definitely severely fucked up with talking to a guy I like

rant in tags and it’s long sorry

In 2024 I’m asking for more old man voldemort; he’s in his 70’s, he’s tired, he’s surrounded by hormonal teenagers and melodramatic young adults and he’s in desperate need of a nap every day of his tyrannical existence.

One last glance at a former rival

bonus + original photo below cut

A Gale of Wolves, Chapter 4: Jon

"I think she's come to take back Winterfell, Your Grace," he answered, then dared to add, "just as I think she'll be wanting you to call her Lady Stark."

The king looked doubtful, even as he grasped Jon's meaning. "Lady Stark of Winterfell? A woman as Warden of the North?"

"A woman whose mother rode with her son through every one of his victories," Jon pointed out, though not without feeling the irony of his own admiration for Lady Stark. While she'd lived, her hatred of him had been like the noonday sun: too bright to note any detail of her beyond the outline. Now with her safely dead and gone he could see her more clearly, and in some of King Robb's success he suspected more of the mother's political maneuvering than the son's military brilliance. "A woman who survived King's Landing when stronger men all around her were dropping like flies, including our own father. I haven't seen Sansa since she was a child, Your Grace, but I'd not underestimate her."

"You think the lords will rally to her?" asked Stannis, clearly still skeptical. "They were failed badly by her brother, and she has no call on their loyalty except her maiden's name."

"It's a powerful name, Your Grace. The direwolf has flown its banner over the North for centuries; the Boltons can't wipe out that memory no matter how much blood they spill. If Lyanna Mormont and all the rest of them want a King in the North whose name is Stark, well." He tucked Sansa's message into his breast pocket. "It seems you've found her."

*note: chapters will be posted once a day from April 18 to May 11. Some will be shorter than others, but hopefully this schedule will work for people who a) like to know when they can read the whole thing in one go and b) like to read chapter by chapter as they come.

Just to confirm: we all agree that this cannot be the only reason Kit broke up with Hazel, right?

I love crawling out of the depths, opening up tumblr, and seeing your art. I love it.

it is quite interesting how social media can fall to the wayside, and people on the internet can just disappear forever if they really wanted to! I admit I struggle to keep up with "public accounts", they are uniquely stressful and I solute your hibernating tenacity. always lovely to see you resurface regardless, thank you very much for the lovely compliment...

I will say in case any of my dear followers were wondering where i've gone for the past month and a half, for weeks i've been pondering how to even broach the enormity of the topic that is: I made the mistake of thinking about my most favorite character for more than 2 minutes in one sitting. I intentionally go out of my way to avoid this and have many strategies to evade this occurring because every time I do enter a sort of hermetically sealed mental chamber where it's just me and him and his life and I begin to ignore all points of previously established social contact and also my health indefinitely. It's difficult to convey the emotional experience of this or its psychic magnitude. and it's hard to say "guys i really love this character!" because that's just words. you can't see it. the 10 years of obsessively thinking about some guy so intensely on&off cyclically until you've made 20 different worlds he's living in... how does one convey the depth of these without artistically depicting them as you see them to be...? i am trying to figure it out. currently planning a longform comic for my favorite and several smaller comics for others, but logically an individual can understand this takes a while... he and I have had multiple rendezvous over the past decade and I wish I had more "historical" art to show but for many of these years I have been a bit too physically disabled to draw, the past several weeks have been spent attempting to recreate his ideal form as he exists in my head. he is starting to come around!

I typed up three separate disquisitions last month to try and explain my feelings on him and none of them felt like the proper vessel to communicate this concept. which is likely for the best. the obvious answer is "just draw him". fine with this being the case, difficult when I have so many drawing ideas I'm now sitting on 100+ works in progress and they just keep accumulating since my brain generates these like an old laptop you leave in the corner of your room to mine bitcoin. in a way I'm content with this being a very "personal" experience thus far, shared with me and those in my inner social circle (really cannot emphasize to my readers enough how fandom can poison your constitution without self-checked moderation). however... I yearn to meet others who are as passionately involved with him as I am, because I think we could coalesce our ideas, and passion, into something beautiful...

^dio brando

I do find it interesting that ATLA managed to use a very black and white narrative (stop Evil Empire) to tell several character stories with some nuance, while TDP claims it has a nuanced conflict and flattens everything to try and make up for that, ultimately leading to protagonist centred morality more than anything. And if they didn’t want me to compare the two then they should have let go of the ATLA references right away.

you're right and you should say it.

the constant and shoehorned references to ATLA do not really do this show any favors. honestly might be part of the problem (why are there 7 primals with color-coded elves? to follow ATLA's pattern of marketable separable elements. why is it an adventure story with a core crew? because ATLA was like this too. etc etc.)

but anyway. yeah. ATLA had a very simple main conflict to provide a constant source of tension throughout the show (even if they dropped the ball at the last season re: the plot), and this structure allowed for episodes that explore other aspects of the setting and characters while still making everything feel relevant and tied together by said conflict. it's not some arthouse show by any means, but it has good compelling story work into it. genuinely great show.

tdp immediately opens up with the nuance and it never really delves deeper. you'd think that opening with characters being aware of the cycle of violence stuff would be interesting and the show would explore that more, but it just... flatlines there. there's no progression or graduation or exploration of themes as the seasons go on like in ATLA. very rarely are there new questions being asked or arcs that feel sensical.

honestly the main characters having to be perfect in every situation is the biggest problem with tdp. the mains are not allowed to have shortcomings or mistaken judgements or anything to meaningfully interact in any way with the nuanced set-up. they emotionally exist entirely outside it, which ends up making them the Messiahs of Peace Who Can Do No Wrong. good for fandoms i guess, people bitched and whined about bato and the water tribe for years. but it's not very good for storytelling.

and also, they're just bad characters and the writers can't put two and two together while still asking you to take their world very seriously.

anyways i'm just rambling at this point. good observation.

