#I used to hate that last breath because it didn't feel cathartic but now it just feels accurate | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

genericpuff · 6 months

Note

so, i'd been stalking your blog in silence for the past few days/weeks because i used to be a huge fan of LO (i paid patron, was on the discord, own merch and a volume, spent money on fast past for over FOUR years). but as it happened to most fans, i got frustrated and gave up fastpass, and for a while i was trying to stay away from LO critiques because it just made me mad to realize something that was a comfort thing for me was bad all along (and i didn't wanna go full blown anti-LO) but i just finished reading your analysis on the mid-season finale and oh my god dude.

the retcon on how persephone feels about apollo after over 4 years of seeing her hate him because of what he did nearly pushed me over the edge. i feel sick to my stomach, this has to be among the worst things rachel has done and i just wanna say thank you for bringing it up and talking about it so eloquently. i'm a victim of SA and its comforting to see people in the fandom take it as seriously as it should be.

also LO rekindled is a breath of fresh air, thank you for creating it and putting so much work into it <3

Aw man, it's wild when I see people go through the pipeline of realizing LO has issues, mostly because it's a common attack on the critical community that everyone in it are just a bunch of "trolls and haters", but really, a lot of us started in the same boat as you, myself included. I unfortunately just missed the Patreon era, but I remember when I was a diehard fan of LO, it was one of the biggest facets of my friendship with the person who introduced me to it, I would literally be swiping my app refreshing it over and over again in the last seconds leading up to new updates trying to get the episode to just load, I drew fanart, I even did a tattoo of it once for that same friend who got me into it, and yes, I was really pissed that there was an anti community surrounding it.

It's crazy to think back on those times. I do miss how the comic used to make me feel, but at the same time, I know there's no going back to that time so I try to make the best of what I have now within the critic community, and what I've gained since then in terms of dissecting and discussing literature.

I feel so much for your feelings regarding the SA plot, I'm also a victim of SA so it was one of the biggest plot points that drew me into the comic in the first place, so it was really hard to truly realize what the series had become as the SA plotline took a backseat and the characterizations fell apart. It felt like something that I had gone through - and many others who also related to Persephone's struggles - was being used for cheap drama and that feels especially apparent now with how the series seems to be backpedaling it, or at least, replacing it with different motivations to make Apollo the villain, almost like it's an attempt to distract us from the SA and make us want to see his downfall for reasons that Rachel can quantify in a more black and white "good vs evil" kind of way.

I'm so glad you like Rekindled, I made it for people like you and I who loved LO once upon a time but mourn for what it once was before it turned into what it is now. It's been such a cathartic project for me and I'm so happy that others enjoy it too <3

#lore olympus critical #lo critical #ask me anything #ama #anon ama #anon ask me anything

65 notes · View notes

evanox · 2 years

Note

Hi hi hi :D

I saw you were taking requests so I have an au request thingy. Imagine the one au of the M3 as baristas with an mc from Astraea, except mc just fucking faceplants into the coffee shop during the closing shift and everyone loses their shit-

Also hcs for barista Felix falling for astraean mc ahajsksksjsmsms that is all okay thank you-

hii tysm for the request!! no I definitely didn't have to binge @/morgandrinkscoffee for Research /s,, also omg you've reminded me of Ciel's drawing of the M3 as baristas,, man I'm gonna miss Ciel's LL art,, also

you see I kind of forgot the Astraean MC bit and already committed to General Barista HCs so now you're getting both General Barista HCs and the M3 with Astraean MC and Felix falls in love with them, except the latter is gonna have to be on another post bc it got so long tumblr won't let me edit it normally anymore :)) i'll make sure to tag you once that's up!

m.list

Felix

Felix had to find a new job to stay afloat after practically disowning his dad. Scylla still tries to help with a lot of his finances, but Felix hates relying too much on her, so here is, working the coffee machine at a bookstore coffee shop. Yes, it is a humbling experience.

The manager had to tell him off several times about his sharp tongue; Felix wasn't exactly subtle when a customer pissed him off. His coworkers, however, enjoyed living vicariously through him. It was cathartic watching Felix come up with creative ways to roast (haha) rude customers, and it was fun while it lasted. Now he just wears his customer smile through the pain, except it's more of an unnerving "I can't stop thinking about all the ways I could poison you" smirk.

