#I saw it today and it is a solid 8.5/10
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(TBOSAS spoilers)
It’s the way that they chose to change Lucy Gray singing Pure as Driven Snow for the first time to Coriolanus, it’s the way he WALKS AWAY as she’s singing. He literally WALKS AWAY as she’s confessing her love, as she confesses that she trusts him. HE WALKS AWAY FROM HER LOVE, HER TRUST for a self serving interest, not even following Sejanus out of a sense of care but to cover his own tracks, for his own self preservation.
Coriolanus Snow walks away from Lucy Gray Baird telling him she loves him.
He. Walks. Away.
#TBOSAS spoilers#the hunger games spoilers#tbosas#I saw it today and it is a solid 8.5/10#But this narrative choice is gonna drive me insane#Especially with it’s symbolism
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So...
I saw Kung Fu Panda 4 today, and overall, it was a pretty decent film, I definitely found it better than the third film, which is something I worried about when DreamWorks announced there was gonna be a fourth film. (Supposedly there's gonna be six films altogether.) *Spoilers below the cut.*
Music: The soundtrack/score was pretty solid. Hanz Zimmer has always been a great music producer and each piece fit and set the tone of each scene. Also they kept all the leitmotifs from all the previous films, as well as one particular one from the third film. Overall I give the music a solid 10/10.
Characters: Po, Shifu, Mr. Ping, and Li Shan, (Po's biological father) were all there, but the Furious Five were nowhere in sight until the very end, which kinda surprised and disappointed me. I liked Zhen as Po's sidekick and her personality was mischievous as sneaky, as well as spunky. I found the chameleon to be a much more intimidating villain than General Kai from the third film, which again was a bit of fresh air, because something about Kai didn't really impress me as a villain. The chameleon is right up there with Lord Shen. The other bad guy side characters were pretty funny to watch, and they served their purpose, so nothing much to complain about there, although I feel like Po doesn't really develop much in this film like he did in the other three. Overall I give characters a 8.5/10. May or may not change this score later.
Plot: once again, the whole Furious Five not being apart of the movie as much as the other three films kinda surprised and disappointed me. I could see the betrayal twist with Zhen coming a mile away, and I knew she either had to affiliate with the chameleon in one way or another. When the Chameleon stole all the past warriors powers for her own, I fully expected her to actually attack the city, but it didn't happen. The whole fight was pretty much contained inside the throne room area. At least Zhen betrayed the Chameleon back in exchange to be a good person and to be Po's friend for real. It's no surprise either that Po would choose her to be the next Dragon Warrior. Was also surprised to see Tai Lung and the rest of the bad guys essentially end any "bad blood" between them and Po and show respect. Li Shan and Mr. Ping provided comedic relief and nothing much more. Overall I give the plot a 7.5/10.
Animation: Nothing much to say here, the drawings and colors were pretty solid, I didn't notice any glitches or anything off to me, and frames moved smoothly. 10/10.
Final thoughts: Overall I think this movie was a bit better than the third film, at least villain wise. The Chameleon and Zhen helped play a role in making the film engaging. But not seeing the Furious Five disappointed me personally, which is why I'm giving the film altogether a 8/10.
Let me know what you all thought of the film!
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Beer review time
So because of *current events*, I traveled an hour today to pick up some Baltika No. 6.
Author’s note: Yes, Baltika is brewed in St. Petersburg. Yes, I am a Marxist. Yes, I support leftist unity. No, I do not support the actions of Russia post-1991. No, I do not support NATO.
Now that that’s out of the way, I found Baltika a really long time ago, like age 15 from a YouTube channel called Hard4Games. They did Ocarina of Time beta quests and glitching, and they always had Baltika in the shot. My brain stored that away for some reason, and then last year I went to a specialty grocery near me and saw the logo. Suddenly I had a quick memory and grabbed a bottle of their porter. I loved it, I drank it while watching T-34.
Today, I drove back to that same specialty grocery and picked up as many as I could feasibly grab in one trip. I know that with the current political climate that it may become rare, if not impossible, to find in the coming months.
Baltika No.6 is a porter brewed in St. Petersburg, Russia and is famous for coming in giant 1L jugs in Eastern Europe and being consumed alongside semechki. It’s a strong beer, at 7% alcohol, and despite its low cost it has a lot of flavor. The hops are more present in Baltika 6 in comparison to other dark beers like Guinness or Yuengling Black and Tan, which gives it a brightness to the flavor. It drinks like a heavy beer, but has a light flavor, which is surprising on the first sip. I can see why they sell it in giant plastic jugs, though, because it tastes amazing. The light flavor makes it easy to drink, until it finally settles and you feel like you ate two loaves of bread. Because you basically did.
Out of 10, I’d rate Baltika No. 6 a 6.5. Compared to American dark beers from large breweries, I’d rate it a solid 8.5.
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round up // JANUARY 21
New year, not-so-new Crowd vs. Critic! It’s another batch of films, TV, music, and reads that were new to me this month and think you would enjoy, too. As we cozy up inside for the winter, nothing warms you up like a good piece of pop culture.
January Crowd-Pleasers
Wonder Woman 1984 (2020)
Does this sequel reach the heights of 2017’s Wonder Woman? No, but I wish more superhero movies were like this one. I explain why at ZekeFilm. Crowd: 9.5/10 // Critic: 8/10
21 Bridges (2019)
A solid action crime thriller with a solid Chadwick Boseman at the center. Crowd: 8.5/10 // Critic: 7.5/10
The Lethal Weapon Series (1987-98)
I watched the first Lethal Weapon in 2017 for ZekeFilm, but now I’ve a decade’s pleasure of progressively over-the-top action sequences and progressively more absurd ways to destroy Roger Murtaugh’s (Danny Glover) house. The Murtaugh/Riggs bromance holds this progressively sillier series together, and an supporting cast of charismatic actors (Jet Li, Darlene Love, Chris Rock, Rene Russo) are game for whatever comes their way. Joe Pesci is the true MVP. Series Crowd: 9/10 // Series Critic: 7/10
The High Note (2020)
Tracee Ellis Ross’s Grace Davis is a diva in every sense of the word. A high-strung and highly successful singer, she’s also highly demanding of her assistant Maggie (Dakota Johnson), who wants to step out of her shadow and become a music producer. This rom-com-adjacent flick is one of the most fun escapes I’ve had from a 2020 movie, and it’s perfect for a girls’ night in. Crowd: 8.5/10 // Critic: 7/10
Double Feature—Rom-Coms With a Magical Twist: Just My Luck (2006) + When In Rome (2010)
Disclaimer: These movies are not good. In fact, they’re junk, but they’re my kind of junk. In Just My Luck (Crowd: 7.5/10 // Critic: 6/10), Lindsay Lohan loses her life-long lucky streak when she kisses schlimazel Chris Pine. And When in Rome (Crowd: 8/10 // Critic: 6/10), Kristen Bell attracts unwanted admirers (Will Arnett, Danny DeVito, Josh Duhamel, Jon Heder, and real-life future husband Dax Shepard) after she steals their coins from a wishing fountain. To their credit, both of these movies know they’re silly, which means you have permission to just sit back and laugh along with (or, honestly, at) them.
WandaVision (2021)
I sometimes fear for the world of entertainment when I think of how much intellectual property Disney has gobbled up, but WandaVision is evidence the company is a benevolent dictator at least for now. This odd delight is a send up and a tribute to sitcoms like I Love Lucy, I Dream of Jeannie, and The Brady Bunch, and Paul Bettany and Elizabeth Olsen are so charming and weird I don’t need whatever mysterious sub-plot they’re building.
Robin Hood: Men in Tights (1993)
If you want to make the most of watching Robin Hood: Men in Tights, first watch Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves (1991), an action flick I saw last February and didn’t include in my monthly Round Up. This Mel Brooks spoof is a direct response that self-serious Kevin Costner adventure, even down to copying its costumes. While I wish I could find a Mel Brooks comedy with any substantial female character (in every movie I’ve seen so far, the joke is either, “She’s got a great rack!” or “Wow, she’s an uggo!”), I still couldn’t stop laughing at this 104-minute version of the Robin Hood scene in Shrek. Crowd: 9/10 // Critic: 8/10
Aliens (1986)
Peak ‘80s action. Peak alien grossness. Peak girl boss Sigourney Weaver. Crowd: 9/10 // Critic: 8/.510
Big (1988)
After talking about Laverne & Shirley with Kyla on SO IT’S A SHOW?, I had to check out Penny Marshall’s classic. While a few moments haven’t aged so well, its heart is sweet and the script is hilarious. And that Tom Hanks? I think he’s going places. Crowd: 9.5/10 // Critic: 8/10
Unstoppable (2010)
I’ve laughed at SNL’s spoof of this movie for a decade, so it’s about time I got around to enjoying this action thriller very loosely based on the true story of a train that got away from its conductor. Denzel Washington (“You’re too old!”) and Chris Pine (“You’re too young!”) are our heroes in this over-the-top ridiculousness, and their chemistry is so extra it makes me hope they team up for another movie again. Crowd: 9/10 // Critic: 7/10
January Critic Picks
Double Feature—‘90s Space Adventures: Apollo 13 (1995) + Contact (1997)
I have no desire to join Tom Cruise as he films in space, but I know I’ll be pumped to watch whatever he makes because I love sci-fi and space adventures. Apollo 13 (Crowd: 9/10 // Critic: 9/10) tells the story of an almost-disastrous NASA mission in the ‘60s, and it taps into our hope for the human spirit to overcome obstacles. Contact (Crowd: 8.5/10 // Critic: 8.5/10) surmises what might happen if we received communication from extraterrestrial life, and it taps into our struggle to reconcile faith and science.
McCartney III by Paul McCartney (2020)
I spent January catching up on the albums on Best of 2020 lists, and the one I listened to for hours and hours was Paul McCartney’s latest solo album. Catchy, thoughtful, and musically surprising, it ranges from pop to rock to folk in 45 minutes and still feels like it’s over too soon. Like Tom Hanks, this Paul McCartney guy is going places!
The Thin Man Series (1934-47)
Like Lethal Weapon, I watched the first installment of The Thin Man awhile back, and Kyla and I even covered the series on our podcast. But thanks to a full series marathon on TCM earlier this month, I’ve now laughed through all five. When you talk about great chemistry, you’ve got to talk about William Powell and Myrna Loy, who make Nick and Nora’s marriage feel lived in and romantic as they solve crimes together. Witty, suspenseful, and jaunty, this series is still sexy cool over 80 years later. (Also, Asta? Still one of the cutest dogs in cinema.) Series Crowd: 8.5/10 // Critic: 8.5/10
The King and I (1956)
Here’s your regularly scheduled reminder Hollywood works differently now, and many casting decisions of the ‘50s wouldn’t fly today. What has aged well in this film: The Rodgers and Hammerstein music and the sumptuous costumes and set design. I love extravagant musicals of yesteryear—perhaps it’s time for Hollywood to revisit and remake The King and I for modern audiences?
youtube
Inauguration Day
In a year with no major televised events with celebrities in a room together, Inauguration Day felt like the most exciting cultural event in ages. We’ve been missing major fashion, but then we got Lady Gaga! We’ve been missing live performances, but then we got Amanda Gorman! And I got a lot of tears during that poem—not just me, right?
