#I’m american so I wouldn’t fully know
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All The Things I Did (Modern Era): You'd Have to Stop the World Just to Stop the Feeling
a/n: when I said my brain couldn't stop thinking of AUs...I kind of like the idea that Cass/John's souls reincarnate across time because they are always meant to be together. This is one example of that. It's been rattling in my brain for a little while and I've gotten it on paper and hope you fall just as deeply in love with this version as you have the original. Let me know your thoughts on this era and anything specific you might wish to see. love you xoxo
She felt absolutely miserable. The satin of her champagne colored dress was itchy against her skin and the halter felt like it was choking her and if the Russian Ambassador looked at her bare back like it was a lost wonder of the world one more time she was going to have her forearm against his windpipe in an instant. There was also the absolutely offensive paper weight of a diamond ring on her left hand. She thinks if she threw it hard enough, it could break through the wall of the Embassy’s reception room like a bullet.
“My, my, Miss Cooper. You are looking particularly diplomatic tonight.”
“Dimitri. I asked the bartender to throw away all the vodka so you wouldn’t bother me over here.” She fully knew he was SVR and she assumed he was tracking her State Department cover as loosely intact.
“Come now, my little eagle. I’ve spent all night waiting for you to come flirt with me like you always do. You’ve really kept me waiting.”
“If that’s flirting, things must be very bleak in Russia.” Originally, she had thought she’d try her hand at developing him. He had tried to develop her right back. She dropped her official pursuit of him but the back and forth kept her busy at the stuffy cocktail hours she had to attend. Cass would have preferred to be out in the local villages and talking to the people and the families and the culture she was falling in love with.
“Eh maybe our flirting isn’t great but that new American soldier is looking at you like he wants you in a way us Russian men are very familiar with.” She didn’t have to look to know it was John. His arrival a few days ago had rocked her to the very core and she had done everything in her power to avoid him since. “He the one who put that ring on your finger?”
“If you were half as good as you want me to believe, Dimitri, you’d know. Enjoy your night.” Cass finished off her drink and turned to leave when his hand shot out and wrapped around her wrist. “Let go of me.”
“Miss Cooper, I’m not-”
“She asked you politely. I won’t offer the same courtesy.” A lump lodged in her throat as she felt John’s presence behind her. Her arm was dropped in an instant and she crossed it against her chest.
“Good night, my little eagle.” Dimitir looked at her like he had gotten the exact answer he wanted. She itched to slap the victorious smirk off his face as he walked away.
“You okay? He hurt you?” John touched her wrist tenderly, lovingly, all the things she hadn’t felt against her skin since she fled North Carolina a few months ago.
“I was handling it. He did it on purpose to see how you’d react.” He dropped her arm as the glint of a diamond caught his eye. Took a step back to physically distance himself from the object.
“Sorry to disappoint.” He thought about tacking on an again but thought better of it. If she wasn’t in the mood to talk to him, maybe she never would be, then he wasn’t going to broach down the pathway.
“Not it’s…there’s no way you would have known.” She looked at him, for the first time since they said goodbye bathed in the moonlight on the beaches of Hatteras Island, and he felt his world shift back into place under her gaze. “Thank you.”
“Can I at least get you a refill?” It felt like dipping her toes back in those North Carolina waters. A place she had told herself was too dangerous to go back to. He looked too good in his blues to turn down.
“Yes.” His hand on the small of her back guided her closer to the bar and it felt so warm she could lose herself in it.
“Two of whatever the lady was having.”
“It’s just Coke in a rocks glass, Major.” She smiled as he took a long and satisfying sip either way.
“Still delicious,” he laughed. “You been out here awhile?” Her eyes found the corner of her cocktail napkin much more interesting all of a sudden.
“Since…since around the last time I saw you.” He nodded around the last of his soda. Wished it was full of rum.
“You could have just told me the truth. I would have understood.” Cass shook her head.
“No, you would have fought for me and told me we would find a way to make it work.” She distinctly remembered the look in his eyes on the beach that night. The frustration at her secrecy. The distress at her leaving when he had spent the whole summer learning how to love her. The anger that she acted like the truck bed nights and T6 flights and long weekends spent in bed could be tucked back into a box. He had wanted to scream that he was in love with her. Scream that he knew what was between them was meant to last a lifetime and he would fight for her until the ends of the earth. Scream that this war had already taken so much from so many and they shouldn’t let it take this from them.
“Would it have worked? Clearly, you had something else lined up anyways.” Instead, John had felt defeated. Had heard the words that she was leaving and couldn’t tell him where or why and it was better to leave this summer exactly where they were standing. “My sister sent me the photos of you and him at some Newport mansion.”
“It’s not real. You have to believe me.” Cass would have rather died than know John had seen the staged engagement photos. But the point of a PR campaign was for people to see the evidence.
“You don’t owe me an explanation, Cass.” He turned toward the calling of his name from his fellow pilots. They had been joined by a group of young women who all looked eager to head back to their housing units for the after party.
“Looks like you have a fun night ahead of you.” Pilots were always a hot commodity no matter where they went. And John was tall and handsome and pilot and goofy and…there was nothing wrong with him that she could come up with besides his love for her.
“Are you done for the night? I can walk you back.” She nodded, something about the gaggle of girls waiting for him making her chest ache. “I’ll get your coat.”
They walked in silence at a safe distance. Both of them were walking slower than usual. They didn’t want the fact that they were back in each other’s presence to end. Her housing complex came into view all too quickly. “Nice housing for an alleged entry level econ analyst.”
“Guess I’m just special,” she remarked. He looked at her with a smile while she glanced up at the moon. “He’s running for Congress. Landry. He offered to help my sister fix a problem if I agreed to pretend to be with him for the campaign.”
“Why’re you telling me?” He took a tentative step closer to her.
“Because you asked earlier if it would’ve worked. And it would have. I wanted to tell you the truth about Afghanistan and my job. But my sister made a mistake and there was a way for me to protect her from the consequences and I had to take it.” She fiddled with the buttons of his jacket as tears trickled down her cheeks. “It killed me to say those things to you. I didn’t mean any of it. Those few months we shared together were the best of my life and I wouldn’t trade those memories for anything and I’m sorry I got in the way of the things we dreamt about under the stars every night.”
“Give me your hand, Cass.” With a furrowed brow, she offered him her left hand and he locked his eyes onto hers. He slid the ring off her finger and her breath caught in her throat as he held it up between them. “I’ll make sure this is hand delivered to Mr. Landry.” The ring dropped into his pocket.
“Will you kiss me now, John Egan?”
“Only because you asked so nicely, Cassandra Cooper.” It felt like coming home when his lips touched hers. It felt like the first warm day after a dull winter. Like seeing your favorite movie again. Like the first bite of the food you’ve been craving.
He had thought about trying to track her down. Thought about paying off an intel officer or sweet talking the personnel lady on the fifth floor into looking her up but had always been struck by the look in her eyes when she had left him that night. Begging him to just let it be. Begging him to let her go. Begging him to spare her the pain of his words because the solemn emptiness of her soul was the only thing that would allow her to turn around and leave him behind.
She hadn’t been able to think about him. Not if she wanted to survive. Not when she needed to shut down and smile and pretend to fall in love with the weasel of man that had cunningly offered to help her sister. Cass hadn’t been able to say no. Her only regret was that she hadn’t been able to tell him herself.
“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, please forgive me.” But she would never be able to forgive herself for taking away all the time they could have had together.
“Already forgiven, Cass, I promise.” It was easy to forgive the people you loved. Less so to forget. Less so to heal from the wounds they inflicted on you. She had hurt him so deeply. Eroded all the trust he had in her. Eroded the trust he had for his own gut instinct. Kissing it better was one thing. Picking where they had left off was something else entirely.
“I want to try, John. I want to start over and I want to do this the right way. Even if it’s hard.”
“I’ll choose us every goddamn day, Cass.” She kept her hands on his cheeks as she dropped back down from her toes. “You look stunning tonight. I didn’t get the chance to tell you.” John began to lead her in a dance that could only be heard between the matching, racing beats of their hearts.
“Thank you but anything is going to look more stunning than the camis you saw me in all summer.” He kissed her with a laugh.
“You looked stunning in those too.” Lest she forget that was exactly how he had fallen in love with her in the first place. Low bun and camo pants and rolling her eyes every time a pilot tried to flirt with her. She had beaten a particularly persistent one in a pull up contest to prove her point. “Cass?”
“Yes?”
“Would you like to go on a date with me tomorrow?” She looked around at the mountains and desert. At the bland buildings and miscellaneous pods of gym equipment.
“I suppose.” Their original first date had been to a seafood shack where they broke down their own crabs and were covered in Old Bay and laughed as they walked along the pier and he had kissed her senseless while the sun set over the water. It was the most perfect memory. “Though I doubt you can top our first first date.” John smiled and traced the tip of his nose up and down the side of her cheek.
“I just want to be with you, Cass. Make you feel special. Remind us both that there is still good in this world worth fighting for.”
“I like the way that sounds,” she whispered as she pressed a kiss to his jaw. “You’ll find me when your day is over?”
You’ll always find me?
I’ll always find you. In this life, or any other.
When two souls are meant to tangle together across the universe there is no timeline that can halt them. There would be time apart and forces who tried to keep them that way but none would succeed. You cannot prevent the inevitable.
Two stars colliding into a supernova with no limit in sight. There was no before. There was no after. Only them.
“Yes, Cass. I’ll find you.”
#masters of the air#john egan#callum turner#mota#masters of the air fanfiction#john egan fanfiction#mota fanfiction#masters of the air fanfic#john egan fanfic#mota fanfic#john egan x oc#cass and bucky#john egan x reader
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#sorry if the metric heights aren’t what are usually used#I’m american so I wouldn’t fully know#my post
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𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐁𝐄𝐒𝐓 𝐀𝐌𝐄𝐑𝐈𝐂𝐀𝐍 𝐆𝐈𝐑𝐋 ✷ 𝐂𝐋𝐀𝐑𝐈𝐒𝐒𝐄 𝐋𝐀 𝐑𝐔𝐄
pjo fanfiction 𝐜𝐥𝐚𝐫𝐢𝐬𝐬𝐞 𝐥𝐚 𝐫𝐮𝐞 𝐱 𝐟𝐞𝐦!𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫 ✷ your father wouldn’t approve of how my mother raised me but i do i think i do, and you’re an all-american girl i guess i couldn’t help trying to be your best american girl ✷ 𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 ooc clarisse, aphrodite’s daughter reader, fake dating, angst and pining
𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐓 𝐎𝐍𝐄
The words escaped her mouth before she could fully comprehend what was happening. Big bad Clarisse La Rue with a temper to mimic boiling water and the fight skills to ward off teasing has finally been a victim to it irredeemably as lies slipped past her lips spontaneously, unthinking.
“You had a girlfriend this whole time and none of us knew? Yeah, right, Clarisse, you’re full of shit”
“She used to date a Hephaestus chick, alright? Didn’t want anyone pointing out the whole history repeating itself trope of Aphrodite and Ares” A part of her is proud of her trope, a child of Apollo worthy storyline invented last minute, it seemed to not occur to her the way specifics would bite her in the ass until her sibling’s eyes sparkled mischievously, pointing towards the other end of the bonfire at a female figure she had not seen before, though apparently the only one who seemed to match characteristics.
“You mean to say you’re dating angel face over there?”
Your eyes caught hers for the first time in that moment, setting ablaze something at the pit of her stomach that had seemed to lay dormant far too long, hence the beginning of the relentless conversation she found herself in in the first place. “Yeah, that’s her, my girl” she concurs, taking a sip of her drink and staring off into your figure like a predator.
You first met Tori before you were claimed. She would sneak into the Hermes cabin to give you midnight kisses and hide freshly made jewellery she forged instead of armour under your pillow for surprises, adorning your neck in both purple bruises and metal chains, her own special claim on you. Until your mother showed face. It burned you to remember how she spoke, as though not knowing you, like Aphrodite you must be your mother’s daughter. A cheater, she meant. You still dreamed that your only claim was Tori’s kisses and necklaces on days like these where you watched her by the bonfire avoid your every glimpse.
And then someone’s grip is on your arm.
“I wonder what could the most infamous child of Ares possibly want with me” She raises her eyebrows at the nickname from you, someone she had not acknowledged nor recognized before today though the opposite could clearly not be said, the beginning of a smirk ghosting over her features.
“Is that what I am?”
“Don’t play dumb, Clarisse, it’s not your best look, you know exactly what you are, it’s your charm, that is if you’re into the whole bully chic thing”
“I need a favour from you” She wastes no time and you scoff in response, your eyes still seeking out Tori, anxiously hoping she does not see any of this interaction as to not play out scenarios in her head. Clarisse takes none of it. She grabs you by the chin, in a firm yet surprisingly careful hold and forces you to face her, wide brown eyes with a beauty you hadn’t quite recollected before seeing its warm specks up close like firecrackers trapped behind her irises. You shake off the thought and cross your arms.
“Why would I do you any favours? I bet you don’t even know my name, hell, I bet you don’t even know who I am in general–”
“You’re my girlfriend”
“I beg your pardon?” You nearly choke and Clarisse laughs.
“I’ve been watching you. You’ve been staring at that raven haired Hephaestus girl for the last forty minutes uninterrupted while I can quite easily point out at least six girls who have been drooling to get your attention in the last sixty and you haven’t even spared them a pity glance, so I’m going to guess that’s your ex?”
“What does that have to do with anything besides the fact you’re apparently a fucking stalker?”
“Feisty, angel face” She snarks “I need a girlfriend to get some people off my back for awhile and you apparently want your ex back, so why don’t you use that tiny love focused brain of yours and think for two seconds what makes someone temporarily lose their senses and say, get back together with their ex?”
“You want me to use you to make Tori jealous?”
“Do you really have anything to lose?”
You watch her train, that’s your first date, and it starts off as uninteresting as you guessed it would be. Until she’s flexing a little too much, and you’re catching on, of course, but it’s working, because you’re suddenly focused, mouth agape as she lifts up her shirt exposing her perfectly sculpted abdomen to clean sweat off her forehead with the orange cloth.
“Having fun gawking?” She teases.
“Isn’t that what you brought me here for?”
Clarisse twists her spear around in the air and finally settles it behind her flexed arms, moving towards you as she looks around the training grounds for something, eyes sparkling at the sight of a similar weapon to hers “You know how to fight, angel face?”
“I’m a demigod, Clarisse” She feigns fright at your words before rolling her eyes and moves to throw the spare spear towards you, which you take in hands overwhelmed. She steps back and motions you forward which for whatever reason you comply, before you know it her breath is hot on your neck, a whisper: “Your little ex is watching”
She wasn’t entirely truthful. Tori was there, but she barely spared you a glance. Clarisse’s siblings however watched her every move, and she was preparing a spectacle. Positioning herself behind you, hands on your waist as to fix your stance, she dismissed the way her fingers seemed to physically burn at the sensation of your skin desperately seeking out to touch you more and focused on pointing your aim at the dummy before you. It strikes him right in the heart first try and falls backwards on itself. You’re beaming. Clarisse’s chest squeezes. She forgets to let go of your love handles until you turn around.
“You look pretty when you’re deadly” She casually lets out, a sigh.
“Did Tori see your hands on me?” You look around, an attempt at casually catching your exes eye. You miss the way Clarisse frowns when she agrees nonchalantly. One of her siblings winks, she thinks to herself this was too much trouble.
“Okay I think that’s enough performing for a day”
“You’ll hurt me this way, princess. Can’t stand me that much? I don’t get it, did I dunk one of your friends on the toilet or something?”
“I don’t understand”
“Playing dumb isn’t your look either” Clarisse mimics your first encounter as she stares daggers at you. She looks like she could see right through your soul and it sends shivers down your spine.
“You really don’t remember me, huh?” You scoff, and Clarisse is furrowing her brows and attempting to dive into her memory but you’re quicker to refresh it “My first year here I was like a lost and kicked puppy. And you were the girl who killed the monster who nearly killed me and actually killed my satyr protector. I guess it was just another day for you but it was my worst nightmare and you were a fucking knight in shining armor, I thought so anyways. I followed you around for months, and what does it say that you didn’t even know my name until two days ago? You are probably the one most self centered person I have ever met and I was a stupid little girl with a crush who thought you could save me while you actively terrorised everyone who was nice to you. Including me. And you don’t even remember taunting me, because it was just another fucking wednesday. So maybe I’m not enthusiastic about playing your girlfriend for longer than I have to”
It suddenly dawns on her, the memory of you. You looked different now, she guessed those were some perks of growing up as an Aphrodite kid but staring at your face, hurt expression, made the resemblance uncanny. To the one person she regretted hurting. She had just lost a fight and you had ran after her for comfort, but Ares had seen it. So there was nothing you could say. She wanted someone to hurt like she was hurting as though it would take her own pain away. She lost the fucking fight because she looked for you in the audience as she was winning. Affection made her weak. She made you pay for it.
“You called me a stupid girl who doesn’t know when to leave people alone and that’s why no one could stand me. Ring a bell?” You turned around to leave when Clarisse was silent. She surprised herself when she spoke up.
“Well let me teach you to hate me less!” She called out, running her hand through her curls frantically “We can’t do this if you don’t stand the sight of me, my siblings won’t buy it, your ex girlfriend who knows you certainly won’t either. Let’s go out and talk and maybe you’ll like something about me, I don’t know”
“Why does it matter so much to you that you have a girlfriend? Why do your siblings care? Answer me this and I might go with you”
“Fucking Gods, you’re insufferable” She mutters “Because I’m tired of being the one with no life, okay? All I have is training, and everyone knows that and I hate when they start worrying so I need anything to ward it off and I guess relationship maybe screams reason to live and not dying to be a war martyr so this is what I got, okay? It’s stupid, but it’s what I got”
“Alright”
“Alright?”
“I’ll try to like you, Clarisse”
She leads you to the forest in the middle of the night as to not alert anyone. The moon is full and it lights up her face in a way that softens her usually rough features. It is strange how your hands meet eachothers halfway in a hold until you reach your destination, a lake surrounded by flowers. You’re taking off your clothes, stripping into underwear before Clarisse could even fully process it, her eyes widening at the sight of your unbuttoning jeans reaching your calves, then the floor.
“Aren’t you coming?” You say as you stumble into the water. She watches you, the same way she had at the bonfire, and feels guilt pool at her throat for the way she gazed at your body. Clarisse wants to put a word to her feeling and all that comes to mind is hungry. She feels hungry. Like she could bite into your skin and tarnish its softness, like she needs to.
She takes off her clothes as well, skin still hot despite the cold air embracing her suddenly. You watch her too, she notices. Though she can’t pinpoint the look in your eye as she walks into the lake and heads towards you, stopping until your chests barely touch. There’s unusual heavy breathing from the both of you, hypnotised. You’re sure you won’t speak of it tomorrow.
“What’s your favourite colour?”
“Are you serious?”
“I’m trying to find things to like about you, work with me here”
“I like red. Like blood”
“Like love” Clarisse doesn’t bother to reply to your argument, but it makes a part of her shake. War and romance unfortunately have too many things in common, she notes to herself.
“My turn. Why do you want your ex back?”
“Because she was good to me. She was kind and soft and she liked me. I miss feeling like someone cares like that”
“Aren’t you Aphrodite’s daughter? Doesn’t that sound a little like the bare minimum? She’s good to you? She’s kind? Didn’t she stop being those things when it ended?”
“You don’t know anything about relationships, Clarisse, you’ve never had one. I’m difficult, I’m a cheater’s kid, I’m–”
“You’re beautiful. Breathtaking, like your mom. Maybe that’s the only thing you got from her. You can aim. You’re strong. You’re apparently vengeful at least towards me which in my books is an attractive quality, you’re witty and you get little crinkles around your eyes when you laugh. I’m going to guess you didn’t cheat on that ex of yours so you’re not an asshole, for sure not a cheater. You give people chances when they don’t deserve it. I’m not quite following what could be so damn difficult about you”
You stay silent for awhile. Thinking. She hates herself for not knowing what it is that you think, and regrets saying so many things in your quietness. Then you whisper something she doesn’t catch and she asks you to say it again and in clear noise it sounds as shocking as it did when she first thought to have tricked her ears: “You never had a relationship, have you ever been kissed?”
Clarisse shakes her head no.
“Can I kiss you?” You correct yourself as you lean in, placing a curl behind her ear “Just in case we need to do this in front of your siblings or Tori, so we’re ready”
“Right” Clarisse mumbles as her hands snake her way around your waist pulling your body closer to fully press against hers “Just in case” she finishes whispering before her lips finds yours. There’s more desire than you both thought there would be. It’s desperate. Messy. Tongues clashing and chests heaving. She wants to taste you forever. She thinks she’s screwed.
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Twilight
“In hindsight, I probably should have known what it meant,” Alex groans, bringing both hands up to cover her face. “I made sure that I only hung up the posters that had Kristen Stewart on them.”
Kara remembers all those posters, the too pale boys possessively flanking the movies’ main female character. She’d always wondered why Alex was so into the Twilight series; they were all just…so bad. Now it made more sense.
“Aw, babe,” Kelly teases, “let me know if you want me to reenact any of your teenage dreams about biting. I’m game.”
Alex groans again, but this time it’s accompanied by a bright blush.
Laughter fills the room. They’ve been sharing stories about their first significant celebrity crushes for the last few minutes, the board game temporarily abandoned in front of them.
Kara has learned that Nia had a thing for Keanu Reeves after watching that bomb on a bus movie one too many times, but that she also “wouldn’t have kicked Sandra Bullock off her bed”, as she put it.
Brainy mentioned that he went through a rather intense phase of trying to learn more about Earth culture, specifically American pop culture, and that he got stuck on the OG Wonder Woman, Lynda Carter, for a while. Not a bad choice, Kara thinks while Nia jokes that she’d be more than happy to tie him up with a lasso.
Kelly then rattles off a few actors that Kara thinks were on the L Word, with a particular emphasis on Jennifer Beals. Kara half expects Alex to make a joke about Flashdance, but instead, Alex simply leans into Kelly and presses a soft kiss to her cheek.
When they get to Kara, she has to disappoint.
“I don’t think I have anything to offer here. Not really.”
Alex hums. “The posters on your walls were all images from the Hubble telescope. I mean, I know you liked NSYNC for their music, but I don’t think you ever swooned over any of them. Not really. There was definitely a mental love affair with Lilo and Stitch, though.”
When Alex mentions the Hubble images, Kara feels a cool pale hand slip into hers to give it a short squeeze. It’s brief, a quick show of support, but it means everything to Kara. She turns to Lena and smiles gratefully. At the same time, the attention of the rest of their friend group shifts to Lena as well.
But Lena just shrugs. “I definitely wasn’t allowed to hang up any posters in the Luthor mansion.”
“Yeah, but what about boarding school? Come on, Luthor,” Alex probes, “you can’t tell me there wasn’t a ton of celebrity gossip going around at an all-girls school.”
“Oh there was gossip alright. I can’t say I ever really knew what it was about, though. I didn’t really watch movies or TV growing up, so most of the names the girls were talking about meant nothing to me.”
This time, it’s Kara who squeezes Lena’s hand. She knows that Lena doesn’t like to talk about what growing up was like for her. She doesn’t like the pitying looks, or the constant assumptions that just because her family was rich, Lena must have had everything she ever wanted. But before the mood in the room turns too gloomy, Lena sits up a little, a small smirk on her face.
“So maybe I was a bit of a late bloomer that way. I would say I had my first real celebrity crush in my early 20s.”
That gets everyone’s attention.
“Oh really? Who was it?” Nia asks gleefully.
“Well, I was still in Metropolis at the time. But I had watched them on TV, followed their budding celebrity status.”
