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creek-cryptid-deluxe · 3 years

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I just want to clear something up, in case there's anyone who can only see my notes with a user tagged on my "don't hate doctors/that's not ableism" rants.

I can no longer see the tagged user's comments, so I'm unsure if they are also gone for everyone else & it just looks like I'm going off at random.

So let's chat about why I went off, shall we?

Now, if you've been here at all, you've read my intro blurb which directs you to my pinned post. Within that pinned post there's a lot of information, some of which says that if you don't like what I have to say, my views, or my opinions based on my experience then don't read it. Nobody is forcing you to, so scamper off. It also says for those people to not "come for me" (as the kids say) in the notes because I will use those words, views, & opinions you dislike to verbally spar (and I have so much more experience at the verbal slap down) & then will screenshot & post it on here while laughing at your ridiculous hubris.

That same pinned post lays out, very clearly I think, my feelings & thoughts in a general way about the chronic illness community at large. And while I do have posts that are tagged with CI & EDS hashtags, I deliberately didn't tag these 2 posts. So to find them, this person who doesn't follow me had to go into my blog & scroll. And I don't mean go to my blog via the chronic pain post because the posts in question were posted after so they would only show if they went into my blog & started at the top.... where the pinned post is.

So anyone with half a damn brain knows what they are in for when scrolling through my shitshow, yeah? Yeah.

Welp, apparently that post about "why it's bad to promote doctor hate/that's not fucking ableism you whiny baby" got someone's undies in a bunch & they decided to let me know that according to them....

• I am invalidating people's medical trauma

(nowhere in that post did I say anything about medical trauma, but a doctor doing anything mentioned in my post will not cause such a thing. Waking up during a surgery, such as a gallbladder removal, & being unable to let them know so you just have to deal/watch, THAT would cause medical trauma. And if that sort of thing has happened to anyone reading, I am so so sorry. That is terrible & I hope you have been able to seek help in dealing with it.)

• That i am 'not allowed' to invalidate those people.

(Again, never did but also you don't get to police what I say on my blog sweet cheeks. And I think it's ironic that you're telling me that I can't invalidate someone's feelings/experience while simultaneously invalidating mine because... you read something you disagree with & decided it was a personal attack. Hm. Seems you might be the type of person I was talking about in both posts.)

• That I have NO IDEA what it's like to be misdiagnosed 10+ times.

( ok, #1 you have to be the most illiterate motherfucker who can still string together a typed sentence because both that post AND my pinned post clearly state that I wasn't diagnosed with vEDS until I was THIRTY FUCKING ONE. You think I just spent that time period thinking everything is fine and dandy while my joints crumbled & organs ruptured & got pneumonia every fucking winter? No, bitch! I was trying to sort it out & was misdiagnosed REPEATEDLY starting at 7 yrs old. So please, tell me again how I have no idea what that's like.

And #2. Unlike you, I actually went and looked at your blog pretty carefully. Since I have better reading comprehension than you, I saw that you are an uber dramatic 18 yr old kid who fancies herself an uber spoonie witch! I find everything about this deeply offensive.

#1. You're 18. Of course you're dramatic. You're a teen. But also, you have zero actual life experience but think you know everything... as literally every teen does... while actually knowing fuckall. Cute.

#2. You claim to be a witch because... you collect crystals and like the aesthetic. You know that the various branches of witchcraft are like... legit belief systems right? In fact a lot of them are actual religions with deities and rituals and everything. So while you are screeching about 'InVaLiDaTiOn' you're over there appropriating not just A religion, but an entire GROUP of varied & nuisanced religions and practices. Very uncool and very (feel like I'm beating a dead horse with this but...) ignorant.

"But you have witch in your blog title!"

Yeah bro. I'm a practicing green witch. In high school I did loads of research on the different types & branches of witchcraft. In my early 20s, I decided that green witchcraft really aligns with my beliefs & way of life, plus it caters to my distaste for deity worship & ritual. So...

#3. I can understand why you decided to get all indignant in my notes since in those 2 posts (and my various other rants about chronic illness communities & culture) you are EXACTLY WHO I'M TALKING ABOUT. People like you are what's wrong with the community. People like you are why it takes so long for young women, specifically, to be taken seriously by doctors.

BECAUSE OF OBVIOUSLY EXAGGERATING, VICTIM MENTALITY HAVING, DRAMA QUEENS LIKE YOU.

So kindly fuck off and grow the fuck up. When you are my age, you will look back at this & you will cringe so hard that it will cause you physical pain. Or you'll be the lady at the TJ Maxx screaming about discrimination because they won't let you return an item that is outside of their return policy.

