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#I just. we have to stan. I understand time constraints of a movie but they could have edited out over half an hour of ~sexy teens~
karmaphone · 7 months
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also mad that the movie changed it to a light pink silk dress. Carrie chose red velvet for a reason. luxury (even imitation luxury) fabrics are Godless and Sinful and red is The Color Of Sin. it echoes the blood dress she wears later, it's a cry to God or Anyone Who'll Listen, it's a slap in her mother's face, it's a maroon stop sign to the plague of her mother's house and the impending slow death of her post-education life
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rael-rider · 3 years
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Thoughts on the First Episode of What-If...? I'm going to have to give this a special tag because I'm critical of some things in this 😂
So I'll start with my harshest criticism and that is that Sebastian Stan's voice action was awful which I understand in a way because being a VA is a whole different thing than regular acting but wow was his voice acting bad. There were moments when Bucky had to show surprise or show that he was worried and Stan's lines didn't evoke that and came off as flat or disinterested. Hayley Atwell and Dominic Cooper were better but they had the opposite problem IMO because at points they sounded like they were exaggerating their voices and it made some scenes feel hammy at points.
Josh Keaton and Ross Marquand on the other hand were pretty good. Especially Keaton who really nailed Chris Evan's voice. It wasn't an exact match and at times you can tell it was Keaton but he mimics Evans' voice very well to the point that his voice wasn't distracting. Ditto with Marquand for Weaving's Red Skull, he was good.
The animation lended itself well for action scenes, I know people commented on how Peggy did all this shit Steve didn't do in The First Avenger (which honestly treated Steve as strictly peak human, guy could lift a motorcycle and then later he's jumping off planes without parachutes and pulling helicopters, I mean...) but it's because with animation you can freely do more things and get away with more than you can in live action and without it being crazy expensive. This is why animation > live action for the superhero genre.
My complaint when it comes to the animation was the expressions, they tended to go from being fine to some slight stylized uncanny valley territory at some points and the voice sometimes didn't match some of the character's expressions. It felt pretty off. Also was it just me but did Arnim Zola not look like Toby Jones?
Story wise it was pretty weak, I expected this to be rushed because it's only a 30 minutes an episode at the most (I guess this is why Invincible went for a 42-49 minutes as oppose to the traditional 22-30 animation length per episode) so I wasn't expecting to see a training montage with Peggy or Steve trying to learn how to drive the Hydra Stomper or Howard figuring out how to make an Iron Man armor type of armor. I even accepted someone like Peggy wearing the Union Jack (which I don't think is something she would do) and her randomly calling herself Cap and Howard giving her the vibranium shield that Steve only had because he choose it even though Howard didn't want him to because it was "just a prototype". Yeah I guess that stuff we're suppose to accept because of time constraints (IMO mean Peggy with the serum would be a totally different character than Cap Steve but it's clear this What-If wants her to have the iconic Cap stuff and if so I wish they had kept her mask from the concept art). Buuuut I really did not care to see a mostly rehash of The First Avenger with some key differences but I feel like this episode should have wildly diverged from The First Avenger once Peggy got the serum but it just repeated a lot of the same scenes (Bucky's and the Howling Commandos rescue, Bucky and Steve drinking, the train scene, etc...) but with a few key difference. Heck even that scene that is suppose to happen before the divergence at the beginning of the movie with Red Skull going to Norway somehow happens after Peggy becomes Cap? Oh and without the tesseract Skull's plan just falls back into "lets bring a monster from another dimension" plan that wasn't really well thought out.
I think in part that this episode rehashed a lot of the stuff from TFA it kind of made it predictable in some ways. Like I knew that something was going to happen to Steve during the train scene and when the inter dimensional monster came out and Peggy fought I knew that was going to be her stuck in the ice moment. That she was going to go inside to trap herself with the monster and defeat it there. It's also pretty similar to what Cap did in the 90's Spider-Man cartoon with the exception that he went in fighting the Red Skull instead of a monster.
That said there were some pretty unique moments that I liked. Steve and Peggy's talk about what things changed for Peggy and how she says she used to have to shout and demand to be heard and now as Cap it came easier for her. Steve wondering what's it like being respected and taken seriously. It also reminds the viewer that Steve was disabled before getting the serum and he knew what it was to be in a position were he was judged and discriminated.
Speaking of Steve and Peggy I like their team up tag team fights against Hydra. That's the type of stuff Tony and Steve do in the comcis and it's the type of stuff I expected from them in the MCU (didn't happen) but it was great seeing it in here.
I guess I have more thoughts but it's mostly speculation and questions regarding this episode. Like how SHIELD formed without Peggy (People said Steve should be the founder but I really dislike that idea, Steve worked with SHIELD but he was always critical of the organization) and people speculating that Steve is going to be the Winter Soldier in this universe (do we even need a Winter Soldier in this?).
All in all this was a 5/10? I feel like they could have done more with this concept (you not only have Cap Peggy but you have Iron man Steve and you decide to do TFA again?) but the fact that this is an MCU related project and thet Kevin Feige limited the writers of this show with what they could or couldn't do and the fact that they can't introduce new characters, it really limits possibilities and creativity of what a What-If story should be.
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Dean's Top 13 Pitbull Traxx
1. Everything Tonight
Reflective of Dean's personal philosophy of "everything tonight," "Everything Tonight" shows life as if it's the last night on earth, where adherents are encouraged to "Grab somebody sexy tell 'em hey," as shown in canon frequently.
2. Timber
Themes of remembrance weave through this song and Dean's story arc, such as his desire to "Be the one you won't forget." The harmonica is also resemblant of Dean's cowboy lifestyle
3. Time of Our Lives
Pitbull was a frequent collaborator with Ne-Yo, just as Dean was a frequent collaborator with Crowley who reflects their partnership with immortal lines like "Always like a squirrel looking for a nut"
4. DJ Got Us Fallin' In Love Again
"My life is a movie and you're just TiVo," is a saying many who have watched "Supernatural" would be familiar with, as Dean is aware of his own narrative constraints, just like Pitbull
5. Fireball
It isn't until later seasons that Dean Winchester takes his supernatural adventures "Worldwide," but with references to Aerosmith and Julius Caesar, "Fireball" is a party song with a deeper meaning
6. I Like It
With references to vintage music like Lionel Richie's "All Night Long," this song just screams "Dean Winchester!" Its reflection of contemporary American society serves as a natural counterpoint to "Supernatural"
7. On The Floor
"If you're a criminal kill it on the floor," J-Lo commands to Pitbull, just like how frequently Dean teams up with forces more powerful than him as he is the perfect killer, some would say, getting "Donkey Kong" in his "Old-School Chevy"
8. Feel This Moment
Much of "Supernatural"'s cultural cachet came after its career even began, peaking in 2013 even though it had been relevant for years before, referencing cultural moments from his hometown, whether it be a return to Miami or to the flatlands of Kansas
9. Culo
An oldie but a goodie, this song harkens back to the "pussy era" of "Supernatural" with that mid-00s flair
10. I Know You Want Me (Calle Ocho)
"Que ola omega!" This song represents the duality between singing about want in both English and Spanish, which any "stan" of Dean Winchester should be familiar with
11. Get It Started
After fifteen years on the airwaves increasing the stakes at every opportunity, "Supernatural" attempted four spinoffs, but was not guided by the saying "Don't Start What You Can't Finish."
12. Amore
With a classic mobster flair and sounds reminiscent of old spaghetti westerns, Leona Lewis and Mr. 305 deliver chilling vocals that represent that "Dean Winchester" lifestyle
13. Back In Time
Do you like Huey Lewis and the News? Well this Pitbull song featuring retro vocals and psychedelic guitar riffs is a perfect compliment to Dean's own adventures with Time travel, and serves as a cyclical finale to this incredibly stupid playlist. "To understand the future, we have to go back in time."
😎🌎🔥
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xoruffitup · 4 years
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TROS (Mis)Characterizations: What Was and What Could Have Been
What started as responding to an anon ask turned into an entire meta... but working out all these thoughts has at least eased a bit of my TROS pain. :’) 
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From my perspective, TROS managed to destroy not only the characterizations built so far in the sequel trilogy, but also the entire story built upon these characters (mainly Reylo) as we knew them. While talking to a family member about the movie a few days ago and voicing my grievances with the story, he pointed out how someone could watch TFA and skip to TROS without realizing they’d missed much. That’s mostly true and entirely gutting.
Since I had an ask to talk about how TROS regressed in terms of characterization, I’ll start with the most hurtful of defacements: All of the nuanced vulnerability that made Kylo/Ben our most beloved character. We had absolutely nothing in TROS like the complex masterpiece moments of TLJ. Think back to “You are a monster.” / “Yes I am” – delivered with glowering menace as Kylo stalked closer, simultaneous to the tell of fragmented uncertainty in a quivering bottom lip and chin, all while his eyes remained completely riveted on Rey. Think back to “You’re not alone” – delivered with a wet sheen to his eyes in a soft cracked voice, but with self-loathing still smoldering behind his expression. Until the scene with Han, Kylo was shrunk into an entirely two-dimensional cookie cutter “villain” figure in TROS, seemingly more committed to the dark side and the First Order than he ever was to begin with in TFA. (I say “seemingly” because his true motives and interior dilemmas are frustratingly unclear in the entire first half of the movie. Cue me loathing the mask more than ever.)
Though Kylo seems uncharacteristically committed to the Supreme Leader role in TROS, considering he ended TLJ in a supplicating position fixing regretful eyes up towards Rey, luckily TROS did at least maintain the Force bond. …or at least the concept of it, because in execution the Force bond scenes achieved approximately nothing of what TLJ so uniquely excelled at: Creating a sense of intimacy, understanding, and forbidden tenderness between Rey and Ben. Instead of soft-spoken entreaties and promises across the soft glow of a fire or the dappling light of rain (ugh, remember the way light and shadow literally played out in contrasts across Kylo’s face during “I am a monster”? TLJ is a cinematic wonder, pass it on), we get scenes where the two yell and spit spite at each other. Most frustrating is how absolutely out of touch Kylo’s dialogue is with the Ben who was revealed through previous Force bond scenes. In a regression that makes absolutely no sense after Ben’s big proposal of “It’s time to let old things die: The Jedi, the Sith… I want you to join me” – he literally has the most reductive, bland, and meaningless lines such as “I will find you and turn you to the dark side.” ……..? Kylo has literally never been that boring or straightforward ever, not even since the TFA interrogation scene. He offered to be her teacher, sure, but never on terms that simplistic or blatantly combative to Rey’s will.
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What I’ve always passionately loved and defended about Reylo is that Kylo never forced Rey to do anything harmful or against her will. Even pushing her to the painful moment of admitting the truth (or so we FUCKIN’ THOUGHT) about her parentage during the throne room scene did, in the end, help her character come to terms with repressed trauma and move forward in her journey of self-determination. (haha look at me, still stuck in my feminist goggles as if they haven’t been ripped off my head by TROS…) The point is: The TLJ Force bond was never a means of threat. It was never a tool for Kylo to say something as blatantly antagonistic as “I will find you and turn you to the dark side.” (Wow, did a Kindergartener write that? Come the fuck on, JJ.) And I was deeply disappointed to see the Force bond reduced to a tool used only to tell a part of the story unrelated to Reylo; rather than being the means of developing their relationship in and of itself.
This feeds into my overall biggest grievance with how Kylo/Ben was handled in this film. Similar to the Force bond – Ben’s character was reduced to a secondary prop piece who mostly served only as a narrative device in advancing the Rey-Palpatine plotline. Look, I imagined for months ahead of TROS the kind of candid Force bond conversations we might hear. Like “No one (knows me)” / “But I do.” (Where the FUCK did that line go?! Apparently JJ doesn’t know her…) Or perhaps Ben apologizing and opening up to Rey about how unhappy he is in the dark, how alone he feels. Instead…. we got shit like “You’re his granddaughter.” Like how dare they disrespect Academy Award Nominee Adam Driver’s talent like that?