Loathes the morning shift with every fiber of his being; loves the night shift, especially if he's alone. You know he's busting a few moves with that broom while blasting his playlist that's just too hit or miss for everyone to be used while the cafe is open.

Throws far too many tirades about how tea is far superior to coffee.

"Why do you work at a cafe then?"

"Mind your business."

Oh, the scandalized look on his face when someone suggests he try out coffee so he can 'look a little more cheerful on the morning shift'...

Felix always brings a book along to get him through slow shifts. He tried to be subtle about the more risque ones, but he'd been caught by his coworkers so many times that Felix doesn't bother hiding it from them anymore.

Come to the counter carrying a book that Felix likes (or absolutely loathes), and he will look like someone breathed life back into his corpse. It's very rare that he'd engage in small talk with customers—let alone initiate it—but he'll ask how far into the book have you read, what are your thoughts so far, and offer some of his own opinions if you seem to be enjoying the conversation.

His handwriting is usually incomprehensible because he writes in cursive and his hand is too fast so it just looks like a messy string of loops. You know Felix has a crush when he takes his sweet time drawing out those pretty loops into your name and making it look fancier than a Victorian man's love letter.

And yes, he'll go out of his way to walk the order to you.

Can't help but stare as you sip on your drink, so he brings his leather-bound writing journal along to seem more subtle as he looks between you and the pages. When inspiration strikes he might jot down a few verses of poetry about the threads of your hair turned golden by the sun or the mesmerizing rhythm of your finger as you tap it against your lovely lips when deep in thought, and if you have brown eyes he might even throw in a coffee-related simile. Then he feels very embarrassed and slaps the journal shut before any of his coworkers could get a peek.

How does he flirt, you ask? By reading the same books you pick up, of course; what better way to know someone? And it'll give him an excuse to strike up a conversation the next time you come for a drink.

Anisa

Anisa working in a cat cafe? Anisa working in a cat cafe.

When no one's watching she'll try to coo at the cats and coax them into her lap. Why does she feel the need to hide when trying to get the cats to play? Because Anisa doesn't want anyone witnessing the myriad of rejections she has to face from the cats.

Yes she cries a little when one of them gets adopted, both tears of joy and sadness—she's gonna miss them so much. You know she memorized all their names.

Anisa has always had the best work ethic and gives her job her all, but it helps a lot that she really likes the cafe; it has the added bonus of cats and a mostly laid-back clientele who just want to see some cute fluffy babies. This place also happens to be a hot spot for first dates and Anisa always gazes at the new couples with yearning; she can't wait for the day she gets to come here as a customer herself with someone she loves.

So yes, she might be the most put-together out of the three LI's, but Anisa definitely has her unhinged moments, like spending concerning amounts of time staring at the coffee beans in the grinder and fighting the urge to grab a handful just to eat it. She won't do it, but God, that texture must be immaculate. Has she ever thought about trying out the cats' food while shoveling some into their bowls? Maybe once or twice, not that anyone needs to know.

Also she's the worst when it comes to being a chronic ice-kicker.

You can always trust her with choosing the playlist and setting the vibe for the day. Anisa loves the opening shift for that sole reason, and also because she hates the closing shift cleanup. There was a morning when she opened and found the bar looking like a total mess, proceeded to check the schedule so she can give a certain someone a piece of her mind, only to find out it was, indeed, Anisa herself who closed last night.

She's so sweet with the kids and applauds them when they manage to make an order after nervously stumbling over their words.

There are only two types of situations when Anisa might look the slightest bit intimidating; the first is when lecturing customers about not bothering the cats if they're sleeping or forcing them to play when the cats don't want to.

The second is when a customer asks her to watch over a laptop or other personal stuff when they need to go to the bathroom. For the next 5 minutes, Anisa will be your laptop's hawk-eyed, vigilant guardian, throwing herself halfway over the counter to keep watch over your things and make sure they remain untouched.

Her customer smile is well-practiced but oh, the way her eyes light up when her favorite person comes through; you can so obviously tell this smile is far more genuine.

Doesn't shy away from drawing a little heart next to your name over the cup, or maybe a little cat. If your drink comes with a straw she'll always choose the one with her favorite color for you; if she's feeling bold she might ask about your favorite color. Don't confront her about the cute cup art if you don't want to see her stammering over her words, hair poofed up and face all flustered.

