“Midnight Sun (Part II): The Dead Don’t Stay,” Moon Knight (Vol. 5/2006), #8.

Writer: Charlie Huston; Penciler: David Finch; Inkers: Danny Miki and Crimelab Studios; Colorist: Frank D’Armata; Letterer: Joe Caramagna

273. Sonic the Hedgehog #200

Turn About is Fair Play

Writer: Ian Flynn Pencils: Tracy Yardley! Colors: Matt Herms

Welcome to the two-hundredth issue of the Archie Sonic preboot! It's another big milestone issue, but unfortunately, compared to some of the others it's a little… light on content, if you will. Most of it consists of pages and pages of fighting, some of it with very little dialogue other than "Ugh!" and "Oof!" and "Argh!" It honestly reminds me in a way of those old, early-era issues that were mostly just Sonic and Knuckles beating the crap out of each other in various locales with a few pages before and after to explain why they'd decided to get into a tussle this time - only now, the big fight is between Sonic and, of course, Eggman.

Right off the bat, Eggman makes kind of a weird comment, claiming that Sonic has been a thorn in his side for "fifteen years and more." I say it's weird because no matter how you look at the timeline, it doesn’t really seem to match up. It can't be referring to Sonic's age, because Sonic is seventeen here, and he certainly didn't start fighting Eggman when he was two - the coup hadn't even happened at that point. And it can't be referring to how long the war has been going on for similar reasons. Sonic's been actively carrying on the fight against Eggman and his predecessor for about a decade now, assuming that he and the others formed the core Freedom Fighter group when he was around seven, but that still leaves several years unaccounted for. The only thing I can think of to make this comment make sense is that Eggman is specifically thinking about his previous war with the Sonic of his home zone. We know that his history was virtually identical to Sonic Prime's up until the events of Endgame, during which he roboticized himself to avoid losing outright. We can assume the fight went on a couple more years from there, and after his long stint in space as a computer program (anyone ever think about how weird Archie Sonic lore is) Eggman has been waging war anew against the Prime Zone's Freedom Fighters, and we can assume this has gone on for nearly two years at this point as well considering Sonic's year in space. I suppose, considering all that, that it could technically add up to fifteen years, but it's still a weird comment to make. Then again, we know that Eggman has been kind of losing it lately, and Sonic's careless and mocking attitude certainly doesn't help.

As their battle begins, Sonic smugly begins checking off the list of every way Eggman has failed to keep his empire in order - how "a group of kids with no real training" have continuously thwarted him in every way, how his failures always translate directly into wins for the heroes, and how even in the times he has won, such as at Knothole, it's been temporary at best, with the heroes coming out even stronger on the other side. Eggman sputters in a fury as Sonic continues to list off his failures, how he doesn't even control nearly as much of the world as he claims and that even in the places he does control the people hate him and want him gone, and how in the end, Sonic is confident he can beat him again just like always. What follows is what I mentioned before, just pages and pages of fighting as Sonic continues to trash the Egg Spider and Eggman grows more and more apoplectic and incoherent until he's reduced to screaming about how much he hates Sonic. After a good bit of bashing and spindashing, the Egg Spider is finally reduced to scrap, and Sonic, feeling quite pleased with the way their final battle has gone, strikes a nice victory pose.

And then… this happens.

Yikes. We knew that Eggman was slowly losing his grip on reality, but this is just downright disturbing. Sally tries to report to Sonic on the team's success and the Legion's retreat, but finds herself distracted by Eggman's gibbering tantrum, asking Sonic what the hell he did to him. Sonic is equally at a loss to explain what's going on, but Snively's voice interrupts the both of them, grimly informing them that this final defeat has completely broken his uncle's mind in half.

I'll admit, the first time I read this I did not see this coming despite the lead-up - it almost seemed like too much, like something of this caliber wouldn't make it into a comic for kids (well, more like teens at this point - I feel like the storylines have long since gone beyond being for young children). And yet in the end, I feel like that's exactly why Ian is so beloved as the head writer - he was willing to take things seriously, include real stakes for the characters and write in plot developments like this that would completely change the status quo. Eggman has been consistently losing his way through every Sonic game, comic, anime, and every other piece of media for decades now, and at some point, in some canon, it was liable to break him entirely. Just, no one ever expected it to be this dramatic.

