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princessofgayskull · 3 years

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Hi sunflower, what's your thoughts on T Swift's Betty being a catradora song???

Me, taking a break from spop to focus on my mental health and setting better boundaries:

Me, reading this ask:

This ask woke me up from like a deep, sleeping beauty type slumber, not joking. I don’t get asked to talk about Taylor Swift often, despite being a fan of hers since I was nine years old (I’m 22 now *wink*) and we are about to find out why. But I pride myself on taking any fiction piece of media I interact with and connecting it somehow to Taylor Swift. I can do so to varying degrees of success (usually depends on the ships and romance of the world) but there are so many songs of Taylor’s that have just fit Catradora so well for me, both in and out of canon.

Some of my favorite examples: out of the woods (AND IT KEPT ME UP AT NIGHT WHEN NOELLE SAID THIS WAS HER TAYLOR SWIFT SONG FOR CATRADORA LIKE GAH CASUAL TS LISTENERS WILL NEVER UNDERSTAND) bad blood, lwymd, don’t blame, dancing with our hands tied, the archer, breathe, you’re not sorry, the way I loved you, forever & always, should’ve said no, safe & sound- I could go on.

But I won’t because I wanna stay on topic and talk about betty. Now I have a number of songs from the folklore/evermore series that are for me catradora songs (we’ll get to that in a minute) but this one is… challenging. Because I could be like “yes, because [insert casual reason here]” or “no, because [insert casual reason here]” but I can’t because Taylor feeds her children well and there’s several aspects of this song I feel like should be considered.

This biggest one to be considered, for me, is the love triangle aspect. Folklore features at length the betty/james/Augustine love triangle, each of them having one main song on the album from their POV. Betty's is cardigan, augustine’s is august, and james’ is betty. (also I’m going to throw out the gender component for a second; I know taylor says that Betty is about a guy’s apology and I totally vibe with her reasons why she wanted to write a song about a boy apologizing BECAUSE HOW GREAT WOULD THAT BE?) The love triangle makes the application of Catradora iffy at best. Because it’s like, who would be who? I am going to go out on a limb and assume that you’re seeing Catra as James? I think that personality wise, Adora as Betty and Catra as James is not a stone’s throw away from fitting actually really well. Adora’s canon journey is one of coming to realize “I know what I want and I know that it’s okay to want it” and a big part of Catra’s arc is her being like “Well shit… there goes my plans. Kind of feeling like a dumbass rn” especially in s4/s5.

(That s4/s5 distinction is important; I’ll show why in a second)

But for me, there’s no augustine. Or one that’s obvious anyway. I never imagined that either Catra or Adora dated or even had any inclinations with anyone else during the five season run- that’s just my personal opinion, people are completely welcome to feel free to disagree. I don’t think Catra acted even out of distraction with Scorpia or DT, and I think Adora was so focused on being She Ra that when she wasn’t thinking about failing/abandoning Catra when she alloted time to do so, she was thinking about the crushing weight of her responsibilities. So you know, not that much time to get back out there. So I rule out what causes James to apologize in the first place- cheating.

Side note about James cheating- I’m pretty sure Taylor confirmed this, in the long pond studio sessions doc, when she’s telling Jack Antonoff (MY BOY JACK) and Aaron Dessner ( GRAMMY AWARD WINNING KING) that James “was a fool!” And James did sleep with Augustine as confirmed in august, but cardigan makes it seem like he was definitely dating Betty before the summer. Maybe Taylor took inspiration from friends and they “were on break.” I also believe that the kiss in the Heart is the first kiss, that Catra and Adora were never ‘together’ together before Adora found the sword and defected (again, that’s just an opinion, but Adora just looks so wonderfully gobsmacked), so…

We can rule out cheating, and I think we can accomplish this and still reserve the essential meaning of the song of “I did something wrong, I see that now, I apologize for doing it, and I still love you” by widening the lens of what the “did something wrong” was (or “did something bad” you know *wink*). In that wider lens really you could fit either Catra or Adora into the song, but I’m still going to assume Catra is the James in this scenario based on how much of her redemption arc is formed around her refusal to say sorry and then eventually doing so. Of course there is no standing your porchlight but rather standing while wrestling a bunch of murderous clones…. Hmm….

But there are some stupid friends! I wholeheartedly believe Catra is James because of the dissing of Betty’s friends. That’s what Catra does to Bow, Glimmer and the rebellion et al., for most of the show and by the end of s4 she has no friends for Adora to even mock (terrible and cruel of me, I know, but it’s true). Also I know people are like “he called her friends stupid and then expected betty to take him back?” but I scream sing the line “WILL YOU KISS ME ON THE PORCH IN FRONT OF ALL YOUR STUPID FRIENDS?” every time. It brings me serotonin.

Along those lines we can ask “Who’s Inez?” in this situation. When I think gossip no one from the show really comes to mind, well, expect for Double Trouble. But Double Trouble doesn’t ever speak to Adora about Catra. This happens vice-versa, and in Betty, James reveals that Inez told Betty he cheated on her.

I want to say something controversial… Glimmer comes to mind when I think “who’s the Inez?” And this is based off of two things: 1) Inez’s closeness to Betty, and 2) Inez drags James out to dry, rightfully so. And when I think of that I think of Glimmer screaming “Do one good thing in your life!” directly in Catra’s face. James gives Inez a bad wrap in Betty. Not cool James.

Of course there’s the pivotal, “would you tell me to go fuck myself?/ or lead me to the garden?” To me this a fun way of showing there’s vulnerability to what James is doing, so automatically I’m led to is the scene where Catra asks Adora to stay, or each time in s5 when Catra risks, basically an identity crisis to let Adora in how she really feels, but there’s always the potential that Adora could spurn her by not returning her feelings or rejecting her outright.

I think the best argument that can be made for “is betty a catradora song” can really be encapsulated by the lyric(s): “the worst thing that I ever did is what I did to you” and “the only thing I wanna do is make it up to you.” That is what about the song SCREAMS Catra to me. And yeah, it could be argued that Adora hurt Catra pretty brutally (Shadow Weaver makes that point EVEN THOUGH SHE HAD NO RIGHT TO) that she messed up by abandoning Catra- but Adora feels guilt for... literally breathing. Adora is the quintessential embodiment of “pick your battles, no that’s too many battles, put some back,” but Catra picked one battle first and foremost (yes, she had a few others but this was the one) and that was Adora. Everything that motivated her was surrounded around a narrative of surpassing Adora for a multitude of reasons, and because of that she pretty much hurts Adora every chance she gets after Promise. Adora is really Catra’s first casualty, it makes sense that she has to be her first apology. And I think that after being vibed checked back to back by DT and Glimmer and realizing “oh hey fuck, I’m still in love with her” and then almost dying just to not die because Adora saves her, I think much of Catra’s motivation shifts to “how to do I get Adora to want to stay?”

That’s my logic for how Betty could be a catradora song in canon. Now not all of my Taylor associations are with canon catradora, many of them do belong to uws catradora, because it’s a lot easier to apply the more modern details of Taylor’s songs to a modern au. The song Breathe is big that way. (it’s in Upper West Side, it’s the song Adora listens to and cries to after that first ride, I just never mentioned that it was taylor because my conditioned reaction to bringing up taylor is to have my head bit off with someone’s semi incorrect and slightly sexist opinion that I never, ever ask for) And this ask got me thinking about what it would look like if I applied not Catradora to Betty, but Betty to Catradora. What would it look like if Catra skateboarded and wore black lipstick, Adora wore a cardigan and they had homeroom together until Catra really messed up? What would it look like if they were seventeen when they admitted their feelings for each other instead of 21? What would it look like if they spent a summer fighting but dreaming of each other? What would their love story look like if Catra and Adora were in that town where Taylor envisioned this “same event that affected three people in different ways?”

I think it’d look something like this.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/31141973/chapters/76952048

what do you guys think?

quick but INCREDIBLY IMPORTANT thank you to @gimme-tea-bitch for helping me with this, being my beta, and listening to me talk about folklore/evermore.

#I am literally SHAKING as I post this you guys have no idea #like vibrating through a wall shaking #i've been working on this for like the past two months #and I know everyone wants cruel summer but my goblin brain is like #AHHHHHHHH WRITE A FOLKLORIAN AU FOR CATRA AND ADORA YOU KNOW YOU WANT TO #IT'S 23K WORDS NO ONE WILL NOTICE #this was supposed to go up with two parts but tbh with you guys i have high key been feeling when jenny slate said #'i don't get the love until something beautiful goes out'#please be gentle with me

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joneswuzhere · 3 years

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hello join me in thinking about some books and authors that are, or might be, part of s5′s intertextuality

5.10 in particular offered specific shout outs, and also u know i’m always wondering what might be ahead so i have some ideas on that:

- first, as mentioned in a previous ask post, i know i wasn’t alone in keeping an eye out for 5.10 parallels to the lost weekend (1945) the film that gave episode 1.10 its name and several themes - or to the 1944 book by charles r jackson which the film is based on

- s5 has not been shy about revisiting earlier seasons, especially s1. altho i feel that 1.10′s parallels to the lost weekend centered characters other than jughead (mostly betty), a 1.10-5.10 connection involving jughead and themes from jackson’s story (addiction, writers block, self reflection) seemed v possible if not inevitable

- but like,, , for a hot minute after the ep, i was really stumped on understanding how anything from the book or film could apply, even tho the pieces were almost all there

- jackson’s protagonist don birnam goes thru and comes out the other side of a harrowing days-long drinking binge that could be compared to jughead’s one-night hallucinogenic writing retreat

- but jughead is struggling primarily with traumatic memories, not addiction and self control like birnam. and tho drinking activates birnam’s creativity, it paralyzes his writing as he gets lost in fantasies; he’s never published anything. jughead’s drug trip recreates circumstances that already helped him write one successful book. even the rat that startles him mid-high doesn’t line up with birnam’s withdrawal vision of a dying mouse, symbolic of his horror at his own self-destruction thru alcohol

- and maybe the most visible discordance: in the film there’s a romantic motif around a typewriter. first it’s an object of shame; birnam’s failure to write, tied up with his drinking, makes him flee his relationship. he tries to pawn the typewriter for booze money and finally a gun when shooting himself feels easier than getting sober. but with the help of relentless encouragement from girlfriend helen, he quits drinking, commits to her, and focuses on typing out the story he’s dreamt of writing. rd goes so far to avoid setting any comparable scenario that jughead has brought a wholeass printer into the bunker so there can still be a physical manuscript to cover in blood by the end, even without his own typewriter. the subtle detail of his laptop bg image is a little less noticeable than his avoidance of betty’s gift

- tabitha might be closer to a parallel than jughead is, but she’s still no helen. both refuse to take advantage of the inebriated men in their care, but birnam takes advantage of helen, financially and emotionally. jughead refused a loan from the tate family and now has resolved to deal with his shit before he considers a relationship with tabitha. instead of helen’s relentless and unwelcomed attempts to get birnam sober, tabitha reluctantly agrees to help jughead trip safely bondage escape notwithstanding. she even helps him get the drugs.

- whatever potentials exist for parallels to jackson’s story, they were not explored for this episode. ok so why tf am i even talking about this? what was there instead?

- i have arrived at the point

- s5 has been revisiting s1, not directly but with a twist. and jughead’s agent samm pansky is back. u may recall, pansky is named for sam lansky

- jughead’s trip-thru-trauma is a story device tapped straight from lansky’s book ‘broken people’

- lansky is like if a millenial john rechy wrote extremely LA-flavored meta but just about himself no jk very like a modern successor to charles r jackson. both play with the boundary between memoir and fiction. lansky is gay; jackson wrote his lost weekend counterpart as closeted and remained closeted himself until only a few years before his death. both write with emotional clarity and self-scrutiny on the experiences of addiction, sobriety, and the surrounding issues of shame and self worth

- i feel like a fool bc after this ep i had been thinking about de quincey and his early writings on addiction (c.1800s), but i failed to carry the thought in the other direction, to contemporary writers in the genre, to make this connection sooner

- lansky’s second book, broken people, follows narrator ‘sam’, mid-20s, super depressed, hastled by his agent to write a decent follow-up to his first book, but too busy struggling with his self-worth and baggage from several past relationships. desperate, he takes up an offer to visit a new age shaman who promises to fix everything wrong with him in a matter of days. not to over simplify it but he literally spends a weekend doing psychedelics and hallucinating about his exes. jughead took note

- unless u want me to hurl myself into yet another dissertation about queer jughead, i think his parallel to sam - who, unlike jughead, has considerable financial privilege and whose anxieties center on body dysmorphia, hiv scares, and his own self-centeredness - pretty much ends there

- But,, the gist of the book could not be more harmonius with a major theme shared by the 2 films that inform the actual hallucination part of jughead’s bunker scene: mentally reframing past relationships to get closure + confronting trauma head-on in order to move forward

- so that’s neat. what other book and author stuff was in 5.10?