Lena pauses for a moment before she turns to face Kara more fully.
“And then I gave Jack Spheer an impassioned speech about why I had to move to National City, about how important it was to me to be the Luthor living in the same city as Supergirl. I believe I even said I wanted to share my home with her.”
There’s a stunned silence in the room for a few seconds before Alex barks out a laugh.
“Really? Your celebrity crush was Supergirl?”
And Kara considers if she should intervene, tell Alex to lay off on the heavy teasing she knows is going to happen now, but Lena is looking at her and she’s still smiling, calm and confident, and Kara simply smiles right back.
Lena chuckles, her eyes never leaving Kara’s. “Of course it was. I mean, have you seen that skintight suit and very, very short skirt she was in at the time?”
“Ugh,” Alex huffs, “I didn’t need to hear that. That’s my sister you’re talking about.”
Lena shrugs again. “You asked, I answered.”
And then she leans in and kisses Kara and Kara makes a mental note to figure out how to send a message to Winn into the future to thank him for his incredibly “male gaze” costume design for her first Supersuit.
(She does very much prefer the pants these days, though.)
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twenty two days before we go our separate ways (twenty two days of not falling for you) | yoon jeonghan
content: fluff; angst (because ofc); fake dating; friends to lovers; some joshua x reader; adults who are in their 30s and have jobs;
word count: 20.3k
summary: there’s a special bond between you and jeonghan, and no one was surprised when you announced you were together. to you, it’s a surprise no one realised it wasn’t real.
warnings: language; allusions to sex and suggestive language; (brief) descriptions of vomiting; jealousy and possessiveness;
after a five month hiatus i have returned with a HOLY WHY IS THIS SO LONG fic hope you enjoy :)
also i’ve decided i want to label my fics the same way fob write song titles
D-1
“You have got to be kidding me.”
His eyes widened, then slowly closed in embarrassment. “Look, you’re the only person I could ask…”
“There is no way I’m going to fake date you, Jeonghan!”
In all the years that you had spent knowing Jeonghan, you had never gotten fully used to the shenanigans and plots, half of which you were a pawn in, half were levied against you. Right now, it was easy to say you preferred the latter. Especially given that unlike your mutual friend Soonyoung, he never went too far. Jeonghan had a perfect skill for being outlandish but never unacceptable. Although, this time felt too far. This time felt ridiculous.
“It’s only for three weeks!”
“Twenty two days! Three weeks! Thats three separate, wait no FOUR separate Saturdays I’ll have to spend cozied up to you, pretending to- ugh.”
“Don’t gag.”
“Huoh.”
Gagging was excessive, in all fairness. Jeonghan was a gorgeous man, and the string of broken hearts he carried on his shoulder was evidence enough, which made you so much more suspicious of his words. Why were you the only person available?
“I just need to get this girl off my back at Wonwoo’s wedding, and it has to be believable, because you know that Jun and Seungcheol cannot keep a secret, so if they know then Jiwon will know, and if Jiwon knows then I’m trapped. Cmon, please.”
“Three weeks is so long.” You whined, throwing yourself down on the couch. You had always been one for the dramatics. Perhaps thats what drew you to Jeonghan, why you were good friends.
FRIENDS. Specifically.
“Look it’s not like you wouldn’t get anything out of it!” Jeonghan begged, kneeling in front of you in a desperate attempt to have you look his way. “It would make Joshua so jealous.”
“He would only be jealous if he actually had feelings for me, Han, and we both know he doesn’t.”
“That’s not true, I am so completely sure he has feelings for you, he just doesn’t know it yet.” Jeonghan’s hand was on your shoulder, rubbing it soothingly, as you were reminded of how helpless and pathetic you felt when it came to Joshua. The gorgeous American who never seemed to spare a glance in your direction. Sure, you were all friends, and he obviously cared about you, but only as a friend. It was clear the way he looked at other people, it was a way he had never looked at you. It didn’t take a genius to figure it out, and for the most part you would like to say you were pretty good at spotting when people had feelings for you.
When you were eleven and there was pesky Seokmin who kept throwing pencils at you when he thought you weren’t looking, it was obvious he had feelings for you, which you quickly shut down because who would want to go out with someone who had to resort to petty violence to get your attention? And Mingyu, who would avoid you like the plague all of year 12 until he could muster up the courage to tell you about his feelings for you, which you had obviously seen coming. You were always one step ahead - you didn’t like being caught off guard. Jeonghan was the only person you felt like you could trust to trick you, if that made sense at all. Even when he was being a menace, you still felt somewhat safe. And that was really working against you at the moment.
“You know,” He spoke with a glint in his eye that you couldn’t have missed, even if you wanted to. Oh, how desperately you wanted to. After being friends for so long, you could read Jeonghan too well. “He’s just broken up with Heejin. I bet we could try to make him jealous? Make him realise his feelings for you?”
You sniffled slightly, burying a laugh at Jeonghan’s cunning expression. “You’re just saying that so I’ll agree to go out with you.”
“Maybe. Is it working?”
You pondered for a moment. When Jihoon got married just a few months prior, you didn’t have anyone to go with, and you felt devastated watching the gorgeous boy hanging off Joshua’s shoulder. Jeonghan was quick to offer to ditch his date for you, but it didn’t make the ache in your chest dull any faster. You didn’t want to relive that, and you definitely didn’t want to seem lonely and desperate - you didn’t miss the concerned glance from Joshua last time. It would be nice to seem more desired, even if it was fake. It’s all about image, right?
“You know if we do this you won’t be able to flirt with anyone at the party.” You reminded him. “We’ll have to keep up the ruse that you’re actually interested in me.”
“Is it too late to take it back?”
“Yah, Jeonghan!”
“Kidding! Who wouldn’t be into you? Well…” He trailed off teasingly, and it’s moments like this where your glare settles in across from him that he feels so lucky to be secure in your friendship. “I wouldn’t dream of ditching you.”
“I can’t believe I’m doing this.” You whispered to your ceiling, and you didn’t miss the grin that spread across Jeonghan’s face. Lucky bastard. “Fine, starting from tomorrow we will be fake dating.”
“Thank you, thank you, thank you Y/N!” He grabbed your hands, pulling you up from the sofa to celebrate with him. “I will drive you everywhere, don’t worry, and whenever you don’t feel like cooking I’ll cook for you, and-“
“Woah, slow down, I’ll pass on the food. I’ve seen you in a kitchen.” You hushed your friend, letting him settle. “Besides, if we’re going to do this, we need rules. Everything needs to be out in the open.”
You never liked being caught off guard, and you were going to make sure you weren’t.
You settled back down onto the couch, and Jeonghan disappeared to grab something from out of your fridge before settling against you, cuddling to your side. “So what’s the backstory? People are definitely going to ask how we got together, we should probably get a story established.”
“Hmm, what about, you watched me kill it at karaoke, and you were so overcome with adoration and horniness that you confessed your undying love for me, and-“
“Absolutely not. I refuse to say any of that.”
“That’s okay, I’ll tell them.”
“No way!” You shoved him playfully, groaning as he elbowed you in retaliation. “Low blow, Han. Let’s try to think of something more realistic. What about you went on a date and it made me jealous, so I confessed?”
“Yeah, except we’ve both dated other people and it’s never caused jealousy before, I don’t think anyone would fall for it.” He told you, and you cursed under your breath because he was right. “What about we got tipsy and made out? And then realised we liked each other?”
“That works, I guess. It’s a little crass but it’ll do.” You nodded at Jeonghan, and grabbed a piece of paper from your coffee table. “Now rules: obviously we can’t tell anyone.”
“No shit.”
“Don’t be rude, we have to write the obvious too.” You rolled your eyes at Jeonghan, jotting down the words escaping your mind onto paper. No one can know this is fake.
“What about once it’s all over? You know, when you’re off being married to Joshua, and I’ve got myself a new sexy partner?” Jeonghan questioned, wiggling his eyebrows and nudging you.
“Ew? Why did I agree to this?”
“Because deep down you love me and my shenanigans.” Jeonghan popped a cherry in his mouth, chewing on it slightly, staining his lips red. You looked in disgust as a sliver of crimson drool slipped down the corner of his mouth.
“Deep, deep, deep, deep, deep down.”
“Didn’t deny it.” He winked. “So can we tell people eventually? Or are we taking this to the grave?”
“Okay, how about this? No one can know this is fake until we’re married to other people. There, that gives us plenty of time.” Jeonghan nodded thoughtfully, and you quickly jotted down the addition.
“Oh, pass me the pen, I have a good one.”
You let the pen drop out of your hands, pushing it to Jeonghan, who started scribbling something down. You looked over his shoulder, reading out the words…
“…We can’t be cliche and fall in love with each other- are you taking this seriously at all Han?”
He laughed, and you swear he would have spit cherries all over you. You cursed slightly, feeling suddenly very tempted to push him off the bed. “Dickhead.”
“A future junior partner at Kim-Byun Legal Services shouldn’t be using that kind of language, Y/N.” Jeonghan teased, smirking at your frustrated expression.
“Shut it Yoon. And take this seriously! If we fuck up everyone will find out, including Jiwon.”
He shuddered at the mention of her name. “God and she won’t leave me alone. Fine, what other rules do we need?”
“Hmm, we need to post each other on social media. Instagram is a must.” You told him, and to your surprise he hummed in agreement - you really were expecting more of a pushback. Jeonghan never liked tainting his single and available persona, and he was yet to ever post a S/O photo anywhere. “You don’t sound upset?”
“You’re right. It won’t be believable if there’s nothing online, at least on your social media. Besides, the more we commit, the more jealous Joshua will get, and the more Jiwon will realise she needs to back off.”
You nodded, writing it down. “That means we’ll probably have to pose for photos, go on dates and such.”
“Eh, we already hang out loads, we’ll just have to add cheesy captions. Doesn’t sound difficult at all.”
Jeonghan was right. You had spent way too many years being friends with him to ever feel uncomfortable around him, and with that boundaries were out of the window. Half of your outings looked like dates, and this wasn’t even the first time the two of you had used that ambiguity to convince others you or he wasn’t available. It was the first time you were actively deceiving people though. Perhaps that was why you felt on edge. All the other times, you had just let people come to their own conclusions, this time you would be lying. Was that why your heart was beating more? Was that what was causing the sudden discomfort as you laid in Jeonghan’s arms?
“Okay, that’s three rules, do we need anything else? Is there anything we’re forgetting?”
He thought about it for a moment, then brushed it off, letting the thought roll away from his shoulders, while yours stayed tensed and rigid. “We can probably add as we go along. Leave it on your fridge, oh but hide it when you get guests.”
“Well duh.” You rolled your eyes at him, grabbing a cherry out of his bowl. You chewed it softly, and groaned in surprise at the way it burst open. “God these are way too ripe, why are you eating them?”
“They still taste good, and they make me look like a vampire.” He grinned at you, showing off his stained canines (and chin, but you decided not to focus on that). “Just spray me with body glitter and I’ll have hoards of fangirls.”
“You already have hoards of fangirls, and fanboys.” You reminded him, rubbing at the corner of your mouth where cherry juice exploded down.
Jeonghan watched as you missed the trail of juice that had begun to dry on your skin. He smiled, and before you knew it he had licked his thumb, wiping away the red line from your mouth. Your breath hitched as you watched his eyes, trained on you, the part of your cheek right next to your lips, so much so that it felt like that’s all he was looking at. He smiled, drawing his finger back, with a satisfied look on his face.
“There,” He whispered, barely audible had you not been pressed up against him. “You can get a taste of the Yoon Jeonghan Boyfriend Treatment early.”
“Gross, you got your saliva all over me.” You whined, pushing him away. “I gotta wash my face now.” You ignored his chuckles as you made a beeline for the bathroom, eager to get him off of you, in every sense.
“You better get used to my saliva babe!” He laughed as you walked away from him. Cute.
It’s a strange feeling to ponder on your time with someone, but that’s what you watched yourself do in the hour before you were, technically, officially going out with him. The hour until midnight struck, you were in bed, teeth brushed, pajamas on, and only Jeonghan on your mind.
You’ve spent more of your life with him in it than without him. He was in the year above you at school, but you and him always gravitated to the same napping spot under the bleachers, and from there a comfort was born. Even before that, he was always around, his friends were the older brothers of your friends, and you had known each other by association, which made it easier to grow into an easy friendship come middle school. Half of the times you had suspected someone’s growing crush on you, it was Jeonghan whispering rumours into your ear. He had always looked out for you, and as the two of you aged and grew closer, you looked out for him too, until you two felt most comfortable together, and not with anyone else.
It had never stopped the two of you from dating, of course. He was hot, you were hot, and other people realised it. In your case though, it had been a force driving boyfriends away. They could never quite get used to how close you and Jeonghan were, and you had been accused of cheating or leading them on more times than you could count. Meanwhile, Jeonghan’s flings always came rushing to you on advice and inside intel, seemingly loving your presence - until they realised that he would never put them above you, and suddenly you were the bitter best friend who could never let him date in peace.
And you had friends, mutual friends who in turn formed a large group that you welcomed and blossomed with. But no one could ever come in between you and Jeonghan. The two of you existed in a little bubble, never to be popped or disturbed. You could imagine the delight some of your friends would express once you told them you two were an item, they were always the teasing that you two were secretly dating and hiding it from the world.
But you were an adult now, the two of you had been out of high school and university for several years now, and still you weren’t dating, despite being so close, it drove your friends mad. You knew that you didn’t need to explain it, as long as you and Jeonghan were on the same page. Boyfriends would come and go, but Jeonghan was always your priority. It had always been platonic, but you knew that if nothing else lasted, your friendship with Jeonghan would. He knew it too.
You turned, groaning into your pillow. How were you going to go to this wedding? Part of the beauty of your relationship with Jeonghan was that it was simple. It had never once felt complicated to you, just because other people didn’t understand it doesn’t mean you didn’t. But not dating for over a decade and suddenly starting to go out? Only to break it off three weeks later? That felt too complicated to explain, or even comprehend. Would people even believe it?
You were so tempted to text Jeonghan to call it off, to find another stunning specimen to hang off his arm and scare away Jiwon. She was all bark, no bite - no matter what hurtful words she had spat at Jeonghan when he tried calling their thing off, she wouldn’t go up and make light of those threats. Ultimately, she was harmless, but terrible at taking hints. Hence why he’s created this dumb plan. It wasn’t too late to back out was it? You grabbed your phone, and it dinged in your hand.
12:01. Shit.
And there it was, a text from your loving boyfriend.
Hannie: Happy first day of dating, baby ;)
No backing out now.
Day 1 - Saturday 3rd November
After the reminder Jeonghan had sent of your month long promise, you had rolled around your bed until you finally nodded off, and then subsequently overslept, which was only made clear as a banging on your door began to wake you.
Jeonghan was here.
The knock (which was always made with the full force of his fists - you swore that one day he was going to break your door down) was nothing other than courtesy. Jeonghan had his own set of keys to your apartment, and he wasn’t shy about using them. You could already hear him fumbling with the keys, and the muttered curses under his breath. You couldn’t wait to make partner and get out of this place and to somewhere with more soundproofing, you were certainly sick of hearing the muffled grunts and moans of your neighbours who had nothing better to do than spend the nights in each other(’s arms). But it did allow you those few seconds of awareness before Jeonghan barged into your home.
The door finally swung open, and there he was in his full glory - your new boyfriend. Even thinking the word in association with Jeonghan gave you a shudder. There was something about thinking of Jeonghan that way that just felt so… alien. It wasn’t like you had never had those wandering thoughts, but that was all they were: visitors who didn’t stay long. Now, the label was here for three weeks, and you were way too tired to comprehend just how long that really was.
“Why aren’t you up? Don’t you remember we’re helping Minghao set up the venue today? We’ve also got to make an all so important announcement, in case you forgot.”
You groaned, smoothing down your bedhead as best you could to be semi presentable. “I know, I just overslept. Struggled to fall asleep last night.”
He looked over at you as you stumbled out of bed, grabbing the coat hanger that had your outfit off your dresser as you walked slowly to the bathroom. “Just give me 20 minutes to get ready.”
“Are you feeling okay Y/N?” He asked carefully, walking closer to you. “It’s not too late to call it off, I don’t want to stress you out, especially with everything going on with work.”
It was certainly a tempting offer, and one you had been considering just the previous night. But looking back at Jeonghan’s concerned expression, you were reminded of why you even agreed in the first place. Yes, you wanted to make Joshua jealous, and that was your main goal, but Jeonghan had never let you down, and you weren’t going to let him down either.
“Don’t worry. Wonwoo’s wedding is on the 24th. Four Saturdays, I can definitely last that long.” You told him, blinking away the puffiness in your eyes. He didn’t seem too convinced, but you knew Jeonghan was too far in it to say anything else. “Twenty minutes, then we’ll go.”
Day 1 (cont.)
You weren’t too sure when it happened, but somewhere along the car ride, Jeonghan’s spare hand had nestled into yours. It felt somewhat romantic. You were no stranger to holding his hand, but it meant something different this time. Of course, something deceptive, but still different.
As the car pulled to the stop, you squeezed his hand comfortingly.
“Ready?”
You and Jeonghan smiled at each other, and to anyone who could see past the tinted windows, you were putting on your best show even before you walked out of the car. Of course, knowing Seungcheol, he was probably waiting outside the venue, and this sort of attention to detail that Jeonghan had mastered was crucial considering your friends.
“Ready.”
Your hands detached as the two of you got out of the car, only to join once more as Jeonghan rushed to your side, draping his arm across your shoulder and kissing your hand. You were almost shocked by his actions, the ones that felt so loving, until you heard the all too familiar screech of his would be best friend (had that title not been taken by you, long ago).
“Yoon Jeonghan! Did you and Y/N finally confess your love to each other?!” Seungcheol yelled across the parking lot, jogging up to you.
“Showtime.” Jeonghan whispered in your ear, nuzzling his nose against your skin. It was so sickeningly puppy love, you had to hold yourself back and be reminded that this is your life for the next month. “Seungcheol!”
He walked up and hugged his friend, and you followed suit, before settling back at Jeonghan’s side. Seungcheol couldn’t hide his grin, going on and on. “I knew it! For years, you guys said there was nothing there, but I knew it would happen eventually! I told you so, didn’t I Jeonghan? And all you ever said, Y/N and I are just friends, they would never see me that way, but HAH! I was right!”
Seungcheol kept rambling, barely even speaking to you, truthfully it felt more like he was yelling at characters on a screen rather than friends he had known for all his life (at least in Jeonghan’s case - you only got to know Seungcheol as you got closer to Jeonghan).
“Everyone’s going to be so shocked, even more so than when Wonwoo finally proposed.”
You scoffed. “No one was surprised when Wonwoo proposed, we were all surprised he hadn’t proposed sooner.”
“Same sentiment they’ll have with us, I guess.” Jeonghan shrugged, tightening his grip around you. You held your bated breath as you thought about just how close you were to Jeonghan, that if you reached out just a little you could tuck that stray hair that was in front of his face away, you always thought he looked so much nicer when his face wasn’t covered-
“…dating?” Seungcheol’s sentence finally trailed off, and you realised he was waiting for your answer. Shit, you hadn’t paid any attention, and it was clearly evident by your lost expression. “God you two are still in the honeymoon phase, pay attention to me as well, not just your boyfriend.”
Your nose almost curled so instinctively at that word. Boyfriend. It still felt so wrong to use for Jeonghan, and by the way he tensed only ever so slightly beside you, you knew he felt the same. As if you were claiming him, but you knew Jeonghan wouldn’t want that, that’s why he froze. Wasn’t it?
“Come on, let’s go inside, you can tell everyone you’re finally dating!”
You and Jeonghan followed Seungcheol, who chattered away to Jeonghan as you walked in silence. You were always the more quiet of the pair. Not exactly introverted or shy, but picky with your words. You hated the idea of saying something you didn’t mean. Jeonghan was careful too, but it was like he had everything ready before anything else was ever said. Jeonghan was always careful, always clever.
He had never been the boyfriend type. Everyone knew it. He had flings, some that even lasted months, but never relationships. He went on dates, but only those that ended up in a hookup. The word boyfriend had never been used to describe him, only used as a wish others had hoped he would fulfill. Your friends would always tease, of course, that he could never be a boyfriend to anyone else because he was too busy being a boyfriend for you, but the two of you knew it wasn’t that. No, Jeonghan could never be a boyfriend to anyone because he didn’t want the expectations that came with it. Jeonghan did as he wanted, on his own terms. But a boyfriend has a role to play, and Jeonghan would die before he gave into that. It was always frustrating for him that his friends never seemed to understand that, but now it played right into his plan. And you understood, so did anyone else need to?
As Seungcheol ushered you in, you were surprised to see just how many of your friends were already gathered, moving chairs and dusting the floors, with Minghao set in the centre, directing everyone. Wonwoo and his fiancee were doing their best to cut costs, with Minghao acting as wedding planner, and all their friends chipping in to help out where they could, which of course is how you all ended up setting up a wedding venue inside a dusty old warehouse. Minghao assured them it would look beautiful, if and only if everyone listened carefully to every instruction he gave, without deviation. To say you and Jeonghan were scared of pissing him off was definitely an understatement.
Eyes snapped to you and Jeonghan at the sound of the door closing, and even more gathered in your direction as Seungcheol started yelling about an announcement.
“Y/N and Jeonghan have something to say!” He yelled across the crowds (well, 30 or so friends), apologising silently to Minghao as he glared at the older boy.
You froze, hiding your head in Jeonghan’s arm as the pressure of being watched suddenly settled into you. He smiled at you, and wagged your hand held in his at everyone. “Y/N and I are dating!”
Everyone erupted into gasps and shouts, but were all effectively shut up by Minghao’s yell. “Get this place clean first, then gossip!”
Jun walked up to you, handing you a mop and reading off instructions Minghao had given him on everything that needed to be done today. “But seriously, I am so happy for you guys. Good luck fielding everyone off though, everyone’s gonna have so many questions.”
You walked over with Jun to where Chan, Yeeun, Sakura, and Seungkwan were all mopping the floors. The youngest pushed you gently, grinning at you.
“I can’t believe you and Jeonghan are finally dating!” Chan grinned. “Took you guys long enough.”
“I guess it’s been a long time coming.” You hummed, as you started cleaning the floors with them. You looked back to where Jeonghan was, now surrounded by friends who were congratulating him. It filled you with a strange pride to know you were a prize to be congratulated for winning. Of course, they don’t know it’s not real. But the illusion still felt victorious.
“Is everyone here? It’s been ages since we all met up.”
“Yeah! Oh, everyone but Joshua, he had to cancel last minute.” You felt your shoulders threaten to drop at the news Soonyoung shared. “Of course, the day we’re cleaning away the dust and mould, he can’t make it.”
Sakura hit his shoulder softly. “He would come if he could. There was an emergency at his firm.”
There was no skylight, but you were sure that if there was one, the clouds would have covered the sunlight.
You were only a year younger than Joshua, only a year younger than Jeonghan, but he had already been a junior partner at his firm for three years now, while you were spending every spare hour at your office in a desperate attempt to prove to the asses behind the desks in the floor above yours how much you deserved to be partner.
You weren’t surprised when Joshua was made partner. He was incredible, a talented lawyer who saw shortcuts and loopholes no one else realised were there. He was so dedicated, and smart, and dreamy, although you were sure that last part wasn’t one of the qualifying traits for partnership.
Your whole life, you were a step behind him. Most of that was just the fact that he was a year ahead of you: he graduated first, he took his bar exam first, he joined a firm first. Meanwhile you were the sad kid following him from place to place.
