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#I need to get good at school again lol
ishizizzle · 14 days
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I need to apply for scholarships more often! I hate that the main reason behind getting this job was to pay for classes but working for 8 months has gotten me no closer to my goal. In fact its taking my time for granted while barely paying me enough to afford weekly bills
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orcelito · 10 months
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hey since i have access to all my phone's photos much more easily, check out my old violin
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got it from my great uncle, who said it belonged to His grandpa. so we r looking at like 4 generations up here. he gave it to me in 2010 ish bc im the only person in the family that plays violin lol. & being in middle school, i named it Star :')
it still plays well, too! not my default for when i play bc i use my newer violin for that. but i still value her greatly
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pollen · 3 months
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hii it's been awhile since i've given any updates about what's going on with me but!!! i think we're moving back to oregon at some point. and i'm gonna make grad school happen. i'm so yhappy
#i'm going to oregon sometime this quarter but it's gonna break my heart because i have to leave again#idk the col is so much higher there than here. you can buy a whole three bedroom house for $200k here#a 3 bed in oregon is at least twice that#and rent is insane. $1100 for a beautiful 3 bed here. or twice that for something less nice in oregon#well. not HERE here jesus the suburbs are expensive. but in central pa where we're thinking of moving#which is like.... the best place to retire in the country? what's with that. low col probably LOL#and lately i've been feeling so..... lost? the ego death i went through in 2023 was incredible#and like. do i NEED to go to grad school to get a well-paying job in my field? no i have almost 7 yoe#but i'm missing feeling good at something. and the networking. and the portfolio work i can do. so it wouldn't be about employablility#though that helps. idk i'm gonna try to get my undergrad loans paid off as much as i can (only 30k left on the ones in my name 🫠) this year#while working on freelance projects and all that. it just feels good having a direction that doesn't feel completely hopeless#because it's been so bleak lately. like. got laid off from an agency i poured my soul into (not doing that again unless it's my own)#experienced something deeply personal and destabilizing i don't feel comfortable sharing#moved across the country while i didn't have a job and was processing that trauma to a place where i know no one#i got so lonely and so alone that i thought i would die. i didn't really have anyone to turn to while i did the work of reliving#started drinking a lot to cope bc i didn't have a medical card. was truly miserable. got a medical card. wasn't miserable anymore#and now i'm working and less anxious and feeling supported and stable in my relationship. and i feel myself coming back to myself.#it's been so hard but i'm so glad to be seeing the end of it. and to see good things and happy things in that
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a-motherfucking-beast · 4 months
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coach ur so cool but i hate exercising :(
SON. LET ME TELL YOU. THERE IS A CERTAIN THING ALL THE LANKY BINOS IN THEIR HAUGHTY-TAUGHTY UNIVERSITIES AGREE ON. AND THAT'S THAT THERE ARE *SOME* THINGS THAT ARE ESSENTIAL TO BEING A HUMAN. ART -- MUSIC, DANCE, VISUAL MEDIUMS. FRIENDSHIP, BROTHERHOOD. JOY AND SORROW. SHARING OF KNOWLEDGE. FAITH. LOVE. FOR SOMEONE ELSE, FOR THIS WORLD, FOR YOURSELF.
AND, LAST BUT NOT LEAST -- PHYSICAL ACTIVITY. FUCK YEAH
BE IT PLAYING TIGGY IN THE SCHOOLYARD OR BEING A PROFESSIONAL LINEBACKER PRETTY MUCH EVERYONE PLAYS A SPORT OR EVEN JUST WALKS SOMEWHERE AT SOME POINT IN THEIR LIFE. FOR GOOD REASON -- EXERCISE RELEASES ENDORPHINS AND DOPAMINE AND OTHER FEEL-GOOD SHIT IN YOUR BRAIN, BALLFACE, AND EVEN IF YOU DON'T CARE ABOUT ALL THE OTHER BENEFITS OF STAYING HEALTHY AND BEING ABSOLUTELY YOKED AND TAKING CARE OF YOUR BODY THAT SHOULD PROBABLY CONVINCE YOU TO TRY OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT
SON, I'M NOT GOING TO CONVINCE YOU TO TAKE UP BODYBUILDING OR ANY OTHER HEFTY COMMITMENT LIKE THAT. THAT WOULD BE FANTASTIC BUT EVEN I CAN RECOGNISE THAT IT'S NOT FOR EVERYONE. I CAN ONLY OFFER THIS ADVICE.