Now, looking past the fact for a moment that the Rey-Palpatine addition is insulting, unoriginal, and sexist; there could have been a very interesting dynamic here. We would have the grandson of Vader and the granddaughter of Palpatine feeling very different pulls to both light and darkness, Force bonded together as they struggle with the weight of these legacies. Kylo, I imagine, was probably partially excited when he learned it, because maybe this means that Rey would understand him fully and perhaps this time, once she learned the truth, she would finally be with him. But nope, we don’t get nearly that much of a look into Kylo’s head. He does say at one point “You can’t go back to her (Leia), just like I can’t,” but the line missed the mark a bit for me because TROS still had Kylo appealing to Rey from the perspective of “Join the dark side as if we’ve done away with all that grey morality complexity we introduced last movie” – rather than from the perspective of “Neither of us should feel alone ever again.”
I’m rather unspeakably bitter that we had no exploration into what Palpatine’s return meant for Ben. I imagine he would have gone a bit wild upon learning that the man who was responsible for his grandfather’s fall was still alive. And the revelation of “I have been every voice you’ve ever heard inside your head”? This was enough to bring Ben Solo stans to tears before we even watched the movie, and yet it was treated completely off-handedly. Ben never even gets his own moment of coming to terms with Palpatine’s return. No “My grandfather killed you – how is this possible?” Nothing like that at all – even though he’s the character who would be most affected by his return in terms of legacy implications. Nope; Ben’s first encounter with Palpatine at the beginning of the movie – the same encounter where we learn Palpatine has apparently been behind all of the dark side grooming, manipulation, and isolation Ben has suffered since he was literally in the womb – quickly veers towards “Kill the girl / She is not who you think she is.” Early warning here that Ben Solo as a character in dire need of resolution is about to be treated with utter apathy by this film.
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Here’s where I need to pause for a moment of self-awareness. While arguing with my Dad about this movie (he loved it), he threw at me that he thought I was being anti-feminist because I disliked the ending of Rey being alone. I quickly did my best to disabuse him of the idea that feminism = women being forever alone. This did make me think though about the implications of TROS veering away from the dual protagonist story framework that had been established up to this point; in favor of a narrative with Rey as the single and clear protagonist. The two main reasons I had such a knee-jerk reaction against this shift were A) It left a bad taste in my mouth after Rey ended TLJ emboldened by her acceptance of her past and unremarkable lineage; and B) It upended Reylo as the foundation of the entire story – also which we’d been led to expect. And I’m not just talking TLJ – I’m referencing back to JJ’s own Director’s commentary for TFA where he says “Now back to the story we really care about” when the film goes back to Rey and Kylo’s forest battle; who described Kylo as “a sort of prince,” and insinuated “you get the feeling there’s more going on here” when Kylo decided to spirit off Rey on Takodana. JJ set all the fucking clues here and then apparently forgot about each and every one.
However – am I perhaps not being fair to Rey in my disappointment that she doesn’t end the film in domestic bliss with Ben? Was I expecting something beneath her potential? Can I really say it’s a bad thing that the narrative rearranges itself in this film to focus chiefly on her? 
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The reason it all sits so wrong with me is because Rey’s characterization became bastardized for the sake of her solo narrative. Her character was essentially entirely effaced. The emphasis of her journey thus far pointed towards the crafting of one’s own identify; to the fact that might and greatness can reside within anyone, and it is up to that person alone to decide what kind of life to live with such power. Rey’s development at the end of TLJ indicated she’d found freedom from her past, and was now fully embracing the act of forging her own path without any constraints or shadows. But then, this road she’d been paving for herself was abruptly switched in TROS to one already completed and well-traveled, lined with unoriginal identity struggles and a copout for assigning Rey’s instincts of aggression and passion to the hereditary and ungendered “dark side.” This sudden switch stripped away all of Rey’s unique identity struggles, as well as her agency to define her own story.
Confining Rey to such an unoriginal and unfortunate struggle also required that her own goals and desires be changed as well. When faced with a legacy of evildoers, Rey’s story immediately shifts away from being focused on her, and rather to remedying the mistakes of men who came before. Rey’s own story was about a thousand times more interesting when she was in the center of it. As a twitter post I saw a few days ago but now frustratingly can’t find said very aptly: Male viewers found “Rey Skywalker” satisfying because they see a happy ending as being the “best” or the most powerful. Female viewers see a happy ending as being truly seen, understood, and valued for the person one is. (If anyone knows the source, please let me know...)
Rey used to say she wanted to learn “her place in all this.” That doesn’t indicate a thirst for greatness or power; but rather for belonging and connection. She has spent most of her story so far thinking back to her parents, then spent a solid 2 minutes in TROS looking longingly and smiling at the alien babies on Pasaana, which hello motherhood signaling. She has been happiest in moments when she felt valued and connected to those around her.
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The idea of having greatness bestowed upon her by some external entity (aka a man) was already examined and rejected in TLJ. (Read: throne room proposal scene.) But in TROS, this act of external determination is thrust onto her regardless of her will. In so doing, her possession of a legacy rewrites and predetermines all of her goals, battles, and the key facets of her identity. She no longer has the freedom to embrace and cherish her found or chosen family; instead, her goal is to rid herself of the “family” that’s been thrust upon her – making what’s now presumably her happy ending of being disconnected from her assigned family the complete opposite from everything her character previously yearned for. Standing alone in a desert with the company of only half-remembered spirits is likely what filled the nightmares of young Rey of Jakku.
This is, of course, why the dual protagonist/Reylo narrative we expected to see in this film was so compelling. While doing none of Rey’s decision-making for her or removing any agency from the formation of her own identity; her force-bonded relationship with Ben offered Rey belonging, understanding, and purpose. Ben was the only character who could understand how debilitating and frightening it was to feel her Force sensitivity come alive and waver between the light and dark; just as he was the only one who could comfort her in that conflict without infringing on her independence. Once we saw dark!Rey in that D23 footage, I think every Reylo imagined scenes where Palpatine begins to sink his control into Rey’s mind and Ben rushes to her side to pull her back towards the light, because he knows all too well what those voices are like inside his head and he’d rather hear them all again than watch Rey suffer it.
From several perspectives, Reylo fighting and defeating Palpatine together is also the only ending that makes sense from a holistic storytelling perspective. (I mean both of them wielding blue sabers against Palpatine and fighting together in tandem – rather than that single crowd-pleaser shot of them hefting their complementary lightsabers together before Ben gets brushed off into a pit…) While Ben is the legacy character, representing all that our beloved original characters fought and suffered for; Rey is the new-generation character, representing a new age and the banishing of old mistakes which continued to perpetuate conflict. Only these representatives of new and old; of royal legacy and self-made upstart; could truly banish all of the harm committed in the galaxy by Palpatine and remedy all the loss and suffering effected throughout the Skywalker line. To have only a single character recently revealed to be related to Palpatine facing him alone (no matter how “badass” that might make said female character seem by superficial standards), rather than a union with the single remaining descendant of the Skywalker line himself is simply unsatisfactory and directionless storytelling. It is Palpatine’s manipulation towards three generations of Skywalkers that was the sole catalyst for all of the warfare, struggle, and conflict we’ve witnessed throughout this entire 9-film series. To not even engage with Ben Solo-Skywalker’s troubled relationship to that heritage and to completely fail in realizing the emotional catharsis and resolution that stood there waiting is nothing short of infuriatingly shortsighted storytelling. J.J. claimed in several interviews that this film was crafted with the entire preceding story in mind, as a cap to everything that came before. I have absolutely no idea which story he was referring to.
And so, from the perspectives of this film alone, the sequel trilogy, and the entire 9-film saga as a whole – Yes, I do claim that it was a poor decision in terms of story telling and character integrity to reconfigure the narrative to focus solely on Rey. For the reasons just mentioned, it was an utter disservice to Rey’s character arc. To reduce all of the tragedy, charisma, and youthful potential in Kylo/Ben’s character to a secondary narrative device is nothing short of shameful. Not to mention wasting all of Adam’s potential for playing truly heart-wrenching scenes of Ben’s penitent soul-searching. I will never forgive the fact that Ben had literally not a word of dialogue after his quick conversion scene halfway through the movie. Not only does he play no major role in the final battle with Palpatine, but aside from charging in heroically and doing a phenomenal Solo Shrug, he isn’t allowed a single moment of interiority. He has no speech to Palpatine declaring his change of heart and his reclaimed heritage. Perhaps most painful of all – he and Rey never even have their Big Talk where we expected Ben to apologize for the doings of Kylo Ren and for both of them to affirm their desire to be together and their devotion to each other. Adam did a pretty amazing job demonstrating all that in how he cradled Rey’s body and couldn’t even bear to look into her lifeless face (RIP my heart). But no matter how phenomenal and tender the Reylo kiss was, how luminous Rey’s smile was when she said “Ben,” and how achingly loving his eyes were when he looked at her – I can’t help feeling crushingly cheated that their love itself wasn’t what enabled the victory. Rather than the strength they lent to each other through a union that defied light-dark dichotomy (as it should have been and as the story was previously leading towards), it was rather Rey’s miracle heritage that won the day. The fact that Ben never says a damn word when he stands before Palpatine, or when Rey kisses him and he finally realizes she does care for him too – makes both their bond and Ben’s entire character feel like a throw-away prop only there for Rey to wear so long as this feeble story needed it.
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I’ve been trying to put my finger on what made TROS’ plot so underwhelming and lifeless compared to TLJ or even TFA. The difference between TLJ and TROS in the simplest terms is that TLJ’s narrative was character-driven, whereas TROS subjected its characters to a narrative. Rather than a huge space battle, TLJ’s biggest moments are Rey and Kylo’s throne room proposal and Kylo and Luke’s showdown on Crait. Both of these moments had huge emotional stakes for the characters involved, which was what made them epic. TROS’ narrative, meanwhile, uses twists like the Rey Palpatine reveal to manipulate its characters in inorganic directions, and builds towards a finale that is unrelated to any of the long-standing challenges our heroes have confronted throughout the story. TROS derided its characters down to mere tools for a superficial spectacle of a story. TLJ, on the other hand, made its characters the story. It’s no wonder I found myself strangely numb and disconnected the first time I saw TROS.
Now, I’m just angry and disappointed. Disappointed that such brilliant, wonderful characters were wasted. Angry that we’ve imagined a hundred endings more appropriate and fair to the characters we hold dear. I am trying to appreciate what I can from the film and hold on to the few beautiful moments, but I definitely plan on writing my own fic version of how TROS might have played out, had it upheld the complexity and integrity of its characters. Even still, I’m quite sure we all know and understand Ben Solo much better than J.J. or Chris Terrio, so in our hearts Ben will find the happy ending he deserves.
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unpack-my-heart · 4 years
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De Profundis
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Written for @violetreddie​ as a very late secret santa gift! I hope you like it 🥦
@tinyarmedtrex @xandertheundead​ @constantreaderfool​ @appojoos​ @moonlightrichie​ @toziesque​ @eds-trashmouth​ 
Click HERE to read the whole thing on AO3
Preview:
When they were in high school, they had always been EddieAndRichie. Inseparable, Maggie Tozier had called them. She cooed when they went to prom together, “just as friends, Eds, just friends, two bros, chillin’ in tuxes, totes platonic, you know the drill,” Richie had insisted, after badgering Eddie to tell him what colour tie he planned to wear so that they’d match. It was at this prom that they’d stood on the football field in the pouring rain and sworn that they’d apply to the University of Maine for college, that they’d convince the others to come too, but, more importantly, that they’d remain EddieAndRichie, no space, no room for anything, or anyone, else.
“It’s just you an’ me, Eds, s’how it’ll always be,” Richie had shouted, voice fighting against the torrent of water falling from the sky, and Eddie had nodded fervently.
“You and me”
After senior prom, and the most bizarre moment of Eddie’s life, when Richie had lent in so close to Eddie’s face that he went cross-eyed, and Eddie was so sure that Richie was going to kiss him, before he’d pulled away and lept out of his own mothers moving car at the intersection, everything had changed.
It wasn’t a tectonic shift at first, nothing too dramatic or noticeable to the undiscerning eye. The movies that Eddie watched late at night when his mother was having her NyQuil nightmares told him, with their hazy colour palettes, that the summer between high school and college, when he was not a boy, not yet a man, was a transformative time, an eight week stretch that didn’t abide by such silly constraints as time and space, when things, and people, changed and always, these movies insisted, always, for the better.