It was no secret Joshua cared for you like a younger sibling. Of course, he wasn’t always around, he couldn’t be. He had too much to do, too many places to be. But he cared about you, and always made sure you knew. What was a secret were the feelings you had for him, locked in a cage next to your heart, with a bluebird that sang love songs to fuel your adoration for him. Only Jeonghan knew, and he had been sworn to secrecy. (It didn’t matter that he had been - he could keep a secret easily, and he would have never given away one of yours.)
When you were seventeen, and Joshua left you to go to university, that was the first moment you realised just how much you cared for him. You ended up in the same university, and then later the same law school, and now the same city. The years you shared in law school, cuddled up in sofas trying to decipher notes from lectures, and questioning the sanity of professors formed a budding love, and one that you only realised when he left you once more. You followed him and Jeonghan place to place, in a desperate attempt to have him realise just how you felt, and he never did. You were his Y/N, always around, always there for him, but never an option. And while he dated, you did too, but no one seemed to replace him. All your exes blamed Jeonghan for your failed relationships, when they should have blamed Joshua.
And now here you were once again, back home from cleaning up Wonwoo’s rented warehouse, once again wishing he had noticed you, wishing that he would finally see you in a different light.
Day 2 - Sunday 4th November
“You have to pose more like you’re my boyfriend.”
“What does that even mean?”
“I don’t know! But you’re not very good at this.”
Jeonghan groaned, shoving your phone away from his face like a disgraced celebrity. The two of you had met out for coffee and, in your case, highlighting case notes and writing out forms, while Jeonghan edited scripts. You always thought Jeonghan should have gone into law like you and Joshua, he certainly had the intelligence for it, but he didn’t particularly have a drive to become a lawyer, and in his eyes it was too much work if he wasn’t motivated. Times like this convince you that perhaps he was correct.
Except now that the two of you were dating, there was also the task of creating the evidence necessary to post your relationship, and it was tedious and confusing having to show the difference between you as friends and you dating when nothing has changed.
“We might as well just post a photo of you or I in lingerie if you want to make it look more like a real relationship.” Jeonghan said teasingly, although you didn’t miss the hint of frustration in the growl of his voice.
“Gross.”
“Let me see the photos you’ve taken at least.” You handed your phone to Jeonghan, moving your attention back to the case in front of you. Malcom Optics vs. Kim and Hogan. You wanted to tear your eyes out. “These are boyfriend-y enough!”
“They look like all the other photos I have of you!”
“Everyone else was convinced we were dating beforehand, that’s definitely relationship kindling.”
You reached our for your phone from his hands, grabbing a highlighter. “It’s not enough. Apparently, something has changed.”
“Fine then. Kiss me.”
You dropped your highlighter, and it clacked to the floor.
“Excuse me?”
“You wanted to show that something has changed, what do people in relationships do? They kiss.” Jeonghan explained nonchalantly, leaning down to grab your highlighter. “We can post a kissing photo, you’re right, it’s more believable this way.”
“B-But…”
“It’s not like we’ve never kissed before, anyway.”
He was right, and you cringed at the memory of being drunk with Jeonghan. The two of you had spent a couple of nights in university drinking your problems away on the floor of your dorm when your roommate was away (and considering the sheer number of parties she spent her time at, you and Jeonghan had a semi frequent tradition), and one such night after an emotional day of being accused of cheating, you ended up making out with an equally wasted Jeonghan, only for the two of you to wake up with an insurmountable feeling of dread and regret. The two of you had always known whatever relationship between the two of you was platonic, but that night destroyed any sort of wondering. There was no way you had feelings for him if it resulted in that awful dread. And it made you so nervous to experience it once more.
“Y/N?”
“Fine.”
You got up from the desk to sit on Jeonghan’s lap. The seats at this coffee shop were comfortable, but not enough for two people to sit together. Jeonghan felt himself tense up as you settled into his lap. It had been way too long since the two of you kissed, and a strange feeling settled in his stomach.
“Ready?” You asked him, moving your phone into position.
“Guess I have to be.”
Jeonghan placed his hand so his thumb nestled just in front of your ear, holding the back of your neck securely, and closed his eyes as he kissed you, waiting for the click of your phone camera, which came quickly. You quickly pulled away to look at the results, ignoring the way your stomach dropped. It meant nothing. But why was it lingering?
“This actually looks good. We look like we could actually be dating here.”
You hummed in satisfaction, moving back to your desk to focus once more on this case, and you hoped Jeonghan missed the coy smile on your lips.
He was too busy thinking about how his own felt.
Day 7 - Friday 9th November
“Sofia is hosting a party, we’re going once you’re free from work.” Jeonghan’s voice was gravelly over the phone, and the reception in your office was so bad, you were barely getting every other word.
“Who’s Sofia again?” You asked, hardly paying attention to the question. Instead, your attention was trained on the office door on the other side of your office, where your coworker, Eunwoo, resided. You just watched as two senior partners had stepped in, and it had been now 26 minutes since the door closed. Were they going to promote him over you? Or perhaps he was getting fired? You had seen him grab one too many pens from the office storage room, he could have been selling them to make a bit of side money. Probably not. But could he?
“Vernon’s sister, try to keep up.”
“Right yeah, sister.”
“Who’s sister?”
“Umm…”
Jeonghan sighed on the phone, and you winced at his tone. “You’re working too hard. Or overthinking. One of the two. Either way, you need this party.”
“I’ve got so much work to do, Hannie.” You told him, taking note of the time. There were two shadows by the base of Eunwoo’s door. Someone’s feet? Was the meeting over yet?
“But it’s a Friday! You can work on the weekend. I’ll drive you, and I’ll stay sober so I can take you home. Besides, Joshua is going to be there.”
You perked up at the sound of his name. “Really? He’s actually coming?”
“Yeah, he called me earlier to make sure you and I were coming, and I told him you were. You don’t wanna flake on him, do you?”
You sighed. Your resolve was always diminished when Joshua was involved.
“Fine.” You smiled, imagining Jeonghan celebrating on the other side of the line. “I have to stay back late though, can you bring me a change of clothes? Something comfy though.”
“Got it, I’ll bring dinner and your sexiest ensemble. Bye!”
“Wait-“
Day 7 (cont.)
Just like he promised, at 7:43, Jeonghan showed up at your office door, with your clothes (which were a lot tighter than you would have liked) in a bag and a pizza box in the other. He settled on the other side of your desk as you finished up, and listened as you bitched about the meeting Eunwoo had which lasted a whole 34 minutes, which is insane for what looked like an unscheduled meeting, and were they really going to pick Eunwoo over you? I mean he’s a good lawyer but the pens!
Eventually he managed to get you to stop talking and follow him to his car before driving you over to Sofia’s new place. She had just moved, to a much more relaxed neighbourhood, hence the big party. While you and your friends were close to or had just reached their 30s, with you being on the cusp at 29 (Jeonghan is old and is already in the decade ahead of you, a fact you have mentioned to him several times), Sofia was still in her early 20s, and that was definitely reflected in the party she had set up (with the help of Vernon, who was perpetually stuck at 16). Music was blaring from the house, and you silently cursed Jeonghan for dragging you out. You knew exactly how this party was going to end - with you drunk, having embarrassed yourself in at least three different ways, and passed out somewhere to nurse a major hangover in the morning. At least this time Jeonghan would stay sober, true to his word, and could take care of you. Hopefully that comes with making sure you don’t embarrass yourself, but you wouldn’t bet on it.
You instinctively reached for his hand as Jeonghan led you to the house, and you were reminded of your job. This was a big party, your friends would be there, you had to play the role you were given. Beside you, Jeonghan was reminded of the same fact.
You almost forgot everything as you approached the front door, and saw him waiting for you. Joshua waved you over, and you felt the air knocked out of you as you and Jeonghan walked up and he engulfed you two in his arms.
“I heard you guys finally started going out! Took you long enough to ask them out, Jeonghan.” Joshua’s voice was honey mellow and so soothing, you were sure just like honey it was antibacterial. You hadn’t even entered the house, and you already felt drunk on his touch. Yet your heart seemed to drop at the fact that Josh didn’t seem at all jealous or upset at this development. That’s probably a good thing? But it definitely wasn’t the outcome you wanted.
“We should get Y/N to the kitchen, I’m sure they want something to get their mind off of work.” Jeonghan told Joshua, who let you slip out of his arms as he led the two of you inside the house.
“Tough week Y/N?” Joshua asked delicately, placing his hand on your shoulder, and every worry you had seemed to drain away, only for the reminder of Eunwoo’s closed door to come right back.
“Just feel like I’m putting in effort that will never be recognised.” You grumbled, and leaned closer into Jeonghan’s side. Joshua’s sweet gaze reminded you of your goal: you wanted so desperately for him to be jealous, so you nuzzled your forehead against Jeonghan’s bicep. “Luckily I’ve had my boyfriend here to make everything better.”
You don’t think you could ever get used to that word, and evidently neither could Jeonghan, who felt as though he was choking on air. You felt the vibrations of his discomfort, but Joshua didn’t seem to notice.
“Ahh, young love. Or, I suppose newfound love. I really am surprised you two didn’t start dating earlier.” Seungcheol’s voice suddenly permeated the air, and you watched as he settled next to Joshua, facing you and Jeonghan with a friendly gaze. “You drinking tonight, Jeonghan?”
“Designated driver.” He told him, running his thumb up and down your arm. Jeonghan didn’t miss the way Joshua looked at that small action, and he felt a glimmer of pride under his skin. “I think Y/N will want a drink though?”
“Oh god yes, Seungcheol, will you mix me something? Put those bartender days to use.” You hooked your arm around Seungcheol’s and let him guide you to the drink station (Sofia’s kitchen island which had a cupboard fully stocked with alcohol and mixers).
“Wow, you and Y/N.” Joshua smiled, and Jeonghan grinned coyly at his friend. “Why’d you finally ask them out?”
He stole a glance to you and Seungcheol. You didn’t notice his gaze, and why would you? You were too far away. But you seemed so in your world, like you always had been, something Jeonghan found endearing.
“Just realised I wanted more. Didn’t want to lose them to someone else.”
“As if you would ever lose Y/N, you two are stuck together. Honestly, I was a little jealous of it growing up, they would always pick you over me, guess this is another case of that.” Jeonghan hadn’t realised until now how Joshua’s skin was tinted pink, the blush of alcohol settling over his cheekbones. Was that why he was rambling like this? “But then I realised I had to find my own Y/N, make my own soulmate. Anyway, I’m glad you finally asked them out!”
Joshua stumbled back towards the drink station where you and Seungcheol were waiting for him. Yeah, Jeonghan wasn’t too sure he would be able to make Joshua jealous. But he owed it to you to try anyway. You weren’t always as aware as you wanted to think you were, but Jeonghan was, and he was acutely aware of the way you froze and smiled as Joshua approached you.
Over a decade had passed since you were seventeen, and you were still completely whipped for Joshua Hong.
Jeonghan knew this, he went into this knowing it, but why did it feel different now?
Day 7 (cont.)
Two hours in and you were officially drunk. It didn’t take much - you were out of practise from your days of drinking through the night as an undergrad, and too often your nights our were at charity functions and galas where you had to stay on the safe side of tipsy, and not let loose like you were currently doing.
You had lost Jeonghan a while ago, instead having spent most of the night with Joshua, catching up and taking shots together. He’d been having a stressful time at his own firm, and was happy to accompany you as you drank your worries about Eunwoo and making partner away.
“It’s just so stupid, cause Eunwoo is my age! He’s not more qualified than me, and he’s definitely not a better lawyer than me, cause he steals pens!”
“You mentioned the pens!”
“It’s important!”
You felt a tear roll down your cheek as you drunkenly recalled the events of the day, and before it several more followed. Joshua didn’t notice, you made no sound, but the stress of being at the office for 53 hours this past week only to get no recognition became so overwhelming so quickly, too quickly for your drunken self to register.
“Josh, did you make Y/N cry?”
You barely registered that Jeonghan had walked up to you until you heard his voice, the voice you had been missing for the whole party.
“H-Hannie…” You choked out in sobs, reaching your arms out for him. He obliged, pulling you close to him, letting you cry into his torso.
“Y/N, you’re crying?” Joshua questioned, but you could barely hear him, your face pressed against the fabric of Jeonghan’s shirt. It wasn’t a comfortable position, to cry sitting down into someone’s chest, but right now you weren’t thinking about that.
“Hannie w-where did you g-go, I miss- I missed you.” You sobbed, barely sounding out the words. “St-stupid Eunwoo and h-his stupid pens.”
Jeonghan cooed, running his hand through your hair soothingly. “Maybe we should go home? You need to get to bed. Josh, I’ll see you tomorrow? Say goodnight to Seungcheol for me.”
Jeonghan grasped your hand, pulling you up, and guided you out of the house to the car.
“Why are we l-leaving?”
“You’re way too drunk. Besides, we’re helping set up Wonwoo’s venue tomorrow, better get some sleep.” Jeonghan reminded you, tucking you into the passenger’s seat and clipping the seat belt around you. You hummed, shuffling until you felt comfy, and curled up as close as you could. Your eyes fluttered closed as the car started, and soon you felt yourself dozing off, the salty tears slipping past your lips.
“You’re such a good boyfriend, Hannie.”
Had you not been so drunk, maybe you wouldn’t have said it so easily. Maybe he would have felt more uneasy about the term. He hadn’t even noticed it until you were well and truly passed out, gone to the world.
Day 8 - Saturday 10th November
The streaming sunlight that peeked through your blinds was enough to awaken the deep nausea within you, yet the banging in your head begged you to stay in bed. This was such a gross hangover, and one you hadn’t had to deal with in years.
Who let you drink this much?
With as much strength as you could muster, you stumbled to the bathroom, luckily you had an ensuite, and felt the contents of your stomach escape up and out through your throat into the toilet bowl. The base of your throat burned, and so did your eyes, as more tears threatened to escape over the fiery sensation. You stayed there, waiting for another wave of nausea, when you felt Jeonghan’s hands push back the hair from your face, and rub your back soothingly.
“Why did I drink so much…” You whispered, your voice hoarse and sore.
“You’re just too out of practise, Y/N.” Jeonghan told you, pulling you up slowly. “You need to spend more nights drinking with me and not at the office.”
He handed you a glass of water, which you greedily took from his hands, gulping it down as fast as you could without suffocating, until you went to fast and started coughing it all up.
“God you’re a mess when you’re hungover.”
“Thanks, Jeonghan.”
He grabbed the box of panadol in your bottom cupboard drawer, handing it to you. God, he was far too familiar with your apartment, although you were fairly familiar with his. Well, actually not quite as familiar, because he still has a roommate (and according to Jeonghan, they are necessary for the nicer apartment he lives in on his salary, even though you’ve told him is useless since he spends most of his time here) that you never wanted to bother.
“We have to be at Wonwoo’s venue in three hours, you think that’s enough time to get ready?” You nodded, swallowing the pills quickly.
“That should be enough time for the panadol to kick in.”
“Good, because I’m only being this nice to you until then.”
You frowned mockingly. “Don’t you have to be the sweet and caring boyfriend?” You cringed at the way that word sounded as it came out of your mouth, and watched as Jeonghan did too. “God, I don’t think twenty days is enough time to get used to that.”
“I don’t think a lifetime is enough time.” Jeonghan let himself out of the bathroom, leaving you alone on the tiled floor. “Take a shower, then come and get some food!” He yelled, and you closed the door behind you, terrified of whatever horror he had cooked up (and you used the term cooked very loosely here).
Day 8 (cont.)
It had become a tradition for you to start holding hands with Jeonghan when he would drive you. Somewhere along the car ride, his hand met yours, and they joined, not a word to be said. You didn’t think about it. You wondered if he did.
The venue wasn’t too dissimilar to last week, but it was way cleaner. Once again, you and Jeonghan were separated, sent to do different jobs under the watchful eye of Minghao (and his faithful minions Jun and Jihoon).
“Do you think he gets stressed out or is he just like that?” Sakura whispered to you. She was friends with Wonwoo’s fiance, and wasn’t all too familiar with Wonwoo’s friends. You felt for her, most of the people here were on his side, and you were one of the only people Sakura knew here, having met previously in university.
“Both? He is a little bit like that, but Wonwoo is a close friend, I think he just wants everything to go well.” You told her in hushed breath. “We all want it to go well. Wonwoo is such a good guy, so is Eliza.”
“I know!” Sakura gushed, a little loud but not enough to catch the attention of Minghao. “They’re so cute together, I was so excited when she told me she finally got engaged.”
You smiled, making marks with electrical tape at each measure for Seungcheol to place chairs at later on.
“What about you though? Are you going to get engaged any time soon?”
You gulped, feeling awkward under the heat of her questioning gaze. “Jeonghan and I have only started dating, marriage is so out of the picture right now.”
“Don’t be modest! Chan told me you and Jeonghan have basically been together since high school.”
“That’s an exaggeration.” You told her, not meeting her eyes. It felt so strange, so deceitful, to keep up this lie. Were you a bad person for this? It was harmless, just a little lie to keep Jeonghan from Jiwon, but it followed you everywhere.
“We were just friends back then.” We’re just friends now. “We’ve just always been close.”
“Uh huh, and did you have feelings for him all this time?”
Wrong guy.
“I’ve always loved him.” You told Sakura, and she began to giggle once more.
That one wasn’t a lie. You have loved Jeonghan for a very long time. It’s just always been a platonic, simple love. You wondered if it still was, and then you wondered why it wouldn’t be.
But it was clear that no matter what it is, it was no longer simple.
Day 11 - Tuesday 13th November
“Hello?”
“Y/N! It’s Wonwoo.”
“Oh, hey Wonwoo! What’s up?”
“Nothing, nothing! Look, I know I haven’t been hanging out much-“
“Stop, don’t apologise! You’ve been planning a wedding, and we’re all so excited for it!”
“You’re too sweet, Y/N. Anyway, I wanted to congratulate you and Jeonghan!”
“Oh, you heard?”
“Can’t stop hearing about it. Mingyu was being a little pissy when he found out, kept saying this must have been why you didn’t like him back in year 12, instead of the fact that he face planted into a pool in front of the entire year group two days before he confessed to you.”
“I forgot about that!”
“Don’t worry, I put him in his place.”
“Ahh, thank you Wonwoo.”
“Of course. How did it go, by the way? Who asked who out?”
“Oh, I don’t wanna waste your time…”
“No no! Eliza wants to know too, go on.”
“Ahh, well, we were just hanging out one night and… one thing led to another…”
“My god did you fuck him on your leather couch because that poor piece of furniture has seen more than enough-“
“No! No, we made out, jesus Wonwoo.”
“Sorry, sorry, go on.”
“Wait what do you mean seen more than enough?”
“Okay you didn’t hear this from me but you should ask Soonyoung what he got up to that week two years ago when he was house sitting for you.”
“Oh god oh god...”
“Anyway the story?”
“I’m burning that couch.”
“Moving on.”
“Right, well we realised we both had feelings for each other, so we just decided to go for it.”
“That’s so cute! That reminds me of when we were all in uni, I got this call from Jeonghan in the middle of the night-“
“Sorry Wonwoo, the doorbell’s just rung, that’ll be Jeonghan. Do you wanna say hi?”
“Nah, I should get back to wedding planning. Have a good night Y/N!”
“Night Wonwoo.”
You hung up the phone as your door opened, Jeonghan’s figure standing in the doorway.
“I got kebabs!”
You ran up to rip the food out of his hands. “God I love you.”
He grinned smugly. “I know. Let’s eat!”
“Don’t sit there!”
Day 12 - Wednesday 14th November
cheolie_cherries: you guys are sickeningly cute 🤮 🤮
sunshineseok: about time you started dating!
julijuli33: oh my god he’s actually taken 😭 good for y/n but we lost today
wonworld: congrats guys!!
You couldn’t help but smile at the comments on Jeonghan’s instagram post of the two of you. There was a sneaky one he had taken of you working (which you had called and immediately asked him to take down, and of course he refused), as well as the kiss photo, to really prove the two of you were dating. Looking at it now sent flutters to your stomach. You had never seen yourself like this. Sure, you had dated, but it never really got all that serious, and you weren’t one for PDA, so photos like this were rare. That was probably what was causing this feeling. Right?
“Earth to Y/N.”
You snapped your head up to see Eunchae, your newest paralegal, at the doorway between your office and the hallway, grinning at you with a stack of files in her hand. She walked in, placing them on your desk.
“These need to be checked for errors.” She told you, and you waved her off.
“Got it. Anything else I can help you with?”
“Hmm, you could tell me what it is that’s on your phone making you look so giddy?”
“Nothing!” You quickly yelled, cringing at the volume your voice was raised to. “It was nothing, just having a good morning.”
“Mmm, sure…” She smiled knowingly at you, before walking away, closing the door softly behind her. When you heard the click of the door, you groaned, letting your body fall against the desk. That was too close.
Why were you even ogling? You had work to do, and you would be damned if you spent too long staring at your phone and it cost you the promotion.
They were announcing the newest junior partner next Friday, making the decision at the end of this week. You had to win. So you turned your phone onto silent and placed it face down on the furthest corner of your desk, burying your head into the paralegal’s work. No matter how much it beckoned you back, you would not lose.
Day 15 - Saturday 17th November
When you and Jeonghan stepped into Wonwoo’s venue the Saturday before the wedding, you were practically expecting a fairytale, and that’s almost what you saw. Minghao had dedicated so much time, you knew Eliza and Wonwoo would be so shocked when they finally saw the finished product.
Still, there was much to be done, and with less and less time, everyone was rushing even more to get as much as they could done. This time, you and Sakura were stringing up fairy lights across the pews for the optimal mood lighting, as Minghao called it, and a fire hazard as Jihoon called it (so they compromised to have it on the ceiling above the pews, meaning you had to stand on a 3 decade old ladder while Sakura tried her best to guarantee it didn’t collapse).
You slowly got down from the stairs, guided down by Sakura, when you saw Joshua waiting for you, and you felt your heart beat out of your chest.
“Hey Y/N, can I borrow you for a sec?” He asked, his deep brown eyes looked through you, as if they knew all your secrets.
“Yeah, I mean, Sakura do you…?”
“No, go ahead, I need a break anyway.”
Joshua offered you his arm, to which you took, and he led you to the corridor, secluded, hidden from prying eyes.
“What did you want to talk to me about?” You asked, waiting for Joshua as he glanced away from your view.
“Look, I really am happy for you, I promise,” He began, and you recoiled slightly, holding your elbows. What was he going to say? “But I’m questioning Jeonghan.”
“Like, as a person?”
“No, as a boyfriend.” The word dripped with malice from Joshua’s lips. “Look, I know you’ve only just started going out, but he went out with a lot of people before you,”
“So did I.”
“Yeah but that’s not the point, Y/N. I’m just saying, he’s putting on this whole show of being a good boyfriend, and being faithful and kind, but he never has been before.” You stood there silently, rocking slightly, but it didn’t seem to stop Joshua. “He’s known you practically all his life, he could have had you at any point, why now? And why is he suddenly acting so different compared to his past relationships?”
Joshua put a hand on your arm gently. “I’m not trying to hurt you, but if I were you, I’d be more suspicious of his motives.” He began rubbing circles into your forearm. “I love you, I don’t want to see you get hurt.”
“What about Jeonghan? Don’t you care if he gets hurt?” You asked, your voice barely a whisper.
“He’s not the one I’m most worried about.”
You stepped back, and Joshua’s hand quickly dropped from your arm. “I need to go.”
You turned away, and walked back to the venue before he could say anything.
“Just think about what I said, Y/N!” Joshua yelled behind you, but that was the last thing you wanted to do.
Day 15 (cont.)