"Oooh she must really like you!" Anisa calls out when a cat cuddles up to you. The cat is a naturally cuddly one, but you don't have to know that; Anisa just wants her special person to feel special.

Sage

There aren't many things Sage likes about his job besides doing delivery on the motorcycle—anything just so he doesn't have to stay in that stuffy, cramped kitchenette. So what if he takes a few detours on the way back just to feel the breeze against his face? No one has to know.

He can't even listen to his favorite music inside the shop since he was permanently banned from choosing the day's playlist; not a single one is without an obscenely crude song.

The only other thing he likes about the job is the free food. He's not sure if it's actually free, but he doesn't really care.

Far more easy-going with rude customers than Felix is but less willing to indulge and smile through it like Anisa.

"We're all out of ___."

"Are you sure? Can you check in the back?"

Yeah, sure. Thanks for the smoke break.

Well I don't think he'd actually have a cig on him but he definitely has a flask tucked somewhere in the shirt he was forced to button up to the neck and tuck into his pants.

Otherwise he's quite flirtatious with customers, though more often than not he's just entertaining himself rather than actually expressing interest. Nothing too raunchy, but enough to make the shier customers blush and earn bashful laughter from the old ladies. His customer-service voice is just his casual flirty tone coupled with a lopsided-smile; you can just catch a little peak of that unnaturally sharp canine.

The only reason his manager has yet to fire him for his lack of punctuality and texting on the job is how easily Sage can charm customers and how many he has drawn in with his good looks. You don't even have to try that hard when you're 6'2" with luscious locks pulled into a high ponytail.

That, and he has a surprising talent in making latte art, mostly because Sage has practiced drawing rosetta so many times (yes, because it looks like a dick and he thought it was very funny).

Sure he'll remember your usual if you're a regular but this man is never going to remember your name; no, he won't feel apologetic about it. If he likes you, however...

Pushes his coworkers away the moment he sees your face even if he's supposed to be on break; no one can take your order, alright? No one prepares it like he does anyway.

Hey, he might even start being punctual to his shifts.

So what if he undoes one or two buttons on his shirt? The weather is just oh, so hot ;)

Starts flirting less with other customers and more with you. This is where his terrible pickup lines finally shine. He doesn't mind if you find them laughable; he just feels lucky to see you smile. The more ridiculous/stupid lines are saved for days when you look really down and might need a pick-me-up stronger than just coffee.

If you seem to be into his pickup lines and lack of subtlety, he might just throw the ball in your court by jotting his number down on your cup.

138 notes · View notes

shoot-of-corruption · 10 months

Note

(Oh, look a meme I wanted to send about a week ago and it's Munday again. XD I know there's kinda a lot on here.. If it's too many I starred the ones I want to know the most about. That takes off 3 lol)

icons

*dash games

shipping

*your current RPC

*your character

*an old muse

*blocking

your choice!

Oh look!! A wild munday meme, i posted monday last week, got monday this week and decided to reply to on a wednesday PFFFFGGGHHHH!!

Thanks rainy! I appreciate your asks any day of the week x'D

icons

I have a love-hate relationship with icons. I simultaneously love them for how expressive they can make a post and hate how hard the icon game is on tumblr.

Like one expression can breathe so much more life into a reply or make the intentions you have so much more evident.

Whenever i see people using icons, i see perfect borders or even banners and uniformly sized colorcore icons... and the i feel embarassed.

I decided though that the icons i have might be crooked, not perfect and all a bit weirdly shaped...

But they are mine and they feel very comfortable to use for me in the shape and with the inclusion of exactly how much expression i want!

dash games

I mean they aren't life changing to me, but i always find it sweet if somebody tags me in one and it takes some time, but i usually do them.

If i can identify with the game that is.

What i want to clarify is though that nobody should feel forced to take part in dash games and even if you get tagged in one, you have every right to refuse. Simple as that.

shipping

Gotta say it as it is, I reslly like shipping. It gives me great chances to explore my character more and also their partner.