For your sake I hope it's the former.

And if anyone else feels the way this youngster did, you can fuck off too. Again, nobody is pulling a Clockwork Orange & holding your eyes open, making you read my shitfest, opinion & experience filled blog.

♡ A chronically ill, disabled elder millennial ✌

There will be no reblogging of this post because while it may echo some of your personality sentiments, this is about a specific note on a specific post from a specific dramatic butthurt whiny baby user.

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yoonohnct · 6 years

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What NCT 2018 Would Call You (all members!)

I think the members would likely use terms of endearment from whatever language you predominantly spoke with each other, or really any of the languages they speak. I included some Korean terms because I can speak Korean and feel comfortable using it lol.

Taeil: Darling/Dear - Taeil seems kind of classic to me, and for some reason can remind me of an old soul LOL. I think these terms would be perfect for him because they aren’t over the top, and embody both an element of being sweet, but also have an old-fashioned vibe. I don’t think Taeil would use terms of endearment too often for fear of them losing their effect. He would probably use these when you were just relaxing together.

“Darling, would you mind passing me the remote?”

Johnny: Babe/Love/Sugarplum - I’m all over the place with Johnny boy. The term of endearment he would use would really depend on how he wanted to make you feel. Babe shows a more flirty, American bro-y side. Love would typically be reserved for special, sentimental moments like if you were dancing or when he was saying goodnight over the phone from another country. Sugarplum is so funny to me and would probably be used when he wants to joke around and tease you with his cheesiness.

“Are you busy tomorrow babe?”

“Sweet dreams love.”

“What’s crack-a-lackin’ sugarplum?”

Taeyong: 자기야/여보 (Jagiya/Yeobo) - I think Taeyong is a very sweet, affectionate person. I also see him as being a very typical Korean (in terms of style, culture, thinking etc.) So I think these very adorable Korean terms of endearment would be perfect (they’re similar to saying “honey”). They’re very commonly used amongst couples in Korea, and would immediately become his go to. He would love using them to refer to you so you’re always reminded that you’re his.

“What should I make for dinner tonight yeobo?”

Yuta: Sweet cheeks - He 100% seems like he would use this type of name lol. I just picture the type of guy who would say this as being a cocky mf very self-assured haha. You would have to be to use something so cringe,. He would use it mostly when he was feeling a bit frisky or extra confident, like right when he would come off stage. If he wanted to be more sweet, I think he would still use this name (it’s his fave!!) but he would say it more softly, almost whispering it.

“So how much did you love watching me perform this time sweet cheeks?”

Kun: Princess - Honestly I think Kun is one of the sweetest, most kind, gentle humans lol. Like he is so soft and cute omg. I think he would literally treat his gf like they hung the moon, and would want to give her the world. So oc he would treat her like royalty, which is why a name like princess is so fitting. Princess can sort of be demeaning at times but the way Kun would deliver it (like how he looks at you when he says it omg) would 110% be from a place of love.

“How was your day princess?”

Doyoung: 바보 (Babo) - GUYS. I’m sure many of you know “babo” means “idiot/stupid”and I die because Doyoung would definitely have the type of relationship where you guys are both super witty and smart and always trying to one-up each other. You would insult each other but sort of affectionately? He would say this with the biggest smile and then do something cute like ruffle your hair or throw his arm around your shoulders and give you a little squeeze. At times, he would also use it to pretend he was offended or hurt to get a reaction out of you, and would probably dramatically place his hand over his heart and would pretend to gasp in shock lol.

“Hey babo, why didn’t you reply to my text this morning?!”

Ten: Sexy/Bae - Ten’s nothing if not confident lol. But unlike Yuta, I don’t think Ten is super sexual. He just doesn’t have any qualms about expressing how attracted to you he is, whether it be physically or personality-wise. He also seems like he’s very proud of his English, especially when he knows slang or stuff you may not learn in school so he’d be into using those types of pet-names for you. They’re silly and fun, but also a little possessive.

“Can you make it to my dance practice tomorrow sexy?”

Jaehyun: Angel/Sunshine - These terms to me are used when someone is just completely in love and in awe of who they are with. And let’s be honest, Jaehyun is an angel/sunshine personified? I think for Jae to date someone, he would have to truly believe in his feelings. He would look at you like you were too perfect to be from earth, aka you’re an angel from the heavens. He would just look you dead in the eyes and say something super sweet and you would be putty in his hands because you felt exactly the same about him.