Everyone else bursts into the room, and they begin to celebrate wildly as they realize the war is over, though Sonic stands amid the chaos with a look of blank disappointment on his face. Sally recovers fairly quickly and begins crying from happiness, using Nicole's handheld to broadcast the message of their victory to the entirety of New Mobotropolis, where the citizens are celebrating wildly in the streets. As they make their way back out of the Eggdome, Tails and Amy excitedly get Sonic to recount the battle to them, but he's less than enthusiastic, missing his usual dramatic flair. When questioned on his attitude, or lack thereof, he frowns and claims that he's merely tired after the fight, which they accept without question.

I'm not surprised Sonic doesn't feel right about all this. I'm sure he thought the finale to the big showdown was going to be, well, epic, with Eggman angrily sputtering about how he'll get him next time only to have his ego taken down a notch by Sally's end-of-the-war speech. It can't feel at all good to beat your enemy so hard that he literally goes insane, even if he is a genocidal maniac. After all, Sonic isn't cruel - he doesn't fight for the express purpose of torturing Eggman, he fights to protect the people and the world he loves. Causing such extreme mental anguish just isn't something he's interested in, and yet his actions have led to it anyway, causing some serious emotional conflict for him. But hey, he's Sonic, and in the end he's able to pick up and carry on, satisfied that in the long run he's done the right thing. And hey, it is the end of the war! Time to enjoy, for the second time, a new era of peace and prosperity with no more dire threats to the world and his family and friends' safety! Right? R…right?

Of course not! Where would we be if there was no more conflict in this comic?! I mean, granted, there was an entire era in the past dealing with precisely that - how child soldiers deal with trying to live an ordinary life after fighting an adults' war - but it'd be kinda weird to try to just rehash all that a second time over. Plus, Sonic has grown up since then - I feel like if the story truly did end here and there were no more villains to face, Sonic would ultimately be able to adjust and live a happy and fulfilling life without all the constant hero work to keep him busy. But as it is, there is another situation brewing - don't tell me you forgot about Snively's little online romance! After securing Eggman in a straightjacket and padded cell within the Eggdome, Snively makes his way to the landing pad on top of the Eggdome, ordering all the Legion's members to meet him up there. He's ready to introduce them all to their new leader, who will be taking over the running of the Eggman Empire now that its namesake is, ahem, indisposed. And this new ruler just so happens to be…

T-the Iron Queen? You mean that one-off character from waaayyy back in StH#60? Yeah, see, I did hint at this back in my review of that issue. I think I've mentioned it before, but Ian is very fond of bringing back old, forgotten characters and concepts from the earliest days of the comic and breathing new life into them, finding ways to weave them back into the story to become much more interesting than they had been before. The Iron Queen, here, is a technomancer, and quite power-hungry (and apparently has a thing for tiny gremlin men, despite being married to a gigantic Mobian bull). I will admit that she's not my favorite villain of the series, but she's not a bad one at all, and indeed it's her arrival that catapults us out of the sixth era and into the seventh, as we get ready to face down the menace of her Iron Dominion! Man, so much for peace. Sonic never does get a break, does he?

How Not to Land in Tartarus

The Percabeth way to ask that question.

Fic: "How Not to Land in Tartarus" [FFN] [AO3]

Pairings/Characters: Percy Jackson/Annabeth Chase

Rating: K

Words: ~930

Additional info: romance, angst, 3rd person POV

Summary: …and how not to do a few other life-changing things. Because Percy's always opened his mouth at the wrong times.

                They'd been falling for far too long, longer than humanly possible…than godly possible.

                But every second of the way down, Percy had held on to Annabeth with the same amount of strength as when he'd first gathered her into his arms. Luckily, adrenaline was helping his grip not to slack.

                At first, the wind had been knocked out of him, but now the descent felt oddly steady, and Percy dared to speak. "Are you okay, Annabeth?"

                She nodded into his shoulder. "Is it okay to talk?"

                Percy squinted; it still was hard to open his eyes. Even if he could've opened them the whole way, he was fairly certain that, just like now, he'd only see pitch black darkness. "I think so. I haven't heard Arachne for maybe five or more minutes."