Good Reads
Writing that made me think and smile this month:
Steven Soderbergh’s list of everything he read, watched, and listened to this year, Extension765.com (2020) – An indirect inspiration for these monthly Round Ups!
“My Year of Making Lists,” NewYorker.com (2020) – I made a lot of lists in 2020, so I feel this author’s #mood
“Betty White Says She Will Spend Her 99th Birthday Feeding Two Ducks Who Visit Her ‘Every Day,’“ CBSNews.com (2021) - “Betty is a treasure,” I say as I watch The Proposal for the 99th time
“A Sculpture’s Unusual Journey to SLAM [St. Louis Art Museum],” SLAM.org (2020) – With a casual mention of an attraction I never knew about in St. Louis
“The Culture Is Ailing. It’s Time for a Dr. Fauci for the Arts.” WashingtonPost.com (2020) – An idea that occurred to me a few months ago: Why don’t we have an Arts Cabinet?
“The Arts Are in Crisis. Here’s How Biden Can Help.” NYTimes.com (2021) – Partly in response to that Washington Post piece, a historical look at how artists have made it through difficult times in the past and how we can revive artists’ livelihoods mid- and post-pandemic
“The Right’s Message to Silicon Valley: 'Free Speech for Me, But Not for Thee,'” TIME.com (2021) – A more thoughtful and less reactionary take on a volatile moment in the history of modern technology
“'It Makes Me Sick With Grief': Trump's Presidency Divided Families. What Happens to Them Now?” TIME.com (2021) – A study on how politics has done damage to family dynamics in America
“Help, the Only Cinema I Can Handle Is Zac Efron Prancing Angrily in High School Musical 2,” Vulture.com (2021) - In a lot of ways, same
“50 Easy Things To Do When You are Anxious,” ShopTwentySeven.com (2021) – I especially endorse coloring, puzzling, and watching happy movies!
Double Feature—Miss Marple Mysteries: Murder at the Gallop (1963) + Murder Ahoy (1964)
Remember when I was all like, “Watch these Agatha Christie movies so you’re not sad Death on the Nile is delayed”? Remember when I said I was just a few movies away from becoming an Agatha Christie junkie? Well, I think I’m there because I can’t stop with the murder mysteries! Margaret Rutherford is a treasure whether she’s solving a murder at a horse ranch or on a boat, and a cast of colorful supporting characters (including Rutherford’s husband) makes these breezy instead of heavy. Crowd: 8/10 // Critic: 8/10
8½ (1963)
File this with 2001: A Space Odyssey—I don’t know if I really understood this film, but I think I liked it? Federico Fellini’s surrealist, male gaze-y drama blurs the lines between reality and imagination, love and dysfunction, and the past and maybe some future that involves clowns? What resonated with me was the story of a director with creative block, wondering if he’s already peaked and if he’ll create anything worthwhile again. Crowd: 6/10 // Critic: 9/10
Sense and Sensibility: The Screenplay and Diaries by Emma Thompson (1995)
Sense and Sensibility is not just one of my favorite Jane Austen adaptations—it’s one of my all-time favorite films. One of the co-hosts of one of my favorite podcasts has raved many-a-time about Emma Thompson’s journals from the making of film, so it was only a matter of time before I read them myself. Witty, informative, and all-around lovely, Thompson’s journals are an excellent insight into the filmmaking process and how novels are adapted.
Also in January…
I reviewed the new-ish documentary Flannery for ZekeFilm, which is all about the writer Flannery O’Connor and feels a little like going back to high school English class.
In addition to the Lethal Weapon and Thin Man series, I rewatched all of the X-Men series this month. You can see everything I am watching on Letterboxd, including favorites I love returning to (i.e. X-Men: Days of Future Past) and the movies I try that don’t make my monthly recommendations (i.e. The Wolverine).
Photo credits: Paul McCartney, Zac Efron, Sense & Sensibility. All others IMDb.com.
#Round Up#Wonder Woman 1984#21 Bridges#Lethal Weapon#The High Note#Just My Luck#When in Rome#WandaVision#Robin Hood: Men in Tights#Aliens#Big#Unstoppable#Apollo 13#Contact#McCartney III#The Thin Man#The King and I#Amanda Gorman#Murder at the Gallop#Murder Ahoy#Miss Marple#8 1/2#Sense and Sensibility#Emma Thompson
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What kind of fathers do you think Katakuri, cracker, and oven would be?
Just some smol headcanon for this sinceit’s technically more of a question than a request but I still needto get out some headcanons because of course xD
Katakuri, Cracker and Oven as fathersheadcanon
Katakuri
the serious and slightly strict type.
„remember to be home at exactly 8,(K/N). And don’t do anything dangerous. Remember to drink your waterlike your mother told you, and don’t eat too many sweets!“
even though they are his kids, theymight or might not be a bit scared of him
he’s their dad and really loves thelittle ones more than anything, but Katakuri has such a hard timedisplaying those feelings that he might come across as cold sometimes. Which he’ll beat himself up about later because that’s NOT what hewanted
honestly he doesn’t really know how tohandle them, especially since he never had a real loving parentalfigure himself while growing up, so as his partner you would definitely have to give him a few pointers
he’s trying his best as a father, but his other duties are still extremely important to him as well so Katakuri might even (unintentionally) miss out on certain events during their younger years
he altogether scores a rough 5/10 on the dad meter, but there is definitely a chance of improvement and he does have the determination to try and be a good father
Cracker
the fun and wannabe ‘cool’ dad
„Hey (K/N), how is my little fruitof the groin today~?“
honestly from the moment he first heldthem Cracker knew that this was just,,, just. His legacy. The legendaryCracker bloodline will continue, and as father he’ll make it hispersonal duty to raise the kids to be as strong and awesome as he is!
and back when they were little he was probably the coolest person ever to them… But the older they are the more embarrassedthe kids get because of their father’s antics and weird attempts to appear young andcool. You’re an old man Biscuitdaddy, just accept it please xD
he is super confident and takes great pride in his own flesh and blood, sometimes even to the extend that he is constantly hyping up his children and won’t shut up about how great they are, much to the dismay of anyone who’s near…
and if memes existed in One Piecehe would spend a good amount of time studying them so he can make his kids laugh lol
overall Cracker gets a solid 7/10 on the dad meter, because even though he is a great and loving parent his attempts at being 'hip’ all the time might cause his kids to move out way earlier than he might have expected
Oven
I’m sorry but I saw that gif and I had to put it here xDDD
he is somewhat similar to Katakuri, but definitely more on thewarm (lol) and jolly side
„Did you remember everything youneed, (K/N)? Are your laces tied properly? Wouldn’t want you to falllike last time, so here, let Papa take a look…“
he is a strict parent with clear rules,but he also loves his kids so much that it might weaken his iron defense from time to time. Especially when they’re being cute and thepuppy eyes get him way too often as well lol
still, I definitely wouldn’t call him‘lenient’. If the kids do something bad or inappropriate then therewill not only be a longass lecture but they’ll have to write an essayon why what they did was wrong
he can be both strict aswell as funny and doesn’t have a problem with openly expressing his love tohis children
seriously seeing his own flesh and blood grow up,,, being the proper human beings he always wanted them to be… Oven is just sitting in a corner, watching them with pride and love in his eyes as the whisper “I made this” leaves his lips
he scores the highest with an 8.5 on the dad scale, I’m taking away 1.5 points though because some of his punishments can be… too severe, even for small things.
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Y’ALL I SAW ALADDIN TODAY !!!
pls excuse any of the nonsensical parts of this review, ‘cause i have lots of THOUGHTS and FEELINGS™
read ahead 4 my (not spoiler free) thoughts
okay so first off i want to say that i had very low expectations for this movie. when it was announced i was excited (aladdin is one of my favourite disney movies), but when the first teaser came out i felt majorly disappointed because i was not feelin’ the movie or the visuals, AT ALL. then the most recent trailer came out and my interest rose to a “tentatively looking forward to but still wary of” level. basically i expected this movie to be a 4/10 and i was solidly surprised that it was more like a 8.5/10
gospel truth, this movie is amazing. honestly, i’d say that personally it’s my favourite disney live action adaption thus far, and objectively the most well rounded.
first off, mena massoud. imo his singing voice actually sounds A LOT like brad kane, to my surprise, and he definitely has that youthful energy you need to see from aladdin. i feel like he added an earnest sincerity to the role, he spent a little less time pretending and swaggering around than his animated counterpart, but make no mistake, he was still smooth as hell though. he’s a talented guy and i think he made a great aladdin.
naomi scott as jasmine is undoubtedly the breakout role of the film, and the cast member who’s performance people are going to be talking about. she’s definitely been given more material to work with than in the animated version (no criticism to my girl og jasmine, who i think has a solid basis as a character anyways, especially compared to earlier disney princesses), and she absolutely rocks it. she brings a sincerity to the role as well, playing jasmine as less spoiled and short-tempered, and more outspoken and yearning. she’s still fierce and stubborn though, and speechless should absolutely be given major recognition- she sang the hell out of it. actual goosebumps. i’m not usually a fan of new songs being inserted into classics, but this one worked really well. also, jasmine as sultana? slay me.
their chemistry?? amazing. god tier.
will smith is really the big draw for the audience, and it’s obvious. for the aladdin purist, or really anyone who grew up with the animated version, it takes a bit at first to get used to him, but to be fair, when you have robin williams owning the role so strongly in the original, of course it’s going to take some time to adjust. other than some song lyrics, he didn’t use a whole lot of robin’s iconic original lines, which is good. robin had his own material (hours worth of it, seriously), and will has his. i thought his humour would be overbearing, but the jokes in general were genuinely funny. it didn’t feel forced, or like it was trying too hard, which was my original concern. and keep an eye out for easter eggs from him :)))
one of the complaints i saw a lot on here was that jafar was way too attractive. i can see that. but he’s so slimy and misogynistic to me that it kind of overshadowed any potential attractiveness. i LOVED the small detail of him being a thief, that was just enough backstory to move the plot along in certain places (aka getting the lamp back from aladdin)
nasim perdrad as dalia. first of all, i love her character addition. jasmine having a friend and confidant in her handmaiden fit in seamlessly. i personally find her quite funny, so her comedic role worked for me. i do wish they had cast someone… less white-passing i guess?? but she’s iranian, so i’m not sure how much i can speak to that whilst staying in my lane. her and genie’s mutual crushes on each other?? adorable.