“You look cold angel. Do you want my hoodie?”

Winwin: Sweetie/Sweetheart - Winwin is so cute, and I think he would want to give you a nickname that reflects what a special role you have in his life. You are sweet, caring and bring a light to his life which probably isn’t always rosy because of his lifestyle! I can see him using sweethart pretty often, basically finishing all his thoughts with it. He would use it so often he might even forget your actual name.

“We have to get ice cream after our dinner date sweetheart!”

Jungwoo: Kitten - Jungwoo to me sort of shows duality - sometimes he’s super soft and cute, but sometimes he’s a bit more flirty and confident (but not over the top). I think this nickname is perfect because it’s adorable and fluffy, but also doesn’t seem to deep like “darling.” Ultimately Jungwoo is a shy boy so I think he would reserve any pet-names for when it was just the two of you. Just imagine him calling you kitten in his soft voice omg.

“Kitten, did I do a good job in our performance last night?“

Lucas: Gorgeous/Beautiful/Hottie - This guy though. He would be his gf’s ULTIMATE hype man. I think someone like Lucas is confident enough to know he could score the most attractive girls, but would care more about someone’s personality. He is super sweet and would want his girlfriend to feel beautiful, confident, reassured and loved regardless of how she compared to society’s beauty standards. He would definitely YELL these names in his typical Lucas voice to embarrassingly hype you up regardless of who was around, or he would just use them when he was feeling particularly cutesy or felt like you needed a boost.

“DAMN HOTTIE, YOU LOOK SO FINE!”

“I love you beautiful. I’m so happy I got to see you today.”

Mark: Babe/Baby - Mark is kind of swaggy and for some reason these just seem like something a cool dude would call his girl (even though they sort of make me cringe lol). They’re also very commonly used in North America. I think he would mostly just use your name around the other members, but I can see him shyly using these terms when it was just you guys, especially in more sentimental moments.

“It’s so good to finally see you. I’ve missed you so much baby.”

Renjun: Cutie - I think Renjun would want to call you this because amongst NCT, he’s always sort of portrayed as cute and quiet (even though we know he has a very witty side) so he would like to project that and have you be the cute one in your relationship! He wouldn’t use it too often, but it would probably come out when he was saying hi, really missing you, or when you actually did/said something he thought was cute and he wanted to call you out for it!

*you trip when you’re walking together* “You’re so clumsy, cutie!”

Jeno: Honey - I think honey is just the right amount of mushy to be cute, but not cheesy. When I think of someone using it, I picture a guy who is gentlemanly and kind, but has a clear role in the relationship as a strong, masculine person. That to me is Jeno! I think he would try out a bunch of different nicknames for you, but ultimately settle on this one when he realizes it makes you blush the most. He would definitely use it regardless of who was around!

“Honey, come join us all for a movie at the dorm!”

Haechan: Girlfriend/Wifey - These can either be cute names, or very possessive names. And I think Haechan would use it more as the latter. He is just SO happy that you are his and he wants everyone to know. Like he will literally yell “HEY GIRLFRIEND!” at you from down the hallway at SM just so everyone around knows you’re together. And he doesn’t just use it when speaking to you; he will literally refer to you in conversations with other people as girlfriend or wifey.

*to his hyungs* “See you guys later! Wifey and I have a date tonight!”

Jaemin: Baby Girl/Doll - We all know Jaemin is the ult flirt, and to me, these are VERY flirty nicknames. I feel like someone who uses these terms is very sure in his masculinity. Kind of like he wants to be the dominant one but not in the sense that he wants power over his girl. It’s more like he wants to provide for and protect her. His tone would really really determine whether his intention was to come across as more manly or suggestive.

slings his arm around her shoulders* “Happy to see me baby girl?”

Chenle: Pumpkin - Similar to Johnny using sugarplum, I feel like Chenle would use a term of endearment that is super playful and teasing. It’s so silly and you would clap back by pretending like you hated it, but really, he knew you loved it. I don’t see him using it all the time, but I think he would pull it out when you were feeling a bit down, or maybe when he was trying to annoy you until you’d do what he wanted. He would also use it when he was in a really good mood!

“So pumpkin… Since I got lunch, you’re treating me to coffee later, right?”

Jisung: Y/N - LOL. To be honest, I just see Jisung as super shy with girls (which might change with age!!). Even if he wanted to, I don’t think he would feel comfortable using something other than your name until you had been together for a while and were very sure of each other and the relationship. Occasionally, a term of endearment might slip out but he would probably get flustered and try to act like it didn’t happen. He wouldn’t want you to think he was weird or cheesy or something.

