Leander: My goal isn't heaven. It's rock hard abs! Kuras: I have seen your life, Leander. Believe me. I know your goal is not heaven. Leander: ... *pulls down shirt*

Robot Jon! ☺️

(ok, I've been off tumblr for a few days, but I went on early this morning and had an ask with a bunch of prompts because I said I'd be taking a break from my Bachelor fic - which is true, if not for another 3 chapters yet. I haven't answered that ask because I'll lose it and therefore the prompts, but it reminded me that I still had two prompts left from when I asked for them back in... December? I'm the worst. Anyway, I re-looked at those prompts, saw this one, and then couldn't stop thinking about it. So I'm coming out of my vague tumblr hiatus to write this.)

Thank you, as always, for the prompt!

.

Sansa has never liked amusement parks.

The sun that always burned her, no matter how diligent mom was about reapplying sunscreen; the fried food that always made her sick; the crowds and the noise and having to walk everywhere. But the worst part was the rides – oh, she didn't mind some of them, like the Ferris wheel or the teacups; she could even handle the swing ride. The problem was that the rest of her family wanted to go on the horrible rides – roller coasters, haunted houses, swinging ships; the ones that go fast and drop you from a million feet in the air. And since it was hard enough wrangling the amount of children in their group to begin with, it was impossiblefor one adult to split off with Sansa, who alone wanted to ride the gentler ones.

And so, it's sort of ironic that she works at an amusement park now.

She may not have a taste for most of the rides in the park, but she is good at designing them – not the actual rides, but the aesthetics of them. It's her (and her team's) job to come in after the engineers and the builders and take a bare-bones ride and turn it into an experience. She loves her job – she loves watching children exit one of her rides with glowing faces and excitement in their eyes.

Today, she also gets to do one of her favorite aspects of the job, which is costume design. The animatronic models have already been installed, and when she enters the new Dance of Dragons ride, she can already see the scene taking shape in her mind. The concept art has already been drawn up, it's already being advertised – a medieval world that everyone knows is meant to capitalize on the stunning success of the Aemon the Dragonknight series (which her employer does not own the rights to, much to their dismay). But concept art is one thing – reality is another, and it's not until the ride is complete that she can start to truly see it come together in her mind.

“Oh good, you're here,” Margaery Tyrell sighs dramatically as she comes to meet Sansa's team. Margaery is in charge of Marketing and PR for this ride and Sansa knows it's a big responsibility, so she's been even more high maintenance than usual. Margaery walks her through the ride that Sansa has seen so many times in drawings.

“This is our Aemon,” Margaery slaps a hand against the shoulder of one of the animatronic models. “Although we can't call him Aemon. Copyright and all that.”

Sansa looks at the robot and she's struck for a moment how lifelike he is. A lot of the animatronics aren't this detailed, though she guesses this one is because of how close to the ride it is.

“He's handsome, right?” Margaery flashes her a grin and there's something in her eyes that Sansa can't quite place. (Well, she can, it's mischief, Sansa just can't tell why it's there.)

“I guess, in the way that cartoons can be handsome,” Sansa laughs and takes another look at the model – the somber grey eyes, dark curly hair, and an equally dark beard. “You even gave him abs,” she points down at the robot's chest which does, indeed, have a very detailed set of abs. “Am I supposed to leave him shirtless?”

“Oh, no, obviously we want realism, like we talked about,” Margaery waves her hand dismissively. “We just couldn't help ourselves when we put in the order.” Sansa shoots her a confused look, which only gets a delighted laugh out of Margaery. “I'm guessing you don't recognize him?”

“Recognize who?”

Margaery gestures at the animatronic. “Jon!” At Sansa's blank stare, Margaery rolls her eyes. “Jon Snow?”

The name sounds familiar and it takes her a second to place it. “The engineer?”

“Duh! Seven hells, don't tell me you've never actually seen him?”

Sansa shakes her head – she usually comes in well after the engineers have done their part.

“Mormont let him take the lead on this project and he's so... ugh,” Margaery makes a noise that's half frustration, half delight. “So serious all the time. But somehow likable? It's infuriating, really. And no one should be that attractive for a nerd.”

“So... does he know you made him into a robot?”

“He does not,” Margaery grins. “We're all just dying for him to come in for an inspection and see it. In fact,” she pulls out her phone and checks the time, “if you wait around for a bit, you'll get to see it happen.”