the costumes !!! they looked stiff and slightly cheap to me in the promos, but they were so gorgeous on screen. the colours, the materials, everything. jasmine’s makeup was bomb af and i can see people flocking to yt to watch tutorials on how to achieve it. aladdin’s street rat costume was slightly weak in my eyes, but not anything to hold against the movie. also, the colours?? the vibrancy?? the fuckin’ flavour jumped right out there. (sidenote: jafar should’ve had more guyliner, full stop)
minor roles: abu was too cute, and i definitely wanted more rajah, but that’s just a personal thing and less of a complaint (@ his proportions were… strange though. hmu if it’s not just me lmao). iago… idk my thoughts there. i’d argue gilbert gottfried has an iconic voice almost equal to robin williams (not necessarily as iago, just in general), so maybe that’s why he wasn’t a fully articulated parrot. or maybe it was in the interest of realism, i have no idea truly.
i’m not a cgi person. i’m a big fan of creative stunts and set ups, and irl location scouting. but it seems inevitable that i’ll have to get used to it. the cgi in aladdin was largely inoffensive (though i should note i did not see it in 3D). carpet truly had a spectacular design/animation though.
re: soundtrack. for me, it’s always weird when lyrics are changed to famous music, especially ones you sing along with like disney songs. so arabian nights is probably the most egregious in that regard, but then again it’s the opening song, and the audience’s introduction to will smith’s voice, so it could be that too. one jump was slightly better (the reprise was 👌👌), prince ali was fantastic, a whole new world made me goddamn cry like a baby. one of my biggest complaints in disney live action adaptations is that they don’t seem to use the scores from the animated source material, which is such a shame. the fact that they used the musical cues, esp. the kiss (which KILLED ME, i died. in fact, i’m writing this from beyond the grave) made me sf happy. i came out of the theater ready to get that OST y’all !!!
i wouldn’t say this movie is an amazing feat of directing on guy ritchie’s part, and i’m hesitant to give him props when i feel like the actors, the set decorators, costume designers, choreographers, etc, are the ones who made the film so praise-worthy.
one of my complaints was going to be “ah i wish this movie had more of a bollywood influence in it”, and as soon as i thought it BAM, we get a crazy dance scene/sequence. i liked it, it wasn’t just a well-choreographed insert. it had a purpose, a way to show how aladdin’s showing off is actual a detriment in his quest to win over jasmine. also, i loved how jasmine called the sultan “baba”, which i believe is a sort of word for “father” used in india.
only negative thing i can think of besides some of the awkward lyric changes is prince anders (when he came on screen i was literally like “oh shit hey it’s macklemore”). i just… don’t get it?? is billy magnussen really that big of a draw? does aladdin share that large of a common fan base with mamma mia? they don’t even really say what happens to him at the end of the movie, but i suppose i’d rather have a weird exaggerated accent on a yt dude than some stereotypical one given to a poc in a role solely meant to get laughs :///
speaking off, one my biggest concerns going into the movie was the treatment of poc. animated aladdin is no pocahontas, but it definitely does have its racially tone deaf moments, and in general the main cast of the movie are animated in a MUCH more westernized way than all the other roles in the movie (i.e. the guard, the merchants, background characters, all have less euro-centric features and thicker accents in their dialogue, if they were even given any). i was wondering how that’d translate in this adaption, and when the whole guy ritchie/brown face makeup thing came out it was a big ahshitherewegoagain.gif mood for me. the movie is nothing to write home about in terms of representation. i don’t think it makes a large (if any) statement in regards to that, but it makes up for it a bit in the unapologetic addressing of the lack of power in traditional female roles; speechless in itself is a whole-ass ode to the act of kicking the idea of “a woman should seen but not heard” to the curb :)))
i guess what i’m trying to say is that while you won’t find a ton of overtly racial stereotypes in this movie, it doesn’t exactly bring anything to the table in respect to challenging the level of racist humor that is normalized in movies. people may argue that a children’s movie is no place for those types of statements, but if not that, where and when? racism is a learned behavior and the media we consume is a such a large part of that, especially in regards to what is presented to kids. in that sense, every movie is essentially an opportunity to put forth a new normal of introducing humor not rooted in over-the-top caricatures of specific cultures. i’d be lying if i said i didn’t think a poc director would’ve given the subject more weight and consideration whilst making this movie.
overall this movie has great acting, pretty decent dialogue, is genuinely funny, contains good music, and in itself, kind of appears like a diamond in the rough. but most importantly, it deserves to be given a chance. i loved it 😊😊
#aladdin (2019)#disney#aladdin spoilers#personal#i'll probably update this in the AM when i'm less exhausted
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DEATH BATTLE Review: Mario vs. Sonic (2018)
A classic match… With the modern rules… Today, we are seeing an old battle with new rules, better animation, and superior research. Bare in mind, that since the original battle was animated, researched, and written by Ben, so there might be some new things, and there might be a lot of different ideas.
It’s also the first time we’re going to see Wiz and Boomstick animated too.
And the overall episode only really brings them into focus when doing a bit, a demonstration, or a bit of math. So it’s not like we’re watching these two do stuff like use a laser pointer to showcase certain things, we’re seeing them only when it would be funny, or when some math would be needed.
The initial preview states that they are going to focus on the core games, and any material from anything that would be supported from the games.
Mario’s Preview:
Mario’s preview has all the usual stats that you’d see in an initial preview.
And a quick thing about his full name is in a notecard.
(Personally, I’d go with what’s more recent).
And then there’s Mario’s arsenal. Which is uh… Pretty big.
Mario’s arsenal is very big. And with those indefinite uses, he’s got more on him easily.
(Mario easily takes arsenal in this scenario).
He’s also fast enough to react as a being of living electricity. From Mario Odyssey.
And a strength scaling feat is added too.
And Mario having a Tyrannosaurus tossing feat is backed up by the solid gold chain chomp feat back in Mario Sunshine.
And Mario’s feats are a sight to behold.
And Mario punting castles puts his best strength feat at about…
That.
By the looks of it, Mario’s definitely earned the title of Nintendo’s posterboy.
Sonic’s Preview:
And Sonic takes off at blinding speeds, with, what else, his background.
Sega’s lack of caring about how biology works in the Sonic universe is also mentioned. Like how real Hedgehogs aren’t that fast, they aren’t blue, and how Foxes are their natural predator.
Sonic’s equipment isn’t as vast as Mario’s, but it’s still pretty impressive considering that some of his are natural powers, and not limited to power-ups.
And Sonic doesn’t. exactly have Lightspeed capabilities. If one recalls from the Metal Sonic vs. Zero battle, Sonic isn’t exactly light speed, but he’s definitely at least hypersonic.
Sonic also can outrun lightning. Meaning that hypersonic is more or less lowballing Sonic’s speed stat.
And outrunning the black hole thing in Sonic Colors puts Sonic’s best speed at about…
That.
Sonic’s Super Forms also get a quick rundown as well.
And to top it all off, Sonic also has quite the tub of feats to pull from.
Sonic’s certainly earned the title of being Sega’s mascot.
The Battle Itself.
Blindferret is animating this bout, and it’s the second time they’re animating something since Smokey vs. McGruff. Mario will be voiced by Kamran Nikhad while Sonic will be voiced by Nicholas Andrew Louie. Music is done by Therewolf, and is called Retro Rivals.
So, if you saw the sneak peak, you know that the reason the fight starts is because Sonic decided to tan in Mario’s spot.
(And here I thought the reason for Yang starting the fight with Tifa was petty).
Sonic lands the first hit, and until Mario manages to land a good blow on him, Sonic is left to try for a Wisp. By the looks of it, Mario isn’t being granted Cappy, but considering Sonic’s ability to resist mind control, there’s probably no reason to believe that Cappy would have made a difference.
And after using his Catsuit and Double Cherries, Mario manages to force Sonic into the water, and get him to use up his Water Shield.
This forces Sonic to utilize his Super form, and makes Mario use his own Star and Wing Cap. Until the battle gets taken to space, where the resulting clash causes…
That. The resulting clash causes THAT.
Finishing Blow in
5…
4…
3…
2…
1…
And the trip back down paints a clear picture as to who would win, considering that Mario up and throws Sonic downward at what can only be assumed to be way faster than terminal velocity.
(So uh… Does this mean that Luigi could beat Tails, or…?)
Verdict + Explanation.
So, in terms of arsenal, it was pretty even… at least considering what each power up could do. But Mario’s wider range of Power Ups gave him a leg-up.
Sonic had speed, no argument there. But Mario had strength. So the big question was if Mario could hit Sonic.
And considering that Mario could react as a bolt of electricity, and pilot the Star Diver, the answer would be yes.
Another factor in the fight would be durability. While both were impressive, Mario’s durability feat would blow Sonic’s strength out of the water.
And Sonic isn’t that much tougher than Mario either. It was only a matter of time until Mario managed to hit Sonic with an attack that could kill him.
Overall impression.
After thinking about it for a while, I came to realize the biggest reason Mario won was because he had more games in the time between the original and this than Sonic had. Mario didn’t really have many feats that could back up being able to hit Sonic back then, and while I’m trying to look at this objectively, I’m a guy who spent the last few years under the impression that Sonic would beat Mario more times than not. Not that I just blindly believed DEATH BATTLE, I just didn’t think that Mario could actually manage to hit Sonic at all to land a killing blow.
It’s a bit hard to come to terms with that, but when you write a story using the characters that appear in DEATH BATTLE and have to make them interact in a scenario where they’re not killing each other, you learn how to no longer give any shits about results.
Overall, the animation was stunning, and the music was really fun. The rundown was pretty good too, and it really feels like it was a big thing. Though, now I’m worried that the fans will start demanding that they go back on other episodes and do those over too, so that’s going to be fun. Can’t wait to see a bunch of angry fanboys demanding that they do Batman vs. Spider-Man over again because they’re still salty about the Dark Knight’s loss to the Web-Slinger (And yes. There are still people being angry and salty about it in the comments section).
8.5/10. It wasn’t a battle that I wanted, nor was it a battle I was expecting for number 100, but it was still fun.
Next Time…
I feel kinda underwhelmed by this matchup. And to be honest, I blame Marvel vs. Capcom Infinite for making people think that this was a better matchup than Ultron vs. Brainiac.
But I guess one extremist robot against another isn’t too bad of a fight. Though this now begs the question as to who Brainiac could fight.
Is there a fight that you want me to review? - Send an ask/request, and I’ll look into it!
Do you want to read my fanfic based around DEATH BATTLE itself? click here!
Thank you for reading, and I hope to see you next time for…
Robo Extremist vs. Robo Extremist.
