#I still can only watch these episodes in increments
Text
I started watching TW season one again (the only one I actually watched so far 😂) and once again I'm just amused by the plotholes and discrepancies and things they show or say once and never refer to or use again, as well as the technical side of camera shots and cgi - and I'm only in episode 5 so that's a record if you ask me.
(Nevermind that me picking at threads already started with eposiode 1 😂)
Disclaimer: As I said I've never watched that much of the actual series even if I steal the characters to write! Also I'm definitely biased due to the fandom, wiki entries I read and so on. So take all this with a grain of salt! It's mostly stuff I was amused by so if I have it wrong - well. I have it wrong, I guess.
Anyway. On to my observations:
(this got long, so I hid them under the readmore)
Sorry to all the people who like scott, but... he's so boring <.< WHY is that guy the main character? EVERYONE else would be more interesting just from a storytelling point of view! Give me Finnstock, Danny, the Sherrif, or any of the other main cast and just get rid of Scott as main POV <.< please.
It's so funny that they tried to make it some kind of horror tv show. I actually recognize classical horror movie scenes, camera shots that should invoke a certain fear or surprise but they somehow manage to put it in such a context that I laugh because I recognize what they want to do and it just doesn't work.
Might be a me-problem because I like watching horror films, but... it's still very sad.
Stiles says he once had a boa. I asked the internet and it told me boas in zoos can get about 28 years old... Stiles is 16.
Stiles... Stiles, what did you do with your boa?... STILES....
The scene where Stiles and Scott talk through video chat (and is that AOL? Those were AOL-icons... was AOL still alive in 2011? <.<) and Derek stands behind Scott... it's just... why did Scott stare at the screen instead of turning around? Nevermind that he read what Stiles was writing out loud and that Stiles's message was written in such large letters that probably anybody standing 5 miles away could have read it - nevermind the guy Stiles thought was standing behind Scott.
Also: why did Derek just... stand there. Especially once he was sure he'd been seen...?
I know that's also one of the Horror-esque scenes I mentioned but the timing of it all was so bad! (also also: Scott is just stupid <.<)
They use this weird alternative 'sight' for werewolves in the beginning (the scenes colored in red) and it feels like they use that in the first few episodes and never again after that <.<
Another weird scene:
The game where Scott wolfs out and Jackson stays back and finds Scott's glove with holes where Scotts claws came out.
I just... have so many questions...
1) Why did Jackson stay back after not only his own WINNING team but also the audience, the enemy team, coach finnstock and ANYONE ELSE who was probably assigned to clean up the field? He even was still in his own lacrosse gear so he stood back to take up a glove a person who'd cleaned up the field should have taken with them?...
2) Why the fuck was Derek staring at him? <.<... or rather, why was he staring at him for so long so Jackson even looked at him? Did Derek even see the whole game? Why did he let Jackson see him? It's not like he tried to scare him into staying silent, for that his staring wasn't nearly scary enough <.<... it's just... another weird composition. Especially since Jackson and Derek have nothing to do with each other <.<...
Scotts dream where he killed Allison in the bus that mimicked how Peter/the Alpha killed the bus driver.
Even though later it comes out that he was there and tried to keep the Alpha from killing the guy, this dream is just one instance where they try to 'show' Scott's 'connection' with the Alpha. Correct me if I'm wrong, but the connection he has with Peter is the one and only time we see such a connection between an Alpha and a Beta, I think. I mean the whole "I dream of things the Alpha did" and the whole not remembering/blacking out due to instincts and Alpha?
Also, Scott was apparently was hurt/slashed by the Alpha's claws. How come that wound was healed the next morning? I thought wounds caused by an Alpha heal slower? <.< or is that a fandom thing? <.<
I want to hug Derek. Hard.
Poor boy drives to a town he got traumatized in to help his sister/Alpha where she ALSO gets killed and all those stupid teenies do is blame him for her death, for their problems and for anything else the new Alpha did - especially the other killings - so he gets locked up by the Sherrif and when he gets out that stupid pup has the gall to search him out just to - again - blame him for all of his problems and even for the death of his sister and the bus driver <.<...
On that note: I think Derek said he came to find his sister/meet his sister. To me it sounded in that moment as if he hadn't known she was dead when he arrived and that confuses me...
Also: shouldn't he also have a connection/pack bond with the Alpha if he wants to or not? Or does a pack just fall apart when the old Alpha dies until they've submitted to the new one? <.<
And doesn't that mean that Derek's currently a packless Omega? <.<...
Aaand there's another horror film track shot classic that sends the camera from Derek and Scott to the outside of the Hale house where the Alpha is waiting/his eyes are glowing in the dark.
... So why didn't the Alpha go to them? Or did he just... sit there and stare at the house until Scott leaves? If the Alpha runs on instinct why didn't he try to get to Scott or Derek - especially after Scott left - when he is trying to get Scott and Derek to accept being part of his pack? <.<...
Kate drives into town without stopping and the Alpha attacks here somewhere in town. Close enough to Scotts home that he sees her shortly after she shoots her shotgun twice when the shots were what woke him up.
1) did the Alpha smell her through her car and the fumes? <.<
2) did he just stumble over her car while running through the town?? <.<...
3) if not, did he follow her from the outside into town? why didn't he attack her there instead of somewhere quieter? <.<...
I'm still confused by the whole Derek clawed Jackson in the neck and it did something to Jackson-stuff. Especially because Derek's not an Alpha yet <.<...
And finally just a quote from Derek that amused me for potential fanfic reasons when Scott asks why Derek can't just track the Alpha as a human: "Beause his human scent could be entirely different" <.<
#teen wolf#sei's brain bubbles#just me watching TW and blubbering about it#I still can only watch these episodes in increments#and I'm mostly skipping through the Scott/Allison-stuff#because they're getting on my nerves so much#especially Scott is just so stupid...#and I know - 'Teenager' - but I can still watch Buffy without any problems#and the main characters there are also mostly teenagers in the beginning!
23 notes
·
View notes
Text
So we started watching Dungeon Meshi
It’s fantastic, I love it, 10/10 recommend and thus far super faithful to the manga (started reading it afterwards but partner has finished it)
They just said one thing in the episode that super fucking bugged me when eating the killer plants
They said the fruit is delicious as a lure to bring in animals so the plant can eat them - which is probably true at least partially
But the actual literal whole point of fruit from a botanical perspective (and is actually how we define what counts as a “fruit”, like tomato and squash) is that it’s a high energy seed wrapping
Fruit is the only part of the plant that the plant specifically wants you to eat - so that you’ll take its seeds with you and disperse them somewhere else, preferably (to the plant) when you poop so they come with fresh fertiliser
Fruit is tasty and enticing because the plant specifically wants you to take it with you and leave! There’s no point in only depositing their seeds where they already live, and will be competing with the seedlings for resources
Now the parasitic plant that lays its seeds under your skin, that one probably doesn’t put as much effort into nutrients in the fruit - you’re not eating it, and really it only needs a nice smell or bright colour to pull you in enough to grab. Plenty of plants manage that with flowers alone
But it is Super Important for it to let you go at some point because again, if it holds you the whole time and all the seeds germinate literally next to the parent plant, they’re probably not gonna be able to outcompete a grown adult for sunlight, water, or food
If the plant also has parenting behaviours like killing extra animals or people specifically to feed its seedlings, that’s another story altogether and they can spread by slow, incremental growth, but the larger the outlying plants get the less likely the original parent plant in the center is to get food directly
And HERE we can have mycelium networks, interlaced root structures, and all kinds of super cool plant and fungal anatomy! (Or the vines can pass corpses into the middle, but that’s actually less cool)
You do also run the risk of accidental monocultures if your monster plants can outcompete other plant life in the area, but on the whole so long as the bodies decompose naturally there will be opportunities for other plants around them to take advantage of the nutrients too
The big ol’ digestive plant is only sharing with its own root network, so that’s the least cooperative plant, although others can still parasitise that root network or form other symbiotic relationships to cooperate
Clearly none of them have enough of a dominant advantage to outcompete other plants in the area (I do wonder if any of them steal from the fertilising plant), but if the “fruit” really is just a lure and not a seed dispersing method, it’s actually more an edible flower, and we did clearly see some seeds inside the prepared fruit from the fertilising plant and the parasitic plant - which is strange, since its seeds were stated to be inside the vines
(Laios wanted to plant the fertilising plant above ground with them - he specifically is exactly what the plants want to attract)
Anyway, plants are cool, monster plants are cooler, and if they are cooperating through a root structure and sharing food they are also technically communicating and could inform plants along the same root network when adventurers are close even more efficiently than acacia trees releasing pheromones into the air to let other trees know giraffes are coming
There’s also the possibility of some form of plant elitism, where the plant only wants its seeds to be dispersed by a creature strong enough to escape it, and therefore more likely to be strong enough to spread the seeds a really long way
It might not exactly be conscious thought, but it’s fun to think about plants judging you and deciding you’re a bitch
#dungeon meshi#plant rant#monster plants#actual botanists please correct me if i missed anything#it’s been a while since my plant classes#mmm may go look into carnivorous plants for dnd reasons
39 notes
·
View notes
Text
Home
Summary: Joel is shocked her words hurt as much as they do.
Pairing: Joel Miller x Tess
WC: 733
Warnings: 18+MDNI, Grief, child loss, descriptions of blood and wounds. Canonical type violence. A lot of purple prose. Angst. Character introspection out the wazoo.
A/N: I don't know guys. I watch the episode. I journal. It's always a mess. I hit post. Honestly, I'm sorry.
~~ Please follow @radiowallet-writes and turn on notifications to be notified of new writing ~~
Gif by @viktorhargreeves
-----
That’s not my fucking home.
Joel is shocked her words hurt as much as they do. How deep they cut. They tear through blood and bone, carving out a space beneath his ribs where his heart still beats despite all efforts. He could have disagreed, denied, refused. But the damage was done. The pain was real.
When had her words become stronger than bullets? Sharper than steel? The horrid crack of fists against flesh?
Was it before? Before all of this? Before truck batteries and ration cards and fireflies? Lost in the dark of that shitty apartment, cramped bodies and tangled limbs on a mattress not nearly big enough for two? Two people, trying to survive together but somehow apart? Tending wounds and sharing jokes; crapshoot whiskey passed back and forth as battle scars were spared in the smallest of increments.
Or maybe it had happened in between. Lost in the sparse few moments where hope seemed like a plausible option. Not one he had been ready to entertain just yet, but an idea. One he could ruminate on when everything inevitably went to shit. Something to help sleep come a little easier, when the liquor ran dry and the oxy ran low.
Or had it been quicker than that? A flash and a crack, the site of her molted skin fused into his memory. Putrid shades of ultraviolet red spreading faster than it had any right. A ticking watch, meticulous and cruel, as it steadily took one more thing away from him.
He knows though, that it’s always been there. That potential for crudeness, that risk of pain, the fear of loss. It’s all too tight, a twenty year old memory sinking its teeth in him, blood stuck to his hands, soaked into this shirt, caked beneath his fingernails. He carries it with him, the weight of his daughter painted across his body, his arms so pathetically empty, her blood drying on his skin.
He can feel it now. He always has and no matter how hard he scrubs, the stain is still there. The weight hangs heavy, too heavy, for something so distant. Yet there are days, more and more and more, he wishes he could look down at his hands, weathered and beaten and so very empty, and still see that sucky shock of black and red.
He would beg for it if he had the words.
Tess keeps talking. Of time, of the future, somehow hopeful in the face of her own shortcomings. Death waits at her door as she pushes away the man she refuses to call home, one single request parting her lips. She asks him one thing. This one thing and all he can say is no.
No.
He can’t be asked to do this again. To lose someone to this thing, this nightmare. Monsters in the night, shadows of horrors he can’t control. The kind that peel away his flesh and fill him with dread, with only his guilt to keep him company in that shitty apartment, on that tiny bed.
Joel feels his lip tremble, his hands shake. Does he lean in? Step back? Does he run? Should he stay?
There’s only one answer. One.
And it still feels wrong.
Or is it just that nothing can ever be right?
There are no goodbyes. No confessions. Later Joel will say there was no time. The lie no worse than the truth; he didn’t have the words. Not then, not now. And as he ran, faster, faster still, Ellie at his heels and smoke in his lungs, he wonders what the price will be this time around.
There’s no blood dripping down his arms. No marks to wear. No weight to carry. No stains to scrub clean. All he has are her words - cruel in the name of honesty - and in that moment he failed her. He flinched, in the face of her pain, at the beck of her call, refusing to say the thing he knew she could never ask.
And so he plays them again and again. A staccato in his head, loud and sharp between his eardrums. He flinches every time, his eyes dry and his heart hard, testing the weight of those words on the breadth of his shoulders. Would he carry them for 20 years? One more scar, another stain? Is he strong enough for one more truth? One more failure?
She says it again.
Home.
It wasn’t hers.
Joel wished he had disagreed.
117 notes
·
View notes
Note
Tell me about you fav slow burns (18)
ahahahah thank you Shan! And of course just to be contrary I'm only going to choose one.
18. Slow Burn
"Slow burn" can be hard to quantify, because it's so relative and subjective as to what counts as "slow". For me, to count as a "slow burn", characters need to start with limited interest and build over the course of the show, the bulk of the show they need to have some kind of building of the connection that leads to tension between them, and proportionally they need to spend significantly more time not together than being together. The part where it's really subjective is that it's about the viewer experience of time rather than the canonical amount of time the characters spent falling for one another. It's also about the trajectory of the feelings and in particular the emotional understanding, they have to build slowly. In that sense, My Personal Weatherman feels to me like a slow burn in some ways even though they're living together and having sex already at the start of the show, because the emotional understanding is what is slowly building over the course of the series and where the tension is. The characters in My School President, in contrast, don't officially start dating and barely share a kiss until the end of the series, but we have no tension around their feelings a good percentage of it, just about the things preventing them from getting together. I'm also going to caveat out the gate that I'm discounting censored Chinese danmei adapatations for this one because none of them actually make it to canon in their shows so they get discounted on that technicality.
So, with that long preamble, my favourite Slow Burn is....Ingredients.