                Annabeth tensed at the name. "Think she's gone?"

                "As much as monsters can be, with the Doors of Death closed once more."

                "I hope the others make it in time to stop the camps from fighting."

                "They'll be fine. They've got Nico, and we've seen that he can handle himself and lead. And Hazel's good at getting others to listen. Jason's not so bad either, at leading."

                "Yeah, but…we won't be there."

                The comment was so Annabeth, he wanted to laugh. "Careful, Wise Girl. Your hubris is showing."

                In response, she dug her fingernails into his back.

                "Okay, okay, okay! Ouch…" Percy closed his eyes fully again and buried his face in her wavy hair. Beneath the sweat, blood, and tears, he could still pick up Annabeth's scent—the scent of the far-off Pacific Ocean, clinging to her like a remnant of California. The thought of the West Coast made him strangely nostalgic for New Rome. Not for Camp Jupiter, but for New Rome, and all the sights he'd seen…

                "Will we ever hit the bottom?" Annabeth asked, her voice weak.

                "We'll have to, if we're to get out of here. Have any plans yet?"

                "Working on it. You?"

                Percy began to say "Yeah" when his imagination, and other plans, got a hold of him.

                "Percy?" Annabeth kissed his jaw to get his attention.

                "Sorry…"

                "That's not the first time I've seen or heard you wander like that. You've been…different since Camp Jupiter." She sounded sad.

                "Well, I—" He stopped, because it hadn't been his imagination. They had been slowing down. All of a sudden, gravity made them feel lighter, because it wasn't trying as hard to pull them down.

                Annabeth sensed it, too. She clutched him more tightly, and whispered, "Percy!"

                They landed.

                It was scary, that the landing was not what they'd expected. It had been a soft landing, on some kind of grass or dirt. And they hadn't hit the ground with enough force to blow them apart. No, there they lay, legs entangled, Annabeth's head tucked under his chin, and Percy's arms wrapped around her like a straightjacket.

                "I don't want to open my eyes, not yet," Annabeth whimpered. He'd never heard her sound so vulnerable.

                "Me neither." Percy swallowed the lump in his throat. "So I'll tell you something good."

                "Okay."

                "Annabeth," he said quietly, "we've known each other for years now. We've seen and done things that most adults can't even imagine. We've had to face almost every trial in existence. We've had to grow up too quickly."

                Her cheek was at his collarbone, so he could feel her muster a smile. "Yeah."

                "So when this is all over, marry me."

                He said it in all seriousness, so it hurt when she chuckled, but he knew she didn't do it to be mean. "Are you kidding me, Seaweed Brain? We're just teenagers."

                "We're almost legal."

                "Yeah, but… Our kind rarely makes it to the age where we can think about that kind of future."

                "I know…"

                "And I know you told me about New Rome, but they also have a lot of legacies. The bloodlines thin out there."

                "So maybe it's time for our camp to change a bit, for our bloodlines to dilute so monsters won't necessarily come after them."

                Annabeth sighed. "Percy, you've done this proposal all wrong."

                His shoulders slumped.

                "There's not even a blue cupcake with a ring on it. Honestly."

                He smiled again. He could tell she was happy, despite their surroundings.

                "But, Percy… We're still just kids."

                "Says the girl who got all parental a moment ago at the thought of our friends heading into danger without us."

                She didn't say anything, so they stayed quiet for a few minutes. Then she added, "Percy, do you remember when we had…Atlas' job? Even for a short while?"

                "How could I forget?"

                "Well, we saw that our gray hair went away eventually."

                He nodded.

                "Well…mine's not totally gone."

                Percy was stunned to hear this. "What?"

                "No, don't worry. There are just, like, two or three strands left, and they kind of hide beneath the rest of my hair." Annabeth paused. "You have a couple, too, don't you?"

                He felt ashamed for not telling her, but go figure that the Daughter of Athena would get it. "Yeah, but it's almost gone."

                "Right. They're still fading. And I know that we'll get out of here, so… After all this is over, and our grays are gone, only then can you propose to me, Seaweed Brain. Though I'm sure you already know my answer." Then she tilted her head up, found his lips, and kissed him. She kissed him until they both stopped trembling. "I love you, Percy."

                "I love you, Annabeth."

                And then they opened their eyes.