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Flashback Friday: Survivor Series 1997
Welcome to the 1st installment of Pay-Per-Views from the past. I figured we start off with a bang because today marks the 21st anniversary of the Montreal Screwjob. In the previous article I wrote, The New Golden Age Of Pro Wrestling, I mentioned that we probably are in a new “Golden Era” in the world of pro wrestling. Well many people might agree that the Montreal Screwjob was the spark that started the fire in pro wrestling’s last “Golden Era”. Many fans looked to this PPV as the start of WWE’s Attitude Era so why not review this infamous PPV.
(SN:Off the bat, I have to mention that the cold open video package done before the show was beautifully done, but WWE video editing team has done great work for years. They manage to get this right every time especially during the Attitude Era)
Date: November 9, 1997
Location: Molson Centre in Montreal, Quebec, Canada
(C)=Champion
Italics= Winner
Match 1: The Godwinns (Henry O. Godwinn and Phineas I. Godwinn) and The New Age Outlaws (Billy Gunn and Road Dogg) VS. The Headbangers(Mosh and Thrasher) and The New Blackjacks (Blackjack Bradshaw and Blackjack Windham) //
So the 1st thing I noticed is that there is a French ring announcer by the name of Albert DeFrusia. As much as I remember about this PPV, I completely forgot about this guy and the choice of having a French ring announcer for this particular PPV is a genius move by WWE.
So the thing that I’ve always counted on the talent of the Attitude Era to provide some pretty funny moments and of course the Road Dogg delivers. He cuts a promo saying that his team is here to deliver some “Southern Justice” and referred to their opponents, The Headbangers and The New Blackjacks, as “steers & qu**rs” which is an old insult that has been used to describe Texans. It’s a solid insult for a heel. It’s funny because his tag team partner, Billy Gunn, is billed from Austin, Texas and is wearing a crop top with the Texas state flag on it (did I mention that Sam Houston State University is Billy Gunn’s alma mater).
This was crazy to me because until the final elimination, this was a good 15-minute showcase of some great wresting. Jim Ross mentioned in commentary that Mosh was a former collegiate wrestler and it showed.
It got wild when Bradshaw got eliminated because he was pinned by a roll-up, but I’m not sure if he knew it was a 3-count.
The New Age Outlaws get the win using shenanigans to allow Billy Gunn to hit a guillotine leg drop on Thrasher to become the Sole Survivors
Match 2: The Truth Commission (The Interrogator, The Jackyl, Recon and Sniper) VS The Disciples of Apocalypse (8-Ball, Chainz, Crush and Skull) // 4-on-4 Survivor Series elimination match
I don’t know why, but as much storyline they had going into these 4-on-4 Survivor Series elimination matches, they all felt rushed and at just shy of 10 minutes, this one felt the most rushed
I completely forgot that Bull Buchanan (B-Squared is his street name) was known as Recon and a part of the Truth Commission.
This match was essentially a showcase for the newest member of the Truth Commission, The Interrogator (b.k.a. Kurrgan).
The Jackyl was eliminated 1st and in true Don Callis-fashion, he joins commentary after his elimination.
8-Ball & Skull were the originators of “Twin Magic”, not the Bella Twins. It was executed perfectly in this match to eliminate Recon.
The Interrogator eliminated Crush via Sidewalk Slam to become the Sole Survivor.
Match 3: Team Canada (The British Bulldog, Doug Furnas, Jim Neidhart and Phil Lafon) VS Team USA (Goldust, Marc Mero, Steve Blackman and Vader) (with Sable) // 4-on-4 Survivor Series elimination match
The story of this match is the oddball Team USA with the unknown newcomer Steve Blackman, Vader, Goldust & Marc Mero who all apparently got personal problems that get in the way of them winning this match.
Steve Blackman’s lack of experience is the reason why he gets eliminated as he gets caught up in the double team tactics of Furnas & Lafon and get counted out.
After a falling out with Marlena, Goldust comes into this match clearly in the mood not to compete. This isn’t apparent initially, even thought JR & The King bring it up, but it shows once it’s down to him & Vader. He doesn’t wanna come into the match and Vader smacks the crap out of him for not wanting to participate. This ticks Goldust off and he elminates himself which ultimately cost his team the match.
While Vader was focused on eliminating Doug Furnas, British Bulldog resorts to dirty tactics by grabbing the ring bell while the ref was distracted and struck Vader with it to get the pinfall and the win for his team thus becoming the Sole Survivor.
Match 4: Kane VS Mankind
The video package prior to the match did a great job of showing what led to this match.
This was a match that clearly meant to get Kane super over as a monster. He put Mankind through the announcer table and beat the crap out of him. Mankind got little offense in. Kane dominated and got the win
The fan signs butchering the spelling of Kane’s name cracked me up!
Match 5: Ken Shamrock, Ahmed Johnson and The Legion of Doom (Animal and Hawk) VS The Nation of Domination (Faarooq, D'Lo Brown, Kama Mustafa and Rocky Maivia) // 4-on-4 Survivor Series elimination match
This 4-on-4 Survivor Series elimination match didn’t feel that rushed as the others. This had a lot story built into this as The Nation had been a problem for the other team in the weeks leading up to this event.
10 year-old me would be disappointed in know that I wasn’t a fan of Ahmed Johnson anymore. I saw this match and I was reminded why. His in-ring work is kinda sloppy. I still wanna know who’s idea was it to give him thigh pads.
I noticed that the Rock Bottom hadn’t received it’s proper name yet (I think) because the announcers never said it when he hit the move.
I forgot how over AF Ken Shamrock was at this time. He got a huge pop when he came to the ring and when the realization kicked in that we was outnumbered, the crowd got right behind him quick and it looked like he was feeding off that energy.
Shamrock was able to make D’Lo Brown & The Rock tapped to the ankle lock to become the Sole Survivor and the crowd exploded.
Match 6: Intercontinental Championship -Stone Cold Steve Austin VS Owen Hart (C)
There was a botch on Austin’s entrance. Only half the glass shattered.
The Slammy Award winner version of Owen Hart was peak Owen Hart. The “Owen 3:16, I just broke your neck” was amazing.
JIm Neidhart tried to interfere before the match and caught a Stunner for his troubles.
Austin clearly wanted to make this match a brawl and Owen was willing to give him one.
This was truly the Attitude Era as both guys resort to some heelish tactics to win the match. Austin wins with a eye rake that leads to a Stunner to win the IC Championship. After the match, he gave Stunners to Furnas & Lafon for charging the ring
Match 7: WWF Championship - Shawn Michaels VS Bret Hart (C)
The vast majority of y’all know how this ends, but the build up to the finish was phenomenal. From the ring entrances to Bret Hart beating the crap out of Shawn in the crown to both men choking each other with the Quebec flag, this was epic. The backstage politics ruined a great match by two of the best talents in the history of the WWE. This match should have been an instant classic akin to their Wrestlemania XII match 18 months prior.
Overall, I gotta give this PPV 8.5/10 rating. That crowd was amazing. The Survivor Series elimination matches felt kinda rushed, but were solid. All the singles matches lived up to the build up even though the main event had a crappy finish. Who would have known how important that finish was 21 years ago. Without that finish, we would never got the Mr. McMahon character. As disappointed as I was back then, I’m satisfied now because what we got was probably a period in pro wrestling that will never be duplicated and the most exciting time for me as a fan growing up. Send me a message letting me know what you think about Survivor Series 1997. What did you think of the PPV? Let your opinions be heard.
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My scores for E3, because apparently now i’m a dumb 4channer who thinks this /v/ meme shit matters, like it’s not gonna affect sales or anything it’s pointless as all hell [this is lenghy, but hear me out ok]
EA:
4/10 - people will probably play the games regardless of how shitty this presentation was but... It felt pretty insulting.
Battlefield V is probably gonna make a lot of money regardless cuz people like war games and it seems pretty well done, the more footage they have shown seemed better than their weird advertizement that made world war 2 seem very wacky, which honestly regardless if you’re a sexist neckbeard or not, seemed like a poor advertizement move.
TinyBuild:
No one watched this lol and it was just 1 GAME and a fun cute musical that made people who aren’t strong enough to musicals die, 6/10 because it made nerds die and their song is catchy, i dont really care about their 1 game.
Microsoft:
9/10 - I'm giving this much of a high score because I would play practically almost all of these games showcased (they’ll probably be available on PC which I’m biased for cuz I have a gaming PC), no kidding, I pretty much liked everything I saw and it was fairly straight to the point. Many gamers don’t appreciate the finer details of each game and think they’re generic but that’s just fanboys who haven’t played a single game outside of their favorites.
Also my cousin uses those Xbox One netflix rip offs that gives you games so i’m happy for him. The presentation had a lot of diamonds in the rough games that will I will probably appreciate more over time (they might even become cult classics like Metro or Dying Light) than any of other games at other e3s. As for the stuff I won’t be playing: It’s mostly harmless so eh.
There was an abundance of trailers! It was like one after the other, pure goodness, it seems as if they left out all of the Sports games to EA to present and the only thing they showed that might not be anyone’s cup of tea was “Forza”, but honestly? I appreciate it, it seems like a good racing game even if I’m not one to buy racing games.... But the more you think about the number of good games presented, the less you’ll think about that, I mean they showed DEVIL MAY CRY 5!!!
...The Funko Pop game made me scream though.
Bethesda:
8.5/10 I cannot deny that these are games I will want to play regardless if they’re good or not. Sad to see nerds not enjoy the opportunity to meet ANDREW W.K. but I’m glad all of the divisions they own are making sequels to stuff I already like, so pretty much Bethesda played it safe.
Devolver Digital:
8/10 It’s like that one b-movie film your college students made and you had a laugh with creating.
Square Enix:
5/10 seriously, 30 minues of just trailers? Most of which we saw?? I guess it could be worse but who uses E3 screentime for mostly MMORPG deals! The new stuff was too vague to be excited about too.
Ubisoft:
7/10 - I liked it when they made funny quirky things and their games are probably gonna be okay like usual, Ubisoft has dedicated fans that like their collectathon games they release every year, and it’s usually that one game you play when you’re bored and got nothing else, it’s okay.
Gamers hate fun and dancing and all that stuff but I kind of find stuff like that exciting, while nerds who never went outside and who are sensitive as all hell to any representation of fun find it “cringey”. A panda dabbed, and that settles it, Ubisoft was the only E3 Brave enough to dab this year.
PC Game Conference (it was fairly long):
I know none of you watch this one cuz y’all fake as hell but listen... Fuck you LOL, these are the type of games people actually play over 400 hours and really get people’s money. Like these are games built to last that might be on the best-selling Steam front page for MONTHS, like how Frostpunk was comfirmed last year during this conference, PC Gaming has been known for sleeper hits that nobody knows about (because the attention goes to cinematic experiences on consoles most of the time) but suddently everyone’s playing it.