- stephen king and raymond carver get name dropped. i’m passingly familiar with them both but u bet i just skimmed their wiki bios in case anything relevant jumped out

- like jughead, carver was a student (later a lecturer) at the iowa writers workshop. also the son of an alcoholic and one himself

- i recall carver’s ‘what we talk about when we talk about love’ is what jughead was reading in 2.14 ‘the hills have eyes’ after he finds out about the first time betty kissed archie (at that time he does not respond as would any of carver’s characters)

- this collection of carver stories deals especially with infidelity, failings of communication, and the complexities and destructiveness of love. to unashamedly quote the resource that is course hero, ‘carver renders love as an experience that is inherently violent bc it produces psychic and emotional wounds.’ very fun to wonder about the significance of this collection within the s2 episode and in jughead’s thoughts. and maybe now in the context of the s5 state of relationships. or, at least, the state of jughead’s writing as seen by his agent

- anyway pansky doesn’t want carver, he wants stephen king

- i have too much to say about gerald’s game in 5.10, that’s getting its own post someday soon

- lol wait king’s wife is named tabitha uhhh king’s wiki reminded me of his childhood experience that possibly inspired his short story ‘the body’ (+1986 movie ‘stand by me’) when he ‘apparently witnessed one of his friends being struck and killed by a train tho he has no memory of the event’

- no mention of that in this rd episode but memories of a train could be interesting to consider with the imagery that intrudes on jughead’s hallucination. i still feel like it was a truck but the lights and sounds he experiences may be a train

- ok now we’re in the speculation part of today’s segment

- if jughead’s traumatic memory involves trains, then it’s possible this plot will take influence from la bête humaine <- this 1938 movie is based on the 1890 novel by french writer émile zola. this story deals with alcoholism and possessive jealousy in relationships, sometimes leading to murder. huh, kind of like carver. zola def comes down on the nature side of the nature-vs-nuture bad seed question (tho i should say he approaches this with great or maybe just v french compassion). also i can’t tell if this is me reaching but, something about la bête humaine reminds me of king’s ‘secret window’ which we’ve observed to be at least a style influence on jughead post time jump

- but wow a late-19th century french writer would be a random thing to drop into this season, right? then again zola also wrote about miners, which we’ve learned are an important part of this town’s history + whatever hiram is up to this time. and most notably, zola wrote ‘j’accuse...!’ an open letter in defense of a soldier falsely accused and unlawfully jailed for treason: alfred dreyfus. archie’s recent army trouble comes to mind.

- since the introduction of old man dreyfuss (plausibly Just a nod to close encounters actor richard dreyfuss, but also when is anything in this show Just one thing) i’ve been wondering if these little things could add up to a season-long reference to zola’s writings. but i had doubts and didn’t want to speak on it too soon bc, u know, it’s weird but is it weird enough for riverdale??

- however,,,

- (come on, u knew where i was going with this)

- a24′s film zola just came out. absolutely no relation to the french writer, it’s not based on a book but an insane and explicit twitter thread by aziah ‘zola’ wells about stripping and? human trafficking?? this feels ripe for rd even outside the potentials here for the lonely highway/missing girls plot.

- that would add up to a combination of homage that feels natural to this show

- anyway pls understand i’m just having fun speculating, most of this is based on nothing more concrete than the torturous mental tendril ras has hooked into my skull pls let go ras pls let go

#accompanying image has no meaningful organization it's just there to make me look insane. enjoy #riverdale speculation #filmref #but books #adhd has me like. this is Not the post i've been trying to write for weeks but my brain gave me no choice

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fingerglow · 4 years

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I’ve been meaning to post this for a while, so here we go! Here’s the reasoning for some of the main characters in my She-Ra AU Fic (not all of them), including some that haven’t been shown yet. If you want to read it, it’s on my pinned post.

S5 and OTK spoiler free!

Part 1/?

Agatha: Adora. Both were raised in an environment where they were expected to work and excel on the villainous side, only to end up having a destiny as one of the biggest forces of Good in their world. It took them a while to feel like they belonged on the Good side, and both have self-worth issues where they believe they need to risk themselves and their happiness for everyone else to succeed. While I know a lot of people would’ve preferred Tedros to be Adora due to the blond, dumb jock character type, I can’t see him in this position.

Hester: Catra. Admittedly this was mostly because I’m a sucker for Agaster, and because I fangirled over @tedros-is-helpless ‘s SGE redraw of the prom scene, but I can’t think of a single character who matches her personality better than Hester. She’s incredibly attached to her friends but is also short-tempered and finds the respect she craves through power. While doing so, she starts to view the people helping her as “henchmen” and doesn’t realise the hurt she causes them until it’s pointed out, and from that point on she starts to reform. I mean, Hester got the whole year to try and kill Sophie in the first book just to get in the highest position of power she could. Not to mention her general lack of respect towards everyone except the people she loves, and around them, she’s vulnerable and teasing. She’s just so perfect for the role.

Tedros: Glimmer. Both are rather stubborn, headstrong heirs to the throne that are not fully trusted by the people running their kingdoms. While perfectly capable of being good leaders, they’re both slightly immature and quick to judge by appearances, while also very quick to be fooled by the enemy. Desperate to prove themselves, but end up messing up by doing so. Also, mommy issues. And daddy issues as well, actually.

Sophie: Bow. While there are very tenuous links between these two characters, the main protagonist trio wouldn’t be complete without Sophie, would it? Asides from that, both Bow and Sophie are kind of the third-wheel friend of the group. While everyone is focused on the relationship between the two others, they both go rather unnoticed while still trying to maintain close friendship with the ones they love. They’re both incredibly smart and cunning (Bow contributes to the plans more than anyone else does) and don’t always find it easy to forgive others.

Anadil: Entrapta. Both came from royal/regal families and backgrounds but weren’t viewed the same as the other people of their status and so found their companions in non-humans. They’re both very analytical and not necessarily led by their emotions or what is seen as “morally correct”, and find their place among the villainous side due to their close friends there.

Dot: Scorpia. Does this really need explanation? Underrated friend in a group of close-knit villains who is perceived as loving them unconditionally despite the constant abuse towards her. They’re both heirs to a powerful position in a kingdom that ended up being inhabited by Nevers/Horde Soldiers. Only there because her older relative bribed Hordak, has immense power, and stands up for herself when she knows her friends have gone too far. Absolute cinnamon roll, deserves the world and is my girlfriend.

I’ve got a match for every character in the show I think, so I’ll probably post more, but in the meantime y’all should go read the first chapter! Please! I need validation!

#the school for good and evil #school for good and evil #sge #soman chainani #tsfgae #tsgae

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caltropspress · 4 years

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FEEDBACK LOOP #1: Armand Hammer’s “Flavor Flav”

What are the Black purposes of space travel?

—Amiri Baraka, “Technology & Ethos”

Black futurism is a temporally troubled matrix Black futurism is a temporally troubled matrix that thrives on opposites and oppositions, flowing lines and nonlinearity, conflict resolution and asymmetrical warfare. It prefers the mad dash on shifting sands while in pursuit of higher ground and safe havens.

—Greg Tate, “Kalahari Hopscotch, or Notes Toward a 20 Volume History of Black Science and Afrofuturism”

Welcome aboard our spaceship, it’s so nice to have you here. —Newcleus, “Space is the Place”

Who, constructing the house of himself or herself, not for a day but for all times, sees races, eras, dates, generations, The past, the future, dwelling there, like space, inseparable together. —Walt Whitman

I’m so tired of being forced to promote the myth of white supremacy by performing works by old white men like Whitman who said blacks...didn’t have a place in the future of America. —Timothy McNair

Today is the shadow of tomorrow, today is the future present of yesterday, yesterday is the shadow of today. —Sun Ra, “Secrets of the Sun”

This highly allusive track from billy woods and ELUCID toys with itself—that is, allusions are a figurative means of collapsing time in and of themselves. Past and present history & culture don’t contend so much as support one another. A set of stilts to do the Dance of Death on, if you will. “Start downhill running.” The Seventh Seal hilltop silhouette danse macabre steez, though. The whooshing, metal-creaking beat—with all its haunted psithurism charm—is the backdrop for this sleeper Shrines track.

The name “Flavor Flav” is used metonymically here to mean time. This isn’t a braggadocio, low-key threat in the spirit of OC’s “Time’s Up.” This isn’t a Grandmaster Flashian “You Know What Time It Is” (though the hands on the clock tower do spin clockwise and counter-). Neither is this a Kool Moe Dee-esque rhetorical “Do You Know What Time It Is?” Armand Hammer are frustrated by time, by the “ideals and dreams that don’t work.” woods laments his “time machine [that] don’t go backwards.” This no-good lemon of a H.G. Wells contraption he’s steering. This isn’t some Christopher Lloyd-cum-El-Producto Delorean. There’s no Great Scotting going on, just stubbornness.

Progress isn’t made. Time stagnates. Like the “list of ill-fated quick licks under ’frigerator magnets.” And that “school trip permission slip”—likely a bus ride to a museum: a carefully curated collection of artifacts, most notable for its colonial muscling. The question remains: What is left out? What is excluded? What is ignored, discarded, or co-opted so as to not withstand the test of time? woods’ short-i assonance speeds the delivery up only to slow it down:

billy woods, son of a revolutionary, redefines Afrofuturism (re-re-re-defines—its brilliance is in how it remakes itself unconditionally). Afrofuturism becomes about birthing the next generation of Black revolutionaries, so he subverts the line and expectations when “big hand captured” refers to the clock, but “little man [not hand] chasin’” refers to a youngin. (Try to keep up.) Put the faith in the youth when our “ideals and dreams” stall out—when the days, months, years are fleeting and forceful (“It do tick faster / The hour coming rough”). The spliff that’s “[skinned] like an onion” turns the cypher into Perrault fairy tale “pumpkin,” Cinderella style.

“Don’t come ’round with that ‘Go slow’” is in conversation with Nina Simone’s “Mississippi Goddam,” of course. It’s Nina who said “[she] can’t stand the pressure much longer,” who objected to those who “keep on saying ‘Go slow,” who had her band ironically chanting Do it slow. billy woods, like Nina Simone, decries reformism, incrementalism. Don’t do things gradually. We’re at the point where Nina stands up from her piano bench and shouts That’s it!

Forego the telephoto lenses, he insists, this is the “Battle of Algiers with the GoPro.” Urban guerrilla warfare uploaded and disseminated via YouTube. Again, time collapses. The struggle to decolonize continues. Watch for the This video is no longer available dead-end.

billy woods’ Nietzschean “loathing and fear” reverses the hallucinogenic time-warp of Thompson’s (and, in filmic relation, Gilliam’s) Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas. “History is hard to know,” Thompson writes, “because of all the hired bullshit, but even without being sure of ‘history’ it seems entirely reasonable to think that every now and then the energy of a whole generation comes to a head in a long fine flash.” That flash will reappear in ELUCID’s verse.

If “all roads lead to Rome,” we’re settling into the inevitability of our moves. It’s a fatalistic shrug, but homophonically, all roads lead to roam—that is, the journey is prolonged interminably. It’s nomadic. Much static. So, naturally, you’re going to “[shake] the hourglass like a snowglobe,” distort time, and splurge on the “JC Penny Timex,” which is appropriately “flooded with rhinestones.” Flooded, because no more water: the fire next time. Don’t “lose track” and don’t “get trapped in the future.”

