study smart not hard (altough both is best actually) this saying is so true

idk how to live so im going to talk to myself out loud until i do

Hmm (sadly)

just over 24 hours til i never have to think about my dissertation ever again

Need to start taking the critical thinking questions bit away from people who clearly did not have to answer critical thinking questions in high school

Have I fully exorcised the capitalism and neoliberalism from my brain?

No.

Am I seemingly light years ahead of most of the other geography masters students here?

Yeah. Just a bit.

not me sobbing alone in my dorm over a fucking a-

i got the stuff due tonight in!!!!!!! i still have two big assignments that are about a week late, and two more big ones due tomorrow, but i am sooooo sexy and attractive and know i can absolutely do this. yay. 

ugh

.

.

I didnt read the other book my teacher wanted us to to debate in class and it is worth like 30% of the quantitative evaluation and it is for TOMORROW and there is a movie but i saw it ages ago and i dont have the time to watch it or read it now and neither did all week im gonna DIE somebody help

whiteknuckling the counter chanting to myself Cs Get Degrees Cs Get Degrees Cs Get Degrees

would love to continue my studies but… im scared

...ngl, the fact that ADD and ADHD got condensed into ADHD when the hyperactivity specifically is part of the reason so many girls were simply not diagnosed drives me up the wall.

It's not that the whole name isn't bullshit, because it is. It describes the way people outside of our experience perceive us, as opposed to the difficulties that are part of our lived experience. Even from an outside standpoint, it's recognizable that "deficit" is not always the issue with our attention... but that's beside the point.

When psychiatrists noticed that ADD and ADHD were basically the same thing... they chose to favor the typical male presentation in the literal naming of the condition, and in doing so condemned a generation of girls (and other afab people) to suffer through being told they're so smart, they just don't apply themselves enough, that it's a personal failing they can't regularly turn in homework, that they're lazy for waiting until the last minute to work on an assignment... because those girls weren't hyperactive. Those girls just kind of drifted off and daydreamed in classes. Those girls doodled or wrote stories all through their school years, and functioned measurably worse when a teacher noticed they were doing that and tried to stop them. Those girls are now so many of my adult friends who are now being diagnosed with ADHD as adults, because the hyperactive part of the diagnosis almost solely applies to children (CHILDREN, when, I might note, this is a lifelong condition) who are socialized male.

We need a whole other name for the condition, because attention deficit is not our problem at all. But my god, the hyperactivity part actually ruined my life for so many years, because I had no way to explain to my dad why it physically hurt me to be bored, why I had to read or write or doodle in class in order to keep my focus, why I excelled in tests but failed at homework so my grades sucked because of that. No one even considered I might have ADHD, all through my childhood, but earlier this year I had the opportunity to go through all my grade school reports, and they could not be MORE CLEARLY talking about a child with ADHD. "Pleasure to have in class", "assignments not complete", "does not pay attention in class", "Birdie is a highly intelligent child with specific and unique needs" (I would LOVE more follow-up on that one, from third grade, do not have it). But I was a quiet and reserved child, so obviously I couldn't have ADHD.

I'm legitimately angry about it in retrospect. I went off my Adderall for a couple months recently, as an adult who only started taking Adderall as an adult, and it completely fucked up my ability to function. For years I was just out there as a teenager struggling through high school and college entirely unmedicated because as a child I was too withdrawn to be diagnosed. Fucking wild and also infuriating.

,,,,