PC gaming has always been an alternative lifestyle and seeing as many people didn’t watch this one, that just proves the point that it still relatively alternative. Maybe it’s because everyone sounds dumb as fuck when saying “PC GAMER MASTER RACE” and acting like an elitist.
The PC Gaming conference is always more of a talk show than a regular E3 which is why I respect it every year, fuck the hyperactive gamers that just wanna see flashy trailers, this one’s more SOPHISTICATED!! It feels a lot more human and less artificial. Either way, lot’s of what you might’ve expected: Simulators and Survival games you’ll probably spend 3 years playing until they make a better minecraft clone.
Gamers like to act as if they’re tired of Battle Royale (already? It’s a new fad it still is here to stay for a little more) but the numbers and success of it doesn’t lie that it isn’t a fad that proves itself to be highly tempting to try out for developers. Go cry to valve that they didn’t release Half-Life 3 cuz you haven’t played any other FPS game without even researching that Valve pretty much fired all of it’s developers and you’re just being annoying.
I feel as if I need to comment what I saw at this e3 cuz nobody watched, they made a mod I liked from skyrim into a fully-ass game, they’re rebooting Star Control which not a single gamer today knows of, the HP Lovecraft open world detective game also seems very good. YAKUZA IS COMING TO PC!!!!!!!!! Killing Floor 2 stuff, Road Redemption stuff, SHARK RPG, cute indie games, Jeff Goldblum was there, Wall-E with a gun in VR which seems to have promissing good vr design by Insomiac games (yes the spyro people), 2 games about Taxi driving... Like sure I think it’s a good format for story telling but.
A cell-shaded art game, star citizen is still being made, and it’s gone to the point nobody really wants it anymore even if it’s... Still being made you know? So most guys are wrong that it was gonna be canceled. After that was the technical graphic card stuff which gamers don’t have enough capability to understand, stuff like 9k laptops that SELL a lot mind you. Rich people love that technical stuff.
A space defense sim game, Don’t Starve Sequel, Just Cause 4 detailed explanation of the engine, Overkill’s The Walking Dead gameplay which has been in development hell for years now now has a release date, I discovered Clementine’s voice actor is white... Go figure, a literal pixelated roguelike (not what you think it is, it’s Noita),
Theme Hospital REBOOT!!!! YES!!!!!!!!! And the doctors were cute. Probably one of the funniest games presented... Followed by REALM ROYALE HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. That harvest moon clone with a cute art style is still being made: Ooblets, no release date sadly. Anno is still going, cyanide and happiness still exists? and they’re making a battle royale? lol okay. How was Hitman 2 not announced during Square Enix?? Anyways it’s here at the end, the trailer was amazing and it’s coming out this year.
I don’t have that much strong feelings because it’s just a normal conference and not a special one you know? But I’ll give it a 8/10 or 7/10 im not sure cuz I seem to like most games and I found Frankie cute.
Sony:
Yo usually Sony makes like a huuuuuuuge thing about their conferences (like this year they didn’t even showcase indie games) but this year they started from a church for the sake of immersion?? It reminded me a little of their first E3s during the 90s, and it almost felt like a indie gathering for musicians, I swear to god, Sony is borderline experimental trying to balance out their E3 across stages. Jeb played the banjo and people just ACCEPTED it... AND THEN someone played some JAPANESE FLUTE? aRT. It might come off as a bit arrogant for some tho.
Nerds hated it and thought it was bizzare, which is why it means it’s good. HAPPY PRIDE MONTH BITCHES. Anyways could have been a little more fast-paced... But then again when it was fast-paced it was just like: Huh? What was that? I’m a big Resident Evil Fangirl, RE2 was my childhood but ignoring that for a sec: finally, Death Stranding gameplay, remins me of shadow of the colossus but post-apocalpytic, survival horrorish and abstract sci-fi.
Kind of feels more Metal Gear than MGSV did already Cuz Norman Reedus sounds like snake a lot more than the 24 hours guy, and because from what I’ve seen in the footage, someone acts like Otacon to “Sam”. I think most now can figure out the plotpoints of this game with what has been established. I might be a bit sad at the fact that this will be a PS4 exclusive just like Metal Gear Solid 4, which I still haven’t played fully because it’s PS3 exclusive and I only have a gaming PC.
Also this E3 was surprisingly entirely SINGLE PLAYER, I sorta don’t believe in the “single player doesn’t exist” myth honestly, especially now. I’m not sure if that makes Sony’s E3 better or worse, maybe it needed more variation, like I’ve commented, usually they have an indie showcase which this year did not. There were few games shown but for what it was worth, it’s still interesting... But yeah just 5 games? No Spyro? (easy picking), nothing extra? I can understand why many people felt this E3 was upsetting.
8/10.
Nintendo
Here it is, the most overhyped developer of all of E3, the source of “Nintendo wins E3 by doing nothing” memes because Nintendo fans really don’t care about anything except Nintendo and then act surprised when they only care about Nintendo when they try to be a little more open-minded (and fail) even if other E3s probably make more games built to last in comparisson, cuz we gay people only care about NINTENDO YOU KNOW? Shade asside...
I was pleasantly surprised this E3, it wasn’t just a series of okay at best releases, a strong 9/10.
tHAT WAS WHAT I WROTE IN PREPRATION....
BUT THEN???? IT WAS JUST THAT??? NO PRIME 4 NO ANYTHING LIKE JUST 3 GAMES BASICALLY? (maybe there was 5 games but eh) I mean smash is good.. It’s pretty much just an update of the last smash, every character is REALLY FUCKING GOOD BUT.... JUST THAT? jeez.. Like, the only stuff I wanted from it was Mario Party and Smash... Okay maybe that 1 Mecha game. Also I guess fornite is now on Switch but I can play that anywhere else really.
I guess a 7/10 is all I can give to just Smash, if there was a little more I’d give it a 9/10 for sure but... ehh Just Smash? jeez, fuck... i MEAN I kind of get it, Nintendo doesn’t do “e3″ normally, they usually do 1 big game at E3 and then wait a couple of months to do that little seasonal announcement thing they do across the year, ugh.. Okay. Yeah I guess i shouldn’t have expected much. Still isn’t it weird that Miyamoto was in Ubisoft’s E3 but not this one??? what!
Anyways
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Milan 2 Roma 1
Here we go....
DONNARUMMA 8 as captain was only a matter of time. It looks right and feels right. Was there when he had to be, especially late on. A couple of point blank saves.
CALABRIA 7.5 was on point all night long. I really thought this might be the game for a long range banger. He made some nice runs going forward and did well to cut out most attacks down his side before they started. Case in point: the steal and hockey assist that led to Rebic’s goal.
KJAER 7 is STILL DANISH FOR WALL!
TOMORI 8
Dude....
That sliding block on Pellegrini?
Chasing down Veretout like a dog?
2 near goals off set pieces?
Get outta here with that.... ok come here and gimme a hug!
THEO 7.5 was good Theo. He stayed home more which mean the shape was solid. Could very well have had a pair of assists if we could finish. Oh and that free kick that dropped right on Tomori’s foot at the back post? Tasty.
That solid shape meant that KESSIE 7 did NOT have to cover at LB. Instead he was able to play his favored DM role most of the night. After looking tired/conserving energy over midweek against Red Star the Tank was back on the battlefield.
That TONALI 8 block on Pellegrini? Come on man. You know you liked it. You also see him turning the corner, just like Bennacer did right around this time last year. Him ‘orbiting’ around Kessie had a very familiar look to it. Like an Imperial Crusier orbiting the Death Star.
When we maintain our shape SAELEMAEKERS 7 can do what he does, which is a little bit of everything. Today it was dipping centrally and making some nifty passes. Unfortunate not to score after a point blank save from Lopez.
I would say he was FOTM but I’m honestly not sure HAKAN 5 played. Otherwise this would just say ‘he played’.
REBIC 8.5 you mad bastard. I was wondering whether I would ever hear that Jaws music run through my head again when he got the ball. Goal was beautifully taken. Could have had a couple dimes as well if we could finish.
IBRA 5was the FOTM. Could have had 2 goals 20 minutes if maybe he could beat the FRIGGIN keeper 1 v1 and could just stay onside. But no. Big letdown from him today. Silver lining? I think he knew it. Come back strong big fella.
Subs
I talked myself back into DIAZ 0 after the last couple games. I was wrong. Symbolic moment? He gets in the way of an 80 yard run by Theo and Theo just tosses him to the side. Between him and Hakan we were essentially playing with 10 men yesterday.
LEAO He played.
KRUNIC How about that chip, huh?
Standard CASTILLEJO performance. 10 minutes. Yellow card. At least 1 faked injury.
MEITE on for Tonali? Seriously?
Coach
Love that PIOLI had the stones to start Tomori. 10/10 there. Hated Brahim for Hakan. Would have rather seen Leao or even Krunic. Then of course we saw both a few minutes later for Zlatan and then Rebic. Then Meite for Tonali?
If you looked down the middle we finished the game with Leao, Diaz and Meite down the center of the park. Are you kidding me? No clue what he was thinking. It was 2-1 not 8-1. Having 5 subs is nice but you don’t HAVE to use them all.
RAMBLINGS
- Within 26 minutes we had the Tomori offside goal, Ibra failing to beat the keeper, Ibra drifting offside, Kjaer off the crossbar and at least 3 other shots that Lopez parried in self defense.
Love that start and all but you gotta finish at least SOME of those chances.
- Loved the non call on the Theo-Mkhitaryan double flop. That reminded me of walking into a room only to find a bowl of chips dumped on the floor and both kids blaming each other. I’m not sure the yellow was deserved but giving us a free kick coming out was definitely the way to go.
- Interesting we didn’t see or hear much about Romagnoli once the game started. No shots of him in stands pouting or longingly watching the game. I couldn’t even find a picture this morning. Weird.
- Up 6 points now on the 4th spot with 14 to play.
- Next 2 weeks akin to back to back trips to the dentist: home to Udinese and away to Verona.
RANDOM THOUGHT
Consider these couple things.
Our 2 attacking mids our out of contract this summer. Diaz is on a loan deal from Real Madrid and Hakan is out of contract at the end of June.
You could argue right now that when you list our top 11 players that all 3 of Kessie, Bennacer and Tonali are on that list.
Is 433 in our future?
FORZA!
Lisi
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✨Sunday Movie Review✨
Movie of the evening: The Ring (Directed by Gore Verbinski)
I saw The Ring for the first time a couple years back, after just starting to watch horror. I had high hopes, I wanted the adrenaline constantly going, I wanted to jump out of my seat a few times.
But that simply didn’t happen.
Perhaps I’m one of those people who doesn’t scare easily, which would be a bummer since I tend to be a bit of an adrenaline junky at times.
The plot had so much potential, but perhaps given the technology they had access to in 2002, it wasn’t able to reach it.