Sansa shakes her head and they continue on through the set, Sansa writing down notes in her trusty notebook that she always carries with her. Lists of costumes, set pieces. She'll need to bring in Asha later to discuss the lighting options (right now the dark ride is lit with spotlights, giving the whole place a surreal atmosphere).

Margaery eventually leaves her to it and Sansa loses herself in going over the set inch by inch with Gilly and Mya following along with her. She's so lost in thought that Mya has to shake her arm to bring her back to reality, and they turn to see a group of what has to be engineers standing in the main Great Hall set.

“Oh come on, Jon,” Margaery is giggling as a man who must be Jon stands, staring at the animatronic. He's scowling at it, hands tight around the pile of binders in his arms that are... well, ok, Sansa can understand now why Margaery made the robot so well muscled.

Sansa edges closer to the scene, and she can see that his fellow engineers are laughing – one of them is red-faced from trying to hold it in while another is actively wiping tears from his eyes.

“It's already made,” Margaery says in response to whatever Jon had grumbled to her. “Replacing it would be an irresponsible waste of funds. Oh! And here's the team that will be styling you... I mean, styling not-Aemon because that's copyright infringement.”

Jon looks up and the scowl drops from his face.

“This is Sansa, Mya and Gilly are over there.”

“Hi,” Sansa greets and Jon shifts his binders into one arm and then holds out his hand for her to shake (she can feel her face heating up and she hopes the dark hides it). “I promise to try and do you justice.” She regrets her words immediately, especially when she sees a slow grin spread over Margaery's face. “Though it doesn't totally look like you,” she continues on to try and backtrack. “It... doesn't have glasses?”

She wants to sink into the floor in embarrassment, but the gods are not that kind. At least she doesn't spout out how much she likes his glasses. Maybe Margaery is right – no one who clearly cares so little about their appearance should be this attractive. His beard needs a trim, his outfit is painfully unstylish, his hair is pulled back into a bun. All of it should add up to something she hates, but she just... doesn't.

(And honestly, Margaery's description of nerd isn't so far off the mark, but Sansa finds this isn't a detriment – in fact, she might be more attracted to him because of the glasses and the multitude of thick binders organized with labels and tabs that he's got tucked under his arm.)

“I'd also hope real Jon isn't built like a Ken doll,” one of the other engineers barks out a laugh and points at the animatronic, which, yes, does not have any reproductive anatomy.

“Gods,” she hears Jon whisper, and the hand that he had used to shake hers comes up and covers his eyes. “This is a nightmare.”

“Stop being so dramatic,” Margaery sighs and pats him on the shoulder. “Now, why don't you take Sansa around and make sure she's really taken care of, hmm?” At the words, Sansa feels her face heat even further and Jon drops his hand from his eyes and glares at Margaery. “I just mean,” Margaery grins, not even trying to pretend the innuendo wasn't on purpose, “it might help the design if she has a good understanding of the mechanics. I know there's some new things on this ride we haven't had before, you could show her.”

Jon opens his mouth, but doesn't get a chance to speak, because Margaery barrels on. “Sam, Grenn, you can chat with Gilly and Mya while that's happening. And I... well, I'll just be over here, minding my own business.”

With that, Margaery walks away and the other two engineers – Sam and Grenn, she guesses – head over to where the rest of her team stands, watching from afar.

“You don't have to,” Sansa starts, but Jon quickly turns from glaring at Margaery's back to her and his face settles into something less... scowly.

“I don't mind,” he says quickly and maybe it's the low lighting in here, but she thinks the tips of his ears are red.

“Perfect,” she gives him her best smile, which seems to throw him even more off balance and... and she thinks she could get used to throwing Jon Snow off balance.

Fic: A Terrible Idea [7/?]

Fandom: Attack on Titan Title: A Terrible Idea Author: Immi Rating: PG-13 Summary: Ymir’s pursuit of the hot cheerleader was meant to stay strictly lustful. But it’s a high school AU with a ship tag, so you know, fuck that. Notes: Hey, so if you’re just seeing evidence of this fic now thanks to the Galliard ship tags, this is a yumikuri fic, but this chapter is in Galliard’s pov, and so his romantic woes are unavoidable and awkward. And hopefully entertaining. Obviously it’s not meant as a standalone, but it probably can be read as one for the sake of ship feels.

Segment summary: Porco is a bi disaster.

I II III IV V  VI

This wasn’t happening.