You were quiet the rest of the day, feeling more drained from that interaction than the intense physical labour Minghao was making you do (maybe it was the combination of both that killed you). You don’t think anyone noticed, aside from Sakura, who realised you weren’t talking but didn’t say much, but you were terrified of someone else realising, so when Jeonghan approached you with his car keys in his hand you didn’t hesitate to drag him out to the car park before anyone else could follow.
The two of you had been on the road for ten minutes in silence before Jeonghan finally broke it. “Are you going to tell me what’s wrong?”
“Who said anything’s wrong?” You did your best to speak nonchalantly, but Jeonghan didn’t miss the quiver in your voice.
“I’m not an idiot, I can tell when you’re upset.” You were still five minutes from your apartment, you couldn’t dance around it for that long. “Tell me what’s wrong.”
“Joshua pulled me to the side, asked me if we could talk, and then he told me I should be suspicious of you and your motives.” You admitted, looking out the passenger window. You felt choked up. How could he think like this?
“That’s what you’re worried about, Y/N?” Jeonghan questioned, a slight smile on his lips.
“You’re not?”
“Josh has been super stressed at his firm right? It’s cause one of the senior partners was caught embezzling. That, and he’s the only one of us going to Wonwoo’s wedding without a date.”
“Really?”
“Yeah, of course he’s going to act weirdly.” He brushed off your concerns with such an ease you forgot why they upset you in the first place. “Don’t take it to heart, I’m sure he’ll get back to normal soon.”
You breathed out a shaky sigh, feeling your doubts subside and settle.
“It’s cute you were so upset though.” He teased, and you groaned, cupping your face with your hands. “You were so worried about what people thought about me, about your boyfriend.”
“Shut up, Yoon.”
“How can I? My partner cares about me too much.”
“I regret everything.”
He chuckled, stopping his remarks as he watched you calm out the corner of his eye. A secondary realisation as to why Joshua was acting like this was on the front of his mind, but it was nowhere near as comforting. No, this thought was one that was now threatening, and could result in losing you forever.
Jeonghan didn’t want to think about the implications of Joshua being jealous. Instead, he focused on you, and the way you stared out the passenger window.
Day 15 (cont.)
“Have you still got that 12-pack at the back of your fridge?”
“Go nuts.” You told him, kicking your shoes off and lying down on the carpet on the floor. You and Jeonghan had made a mutual decision to pretend the couch wasn’t there until after Wonwoo’s wedding, then you could go shopping for a new one, and until then there was always the floor. “I haven’t been drinking much, trying to just get through this wedding and the promotion.”
“How’s that going?” Jeonghan asked, and you heard the faint pop of a bottle opener from your kitchen.
“They said they would make their decision on who would be the next junior partner by the end of the week, and make the announcement the next week. It’s Saturday now, and I haven’t heard anything, so I know what that means.”
Jeonghan settled next to you, handing you an opened beer bottle and clinking it against his own before taking a swig. “Don’t be too worried, maybe they’ll tell you you’re getting the promotion on Monday.”
“Maybe.”
“You give your everything to that firm. They’d be stupid to not want you as partner.”
“They would be stupid! How’s your boss?”
The two of you spent your evening reminiscing and complaining (two of your favourite pastimes) as you drank more and more, getting gradually more drunk, unlike on the night of Sofia’s party where you got embarrassingly shitfaced way too quickly. At some point in the night, you had cozied up to Jeonghan, and now you were nuzzled up in his arms, too comfortable to even consider moving.
“God, this whole thing is so stupid!” You yelled, throwing your pillow across the room with as much force as you could gather, sending it a few feet ahead of you. “We gotta fake date to get people off your back and onto mine, meanwhile Joshua’s not gotten jealous once and we haven’t even seen Jiwon!”
“Don’t say her name three times, or she’s gonna appear.” Jeonghan told you, wide eyed, taking a quick look around the room just to confirm she wasn’t there.
“Pussy.”
“She’s coming to the rehearsal dinner though!” Jeonghan told you, wagging his pointer finger in the air, making you giggle. “And that’s Friday, so it’s coming up soon.”
“Ahh the rehearsal dinner. What are we rehearsing again?”
“We’re rehearsing how to fake date, Y/N, we’ve been over this.”
“And we have a whole dinner for it?”
“Yes! How kind of Wonwoo.”
You burst into fits of laughter, lolling your head into the crook of Jeonghan’s shoulder as you laughed, and he followed suit. Moments like this were ones where you felt so comfortable with him, like the bubble was intact once more.
“We should start rehearsals now!” Jeonghan exclaimed, grabbing your elbows excitedly. “What do people in relationships do?”
You shrugged, and his arms moved with your shoulders. “I don’t know, you’re basically my first boyfriend.”
“Well you’re the first time I’m being a boyfriend.”
“What does that mean?”
“I don’t know.” He admitted, giggling. The two of you were so far gone, and neither of you had the capacity to realise it. “But I know people in relationships kiss! Kiss me Y/N!”
“Ew gross, you have cooties.” You pushed away his pouted lips.
“No I don’t! I’m vaccinated against cooties!” He whined, pulling you closer to him.
“What if I have cooties?”
“Just kiss me!”
Jeonghan grabbed your face, guiding it to his own, where his lips met yours in a kiss. It was delicate, a kiss for the sake of kissing, and you relished in the feeling. There was a comfort to kissing Jeonghan, a comfort you hadn’t felt for several years. He was comfort, and his kisses were a perfect specimen of that comfort. Kissing him was returning home after a winter’s day.
But decisions were sobering, and the feeling of your lips against his suddenly drained all the alcohol from Jeonghan’s body. He pulled away slowly to see you still half lidded, barely aware of your surroundings. He stole a glance at the clock on the wall, 2AM. Maybe the two of you should end the night here, before you did something you couldn’t go back from.
“Time to sleep, Y/N.”
“Don’t wanna.” You shrugged him off. “Wanna kiss you more!”
Jeonghan chuckled. “Me too. But we can’t.”
As he tucked you into bed, you were already on the verge of passing out, but he was wide awake. Jeonghan found himself hoping the hangover would be a bad one, a distraction from the memories he knew would flood back. He didn’t need to be reminded of how stupid he could be.
Day 16 - Sunday 18th November
Your hangover wasn’t as bad as last Saturday, but you still didn’t feel like dealing with the pounding headache. This time, as you went to wash your face and drink water in the bathroom, there was no Jeonghan to hold your hair back and give you panadol. He wasn’t in the kitchen causing a mess (cooking) either. No, your apartment was strangely quiet without his presence. As the pain in your head began to subside, you checked your phone to see a message sent three hours prior.
Hannie: work emergency - had to leave early. drink lots of water <3
Something felt so off about the message. Jeonghan’s boss was fairly laidback, and he had never had work emergencies that made him go to the studio on weekends. But you were also way too hungover to question it.
You hoped Jeonghan’s hangover had already passed.
Day 18 - Monday 20th November
You called Jeonghan twice. It went to voicemail both times.
Day 19 - Wednesday 21st November
There was a flurry among the paralegals that day. You tried to ignore it, to keep your head down, but the amount of papers flapping in the air made you feel like there was a hoard of pigeons down the corridor. You hated the ‘open door unless in a meeting’ policy at work: half of the lawyers your level didn’t even follow the rule anyway. You wouldn’t have followed it had you not wanted so desperately to show what a good team member you were, and yet here you were, on a Wednesday afternoon, with nothing to show you it.
There was an annoying rap against your open door, and you briefly lifted your head to see Cha Eunwoo leaning against your doorframe. Eugh. Cha Eunwoo. The two of you were in the same cohort: graduated from high school in the same year, graduated from uni at the same time, went to the same law school, and both went straight to Kim-Byun Legal Services, where you’ve spent the entirety of your careers. And throughout law school and now work, you have wanted to beat Cha Eunwoo no matter the cost, and you never managed it.
“Can I help you? I’ve got quite a bit of work to complete.”
Eunwoo waltzed right in, taking the seat in front of your desk. “I have news, but you have to promise not to tell anyone.”
“Do I even get a chance to say no? Not interested?”
Eunwoo was smart. You were smart too, but you liked to think (and Jeonghan liked to tell you) that you were smarter than most of those law students you competed against. Sure, they studied hard, they were good lawyers. But you were quick witted, and they couldn’t keep up. Eunwoo could. If it were anyone else, you wouldn’t be opposed to playing dirty, to pulling little tricks where you could to show him up, but Eunwoo would catch on. The only thing he didn’t seem to notice was how desperate you were to beat him. He never realised the battle you constantly fought, and it killed you. So you had to work twice as hard, three times as much, and play by the rules, just to win a challenge where you were the only one competing.
“I made partner!”
(At this point you stopped writing. This was the first time Eunwoo had ever managed to completely distract you.)
“I’m not supposed to tell anyone before Friday, that’s when they’re announcing it. But I get the new contract this evening, and you and I came in together, I know you would tell me if it was you!”
No shit you would. You would love to act all classy and poised, only to rub it in his face that you won! You did better! But no, Eunwoo won. Throughout everything, this was the first concrete time he’s won, and it’s shattered your reserve. You’re a good actor though, something that helped you get through this job, so you keep your head down.
“That’s great Eunwoo, congratulations. We’ll celebrate properly next week, I’ve got a rehearsal dinner on Friday though.” You met his gaze with a smile, even though there was rage behind it. Eunwoo didn’t seem to notice. “Now, I’ve got to get back to work.”
He nodded, barely containing his grin, shuffling out of your office. “See you later Y/N.”
God you wanted to cry. You wanted to yell and scream, cursing the world, the senior partners, and most of all Cha Eunwoo, who had showed you up once more.Your composure was slipping, a veil that threatened to fall off your head and reveal your facade to the world, but you refused to lose it at work. Instead, you closed the door as gently as you could, and hoped to god that the third time you called him, Jeonghan would pick up.
“Please, please, please pick up…” You whispered, as if you were summoning him.
“Hey, this is Jeonghan. I can’t come to the phone right now…”
Fuck. Voicemail. Once again.
You heard a beep and considered hanging up, but instead decided to send a message.
“Hey, um, I don’t know if you’re just busy, or you’re mad at me, I really hope it’s not the second. I haven’t heard from you in a while. That’s why I’m calling, I guess. Oh, and I’m not gonna be partner. I got passed over for it. Cha fucking Eunwoo made partner. Fuck. Sorry, I’m rambling now. I hope you’re doing okay? You know you can always come to me, but if you don’t want to that’s okay I guess, I’ll leave you be.”
Day 19 (cont.)
When you went home that day to punch your pillows and scream about Cha Eunwoo, the last thing you expected was to see Yoon Jeonghan walk in with chicken and beer as if nothing had happened, which was especially strange, as it was so expected on a normal day. But something was off. Something had changed. You just couldn’t quite put your thumb on what it was.
“Are you mad at me?” You asked, your eyes more glassy than you realised. You could barely see Jeonghan, but you knew he had that stupid damn smile. Right now it was infuriating. “Is that why you disappeared?”
“No, never.” He told you, setting the chicken down on your dinner table. “Things really have just been so busy at work, I’ve barely had time for anyone.”
“But you have time to drop by with chicken?”
“Cha Eunwoo is an idiot compared to you.” Jeonghan told you, opening the can of beer with a hiss. “They missed out on not promoting you.”
You didn’t say anything in response, just stuffing your mouth with chicken. Jeonghan passed you a beer can. “Maybe I shouldn’t. I’ve got work in the morning, and last time we drank I didn’t remember anything after we started bitching about that one actor, Park Sunwoo.”
Jeonghan smiled at you, but you barely noticed, your expression trained on the can in front of you.
“Yeah, I don’t remember either,” He told you. “But one can’t hurt. We drank way too much last time, I’ll keep you in check.”
You shrugged, opening the can, and clinking it against Jeonghan’s. “Thanks boyfriend.” The metal made a satisfying clank noise, and you missed the way Jeonghan looked over at you. Maybe it’s changed, or maybe you’ve been missing it for a long time.
Jeonghan is your blind spot. You didn’t like surprises, you didn’t like feeling caught out, and you would always make sure you weren’t, until it came to Jeonghan. No matter how fast you ran, he always seemed to beat you by a few seconds. No matter how strong you were, he could always lift more. You and Jeonghan both had that same competitive drive, but you could never quite match him. As a teenager it pushed you to be better and better, but you’ve come to accept it. You’ll never beat Jeonghan. That’s why it’s always better to be on his side.
You were observant, but you let your guard down around him. That was how Jeonghan won. He never let his guard down around anyone. He didn’t need to have it up around you, he didn’t keep secrets from you (and you didn’t keep them from him). But he kept everything close to his chest, and he wouldn’t let himself get caught out at any moment.
You wondered if it was hard for him to never reveal himself fully. You knew he still kept to himself around you. It was the only way he could still play tricks, pull pranks, and he loved it. He wouldn’t stay reserved if he didn’t want to. Still, it’s tough to feel like you can never fully reveal your facade.
But there were moments he did. Like tonight, as he tucked you into bed once you fell asleep, and kissed your forehead with a sweetness he didn’t know was there. Maybe he would reveal it to you one day, but all in good time.
You didn’t like feeling caught out. Jeonghan hated it with everything he’s got.
Day 21 - Friday 23rd November
“How are you feeling about seeing Jiwon?” Jeonghan didn’t answer, but the grip he had on your hand tightened as he stared down at the road.
He and Jiwon were a bad match. He knew that, he knew that from the moment they met and she started talking about having a husband around at home to help with the kids one day. Jeonghan knew he could never be that. Sure, he had daydreamed about settling down, raising a family. Jeonghan could never be the husband Jiwon wanted him to be. Could never be the husband he wanted to become. But she was just so pretty, and she would stare down at him with a feverish grin that just made him weak in the knees, how could he say no to her?
So for three weeks, they went out, which for Jeonghan just meant promises of another day he never intended to keep so he could get back to her apartment. But she fully intended on keeping those promises, and soon she was the one setting up dates, and changing her name in his phone (which really freaked Jeonghan out, because, when did she have access to his phone?) to seem more like a girlfriend. Maybe Jeonghan wanted a girlfriend, but he definitely didn’t want to be a boyfriend, and now he was stuck acting one.
Jiwon didn’t believe him when he told her weeks later that they were incompatible. Why would she? She believed every lie that dripped from his lips, and couldn’t wrap her head around why it suddenly changed overnight. She thought he was lying, just trying to keep her away, but a good girlfriend doesn’t give up so easily.
And so began the midnight calls, the uninvited show ups to his workplace or his apartment (Seungcheol definitely had a fun time telling her off, not that it kept her away), and the letters slid under your door begging for your help getting Jeonghan back. This is what led to the whole thing. She seemed to calm down once Jeonghan posted you on his instagram, but neither of you could predict what she would do when she saw you together.
She was Eliza’s sister in law (Eliza’s brother’s wife’s sister, who just had to attend), so her attendance was expected, and you knew it made Jeonghan all the more nervous, especially in the way he would speed round corners. It didn’t frighten you, but worry for your friend escaped you anyway, and you squeezed his hand whenever the car revved.
Jeonghan pulled into the street along Wonwoo’s house, seeing cars littered along the side, and Jeonghan pulled the car into park. You took his hand off the gear shift and brought it to your lips, kissing it comfortingly. “Everything’s gonna be alright. I promise.”
“You promise?” He took a glance at you, and smiled cheekily. “Well what happens if you break the promise? What do I get?”
“I’ll cook you an actually decent brekkie to apologise, not those rubber pancakes you’ve been serving me these past few weeks.”
“Hey! You love those pancakes!”
“The texture is so chewy and terrible Jeonghan, I’m begging you to just use a recipe.”
“I don’t need one.” He huffed, but he never let go of your hand.
You rolled your eyes at his dramatics. Honestly, he was right. You did love the pancakes. Of course, they were way too chewy and tasted of nothing without lashings of sugar and lemon, but you loved that Jeonghan had been making them for you all the past mornings you had spent together.
“Cmon, it’s time to head inside.”
The two of you walked hand in hand towards the door, and you could feel the deep breaths Jeonghan took to calm his pulsing heart. He really didn’t want to cause a scene or do anything to ruin Wonwoo’s rehearsal dinner (or god forbid the actual wedding), but he felt so much more secure with your hand in his.
You weren’t surprised to see Wonwoo’s place completely packed. He and Eliza were having a fairly small wedding, but with the sheer number of family members on Eliza’s side, their starter apartment was bursting at the seams. You held onto Jeonghan as tightly as you could, and still you felt like he was slipping from your grasp.
“Y/N! Jeonghan!” A familiar voice greeted you, and you turned to see Jun greet you. You hugged him gently as he started going on about seating plans (there wasn’t much of a plan, with half of the guests eating off of paper plates on the floor, but Wonwoo had made sure to save his nice carpet for you and a few of his friends). “Don’t worry, the two of you are together, of course. Minghao stayed up all night setting up this seating chart.” You scanned your eyes to see who was attending, and saw most of your friends, minus one.
“Is Joshua here?” You cut Jun off with a worried look. “He was acting really weird last Saturday.”
“Yeah, he’s helping out in the kitchen.” Jun told you, pointing down past the archway to where there was (hopefully steam) pouring out. “He seemed fine to me though, he’s probably over whatever it was. Oh! Mingyu’s just arrived. He’s so late, that goddamn best man should have been here an hour ago! Got to run.”
Jun rushed past you, leaving Jeonghan and you hand in hand in the entryway. Jeonghan turned to look at you. “Is this a I want to see Joshua and flaunt our thriving and perfect relationship at him so he gets jealous?”
You pushed his shoulder. “No. It’s an I think I should be avoiding him thing. I’m still a little shocked by what he told me.”
Jeonghan smiled down at you. “Good luck avoiding him when we’re sitting with him at dinner.”
“What?”
“Yeah, you really have to pay more attention to Jun’s rambles. They often contain useful information.”
You groaned, leaning your head against his arm. He smiled, leading you towards the carpet, where Seokmin and Seungkwan were already seated. You waved a hello towards them, not wanting to remove yourself from Jeonghan’s side.
“God these two are way too cute together.” Seokmin spoke, nudging Jeonghan’s side.
You blushed, hiding your face as much as you could. Jeonghan was almost shocked at your display, you were far too good at playing the doting S/O, but it was working. He watched the way Joshua stared at you from the kitchen doorway. He knew without a doubt from the way Joshua looked over at you how jealous he was. That was what he wanted, right?
After a few minutes of small talk, Joshua eventually sat down next to you (even though there was a free space between to Jeonghan and Seokmin, which Jihoon ended up filling, with his husband settling in next to him) and the rehearsal dinner began. Luckily, with Minghao as wedding planner, there was never a free moment for Joshua to steal your attention. Jeonghan wasn’t sure if you or him was more glad about the fact, but he kept an arm around you at all times, separating your shoulder from Joshua’s.
As the dinner went on, with less formality and more people moving around the space to congratulate the future couple and catch up with old friends, your ‘table’ settled into a comfortable talk. Jun was right, Joshua seemed fine, which only made Jeonghan feel more uneasy. It helped settle your nerves though, and Jeonghan realised your grip on his side had loosened, and you were leaning towards Joshua ever so slightly. No one else at the table would realise, but Jeonghan knew, and he was sure Joshua did too.
“Honestly I’m still surprised Jeonghan actually had the guts to ask Y/N out.” Seokmin said offhandedly, and you looked up at Jeonghan with a cute grin. You were so good at playing the role, but why didn’t it feel like a role anymore? Jeonghan must be losing his touch if he was falling for your act.
Joshua took a sip of his wine, smiling as he spoke. “We all thought you two would never get a date before you realised you liked each other. Good thing you finally manned up to it, Jeonghan.”
Your gaze suddenly snapped towards the crowd. “Why does everyone always assume Jeonghan asked me out?” Jeonghan tensed, and everyone surrounding you looked away from your inquisitive gaze. Joshua opened his mouth to speak, but he was cut off by Jiwon’s commanding presence.
She was so short and petite, keeping to herself, but she walked with such a force that commanded attention. Her eyes were trained not on Jeonghan, but instead focused closely on you.
“And who did ask who out?” She asked sweetly, but you felt your tongue go numb under her gaze.
Jeonghan held you closer to his side, and you settled into him with comfort. “We kissed, and both decided to go for it. It was mutual.”
She hummed, still staring at you. “Well. I’m happy for you two.” And with that, she turned on the ball of her foot, walking away like nothing happened. You let out a shaky breath, and felt Jeonghan do the same. As Seungkwan and Seokmin started hissing gossip about Jiwon, you reached out for Jeonghan’s hand, relishing in the comfort of his touch.
“God she’s terrifying.” You told him in a whisper. “At least it’s over.”
He grinned at you. “Damn, I was looking forward to your breakfast in bed special.”
“You think I’m serving you in my bed? You would spill it everywhere, no way am I cleaning up that mess.”
“You wound me, babe.”
Jeonghan knew Joshua was staring, maybe that’s why when the urge to kiss you overcame him, he took it, placing a kiss on your cheek, as close to your lips as he could get. You let him, only to wonder why well and truly after.
Day 22 - Saturday 24th November
You were awoken by the now familiar smell of Jeonghan’s rubber chicken pancakes, and you followed the smell out to the kitchen.
“How do you always manage to wake up before me?”
“You always sleep in way too late.” He told you, flipping a pancake onto your plate and pushing it towards you. “Last day!”
“Huh?”
“It’s the wedding today. After today, we will no longer be officially dating.”
“Oh, right.”
You didn’t realise how quickly three weeks could pass. There was a strange sense of dread that passed through your system, although you blamed the pancakes. It felt weird that after everything, tomorrow all would be as it was before, as if this whole ordeal never happened.
“We’re gonna have to stage a breakup, of course.” Jeonghan told you, still flipping pancakes. “But we can plan that out tomorrow. In the meantime eat up! We’ll have to leave in an hour.”
You nodded along, feeling too tired to speak so early in the morning (10:30). Jeonghan sat down next to you, shovelling down pancakes as quickly as he could (how he managed to chew through those was a mystery to you) before excusing himself to your bathroom while you continued eating. God, why were these so salty today? Jeonghan’s latest prank, you suspected, but you didn’t have the strength to confront him, especially once you heard the splash of the shower turning on. You began cleaning dishes, not waiting for Jeonghan to finish showering before you stole the hot water, and giggled as you heard his shrieks. Hopefully the wedding would give you a little bit more energy.
Day 22 (cont.)
You and Jeonghan arrived at the warehouse at 11:40. You still had a few minutes before the ceremony would begin, and knowing how these things tended to go, you knew you had plenty of time. You walked hand in hand with Jeonghan, and tried not to think about how this was the last time you would be able to as you settled into a pew. Soon after, Joshua sat down next to you, clearly dateless. He didn’t say anything, and aside from a nod of recognition, you didn’t say anything to him either, instead choosing to rest your head on Jeonghan’s shoulder.
Silence is comforting, whenever it’s done right. With you and Jeonghan, silence never felt awkward, it was just a frame of being with him. It was relaxed, you felt no need to fill the air with meaningless speak. Your silence was interrupted as Seungcheol ran up to Jeonghan.
“Han, we need your help. Wonwoo can’t find his cufflinks, he’s dropped them somewhere, and it is freaking Mingyu out, please come look.”
Jeonghan looked at you, but you smiled. “Go help them. I’ll be right here.” He hurriedly followed Seungcheol to Wonwoo’s dressing room, cursing him under his breath.
You were left alone with Joshua, and the silence suddenly felt suffocating. It didn’t seem to bother him, as he spoke quietly about the venue. “Isn’t it all so gorgeous? Minghao really did a great job pulling this off.”
You hummed, leaning over to point out the fairy lights strung along the ceiling. “See those? That was all me.”
“Ahh, I was wondering. They’re my favourite.”