Usually it is "no strings attached" with me on all muses, which might be because i myself am aromantic... like my muses usually don't care much for romance and are hardly social... but somerimes, there is just this one ship that makes my heart sing 😌✨️

your current RPC

- is actually the best RPC i have ever been in. I have seen a lot of drama here and shit has hit the fan so often for me... but it just feels like home.

I want to come back and go on being here again inevitably.. i have long since stopped trying to explain this. I feel seen and respected and accepted here, i also feel like i am contributing stuff to the fandom and maybe i have also helped shaping it a little bit back in the day.... 🤷‍♀️

It just feels good to be here, i barely get any anxiety and i just love my muses 💚

your character

Honestly, I can't even tell you how i came to rp this complicated miserable mess of a character....

One day i just woke up with this thought in my head that there should be a fleshed out version of Yami Marik. I pondered how this could happen, like... he wasn't fully formed inside of Marik and then obviously killed as well.... the only way in my head was to arrange something in the shadow realm, which i did right after and then the headcanons and feelings came flooding...

By now I reached the level where his brain is as much my own, when i slip him over me like a glove and the words just keep flowing... asking me for headcanons without specifics is always pure chaos, because he is so interwoven with me now, that i know in EVERY situation what he would do, but when prompted with a random i am like: ....... but i need something to react to ..... what do you want to know.... i can't think something out.... GIVE ME SOMETHING TO KNOW HOW HE WOULD THINK ABOUT IT X'D

an old muse

Well another muse which I used to play was

... i think we get the direction my muses usually take now lhjfhsihhhdfkhhx.

Anyway, Flowey was relatively recent and I don't actually play as him anymore. I used to have a love-hate relationship with that too... you know he is a very angery boi, which is cathartic, but it's always keeping tough face with him, or you are risking slipping into mental break down territory.

Also... Underzale fandom didn't feel like here. I wasn't really able to get to know people and additionally, i just used it as a replacement, because i didn't feel comfortable coming back here... i wasn't in s good mental place... like nothing felt right. I think that overflow just went into this muse and actually was what i needed to work through my bad feelings, so thanks Flowey... you seemed to be toxic but you were the healing that I needed.

blocking

What a weird thing to put into a munday list LOL that's like asking: what do you think about the reblog button?

Honestly though.... blocking might be rude to some or an overreaction to others, but I PERSONALLY find it as necessary as breathing. There is some content that you simply can't blacklist, some people, who don't sit right with you, some topics that are beyond traumatic.... and some situations and relationships that looked like a dream but ended up being unbearably toxic.

BLOCKING is a necessary and useful device and should be considered in any and all situations of doubt, fear, toxicity, drama and generally feelings of unwell. Not to forget outright HATE.

Everybody - and I repeat - EVERYBODY deserves the security and self-love in their life to remove themselves from perceived and real danger of mental, emotional and physical properties. This is hard to do in RL and sometimes you have to just deal with your problems head on there or compromise about things to survive.

You should NEVER hsve to do this, especially not online, while doing domething you love and enjoy. All of us deserve to be happy, loved and feel okay. And if there is something - or somebody - that/who causes you to feel constant anxiety, terrible feelings, like you have to give a part of yourself up that you simply can't and won't budge on, that you are unwilling to talk and compromise about, do yourself the service and use the blocking function. You don't have to compromise, you don't have to talk about it, you DO NOT have to EXPLAIN YOURSELF.

Use this knowledge and lead a happier online life. I saw pictures of self harm on my time line once, which i actually have blacklisted, which wasn't tagged and it is very okay to INSTANTLY block this person in anxiety alone. Bloggers cannot keep your timeline trigger free all the time and you deserve to give yourself the attention to remove this harmful content from yourself.

NO QUESTIONS ASKED. You have the highest priority and then everything else follows.

your choice

Oh goody... uhm... I want to repeatedly thank people like you, who are interested in me and my muses and want to know what i have to say. I don't easily leave my shell sometimrs, even though i come off as bubbly and open and social.... i am... really not.

And it's mostly because I made a lot of bad choices about toxic people in my life... people who pretended to like me, pretended to want to know me, ridiculed me and every bit of my being and never took me seriously from a very young age... and it kinda fucked with my self-worth.