IF YOU HATE EXERCISING THEN THERE ARE ONLY SEVERAL (AT LEAST ONE) POSSIBILITIES WHY YOU DO.
A) YOU HAVEN'T FOUND THE RIGHT OUTLET. TRY OUT A NEW SPORT YOU HAVEN'T PLAYED BEFORE THAT YOU CAN PLAY AT YOUR LOCAL GYM. HARRY WAS THE FUCKING GOAT AT BEING A GYM TEACHER BUT NOT EVERY GYM TEACHER IS AS FANTASTIC AS HE WAS AND MAY NOT FACILITATE THE FULL EXPERIENCE OF PLAYING A SPORT SO MAYBE EVEN TRY PLAYING SOMETHING YOU THINK YOU DON'T LIKE. HELL, MAYBE TRY SOMETHING LIKE ACROBATIC ARTS, THAT SHIT NEEDS STRENGTH AS WELL. FUCKING BREAKDANCING. BECOME AN ANAL ACROBAT LMFAO. HELL, YOU DON'T NEED SOMETHING STRENUOUS -- EVEN IF YOU GO FOR A WALK IN YOUR LOCAL PARK EVERY MORNING WHEN THE SUN'S JUST RISING (THE VIEW AROUND THE LAKE IN THE MIDDLE OF JAMROCK IS BEAUTIFUL) OR DO SOME STRETCHES WHEN YOU WAKE UP THAT COUNTS FOR SOMETHING. DON'T LET ANYONE PUT YOU DOWN FOR DOING LESS THAN THEM.
B) YOU HAVEN'T GOT THE RIGHT PEOPLE SUPPORTING YOU. AGAIN, YOU ONLY WISH YOU COULD'VE HAD OUR HARRY AS YOUR TEACHER AND REFEREE, BUT IT ALSO COMES DOWN TO YOUR TEAMMATES, WHETHER THEY FACILITATE YOUR PRESENCE AND BUILD A SENSE OF CAMARADERIE WITH YOU. YOUR SPOTTER, WHO YOU PLACE ULTIMATE TRUST IN. YOUR FRIENDS AND FAMILY, THE PEOPLE YOU HOLD CLOSEST WHO YOU CAN SHARE YOUR ACCOMPLISHMENTS WITH. OR EVEN JUST THE PERSON DOING THEIR OWN THING NEXT TO YOU WHO MIGHT GIVE YOU A WORD OF ENCOURAGEMENT OR CONGRATULATE YOU WHEN YOU HIT A NEW PERSONAL RECORD. GOING TO A GYM CAN HELP WITH THIS WHEN YOU ALL HAVE A SHARED GOAL, BUT THERE'S PLENTY OF ELITISTS THERE WHO MIGHT SHIT ON YOU FOR BEING A NEWBIE OR NOT HAVING THE SAME CAPABILITIES AS THEM OR EVEN HARASSING YOU FOR YOUR IDENTITY. TUNE THEM OUT. THESE KINDS OF PEOPLE ARE PRESENT EVERYWHERE YOU GO AND YOU SHOULDN'T ALLOW THEM TO SULLY YOUR EXPERIENCES. OR ALSO YOU CAN DECK THEM IN THE FACE. PERSONALLY I'M LEANING TOWARDS THE SECOND ONE BUT IT'S YOUR CHOICE (DO THE SECOND ONE)
NOW THAT WE'VE GOT THAT STRAIGHT, I'LL TELL YOU RIGHT NOW -- ONLY DO SOMETHING YOU KNOW YOU'RE CAPABLE OF, AND SOMETHING YOU KNOW YOU CAN ENJOY. DON'T TURN THIS SHIT INTO A GODDAMN CHORE THAT LEAVES YOU SUFFERING EVERY TIME YOU DO IT, THAT'S NOT THE FUCKING POINT OF ANY OF IT. I DON'T KNOW YOUR PERSONAL SITUATION, NOT EVERYONE'S GOT THE MEANS OR THE TIME OR THE PHYSICAL CAPABILITIES. BUT CALISTHENICS DOESN'T TAKE ANY SPECIAL EQUIPMENT AND EVEN JUST SOME STRETCHES WHEN YOU GET UP WILL DO. GODDAMMIT, COACH *WILL* FIND SOMETHING THAT WORKS FOR YOU, BOY
ANYWAYS DAMN RIGHT I'M FUCKING COOL DON'T YOU FORGET THAT
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mossflower · 7 months
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stares at my bio
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cowboy-robooty · 1 year
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okay. calling all yandereheads. does anyone know any stories that has a yandere but like they have a sidekick (that doesnt really want to be their sidekick but is forced into it and decides to make the most of their situation and ends up acting like a silly friend to them) and at first they hate their sidekick and want their ass dead but keep em around bc their sidekick helps them stalk their crush but then the story does a switcharoo where the yandere realizes sidekick is their #truelove and goes yandere for sidekick
#THIS CONCEPT HAS SO MUCH POTENTIAL IDK WHY NOBODY DOING IT#LIKE THIS WOULD WORK REALLY FUCKING WELL AS A COMEDY SLICE OF LIFE MANGA I KNOW IT (except in execution the yandere probs never falls in#love with sidekick 🙄)#BUT I NEED TO SEE IF ANYBODY HAS MADE THIS EXCEPT THEY GO ALL IN WITH THE YAOI#im sorry im asking because the demons are taking over again#since this trope has had a gorilla grip on my brain ever since my depressive episode got really bad that one time so i was on wattpad right?#and i was lookin at yandere x readers because i needed to feel middle school joy again but then i found one that was Unironically Good.