The movies lied.
Read the whole thing under the cut
The first day of the rest of Eddie’s life fizzled like a dud firework. The University of Maine, those hallowed halls that Eddie had romantically-with-a-capital-R imagined himself walking down, books clutched in his hands, glasses that he didn’t need perched studiously on the end of his nose, had been the place that, according to the brochure, would nurture him, would propel him forward to greatness with a great shove, and Eddie had eaten up these sickly promises greedily. In actuality, Sonia had dumped Eddie at the entrance to his dorm building with a sob and a screech, and, as soon as her car turned the corner and disappeared out of sight, the bottom of Eddie’s suitcase had given up and his clothes hit the pavement with a dull thud.
If Eddie had been the kind of person who cried, he’d have cried. He’d have dropped to his knees dramatically, thrown his head back and howled his woes at the grey-blue sky with his teeth bared. But he wasn’t. Eddie Kaspbrak didn’t cry. Instead, he swept as many articles of clothing as he could into his grasp and walked purposefully towards the registration desk.
“Eddie Kaspbrak, I’d sign my own name but … y’know, clothes”
The girl sat behind the desk laughed.
“I can see that, but I really do need your signature, otherwise I can’t hand over your keys”
“Seriously?”
“As a heart-attack, I’m afraid. I could take over on don’t-let-Eddie’s-jumpers-drag-along-the-floor duty whilst you sort yourself out though?”
“Are you sure?” Eddie asked, already thrusting the bundle of clothing at her, “you’re a life-saver, I swear to God”
“Us members of the arrival survival team take our pledge very seriously, I’m just doing my job,” the girl said with an exaggerated shrug, sending a sleeve of one of Eddie’s shirts flying over her shoulder.
Eddie filled in the relevant paperwork, signing his name with an overemphasised flourish. The girl handed his clothing back, revealing the name tag that was pinned haphazardly to her sweater.
“Kay? You’re a peach. Thank you. Now, uh,” Eddie said, shifting his grip on the clothes so he didn’t drop his keys, “which way do I need to go? I think I’m in the Arthur Lewis building but I … have no idea where that is”
– X –
The diner smelt like three-day-old oil and loneliness, the kind that only those who sought solace under the flickering lights of a 24 hour diner will ever understand, and the bell jingled miserably when Eddie pushed the door open. He shook his head like a dog, droplets of rain water spraying the wall, much to the chagrin of the overworked and under-payed waitress.
“Eddie! Over here!”
A familiar voice cut through the clanging of pots and the low chatter of the other patrons of Bob Grey’s Diner.  
Eddie picked his way through the labyrinth of tables, before slumping down onto the crackled leather seat, immediately dropping his head onto Beverly’s shoulder.
“Hey,” he muttered, eyes closed against the artificial light of the sign buzzing in the window.
BOB GR Y’S DIN R
BOB GR Y’S DIN R
BOB GR Y’S DIN R
“You’re late,” Bev said, factually, but she didn’t look at him, instead continuing to push half-eaten eggs around her plate with a fork.
“I know, I got held up at home,” Eddie replied. It was a lie, a white lie but a lie nonetheless, and a lie that he knew Beverly would see right through, but he said it anyway.
“Hiya, Eds!”
“Don’t call me Eds, Richard”
It began almost immediately. Richie would lunge forward with an aborted attempt at humour, perhaps chastise Eddie for something, “why do you order like such an old woman, Eds?” and Eddie would parry with a “shut the fuck up, trash-for-brains”, before it’d start all over again. It was exhausting, and Eddie would limp off the battlefield with new wounds that would scab over and form fresh scars, but there was something intoxicating about it. The most fucked up mating ritual in the animal kingdom.
“Can I getcha anything, sweetheart?” the waitress asked, and Eddie snapped out of his introspection with a sharp jolt.
“Uh, maybe, yeah, yeah, hang on, uh, can I get the, uh – the eggs? But can I get them on whole-wheat instead of white bread, please? And, maybe, maybe the – uh – the orange juice? But no ice, oh and could you double check the eggs don’t come with pepper, please? Thank you, thank you so much”
He handed the menu back over to the disinterested waitress with a sheepish grin, and turned his attention back to the table, only to be met with that familiar Richie smirk.
The dance continued.
“So,” Richie began, and Eddie tensed, steeling himself. “So, you’ve decided you’re allergic to pepper now, too?”
“Pardon?” Eddie replied, shooting for bored but sailing straight past and landing on uptight.
“Pepper. Could you, uh, could you maybe please maybe make sure there isn’t any of that nasty sneezy pepper on my uh, on my eggs? Thank you so much, thank you,”
“Fuck you”
“If you ask nicely, sure”
“You’re incorrigible”
“That’s a big word for such a little boy”
“I’m going to garrotte you with Stan’s dental floss, don’t think I won’t, because I will, I’ll come at you in the night”
“I’m trembling in my boots, Spaghetti, honestly”
“Jesus, will you two either go fuck in the bathroom or shut up? You’re making my ears bleed,” Bev said, shoving at Richie with a playful but still sharp elbow.
The rest of the losers ignored them and their bickering, instead busying themselves with lamenting about their huge college workloads.
“Professor Sumner has really been on my ass this semester, I handed in three problem sheets yesterday and she’s still not happy –”
“Yeah! I submitted my portfolio for the semester for grading four weeks ago and I still haven’t had it back, every time I check my grade I feel like –”
“Oh Jesus and don’t even get me started on how many exams I have when we get back after the Christmas break, just looking at my exam timetable is enough to –”
“I have INTOLERANCES, Richard! It’s not my fucking fault pepper makes me sneeze!”
“Pepper makes everyone sneeze, you moron!”
The monthly brunch was permanently etched into each of the Losers’ calendars on the last Sunday of every month. It was Mike’s idea. Initially, they’d tried to stick to a weekly schedule, dedicating each and every Sunday to each other, but the cracks had soon started to show. Stan was the first to become flaky, missing this Sunday and that, citing difficult homework or plans with new friends as the reason for not showing up. Then, Bill had stopped coming almost all-together, showing his face perhaps once a month at most, and even when he did, he’d disappear almost immediately after finishing his food. When they’d gone almost a whole month without seeing each other at all, Bev had rung Eddie with steel in her voice and demanded that he help her organise an intervention. Eddie had been reticent at first, having almost convinced himself that he was bizarrely content with letting the flame of their friendship die down, but then Richie had, without warning, turned up at his door with a blanket tucked under his arm and deep purple rings framing his eyes.
“I can’t sleep”
“Come in, Rich”
– X –
When they were in high school, they had always been EddieAndRichie. Inseparable, Maggie Tozier had called them. She cooed when they went to prom together, “just as friends, Eds, just friends, two bros, chillin’ in tuxes, totes platonic, you know the drill,” Richie had insisted, after badgering Eddie to tell him what colour tie he planned to wear so that they’d match. It was at this prom that they’d stood on the football field in the pouring rain and sworn that they’d apply to the University of Maine for college, that they’d convince the others to come too, but, more importantly, that they’d remain EddieAndRichie, no space, no room for anything, or anyone, else.
“It’s just you an’ me, Eds, s’how it’ll always be,” Richie had shouted, voice fighting against the torrent of water falling from the sky, and Eddie had nodded fervently.
“You and me”
After senior prom, and the most bizarre moment of Eddie’s life, when Richie had lent in so close to Eddie’s face that he went cross-eyed, and Eddie was so sure that Richie was going to kiss him, before he’d pulled away and lept out of his own mothers moving car at the intersection, everything had changed.
It wasn’t a tectonic shift at first, nothing too dramatic or noticeable to the undiscerning eye. The movies that Eddie watched late at night when his mother was having her NyQuil nightmares told him, with their hazy colour palettes, that the summer between high school and college, when he was not a boy, not yet a man, was a transformative time, an eight week stretch that didn’t abide by such silly constraints as time and space, when things, and people, changed and always, these movies insisted, always, for the better.
The movies lied.
The morning after senior prom, Eddie woke before Richie. He grabbed his suit, where it lay crumpled in a sad little pile in the middle of Richie’s bombsite bedroom, and left without saying goodbye. Richie didn’t ring him. Eddie hovered around in the kitchen when he got home, but the phone didn’t ring. Around lunch time, Eddie sat at the kitchen table, pretending to be very interested indeed in the story his mother was telling him about the woman who worked at the supermarket on a Wednesday and her mother’s brother’s son’s daughter’s scandalous second marriage. Yes, mother, do please tell me more about this woman and her promiscuous affair with the postman while I sit here and wait for my best-friend-but-maybe-not-anymore to ring me to settle this tempest in my stomach. The tempest raged on well into the evening, and the bland stew that Sonia Kaspbrak proffered went uneaten on the kitchen counter.
Soon enough, and without consciously realising, Eddie stopped waiting for the phone to ring.
– X –
“I can’t sleep”
“Come in, Rich”
Clasping the blanket tightly between his hands, Richie shuffled into the room.
“This is weird”
“Is it?”
“Not really,” Richie said, flopping down onto Eddie’s bed. “That’s precisely why it’s so weird”
Not knowing how to respond, Eddie busied himself putting his study materials away into neat piles. Pencils here, anthology of renaissance poetry there, a packet of post-its balanced neatly on top.
“Are you okay?” Eddie asked, and Richie nodded his head in response, before pausing for a beat, and then shaking it.
“Not really, Eddie Spaghetti, not really”
“Oh.”
A pause. A pause that stretched for slightly too long, and then a great, deafening silence. Richie lay on the bed, arm thrown dramatically over his eyes, and Eddie stood awkwardly in the corner of his own room, a stranger imposing on an intimate moment, made even more painful by the fact that he didn’t know whether he was allowed to console Richie anymore, or whether Richie would shrug him off as he would a barely-there acquaintance.
“Aren’t you going to ask me what’s wrong?”
“What’s wrong?” Eddie asked dutifully, but remained shielded by the comfort of his corner, a poignant distance maintained between them.
“Ah,” Richie said, a glint in his eye that Eddie didn’t recognise, “don’t worry about it. I’m fine, really I am. Just got a case of can’t-sleep-itis. I’ll survive, the prognosis looks pretty good”
Considering it was the first time in just under a month that they had spent more than brief moments in the hallways together, small waves and tiny smiles at each other over the raging sea of other students, before one of them got swept up in the tide and was pulled away before greetings could be exchanged.
“I’m going to take a lit elective,” Richie said, as easily as if he’d just told Eddie that it was going to snow the next day. “Oh, and it’s supposed to snow tomorrow”
“Pardon?”
“Yeah, the weather dude said we were supposed to get a few inches over-night, but I’ve got a few inches I can give him overnight if you catch my drift,” Richie said, grabbing at his crotch gratuitously.
‘What? No – gross. I’m not – No. I meant the lit elective, you’re taking a lit class?”
“Yup,” Richie said, popping the ‘p’ like it was bubblegum, “I got it all sorted a few weeks ago, actually. I’m taking the ‘poetry and experiment’ class”
“Ben’s taking that, he said he’s enjoying it so far, he said it was helping him push the boundaries of genre, and he said that –”
“Are we a prospectus now? Push the boundaries of genre?”
“That’s what Ben said!” Eddie said, defensively, and crossed his arms over his chest. Richie laughed at him, a laugh that Eddie had never heard before, that sounded more like a shaky gasp than genuine laughter.
“C’mere, you moron. Why are you stood in the corner, all blair-witchy?”
“I dunno”
“Yes, you do”
“No, I’m just – stood. There isn’t a reason for –”
“Yes, there is”
“No there isn’t!”
“Eds…”
“Richard”
“Come sit with me”
“Okay”
As he sat down next to Richie, Eddie could feel his heart thumping like a pneumatic drill, hammering against the cage of his ribs. He was sure that Richie could hear it too, but if he could, Richie didn’t mention it. All he did was swoop his arms around Eddie’s shoulders and tug him down, and Eddie squawked as he fell, but he still let Richie rearrange his limbs so they were sat close together, Richie tucked around Eddie’s side neatly.
“Have you spoken to Bev?” Eddie asked.
“Hmm,” Richie hummed, stroking a hand through Eddie’s hair thoughtfully. “She rang me yesterday, something about getting the old gang back together. What do you think?”