Mr. Smith had a standing policy. Help out cleaning his classroom at the end of the week, get extra credit as judged by the custodian. Porco did not need the extra credit, Ymir could fuck right off with that, but he wasn’t going to turn it down. Kenny’d had them fighting for Levi’s approval through chores since second grade. He knew how to clean a room.

For anyone who cared to know, that meant he was easy to find on Friday afternoons, scraping gum off desks with Connie and Sasha (who did need the extra credit).

Reiner Braun was not supposed to care.

He wasn’t supposed to be sitting on a desk Porco had just cleaned, pretending to be cool, while people who did care were prepping for practice like the coaching staff told them to. Good to know this was the work ethic that kept him off the team.

“Hi,” he’d said, smiling that toothpaste commercial grin Porco’s way, stepping into the history room like he belonged there.

He didn’t. He had history with Mr. Dok. Reiner had no reason at all to be sitting on a desk in Mr. Smith’s classroom, shooting finger guns at Connie and breathing so deeply that the buttons on his polo shirt were straining to keep his oversized muscles from bursting free.

That wasn’t some kind of accident.

Marcel joked that Reiner was too swol for things like clothes. Marcel, being a normal person, didn’t get it. Porco had survived a year of PE with Reiner before. Mr. Quarterback Superstar had a thing for flexing in front of mirrors. He would come to school shirtless every day if he could. Wearing clothes that barely fit, showing off the body that everyone fell over themselves to praise every time his team scored him a touchdown, was as close as he could get.

Ymir said he was too much of a square to use steroids. He was, but there was no natural reason for someone’s arms to be that big. Marcel was ten times the athlete Reiner was, and he still looked like a person, not a teenage bodybuilder.

“I was looking to hit you up, and Marcel said you’d be here,” Reiner had said, propping his sculpted ass on top of Porco’s hard work. Yeah sure, Levi wouldn’t notice that at all.

Now Reiner was looking at him like Porco had anything to do with this conversation. It wasn’t even a conversation. Reiner just decided to walk in and ruin his day, and since that couldn’t be enough, he was trying to turn it into a group project.

Did he somehow not remember what those went like? Those five weeks of third grade where they were paired in art were the longest of their short lives, Kenny getting called in three separate times—culminating in him being permanently barred from PTA thanks to Reiner’s mother (what was her problem)—and last Porco had stepped in that room, the air conditioning vent was still clogged with papier-mâché.

Not to mention last year’s English mess. It was like he lived to tear down Porco’s grade point average.

Cluing in a little in the stony silence, Reiner got to the point.

“Your sister’s friends with Historia Reiss, right?”

The point was that this was actually fucking happening.

“She is not my sister,” Porco said, sourly.

Reiner barely had eyebrows, but what was there knit together. “Ymir?” he said, like Porco couldn’t figure out who they were talking about on his own. “Marcel said you guys were family.”

There was something sick about Reiner using Marcel’s good nature as a weapon. Porco glowered at the concerned pouting thing his lips were doing. He hoped Reiner knew it made him look stupid.

Porco cleared his throat. The words weren’t showing up the first try. “She’s Ymir. What do you care?”

Reiner perked up. Like, his whole body bounced like a spring. “You know how homecoming’s next week?”

No, really? That thing the student council had thrown away their budget for to get banners covering every other hallway? That was happening? Who could have guessed.

Porco nodded obediently, jaw clenched. Ymir had dragged him into enough school plays for him to know when he was supposed to be following a script. Not that Reiner would care. He had his pep talk face on. Sunshine confidence was leaking out of his pores. He was impossible to talk to when he got like this. He was impossible most of the time anyway, but it was somehow worse when he had that sparkle in his eyes to go with his teeth.

“I,” Reiner announced, “want to ask Historia to the dance.”

Porco’s concept of a just and fair world crumbled.

“What.”

“Yeah,” Reiner said, somehow not hearing the blood-curdling scream resounding in Porco’s chest. “It seems like the thing to do, you know? Every school has a power couple. Doesn’t hurt that she’s some kind of saint. She raised more money for the cheerleaders’ fundraiser than they’ve had in years, and—”

And what, he didn’t get enough pretty blond when he looked in the mirror? Blood pumped loudly in Porco’s ears. Reiner’s visage blurred.

Perfect logic. No, let’s not date someone we know, and maybe like for reasons that aren’t total crap, let’s go with the person who matches some absurd popularity scale that neither one of us really deserves. Such sense. Much thought. Wow.