#i kept reading it bc the yanderes name is the name of my fucking dead grandfather and i thought that was really funny and it was well#written but kinda shitty at the same time bc it wasnt aids to read but it was japanese setting that Was Very American#and (y/n) [that i named yosuke] is actually such a good charactee bc he doesnt give a fuck about anything hes like shang qinghua HES SO#LIKABLE AND FUNNY HES EATING SHIT EVERYDAY AND FEELS LIKE A COMIC RELIEF ITS SO GOOD#oh also for this fanfic i checked the authors acc and saw they had disappeared for months and i was like lol i guess they got hit by a car#and then i found out they actually did#but anyways yeah that fanfic is my enemy though bc its so good but still so fucking shameful and i refuse to get anybody into it#SO THATS WHY I NEED SOME MEDIA TO TAKE THAT PREMISE AND USE IT TO ITS FULL POTENTIAL AGAIN#BC SOMEONE HAS TO TOP THE FUCKING YANDERE X READER WATTPAD FANFICTION#PLEASE#AUWGJSJDKSKSKS THAT FUCKING FANFICCCCC...... So GOOD.... <-(demons are winning)
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adore-gregor · 1 month
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study smart not hard (altough both is best actually) this saying is so true
#my advice#but this saying is sooo true#i know some people at uni who study for exam so long and hard but then fail or just barely make it :(#like what are you doing? i don't mean this in a mean way but it doesn't have to be this difficult#i don't understand how some people can study for an exam for 2 weeks or even a month and still fail and i don't think they're stupid#or i don't see myself as particulary smart#but i guess they just waste their time a lot and i realized studying effective is so important#now everyone is a bit different and has to find what works best for them but there are certain techniques which are proven to work well#there is so much information on the internet on this look it up seriously#it made my life sm easier i never struggled in uni like i did in school and i get good grades#and if i ever struggled a bit it was because i started so late it was almost impossible to pass 😂#which is why to do both is still best 😂#but i actually always made it and i never failed an exam at uni (which i studied for)#(two i was fooled into to just try without studying bc it's easy lol)#i mean i shouldn't speak too soon but i already made it through some of the most difficult of my studies#ofc it depends on what you study how well this works but i'm speaking for myself#i once passed an exam with a B studying only 2 days as one of the best students while others studied 2 weeks#and got worse grades or failed#still studying only 2 days is stupidity don't do it 😅#so the techniques i find very helpful are ofc exam questions probably the best one#if there are none make your own#then blurting for which there are different ways but i like to just go over a topic and then write down everything i remember#then fill the gaps#quizlet is also great it's an app which allows you to create cards and then tests you in creative ways#videos can be helpful as well for summaries and using summaries in general is normally enough it saves you sm time#normally you don't actually need to know everything but you should be careful it's not a bad summary leaving out too much 😅#and i also like mindmaps bc i'm a very visual person#but all those tipps are mostly for remembering information so it doesn't work so well for other fields of study#well i hope this is somewhat helpful idk 🙈#oh and reading texts over and over again is the most useless in my opinion i don't remember much at all and it takes sm time
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there’s something so sacred about sharing what you love with others: whether it be a song or food or clothes, a show or a movie or pictures. it's just... such a deep and personal thing, you know? having someone carve out a little part of their heart and gift it to you with an abundance of joy and excitement and passion... yeah.