“I nearly said no”
“Really?”
“Yeah, I nearly said that I didn’t care if we all drifted apart, that that’s what happens to people when you go to college, everyone says so”
“Not everyone fought, and brutally murdered, a demonic clown from outer space with their friends before they’d even finished going through puberty, some of us still haven’t finished going through –”
The sentence died in Richie’s mouth as Eddie pummelled him with closed fists, shrieking as he did so.
“Fuck you, Richard!”
“Hey! Hey now, I’m – Jesus, short-stack, I was joking! Suspend the attack, call off the troops, ooof!”
After flipping Richie off, Eddie turned so he was lying on his side, so that his back was flush against Richie’s front.
“I know, I – I guess I was starting to forget”
“Forget?”
“Forget what it was like when we were all together, that – that feeling I get in my gut when I’m with you all, like – like this is where I’m supposed to be, you know? Like, these are my people”
Richie nodded.
“Yeah, yeah I get you. I said yes, but mainly because I was scared Red would come at me with those massive fabric shears if I said no”
With that, all of the tension drained out of the room, and out of Eddie’s spine. They spent the evening in Eddie’s bed, always curled around each other, always talking in hushed tones, always breathing in sync. When he was sure that Richie was in a deep sleep, Eddie, trying not to think too much about the reasons why, logged onto the college portal and swapped out ‘contemporary literary theory and its applications’ for ‘poetry and experiment’.
When Eddie woke in the morning, Richie had gone.
– X –
The next time Eddie saw Richie was just under a week later, when Richie loped into the seminar room for Poetry and Experiment. Eddie, who always sat next to a very enthusiastic Benjamin Hanscom, shrunk down in his seat, as if he could hide behind the three large textbooks on his table. No such luck.
“Well, fancy seeing you two fine feathered fellas here!”
“Hiya, Richie! Eddie told me you were going to start taking this course, it’s great to have you!” Ben said, pulling out the empty chair next to him, before gesturing for Richie to sit down.
“Ah, yes, he told me that you’d be here, handsome, but not that he took this course also! Holding out on me, Kaspbrak?”
“Well, actually, Eddie has only just transferred to this course, he dropped –”
“Hey! Ben, esslay ofyay ethay ansferredtray,” Eddie hissed at Ben, but Richie just raised an eyebrow in challenge.
“oureyay utecay enwhay oureyay anickedpay. You’re not the only one that speaks Pig Latin here, Eds”
“Shut up”
“Ever the charmer, isn’t he, Ben? Just gets my heart a’thumpin,” Richie said, before he reached down into his backpack and pulled out a notebook. “Right, I don’t know about you but I’m ready to flex my poetry muscles, you up for the challenge, Kaspbrak?”
“Bring it on, Richard”
– X –
The seminar was a disaster. Each of the students stood up at the end of the two hour session to read out what they had so far, and Eddie was the last to go. He stood up with trembling knees and read from his notebook in wavering, hushed tones.
“…That way, she’d live forever. That’s, uh, that’s all I’ve got”
Richie yawned, long, dramatic, and fake, from his corner of the room.
“Blank verse? Pretty uninspired, Eds. It’s okay, though, we can’t all be John Milton, no hard feelings”
“At least I don’t have a stupid fucking TS Eliot tattoo,” Eddie shot back lightning fast, face immediately creasing in embarrassment when the professor shot up, scolding him for his profanity.
“Now, enough! Sit down you two. Eddie, that poem was a good start indeed, but I am tempted to side with Richie on this, blank verse was certainly the easy way out. I have a few other notes …”
Immediately after the seminar had ended and the professor had dismissed them, Eddie shot out of the room as quickly as a buttered bullet.
“Eddie! Wait!”
It was Ben.
“I have a message to deliver to the whole class, could you come back a sec?”
Reluctantly, Eddie slunk back into the classroom to find Ben stood at the front of the room, several pieces of paper in his hands.
“Right, as most of you, or at least some of you, know, I’ve wanted to start an undergraduate literary journal here at U of M for some time, and I managed to convince the dean to give me the funding so … here we are! I’ve got enough writers for the criticism and stuff, but I need some essayists and poets to flesh out the fiction sections. If you want to submit work, please take a signup sheet! Thanks, guys!”
As soon as Ben had stopped talking, and a small huddle of people had gathered around him, Eddie slipped out of the room again.
“Eds! Wait!”
It was Richie
“Jesus, I didn’t know such little legs could move so fast,” he continued, jogging to catch up with Eddie who didn’t slow down.
“What do you want, Richie?”
“Not signing up for the journal? I thought you’d want to submit She Who Mocks or something”
“Naw, like the professor said, it was uninspired,” Eddie mumbled, taking a sharp left turn, almost losing Richie to the thrum of the crowds in the process.
“I don’t think the prof used that word, Eds, and I was just ribbing you when I said it, you know that”
“Drop it, Rich. I’m not signing up”
“Well, neither am I, so you’re in good company. Mike ran into me earlier and said that he and Stan were going to be at the ‘bucks, shall we?”
“Never call it ‘the ‘bucks’ again and you’ve got yourself a deal”
– X –
So … this journal thing
you gonna sign up? :O
Thinking about it. What do I have to do?
send me the poem you’d like to submit, and if it’s successful it’ll be in the Christmas vol which will be published just b4 the end of this semester!!!!!!
If I do submit something, which I might not, you can’t tell R
why?
Just don’t, okay?
he likes u, u know
*rolling eye emoji*
Send it to my college email when you’re done x
Eddie logged off of AOL messenger, opened a blank word document, and took a deep breath.
– X –
Eddie had almost forgotten about the literary journal when a copy of The Maine Literary Review landed in his pigeon hole one frosty December morning. He blinked stupidly at the journal for a few seconds, before he picked it up gingerly, as if it might explode in his hands. Holding his breath, and anxious for a reason he couldn’t place, he flicked to the contents page, and there it was, in size twelve Calibri font.
Birdbones by Mr Bleaney (p. 23)
“Huh,” Eddie breathed out loud to no one but himself. “Huh”
He was now, technically, a published poet. Edward F. Kaspbrak, published poet. It had a ring to it. Not that anyone would know that he, demure little Eddie, had actually written birdbones, and if anyone asked, of course he’d deny ownership. But he knew, and that was enough.
He scanned the rest of the contents page briefly, and his eye was caught by one particular name.
You by De Profundis (p. 24)
Eddie rolled his eyes. De Profundis. Almost certainly a pseudonym chosen for the writers affinity for Oscar Wilde.. He flicked to page twenty-four, and read the sonnet once, twice, three times before he shoved the journal in the front zip pocket of his backpack. Trite. That was the word that most accurately described what he had just read. Trite, with a sort of cloying optimism that turned Eddie’s stomach and made his teeth itch.
When he returned to his dorm in the brief interlude between classes, he started jotting a few lines of verse down, mind swimming with You, You, You, and then, before he’d given it much conscious thought, a new poem was staring up at him, fresh and shiny. And, within it, a small, barely-there jab at De Profundis.
         … From the depths of vacuity, he sits, Promethean, ….
When he found the time, Eddie typed the poem up and sent it off to Ben without giving it a second thought.
– X –
“You’re late again”
“I know, I know”
“Richie’s late too”
“I know”
“You walked in together”
“I am aware”
“Do you have anything you’d like to –”
“Absolutely not,” Eddie said, turning his body away from Bev and her inquisition, and towards Mike and Stan who were currently debating the merits of IHOP syrup over the stuff Stan buys at Trader Joes.
Richie sat next to Eddie, elbows on the table, head cradled in the palm of his hands. He was watching Eddie. Eddie could see him, out of the corner of his eye, helped by the fact that Richie was making no attempt to hide his gaze.
“Have I got syrup on my face?” Eddie asked eventually, squirming under Richie’s gaze.
“Nope”
“A bit of pancake? A forgotten smudge of shaving foam?”
“Don’t joke, Eds, we all know you don’t need to shave yet”
“Asshole,” Eddie scolded, and he tried to shove at Richie with his hand but Richie caught it mid-air, and pulled it down towards the familiar crackled leather of the booth.
Eddie tried to pull his hand away, but Richie held tight, wrapping Eddie’s smaller hand up in his. They weren’t holding hands, not really, but Eddie’s hand was soft and pliant in Richie’s and it almost felt like something, something that just friends don’t do.
“So,” Ben started, drumming his fingers on the table in what Eddie imagined Ben hoped looked inconspicuous, “the first volume of my journal came out”
“I’m so proud of you, babe,” Bev said, running a hand through Ben’s sandy hair.
“Aw, I barely did anything. I had some really great submissions, actually. Especially from two poets in particular, really chalk and cheese, but I put them together because –”
The rest of Ben’s sentence faded to white noise as Eddie felt Richie’s hand tense around his. Eddie looked up at Richie, and was met with a soft smile and a squeeze for his efforts.
“You okay?” Richie whispered.
“I’m fine, I’m great, yeah, it’s all groovy”
“Groovy?”
“S’what I said”
“Why are you nervous?”
“I’m not nervous”
“Yes you are”
“M’not”
“Is it because I’m holding your hand?”
“Absolutely not”
And, as if to prove it, Eddie wiggled his fingers in between Richie’s, interlocking them so that they were holding hands properly.
“Eddie, have you looked at Ben’s journal yet? Inquiring minds want to know,” Stan asked, an innocent enough question but panic shot through Eddie’s spine like adrenaline.
“Uh, sort of. I had a flick through, I wasn’t that impressed”
Richie’s thumb stilled from where it was rubbing small circles on Eddie’s skin.
“You weren’t?” Ben asked, sounding mildly hurt.
“Oh, I mean, it was put together beautifully and your editor’s note was brilliant, and some of the essays were very good, very original stuff about Frankenstein and I liked the thought piece about the influence of Icelandic ghost stories on nineteenth-century culture, but some of the poems were …"
Eddie paused, and Richie didn’t breathe.
“Some of the poems were awful”
“Awful?” Richie asked, voice quieter and more serious than Eddie had heard it in a long time.
“Well, maybe not awful but … cliché. Chocolate box poetry, a dime a dozen type stuff”
“Care to name drop any particularly awful pieces?”
“Well, that birdbones poem was pretty shite, and the pseudonym was ridiculous”
“You like that Larkin poem, though. You read it to me when we moved out of Derry, said that it made you feel old and young all at the same time,” Richie said, voice even but Eddie could sense there existed an undercurrent of annoyance.
“Well yes, but … still,” Eddie finished feebly, waving his hands around as if they could speak better than his mouth.
“Huh,” was all Richie said, before excusing himself to the bathroom, and, without providing an explanation to the rest of his friends, Eddie followed him.
Richie was standing in front of the sink when Eddie pushed his way into the men’s room, staring at himself in the grimey mirror.
“Are you okay?” Eddie asked, leaning against the wall and trying not to think about the hundreds of other patrons who had also leant against that very wall, very probably without having washed their hands or their other appendages properly.
“Huh? Me? I’m fine, Eddie Spaghetti, don’t you worry about me”
“I’m not worried, I’m just … concerned”
“Eddie,” Richie laughed, turning around, “they’re synonyms. They mean the same thing”
“No they don’t!” Eddie insisted, “they mean entirely different things. Worry is more extreme, I am … diluted worry, worry with added water”
“Whatever you say, my little worrywart,” Richie said, pushing his way out of the bathroom to re-join the others at their booth. Eddie followed, unconvinced but not willing to push it further.
– X –
The next volume of The Maine Literary Review landed in Eddie’s pigeon hole three weeks after Christmas break. As he had before, Eddie flicked to the contents page with shaking fingers. And, as had been the case before, there he was, or rather, there Mr Bleaney was, right there, immortalised on the page.
From the Depths by Mr Bleaney (p. 14)
Eighteen by De Profundis (p. 15)
There they were, right next to each other, nestled on opposite pages like the best of friends. The name of Eddie’s poem would surely catch the attention of De Profundis, and if that didn’t, the reference in the poem surely would, if De Profundis would actually bother to read Eddie’s poem, of course.
– X –
Eddie would always remember the first time De Profundis name checked him in one of their poems. He’d been idly flicking through the Journal, not having been enticed by the title of his self-proclaimed rivals offering, – The Sailor Who Fell From The Stars – and he’d decided to briefly scan the poem when a particular stanza caught his eye.