Hear me out on this one. I know the entire runtime of Ingredients is probably about the length of a long movie, but this is why I had to preamble so hard about objective runtime in the show not being a good measure for this trope. When it was airing live, we watched this show in 5-15 minute increments every other week. For those of us who were watching this series live, the length of time it took these two to get together was 9 months. NINE. MONTHS. And those were not just any months, those were the start of the pandemic months; this show started airing March 2020 and finished January 2021. That period of time, I don't have to tell anyone reading this, did not pass like normal time. All this is to say, the airing schedule and world events absolutely are biasing me on this. But still, the show still also fits the other requirements for slow burn. The emotional understanding between these two builds slowly over the course of the series, there is plenty of UST and pining, and they only officially acknowledge their feelings and get together in episode 19 of 21. Take it from me, the live experience was the ultimate slow burn.
Link to the original ask game post!
8 notes
·
View notes
Text
OKAY
I’VE HAD A FEW MINUTES TO REFLECT AND
season 2 was spectacular and it broke my fucking heart.
do you know how badly i wanted that sad idiot of an angel to turn around and go back to his demon and ride off into the sunset???? do you????
the whole season was watching them yet again orbit around each other, being comfortable and affectionate in each other’s spaces incrementally. and then in the last episode when crowley went off to heaven to finally figure out what the hell actually happened and aziraphale was like “oh, i have a plan. but saving me always makes him so happy” just
AND THEN! aziraphale thinks he can do the saving for once but he was so blinded by metatron’s words that he didn’t see him laying a trap for him and telling him to get in it! aziraphale wants to be loved and accepted so badly that he can’t imagine having what he wanted with crowley without any kind of outside approval! and crowley...poor crowley, cracking his ribs open to share his heart and for aziraphale to turn around and throw it in his face that he still places each of them in their respective starting realms and not on Their Side ™ and you can see the moment that crowley begins to shut down by putting his glasses on in front of him. and then at the last moment he tries, desperately to change his mind with a kiss, probably thinking it’ll be the only one they’ll ever share and it’s bitter and not sweet and JUST
AUGH my heart!
This was some fabulous story telling, my heart is ruined. I need a hug and some ice cream and I need Amazon to greenlight a season three or I’m GONNA HAVE WORDS with them
where’s my fix-it fics????
12 notes
·
View notes
Text
Watch It Or Drop It Challenge - Drama 1
The wheel has been spun, the challenge has begun and first on my list of watch it or drop it dramas is.......
💘 Cupid's Last Wish
Country: Thailand
Episodes: 10
Genres: BL, Adventure, Romance, Supernatural
Director: Golf Sakon Wongsinwiset
Screenwriter: Pong Pattarawalai Wongsinwises, Noolek Sureecay Kaewses, M Rittikrai Kanjanawiphu, Golf Sakon Wongsinwiset
Summary: Korn and Win are childhood best friends. Conflicts arise when Win's father includes Korn in his will, granting him part of the family's farm's stocks. Misunderstandings follow, breaking up their friendship of 22 years.
Their path crosses again when Win gets into a car accident with his sister Lin, and wakes up to find his soul in her body. To return to his original body, Win, in the body of Lin, sets off on a road trip to collect holy water from 4 temples across the country within 7 days. The companion to his journey is none other than his friend turned foe, Korn.
Can this adventure forever change the course of their relationship?
(Source: minticecream, Scarlett & emi at MyDramaList)
Why It's On My Plan To Watch List:
Full disclosure, I watched A Tale of Thousand Stars and immediately fell in love with these two as Tian and Phupha which naturally meant that I had to go and find any other projects they had together. Unfortunately, at the time, Moonlight Chicken was but a twinkle in P'Aof's eye and Cupid's Last Wish could only be found in a format that buffered so much I was watching it in 10 second increments so I couldn't sate my craving straight away. Still, I added them both to my Plan To Watch List for later and then went to go and watch some interviews to fill the void in the meantime. I watched Moonlight Chicken as it came out (no regrets) but Cupid's Last Wish has languished on the shelf for months. Clearly the universe has decided to change that.
Prediction:
Earth and Mix could be reading the dictionary to each other and I'd probably tune in for at least half of it. I know all too well that liking the cast does not mean I'm guaranteed to like the drama but (I won't lie) it does give it something of a headstart in my emotions and makes me more willing to give it extra chances other dramas might not get. Added to this the synopsis seems pretty interesting and I've seen some interesting posts mapping Cupid's Last Wish onto the trans experience which I'm looking forward to digging up and reading in full so I'm going to say it'll be a watch.
Let's see how this goes 💪
3 notes
·
View notes
Note
I love the post you made about sfam. It is probably the 2nd maybe 3rd post I've seen that points out the fact that Johnathan wasn't a saint. I find it very interesting how most people who commented on the series all were like "how can anyone not find Oscar Isaac attractive?" / "I would never do what Mira did!" or saying how Mira was wrong for divorcing him and how she's toxic but hardly any have said that Johnathan was just as bad as she was. I mean, yeah Oscar is very attractive and both he and Jessica made make my bi-heart stutter but the characters they played were both shitty in their own way. I feel like the people that were bashing Mira and saying all sorts of things about her didn't watch the final episode. Johnathan literally cheated on his new wife, who mind you was taking care of his months old son. He also lied to her and was pretending to be somewhere he wasn't, but hey, let's all blame the female character because the male is played by a handsome, charming guy. All this to say I found your post very refreshing <3
@chastainromanova Thank you! It’s so good to see that at least some other people are recognizing that Jonathan is flawed as well. I certainly feel like Mira did a significant amount of damage to him but his damage to Mira was also there. It was just a lot more subtle and incremental in nature. You can say that Jonathan caused a rot while Mira caused an explosion.
And yeah, Jonathan ended up doing the exact same things he and the audience hated Mira for. And why did he do it? Because he and Mira were so out of sync after Mira left that they couldn’t fix the relationship even though at different points they wanted to, and Jonathan ended up valuing his ego so much that he gave up on what really made him happy even when it made its way back to him. I definitely empathize with not wanting to be hurt again, not wanting to give someone that power. But then really get over that person and IDK, properly commit yourself to the new situation that you think is oh-so-right for you. He didn’t do that. In fact, he is doing a whole lot less for his new marriage than Mira did to keep their marriage going even when she was depressed and cheating. It says a lot about Jonathan that both times after having a kid with a woman his marriage with her became stagnant and he stopped looking after the woman herself, focusing more on the child. He really does care more about being a father than a partner. You can hear in his interview in the first episode that he thinks marriage is a platform, as in, it is just going to stay there below your feet. He has a habit of taking the women for granted after he has had a kid with them because he sees that as the ultimate culmination of a relationship. He doesn’t like working on relationships. The only time he actually even wanted to was when Mira was already on her way out, and that’s only because deep down he does love Mira, always has, always will in his fucked up way. But he still couldn’t think of doing right by her before it was too late. And he won’t work on his relationship with Jane at all because he doesn’t even care about her. All he cared about was that she could give him a kid and an environment that reminded him of the one he grew up in.
What I find hilarious is that there are people blaming Mira for ruining Jonathan to the point that he eventually became a serial cheater, but it has been canonically established that a bunch of bad relationships also hurt Mira in the past so are they going to make the same excuse for her? Clearly no. I agree that along with Jonathan’s flaws being a lot more subtle in nature, his actor being attractive has a lot to do with people being biased towards him but buddies, look at Jessica Chastain for a second. She’s a hottie too but that doesn’t make Mira a good person 😂 They’re both attractive and both are playing toxic people, what’s not clicking? It’s exhausting to see only one character getting the bashing in a show where both characters are equally messed up so I just had to speak about it.
18 notes
·
View notes
Text
Episode 10 ripped my soul apart. MAJOR TRIGGERS for this episode: r*pe, self-harm, s*xual assault, s**cide. This is an incredibly difficult episode to watch so please please do not watch this if it triggers you. If you chose to watch it, clear space in your schedule and arm yourself with a truckload of tissues because it will wreck you.
This episode captures the manifestation of the biggest fear that women carry with them with every breath they take. The horror and the anguish I felt watching it unfold before my eyes can not be described. Seeing how that horrific incident traumatized Yun Hui and tormented her in her life afterwards ripped my heart out of my chest and stomped on it.
You will never change my mind that the blame for s*xual assault solely lies in the hands of the perpetrator. Ever. It is only their fault and will only ever be their fault. There is ABSOLUTELY NO FUCKING JUSTIFICATION for their actions. None whatsoever. These are unquestionable facts in my mind.
IT IS NOT THE VICTIM’S FAULT. IT IS NOT THE VICTIM’S FAULT. IT IS NOT THE VICTIM’S FAULT.
If you have ever been in this situation, please do not blame yourself. It is not your fault. Thank you for enduring it and surviving. Thank you for continuing to live.
There has to be a societal shift in how these types of crimes are perceived and prosecuted. It is a taboo topic in which so many victims are pressured into saying nothing and the perpetrators face no consequences. Not only was this case absolutely heartbreaking but also was the knowledge that she was one of the fortunate ones- she lived and her assaulter got convicted. So many people (women especially) lose their lives or have to carry this pain with them for the rest of their lives while the people who caused the pain walk free and unburdened. Only a fraction of these crimes get reported and only a fraction of those get convicted and only a fraction of those face a serious sentence. It is an inadequate punishment. Perpetrators should be held accountable and the behaviors and cultural norms that lead perpetrators (majority men) to think this is okay should be abolished and rewritten. S*xual assault is not a slap on the wrist, the people who commit those crimes did not simply "make a mistake" and cannot be "fixed"- they are monsters and should be labeled as such. They are entirely at fault for the crimes they commit and the trauma they cause.
Ryeon put it perfectly: S*xual assault is a murder on the soul.
Furthermore, no one should have the audacity to victim-shame or victim-blame those who suffer these atrocities. People have no right to gaslight others into thinking that this traumatic thing they have suffered is in any way their fault or that they are exaggerating. I think the absolute fuck not.
If this difficult episode causes at least one person to stop in their tracks and give an ounce more of compassion for people who have survived these situations, it will be progress. If this episode causes people to nip problematic behavior in the bud, it will be an improvement. Incremental change but it is a start.
This episode also made the gross sexualization of women incredibly apparent. The blame was immediately shifted on the women with every single remark being "you shouldn't have XXX".. worn those clothes, been out late, walked there, acted like that, looked at him, breathed etc. It was ABSOLUTELY SICKENING. Women should not be punished and assaulted and traumatized for existing. There is an overwhelming amount of real-life evidence that proves that women can do everything right and still get r*ped, still get assaulted, still die. It is the perpetrator who couldn't keep their hands to themselves.
All of the members of the public INCLUDING HER OWN PARENTS who placed the blame at Yun Hui's feet should suffer a terrible terrible terrible death. You show kindness or comfort or you shut up before I load you in a cannon and launch you into an asteroid. All of the people who were so goddamn lenient with the piece of shit man because of his background and his current lifestyle, who valued the quality of life of the abuser over the quality of life of the victim need to take a good long look at their brain. How do they live with themselves? That defense prosecutor deserves a one-way ticket to extended eternal torture. Fuck him especially.
I watched with glee as Ryung Gu punched the daylights out of the piece of shit abuser. I clapped as Ryeon drove her high heel into his crotch. Honestly think they could have delivered more damage to that area because he needed to feel more pain. I enjoy when the Grim Reapers are all unified in their perspective of a given issue like honoring the veteran in Episode 6. So the epilogue was great because it showed that Joong Gil shared the same perspective of delivering justice to this monster. I love that he slightly broke his own rules by arriving before the monster officially died and changing how he died to make it as painful as possible. He said s*xual assaulters should be engulfed in the flames of hell limb by limb and he delivered. Much appreciated.
I am grateful that Ryeon was able to connect with Yun Hui through their shared experience. I am so glad that Yun Hui received understanding and support from someone who had also used pain as a way to escape fear and guilt and loneliness. You did it because you didn't have anything left in this world that you care about. You are the victim. Not the perpetrator. He is the one who hurt you unilaterally. No one can or should blame you. Even if its yourself. When Ryeon reassured Yun Hui that her scars were not ugly at all but proof of how desperately she wanted to live, I sobbed. Watching her collapse into the hug that Ryeon gave her, it was comfort she desperately needed- supportive comfort. You could tell how emotional of an experience it was for Ryeon as well as she too was shaking.
Yun Jae's side of the case comes from the guilt of not preventing s*xual assault. Of not being in the right place at the right time to save those you love from being traumatized. Horrible words were thrown between the twins but I am glad that they were able to reconcile because they cared about each other more than anyone else. I am relieved that he recognized that the way he could support his sister the most was being by her side.
I am over the moon that Ryeon was able to get legal justice for Yun Hui through her kickass work as a prosecutor. QUEEN.
Episode 10 marks a turning point of getting more indepth with regards to the Grim Reaper’s individual backgrounds. This episode really focused on Ryung Gu as he had the most personal and direct ties with the theme of this case. Learning that the woman he was sobbing while observing from the other side of the street was in fact his mom felt like an elephant decided to take up permanent residence on top of my chest. His mom’s specific cause of death and how he was a young child when he found her hurt. No child should lose their mother and especially not like that. The amount of suffering she must have endured before she made her choice I cannot even begin to fathom. Seeing their close bond in the flashback and how they were each other’s most cherished person made me sob knowing how it ended. He has spent his entire time in Jumadeung waiting for his mom’s reincarnation and trying to find her, forever without her motherly love and affection, only able to watch an identical copy of his mom live out the rest of her life happily and not being able to reach out because she does not remember him. I hope that resolving his regret involves being able to hug his mom again and feel her love and affection for him (that I am sure she carries with her even if she cannot remember him specifically). Ryung Gu desperately needs a hug.
Through Yun Hui, we finally learn how Ryeon died and it was similarly heartbreaking. Her feelings as described to Yun Hui were what really caused your heart to break for her. You did it because you didn't have anything left in this world that you care about. You find yourself lingering, realizing the regret behind the pain. I thought everything was my fault. Because I felt guilty for even being alive. Ever since that day, I've been constantly living in regret for a very very long time. Every single line tore at my soul. To learn that she thought everything was her fault and that she felt guilty for even being alive made me cry. The indirect realization that she has been carrying this guilt and regret and self-hatred for hundreds of years made everything hurt more.
