#I know I shouldn’t but I do and I feel so stupid
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City Pigeons Bleed Green - Part 15
Danny was sitting on his bed, legs crossed with his blue bear set on his lap. He was stroking a thumb over it’s nose, gaze absently out the window.
Jason leaned against the door frame. “Danny?”
The blue eyes snapped to Jason. They were a different color from Bruce’s, just slightly. There was that damning green ring around the outside of the iris, just like Jason’s own, but the green bled less into the blue for Danny.
“You okay?”
“Yeah, sorry,” Danny said with a small smile and a duck of his head. He moved his hand from the bear’s nose to rub at the back of his neck. “I guess it’s just been a long day.”
“Makes sense, lot of busyness all day,” Jason agreed. It really had been. From meeting Steph with breakfast to games after when Tim joined them at lunch, new phone in hand, and then with Duke there briefly for dinner, fully suited up, the safe house had been full all day. Jason had worried about it being too much, but Danny seemed happy, if slightly quiet. But then again, Danny was almost always quiet. “Do you need me to stay? Nightwing will be here in about two hours to change over with B.B., but I’ll stay if you need me to.”
“No, you should go,” Danny insisted. “I’ll just be asleep, I figure I’m going to crash after today.”
Jason smiled a little. It was nice to have Danny sound more like a kid lately. “I bet. Call me if you need, O will make sure that the number on the phone patches into my comms.”
“What if you’re busy?”
“Then O will talk to you herself or pass you to another Bat. There’s always one of us around for you.”
Danny’s smile looked a little wobbly as he nodded, and Jason gave into ruffling the kid’s hair before he left to go make a much needed appearance at Crime Alley.
-
“You’re healing well,” Nigthwing said as he smoothed down the last bandage.
“Yeah,” Danny said softly, ruffling the towel one more time through his hair so that he didn’t have to look at Nightwing.
It was still a marvel to be touched gently like that.
They all showed such care with him and his wounds. It made everything all the more obvious to Danny. Nightwing and the others were interested to see if he was healing so that he could be well. His par— they had been interested for far different reasons.
He hadn’t seen it when he was a kid with scrapped knees from falling off his bike.
Now he couldn’t unsee it.
He was always an experiment to them, wasn’t he? He was never their kid. If he had been their kid they wouldn’t have been able to cut into— to take— to do… to do….
“Danny?”
Danny sucked in a sharp breath through his nose and tried to blink away the memories. “What?”
“There you are.” Nightwing’s smile was sad as he brushed back a lock of Danny’s hair. Hadn’t Nightwing just been wearing gloves?
Danny ran his fingers over his bear, grounding himself in the soft texture. His bear. He was on the couch wrapped in a blanket holding his bear.
He had just been in the bathroom.
Danny blinked slowly. “I, um…”
“It’s okay. You just went away for a bit. I moved you when you stopped answering me. It’s been about seven minutes. Nothing’s happened.”
“Oh.”
Hadn’t he been getting better? He hadn’t thought… Why did he have to think about them?
“Hey, Danny, it’s okay, you don’t have to cry,” Nightwing said, “or, you know, cry if you need to! That’s okay too. Just, we’re not going to let anyone hurt you here.”
Danny sniffled and turned his head to rub his face against the blanket. Nightwing shouldn’t promise that— he couldn’t promise that. They didn’t know what Danny was. They didn’t know who was after him. It was unfair to ask that of them— to make them feel like they had to promise him that.
“I’m okay,” Danny said with a watery smile.
He wasn’t.
“How about a movie?” Nightwing suggested and Danny was grateful for the out.
He tried not to cling as they settled into the couch to watch through the Jurassic Park movies.
“The newest one is stupid in all the right ways,” Nightwing said cheerfully. He must have known that Danny wanted to cling, because he tucked Danny close after everything was set up.
Danny watched the movie without seeing it.
They thought they had to take care of him.
They couldn’t promise that. They didn’t even have the whole story. Sure, Hood had died too, but he was so different than Danny in that. Hood had come back. Hood was alive. Danny didn’t count as alive anymore, not even in this form.
Did Danny ever really count as alive?
He was just an experiment.
A test.
He was never supposed to have ever been.
Danny let his eyes close. What movie were they on now? Did it matter?
Did any of it matter?
He wasn’t supposed to have ever been.
Maybe he shouldn’t have ever been, but there he was. There he was, dead and alive. A child and a monster. And he knew, worst of all, because of what he was they would never let him go. Danny knew that, it’s why he had run to Gotham. He thought that maybe if he could just get the money to leave the country somehow… Bruce Wayne had to be able to do that. Even if— even though there’s no way that Wayne would care about Danny, he had hoped maybe he could get the help. A one off to be out of Bruce Wayne’s life forever and not a media scandal. He just needed to…
The gentle fingers carding through his hair started to chase away Danny’s thoughts.
But the Bats had found him.
The Bats had found him and the Bats cared.
Danny wanted that. Danny wanted that so desperately that it hurt him. He’d been just taking advantage of it too, hadn’t he? Because he wanted it he’d been taking it without them knowing what he was. And now they were acting like they wanted him to stay.
But they didn’t know.
Danny’s breath caught in his throat, feeling like it was choking him.
He had run to Gotham. He had run to Gotham but that wouldn’t stop them. They would find him here. They would find him and because of him they would find Hood. They would find Hood and take him too. And then they would find Robin. They would find all these wonderful, kind people that had been touched by death in all these ways and they would take them. They would take them and cut them apart and—
Danny bit his lip so that he couldn’t make a sound.
They would find him if he made a sound.
“It’s okay Danny, just rest.”
Danny’s eyes snapped open. The afternoon light from the window in his room was playing across his face. His heart thudded in his chest. He was afraid.
But he was afraid with a sense of certainty that he hadn’t had before.
-
“Go get Danny for lunch,” Jason said as he flipped the sandwich on the pan with the same intense focus that he did everything these days.
Dick had to fight back a smile. Getting to be around his little wing so much over the past weeks had been great. Sure, Jason was still mulish and snapped easily, but Dick had also gotten to see so much more of who Jason was behind that defense. Dick loved getting to see that. Giving into the urge to smile, Dick gave a little salute and swung himself off the counter.
Maybe if they were lucky all this could continue after they got Danny settled. It had to, right? Jason seemed pretty attached to Danny, not that Dick could talk, so Jason was sure to come over to see their new brother. Dick would still have time with Jason.
Dick gave a soft knock on Danny’s door before opening it a crack. If Danny was still asleep, Dick didn’t want to startle him.
Except Danny wasn’t still asleep.
Danny wasn’t even in the room.
The bed was fixed and Danny’s tablet and phone sat neatly in the middle.
“He just in the bathroom,” Dick tried to assure himself even as his instincts screamed that was wrong. Silently, silently purely out of habit, Dick approached the bed.
The tablet’s screen was on.
Dick picked it up with hands that only stayed steady from years of training.
No.
No, no, no—
“Jason!”
-
Thank you.
Thank you for saving me and caring for me and wanting me.
Thank you. You all mean so much to me and that’s why I have to go.
I have to go before they find me and then find you all too.
I can’t let them find you. I’ll never forget you.
Don’t look for me.
-Danny
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AN: *puts on my halo* I'm innocent?
This prob could use a few more editing passes but I am still sick and tired so taaaada (no concrit needed, it will get edited before ao3). Hopefully you all still enjoyed(?) it! Stay delightful, darlings.
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congrats on 100 omg !!!! may i please order a sickly sweet sprinkle sundae? <3 your vibe is simply incredible
❝ THANK YOU FOR YOUR ORDER、 @bunn3333s .ᐟ ⟡ HERE IS YOUR RECEIPT FROM CAFÉ YUME ⟡
𐙚SICKLY SWEET SPRINKLE SUNDAE：sickly sweet it makes you throw up!
𐙚 dish desc。．a not so romantic dinner sunday made for you after you tried running away.
．。𝜗𝜚 labels。 general yandere themes, manipulation, filthy, mentions of aphrodisiacs, no i promise i write for other characters too, heavy brainrot, MINORS DNI
．。𝜗𝜚 ingredients。sunday
WAS HE ANGRY?
it was hard to tell by the way SUNDAY smiles at you with eyes hollow like shells, gesturing for you to take a seat at the lavish dinner table. your fiancé, although more of a forced engagement, was undoubtedly a good cook. the dishes set across the spacious wooden table cloaked with heavenly silk were straight from a 5-star course meal at the Reverie, each one tingling your nostrils with an exquisitely savory smell.
the situation might have been very flattering if you haven’t tried to run away from him moments ago.
“please, take a seat. i made it just for you, you know.” he laughs shortly at your hesitance, but his eyes pierce through you, like a predator waiting for its prey.
you feel your heart thud against your chest as you sit down tentatively- the scrape of the chair only scratching your nerves even more. although the scent around you tempted your stomach, your mouth felt paradoxically dry and you felt like throwing up. you felt uncomfortable, as if a thousand ants were crawling over your skin by his stare that never once leaves you.
“you deserve to eat,” he breaks your discomfort with a gentle hand that guides your own to the silver utensils that are far too expensive for you. “you’ve been such a good girl.”
the way he says it tells you he doesn’t think that at all. but how can you possibly deny him, when you’ve already done it once? you should be grateful he’s even allowing you to eat.
but as the steak reaches your lips, you feel a sudden churn in your throat that tells you you really shouldn’t eat it. sunday taps you with the other hand on your shoulder- a subtle warning, but when you don’t do as he says, he sighs in condescension and pries your mouth open to force it in, caring little about the way your saliva stains his pristine gloves.
the meat surprisingly melts on your tongue like heaven- it’s juicy and just so right. it’s the most perfect bite of meat you’ve ever tasted, which shows on your surprised expression which makes your fiancé scold you—
“what did i tell you, dear? I didn’t put anything in there. this indeed says something about how little you trust me.”
and when he removes his and from yours, telling you that he’s not going to cook anymore- you beg him that you’re sorry for mistrusting him. oh, what a sin you’ve committed— how dare you even doubt sunday, who always showers you with such love you don’t deserve after your attempt to run?
he pretends to give in to your pretty pleas when you hug him while sobbing about how delicious it is, all the while telling you that you’re such a stupid little dove he has to teach constantly until she learns he manners.
little do you know, the meat you’re chewing has an oddly sweet aftertaste. the more sunday feeds you with his hand over your own, subtly coaxing you to eat the entire thing, all the while making you think it’s your own choice to eat it, the more your brain fuzzes, your vision blurry, slowly drowning your own coherent thoughts with such a primal need that builds itself to the surface, a desire that morphs into a cacophony in your head that chants that you need him so badly.
and he’ll drag out the drugged thoughts of yours, acting as if you’re the one who badly wants him to bury in his thick cock inside you- when in reality, sunday is the one who desires it so bad. he’s wanted to stuff you full with his own cum- make you his, trapping you with his children since the day he’s laid eyes on you, but a true manipulator always plays the longer game, and he was willing to wait.
now, his long-awaited fantasies are fulfilled as he watches your hole gushing around his cock, whimpering his name as you clutch the sheets- pretty bite marks decorating every nook and cranny. and fuck, oh it makes him feel like he’s finally flown to his desired heaven. he feels complete.
he feels like his twisted paradise is near.