That's why i am so baffled, when somebody expresses wishes to know me and that is also why i say sorry a lot and try to explain every bit of "failure" to write better, faster and longer replies ^^

So... it still baffles me sometimes, when i find out that a lot of people honestly like me now... whenever my babbling goes on your nerves, i hope this explains most of it, LOL 💚✨️

#ominor #omi nor #ooc #munday #ria rants #LONG POST #my god this is long #also wrote this on mobile #don't stone me for the bad spelling that is going to be in this #oop #ask

2 notes · View notes

promptsforyourwhumpfic · 2 years

Note

Confession:

kind of bitter with the whump community sometimes because. with my extensive trauma, if my life were a fiction I absolutely could/would be considered a whumpee, and people hate me for it. People don't like how I can't talk about my past bc apparently 'I don't care about them if I don't tell them', but if I ever bring up even the vaguest bits of my past - even just saying "I have trauma" is too much for them and makes people uncomfortable, avoid me, or accuse me of trying to use them as a therapist (when I didn't want to bring it up to begin with)

it just feels so unfair to me that people will love these characters so much for the same reasons that people get deemed inherently unlovable for irl. I'm never going to live a normal life, I may never have lasting relationships or someone who loves me, and I'll probably never live a day where I'm not afraid. I may never have a real 'place' in this world Because of what other, horrible, people did to me. For things that I didn't choose and were out of my control. And I'm outcast for it.

now, I don't have anything against whump in general. I read & write it myself (namely the stuff with comfort at the end, but still). I feel a big kinship with the characters, and usually it soothes my heart seeing that someone like me could still be cared for. could still be considered worthy of love despite their experiences. while their victimhood is the proof that evil exists in the world, something which people Hate knowing, and that they've committed the great sin of not dying from it.

but sometimes I get bitter, maybe in a jealous kind of way? or maybe just salty because I know that so many people who love these characters would hate them if they were real. & this feels like a stupid thing to say, but it's not fair

I’m very sorry you feel this way, anon. Though I’ll be honest, I’m not entirely sure what to say as I can’t speak for the rest of the Whump community - this is primarily because from what I have seen (though my exposure is limited) the Whump community is one of the nicest communities on tumblr.

That being said, I agree with the notion that whump tropes in real life are undesirable - as I am someone who has experienced being socially outcast due to my own issues. Though, I find that a lot of the Whump community are comprised of people with their own traumas and I think that Whump is a cathartic way for them to work through it with fictional characters. I’m not trying to excuse the behaviour that you have experienced, but it may shes a light on why people act the way they do.

But I agree, nonetheless. To a degree I think that people would dislike some fictional characters if they were real, as the emotional and physical toll of looking after them would sink in - when they’re fictional you don’t have to do anything for them: the whumpee is trapped behind a screen and you can choose if you want to ‘deal’ or ‘Interact’ with them whenever you want.

To a point, I think that sometimes people forget that the ailments they write about are real - hell, I even do it. But it takes a certain level of maturity to be able to distinguish your whumpee from a living breathing person that needs more compassion than a text post or a fix it fic. You’re right, it’s not fair that a factional character can get a deeper level of understanding than a real person.

Remember anon, you will always be worthy of love and care.

I hope this is coherent and anyone feel free to add to this discussion in the reblogs/replies.

#discourse #discussion #whump community #not a prompt

80 notes · View notes

wild-chaser · 2 years

Text

so, 9-1-1 and Buddie

I am a bit torn about the fandom recently

On one hand, there are lots of lovely interactions, gifs, and amazing fanfiction circling my dash. It's so positive and uplifting to see this creativity flowing! (and the actors are handsome, so the dash becomes very aesthetically pleasing)

On the other hand, I start seeing some negativity recently. People hating on newer episodes, complaining how it's not what they have signed up for, knit-picking and rolling their eyes oh so loudly.

Apparently there's been some hate towards actors too, but I don't follow those things and as much as I generally disagree, I'm just not up to date with that entire shitstorm -- I am here for the plot, for the characters, not for the actors, even if it does make me smile when I see them elsewhere.

I will not look into their private lives and even official twitter accounts because I am a firm believer that actors' personal lives are just not relevant to the experience (but boy, they can totally destroy the experience if you find out something bad! That's why I try not to, because the character they play is a separate entity but I won't be able to look at them the same way afterwards -- it just sucks my enjoyment out, so what's the point?)

and then there's Buddie

we have shippers and non-shippers, and I feel all the shippers are close to flipping the table recently

now let's make one thing clear: I am a shipper myself

Buddie all the way!