The plot was a wonderful idea, and could most likely work to scare a few people, I know I was certainly very into the story, whether I was scared or startled or not.
Another thing I would like to cover about the movie is the choice of color scheme. The dull blues, greens and greys certainly set the atmosphere, and I don’t recall seeing a movie do so as well as The Ring. There is a solid color scheme all the way through, it gives a sense of consistency in a way.
Despite lacking the scare factor I had originally hoped for with the movie, the plot was there and the visuals (specifically the color scheme) were well thought out. Perhaps with the technology of today’s industry, it would have had more of the scare factor I was looking for.
Plot: 8/10
Visuals: 8.5/10
Scare factor: 2/10
I can understand how people could argue this is more along the lines of psychological horror instead, and I can agree with said statement.
With that said, I do recommend you watch the movie, as I said previously, the visuals are amazing. I am in love with the color scheme.
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The amount of times I give a film a 7.5 or 8.5 rating annoys me because I never know what to put on IMDb. Like a 7 for me only implies it was alright while an 8 is a solid recommendation, but sometimes there’s a middle ground.
I just saw Shape of Water today. Really enjoyed it, 8.5/10. But I’ve been riding that line between 8 and 9 on imdb. The Greatest Showman is an 8, it’s better than that movie. But Hellboy II is a 9, it’s not as good as that one.
Does any of this matter? No. Are these mindless ramblings? Yes. Why do I care? No idea.
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By Michael Lanza
We step into the ankle-deep North Fork of the Virgin River, in the backcountry of Zion National Park, and water at refrigerator temperature immediately fills our boots. Until sometime tomorrow afternoon, we’ll walk in this river almost constantly, crossing it dozens of times—with the 50° F water, at its deepest, coming up nearly to our waists. As we splash downstream, the canyon walls of golden, crimson, and cream-colored sandstone steadily creep inward and stretch higher, soon eclipsing the sun. We’ll see very little direct sunlight as the sheer walls of Zion’s Narrows eventually tower a thousand feet overhead and, at times, close in to the width of a hobbit’s living room.
Drinking in the scenery, I’m feeling a surreal sense of luck just to be in this place, considering that, for various reasons, it has taken my friend David Gordon and I a few decades to finally get here—and the fact that it’s sunny and warm in November as we set out on one of the most uniquely beautiful and sought-after backpacking trips in the entire National Park System.
The Narrows is the roughly 14 miles of the North Fork’s canyon upstream from where the road in Zion Canyon ends at the Temple of Sinawava. Enormously popular, the lower end of the Narrows teems with hundreds and sometimes thousands of dayhikers on hot days of late spring and summer, when the river is warm and low. Many of those people don’t go beyond the first mile or two of the Narrows, while some hike as far as Big Spring, five miles upriver, the farthest point you’re allowed to venture without a wilderness permit.
Backpacking the Narrows from top to bottom—16 miles from the Chamberlain’s Ranch trailhead to the Temple of Sinawava trailhead—requires a permit that’s very hard to get, whether you try to reserve a campsite in advance (they get scooped up as soon as they become available) or try to get a permit on a walk-in basis no more than a day in advance of starting the two-day trip.
Click here now to get my e-guide The Complete Guide to Backpacking Zion’s Narrows.
David Gordon on day one backpacking the Narrows, Zion National Park.
But there’s one other way of snagging a permit—perhaps the easiest, given the towering hurdles of the other two methods, though it does involve pure luck. The park holds a Last Minute Drawing for unreserved campsites between seven and two days prior to the date you’d like to start. (See Permit info in the Make It Happen section at the bottom of this story.) When I saw an unusually warm, sunny forecast for the first week of November—not a high-demand time for Zion permits—I grabbed two of the most-coveted wilderness permits in the National Park System through the Last Minute Drawing: backpacking the Narrows top to bottom, and dayhiking Zion’s Subway top to bottom. (Read my story “Luck of the Draw, Part 1: Hiking Zion’s Subway.”)
David and I have both had backpacking Zion’s Narrows in our sights literally for decades. But for various reasons—including the short season and stiff competition for permits for both—it has taken us this long to get to them. Now, thanks to watching the forecast, good timing, flexibility in our schedules, and sheer luck, we are spending three straight November days of temperatures in the 60s knocking off two of the best hikes in America—the Subway and the Narrows—and seeing relatively few people, a situation unheard-of during the peak seasons.
After the Narrows, hike the other nine of my “10 Best Backpacking Trips in the Southwest.”
Hi, I’m Michael Lanza, creator of The Big Outside, which has made several top outdoors blog lists. Click here to sign up for my FREE email newsletter. Join The Big Outside to get full access to all of my blog’s stories. Click here to learn how I can help you plan your next trip. Please follow my adventures on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and Youtube.
The Narrows Day One
By mid-afternoon, a few hours into the hike, the only evidence of sunshine that we see is where it sets fire to the upper canyon walls, a few hundred feet above us. Down in the canyon’s basement, we walk in the shadows of a premature, extended dusk.
Here in the upper Narrows, several miles above its confluence with Deep Creek, which triples the river’s volume, the North Fork of the Virgin River meanders through adolescence, a skinny but energetic stream—at least during times of low water levels, which is when park officials open the Narrows to hikers. (See the Make It Happen section at the bottom of this story for details about safe river levels for hiking.) We’re still above the true “narrows” stretch of the canyon; pine trees grow sparsely along the river, like thin hair on an old man’s head, and the rims wear a green crown.
Day one in the upper Narrows, Zion National Park.
Black water streaks bleed down blood-red walls smeared with spilled-paint splotches of white rock. At sharp riverbends, where flash floods and high water have done the destructive work of erosion, cliffs crest overhead in petrified waves.
Our canyoneering boots and neoprene socks do not keep our feet warm so much as prevent them from getting painfully cold; I wouldn’t do this hike without them, except perhaps in really hot weather. We’re also carrying dry suits in our packs for the deeper water we’ll encounter later today and tomorrow. Here, we don’t need them yet for water that rarely tops our ankles. (See details on gear at the bottom of this story.)
Eons of geological uplift and the erosional force of the river carving into the Navajo Sandstone created the Narrows. Floods continue that eternal work. The Narrows and many other similarly tight canyons can transform from placid to deadly in a span of minutes—which is why you should avoid them if there’s any chance of rain. A flash flood in 1998 abruptly raised the Virgin River’s volume from 200 to 4,500 CFS (cubic feet per second), acting like a giant, high-speed plow coursing downstream, damaging the park road in Zion Canyon. On Sept. 15, 2015, seven people descending a slot known as Keyhole Canyon were killed in a flash flood in the worst disaster in the history of Zion National Park.
By late afternoon, we reach the beginning of the true “narrows” section. The walls pinch down to 15 to 20 feet apart and shoot up several hundred feet. For the rest of this day, we’ll wade water that comes up to our calves—and briefly higher—through a dark, cool, and church-quiet hallway in solid rock, with only a sliver of sky visible high above us.
We hear the North Fork Falls well before we see it. At 8.5 miles from the trailhead, the river pours thunderously over a 10-foot-tall, boulder-and-log jam. To bypass it, we squeeze through a claustrophobic passage on the south side of the waterfall, between a massive boulder and the canyon wall, and then wade a short distance back upstream to see the waterfall.
I can help you plan this or any other trip you read about at my blog. Find out more here.
David Gordon on day one backpacking Zion’s Narrows.
Minutes beyond the North Fork Falls, we clamber over a log pinned between the close walls and lower ourselves into the deepest pool of the day. The numbing water rises crotch-deep on me; I wade across it as quickly as I can propel myself forward into shallower water. Around the corner, we reach our home for the night, campsite one, the first of a dozen designated campsites in the Narrows. (This campsite made my top 25 all-time favorite backcountry campsites, and I grouped the 11 other sites in the Narrows together as one on my list of the 15 nicest backcountry campsites I’ve hiked past.)
Our camp sits on a slightly elevated patch of dry ground, on one side of a cavernous opening where a tributary canyon joins the North Fork. Within an hour, by 6 p.m., it’s completely dark. With no moon out yet, stars riddle the Y-shaped slice of sky visible to us above this confluence of two canyons.
After dark, a mouse skitters around our site, obviously accustomed to pilfering food from backpackers. As David sits on a log enjoying the quiet and the stars, he feels the mouse crawling up his pant leg and kicks it off. With the forecast for clear weather, we didn’t bring a tent; we lay our pads and bags on the comfortable bed of soft, dry sand. But a few times during the night, I feel the mouse crawling up the outside of my bag and kick a leg out to send it airborne.
See my “10 Tips For Getting a Hard-to-Get National Park Backcountry Permit.”
The Narrows Day Two
In the morning, we awaken to a clear sky—what we can see of it, anyway. At the bottom of this deep hole, beneath close walls that dwarf skyscrapers, we remain in deep shadow. A breeze blowing down canyon sharpens the knife-like chill in the air, as the temperature sits in the high 30s Fahrenheit. The forecast had called for lows in the 20s, so we’re lucky on that count. But “lucky” isn’t the word I mutter while tugging my wet, stiff, half-frozen neoprene socks and boots on over my feet and taking my shocking first steps back into the 50-degree river.
Before long, though, the air temperature starts rising and our feet warm up as blood finally seeps back into them—even as we’re constantly crossing the ankle- to calf-deep river. I shed two of the three shirts I’m wearing and my wind shell, and roll the top of my dry suit down to my waist, thinking: It’s November, and I’m hiking in shirtsleeves.
Want to take this trip? Click here now to get my e-guide The Complete Guide to Backpacking Zion’s Narrows.
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Low-angle sunlight gradually infiltrates the canyon. Some walls catch indirect light reflecting off other walls, making them appear to glow. At every turn, the cliffs display a different face, a complex mosaic of curves, cracks, columns, pinnacles, and buttresses in a rich geological color palette. Mature trees lend the green of conifers and, at this time of year, the yellow of cottonwood trees.
High above us, the wind blows clouds of dust off ledges, and the sun backlighting the tiny dust particles makes them sparkle as they float earthward. “Pixie dust,” I tell David. Moments later, a gust hurls leaves off the rims hundreds of feet overhead, creating an identical effect, the leaves twinkling in the sunlight as they float downward.
An hour out of camp, below campsite four, we see the first people we’ve encountered since we started hiking from Chamberlain’s Ranch yesterday—two backpackers who remain ahead of us and mostly out of sight.
. . .
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cxciii.
1: 6 of the songs you listen to most?
>> I’m not sure. I’ll name six songs I listen to a lot, at any rate: Black Out Days, Phantograms; Emperor’s New Clothes, Panic at the Disco; Power, Kanye West; Noll, kent; Some Time Ago..., Dethklok; No Resurrection, AFI.
2: If you could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be?
>> Oh, I don’t know. Stephen King, maybe. But without the opportunity of long conversations with a couple six packs while sitting in rocking chairs by a river, I don’t see why I would bother.