You smiled, and Joshua turned to face you properly. “I’m sorry about what I said, Y/N. I didn’t mean to scare you. I think I was just jealous.”
Your eyes widened. You felt strangely off guard. “Jealous?”
“Yeah. I just broke things off with Heejin, and then having not dated anyone seriously in, I think ever, Jeonghan suddenly lands a great person like you.” He admitted shyly, squeezing your shoulder with his hand.
“I landed him, too.” You reminded him, but you could barely process what you were saying as you realised he hadn’t moved his hand.
“Of course. You two are good together.” He told you, and you smiled.
“We are.”
Day 22 (cont.)
The pop of a champagne bottle was one you couldn’t miss. As you entered the reception hall, your eyes gravitated towards the bar, and you pulled Jeonghan along with you.
“I can’t believe how many of our friends are married now.” You told Jeonghan as you waited for the bartender to return with your drinks (or water, in Jeonghan’s case. He was determined to stick to his word until the very end). “First Seungcheol, then Soonyoung - who even saw that one coming - then Jihoon and now Wonwoo.”
“We’re getting into that phase of our lives.” He shrugged. “Makes sense to me.”
“Yeah but what about you and me? We’ve never even properly dated.” You pouted. “What happens when they all leave us?”
“Then we’ll have each other.” He told you. “Have you already started drinking? The reception’s only just begun.”
You grinned sheepishly. “We got here late! Anyway, it’s been such a hellish few weeks! Let me have this.” The bartender approached you with a shot glass that you quickly downed, and you pulled Jeonghan to your assigned seats (next to each other, of course). You were greeted by the same table as the night before, and you waved to Seokmin and Jihoon who sat opposite you.
“Where’s Joshua?” You asked, and giggled when Seungkwan pointed towards the flailing figure on the dance floor.
“He’s already drunk and living his best life.”
“Good for him!”
At the mention of his name, Joshua stumbled over, grabbing your hands in an attempt to pull you to the dance floor with him. You looked over at Jeonghan, your boyfriend for only a few more hours, but he waved you off. “Go enjoy yourself.”
You grinned, letting Joshua lead you. Jeonghan smiled as he watched you, his chest tugging with a strange feeling.
“Why’d you let him take Y/N?” Jihoon asked. “You know he likes them.”
The tugging in his chest felt stronger, but Jeonghan ignored it. “As long as they’re having fun.”
It doesn’t matter anyway. They like him too.
Seokmin and Seungkwan eventually joined them, and Jihoon and his husband went dancing as well. Jeonghan instead placed his attention on his phone, flipping through all the stories of Wonwoo’s wedding venue he had been tagged in. There was one, posted by Soonyoung, that he couldn’t seem to tear his eyes from. You were in the corner, next to Jeonghan, and there was something so sweet about the way you stared at him. It was dangerous, convincing him of something that wasn’t real.
“Hey Jeongie.”
Jeonghan looked up to see Jiwon, sat in the seat that once belonged to you. She had that same cat like gaze that made him fall for her initially, but now he felt nothing. He really was bad at committing, he couldn’t even commit to finding Jiwon attractive.
“Hi Jiwon. What are you doing here?”
She cooed, running her hand up and down his arm, much to Jeonghan’s discomfort. He looked away, breaking the eye contact she was trying to keep.
“Did you leave me for Y/N?” She asked, tutting under her breath. “I remember everything you told me, how they’ve never really dated. They’re not partner material, Jeongie, I am.”
“I didn’t leave you for Y/N,” He began, a shiver trailing up his spine. “We ended it because I didn’t want to date you any more. Y/N came after that.”
Jiwon leaned close, her lips barely separate from Jeonghan’s ear, and he couldn’t lean any further back in his chair. “Maybe not for long. They don’t seem to like the way we’re talking.”
Jeonghan tore Jiwon’s hand from his arm, looking to the dance floor to see tears close to spilling out of your eyes. When you met his gaze, you ran away, not willing to let him see you like this. Why did it feel this way? Joshua glared at Jeonghan, and quickly followed you as you ran down the corridor.
“Jiwon just stop!” Jeonghan raised his voice, cringing at the volume (and the heads that turned towards the commotion). “It’s over, just leave me alone, please.”
He ignored her whimpered sobs as he got out of his seat and scrambled to find you, but the sounds of Jiwon crying made him feel awful. He didn’t exactly handle their relationship well, and he wasn’t handling what was left of yours well either.
As he ran to find you, his heard lurched when he heard your own voice muffled by cries.
“It’s s-so dumb…”
“Clearly he was just trying to make her jealous, Y/N.” What was Joshua telling you?
“He wasn’t doing that.”
“You don’t deserve someone who will use you.”
Jeonghan couldn’t deny the guilt those words caused on his poor heart. Sure, you knew what was happening, but he was still using you, wasn’t he? It was his idea to start this whole fake dating thing.
“I wouldn’t use you like that.”
“Josh…”
Just as he had caught up to the sound of your voice, Jeonghan caught a glimpse of you in Joshua’s embrace, with his lips on yours. And his aching heart shattered.
You pulled away from Joshua to see Jeonghan’s forlorn expression, a sight you don’t think you had ever seen before.
“Hannie, I promise, it’s not what it-“
“Looks like? What a cliche Y/N.” He scoffed, moving away from you.
“Hey man, I kissed them.” Joshua spoke, dropping a protective arm over you, one that weighed you down and you wriggled out of quickly. “Besides, serves you right for using Y/N to make Jiwon jealous.”
“You’re so fucking stupid Joshua.” Jeonghan spat. “They were using me to make you jealous, looks like it worked, huh?”
“No, Jeonghan, wait-“
“Deal’s off, Y/N. We’re no longer dating.”
And he ran. And no matter how fast you ran too, you knew you wouldn’t be able to catch up to him.
Day 23 - Sunday 25th November
You woke up on Wonwoo’s couch with a massive headache and chest pain, although you knew only one of those was due to your hangover. He and Eliza ended up taking you home, luckily they weren’t going on their honeymoon for another week. Wonwoo was rubbing your back as you vomited, and the worst pain was knowing that it would never be Jeonghan doing this role anymore.
“I still don’t get it.” He admitted. “Although most of these weeks have been a blur for me.”
“I’m not really supposed to tell you.” You told him, sipping the glass of water in your hands. “We made these rules.”
“Tell me anyway, because no matter what it is it’s not worth losing him forever.”
You sighed, and settled against the tiled floor. “It’s a long story.”
“It’s a Sunday. Quit stalling and tell me what happened.”
“Fine fine!” You gasped, shoving Wonwoo slightly. “So pushy.”
“You know how Jiwon wouldn’t leave Jeonghan alone?” Wonwoo nodded along with your story. “Well, we knew she would be at the wedding, and Jeonghan really wanted her to take the hint that he wasn’t interested, so we decided to date. Well, fake date. Just to get her off his back.”
“And you agreed to this?”
“I didn’t really want to? But…”
“You were in love with Joshua.” You stared at Wonwoo in shock. He smiled back at you. “You’re not as difficult to read as you like to think you are. Maybe the other idiots we call friends can’t see it, but it was fairly obvious to me.”
“But you didn’t realise Jeonghan and I weren’t actually together?”
“Just continue the story already.”
“Well yeah. Jeonghan convinced me we could make Joshua jealous, so I agreed. We said we wouldn’t tell anyone, and we would post about it online so everyone believed it was real, and then once Jiwon backed off at the wedding, we would call it off.” You recalled the story, rubbing your head as the pain settled and you felt like your skull was cracking open. “God do you have any painkillers?”
“I don’t really get hangovers.”
“You lucky bitch.”
“What happened at the reception, Y/N?”
You cringed at the flood of memories. Most of the time when you got drunk and made bad decisions, your brain saved you the embarrassment of remembering everything. This time, you couldn’t escape the images. Of Jiwon and Jeonghan, of the way Jeonghan looked at you, the way he ran away from you.
“Joshua and I were dancing, and when I looked back I saw Jiwon flirting with Jeonghan.” You gulped, feeling an all too familiar lump in your throat. “And I ran off.”
“Why’d you run?”
“I don’t know. And then Joshua kissed me, and I thought it would be perfect, but it felt wrong.”
“Why?”
“I don’t know! And then Jeonghan saw, and I don’t know why but he was so upset, and then he left. He left me, Wonwoo.”
“You really don’t know why he was upset?” Wonwoo questioned, and you met his gaze with a confused expression. “Even after all this time, Jeonghan can still surprise you, wow.”
“What do you know?”
“I know that just like you, Jeonghan is not as difficult to read as he thinks he is.” Wonwoo told you, stroking your hair. “Nine years ago, at 2:30 in the morning, I got a call from Jeonghan, who was so excited because he finally got the nerve to kiss you, and he went for it. And then the next day, nothing. And you two continued this dance around never going out, even when everyone could see how much you liked each other.”
“That’s not true, I don’t like Jeonghan.”
“Then why is Jiwon bothering you? Why did you even agree to this whole thing? There are easier ways to get close to Joshua that don’t involve pretending to date your best friend.”
“I…” For once, you didn’t have anything to say.
“You do know, Y/N. You have to stop acting so blind when it comes to Jeonghan. All the signs are there, you just don’t want to address them.”
He offered you his hand, pulling you up off of the bathroom floor. “Want to know why we all thought Jeonghan asked you out? It’s because we all knew he likes you. It’s actually pretty obvious.”
Day 24 - Monday 26th November
There was a knocking at your door. This wasn’t like Jeonghan’s courtesy knocks before he let himself into your house, this was a gentle knock that barely reverberated through the room.
You walked up to let Joshua into your house. He was shocked to see you like this - tear stricken cheeks, eyes and nose red and running.
“You look…”
“Shit, I know.” You finished for him. “What do you want, Joshua?”
“I wanted to apologise.” He looked over your shoulder expectantly.
“Fine, come in, but you can’t come any further than the entryway. I just don’t want everyone to be spectators of this.”
Joshua followed you in, shuffling awkwardly. He acted as if he had never been in your apartment before. You weren’t entirely sure he had been. You let him shut the door gently behind him, and you leaned against the wall, blocking him from moving any closer in.
“I shouldn’t have kissed you while you were dating Jeonghan. I’m sorry.”
You clicked your tongue, not moving position. “Yeah, that was messed up. You’re Jeonghan’s friend. You’re my friend. I felt like you were just fighting over me to compete with him.”
“Y/N, that’s not true.” He reached his hand out to caress your arm, but you pulled it back.
“What’s even been going on with you?” You asked. “I’ve barely seen you since your breakup, none of us have, and you were a total dick the whole time Jeonghan and I were dating.”
Joshua scoffed, and you gasped at his attitude. “Yeah well you guys weren’t actually together though, right?”
“That doesn’t matter.”
“Yes it does!” He raised his voice as he began to yell. “Why are you upset? It’s not like you were cheating or anything, it wasn’t real.”
“Are you kidding? You didn’t know we weren’t actually together! What’s your excuse?”
“My excuse is that according to Jeonghan, the only reason you were even pretending to date was to make me jealous, and now you’re upset that it worked? I’m jealous. I’m jealous that Jeonghan got to go out with you and play the part of boyfriend, even if it was fake.”
“That’s not the reason.”
“Oh, so you didn’t want to make me jealous?”
He was staring at you with an intensity you hadn’t seen since law school, and it reminded you of the Joshua you once knew. The Joshua you fell for. And as you met his gaze, you realised all your feelings for him were gone. Every desire for him to fall for you like you had fallen for him had dissipated, because you weren’t sure you had ever fallen for him. You loved his drive, maybe that was all you loved.
“I did.”
“So what changed?”
“What do you think, Josh?”
He scoffed, dropping his gaze to the floor. “Of course. Of course I can’t beat him.”
“Joshua…”
“No, just,” He sighed, shuffling away from you. “Why do you always choose him?”
“I don’t, but I’m choosing him now.” You told him, And you were. After twenty two days with Jeonghan, Joshua didn’t feel as important to you anymore.
Joshua turned to leave your apartment. “Josh.” He looked at you, and you met his gaze for the last time. “You should have kissed me all the years I was pining after you, not once I wasn’t an option anymore. Maybe it would have been different.”
He left without another word, and your door shut so gently as he left.
Day 25 - Tuesday 27th November
You hadn’t been blocked. You could still see the messages, you knew he was reading them, he just wouldn’t respond. He wasn’t picking up either.
“Cmon Jeonghan…” You whispered under your breath. “Please just pick up.”
“Hey, this is Jeonghan. I can’t come to the phone right now…”
You groaned at the now too familiar sound of his voicemail. Was he ever going to talk to you again?
Okay, it was kind of your fault. Had it been anyone else, this would have felt so obvious, but you were so oblivious when it came to Jeonghan, and now here you were, pining for your best friend, hoping he would finally return.
“Hey Han,” You started talking, but you had no idea what to say. The only thoughts running through your mind were please just come back to me, but you weren’t sure how to say that without bursting into tears. “I, uh, I really want to talk to you, please. I miss you.”
You hung up, only to find your fingers reaching for the contact once more.
“Hey, this is Jeonghan. I can’t come to the phone right now…”
“Hi again. I want you to know that, umm, I spoke to Wonwoo. He called me an idiot, basically.” You chuckled as you recounted that morning, although you knew Jeonghan probably wouldn’t be laughing as he listened. If he listened. If you two weren’t… wherever this had led you, you know he would probably laugh at that, but he wasn’t here anymore. “I didn’t know. I should have known, but I didn’t, and I just really want to talk to you. Please.”
“Hey, this is Jeonghan. I can’t come to the phone right now…”
“Hey, um, I didn’t like the kiss. The one with Joshua. I think I did kiss him back? But I didn’t like it. I would choose our posed cafe kiss so much sooner than the one he gave me. I don’t even want it. Please talk to me.”
“Hey, this is Jeonghan. I can’t come to the phone right now…”
“It was so stupid of me to be jealous of Jiwon. I know you don’t like her, I just, I was so drunk and stressed out, I freaked out. It was so so stupid, and I’m sorry, but I hope you know that it was jealousy because I wanted to be in her place. God, this is so embarrassing.”
“Hey, this is Jeonghan. I can’t come to the phone right now…”
“I don’t think I like Joshua? I know, drastic turn. I think I just looked up to him, growing up. He’s always been so out of reach and ahead of everyone else, I think I mistook it for love when it wasn’t. I don’t love him.”
“Hey, this is Jeonghan. I can’t come to the phone right now…”
“I know I fucked up. Well, Joshua fucked up most of all, but I shouldn’t have run off like that. But you ran too. You didn’t let me explain. And last week, you disappeared. I know you said you were busy but it felt like you were running from me? And I fucked up because I ran, so you’re no better than me.”
“Hey, this is Jeonghan. I can’t come to the phone right now…”
“Please ignore what I just said. I’m not upset with you. Well, actually, I am. I think I’m mostly upset with myself? Or mostly upset with Joshua? But I’m still a little upset with you. Please can we just talk?”
“Hey, this is Jeonghan. I can’t come to the phone right now…”
“I’ll leave you alone after this one, I promise. I just… I miss you. And I think I need an explanation, because I’ve been clueless about this for way too long.”
“Hey, this is Jeonghan. I can’t come to the phone right now…”
“I love you. In every sense of the word.”
Day 26 - Wednesday 28th November
You felt so strange in front of Jeonghan’s door. Although he spent so much time with you in your house, very rarely would you visit him in his. You and him would always blame his roommate, but truthfully you knew it wasn’t that. Even though Vernon wasn’t the tidiest or most respectful of privacy, you were happy when he was around. No, Jeonghan’s house was a barrier between the two of you, a final wall he had placed to protect himself. And now you were destroying the that sanctity.
You almost felt bad, but you were so desperate for him to talk to you again. Sure, the two of you had arguments, but nothing like this, and you weren’t sure that without drastic measures, you would ever even see Jeonghan again. So here you were, your knuckles rapt against Jeonghan’s door, waiting to see him.
The door swung open, but Jeonghan wasn’t there. Instead stood Vernon, who looked like he had only rolled out of bed at the sound of your knocking. Honestly, had it been true, it wouldn’t have surprised you, despite it being 8:30 in the evening. You had no idea what this boy’s schedule was, if he even followed a set one.
“Oh, hey Vernon.”
“Hey Y/N.’
You shuffled on your feet. You and Vernon were friends - you practically grew up together, why did this feel so awkward?
“Cool party, by the way.” He cocked his head in confusion. “Sofia’s party! Two weeks ago, I know you helped her set it up. It was fun, from what I remember, Jeonghan dragged me along to it and I got very drunk very quickly.” Okay, you were rambling now. That helped. “Speaking of, is he here?”
“He?”
“Jeonghan? Is he home?”
“Nah, he’s um..” Vernon trailed off, and you cringed. Clearly he had told Vernon to ward you away. “He’s staying back late at work. Do you, do you want me to tell him you were here?”
You sighed, feeling your shoulders slump. “Don’t bother. Have a good evening, Hansol.”
“See you around Y/N.”
Vernon let the door shut in front of him, He hated lying, and unlike his roommate, he was absolutely terrible at it.
“If Y/N comes, just tell her I’m out.”
Jeonghan wouldn’t talk to Vernon. He barely spoke to Seungcheol, who was dropping by every night to check up on his friend. He hadn’t seen him for more than a few minutes every day as he left for work and stumbled back home afterwards. All Vernon could hope for was that you solved your issues with him soon. A grumpy Jeonghan was a nightmare, a heartbroken Jeonghan was a ghost.
Day 27 - Thursday 29th November
Eunwoo’s office had been mostly empty for a few days now, but today he picked up the last two boxes to take to his new office, a floor above. Instead of seeing his smug face across from your office door, all you saw was a clean desk, no files or loose papers across the surface like there had been before. It felt like a cruel reminder of what you were so close to gaining. Partnership. Jeonghan. You couldn’t tell which was making you more depressed currently.
You barely noticed when Eunchae walked up to your office, knocking gently against your open door. “You alright, Y/N?”
“Hmm? Yeah I’m fine Eunchae. Can I help you with anything?” You spoke, not lifting your head to meet her gaze. You didn’t want her to see the bags that had formed under your puffy eyes. It’s hard to fall asleep these days.
“I just wanted to say you should have been the next junior partner, not Eunwoo.” She barely whispered, and you understood why. The office behind her was practically haunted by Eunwoo’s cheery spirit. “He’s a good lawyer, but he barely pays attention to us and the newer lawyers. You take good care of us.”
You smiled at her words. “Thanks Eunchae.”
She walked in, letting the door close behind her. You had given up all pretence of following the dumb rules like commandments, and Eunchae caught on quick. “That’s why you’ve been so sad this week, right?”
“That’s.. half of it. How have you noticed?”
She shrugged. “I’m smarter than they are. What’s the other half?”
“Boy troubles, I guess.”
She leaned in. “Is this about your boyfriend? The one you posted on insta?” You nodded, and she smiled, pleased with her detective skills. “What happened?”
“He didn’t tell me he liked me until too late, and now I’m realising that I like him too, but he won’t talk to me.”
“I’m sorry, why doesn’t your boyfriend already know you like him?”
“It’s a long story.”
“Okay..” She trailed off. “Have you told him how you really feel?”
“Yeah, but he won’t talk to me anyway.”
“Tell him again.” She advised. “People are stupid, they don’t believe what’s right in front of him. What have you got to lose, anyway?”
Day 27 (cont.)
“Hey, this is Jeonghan. I can’t come to the phone right now…”
“I don’t want to fill your inbox, so I swear, if you don’t respond to this, I’ll leave you alone forever. But god I’m going to miss you if you leave. You’re such a heartbreaker, Hannie, you’re about to break mine. I’m in love with you. I’m sorry it took me so long to see it. Please just, let me know if you feel the same, or if everyone was wrong. I guess if I don’t hear from you again I’ve gotten my answer. I.. Goodnight, Jeonghan.”
Day 28 - Friday 30th November
You hadn’t heard anything from Jeonghan. All night, you stayed up, staring at your phone, hoping it would light up with a call, a text, anything. God, you would even settle for a subtweet, but nothing. When 5AM hit and the light of dawn peered in through your blinds you had given up. Jeonghan wanted nothing to do with you.
You called in sick to work. It wasn’t difficult, crying will make you sound all stuffy and blocked. You hoped the sniffles that slipped from your lips weren’t understood as what they truly were: forming scars. Whatever, it gave you an excuse to stay in bed all day.
You kept your promise, not to bother Jeonghan again, but couldn’t find it in yourself to delete conversations or photos. Your heart was shattered, and the pieces were lost deep in the text messages he sent, you couldn’t delete them so easily.
You made one phone call, to Wonwoo, when you woke again at 5PM.
“He hates me, Woo. I think I lost him forever.”
“If that’s really the case then he’s an idiot. Just like you.”
You felt no desire to reach out to anyone else, or let anyone know you were alive. You didn’t feel alive. All you wanted was to sink into your mattress and hide from the world. The blankets covering your face would have to do in the meantime. It was a weak shield, but you were hidden all the same, and that’s all you needed.
Someone came to check on you earlier, or perhaps it was just your neighbour. You heard the knocks, but pretended no one was home. They left quickly. You felt so forgettable, so discarded. What a pathetic existence.
9:21 PM flashed across your phone screen, but you didn’t seem to notice it. It was silenced on your kitchen counter, far away from you, because you knew if you kept it nearby you would do something stupid. And you were careful. You needed to be even more careful than before, now that you were nursing a broken heart.
When the knocks on your door sounded you hid even further away. They would go away, they all did. And the knocks did subside, replaced instead by the clink of keys. Fuck, was it your landlord? What was he doing here? The door opened, and you pulled the sheets tight over your head. Hopefully he would just leave.
You heard footsteps slowly lead to your room. Fuck, was this a home invasion? Maybe you should be more scared, but you couldn’t find it in you to do anything but stay in a frozen position. Your bedroom door creaked open, and you felt your heartbeat in your eyes.
This was it. You were going to die, and you couldn’t even see Jeonghan one last time before some stranger took you out in your own home. Well, the apartment you had rented for years. God, you were almost thirty, and you were about to die alone in a starter apartment you never bothered to leave. Why was this world so cruel?
“Y/N.”
Fuck. It wasn’t your landlord. It was Jeonghan. Somehow, when being confronted with the person you’ve been trying to reach for days, your confidence disappears.
“I know you’re not sleeping, Y/N.”
Maybe if you didn’t respond he would go away? Did you even want him to? Why weren’t you doing anything?
“I saw you left your phone in the kitchen. You’ve got a voicemail, by the way. It’s from an hour ago. I’m gonna play it for you, okay?”
“Hey Y/N. It’s me, obviously. I um, you’re right. I shouldn’t have run away. I was being a coward. I’ve been a coward the entire time we’ve been friends, because I don’t know when, but at some point I feel so hopelessly in love with you and I’ve been hiding it this entire time. Fuck, I really need to see you. Can I come over?”
Your protective sheets were pulled from your head, and you were met with the sight of Jeonghan, who’s eyes were as puffy as your own. He smiled down at you.
“You look like shit.”
“So do you.”
“Yeah, well, I was heartbroken.” Jeonghan grinned as he spoke. God, he was so beautiful. “I thought my best friend who I’ve loved for years didn’t love me back.”
You sat up, reaching for Jeonghan’s hand, which he gladly gave you. “Why didn’t you ever tell me before now?”
“Had to protect my fragile heart.” He told you, locking into your eyes. You were frozen in place once more. You had never once thought of Jeonghan as fragile, yet here he was, baring his soul to you, like a glass canary had been placed in your hands. “I was so content to just hide it all my life, watch as you fall deeper in love with Joshua, and then I discovered I really loved being your fake boyfriend. I never thought I would enjoy being a boyfriend, but something about being with you makes it so easy.”