My understanding of Ryeon and Joong Gil’s shared past recalibrated and simultaneously got more tear-jerking. Under Joong Gil’s stone cold facade is a loyal lover and someone who loves and protects fiercely. The way he deflected the sword pointed at Ryeon’s face by literally throwing his sword to intercept it. The tender manner in which Ryeon’s body was cradled by Joong Gil. The agony I am sure was on his face as he cradled her back and forth. The mutual love that they had when they were children never left. So I know that I will need a mountain of tissues when we learn why she was driven to think that she had nothing left in the world that she cared about and felt guilty for even being alive. She was actually the one to die first and that is what landed her in Hell. Because she didn’t want to leave (and wouldn’t let the Director help her get out), that is why she began working at Jumadeung later than Joong Gil. Her biggest regret is taking her life and she now tries to protect people from experiencing the hell and lingering regrets she experienced. His biggest regret is most likely failing to save her. His stance on s**cide is linked to this (even if he cannot remember it) because he subconsciously knows first hand the pain of being left behind by those who make that choice. I think he was hurt by her transfer over to the Risk Department Team because he felt like he was being left behind again. I don’t think she is afraid of him but afraid of him remembering that she was the woman he loved and she killed herself and left him behind. She is afraid of bridging the gap because she feels so guilty for making that choice and leaving him behind. Being even closer to him would be being even closer to those emotions that surrounded the end of her life. I don’t doubt he will be angry when he gets all of his memories back but I honestly think he will have to pause to consider all of these new memories that he has with her in Jumadeung. He has had the woman he loved (loves) by his side for over two hundred years.They are now reunited and she will never leave him behind again (especially if he invokes the Grim Reaper contract in this regard). They yearn for each other so much without even realizing it. She was not Kim Hun at all but Kong. She was who made Joong Gil the happiest in the world and once his memories come back in their entirety that is what will stand out. I need him to learn how difficult it was for her to leave him behind in the first place. I need her to look back and see that Joong Gil never stopped loving her even after she passed. I pray that she forgives herself for the choice she made when she was at the end of her rope and hopeless.
My feeling that there is a child at the heart of this only grows because, in most cases, the person a woman loves more fiercely than her partner is her child. What could have possibly happened is that some type of altercation happened that resulted in their child being killed and Ryeon thinking that it is all her fault and feeling guilty for surviving when her child didn’t. Joong Gil most likely was not with them during that time and they could have been been separated for long periods of time because of his job as a soldier, leading her to spiral in her own thoughts as well as not feeling and/or believing in any support and comfort Joong Gil tried to provide when he returned. She could have even blamed him for his absence and thought that she didn’t have anything left in the world that she cared about. Since the pain of losing her child was too sharp and raw, she could have not noticed that Joong Gil never stopped loving her. The scene that was shown in Episode 9 could have been her attacking him upset that he was not there at the crucial moment she needed him. Similar to this episode in that he was not in the right place at the right time to save her from being traumatized and their child being killed. With hindsight, the words she offered Woo Jin in the hospital of empty platitudes from people who will never know the specific pain of losing a loved one, may actually come from the perspective of losing a child and not losing a husband.
It would be sweet if the soul of their lost child lives in Jun Woong. At the same time, I do not want the main characters’ dynamic to change even if it doesn’t. They don’t need to be tied together in a past life in order to grow closer to one another. It can be through the process of osmosis that Jun Woong reacts similarly to Ryeon or Joong Gil or Ryung Gu depending on the situation. That everyone’s habits and tendencies rub off on one another. That can speak to the strength of their bond and the value of the found family they were able to find and grow while working at Jumadeung.
One of the things that slightly rubbed me wrong this episode was the processing of emotions (especially for the men). Ryung Gu isolating himself to process the resurgence of emotions relating to the theme of this case and when Jun Woong wants to go after him, Ryeon saying “he is an adult, he can handle his own emotions”. When the most touchy-feely half-Grim Reaper there ever was only yells at Yun Jae to get a grip and does not even comfort him considering he was also considering s**cide. People shouldn’t hold themselves back from feeling all of their feelings. It is okay to feel. It is okay to get emotional. It is okay to need a comforting hug regardless of gender! You do not have to isolate yourself! Being an adult does not come with a requirement to hold all of your pain inside of you as you process your feelings alone. That is not “maturity”. IT IS OKAY TO LEAN ON THOSE AROUND YOU. You don’t have to do this alone.
#tomorrow#mbc tomorrow#tomorrow kdrama#episode 10#trigger warnings#it will only ever be the perpetrator's fault#it is not the victim's fault#do not victim-shame or victim-blame or gaslight#be compassionate to all those who have endured such suffering#manifestation of women's greatest fear#stop the gross sexualization of women#scars are proof of how desperately you wanted to live#the best type of support is being by their side#ryung gu's regret and most cherished person is his mom#the continuation of his story next episode is probably going to break me#ryeon feeling guilty for being alive thinking everything is her fault and regretting taking her life for hundreds of years#i will sob an ocean i am sure#joong gil loves ryeon fiercely#she didn't really want to leave him behind and he never wanted to stop being by her side#found family habits and characteristics rubbing off on one another#please reconcile and try to understand one another without anger or guilt#you stayed by each other's side for over two hundred years#it is okay to lean on those around you#comforting hugs#shoulder pats of comfort#you don't need to do this alone
17 notes
·
View notes
Note
I'm the anon who sent you an ask a while ago about my anxiety and panic disorder getting worse and me being back in therapy. I wanted to give you an update about how things are going, because I really appreciate the advice you gave me. I'm on anti-anxiety medication now (I just started my meds today). I'm also making some progress on fixing my sleeping and eating schedules (both were off for the past 2-3 months). I also got into a really good masters program for public health +
I start in September. The only thing that's still sort of bothering me is that my mental health still feels like it's in a very stagnant place. I'm also having a small identity crisis, because one of the things my parents have said to me a few times is that they hope I find a nice guy to marry in grad school. I joke about it with them too, but the whole idea makes me uncomfortable. I've never really dated anyone, because I've never been interested in it. I wasn't really attracted to anyone throughout school and college either. I've been questioning if I'm ace or not, but I'm now also wondering whether this lack of attraction also extends to my romantic attraction towards people. Romance and relationships always sound nice to me in theory, but in real life, I'm not super comfortable with them (I think they're a nice normal part of life, but in terms of myself I don't fully connect with them). Could you give me any advice or reassurance about this? Also I hope you're doing well.
Hi friend!
I'm so glad to hear you're feeling better, and even more than that, you're doing the actual work to become better. So much of mental health is stupid mundane bullshit, like making sure you eat your food + meds/hydrate yourself, going the fuck to sleep instead of watching one more episode on netflix, and reaching out to your friends and just chatting for a bit to feel some human connection. I rebelled against all of it haaaaaaaardddddd when I was in my teens/twenties when other well-meaning adults used to tell me and kept wallowing in my misery, thinking "ugh what do they know, they just don't understand meeeeeee", but I hate to say it, they were right (much to my continued distaste. I hate being told to do the sensible thing.)
Mental health is much like any other slow incremental work you do on yourself, like working out. You're not gonna see drastic results in a day or a week or even a month. But keep doing it, and one day, you'll realise, "hey! i can run for longer than i used to without being outta breath!" or "i can lift more than i used to!" or "i am more flexible now!". Similarly, one day, a few months from now, you'll just suddenly realize that you don't feel so anxious ALL the time anymore. Or that a situation that used to stress you into having panic attacks seems more manageable now. It takes time for your brain chemistry to react to the meds and lifestyle changes, so give yourself that space. It's a daily effort. And if you slip up a day or two (everyone does. I was late with my own meds today), it's fine. Just get back up the next day. A day's miss doesn't undo all the work you've done; making bad choices a continuous pattern does.
The comment from your parents about the marriage thing is just that, a casual comment. It's a half-joke, that you also play along with occasionally. Treat it as just that. In no way are you compelled to do anything you're not comfortable with. Anyway, right now your focus should be on doing your best at your degree and building an independent life for yourself. Use this time to get to know yourself better; you may or may not experiment, educate yourself, whatever you want. See if these type of relationships are meaningful to you, adding value to your life, making you happier. These are things you should figure out for yourself, by yourself, and there's no "deadline" for it. (Hell, I'm in my 30s and I'm still doing it!) Whatever you choose to be and do in your romantic life (including NOT having one) is valid. It's all about what feels authentic to you as a person, and not what other people want from/for you as part of the ideal picture of you in their minds!
Sending you lots of love and good vibes!!!!!!!! ✨✨✨
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
omitb thoughts
So I watched all of Only Murders in the Building season 1 and I've been watching season 2 as it airs and, while I'm enjoying it, I also don't think its as clever as it thinks it is.
I feel like usually mystery TV shows take one of two formats, either 1) The characters solve a "case of the week" while collecting clues along the way to solve an overarching mystery, or 2) The first few episodes set up the mystery, while the subsequent episodes work on whittling down the suspect list until the final reveal in the last episode. Generally, the previous works for shows with longer runs, and the latter works best for miniseries, although that's not always the case.
But OMITB does...neither? And not in a good, subverting expectations kinda way. The writing just feels very messy to me at times. It feels like every episode we just get more information and more loose threads, while rarely resolving the threads (or even cliffhangers) that were introduced in the last episode. While, obviously, continually discovering new information is *part* of a mystery show, it shouldn't be done in a way that feels overwhelming. It should be done in a balance: resolving some of the previous loose threads while introducing new ones.
Like, here's a little list of all the open storylines right now (and forgive me, I'm probably missing some as this is off the top of my head, although that kinda proves my point in the first place):
painting forgery & the painting showing up in Charles' apartment
Charles' fathers affairs and his connection with Bunny
Lucy's relationship with her mother. Also what Lucy saw in the vents.
Bunny's parrot & what it knows.
Whatever Alice's deal is
The paternity of Oliver's son
Howard's black eye
What Cinda Canning knows & what information her intern has about her
Charles dating Jan still
At this point, it feels like there's too much to keep track of, and it actually makes it less fun to theorize and/or be taken along for the ride because it's hard to grasp any sort of order or logic to the progression of episodes. I usually love trying to guess whodunit, but with OMITB I just feel super uninterested, and I think it really has to do with the writing. I'd prefer that instead we started sorta "resolving" some of the open storylines as we go along. I do think the show did a bit of a better job with this in s1, particularly with the Dimas storyline, but my point still stands.
I wonder if this kind of writing is characteristic of the streaming miniseries era we're in. Because it actually reminds me quite a bit of my complaints with Ted Lasso season 2. There seems to be less emphasis, nowadays, on giving each episode its own structure and arc, in favour of writing it kinda like one long movie broken up into 30-mintue increments. I really, really miss that episodic structure as a mechanism to organize a show around. And I think the writing of mystery shows needs to be even higher quality to make up for what it loses with the lack of a consistent episode structure. I also think we're seeing a trend of including lots of twists and turns and shocking moments, even if the writing/story doesn't have enough room to truly follow up on them. Altogether, I find it very frustrating.
So I think that OMITB *thinks* that its super clever and intricate and leaving great clues for the audience to consider, but I just don't agree that it is. I think it's a very enjoyable show to watch, but I think there's a lot of room for improvement in terms of how the mystery is written, paced, and presented to the audience.
#omitb#only murders in the building#omitb spoilers#only murders in the building spoilers#fee says stuff#fee writes meta#omitb meta
8 notes
·
View notes
Photo
⏳ what eludes you now ⏳
by airauralintensity (aka me, jasonbehrs!)
“You could have asked for one hour.” Insights into Johnwan’s love story measured in one hour increments.
fandom: love is for suckers / love that will freeze to death
characters: park jiwan, john jang | jang joon, yeoreum and jaehoon mentioned
ship: johnwan
genre: romance, humour
themes: fluff, angst and its resolution, 6+1, fatphobia mention, sexual assault mention
word count: 11.8k+
rating: T+
read it on ffnet, aff, wattpad, ao3, or below!
~~~
A/N (2.23.2023): Title from Eat Your Heart Out by Walk the Moon. This fic is dedicated to Dez, who bears my Johnwan brainrot with enjoyment and responds in kind.
WARNING for #3. I describe fatphobia and its effects on Jiwan briefly. I also discuss Jiwan’s history of sexual assault in non-grievous terms. Between the way she talked about it on the show and the fact that Johnwan get canonically married, I am taking the liberty of presuming that Jiwan’s healing leads to empowerment with regards to her sexuality and needs. Of course, recovering from trauma looks different for everyone and may not include that path. That all being said: if you wanted a hurt/comfort, first-time-esque kind of description to Johnwan’s sex life, you will not be finding that here.
~~~
1. substitution
John can't believe his luck. Not only did his manager get the time for his Kingdom of Love 2 interview wrong, but the old hag told him it's not worth it to go somewhere else in the meantime when all he has to do is wait for an hour. Hello, it's an hour. He could be working on his deltoids or enjoying a glass of Chambertin Grand Cru with all those minutes!
Instead, he's waiting in the hallway outside of DNA TV's conference room for an interview which should really have been waived for him considering a) he's already done business with the station before and b) said business was only successful thanks to his face and personality anyway.
Yeoreum said they'd interview him early if the 11:30 doesn't show up for her timeslot, but that still means he has to occupy himself for thirty whole minutes in the best case scenario. He tsks. So annoying.
He grumpily settles onto a bench and elects to hate-watch Paik Jongwon's latest youtube video with one airpod in to help pass the time. Not long later, someone takes a seat a few places down from him. He doesn't bother looking up to acknowledge that the person exists, which is more than can be said for the other's behaviour.
"Excuse me. By chance, are you Chef John-nim?"
He straightens out of his slouch in offense at the soft, hesitant voice that dared call his attention. The owner looks like an anthropomorphised garbage bag mated with a Cabbage Patch Kid, and he is less than impressed.
"Yeah, that's me."
She titters a bit in excitement, but she actively reigns it in. He might have appreciated it if only he didn't subsist on attention. "I'm a big fan of Ramen Chef! I watched it every week."
John scoffs. She'd be the only one, and the reminder of that utter failure he had participated in only worsens his mood.
Misunderstanding his scoff as one of disbelief, the woman continues, "It's true! After the final episode aired, I was so sad about it that I rewatched it and followed along as you cooked. It ended up that I didn't have most of the ingredients you used, but that didn't stop me! I just replaced things with what I had, like mung bean paste with doenjang and enoki mushrooms with beansprouts because at least they look the same—and daebak. It didn't taste like any ramen I had before!"