3: Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 23, give me line 17.
>> “Mrs Massey’s real. She leaves pieces of herself. You saw them. So did Mom... and she doesn’t shine.” - Doctor Sleep
4: What do you think about most?
>> I don’t think any subject is most prominent.
5: What does your latest text message from someone else say?
>> It was the new router password.
6: Do you sleep with or without clothes on?
>> I usually sleep with some garment or another on. The type of clothing varies with season.
7: What’s your strangest talent?
>> None of my skills are strange in my perspective.
8: Girls… (finish the sentence); Boys… (finish the sentence)
>> Girls just wanna have fun. [The] boys are back in town.
9: Ever had a poem or song written about you?
>> I’ve had a poem written about me.
10: When is the last time you played the air guitar?
>> I usually play air drums.
11: Do you have any strange phobias?
>> No.
12: Ever stuck a foreign object up your nose?
>> No.
13: What’s your religion?
>> I don’t have a religion, because I’m an avowed syncretist (not to mention technically atheist, although it’s not that I don’t ‘believe in God’ so much as that I have an indefinable and constantly shifting concept of the numinous).
14: If you are outside, what are you most likely doing?
>> Walking, smoking, looking at stars, getting some fresh air, exploring, being nosy, who knows.
15: Do you prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it?
>> In front of it.
16: Simple but extremely complex. Favorite band?
>> I don’t have one single favourite band. I lost interest in trying.
17: What was the last lie you told?
>> I don’t remember.
18: Do you believe in karma?
>> I think the original concept of karma is interesting, and the veracity of it doesn’t really matter much to me either way.
19: What does your URL mean?
>> It’s a play on “Lost Carcosa”, although its personal meaning is a little beyond that by now.
20: What is your greatest weakness; your greatest strength?
>> Curiosity. (Yes, it fits both.)
21: Who is your celebrity crush?
>> Idris Elba, Matthew McConaughey, Aisha Hinds, Gillian Anderson, David Duchovny, that guy who played Billy on Sirens, that guy with the great smile who hosts Celebrity Ninja Warrior...
22: Have you ever gone skinny dipping?
>> No.
23: How do you vent your anger?
>> I prefer not to vent it. It runs its course much easier when I simply don’t give it any attention, negative or positive.
24: Do you have a collection of anything?
>> No. I don’t grok collecting.
25: Do you prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online?
>> I prefer video chatting if I must choose between the two.
26: Are you happy with the person you’ve become?
>> I am happy with constantly becoming.
27: What’s a sound you hate; sound you love?
>> A sound I hate is people sniffling, especially if they do it constantly; a sound I love is the distant roar of traffic on a clear summer night.
28: What’s your biggest “what if”?
>> Not sure.
29: Do you believe in ghosts? How about aliens?
>> I don’t believe in ghosts personally, but I do believe in extraterrestrial life. I think aliens just interest me more than ghosts.
30: Stick your right arm out; what do you touch first? Do the same with your left arm.
>> A beer bottle. A counter.
31: Smell the air. What do you smell?
>> Nothing specific.
32: What’s the worst place you have ever been to?
>> I don’t know.
33: Choose: East Coast or West Coast?
>> I’m not familiar enough with both coasts to have an actual opinion.
34: Most attractive singer of your opposite gender?
>> ---
35: To you, what is the meaning of life?
>> The meaning of my life is constant change and constant curiosity.
36: Define Art.
>> The meaning of art for me is whatever excites my senses and invites an emotional response.
37: Do you believe in luck?
>> I believe in synchronicity, and I think luck falls into that jurisdiction.
38: What’s the weather like right now?
>> Sunny and warm.
39: What time is it?
>> 5.58p EST.
40: Do you drive? If so, have you ever crashed?
>> No.
41: What was the last book you read?
>> The Power of Myth, Joseph Campbell and Bill Moyers. Finally finished it.
42: Do you like the smell of gasoline?
>> Yes, quite. Not in abundance, though, or for long periods of time.
43: Do you have any nicknames?
>> Dio, Rev, Eddie.
44: What was the last film you saw?
>> The Thing (the 2011 remake).
45: What’s the worst injury you’ve ever had?
>> A facial laceration.
46: Have you ever caught a butterfly?
>> Nope.
47: Do you have any obsessions right now?
>> My current active special interests are comparative mythology, the Dark Tower, eldritch stories and concepts, theology and mysticism, social evolution, and supermassive black holes. (I’m watching a show about that last one right now.)
48: What’s your sexual orientation?
>> I like dicks and I prefer them to be nonhuman. (I don’t have a solid sexual orientation. The only)
49: Ever had a rumour spread about you?
>> Not that I recall or know of.
50: Do you believe in magic?
>> I suppose I do, don’t I.
51: Do you tend to hold grudges against people who have done you wrong?
>> No. Grudges don’t interest me in the slightest.
52: What is your astrological sign?
>> Gemini Sun (and Moon, and Mercury); Scorpio Rising.
53: Do you save money or spend it?
>> I spend it when I can and save some when it’s possible.
54: What’s the last thing you purchased?
>> Netflix’s monthly payment date was today.
55: Love or lust?
>> Both are delightful.
56: In a relationship?
>> Am I in one? Yes.
57: How many relationships have you had?
>> Enough to know I’m not done having them.
58: Can you touch your nose with your tongue?
>> Nope.
59: Where were you yesterday?
>> At home.
60: Is there anything pink within 10 feet of you?
>> Sparrow’s mouse and phone case are both mostly pink.
61: Are you wearing socks right now?
>> Yes.
62: What’s your favourite animal?
>> Snakes, spiders, capybara, otters... dogs...
63: What is your secret weapon to get someone to like you?
>> I don’t use any special weapons to get someone to like me. I want someone’s appreciation of me to be organic-- based upon a perception of me that’s as untainted by my influence as possible.
64: Where is your best friend?
>> In Xibalba, my ‘headspace’.
65: Give me your top 5 favourite blogs on Tumblr.
>> I’ll name five random blogs I love looking at for various reasons: arashi-of-ota, thisherelight, ruth-threadgoode, arielshepard, and elfyourmother.
66: What is your heritage?
>> My father is Black American and Native, to his understanding; my mother is Haitian.
67: What were you doing last night at 12AM?
>> I was probably on tumblr.
68: What do you think is Satan’s last name?
>> Why would Satan need a surname?
69: Be honest. Ever gotten yourself off?
>> Of course?
70: Are you the kind of friend you would want to have as a friend?
>> Yes.
71: You are walking down the street on your way to work. There is a dog drowning in the canal on the side of the street. Your boss has told you if you are late one more time you get fired. What do you do?
>> That depends on how confident I am that losing that job won’t be a huge loss. And honestly, a job has never been of utmost importance to me, so I’d probably end up saving the dog in any case. Or at least finding someone that can, if the canal is too treacherous for my non-swimming ass.
72: You are at the doctor’s office and she has just informed you that you have approximately one month to live. a) Do you tell anyone/everyone you are going to die? b) What do you do with your remaining days? c) Would you be afraid?
>> In a case of terminal illness, I’d tell the people in my social circle and then try to come to terms with it in whatever way suits who I am at that time. And yes, I’d definitely be afraid. Hopefully, by that time, the fear would be less of an issue. Hopefully, O’Dim and I will be closer friends by then.
73: You can only have one of these things; trust or love.
>> This is such an unimaginative idea.
74: What’s a song that always makes you happy when you hear it?
>> Seven Years in Tibet by David Bowie has a pretty good track record for this.
75: What are the last four digits in your cell phone number?
>> 6463.
76: In your opinion, what makes a great relationship?
>> That depends on the people involved, not my opinion. What makes my current relationship effective is communication, investment, and compassion.
77: How can I win your heart?
>> It’s not a prize. You don’t win it, you cultivate it, encourage it, inspire it.
78: Can insanity bring on more creativity?
>> In my experience, my creativity is a direct result of my insanity. However, that doesn’t seem to work in every case, so don’t necessarily expect it to.
79: What is the single best decision you have made in your life so far?
>> It’s an interconnected set of decisions, both mine and others’, that create a life. No single decision is responsible for how my life is.
80: What size shoes do you wear?
>> 8.5, I think.
81: What would you want to be written on your tombstone?
>> I don’t care. Whatever would please those left behind, I suppose.
82: What is your favourite word?
>> I have way too many favourite words.
83: Give me the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the word; heart.
>> I imagined an anatomically realistic heart.
84: What is a saying you say a lot?
>> “son of a whore”
85: What’s the last song you listened to?
>> I don’t remember.
86: Basic question; what’s your favourite colour/colours?
>> I don’t have favourite colours.
87: What is your current desktop picture?
>> It’s a slideshow. Right now, it’s a still from Interstellar.
88: If you could press a button and make anyone in the world instantaneously explode, who would it be?
>> No thanks.
89: What would be a question you’d be afraid to tell the truth on?
>> I don’t know.
90: One night you wake up because you heard a noise. You turn on the light to find that you are surrounded by MUMMIES. The mummies aren’t really doing anything, they’re just standing around your bed. What do you do?
>> Stare at them for a while, trying to figure out how to proceed.
91: You accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow you with the super-power of your choice! What is that power?
>> The ability to manipulate organic and inorganic matter without limit.
92: You can re-live any point of time in your life. The time-span can only be a half-hour, though. What half-hour of your past would you like to experience again?
>> No, thanks.
93: You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be?
>> Why would I need this.
94: You have the opportunity to sleep with the music-celebrity of your choice. Who would it be?
>> One who’s clean, good in bed, and nice to look at.
95: You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere. You have to depart right now. Where are you gonna go?
>> Meh.
96: Do you have any relatives in jail?
>> Not to my knowledge.
97: Have you ever thrown up in the car?
>> Nope.
98: Ever been on a plane?
>> Quite a few times, yes.
99: If the whole world were listening to you right now, what would you say?
>> “Whaddup, y’all...?”
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a 2016 in review post !
i’ve got a TON of resolutions for 2017, so i’ll start there:
hit 10 miles/hr at the gym (i hit 8.5 today!!)
keep in touch better with my friends/family
less cynicism and self-deprecation; be more mindful of what i’m good at (lmao)
say yes more; be more open to new experiences
write more letters
read 50 books (i’ve got two down already!!)
practice better self-care (moisturize)
write something original
maybe fall in love with something again (maybe)
looking back is a lot easier if i look at what i’d like to be different going forward, i think.
last year started with me leaving texas to move to california, which if i’m being painfully honest i think i knew was a mistake from the get-go. but i didn’t really know what else to do, and it’s always been IMPOSSIBLY FUCKIN HARD for me to refuse someone when they ask me to do something. it’s so much easier to be what people want you to be than you who are. i’m working on that.