All the walls you swore you would put up had been torn down by Jeonghan before you could even begin construction.
“Besides, what exactly was I supposed to think when you hated our first kiss?”
You gasped. “I didn’t hate it! We both agreed it felt weird the next morning.”
“Sure, I definitely thought that, and wasn’t just agreeing with you to save myself the embarrassment of rejection.”
You cringed as you thought of that fateful day. “I don’t know Hannie, when I woke up that morning things felt as if they had changed, and it scared me.” You blushed, feeling regretful of your naivety. “I was so scared of things changing for the worse I never considered that they could get better.”
Jeonghan’s hand met your jaw, pulling you towards him with such a sense of nostalgia. “What about now? Are you still scared?”
“A little.” You whispered. You didn’t need to say it any louder, you knew he could hear you. “But I don’t want my fears to hold me back any more.”
“Oh yeah? Show me.”
You rolled your eyes at Jeonghan, before doing exactly that, and capturing his lips with your own. No fireworks, no eruptions. Kissing him was the comfort you had craved for years. Jeonghan was your home.
You pulled away from him, letting your eyes flutter open. “That count as proof?”
He hummed. “I don’t know, why don’t you show me again?”
“You’re such a loser, Yoon.” You teased, but did exactly as he wanted.
Day 1 (of forever to come) - Saturday 1st December
This past month had no shortage of you waking with Jeonghan in your apartment, but this was the first time you had woken up beside him, arms tangled together. Your phone was buzzing incessantly under your pillow, and who thought it was a good idea to interrupt your sleep so early in the morning?
Oh, Wonwoo. You should probably give him peace of mind, after everything he’s done for you.
“Hello?” You spoke groggily, trying as best as you could to whisper so as to not wake Jeonghan, still asleep next to you.
“Y/N? Have you seen Jeonghan recently? I know you guys are fighting, but Vernon told me he left last night without saying anything and he’s still not back yet, it’s already 10.”
“Wow, Vernon’s up early on a Saturday. I’m not even out of bed yet.”
Wonwoo hissed through your speakers. “Take this seriously! Your best friend is missing!”
Jeonghan stirred, and before you could say anything, he spoke instead. “Y/N, tell your friend to hush, I’m trying to sleep.”
You stayed silent, and Wonwoo was silenced too.
“Is that…”
“Yeah, he’s here with me. He’s not missing, you can tell Vernon he’s alright.”
“Holy shit! He’s in bed with you?”
“He stayed the night…”
“Get it.”
“Shut up Wonwoo.”
Jeonghan reached his hand over to you. “Lemme talk to him.” You obliged, handing the phone to him.
“Hey Wonwoo, no nothing happened. Well, Y/N confessed their undying feelings for me and told me how incredibly attractive and sexy I am and how I’ve ruined anyone else’s love-“
“JEONGHAN!”
“Yep gotta go, bye Wonwoo!”
You snatched the phone from Jeonghan, only to see the call had already ended. “You snake! Stop badmouthing me to our friends!”
He gasped in mock offense. “Bad mouthing? Never! That’s basically what happened last night, anyway.”
“You’re missing the part where you confessed first.” You reminded him, pushing against his arm, but he resisted your force, instead wrapping his arms around you and holding you as you squirmed. “Let go of me you weasel.”
“Weasel? Are you gonna pay for the damages you’re causing my heart?” He pouted, and you wanted to badly to shove (kiss…) that pout off his face.
“More like ego.”
“Wonwoo has always known how incredibly whipped I am for you, he doesn’t need a reminder.” Jeonghan whispered above you. “Do you?”
You nodded slyly. “You’ve got a decade of reminders to make up for hiding this from me for so long. You better get cracking.”
Jeonghan leaned over to kiss your forehead. “Why rush it? We’ve got the rest of our lives, and I’m going to make sure you never forget just how much I love you.”
AN: i think this is the first time i’ve ever written a happy ending but goddamn i love this fic
+ read the university kiss scene here!!
#caratwritersclub#seventeen fic#jeonghan fic#fake dating au#seventeen fake dating#svt fluff#svt scenario#jeonghan scenario#svt angst#seventeen angst#jeonghan angst#seventeen friends to lovers#yoon jeonghan#joshua#joshua x reader#jeonghan x reader#jeonghan x you
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TF141 reaction to reader doing a russian reload?
This is really hilarious to me because I done bots for character ai on Ghost, Price and König reacting to you doing the Russian reload. Anywho!
John Captain Price
Price didn’t see it at first, he thought nothing of it until you did it again. It clearly surprised him, he wasn’t never told you had Russian roots.
He does question you, like a lot. Price develops this trust issue, since he has been through a lot already and that added to it. Price does try to maintain calm near you but finds it impossible knowing you might be hiding other things from him and the team.
If you are a Russian spy he would immediately turn you in. No questions asked, he can’t risk the men on his team. It would be hard for him to come to terms you were a spy. Someone that couldn’t be trusted, over so much bonding time.
If you weren’t a Russian spy but somehow How knew how to reload the guns like that. price would take you out the habit and make sure you never do it again. If you do, he slightly lectures you.
“Y/n.. please know I’m doing this for your own good.” Price says, his hands on his hips. “It’s has to.. reload like that. Especially in abase with a British and Americans here..”
“Sorry..”
Kyle Gaz Garrick
Kyle, well he knew something was off about you the moment you stepped into the base. Your form to do this seemed out of place to be British, your accent was.. too strong. More forced than Ghost, Price and himself. He didn’t want to tell anyone when he saw you reload the gun.
Kyle wasn’t sure if he saw it correctly, but finally managed to talk to you. Started to ask you, pressure you into answering if you were Russian. Having a past with Russians he starts to feel off of around you, Kyle starts making big distance between you and him. Price catches on and asks Kyle what’s happening.
Kyle rats you out to price, which he felt bad about. He didn’t want to make your life hell, for you to be locked up in an interrogation room. If you did turn out to be Russian spy all that guilt would go away, immediately.
If you weren’t Russian and you just had a habit of reloading your guns he would feel terrible. To the point he would apologize none stop, when you two crossed paths. He would try to help you out to get out the habit of reloading guns like that. Kyle wanted to make sure no one else made the same mistake he did.
“..Y/n Im so sorry it’s just.”. Kyle pauses and takes a deep breath. “I.. assume you were..”
“..It’s okay..” You reply patting his arm. “We can later look back at this and have a good laugh..”
John Soap Mactavish
Soap would be minding his own business in the firing range. He didn’t expect less or more from you, Soap never really payed attention to anything. Yet that one day he did, he saw you reload. It wasn’t just a silly mistake, oh no no you fully reloaded every single time the same.
Soap would waste no time and handcuff you with zip ties. He would embarrase you by dragging you out, saying ‘got myself a Russian.’ Little did he know those words would he the death of your career. Price would take you away for interrogation, Soap would try to go in the room to see you but Price wouldn’t let him.
If you were a Russian spy he would feel some sort of guilt for exposing you. All that joke turned out to be true, and now he is torn between being glad he caught you or.. sad that he did.
If you weren’t a Russian spy and like the past others told them that you have a habit or reloading guns like that. My guy.. he would feel like the worst leader/Sargent, he almost ruined your career before even asking you why you reloaded like that. He would do anything opening doors for you, giving you small gifts/candy to make up for his mistakes.
“..Y/n Im so sorry..” Soap says shaking his head. “I should have asked instead of..”
“It’s okay.. I suppose..” You mumble and sigh. “I don’t like mint chocolate..”
Simon Ghost Riley
Ghost always had this suspicion of you, when he saw you reload the gun. He immediately has all his suspicions confirmed. Like soap he didn’t waste no time, he put zip ties on your wrist and dragged you to Price office. Ghost felt disgusted knowing you been lying and possibly have been a rat on their missions.
Ghost always has a grudge against you. The others didn’t know why, but as soon as he told them what you did. It clicked, Ghost guy has been telling you were bad news to the base, possibly a rat. He didn’t even bother to let you explain yourself. Ghost would be the one that interrogate you, no questions asked.
If you were a Russian spy, he would have to hold his anger back. Knowing his gut was right, and him rejecting it. Price would have to take him out the room and let yourself turn yourself in. Ghost wouldn’t even want you to live at the point, all he saw red..
If you weren’t a Russian spy he would deny it. Ghost wouldn’t drop it all, forcing you take a lie detector test over and over. Until he finally saw you were telling the truth. Ghost after that would put a lot of distance between the two of you. He hated that he almost harmed you, almost made you break under his ways. Ghost wouldn’t apologize in any way, he would just.. stare at you for long periods of times regretting his mistake.
#cod fandom#simon ghost riley#cod#cod fanfic#cod mwii#cod x reader#cod x you#john soap mactavish#kyle gaz garrick#captain price#cod soap#captain john price#cod ghost#john price#cod gaz#cod price#Simon ghost
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Rented You Out - Part 5
Previously…
Denholm and Markus were on their way to their client when they discovered a bodysuit of a man who disappeared a year ago. They decided to keep the suit and see what happened to the man and how he ended up being a lifeless suit in a box from a strange janitor.
—————
“So, what are we gonna do with him?” Markus said.
“I think I should wear him.” Denholm said.
“What?? But.. that wouldn’t make sense.. A suit cannot wear another one! You might risk yourself getting hurt!”
“But I’m not fully a suit! I want to live this man’s life to give it proper closure!” Denholm argued and grabbed the suit’s legs.
“Well.. here goes nothing.” He starts putting on the suit by opening the back zipper. There, the deflated biceps of the guy became chiseled, the veins in his arms bulged out, and the legs became more bolder. As he puts on the mask, his chest started puffing out, and the perfect jawline appeared out of the face.
Sweating, he pants and turns around to Markus, and Markus was in awe.
“Did it.. did it worked?” Denholm said in a new sexy Vietnamese accent.
“Damn your voice… it’s so baritone and suave!!” Markus’ sex drive was driving him insane.
“Well he is ripped. I’m sure he spent a lot of time building this perfect bod.” Denholm said as he looked at himself in the mirror. His now black hair, brown eyes, piercings and earrings, and tattoos gleamed out.
“Ok then, you do what you gonna do to that body, I’ll just take over your student council duties for today.” Markus said as he left.
“What’s this?” Denholm noticed Markus dropped a bag with panties in it.
“But I thought he was gay…” He added while looking confused.
Denholm scourged through the guy’s memories to see what his past life had looked like. His name was Vince Long, a Vietnamese-American who was born from a wealthy family, and an alumni from the same high school as him. Vince was a top-tier student with straight-As, and to top it off, he had a hot girlfriend. They were the perfect couple, and the happiest one, until Vince suddenly disappeared.
One night after their 2nd year anniversary, Vince and his girlfriend Aurora left the restaurant at night to head home, when suddenly a white van appeared from the dark and took Vince and Aurora in. To her surprise, Aurora was spared by the men and left alone, she was left scarred and in pain to this day.
As for what happened with Vince next, Denholm couldn’t dig into any more memories, as the load must have stopped once he was turned into a full bodysuit.
“Could Aurora been also spared and left as a half-bodysuit like me?”, Denholm questioned as he looked through the pictures in Vince’s home.
It’s been a year since Vince’s disappearance , and his flat has been maintained by his family’s staff in honor of him. Denholm puts down his bag on Vince’s bed and looks in the mirror.
“You know what… maybe I should have a little bit of fun first”, Denholm says as he takes off his shirt and starts squeezing Vince’s hardening cock.
“Oohh… haven’t tried this in a while to be honest..” Denholm whispers as Vince’s sexy deep tones come out of his mouth.
“Ahh yes.. I’m Vince the engineer.. come here baby.. the fuckboy’s gonna unleash all his cum to you..” Denholm was shocked that even the way he speaks resembled very closely to Vince’s. The months long abandoned bedroom of Vince has been blessed not by holy water, but with his fresh loaded cum that hasn’t been released since 2022. Denholm lies down in bed in satisfaction as he tastes Vince’s long-expired cum.
Suddenly someone knocked on the door. Denholm got dressed and answered it, and to his surprise, it was Vince’s parents, Mr and Mrs Long waiting for him. They held tight his son while they burst into tears.
“We’ve looked for you everywhere! We miss you so much!” Mrs Long said as she hugged her son.
The parents took him back to their family mansion where they had a Thanksgiving Prayer with a reading on the Prodigal Son, to celebrate’s Vince’s homecoming.
Then, Denholm filed an official statement regarding Vince’s kidnapping to help solve the people responsible for the his kidnapping and the others as well. A joint investigation took place while Denholm gave the police more details about a “bodysuit factory”.
After the party was over, Denholm went home to Vince’s place, where he saw Aurora.
“Babe… babe is that you?!?” Aurora started tearing up and ran up to him.
“I missed you so much…” ‘Vince’ said in shock while he hugged his girlfriend.
The two shared a romantic kiss and embraced each other with the reunion. For Denholm it felt like he gave Vince the closure he needed, but he cannot live as Vince forever.
Aurora made the next move. She dragged Vince up the stairs and the two started undressing.
Excited, Aurora undresses herself and undresses Vince’s long sleeve, and his tank top.
He revealed his white Calvin Klein boxers while his cock barks back at her as he starts to get very horny.
“This is… wrong.” Denholm whispered as he started grabbing the sheets. “Babe.. what do you mean? I missed you so much!!” Aurora was biting her lips.
“Your breath… your armpit hairs… your leg hairs… your Amazon rainforest in your cock… every single inch of you I am craving right now.” Aurora was starting up the engine.
“Oh I miss doing this.” Aurora said while she touches Vince’s abs. “Babe.. maybe we should slow down.” Vince tried resisting. “Oh fuck this. give me that!” Aurora ripped his boxers wide and revealed the arching cock that she’s been craving for.
Aurora then starts teasing his manhood until it did a standing ovation. They then started kissing mouth to mouth and rolled on the bed, knocking over the bed sheets.
Vince’s mouth started watering as he grabbed Aurora’s breasts to drink her milkshake. He gave her clitties a blessful kiss, and he started inserting it in. The hole kept declining though, like a debit card refusing to be read by an ATM.
She then licked his ass, with the expired butt hairs electrifying out like that one Nair video.
“Why not repair my ass? Civil engineering? Fuck that.. engineer this pussy.” She started cracking up.
“What the fuck is this woman on?” Vince started to get so scared. She then resisted him pulling away and she bited his pecs. He screamed faintly like a little girl but felt delighted and rubbed her back again.
“You know what…? Let me fold you like a fucking pretzel.” Vince grinned. She screamed out loud as he bent her back and put the funnel into the bottle opening. She screamed and screamed and screamed. They were both suffocating in each other’s saliva, cum and seemingly piss. They were banging the walls and even squeezed themselves in the closet. She was freaking out as he chased him down the halls, both naked.
They Netflix and chilled, he pulled her many times to kiss her, and she rubbed his pubic hairs like petting their Shih Tzu Tracy. It was a very immaculate and blessed moment.
They did various poses! Doggy, cowboy, missionary, and our favorite, 69. They did it and did it until they got sweaty and started panting.
Aurora slurps out Vince’s loaded manhood like she’s slurping out a big bowl of ramen. She giggles as his load explodes out of her face, and she kneels down as he starts inserting his rubbery dick into her rubbery pussy. (Hold on… rubbery pussy..?, We’ll get there later on.)
Vince was making sure the zipper at the back of his neck wasn’t opening out as he exerts extra pressure against Aurora in bed. They both giggle as Aurora licks Vince’s smooth sweaty abs and she starts biting them. Vince screamed out but it didn’t hurt as much as he expected, it felt like he got bit by a dog while wearing a silicone rubber pants.
“Let’s do it again.” Aurora said while running out of breath. They initiated their sacred rituals again and again throughout the whole night. Fuck me ‘til up daylight indeed.
As Vince and Aurora finally covered themselves under the sheets, they both rest and as they cuddle each other, not knowing something behind there was opening up. Let me turn it into a saying, Don’t leave the fridge open at night.
Both drenched in sweat, Vince goes to the bathroom to get toilet paper to clean up the exploded fluids in his room. But something was wrong. The zipper opened a little bit, and was stuck.
Aurora then discovered this and just stood there as if she knew this whole time that he was a bodysuit.
“Babe.. it’s not what it looks like.. I promise.” Vince was in shock and started shaking.
“I- um.. I no… no..” Aurora was also nervous. she turned around to look away, but then it was another jaw-dropping moment: her zipper was also opened, she thought it wouldn’t get exposed but the bra she had just put on wasn’t enough to conceal it.
“What…?? WHAT?!?” Vince tried grabbing Aurora’s arm but she ran as fast as she could and fled the scene.
Denholm chased her down to the garage, but the bodysuit was starting to melt as the zipper had been exposed. He tried unzipping himself a few more tries, and managed to get out of Vince’s body.
Denholm now ran to the garage door but Aurora had locked it. Denholm tried breaking in, using everything he had on the house to reach the inside.
Denholm figured out that he could simply open the front garage doors and catch her in the act, so he pushed the button and the front garage lifted upward and he rushed inside, but it wasn’t what he was expecting, never at all expected what it was.
He took a step closer but to his surprise, Markus was there, seemingly apprehending the now-empty Aurora suit.
“Markus what the fuck are you doing here?!??” Denholm freaked out.
“I.. I don’t know! I just found this body snatcher somewhere and I followed her to this home! I didn’t know this was your bodysuit’s home!” Markus said.
“Dang it. FUCKKKKK!!!!!” Denholm let out a very loud scream as he started kicking the nearby objects. He was angry. He was FURIOUS.
“I think this suit is also like you, Denholm. I think she was also spared because she’s not hollow right now, she has a pulse.” Markus said.
“Well we better drive her home safely then. I’ll also take home Vince and keep it in our property.” Denholm said as he started the car to head home.
As he headed out, a nervous grin and a blush came out of Markus.
“I wonder if he’ll ever know…”
(17 Hours earlier…)
Aurora: “Yes, yes that would be 45.99 for the jeans.”
Customer: “Ok, I’m paying by credit. I really love your local boutique!”
Aurora: “Thank for you shopping here! This boutique means a lot to me as me and my late boyfriend invested a lot on it!”
Markus then walks in while wearing a face mask and sunglasses.
Aurora: Hi welcome to Beautiful Botanica Boutique— AHHHHHH!!!
Aurora let out a loud scream and passed out.
Markus: Welcome.. and goodbye bitch.
Markus laughed maniacally as he lifted Aurora and unzipped her back, which transformed her into a bodysuit.
He then started sliding his legs into her more smaller ones, causing a huge stretch on the suit. Her body also expanded wide as Markus’ masculine torso squished in to fill in the void. Soon once Markus put on the mask, the suit realigned and formed itself: The legs started to shrink into a more feminine physique, and the waist significantly decreased and compressed Markus’ body. It was uncomfortable for him but it was all worth it. His new breasts also grew out to his desire. Markus looks into the store’s mirror.
“Hi welcome to Beautiful Botanica Boutique!” He said in a new feminine high-pitched voice.
“Hey Vince.. hey baby… hey… Denholm.”
She said while she seductively stares into her reflection, and giggled. She packed up her stuff and left to go to Vince’s place.
— TO BE CONTINUED —
#male body possession#male bodysuit#male tf#male to female possession#mtm swap#mtf tf#male bodysuit tf#male to female bodysuit#male transformation#male muscle suit tf#male to male possession
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Down Under | Alex Turcotte
summary: coming to Australia, Alex meets one person he didn't think he’d see. The girl of his dreams.
request: yes/no
warnings: allusions to smut but nothing explicit, swearing, mentions of drinking.
word count: 1.38k
authors note: I had no clue what I wanted to do with this one but I wrote it at 4am with two red bulls in my system and I had one request asking for some Alex in Melbourne content and another request asking for the idea of this imagine… sort of liked it, sort of didn’t… also Australia is in the southern hemisphere for those who didn’t know so they are going into spring/summer now.
As you and your friends had no lectures tomorrow, tonight you were letting loose.
The warming Melbourne air forced you to wear one of your shorter dresses which was something you weren’t complaining of with how sweaty the bar was feeling “I’m going to get another drink!” You called out to your friends who nodded.
From the other side of the bar Alex hadn’t taken his eyes off of you. As the boys were given the first night in Australia off they all decided that it was going to be their last time to have a few drinks before the season fully started “go talk to her!” Tobias laughed as though it was the most obvious thing for the Turcotte boy to do.
Alex’s eyes went wide as he turned his attention away from you “it wouldn’t work,” Alex shook his head as he thought about this logically. You clearly lived here based on your thick Australian accent accompanied by how you seemed close to the bartender “that’s next weeks problem.” Jordan shot back as he could assume what his teammates worries were about.
As you tapped your fingers on the counter waiting for your drink Alex nodded to himself “I’ll see you guys later,” the boys let out a cheer as the hockey player walked in your direction.
“Hey,”
You looked up to see the mystery boy stood in front of you “hi,” you smiled letting your tongue run over your teeth.
The boy looked pretty as he sat in the seat next to you “you’re not from around here are you?” you asked hearing his accent. Alex let out a laugh as he nodded “from the US,” he confessed taking you by surprise “what brings a guy like you to Melbourne?” You furrowed your eyebrows.
Alex thought about telling you the truth but it seemed like you shared a common thing with the rest of the Australian community where you didn’t know anything about hockey “I’m just here for work,” now Alex wasn’t lying but he wasn’t telling you the whole truth.
It was probably the alcohol talking as you held your hand out to the boy “well American, I’m y/n.” You introduced yourself causing the boy to smile “Alex.”
The night went on as you spent less time with your friends and more time with the mystery American “I’m not going last if you carry on doing that.” Alex warned letting out a grunt as you let your ass rub against his cock.
You laughed as you turned around to face him “what makes you think I want to behave?” You asked wriggling your eyebrows as his hand rubbed against your jaw “you want to get out of here then?” Alex pressed a kiss against your neck causing you to gasp.
Something about tonight had you doing things differently. Usually you weren’t the kind of girl who did that type of stuff but after your boyfriend dumped you just two weeks ago, this was the exact thing that your friends would have wanted you to do “sure!” You were moving on.
The car ride back to his hotel must have been the most awkward thing for the driver as Alex didn’t let his hands leave your sides as you two made out “have a good night.” The driver awkwardly spoke up as his car came to a stop.
You pulled away from Alex as you smiled seeing your lipstick stained on his cheeks “thank,” you mumbled as Alex helped you out of the car.
Your short trip back to his room felt long especially because you spent the majority of your time in elevator with another couple that consisted of a man overly curious about Alex “what was that about?” You asked wondering what he meant by hope you win.
Alex snaked his arm around his waist “don’t worry about it.” He shook his head pressing a kiss to your head.
You nodded as he fished his key card from his pocket “want to make you feel so good baby.” You cooed palming his cock through his pants.
The door opened making him smile “tonight is all about you baby,” he shook his head bringing your lips back to his.
It was needier than before as Alex’s hands ran over the curve of your ass “jump baby.” He grumbled hooking his hands under your legs as you wrapped your feet around his waist.
The door slammed behind you as you made sure to kick it closed “can’t wait to make you feel so good.” The boy mumbled under his breath as he dropped you onto his bed.
It was the next morning as the light that shone in through the curtains made your eyes blink repeatedly as they adjusted to the light “fuck me,” you grumbled almost jumping as an arm pulled you closer to their chest “just turn around and look.” You spoke to yourself as you picked his arm up and placed it next to himself.
Of course as you looked at the boy you began to realise what happened during the night before “shit!” You rubbed your eyes as you saw last nights mascara transfer onto your fingers “where are my panties?” You asked quickly grabbing the shirt from his chair as you couldn’t find your dress “perfect.” If you weren’t the kind of girl who did one night stands then you certainly weren’t the kind of girl who left in the morning.