There are noticeable stars in her eyes as she recounts the anecdote, but he stares at her aghast. "Well, of course it didn't. You replaced two of the most crucial ingredients! It probably tasted terrible!"
The bubbles of the woman's effervescence are popped, and she blinks rapidly as she comes back to herself. "Ah. I did, didn't I?" she says with a sheepish shrug. "Those aren't even the only parts I replaced... Well, I still liked it. To be honest with you, I'm not much of a chef," she admits as if he couldn't tell by the everything about her. "That's why my mom owns the restaurant and I—"
"Park Jiwan-ssi?"
Yeoreum waits at the open doorway to the conference room where the new phase of John's life will begin, and the woman stands up to answer her. "Yes, that's me!"
The two women enter the room together, and the door closes on John's flabbergasted face. Not only is Garbage Patch Woman apparently auditioning for Kingdom of Love 2, but she showed up for her interview on time, which means he still has thirty more minutes to kill!
To make matters worse: dissatisfied with ruining his life, she had to go and ruin his recipe, too. He worked hard on those! He made up a brand new one for every episode of that godforsaken show. She had the gall to edit it according to her limitations and claim she loved his cooking? 'At least they look the same,' he mocks in his mind.
He refuses to stand for this, so he gets out of his seat. He spent enough time at the DNA TV headquarters to know where Yeoreum's workstation is, so he goes over and filches a memo pad and a pen. Thirty minutes is more than enough time.
He is still reviewing the paper before him with a critical eye when the conference room door opens again. He looks up with wild eyes, and Yeoreum mistakes his eagerness.
"Yes, yes. It's finally your turn." She gestures into the room with a sarcastic wave of her arm, but John ignores her in favour of stopping the woman, whose name he has already forgotten, from leaving.
"Listen, I get it if you can't afford Hokkaido-farmed enoki on the salary you earn from cashing in the plastic bottles collected off the side of the road, but that's no excuse for leaving your fridge and pantry bare of the necessities. Here." He hands her the paper he had written on while waiting. "This is a list of value brand ingredients that wouldn't offend me if you used them in my recipes. Do yourself a favour and go shopping after this, will you?"
Garbage Patch Woman accepts the list with both hands. "Oh my god. Thank you, Chef John-nim. I will!" She bows gratefully, and she doesn't stop until Yeoreum intervenes, saying it's John's turn to be interviewed.
Yeoreum waits until the other woman is far enough away before chiding, "Yah. You didn't have to talk to her like that." She enters the room without hearing his response.
John shrugs her off then takes a moment to himself before following after her. He needs to be at his most charming for the next 30 minutes, and someone ruined his mood.
God, it's been a while since someone got under his skin like this.
~~~
2. crosshatch
It's no secret that John fell for her words first.
Jiwan is as genuine as he is fake. She cannot help but say what she thinks and feels, a trait that would be dangerous if not tempered by her decorum and natural propensity for kindness. There are no ulterior motives or hidden meanings to her words. For a man who continually forges himself from the fires of insecurity and greed, Jiwan's authenticity in the way she speaks makes him feel more like glass than steel.
Transparent and fragile are not the attitudes you're supposed to have when your girlfriend asks you such an innocuous question.
"Come again?"
"Would you let me draw you?"
He senses that there is a right answer by the way she does not equivocate in the face of his silence, which has gone on a tad too long at this point. He ultimately decides to ignore his silly trepidation, and Jiwan squeaks in excitement when he nods. "Be right back!"
She returns with an A3 sketch pad and a few pencils then resituates herself in the love seat she was previously occupying. "Okay! Please continue what you were doing before. Don't pay me any mind." She sends him a toothy smile then focuses on the open book in front of her.
John gamefully settles back onto the couch, but he can no longer relax as he did before.
As charmed as he was by her way with words, he can't truthfully say he's ever given much thought to her visual art skills (though he proudly announces he's dating the web cartoonist Park Jiwan whenever he catches up with friends and colleagues). The shameful realisation that he has been utterly disregarding half of his girlfriend's livelihood is certainly part of why he was so uncomfortable with her request.
The other part is that he doesn't get it.
It's a lazy morning on a day with no schedules. Before she turned his world upside down—as she seems to have a knack for doing—he was simply hate-reading articles of Paik Jongwon's latest variety appearances on his tablet while drinking a mug of Moroccan coffee. He doesn't have his contacts in, he doesn't have BB cream on, he doesn't remember the last time he washed the sweatshirt he's wearing… yet this is the version of him Jiwan wants to memorialise in graphite?
He has modeled before. He has plenty of experience in sitting still and looking pretty, but the pretty part is controlled. Intentional. He isn't like Jiwan, who only needs a smile to tie her whole outfit together. If there is a subject worth capturing in this room, it's her.
Like the days of Kingdom, John sneaks glances at her to pass the time. Stretched out on the couch as the sun shines into her living room and watching his love do what she loves, John can finally relax again.
"Okay, thank you!" Jiwan chirps.
He lurches out of his slouched position. "That's it? You're done?" He looks at the time on his tablet, surprised to see that almost a full hour has passed since she asked.
His girlfriend nods with a sweet smile. "I appreciate your patience." She gets up to put her sketchbook away, but he stops her with a shout. When she turns to look at him expectantly, he flounders a bit. He hadn't gotten that far in his head. "Well… Can I see it?"
She is clearly thrilled that John asked. Before the shame can fully take root, she tugs him down to squeeze them both into the loveseat, and a rush of affection surges through him instead. She used to be so afraid of taking up space when he was around. She still is, sometimes, but not right now.
Jiwan eagerly offers the whole book to him with both hands, just like she did her love. He accepts it with the same propriety, then his eyes rove over the paper.
The sketches littering the open page depict his full body in the various poses he apparently held himself in while daydreaming on the couch. Though rough in quality, as a set they evoke contentment and domesticity. That is him in these sketches, and yet he is still jealous of the subject for looking so at home.
"This is very impressive," John breathes out.
Jiwan cheers a bit at his earnest praise. "There's more!" She flips to the next page, which contains far fewer sketches. In one corner, it is the grip of his hand on the tablet. In another, the press of his lips against the rim of his mug. The center displays the bangs which he usually keeps out of the way hanging messily over his forehead, right above the rim of his glasses. A stark contrast from the figures on the previous page, everything is so hyper-realistic that he itches to open his selfie camera and compare what he sees to what she drew.
Like never before, he understands now what Jiwan means when she says she can feel his emotions through his food. He is made to remember such innocuous moments—the nights when she sits in the kitchen just to watch him nimbly chop ingredients, the blush on her face when he smiles at her, all the times she tells him he doesn't need to wear gel at home—just by looking at the page.
"Is this what I look like to you?"
Jiwan tips her head curiously. "Hm? What do you mean? You don't think they look like you?" She frowns as she inspects her sketches with a discerning eye, trying to identify improvements to help the subject recognise himself better, which is just so Jiwan.
John chuckles freely as he cups her cheeks to bring her in for a kiss in lieu of a proper response, unheeding of her concern and subsequent surprise. It takes only a moment for Jiwan to let go and enjoy the affection, and the sketchbook eventually falls off his lap in their ardour.
The sound surprises her enough to pull away, and John blinks into awareness to find an embarrassed Jiwan averting her eyes.
"Um. Thanks for letting me draw you."
He loves his girlfriend when she is confident and persistent, but this Jiwan is too cute. He brings her drawing hand to his lips to leave a kiss on her knuckles. "It was my pleasure," he says in English, knowing full well the effect it has on her.
John reaches down to hand the sketch pad back to her, but his attention is drawn to the page it fell open to.
"What's this?"
'This' refers to a four-panel comic in Jiwan's classic manwha style, and the characters portrayed are unmistakably the two of them.
Jiwan blushes as she snatches the book out of his hands. "Stop looking at me like that!"
He doesn't know what he looks like, but he feels delighted and deeply surprised. "Is this the new trend for the web cartoonist Park Jiwan-ssi? Raunchy, suggestive humour? I have to get WEBTOON on the phone; I bet they'd love to know," he teases as he tries to get the book back. He needs to get a picture of that.
"John Jang! Don't you dare!" she squeals as she escapes his determined hands. He playfully pursues her through the house, taking note of the joy lining her eyes and her peals of laughter despite her admonishments.
For a woman who always means what she says, Jiwan doesn't always say what she means. He may have fallen for her words first, but falling in love with her means learning the difference; and that attention to detail proves there is strength in clarity.
~~~
3. chemistry
It's a little embarrassing, but Jiwan understands. To an extent, she's even grateful for it. Her relationship with her body was complicated enough thanks to the fatphobic rhetoric she's heard her entire life. Add in the ways she was abused in middle school, and it's no understatement to say she spent more time ignoring her body and pretending it isn't there than treating it like an actual part of her.
With age and therapy, though, things are different. She loves herself the way she is, and she wants to be loved for it, too.
John, however, refuses to get the memo.
They haven't gone any farther than touching over the shirt, no matter how she tries to convey that she is more than okay with going further. What is the point in dating the Fourth Most Eligible Bachelor in Seoul if fans can see more of her boyfriend's body in magazines than she can in real life?!
Once, John called her cute 'like a Cabbage Patch Kid', and she thought nothing of the sheepishness and odd note of contrition in his voice at the time. Looking back, she's now entertaining worries that he considers her childish, that he doesn't see her as a woman. She resolved to do whatever it takes to change his perception of her tonight.
Luckily, two of Jiwan's best friends happen to embody every conceivable tenet of Korean femininity, and they were more than happy to help.
Under her coat, she's wearing the sheer and lacy babydoll set Jiyeon assured her was becoming and beguiling. The bluetooth speaker is playing a mixtape Yeoreum made of mood-setting, sensual tunes. The perfume she knows John likes is applied to both typical and strategic locations. If the two of them don't see any progress tonight, they never will.
When she finally hears the front door unlock, she allows herself a self-satisfied glance at the clock in the entryway. She timed her preparations well: it's only been a little less than an hour since she herself got home. She positions herself at the top of the stairs, visible from the front door.
"Jiwan-ah!" John calls distractedly as he shucks off his coat and shoes. "I'm back from Cheondam Jjang!"
She steels her resolve, recalls the twin wishes of Fighting! from her friends, and walks down the stairs to meet him. "John. I've been waiting for you," she says in what she hopes is a seductive voice.
He regards her long coat with panic. "Did we have something planned tonight that I forgot about?! How long was I making you wait? Are we late? Give me, like, 5 minutes, and I'll be ready to go!"
Jiwan hurries to bodily get between her frenzied boyfriend and the door. Perhaps 'I've been waiting for you' was not the best opening line, and perhaps her low tone sounded less like seduction and more like a reproach. "Wait! We're not going anywhere; we're not late to anything!"
His relief is quickly replaced by confusion. "Then what's with the coat?" His head tilts as he realises something. "And the music?"
She kind of wants to hide in her room and cry frustrated tears at how inauspicious the start to their evening is, but she is determined. She takes a deep breath and straightens her shoulders, meeting John's eyes with intention. Instead of a verbal reply, she slowly unbuttons her coat and shrugs it off her shoulders in one fluid motion.
The way his eyes draw immediately and automatically to her chest is a good sign.
She takes advantage of his arrested state to stalk toward him, one high-heeled foot in front of the other. She relishes in the way his eyes clearly don't know which part of her to look at even as he stumbles backwards in an attempt to keep some distance between them.
He eventually collides with the newel of the stairs, and Jiwan firmly presses up against him. "You can do more than look, you know." She reaches for his hands, held up by his head like he was caught red-handed, and guides them down to her sides, high enough above her waist to almost reach her chest.
The thin fabric of the lingerie is no barrier for the heat of his palms. His fingers flex once then hold her; and for a split second, all she can think is yes.
Then he pushes her away. "Jiwan, what's happening right now? Are you pranking me? Which network thought this would be funny? I just want to talk."
The night is quickly spiraling out of control, but she tries a last-ditch effort to save it. "This isn't a prank," she explains firmly as she steps back into his space, twining her arms around his neck. "I am trying to seduce you."
Both of his eyebrows raise. "Like this?"
"Yes, 'like this'!" she finally erupts. She stomps back to the entryway to collect her crumpled coat from the floor, and she hastily buttons it up around her as she brushes past her boyfriend. "When I'm not 'like this', you ignored all my other attempts to have sex with you, so what else was I supposed to do?"
"Jiwan, I wasn't ignoring you. I was trying to take things slow; I was trying to respect you!" he justifies as he chases his irate girlfriend up the stairs. He grabs hold of her arm; and when he cannot encourage her to turn around, he jumps up the steps to face her.
His chivalry is neither appreciated nor warranted. "I'd feel a lot more respected if you listened to me all the times I was trying to tell you I was ready," she retorts with crossed arms and without meeting his gaze. "Middle school was ages ago, and I trust you."
John tentatively reaches out for her; and after a huff, she lets him. He rubs comforting circles across her shoulders and down her arms. "You're right, you're right. I'm sorry. Can you blame me, though? I'm your first boyfriend, and you're the first person I've dated seriously since I became a celebrity. I think I was going slow for me, too."
Her embarrassment and annoyance ebb away with every turn of his palms and every word he says. Forgiveness is easy after that. "Now that we understand each other, can we stop going slow?" she pouts.
He leans down to kiss her forehead in response, but she deserves a little more than that after what he put her through. She tilts her chin up for a proper kiss, and the simple affection deepens into something heady and encompassing without either of them meaning to.
"You look great in this, by the way," John gasps out between kisses. His hands slip through her suddenly open coat and wrap around her waist, fingering the lace patterns against her back. "Like, really great."
"Oh, Joon," she exhales when his lips descend to her neck.
(She says his name three more times that night.)
~~~
4. foot-in-mouth
As the owner-operator of several successful restaurants, John knows how important it is to honour a time commitment. This is why he is currently freaking out.
"Can you stop freaking out? I called ahead of time; they know we're running late."
"Jiwan-ssi," he says with all the patience he bought second-hand at the store once he realised Jiwan deserved better than his hotheadedness and gut reactions. "We aren't running late to just any restaurant reservation. This is the reservation to end all reservations!"
She laughs at him outright. "Why are you acting like we're eating at Paik Jongwon's restaurant? It's just lunch at my mom's pork feet place."
John presses harder on the gas.