The chorus quotes the Rolling Stones’ “Time is On My Side,” but it ain’t that simple, no. The history is as messy as we’ve come to expect amerikan music to be. “Time is On My Side” was originally penned by Norman Meade (Jerry Ragovoy), and trombonist Kai Winding first recorded it. Jimmy Norman, a Black songwriter, fleshed out the lyrics significantly, and Irma Thomas recorded that version in the same year as the Stones. The song followed a path similar to that of “Strange Fruit”—a composition written by a white Jewish man under a pseudonym (Abel Meeropol as Lewis Allan) but popularized by a Black female jazz singer (Billie Holiday). As author Jess Row has said about jazz—hip-hop applies, too—it is “by its very nature multi-racial, intermingled, and collaborative across color lines.” But this cognizance must always be contextualized with views of Black artists like that of Art Blakey: “the only way the Caucasian musician can swing is from a rope.” Hip-hop has always had its Paul Cs and Rick Rubins, but the racial heterogeneity of a genre, or even a single recording, can’t cloak the power dynamics still in play. The Stones’ version of “Time is On My Side”—undoubtedly the most popular version—is a rip-off of Irma Thomas’ version. Mick Jagger even jacks Thomas’ ad-libs, which is to say, her rawness and spontaneity. Even the band’s shadowed faces on the cover of 12 x 5, the album on which the track appears, suggest the racial problematics, the minstrelsy heist. Armand Hammer mock the British Invasion blues filchers by adding “they” to the chorus line: “They said time is on my side.” They being white institutions (especially within music publishing, production, and recording industries) who promised enough airtime for everyone. They who urged patience. (Go slow!) But, as history shows, the profits only lined certain pockets.

ELUCID begins at the “golden hour,” which is both the photogenic beauty of the sky after sunrise and before sunset—a beauty too good to behold. It’s the sun glare shining in your face on the winter commute from work. It’s your high-speed accident and then the golden hour is the paramedics and doctors trying to salvage your corporeal existence. ELUCID’s verse is a hypnagogic jerk, gasping for breath as he takes a “portal to Orangeburg, ’68.” It’s a reference to the campus shooting of young people in protest—South Carolina State University. Unlike Kent State, which came afterwards, Orangeburg didn’t get the attention keening white women in Pulitzer Prize-winning photographs do, despite “live ammunition,” three dead, 28 injured, and “nine acquitted assassins.” Unnoticed. Black invisibility. Not that H.G. Wells type of invisibility—the Ralph Ellison kind.

We’re told what this is: it’s the aggregate stress (“the load of the allostatic”) of Black life. It’s one’s personal Extinction Agenda, the “post-traumatic” of the gunfire “flashes” that double as flashbacks. The pain, stress, the brain that can’t rest, the pressure on the chest.

“The center won’t hold” lets us know this isn’t all PTSD reverie—it’s a rebel poem: surely some revolution is at hand. ELUCID channels Achebe channeling Yeats. Things might fall apart but not without struggle. The “Flavor Flav clock spins centrifugal,” as a gyre, as an apocalyptic (91…) voice. Turning and returning. The words have an air of insurrection, proclamation.

He misses “watching how a flat circle fold”—it won’t budge, won’t wrinkle. We’ve been here before: on “Hunter,” on Paraffin, when billy woods was on that “time is a flat circle” shit. That Nietzsche eternal recurrence shit:

What, if some day or night a demon were to steal after you into your loneliest loneliness and say to you: “This life as you now live it and have lived it, you will have to live once more and innumerable times more; and there will be nothing new in it, but every pain…will return to you. […] The eternal hourglass of existence is turned upside down again and again, and you with it, speck of dust!

“Can you find the level of difficulty in this?” suggests game playing, arcades. Calls to mind more Walter Benjamin’s Arcades, though. billy woods and ELUCID are gleaners and magpies of cultural cadavers in Benjamin’s way. Their bars are play and critique both. We’re left with a modicum of optimism at the song’s end. Even “only [moving] the pen six inches” is something, is struggle. The “pale faces beyond the fire” are ever-present, though. The “flinching, panic, [and] confusion” are committed to continue.

Is it the fool or the insurgent who thinks time is on their side? We want the life we live to be “more brilliant than a sunbeam.” That’s to say, we don’t want to wait for the golden hour or the golden years. We want what they say we can’t have. We want what they say we shouldn’t imagine. But Armand Hammer helps us take solace in the “drum skin stretched”—the rhythm, the rebel. The oft-quoted Douglass gem, If there is no struggle, there is no progress, is played out for a reason. The reason is because it needs to be played again, and again. Like a mantra, like a song.

Images:

Sun Ra’s Space is the Place (screenshot) | Flavor Flav (detail), courtesy of archivist Sean Stewart | Grandmaster Flash “You Know What Time It Is” music video (screenshot) | Kool Moe Dee “Do You Know What Time It Is?” single cover | Nina Simone live at Antibes Juan-les-Pins Jazz Festival 1965 (screenshot) | The Battle of Algiers (screenshot) | The Rolling Stones 12 x 5 album cover | Flavor Flav, courtesy of Stewart

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pertinax--loculos · 4 years

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Charade

|| cuz all we are is what we're told / and most of that's been lies ||

[WIP: Hellbent]

Words: 1833

POV: Raleigh

Content Warnings: drug use (pills)

Context: Raleigh has Dash hidden in his pool house after Dash suffered an incident the previous night. Jasper has just warned him that Kennedy and Monica are on their way to see him.

Notes: Takes place very early in the Plot - this is only Raleigh's fourth or fifth interaction with Dash. And say hi to Kennedy! Unfortunately like 95% of her arc is spoileriffic, so I can't post a lot about her atm. :(

First draft, excuse typos and the fact I'm freaking in love with filler words etc etc. Also can't cut for the moment cuz can't figure out how to do read mores on mobile and don't have a computer eeeeek

Also related to this post.

***

[Raleigh] broke off as he heard the crunch of gravel from the front of the pool house. "That'll be them," he said. "Look, I've told them you're my cousin from out of town and you got into some trouble last night so I had to hide you down here. Okay?" He fumbled with the sliding door's latch, sudden anxiety making his fingers cumbersome.

"Them?" Dash sounded nonplussed.

"Kennedy and her friend Monica," Raleigh said over his shoulder, ducking back into the house just as there was a rap on the front door.

He took a moment just before he opened it, forcing the nervousness down and away and plastering a smile on his face.

"Hey guys!"

Kennedy smiled back as Monica weaved a little, clearly trying to look past him into the house. "Hey. Were you expecting us?"

"Yeah, Jaz called to let me know." He heard the porch door slide shut and stepped back, waving them in. "Sorry for all the secrecy, it's just if Mum and Dad find out what happened I'll never hear the end of it."

"What did happen?" Kennedy said. Raleigh managed to block Monica as she tried to dodge around them in the narrow hall.

"Um, it's kinda a long story," he said. "He got in, uh, kinda a scrape, so his face is a bit messed up. Just don't say anything, okay?"

That got him two skeptical looks; he decided to distract them before the questions started, striding into the main room.

"Anyway, guys, this is Daniel. Daniel, this is Kennedy, my girlfriend, and Monica. Another friend from College."

Kennedy stepped past him to approach Dash, who was watching her with an odd intensity. He ignored Monica as she joined Kennedy in front of him.

"Nice to meet you," Kennedy said cordially.

"Pleasure." Dash managed to make the word sound like the exact opposite of its meaning. Raleigh ran a hand through his hair to stop himself burying his face in his hands.

"Any family of Raleigh's is a friend of ours," Monica chirped, apparently oblivious to the tension crackling between the other two. She crept further into Kennedy's personal space, forcing Dash to drag his eyes away from Kennedy to her. "So what brings you to town?"

"Oh, y'know." Dash shrugged and swiped a hand over his face. "Church business."

"Oh?" Monica sounded unduly curious, nudging Kennedy away as she put herself more directly in his eyeline. "What kind?"

Raleigh opened his mouth to interject but Dash beat him to it.

"Our Chapter has been having a bit of trouble with our brainbent institution. Nothing serious, not yet, but Archbishop Nielsen is getting a bit concerned. Carcerum is not only the biggest institution in the country, but it's also the best run and the most secure. I'm in the process of being inducted into the Brotherhood, so Deacon Anthony decided that part of my exam would be to come over here and have a look at how Deacon McCarthy runs things, see if there's any procedures we could adopt to improve security."

Raleigh was glad the girls had their back to him, because he wasn't able to keep the shock off his face. He snapped his mouth closed but continued to stare at Dash incredulously. Not only was the story entirely feasible, but Dash had used absolutely perfect terminology and just the right combination of exasperated respect to sell the idea that, despite his apparent misbehaviour of the previous night, he was still a devout Member. If Raleigh didn't know better even he would've been fooled.

Dash's eyes found his over Kennedy's shoulder, and he smirked.

"Plus, I've picked up a few... bad habits, in recent years. I think Priest Canton is hoping that spending time with Raleigh will help."

Monica leaned forward. "Oh, I'm sure they're not all bad." She lowered her voice confidentially. "I could take some time to show you around, if you like. Show you... the ropes."

Raleigh seriously doubted Dash could miss the subtext of the suggestion. It was barely even subtext. He chewed the inside of his cheek, wondering how on earth he was going to mitigate this disaster. Everything he had learned about non-Members and their tendency for promiscuity leapt to the forefront of his mind. There was no way Dash would turn down an offer like that, and how on earth Raleigh would even begin to explain to Monica who he actually was-

"Thanks for the offer," Dash said. "But I'm good." He looked over her shoulder at Raleigh again. "Shall we go? I doubt the Deacon will be happy if I'm late."

Raleigh blinked. That was unexpected. It took him a couple of moments to find his voice. "Uh, yeah, sure. That's fine. Kennedy?"

He touched her elbow and she turned towards him, a slight frown on her face.

"Is that okay? If I drop... Daniel off at Carcerum first?"

"Hmm?" Kennedy stared at him for a beat before her expression cleared. "Oh, yeah, that's fine. It's not super urgent."

"Okay." Raleigh smiled at her and leaned in to press his lips to hers.

After a couple of moments the sound of a door slamming startled them apart. Raleigh glanced around the room, confused.

"Where's D- where'd he go?"

Monica was watching them with her arms crossed, an impatient look on her face. "He stalked out. Apparently he isn't a huge fan of the PDA either." She grinned suddenly. "He's so interesting! How come you've never mentioned him before?"

Raleigh rubbed the back of his neck. "Oh, y'know. It's hard to stay in touch sometimes. I've got enough family in town, if I tried to keep track of the out of town ones as well even I'd be hopelessly lost."

Out of the corner of his eye he saw a line form between Kennedy's brows again, but at least Monica seemed satisfied with his answer. "Fair enough. You have to give me his number though. Obviously he's paranoid about his Archbishop finding out he was goofing off, but if I can catch him at a more appropriate time..." She wiggled her eyebrows.

Kennedy swatted her arm. "My goodness Monica, you are hopeless. Come on, we'd better let Ra take care of his responsibilities. See you at the dorms?"

This last was addressed to Raleigh; he nodded, not quite trusting his voice, and followed them from the house.

Monica beelined directly for Dash, who was slouched against the hood of Raleigh's car, looking at his phone. He glanced up briefly in acknowledgement when she halted in front of him.

"So nice to meet you, Daniel," she said, holding a hand out to him. "I hope you get to stick around for a while."

Dash's gaze was still cool, but he shook her hand. "We'll see."

Kennedy leaned towards Raleigh. "He's a bit rude, don't you think?"

Raleigh shrugged a little, fishing his keys out of his pocket. "Honestly, I barely know him," he said. "Just doing the familial obligation thing. Though he was more relaxed with just the two of us. Maybe you guys make him nervous?"

Kennedy hummed a little, that tiny frown back on her face. Then she shook her head sharply and kissed his cheek. "See you soon."

"Sure will."