GAH. Sorry for the cliffie. I was just wondering what's been going on during/after that horrific fall… So I had to write something… Man, I really need to write more PJO fics and draw more PJO fanart. Though surprisingly this is my first Percabeth. :O

Thanks for reading, and feel free to leave an anon/unsigned review via the FFN link or comment via the AO3 link at the top of the post, especially if you enjoyed this!

~mew

2019 note: Oh, jeez. I wrote this back in 2013 before we knew what would happen to them, but I forgot some of these impt details… Only Percy would propose in that climate. :') P much nothing to edit, which only widens my smile as I think how this is another of my PJO fics that still gets a lot of traffic on FFN since it was first published 6 yrs ago. :3

i know ive seen you sy in the past you like Avatar, I was wondering what you thought about the live action series netflix just announced ?

Hmmm……how to put this. This is how all avatar related content has gone since the original series concluded in 2008: 

Legend of Korra: badAvatar Comics: REALLY bad2010 film: SOUL shatteringly terribleLike don’t get me wrong - I WANT this to be good. I WANT this to be worth watching, to be worth making, to be worthy of the original series. But literally nothing that has happened in the franchise since 2008 has given me any hope that it will be. While I respect the work Bryan and Mike did on the original series, they are FAR from the only reason it succeeded and a mass amount of credit is owed to the rest of the writing department who as I understand it will have nothing to do with this live action reimagining. Bryan and Mike are very much an example of writers who believed too much in their own hype and no longer have a firm grasp on what actually made the original show good in the first place. They freely admit half of the things that were great about ATLA were not their ideas and they had to be talked into including. They also committed what I feel is the cardinal sin of writing…….the magnum opus of creator fuck ups…….they retroactively ruined good things about their original show when they attempted to make a sequel. The second you start doing that, I lose all faith in you as a writer. I talk about this with Naruto all the time - if it’s between getting new content at the cost of having the original dragged through the mud or getting no new content at all, then I would rather have no new content. And that’s kind of how I feel with this. 

I’m also…..extremely attached to the entire atla cast and don’t want to see them flanderized or written out of character. Azula specifically is my favorite fictional character of all time (even more than the sand sibs!) which is very worrisome as she’s also a hard character to get right. Aaron Ehasz - head writer on ATLA - made a comment that even the internal production team during the run of the show commonly misunderstood her. Bryke clearly don’t understand her given the way they greenlit the comics god awful interpretation of her as ~psychopathic-straightjacket-crazy~ which like…..ok…..actually I can’t even talk about this because it makes me so irrationally angry. I want to be in a good mood so I have to drop this subject right now immediately. I think there’s also some valid concerns about it being done in live action. Avatar is a show that worked VERY well as an animated story. The visual tone and style would require high budget to adequately pull off and even then I’m not sure it would work. While the thought of seeing some of the more epic moments in live action is admittedly exciting to me, I also worry the aesthetic charm of the original will be lost in that format. While bending is based heavily on martial arts, there’s still a fluidity in motion showcased in the original that’s simply not possible to achieve in live action. There’s also just the question of “why” we need a live action version in the first place as there’s not a ton of ways to improve on the original. It makes me think they’re just using this as an excuse to produce a ~darker~ more “mature” version of the original which…..lmfao. Part of the reason ATLA was so good is because it DIDN’T rely on cheap shock factor or graphic content to communicate its themes. There was a quiet yet deeply honest simplicity in the way they addressed the darker aspects of the show that made it so emotionally compelling. I know ya’ll think Game of Thrones is cool but not everything benefits by being made more ~edgy~. ATLA is already a mature show and the fact that its a cartoon doesn’t change that. 

My greatest fear though is that they will change the original story to try and forcibly integrate the lore-breaking nonsense that plagued the legend of korra in a completely transparent attempt to validate their own poor writing decisions on the sequel. One mention of raava and I’m cancelling my netflix subscription. 

So to summarize: while I’m involuntarily excited on principle, I can’t help but feel this entire project is going to end up just as rage inducing and shoddily written as every other spin off that’s come before it. I genuinely hope I eat my words though! ATLA is an absolutely beautiful show rich with content and I would be over the moon if this new series manages to improve on it or at least lives up somewhat to the quality of the original. I’m just very cautious about it as of right now. I’m not trying to be overly negative but I’m just……I’m so tired. The only sequel/spin off/remake in the entire universal literary canon that hasn’t let me down is Bambi II. 