Ten minutes into their reservation, they finally arrive at Devil's Jokbal. Instead of a minimum wage teenager at the front counter who politely explains to them that their table has been given up to people who showed up on time, there is a middle-aged couple on the older side who greets them with unrestrained exuberance.
Well, they greet Jiwan. John is just there.
"Omo, omo, omo. Is that my Park Jiwan-ssi finally making time to visit her poor old mother?"
"You're more lovely in person! That damn show. All those cameras, and they couldn't capture any of your beauty? Whatever they paid you, it wasn't enough."
"Mom! Dad!" Jiwan cheers as they wrap each other up in a big hug. The sight is so heartwarming, it makes John want to call his mother and tell her he loves her.
Jiwan breaks away and pulls John closer. "This is John, my boyfriend," she introduces with a wide smile, and it's showtime.
"John Jang is my name." He bows deeply and articulates clearly, pausing between the two names. He learned to do that because people kept thinking John was his family name. He rises and passes along the flowers he brought. "These are for you, eomeonim. It's nice to meet you both."
"Omo, such nice manners. I'm Yom Syejin, but eomeonim is definitely fine with me!" Her mom bows cutely.
"You can call me 'sir'." Her dad reaches out for a handshake, and he doesn't let go after a polite amount of shakes. "'John', huh? That's not Korean, is it?"
"No, sir. My Korean name is Jang Joon." Her dad finally lets go of the handshake, and John steps back and hastily gives a shallow bow just for lack of something better to do.
"Why 'John'?" Syejin asks politely, and John freezes. If he tells them the truth, they'll (correctly) think he's greedy. Worse, they might think he's unpatriotic. He's served his mandatory conscription already; he can prove it!
Jiwan, as always, comes to his rescue. "He's a celebrity, Mom. You know they always need to change their names to get more popular. It's good for brand recognition."
"I'm gonna call you 'Joon'," her father states with a smile that doesn't seem to reach his eyes.
John tries very hard not to think about the fact that the last person who called him 'Joon' was Jiwan, and he tries extra hard not to think about the circumstances in which she was calling him 'Joon'.
"Yes, sir." He doesn't salute, but it's a near thing.
The four of them—polite, appraising, hopeful, and panicked—stare at each other in the waiting area of the restaurant for a few seconds before Jiwan's mother claps her hand with intention. "Why don't I show us to our table?"
As he and Jiwan trail after her parents, he can't help but feel like he's walking to the gallows.
As soon as they sit down at the booth, the minimum wage teenager he expected appears to take their drink orders. A glass of beer would really take the edge off right now, but he doesn't need to look sloppy in front of Jiwan's parents. "Water is fine."
"Not a beer man, huh, Joon?"
He chokes on his own spit.
Jiwan fusses over his face with a napkin and defends, "He's driving us, Dad."
"Oh, he drives! Our Jiwan never learned. She was so busy with her sketchbooks and expensive markers," her mom teases, and Jiwan picks up the banter easily.
John is ready to cut in with praise for how far Jiwan's talents have gotten her, ready to start making a good impression, when her dad speaks up again. "What kinda car you drive, Joon?"
He straightens in his seat proudly. He loves his car. "A Genesis G70, sir. Latest model."
"Hyundai, huh? What's wrong with Kia cars?"
At his side, Jiwan meeps. "Dad works at the Kia factory in Gwangmyeong."
"Kias are great cars!" John interjects hurriedly. "I was looking at the Stinger, actually!"
Her dad hums noncommittally then turns to Jiwan with a friendly smile. "You're so down to earth, Jiwan-ah. Where did you find this flashy pretty boy?"
"Yes!" her mom pipes up, eager to talk about things she cares about again. "Tell us how you started dating! What happened to Kim Joonho-ssi?"
Jiwan's face perfectly shows the displeasure that John feels at the name. "We agreed to give it a try for a month, but it was clear from the beginning that it wasn't going to work out." The harsh tone of her voice softens. "John confessed to me before I could get too lonely, and we've been dating ever since."
John doesn't know what Jiwan's parents' stance is on PDA, so he doesn't do anything more obvious than squeeze her knee under the table. At the sweet smile Jiwan sends him, he's sure she understands what it means.
"You make a habit of going after taken women, Joon?"
Simultaneous shouts of "Dad!" and "Park Youngwon-ssi!" are not enough to drown out the bang of John's knees hitting the underside of the table. He hisses in pain; and after he waves off Jiwan's concerns, she turns on her father. "Dad, that was uncalled for."
"I'm just tryna to get to know the guy!"
"Sure, but you're supposed to ask things like 'What are your hobbies?', not 'Tell me all of your past misdeeds'."
"I've gotten really into golf, lately," John pipes up, desperate to find something they can talk about.
"Celebrities and their golf," her dad mutters.
"Okay, I have two waters, a beer, and a Coca-Cola," the minimum wage teenager recites as they set down each order, effectively cutting through the tension that built up between the four of them. "Are we ready to order?"
John hadn't even had a chance to look at the menu yet. "We'll have pork feet, of course. Family style and diablo level," Youngwon says.
If there's one thing John can appreciate, it's a restaurant's shtick: Devil's Jokbal named their spice levels after international words for 'devil', and diablo is their spiciest level. Separate from his anxieties about today's meeting, he was really excited to try the food.
"You can handle spice, can't you, Joon?"
John puffs out his chest. "Of course. I'm Korean, after all," he adds in, still worried about the patriotism thing.
"Actually, I'd like to ask John something," Syejin speaks up before her husband can corner him into another battle of wits, and for that she has John's eternal thanks. "We watched Kingdom of Love, of course. There probably isn't a single person in Seoul who didn't," she jokes off-handedly, "and I couldn't help but notice that you were very interested in the weatherperson. What's her name again? T-T-Tae…?"
John nods. "Jang Taemi-ssi." While a little bit uncomfortable, this is at least a line of questioning John expected and is confident to answer. "My story is very similar to Jiwan-ssi's. Taemi-ssi and I tried dating for a little while, but it was clear to me from the beginning that she wasn't right for me." He looks over at Jiwan and says earnestly, "If I could live my life a second time but only change one thing, I would have appealed to Jiwan's heart as soon as I met her."
Simultaneous "awww"'s are cut off by Youngwon's gruff interruption. "So you wouldn't have pushed my precious daughter off of another contestant after a harmless game of chicken fight?"
To be completely honest, John kind of forgot he did that. Based on the look on Jiwan's face, she did too. They were strangers to each other back then, barely blips on each other's radars and far more preoccupied with people they thought would be better fits for them.
In the same instant that he feels guilty, he can also feel Jiwan's forgiveness, and that's what matters.
It bolsters him to respond the way he does. "Sir. Eomeonim. I understand that you may have preconceived notions about the person I am based on what you saw of me on the show, and as a result you may not approve of my dating your daughter. I will not lie to you and say I'm different now. I remain a prideful man with singular focus, and it manifests in high standards that burn more bridges than they mend.
"I wholeheartedly apologise for every offense I've caused you or your daughter, but I cannot apologise for who I am, not when it has allowed me to achieve my childhood dreams twice over despite my relative youth. Eomeonim, when you look around this restaurant, don't you feel good? Like all the sacrifices you made were worth it because it led to such a great establishment?"
Tears delicately well up in Syejin's eyes without spilling over, and John smiles. He sees where Jiwan got the habit.
A glance reveals Youngwon's rather impassive face, but John isn't deterred. He isn't done yet. "I am not very different now, but I have changed, and that is all thanks to the amazing woman Park Jiwan-ssi is. She reminds me that it is always worth it to fight for something that matters to you, that true criticism is offered out of kindness, that being yourself is the only way to find the things that are meant to be… She reminds me why I love cooking.
"You don't need me to tell you that you've raised an amazing daughter. All I'm saying is… If I can spend my time with her, watch her laugh, and give her even half the support that she gives me, then I want to do that for as long as she lets me."
No sooner does the sentence end before Jiwan tackles him into a side hug that he gladly returns, onlookers be damned. He is unsurprised to find Syejin's tears freely falling down her face, but the mistiness in his own eyes does take him aback.
With a brief kiss to her forehead, he arranges himself and Jiwan back in the booth they're in and turn to receive Youngwon's appraisal.
They don't have to wait long. "Did you just ask me for my daughter's hand in marriage?"
Spit take. "Dad!" "Park Youngwon!"
"You're tryna tell me you used every damn word in the Korean dictionary to tell us how much you love our daughter and you're not tryna put a ring on her finger?! This is the problem with you Seoulites; you're all talk and no action. The next time I see your sorry face you better be ready to beg for the privilege of marrying Jiwan-ah, alright? And don't you dare for a second even think that she'll be joining your family register just because you have more money. Now sit your butt down; the food is here."
.
"That wasn't so bad!" Jiwan chirps as they wave goodbye to her parents.
"Jiwan-ssi, that was the longest hour of my entire life."
She frantically checks her phone. "That was only an hour?"
"Exactly," but honestly he would have taken however long he needed in order to win over her parents.
He is just happy that by the end of the lunch, he fully accomplished this goal. Any bruises on his pride and knees are completely worth it for that alone.
Besides, he received helpful, explicit instructions on how to approach the marriage conversation when he's ready, and he doesn't think it'll be long now.
~~~
5. dis/appointment
Opening up a new restaurant was no less work the third time around.
The parts he actually enjoyed—negotiating with ingredient suppliers, planning the menu—were constantly set aside in favour of more pressing concerns like confusing zoning ordinances and remodeling mishaps. He hired a project manager to handle the daily headaches, but decisions still had to be finalised by him. Besides, he couldn't help but want to personally oversee as much of the process as possible. His livelihood (and more importantly, his reputation) was at stake.
A long day poring over contracts and licenses just didn't bring him the same satisfaction as a long day in the kitchen, and he's coming up on two months' worth of long days.
To make matters worse: he couldn't even seek absolution in his girlfriend's reprieving embrace. Production on the drama adaptation of I Loved That Jerk had ramped up not long after he and his business partners decided it was time to open a third location. Jiwan had been spending more and more time at the production studio than in her own home, and their schedules hadn't lined up nearly as often as either of them would have liked. He missed her so much.
Even now that he can see the light at the end of the tunnel, he still does.
This morning, the ink dried on the final papers that mean Seorae Jjang can officially open for business. There is now only a month of last-minute adjustments and double-checking details left between him and peace.
Jiwan even texted him earlier confirming that she would be home today, which means he could tell her this good news in person. It's shaping up to be one of the best days in his entire life.
When he arrives home, he can hear Jiwan puttering around in the kitchen the way she likes to do because "cooking at home compromises your work-life balance, John!" He can't recall the last time she was home before him, and he says as much in lieu of a greeting.
"John!" Jiwan hastily shuts off the gas before launching herself into his arms, and he staggers a little from her momentum. She smells like day-old perfume and his homemade gochujang, and it's his new favourite smell.
She drags him to the kitchen island and bustles about to plate the food. "Come, come! I made us dinner. I want to hear all about your good news. I have something exciting to share as well."
"You go first," he encourages as he takes a seat. He just wants to hear her voice and experience her presence. He's been utterly denied of both for too long.
"Are you sure? Well, okay." She blazes through the dance of polite deference easily and quickly gets to: "We got the premiere date for the I Loved That Jerk drama! It's real; it's actually happening!"
"No way. No way! That's fantastic news, Jiwan-ssi!" He stops whatever she's doing with a firm kiss on her lips then picks up his phone. "When is it? I'm letting my manager know to clear the 24 hours before and afterwards."
"Afterwards?"
He wiggles his eyebrows at her. "Afterwards."
She pushes at his shoulder to distract from her blush, but the pretty hue that blossoms on her cheeks is all he can pay attention to… So much so that he thinks he mishears her.
"Come again?"
"It's next month. On the 30th."
He puts his phone down with a heavy hand. "You're sure it's the 30th? Not the 29th, or the 31st?"
But of course, it's on the 30th. It wasn't enough for their careers to keep them separate during the hard times, but now they can't even share the good parts together either.
"Is something the matter?" she asks with genuine worry.
John would love to tell her everything is fine, except… "The 30th. That's the day Seorae Jjang opens."
She frowns and pulls out her phone to scan through it. "That's inconvenient, but I think we can make it work. The premiere events start in the afternoon but continue well on into the night... Do you think you can step out of the kitchen in time for the—?"
His eyes bulge out of their sockets. "—I can't abandon the restaurant during the grand opening. What if they need me? My team is good, I trust them, but I should still be there."
Jiwan's face is carefully blank. "You don't want to support me?"
"No, that's not it at all!" He gets up to hold her hands tight in his, as if the physical contact will make her believe him more. "Just because I can't go to the premiere doesn't mean I can't support you in other ways! I'll watch it on Naver as soon as I get home," he promises fervently. "I'll make a bunch of burner accounts so that I can rate and vote and comment and whatever else they make fans do to prove they invested in the right IP."
Jiwan keeps her attention fixed on their hands. "But you won't go to the premiere with me."
John sighs. He brings their hands up to his lips to place an apologetic kiss on her knuckles, hoping to catch her gaze as he does so. "I'd love to, Jiwan-ssi, but I can't."
When she does look up to face him, it's with shiny eyes. "If you'd love to, then do it anyway," she says, steadfast despite obvious reluctance for what she is instigating.
"… What?"
"I get that this is your big night, but it's mine too, and... and my night is bigger." He reels from her bold statement, and Jiwan keeps going. "This is my first show, for my debut webcomic. This is easily the biggest thing that's ever happened to me. Can you say the same? Is this your singular greatest professional achievement?"
He isn't speaking with "I have to buy this; there's a bow on it!" Jiwan or "like the game says: sorry~" Jiwan. This is the Jiwan that had to rescue herself from an abusive environment, that had to ignore disparaging remarks about her size and shape everywhere she went, that had to force herself to keep creating even when no one would pick up her webcomic pitches. Maybe he would still love the persistent Jiwan if she weren't being so unfair.
"It could be!" he seethes. "Seorae Jjang is my most specialised and ambitious dining experience yet. No one else in Seoul is offering French-Korean fusion the way I've designed it; it's practically Michelin worthy. I could even overtake Paik Jongwon as the most influential chef in South Korea! My reputation is at stake here."
"And mine isn't?" She crosses her arms with a huff. "You have two successful restaurants already, John; you won't be set back if this one happens to fail. If my show doesn't succeed, I'm not only losing out on potential licensing deals. The success of all my future webcomics will suffer—whether people will read them, whether they're adapted. No, don't look at me like that. I am not exaggerating. It happens all the time."