“So sweetie I MEAN Y/N OMG… ANYWAYS WHICH MOVIE DID YOU WANT TO SEE AGAIN?”

Excuse me while I go cry because when will any guy call me one of these names, let alone a member of NCT haha. But real talk, I had so much fun writing this and I really hope you guys enjoyed it!! Ngl, it wasn’t easy coming up with 18 different terms of endearment that fit to each of the members, but I’m happy with how it turned out! Feel free to leave me feedback or requests. I love getting messages from you guys!

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maychorian · 7 years

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Weekly Voltron Fic Recs #31

Rules: You can find past weekly rec lists here, and non-list recs in my general fic rec tag. Also follow @maychorianrecs for individually tagged posts, the easier to search and reblog. This is stuff I like, and I have a huge bias toward Lance, hurt/comfort, and general fluff, in that order. Gen unless otherwise noted. Please comment on the fics if you read and enjoy them!

Made of Star-Stuff by hello my stars (arka_r) Words: 26,066 Author's Summary: The headquarters of the Blade of Marmora was not just a military base; it was also a home to refugees. Aliens of all sorts from planets the Empire had destroyed or were occupying lived there. Secured between the pulling forces of two black holes, protected by the solar flares of a blue supergiant star, the small rocky moon was the safest place to hide from Zarkon’s destructive fleet.Despite this diversity, Keith the half-Galra from Earth always knew that he was different. --Dads of Marmora AU / Blade of Marmora-raised Keith AU. Minor/background relationship tag refers to Thace/Ulaz and Kolivan/Antok. This series will have Shiro/Keith in the later installments. My Comments: Absolute fabulous fic. The worldbuilding is so detailed and so cool, and the characterization of Keith as an unintentionally abandoned child, and all of his anger issues and heartache and depression, is so spot-on and so heartachey. There are moments of great fear and grief, as well as plenty of uplifting moments and warm fuzziness. Very satisfying.

The Sea In Between by Oh_Contrary Words: 60,444 (WIP 14/25) Author's Summary: Team Voltron has successfully reunited after they were separated by the corrupted wormhole. But now, as they start their most perilous series of missions, the team is once again torn apart when Lance is captured by the Galra. While Lance struggles to survive in the clutches of their enemy, the rest of the team struggles just to stay together. The team is determined to find their friend; but will they find him in time? My Comments: Tagged Klance, gen so far. I binged this at work today, and you should definitely mind the tags and trigger warnings. So far it’s been pretty brutal, but the love and care the Voltron team has for each other still shines through very strongly. We’re finally getting to the point where I expect to see some heavy-duty hurt/comfort, so I’m really looking forward to more.

Gifts of the Champion by librariansheart Words: 1,577 Author's Summary: Shiro has become the Champion of the Arena, and in the process has begun to lose sight of himself. My Comments: An achey but well-written glimpse of Shiro’s missing year.

Hold in your breath by Qpenguin98 Words: 2,670 Author's Summary: Keith tries to do what Shiro wanted, but it doesn't go as well as he hopes. My Comments: Post Season-Two, Keith is hurting so so bad, and he’s not making the best choices, but the support from everyone else helps.

Hunk: Yellow Paladin by ElfGrove Words: 2,618 Author's Summary: Archiving from my tumblr flash fics. Fanart Response Ficlet. -- Shiro gets into a tough spot and Hunk's heroism shines through. My Comments: I absolutely adore the art this is based on, and the fic is a perfect accompaniment. Shiro is in trouble, Hunk gets hurt rescuing him, and Shiro tries to remind Hunk that he’s important, too.

Fighting the Surface by tommino Words: 10,957 (WIP 7/10) Author's Summary: “Humans have shown quite the impressive drive for survival,” the Galra commander grins. “I want to see you fight against that. The druids claim drowning is quite the painful way to go." He tips Lance backward over the water, as Keith and Shiro struggle against their bonds. "If you surface, they die.” Lance’s eyes widen and he's pushed backward with a splash. ______ Keith, Shiro, and Lance are taken captive during a mission planet-side. The commander decides he only needs two paladins for interrogation, and decides to have a little fun while they wait for extraction. Lance is thrown into the deep with the threat that if he swims up for air, one of the other two will be shot. Obviously Lance would rather die than allow that. Later chapters will, of course, deal with Keith and Shiro losing their damn minds thinking Lance just drowned himself for them. My Comments: Tagged Klance, gen so far. Really great action/angst fic with self-sacrificing Lance and horrified Shiro and Keith. The tension and emotion is top-notch.