#𐙚．。articles#honkai star rail x reader#honkai star rail smut#sunday x reader#hsr smut#honkai star rail yandere#sunday smut#hsr sunday x reader#sunday x you#hsr x reader#yandere hsr#yandere sunday#yandere hsr x reader
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kate hcs? like what u did w nika plsss
・❥・- gf!kate hcs
warnings: harddd smut under the divider at the end and suggestive content :p
afab!r
a/n: i genuinely love doing hcs more than writing full on fics cause my lord i cannot write a whole story without going off track and ruining the entire thing… got carried away like always. also this is longgg overdue as well. i’ve been procrastinating everything and i feel bad for not releasing anything sooner like i promised. thank you for being patient w me lolz
i’m glad that we all agree… kate is theeee golden retriever girlfriend
i mean who wouldn’t say that
blonde masc that gives off happy vibes and literally has a tattoo that says ‘sunshine’
treats you like a real fuckin’ princess like she knows what she’s doing
okay kate lovesssss the kids
her and carson are so adorbs 💔
when someone asks her what her profession is she is not gonna say a pro hooper
shes gonna say that shes carson’s aunt 😭
def takes you over to kennedy’s house when she’s gone and makes you babysit carson w her 🥹
loves when they hold her fingers she thinks its the cutest thing in the world and you photograph the whole thing
spoils you fosho!!!!
mention one lil thing and shes buying it for you
new clothes, bags, shoes, jewelry, accessories. ANYTHING YOU WANNTTT!!!
yk how she likes tswift…
takes you to a concert for your bday if you do too
and wears that stupid cowboy hat 😒
but you guys would be matching soooo
DEFINITELY loves physical touch
hands hands handssss
they’re all over you in public like she is not afraid to show people you’re hers 😩
on your waist or hips. her fingers are always on you somehow
also does it romantically like she’ll intertwine pinkies with you and always holds your hand no matter the situation
the thumb thing is her favorite
loves pda foshooooo
i don’t think she’d be possessive but i feel like shes the jealous type
sees you w a girl at the bar or sumn and starts to FREAK!
she’ll sit next to you immediately and is touching you all over so that the girl goes away 😭
or shes burying her face into your neck and kissing your skin in front of her
WHEW!!!
everyone can disagree w me on this but i see her as lil spoon when you guys cuddle…
FIGHT ME ALL YOU WANT BUT THIS GIRL LOVEEESSSS WHEN YOU PLAY W HER HAIR WHILE SHE SLEEPS
kisses your neck or your collar while shes half asleep 😣
back rubs are her fav thing too
shes the one getting them tho cause she’s always so tense after practice and she believes that if you do it she’ll feel better already
we all know shes a passenger princess.
she probably has a car but refuses to drive it alone when you’re there cause she thinks she’ll crash it or something
lets you wear her clothes
if she was taller (most likely) she’d have you in all her shirts and stuff cause they look bigger on you
you think you shouldn’t wear anything under cause it hides everything anyways and kate agrees
in reality she just loves the easy access…
total baby when she’s drunk
and super clingy :(
arguments don’t happen often but when they do it ends real fast cause she knows how to calm you down 🥹🥹🥹
if anything though the arguments start cause its about something real stupid
teaches you how to play basketball if it isn’t your sport
can’t cook for SHIET!!!! burns eggs easily or somethin like that cause she can’t bring herself to learn
knows how to bake tho 100%
super adventurous
have you guys seen the pic of her zip lining… like she’s fearless when it comes to that stuff
hits the gym and weight room every fuckin day w you so she can build those arms 🤫
spots you when you think its too hard
KATE IS A MUNCH
ik y’all have seen that pussy eater jaw…
kisses are her thing as well
making out w you is the highlight of her night week day whatever!
initiates it all the time cause she knows you love it too
whines during it too me thinks…
when she needs you to shut up during it i firmly believe that she’ll kiss you to muffle the noises 😩
she isn’t straightforward but when she wants to she’ll make it obvious.
GROANER AND GRUNTERRRRR FOR SURE
cusses all the time
hard breather too
she’ll breathe out a bunch of words that you can barely hear cause of your own noises 💀 but you love hearing them cause you know she’s engaged
her strap game is crazy though i can tell…
feel like she’d sometimes just wear it for fun
she’ll wear it just for the looks and not to use it on you 😭😭
she doesn’t wanna have sex w you for her pleasure b/c during it, everything is about YOUUU
your pleasure >>>>> anything else
soft dom 100% but will also switch sometimes if thats what you’re feeling
especially after games like she loves having sex after cause she knows you’ll do everything for her
FUCKIN LOVES WHEN YOU RIDE HER ITS HER FAVORITE THING EVER
always grabbing your hips really tight when you do and theres always marks afterwards on them
and she likes seeing your face when you’re on top
missionary is her thing
eye contact during sex is important
to her at least
LOVES DIRTY TALKING
degrades you but only when you’re being cocky about something while she fucks the shit outta you
i don’t think she’d be aggressive but she’d be a lil rough when she’s upset
hickeys.
leaves marks EVERYWHEREEE
in the most visible spots so that people can see them when you two are in public
only happens during makeout seshes or when you guys are havin your own time tho
she so talks you through it.
always reassuring and asking if you feel good or not
“is this okay?” “does that hurt?” “it’s okay, baby. i’m right here, i promise” “take your time” lil things like that
praises you hella too
call me cringe or whatever
but she’ll call you a good girl if she has to…
when she eats you out she’s SOOO FOCUSED
quiet the wholeeee time but you can feel her getting all breathy against you
kisses your thighs after you cum so you know she’s still there 😞❤️
aftercare queen
she’s already cleaning you up and getting you a new pair of clothes or running a warm bath for the both of you 🥸
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ღ A helpful dose of assistance ღ
Pairing: Employee!Tomura X CEO!Reader
Synopsis: Tomura gets a raise after many years of hard work meeting you, his boss. The promotion sends him to a higher position becoming your personal assistant. And with this whole new job comes new responsibilities.
Warning: cunnilingus, p in v sex, oral (F recieving), creampie, office sex, kinda power dynamics, fluff at the end
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Tomura was working really hard for the last two years. Working overtime and… quite isolating himself from everyone. Always looking formal and spending most of his break time working. The time of the year comes along again. Promoting. You thought about one person to promote. You are the CEO and every statistic spoke to itself. Tomura was the best. He deserves a promotion. You called him in your office before the end of the shift. “Tomura, nice to see you.” You smiled at him and saw his confused and… scared face. He looks so nervous. “Sit down, I have something to tell you.” You smile at him and he nervously sits down in front of you. “I went through the data and the statistics. And it speaks to itself. You did an amazing job here and I’m really happy.” You smile at him. “Are you firing me?” He mumbles and you stare at him confused. “No! Of course not. I… I’m promoting you for a better position. You will be my assistant.” You beam at him and he looks at you slightly confused but then relieved. “Thank you so much Miss.” You smile at him. You give him all the instructions. He will be your first assistant.
Weeks flew by and he finally got comfortable with his new job. You are quite routine based. He knocks on your office door and walks inside, placing a cup of coffee on your table. Today is different. You are exhausted since you came to work and irritated. “Do you need help with anything?” He mumbles and hands you your planner for today. “No, not really Tomu. It’s okay. Oh and please don’t forget to call the radio for the interview. We need to plan it for next week on Tuesday.” You smile at him, but he feels that the smile isn’t genuine. Something naggs you in your head. Tomura silently leaves your office and starts working. But the thought of you always lingers in his mind. He spends so much time with you. Your body, your attitude, your everything. You are always on his mind. Maybe it is not healthy. You are the CEO, his boss, he shouldn’t think of you this way.
The time flew by and he is recently taking notes from a meeting that you lead. Everyone can sense that you are irritated. The meeting ends and everyone leaves. You huff and start looking through your phone. Then you groan and tuck the phone away. Something is definitely going on. “Um. Your shift ends in half an hour.” Tomura tries to lighten the mood. You look at him and smile at him. That smile. That beautiful caring smile. “Tomu, I’m sorry but… Can you get me a coffee please?” You mumbled and he nodded. He hands you the notes and then leaves for your coffee. You sat down in the office and groaned. You need a savior. You need a D. A proper and passionate fuck. It was so long. Since you started the firm. You never found the time for anyone and you can feel that your body needs it. Your pussy throbs the whole day and it’s annoying you want to cry. You whimper and lay your head on the table. This is so bad. You don’t know what to do. You don’t hear Tomu walk in and place your coffee down. “You okay?” He whispers and you look at him with tears in your eyes you didn’t know were there. “What’s wrong?” He said worried. You sat up and rub your eyes. “OH um Nothing I.” You mumbled and then sigh. “I have such a primitive problem. It’s stupid.” You mumble and he looks at you. Then he kneels before you. “What is wrong. It won’t be stupid. I won’t laugh.” He promises and you blush. Your whole face is red and you cover it in your hands. “I need to make out.” You whisper into your hands and Tomura looks at you confused. “What?” You chuckle. “No, It’s really stupid. Thank you for the coffee.” You mumble, totally mortified. Why did you say it? In front of him. He stands up and silently leaves. He heard you. He heard you clearly. You were irritated because of this? He sits down by his desk and notices his tent in his pants. He gulps and tries to stop thinking about you and your… perfect cleavage. The phone rings and he takes it. “Good evening, We have got a delivery for Miss Y/n L/n.” Tomura quickly answers it and goes to pick it up.
Tomura walks into your office with a package. “I have a package for you.” He mumbles and gives it to you. You look at it and almost choke on your coffee. “Thank you so much Tomu. Um. You can leave.” You smile at him. When he closed the door, you quickly opened the box. It’s your new two toys. You send it to the wrong address. Thank god that Tomura didn’t see it. You pick up the tentacle dildo and look at it. It’s beautiful. So long and… The design is great. You gulp and hide it. You don’t know if you can wait till the night. You really need it. Tomura barges in and walks to you with a paper. You quickly stand up and push the box out of the way. “We just got an important message from our biggest partner. They want us to-” The box hit the floor and the plastic filling scatters all over the floor. “I’m really sorry Miss.” He says and hands you the papers then kneels down grabbing the box. You look at the paper and groan. It is not important. It was just a notice, nothing important. He is still nervous in his position. Then you realize it. The box. You quickly kneel down, but it is late. Tomura is already holding it in his hands. A tentacle dildo and a bullet vibrator. You blush madly and look at him, noticing his raging boner. “Ah, this is so inappropriate. I’m really sorry.” You mumble and quickly grab it and hide it in the box and under your desk. Tomura can’t help but look at your thighs. Those big silk thighs. He gulps and bears himself with every courage he has. “I. I heard you before.” He whispers quickly and closes his eyes. Ready for anything. Even for you firing him. “Ugh, I’m really sorry. I’m just.” You sighed. “I’m really desperate, you know. It has been so long and… I’m the one working and every guy is like oh, you are a strong woman, you can be independent. And other things. Nothing helps me now and my body is on fire all day. I don’t even know what to do anymore. No one ever made time for me-” “I will make time for you.” He says and kisses you. The kiss is firm, but also sweet and caring. You pull away and look into his eyes. “I’m your assistant. I will help you with everything.” He whispers with lustful eyes. You look at the clock. It’s 6 pm. Everyone should have left already. “Will this be our secret?” You whisper and he smirks. “Our little secret. Whatever you need, boss.” He whispers and kisses you passionately. He grabs your hips and sits you on your desk.
This is going to end up badly. He is your assistant… Thoughts quickly left your head when he started kissing you on your neck. You started unbuttoning your shirt. Tomura kneels down and unstraps your heels. He looks at you with hunger in your eyes and kisses your feet. “You must be so swollen and tired.” He whispers and starts to massage your foot. “Ugh, fuck it. Come with me.” You mumble and stand up. You grabbed the box, your bag and quickly drag him out of the office. “Let’s continue in my apartment, shall we?” You mumble. Tomura smiles and grabs his things. “Perfect plan boss.” He smiles and walks you to your car.
The ride home was pretty quick. But you couldn’t help it. Your body couldn't handle it. You and Tomura got into your apartment and locked your door. His kisses travel from your neck to your shoulders and to your breasts. You fall with him on your bed and start to undress. Both of your clothes fall on the floor. You blush. He looks so stunning. Lean, but toned body, visible V-line and a small happy trail from black hair. And then his dick. Only slightly trimmed, slightly hairly, quite big, pretty large and veiny. His balls heavy. You gulp and look into his eyes. He looks at you and then at your breasts. Two perfect big mounds. He grabs them and smirks. They are spilling out of his hands. His hands travel down your tummy and his fingers hook under your panties. Lace black panties. Perfect. He slips them down and throws them on the floor. He kisses your thighs and slowly nears your hand. Your fingers in his hair stop him. He looks at you confused. “Please. I need you. I need all of you. I can’t wait.” You whine out and he chuckles. “So needy.” He smirks and slowly sinks his tip in your core. You whimper and wiggle your hips. You slowly feel him sink into you, filling you to the brim. You moan and relax. Finally. You look at him and then at the place where he enters you. He grabs you and lays you down in the center of the bed between pillows. “I shall treat you like a real princess.” He smiles at you and you giggle. You grab his cheek and he leans closer. You look into his beautiful dark eyes and kiss him. His lips were rough, but so sweet. “I wanted this.” He smiles. “I wanted you for so long.” He sighs and you smile. You grab his tie and lower his face to yours. “Then be a good assistant and fuck me properly.” You grin at him and he grins at you. He firmly grips your shoulders and starts pounding into you. You mewl out and throw your head back. You were missing this. He looks at you and smiles. He grabs your legs and pushes them to your chest. He starts ramming into you with full force, his balls slamming against your ass. You moan out grabbing his hand. You can feel your climax coming. Maybe it is too much? “T-tomu.” You moan out and he whines. “That’s it. Say it. Say it louder.” He grins and kisses you. Then he starts kissing your breasts. “Tomu… I can’t. Oh, Tomu.” You moan and close your eyes. Maybe it is too much. Then it hits you. The sudden wave of your orgasm. You moan out in his arms, feeling his hands holding you. In his embrace. He quickly pulls away and comes on your tummy. He huffs and looks at you. “Sorry… for not lasting longer.” He mumbles. You chuckle and let him lay down beside you. “Thank you so much.” You smile and cuddle into him.