It bothers him to no end that they are standing here, defending their livelihoods to each other, when they've had this exact same conversation under much happier circumstances before. She knows why Seorae Jjang is a big deal to him; he knows how important this premiere is to her. He is still incredibly happy for her despite the circumstances.
He forces himself to breathe, to de-escalate the tension. Finally, "I would never ask you to choose my important night over yours. It's unfair of you to ask that of me."
She looks him dead in the eyes when she counters, "It's selfish of you to weigh them with equal importance," and it sounds like a funeral toll.
John turns away. He doesn't want to see her like this. He wants to calm down.
After a long moment, he senses her depart from the kitchen, and something about her stride makes him nervous. He listens carefully as she stalks up to their bedroom, and he springs into action once he hears some heavy thuds and the sound of zippers.
"What are you doing?" he calls out as he sprints up the stairs, trying to rationalise that perhaps he is jumping to unwarranted conclusions. Unfortunately, he reaches the bedroom door to find his conclusions very much warranted.
She doesn't stop packing. "I'm going to Hyejin's. I don't want to sleep next to you tonight."
She's leaving?! "Jiwan-ssi. Jiwan, please. That's no reason to leave your own house. I'll take the couch if it bothers you that much." He tries to stop her moving hands, but she jerks free of his touches. "Jiwan, please."
"It's still too close," she maintains as she heads for the bathroom to retrieve her toiletries.
How far away from him does she want to be? "I-I'll leave then," he shakily offers. He's already trying to remember where his own suitcases are. "Come on. If you don't want to be in the same house with me, I'll leave then."
"John."
He turns to face her again with confused, blurry eyes, and she at last has stopped moving. "You gave up your condo to move in with me, remember? You don't have another place to go."
She's right, of course. In practically no time at all, he had centered his entire way of life around her, and this entire house is filled with proof of that.
When he focuses on the present again, she is zipping closed her suitcase. "I just need some time, John."
He wants to ask so many questions—How much time? Why is she doing this to them? What happens now?—but before he can settle on any one, she takes tentative, measured steps towards him. She's bridging the distance, but it brings him none of the comfort that he seeks.
She takes one of his hands in hers and rests her other on his cheek. The only thing he wants most in the whole wide world at this very moment is to reach for her, but he can do nothing but watch.
Her face is set in determination reminiscent of the night they had their first time, and the emotional distance between that memory and the present makes his heart ache.
"I'm angry. I'm so angry at you, John Jang, but it's because I love you just as much."
She places a kiss in the scant millimeters between her thumb and the corner of his mouth and steps back.
On unsteady feet, he follows down the stairs, and he makes no move to stop her when she closes the door on his face. In the resulting silence of the house, the click of the lock echoes.
He collapses onto his knees and drops his head into his hands. He needs a drink, he needs a shower, he needs a bed. He raises his head as he decides which to do first, and his eyes happen to catch sight of the clock in the entryway.
An hour.
It only took one hour to define the worst day of his entire life.
~~~
6. countdown
10:45pm
Despite the late hour, she still finds herself answering the same questions. "Yes, I'm the Park Jiwan in Kingdom of Love 2." "No, the show turned out even better than what I imagined." "Yes, let's take a selfie!"
"No, John couldn't make it tonight."
If it was tiresome four hours ago, it's downright irritating now. Thank goodness there are only fifteen minutes left before it's socially acceptable for her to leave.
The night wasn't all bad, though. Far from it. She was glad to hear for herself the joy and laughs as people watched the first episode. She appreciated all the fans who came up to tell her their journeys of discovering her work. She even made some new industry friends tonight that she can't wait to get to know better, professionally and personally.
Regardless of her gratitude and the success of the evening, she's ready for it to end. All things—good, bad, and beyond the spectrum of moral judgment—must come to an end.
10:51pm
With less than ten minutes to go before closing time, he explains to his business partner in no uncertain terms that he will be leaving as soon as the clock strikes 11.
"But it's Seorae Jjang's grand opening! Stick around a bit. Have a celebratory glass with the staff for a fantastic first night." And it was fantastic, more than they expected it would be and even still further than he had hoped.
It's just that he's still wondering if it was worth it. "I'm sure they value their time as well. I'll give them a bonus or something. We got plenty of investors tonight, that shouldn't be a problem."
"You haven't cared about punctuality before," his partner comments with suspicion. "Are a few more minutes really going to make that much of a difference?"
"Yes," he says quickly, but he actually doesn't know for sure.
Jiwan did come back home after a few days, not that a casual observer would be able to tell. If he wasn't seeing her before, he saw even less of her in this past month. The handful of times he managed to catch her, she didn't stay, and he didn't ask her to. He didn't want to rehash the same argument, and he was afraid she'd refuse besides. The memory of her closing the door on him still replays in his unguarded moments.
Now the baneful day has come and gone, he doesn't know whether the tension between them will still be there when he gets home. He doesn't even know whether she will be getting home.
But if she does, he would rather find out earlier that he was too early than find out later that he was too late.
11:06pm
The taxi she called doesn't come a moment too soon. She recites the address as soon as she opens the car door and settles into the seat with a sigh.
The breath carries with it all of the adrenaline and tension and unadulterated emotion of the day, annoyances and regrets included. The farther away she gets from the private club where the afterparty was hosted, the less everything matters to her except the deep, immovable satisfaction of a job well done.
It isn't forgiveness, necessarily. More like acceptance. The decisions were made, the night is over, and she is simply tired. In her unguarded moments, she didn't give much thought to what happens afterwards except for a fluffy blanket and catching up on a month's worth of lost sleep.
She knows a conversation is impending, but she refuses to be responsible for the timing. Maybe it's cowardly, maybe it's selfish.
She's made a habit of those attitudes, lately.
11:22pm
The cars had been bumper-to-bumper as soon as he hit the on-ramp, and he slams his hand on the steering wheel one more time in frustration. Twenty minutes into his commute home should have already brought him into her neighbourhood, but he was still on the highway. It was a gamble to take the Gyeongbu Expressway, and he knew it, but he had hoped.
He anxiously checks the clock again, and it seems like time is speeding up just to mock him.
This whole time, he's been operating under the presumption that she will come home tonight (he can't bear to think of what it would mean if she doesn't), and he has never enjoyed making her wait. They've both spent too much time waiting—waiting for a sign that she might be interested in him the way he was getting interested in her, waiting for an apology he didn't know how to give, waiting for her sham of a relationship trial to end, waiting for this day to finally arrive.
He's so tired of waiting.
11:45pm
She scrambles out of the taxi cab tiredly and inelegantly, a far cry from her glamorous and refined entrance onto the red carpet five hours ago. At this point, the concrete path from the sidewalk to the front door is looking better than any red carpet.
She is home.
From the road, however, she could tell the house remains dark inside. Her heart sinks, but she resolves herself. Maybe he hasn't come back yet. She figured he'd make it back before her since Seorae Village is at least on the same side of the river, but traffic can be a real pain, especially if he chose the wrong expressway home.
She refuses to consider that he had no intention of returning tonight at all, but then she does, and she collapses onto her small lawn as a cold emptiness sprawls through her chest. It's not like she gave him a reason to come back; she herself didn't know she was ready to come home until the taxi pulled up in front of her.
She was barely home this past week, caught as she was between the demands of the show and her own avoidance of him. What if he packed a bag and moved out too? Oh god, what if it's permanent? They weren't supposed to break up over this; she just needed space—!
The sound of rubber squealing on asphalt aggressively jolts her out of her spiraling.
11:46pm
He had already been speeding, but when he turns the corner onto her street and sees her there just sitting on her lawn and looking at nothing, he gives up on all pretence of being a law-abiding citizen. His relief to see her home is completely overshadowed by his dread that something was terribly wrong.
He zoomed right up to her house and put the car in park, nevermind the fact that he is decidedly not parked. "Jiwan!" he calls out before he's fully exited from the car. "Are you alright?!"
There is no mistaking the tears in her eyes when she fully turns to face him, so he doesn't even bother shutting the car door in his haste to get to her. "Jiwan, what's the matter? Did something happen at the premiere? Did they not like it? Don't listen to them, they wouldn't know entertainment if it hit them in the face. I bet it's great. It should be online now, right? I'll go watch it right now, I promised you I would. I'll set it up on the tv and my phone and my laptop and my tablet—"
Her hug shuts him up. "John," she sniffles. "You're late."
His arms wrap around her in reflex. "I'm late?"
Between her already weak voice and the muffling from his chest, he has to strain to hear her. "You were supposed to be home by now."
God, he shouldn't have taken the Gyeongbu. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. I'm here now," he soothes with gentle tones and backrubs.
"I thought you were breaking up with me!" and then she's sobbing, heavily and loudly, into his chest.
John could honestly care less about anyone potentially finding them like this on an empty residential street at midnight, but he knows Jiwan will be embarrassed about it later, so he regretfully forces her away from him. "Come on, let's get in the car."
While she cries into her hands, he opens the door for her and buckles her in. He grabs a packet of tissues from the glove box and leaves it on the dashboard for her to use when she's ready. He gets into the car himself and has a split second panic as he tries to recall where he put the keys, but they're just waiting for him in the ignition. From there, it's an easy thing to start the car and park it properly.
The minutes it took to do that give Jiwan enough time for her wails to subside into sniffles, but he's still afraid she might not be able to hear him. "I have no intention of breaking up with you," he declares with a strong voice. "What made you think that?"
She takes a moment to blow her nose then confesses, "You weren't there when I got home, and I… I couldn't help but presume the worst."
God, he shouldn't have taken the Gyeongbu! "Jiwan-ssi. I had every intention to make it home on time, I swear it. I wanted to be here already for… well, for if you came back."
Her face crumbles like a paper with discarded ideas. "I'm sorry I made you think I wouldn't come back," she sobs into her hands.
Getting into the car was a mistake. John can't hug her properly like this. "No! No, I could have asked. I should have asked. I was afraid to, though. Not asking was easier than dealing with your reply. Please don't blame yourself, Jiwan-ssi."
"But this is all my fault! You knew from the beginning that we were just going to have to go to our own events separately, but I was being unfair. I called you selfish when I was the selfish one. I wanted more from you. I made you choose between me and your restaurant, and I got mad when you didn't choose me. What kind of girlfriend does that?"
So they're talking about this tonight. "I'm not gonna pretend that you didn't say things that hurt me. It was one of the worst things anyone has ever said to me, and I wondered a lot afterwards if anything I did was worth doing when it was just gonna hurt people I love and make them hurt me… but I got angry at you, too. I answered your challenge instead of trying to calm us down. If I could have just kept my frustration in check, maybe if I presented the option differently, I could have spared us from all this."
Jiwan resolutely shakes her head. "No, I know myself. I wouldn't have accepted it until today—tonight, rather. Not until it was all over. I couldn't feel relaxed until the taxi ride home," she confesses.
He watches her closely, splotchy face dappled by the light from a distant streetlamp. "And how do you feel now?"
"So very sorry," she answers immediately. "Also… relieved? You're not leaving me, my show is on the air and will be for the next two months, and my time on set will be measurable in hours and not days. I feel like everything is good again for the first time in a while."
Despite the solemnity of the conversation, John has to laugh. "I feel you. If I never have to look at the Ministry of Economy and Finance seal again, it would be too soon. All I want to do is cook good food and usurp Paik Jongwon, but I can't help but be involved at every stage. I do it to myself, really."
She grabs his hand, earnest as she always is. "Your reputation matters too, John, just as much as mine. I'm sorry that I implied otherwise."
He shifts their hands so he holds onto hers too. "I'm sorry, too. I could have stopped this cold war ages ago but I didn't. I told myself it was because I was giving you space, but really I think I just rely on you too much to make the first move." Saying it out loud makes him review all of their interactions since they first met on Kingdom, and he sees just how true that statement is. "I can be better."
Something about the way she smiles at him makes him think she doesn't believe him, and she laughs outright when he pouts. "Can we go inside? I ran out of tissues."
With a roll of his eyes, he lets it go. "You can take a shower first, if you want," he comments as he gets out of the car. "I have something to take care of."
Jiwan checks her phone as she follows him into the house. "It's half past midnight. What could you possibly need to do?"
"I wasn't kidding about watching I Loved That Jerk tonight." He beelines for the living room, knowing all his devices are there. "I want it trending on Naver by morning even if it kills me."
"That's big talk coming from someone who wouldn't even read it until this week," she teases.
"I wanted it to be fresh in my mind for when I watched!" John defends rotely. They've gone over this already.
To his surprise, she sits right next to him while he gets everything set up. "I'm watching it with you, obviously," she answers his unanswered question, and he just has to hug her. They both relish in the contact with no console nor conflict to separate them, and Jiwan pulls away first. "Hurry up! The episode is already an hour long, but with my commentary it'll end up being more like two hours," she warns in jest. "Every minute counts, you know!"
He's struck by the distinct memory of when she was too considerate, yet so brave, to ask him for even thirty minutes of his time. It would be false to say the woman she is now is a far cry from the woman she was then: she is still polite, she is still gutsy. It's just that now, she is all his, too.
"I know."
~~~
+1. distinction
Waiting in her bridal suite for the ceremony to start is a lot more difficult than Jiwan thought it would be. Her friends, punctual people that they are, have already bade her well-wishes and taken selfies; and no one else has come since.
Somewhere past the doors is her husband-to-be, entertaining guests as they arrive and helping them find their seats. She'd rather be out there where it's busy and exciting instead of in her quiet, posh, sequestered cage. Her family may be bigger, but his circle of friends is wider than hers. (Much of her family isn't invited anyway, for obvious reasons.)
Suffice it to say, she is kind of lonely and a lot of bored. Jiwan lets out a heavy breath.
"Is something the matter, ah-ee?"
She didn't have to, but Jiwan deeply appreciates that her mom is waiting with her. "I'm just ready to get to the good part, I guess."
Unfortunately, her mother misunderstands. "It's not all good, you know. I'm not even talking about the big arguments. Kids, religion, finances—those are easy. The worst are the small things: running late to date night, doing the laundry improperly. They don't bother you at first, but then they kind of do, and then they build up, and then one last small thing is what causes you to flip. It always looks like an overreaction to the most recent thing when it hardly ever is. Those arguments are almost impossible to handle rationally."