It's been months since this event ended and I realized I never posted the rest of the chocobox rewards I'm gomen

(I genuinely hope to do this again next year!!!!)

pleased to report that my band director, who normally restrains himself from acting too deranged, loses all sense of control when it's a Thursday evening and he's spent the last 72 hours around a bunch of highschoolers

just saw one of the weirdest movies today, on the request of my mom, because, "it's funny as hell". The movie was "Being John Malkovich" and she was right. it was one hell of a ride of a funny movie

【please do not reupload!】

her sanity is either going to slowly deteriorate throughout the episodes or she'll come out of this okay

I should wait till wednesday to post but I can't refrain, so, posting a small snippet of what I've been doing this past month (been reworking chapter 3 of willa's dark fic.... why does writing have to take so damn long)

“You haven’t touched your food.”

“That’s because I’m tied to a fuckin’ chair, John.”

“Ah, right.” His chin juts up, signaling one of his men over.

“What?” She snorts when the peggie lifts a fork full of mashed potatoes to her mouth. “Not gonna make airplane noises too?” Begrudgingly, she leans forward, knowing that she needed the food and to continue playing this role. “Gotta say, it’s better than that other godawful concoction the other night. Are you sure you made this?” This time she directs the question at John, smiling when his fork stops halfway to his mouth.

“You should be grateful I’m doing this at all, Deputy. I could have left you down there with the others.”

“Oh, yes! I am sooo grateful John. Thank you for taking me out of your metal prison and putting me into a wooden one.” Taking another, more forceful bite, she cringes when her teeth scrape against the fork, wanting nothing more than to feed herself for once. But she had yet to earn that privilege. God forbid she stab a fork into someone, as if she wouldn’t just use her teeth if she really wanted to. "So what, are we trauma bonding now or something?"

"What?"

"Well, you shared your trauma then pried mine out too. So what's that make us, hm?"

John stabs the fork into his steak and lifts it to his mouth, chewing thoughtfully after. "I'm trying to help you, Deputy. Don't you see that?"

She leans forward, taking a bite when the peggie lifts the fork to her mouth. Now it's her turn to chew thoughtfully. "What about your parents, John?” Silence. Not even the peggie guards make a noise, though they do exchange nervous glances. "Let's talk about that. About how you broke up your own family… landed yourself in an even worse situation." She tilts her head, satisfied when his jaw clenches with anger. "Alone."

"Enough!" He slams a fist on the table, causing his plate to jump and drawing a few eyes from the guards outside. "We're done here." The chair scrapes against the floor and the thump of his aggravated footsteps slowly fade away.

"Was it somethin' I said?" She flashes the peggie at her side a shit eating grin.

I didn’t say this yesterday but I’m so glad that the Dragon Prince is getting good again. Like I’m getting excited for where the story is going now

Man, Helluva is not as funny for me as it used to, Hazbin Hotel is in coma, Villainous six feet underground...

All the hopes and dreams I had in 2018-2019 for those two creators are being crushed so far. Fuck... Fucking fuck.

Glad you're back and relieved you're okay! How're you feeling about time and tide these days?

Here’s a little bit of the next chapter of time&tide that I wrote in the airport a few days ago!

(Anakin is not doing gr8 rn)

The room is untouched, and Anakin is ruined. It’s so—it’s so unfair. Anakin is shattered in a way time will never fix, in a way time has only made worse, and the fucking room looks pristine, like Anakin had never—like nothing had—like it was all—

It takes hours to struggle to his feet, and he isn’t sure he’ll be able to hold his own weight until he’s already vertical.

It’s not fair that the room is spotless, everything in its space, everything neat and where it belongs and Anakin has lost the only place he’s ever belonged.

Lifting the holocron nearest to him is hard. It takes minutes to convince his fingers to unwrap from the fist they’ve formed and then to grip the edges of the disc and raise it off its rest.

Anakin, don’t, a voice that sounds somehow as weary as his master and as scandalized as his lover murmurs in his ear, but both men are dead. Both men are gone.

The shattering of the holocron against the floor is louder than the whisper of a ghost.

It’s easier to lift the second; it feels right to throw it as hard as he can and watch it break as well.

It feels good to destroy, and it feels even better to look at the wreckage and know he caused it. The next person who steps into this room will be able to tell with just one look that something has happened, that something terrible has happened.

Adults really be like "your teens are the best years of your life" and then wonder why Gen Z wants to die. Like damn if this is as good as it gets whats even the point of wanting to see the future