But honestly, let's give this show a chance.

Recently, I have this feeling that every time the show gives us even a glimpse of Buck and Taylor, people lose their shit here.

As if Buck didn't have many girlfriends before! As if Buck having girlfriends wasn't part of why we're so much waiting for him to realize he's into Eddie. The oh-I-thought-I-was-straight-boy getting love-slapped into bisexuality by this wonderful male specimen that is Eddie Diaz. Them jumping from brief-enemies (yeah that was just Buck, I know) to BFFs to casually co-parenting Chris as if it was just the most natural thing in the world. Them being idiots in love while having no damn clue they are in love.

And as I see Buddie fandom on the rise, I see so many voices demanding Buddie to become cannon NOW.

Not this episode? Then surely the next one! Not the next one? GOD DAMN YOU WRITERS! How dare you lead us fangirls astray?!

People, my fellow shippers: how about we take one collective deep breath here?

This story is not over yet. There is (hopefully) rather slim chance of us getting queer-baited by this very rainbow-friendly TV show.

Trust me: if the last episode of 9-1-1 will have Buck and Eddie no-homo'ed with some random women they'd met two episodes earlier, I will be the first one flipping the table, I promise

(╯ರ ~ ರ）╯︵ ┻━┻

But before that happens, how about we stop winding ourselves up for what may turn out to be nothing? Is it really worth it? Does creating drama and overthinking our fears really spark joy?

Remember: if it all actually goes to shit, just flip the table, curse the writers*, and then turn to fanfiction.

Fanfiction will save us.

*but maybe not directly, personally I find venting on tumblr rather cathartic

#9 1 1 #9 1 1 on fox #buddie #evan buckley #eddie diaz #9 1 1 show #9-1-1 fandom #fanfiction

32 notes · View notes

human-person234 · 2 years

Text

LOL ok here's a chapter, oops, my bad, sorry guys. Glad to be back.

I'm actually feeling quite motivated to write, so I'm optimistic about finishing this fic before I hit my next major wall, but no promises--I've learned my lesson about setting expectations too high for myself. I do, at least, have the next chapter partly written, and the rest of the fic planned out.

I'm not here to give a whole sob story or make excuses--I know I don't need to. Y'all are great. But if you're curious, read on, and I'll tell you the gist of what's going on and give you some more detailed thoughts on this new chapter and where the fic is headed.

I never stopped wanting to write this fic! Like, I think about it nearly every day. I certainly didn't stop reading fanfiction, although I delved into quite a few different fandoms over the last few months. But for whatever reason, I just couldn't write.

There was writer's block, definitely--I got frustrated with how the plot got away from me in places, how my lack of planning meant I had to dig for inconsistencies, how I got bogged down in the details.

But I was also mad depressed, and writing about suicide was not a good way to deal with it, at the time. Like, last year, when I wrote Wish I Hadn't Got So Much Better, that was cathartic, because I was feeling that way. Like, I was counting my pills. Read the fic. Idk. But then, I started to get a little better. I moved, and stopped breathing mold 24/7, and things were looking up.

But reading and writing about suicide were like picking at the wound, keeping it open. I thought I'd take a little time, recover, and then go back to it. I started looking for a therapist.

Then, someone who is very very close to me very nearly committed suicide. I dropped everything and hopped on a train (dedicated readers might remember Izuku's thoughts about Shouto in Wish I Hadn't Got So Much Better) and for a while, I was so focused on my best friend, I tried not to think about me.

But, like Shouta said at some point in this fic, there's something intoxicating about despair. It's dangerous, for people like us, who spend our lives fighting in its hold.

Anyway, I'm in therapy now. I'm not going to kill myself. But I got kind of close there a few times, you know?

But I've talked to my therapist (I really like her!) about how I use reading ansty fics as both catharsis and self harm, and she's helped me. I'm eating better. I'm starting a new job soon. We're past the darkest night of the year (literally--I hate winter).

And I started reading my own fics, and the comments. I remembered how much fun it was. I got caught up in the story again, remembered how many things I'd written that I didn't get to post yet. I thought of things I could have done better.