Take Me Home by Reader115 Words: 44,562 Author's Summary: “We’re going to see them today,” Lance said in a continued whisper. Keith’s ears flicked towards him, as much an indication that Keith was listening that Lance was likely to receive this early in the morning. “I just keep thinking about what it’s going to be like to finally go home. I know I said I wanted parades before, but — really I just want to sit down at the dinner table and stare at their faces.”A sequel to “Make Me Your Home” in which the paladins finally get to return to Earth for a visit. My Comments: Klance, but I was able to skip over the dating and sexual content (brief) without too much trouble. This is a great fic, a great exploration of Lance and his relationship with his family and just earth-shattering grief can be. It just go away when the object of that grief suddenly returns from the dead, no sir. All of Lance’s family’s different reactions were so poignant and so realistic. Beautiful stuff.

All This Dogged Innocence by yet_intrepid Words: 2,355 Author's Summary: Ulaz pinches at the bridge of his nose. It is—soft of him, really, sentimental. The Blade is of greater importance than any three prisoners among Zarkon’s thousands. But he does not like to see the humans cringe at his inspections, as if he will hurt them. Not that their fears are baseless, either, Ulaz thinks as he flips through his records to find the date of Shiro’s wrist injury. They have been hurt at the hands of many Galra, and Ulaz has had his share in that. It is necessary for maintaining his position, and he tells himself he does not regret it. “Concentration?” Matt says, hopefully. He holds out his hands again. “Matt,” says the older of the prisoners, the commander. He seems to have other names—Dad, Sam—but Ulaz is unsure of their significance. It’ll take more in-depth cultural research to determine what each means. “Let Shiro be.” My Comments: This is so heartbreaking and so sweet at the same time. Gah, this author excels at that. A Little TLC by partlycloudii Words: 1,572 Author's Summary: The defenders of the universe are a team, a family. My Comments: Super adorable Lance and Allura bonding, then dragging the whole team in. I love it. Nice Things by wingedflower Words: 2,875 Author's Summary: Protect the universe. Defeat Zarkon. Find her family. Pidge knew that those missions were more important than anything else. But sometimes she couldn't help but crave a little normality in her life, if only for a while. Luckily, Lance is there to remind her of some facts she has already forgotten. My Comments: Lance and Pidge friendship! He’s so sweet and so dumb, sometimes, and Pidge deserves nice things.

quiet moments by aah_bluejay Words: 2,493 Author's Summary: Sometimes she sat alone, dwarfed by the cavernous walls and reflective surfaces. But more and more often, now, she had company. Today it was Keith that dropped by, walking into the room with feather-light steps and sinking to the floor in one fluid movement once she gave him the okay to enter. // or: Pidge and Keith sit in silence. Sometimes it's comfortable and sometimes it's not. My Comments: Gimme that sweet, sweet Pidge and Keith friendship.

The X Files by Zurela Words: 11,130 Author's Summary: Three of the most brilliant people at the Garrison were sent on a mission and didn't return. No one will say what happened. Keith, Pidge, Lance, and Hunk are the only ones willing to find the truth. My Comments: Nice canon-divergence AU Keith doesn’t get kicked out quite as quickly and makes friends with the Garrison Trio. Blink and you’ll miss it Klance at the end.

Not Enough Soup by tanksquid Words: 1,246 Author's Summary: For the given prompt: "How about a contagion thing where the four younger paladins get sick with some kind of space flu and Shiro takes care of them but then he gets it himself and he's way worse than they are because he's been running himself ragged and then they all team up and take care of their Space Dad and it's fluffy and sweet." Small whump prompt, ft Shiro being an actual dad and trying to take care of his terrible children. My Comments: Give Shiro the soup.

Peanut Butter Cookies by this_book_has_been_loved Words: 2,000 Author's Summary: A year ago today, Pidge had been woken up by Matt over an hour earlier than it already was. They’d raced down the stairs towards the kitchen, where their mom had already started pulling out bowls and pans and ingredients to start the day. Today, only a year later, Pidge sat alone at a table in the Garrison’s dining hall, staring through the open windows at the sunlight glinting off the red mountains. OR Pidge is left to celebrate their father’s birthday on their own. But, maybe they’re not as alone as they think. My Comments: Really sweet pre-series Garrison Trio fic with Hunk and Lance doing everything they can to help Pidge feel better.