Where did he get off, anyway, thinking about asking someone out on such short notice? Asking someone out he clearly didn’t know anything about, and dragging Porco into it because he wouldn’t know tact if it bit him on his perfect ass, and holy fuck, Historia Reiss?

Really?

Connie and Sasha were scrubbing windows. The squeaking matched his grinding teeth.

Was taste just not a thing? Did he miss something? Was walking around like an alien abductee in now?

Reiner had never even talked to her, if he had he wouldn’t need a damn proxy to hold his behemoth hand.

He was talking to Porco just fine—he was still fucking talking, so clearly conversational skills gave him some kind of buzz—but sure, no, go for the opposite of that. Treating each other like equal human beings who didn’t need stilts to be at eye level was way too conventional and un-creepy for the undisputed lord of the school.

“—pretty, too—”

Porco saw red.

“Fuck off, she’s already dating my sister!”

…

…

The windows stopped squeaking.

Reiner’s mouth stayed open, without sound, and that was so damn preferable Porco was going to kill something, hopefully him. The pressure in his head let off, and a crisp twinge of satisfaction took its place.

For the five seconds of peace he had before his brain caught up.

“Oh,” Reiner said.

Connie and Sasha were both staring, looking like summer break had come back early.

Oh, Porco thought.

Oh no.

“I guess that doesn’t work, then.”

Reiner lifted himself off the desk, arms flexing for pure show. The creases in his ill-fitting shirt said his abs were doing all the work, and Porco didn’t know why that mattered, but he was in hell now, and some of that meant watching Reiner-the-human-specimen getting to his feet in slow motion while flames crept up Porco’s face.

This was not happening.

“They aren’t public about it,” Porco blurted. Dawning horror made his voice come out echoey. He made as much eye contact with Reiner as he could stand. “Don’t go—they aren’t… Don’t spread it around.”

Reiner’s face melted into compassionate understanding. Awful look for him. “No problem. I wouldn’t—hey,” his hand was on Porco’s shoulder and he wanted to bite it off, “I know how it can be.” What did that mean. “Don’t worry about a thing, man. I’ve got your back. And theirs.”

He was smiling. Why was he smiling. Porco needed him to stop.

“You should let Ymir know they’re a really cute couple.”

They weren’t, and there was no way Reiner had ever had that thought until five seconds ago.

He gave Porco’s shoulder an extra pat. “I’ll catch you at practice.”

The silence left in Reiner’s wake when he exited the classroom was how most horror movies started.

Porco looked at Connie.

Connie looked at Sasha.

Sasha looked delighted.

“Ymir finally has a girlfriend?”

Hell.

----

Staying in Mr. Smith’s room until every other human being in the school was gone was not going to work out. Ymir would find him and laugh at him. Then maybe never speak to him again. Marcel would find him and want to know what was wrong. Levi would find him, ignore him, and tell Kenny something was wrong.

Pieck would find him, and be so wonderful he’d want to tell her what was wrong.

Pieck did find him.

She stood in the doorway, leaning too heavily against it. Her arms hated going a full week with crutches. Ymir usually made good on playing pack mule for her backpack, but there was a limit to how much they could help. It sucked.

Pieck smiled through the shadows under her eyes. “It’s not like you to take so long with the cleaning, Pock.”

There were days when that smile was all Porco needed to love life. Today was one of them before Reiner showed up and got him to ruin everything. Porco stopped viciously scrubbing his desk with a paper towel. “Pieck,” he said, “have you ever done something really stupid.”

“No, never,” was the real answer to that. Pieck was the only person he had ever met who was immune to bad decisions. He’d known her since they were five. She was just gifted like that. Even Marcel had his screw-ups. Like being friends with quarterbacks.

Pieck rested her chin on top of her crutch. “Oh dear, what have you done?”

He frowned at his abused paper towel. Cleanser and force had torn a hole in it.

“Reiner wanted to ask Historia out to the homecoming dance.” And that was still the most fucking irritating thing to think, forget saying it out loud. If these people wanted a blonde, short, emotionless girl to rip their hearts out of their chests, they should hit up Annie. All the same stupid kinks, none of the delusion that there was something real there.

He’d told Ymir that and she told him to shut his whore mouth.

Pieck cocked her head. “He hasn’t heard? She’s not going.”