BUT, i landed a job that i love with people that i love. it’s sort of funny now to look back and remember that i thought i didn’t like infants/toddlers now that i spend most of my days with them (and regularly tell them they’re my best friends).
it’s also been like? massively massively important and precious and dear to me to have improved as a teacher over the past year. i’ve come a long way from where i started and can now lead a classroom more or less with ease. i’ve always wanted to be that teacher that never seems to get overwhelmed or overly bothered, and i love being one that i think the kids are happy to see. at risk of not being self-deprecating, i’ve got little friends all over that school! and i love them so much.
on a similar note, i got two of the best coworkers i’ve ever had. two ladies old enough to be my grandma who now let me make my own decisions in the classroom and rely on my judgment next to theirs - that’s pretty fuckin cool. it means more than i can say to hear from someone who’s done this a long time that i have a gift. i’d very much like to believe that. i really, really want to be good at this.
and...i’ve lived with my family. my brother and i totally tore each other down, he moved away, and when he came back, i said ‘i missed you’ and he said ‘i love you’ and...things change. the last year saw me and my dad go toe to toe for the first time in my whole life and while what i said didn’t affect any actual change, i said exactly what i thought (at a volume i didn’t know i could reach lmao). the boogeyman shrank in front of me; he’s quite small now. it’s nice not to feel quite so powerless. my relationship with my sister’s a nonstop work in progress mainly because we’re so finely emotionally attuned to each other. if coming here has to have had a point i think the point might just be leaving again, which is difficult to do when i know she doesn’t want me to go. when she hurts me because i’m hurting her for going, and neither of us knows what to do.
it’s so much easier to be what people want you to be than you who are. i’m working on that.
as for 2017, i’d just like to be a stronger, more solid version of myself. i’ll have to actually leave (i’ve already looked at flights and job openings back in austin - AYEE), and deal with whatever fallout that’ll have. i’ll be on my own again, which is only half as intimidating as it is going to be a huge relief. i’ll have made it through this alive, which i didn’t know i could do again. you know, growing up - i thought maybe things weren’t quite as i remembered them, but if i let it, my dad would be terrible to me, and my sister hurts to be around, and i wasn’t wrong about that. (i don’t think i was ever wrong about my mother, either.)
so: more productive hobbies. i like running and i’d like to redouble my focus on the physical exertion aspect of it, and clearing my head and sweating my stress out, and not on my size. it’s impossible not to take up any space, and anyway, i’ve got to learn that i’m not a blight on the people around me. i’d like to learn that i fill my space well. doodle, blog, take photos; i hate bringing attention to myself and those kind of require it but...there are worse things. take up space. it’s not a bad watchword.
writing this year was weird as shit, but i’d like to love it again like i used to. for the endless possibilities, and not with any eye toward hits/kudos/reblogs. honestly? who cares. that’s part of why it’s so weird to look back at all the fic i wrote last year. don’t let me go has always seemed slightly off, though i’m still not sure why that is. i still think harry just outpaced me. still to be lost, things change, keepin’ on the light; those are my favorites because they’re all...maybe soft and intense, is what i mean. the world of the fic feels soft and gentle because the characters aren’t very soft to themselves. well-intentioned, though.
and then there’s stuff like don’t let me go and feels like home and wide open spaces that pulled a LOT from me - arguably too much - because i couldn’t seem to get the characters or the world to give me what i needed. i think i just don’t like those much bc i don’t like myself very much, lmao. or maybe it’s just i think fics shouldn’t draw from me that way. from the gut, and not from the heart, so to speak.
lastly there’s once and future things and to the end of the night, which are beyond a doubt two of the best things i’ve ever written. and deeply flawed! i’d like to have taken a week or a month and come back to them to edit them real good. and yet...i wrote oaft to see if i could do plot and, effectively, write my own original stuff. (i think i can.) i wanted to write to the end of the night to write a protagonist who was sort of peculiarly awful, and still relatable, still worth loving. i wonder if anybody noticed how much of me i put into that one?
and so...i hope 2017 will have more and better stories, more books, more art, more love, more time, more friends. i got two tattoos this year: flowers, and friendship, on my birthday, in ASL. if not for them i don’t know what i’d have done. you know, 2016 was really hugely shit - my home life has been, to put it lightly, unsatisfying, but for my friends.
i spent a solid half an hour in my car this morning parked in the driveway, having a good cry after a fight with my sister. i called my granny tonight and we talked for hours, and she said it’s alright to take care of myself and put myself first. good or bad, i’ve got people who love me. so [hagrid voice] what’s coming is coming, and we’ll meet it when it does. i’d like this year to be about being free.
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Phils’ Offensive Woes Return as Momentum Disappears in Loss to Padres
If you were hoping Charlie Manuel’s presence would magically provide a sustainable fix for the shortcomings of an underperforming lineup, well, I’ve got bad news for you.
The offense immediately heated up when Manuel joined the team in the dugout on Wednesday night as it batted a combined .337 and plated 26 runs over three games (8.67 runs per game).
That production and the good vibes have each quickly disappeared, however, as the Phillies reverted back to their familiar struggles at the plate over the final two games of a disappointing series loss to a Padres team that entered the weekend only 11-20 since the All-Star break.
The Phillies were blanked over the final six frames on Saturday night. They followed up that effort today by scoring only two runs on four hits. The lineup produced a combined .156 batting average in the back-to-back losses.
And just like that, their momentum is gone, although manager Gabe Kapler seemed pretty pleased with the team’s overall effort.
“Obviously, it’s frustrating to lose today’s baseball game,” Kapler said. “Really proud of the grind in the at-bats, saw 110 pitches off their starter, saw 27 pitches with three outs in the ninth inning.”
They did see quite a few pitches, particularly in the ninth against Padres closer Kirby Yates, but Phillies couldn’t do anything against a San Diego bullpen that began the day owners of the NL’s fifth-worst ERA, though they also had its second-best fWAR.
How exactly does that happen?
Padres relievers have the league’s second-highest K/9 (9.89) but also possess its second-worst BABIP. In other words, they’ve been unlucky.
That luck evened out in the final two games of this series as the Phillies produced only a single hit while failing to score in six innings against San Diego’s bullpen.
In the process, the Phillies wasted another solid performance from starting pitcher Jason Vargas, who was one out away from recording his third quality start in four appearances with the Phillies. He limited the Padres to only two earned runs over 5.2 IP and now has a 3.52 ERA since arriving in Philadelphia late last month.
Despite the Phillies’ offense reverting to the familiar lifeless iteration that we’ve too often seen prior to Manuel’s arrival last week, Adam Haseley worked his way back from an 0-2 count to draw a crucial two-out walk in the sixth inning. Jean Segura followed with his second double of the game to score Haseley with the tying run, and it appeared the Phillies might yet still find a way to scrape together a win.
That thought would be short-lived, however, as recently-acquired reliever Jared Hughes gave up a go-ahead solo home run to San Diego’s Austin Hedges, who also had a career-high four hits, on this 0-2 curveball:
Austin Hedges homers (9) on a line drive to left off Jared Hughes
Exit Velocity 102 MPH
Distance 388 FT
Launch Angle 20.06#FriarFaithful vs #RingTheBell pic.twitter.com/EgNLR0T6Be
— Strand Sport Stats (@StrandStats) August 18, 2019
Like it has for many Phillies pitchers in 2019, the home run continues to be problematic for Hughes, who had been excellent in recent seasons at keeping the ball in the yard. Here’s his HR/9 over the last three seasons:
2017: 0.6
2018: 0.5
2019: 1.2
Interestingly, Hughes entered today’s game throwing his curveball on only 8.5% of his total pitches this season. Opponents were 0 for 10 with 5 Ks against it prior to Hedges’ home run. So there’s that.
Harper Exits With Dehydration
Bryce Harper left today’s game in the sixth inning after experiencing symptoms of dehydration. After the game, Kapler provided an update on Harper.
“Bryce was experiencing some blurred vision, and we weren’t sure what was going on with him, so we took the most precautionary measure we could and got him out of that baseball game,” he said. “Turns out he was dehydrated, he got an IV, and we were able to clear the symptoms, at least for the time being.”
Harper spoke to reporters after the game, but I didn’t feel like transcribing my recording, so here’s part of his comments:
Bryce Harper said he feels fine after the game still has a little headache but he’s OK after suffering from dehydration. And even with the #Phillies losing two of three to San Diego he still trying to have a positive outlook on rest of season. pic.twitter.com/OiwaNjj3BX
— Howard Eskin (@howardeskin) August 18, 2019
Thanks, Howard.
Anyway, it doesn’t seem like anybody is overly concerned.
Hoskins’ Miserable Stretch Continues
What in the world is going on with Rhys Hoskins?
In his first 102 games this season, Hoskins hit .263 with a .922 OPS, but after an 0 for 4 afternoon Sunday, he remains in the midst of a brutal 8 for 73 stretch that has seen his average and OPS plummet to .237 and .854, respectively.
Despite the ugly numbers, Kapler remains confident that Hoskins is on the verge of breaking out.
“I thought Rhys’ at-bats were great today, and I’m feeling pretty protective of him right now because I know how hard he’s working,” he said. “I know how much effort and time he’s putting in, and I think the at-bat quality remains strong even though at the end the results aren’t there. And I know how disappointed he is in it, and I’m disappointed for him because I know this is going to turn around for him.”
In the eighth inning, Hoskins did drive a 3-1 pitch to the center field fence that fell a foot short of tying the game. According to MLB’s Statcast, the swing produced a .520 xBA (expected batting average). It’s been that kind of stretch for Hoskins in recent weeks.
Here’s what he had to say about his prolonged slump:
I feel great. Obviously, it sucks to not contribute and not produce, but swing-wise I feel great. I feel like for the most part I’m seeing pitches. I’m seeing the ball fine, just for whatever reason, things are a little off. The last couple weeks when I do click something, it’s right at somebody, so that’s baseball. Unfortunately, I know it’s really cliche. I wish I had a different answer. I’ve sat for hours and hours and looked at film trying to find something that I can go in the cage and take a thousand swings to fix, but at some point, you just gotta keep going up there and stuff will turn.
Segura Hustling
We will end on a positive note, I guess.
Segura has been criticized for a lack of hustle at times this season, but his heads-up base running stood out on what appeared to be a routine RBI single in the first inning. Segura’s hit left the bat with a 103 mph exit velocity, but he aggressively rounded the first base bag and took second when center fielder Manuel Margot fielded the ball flat-footed.
It didn’t amount to an additional run, but with such little margin for error in a packed wild card race that’s filled with average teams, the Phillies need to take every inch they can get. Plays such as that one could end up being the difference. Maybe.
I don’t know, I’m trying here.
The post Phils’ Offensive Woes Return as Momentum Disappears in Loss to Padres appeared first on Crossing Broad.
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