#i lowkey had an awful day today lol#and it was my first day taking over as teacher so that's a great way to start it#there are people in seventh period who literally despise me and maybe that's an exaggeration but i looked over their creative writing for#the day and one of those kids literally wrote about how he was having a good day but then it turned into a bad day when i started the#creative writing with them so that was great and other stuff happened idk and one of my tics was really... uh... present today and i was so#aware of it and i feel like everyone was laughing at me because of it even tho ik that was just me being self-conscious but God i wanted to#cry and i shared a piece of my heart with them today for the creative writing exercise and so many of them just. told me how awful it was#like someone straight up started with 'this song is terrible' and then proceeded to write a paragraph about how bad it was#idk. it made me feel like a young kid again - sitting by myself on the playground and reading books. like i was in middle school and#everyone was telling me that the things that i loved were stupid. like i was a kid getting teased just lowkey enough that the teachers#couldn't tell because it wasn't necessarily outright bullying but they were making fun of what i loved which Hurts and then i was in high#school having to defend what i love and then in college hearing 'you ruined this for me because you liked it too much' and it just. idk.#it hurts. i find sharing passions and what i love with others so sacred and important and it Hurts when they just tear it and you down and#ik they're juniors and ik there will always be people like that but it was constant and idk. i'm just sad lol#so anyways even if someone shares something with you that you don't like there is literally No reason to be rude about it. you're allowed#to say you dislike it but it's not okay to just tell them straight up it's stupid or awful or you'd rather get hit by a car than hear the#song again. hm. ig i have some unresolved trauma lol#sorry for the rant y'all i just. needed to rant ig idk
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killstreak-kritzkrieg · 3 months
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i want to do something regarding my personal projects these two days off work
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bmpmp3 · 10 days
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I NEEED to go back to making art that makes it ABUNDANTLY clear that theres something wrong with my brain BUT NOT in a cool or stylishly interesting way. i need to do it in a way that makes people say "hm." and walk away
#sowwy ive been kinda going through it in my fine arts major rn can u tell HJKSDHKFd#ive been feeling like. scared. and paralyzed by marketability and branding.#i cant stop thinking about how other people will see my art. but not like in a good way#when i was younger i thought about it in a good way. like hee hee hoo hoo the act of looking connected us hee hee#but rn i keep thinking about it in like this wretched like consumer product mindset? ouhhghhhhh el problema es el capitalismo#and like maybe this works for some people. to think like this. to make art like this. its what my professors push me towards#not intentionally. they dont say it out loud at least. im not sure if they know or not some of the irony#my professors are nice and pretty smart and talented and i like em. but sometimes i wonder like. the push for us as students to make like#marketable 'avant garde'? stuff thats safe but pretending to be weird and out there#i dont mean to sound pretentious. in general i play it too safe myself (spent too much time as an edgy 10 year old with my#parents freaking out over my shoulder because they think the fact that i drew an anime character frowning means something serious LOL)#but i dunno man. my least interesting art with the least amount of care thought or effort always gets so much more attention in school#nowhere else oddly. online? people like my more passionate but seemingly frivolous art (oc art etc. not frivolous to me but yknow how it is#same with irl artists and other industry people outside my school. whats going on in my school LOL#i know from experience i cant push myself into a supposedly marketable brand. if i try to make something sell it will not.