My Kingdom for a Coat

Part three of The Thing About Being You

[<< part 2] [WEarp masterlist] [part 4 >>]

Pairing: hollirey (Bobo Del Rey/Doc Holliday)

Tags: Enemies to lovers, slow burn, bodyswap

A/N: Canon is gently ignored for the sake of giving Doc a bigger apartment, Doc is a closeted bi mess

Characters in this chapter: Bobo Del Rey, Doc Holliday, Wynonna Earp, Xavier Dolls

Words: 1200+

Beta readers: @intricatecakes​

Read it on AO3

Sunlight felt good on Bobo’s face. It was almost cheesy how nice the ground beneath his feet felt, how comforting the empty air around him was. The revenant took in a deep breath; he felt reborn. He felt free.

Doc started coiling up the rope they had used to pull Bobo out. His eyes kept darting back to Bobo. The revenant knew that if he tried anything there’d be a bullet between his eyes “faster than a fly can blink” as Doc had once said. That was stupid, in Bobo’s opinion. Flies don’t have eyelids, idiot.

“Okay then, let’s go get Peacemaker,” Wynonna told the men.

“Hold on just a damn minute,” Bobo grumbled. “I just got out. I’m not going anywhere like this.” He gestured to himself, his dirt-covered skin, his bloodstained and torn straightjacket.

“Come on, are you kidding me?” Wynonna groaned.

Doc rolled his eyes. “What is it you require your highness?” he asked, sarcasm dripping from his tongue.

“A shower would be nice. A drink, some food, some clean clothes…” Bobo listed. “Maybe my damn coat?!”

“Fine!” Wynonna threw her hands up in the air. It was pointless arguing with Bobo. They had at least gotten this far. “I’ll get your stupid coat. Doc, take him back to your place to get cleaned up.”

Doc started to protest but Wynonna shushed him. “Alright, alright.” He put a hand on her shoulder. “Rest up. We will take care of this first thing tomorrow morning.”

Bobo nodded. “Gun won’t be goin’ anywhere. The Morgans are too prideful to pawn it. Plus they’re-”

“Hoarders,” Doc interrupted. “It’ll be like shootin’ fish in a barrel.”

“More like shooting a needle in a barrel of hay,” Bobo corrected. Doc shot him a glare. “What? They’ve got heaps of magical trash. It could take days to find your Pacemaker.”

“Peacemaker.” Wynonna corrected.

“Gesundheit.”

Doc felt like the chances of him being stabbed in his sleep had increased the second Bobo walked through his front door.

Bobo looked over the blank, pale blue walls. “You should decorate.”

“Since when are you an interior designer?” Doc scoffed.

“Since I walked in here,” Bobo retorted. “The well was homier.”

Doc’s mustache twitched. All the comments about the well really rubbed him the wrong way. Bobo had spend a fraction of the time that Doc had in there. “Could you shut up for a damn minute about that well, for the love of-”

“Toouuchyyy. Sheesh.” Bobo grumbled.

Doc took his coat off and hung it on a mostly empty coat rack. Bobo wasn’t entirely wrong. His small apartment was pretty sparse. He just… didn’t have the time to decorate. That, and he wasn’t exactly used to living in one place for extended periods of time. Back when Doc worked with Wyatt, living situations tended to be moving from inn to inn (or from the home of one lady to another) and then it was on to the next town.

“Bathroom?” Bobo asked, snapping Doc out of his thoughts.

“Down the hall on your right. Refrain from using up my nice shampoo,” Doc told him.

Bobo snorted. “You have ‘nice shampoo’? Really?”

“Oh shut up,” Doc huffed. “I am doing this for Wynonna. Not for you.”

Bobo put a ring covered hand over his chest. “Oh, John Henry, you wound me!”

“Down the hall on your right,” Doc repeated. Bobo rolled his eyes, and then walked off.

“Stupid Bobo and his stupid coat...” Wynonna muttered to herself. “Just get it out of the evidence lockup, yeah that’ll be easy.”