In-Flight Conversation by Foxfire74 Words: 331 Author's Summary: The Green Lion is good at communicating. Really. My Comments: Super adorable Pidge and Green bonding. Am I Broken? by Adventures_in_Writing Words: 7,381 Author's Summary: Pidge is feeling a little lost and confused so she goes to Lance for some advice. My Comments: Really lovely fic about Pidge questioning whether she’s asexual and what that might mean, and looking to Lance for advice. There are background pairings that are important to the content of the discussion but don’t affect the main point of the fic, which is friendship and understanding.

Turn Back the Clock by phoenixyfriend Words: 4,632 (WIP 1/?) Author's Summary: Lance was all of nineteen years old, had spent the last two years and change fighting a war against an evil alien empire, and had lost six friends in one fell stroke just a week and a half ago. And with a little help, he was going to fix that. My Comments: Absolutely fabulous time travel fic in which Lance, a veteran of the war against Zarkon for several years, goes back in time to a point pre-series to try to save everyone from a catastrophic event. The writing is great, and the art is wonderful too. I can’t wait for more.

Coran's Guide to the Care and Keeping of Earthling Humans by WildWolf25 Words: 9,098 (WIP 8/12) Author's Summary: It turns out there a fair number of cultural differences between Alteans and humans. Confusion and hilarity ensues. (Based on some of those "humans are weird" or "take a human" posts I've seen floating around tumblr) My Comments: Super cute Team Voltron fic with a great Coran POV and fun, fluffy moments for all. Ghost Stories by SilverMoon53 Words: 1,678 Author's Summary: It started with an off-hand suggestion from Lance, which grew into a 3AM grouping around a campfire telling ghost stories and roasting Hunk’s marshmallow-like creation. My Comments: Lovely team bonding fic that gets really serious really fast.

Teeth Ready for Sinking by BossToaster (ChaoticReactions) Words: 13,030 Author's Summary: Since waking up ten years in the future, Shiro hasn't been able to bring himself to get back in the Black Lion. The rest of the team is there to offer advice and help. My Comments: I both love and hate this ‘verse. It’s amazing and well-written, but it tears at my soul. That said, this is beautiful, emotional and very affecting. Of Seas, of Streams, of Falling Rain, of Naval Hurricane by twilighteve Words: 11,624 Author's Summary: “I should tell the others,” he whispered to himself, like he did every morning since he got the ability, despite knowing that this day-cycle would probably end the way other day-cycles did. Namely, with him not saying anything about this. The timing was just never right. Lance gets water/ice powers. He wants to tell the others, but either he has the worst timing in the universe ever, or Fate just likes to fuck with him. To be completely honest, he's leaning to the latter. My Comments: Lance is a sweet, sweet, darling, incredibly lovely boy, even when he gets Elsa powers and no one listens to him. Slightly OOC for my tastes, but I did enjoy this fic very much.

Man in the Box by Emerald_Ashes Words: 2,359 Author's Summary: The castle was quite vast, and had a lot of large spaces. But this part Lance couldn’t stand. The storeroom was just small. It was no secret that he wasn’t a fan of tight spaces. Dark. Enclosed. Cramped. He hated it all.Or: A day of chores ends rather badly for Lance My Comments: This is rough on poor Lance, but I loved Keith’s efforts to help.

Previously Recced Fics That Updated: As Color Fades Away by IcyPanther The Machinations of Perception by HapaxLegomenon Someplace Like Home by squirenonny The Size Of Our Actions by buttered_onions A Dream Away by BossToaster (ChaoticReactions) (now complete) The Color Of Our Planet From Far Far Away by LonelyGirlInSpace Secret of the Blood by exclamation (now complete) Truce by kyanve Water and Blood by Stratagem A Couple of Ticks by easternCriminal Renegades by Stratagem Love and Other Questions by squirenonny (now complete, and so so so so good) Towards The Sun by Eastofthemoon Gate Keeper by MoonlitPaladin (MoonlitStardust) for cupcakelevi Here Stands a Man by awkwardCerberus (now complete) Voltron Meets Voltron! by Nameless_Knight Playing Catch-Up by 5557

#voltron legendary defender #weekly voltron fic recs #fic rec #i'm going to try a new thing next week #gonna try making rec posts on @maychorianrecs right after i read them #so i don't have to spend an hour combing through my ao3 history and trying to remember which fics i have and haven't recced #and which i don't plan to #and why #because seriously it takes forever #vldgen

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shriekthemighty · 6 years

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Blackened White

For the sake of not blowing up my friends’ phones while I read this, I’m just gonna make a post of my reactions to Brian’s book as I read it. Obviously, spoiler warnings if you intend to read this book.