…

Well fuck that, too. Historia Reiss was some kind of cursed object designed to fuck with his life. Days after talking to Reiner weren’t supposed to get worse. Before Ymir and her stupid crush that he wasn’t allowed to call a crush without her whining, him alone in a room with Reiner was peak misery.

He sucked the injustice up and glowered at his desk. His stomach wouldn’t stop squirming. “I told Reiner Ymir’s dating Historia,” he said.

He could hear Pieck’s brain humming in the empty space of a thousand missing comments about how tactless and idiotic that combination of words was. And he’d said it in front of Connie. Sasha could remember when not to gossip. Her best friend knowing the gossip and giggling with her in study hall helped with that. Connie could not keep his mouth shut. That was how he kept losing the stashes of weed he tried to hide around school. He told people about them. Regularly.

Porco’s fingers flexed.

Ymir was never going to forgive him.

It was over her sex life—which she didn’t even have, it didn’t matter how many times she called it that—so what’d he care, but.

“Less accurate things have been said,” Pieck said. Her crutches thumped across Mr. Smith’s floor.

Porco moodily ripped his paper towel into smaller pieces. “Yeah, dating isn’t really what she’s after.”

“Isn’t it?”

Porco gave Pieck a look. It melted in the face of her smile. It was a lot closer than the doorway now, and proximity upped its powers to reincarnation levels of healing. He probably didn’t deserve that right now. Fucking Reiner. He murdered the butterflies and focused on the much easier target of Ymir being a horrible person. “You’ve had to listen to her just as much as I have. I don’t think she knows what romance is.”

And if she did, she definitely didn’t care about it. He knew enough about Historia now to feel like a pervert by association.

Pieck sat down on the desk next to his. She twirled one of her crutches. “And we all know that people never evade their feelings by telling themselves it’s something else.”

Porco snorted. “Are you kidding me? No one really does that.”

Especially not Ymir. He could almost say he liked that about her, when she wasn’t making her main mission in life having sex with a girl she barely knew. If Historia turned out to be a serial killer, she had the money and family lawyers to get away with it. They’d already sprung one family member out of jail. It wasn’t like he and Marcel and Kenny could back up the legal fees to bring someone like that to justice. He wouldn’t even get a chance to say I told you so.

“Well,” Pieck said, after a delayed pause, “you would know your sister best.”

“Not my sister.” His mouth got tired of saying that over and over again, and it was doubly annoying with people who knew what was up, but Pieck just smiled at him, sending rainbow cotton candy fluff to fuzz up his brain.

“She won’t hate you, Pock.”

Porco rolled his eyes. Mr. Smith needed to do something about his air conditioning. He was overheating.

“She won’t,” Pieck repeated. Her calloused hand stroked the back of his before cupping it warmly. “She knows how important Reiner is to you—”

“Pieck.”

She squeezed his hand. “And even if she didn’t,” Pieck continued, like she wasn’t leaving him scarred for life by making his heart swoop through the air and crash into a brick wall at the same time, “she will be delighted to have something to hold over your head. You are now the horrible person who started the rumor that she’s interested in feelings. You’re going to be doing her chores for weeks.”

Hurrah. He could hear all about how badly he was folding the sheets she planned to defile her not-girlfriend on. “Are you trying to make me feel worse?”

Pieck patted him compassionately on the head. “Never.”

Porco scoffed and looked out the window.

Stupid air conditioning.

Fucking Ymir.