The trade was necessary to get the revenant to actually cooperate with them and not run his mouth. All Wynonna had to do was bring him his ugly ass fur coat. That was easy. The hard part would be keeping Bobo’s presence out of the well a secret from Dolls and the others.

“I should have stayed in bed,” Wynonna grumbled as she walked down the halls of Purgatory’s police station. “But nooo, I thought it would be a nice day for a walk. Who thinks that? What am I, an old lady?”

“Cutest old lady I’ve ever seen,” Dolls told her, suddenly stepping through the door.

Wynonna blinked in surprise, she had been hoping to avoid Xavier. Crap, he couldn’t find out about this. “Aw, I bet you say that to all the gals at the senior home.” Good save.

Xavier smiled. “What are you doing here? It’s your day off.”

“Well, y’know. People like me don’t really get days off,” Wynonna said. “Besides I… wanted to see you.” Not a lie, just avoiding the whole truth.

“You can see me later,” Dolls told Wynonna, giving her a quick kiss on the cheek. “I’m off in an hour.”

“Awesome!” Wynonna grinned, hoping it didn’t look too fake. For added measure, she shot him a pair of finger guns. “See you then.”

When Dolls had returned back to his office, Wynonna breathed a sigh of relief and headed towards the evidence room. Nailed it.

Doc didn’t know what was more annoying: the fact that Bobo sang in the shower, or the fact that the walls of Doc’s apartment were thin enough that the gunslinger could hear him.

“Country roooooads, take me hooome-”

Doc was considering taking his pistol and putting himself out of his misery.

“To the plaaace, I beloooong!”

It was almost like Bobo wanted all of Purgatory to know he was back.

“WEST VIRGINIAAA-”

Doc turned the TV on and cranked up the volume. At least Bobo wasn’t a bad singer. Kicking his shoes off, Doc leaned back on the couch and started flipping through the channels. Something called Doctor Who was on, Jeremy had insisted that Doc watch that.

Eventually the singing stopped and the sound of running water died. Honestly, how long did it take that man to shower?

The sound of soft footsteps alerted Doc to Bobo’s presence in the living room. The revenant’s skin was clean, bare chest, arms, and legs exposed. His white-tipped dark hair was far less oily, though a few strands were stuck against his forehead. With just a towel around his waist, a much tidier, still slightly wet Bobo stood awkwardly in the doorway.

“Could I uh…” Bobo swallowed. “Could I borrow some clothes? I was just gonna take them at first but I figured it was better to ask first. Trying that whole ‘niceness’ thing and all.” He raised his hands from his waist to do air quotes and Doc thanked God that the towel was tucked tight enough to stay put.

Holliday couldn’t help but stare. It was like someone had slapped him, punched him in the stomach, and knocked all of the air out of his lungs. “Uhhhh…. y-yeah. Put some- some damn clothes on your body...” He tore his eyes away and stared at the TV, his cheeks burning. “Shirt and pants and all that.”

Bobo smiled. Not his usual devilish grin, but a genuine smile. “Thank you.”

Doc nodded, only looking back at Bobo when the revenant had turned and started walking away. Cheeks growing red again, he looked back at the TV, even though he wasn’t even processing what was happening on screen.

Doc had seen Bobo shirtless before, so why was this time different? How could he even be sure that this reaction was because of Bobo being shirtless? Stop thinking about shirtless Bobo, dammit! Doc told himself, pushing any thought about that man out of his mind. He was probably just stressed and caught off guard, yes that was it... God, he really needed a drink.

Straightjacket Feeling - Chp.7 (Pearlet) by Scarlet

A/N - sorry its been a while, the internet was down in my apartment building and then to be honest I just struggled to find the motivation to post this. Hope you enjoy!

TW - little angst, and a face from Jason’s past.

Chapter 7

(Do I wanna know?)

If this feeling flows both ways

(Sad to see you go)

Was sorta hoping that you’d stay

(Baby we both know)

That the nights were mainly made for saying

Things that you can’t say tomorrow day

—————————————–

The following weekend Jason was humming to himself as he walked into the bar to meet his friends. He was late as usual, but they were so used to him being late for everything he never saw the point in turning up on time. He saw his friends stood by the bar together but as he got closer his heart started to race.