                      From the depths of vacuity
                      All I see are flowered curtains, thin and frayed,
                      Falling to within five inches of the sill.
                      Do you warrant better? I don’t know ….
A fist made of stone and poetry punched Eddie in the stomach. De Profundis used his words. De Profundis used his words, spat them back in his face, and then stamped on them for good measure.
This was, as far as Eddie was concerned, a declaration of war, and Eddie wasn’t about to surrender.
– X –
Void. by Mr Bleaney (1st Feb 2003)
… the winds are cold and so are you,
baseless insults, show yourself ….
Testify by De Profundis (11th March 2003)
… the winds grow tired of your howling, the void will spit you out ….
Everything by Mr Bleaney (23rd April 2003)
one day
you will bleed the words I
breathed into your skin
and there will be no bandage
and you will rot in a pool of naïve
sincerity you never deserved
sssssstutter by De Profundis (15th May 2003)
… my fuh-fuh-friend, don’t bluh-bluh-bleed on the carpet,
Your wuh-words will stain …
I am not your friend by Mr Bleaney (4th June 2003)
See above.
“Eddie,” Ben sighed, the crackle of the phone signal obscuring his words somewhat, “That last submission wasn’t really a poem, was it”
“Who are you, Benjamin Hanscom, to tell me that that wasn’t a poem. You’re telling me that that doesn’t count as a post-structuralist, postmodernist attempt to subvert the reader’s expectations about what poetry actually is and force them to look up for answers? Up to the title, perhaps? You need to broaden your horizons, Sir”
“Eddie.”
“Yes, yes, fine. I know it was a bullshit excuse for a poem, but you didn’t have to publish it!” Eddie said, voice verging on shrill.
Ben sighed. “Yes I did. You would have accused me of ‘not appreciating your art’ if I didn’t. And, at any rate, I heard from De Profundis a few days before”
“… You did?”
“Yes. He asked if you’d sent in a response to stutter”
“Ssssstutter,” Eddie corrected, causing Ben to laugh. “Why did he want to know?”
“Ask him yourself”
Eddie rolled his eyes, but, upon realising that Ben couldn’t see him roll his eyes over the phone, Eddie just groaned.
“I’ve got to go, I’m meeting Rich at Coffee Hoppers in 10”
“Enjoy your date”
“Thanks – wait, I mean, it’s not a date! Ben! It’s not a –”
Ben had already hung up.
– X –
When Eddie arrived at the warm, hazily lit coffee shop, Richie was already there, sat on one of the plush, squishy sofas in the corner with two steaming mugs sat in front of him on the table.
“Hey, Rich. What do I owe you?” Eddie said, sitting down next to Richie.
“Naw, I got you, Eds. It’s my pleasure to keep you in your disgustingly sweet coffee-but-not-really drinks,” Richie said, batting his eyelashes at Eddie.
Although it had no reason to be, the atmosphere was charged. They were sat close together, knees knocking every time one of them shifted, but this was no unusual thing. They often sat close together, if not on top of each other, Richie’s legs sprawled across Eddie’s lap, or Eddie perched on the end of Richie’s knees when they were in Bill’s beaten up old truck. No, the unusual thing about this particular coffee date, was the fact that as soon as Eddie sat down, Richie grabbed his hand.
“So,” Richie started, “the new volume of Ben’s journal comes out tomorrow”
“Does it?”
“Yup. Have you been keeping up with it?”
“Sort of, not really, I don’t know. Have you seen the new adaptation they’re doing of that Stephen King book? It looks pretty good, Bill said’ he’d go see it with me, I know that –”
“Ah, yeah yeah, I’ve seen the advert. It looks … fine. Why’re you going with Big Bill, though?”
Eddie blinked.
“Because … he likes films like that?”
“So do I,” Richie huffed, knitting his eyebrows in a way that should look petulant but instead just looks endearing.
“Oh.”
“Yeah, Oh”
“Do you, I mean – you don’t have to, but would you like –”
“Eddie Spaghetti, it would be an honour to escort you to the movies to get our scream on”
“Our scream on?” Eddie said faintly, and Richie laughed.
“Y’know, like, screaming at horror movies. Get your mind out of the gutter, you dirty bird”
Well before Eddie was ready to let Richie go, the clock struck four in the afternoon, and Richie had to leave to pick up his shift at the local video store.
“I’ll ring you about arranging our movie date, Eds,” Richie said, wriggling into his jacket and smoothing his hair down.
Eddie laughed. “Yeah, yeah, our date”
“Um. Yeah? Like, holding hands in the dark, I’ll buy the popcorn if you buy the tickets, type thing?”
“Oh, like, a real real date?”
“I mean – I thought that much was obvious, Eds”
“Uh – I guess it is now. I’ll ring you, or you ring me – you ring me, yeah, I’ll wait for your call, or I’ll – yeah. Date”
“You’re ridiculous, Spaghetti head”
And with that, Richie was planting a kiss on the top of Eddie’s head, before bustling out of the coffee shop and disappearing out of view.
On the table, lay a book. It was face down, and Eddie grabbed it, standing up with the intention of chasing after Richie, who had forgotten it, but he thought better of it. He’d give it back to Richie in their next Poetry and Experiment seminar, or on their … date. Whichever came first.
Eddie sat back down, and turned the book around to look at the cover.
                     De Profundis and Other Writings
                      Oscar Wilde
                      Penguin Classics
Huh.
There were several small pieces of paper sticking out of the book, and Eddie could see that the pieces were littered with the familiar scribbled scrawl of Richie’s writing. With curiosity getting the better of him, Eddie gently tugged a few of the pieces of paper out of the book.
The first piece had a few lines from a Keats poem scribbled on it,
Sweet, sweet is the greeting of eyes,
And sweet is the voice in its greeting,
When adieus have grown old and goodbyes
Fade away where old Time is retreating.  
The second had a stanza of a poem Eddie didn’t recognise written on it, but the last, the last one he did recognise. It was only a line, but it was a line he’d stared at for hours, trying to come up with a response, wracking his brain, willing his fingers.
the winds grow tired of your howling, the void will spit you out
Without even thinking, Eddie could name the poem, and the author.
De Profundis.
Could it … ?
The bell above the door of the coffee shop rang out, and Eddie’s head snapped up. Richie was walking back over to him, hair and coat damp with late winter rain. Eddie shoved the pieces of paper back into the book with trembling fingers.
“Sorry, Eds, forgot my,” Richie gestured at the book sat bereft on the table, before picking it up and tucking it into his messenger bag.
Eddie nodded wordlessly.
“Okay well, I really gotta run, so I’ll see you – later?”
Eddie nodded again, face contorted into a grimace that, try as he might, wouldn’t be chased off of his face. Richie left without another word, but shot glances at Eddie over his shoulder until he disappeared from view once more.
– X –
“You’re … early,” Bev said, swirling the straw around in her Bloody Mary.
“I know”
“Is Richie not with you?”
“Nope”
“Where is he?”
“How the fuck am I supposed to know?” Eddie snapped, regretting it immediately when Bev’s eyebrows shot up. “Sorry, I just – stressed. I have a lot of homework due”
“Hmmm,” Bev hummed, unconvinced, but her train of thought was interrupted by Richie’s arrival.
“Good afternoon, fellow human people!” He said, slotting into the booth next to Eddie.
“Hullo, Rich” Mike said, ignoring Richie’s request for a fist bump in favour of continuing to absently scritch a hand through Stan’s hair.
“Lame,” Richie shot back, before turning to Eddie. “I’ve looked at the showing times for the movie, can you do Friday?”
“Uh, no. I’ve got – homework”
“Sunday?”
“Homework”
“Next Tuesday?”
“Uh, homework,” Eddie supplied feebly, shrugging his shoulders.
“Oh, uh – okay. Maybe you could pick the date then? Let me know when you’re free?” Richie said, the timidity of his voice tugging at Eddie’s heart.
“Yeah, yeah – I’ll ring you”
The conversation ebbed and flowed for several hours, before Richie, drunk as a skunk, began to tap on his glass with a spoon covered in whipped cream.
“Attention! Ladies and germs, can I have your attention”
“Jesus Christ,” Stan said, rolling his eyes. “About to announce that you’re pregnant with Eddie’s child, finally?”
“What? Ew, gross. Not everyone shares your fondness for MPREG fanfiction, Stanley,” Richie said, earning a fork to the head for his trouble. “No, I have another announcement to make. I, Richard “Big Dick” Tozier, am a published poet”
Eddie’s stomach dropped to the floor.
“Yes, it’s true,” Richie continued, “I have been sending in work to Benny-boy’s little journal and he’s been publishing it! Fancy that, you all being in the presence of a celebrity”
“Hey, Rich! That’s pretty cool!” Mike said, reaching over the table to shake Richie’s hand.
“I thought you told me not to tell anyone?” Ben asked.
“Yeah, I didn’t want you telling anyone, but this is me telling everyone, so that’s different,” Richie said, sitting back down and he leant his head against Eddie’s shoulder.
“Are you proud of me, Eds?”
“Yes, very proud,” Eddie deadpanned, wringing his hands in his lap.
“I have a rival, you know. I’m Byron, and ‘Mr Bleaney,” Richie mocked, “‘Mr Bleaney’ is Polidori”
“Oh really?” Eddie said, trying to keep his voice as calm and even.
“Yup! He started it, taking the piss out of my pseudonym, when his is just as stupid. You said so yourself! That stupid Larkin poem. I know you like it, Eds, but I don’t. Too bleak. And his poetry,” Richie mock-retched, “God is it depressing. Not a single hopeful theme, would it kill the guy to use a happy metaphor for once? Even your poetry is less dull”
“My poetry?”
“Yup! You’re a much better writer than Mr Bleaney”
“Good to know,” Eddie replied sharply, but Richie was already distracted, talking to Ben about his latest submission.
After brunch, Eddie disappeared before Richie could stop him.
– X –
The first time Eddie realised he liked Richie in a more-than-friends sort of way, they’d been sitting in the back of Bill’s rusty old truck, on their way to the drive-in. It was the night before Halloween, and their local drive-in was showing back to back classic Zombie films into the early hours of the morning. Bill had bribed all of the Loser’s to go with him, with the promise of all-they-could eat popcorn, a promise Richie took as a challenge. They had been sat together in the truck bed, three blankets wrapped around their shoulders, huddled together for warmth. Richie had hooked an arm around Eddie’s shoulder and pulled him in, so that Eddie’s head was nestled neatly in the crook of Richie’s neck.
“I’ll keep you warm, Eds, don’t you worry. I won’t let you turn into an eds-icle”
“You’re jokes are so fuckin’ lame, Rich”
“You love them,” Richie had said confidently, eyes sparkling in the late October moonlight, and Eddie was sucker punched by the realisation that it wasn’t just Richie’s jokes that he loved.
– X –
Nearly a month later, someone knocked at Eddie’s door, a knock that was shortly followed by a muffled voice.
“Eddie?”
A pause.
“Eddie? I know you’re in there”
Another pause. Eddie held his breath.
“Eds, please”
Breath escaped Eddie’s lips without permission.
“Rich?” he called out from the safety of his blanket nest, voice hoarse from lack of use.
“Eddie”
Another pause.
Richie sighed audibly from behind the door. “Eddie, I can’t sleep.”
“Have you tried counting sheep?” Eddie said, and he shifted from the confines of his bed,  padded across the room with silent steps, and stood with his arm extended, palm flat against the wood of the door.
“I’m sorry,” Richie said, and Eddie pulled his hand back from the door, as if he’d been burnt.
“What?”
“I said I’m – I’m sorry”
“What for?”
“I’m not entirely sure, but I’m sure I did something that made you pull away from me like this, and whatever it was, I’m sorry”
The large, angry lump in Eddie’s throat refused to be swallowed.
“Richie, Rich, you haven’t – you haven’t done anything”
“Then why won’t you let me in?” Richie pleaded, voice cracking, and that was enough, enough of a catalyst to tug on Eddie’s poor, weary heart.
Eddie wrenched the door open, and Richie all but fell onto his chest.