But you didn’t know what to say to Alex so that’s what you were going to do. The boy looked peaceful as you slipped on your sneakers sending him one final glance before you snuck out of his room leaving nothing more than the memories of the previous night as evidence that you were in there.
Your friends had been interrogating you about the events of your night “you didn’t get his number!” One of your friends laughed slapping her hand over her mouth.
You threw your pencil at her as you rolled your eyes “I didn’t even talk to him in the morning!” You huffed realising that your fun night was truly one of a kind.
The girls could sense your disappointment as they sighed “if you’re meant to see him again you will.” One of the girls smiled as she placed her hand on your back “but for now let’s look forward to the fact that we’re going to that hockey game.” The mention of a sport that none of you were into made you furrow your eyebrows.
You knew that the NHL had a game but you really didn’t think that you were going to pay any attention to it “we’re going to a hockey game?” You couldn’t help it when you let out a scoff.
The girl who sat next to you nodded “figured it would be a fun night out.” She shrugged because what was the worst thing that could come from this.
Clearly the universe wanting to get back at you. Not only had you girls thought that it would be funny if you got decked out in team kits where you were in some of the kings merch after you realised that you guys were sat behind their bench “Al!” Tobias let out a gasp as the boys were on the ice.
Alex turned around all confused “what?” Now the American didn’t want to admit it but he missed you. When he woke up to see you not in his room he thought that the enjoyable night that you two shared was only enjoyed by him “look who is by the bench.” It seemed that at the same time that he looked at you, you were looking back at him “isn’t that Alex?” One of your friends asked sensing your tensed body.
So much for being a businessman…
Once Alex left the ice he was quick to write something on a puck before he threw it over the glass letting it land in your hands.
Can we talk afterwards?
You looked at the puck before you looked up seeing both your friends and his teammates staring at you as they all waited for your answer “sure!” You yelled out figuring that you probably owed it to him.
Maybe he was meant to have you for more than just one night.
#alex turcotte imagines#alex turcotte x reader#hockey imagines#hockey imagine#nhl oneshot#nhl imagine#imagines#oneshots#amber writes fics
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Re-living my childhood and working on doing a fashion history spam of the American Girl dolls!
Oh my god I can’t begin to tell you what a huge part of my childhood those dolls were. Before I go on, let me clarify my family’s financial circumstance growing up: I was a pretty solidly middle-class only child. I definitely wasn’t rich, but my mom was willing to spend a lot of money on buying me a shitload of American Girl stuff because A.) she thought they were cool, and B.) they provided a much smarter alternative to Barbies. And when I grew up and got too old for them, I was able to give my stuff over to my younger cousins.
Looking at what the brand has to offer now, it’s pretty clear that the brand has changed over time and that the emphasis has gone from the historical dolls to the modern ones. Honestly, that’s not a 100% terrible thing. I fully embrace change as a part of the universe, and if it’s a part of the survival of the brand, so be it. As long as the historical dolls remain in tact and the brand integrity is respected. And for the most part, until very recent years, it looks like it has been.
Mattel bought the American Girl brand in 1998, and from then on, you can see the brand shifting away from the original five dolls. I’m going to get waaay more into this with the spam, but really, the historical dolls until very recently have actually remained pretty great. If there’s one really broad critique I could give, it’s that the overall color palette skews towards the modern, with a lot of very bright colors and a heavy emphasis on pink, but when taken individually, the pieces remain very accurate.
HERE’S THE THING! In 2016, a new historical girl was released: Maryellen, repping the 1950s. She’s blonde and has blue eyes, following shortly on Julie, who repped the 1970s and also had blonde hair and blue eyes. You can kind of see a theme developing here. The girls from the 30s, 50, 70s, 80s, and 90s are all blonde with blue eyes. You’d think that girls in the 20th century were only blondes. But anyway I’m getting away from the point. Maryellen was released with only TWO books! The fuck?! Maryellen’s collection remained the same very immersive collection that I love about the brand, but clearly, shit’s changing.
The next historical dolls, Nenea (repping Hawaii after Pearl Harbor), Melody (repping Black girls, Motown, and civil rights in the 60s), Courtney (repping blonde hair blue eyed girls with 80s nostalgia and very little historical engagement), Claudie, (Black girl in the 1920s Harlem Renaissance) and Isabelle and Nicki (again blonde girls repping 90s nostalgia with little historical engagement) all only have two books. The brand has LITERALLY been diminished. The books were an equally important part of the playset, not only providing context for the garments and objects you were playing with, providing REAL, often complex lessons about history, making history feel real and relatable, but they fleshed out the girls, their lives, and the worlds they lived in. They made what you were playing with more than just a playset, more than just a dollhouse or Barbie accessories, they were a whole universe for girls to explore.
Like I said at the beginning, I didn’t grow up rich. I definitely had more privilege than others out there, but I still wasn’t the rich kid villain from a 90s kids movie. I had a lot of American Girl shit because my mom saw the value in the brand and was willing to spend a lot of money on it in a way that she wouldn’t be willing to spend a lot of money on Barbies.
Honestly, I don’t know the toy industry, I don’t know what little girls today want out of their dolls. I know that times change, and that what’s beloved in one generation isn’t necessarily going to be carry over to the next. But I find it hard to believe that little girls straight up no longer are interested in history, and that moms no longer want to give their daughters toys that will actually teach them things. I’ve read a lot of articles about how the brand is struggling, and I don’t think it’s a generational divide. Mattel has fucked up the brand, and I am not just saying that out of Boomer toxic nostalgia that says that everything from the past is GOOD, everything today is BAD, and that anything that changes is inherently not only bad but a personal insult. The stuff that made these expensive dolls worth buying just isn’t there.
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Show Me Yours | Matty Healy [41]
chapter forty-one, act five: the ballad of me and my brain
masterlist
August 12th 2017
Phoebe stands awkwardly at the door to Tommie’s bedroom, and she raises a brow as she steps from side to side. “Hey.”
Phoebe nods and Tommie laughs as she pushes Button to shift closer into her side, then she taps the spot beside her in bed.
The American singer hesitates before finally settling there and pursing her lips.
“Everything alright?”
“Um yeah, I just-” Phoebe sighs and just finally decides to come clean, “Remember that song you wrote a few months back? The one you showed me?”
She raises a brow, she’s shown Phoebe a lot of songs. “Which one?”
“The one you said you were gonna keep for the band. The one you wrote for me?”
Tommie nods with a hum and turns to Phoebe to give her more attention.
Phoebe and Tommie have become very close since meeting two years ago. They’d become sisters, and Tommie knows that in the past few months if Phoebe wasn’t in her life she wouldn’t have survived.
From giving her a place to say to holding her hand as she left the clinic after her abortion. Phoebe has been there for everything, more than anyone in the band, more than any of her family.
Tommie’s never been good with her words, with speaking them, she struggles to put her emotions into words for people to understand. So she wrote Phoebe a song, which happened to be in her beloved lost notebook.
“Yeah, but I lost my book, so if you wanted to use it-”
“No, it’s that, um…”
Phoebe sighs, she hates beating around the bush, especially with Tommie who she knows would prefer her to be upfront and honest.
“Dirty Delights released their first single with Scooter Braun today and it’s that song.”
“What?”
Phoebe winces at the loud volume of her screech as she stands from the bed. Button’s head is tilting as she stares up at her.
“It was released this morning. And if it makes you feel better it’s shit.”
She scrambles for her abandoned laptop which is open as she was watching Barnyard (Button likes the little mouse on it and she loves Biggie Cheese).
She’s on spotify, searching Dirty Delights. The band image has her cringing, they look like a My Chemical Romance Tribute act, with caps not fully on their heads and their boxers sticking out of their baggy jeans.
She clicks on the song, its title different from the one she had chosen in her book. ‘You are Mine’.
“You are Mine?” She scoffs, “It makes it sound possessive, that’s not the point. The point is that I love my best mate and you’re my best mate.”
Phoebe’s hand rubs her back lightly as she hovers the mouse over the play button.
You are mine, I've been drowning in you
You fracture light again
Beautiful, please don't cry, don’t cry
When you leave, I cry on the inside
I wake up, love you, so I love you, so I love you, love you, love you
Then when you leave, I cry
I wake up, love you, love you, love you, love you
Then when you leave, I cry
We're supposed to leave by half-past eight
You wait a while, for me to come home, again
Tired again, I've been dying to meet you
You fracture light again (ooh)
I love you, oh, I love you
When you leave, I cry on the inside
Oh, so I love you, so I love you, so love you, love you, love you, love you
Cry
Oh, I love you, love you, love you, love you, love you
We're supposed to leave by half-past eight
“He changed the lyrics, it sounds fucking shite!”
Phoebe nods, “And the guitar solo is shocking, how’d Braun give way to that?”
Tommie groans and falls face first into the bed, Button’s nose nudging her cheek gently.
“Surely you can do something? Release it as your own.”
Tommie groans again, even louder, “I’ll have to call Jamie.”
Phoebe nods, “I’m sure he can get some good lawyers involved, have them take it down.”
“Not the point, I don’t want to talk to him, he’ll ask me if I’m ready to come back. Then try to convince me to talk to Matty then he’ll pass the phone to Adam ‘cause I’ve been avoiding him and- it’ll be a mess.”
“I’ll call him, pretend you don’t know yet and I’ve let him know first, it will give you at least a day or two to prepare yourself.”
She shifts on the bed to wrap her arms and legs around Phoebe like some kind of red headed koala. “Fanks yew.” Her words are muffled in Phoebe’s hoodie and the singer pats the back of her head.
“I’ll call him now, let him know.”
⋆｡ ﾟ☁︎｡ ⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ
August 16th 2017
“Seriously?”
Tommie does what can only be described as a screech as she throws her phone across the room. Luckily it lands on the arm chair opposite.
Button trots over and sits patiently with her cow teddy in her mouth, waiting for Tommie to roll over and give her attention.
But before she receives a pat on the head there’s a knock on the door and Button whines.
Tommie passes her hand over Button’s head as she gets up, quickly complaining about Phoebe forgetting her keys again.
“Pheebs-”
“Are you okay?”
Adam’s there, stepping in when she opens the door and turning to look at her with that brotherly concern on his face.
“What are you doing here? Shouldn’t you be on tour.”
“We finished the tour ages ago, we’re all back home now. The moment Jamie told me what happened I flew out to see you.”
“I’m fine, Ads, Jamie’s sorting it.”
“Why didn’t you call? Or-or text, I would’ve come.”
“I know you would’ve, Ads, that’s why I didn’t call.”
She sighs and sits back on the sofa rubbing her hands down her face, “Have you talked to him? Called him and asked him to give credits?”
“He’s blocked me.” She scoffs, “If I just kept my mouth shut, this wouldn’t have happened.”
“What? Keep your mouth shut about what?”
“I-” She pauses and looks up as he sits on the arm of the sofa beside her, hand rubbing between her shoulder blades. She shakes her head, “We argued and I just- said a bunch of dickish stuff.”
She leans into his side and he wraps his arm over her shoulder, “Why don’t you come home? If you don’t want to be alone you can stay with me and Carly until tour kicks off again.”
She shakes her head, “Phoebe’s album is two months away, Ads. I promised I’d be here with her.”
Adam shrugs, “I’m sure she’ll understand-”
“No, I’m not abandoning her at one of her most important moments. This is her first album, her debut, she’s my best mate-”
“I used to be your best mate.”
She pauses and looks at the soft look on his face, “Ross, G…” He opens his mouth but cuts himself off. They both know the final name he was going to say.
“I haven’t talked to any of you in weeks.”
“And who’s fault is that?”
He doesn’t have that motherly look on his face that she turns to when she’s scared. His eyes are staring right into her soul, and his lips are set in a straight line, no curve, no wrinkles.
He sighs and gives in within no time, he always gives in when it comes to Tommie. “I worry, To-”
“Yeah, well I’m fine alone. You should stop worrying.”
Adam’s brows raise as he looks at her, “What’s wrong with you?”
“You- you and your need to be- be breathing down my neck constantly.”
Adam keeps his face straight, trying not to show her outburst is getting to him, “You treat me like a kid, Ads. Always trying to protect me, but I’m not- I’m not a kid-”
“I know, Tom.”
“Then treat me like an adult, stop-”
“What’s this about?”
She pauses to shake her head at him, “What?”
“This little thing you’re trying to do. This speech. What’s it about?”
“I want to be respected.”
“You are.”
“No, I’m not, and I’m tired of it.”
She stands and moves away, “I’m taking care of everything, Ads,” She grabs her phone and checks for damage again, “You don’t need to worry.”
Adam’s brows furrow, “Just because you’re not a part of the band anymore doesn’t mean we don’t love you.”
She purses her lips and looks away, “I’m not stupid, Tommie. I know what you’re trying to do. It didn’t work when we were kids and it definitely won’t work now.”
She shrugs, “I don’t know what you mean, Adam.”
“Trying to push everyone away. Trying to have this detox of people in your life. Make sure you cut out the right ones, not the ones who care about you.”
He grabs his discarded wallet and phone from the kitchen counter as he starts his way out, but he pauses just before he gets to the door. “This isn’t me walking out, this is me giving you space. If you call, I’ll pick up. If you need me, I’ll be there.”
taglist
@thereisaplaceintheheart, @indierockgirrl, @sofaritsalrightt, @julezs-bl0g, @eaglestar31, @sophinthealpss, @noacfemcel, @if-my-heart-bleeds, @befrwime, @fallingforel, @sexorchocolateorpillowsorclouds, @3terna15unshin3, @1975sophie1975, @thesocraticjunkiewannabe, @littlesoldierelleora, @procrastinatinglikeapro, @beatr2x, @byyourside28
-let me know if you want to be added :)
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Bedtime Stories w/ Rose
ੈ✩‧˚ Turkish Coffee ‧˚ੈ✩
(Bedtime Story #3)
Good evening my pretty puppies. I’ve got another interesting tale for you. You all voted pretty heavily for this one, probably thinking you’ll hear about me in a little maid outfit ;3 Remember to keep this story in your likes until you are all cozy and ready for bed.
Before reading: Everything I’m about to say is real and actually happened. I’ve withheld things like certain locations and last names to be respectful to the people in the story.
This time in my life I’m about to describe 100% shaped me as a person. I wouldn’t be who I am today if it didn’t all happen. I kept an extensive journal the whole time and have written hundreds of pages already about my experience, hoping that one day I might publish my story. Though there’s so much I could say, I will try to summarize it within a 20 minute read.
~'*•.¸♡¸.•*'.・。゜✭・.・✫・。.'*•.¸♡¸.•*'~
Please look up the song, “So Wie Du Bist” by MoTrip. A song I heard on the radio while on public transit in Germany, its title translates into, “Just The Way You Are.”
I went through a pretty intense existential crisis my senior year of high school. Everything felt so bleak. I felt like nothing really mattered anymore.
My whole life, my parents were preparing me for college. One day at the dinner table in grade 12, I asked them if they would help me send in some applications. They laughed at me, and told me there was no way they could afford to send me to a university. I felt like they had lied to me my whole upbringing. What was the point of all the pressure if I wasn’t going to be anything anyway? How could they laugh like that?
My sister had just gotten back from an au pairship in Germany that was organized through a family friend, and during this same dinner conversation, my parents asked me if I was interested in doing that as well.
With no real goals anymore and spending my days sitting on the couch talking to my online friends on Xbox Live, I said fuck it, why not? I signed the paperwork and I would be sent out at the end of July. I didn’t know any German, but I was told that the point of being an au pair was to do a cultural exchange, where they’d teach me German and I’d expose them to regular English.
The contract I signed laid out two distinct parts of my job: to help the two children I’d be living with with their homework, and to be a live-in maid for the household. The plan for my days was always the same: get up at 8am and do any housework that the mom, Mrs. K, assigned to me, and then be ready to tutor the kids once they got home from school.
Things don’t ever turn out like we expect. We have all these ideas and hopes for how it’ll be, but we never really know. We can only guess and wait and see.
The family I was living with wasn’t German, they were a Turkish family and exclusively spoke their own language in their household. One of the first Turkish words I learned was “Anne”, meaning ‘Mom’. The second was “Yok”, which means ‘No’. The blue Turkish ‘Evil Eye’ will always make me think of them, as it was very important to their culture and had to be able to be seen no matter where you were in the house; they were everywhere, above every door frame, and in every room.
Mr. K was a dentist, and their family lived a very well-off life because of it. They owned two Porsche’s and their home was gorgeously modern: 4-stories tall with one level being a fully furnished basement. The color pallet of the home was white, with the outside being red brick. The walls on the ground floor that made up the kitchen and living room were essentially just massive windows, floor to ceiling all around the house, with huge zombie-esk shields that could be raised to cover the windows at night.
I was their little American trophy, and they loved to bring me to their friend’s homes for dinner to show me off. “Say word!” they’d encourage me.
The children I took care of were the most monstrous spoiled little brats I had ever met. The girl (I’ll call her D) was 12 years old at the time, and the boy (I’ll call him C) was 14. Two very hormonal ages for a kid and they had to suddenly spend half of their time at home with me. Originally, they were very insecure about their English, but they were both actually pretty smart, and could speak it very well. Our homework time was called ‘learning’ and they would always fight with eachother over who would have to go first.
The girl would throw tantrums regularly. If she didn’t get exactly what she wanted, she’d start stomping her feet and screaming her head off. One time when we went into town, she wanted to buy an umbrella from the store, and her mom said no. “Yok!” She was on the floor, kicking and screaming in front of everyone about how she never gets what she wants.
She was such a silly girl with me sometimes though, always wanting to laugh and poke-fun instead of learning. We’d be trying to do her vocabulary and she’d be asking me all sorts of things that had nothing to do with school.
“She messes with me by asking me random questions that throw me off. We spent the last 10 minutes laughing about how her cardigan made her look like a bat when she spread her arms out.”
The boy was devilishly smart, but his parents expected too much of him which caused him to slink away a lot. He would say some pretty racist things to me at times, things that would make me use google translate to try to show him how horrible his words were. He was well aware. The boy also had a silly side though, and would get so distracted during our learning time with questions just like his sister. They hated it when I said that they were very alike.
“C spent the first 8 minutes very eager to kill the fly stuck in the room. Once I got him to finally sit down, I had to stop teaching every six words because C wanted to talk to me about Destiny.”
My room was basically an apartment, located in “level 0” as I called it in my journal in the basement of the house. It had its own entranceway to outside, as well as my own kitchen and bathroom. It was pretty cool, and things were going really well until about a month into my stay.
The family planed a trip for all of us to go to the nearby city of Köln, or better known to most with the French spelling as Cologne. The Köln Dom is a very famous cathedral in the city, and we climbed all the way to the top to see the view, spending the day walking around and eating local food. It was wundershön. Towards the end of the day, when we were at a restaurant having dinner, one of the daughters of the family friends we knew invited me out to a night club later that evening.
I asked Mr. and Mrs. K if I could go, and much to my surprise, they said yes.
It was close to 9pm when N and her brother came and picked me up. We went to one of their friend’s house first to pregame. We sipped mixed drinks while we watched some of them play FIFA. It made me feel so cool. I was only 18, but the drinking laws were much different in Germany than they were in the states, so even though I wouldn’t be able to legally drink for another 3 years back home, I was of age here.
The club was exactly what I hoped from the underground German-club scene. The U I think it was called, we all piled together in an elevator that was crammed full of 30+ people that took us to the top of a skyscraper. The bouncer gave me the craziest look when I showed him my California ID. One of the boys we were there with snuck in a whole bottle of vodka that we all took turns drinking from as we danced. It was my first time in a club, and also the first time a random stranger started grinding on me.
Things were going great, until they weren’t. No one knew they needed to take care of me. I didn’t know either until my legs stopped working. I had never had that much freedom to drink alcohol in public, but the laws in Germany start at age 14 for supervised drinking, so all of them assumed I had been used to alcohol for years. We were leaving when my legs gave out. I don’t remember much after that. We were suddenly in the car and N was handing me a water bottle. Then they were telling me I was home, and to get out. They asked me if I was going to be okay, and I confidently waved at them and wished them goodnight.
I woke myself up by vomiting everywhere in bed. There was no time to run to the bathroom, it just happened before my eyes were open.
One of the rules in the house was no closed doors. The kids had to leave their’s open at all times (which made me really sad for their developmental needs), but that also went for me as well. I shut my door and went upstairs to have breakfast with the family. I forgot and started working on my cleaning duties when D came running up to me, saying that Anne was very upset. She saw my door closed and went in to check, seeing the throw up on the sheets.
This moment unfortunately changed everything. I was a good girl. I worked very hard. I never wanted to do a better job in my life. But now I was labeled as irresponsible, and lost my privileges to sleep in the apartment room. They made space for me at the other side of the basement, in a cold, windowless room that didn’t have any furniture, just boxes and the kids old toys meant for storage.
“It’s a strange feeling to wake up reaching for your stuffed animal and to remember that you’re not home. It’s even stranger when it’s in a bed that’s not even a bed. One that I woke up in this morning, sprawled out across two couches in the abandoned toy room of my host family’s basement.”
The days got bleaker from there. I had to keep track of any work that I did, writing down the exact amount of minutes in a calendar to make sure I did enough work. Some days, Mrs. K wouldn’t give me anything to do, and I would be standing there in front of her begging to assign me a task. She’d wave her hands and go back to watching her soaps, leaving me to just go sit somewhere and wait. There were days I only did 2 hours of work, when I had to get 6 done each day. It started to become a real burden to me. They would make me write down the hours I didn’t complete, even on days that they blatantly told me that they didn’t have anything.
The negative hours were adding up. At the end of it all, I had 14.3 hours they expected me to somehow fulfill. There were days where I worked 10 hours of just cleaning trying to make up the time.
“What am I supposed to do? How is that fair? How can they tell me that when I’m standing there asking for work and they say no? I’m more stressed out than I have ever been. I hope this is one of those things where if you face the storm and just keep moving then everything will clear and it’ll be okay.”
However terrible I felt, I did start to get used to our routine. Once the kids were done with their homework, it was my free time, and I eventually started taking the spare house key and announcing I was headed out. I knew they couldn’t stop me. I would walk around the neighborhood until it started to get too dark and I’d sluggishly take myself back home.
A river went through their backyard, and on the other side was a large city-owned cemetery. I would walk about 15 minutes down the road to the entrance, always making my way to a specific bench that faced one of the gravestones. I loved talking to her. It felt good to say so many things in English. People would see me and I just hoped they assumed I was grieving; they always let me be, which I truly appreciated so much.
The last straw was sometime in November. The plan was that I was supposed to be there through Christmas, and I had already experienced an Oktoberfest which was really very exciting, but I ended up filing for breach of contract and leaving early.
Their house was always under construction. There were workmen there doing something every single day, hammering or drilling or doing some kind of panelling. They didn’t like when they accidentally hired German workers - Mr. K only wanted them to be Turkish. A German boy named Ray struck up a conversation with me one day he was there doing landscaping at the house, but he was never invited back. I had dreams about running away with him, having him save me from the life I was living.
I was sitting in the kitchen one morning when Mrs. K pointed at the backyard for me to look. A dump truck was coming into their large yard and unloading dozens of uncut logs. I watched them for a moment and then asked, “Workers?” Mrs. K looked frustrated and said, “No workers. You!”
I wasn’t as strong as I am now, but even still, it was too much work for a single person to do. Winter was coming, and it snowed heavily in Germany so the family needed lots of firewood for the next several months. She had me hauling and stacking the logs in the shed behind the house all by hand. I wasn’t even halfway through the mountain of wood before I started to feel dizzy, my vision was fading and I was afraid that i’d pass out on top of the pile if I didn’t go inside.