‘I’m so happy for you guys!’ He heard Brian say.

'It’s fucking brilliant.’ Jake agreed.

'Thanks guys.' Courtney, urgh.

'What’s going on?’ Jason sidled up to the group looking between his friends. Matt held Courtney’s waist and she was wearing the biggest smile Jason had ever seen. He knew. Oh god, it had happened.

'Matt proposed and I said yes!’ She screeched a little holding out her hand so Jason could see the beautiful vintage diamond ring on her dainty finger. His eyes found Matt’s and Matt must have seen the sadness behind them even though Jason tried to disguise it because Matt bit his lip and looked away. Jason felt as though someone had turned the heat up. It felt like the walls were closing in on him. He struggled to breathe. He thought he was actually going to be sick. Courtney was looking at him expectantly, awaiting some form of congratulations. Jason didn’t remember his brain telling him to speak but suddenly he was forcing a smile.

'Wow, that’s…wow. Congratulations.’ He barely heard his own words. He felt dizzy, like everything was spinning.

'Are you ok Jason? You look really pale?’ Kurtis’ voice was distant, Jason barely registered it.

'I thought you were feeling better after last week?’ Matt’s voice was even more distant.

'I uhm…I don’t feel so good.’ He turned around, not entirely sure where he was going but he stumbled, Kurtis just managed to grab hold of him.

'Let’s get you some air.’ Kurtis put his arm around Jason’s shoulders and helped him back outside. Jason fell against the wall.

'This is about Matt isn’t it?’ Kurtis asked him, stroking his hair back off his face.

'He’s…he’s…he told me he was going to propose but I…I didn’t actually believe it was going to happen.’ He was breathing heavily, on the verge of hyperventilating.

'Deep breaths.’ Kurtis told him, rubbing his back. 'Just take deep breaths.’

Jason did as he was told and started inhaling and exhaling slowly and deeply while Kurtis continued to rub his back.

'I can’t believe this is happening.’ He ran his hands over his face, hoping he wasn’t going to cry.

'You still have feelings for him.’ Kurtis bit his lip. He hadn’t realised that until right now. Jason had never told Kurtis the real reason he’d bailed on him on their last day of Spring Break. He’d never told anyone about that night with Matt, because he felt stupid. He’d clearly been a huge mistake for Matt, so why would he want to relive that? He’d tried to pretend his crush on Matt was over long ago, but it was evident now that it wasn’t. Jason nodded his head and sniffed.

'Yeah, dumb right?'

'I thought you got over that, I thought it was just a college crush?'

'I’d hoped it was but no. I’m fucking crazy about him Kurtis and this is killing me.’ A small tear escaped his eye but he quickly batted it away before more could fall. Kurtis pulled him into a tight hug.

'That sucks Jason, I’m sorry.’ He wrapped his arms tightly around his friend. 'He is straight though, you’ve always known that. I mean I know you had that kiss that one time but-’

'Yes I know Kurtis.’ Jason sighed, pulling out of his embrace. 'You’d think that would be enough to make me stop feeling like this, but it isn’t. I don’t know if I’ll ever stop feeling this way about him.'

'Oh sweetie.’ Kurtis stroked his cheek. 'You just need to meet someone else, there is someone out there that will make you make wonder what you ever saw in Matt.’

'I hope so.’ Jason sniffed again. 'I’m starting to doubt that though.’

'When was the last time you went on a date though Jason?'

'I don’t know.'

'Ok, how about the last time you got laid?’

Jason scratched the back of his head as he thought. Jesus it shouldn’t be this hard to remember should it?

'My birthday, that guy I met at the club, you remember?'

'Yeah I remember.’ Kurtis bit his lip. 'Your birthday was almost seven months ago though Jason.'

Jason pouted his bottom lip.

'So?’

'So, you’re not going to get over Matt if you don’t try and find someone new.'

'It’s not like I don’t try Kurtis, it’s just…no one compares to him.’ He hung his head a little. He hated feeling like this about Matt, he really did. He would give anything to meet someone that made him forget about him.

'Do you know what I think the problem is? You’ve clearly put Matt on this pedestal, you think so much of him that you don’t think there is anyone as good as him. You’re too preoccupied wishing you were with Matt to fall for someone else.'