The next week was amazing. Everyone felt your happy aura. You beamed at everyone and helped everyone. The meetings were more productive. But the biggest change is the smile that was on your face when you looked at Tomura. That honest smile with… love in your eyes. Tomu always brought you coffee. Three times in a day and lunch. But everytime he stays for a little longer. Making you feel happy and satisfied. It was one of those times. Tomura brought you coffee ten minutes ago and now, you are resting in your chair, eyes closed and enjoying the feeling of Tomu’s skillful tongue. You look at your planner. Just two more hours and you are finally done. You hum happily and look at Tomura. He is enjoying it so much down there. Kneeling on the carpet in his clothes that are too tight for his liking, focusing everything on the little bundle of nerves that was glistening with his spit. He huffs and pulls away smiling at you. “I… I thought about something…” He mumbled kissing your pearl. Your fingers entangled in his beautiful hair. “What is it?” You mused. He looks at you. His eyes are sparkling and wide. Just this one look and something just snapped. Something inside of you. “Can it wait a little longer?” You huff and he looks at you and then nods. You quickly sit down on your desk and he stands up. He quickly unbuckles his belt and frees his painfully throbbing dick. His left hand grabs your hips and his right hand helps his cock to nudge at your heated center. His dick slowly sinks right into you. You whimper and look at the door. “Don’t worry. No one will come in.” He whispers and kisses you passionately. You moan into his mouth and kiss him back. His hips start moving, his pelvis brushing against yours. He grins and holds your beautiful silk legs, pulling them to his chest and hugging your legs. You quietly moan out. Oh how you loved your service, your personal assistant. You grab his tie and hold him close, kissing his lips. This happened too many times. Files scattered around the floor, coffee almost spilled, the smell of the sex everywhere and the picture of him above you. Sweaty, but confident about his work. His pace sped up and became sloppy. His thumb encircled your clit, steadying at the perfect pace that has you speechless. You mewl out and come on the spot, squirting a little. And then you felt it. His cock pumps you full of his white seed, making you feel full. He huffs and slowly pulls out, quickly covering your fluttering hole with your black panties. Your eyes slowly close and he helps you sit on your chair. He held before you your coffee and you slowly drank it. “Feeling better?” He smiles and you nod while arranging your businesswoman dress. “What did you want to tell me?” You smile at him, watching him trying to look formal again. He looks at you and tries to look confident. “I… I want to ask if you would like to go on a date with me? To a restaurant… or to get a coffee… A warm coffee.” He mumbles and looks away feeling stressed. He wanted to tell you this for so long. The hookups were amazing, truly, but since the first time, he caught feelings for you. “Of course. I… Of course I will go out with you. That is so amazing.” You smile at him and stand up, holding his hands. He smiles at you. “That’s great! If you want, we can go to dinner together. Wherever. It’s up to you.” He beams at you. “So we will meet out of your office at 17:05?” He smiles and you nod. He beams and leaves to his desk.
You look at your work and smile. So it’s the first official date… It will be nice and pretty. And you can’t catch feelings for him. Because you had caught them long ago…
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A/N: Thank you so much for reading this oneshot, it makes me really happy that someone enjoys my writing!
#bnha shigaraki#my hero academia shigaraki#mha shigaraki#shigaraki imagine#shigaraki tomura#tenko shimura x reader#shigaraki smut#tomura shigaraki#shigaraki#employeeshigaraki
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Anything at all
| “If I let him do this to me, what else will I allow? Anything, anything, anything." - Catherynne M. Valente |
Soarynn stares at her reflection in the mirror.
She doesn’t see much. Just a plain, simple girl.
“A well-behaved Capitol girl,” he’d say to correct her.
Her dress is long and clings to her figure in places she’s not too comfortable with, but it’s not really up to her. It’s up to him.
Whatever he wants her to wear, she puts on. Whatever he wants her to eat, she eats. Whatever he wants her to do, she does.
She does anything for him.
She wishes she could do it out of love, devotion, joy. She does it out of fear. It wasn’t always this way. He wasn’t always this way.
When Soarynn met Coriolanus Snow he was utterly charming and polite. Even though he was five years older than her. She had just graduated from the Academy at eighteen and her father had brought her to a small gathering with some of his associates.
That’s when he introduced them to each other.
Soarynn had been so shy, so reluctant to look Coriolanus in the eye. He was so tall and handsome, he was someone who shouldn’t spend a moment with a girl like her and yet he was infatuated with her.
Despite their age gap, he took her on dates, brought her roses from his grandmother's garden, and showered her with gifts and promises.
Her father was more than pleased. Not only had he secured his daughter a proper husband, but himself a good business partner.
Coriolanus proposed a month after she turned nineteen. They got married that December and her father died in February. Heart failure. No one saw it coming, and certainly not Soarynn who adored her father with all her heart.
She had been gutted by his death. Only comforted by the knowledge that her husband would be there for her. How stupid she had been.
Two weeks after Glen Nightingale’s funeral, Soarynn and Coriolanus sat in a big, fancy office where she signed several documents that allowed Coriolanus full access to her father’s business assets. Since Soarynn was a woman, there was no need for her to look after her father’s business.
Coriolanus took over everything including her life.
It was remarkable how well he hid it. The monster inside of him. It was as if a flip had switched. Suddenly he was cold, harsh, and bitter. The gentleman she once knew was gone, vanished, only appearing when they were in public.
He took everything from her.
Everything.
꧁ ꧂
Her hand rests on her stomach, a strange feeling still lingers there since she took that test. A pregnancy test.
Coriolanus has been more than vocal about wanting to have children, to grow their family, to expand the great Snow household. But Soarynn has been…hesitant. He’s already so strict with her, so harsh and cruel. She can’t imagine what he’d be like with children.
The naive part of her hopes he’d be kinder, more patient, and gentle. But it's wishful thinking and much to her dismay, she’s four weeks pregnant. Soarynn had hoped it was some mistake, a false positive, a defective test.
She took three more.
All positive.
And yet she hasn’t told Coriolanus. She’ll have to tell him sooner or later, one can’t hide their pregnancy forever. Soarynn has always been on the leaner side so any weight change will be significant to her husband who keeps close track of what she consumes.
Maybe she’ll tell him tonight after their dinner. He should be in a good mood as long as his friends don’t say anything too vulgar for his liking.
Soarynn doesn’t really care for her husband’s friends but it’s mostly because they’re all much older than her. All of them have been married much longer and remember the war more clearly than she does. And she knows how those women look at her, some with envy for her youthfulness, some with pity for the same reason.
“She’s so young,” one of them had whispered one night when Soarynn had attended a gala with Coriolanus. They had only been dating for a few months and it had been one of their first public appearances. It had caused some different reactions from different people.
Most men patted Coriolanus on the back whereas most women eyed Soarynn with contempt.
“That’s how he likes them,” another had whispered back, “easy to mold, easy to break. I’ll bet he gets her pregnant a month after their wedding if all goes to plan.”
A statement like that had horrified Soarynn who had only been trying to find the bathroom and it stayed in the back of her head ever since. They were right though, he had molded her, broken her. Without her father, all she had was Coriolanus and he loved it.
It didn’t help that she was rather shy and quiet compared to some of the other wives who were very opinionated. She had been the witness to one too many arguments between husband and wife after both had consumed far too much alcohol.
Coriolanus always spoke about it after, spoke about his disdain for outspoken women whose husbands let them walk all over them. “In a society like ours, there are rules, hierarchies, levels. And a woman’s place will always be below that of a man’s. Some of my friends would do well to remind their wives of that.”
If Coriolanus wanted a quiet wife he certainly got one. After revealing his true colors, Soarynn did her best to avoid him at all costs, only speaking to him when necessary.
But Soarynn would have to speak to him today, to get his approval on her current wardrobe for tonight. The dress was fine, and the shoes were more than uncomfortable but Coriolanus Snow was a man who expected his wife to always wear heels. Her jewelry was kept simple yet tasteful, classy enough to show off the Snow’s wealth without being seen as too flashy.
It takes a lot of effort to look effortless.
Soarynn ran her fingers through her blonde hair, making sure she hadn’t curled it too tightly like last time. Goodness knows she had gotten an earful about it from Coriolanus after they got home from the theatre.
The soft sound of purring is what pulls Soarynn from her thoughts and she looks down to see that Petunia has made her way into the closet. Petunia was a graduation gift from her father, Soarynn had always wanted a cat but her father said she wasn’t mature enough to take care of one.
Soarynn likes to think that Petunia is watching over her now since her father can’t. Soarynn can feel emotions bubbling up in her throat at the thought of her father, of her home that is now empty and closed up. They still own it since everything of her fathers was left to her, but it now truly and really belongs to Coriolanus. And he’s made no effort to put it to use.
She pushes those emotions down, she can't afford to get weepy tonight. Coriolanus had made it quite clear that he expected her to move on from her father's death in a timely manner and he's held her to that expectation ever since. Even though it's been six months, she still mourns the man who truly loved her.
Soarynn crouches down to scratch Petunia behind the ears, allowing herself a small smile. Coriolanus hadn't been thrilled about the cat moving in with them after they married and that should have been the first warning sign. But Soarynn had been so blissfully happy that she agreed to keep Petunia at her childhood home. She visited almost every day so it was fine.
But once father passed away, Petunia moved in with them. She avoided Coriolanus for the most part, stayed tucked away in corners of the penthouse, only coming out to be with Soarynn. It seemed that Coriolanus preferred it that way as well.
"Let's hope he likes this dress," Soarynn says softly to the cat. He picked out the dress but Coriolanus is often unpredictable and Soarynn never knows how he'll react to certain things. She's learned to live with it for the most part, to simply nod and smile and agree with all the things he says but it gets tiring after a while.
Soarynn collects her things and puts them into her purse before leaving the closet to go find her husband. The last she saw of him was in his study, finishing up some paperwork. Soarynn slows her steps as she approaches the door, not in any rush to speak to Coriolanus.
She remembers how she used to count down the minutes until she got to see him again. How giddy she would be in anticipation of their next date. She'd fuss over her appearance, wanting to be absolutely perfect for him. Little did she know that she'd be doing the same thing a year later, but not for the sake of her own vanity but for her husband's.
The door is closed and Soarynn raises her fist and softly knocks, waiting for a response. "Yes?"
She carefully pushes the door open and peeks her head in to see Coriolanus sitting behind his desk, a glass of whiskey next to several important-looking documents, "I'm ready," she tells him. He finally looks up from his work and Soarynn inwardly cringes at the critical gaze of her husband as he looks her up and down without shame.
"You should wear a coat," is all he says, "or a shawl. I don't want people to think my wife is trying to draw attention to her by dressing like that." Soarynn bites her tongue and doesn't point out that he is the one who picked out this dress, and simply nods and forces a small smile, "Okay, I'll go find something to cover up with."
꧁ ꧂
Heavensbee Hall is decorated quite luxuriously tonight.
Soarynn holds onto her husband's arm as they walk through the main room where many social events are held. The dinner they're attending tonight however is being held in a smaller, more intimate room.
"Remember, best behavior," Coriolanus says, giving her arm a squeeze. Soarynn nods and looks up at the ceiling where intricate depictions of vines and flowers have been carved, "I know."
Coriolanus steers them away from the hallway and into a small alcove where he takes a firm grip of her jaw, almost bruising it but not quite. Soarynn's eyes widen as she's forced to look up at her domineering husband, "I don't appreciate your tone," he hisses, "and I don't appreciate little brats who are ungrateful for all I've done for them."