So I started a note on my phone, which was how this whole thing started in the first place, and today before bed I just...opened the document. It felt like such a hurdle every day of these past five months, and it was so easy??? But like my therapist said, I don't need to stress about what I "need" to do, I'll do it when I'm ready and capable of doing it. And I did!

I do think I'm going to make a few edits to the older chapters, but nothing major. I probably will do a comprehensive edit at some point, but eventually I want to get to some of the other fics rattling around in my brain. I want to milk as much pain out of this au as I can, first.

I thought starting this chapter would be hard, because of the gap. But I opened the document, and I'd already written a page at some point in the past few months. And it just started flowing? I only stopped because I have to go to sleep.

I really need to go to sleep. Just a few more things. Damn this post is too long. No edits, sorry.

I previously had a basic outline for the rest of the story, but I've fleshed it out a bit, and done myself some favors in terms of planning for consistency and saving myself work later on.

I also started a section in the outline labeled "painful nuggets to include" and it's just little snippets of ideas or phrases or details that are especially agonizing. I'm going to build the rest of the fic around those nuggets. I'm so excited.

Thank you for having me back! Happy to be here.

#bnha fanfiction #suicidal izuku #ao3 author #dadzawa #dadmic #my hero academia fanfiction #fic update #new chapter

3 notes · View notes

remythologise · 3 years

Note

i. omg. i cannot believe they're not even gonna ACKNOWLEDGE the confession scene i'm in hysterics. like usually it's relatively easy to just Refuse To Acknowledge canon when it sucks, but they WENT THERE only now they didn't???? really resent being manipulated by the cw almost, embarrasingly, to the point of tears but here we are. anyway feeling v grateful for your posting today it's much more cathartic than this show will manage in its last gasping breaths

I’m asking everyone very politely but sincerely that if you have any like. Ability to influence news write-ups or opinion pieces, I really think that this is something we need to publish about in order to make CW aware of how shitty it was, bc that’s the only recourse we have left of complaint. Like Desti-hell memes did to some extent but the method in which they led queer fans on, put down the subtext for Dean to reciprocate, put down the narrative layers, put down the found family and then just completely fucked everything for the sake of the two brothers being alone at the end. WHILE saying fuck you to their queer main character who has been now rendered even more tragically than before. And honestly if they had done Jack and Cas’ character’s justice in their exit I would not be as mad as I am now. If we’d gotten good speeches and moments of emotional catharsis, I would not be as mad as I am now. But instead, we are struggling to reassemble a broken canon that said ‘fuck you’ to its own message of found family. Where the Cas, the Winchesters and Jack suddenly stopped being fathers and son, where Dean and Cas’ romance was just abruptly used as an unreciprocated end point to not be re-addressed because GOD FORBID Dean Winchester be gay or Castiel, the incredibly tragic, textually queer, character of the show, have a happy ending.

And the thing I’m so angry about is the way the writers are trying to excuse their own writing, like people pretending the Empty is ‘peaceful now’ (nowhere is that text, and nowhere does that mean Castiel is at peace, just non-existent when he could be in Heaven had he been a human, and EVEN then Heaven is just a loop of memories. Argh.) And saying like, oh Jack is God now so he’s a bit more detached and like, one with everything. Cool, why can’t he hang out with the Winchesters ever again or have a drink or, I don’t know, BRING BACK CASTIEL? ‘hands off’ ok he brought back EVERYONE ELSE??? Jack just hates his gay dad I guess! Anyway I’m glad I could be cathartic. It’s so insulting to me that literally any of us, ANY OF US, could have written and edited a better show than this. I’ve seen your fan-vids and fanfic like it is outrageous that this ‘canon’ was entrusted to people who are so incompetent. We are easy fucking marks, Supernatural, we have fifteen years of feelings about this show, and you still managed to fuck it up with your dumb montages, nonsensical plot points, shitty editing and appallingly bad writing. On the second to last ep, no less. Fuck me.

#ask #anonymous #spn spoilers #supernatural spoilers #ok but like the fact this show is on the cw I feel like we're just going to... we can't just let this slide guys #like some people genuinely out there like 'oh this ep was fine' like 0 IQ reading of basic competence even just technically #just please watch a good episode from season five and then return to this ep and compare and maybe you'll see

11 notes · View notes