Jiwan is scandalised. Her parents seem so happy! "Where is all this coming from? Are you and Dad getting a divorce?"
"Omo, omo, omo. I was just warning you that these things happen!"
"Are you also going to warn me against getting married? It's a little too late for that."
Her mother narrows her eyes the way other people would roll them. "I'm warning you about the inevitability of polite miscommunication. It's only natural that you don't tell your partner every little thing they do that bothers you; your nerves would fray very quickly, I'm sure!"
"So what do you do?"
She hums. "You choose to understand each other, no matter what," her mother says at last. "You each express yourselves the best you can, and it's up to the other to pick it up from there. Minimising the space between what you say and what they hear is how a relationship gets stronger; and that holds true for friendships, too."
That's a good line. She's going to steal it. "Is that what you and Dad did?"
Sparing a glance to the bored photographer in the corner, her mother leans over conspiratorially. "Your father thinks worse than he listens; but after thirty years of marriage, I've learned to work around him as well as he's learned to work around me." She straightens, then looks Jiwan in the eyes. "I get the sense that you and John will be different, though. I hope you two can do something with the lessons I've learned."
Jiwan nods. She does think she and John are different. "Thank you, Mom."
Her mother smiles warmly at her, holding Jiwan's hands between her liver-spotted ones. "Our darling ah-ee. You don't have to thank me for being your mother."
The moment is broken by a frazzled John Jang. "There you two are! It's time!"
The photographer springs into alertness as he follows after the three hurrying guests of honour, switching to filming just in time to capture the conversation which will later get a hearty chuckle during the wedding highlights video.
("What do you mean 'there you two are'? We were in my bridal suite the whole time."
"Yes, I know, but I couldn't remember where. There are so many in that hallway; I surprised three other brides before I found you. And they put you in the farthest one!")
Her mom hands her off to her dad and joins John's mom in front of the closed doors to the wedding hall, as is customary. The event staff grandly open the door for their entrance as the emcee (Goo Yeoreum was happy to do it) introduces them.
John sends her a quick wink once it's his turn to enter, and he strides through the doors like the model he might have been if only food hadn't called to him first.
The doors close. She and her dad step forward, her dad squeezing her arm so hard it's like he's the one about to get married. Jiwan's dolor evanesces, and excitement lights her nerves on fire. She faintly hears Yeoreum introduce them, then the doors open before her.
The hall looks the same as when she saw it earlier this morning, but as she steps onto the stage and walks down the runway, it feels different. Magical. It's not just the filled-in seats and wearing the dress, but her whole outlook on the event is different. It feels like she has a plot bunny she just needs to write down before she forgets it.
This is real. She's getting married.
Right before her dad passes her off to him, Jiwan sends John a wide smile with all the happiness she has, and his face goes slack with helplessness. Her blood feels like champagne; she's so giddy. This man—who is helplessly in love with her, whose vanity is more than mirrors and compartments, who is so much like her darling protagonist that she initially worried she was projecting onto him, who would crumble if she ever told him that she found his one-sided rivalry with Paik Jongwon adorable, whom she loves just as recklessly—wants to marry her.
Yeoreum invites the guest singers to the stage, and Jiwan squeezes John's hand before turning her attention to the two men. As his wedding gift, Jaehoon got his friends who happen to be idols to perform at their wedding. She only met them once before, and they seemed rather kind, so she is looking forward to their performance…
… Which ends up being a questionable uptempo remix of the I Loved That Jerk OST.
She glances over at Yeoreum, who fortunately looks as perplexed as she feels. When Yeoreum notices her attention, she schools her face into something more professional and makes a complicated hand gesture that Jiwan chooses to interpret as 'Don't worry, I'll make sure Jaehoon gives you a real gift'. John, for his part, is less than impressed.
"Thank you so much for that unique performance," Yeoreum speaks into the microphone as soon as the music cuts out. "At this time, I'd like to invite the honoured couple to recite their vows."
An event staff hands John a microphone from off stage, and he takes it in one hand as the other reaches into his suit jacket to pull out his written vows. He spares the rest of the room a glance before turning his attention to Jiwan.
His eyes remind her of the night he confessed to her, intense and singularly focused on her.
"Jiwan-ah." He licks his lips, fiddles with the paper nervously. "I wanted my vows to be… better, but I don't have pretty words like you do. I even wrote them in a bulleted list, so I don't get aesthetic points either." He shows off the page as proof, earning distant chuckles for the action. "I'm sorry."
As if he had anything to apologise for. She shakes her head resolutely, pleading with her eyes for him to continue.
He nods, takes a deep breath, and begins. "To Park Jiwan: If you only have one fan left in the entire world, I promise that fan is me. If your pencil dulls, I promise to be your sharpener. If your dinner tastes bad, it means I didn't make it, so I promise to make you a new one."
"I promise to earn your trust. I promise to be brave enough to start hard conversations and patient enough to end them properly. I promise to support you, and I promise to compromise on what support looks like. I promise to love you in all the ways that make you feel loved and create new ways, too.
"And lastly, I promise that these are not just promises. They are privileges you are granting me by letting me be your husband, and I promise I will never forget that."
She has no clue how she's supposed to recite her own vows with sobs clogging her throat, but it's her turn.
The applause dies down, the event staff brings her the microphone along with the basket she prepared ahead of time, and John raises an interested eyebrow. "There's a legend that says if you fold a thousand paper cranes while having one wish in mind, the wish will come true," she explains. "I only have twenty here, but each crane has a vow written in it."
She gently unfolds one and encourages John to read it out loud. "I promise not to use my webcomic characters to vent my frustrations about you," he reads, the end of the sentence broken off by his own laughter and that of the audience. She can only nod. There are many like that, genuine promises over benign hazards of being bound to her for life.
"I could pull them out and read them all, but instead I'll simply say this: I am going to complete this project. I will think of 980 more vows I want to make to you; and with every fold and crease, I will think about the single wish I want for us, which is…"
Originally she was going to say "which is that we will always love each other," but she looks out to her side of the runway and meets the teary eyes of her mother. Neither of them thought she'd get to this stage.
She faces John again. "Which is that we will always choose together. No matter what happens to or around us, as long as we keep choosing each other, I know we'll be okay."
As soon as the event staff free her hands, John pulls her into a hug that she returns with all her might.
"Can I kiss her yet?" he demands.
From there, the exchange of rings and the officiant's pronouncement of marriage occur in short order. Korean weddings are notoriously quick affairs to begin with, but Jiwan is still shocked at how soon everyone sits to eat the celebratory meal John himself designed—complete with a side of potatoes au gratin, of course. The first guest bids them goodbye before the top of the next hour.
("The wedding industry is very efficient, isn't it?" John's mother, Sunok, says during her talking head interview for the wedding highlights video.
"We were getting ready for longer than the ceremony actually lasted," Syejin comments wryly during her own interview.)
Their pyebaek is scheduled for tomorrow, so the new family of five head their separate ways: Syejin and Youngwon to the restaurant, Sunok to her hotel, and Jiwan and John back home.
Is that it? Can such a life-defining occasion pass so quickly? Surely there must be more, something that will make her feel different, something like when she stepped through the open doors and the ceremony commenced.
"I know we were planning to go straight home," John broaches once his new car (a Kia sports sedan which he uses whenever he knows they would be meeting her dad "just in case he changes his mind about me") is on the road, "but would you mind if we drove around a little bit? I'm not ready for the day to be over, to be honest."
Jiwan looks over at John in open wonder. That's it.
She doesn't feel different because nothing changed. John is still the person that knows her best, and she is still the woman that loves him for that. The wedding passed so quickly because it was never meant to last. It was a formality, really for everyone else's benefit. She and John were already bonded in all the ways that mattered before today, made even more evident by how his one question was able to completely undo her slow spiral into dejection.
By the same token, marriage isn't an event. It's effort, it's trial and error, it's choices. It lasts as long as they want.
They were wedded this morning, and they are married now. If there were at all a difference to find, it is that.
"I don't mind," she says at last. John sends her a grateful grin and directs them towards the highway. "The place I wanna go to… It'll take us an hour to get there," he hedges.
It's just an hour.
"Can't wait."
That's nothing compared to a lifetime.
~~~
A/N (2.23.2023): Let’s play a game called ‘how many times did I write the word hour in this entire project’.
John’s restaurant names have no canon. I’m calling them “[location] Jjang” b.c jjan is the Korean onomatopoeia for ta-da, his family name is Jang, and I bet he felt very clever when he came up with this pun because I felt very detestable for having done so on his behalf. The two canon locations are Cheongdam and Hannam > these are wealthy neighbourhoods along the Han > I picked the third location to be Seorae Village, another wealthy neighbourhood along the Han > Seorae Village houses almost all of South Korea’s French expat population > French-Korean fusion.
I have actively refrained from wedding ceremonies in my years as both a fanfic consumer and creator and would have happily continued if not for the fact that Johnwan’s story did not feel complete without one. It was a good challenge for myself, but wow never again lol. (Interested in learning more about the modern Korean wedding? Check out this Soompi article… It’s a sad day when the most comprehensive resource I could find on a topic of Korean culture is Soompi, haha.)
#love is for suckers#love that will freeze to death#kdramas#kdrama fanfiction#park jiwan#john jang#jang joon#johnwan#jaso*
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
my battlestar galactica thoughts
putting this under a read more because of major spoilers for the entire show.
I don’t even know where to begin. I watched the last episode yesterday and I’ve still not recovered. The thing with binging the entirety of the show in less than a month is you get all of the story at once and not in increments as you would watching it when it aired. Which means, a lot of stuff is sorta blended together in my head and there’s a lot I have forgotten about, simply because the characters change so much during the seasons that looking back on moments in season 1 you can barely recognise these same characters and their motivations. This is a good thing though, character development (or regression) is a vital part of great storytelling. and boy, what a monumentous journey, both literally and figuratively. This story took me places I never expected to go, with mindblowing plottwist i never saw coming. Knowing absolutely nothing about this show and, somehow, having avoided all spoilers that mattered, I came into this fully expecting only two things:
1. There was going to be aliens.
2. The Starbuck and Lee romance. (My initial reason for starting the show. They’re both cute.)
I did not expect the aliens (or the Cylons) to be manmade AI creation gone rogue, but I loved it. I loved everything regarding the Cylons (except, perhaps, the human genocide. that wasn’t lit); How they came to be, the way they perceived themselves and the humans and the struggle of adhering to your programming or breaking out of it and becoming more than just a machine. It was utterly fascinating. Likewise to see the human aspect, which is of course the main point of focus throughtout the initial seasons. And I think this is what makes this show so good, because everybody, Cylon or not, are so very, very human and I could love a character utterly in one moment and in the next they could fill me with frustration or contempt even. (Tom Zarek i’m eyeing you hard)
I enjoyed the spirituality of the show as well. This was something I did not expect, at least not to this degree, and this made me grateful that I have waited until now with getting into the show. I don’t believe a younger me would have appreciated the message of the show as well as present me does. Honestly, it’s a bittersweet story but in itself also deeply moving and hopeful. I don’t think I’ve cried so much to a show before, but all the characters really had me going through it.
Especially Lee and Starbuck. The internet somehow had let me to the assumption that the were The Couple. They were Endgame. and I fully expected that, so I was fine with watching their dance around each other, the whole “will they, wont they?” scenario I’ve seen times before. But I enjoyed it, I always found their scenes together interesting and fun (and sometimes frustrating). I just felt really bad for Sam and Dee (best girl, love you), and I would just sit there like “please for the love of galactica, divorce your partners and get together already, why is this dragging out??” and then... they don’t even end up together??? because starbuck apparently DID die in season 3 and the kara we see is either her angelic form (beautiful) or an angelic being with the memories of kara thrace and not actually her (devastating) and she just disappears when they finally reach our earth and her job is done. The way Lee just stands there alone in the meadow just about broke my heart. Dee dead, Kara dead, Dad gone. Ah, so tragic. But mostly sad for me and my shipper heart I think. I really did love them and wanted them to be together.
And just as I was trying to recover from that they just timeskipped 150.000 years and essentially killed off everybody hahah. But I did enjoy the last 5 minutes in present time, and I honestly thought (hoped) they would tease us with showing some of the characters reincarnated, but alas no juice. Instead we do get to see the Gaius and Caprica Six “Angels” walk down the street of a present day metropolian city and I thought their short conversation tied up everything quite nicely. And it was all in all a cool bit of foreshadowing for what could truly be in store for the human race, if we are not careful. Very thoughtprovoking conclusion and all in all a stellar note to end the show on.
There’s so much i could talk about, this is merely the tip of the iceberg and I will probably make another post talking about all the main characters because they deserve to be talked about individually and i love them and i miss them and I am not crying again, nope.
Regardless, I really think this show sets a precedent for future shows to be inspired by. Though it is by no means without flaws, i still felt the quality of the show was top notch and I’m so grateful to the cast and crew for this considerable accomplishment. What a beast of a story, what amazing characters and attention to details. This show has earned a special place in my heart and I can’t wait to rewatch this show in 10 years time and probably cry just as much as the first time around.
So say we all.
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
New Catalog Pre-Order now available!
NEW CATALOG PRE-ORDER
Exciting news for all Stampin' Up! enthusiasts! Demonstrators are now getting an exclusive first look with the ability to pre-order from the fresh and fabulous 2024-25 Annual Stampin' Up! catalog. This sneak peek means you can get your hands on the latest products, including the eagerly anticipated new In Colors, before anyone else.
For customers eager to dive into these new offerings, mark your calendar for May 1st, when these products will be publicly available. However, if you can't wait, consider snagging them now by opting for the demo kit.
I've unveiled all these incredible new products and colors in my latest reveal video, so be sure to check it out for a closer look.
Details on how to secure a hard copy of the catalog are below. If you're part of my VIP club or have made a purchase from me this year, rest assured, a complimentary copy will be making its way to you automatically mid-April.
Here are the important dates and details you need to know about the catalog:
- Online Catalog is available now to demonstrators on the Demonstrator website
- March 18: Demonstrators complimentary hard copy was mailed from Stampin' Up!
- April 2: Demonstrators will be able to pre-order from the catalog
- April 2: Customers will be able to choose
- April 6: Sale begins on select items (if they are still available)
- April 30: Last day to purchase any Last Chance products
- May 1: New 2024-25 Catalog available to customers in my online store
Get ready to dive into creativity with us!