Soarynn tries to steady her breathing because she knows that once her heart rate picks up, tears will soon follow. She can already feel them forming as she tries so desperately to blink them away but it's futile and one escapes her grasp.
Coriolanus scoffs at the tear, "Crying will not save you, it will not excuse you from dinner and it will not keep me from reminding you of your place once we get back home. Do you understand?" He stares down at her, daring her to defy him.
Soarynn swallows and manages to nod, "Yes, I understand."
He releases her jaw and dusts off his hands, "Good. Now be my good girl and stay by my side." He leans down and presses a kiss to her lips, a lustful one which. Soarynn only returns due to necessity. She used to like kissing Coriolanus, right up until her father passed away. Every kiss since then has only been returned because of her obligation as his pretty society wife.
When he pulls away he lets out a displeased groan and looks her up and down, "You could at least act like you enjoy it Soarynn." She suppresses a sigh and takes his large hand in her small one, "I do enjoy it," she tells him sweetly even though they both know that's far from the truth. He simply gives her a sharp look before leading them back out into the hallway where several other couples are walking.
Soarynn spots Festus and Persephone Creed, the man who is undoubtedly her husband's best friend and his wife who said Soarynn seemed far too young to be dating Coriolanus Snow. Both were in attendance at their wedding of course. Festus was even the best man.
"Looks like we all arrived at the same time," Festus remarks, reaching his hand out to Coriolanus who shakes it with a smile, "So it seems," Coriolanus agrees. Soarynn stays pressed to his side, offering Festus a small smile when he turns his attention towards her, "Lovely to see you again Soarynn." She allows him to press the expected kiss to her cheek before she nods at Persephone, "It's wonderful to see you two again."
Coriolanus pulls his hand from hers and wraps his arm around her waist instead, keeping her flush to his side, "I've heard rumors that there might be a game of poker later tonight." Persephone lets out a groan that would get Soarynn in a world of trouble and she notices her husband's face slightly falter before recovering, "I don't understand why you men can't play poker on your own time. Us women would like to enjoy the night as well."
Festus simply rolls his eyes at his wife's complaints, "It was a rumor Persephone, no need to make a fuss."
Soarynn stays silent as she watches the older couple bicker back and forth before Coriolanus finally suggests that they all make their way to the dining room so they aren't late. In a way, she admires how outspoken Persephone is, how she's not afraid to voice her opinion. But she supposes that Festus isn't as strict with her as Coriolanus is.
It seems to be on her husband's mind as well because he places a kiss on the top of her head as they walk into the dining room, his silent way of praising her for a job well done at being so behaved.
Soarynn used to bask in gestures like that. A squeeze of her hand, a kiss to her temple, him tickling her waist. They all mean nothing now that she knows who Coriolanus Snow truly is.
If only she realized that sooner.
꧁ ꧂
"Felix hasn't stopped talking about the horse races since they announced when tickets will be going on sale," Domitia Ravenstill says with a groan, "as if we don't have a private box."
Soarynn nods along with all the other women, all of whose husbands also own private boxes to attend events such as horse races. It was one of the first dates Coriolanus ever took her on. He let her bet on whatever horses she wanted and anyone who saw the two together could confidently say that he adored her. What happened to that man, she wonders to herself, glancing over near the fireplace where all the men are sitting.
"Soarynn?" She looks back at the group of women who are looking at her expectantly, "Yes?" Rarely do they ever truly acknowledge her so this is a surprise. Clemensia narrows her eyes before speaking, "We asked if you and Coryo are going to be having children any time soon." Soarynn blushes at the prospect of children, especially since she technically is with child already.
However, she finds the question somewhat interesting since none of these women seem to be having children of their own. Perhaps it's an unspoken rule that she has to be the first to bear her husband's children since she's the youngest in the group of prominent Capitol wives.
Soarynn picks at her cuticles for a moment, a habit that Coriolanus despises. "I actually am pregnant," she says softly and immediately regrets it when she's met with several loud gasps. All of these women seem to be surprisingly excited for her and she does not know how to feel about that. "Oh my goodness, what a blessing, Coryo must be thrilled," Persephone gushes.
Except he doesn't know, Soarynn thinks but that's going to change quite quickly it seems as she watches Clemensia and Persephone rise from the sofa and make their way across the room toward their husbands, more specifically her husband.
Oh no.
Soarynn feels her heart sink as she watches Persephone place a hand on his shoulder before saying her congratulations. Coriolanus looks up at her with a confused look on his face before she points at Soarynn, a big idiotic smile on her face.
His eyes meet her eyes and all she can see is held back anger. Anger for not telling him sooner, the moment she found out to be exact. But Coriolanus Snow has a reputation to uphold and he naturally smiles up at the two women before nodding. Soarynn stays frozen in her chair as the news spreads throughout the room like wildfire, everyone now talking about how Soarynn Snow is pregnant.
Soarynn feels someone's hand on her shoulder and she looks up to see Lysistrata Vickers, a friend of her husband's from the Academy, "Are you alright Soarynn?" What a loaded question. Soarynn slowly nods, "Yes, I...I think I might need a bit of fresh air is all." But to leave and go outside she'll need his permission.
Lysistrata looks over at the group of Capitol elites who are all still talking about the news and gives her shoulder a squeeze, "Why don't we go outside for a bit then? I'll come with you."
Soarynn knows she shouldn't. That she should go to her husband's side and stay there but the room is spinning and she so desperately wants out.
She looks up at Lysistrata and nods, "Alright."
꧁ ꧂
"You don't seem too excited about the baby," Lysistrata notes as they lean against the balcony railing, overlooking the city. Soarynn sighs and rests and hand on her stomach, trying to imagine a small human being growing inside of her, "I'm thrilled," she deadpans.
It would be wonderful to have a baby, someone to love unconditionally. But only if it's a girl. Soarynn knows Coriolanus well enough to know that should she have a boy, he'll want full control of the baby's life from the start. A girl is the only option for her.
"Have you thought of any names?" Soarynn shakes her head at the question, a question reserved for when she finds out the gender, finds out her child's fate to put it more lightly. "Not yet but I'm sure Coriolanus will have a few ideas." She doesn't mean to sound like she's making a jab at her husband but it certainly comes off that way and Lysistrata chuckles, "He's a bit of a control freak isn't he?"
If she were with anyone else, Soarynn would deny such claims, be scared that it's some sick twisted test he's putting her up to, trying to see where her loyalties lie. But she's seen Lysistrata enough to know that she can be trusted, well, trusted more than the others who wouldn't hesitate and run back and report to Coriolanus about his wife's behavior.
"He can be," Soarynn agrees, "but I know he just wants the best for me," she adds, not wanting to sound as if she's contradicting her husband.
Lysistrata hums, "You know, there are many ways to stop an unwanted pregnancy, if that's what this is to you." Soarynn's eyes widen and she grips the railing even harder, "What makes you think that I don't want this pregnancy?"
Every part of her is screaming that she doesn't want it, but Soarynn knows she doesn't have a choice. Not if he knows about it now and he's bound to punish her when they get home from keeping this a secret from him.
Lysistrata shrugs and looks out into the night sky, "Because if you did then Coriolanus would've known about it already."
Soarynn is surprised that Lysistrata managed to pick up on his initial surprise. Coriolanus can hide his expressions fairly well, but Soarynn has been with him long enough to be able to read the tiniest expressions, whether he likes it or not.
"He knew," Soarynn says, more for herself than for Lysistrata.
The sound of the balcony doors opening halts their conversation and Soarynn doesn't even need to look back to know who it is. "There you are darling, I've been looking all over for you." Soarynn plasters on her practiced society smile before turning around and looking up at her husband who easily towers over her even when she wears heels. "Well you found me," she replies, letting him place a possessive hand on her back.
Coriolanus hums and shoots Lysistrata a smile, "Lyssie, have you been enjoying yourself tonight?" Soarynn has never heard of this nickname before. She knows that close friends call him 'Coryo' but she has yet to be granted that privilege.
Lysistrata nods but the smile she gives him doesn't quite reach her eyes, "Yes. Congratulations, by the way, I'm sure you two must be thrilled." Coriolanus presses his hand hard against her back, "Yes, we were absolutely delighted to share the news with all of you."
Soarynn does her best to look pleased as she listens to their conversation but all she can think about is the scolding she's going to get when they arrive home, the lecture, the yelling, the tears.
She might throw up.
"I can take it from here Lyssie," Coriolanus tells his friend who looks hesitant to leave the couple alone. "You're sure?" She asks, the question directed at Soarynn. No one has ever stood up for her like this, and Soarynn is grateful but she also wishes that Lysistrata would just drop it. The bed has already been made. Soarynn nods, "Absolutely."
It's a tense ten seconds that pass by while they watch Lysistrata walk back inside. Soarynn doesn't say a word when Coriolanus grabs her face with his hand, tilting her head up and forcing her to look him in the eye, "How long have you known?"
"Four weeks," she answers, seeing no point in lying to him.
His jaw clenches and his grip on her face tightens, "And when were you planning to tell me, darling? Were you going to wait until your water broke? Or were you going to run off and try to terminate the pregnancy?"
Soarynn's throat tightens up at the last question because she doesn't think she could ever have the guts to do something like that behind his back. Coriolanus finds out everything.
She slowly shakes her head, "I wasn't...wasn't going to terminate the pregnancy. I was just scared." Coriolanus tilts his head, his eyes narrowing, "Scared of what?"
You, she thinks, but that won't do.
"Of becoming a mother," she whispers. Her own mother died after giving birth to her and his mother died trying to give birth to his little sister. It's one of his only soft spots and her answer has the intended effect on him. Coriolanus slightly relaxes and looks her up and down, still displeased by the turn of events tonight. "You'll still be punished when we get home."
Soarynn can't hide her disappointment and he smirks, "You didn't think that being pregnant would keep me from fucking you did you, darling?" Soarynn feels stupid to admit that she has, that she hoped this pregnancy might deter him from having sex with her in the aggressive manner he usually has.
"No."
Coriolanus lets out a raw chuckle and uses his grip on her face to turn it side to side as if she's shaking her head, "That's another lie Soarynn. You're just begging to be punished aren't you?"
Tears begin to form once again and she can't stop them from falling down her cheeks, "Please, please Coriolanus I'll do anything. I'm sorry, I should've told you as soon as I found out, as soon as I saw the test."
Coriolanus leans down until his lips are ghosting hers, "Yes you very well should have but it appears that you still haven't been properly trained. But don't worry darling, once I'm done with you tonight, you won't fucking breathe without asking for my permission."
꧁ ꧂
Soarynn's sobs sound throughout their bedroom as Coriolanus continues to fuck into her at a punishing pace.
But her crying has never stopped him from taking what he wants.
Their dresser is located directly across from their bed and a mirror sits on top of the furniture, granting her the perfect view of him fucking her from behind. The sight is normally bad enough, but the humiliation tonight has brought adds a new layer of shame for Soarynn.
She hates what she sees in the mirror now, a young, stupid girl, pregnant and trapped. With hair now chopped up to her chin.
She had been terrified of what he would do to her. Would he spank her? Choke her? Force her to crawl around on all fours like an animal? She wishes he had gone with one of those. But instead, he sat her down in front of her vanity, her hands tied behind her back so she couldn't stop him.
Soarynn had sobbed as he cut her hair off, watching it form a gold ring on the floor. Soarynn had never cut her hair short before, never saw the reason to do it and while she never felt an attachment to it, she certainly did now.
"It'll grow back," he had told her before setting the scissors down.
It was as if he took away all her girlhood in that very instant, claimed her as his, cut away the last pieces of the old her.
She hates him. She stares into her own eyes through the mirror, watching her soul die slowly. She hates him.
꧁ ꧂
Soarynn does her best to contain her sniffles as she sits in front of her vanity once again. Coriolanus is fast asleep in their bedroom, tuckered out after fucking her for hours. Soarynn takes in her ruined appearance, smudged makeup, bloodshot eyes, and a choppy haircut.
He'll want her to get it professionally cut. There's nothing Coriolanus hates more than an unkempt woman. But for now, she has to make do. Soarynn grabs the scissors and brings them up to her hair, her bottom lip trembles as she cuts a few strands, trying to even it out.
He hadn't tried to be skillful in cutting it, just getting his point across was good enough for Coriolanus.