“Rich, I’m the one who should be saying sorry, I’ve been an asshole”
“No you haven’t”
“Yes I have!”
“Well … maybe a tiny bit of an asshole. I just – I don’t get it”
Eddie shrugged, arms still wrapped loosely around Richie’s shoulders. “There isn’t really much to get, I’m just an asshole who doesn’t deserve friends like you, I guess”
Richie looked up, eyes shiny. “Friends?”
“Uh –” Eddie stammered, “I don’t know, Rich. You mess with my head, you know”
“You mess with mine too,” Richie said, and then they said nothing more, just stood in the middle of Eddie’s shitty little dorm room, and embraced.
When Eddie woke in the morning, Richie was gone. What lay in his place, next to Eddie’s head on the pillow, was a note.
          I’ll wait for you at Coffee Hoppers after class
          My bounty is as boundless as the sea,
          My love as deep; the more I give to thee,
          The move I have, for both are infinite.
          R x
As the piece of paper fluttered to the floor, Eddie knew what it was that he must do.
– X –
I Loved You First by Mr Bleaney (21st August 2003)
         I loved you first: but afterwards your love
Outsoaring mine, sang such a loftier song
As drowned the friendly cooings of my dove.
Which owes the other most? My love was long,
And yours one moment seemed to wax more strong;
I loved and guessed at you, you construed me
And loved me for what might or might not be –
Nay, weights and measures do us both a wrong.
          For verily love knows not ‘mine’ or ‘thine’;
With separate ‘I’ and ‘thou’ free love has done,
For one is both and both are one in love:
Rich love knows nought of ‘thine that is not mine;’
Both have the strength and both the length thereof,
Both of us, of the love which makes us one.
By Mr Bleaney / Eds.
– X –
Hammering on the door.
“EDDIE!”          
Silence.
“EDDIE! Seriously, open the fucking door!”
More hammering.
“Eddie! –”
The door opened and two bodies collide.
“How long have you –”
“I didn’t know how to tell you –”
“You write so beautifully –”
“I love you –”
“I love you –”
“Rich?”
“Yeah?”
“Shut up”
With a renewed boldness, Eddie leant in and pressed his lips to Richie’s, and, for the first time, they wrote poetry together.
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Thoughts While Watching SK Homecoming
I was literally smiling and laughing like an idiot while watching these wonderful amazing people and thinking of all of the memories from years of enjoying their musicals. I am so glad I bought the digital download because they deserve all of the love and support. Just a word of warning I will be spoiling what happens throughout the show so if you haven’t seen it yet and/or you don’t want to have anything spoiled for you, I would not proceed any further. You have been warned. Also, as the show is over two hours long, buckle in cause this is gonna be a doozy and I have a lot of feeling about this wonderful show.
Disclaimer: these are just my own personal thoughts and opinions as a long time fan of Starkid, please don’t come at me.
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1. Darren is so cute with how he encourages and interacts with the crowd, you can tell how much he loves Starkid and loves the fans
2. we stan a founding knucklehead of Starkid
3. I am so proud of the musical daddies as they conduct a literal orchestra!! how far they have come!!! also, hearing all of the songs with the orchestra is such a treat.
4. I am living for Jeff Blims outfit! the eyeliner, the necklace, the vest!! honestly, iconic.
5. It is so funny to me that they had to edit out fuck from their songs, i.e. “i mean what the what”; “tiger lover”; “he porked a tiger”.
6. Did they change the octave that they were singing, because Jeff seems to be struggling?
7. I love how Jon Matteson looks the same as he did TGWDLM, he is Paul.
8. I don’t know why but the TGWDLM medley is increasing my appreciation for Jeff, previously who wasn’t really on my radar in terms of my favorite starkids, but I love his little dance moves and funny things he does
9. Robert Manion fucking performs the hell out of show stopping number and I am here for it every single time. I feel like he can’t help it and you can tell he’s into it because he can’t help but make the Hidgins face and wiggle his hips. Also, THE BODY ROLLS I AM LIVING FOR THEM !!! (@9:10)
10. Both Mariah and Jon are confirmed working boys and I love them for it. I love that Corey brought Mariah in at the end to make sure she was included.
11. Okay but Lauren Lopez knows how to perform like she knows how to work and engage a live audience. I so enjoy watching performances like this where there isn’t a wall between performer and audience because I think that that’s when she shines. I also feel like the same applies to Rob, Joey, and Darren, they are just so fun to watch.
12. How are all of these people so attractive!! I especially love Lauren’s outfit, but that’s probably just cause I love her so much.
13. I don’t know why but Brian’s “I still don't know!!” at 12:08 gets me every time.
14. Joey’s look behind him for his shadow at 12:24 while he bops kills me.
15. The orchestral swell at 13:05 with “this is the dawn” is so beautiful.
16. Lauren's arms are unbelievable, but we already knew that
17. 14:43 where Joey and Lauren walk and then turn back is so funny to me.
18. The second naked in a lake kicked in at 17:05, I got so hype. also, love that Corey took off his jacket during the song.
19. All the different faces and actions during the “fasters” at 19:54 are so good.
20. I never realized how tall and gangly Clark was until the Ani section, the boy's limbs are too long for his own good and I love it. His voice is so beautiful though!!
21. Joe calling Twisted the first-ever live-action Disney remake is iconic and no one can tell me otherwise.
22. I was legitimately afraid for the buttons on Joe’s shirt at 27:43.
23. Britney Coleman and Carlos Valdez singing 1001 Nights was a wonderful surprise and literally so beautiful, also their exit as Dylan started singing was so cute.
24. I’m kind of sad that they didn’t actually sing Twisted in the medley cause that was one of my favorite songs, but I understand that they had time constraints.
25. After 32:38, I feel like I need to watch the Lego Batman movie to see how similar it is to HMB.
26. Semi-disappointed that they didn’t do the usual choreography for the “I want to be your friend forever” part, but I respect that the handheld mics restricted them.
27. The bass or guitar or whatever in the background at 36:30 was so groovy, I was a fan of that.
28. Tbh, I didn’t really get Denise’s whole bit about how Starship is a show only for dreamers, it just felt a little off to me.
29. I’m a little bummed that Joey didn’t sing Status Quo, but I like that they gave it to Mariah and Alex who both have lovely voices. I appreciate that they had a moment to shine when they might not have because they are newer members/ only had a small role.
30. Brian and Jaime’s eye contact with the camera at 40:48 is so powerful and I’m here for it.
31. Joey mouthing the lyrics at 41:21 is so funny and I love it.
32. AJ’s little jump in the background at 43:02 is so cute.
33. Their constant need to have to avoid saying dick throughout the whole MAMD section is so good and hilarious, with so many expertly timed entrances from AJ Holmes and Joe Walker.
34. Joey saying no to the different microphones at 44:00 is absolutely artistic and fucking hysterical. It gave me similar vibes to Bo Burnham’s bit about seeing the most beautiful penis at a urinal.
35. 45:40, AJ Holmes is a delight of a man, need I say more.
36. “Do I smell?” “Pretty bad.” 45:07
37. Seeing Meredith and Brian standing next to each other at 48:49 makes my heart so happy cause this is what brought them together and now they are married and it’s amazing.
38. “We’ve written on all of the Starkid shows” 50:46, what a powerful statement.
39. I had no clue that the Starkid movie (1997) was a thing and I love that Nick just straight-up roasted it.
40. The subtitles at 52:56, dramatical instrumental music. I am here for it, I love this revamped version
41. Darren is so extra singing Goin back to Hogwarts and I am here for it. Our boy has grown so much! 
42. Pulling out the glasses at 54:03 is a power move.
43. I’m not sure about how I feel about people singing along to the songs during this. I know it is supposed to be for the fans but don’t people want to just sit back and listen to how amazing these people are and just enjoy. Maybe that’s just cause I only am viewing it through a computer and if I had been there I might have felt different, but who knows.
44. 56:05, AAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!! It’s Bonnie!!! She looks amazing and I’m so happy that she’s here!!!
45. Joey trying to the clap in the ear with mic at 58:04.
46. 58:16, I love how Darren always hypes up the crowd for Lauren’s entrances as Draco, he’s done this a number of times and it makes my heart so happy how he supports his friends.
47. I love Lauren so much the way she moves across the stage at 58:57, the power stance at 59:05...absolutely incredible.
48. I love seeing Rob in the chorus cause he was a fan, he loves AVPM just as much as we do and now we get to see him up there performing one of the most iconic songs. It honestly just makes my heart so happy.
49. 1:00:12, Dylan emerging from the audience is honestly so funny to me and I love him for it. Also, I love the ongoing trope of the “welcome” getting progressively longer each time they perform the song. Bless Dylan’s lungs and abilities to sustain that note.
50. 1:03:45 Jim little butt taps are so good.
51. The saxophone at 1:04:19 is so enjoyable.
52. I like how the slowed things down for Home at 1:06:10 with Darren sitting on the stage just having a personal moment with the audience, it was really nice.
53. Darren’s hops at 1:08:45 are so adorable and I love them.
54. I know that AVPM songs are iconic and everyone loves them, but I would have liked to see them so some more songs from AVPS and AVPSY, especially since they had some time rehearse them and there would be no mic issues.
55. Yay for a Bonnie and Meredith duet, both women are wonderful and have done an amazing job as Hermione and I love them both.
56. “Art imitates life a little bit on that one”, it’s okay we love you Darren with your silly guitar.
57. I didn’t think watching this would be educational, but I now know what a litmus test is and what slant rhymes (aka really pushing it rhymes) are thanks to Darren and google, so there’s that.
58. This may be a bit controversial but I feel as though this was one of the weaker performances of Granger Danger, usually Joey and Lauren have fun with it and I love it when they do, but this time they seemed to be more going through the motions. There were good moments (i.e. Joey’s hips, Lauren sliding down the mic stand, the back and forth head turns) but overall it was just kind of eh.
59. Darren’s twirl at 1:28:36 is delightful.
60. I firmly believe that AJ has permanently memorized the fantasy monologue and I refuse to let anyone tell me otherwise, 1:31:10. Also, I’m curious if it was planned because someone in the audience calls out for it, but that might have been a plant so who knows.
61. I just realized at 1:32:20, where he’s talking about mouse wives and concubines that would be bestiality. He only shrunk his size down, he would still technically be a human...
62. Tyler Brunsman singing Guys like Potter is now kind of funny considering AVPSY and Cedric ending up with Lily in the afterlife.
63. Joe Moses face at 1:38:57 is classic Snape and I am here for it.
64. Another yay for Sidekick, this is one of my fav AVPSY songs and Joey kills it every time.
65. 1:43:19, goddamn that man can hit a high note.
66. I love the addition of Rob to Everything Ends, what a pretty song and Rob’s voice works wonderfully with it.
67. 1:44:58, Rob struggling with the mic is hilarious.
68. Classic Snape speech at 1:46:30, simply inspiring.
69. I love Jaime and we all know her voice is incredible, but something seemed off during Not Alone and at times it sounded like she was struggling.
70. 1:51:56, I don’t know if I just don’t know much about music but Joey’s make was a little off, but on another note, I think it would have been really sweet if they had let Lauren sing too so that Draco could finally add to that harmony.
71. That sick piano rift at 1:54:33, hell yeah!
72. Even though they always use Days of Summer as the closing song, I love it every time, it’s just so fun and gets me so emotional.
73. That key change at 1:56:50 tho.
74. Yay for enthusiastic but sometimes questionable fanart ;)
75. Brian and Joe recreating the ending scene of AVPM is absolutely beautiful and I am here for it.
76. The matching jackets at the end speaks to the fact that Starkid at its essence is just a bunch of friends who were theatre nerds and wanted to create something fun together and I think that's wonderful.
In conclusion: Props to whoever made it to the end of this ridiculously long post summarizing the different thoughts I had while watching Homecoming. I truly think it was something for the fans and I love them for it. I am so proud of Starkid and all they have accomplished since 2009.
I want to encourage others to continue to support Starkid in the future, maybe even by purchasing Homecoming for themselves, I would definitely recommend giving it a watch. Also, feel free to respond and let me know your own thoughts on Homecoming, I’m sure there’s lots I missed and I would love to hear what others thoughts. 