Night Stand: Fucking wow. The razorblade line. The bluntness of his admission to stealing opiates from people’s bathrooms. This piece is raw and relatable as fuck, even if the specifics aren’t things that I’ve done.

Cloud 9: Already I’m feeling a connection to this one. Messy, toxic, occasionally violent relationships that you can’t quite find the reason to leave? Yeah. And well... that sure was a fucking ending. This book might be a hard read. I don’t know why I expected it wouldn’t be. Fuck.

Where I am Going, You Can’t Take Me: This is very tonally different from the first two. More removed from Brian himself, it seems. Or at least it seems like it’s an attempt to be more removed. The language is more formal and more romanticized that the frank tone of the first two, not to mention that it’s signed “Henry.” Though this could be a cultural reference that I’m missing. (A quick google of Henry and Victoria gave me nothing.) But the substance abuse, the relationship struggle, the staying even when you know you probably shouldn’t is still there. To the point where this makes me wonder if it isn’t a different take on the same relationship of Cloud 9. I can relate to having vastly different opinions on your relationship depending on... all sorts of shit. Feeling like you’re star-crossed lovers one time and a slo-mo nuclear detonation at another.

We’re Fine: Before I even have read a word, this title sets off alarm bells. Here we go. “...broken, shelved, or served upon.” JUST FUCKING FUCK ME UP BRIAN. IT’S OKAY. I’M FINE. WE’RE FINE. This one snuck up on me. The title had me on guard, but it was okay for the first like, two thirds. The last third was the hit me in the soul agony I was expecting. I’m gonna end up coming at Brian on twitter with angry, sobbing gratitude for this book; I already know it. Also I’m still wondering if this is the same relationship as mentioned in Cloud 9, or if Brian is just that fucking unlucky.

Into the Wind: “She wasn’t my wife and she never will be. She’s a warm body in a cold bed” This one didn’t hit as close to home for me personally, but it still hit. I’m seriously impressed by how Brian can have such impact in so very few words. You don’t have to relate to feel what he’s feeling, and he can convey that feeling very concisely. I’m literally 10 pages in (not counting the acknowledgements and introduction) and I’m already prepared to buy everything he ever writes from now until forever.

Jessica: This one was the pithy and self-depreciating humor I have come to know Brian for via Talks, with the slightly more raw edge his anonymity at the time would afford him. And the last line really drove it home. Hashtag relatable. Cringe Benefits: This one is the first one that doesn’t quite land for me. I get it, but it didn’t particularly do much for me. A very short 8 line poem about moving on and having the past come calling. Not bad by any means, just not as impactful as the others have been so far.

Lawton Outlaw Moved to Texas: The frankness in this one verged on brutal, but not in a bad way. I gave it three full reads before I felt like I could accurately comment on how it made me feel. A lot of it felt like it was a bit alien to my personal experiences, but “ Popping pills and washing them down with a Heineken I found under the backseat/ Wiping the tears from my eyes/ And wishing my best friend wasn’t dead” is such a fucking mood even if I haven’t lived that specific experience, other than having my best fucking friend die young.

Blink: Title reference! A throwback to Into the Wind? Or just a phrasing he likes and forgot he already used. I don’t even care, it works. Overall this one leaves me with the feeling that I’m missing something. Like the meaning has gone just a bit over my head. What’s fascinating is that I googled ‘thief in the night’ to see if the origin of that phrase might clue me in to the meaning of the last few lines, and it wasn’t until I saw that it came from the new testament (I think. This was not a deep google dive.) that I noticed, when I went back and reread those lines, that ‘he’ was capitalized, which gives that last bit so much more meaning and definitely clarifies the whole thing a bit. Not my jam, but not bad.

The Christmas Party: Man, the bitterness is palpable in this one. I’ve fucking been there. And fuck me, the ending was perfect. The kind of story that works so well it shouldn’t feel real, yet you don’t doubt for a second. I’ve been there too. When you’re just ready and honestly a little bit glad to hate everything around you, and then something beautiful knocks you on your ass. Life is like that sometimes.

Chain Coffee: This one I feel meh about. 11 pieces in and I’m only now having a less than positive reaction? That’s impressive. But this feels a little too ‘back in the good old days’ for me to be completely comfortable with. I think I get what he was trying to say, but it just rubbed me wrong a teensy bit. Maybe it’s my over-defensive nature combined with the current millennial-shaming, anti technology atmosphere making me dislike any criticism of the weight of words in the modern age. Or maybe Brian was just being a semi old-ish dude not liking change. Who knows.