"You belong to me."
Soarynn follows the line of her jaw and does her best to even the choppy cut, watching the silver blades gleam under the bathroom lights.
Soarynn lowers her arm and stares at the scissor blades for a moment, contemplating something she shouldn't be considering.
But wouldn't it be better this way? She wonders, wouldn't it be the only way out, the only way to show him that she is still capable of being her own person?
Soarynn takes in a sharp breath before dropping the scissors onto her marble vanity. She can't. Can't bring herself to cut her skin, to take her own life, to risk her child's life in the process. It would be entirely too selfish. And if for some reason she survived, well, she'd be in loads of trouble.
Soarynn rests her head in her hands, trying to ignore the disgusting feeling of his cum still lodged inside of her. Coriolanus Snow is a man who prides himself in finishing inside of her each and every time. It's probably how she got pregnant so quickly.
Soarynn looks in the mirror at her wrecked reflection, not recognizing the girl staring back at her.
“If I let him do this to me, what else will I allow?" She whispers to herself, thinking of all the things he's already done to her.
But she has something else to live for now, something to defend, to protect. Her child. And for them, she'll do anything.
"Anything, anything, anything at all."
| tumblr oneshot/drabble |
#slaymitchabernathy#coriolanus fanfiction#hunger games#ao3 fanfic#soarynn snow#wattpad#the ballad of songbirds and snakes#the hunger games#coriolanus snow#coriolanus smut#staywithmealways#soarynn nightingale#coriolanus x soarynn#coriolanus imagine#coriolanus oneshot#coriolanus fic#coriolanus drabble#drabble#ao3#coriolanus x festus creed#stay with me always#possesive coriolanus#coriolanus x original character#original character
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Burden of Truth Pride Special 2024
Father Figure! Marc Spector x Teen! Reader
Father Figure! Steven Grant x Teen! Reader
Pride Special 2024
“So, what adventures did you get up to today?” said Steven, smiling at (Y/N).
“I found a skatepark. I met other teenagers,” said (Y/N), taking a bite of their apple.
“That’s lovely,” said Steven. “I keep telling you to try to meet new people your age, make friends. Will you see them again?”
(Y/N) tilted their head. “How would I know?”
“…Well, you make plans with friends. Or, well, you make friends first, and then you make plans,” said Steven.
“How do I do that?” asked (Y/N).
“Uh, you—”
“Don’t act like we know how to make friends,” interjected Marc from a mirror.
Steven grimaced. “Okay, maybe we don’t…Still, that doesn’t mean (Y/N) shouldn’t have friends.”
“You guys are my friends,” said (Y/N) plainly.
“I feel bad for you if we’re your only friends,” said Marc.
“I have Layla,” said (Y/N).
“She’s cool,” said Steven, brightening.
“Can you name literally anyone who wasn’t involved in illegal activities?” said Marc.
“I don’t meet people outside of illegal activities, so how would I know anyone like that?” said (Y/N), tilting their head.
“Maybe we should have insisted you go to school…” said Steven.
“I already know everything, though,” said (Y/N), blinking.
Marc sighed. This was going in circles because (Y/N) still had no idea that the way they interacted with people wasn’t what most considered “normal,” and, as a teenager, they should have friends their age who don’t nearly get themselves killed. Unfortunately, (Y/N) simply did not see things in that way and did not see social expectations as anything more than a confusing script they didn’t have.
“I’m going to send you to a karate dojo or something. Maybe that will help,” muttered Marc.
Steven chuckled. Marc was so protective but wanted (Y/N) to have a good life. They both did. “Despite all that, I’m glad you had some fun. Any plans for adventures tomorrow?”
(Y/N) pulled on their sweater sleeves, and Marc and Steven recognized the telltale sign of anxiety.
“What is it?” said Marc, instantly on edge.
It wasn’t like (Y/N) to put make stupid decisions, but they did have a bad habit of putting themself in danger in order to help others, so he didn’t want them to start doing that again if he could help it. (Y/N) was in London with them to have a normal life, free of danger. He wouldn’t let (Y/N) lose that.
“London Pride is tomorrow,” said (Y/N) quietly. “I…I wanted to go.” Still couldn’t lie.
Steven smiled. “I’ll take you. Or Marc. Whoever makes you feel more secure.”
“You would want to come?” said (Y/N), glancing at him.
“Yes,” said Steven. “Marc and I support you. Every part of you. Of course we’d want to come.”
“We don’t care about that,” said Marc. “You’re (Y/N). That’s what matters to us.”
Truth.
(Y/N) smiled slightly. They were glad they had Marc and Steven.
l
(Y/N) and Marc walked towards Pride. Steven and Marc had bickered over who got to front while they went to the parade, but they ended up agreeing to let Marc go with (Y/N) in case someone was rude to (Y/N) due to their identity. Marc was the right person to handle that—and he’d do it with pleasure. No one hurt (Y/N) on his watch.
(Y/N) walked hesitantly towards the parade, and Marc nudged them forward. As it went by with music playing and confetti falling through the air, Marc kept an eye on them. If this was too overwhelming a crowd, Marc would get them out.
But instead, (Y/N) began to smile. And Marc did, too. In the reflection of a window, Steven smiled as well. Marc noticed a stand beside them and stepped over. Quickly, he bought something and brought it back over to (Y/N).
They were still staring, spellbound, at the people celebrating their identity. After so long with just having a purpose as an Avatar, (Y/N) got to be themself. More accurately, they were discovering who they were. And they knew part of it wasn’t like some people. Their presentation to others didn’t fit the binary, and the way their brain worked was different, too. (Y/N) understood that.
But they could be who they were. And these were people who were proud of themselves. (Y/N) could be proud, too.
Marc returned to their side and draped a rainbow flag over their shoulders. “There you go, kid.”
(Y/N) looked at it, blinked, and held it closer around their shoulders. “Thank you.”
“No problem, kid,” said Marc, smiling.
“We’re proud of you,” said Steven, smiling in the window.
(Y/N) smiled and leaned into Marc. They were discovering who they were. And they had a good family support group with them.
Taglist:
@jaytheaceenby
@severussimp
@dmitrytherat
@slytherinroyalty16
@grippleback-galaxy
@alexpangender
@thewittyfanficreader
@aew-kun-age-regression
@oscarissac2099
@amberforest08
@kyalov
@yyourmotherr
@im-making-an-effort
@the-toskaverse
@wra-1-th
@noodleryworld
#burden of truth#x reader#gn reader#nb reader#x gn reader#x nb reader#x teen!reader#x teen reader#found family#found family trope#steven grant#steven grant x reader#steven grant x teen reader#steven grant x teen!reader#marc spector#marc spector x teen reader#marc spector x reader#marc spector x teen!reader#platonic moonknight#moon knight x teen reader#moon knight x reader#moonknight x reader#moon knight x teen!reader#moonknight x teen!reader#platonic moon knight#platonic#platonic x reader#platonic steven grant#platonic marc spector#pride special
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say what ur thinking (re oscar gif) let’s go wren
thought too much about the way he blushes so here's 700 words of girl!oscar. idk what this is
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“You go like, proper red,” Lando says, poking Oscar’s cheek. “D’you know that?”
Oscar pulls away, startled. “What are you - what?”
Lando laughs at her reaction. He’s been like this since day one; overly-familiar, baffled by Oscar’s seeming recalcitrance.
Not on camera, though. They’d both gotten a very stern talking-to from the marketing team about how it didn’t look right to have Lando’s hands all over Oscar in their videos. People might get the wrong idea.
“Your cheeks,” Lando says, gesturing at her face. “You like, blush. A lot.”
Oscar’s hands go to her cheeks. Sure enough, they’re warm, and growing warmer with every passing second. “Can’t help it, can I,” she responds, trying to keep her voice steady. “‘M like, pale. Comes with the territory.”
“Yeah,” Lando says, pulling up his hoodie sleeve. “You really are.” He presses his forearm against hers, comparing the difference in tones. “Christ, Osc, you need to get some sunshine.”
Oscar swallows, goosebumps erupting along her forearm where Lando’s is touching hers. “Doesn’t matter. I don’t really tan?” she croaks, watching Lando’s face. He drops his hand, starts drawing little circles around the moles on her arm.
“Really?” Lando asks, and Oscar shakes her head. She’s pulled a bit of hair too tight in her plait, and she can feel it tugging at her scalp every time she moves. “You’re from Australia, though.” The constant motion of his finger on her forearm is making her skin tingle, something in her stomach going molten and warm.
Oscar takes a deep breath and reminds herself that Lando’s got actual supermodels in his DMs, that he couldn’t be less interested in Oscar. It doesn’t matter that this feels like flirting, the juvenile way Oscar watched girls in her year compare their hand sizes with boys they liked. Lando’s not interested.
“You should come to Ibiza with me in summer,” Lando shrugs. “Soak up some rays.”
Oscar snorts. “I’m going to a training camp with Mark.”
“Kinky,” Lando says, wiggling his eyebrows. Oscar rolls her eyes and looks away, like she always does when Lando jokes about Mark. Her blush has climbed all the way to her hairline now. She’d really like to finish her salad, actually.
“Shame, though,” Lando continues. “Reckon you’d look good in a bikini,” Lando grins, the way he does when he knows he’s pushing something too far. “You wear one of those ones with the thong? Look dead uncomfortable, them.”
“Wouldn’t you like to know,” Oscar says primly, well aware that her face is on fire. Plus, she’s like, getting wet. Which is completely fucking ridiculous, and she shouldn’t be, but it doesn’t matter. When she shifts in her chair, she can feel the damp heat in her underwear.
Lando wraps his hand around her forearm. It’s infantile and ridiculous and stupid, but Oscar really wants him to do that thing that boys do, where they wrap their hand around your wrist and see if they can get their fingers to touch.
Well - it’s what Oscar’s seen boys do. None of them had ever wanted to do it to her.
“Yeah,” Lando says, tongue darting out to wet his bottom lip. “I would like to know, actually.”
Oscar’s breath catches in her chest, eyes darting up to find Lando’s. He seems serious about it. It’s not fair, the way it makes the blush spread down to her chest, the traitorous open neck of her polo shirt letting him see. His eyes dart down for a second, following the path of the blush, and that just makes everything worse. She’s caught him looking at her tits before, but this is different. It’s like, intentional, or something.
Oscar opens her mouth, ready to ask if this is a joke, if he’s made some sort of twisted bet with his mechanics that he’d be able to get Oscar to spread her legs before the summer break, but she doesn’t get a chance.
“You guys ready?” one of the marketing people asks, clapping Oscar’s shoulder, unaware that she’s interrupting. “We’ll need you in meeting room six.”
Lando looks up at the woman, all heat gone from his eyes, smiling sunnily. Oscar wants to take a bite out of him. “Is that the one with the broken aircon?” he asks, pushing his chair back with a screech. “Might need to change rooms. Oscar’s looking a bit warm today.”
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Requested by @wayfinder-family-lover : an oyeicher proposal
Read on AO3 or:
Cher’s ass is still sore from this morning when Oyei had rolled over on top of him and whispered something dirty in his ear, sneaked his hand down under the covers and let his lips do the apologizing for the last few days. Cher’s over it, mostly, his sudden and unpleasant fear that Oyei has grown tired of him.
Sitting on the edge of the boxing ring, he watches Oyei going through his usual morning workout. He could be going over books or trying to schedule more clients, but he’d rather be here.
Oyei has been trying to make it up to him the past few days—maybe even going a little overboard with the horny routine. Sex in the shower, sex in the office once he installed a decent lock, blow jobs in the middle of the night. It feels like when they first got together, and Cher isn’t sure it’s a good thing.
They’re different now than they were then, hopefully more mature although Cher doesn’t always feel like it when he gets those stupid doubts about their relationship. He knows they’re unfounded, that Oyei only has eyes for him, would spend every minute of every day with him if he could. But he can’t shake it.
He doesn’t notice Oyei glancing at him as he rises from doing pushups on the mat, too distracted by the questions circling his brain.
“Why are you frowning?” Oyei asks, wiping sweat off his brow and reaching for a towel tucked into his shorts.
“I’m not,” Cher says, though he probably was. Setting his elbows on the rope behind him, he leans away from Oyei as he comes over.