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weekendwarriorblog · 5 years
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WHAT TO WATCH THIS WEEKEND May 17, 2019  - JOHN WICK CHAPTER 3, A DOG’S JOURNEY, THE SUN IS ALSO A STAR
Well, the summer is grinding along at a rather slow pace. Granted, it’s only the third or fourth official weekend, depending on when you started counting, and if you live in New York City, it doesn’t really feel like summer at all, but as has been the case since starting my beat at The Beat, I hope people will be reading this for the limited releases and repertory stuff, which I try to make fairly comprehensive and complete.
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Normally, I wouldn’t be too impressed with Lionsgate’s decision to release Keanu Reeves’ JOHN WICK CHAPTER 3 - PARABELLUM in the summer, but surprise, surprise, I actually liked this one. A LOT! I already reviewed the movie for The Beat, a review which you can read here, but I do think that most of the people who liked the first movie will like this one, too, as it adds the likes of Halle Berry, Asia Kate Dillon  (Orange is the New Black) and Mark Dacascos to flesh out the mythology while sending John Wick on the run as he’s excommunicated from the assassin’s guild.
I don’t have as much an opinion about the doggie sequel A DOG’S JOURNEY (Universal). I mean, I like dogs just fine, but I never got around to seeing A Dog’s Purpose, and I’m not sure I can follow this movie’s high-concept premise without having seen it. Apparently, a dog dies and then keeps coming back as another dog in order to protect Dennis Quaid’s daughter… no, I don’t get how that works either, but I’ll probably never see this.
The other movie I’ve seen which opens Friday is Ry Russo-Young’s THE SUN IS ALSO A STAR (Warner Bros./MGM), based on the novel by Nicola Yoon, starring Yara Shahidi (black-ish,grown-ish) and Charles Melton from Riverdale. If you know me at all, then you can probably guess that I’ve never seen those shows, but I have seen Russo-Young’s other films, and she’s a director that’s definitely grown on me as she’s taken on YA adaptations. I’m not going to write a full review of this one (due to time constraints and illness) but I was generally mixed on it. I thought the two young actors were fantastic, and this was a perfectly nice romantic film that generally used its New York locations well, but there were definitely parts where I was just bored and not that into the story. It’s a shame, because I usually buy into the whole fate and destiny thing, especially when it come to romance, but this one just gets silly at times.
You can find out what I think of the above film’s box office prospects over at The Beat.
LIMITED RELEASES
This is a very busy week for limited releases with a lot of things coming out of the woodwork at the last minute… and honestly, most of what I’ve seen is just okay, at best.
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Jack O’Connell plays Cameron Todd Willingham in Ed Zwick’s TRIAL BY FIRE (Roadside Attractions), based on the true story of the Texas man accused of murdering his three young daughters via arson in 1991. He spent 12 years on Death Row before his case found its way to writer Elizabeth Gilbert, played by Laura Dern, who tries to negate the evidence against Willingham. I wanted to like this movie more than I did, because it is an interesting story with a decent script written by Oscar winner Geoffrey Fletcher (Precious), based on an article by New Yorker writer David Grann (apparently all of his articles become movies, so he has a good agent, huh?). The movie is generally okay, mainly due to the fantastic rounded performance by O’Connell but it’s also quite long-winded and didn’t need to be over two hours to get its point across.
Joanna Hogg’s autobiographical British indie THE SOUVENIR (A24) stars Honor Swinton Byrne (yes, that’s Tilda’s daughter) as film school student Julie who encounters and gets involved with a gregarious and opinionated older man named named Anthony (Tom Burke) who turns out to be a heroin junkie who effectively sabotages the film she’s trying to get made. While I can generally understand what Hogg was trying to do with this movie, I found it very long and drawn-out, and I was even more shocked to learn that this was meant to be the first of a two-part movie, but no, I won’t bother with Part 2 even if it does star Robert Pattinson, probably as another dick who tries to derail Julie’s career, cause that’s what men do.
The Lunchbox director Ritesh Batra returns to India for the romantic drama PHOTOGRAPH (Amazon) about Rafi (Nawazuddin Siddiqui), a man from a poor village who takes a picture of student named Miloni (Sanya Malhotra) and sends it to his grandma, saying it’s his new girlfriend, so she’ll get off his back about marrying. Rafi sends his grandma a picture of Miloni, but then has to convince Miloni to play along and meet his grandmother when she comes to Mumbai. As the two spend more time getting to know each other, a romance begins. It’s a nice movie, maybe not quite as great as The Lunchbox, but a nice date night movie for sure.
Opening at the Metrograph, which is in the midst of a Ryusuke Hamaguchi retrospective, is the Japanese filmmaker’s most recent film ASAKO I AND II (Grasshopper Films), based on the novel by Tomoka Shibasaki. It begins with a romance between a shy girl from (Asako, played by Erika Karata) who falls for a young man named Baku (Masahiro Higashide), who suddenly vanishes on her. She ends up moving to Tokyo and meeting another man named Ryohei, who is Baku’s spitting image – maybe because he’s also played by Higashide. A relationship develops between them until Asako learns what happened to Baku. This is definitely a strange but mostly satisfying romance story that would be a great date night double feature of Photograph.
From Sweden comes Pella Kagerman and Hugo Lilja’s sci-fi thriller ANIARA (Magnet Releasing), which takes place on the title spaceship which is taking the three-week journey to Mars full of thousands of passengers when it’s knocked off course. The problem is that it might take years to get back on course, which immediately throws everyone on board into a panic. At the center of it is Emelie Jonsson’s woman who runs a “Mima chamber” where people can go to relax, a chamber that gets increasingly more busy until it breaks down and then things just get completely crazy.  If you wondered what Passengersmight have been like if Gaspar Noe directed it then Aniarais the movie for you, but I did like Jonsson’s character arc as she ends up starting a relationship with a woman officer on the ship and where that story goes.
Karen Gillan stars in Collin Schiffli’s ALL CREATURES HERE BELOW (Samuel Goldwyn), which is written by and co-stars David Dastmalchian from Ant-Manand other films. It deals with a couple living in poverty, forcing him to break the law, as they set off to find refuge in Kansas City. I haven’t seen it but it sounds interesting with that casting.
Shirley Jackson’s 1962 mystery novel WE HAVE ALWAYS LIVED IN THE CASTLE (Brainstorm Media)is adapted by filmmaker Stacie Passon with an all-star cast including Taissa Farmiga, Alexandra Daddario, Sebastian Stan and Crispin Glover. Farmiga plays Merricat who lives with her sister Constance (Daddario) and uncle (Glover), the only survivors of a poisonic that killed the rest of their family five years earlier. When their cousin Charles (Stan) arrives, asking about the family’s finances, it begins a battle for control as tragedy looms.
Now playingat the Film Forum is The Third Wife (Film Movement), Ash Mayfair’s Vietnamese drama set in the 19th Century about a 14-year-old named May, who becomes the third wife of a much older man. With a mostly female cast and crew, the film has drawn comparisons to Zhang Yimou’s Raise the Red Lantern and some of the flashbacks in The Joy Luck Club (which I recently rewatched and cried my eyes out, but don’t tell anyone).
Then opening Friday at the Film Forum is Andrey Paunov’s documentary Walking on Water (Kino Lorber), about artist Christo and his late wife Jeanne-Claude, who had built some of the most amazing large-scale installations including the famous “The Gates” in Central Park and their most recent project “The Floating Piers” over Lake Iseo in Italy. The movie will open in L.A. and San Fran next Friday, May 24.
Johnny Depp stars in Wayne Roberts’ The Professor (Saban Films), a movie that seems to be getting dumped into theaters after a DirecTV release. Depp plays Richard, a college lecturer who discovers he has six months to live so he turns into a party animal, much to the shock of his wife (Rosemarie DeWitt) and chancellor (Ron Livingston). Also costarring Zoey Deutch, it opens in select cities.
Kevin and Michael Goetz’s A Violent Separation (Screen Media) stars Brenton Thwaites as Norman Young, deputy of a midwstern town who is forced to arrest his older brother Ray (Ben Robson) for murder. Things get more difficult when Norman gets involved with the victim’s younger sister (Alycia Debnam-Carey). It opens at New York’s Cinema Village and a few other theaters as well as On Demand.
Now playing at the Roxy Cinema in New York is Matt Hinton’s doc Parallel Love: The Story of a Band Called Luxury (Abramorama) about the small-town band Luxury, whose career almost ended in a wreck, but who continue to make records even as three members become priests.
Another music-related doc out this week is the Cordero Brothers thriller Room 37 - The Mysterious Death of Johnny Thunders (Cleopatra Entertainment), which as you might guess from the title is about famed rocker Johnny Thunders (Leo Ramsay) and how his trip to New Orleans to get his life together turned deadly.
This week’s Bollywood offering is Aki Ali’s De De Pyaar De, starring Ajay Devgn, Tabu and Rakul Preet Singh in a London-based love triangle.
Opening in New York this Friday, then in L.A. May 24 and VOD June 21 is Eddie Alcazar’s Perfect  (Breaker Films), exec. produced by Steven Soderbergh, which stars Garrett Wareing as a troubled young man sent to a clinic by his mother (Abbie Cornish) to help with his dark visions.
Next up is Rachel Carey’s Ask for Jane  (Level Film) starring Cait Cortelyou in a timely movie set in Chicago 1969 where abortion is punishable by prison and two women try to find a doctor to help a pregnant student at the University of Chicago has tried to kill herself. The two women end up forming the Jane Collective, an organization that helps women get safe abortions.
Asa Butterfield, Finn Cole, Hermione Corfield, Michael Sheen, Margot Robbie, Nick Frost and Simon Pegg star in Crispian Mills’ horror-comedy Slaughterhouse Rulez set in a British boarding school where monsters have been unleashed from a sinkhole. The movie was a hit in England but is barely getting a release in the States even with that amazing cast.
STREAMING AND CABLE
Not much of note on Netflix except Kate Melville’s rom-com Good Sam, a movie about a reporter who is trying to find a stranger who is leaving bags of money all around New York City.
I probably haven’t been paying enough attention to the streaming service MUBU, but in honor of the Cannes Film Festival that started this week, the service is doing a “Cannes Takeover” which includes Gus Van Sant’s Paranoid Park, Crisi Piu’s The Death of Mr. Lazarescu, Alejandro Innaritu’s Amores Perrosand other films that broke out of the French film festival.
REPERTORY
METROGRAPH (NYC):
Sci-fi author Samuel R. Delaney will be at the Metrograph for Delaneymania, a collection of films selected by him including This Island Earth (1955), Ingmar Bergman’s The Seventh Seal  (1957), Jean Cocteau’s Orpheus  (1950), as well as Orson Welles’ Touch of Evil: Director’s Cut  (1958). The series will also include Fred Barney Taylor’s doc about Delany called The Polymath and more. Playtime: Family Matinees is also getting involved into Delanwymania with screenings of The Boy with the Green Hair (1948) on Saturday and Sunday morning. Also this weekend is the firstMetrograph Book Fair of the year with lots of rare and vintage books and magazines on sale.This week’s Late Nites at Metrographincludes screenings of Michael Mann’s Thief  (1981) and more screenings of Gasar Noé’sClimax, which seems to be Metrograph’s new go-to movie. (Sorry, Carol!)
THE NEW BEVERLY (L.A.):
Weds and Thursday seems double features of Elaine May’s Mikey & Nicky  (1976), starring Peter Falk and John Cassavetes, and Between the Lines (1977), while Friday and Saturday’s double feature is Martha Coolidge’s 1983 film Valley Girl (with Coolidge and special guests on Saturday!) and Sofia Coppola’s 1999 debut The Virgin Suicides.  The Sunday/Monday double feature is two from Dorothy Arzner, Merrily We Go To Hell (1932) and First Comes Courage(1943).Friday’s midnight is Tarantino and Rodriguez’s 2007 anthology Grindhouse, while Saturday at midnight, you have another chance to watch The Love Witch from 2016.  The weekend’s KIDDEE MATINEE is Agnieszka Holland’s 1993 film The Secret Garden  (which is being remade next year). On Monday afternoon, there’s a screening of Josie and the Pussycats… no, I’m not sure why either.