Raleigh watched both of them get into Kennedy's small red convertible, keeping his eye on that until it disappeared around the bend in the driveway, before he finally looked back at Dash.

He was watching him; to Raleigh's surprise he looked away before their eyes met. "We going or what?"

Raleigh unlocked the car and took a deep breath, tamping down his frustration and confusion before he angled in next to Dash.

"What the heck was that?" he said as he started down the driveway.

Out of the corner of his eye he saw Dash glance at him. He was still and silent for a beat before he shifted, reaching into his pocket and pulling out his pill bottle. "What was what?"

All of it. Raleigh stopped at the end of the driveway to look at him. Dash steadfastly avoided his gaze, his entire focus on tapping a number of pills out into his palm.

Baby steps. He still barely knew Dash, and there could be myriad reasons for his sudden caginess. Up to and including Kennedy and Monica's abrupt appearance genuinely making him nervous.

Raleigh pulled out onto the street. "Your story about the assignment for the Church. Where on earth did that come from?"

Dash threw the handful of pills into his mouth and helped himself to the bottle of water Raleigh kept in the cup holder. "Know your enemy."

"Know your- Dash, that was way more than just stuff you might've picked up that you thought could help someday. The Nielsens are a huge family, and I know there's at least one Archbishop among them. You didn't just pull that out of thin air."

Dash shrugged. He was facing away from Raleigh, staring out the window. "Or maybe your cult's whole hierarchy just isn't as unique or hard to figure out as you think it is."

Raleigh bristled at the word cult, biting down hard on the inside of his cheek to stop himself snapping. If he didn't want to talk about it, fine, but Raleigh wasn't going to be baited into starting an argument.

They were quiet for a few blocks.

"So, uh," Raleigh said, when the silence got too much for him, "What about Monica? I thought you'd jump at the chance to... you know, enjoy yourself."

Dash chuckled, a low, confidential sound that made Raleigh's fingers tighten involuntarily around the steering wheel. "She's not my type."

Raleigh glanced at him incredulously. "The totally hot chick who is clearly into you isn't your type? What, you mean you're one of those guys who only goes for blondes or something?"

Dash finally looked at him, and behind his bewilderment Raleigh was relieved to see the corner of his mouth quirking up. "Not exactly."

"Okay..." Raleigh frowned, trying to parse his meaning. "So what is it? Is she too tall? Too skinny?"

"It has nothing to do with body type." Dash was really amused now, laughing at some joke Raleigh wasn't in on.

"So what does it have to do with?" Raleigh eased the car to the curb in front of Dash's mansion, turning to look at him properly. His grin was infuriatingly wide.

"Like I said." Dash put his hand on the door handle. "Not my type. Thanks for the ride." He pushed the door open and climbed quickly out of the car.

Raleigh wound his window down. "Hey!"

Dash turned and raised an eyebrow at him.

"You're really not gonna tell me? You're just gonna, what, disappear and make me guess?"

"Damn straight, Pretty Boy." Dash winked at him and disappeared into the house.

Raleigh stared after him in utter bemusement for far too long, before he finally put the car back in gear and headed to the College.

#WIP:Hellbent #original writing #writeblr #excerpt #writing #will cut first chance i have to get to a PC #so sorry for the length guys :(#should be fixed by tomorrow

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im-just-here-for-the-drama · 7 years

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Gay Characters in Kdramas: The Good, The Bad, and The Mediocre

Gay characters rarely show up in Korean dramas. Though there have been a few characters over the years, In terms of representation, the characterization and stories of these characters are usually nothing to write home about, but I figured, why not write about it anyway? Here’s my watch and don’t watch list, if you’re looking for gay characters in kdramas.

Warning for spoilers galore!

The Mediocre (these aren’t bad, but they’re not the best either)

Lily Fever (2015)

The Story: Kyung Ju heads to her friends house one day to find her missing passport. She finds Se Rang instead.

Should You Watch?: Sure. This show is quirky and just downright odd. The ending leaves a lot to be desired and the story itself is kind of all over the place, but it’s cute, it’s funny, it’s short, most of it’s nonsense, and the girls have lots of chemistry. It’s only a bonus that Se Rang is a standout character of this show. You’ll probably fall for her yourself by the end of the webseries.

The Lover: Joon Jae and Takuya (2015)

The Story: Different couples live together in an apartment building. The show shows us snippets of their lives. Joon Jae’s life gets turned upside down when he meets his new roommate Takuya.

Should You Watch?: Hmmm...yeah. I started watching this show expecting it would showcase the typical Korean bromance between the guys. The kind where the show makes it seem like the guys might have feelings for each other, but the show just skirts around the topic entirely. In the first few episodes, that’s exactly what happened between Joon Jae and Takuya (with a lot of sex jokes and penis jokes thrown in for good measure. That’s actually what most of the show is). But the show eventually, actually, went there. Joon Jae and Takuya don’t get a whole lot of screen time, but when they do, we get to see some serious feelings thrown in with all the crass humor, and Joon Jae and Takuya do admit to having feelings for one another. The ending could have been a little better, but it was a happy one, so baby steps.

Perseverance Goo Hae Ra: Jang Goon (2015)

The Story: A group of rag tags come together to form a band. Jang Goon joins the band and meets their manager Tae Poong who he’s had a crush on for years.

Should You Watch?: Only if you’re interested in the rest of the show. Jang Goon has a fairly interesting storyline. He has a friend who accepts him after finding out about his crush and he has to rebuild bridges with his father who doesn’t accept him doing music (and Jang Goon’s scared he wont accept his being gay either). But Jang Goon’s storyline is such a small part of the story it wouldn’t be worth it to skip through to only his parts.

Daughters of Club Bilitis (2011)

The Story: A one episode drama detailing the lives of four lesbian couples.

Should You Watch?: I watched this so long ago, I honestly don’t remember a single shred of what happened in it, but I’ll say yes, watch it. Because there are so few lesbians in asian dramas you have to watch the one’s that exist. The entire show is about lesbians, so I mean, why not?

Reply 1997: Jun Hee (2012)

The Story: The lives of a group of high school students in the year1997. Jun Hee has a crush on his friend Yoon Jae.

Should You Watch?: Yes and no. The Reply Series (Reply 97/94/88) are pretty good dramas after all. They’re great for nostalgia, family, friendship, and the like, but if you’re here solely for the gay? Probably not worth the time. Jun Hee’s a side character. We see him crushing on Yoon Jae and he confesses his feelings to Yoon Jae and another friend, but there’s not too much more than that.

Seonam girls high school investigators: Eps 11-12 (2014)

The Story: High School girls investigate and solve problems in their school. The show is episodic and in these two episodes the girls attempt to help Su Yeon and Eun Bin who have to hide their relationship from their classmates.

Should You Watch?: Yes. I honestly don’t remember much about this one either, but I do remember it being decently done. This show caused a lot of controversy years ago when it aired Korea’s first lesbian kiss ( probably korea’s first same sex kiss period that was a legitimate kiss and not used for laughs). It’s worth checking out to see what caused all the ridiculous uproar.

Wise Prison Life/Prison Playbook: Han Yang (2017)

The Story: Big time baseball player Kim Je Hyuk turns into a crimanal overnight. After he’s convicted, he has to face his new life in prison. He meets some interesting people in prison. Among them is the drug addict Han Yang.

Should You Watch?: Yes, because the story itself is a really interesting take about a man who goes to prison, meets a lot of different, people, and ultimately makes new friends/family. If you’re just watching for the gay? I’d still have to say yes, despite the fact that Han Yang doesn’t get the happy ending he deserved. Han Yang was one of my favorite characters in this show. I don’t know how he managed it, but I swear Han Yang got funnier as the episodes passed. I was really endeared towards him attempting to kick his drug habit while also trying to salvage his relationship with his ex-boyfriend Ji Won. He had such an interesting story arc, was such an entertaining character, and I didn’t feel like the show ever made fun of him for being gay. This character was just such a joy to watch, I definitely don’t regret watching, even though I wanted more.

Moment at Eighteen: Jung Oh Je (2019)

The Story: Transfer student Jun Woo has no interest in school life, as he is traumatized from being expelled from bullying. Meanwhile, Soo Bin has been watching Jun Woo all this time. She sees a different side to Jun Woo than the one that other people see. Oh Je, is Jun Woo’s best friend who starts to discover his sexuality.

Should you watch?: Hmmm… sure. Oh Je has a decent side plot. It was interesting to see him figuring out he liked Hwi Young and coming out to his ex girlfriend and his friends. I do wish his story was expanded a little more though. There were several things I would have liked to have seen, like coming out to his family, and I thought they wrapped his story up a little too quickly at the end.

Love with Flaws: Won Suk and Ho Dol (2019)

The Story: Joo Seo Yeon, is a hot-tempered physical education high school teacher who always wears sneakers, jeans and training uniforms. The death of her parents helped instill a deep sense of compassion, a generous heart and an outspoken objection for anyone who drinks and drives. Living in a house with three wild and very attractive brothers, she loathes flower boys. Her ideal type is someone who is “not handsome.” Won Suk is one of her handsome older brothers.

Won Suk has closed his heart to relationships and love, but he lives his life as an openly gay man. Ho Dol is closeted and lacks confidence. They meet one night at Won Suk’s bar.

Should you watch?: People have been kind enough to condense Won Suk’s and Ho Dol’s story into parts on YouTube so yeah, go ahead and check it out.

These two don’t get a whole lot of screen time, but the little they do get is nice. We get to see Won Seok help Ho Dol open up and be more confident with who he is and in turn, Won Seok opens up his heart.

The Bad (you probably shouldn’t waste your time on these ones)

Personal Taste: Director Choi (2010)

The Story: This dramas about a straight guy who pretends to be gay in order to gain access to the blueprints of a woman’s house…or something like that. Director Choi’s specific story revolves around his attempts at courting that guy.

Should You Watch?: Absolutely not. Half of the time the drama equates being a gay man to automatically being feminine, a woman, or not a “real man”. Director Choi is also a good deal older than the male lead and makes several attempts at courting him even though he’s not interested. It kind of came off as the “creepy old gay perv” and that didn’t sit well with me. I suppose you could skim through the drama to watch Director Choi’s scenes. If sad gay men Is your thing. I just felt bad for the guy most of the time.

Ho Gu’s Love: Kang Chul (2015)

The Story: Ho Gu’s a pushover, a fool, and kind of an idiot. He meets his old classmates and things get a complicated. One day in High School Kang Chul meets Ho Gu’s twin sister and mistakes her for Ho Gu. They spend the day together and she kisses him. The kiss sparks feelings in Kang Chul. Of course Kang Chul thinks it was Ho Gu who kissed him and years later, when he meets Ho Gu his feelings grow stronger.

Should You Watch?: Yes? Maybe? If you really want to, but mostly…no. With this, I expected that the typical drama set up would happen. Similar to all gender benders, Kang Chul would find out that it wasn’t Ho Gu he kissed. So any feelings he was having for him would immediately get swept under the rug where we could all pretend we never knew his heart fluttered for another man. Imagine my surprise when episode after episode passed and that didn’t happen. We got down to the last few episodes and Kang Chul had admitted to himself that he liked Ho Gu, he came out to his parents, and his coworkers assumed he was gay. The show was actually depicting the struggles of being gay in Korea and it was arguably one of the better storylines for a gay character on Korean t.v., but then the show couldn’t stay strong and they flipped the script. Predictably, Kang Chul finds out it was Ho Gu’s sister he kissed, the show copped out, and lo and behold Kang Chul was straight with no further mentions of any other possible sexuality. Watch it if you’re curious, but be prepared to be extremely disappointed by the end.

Graceful Family: Mo Wan Joon (2019)

The Story: Blah blah blah, revenge or something- at a point it’s revealed that Mo Wan Joon is a trans woman.

Should you watch?: If you really like revenge melos maybe, but if you’re looking for this show to do something good and offer up some good trans rep? Nope.

Literally nothing about Mo Wan Joon’s story is watchable. I wasn’t even entirely sure the show even knows what being transgender even means. It comes off as more of a plot twist to put the family all in a tizzy more than anything else. They don’t really show much of Wan Joon’s struggle or anything poignant or engaging.