“Still upset with me?” Oyei asks, tilting his head to the side and widening his eyes as if he can beg his way out of the doghouse. Not that he’s in the doghouse anymore, but Cher wonders now if his reaction had gone too far. After all, a normal couple goes a few days between sex and nothing is wrong. Why had his mind jumped immediately to cheating?
“No,” he says, and it’s mostly true. He’s more upset with himself now.
He’s not surprised when Oyei slides in beside him, presses a sloppy kiss to his cheek. He doesn’t jerk away like he normally would in public (though there’s no one in the room at the moment), just sighs and glances at Oyei.
“P’Yei,” he says after a second, pulling Oyei’s hand from where it’s fiddling with his hair, holding it in his lap instead. “You love me, right?”
He’d never doubted before, had been confident that Oyei wouldn’t so much as look at anyone else—knowing full well Cher would go to his mother’s house and he’d never see him again—but that was before he’d actually thought it possible. Before something changed and Oyei hadn’t even cuddled him at night for the first time ever. He’s tried to convince himself that he’s reading too much into it, that Oyei is tired or busy with gym things, that a few nights without cuddling isn’t odd. But it is, for them. It is when Oyei spends practically every minute they’re alone trying to kiss him, get his hands on him. When he doesn’t try, it worries Cher.
Oyei’s thick eyebrows furrow at the question, as if he doesn’t understand why Cher would ask.
“Yes, of course. I love you more than anything,” he says, eyes big and serious as he gazes at Cher.
“More than boxing?” he asks, and Oyei smiles, reaching for Cher’s face, stroking his cheek gently.
“Yes,” he answers with no hesitation. “I love everything about you. Your tiny shorts and your funky socks. How you tell the truth, even when I don’t want to hear it. How smart and sweet and sassy you are to me, and to Yak. How you take care of this place, of me. I’d be lost without you.”
Cher feels a bit relieved to hear it, feels stupid that he had to ask. Looking away from Oyei, he huffs. Shouldn’t he be secure enough after all these years?
Oyei slides off the ring, stepping in front of Cher and pulling him up before Cher can even protest.
“P’Yei! What are you doing?” he says as Oyei hefts him into his arms, a firm grip underneath his thighs, and Cher has to wrap his arms around his shoulders to keep himself from falling backwards. “Stop, you’re all sweaty!”
“You didn’t used to complain about that,” Oyei says, eyebrows raised, holding Cher against him. Cher can’t go anywhere, tucked tightly in Oyei’s arms. “You used to like my sweat. Have you changed?”
Cher takes a breath, steadying himself with Oyei’s hand moving to squeeze his ass, holding him up against him. He’s always liked that Oyei was bigger than him, could lift him easily, but right now, he’s not sure what to do.
“No,” he answers instead, brushing a thumb over Oyei’s hairline. But he has changed. They both have, and isn’t that the point? Isn’t that what relationships are supposed to do? What is his and Oyei’s turning into then?
“Yes, you have,” Oyei corrects him, and Cher looks around quickly as Oyei starts to move. He has no idea where they’re going or why, but he can’t exactly escape when Oyei’s the one carrying him. “And that’s a good thing.”
Cher arches an eyebrow as Oyei takes him down the hallway, past the door to the office and to the bottom of the stairs. Is he really going to carry him all the way to their room?
“Why is it a good thing?” he asks as Oyei starts up the stairs.
“Because people shouldn’t stay the same,” Oyei answers, holding on tighter than Cher slips a little. He worries for a second they might fall down the stairs, but Oyei is stronger than that, strong enough to get them all the way to the landing and down the next narrow hall to their bedroom in the back. “What makes a relationship work is when people grow together.”
“Who told you that?” Cher helps get the door open, resigned to staying in Oyei’s arms. He honestly doesn’t mind it too much, the firm grip around his back, a broad hand braced under his ass. It makes him feel safe.
“My mom,” Oyei says, turning around so he can set Cher gently on the table. They’ve done this a thousand times, but it’s usually on the bed, prefaced with a peppering of kisses from Oyei, wandering hands that hoist him into his lap where he’s already hard. This time, Cher scoots back on the table, a little confused as to where this is going.
“Didn’t your parents divorce?” he asks, doubtful, and Oyei nods.
“Exactly.”
Cher doesn’t get it. If Oyei is trying to make up for the last few days, he’d rather just have cuddles and reassurance that everything is fine.
Wrinkling his nose, he just watches Oyei brush his hair from his eyes, the soft, loving gaze he’s used to not quite taming the uncertainty in his stomach. He doesn’t like feeling insecure, isn’t used to it when it comes to Oyei.
“I’m sorry I’ve been distracted lately,” Oyei says after a long minute, tilting Cher’s chin to his, pressing a kiss to his cheek, again and again until Cher has to shove him away.
“Can’t you just tell me why?” Cher asks, holding Oyei’s shoulders back to stop him trying to kiss him again. Maybe there’s a reason. Maybe there’s not. Maybe Cher is just overreacting. He doesn’t know. He can’t stop himself from wondering.
For a second, Oyei doesn’t reply, but then, to Cher’s surprise, he takes a step back.
Holy shit. He really is seeing someone else, isn’t he? His stomach plummets as Oyei turns his back at the bookshelf.
“I was going to do this later,” Oyei says, and Cher is trying to decide if he’s more devastated or angry, staring down at his feet, debating leaving right now so he doesn’t have to hear some terrible excuse as to why Oyei would do it. Oyei turns back before he can, though. “I was going to take you to the waterfront, where we had our first date. Our first real date.”
He would do it there?! Cher thought, chest clenching. The place where they’d kissed for the first time, where Oyei had slipped his hand into Cher’s as they walked along the river and he’d felt a tingle up his arm. The place they’d gone when Oyei invited him to move in after only six months of dating. He would really ruin that for them?
“You don’t have to,” Cher said abruptly, glancing at the door. He could make it there in less than five steps, be out of here and never come back. “I don’t want you t—” He stopped short as he slid off the desk to his feet, gaze landing on Oyei before him, arms outstretched, a tiny velvet box cracked open in his hands.
It doesn’t make sense. The box, the shimmer of the light reflecting off the gold ring inside, the way Oyei’s eyes glisten as he looks at him.
He feels every breath he takes as he stares at the ring, at Oyei. This isn’t what he thinks it is?
“I went to see your mother,” Oyei says finally. “She said you’ve always loved this ring, that she’d been saving it for you at the store. I asked if I could have it.”
“Why?” Cher hears himself ask, a stupid question, but his eyes flick to Oyei’s, and he sees the nerves for the first time, the quickness to his smile when Cher asks.
“So I could ask you,” he says slowly, reaching for Cher’s hand, “if you’ll marry me.”
It had been the last thing on Cher’s mind, the last reason he would have suspected for Oyei acting oddly. He doesn’t even know what to say as his mouth opens and no words come out. He feels the tears before he realizes, sliding down his cheek—a flood of emotions breaking free.
Oyei’s hand gets there first, wiping away the drop sliding past his nose. “Cher? Are you okay?”
Cher just shakes his head, unable speak for a second as everything comes together. Swallowing the lump in his throat, he finally raises his gaze to Oyei before him, the concern on his face.
“How long?” he manages to ask, wiping away another tear that falls. He’s not even sure why he’s crying, just that it’s happening. “How long have you had it?”
Oyei blinks, shaking his head. “About a week.”
A week. Just about the time Cher noticed something was off. That’s why Oyei has been weird. Nervous maybe, distracted, planning? He finds himself smiling, a wave of relief sloughing off him as he takes a deep breath.
“Cher, baby,” Oyei says after a second, looking nervous again as he stands there with the ring. “Are you gonna answer the question?”
Right, the question.
“Yes,” he says finally, letting go of all the stress and worry from the past week, his stupid unfounded conclusions, his smile growing as Oyei’s eyes get hopeful. “Yes, I will.”
Oyei grins too, pulling Cher to him for a proper kiss—soft and slow, brimming with warmth and happiness as Cher clings to his shirt and doesn’t want to let go.
He has to, though, to let Oyei pull the ring from the box and slide it on his finger where it catches the light. It looks so perfect there, especially when Oyei links their fingers together. They’ll have to get one for him too.
“Still mad at me?” Oyei asks one more time as he tugs Cher in close, leaving a kiss on the apple of his cheek, the bridge of his nose, the corner of his mouth.
“No,” Cher answers truthfully this time, tilting his head toward Oyei’s as he nears his lips. “But you better not scare me like that again.”
“I could never want anyone but you,” Oyei assures him, hugging him tightly, and Cher knows it’s the truth.
He knows it’s the truth and he doesn’t need to question anything as Oyei kisses him again, holds on tight, and never lets go.
#oyeicher#cheroyei#wandee goodday the series#wandee goodday#my fic#drabbles#this got a little long oops#for the record i think yei's being weird because of financial stuff but this would be preferable
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Restoration (Chapter 12)
The chapter that will hopefully fix everything that I’ve done! :D (I regret it all) I don’t really know how to feel about the way I wrote this since my editor and other reader were not available, sooo I’m just gonna wing it and hope it turned out okay. I’m very sorry 😞. Otherwise, enjoy!
Word Count: 3.8k
CW: loneliness, that’s everything!
12- Nathan
I lazily opened my eyes, pushing myself off the mysteriously soft fabric underneath me. It feels like I’ve been asleep for days… I looked to where my alarm clock should be, but only seeing everything around me enlarged and up to a bigger scale. Oh right, I feel asleep on Ryker. Oh. I fell asleep on Ryker.
I let out a yelp, studying the area where I was at and seeing that the fabric underneath me belonged to his pillow. Oh god I really slept on top of him… My thoughts were thrown into a panic as I tried to wrap my mind around everything. I just remember it being cold outside, Ryker scooping me up extremely quickly, crying… Oh gosh. I cried in front him. I groaned, leaning back until my back hit the cushiony surface behind me. I-I was crying on him and he was there hugging me close to him the entire time which I mean it didn’t even feel bad it actually felt amazing but I can’t believe I just did all of that in front of him and oh my gosh it just felt so good to cry and-
Calm down Nathan.
I took a few deep breaths, calming down my fast heart rate and looking around again. I couldn’t see his alarm clock from where I was at, but I did smell something amazing. My stomach growled, but I just ignored it like I have been for the past week and a half. Where was Ryker at anyways? I didn’t want to move from my spot in case he comes back in looking for me. I owe him such a big apology… Why did he stick around for all of that last night? He could’ve left me. But he didn’t. And that just made my heart flutter at the thought that he cares about me.
A few minuets later, Ryker walked in, peeking his head in as I hurried to sit up. I heard him chuckle a bit before walking in, he had a different pair of sweatpants and sweater that had a skull with roses on it than last night. How did he even get me on to the pillow in the first place? Maybe that shouldn’t be the first question I ask. I’ll just stay quiet for a while.
“Morning.” He sat a little ways from me, leaning against this arms behind him.
“Morning.” I replied back in a tired voice. What do I do? I was alone with Ryker. In his room. Sitting on his bed that I couldn’t get off of on my own even if I tried. Was he going to leave me here? Or would he kick me out and send me back home? I wouldn’t be surprised if he did either of those things. I’m still in shock that I just slept on him last night, and he’s sitting next to as if nothing ever happened.
“You slept for a while. I had to move you onto a pillow.” Ryker laughed, a light shade of pink on his cheeks. I brought my knees up to my chest, nodding embarrassingly.
“Sorry.”
“Hm? For what?” Ryker turned his head to face me, making me feel even more insecure than I already was. Did I really have to answer that question? I felt my face heat up just the slightest bit as I sucked in a shaky breath.
“For… s-sleeping. On you.” Ever since Lucky had asked me that stupid question a month ago my mind has been all over the place. I’m so confused almost all of time every time I’m around Ryker. I question myself everyday if I really like him or if I’m just confusing my emotions with friendship. Usually I would have asked my mom for help but… she wasn’t here anymore. And that just made my entire world come crumbling down to the ground.
“Oh that? You were tired. I don’t mind. I kind of fell asleep a little after you anyways,” Ryker sighed, laying down on his back and facing the ceiling, “I didn’t want to wake you up, so I just left you there and checked up on you every half hour.”
I nodded my head, still feeling a little awkward. Should I go home? Thank him for everything, go home, then see him when I’m forced to go back to school? A part of me thinks that was the way I should do this, but another part of me thinks Ryker would really help me. I mean, he has gone through this before because his parents also… You know. Maybe he knows how to help me? I haven’t really been able to take the best care of myself, and I just feel like Ryker might be able to help me get back up on my feet. Then again, I could just go to a therapist so I wouldn’t waste Ryker’s time. But since when has a therapist been able to help you?