I made the mistake of calling my mom. She freaked out, and when I woke up from my exhaustion nap, the damage was done. She called everyone involved, and had already bought me a plane ticket home. There was no changing it now.
D used to text me constantly after I got home, sending me videos of herself asking me over and over again, “When are you coming back?”
There’s so many things I regret about what happened in Germany. So many things I wish I could have handled differently. But there’s also so many amazing things that I was so happy to go see and do.
I loved Mrs. K’s cooking. I would do a little dance everytime we sat down to eat and it would make her smile so much. No one ever said thank you to her, so I always made sure to thank her for the meals she made. Her authentic Turkish cooking was to die for. Lamb and rice with dill and her brown lentil soup were my favorite.
I earned 1 vacation day every month I was there, so I eventually was able to save up 3 vacation days, and also used my 1 day off during a specific week to take a bus to London. It drove all through the night and then got on the ferry to cross the English Channel.
The whole experience living with this family made me very good at understanding people without English. It was incredibly difficult at first, of course, but I work with a lot of vendors at my current job where English is not their first language, and no matter what they speak, I will not have a hard time talking to them.
Even when things were rough between me and the K’s, we all still had lots of good moments. Just like any family. I know that they think about me just as much as I think about them.
“It’s amazing to not speak the same language, but still be able to understand a person’s emotions and body language. It really shows how we are all the same species, and all humans are very much the same. All of our laughs say the same thing too, and I think that’s really beautiful.”
That’s the end of our story my sweet angels. I know it probably wasn’t what you were expecting, but I still hope you enjoyed it. Mommy got very good at cleaning windows because of these days in her life. Thank you again for reading, and I hope to hear what you think. ❤️
Sleep well babies xoxo
~'*•.¸♡¸.•*'.・。゜✭・.・✫・。.'*•.¸♡¸.•*'~
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A full transcribe of JAVIER PEÑA'S dialogue/lines from the TV show NARCOS.
S1/E5 - THERE WILL BE A FUTURE
Includes full dialogue, and dialogue from any deleted/additional scenes available.
I've created this as a point of reference when writing for Pedro's characters, and I hope you find it useful. Even if you just want to read the dialogue. 🖤
FULL MASTERLIST OF PEDRO CHARACTERS DIALOGUE
☝🏻Dialogue has been fully transcribed by myself using reference to original scripts (if available), audio subtitles and using my own two ears. Therefore, mistakes can be made, however I have tried to be as fully accurate as I can. If you spot an obvious mistake, please kindly let me know. Where audio is not clear, I have marked with *inaudible* Scenes are separated for ease of reference.
FULL SCRIPT DIALOGUE:
First thing is that we get you out of Bogotá.
There’s an orphanage in Cumeral. It’s out of the guerrilla zone and away from the narcos.
We get you a passport. From another country, we can depose you about Escobar and the siege.
This is about keeping you alive.
(In Spanish) If Pablo Escobar finds you… he’ll kill you in a heartbeat.
__________________
Well, she’s the only witness we got that can tie Escobar to the palace massacre.
No.
Well, we keep her in hiding until things cool down, and get immunity in exchange for her testimony-
Well, the next time your wife decides to bring home a human hand grenade, how about she hands it to you?
Sleep with a communist? That would be downright un-American.
__________________
We’re almost certain. It was, uh... it was hard to tell. The… connection was bad. They were calling from Panama.
Ambassador, word is Manuel Noriega is providing safe harbour for the narcos, and possibly shipping points for their cocaine.
__________________
(In Spanish) What’s happening, Carillo?
(In Spanish) So, you practice your English with me?
Do your bosses know you’re doing this?
Well, do they have to be from Medellín?
__________________
Well, how about you, uh… clue us in?
Right. Well, good talk, Lou. Very, uh… enlightening.
__________________
You got your nails done. It’s-it’s your colour, Colleen.
It’s simple. I just need your signature… right there.
What I want you to do is sideskip a little bullshit bureaucracy and help someone stay alive. You really think I wouldn’t be asking you if it wasn't important? She’s my informant. And she could be the key to bringing down the whole Medellín cartel, so come on, Colleen, whose side are you on?
__________________
I was driving to the church. Was with my buddy, John. He was my best man. We were late. It was fucking blazing outside, 110 degrees. Whole bridal party was there sweating their balls off, I’m sure. All of a sudden, I stopped the car.
I don’t know if she actually made it to the altar.
Yeah. She forgave me. Eventually. Married a stockbroker from Dallas.
Randy… I think. Trust me, she’s better off.
He’s gonna talk.
(In Spanish) It’s about time, Navegante.
What do you got?
You said you had information. You didn’t say Gacha.
__________________
Could be money. The reward for Gacha is one million US. I’d say that’s pretty good motivation.
It’s worth taking a risk.
That’s a beautiful dress, Ambassador Noonan.
__________________
Here, Elisa’s ID.
Take her to Cumaral. My contact there agreed to hide her.
Brother, what do you suggest we do?
Look, she’s… she's important.
To us.
__________________
FULL MASTERLIST OF PEDRO CHARACTERS DIALOGUE
#pedro pascal#javier pena#javier peña#pedro pascal characters#javier pena narcos#pedro pascal character dialogue#javier pena dialogue
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Exhausted
Hey!! This is my first ever fanfic I’ve written,, I’m extremely sorry about any mistakes I made </3
I struggled to capture Soap’s accent in this; I hope you all won’t mind!! He’s an American for the time being 🥲
Minor Warning: Shitty spelling/grammar mistakes, most of it is fluff though 💕
This is also pretty short!! If this writing seems to be well received, I may add on to it or make more chapters :)
Please let me know if you have any suggestions for future fanfics, I love to write and I love my 141 and KorTak babies even more <3
The mission went swimmingly. No casualties (on their side, anyways), little to none injuries. A miracle, honestly—the task forces assigned were biting off way more than they could chew. As Simon Riley, or “Ghost”, heaved his weight onto the back of the truck, the yells of what he assumed to be of Price’s echoed around the area. Close behind followed John “Soap” Mactavish, who plopped himself right next to where Ghost had chosen to sit.
With a cocky smirk spread across his face, Soap leaned his body weight against Ghost. “Heard you roughed ‘em up pretty good, LT.” He slid his hand along Ghost’s shoulder, hugging him closer.
Ghost let out a grumble, shoving him off of his body. “Heard you got fucked yourself. How’s the arm?” He returned the smirk (which Soap could just barely make out with the balaclava Ghost was wearing covering it), poking Soap’s arm.
As Soap flinched away—and Ghost swears he heard a hiss as he did so—Price eyed them both from the opposite side of the truck. When had he gotten there? Ghost hadn’t realized. Weird.
“It’s just fine.” As Soap massaged where Ghost had touched him, Ghost took the chance to scoot farther away from him.
As the truck began its rocky pace back to HQ, Ghost (whom had previously snapped at Soap for falling asleep on him on the way back from a mission) couldn’t help but occasionally rest his eyes before he fully began to drift off onto the unsuspecting shoulder of Mactavish himself. He was spent, Price had put more weight than usual on him: assigning two god damn squads filled to the brim with militia. It was an easy win, obviously. That didn’t stop him from being exhausted by the end of it.
Soap, who had now began to realize Ghost’s proximity to him, cracked a smile, careful not to disturb the moment. He nudged his free arm in the direction of Gaz, who was sitting next to him, and the two shared a moment of pure excitement. It was shocking in itself that Ghost let his guard down enough to actually manage to drift off, but on someone else? Completely unheard of.
Ghost, full of surprises to say the least, nuzzled his head into the crook in Soap’s neck, mumbling incoherent bullshit. Gaz (whom has been waiting to witness a moment like this) smiled innocently at Soap, batting his eyelashes. “Looks like you two finally got together, eh?”
This caught the attention of Price, who had been trying to ignore his.. well, children at this point, and he pulled his head up slightly to get a better view.
Soon after Ghost was fully asleep, Soap carefully placed his hand on top of his, eyes distant and longing. As much as he was enjoying this, he didn’t want their first time properly holding hands to be when Ghost was asleep. So, he retracted his own, the corners of his mouth twitching downwards.
Seeing what Soap had did, Gaz leaned in closer and hissed in his ear. “It’s not every day you get to hold his hand, ya? Go for it.” He smiled at Soap, holding eye contact for a second with an encouraging look in his eyes before shifting his attention back to the chaos going on in the other side of the truck.
With a flinch of awkwardness, Soap reached out again and laced his fingers with Ghost’s own. He knew Ghost’s hand would be limp, and that it wouldn’t be like the real thing, but he still felt beyond euphoric to do something so intimate with Ghost.
“I swear to god, if either of you tell him this happened, it’ll be the last thing you do.” He spread his pointed glare to Gaz and Price, whom agreed via a nod of the head and a knowing smile.
Throughout the ride, Soap had forgotten he was holding Ghost’s hand; he had been holding it for too long to not see it as natural.
But Ghost? He had woken up halfway through the ride, not moving a muscle. He kept his place on Soap’s neck, hearing the hum of his vocal cords as he talked with Gaz. He would never admit it, but the sound relaxed him; his hand laced with Soap’s even more so. Slowly but surely, he inched his fingers to close over Soap’s with a soft smile under his balaclava.
As the truck lurched to a stop, Soap looked down to both his and Ghost’s hands. He smiled to himself before loosening his fingers. Ghost, who realized what Soap was doing, huffed into the warm skin on Mactavish’s neck and squeezed his hand.
With a wide-eyed Soap staring at him, Ghost took the chance to stroke his thumb across his palm. “Ya gonna just sit there lookin’ pretty, or ya gonna hold my hand again, sergeant?” His voice was gruff from not talking for hours, the hum pressing into Soap’s neck.
With an excited side glance to Gaz, he tightened his grip on Ghost’s hand. “Jus’ keepin it warm for ya, LT.”
“Likewise.”
Thank you so much for reading!!
Typed this all out on my phone lol, sorry if it sounds lazy 💕
#john soap mactavish#simon ghost riley#soap x ghost#ghost x soap#ghost mw2#ghost cod#soap mw2#soap cod#soapghost#ghostsoap#simon riley#john mactavish#cod mw2#call of duty mw2#mw2#gaz#kyle gaz garrick#captain price#captain john price
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Former FBI official accuses Marjorie Taylor Greene of spreading foreign propaganda
Mark Alesia, Investigative Reporter
April 13, 2024 6:08AM ET
Marjorie Taylor Greene talking to reporters in February. (Kevin Dietsch/Getty Images)
This article was paid for by Raw Story subscribers. Not a subscriber? Try us and go ad-free for $1. Prefer to give a one-time tip? Click here.
Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene (R-GA) is spreading the propaganda of American adversaries on social media, knowing those countries will amplify her messages for impact they wouldn’t otherwise have, said the Federal Bureau of Investigation’s former assistant director for counterintelligence.
In Monday’s debut of The Defiant Podcast with Brooklyn Dad Defiant, shared in advance with Raw Story, Frank Figliuzzi tells host Majid Padellan, “What we’ve caught Russia and China doing … is they’ll take a statement from Marjorie Taylor Green — or someone like her, someone who doesn’t deserve a particular amount of attention — and then those foreign intelligence services amplify it across social media.
“So she has immediate amplifying support out there. She knows when she spouts something ridiculous there’s going to be foreign adversaries who blow up her message so we can’t avoid it.”
Greene’s office did not respond to a request for comment from Raw Story.
READ: A criminologist explains why Trump’s Manhattan trial is the biggest threat to his freedom
In the podcast, Figliuzzi, who works for NBC News, emphasized China’s role in spreading misinformation and disinformation.
“We focus almost exclusively on Russia at our own peril,” Figliuzzi said. “Because recent reporting, including from my outfit, NBC News, has pointed out that the Chinese are already at it — already fully engaged in attempting to mess with our next election. It’s chaos they want to sew.”
Padellan said Figliuzzi described the situation by using a phrase he coined: “spamoflage,” a cross between spam and camouflage.
“He said they’ll create a clone of, say, CNN’s website and post information that’s kind of true but kind of not true,” Padellan said. “He said by the time people figure out it’s a bogus site, it’s already done its damage.”
Figliuzzi told Padellan that China wants Trump to win.
“Because he is more easy to manipulate, he’s more susceptible to influence,” Padellan said.
Padellan is a staunch progressive and social media influencer who has 1.3 million followers on X, formerly Twitter. In 2021, the New York Post attacked him for taking money from a pro-Democrat political action committee, Really American, in 2020. FEC records show the total was $59,088.
Padellan responded that he was always open about the affiliation. He did design and social media work for the organization. FEC records show no payments since then to Padellan.
He said his motivation is his five children, three adults and two teenagers.
“I feel a very strong sense of responsibility about the kind of world I’m passing on to them,” Padellan said. “This is personal. I have skin in the game. I feel like it’s my civic duty to do everything possible to illuminate the truth, to make sure I do what I can to cut through the (bs).”
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Some Serennedy headcannons for the one and only @mooseonahunt !!!! Sorry I couldn’t add to it ask Tumblr wouldn’t let me BXNSHDNSJSN
HC’s under cut cuz I don’t wanna bombard anyone’s dashboard!!!
• They’re T4T. This much is obvious. And I’ve said it before but I’ll say it again, I think Luis is very old-fashioned and as such still uses terms like Transvestite/Transsexual/Fag for himself. I think Leon is just happy calling himself gay and trans chendhendhsn
• I don’t think Leon’s actually all into women- controversial I know BCNSHDNSUSJ but I think him trying (and failing) to flirt with women was him trying to overcompensate for his queerness, and I think it solidified for him that Hey liking men is Ok actually when he met Luis
• Luis however is very unabashedly queer. He will flirt with anyone and everyone and he’s encouraged Leon to open up more when it comes to his identity me thinks
• Leon gets jealous easily. Not in an alpha-male-nobody-can-touch-my-man way, but I think he’s deep down a little bit insecure that a guy like LUIS would ever be into HIM. He just likes coming home and being reassured with lots of kisses that Luis does love him and only him acktually (But I’m saying that I don’t think either of them would be like. OPPOSED to polyamory. They just don’t have the time BXBSHNESH)
• Luis is obviously the more physically affectionate one and Leon is VERY touch starved so he laps it up like crazy
• Luis is a morning person. Leon is NOT. So often Luis will get up WAY before Leon and go out shopping for breakfast stuffs before him
• I know I’m one of millions to say this but Leon CANNOT cook. And Luis secretly indulges in being a little bit of a househusband for them both BXNSHENSJS
• Very random but I think Luis flirts with Chris on behalf of Leon. He’s like “if this idiot won’t make a move on this Boulder-lookin ass guy I WILL”
• Me And @hamartia-grander had a very hilarious conversation about this but I think Leon is immune to all flirting EXCEPT for Luis’. Luis could say literally THE DUMBEST shit and Leon will fall head over heels for him
• And Vice Versa. Luis is SUCH a sucker for all of Leon’s dumb jokes he strokes his ego like crazy
• Luis is like one of those dogs that are massive but don’t realise it and think they can sit on their owners just fine. Luis will curl up on Leon’s lap or be the little spoon and it’s an insanely awkward tangle of limbs but Leon couldn’t care in the slightest
• Also, Luis is like,,, actually SHOCKINGLY taller than Leon???? Like if you put their game models side by side and make Luis stand up straight he’s actually quite a fair bit taller than Leon????? But he’s always resting his weight on one hip or leaning on something so it’s hard to tell in-game
• Leon doesn’t like to go out in public so when he has to, he’s always got a grip on Luis’ arm xhdndhenhdnejx
• Luis LOVES to buy Leon new jackets. Except he has no money so he’s actually just using Leon’s money BCNDHDNDHNDDJ
“Awwwwe thanks for the jacket babe :)) why is there 50$ less in my bank account”
“Don’t worry about it cariño :)))))”
• Luis can sing!!! And play guitar!!!!! His Grandfather taught him :)
• Leon REALLY likes to learn and engage in stuff from Luis’ culture. Luis gets homesick very easily so he’s always teaching him dances and cooking him food n stuff like that to make them both feel better
• That being said Leon will TRY to speak Spanish and he just. Sounds awful. And I think Luis gets very delighted by very random silly American things xhsnxhsnxj he just like me fr (Eg: omg Leon!!!!!!! An Ikea!!!!!!!!!!! Ive Never been to an Ikea before!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)
• Leon has made it a habit of reading Luis Don Quixote before bed. Even though Luis could probably read the book backwards with his eyes closed, he just likes hearing Leon talk :)) also Leon is a S L O W Reader so Like. It works out for the both of them BCNDHXNDJD
• I’ve mentioned this numerous times but I fully think if Luis were to survive, he’d be disabled somehow. Some days he’s fine and some days he can’t even walk. But Leon is always always always there to help him no matter what
• Going off of that, I recon Luis loves to dance, but can’t really do it well after his injury. So Leon just kinda half-carry’s him and it usually ends up with the both of them on the floor laughing
• I don’t think Luis would still be religious after,,, e v e r y t h i n g but I think he probably still prays out of habit, and Leon likes to sit and watch him with a lil smile on his face
• Luis still loves to use knight/prince-themed nicknames for Leon :))
• Leon loves to kiss the rings on Luis’ fingers as a form of intimacy
• Again stolen from @snailvee , but I WHOLLY agree with their headcannon that Luis takes a LOT of pride in his appearance (he feels like it’s the one thing he can control etc etc) so letting Leon see him all scruffy in the mornings is a little way of saying “I love you”
• Also again stolen from Snail, they share clothes. Except Luis is really tall and lanky and it accentuates Leon’s muscles so sometimes he hides his clothes in Leon’s drawers on purpose NCNEHDNDJDNDJ
• After a while I wholly think Luis grows out his hair/ grows a little beard and Leon is obsessed w it
• I think even before he met Luis, he was exactly Leon’s type. Tall dark and handsome NXNDHDND he always pictured being with a man like that and he’d be lying if he said he wasn’t kinda into Spanish accents
• Leon makes a extra effort to hide old photos of him as a Rookie from Luis because whenever he finds them he starts crying and is like “OOOOUGGHHH LEEEOOOONNN YOU WERE SUCH A BABYYYY……. THE WORLD WAS SO CRUEL TO YOOOOOUUUU…… OUAHAGAHSGHA”
• Oh also they’re both autistic. There is NO WAY Leon is neurotypical with that eye contact and lack of social awareness and Luis’ special interest is horses and Don Quixote you can’t convince me otherwise (He also likes infodumping to Leon abt sciency stuff :))) )
• I think Luis cries very easily. Not even over anything reasonable he’s just an emotional guy HDBDHDNDHDN
• Leon has had to sit Luis down multiple times and say to him “It’s ok. You don have to keep trying to repent for your mistakes. Being here and alive is more than enough of an apology for me. You can forgive yourself”
• Luis likes to gush about Leon to Rebecca and Leon likes to gush about Luis to Chris and Claire. They’re idiots sooooo in love
• @hamartia-grander again stolen from you but Leon always keeps a photo of Luis with him when on missions and they’re always calling whenever they can <<<333
• Luis has gotten every single little mole and freckle of Leon’s memorised perfectly so he can kiss them whenever he wants :))
• Leon’s favourite part of Luis is his pretty eyelashes with those tiny lil grey lashes and nose. He’s a sucker for big noses. He also likes braiding his hair me thinks
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Working Class Gods
So I am fully aware that this will be so soaked through with bias and based on personal anecdotal “evidence” that it will start dripping down and staining the carpet. If you choose to engage with this, please remember that these are opinions, UPG, and completely pulled from my ass.
This isn’t meant to be a “hot take”, merely an observation. I think the Gods (of any pagan belief but I’m talking about the Hellenic deities here) are more connected to and more present in the lives of working class and “middle class” people and have always been that way. Let me explain.
This may just be my bias as someone who has only ever known a working class life, who doesn’t get caught up in the intensity of ritual and research, and has read American Gods about twenty times at this point, but I think the Gods as I know and see them are and always have been of the working classes of society. However you want to define that. I believe the Gods have a deeper and more organic relationship with pagans who identify and live lives at those sort of levels. I am not saying that those who would be considered “upper class” or those who could be categorized as “the 1%” in any given society can’t experience and connect with the Gods. I cant and won’t ever say that. Just the more it turns in my head and stews, the more I believe what I’ve said.
The Gods are everywhere. They can be found literally anywhere if you look for them. They aren’t limited to the things humans create or the ways we’ve categorized ourselves and them. Aphrodite can just as easily be worshipped by a millionaire Instagram influencer as a teenager who works at Sephora as a job to help her parents pay the rent. Athena can be found walking the aisles of Harvard or Oxford just as much as being among the shelves of a small town bookmobile that is the closest that town has to a library for 100 miles. Dionysus can be found at the biggest and more glamorous galas and events just as well as being able to sit on the couch with a gay teen in Alabama who isn’t out to anyone but their best friend. Apollo can be on the stages of a sold out stadium show just as much as being in the furthest, cheapest back row seat. I could give examples for every Olympian and Titan with a name, but I’ll just leave it there.
The stories we have are known to have originated as oral traditions. Oral stories told to people until someone wrote them down, and even then they still were told as bedtime stories or around a campfire. It was the populous, the working class, that told those stories most of the time. Sure, an emperor or a queen might tell their children stories sometimes, but a majority of what we have came from the continuous belief and propagation of stories by the farmers, smiths, fishermen and artists. And I think that’s the same as now. Anyone can become enthralled with the stories and mythologies retold, some across a book of retelling in any library. But I think it’s the kids who aren’t in the upper echelons of private school and trust funds are more prone to that discovery and for that to stick with them in a meaningful way.
I’m lucky that my gods aren’t used by people in positions of power to control society. I’m lucky that my religion isn’t the dominant one and my gods names are being taken in vain to control others. I can’t speak for how the world was in the past when that WAS more likely the case, but for today I can say that I’m glad it isn’t.
One thing that has always stuck with me about my favorite book, American Gods by Neil Gaiman is how the old gods are on the level of working class people. It has stuck with me into my own fiction writing as well as my beliefs. I do believe that if the Gods were to take physical form and function in today’s society (maybe they do, who knows. I’ve met people I could easily believe were Hephaestus or Hermes), they would take on a working class life and working blue collar jobs. I wouldn’t expect to see any of them taking high positions of power, being politicians or royalty. I would expect to run into them at the DMV, in line at the grocery store, or behind a cash register. I’d expect to see Apollo running a small Etsy shop, Hephaestus to work at a factory, Hermes to run a gas station or auto repair shop, Zeus to be a pilot, Poseidon to be a lifeguard or work at a community pool.
I see the gods in the everyday. I see them in all the things of my life and connect with them in everything I do, not just when I’m at my altar. Seeing the spectacular in the mundane or the ordinary was how I was raised and how I still work today. The Gods are there in chipped nail polish, calm Sunday mornings, road trips in a cheap car, and in the lyrics of my favorite songs. I started thinking about this more as I was curating a small playlist on Spotify for what I call “My Hymns”. They are regular songs that I associate with the Gods. Some have some spiritual meaning intended for a different deity, and some are just match the ✨vibes✨of the Gods. I listen to that playlist as a devotional act, letting each song remind me of its own god or goddess, letting my singing along or quiet listening be like a hymn being belted out to the rafters of my own private temple. It just gets me thinking about my Gods and it makes me happy.
I hope this all makes sense and I didn’t mince my words too much.
Cheers
-D
#personal#blog#hellenism#hellenic polytheist#hellenic polytheism#thoughts#Post#paganism#blue collar#upg#gods#goddesses#theoi#deities#essay#rant#hellenic gods#working class
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