Next

Hey - Pat from StarterStory.com here with another interview.Today's interview is with Maury McCoy of Penny Portrait, a brand that sells portrait from pennies.Some stats:Product: Portrait from pennies.Revenue/mo: $1,250Started: March 2008Location: AustinFounders: 1Employees: 1Hello! Who are you and what business did you start?My name is Maury McCoy, I’m the creator of the Penny Portrait Kit. This kit allows anyone to create a crazy cool portrait of Abe Lincoln out of pennies. It’s a fun experience and the final work of art is stunning conversation starter you can hang on your wall. You can be guaranteed it will be worth at least $8.46. (It takes 846 pennies...)So far we’ve sold over 6,800 kits and have them on display at the U.S. Mint, Lincoln’s Presidential Library, the Money Museum, etc. It’s more than just an 18 x 24 poster, it’s also a fun learning experience.We include a booklet with info about coin collecting, Lincoln history, chemistry experiments you can do with pennies and even include a collectible 1943 steel penny with each kit.What's your backstory and how did you come up with the idea?I was surfing the internet and was inspired by a story about a father and son who created a giant portrait of Abraham Lincoln out of $25 worth of dark/light pennies. I thought it was a fantastic concept and thought maybe other people would like to do the same thing. The idea of making Lincoln out of little Lincoln’s thoroughly amused me.I have a background as a graphic designer/animator so I was able to create a proof of concept in Photoshop rather quickly. I added a few additional shades (4 total) which provided detail to the image while also allowing me to shrink it to a more manageable size without losing the illusion. After several iterations, (actually, many, many iterations...) I came up with a version that I was happy with but only used 846 cents.I found a local printer to create a prototype as a template. I glued some pennies on and was really impressed by how well it turned out! A photo doesn’t do it justice as actual pennies are not just light and dark, but reflective and dull. It looks amazing in person. After seeing the expression of the few folks I showed it to, I knew I was onto something.I’ve always been curious about how e-commerce works as my previous jobs have been in the service industry. I’ve worked as an artist, video game producer and in investment marketing. This was my first foray into an actual physical product with inventory, shipping, payment processing, etc. so there was a lot to learn! I own another business in which I help investment managers raise money for their investment strategies, so would primarily dabble with this project in the evenings and on weekends. I didn’t have high expectations and primarily saw this as a learning experience that “might” work out. My initial, very modest, goal was to sell enough to recover my initial investment. That actually happened pretty quickly and 10 years later we’ve now sold over 6,000 of them.Take us through the process of designing, prototyping, and manufacturing your first product.Creating the original prototype was a lot of fun. I toyed with placing pennies in a grid pattern vs. a honeycomb pattern, tried 3 vs. 4 shades of pennies and also tried different poster dimensions. A local printer was able to print a sample one for me that cost ~ $30.Once I nailed down the design, I filed for a copyright which costs only $35 for a single work of art. The toughest decision I then had was how many posters to purchase initially.I wanted a high-quality product, so didn’t want to skimp on printing or materials, but printing can be quite expensive. There are online places which will print posters for you at great prices, but the paper quality is lower and when you include shipping, the savings disappear.I ended up going with a respected local printer to avoid shipping costs and to oversee the quality of the product. The trick with printing a poster this size is the initial setup fee is about $1,000 whether you print one poster or one thousand. My fun little “learn about e-commerce” project suddenly got expensive! Of course, the more you order, the cheaper it is, but it was nearly impossible to guess what the demand for a product like this would be. (This was before Kickstarter came about, which would have been ideal for something like this.) I decided to start with 1,000 posters and see how it went.Another tough decision involved packaging. I really liked the way my product looked in a clear tube, but the cheapest supplier of clear tubes charged $1.40 per tube and had a minimum order of 500 units. Cardboard tubes cost about half that, and I could order just a few at a time.I ended up ordering 500 clear tubes, but used those strictly for orders that would end up on retail shelves. For online orders, I ship in the more durable white cardboard tubes. It was a tough decision at the time because $700 is a pretty big upfront expense for shipping tubes! (Not to mention I had a garage full of them.)This is one situation where my design sense vetoed my business sense. The final packaging actually cost more than the product inside of it which was something I wasn’t expecting.Describe the process of launching the business.Penny Portrait is a sole proprietorship. I filed a simple DBA form (Doing Business As) with the state for ~$25 and I was off and running.I could then open up a bank account which I used to keep all the business expenses separate. I fortunately had savings from the “real” job which I used to pay the upfront expenses of getting the business rolling. All told, it probably cost me about $2,000 to get things off the ground, most of which was spent on inventory.Kickstarter would have been perfect to gauge interest, but didn’t exist at the time. I did however feel it would be a great way to get exposure, so I launched a Kickstarter campaign when it came time to fund my second print run. (Including an