Sweet Munchies: Tae Wan (2020)

The Story: Jin Sung pretends to be a gay chef to film a tv show for money. Tae Hwan, a closeted fashion designer falls for him.

Should you watch?: No. "Everyone loved Personal Taste right? What if we just did that again but with a chef this time?" This could have been potentially groundbreaking, but by the end of the show the two leads are unlikable and we just wind up with more sad gay tears. But Lee Hak Joo as Tae Wan? *Chef's kiss*. This man put me through the wringer and he does it so subtly. If you must watch, literally skim through Tae Wan’s parts.

The Good (these are worth the hours of your life you wont get back)

Painter of the Wind (2008)

The Story: Shin Yoon Bok is a talented painter who disguises herself as a boy to search for her father's murderer and meets a master painter who guides her into being a great painter. Kim Hong Do is the man who teaches Yoon Bok how to paint, and they develop a strong friendship of mentor and disciple.

Should You Watch?: Yes. On the surface this sounds pretty straight, but ignore the summary, because yes there’s a loveline between Yoon Bok and her mentor, but the most interesting story here is the loveline between Yoon Bok and a Gisaeng she meets named Jeong Hyang I’ve seen plenty of gender benders, but I’ve never seen one where a woman falls in love with the girl who’s pretending to be a boy. This drama isn’t technically supposed to be gay, but it’s extremely gay when when bisexual Yoon Bok hits on the gisaeng the first time they meet. Yoon Bok finds herself falling in love with the Jeong Hyang too and the love between them comes off as extremely genuine and sincere. I don’t care what that show was trying to tell me, Yoon Bok/Jeong Hyang was the true otp.

Life is Beautiful: Tae Sub and Kyung Soo (2010)

The Story: A family drama about a blended family. The show focuses heavily on Tae Sub and his boyfriend Kyung Soo

Should You Watch?: Absolutely. In this drama we actually get to see a same sex couple. There’s not just one gay character or a situation where you have to read between the lines. Tae Sub and Kyung Soo are a gay couple who get to be together and happy and they get screentime! The show focuses on Tae Sub coming out to his family, his family's acceptance/non-acceptance, and Kyungsoo’s family’s non-acceptance as well. We get to see the guys work through their problems together and we get to see how they’re relationship changes and grows. My only complaint about this show is that it aired seven years ago and korea has shown little to no progress in terms of lgbt characters and couples in kdramas since.

Rural Outcasts (2019)

The Story: Sun Hui moves to a small village where she lives her life as Soon Ho until she can make enough money to become her true self. Dong Ja, a feisty 12 year old, breaks into her house one day.

Should you watch? Yes, although, heads up, there’s a cis man playing a trans woman. Found family always makes for a heartwarming story and this one is no different. I loved the bond between Dong Ja and Sun Hui and I loved their mother daughter relationship. Very sweet and heartwarming, but be prepared for some heartbreak too.

#gay characters in kdramas #korean #drama #life is beautiful #painter of the wind #ho gus love #personal taste #perseverance goo hae ra #daughters of club bilitis #seonam girls high school investigators #reply 1997 #the lover #lily fever #lgbt #wise prison life #prison playbook #love with flaws #moment at 18

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jaybug-jabbers · 4 years

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Bug Run 5: A Clean Victory

There was something I needed to do before going any further in this game.

I made a little visit to the Name Rater.

Truth is, I was never satisfied with the nickname I gave my Galvantula OR my Crustle. For Galvantula, it was just such a plain and common name, and she deserved better. For Crustle, her name was alright, but a little too long and awkward to say outloud, you know?

After christening the new names, we were prepared to tackle anything!

However, the moment I took a step toward my next destination, I ran into my rival. The encounter was a tad unnerving, which is the only reason I bother to mention it here. Tonka took care of my rival’s bird with Rollout just fine, so that wasn’t so bad. (Yes, I know. I still had Rollout. What can I say? It takes a while for Scoliopede to earn its better moves, and in the meantime, a rock move really is darn useful.)

It was Emboar that worried me. This was the first time I was facing it fully evolved, and the thing is damn intimidating even for a very balanced team, let alone a mono-bug one. My newly-named Crustle, Gaia, went toe-to-toe with the massive swine, dishing out Rock Slides. Emboar decided to use Rollout and start powering the move up on me. So that was a pretty scary moment. Thankfully, Gaia did not miss any of her Rock Slides, and the pig went down.The last foe, that water monkey, was trivial when I had a Leavanny with Leaf Blade.

The next gym we faced was the dragon-themed gym with Drayden. I noticed there was a big of a level jump with that gym, though, with just the gym trainers outlevelling my team. So I decided to do a little grinding beforehand. In our travels I taught Volcarona Psychic, because at this point, the poor moth’s moveset is still quite terrible. (It still had String Shot and Whirlwind, for pete’s sake.) I also taught my Galvantula Thunder and … well, Flash. I didn’t want to teach it Flash, but I was wandering around a cave attempting to reach some TMs. Sadly, a roadblock prevented me from ultimately getting the TM, but we’ll talk more about that later.

After a little training, the fight with Drayden wasn’t too bad. Ra took out Druddigon with Psychic, Green Bean got a 2HKO on Flygon with Leaf Blade– after a lucky miss with Flygon’s Rock Slide– and Tonka took on the big boy Haxorous with a combination of Toxic and Venoshocks.

After finishing off the dragon gym, we’re treating to another piece of the plot with Team Plasma. Some giant steampunky ship shoots ice cannons at the city, there’s a lot of running around and shouting over some “DNA Splicers,” and lots of grinding on Plasma grunts. The usual.

I MUST take important note of one event that took place in the midst of all this, though. As I was running back and forth between Pokecenters and the Plasma ship, I ran into a random trainer with just a Crustle. And it wiped out my entire team.

The problem had been it got off two Shell Smashes and I hadn’t been paying it close attention and was fooling about. So, naturally, it outsped everything and destroyed us with rocks. Also, I was super dumb and forgot my Galvantula had Sucker Punch. (Look, it was really late at night and I was tired and being stoop.)

Wounded by this experience, I took a lengthy side-quest to grind for Blue Shards by losing many times at the World Tournament (they give shards as consolation prizes) so I could visit the Move Tutor and give my Scolipede Superpower. This is actually only neutral on Crustle and in the end I still needed to use my own Crustle v. Crustle to take care of the foe cleanly, but. Still. Superpower would end up proving very important on my Scoliopede. I suspected as much, as it was excellent coverage for a team largely lacking coverage.

Anyway. I finally reached the Colress fight.

This was a fun one. I had to actually think very carefully about his team. Colress opens with a Magnemite that loves to thunder wave and then Volt Switch. I eventually decided to try equipping Green Bean with a Cheri Berry and getting up a Swords Dance. Then he just stubbornly hacked away with his Leaf Blade. This is a very difficult approach, but it was important for someone to take out the ‘easy’ pokemon so I could save my other pokes for the tougher ones. Colress used a Full Restore once on Magnemite, so after that, I did the same for Green Bean. Then continue with the Leaf Blades. Green Bean somehow barely takes two Flash Cannons to the face and finishes Magnemite off, in red health and paralyzed, but alive. He did a very good job.

Next, Magnezone came out. This one was for Tonka. Superpower brought it to the low yellow, and then Magnezone thunder waves. I have to take a big hit, but a second Superpower takes Magnezone out.

Beheeyem is the easiest for my team to cope with, being pure Psychic with low defense. It does Calm Mind, which can be scary, but I can easily take it out before it does anything awful; Gaia just X-Scissors it to death.

Metang, on the other hand, is not easy. Zen Headbutt messes with Tonka, Meteor Mash cuts through Gaia and gives scary boosts, and the thing has ROCK SLIDE to add insult to injury; plus Agility. With a Steel typing, it resisted a lot of crap, too.The trick, as it turns out, was fucking it up fast and hard with F-Zero’s Thunder before it could do much damage. Thunder brought it to the low yellow and luckily paralyzed it; Signal Beam finished it off.

The ace was Klinklang. I find it odd this pokemon is pure steel when it has so many electric moves, but okay. F-Zero uses Thunder, which brings it into the yellow and paralyzes again (whoo!). Klinklang Shift Gears. I know it resists bug so I need to Thunder again; unfortunately I get the miss. However, the foe gets paralyzed. I Thunder again and finish things off.

It was a good battle, but Team Plasma wasn’t finished quite yet. We run into the true man behind the scenes, the foul abusive-parent Ghetsis, and chase him off his ship and into some backwater cave somewhere.

Then N shows up, there’s some drama with legendery dragons, and Ghetsis is very cranky about the whole thing. Without giving us a chance to even save or anything, he launches right into attacking us.

Not gonna lie, this last fight is exciting and the music is damn good. It feels high-stakes.

Ra was first out, since I’d just used him to take care of Kyurem. He was able to take care of Confagrigis with some Psychics– although we had to get toxiced and put up with a full restore, but held on long enough to take it out. A special defense drop did help us.

Next out was Hydreigon; Green Bean used X-Scissor. After that was Eelektross, and I was fearing the Flamethrower, so I sent out Gaia. It’s a bit rough, with thunderbolts and acrobatics, but it never actually pulls out the flamethrower and I finish it off. After that is Seismetoad; that’s easy as pie with a grass move.

Drapion is out next, and I really want to use Psychic on it, but Ra is pretty weak from his long fight with Confagrigis. I try it out, but he’s outsped, as I suspected. Dang. I send out Green Bean next, and take it out with three X-Scissors.

Toxicroak is handled cleanly with Thunder. And then that’s it!

In retrospect, the battle didn’t give me any trouble. But somehow they still made it feel exciting. Possibly it’s just because I remember the fight vs. Ghetsis from original Black/White, which really left an impression on me.

(Lord N was there to talk to me after the battle. Still love him so much.)

After the Plasma plot wraps up, we move on to Victory Road. And that’s when I run into some trouble.

See, the plan all along had been to add my sixth and final teammember at Victory Road. That is where Durant, a super-late-game bug, hangs out. The problem is, I was playing Pokemon White 2, and apparently they tweaked it so that you can’t even reach Durant until post-game.

That really stinks! I have no idea why they did that, but I decided I wasn’t going to let a technicality like that slow me down. Like previous game runs I’ve done, if a particular version I was playing didn’t technically have full access to the species I needed for a bug run, I … bent the rules slightly.

So we snuck into Clay Tunnel. This trip was only for one thing: capture a Durant. We grabbed the first one we saw. She was lovely, and we named her Kolibri. She didn’t have Hustle, and honestly? I think I’m ok with that. Missing is pretty darn annoying.

Once we had our final team member, it was all about going through Victory Road and doing a little grinding. We met our rival one last time along the way. His Emboar was tough enough by now that it could shrug off Gaia’s Rock Slides. So I went with a new tactic, using Volcarona’s Psychic. The rest was easy enough to deal with. Then it was on to the Elites!

(MIGHTY BUG POWER DETECTED!)

Unfortunately, I made a mistake when I was grinding before facing the Elites. I thought they would be around level 60, so I brought my team all to level 60. As it turns out, no. They were all in the high 50s. So I was ever-so-slightly overlevelled.

Not a huge deal, but it is a shame. I really prefer to never be over-levelled, even by a little bit. Unfortunately there wasn’t much I could do about it.

The Elites were not too hard. Shauntal’s fight was kind of fun. Ra took on Confagrigis with Heat Waves, but got a Spec. Def drop with a Shadow Ball, so I had to switch out when Chandelure came in. I decided to bring Tonka in. As cruel as it sounds, Tonka was kind of expendable against this particular team. I got a Toxic off before going down, though. Ra came back in to blast with Psychics for neutral damage, but unfortunately the darn thing was hitting all its Fire Blasts and it got a crit, so Ra went down. Luckily it was injured enough that F-Zero could finish things off. Golurk was easy pickings for a Leaf Blade, and Drifblim went down to a Thunder.