#i dont know why. maybe theres an invisible essence buyers can tell when i didnt care jkfsldjdfrds#but my teachers LOOOOVE the stuff i put no passion in its so bizarre orz but i gotta relearn how to ignore half of their advice#i used to be better at it. but i also only used to ignore like a quarter of their advice. maybe i need to amp up how much im ignoring#that sounds mean. they have plenty of good advice. but also plenty of advice thats clouded by their own biases#and i gotta relearn how to sort out this stuff again. i forget every few months for some reason#you know i always think ouuhhhhh i act so neurotypical ouhhhhhhhhh im outgoing i talk to strangers all the time i seem confident#im so masked IM SO MASKED but then i go a couple weeks where every conversation i have has people looking at me like#i have two heads and neither of them are speaking their language. and then i descend into madness like this HJKLDSHJDS#i'll be fine i'll figure it out. i need to stop trying to get a good grade in being a 'cutting edge' conventional artist <3#i need to just. draw my cartoon characters in peace 😔😔😔
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syncrovoid-presents · 9 months
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I will continue being gone for a few days, sadly my original al plan of releasing the newest chapter of The Consequence Of Imagination's Fear has also been delayed. My apologies
Can't go into detail because its hush hush not-legally-mentionable stuff but today is my fifth 12 hour no-break work day. I'm also packing to move too in a fortnight (which is a Big Yahoo!! Yippee!! I'll finally have access to a kitchen!! And no more mold others keep growing!!! So exciting!!!)
#syncrovoid.txt#delete later#OKAY SO! this makes it sound like i have a super important job but really we are understaffed and ive barely worked there a year now#graduated college a few years early 'cause i finished high school early (kinda? it's complicated)#now i am in a position where i am in the role of a whole Quality Assurance team (testing and write ups)#a Task Manager/Planner#Software Developer and maybe engineer? not sure the differences. lots of planning and programming and debugging ect ect#plus managing the coworker that messed up and doing his stuff because it just isnt good enough. which i WILL put in my end day notes#our team is like 4 people lol. we severely need more because rhe art department has like 10 people??#crunch time is.. so rough..#its weirdddddd thinking about this job since its like i did a speedrun into a high expectations job BUT in my defense i was hired before#i graduated. and like SURE my graduating class had literally 3 people so like there was a 86%-ish drop out rate??#did a four year course in 2 BY ACCIDENT!! i picked it on a whim. but haha i was picked to give advice and a breakdown on the course so it#could be reworked into a 3 year course (with teachers that dont tell you to learn everything yourself) so that was neat#im rambling again but i have silly little guy privileges and a whole lot of thoughts haha#anywho i am SO hyped to move!! I'll finally get away from the creepy guy upstairs (i could rant for days about him but he is 0/10 the worst)#it will be so cool having access to a kitchen!! and literally anything more than 1 singular room#(it isnt as bad as it sounds i just have a weird life. many strange happenings and phenomenons)#<- fun fact about me! because why not? no one knows where i came from and i dont 100% know if my birthday is my birthday#i just kinda. exist. @:P#i mean technically i was found somewhere and donated to some folks (they called some different people and whoever got there first got me)#but still i think it is very silly! i have no ties to a past not my lived one! i exist as a singularity!#anywho dont think about it too hard like i guess technically ive been orphaned like twice but shhhhhhhh#wow. i am so sleep deprived. i am so so sorry to anyone who may read this#i promise im normal#@:|
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oscill4te · 2 months
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It is genuinely so hard to concentrate on a recipe when it has a million of ads and makes you lose your place where you're reading -_-
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lesbiacnh · 3 months
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omg i get a little stressed and to cope i end up playing esthetician until 130 am and go to bed feeling worse than before. and like id pluck every leg hair out but haven’t brushed my teeth yet. and after that my skin gets soo bad and im like whattttt why is this uappening.