My mind wasn’t wrong.
“Are you hungry? There’s some breakfast in the kitchen.” Ryker asked, sitting back up and waiting for my answer. Physically? I was starving. Mentally? No. Not even in the slightest bit. At least I figured out what that amazing smell was.
“N-no. But thank you th-“ It was then in that moment that my stomach decided to growl. Not loud, but loud enough for Ryker to hear and smile sadly at me. He offered his hand palm-up, waiting just as patiently as ever. I always admired him for that. I don’t know how he puts up with me half the time.
I carefully stood up, a little wobbly on the cushiony surface below me. I tried my best to keep my balance, clinging to his thumb as soon as I could so I wouldn’t roll off his pillow. Now that would be something to be embarrassed about. Luckily I didn’t.
The kitchen smelled like pancakes, which just so happens to be what I was craving right now. How did Ryker even know? What surprised me even more was that there were human-sized plates sitting on the counter, like they were just waiting for me. For the first time in forever I really did feel like eating. Why did it take me to go through all this just to be able to eat and feel just the tiniest bit better about myself?
Ryker set me down, saying that If I wanted I could cut off my own piece of pancake while he went to go grab a blanket from another room. I gladly did, my body enjoying the much needed energy that I’ve been neglecting it for the past two weeks. It tasted just like my moms… I blinked back the tears. There was no time to think about that. I didn’t want to cry in front of Ryker again. Plus, I didn’t really want to cry anymore in general. I knew it felt good, but I’m trying not to seem like such a burden for people.
It took Ryker a while to dig out an extra blanket from the closet, because by the time I finished my plate he was barely coming back. I placed my plate with the other dirty dishes where I hope would be the best place to keep it until I can wash it later. Again, I didn’t want to be a burden while I stayed here.
Ryker sat on top of the kitchen island across from me right after he threw the blanket on one of the couches. I sighed, taking my phone out of my pocket and seeing that it was already midday. How long was I asleep for? Nearly twelve hours? I shoved my phone back into my pocket. I guess I’ll go home in a little bit. I don’t really want to though, but I can’t just keep leeching off Ryker for forever. I’ll go to school, finish it up, and then I don’t know after that. I haven’t really thought that far ahead.
“When will you go back to school?” Ryker asked. I didn’t have answer in reality. I didn’t want to go back, but my parents would probably like me to finish it up with only five months left.
“Next week? M-maybe? I, um, don’t know.” I stared at the countertop below me, trying not to make eye contact. Was I the reason he wasn’t going to school either? I should have answered his calls while I was in the hospital… Maybe then I wouldn’t have been this bad.
Ryker pushed himself off the counter as he laid his hand flat out in front of me. I stood up, lifting myself up onto his palm and sitting down in the middle before he started moving to the living room and carefully sitting down against the armrest with me still in hand. Usually he lets me down first.
“D-did you want me to m-move?” I asked, looking back up at him. He shook his head with a smile on his face, “Not unless you’re uncomfortable.”
I wasn’t. The opposite actually. But I wasn’t going to just blindly show that to him. At least not again.
Ryker put on a movie, which I wasn’t really watching but pretended to anyways. I kept thinking about why he wasn’t even complaining about me being here. Why I didn’t hate the fact that he didn’t even acknowledge what had happened last night even though I wanted to forget all about it. Oh. He knew I didn’t want to talk about it.
In truthfulness, I have no idea what I’m even doing anymore. Everything is so confusing now. What do I do at this point? I wouldn’t even be here if we had never gone to that stupid store in the first place. I would have been happy, my life would have been turned around for the better and I wouldn’t have to worry about anything else. Instead, it’s the complete opposite and I’m having to rely on everyone just to help me. I felt useless. Or maybe that wasn’t the word I was looking for.
———Ryker———
I guess I made the right call to not talk about what happened last night. Nathan looked exhausted. Physically and mentally. I know how it feels, but obviously there was something else bothering him besides what happened this past month. I didn’t know if it had to do with me, or not, but I really just wanted to help. Not be the reason he’s suffering even more.
I wasn’t really paying attention to the movie, and I could tell neither was Nathan. I didn’t know whether to turn off the movie or to just leave it on. What would be the right call here? From what I’m getting at he just didn’t want to be lonely right now, which I mean of course, but I guess he’s also touch starved? As far as I knew Nathan was never really a fan of anyone touching him, and now all of a sudden he clings to me like a lost puppy, and every time my heart falters for just a split second.
“Hey, um, do you just want to hang out in my room? Neither of us are really watching the movie sooo.” I laughed, trying to cheer him up. A slight smile cracked on his face as he nodded his head. At least it’s something. How long did it take for me to get better? Three months? Four? I hope he doesn’t take as long as me.
I turned everything off, grabbed the extra blanket that took me forever to dig out of the closet, and shut the door behind me after I walked into my room. Did I know what we were going to do? No, not in the least. I was just trying to keep his mind off of everything, and I have zero idea if it’s working or not, but I think I’m doing a decent job.
“Ryker,” Nathan played with his hands while I cleared off my desk. I turned my head to him, waiting for the rest of the sentence, “Never… never mind.” He sighed in defeat, sliding off my slightly tilted palm and onto the black wooden desk. I did want to know what he was going to say, but I can wait. Instead, I just nodded my head, sitting down in my chair and grabbing one of the small sketchbooks I have. I haven’t really drawn anything for a while, and while I was extremely insecure about other people watching me draw, Nathan would be the only exception. And that’s coming from a person with five younger siblings.
Nathan sat a little closer, interested in what I was doing. I flipped to any empty page, not even knowing what I wanted to sketch in the first place. I leaned to the side, my hand holding my head up as I just scribbled all over the paper aimlessly holding that would spark something in my clouded mind. Lately it’s been a little lonely, but that was just because nearly the entire school was on that field trip to some amusement park. I’m too used to having so many people around me.
I wasn’t really paying attention to the time, nor whatever the heck I was conjuring up on the paper. It jus kind of looked like a dead cheery blossom tree at this point. It wasn’t bad, but not exactly what I had pictured in my mind. Which was nothing, but still. I sighed, placing my pencil down in the middle of the book and apparently not even realizing that Nathan was trying to climb over my arm I involuntarily placed in front of him. I didn’t dare move a single muscle as he struggled to lift himself up onto my wrist, dragging his leg onto the other side, then nearly falling over as he tried to bring his other one across. I started laughing without even meaning to as soon as he slid down back onto the desk.
“Sorry, sorry,” I apologized, moving my arm away from him as he hid his face from me, “It’s just that you could have asked me to move. But I guess that way works too.” I heard a quiet chuckle right before he turned to look, his jaw immediately dropping the second he sees it. I bit the side of my cheek, suddenly subconscious about myself.
“Woah.” Nathan kept studying it before I decided to softly close the book in front of him and shove it back in the cubby I pulled it out from. Subconscious wins.
Nathan turned back to me, a worried look on his face. Is he worried about me? It should be the entire opposite! But still, I couldn’t ignore the fact that he cares so much about me. I had high hopes that after we graduated we would stay friends, but I still had no idea. Maybe he had his own plans.
I checked my phone, reading that it was already three in the afternoon. How long was I drawing for? I sighed, leaning back in my chair and watching Nathan sit down and play with his hands again. I felt really tired, but I didn’t want to leave Nathan alone. Usually when my siblings are gone I try my best to clean up as much as I can and get as much rest as I can. It’s nearly impossible to keep up with everyone during school. My bed honestly looked as welcoming as ever right now.
Last night, in truth, I didn’t get much sleep. How could I? I had a small human practically passed out on my chest and I didn’t want to wake him up. Plus, I kind of freaked out because I didn’t know what to do and I knew what could happen if he stayed on me while I was asleep. I tried my hardest to stay awake, but there were times when I fell asleep and found Nathan in the same spot as before. Still, there was still the fact that he slept on me. I didn’t mind at all. My mind was all over the place, I was a little flustered, but I realized that he must’ve been pretty tired to fall asleep like that. There was no way he would have willingly done that, right?
“Do you… want me to go back home? I don’t want to, um, bother you.” Nathan asked, his tone lined with sadness. He think he has to I guess. I turned towards him, not really knowing what to say. He’s never bothered me. I don’t think he could either. It’s just the thought that he would think I would be annoyed by him. I don’t know what happened before he moved to the city, but it’s obviously changed the way he thinks. No other human would think that way unless something bad happened. Something I shouldn’t ask him about right now.
“Only if you really want to, and you’re not bothering me,” I sucked in a shaky breath, “I was actually going to ask you if you wanted to stay here for a while. Of course you don’t have to! I just noticed you weren’t taking care of yourself and I’d like to help, you know? Plus, what kind of friend would that make me if I didn’t at least try to help you?”
That technical promise I made to his mom before she passed away was stuck to my mind. I wasn’t going to tell Nathan, and I planned on keeping that promise until he leaves. I do care about him. A lot. And I hated how he looked last night. He looked broken and torn apart, and at the same time fragile and gentle as ever.
Nathan looked surprised at first before smiling and nodding his head, “I-If you don’t mind.” I didn’t.
I yawned, covering my mouth and my eyes slightly tearing up, “You don’t mind if I take a nap, right?” He shook his head. I laid my hand out flat, watching him try to keep his balance as he stumbled to the middle of my palm. I was just going to place him on the ground so he could do whatever. I wasn’t going to keep him in my room with nothing to do.
As I lowered my hand down, Nathan’s expression looked confused before he hurried to grab onto my sleeve. I stopped for a second, confused myself. What was he doing? It’s the same thing as last night. Oh. Right. He doesn’t want to be lonely. My heart fell the same way it did last night as I walked over to my bed, keeping Nathan in my hand and getting myself under the covers. So what do I do?
“S-sorry. I d-don’t even know what I’m doing.” Nathan apologized, slouching down as I pressed my back up against the head of the bed. No matter how many times I tell him it’s fine he won’t believe me. Maybe he’ll believe me if I show it?
“It’s okay, Nathan. You’re just touch starved, I get it.” I whispered, placing my thumb behind him and laughing when he jumped. He didn’t back away though. I laid down, Nathan still cupped in my hand. Just don’t move your hand. No other words were said between us before my eyes shut closed.
“If you like him so much why don’t you kiss him already?”
———Nathan———
Ryker really just fell asleep. How tired was he? I didn’t know, and I was sort of tired myself even after sleeping for twelve hours. But still, I can’t believe I was doing this to him again, and he doesn’t even say anything. He’s allowed me to stay here for a while, which I was so grateful for, but I can’t keep leeching off of him. It was a bad habit, and he won’t always be there for me. I guess I should cherish what I have right now. Ryker was right. I really was touch starved.
He didn’t really move much, but after about an hour was when he was getting twitchy. I was thinking I should probably move, but I didn’t want to. I was just being selfish, and I was going to tell him that, but I just couldn’t. Would he think the same way? Was he only letting me stay here because he was just sympathizing? That doesn’t really makes sense if he said he’s going to try to help me. Still, I didn’t erase the possibility.
It was quiet, and I would have fallen asleep if I hand’s occupied myself with just exploring his room from the view I was at. Otherwise, I was just laying down in his palm still, hanging onto the little part of the cuff of his sleeve. Then, Ryker started twitching again, this time somehow gently getting me in a fist and bringing me close. The worst part about it was that I couldn’t get out even if I tried.
I was just slightly freaking out. He was basically holding me like I was a small stuffed animal right up against his chest as he stirred around for a little. My face turned a bright red as Ryker yawned again, groggily opening his eyes and opening up his palm I was in. The panic in my chest diminished as he blinked away the bags under his eyes and smiled down at me. I smiled right back. I wouldn’t tell him about that. Plus, it’s not like I was hurt anyways.
Ryker pressed his thumb against my back gently, stretching out the rest of his limbs before sitting up and pressing his back up against the wall. I completely forgot about the blush before he squinted and weakly chuckled before wrapping me in a hug. Well, he was only pinching me between two of his fingers but I get the gesture. I just didn’t know why. But it felt amazing all the same.
Actually, this entire day it seemed like I had forgotten about all that happened. I couldn’t tell if that was a good thing or a bad thing, but I’ll just have to hope for the best. I’d have to thank Ryker for that.