Marshal fight had Tonka doing some work on the opening Throh. I feared Guts on Conkeldurr, and sent out Kolibri; however, it did not fare well against those Hammer Arms. Thankfully those moves dropped Conk’s speed, though, so I felt safe bringing Ra in, even against the inevitable Full Restore, and I could just Psychic. (See, at the time, I didn’t realize that thing is actually slow as dirt anyway.) The rest of the team was an easy clean-up, especially when Meinshao misses its High-Jump Kick and I put a Rock Wrecker in its face.

It may not be very effective, but nobody’s surviving a boulder to the face at half health.

Since the other two Elites are Psychic and Dark type, I don’t think I even need to bother mentioning their fights. With a full team of Bug types, it was pretty trivial to get through.

The Champion battle was decently difficult, so I was glad it wasn’t too anti-climactic. Tonka used X-Scissor on Hydreigon and managed to tank a Flamethrower– in the very low yellow health, after Leftovers. He finished the dragon off and Druddigon was out next. I honestly forget what I did with that fellah. I probably used F-Zero against him. Aggron was out next, so I went with my special attacker Ra. Heat Wave did a respectable chunk, but Rock Slide was, of course, a death sentence for Volcarona. Knowing that the Full Restore was incoming, I sent Tonka out and potioned up too. Then I used Superpower, which ALMOST killed. Tonka goes down and I clean up with F-Zero.

Archeops is next; one Rock Wrecker is all it takes, after Gaia survives the Rock Slide. Very happy Gaia hit all of her Rock Wreckers when she needed to.

Lapras was a bit of a troll. I sent out F-Zero, confidant in one-shotting the beast with Thunder, but it didn’t quite kill and it used freaking Hypnosis on me. Urgh. Swapped over to Kolibri and took a Surf very badly but finished Lapras off.

Finally, the ace, Haxorous. I sent out Green Bean. It was a tough choice, knowing this thing was probably going to Dragon Dance, and that was pretty scary. She could have easily gotten her late-game sweep if I let things get out of hand; my team was already weakened a bunch. I decided to get a Reflect up. I think that ultimately saved my butt. It did use Dragon Dance as predicted, and Green Bean used one X-Scissor before going down to an X-Scissor of Haxorous’ own. Then I sent the low-health Gaia in. He managed to survive the Earthquake thanks to Reflect and finished Haxorous off with an X-Scissor. (Yes, that’s an awful lot of X-Scissors going ‘round, but to be fair, this *is* a mono bug team)

And that’s it for Pokemon White 2! It was a fun little romp, but I admit it was very easy. I did expect that, though. Oh well! Maybe next time, if I’m hunting for a challenge, I can do that all-Vivillon run of X/Y I keep considering. :P

This is a repost on a new blog. The original post was on Feb 25, 2019.

#pokemon #bugrun #bugrun5 #mycontent #pokemon playthroughs

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tessatechaitea · 7 years

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Detective Comics #953

Is the left boob a vital organ?

Hey! Me too! Now whenever I want to show somebody that I love them, I yell, "Out vile jelly!" I'm pretty sure they understand.

After all the boring introductory stuff that's there to remind readers the names of the characters and possibly some other stuff (although they forgot to remind everybody that Renee Montoya is gay. Shame! (I mean shame on the forgetting and not shame on the being gay. Don't you dare purposefully misunderstand my meaning, you terrible Internet scolds!)), the action begins. That action is the League of Shadows attacking all of the secret Bat Lairs because why wouldn't they know every Bat-Secret ever? They're the most dangerous foes Batman has ever faced! Also, Cassie Cain kicks Batman's ass because she's going through a terrible bout of Daddy and Mommy Issues. Sometimes I wish somebody at DC Comics would hold a staff meeting to suggest other reasons characters might be experiencing drama in their lives. It doesn't always have to be about parents, does it?! Judging by the next scene, I'm going to predict that meeting never, ever takes place.

Here's another idea for a company meeting: bring in all of the artists to see what an actual woman looks like when she's in a suit of leather. It doesn't adhere to the body in the way they think it does. Is Kate vacuum sealed into her outfit?! Oh! I bet if she was, I'd finally know what to picture when I think "vagina!"

Cassandra heads into Gotham Times Square to shout "Shiva!" which Shiva obviously hears. I avoid being angry about how ridiculous that is by asking myself, "Do I want to read ten pages of Cassandra Cain hunting down Shiva?" Since the answer to that is "Holy fucking Christ, no!", I'm happy with this turn of events. Cassie is being plagued by that question that After-School Specials have told us plagues all adopted children eventually: "Why did my mother abandon me?" You know what Special I never saw that would have really helped me growing up? "Why Didn't My Mother Abandon Me?" I totally would have identified with that one. Shiva doesn't answer Cassie's question because Cassie refuses to kill her. Well, that seems like a no-win situation. How could she answer if Cassie killed her? Oh wait. It's comic books. She probably would resurrect or become a ghost or fart the answer in a long, rambling death ass rattle. While all of the Bat Family are being picked apart, Batman discovers Ra's al Ghul has infiltrated the Batcave. He must be there to offer Batman a chance to work with him to defeat the League of Shadows. Batman will probably say "I guess I have no choice!" instead of the thing he really should say: "Are you fucking kidding me? I know Superman and Wonder Woman! Get the fuck out of here!" The Ranking! No change! If you want to read a comic book that feels familiar because it's using all of the comic book clichés ever and even stealing most of the plot elements from the Court of Owls story, you should pick up this comic book! I'd rather spend those five minutes of my life in a more interesting way, like smelling the lint between my toes or shoving magic markers up my ass. But since I read the comic book already, I just don't have time! But you still have a chance to make that decision! Heed my warning, comic book readers! Carpe Magicae Plumbum!

#Detective Comics #DC Comics #James Tynion IV #Christian Duce #Fernando Blanco #Alex SInclair #Allen Passalaqua

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burningblake · 7 years

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Snowbarry AU Part 2

Title: A Ballad for Ms Snow | Read Part 1 | Read on FF.net

Description: Snowbarry Club AU. Caitlin is the sad DJ who's saving up money for her Master education. Barry is a fresh graduate who celebrates the night with his friends. What happens when he takes a bet to seduce her? Multi-chapter. Without superpowers.

Chapter 2 - Secrets Revealed

Barry's head swam as he downed the third drink. The music had eased to a lazy tune. The few dancers that pirouetted on the floor didn't even follow the rhythm. The club's energy had shifted to the tables, to casual chatting and flirting and kissing.

Caitlin sat with her legs tucked underneath her—her heels lay on the floor somewhere—while he had stretched his over the sound system. She held her glass with precision and cringed each time the alcohol touched her lips.

She wasn't much of a drinker, Barry deduced.

The colored lights illuminated her eyes and her teeth—whenever she shared a smile.

At first, they chatted about his graduation and his passion for forensics science. As with all things he loved, he spoke in a frenzy. It was crazy, he thought. He'd only met her minutes ago and it was like he was trying to compress the story of his life into a short summary—scary details excluded. (Though a voice deep inside told him she wouldn't mind the scary details. She would understand.)

The truth was, he liked her reactions.

She didn't just nod and smile. No. Her eyes and mouth widened with proper shock and surprise as he told her about his hearing accident.

"No!" she said, leaning forward.

"Exactly!" Barry returned the emotion. "I mean, out of all the places I could have been when the speaker system went off, I happened to be right in front of it. I couldn't hear anything for an entire day! At least, Iris enjoyed teasing me."

She laughed and shook her head. Then, when her eyes sobered, she said: "You had reversible hearing loss."

Barry stopped over his drink. "I had what?" he asked.

"Reversible hearing loss," she repeated, blushing. When she saw his blank expression she scurried to explain: "It's a mechanism your ears use to adapt to the loud noise and protect you from real damage."

He stared at her in awe. "Wow that's so... educated of you," he remarked.

She shrugged, turning her attention to her drink. "I read," she said.

Barry nodded, though he didn't quite buy her excuse. He realized she'd never told him about her major. She had skipped the question when he asked her by turning the focus to him.

In fact, each time he tried to center the conversation on her, she shrank inwards and guarded her expression. She cut her answers short. So far, he'd only managed to learn about her friendship with Cisco—he was the one who had recommended her for the job and had also tutored her on the art of mixing music. She hadn't always been as proficient as she was now—Barry imagined her struggling with the buttons, showing extreme caution. A smile tugged on his lips.

He stared at her profile-the way her intelligent eyes caught the light, the way her hair brushed her skin and her lips balanced each other.

"You never told me what you specialize at," he commented.

She turned her face and raised her eyebrows, as if she hadn't heard him. It was kind of cute, Barry thought. She actually believed she could fool him. The innocent looks were basically his expertise. He smiled, deciding to humor her anyway.

"Your major. You never told me what you're studying," he repeated.

This time, her hesitation was visible.

"I promise I won't feel intimidated," Barry said, raising his palm.

Her eyes squeezed into a smile. Barry's gaze caught on her dimples for a moment.

"I'm a biomedical engineer and geneticist," she said. Barry shaped a silent wow with his lips, his eyes widening.

"You said you wouldn't feel intimidated," Caitlin reminded him, pointing with her finger.

Barry closed his mouth. "I'm not—I mean I'm not going to pretend I understand what that is about, but you... you are a scientist-aside from a DJ, which I-I think is-is an interesting combination," he struggled to find the right words, to not sound like an idiot and at the same time compliment her mind.

A smile pressed into her left cheek. "You are not so bad yourself, Mr. Allen. A pizza delivery guy who's secretly a CSI detective."

He accepted her praise with a nod. "Yeah, people tend to think I'm fast at delivery."

Caitlin tilted her head.

"And that sounded not how I intended it to," he scurried to add.

Caitlin laughed.

Quiet settled as if carried by a breeze. Caitlin focused on her drink and switched the song.

5,4,3,2,1… the lyrics started. The voice was sweet melancholy and inner complaint.

5,4,3,2,1...

He holds the guuun... against my heart.

I close my eyes... and I'm... I'm dead.

He saw her close her eyes and bite her lip.

His eyebrows pulled together in a furrow as he watched the pain battle with her expression. It didn't take a genius to fill in the pieces. The song hymned romantic love and how it could murder you.

"What happened?" he asked quietly.

She opened her eyes and stared. Her gaze turned cold and distant.

"I... lost my fiancé," she answered, her voice firm. "We both studied at the same college until... there was an explosion nine months ago. Basically, I lost a year of my studies and the man I loved... died." Her voice dried at the last word.

Barry sat up straight and looked at her, shaking his head. "I'm so sorry," he muttered.

"Yeah, me too," she said. "So, since you asked why I don't smile too much, this blank expression feels kind of the way to go."

Barry nodded. Her words connected strangely with him. He'd made a similar pact with himself. Only different. He couldn't vindicate his father. But still, hoping felt like the only way to go. The muscles around her mouth twitched, as if she was restisting emotion.

"Hey," Barry said. Before he realized it, he was reaching out and placing his hand on her shoulder. Caitlin jumped slightly. He pulled away, curling his fingers into his palm, but still held her gaze.

"Everything is going to be okay. You will be fine," he told her. He didn't know how he'd ended up offering support to this girl—this girl he barely knew—but it was almost an automatic reaction. Somehow he knew that she could survive this and he needed to tell her.

He almost expected her to protest, to shake him off, but Caitlin's eyes stretched wide as a tiny speck of hope glimmered in the depths of her irises. She was stunning. She nodded.

Barry tried to clear his head and smiled. He decided he wouldn't leave this place if he didn't see her smile again.

"I have an idea," he started.

Caitlin squinted and leaned a little back. "What?" "Let's play a drinking game," he suggested. "We'll both describe our worst experiences of a certain type and if yours are worse than mine, you'll take a shot, or the opposite." He grinned with pride.

Caitlin's expression shrank in hesitation. "I'm not sure…"

"Oh come on. You deserve to have some fun," Barry pressed.

Caitlin's eyes opened in protest as she resisted a smile. "I have never done a drinking game!" she confessed. "I'm not even sure I will be any fun!"

One hour later…

"Worst birthday party ever!" Caitlin shouted as soon as she slammed her glass down. Cisco gave her a look, then leaned toward Barry and covered his mouth with his palm. "Who is she and what have you done with Caitlin?" he demanded.