#text#the past couple of months have been crayzeeeeeee but now things are cslm. but im still 🫨🫨🫨 mentally bc im not in a good routine or anything#it always starts bc im like ‘i need to take better care of myself’ and then ends badly. lol#tiktok ‘everything shower’ joke kinda made me get back into the strange habit of doing the absolute bare minimum + doing everything in one#night and feeling worse. instead of like having a more consistent routine#rly i need to start working out again. it helps me regulate things bc i like to plan ahead lol#im on anxiety meds now so im gonna TRYYYYYY to help myself by getting in a better routine#AND BY THAT. i mean SLOWLY bc ive gone through this cycle before and and starting things all on the same day is a variant of this.#and i gotta get off my phone. my neck fucking hurts from sitting weird and scrolling too long#tiny bit cringy to admit but i want to find a stim toy that i could do the same scroll motion on. if that makes sense#like a smooth peice of metal or something. maybe i’ll buy a little keychain and see if that could replace the motion while im chillin doing#something else#SORRY if anyone does read this usually i reread my posts to make sure im coherent before posting but its 140 something am and im high again#ALSO 2024 resolution im done being high on most week nights. i need to calm down w it#ok last thing bc this is funny#phoebe bridgers song came on while i was driving home and the one lyric was like im not afraid of going back to school…….#and it hit me in that exact moment bc I AMMMMMM AFRAID TO go back to school but im not‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️ it’s fine‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️ i am not gonna#ok goodnight. i brushed my teeth#sabotage this.
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opens-up-4-nobody · 11 months
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...
#yesterday i was wandering around the campus where ive resided these last 4 years bc ive banned myself from running until my leg heals#and i was thinking like. what am i gonna miss about this place when i leave? bc im always thinking abt the things i cant wait to get away#from. and its a real short list. ill miss the palm trees bc i never get sick of seeing thrm. theyre so weird#ill miss the yucca. again bc theyre so weird looking. ill miss the way u can see where all the ants r bc in the non human populated areas#there isnt grass everywhere bc desert. ill miss that there r so many birds of prey hanging around. and the road runners and all the lil#lizards. and maybe in an abstract way ill miss being so close to the boarder bc when u live near a boarder boarders feel like bullshit#like staring down the road into another country. idk theres something i like abt that. ill probably also miss being able to run outside#all year long bc in the winter during the day all u need is a light jacket lol. where im going it gets real cold 🥶#maybe ill even miss the constant blue skies. but idk ive always liked a cloudy sky better. makes me think of home haha#ill def miss how convenient my apartment rn is. the loft bed. the low cost. the 5min walk to campus. sigh. but thats pretty much it. i#dont think ill miss anything else. im not really close with anyone. my boss was the reason i came here and she left this school in January#so thats it i guess. i think i stayed a year too long and was not well for a lot of my time here but so it goes#just gotta move to the next place. just gotta pray pray pray that i find an apartment soon. i dont even wanna say anything abt it bc im#afraid to jinx things. even tho thats irrational. like. i just gotta somehow project how good a tenant i am. im so quiet u will never see#me and i never complain abt anything bc i have brain problems. sigh. i cant wait for this transition to b over#im so so so ready to be in a new place doing new things. but at least my energy is back. im back to high energy on little sleep lol#i dont understand how my body functions lmao. somehow when i get a normal amount of sleep it's a sign that i feel awful#unrelated
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strawbie-doodle · 1 year
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it might be kinda weird to say but i have to remind myself that it's ok not to make art/post art all the time...
i haven't drawn in more than a week and i don't have any plans on starting anything but i'm just going to keep living life and playing tears of the kingdom in order to not think abt it :]
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Turns out I can still learn something new about my favorite band: Ron Blair played the fucking cello on "The Wild One, Forever"?!
It was confirmed by Tom Petty who said: "He doesn’t play the cello," Petty said of Blair. "He just fashioned out enough that he could play the chorus."
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