obligatory goofy Kickstarter video.) I pre-sold enough units to cover a print run of 2000 posters and got a lot of free publicity in the process.I have a bit of experience as a graphic designer so was able to create a rudimentary website. Figuring out payment processors, taxes and shipping was a bit trickier. At the time I started this biz in 2008, a lot of the tools for these things were pretty rough. Shopify didn’t exist at that time and WordPress was very clunky. I hand coded all the HTML and added a big “Buy Now” button from PayPal and voila, I had an online business!Since that time, I upgraded my website to WordPress in order to create a site that was mobile friendly. I’ve had to deal with a number of technical issues like hosting and SSL certificates that folks using a site like Shopify just don’t need to deal with. That said, I also don’t get stuck with the recurring fees a service like Shopify entails either.Since launch, what has worked to attract and retain customers?I’ve worked to get exposure on various blogs and by posting on coin collecting forums, homeschooling groups, art sites, etc. A popular financial blog called My Money Blog really got me a lot of exposure initially by spotlighting my startup.I’ve tried running ads via Google, Facebook, Amazon, Reddit, Pinterest, print ads, you name it. The problem with spending money on advertising is the lifetime value of a customer for me is about $20. Once they’ve made a Penny Portrait for their wall, there really isn’t a reason to buy another unless it’s a gift.In the early years, my success was very closely tied to how much time I put in marketing online. If I put the effort in and was active on online message boards and forums, I’d make more sales. It almost felt like being a door-to-door salesperson! I had a few big wins early on such as when my wife helped get us into a number of historical museum gift shops, but early on my packaging wasn’t quite as compelling as it is now and it wasn’t really obvious just what exactly a Penny Portrait was. They sold okay, but not at the level they probably should have.There was one year where the “real job” got busy and I didn’t put much time into promoting my product and sales were down significantly. It was a bit of a make or break moment as I felt there was a lot of potential for this product but wasn’t sure how to unlock it.Getting into catalogsI had a friend who had created a cool board game called Spontuneous and he invited me to join him at an event called Toy Fair in NYC. I tagged along and used the opportunity to make a lot of industry connections and get a feel for how to better distribute my product.At this event, I was able to reach out and be included in a number of print/online gift catalogs, including Uncommon Goods, The What on Earth Catalog, Things You Never Knew Existed, etc. These really did wonders for my exposure, but as is the nature of these catalogs, they typically only showcase a product for a year or two as they are always trying to present new and unique gifts. That said, I really feel these catalogs helped me cross a critical threshold. In fact, one of my favorite vendors Vat19.com reached out to me after seeing my product in a competitor’s catalog. Vat19.com went on to create a hysterical commercial for my product (complete with shirtless men) and even created a 9 foot tall Penny Portrait as a publicity stunt.AmazonThe biggest source of sales for me these days is Amazon. I started off doing “Fulfilled by Seller” where I would ship orders off to customers as they came in, but found switching to FBA “Fulfilled by Amazon” where I ship inventory to Amazon warehouses made my life a whole lot easier and increased sales significantly. In fact, switching to FBA immediately more than doubled the number of units I was selling.The ability to order my product via Amazon Prime really helps and it’s nice to just get emails stating I’ve made a sale and not have to do anything. (That said, Amazon makes more off each Penny Portrait sale than I do. It’s nice I have a huge margin built into this product as Amazon takes a big bite.)My goal was to have this business not take up too much of my time and it’s now at the point where I ship off cartons of Penny Portraits to various vendors and occasionally fill the individual orders that come directly to me through my website. It does gets a little busy around the holidays. (I typically sell about 500 units through Amazon alone in December.) For the most part though, things are on autopilot except for advertising which is more of a manual effort of reaching out to bloggers, posting on social media, etc. It’s nice because that is part of the business I can do on my own schedule.How are you doing today and what does the future look like?I pull in about $15K a year from this business and maybe $5K of that goes to expenses leaving about $10K of profit.Really the best way for me to increase my margins is to order in bulk, but there are only so many beds to hide posters under and if I order more than 1200 tubes at a time I lose a big portion of my garage! The product and packaging, not including labor for assembly, runs about $3, so my margins are also heavily dependent on the sales channel. If I sell from my website directly, I make about 50% more than I make through FBA. Amazon takes a huge chunk, (about $11) and that’s before considering that I also pay for shipping to them and buy advertising from them as well. That said, I’d guess 60% of my biz is through Amazon these days.The product retails for $20-$22 and I sell them to wholesalers like catalogs and coin shops for $10/unit. The more channels I can get in the better and think there is an opportunity to reach out to more museums and tourist destinations. I’d love to learn more about SEO and social media, but so far all my experiments with paid advertising haven’t really worked out too well. One thing I’ve explored is adding a Blog with unique content that might drive