SNEAK PEEK VIDEO
https://www.youtube.com/live/SzhKMQ6NB58
DOWNLOAD LAST CHANCE LISTS
ANNUAL CATALOG LIST PDF
ANNUAL CATALOG LIST EXCEL FORMAT
MINI CATALOG LIST PDF
MINI CATALOG LIST EXCEL FORMAT
LEARN MORE ABOUT RETIRING IN COLORS
Join Linda and I in this must-watch video as we unveil crucial details about the Stampin’ Up 2022-2024 In Color Collection’s retirement. Say goodbye to the vibrant and beloved colors: Sweet Sorbet, Parakeet Party, Tahitian Tide, Starry Sky, and Orchid Oasis. It’s your last chance to complete your collection!
Orchid Oasis
Parakeet Party
Starry Sky
Sweet Sorbet
Tahitian Tide
🎨 What You’ll Learn:
- Overview of Retiring Colors: Dive deep into each retiring color—Sweet Sorbet, Parakeet Party, Tahitian Tide, Starry Sky, and Orchid Oasis. Discover what makes each one unique and how you can use them in your projects.
- Inspiration: We’ll be sharing inspiration and over 30 different ideas.
- Stocking Up: Essential tips on how to stock up on ink pads, refills, paper, and more before they sell out. Learn why it’s crucial to act fast.
VIDEO
JOIN MY VIP MEMBERS CLUB & FREE GIFT
Join my online VIP Member’s Club and collect your wish list in smaller increments while getting perks from the club. Free catalogs, stamps, exclusive online classes and more.
TAMI'S VIP MEMBERS CLUB
WHAT IS THE STAMPIN' SCOOP SHOW?
The Stampin' Scoop Show is a captivating and interactive livestream program hosted by Stampin' Up! Demonstrators Tami White and Linda Cullen. This live video broadcast invites viewers to become an integral part of the show, fostering a dynamic and engaging experience. Each episode is a delightful blend of the latest news, updates on upcoming and current Stampin' Up! products, and an array of inspiring projects that showcase the versatility and creativity of Stampin' Up! materials.
The hosts, Tami White and Linda Cullen, infuse the show with their infectious enthusiasm, creating an atmosphere of fun and laughter. Viewers not only gain valuable insights into the world of stamping and crafting but also become part of a vibrant community of like-minded individuals who share a passion for creativity.
One of the highlights of every episode is the exciting giveaway, adding an element of anticipation for the audience. Whether you're a seasoned crafter or a novice looking for inspiration, the Stampin' Scoop Show provides a delightful mix of information, entertainment, and the chance to win fabulous prizes. Join in for an entertaining blend of creativity, camaraderie, and the latest Stampin' Up! updates—all in a live, interactive format that makes crafting a shared and enjoyable experience.
FOLLOW TAMI ON YOUTUBE
SEE PAST EPISODES
Read the full article
0 notes
Text
DS9 4x06 Starship Down thoughts (I’m re-watching, so beware spoilers for future episodes!)
[29 June '23]
Dax and Kira both rolling their eyes at Worf's "this is unacceptable" grumbles - same, ladies
"I'm fasting." Oh, interesting! Love an unexpected tidbit of Bajoran culture
"It's the anniversary of the Emissary's arrival." Oh
"Benjamin's never been one for ceremonies..." you don't say XD
Dax and Kira working side by side so much :3
"I made the mistake of letting my brother Rom execute these contracts." Rom is always the scapegoat, oh Quark. At least you're consistent XD
OH, THIS IS THE ONE WHERE THEY HAVE TO DISPOSE A BOMB!
"You cheated me, Quark, and you haven't even have the courage to admit it." Nice, I like this guy
I remember very little of this, actually! It's always fun to come into an episode not remembering much
"How long?" "Twenty minutes." "You've got ten." O'Brien's sigh... he sure does Have A Job
Julian pushing doors open like he's strong or something :P
Ohhhh, Sisko will think Dax and Bashir are dead 💔
"She did it." Oh, Kira's complete strickenness is heartbreaking
Quark's still trying to scheme... Of course
I can never see Quark's pink blue and white suit as anything but his trans pride suit XD
The fact Kira's eyes are still wet and Sisko is still so quiet and cut off. My heart.
"Something tells me they may be closer than you think." Good instincts! Only a little too late!
"Save your breath. I don't think there's anybody left alive up there." Gosh, this episode is hitting everyone hard.
I keep remembering what happens incrementally - now Kira's gonna keep Sisko alive by talking, right?
"It's very important that you listen to me, because there's gonna be a test later." Oh dear, Kira, you're doing your best and I love that this is your best <3
"Remind me to hold my breath next time." XD
"Is there anything else I should know?" "We only have a few hours of breathable air." "Thanks, anyway." XD Oh dear
"A year ago if you'd have done something like this, I would've thought you were just trying to be a hero." "And now?" "Now that I know you better I realise it was just a really stupid thing to do." I love these two so muchhhh. Her joke and his chuckle <3 <3 <3
Is Quark actually going to convince this guy to be more ferengi-like?
"They are not laid out properly." WORFFFFFFF. This is an emergency, things don't have to be perfect, just functional!!
Miles' uneasy look of I hope he doesn't say anything too bad that completely pisses off and disrespects my engineers
"What am I doing?" Oh, Kira <3
"Nerys?" !! I haven't got this far in my spreadsheet-data, but this is possibly the first time Sisko calls her by name??
And she responds "Yes, sir?" Going more formal the more informal he is!
The Federation mindset had so rubbed off on Quark - "It's up to us." Of course this is partly distrust that anyone will come and save them - but I think he's been influenced by hero-mindedness too
"If you don't mind my saying, Julian, that's a very strange fantasy." XD
Jadzia Julian friendship is the world to me tbh
Okay, I wasn't expecting Worf to actually take Miles' advice on board. Good for him!
"This can't happen. You can't die!" Oh, Kira.
"I'm going to pray because I don't know what else to do." oh kira. Oh, Kira. This moment is so precious to me, I can't explain why.
Oh boy, how is there SO MUCH going on in this episode that I had completely forgotten the Quark disabling a torpedo thing??
"I thought you said you never sold substandard merchandise. THis was supposed to explode on impact, wasn't it?" "Maybe I should offer them a refund." XD XD incredible
Their hysterical laughter to avoid thinking about their fear
"You just have to reach in.... and pick one!" JEEEEEZ QUARK WOW I KNEW IT WANT GONNA BLOW BUT STILL THAT WAS TERRIFYING
"Come on, Hanok. What do you say? You want to keep playing?" That was so flirty of you, Quark
The engineer's startlement at the bomb XD
"Just because one loses a bet, doesn't mean one gives up the game." Again, this was kinda flirty, no?
Odos pleased hm at Quark losing XD
What is wrong with Julian? "It's been nice.. talking... to you." That was not a human way of speaking 😅
"Thank you for rescuing me." "Now we're even." The second he takes to process that and then his outraged face!
"Proceed at your discretion, Mr Stevens." Okay, this is nice :3 Worf gets character growth!
"Oh, you can do it in twelve." O'Brien dishing out the treatment he usually gets XD
SISKO'S GONNA ASK KIRA TO A BASEBALL GAME
AAAAH HIS HAPPY SMILE
HER HAPPY SMILE
THIS IS THE CUTEST
"NERYS" AGAIN!
I LOVE THAT HE JUST HAS SPARE HATS IN HIS OFFICE
FFFFFF SO CUTE SO CUTE I CANNOT
Okay, how on EARTH had I forgotten that episode so much??? It's incredible!!!!
1 note
·
View note
Text
*gibbers in writer* aaghruhnoerifnosihfvbguvyfutgybuhkn
Okay! I am making progress on The Disaster Job! I wrote a lovely scene which helps push the garbled mess at the end of the story smaller, and I closed the first gap semi-acceptably, and I have made the formerly second gap smaller, and I have developed new ideas for both the formerly third gap and the mess at the end!
I have to remind myself how much progress that is, because it’s hard for me to see anything but the places where I’m like “okay I have no idea what I’m doing” even though I actually do have some idea and experience tells me I will figure out the rest.
I just have so little feel for the push and pull of the con sequences! But I am making progress with that too. Yesterday I watched The First Contact Job with commentary, and so I got to contemplate the plot with the people who created it talking about the components of the con, and today I watched The Morning After Job, and chatted online with some people who are a lot more attuned to the strengths and weaknesses of the episode plots than I am. And it’s very helpful! I’m learning a lot.
However, I still find it all very intimidating. The way I interact with Leverage, and most stories, really, is that although I’m good at noticing some facts and retaining them and using them for plot purposes, there is some basic level on which I can only perceive the episode and the show as a whole as a mess of blurry glowy colors, and just go vaguely, “Oh, I love this! I love these characters! I love when these characters have emotions! Big emotions! And I love it when those emotions are about each other!”
I know the Leverage plot a lot better from late s4 through Redemption because those are the episodes where I took those glowy colors and made my own art with them and imprinted them onto my soul. And there are a lot of parts of the plot that the glowy colors don’t tend to touch as profoundly, and I often have trouble holding onto those. They aren’t the important parts of the story for me, long-term.
But at the same time I love the plots! I just forget them in between every time I watch the episode. So every time I am like “Oh I forgot how they did this! That’s so cool!” I love being surprised by the cons.
So the way I generally write a story is to just write the parts that the colors touch on, and then if there are some logistics needed, I set them up as minimally as possible, because I just don’t know how to do anything else.
I’m trying to learn! I’m trying really hard. But so far, the thing that has been working best to make progress on this story is to push the colors into more and more little twists of the story, which makes it a different kind of plot than an episode would be, I think.
I also keep thinking I’ve reached the end of how much of the story I can push the colors into, and I will have to do the rest as a purely logistical exercise. But I hate writing more than a sentence or two at once as a purely logistical exercise, so I keep pushing, and keep seeing that there’s more glowy bits to write.
I figure if I keep pushing, I will either break the con down into two-sentence increments, or I will figure out how to make it glow!
#writing#fic writing#the disaster job#hnjiaspqvohbugy9vf8c6rt7vikuybhigyo8uih iuvhjdsfrvesarfsrfvgrvfve
0 notes
Text
30-sai made Dotei Da to Mahotsukai ni Nareru rashii (2020)
AKAs: Cherry Magic! Thirty Years of Virginity Can Make You a Wizard?!, It Seems That You Can Be a Witch if You Are a Virgin Until 30 Years Old , Cheri Maho, Cherry Maho, Cherry Magic!: Thirty Years of Virginity Can Make You a Wizard?! , The Magic of Thirty-Year-Old Virgin
Country: Japan
Main cast: Akaso Eiji, Machida Keita
Episodes/length: 12 episodes, 24 minutes each
Genre: BL, modern, magic, office romance
Novel, if applicable: Cherry Magic! Thirty Years of Virginity Can Make You a Wizard?!, manga by Yuu Toyota
Sexual content: tiniest bit of kissing
TWs, CWs, and relevant tags: none really; sweet and slow
Notes:
Synopsis:
While still a virgin at 30, Adachi Kiyoshi (Akaso Eiji) gains a magical power – the ability to read other people's minds by touching them. At first, he’s overwhelmed by his new ability, and it’s not proving to be helpful to him. But that all changes when he accidentally touches his popular coworker Kurosawa Yuichi (Machida Keita), whom he learns has romantic feelings for him.
Where to watch: Irozuku fansub, Crunchyroll, dailymotion, dramacool
More links: Wikipedia, Mydramalist
Who has watched/reviews:
@avawatson: okay, so upon first watch, I absolutely loved the main character/actor but didn’t love the second male lead, Kurosawa, and wasn't sure if it was a chemistry thing or the actor’s just not my type. But I’d definitely say watch it for very rich fic fodder, and prepare for it being a bit slow; imagine Adachi as ace and the story makes more sense and feels more fulfilling imo. And on second watch, I liked Kurosawa sooo much more, thankfully! And it was so fun to watch with others. Very sweet and slow; consent and intimacy is incremental and back and forth, which feels really common in Japanese media but might be a new experience for some.
E: it was okay! Pretty slow and tame, disappointingly G rated
T: loved this, I didn’t have a problem with seeing chemistry. The G rating is a little disappointing but I found the story charming and delightfully angst-free, which is a refreshing change.
Becca: This is my favorite Japanese BL series! It’s fanciful, low-conflict, full of likeable characters. The characters are kind to each other, improve their communication, and grow as people. For a show that is literally about having--or NOT having sex-- there is only the tenderest of handholding and a tantalizing glimpse of a chaste kiss. Somehow, that makes it all the sweeter. In contrast to many other Japanese BL shows, there’s no weird power dynamic or troubling non-con.
TD: very cute. I could have done without the entire b-side relationship about the one guy's best friend and the delivery boy, but those scenes are easily skipped. The main couple is absolutely wonderful. I really liked Kurosawa, personally. Lots of fun moments-- I decided to watch the show after seeing a gif of Adachi getting hit by an elevator door lol. I wasn't expecting much in terms of kissing going in, so I didn't mind the G rating. It was just really refreshing to see two adults being respectful and caring and willing to take things as slow as needed, which seems like a low bar but that's the BL genre in general. I liked that Adachi tried not to invade privacy as much as possible with his power. And happy ending, yay!
Tricky: I found it cute! I enjoyed it but I didn't need it to be any longer than it was. It felt very cartoony at times, like they translated the manga directly to the live action. I would recommend watching it just for the pure soul-nourishing medicine of Kurosawa's domestic fantasies. And for Kurosawa in shirtsleeves and a vest, can't complain about that! Also the concept is just so good for AUs for any other fandom/pairing you will ever encounter, so it's good to have it under your belt. :-)
@porcupine-girl This was almost painfully cute! I had to stop now and then because it was just overwhelming how adorable they are. I agree with TDKeh that I don't love the side pairing, but Adachi and Kurosawa 😍 And I love how it skirts close to some tiresome tropes but then sidesteps them entirely, like it's saying out loud "nope, don't need to go there, thanks." A quick watch, too. I hope the movie is available internationally soon.
tags: bl, year: 2020, country: japan, cast: akaso eiji, cast: machida keita, genre: romance, genre: comedy, setting: modern
0 notes
Last Seen Blogs