Barry laughed and lifted his shoulders, shaking his head. "Okay, me first!" Caitlin said. "It was the year my father died. He was the only one that remembered my birthday, so that year nobody was home to celebrate. I made a cake on my own, which turned out to be salty. Much like me." She snorted and snickered.

"That sucks, but not as much as my worst birthday," Barry pointed out. "I was eleven years old and I visited my father in prison for the first time, but they wouldn't let me see him, because they considered him a a threat to me, after he was accused with murdering my mother."

He frowned as soon as he uttered the words. He was sure this was something he wasn't supposed to say.

Caitlin pouted. "Fine, you win!"

Barry cheered and downed another shot.

"How about this?" he pointed a finger. "Worst pick-up line you've ever received," he suggested.

Caitlin wrinkled her nose and twisted her lips. "Hey Snow, I bet I can make you fall for me," she said, imitating a male voice.

Barry folded in half laughing.

"What did you tell them?" he wondered.

"Something about how I could freeze them to death instead. Which was pretty mean, but he deserved it." She almost looked like she was muttering to herself, which gave Barry another round of laughs.

As he straightened up, he saw Julian approach. His smile faded. Julian stopped next to him and studied Caitlin. Barry tensed.

"You were supposed to buy her one drink, Allen. Not get her wasted," Julian remarked.

It took a moment for his words to set in and create their disaster. Caitlin was too drunk to react to them. But the same didn't apply to the barman.

Barry met Cisco's grim eyes. His hands had frozen over the cocktail he was brewing. Barry opened his mouth and raised his palm in panic.

"Hey let me explain-"

"I thought I had made it clear to you that Caitlin wasn't in a place to date, much less be played with," Cisco said through tight lips.

"I didn't intend to-" Barry tried to explain.

"I think you need to leave now," Cisco cut him off. His voice stayed within civilized volumes, but somehow it sounded more threatening than direct yelling.

Barry got the message. He nodded and turned to leave.

"Thanks, Julian," he muttered as he swiped past him toward the exit. The other man had opened up his eyes, as if he'd just realized his mistake.

Too late, Barry thought, more to himself than to his colleague. He felt like the worst jerk in the world.

And he deserved it.

The next day he returned around the afternoon. The sky had opened up and was pouring on the earth, so he'd brought an umbrella with him.

He walked several times around the block, ignoring the chill of the rain, until he built up the courage to go inside.

The club worked as a pub during day time. Quiet background tones had replaced the echoing music. The air smelled of spicy perfumes and smoke. But mostly, it was dry, which was a nice change from the wet weather.

Barry shuffled toward the bar, closing his umbrella and slicking back his hair.

"Oh, you again," Cisco muttered nonchalantly once he noticed him. He was tasting a lollipop.

"Hi," Barry said breathily, pretending not to notice his attitude. "Is Caitlin here?"

Cisco pulled the lollipop out of his mouth. "She is Dr. Snow to you," he corrected him, his gaze a sharp knife.

Barry winced and waved his head. "Fine. Is Dr. Snow here?"

Just as he asked, he saw her coming from the bathroom. His heart hammered and his breath caught. Her gaze met his, cold and impassive, but she didn't stop in her tracks. His eyes travelled up and down her body on their own initiative. She wore a black tank top and grey trousers, while a stylish silver clip held her hair on one side.

"Hi," Barry said in a clipped voice, as soon as she came within earshot.

Caitlin turned her side to him and pressed her body against the counter, completely ignoring him.

"Give me a jean tonic, Cisco. With extra ice."

"Right away, m'am," he replied and instantly pulled a bottle.

Barry had never wanted the earth to swallow him as much as he wanted it at that moment. Her direct indifference was like an icicle cutting through his chest. He leaned on the bar, scraffing the surface with his finger. He struggled to find a creative way to start speaking. The seconds passed, and the silence took giant dimensions, and Cisco slipped the drink toward Caitlin.

"Hey, listen," Barry started, pivoting. Caitlin picked up the glass and took a sip. "Yesterday night-"

She whirled. Barry only caught a glimpse of her staggering glare before she tossed her drink right into his face.

He closed his eyes and pressed his lips. When he looked again, she was gone. Cisco stared at him with shock written all over his face, before he raised his eyebrows and returned to his work.

Barry wiped the water off his face with the back of his sleeve and turned around. The door of the club closed after a half hint of Caitlin. He ran after her.

The rain soaked him to the bone. It was the kind of rain that fell down in cascades, creating rivers down the road. Barry searched in the blurred view until he noticed a grey-coated figure heading to the parking lot, holding a black umbrella.

"Caitlin!" he shouted.

She didn't slow her pace.

He started running. He thought he would probably catch a cold later, but he ran regardless. He only wished he could run faster.

He stopped her just as she was about to enter her car, gently pulling her shoulder. Caitlin shook his hand off and pierced him with her eyes.

Water spilled down his face and lips. Her umbrella looked particularly appealing to him as cold had started to set in his bones, but something told him she wouldn't exactly welcome him under it.

"Caitlin, listen please," he begged her. "Yesterday-"

"Yesterday what, Barry?" she cut him off. "You took advantage of my emotional state to have a laugh with your friends? You used me to boost your stupid ego? You insisted on getting me drunk so you could then exploit me further?"

"No-NO! Please, I swear I only insisted on getting drunk, because we both needed it. I never intended to take it any further than that," he promised.

She frowned. "You don't have the slightest clue about what I need," she said through gritted teeth. "What I need is for you to get out of my sight. I have enough troubles in my life as it is. I don't need you to make fun of it," she spat, pain and anger painted all over her eyes. Barry's heart sank as she opened the door of her car.

He stood alone in the shower as her headlights shone in the dusk. He watched them fade away.

Lightning split the sky. Suddenly he wished it would strike him.

Read Part 3

#snowbarry #snowbarry au #club au #fanfiction #snowbarry fanfic #the flash #caitlin snow

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madalinaotvos-blog · 6 years

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Confession

Rising sadly from the dark, Cold and tired from the larks... Of thousand tradors from the past, Counting coins of Judah's curst.

Diverse lifes of oxigen, Stamped obviously by my Cain. Showing up the truth of life, Unprepared for logical fights.

Target first the enemy, Play out their own strategy. Word of peace and then if not, Cut their wings to fall apart.

The after pay, the horizon. Pure and whitish, angel foam, That came out instead of blood, To steal from me my ancient mark.

Then my wings became so heavy, Covered by the darkness, steady... Angels flying for more lies, Sex abused and crazy minds.

Fall in sin now seems so easy. Time is here and They are busy. Counting cheatings, killing Christs, Because he knew some ancient signs.

Signs of science, illumination. That could save all of his nations. But instead pretended death, Gambling games of tricky minds.

I killed him, my son's desire, To punish a different liar. Then the angels blew a horn, To hide my pyramids in storms.

Stealing data, stealing truth. Modern times and thousand shoes. Cinderellas dressed with my reward, Bounded to Excalibur's mark.

My ancient cloth, worn before death, I wore it when I had to fight. It was ripped by an ancient bullet, No blood stamps, but the print of my grace.

To remind me the mistakes, Of trusting my servant arm,. Who came then to steal my glory. To steal my soul bounded weapon.

Which reminded me who I was. Now in modern, focused Era. They called me like Lucifera. But I'm Tarra, Terra's med...

Unrecognized by earthy mud. I dream lately in the clouds. To figure out the true intention, Of the crazy, blinded human nature.

Year of eleven, said Da Vinci, Stealing a fake conspiracy. Lazy mind with bad intention, Could have destroyed all of your nations.

Proudness, greed of zombie mind, Could have started a bloody fight. I let them in my labyrinth, Of my grace and past like myths.

Year of eleven, said Da Vinci. French kiss will break misery, To fool my ancient roots and bring, Different lies and mysteries.

My intention was to test, The mindset of angel-sneaks. To purify a poisoned mind, With love, healing all the dark.

Copy paste could be the answer, The horse brother was the fighter... For a glimpse of a bright light, That prepared me for my fights.

Chains of liars, angel saint... Who committed some mistakes. I had to punish incidents, To pull down the tricky saints.

I'm a hunter of a truth, Vanished, biased from lost proofs. But my purest future dark, Raised above to cure the past.

I saw so much misery, Brainwashed, lies and mysteries... Smoke of fire, different types, Angel cursts and shameful fights.

Fallens fall as cheap-thrilled gays... Waiting for Cain to do mistakes. Then my son's arms asked for wars, Mercenaries lied by whores.

After they saw the big disgust, They prepared for smarter fights. Monopolies and misery... Controlled by some human bliss.

Who highlighted some credible threads, Encrypted demons, ghosts and minds... Anonymous as personality, To lead falling monopolies.

My sons, the trinity of me, One a liar, two like me. Don't ask who their father was... It was him, my deepest trust.

Memories and vows of past, Love confessions and deep trust. Kept so loyal in deep roots. The proof of Excalibur.

Then the Devil came to save. No Isolda, she's not French. She's my partner in a fight... For truth freedom, ancient kind.

,,Who should I trust?" I asked my self, many times Thrown in neglect, Lucifer falls in disrespect.

I'm your mother, you were my child. Go to your brothers and just say: High! Silent belt glowing much farther, Till the sinner is discovered!

Old man, God of insecure heaven. His madness caused falling of seven. Whores and liar pretty face. Teached now to give some respect.

For the Templars of earthy truth, Fighters of Excalibur. Tired minds who felt disgust, For the heaven of present past.

Silent hell and warmer anger. Raised up against my peaceful heaven. Watch the sunrise, Mohamed! You are mine, so help out Set.

He is my brother and protector. A wise wolf, with different angles. To observe and analyze... The flickerings of ancient stars.

Ra is fire, brightful shine Connects you to all the lights. Hopes and heartbeats of pure love, Ment for gods and not for dogs.

Nor for bags of orgies, harpies... Time is here, I have no mercy. We will do it, call the bright one. Lucifer fooled, forgot who mom was.

He returned to Set to lie, Make orgies, more different kind... Let's rape mother on a planet, Felt so good, felt in deep madness.

He cut off his lucid mind, And followed a different kind. My guardian betrayed and fooled, To steal Set and all of my roots.

I stayed human, pure and straight To show them all what I've gained. Purer soul print, finger ring... Egyptian landings, family.

My purity, my future child, Won't be born in this disgust. Gelossy kills, I warned them right. My own death came then to life.

I'm still here, I don't feel fear. Nobody knows, how family killed... I'm no one, Nobody With sarcastic, darker mercy.

I'm Earth, more planetary, Things turned out more visionary... For the brightest angel then, Who assumed and consumed hell.

Who am I, your father asked. Lost connections and broke past, Blurry dark in memories, That destroyed my family.

Who am I? A mother, hell? Then why didn't you show respect? For the fights, I fought so bravely, While everybody thought, I'm crazy...

Instead, you let your poison out. Your own mother sold out loud... To the empty judgemental labels, Who provoked me to turn up tables.

To uncured killers on their past, To bind present in future mights... I thought you want a family... To escape that misery.

Casa owner is my pact, To protect and heal the dark. Purify the light from means, And the fake angelic sins.

He trusted me, and he shows trust. Back in hell, he conserved past. I searched for Cain in different rooms, Criminal labels, burnt from roots.

Sold me out for angel's love. Red light districts here and there, Shinning above to steal Lucifer? My son, is it what your brother wanted? To behave like Alexander?

He died deeply because we punished Great theories, stolen by harpies. Who sold my templar, cousin's madness. Greed was never his blind target.

He was brave, not great by madness... Tired spirit with sin labels, Who returned to rest in heaven. Help his children to become kind.

And sculpture him on hero's side. With my help, my intuition. He trusted me and my brave nature. Felt disgusted for unfair whores.

Who didn't respect the horse. Who spoke truth through mother nature, That forced him for right confession. He chose the path from left to right. In a harmony of nine.

Elevens falling all apart, Dog waves migrating all back. Witchery in rats and burkas, Venom of black and white cobras.