people to my site.Other than advertising on Amazon, it’s been very difficult to measure the ROI of my advertising spend. (I honestly think a lot of the people I’m trying to drive to my site end up buying on Amazon anyway.) I’ve considered looking into an expert to help me out with social media/advertising, but they typically charge so much that I’m not sure it would be cost effective.Through starting the business, have you learned anything particularly helpful or advantageous?Selling a product I personally created and own the copyright to has been useful as I haven’t had to worry about competitors. I also don’t need to pay anyone else for their intellectual property so it means more profit for me. Really, my biggest competitors are the vendors I sell wholesale to, as they tend to be better at social media and SEO than I am! I actually appreciate the fact that they do so much to get the word out, so don’t mind sharing the profits with them. The more chances people have to see my product the better. It’s also nice because when Amazon or I run out of inventory, there are still places online to always get my product.For a while, I did have problems with people offering counterfeits on Amazon. They would list Penny Portrait Kits for half price but had no intention of delivering them. These random storefronts would pop up advertising ridiculously low prices for Penny Portrait Kits which I knew was impossible as they had never purchased inventory from me. I even ordered one to see what would happen and sure enough never received it. Not sure what their business model was but fortunately, since I could prove to Amazon I had a copyright for my product, Amazon would shut down their storefront a few days after I informed them. It was very much a game of whack-a-mole though as often there were up to 3 identical storefronts with different names selling Penny Portrait Kits at one time. This went on for about a year until the counterfeiters finally gave up.The two biggest turning points for my business were when I went to Toy Fair and found a number of gift catalogs willing to carry my product and when I switched to FBA. FBA turned my business into more of a “set it and forget it” type business which works out very well for me.Having a graphic design background has also helped immensely as so much of advertising and promotion is visual for a product like this. I’ve saved a lot of money being able to do packaging and website creation myself.What platform/tools do you use for your business?I hate getting stuck with monthly fees, so if I have the option to pay for something once, I’ll typically go that route.I currently use a Wordpress site I created with DIVI and a WooCommerce back end. Paypal is useful when I need to create USPS shipping labels I can print from home.I’ve used MailChimp to send out exactly one promotion as I don’t like to spam my customers. MailChimp is free if you have less than 2000 subscribers so that works well.I have a fun blog where I post goofy things related to my biz.I download all my transactions from my bank account into Excel and use that and TurboTax to do taxes.I used Fiverrr to have someone create an animation of a Penny Portrait being assembled which turned out pretty well. (It actually cost me $5.)What have been the most influential books, podcasts, or other resources?The very best podcasts and blogs are the ones who have interviewed me. ; )The long-term exposure from having content on the internet forever has been fantastic and really helps with my search results. I’ll give a shout out to MyMoneyBlog, Chris Guillebeau’s “Side Hustle School” (Chris is the best selling author of such notable books as “The $100 Startup”), Ryan Helm’s “Grit and Hustle” podcast and Nick Loper over at “Side Hustle Nation”.As far as books, there is one very short book I recommend to every entrepreneur called the “Max Strategy” by Dale Dauten. It’s a quick read, but extremely thought provoking.Advice for other entrepreneurs who want to get started or are just starting out?Control expenses. Spend a little money and measure the results before going big on anything. There are tons of middlemen in any industry and if you don’t watch yourself, all of your profits will go to these folks instead of yourself.You don’t need fancy stationary or expensive accounting software. Keep things lean and if you have something that works, you’ll know when to scale up. You don’t need an LLC to start off and you certainly don’t need the expenses that come with it.Also, don’t focus on the bad things that could happen. (Some of them inevitably will.) Too often people focus on the negative when what they don’t realize is that just as many unforeseen good things will happen when starting a business.When starting Penny Portrait, I mentioned to a friend I was going to include a 1943 steel penny with each kit as I had about 50 of them and figured it would be a neat incentive for early buyers. Ends up my friend had gone through an “Ebay phase” and had acquired over 5,000 steel pennies that were just sitting in storage.He sold them to me for a modest profit and I now include a steel penny with each kit sold. Sometimes things just work out that you can’t foresee.Are you looking to hire for certain positions right now?If anyone has clever ideas on how to drive sales from my website, I’m all ears, (just like Abe!) The compensation model would need to be based on earning a percentage of the results as too many of my advertising efforts have just been throwing money into the wind without seeing any return on those investments.I know there is a lot of room for me to improve in this area, but the learning curve tends to be tricky as the tools are constantly changing.Where can we go to learn more?PennyPortrait.comAlways happy to respond to email at [email protected] this text interview? Check out the full interview with photos, tools, books, and other data.Interested in sharing your own story? Send me a PM