“You feel better?” Ryker asked. I nodded my head in response. I’ve never felt better. He yawned again, covering his mouth and bringing his knees closer to his chest. He studied me for a while before sighing and getting up. What was that about? I had no idea. I didn’t even know what I was doing today. All I knew was that I wanted nothing more than to just be held and safe and wanted. Which was everything Ryker was giving me.
“Do you like Ryker?”
I stopped breathing for a second, losing my focus on everything around me. That stupid question again? I’m pretty sure I don’t. Right? I was just mistaking my feelings for friendship. Right? My heart started beating faster when Ryker looked down to check on me.
What was this?
——————
Again, my editor and beta reader was not available (they’re the same person but still) so this probably turned out to be one of the worst chapters or you guys actually like it and I’m just over thinking this TwT
I hope you guys enjoyed it though! Chapter 13 will be the last one! But I do have some little scenes after the story I want to do sooo they’re not going away anytime soon don’t worry :D
Taglist: @da3dm
#G/t#g/t writing#g/t fluff#sfw g/t#restoration#Oc: ryker#Oc: Nathan#G/t community#ahhhh this is one of the last chapters I’ll be writing TwT#I’m gonna actually cry#I love writing these two#I don’t know how I feel about this chapter#i think it turned out bad me personally#unless I’m overthinking it#Idk anymore#but that’s it haha#will they get together or not?#i wonderrr#love you guys ❤️
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I’m having the stupidest little melt down 🥲
#this elderly man on my rez just lost his wife of 25 years and he’s already being hella pervy with so many women in my tribe#he hit on my last time I gave him a ride home#and after he said I’m just kidding with you I need 4 more months before I can think about dating..#and I’m goin on a couple years split from my ex and he fucking passed a year ago#and I’m not fucking over him!! and he can move on from 25 years#it’s made me feel so weak#I know I shouldn’t but I do and I feel so stupid#idk how to move on.. my heart is his. it always has been Gavins
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the amount of time i spend thinking about Even carrying the metacrisis doctor’s fob watch is really quite disproportionate to how much ive fleshed out that part of the story in my head
#i still find myself not caring if the metacrisis doctor couldnt use one. he can because i said so and because donna shouldn’t get amnesiaed#alone.#but anyway. even. its just something about like.#here is your best friend. the man who showed you how big the universe could be. its still him human or not. its still the doctor.#can’t call him that. have to watch your tongue always because no matter how familiar their faces are. these two people do not remember#everything you did together and never can. at least they still love each other. nothing could change that. that’s what matters. you steer#them into each other’s lives so carefully and watch to see if they’re going to get hurt. but they don’t. it’s okay.#and still. and still. you carry your best friend’s life. everything that he is. you can hold it in the palm of your hand. he gave it to you.#he entrusted it to you. well. that’s not entirely true. technically you volunteered. but how else could you say thank you.#you made your world so so small again. for him. larger than you would’ve been used to once but you know what galaxies feel like to fly#across. and now you’re stuck in time and space. this is for love too. this is for the life you hold in your hands.#or wear around your neck on a chain. and because you chose this. you can never see him again. or you see him every day and he doesn’t#recognize all of you.#that would make anyone desperate wouldn’t it? make you do something stupid. make you turn to someone you shouldn’t.#even makes bad choices when they are cornered. i think.#dw oc#the important bit is of course that the only way they can ever get rid of it is by their own choice. which they never would choose to do.#(because tentoo won’t take it back. he’s his own person. impressions of the doctor influencing him. but the part of him that is donna doing#so as well. a whole new person. who does not want her memories back and to be unmade.)#but the point is that the moment even takes it. they will never let it go. they will lose it. on painful occasion. but it always finds its#way back. depending on the context this presence and responsibility is either comforting in its constancy.#or. in a less kind world. a horrifying reminder of how far they have fallen from who they tried to be for him.
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It still my dream to start comic with my oc who’s rhe daughter of scourge 🙏 idk as a first (fourth) try into actuallt makinf a comic project LOLLL idk
#I heard it not good to make ur fav fav idea you’ve been cooking for years into ur first real attempt at comic#that why I wanna start with sillier idea like this rhen I can learn and grown then actually go on to do my dream furry comic#idk#codysight noises#I feel very small on all my socials so who knows#I am like a ghost#the things I post that usually get traction r dumb things and ppl don’t follow me for that#my nicer art getting actual traction is fewer and far between#sorry I feel ungrateful complaining but i can’t help but feel a little disheartened#esp bc that shouldn’t be the point#I just care a lot too much#just want ppl to gaf Abt my art (they do and I appreciate it sm) but my stupid ego#needs to be fed#vent#to delete
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when gerard way said “when i grow up i want to be nothing at all” i felt those words in my gdamn soul bro
#cried alone in my car parked in my driveway for like 17 minutes#i feel so hopeless and useless and stupid so so so stupid i’ll never be smart enough like the other nurses#i can’t fucking think im too slow i don’t know anything#it’s the emergency room and god for fucking bid i have an emergent patient i don’t know wtf to do ever#i don’t know how to initiate protocols or contact interdisciplinary or put in complex orders i don’t know anything i’m so useless#everyone thinks i’m stupid i’ve been on orientation for like 2 months know and i’m still the same useless stupid novice airhead new grad#i just get so frazzled i feel like everyone expects so much out of me and i have to be perfect to meet their standards#but im stupid im subpar im not good enough like them like#ever if they’ve been nurses for years and i’ve only been working as one for legit 2 months it’s just i still don’t know how to do anything#it’s like i can’t think i don’t do things how they want me to do them and then i look stupid im the attending doctor thinks i’m so dumb but#she wouldn’t even hear me out like i know you want both fluids running i know it’s important but he only has.1 IV and they aren’t compatible#we’re trying to start a second IV and he had difficult veins like why are you trying to tell me i’m stupid i know why you ordered it thatway#it’s like nobody gets my dumbass brain but that’s not their fault bc they can think clearly and convey their thoughts to people without#sounding like a fucking dumbass i have no critical thinking skills im just useless i hate this so much i don’t want to be here it sucks#i never wanted to be a nurse i never wanted to be anything i was 12 years old hoping i’d be dead by 18#and now i’m 23 and i’m still fucking here but it’s clear i shouldn’t be i don’t fit in im not fit for society#i should be euthanized like an unwanted dog that’s been at the shelter for too long that’s exactly what i am#20min later still crying can’t stop being a fucking crybaby pitypartying myself i’m the worst oh my god grow the fuck up already#why is everything so difficult for me why can’t i just fit in literally everyone knows i don’t belong#i’m the dumbest most useless new grad orientee and EVERYONE knows it even management it’s so embarrassing#i’m so embarrassed to be alive and take up space that could be filled by someone so much better smarter prepared someone meant to be there#i don’t want this i don’t want any of this i never wanted to grow up im just a kid in my head i’m so pathetic#i wish i was smart and good at something i wish people looked at me and thought o wow i respect her bc she’s also a good nurse#nobody likes me i’m such a burden to everyone the doctors my preceptors other nurses who deserve to be there#i’m leaking snot everywhere today wasn’t even that bad but i think it’s all just hitting me now how helpless i am#i’m so tired of myself and waking up and making a fool of myself every shift fucking stupid loser i hate myself i try so hard and it’s not#it’s not enough it’s never enough im not enough im an imposter i’ll never be as good as the other nurses even tho i’m really really trying#i seriously don’t want to do this anymore i don’t want to be here i can’t do it everyone knows i’m not cut out for this they all talk shit#ramblings
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-
#hello everyone how are you?#I hope everything is doing alright! from my part I can say life is treating me well lately#and I feel very light and okay#I am here mainly to get things straight#I saw an anon going around some other blogs talking about me#saying I am an hater and I shouldn’t be writing larry fics#I think this is the same anon that I blocked some weeks ago#because they told me I should not use Harry for clout (????)#and I want to say only one thing because I don’t care of defending myself on this website anymore and that is#it’s not clout and it’s not easy#being a (new) writer here is not easy because people don’t care what you do and there is definitely not clout around me#im not using harry to gain anything#if anything I am constantly questioning whether I am somehow good at writing silly stories and putting myself out there for people’s judg#*judgement. and I promise you it’s not always nice#especially when this place doesn’t like people who you don’t always agree with#especially when you are blocked by half of this side of fandom (larries because I had said something in the past that they didn’t like)#louies because im a larrie ergo I hate louis (???) and harries because i dont care about Harry as much as they do#so no I am not ashamed of writing and I am not ashamed of writing giving my characters#(that rarely have anything to do with H/L irl) thei#their names and physical features#and honestly people like you anon should definitely stop to play this stupid game of fandom police#deciding who can read what and who can write what#because this actions only affect new writers in the way that#they will be alienated. they will feel alienated#and this whatever this fandom is shouldn’t be about that#ever. you don’t know what people go through every fucking day#you definetely dont know how this sort of silencing mission you have going on#will affect people on the internet and their mental health#stop defending the imaginary people you think H/L are and start treating people in this fandom as actual human beings#and since you probably would like to know this: I am not currently working on any project because i am fucking scared of reaction like this
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I’m going to lose my mind oh my god I am so scared for this quincenera wtf
#NOT MINE BTW I MISSED MY CHANCE LMAO#but Jesus Christ family I’ve never met before flying in from Panama…. god I’m so scared#I’ve already been dealing with some wack ass imposter syndrome ass shit cuz of how I was raised this is gonna make it SO MUCH worse#I DIDNT EVEN KNOW PANAMANIANS GOT QUINCES#i was raised with almost zero influence from any culture whatsoever I wasn’t even raised close to that side of the family#and like I’m mixed with white but I can’t even use that as an excuse cuz the cousin who’s quince it is is also mixed#and that side of the family is super tied to the culture and they speak Spanish and shit#i don’t even speak Spanish even if the family from Panama doesn’t think ima. total embarrassment what if most of them don’t speak english#when I’m surrounded by white people 24/7 I feel like a total outlier but the second I’m around anyone else latine I feel like that but WORSE#i don’t speak Spanish I don’t know anything about the culture I’m from the fucking pacific northwest and do digital art and watch anime#i am so far completely removed from everything I’m gonna be sick#my grandma is already so judgy about stuff my uncle was even WORSE and made fun of the stuff that was too white or too American about me#my cousins throwing the party are the least of my worries cuz at least their mixed and second/third Gen too#but oh my god the family I’ve never met before I’m so scared I’m so scared#i was already thinking like. can I even call myself latine bc of how I was raised and how far removed I am from everything. I’m mixed so -#-should I just associate myself more with the white side of my family. am I being fraudulent by identifying with that term just bc I have -#-the blood is that even enough maybe that kid had a point when he said I shouldn’t count as hispanic if I don’t know spanish#and thinking about showing up to my cousins quince as. me. it’s terrifying it’s awful I want to go I want to meet these people I want to -#-celebrate my cousin and be happy for her but GOD what if everyone hates us and just tolerates us cuz we’re related to them#i would say we’re the black sheep of the family but I feel like white is more fitting cuz I feel like we’re just slightly brown white people#god god god I’m so stresssd out by this#is this a weird thing to be worried about is this stupid is this selfish#and to make matters worse I DONT KNOW WHAT TO GET HER FOR A GIRT#vent
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i have lost count of how many times i have cried today, i have yelled and screamed more than 10 times, collapsed to the floor more than 5 … im so exhausted now .. and slightly more stable.. but still the tears won’t stop. im a little glad they won’t.. i haven’t *felt* so much in a while. and maybe it is a little bit nice after months of dissociated autopilot.
#insane work expectations and deadlines put me in such a dissociated survival mode for the past few months#it calmed down at the beginning of this week#and suddenly i am so emotional and so exhausted#and i feel so much less capable#everything is more difficult and more exhausting#i spent months being insanely high performance at work and now i’m crying bc i feel overwhelmed making a ppt slide#i worked 14 hours one day last week making like 20 ppt slides#and so it feeling overwhelming to make 1 now makes me feel so stupid and guilty#even tho i know i shouldn’t.. i do#brains are so.. confusing#i know i am crashing from how unsustainable work has been and i know that’s a reasonable thing to be happening#but my body feels guilt about every little thing it can possibly twist into being guilt inducing#and right now there are soo many things it can guilt me with
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