Poisoning their greedy mind, Soulless bodies, for fake fights. We were looking for the answer, To show Lucifer who mom was. Then more whores came from above, No Cain now, Lucifer's mine.

The bitch in hell tries to pretend, That's Lucifer who I defend... But I protect Excalibur My ex-husband... meaner fool.

Then the Templars came to swear, New prayers and newer hell. Excalibur to bring me out, From the memories of the dark past.

God on Earth, hid the truth, He played the wise and innocent fool. Excalibur sober and wise, To punish the sober like lies.

My intuition, my grace, my chills, Eternal in the Sun's smile. My love is my purity, Judgemental insanity.

Pain taught me when and how to kill, Remotely so I can heal... To revenge the broken bills, Gathered up by angelic sins.

The intelligent whore from where? How did she reach my well-blessed hell? It's a copy her lover said, But she wanted Cain to swear.

Then he put a different mask, To hide the intention of trust. Stealing out again my child, To wake up children of past.

He felt me, eternity... Horny whores marked for their sins. My protector purer soul, Fought for his mom, to be born.

No Excalibur feels shame, The sexuality to blame. The same setup, parallel pasts... Excalibur, it’s me to trust!

Next level for my own poison, Kept in secret to revive us. Me, my child and the bright Sun. We know who and when to trust.

I'm Earth, not yet immortal. They played fake engagement portals. While my stollen grace was shared, Not adviced by Lucifer.

It was her from other side, Putting humans in fake smiles. She returned but not that wise, A memory of deep disgust.

The nest of the Planet X, Golden fake gods and fake kiss. But the handled high emotions, Keeps Cain in encaged illusions.

Then the Sun a bit confused, Followed Ra and asked for proofs. My protector, purer old. Recognized me, how I fought.

Our soul, no fingerprint, Da Vinci's ancient myth. Not the touch nor the illusion, That caused the human confusion.

It was them, their ancient greed. Blinded thirst for heaven meat. Because I loved his father madly, Gave a chance to kill the "bounties".

He is patient, truth and right, Witnessing a newer fight. All this dirt and cheap-thrilled games, Limits to tolerate shame.

I decided to cure him... To see truth and love Him blindly. The entity of his soul bound... I don't think and I don't trust.

Everybody wants to feed, My child with their rotten milk. But the Devil, his protector. Returned him to mother nature.

My templars were my enemies... I revived them from their bliss. To enlighten corrupted heavens And punish betrayal heathens.

To protect and purify, The jewelry of humankind. Leftovers of goddess love And purify the angel curst.

In their eyes as Virgin Marry, They decide who should I marry. Excalibur, you fell in sin... Don't hide away while witnessing...

Punish the betrayal mind, The corrupted ancient kind, If the sin will fall again, You know now who to betray.

Kill them all! Blood and veins, Soul bounded impurer grace. Humans, angels, animals That arise against my trust.

Blueblood, red and human nature, Take them on my death's adventure. Fly through the heavy and cold dark, Nobody will hear their bark.

No hell is guilty as heaven, When is without my bright seven. No hell feels so miserable, As the hidden human heathens.

New eras are undercover... Angel orgies on Earth’s heaven. Trying hardly to reach out... Through fake money, Switzerland.

I'm not grandpa, none of them... I was raised in happy hell. Second time it turned sarcastic, Now their labels stick, so drastic.

Mother nature showed to prove, That my grace is bounded proof. Encrypted for them but for me hidden, Just my soul is my own mirror.

Meanwhile, I can still protect, Life, truth, dark as Set just said. My number is thirteen because, The last supper was a curst.

Me, my own and my twin couple, Corrupted the game of the last supper. I became one with the mark, Dad and mother for my child.

Then the group of their eleven, Fall apart to faker seven. Blood was feeling the cold dark, Saint Peter stole and hide...

The truth templars kept in walls, To witness the faker curst. The cross kept for blasphemies, For Judah's betrayal kiss.

Christ possessed criminal, Stopped me from returning home. He shared the blood of my life's fruit. And tried to wear different suite.

I was 12 the mystique number, Goddess blessed and undercover. The untouched plus diverged one. Lucifer, my stollen heart.

I was twelve and he was 13, Next gods for the heaven throne bliss. But killing all of my kinds, Grandpa ruled and fooled with myths.

I was there on Golgotha, In Gana and helped out Christ... To share kindness, intuition, To become a better nation.

Then Cain was on the East side, Horus exchanged the truer one. To fall in love with his own sister, Not promised, nor sinister.

Now, the same archeology, With upgraded types of orgies... Stollen rings from Egypt's priests, They found me and I found Him.

Bones were moving, tall from Rome... Pope has had a different cold. Judah to keep his chain, For the pacts, he made to swear.

Bones feeling apocalypse, I stopped many in a year. Crusades, the best religions, To purify human inhibitions.

Sold out tickets on curst lands, By Benedicts and Francisc "saints". Reincarnation dragged in puppets, Moldovians and under dark bullets.

I waited and analyzed, The false looks and zombie smiles. Then Set was kinda of prepared, To welcome me in current hell.

He would have thought it's me to heal, But I absorbed Ra's deep bliss... Not corrupted to flesh fruits, Soul boundaries and ancient proofs.

I figured out their true intention, That would have destroyed our nation. The chains would have hit back, Not for my ancient blessed mark. But to imprison the true Ra.

Our brother, Horus lied... For love? For money? For sinner whores? He betrayed his family, And became my enemy.

Feathered Judah, bigger liar, His own child to burn in fire, Sold out to different popes, Blasfemized with earthy whores.

Went to the pope, to kill my kind. Marrying gypsy like rats... To keep his dirty sinfull fames, Sold out to drink other's grace.

Killing Set would have been nice, Cold blooded and crystal eyes. My heart bumped, I thought it's pure... Made me feel so insecure.

But it was my first relation, Connection to my old nation. I was about to glorify, The flickering of brother's eyes.

I tried so hard to cure, to heal, The sanity to stop him kill. While he kept on still avoiding, To meet my eyes and heart, to fold it.

All his nightmares from the past, That put him in muddy dust. Now he plays and thinks, pretender To become a wiser sainter.

I saw my old enemy, From the era of Ptolemy. Sitting on Cain's gold throne, With planetary and His crown.

I went there to meet my husband, Infiltrated as a soldier, To celebrate and show my dance, Of seduction and love, long last.

But the brother was enchained, By deep greed and ancient bless... His temptation came alive, To control the human kind.

Sticky, stubborn parasite, Infected a beautiful kid. He should let his greed in fire, Power tempted, deep desire.

He should have ask and cry for trust, Of his angel, Horus's best. Intuition and clean peace, I didn't curst, it is a sin!

Even Mars, a died out planet Sensed my soul and observed madness, To raise up for truth and trust, To hold on warrior thoughts.

Then the angels screaming bravely, Chaos is the best to put in. But the bastard insane soul, Was cropped first, just like a toy.

On Mars then Ra's pyramid... Blessed with love that my kids built. Biased harpies, thirst for science, Fake intellingents are quite.

Angels, heaven, show your gates! What do you have to promise then? If your crazy hypotheses, Are falling down, you disgust, herpes...

I don't need to sacrifice... My own child to earn a heart! Core of galaxy, my soul, Was infected by my love.

My hopes, my dreams listened in silence, My being focused on human violence. Then the sneak like whores of heaven, Tried to infiltrate in seven.

All the dreams, weapons and tools, To protect the crazy fools... Were stollen and blasphemized, To fake Cain a better "us".

Knife to protect Mohamed, Then in heaven with prospect. To protect himself in fight, While he learned to protect "dad".

My true weapon melted in, The blade of the sword of sin, Fired and ritualized, To redirect the mirrored us.

Burnt in fire, then in water, Stone was Arthur now my time came, To return it's grace to Cain. Four elements present for fair.

Earth cried out for happy proofs. Waking up from its old roots, I was mom, since then a soldier. Smiling feeling the Sun's warrior.

Lucid dreamings and soul faith. Darkness the arrose to scare, My own glow and eyes for further. It stopped me not to fly louder.

For the ancient, other myths. Galaxies from other sides, That wanted to check my mind. But my soul was matching theirs.

It's not Ra who should be blamed. I was Tarra, there and now, Representing Terra's right.

The respect of the three layers, With different life forms, Different prayers.

Your decisions broke the promise, You can choose who your one is... I have Him, and he's my all, Take a weapon ancient soul.

Stab me deeply once again, Horus then, nor Lucifer... In the pregnancy, I cared, The root of eternal blame.

Steal my soul and share it deeply, History seems much more creepy. Simpler, cleaner with more sense, The true smashed from this universe.

Then my weapon scars your eyes, Reflection of beautyful minds, Steal my soul and share it deeply... In the heavy cold and kill me.

Cut my teets to stop the milk, Trador, Russian parasites. Covered in burkas of lies.

Let the blood feed all your monsters, That betrayed my ancient castles... Watch again how wings are falling, Just look down and see me crawling.

Ancient goddess, not a queen, You will see me then how I kill. All your roots from human nation. Then I fly for all your sainters.

Drag them down in heated hell, To hear you all how you yell. All your cries of deep regrets, Curst land and curst saints.

Liquid universe collapsing, Embracing my body's corruptions... Then the shapeless death in me, Will burn down all of your myths.

I was it, and it was I, Admiration of my mind. Became one with killer darkness, To inhale the world in madness.

No more sunlight, only fire, Burnt down meat and blood on fire. Stamped foreheads from the horns, To start the sin in reverse.

I don't run and I don't hide, I will kill all of your kinds... Betrayal considered sin, I will show you how I kill...

The truth promised undercover, I just came here to recover... The reason why I do not kill, To purify the future sins.

If blood covers my blessed arms, The ancient mark will come alive. My eyes will burn and turn in dark, No more wolf or dogs to bark.

My body in current era, Bitches supposing they are Terra... Fake and cheap-thrilled faker labels, Bitch watch out, I am a trador!

On my face when I was stamped, I promised to stay aware... But the sin it was allowed, I am different, no regard...

I don't want to change what's me... I try hardly to stay clean. I will tear down different chops, Of curst ribs and ancient laws.

For my natural goddess me, I don't respect misery. I stay pure and natural, And my kids are eternal.

Promised since the end of time, I return for what is mine. I return and fight for rights, I can kill, but then your lies...

Won't be punished and nor healed. I will let you all to feel. Inner pain and disillusions, Of your Judas and your folders.

I will rip your soulless hearts, Trap your souls in your sick minds. Then the eyes will be the mirrors, Of the trador, fake like killers.

Time-lapse its reality, I will steal your gravity. Turn the crosses upside me, On Golgothas of bloody mines.

That will be the output when, My heaven will bring down hell. Or if I fill that tradors are, Under-cover or disgust.

Encrypted signs and linearity, Collecting truth from space boundaries. Places where I lost my grace, I will build a newer hell.

If the first try didn't work, Try to complote or steal the show... I will laugh in bitter tears, To show you all, how it feels.

But my fuel is human love, Nature, Earth and Sun-like burnt. Calendars and deep respect, For true gods, I don't neglect.

Fake casts, kneel in front of heaven, Or admire my pure seven. This time no more bit by bit... I can kiss and I can kill.

Silent stories about deaths, Helped me out to follow paths. Humans are the worst behavior, Don't love Christ, just love your saviors.

I observed and took assumption, The mean is kinder than my mom was. Parasite familly roots, Fallen faces, fallen teeth.

Alcohol my father missed, Violence and deep abuser, Turned to crazy, for a bitch whore.

I suppressed his body pain, I wanted to become Cain. Help father to kill them all, Stopping angels not to fall.

But my human intuition, Raised up love for mother nature. I chose to be nobody, But the sins kill, not me...

Associated words of puzzles, Please don't let me to show my cover... In case of emergency, I will draw apocalypse.

Again back in alcohol, Father turned to soul donor... He tried to close all his pacts, To love mom and stop the fights.

She made pacts against my own, Sinner angel in human bowl. To steal the show and change my mind, And inhale my grace's bright light.

I was stronger than them all, Orphan, since my age was born. I don't need no family, I build up my trinity.

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