FILM FORUM (NYC):
Sadly, the Trilogies series ends Thursday, but the Film Forum will screen a 4k restoration of Alain Resnais’ Last Year at Marienbad (1961), and this weekend’s Film Forum Jr.offering is Tim Burton’s Edward Scissorhands  (1990), starring Johnny Depp. Dan Streible is back with his eclectic of shorts called More Orphans of New York.
EGYPTIAN THEATRE (LA):
On Friday, you can catch a “New York Sleaze Triple Feature” (yes, in L.A.) with Fulci’s The New York Ripper (1982),Nightmares in a Damaged Brain  (1981) and Abel Ferrar’s The Driller Killer  (1979). The Cassavetes & Scorsese: Love is Strangeseries continues on Saturday with Goodfellas and Husbands, plus the 1965 film The 10th Victim is showing as part of the Art Directors Guild Film Society Series on Sunday. Also on Sunday, Spanish filmmaker Ivan Zulueta (who died ten years ago) gets a tribute with a screening of 1979’s Arrebato.
AERO  (LA):
This week, the Aero begins the Passion of Pier Paolo Pasolini series (probably in conjunction with Abel Ferrara’s film, which finally gets a theatrical release) with a series of double features: Solo, or the 120 Days of Sodom (1975) and Pigsty (1969) on Thursday, The Decameron  (1970) and Oedipus Rex (1967) on Friday, The Canterbury Tales (1971) and Teorema (1968) on Saturday, and Arabian Nights (1974)and Medea (1969) on Sunday. On Monday, they’ll screen a rare 35mm print of Pasonlini’s The Gospel According to St. Matthew(1964). Since I really enjoyed Ferrara’s new film starring Willem Dafoe, I’m bummed I missed the Metrograph’s retrospective of Pasolini last year, but this is a good chance to see this prolific Italian filmmaker’s often-controversial work.
QUAD CINEMA (NYC):
Another great series begins at the Quad this weekend with Fighting Mad: German Genre Films from the Margins, based around Dominik Graf’s two-part documentary A Journey Through German Film. Graf programmed the series with Olaf Müller, who presents a few of the screenings. It’s a pretty rich series with no films that I personally have had a chance to see – I have a couple screeners to watch – but there are sure to be a few gems in there if you have time to see some of the 17 movies.
IFC CENTER (NYC)
Waverly Midnights: ParentalGuidance  will screen Roman Polanski’s horror classicRosemary’s Baby (1968) and James Cameron’s Aliens (again). Weekend Classics: Love Mom and Dad screens Pier Paolo Pasolini’s 1962 film Mamma Roma, while Late Night Favorites: Spring shows the Coens’ Fargo, David Fincher’s Fight Club and Pee Wee’s Big Adventure.
BAM CINEMATEK (NYC):
Black 90s: A Turning Point in American Cinema continues this weekend with Waiting to Exhale, The Five Heartbeats, Fear of a Black Hat, House Party, a 20thAnniversary screening of The Best Man and a lot more. It’s a really good series with a lot of movies worth checking out.
MOMA (NYC):
Abel Ferrara: Unrated continues with 1986’s Crime Story on Wednesday, 1993’s Dangerous Game on Thursday, Welcome to New York  (2014) on Sunday and Piazza Vittorio (2017) and 4:44 Last Day on Earth  (2011) on Sunday. The series will continue through May 31. MOMA is also doing a Jean-Claude Carriereseries, honoring the amazing prolific work of the French screenwriter, including Louis Malle’s Milou en Mai  (1964), Milos Forman’s Taking Off (1971) and many more, which will be screened between now and June 16.
ROXY CINEMA (NYC)
A new addition! The theater in the Roxy Hotel in Tribeca is showing Joanna Hogg’s earlier film Archipelego (2010), as well as Sally Potter’s 1992 film Orlando in 35mm!
MUSEUM OF THE MOVING IMAGE (NYC):
On Saturday, MOMI is doing a Filmmaker Memorial for John Singleton, put together by The Black Filmmaker Foundation and the Black Film Critics Circle with BFCC President Michael Sargent and other critics discussing Singleton’s work. Otherwise, MOMI is finishing up Panorama Europe.
LANDMARK THEATRES NUART  (LA):
This week’s midnight movie on Friday is the Japanese horror filmHouse (Hausu) from 1977.
That’s it for this week. Next week, we get Guy Ritchie’s Aladdin, starring Will Smith; Olivia Wilde’s hilarious Book Smart and the James Gunn-produced Brightburn. Oh, yeah, and it’s Memorial Day weekend!
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englishmansdcc · 7 years
Text
Amit Chauhan is the creator of YAKUZA DEMON KILLERS, a fantasy/horror comic book series from IDW Publishing. AEISD contributor Mark Searby spoke to Amit about his DEMONS VS THE YAKUZA miniseries.
MS: Did you always want to be a comic book writer?
AC: That’s a funny one. When I was a kid I wanted to write comics but I had a period at University where I… didn’t fall out of love with comics… just wasn’t collecting as much. So I went and did film school at University and I met Mark Brennan [TEA FOR TWO director], and I wanted to do film scripts. Living in England, I went to work at ITV [UK commercial TV network] and it didn’t click… something didn’t work.
I came over to the States and I was having lunch in a diner with a guy who did artwork for X-MEN, Jim Muniz, and we were chatting and I was telling him all these crazy film ideas and he said “You know, you should write comic books.” So, I did self publishing and all the type of stuff writers do to get off the ground, just to learn the craft a bit more. It took off from there.
Mark Searby: Where did the idea for Yakuza Demon Killers come from?
Amit Chauhan: It was something I had in my bag for a while. I was a big fan of Anime growing up and a lot of old horror films. So it was a mix of all my interests and that kind of B-Movie feel to it. Some ridiculous premise and these two rivalling factions with thieves stuck in the middle of this madness going on around them.
As time goes on, when you’re pitching something in comics, you pitching different ideas to publishers and the first idea I had was for a book called BUTCHER, which I Kickstarted and the publisher was interested but they ended up not wanted to go that route and they asked “Have you got any other ideas?” and I said “I’ve got this one called YAKUZA DEMON KILLERS.” And they said “Great title! That’s the one!” Usually it takes months for something to get green lit and they green lit very quickly, within a month or two. Then we were all go. It was kind of wild.
Yakuza Demon Killers #1, cover art (image: IDW Publishing)
MS: The first few pages feature a drugged-out woman going on a heist and then everything kicking off. Did you always want to start the comic off with a huge BANG! Moment?
AC: I wanted it to be a book where you can take all the fun – all the smash, bang horror aspects – but I also wanted there to be a story about the thief’s evolution. She starts out as this strung-out druggy and will she end the book like that? Can she end the book like that? What kind of implication does that have? How does that affect her mindset? I wanted there to be some seriousness in there as well as all the crazy stuff.
You start off with such an impactful image of her hallucinating in an alleyway and I wanted that to be as if you are directly in this girls world and you know what her perspective is on her surroundings and then you are following her around as she is almost being dragged through this madness. It is kind of having that sense of no control over anything. The first issue I wanted to give that subtext that she has no control over anything and slowly, as the book goes on, she is getting more and more control.
MS: Yakuza Demon Killers is four issues. Did you envisage four comics from the beginning? Or did you want more?
AC: I think if you ask any writer they always want a bit more [laughs]. The industry right now is really hard to keep people’s attentions, so it started off back in the 1970s and 80s comic books went on for fifty, sixty issues on massive long runs and slowly over time especially in the last decade or so with the introduction of the internet and apps and smart phones people’s attention spans are getting less and less. People can’t wait for a lot of issues to see your book.
Maybe THE WALKING DEAD is one of the few exceptions to that. But you need something that is quick and is out there. They have the full story within a year. It is hard but working with time constraints helps as well because you’re not faffing along [laughs].
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MS: The artwork is quite terrifying. What was it like working with Eli Powell and K. Michael Russell on the project?
AC: Eli Powell is one of the most talented people I’ve ever worked with. He is unbelievable. We kind of had this psychic connection almost. When I write something he will show it exactly how it is. It is amazing. K. Michael Russell is the colour artist on it. He can either do very vibrant colours, if you see issue one where she is hallucinating he brings out these beautiful oranges and these warms tones, but then in other scenes you’ll see a much cooler pallet. He has this beautiful mastery over his art form. Both guys have been wonderful to work with.
To work with that kind of talent on my first series is… you couldn’t ask for a better team. Along with Marshall Dillon, who is the letterer. The letterer is the guy who doesn’t get enough credit. He really draws the reader’s eye through the comic book and is showing the reader how to follow the story. He is a wonderful wonderful talent.
MS: Did ever reject any of their artwork?
AC: The only time that happens is if a scene is drawn and maybe there is a misunderstanding with something. With Eli he is so on point and the same with K. Michael but sometimes something is focussed on that shouldn’t be. That’s mainly because you have a script in front of you and this person has to read your script, which is twenty two pages, and they are trying to take what they can.
The best of us, when asked to read something for work, can miss something. There are times when I’ve asked them “what did you think to this? Is this unrealistic?” Unrealistic in the main sense because it is a fantasy. I think we all keep each other in check which is nice. It’s kind of an open forum, which is cool. That’s a good way to work.
MS: What has the reception been like for the comics?
AC: It’s so interesting. We’ve had such good feedback. With any art you put out there, and I’ve realised this, all you can hope is that people understand the story and then you are going to get back someone’s personal preference. Some people have been, “I really love this,” and some have been, “Meh, it’s OK.” I’ve been really pleased with the reception. We had someone send us fan art. That was amazing because I’ve never had fan art before of a character I created. To have someone send that to you… WOW! It’s cool. It’s been wonderful.
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MS: What are your thoughts on the state of the industry at present?
AC: It’s the most accessible but hardest to get into [laughs]. Anyone can write a comic right now, which is amazing. Anyone can have a kickstarter. It has enabled everyone to have a voice. But because so many people want to get in and most of them are making books which are harder to get to publishers. More people are creating books now but the budgets and slates haven’t changed. It is highly competitive, which is great.
I think original IP’s have really taken off in the past decade because all these creators of all these stories… I love Spider-Man and Superman, but when you are writing for these big companies you have an obligation to do right by their characters. With creating your own work you can do anything you want. Maybe it works or maybe it doesn’t but it is YOUR choice. So creators can take huge risks and if it goes wrong it is own their own back. You can’t do that at bigger companies. There is nothing wrong with that and you should always be respectful of big characters because people grew up on those characters. It’s a very exciting time in the industry. There are so many voices out there.
MS: How important is it for someone such as yourself, who are promoting their own creations, to attend comic-cons?
AC: I’m at a lot of conventions this year and it’s getting difficult because there are so many now that they all start to clash a bit. It’s outreach. So when people meet you it is that connection. You can like a book but when you meet the author or you have a good interaction it is going to make you follow that author more. I love talking to fans. A true nerd will let you know if they loved it or hated it, and I love that about the accessibility of the industry.
MS: Do you find it hard to keep your nerdiness in check when you see some of the big players from the industry at the same events as you?
AC: Oh, 100%! [laughs]. The odd occasion that I get introduced to someone… it’s not tears [laughs]… when you break into any industry your friends are going to be the people you broke in with. Those are the ones you hang out with. I’m not going to be sitting at dinner with Stan Lee [laughs], but just sitting at a table with the likes of John Romita Jr. and you’re all pros at a convention. It is really strange. There are so many times I have to keep it in check [laughs].
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MS: One last question on YAKUZA DEMON KILLERS. Have you received feedback from real life Yakuza’s?
AC: Thankfully, no! [laughs]. In YAKUZA DEMON KILLERS, nearly all the places depicted are real places. I took photos when I went to these places. I was in Japan for a month taking pictures and sending them to Eli. In the first issue they go through the Tokyo National Museum and I took a bunch of pictures and sent them to Eli. The sword case in the book isn’t a sword case [in the museum] but it does have a statue in it. If you walk the same way through that gallery you’ll come to that case. I try to make sure it is the way it is. That is important to me.
Interview: @Mark_Searby talks to Amit Chauhan (Creator: @IDWPublishing's YAKUZA DEMON KILLERS) Amit Chauhan is the creator of YAKUZA DEMON KILLERS, a fantasy/horror comic book series from IDW Publishing…
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