Drawn: Well fuck. Literally a single sentence, and a short one at that, being the only thing on the page. The vast empty space following must have been intentional. It works. It works really well.

Robert Downey Jr.: Hah! I love it. This is me every time I’ve ever told anyone about a wacky dream I had. A combination of insanity and deep truths, somehow.

The Mourning After: I already love this for the title alone. Like, fucking fuck. I feel that.

Welp. That was not what I expected it to be. A ‘classic’ Brian joke that reads more like a self dig. Definitely would have been funny and possibly meaningful if I wasn’t expecting something about more literal mourning. It’s very possible there is a deeper meaning I’m failing to grasp because of my own trauma making the word mourning have a very specific meaning to me.

Carnival: Damn. The setup for this was just... so well done. I’m really, really impressed with Brian’s writing ability. He says so much with so few words. The last line of this one really got me. The Cahuenga Past: “[...]where the creative and the cremated find a common ground: neither of us are going anywhere soon.” Well the end of this one felt a bit too It Gets Better™ for my taste, even though I’m sure that wasn’t even a little bit what he was intending (and the It Gets Better Project was probably not even a thing when he wrote this). I’m just a fuckin’ product of my age, and that is what I got. That being said, the bit about wanting to give up but somehow not doing that really made this piece for me. There may be a bit of projection happening, but I felt it in a good way so who cares.

Fear is a Poison: This one had a song lyrics vibe. I can definitely see it being a song rather than a straight poem.

The Hotel Figueroa: Not really sure about this one. A little meh.

Johnny: “You never cross my mind until I’ve had moreto drink than I’ve had to eat.”

An interesting one for sure. Brian seems to have had a LOT of relationship problems.

Peace Be With You: Feelings about religion, woo!

In the Beginning: I loved the sentiment of something being perfect only in the sense that it was with someone you loved. I feel that.

Shipwrecked: I definitely relate to this one. Trying to save someone and it resulting in you needing saved yourself, that person doing the same for you, and repeat.

Stay: This one felt simple and sweet. Good times for once. I especially liked the bit with the typewriter.

Spring: Another very relatable, but not as painful, piece. The idea of holding back and trying to appear as though you have nothing to give so you don’t have to be taken from.

Plague: This one was a bit cliche at the end, but not bad. It felt like there should be more.

The Strong Man: Definitely relatable. Putting everything off until the time is right, but that time never coming. Not believing in your own worth but claiming it to everyone who will listen.

Vitamins: Wow, that last line. The self loathing turning into an attempt at hope.

Glenoaks: A funny and bizarre little intrusive thoughts parade.

Racists: A fuckin’ men.

Rent Control: Fucking fuck. This one I feel so hard. The constant dismissal of addictive behaviors because of youth. Shit.

The Fountain of Youth: I’m not a religious person but I could still feel the depth of this one. Floundering and searching for something and being unsure you would deserve it, unsure you could survive it, if you found it. The repetition of the first stanza at the end of the poem really brought it home.

Burn or Bury: Wow. More religious implications in this one, but it’s just a background note to something that feels like it could have a huge impact with just a little more context, but still impacts pretty hard. I think this is about killing a past self, but who knows. I’m literally just going on first instinct here. Don’t think less of Brian’s writing because I didn’t take the time to really let some of this stuff percolate. His writing deserves it. There are so many layers going on in so much of what he writes.

A Good Knight’s Sleep: This one reads like song lyrics, and again I think just a little more context would make all the difference, but I still really enjoyed it. I can’t tell if this is about a breakup, a lost love due to suicide, or due to death from another cause, but it still works.

The Wine: Ngl, the complete break from the rhyme scheme in the last stanza kinda took me out of this one. Maybe I’m a dumbass and this is a particular form of poetry that I’m not familiar with. Maybe Brian just let the words take over in the end. Idk. But I definitely get the feel of this one.

A Psalm for Those: This one is definitely interesting. It treads that line where I can’t tell if it’s a relationship metaphor or a religion metaphor. Either way, I enjoyed it. Brian can really bring things home with clever repetition sometimes.

Flares: Mmm, I feel ya. Corporate drudgery and the desire for something more. Ugh.

If the Medicine Fails: Brian is a true romantic. Jesus fucking fuck. This is the most pure and painfully loving thing I have ever read. Dear god. And what a note to end the book on.

#brian foster #blackened white #review

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