'What are you a therapist now?’ Jason scoffed.

'You just need to meet someone, you need a distraction from Matt.’ Kurtis’ eyes suddenly lit up. 'Oooh I know just the thing! This guy at my work was telling me about this speed dating night he went on and he got like six guys numbers.'

'No, no way.’ Jason shook his head. He was joking right?

'Oh come on! It’s a great way to meet people. I’ll even go with you if you like?’

'Oh yeah I’m sure Patrick will love that.’

'He won’t mind if I tell him in going for you.’ Kurtis waved a dismissive hand at Jason.

'No offence Kurtis but if you came with me it would like having my grandma there.'

'Some offence taken.’ Kurtis frowned.

'Oh come on, you’ve been with Patrick for so long you wouldn’t know what to do with yourself on the dating scene. And you’d spend the whole night fussing over me and probably scare guys away.’ Jason told him and Kurtis knew he was probably right.

'You’re not going to go on your own though are you?'

'I’ll go if you promise not to come with me.’ Jason didn’t want to go, he thought speed dating was a horrible idea, but maybe meeting someone else wouldn’t be a bad thing. A distraction. He certainly wasn’t looking for something serious, because Kurtis was right, in his head he was too busy belonging to Matt to fall for anyone else. But a distraction wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world.

'You promise me you’ll go? I want proof when you do.'

'Sure whatever.’ Jason rolled his eyes. Kurtis was on his phone now, tapping away for a minute before he looked back at Jason.

'There’s one tomorrow night!’ He turned the phone around so Jason could see the page he’d got up.

'Tomorrow? That’s a bit soon.’

'Jason.’ Kurtis raised an eyebrow at him. 'No time like the present.'

Jason rolled his eyes again, knowing full well that arguing with Kurtis was fighting a losing battle.

'Fine, I’ll go. We should get back in, they’re probably wondering where we got to.'

'Are you sure you’re ok to go back in?’ Kurtis pocketed his phone and gave Jason a sad look.

'Yes I’m fine. It’s going to look weird if we stay out here too long. Come on.’ He motioned Kurtis towards the door. Jason took a deep breath as he walked back inside. Their friends had glasses of champagne and were toasting.

'Hey there you are!’ Bri handed Jason and Kurtis each a glass. 'You almost missed the toast.’

Jason took the glass and tried not to make eye contact with Matt as Jake spoke.

'To Matt and Court!’ He cheered and then they all clinked glasses. A second later Matt was at Jason’s side.

'Are you ok?’ He whispered to the younger boy. Jason bit his lip. He was far from ok, but he was determined that he would be. He had to get over this thing he had for Matt before it destroyed him. Matt was getting married. It was over. Jason was never going to be with him. And that hurt like hell but Jason wasn’t going to let Matt know that.

'Yeah I’m fine! Why wouldn’t I be?’ He plastered on a smile and as Matt went to speak again, because he didn’t believe Jason at all, Jason suddenly turned his back on him and was talking to Brian. Matt sighed and sipped his champagne. Why was this engagement starting to feel like a bad idea? He’d been sure that this what he wanted but for some reason now he wasn’t so sure. There was something in his gut as he looked at Jason as he threw his head back laughing at something Brian had said that made Matt feel uneasy. Something in his gut was telling him, something he’d probably always known really, that maybe he was with the wrong person. Maybe the wrong person was wearing his ring. But it was too late now, and Matt was going to have to live with that.

—————————————–

Jason felt uncomfortable as he stood in the bar the following night waiting for the speed dating session to start. He got a drink and stood at the bar not making eye contact with anyone. They’d had to draw straws to see who would sit at the tables and who would do the moving and Jason was so thankful he got to be one of the ones that stayed at the table. His head wasn’t in this, Kurtis had practically forced him into it. He sighed as he remembered he was supposed to prove to Kurtis he’d come tonight. How the hell was he supposed to do that? He thought for a second before pulling his phone from his pocket and opening his Facebook app.

Jason Dardo: is at some dumb speed dating event because his even dumber friend Kurtis Dam-Mikkelsen forced him into it. Proof enough, dumbass?

He updated his status and checked himself into the event. He barely put his phone away before he felt it buzz from a notification. Facebook. He sighed and opened the app back up.

Kurtis Dam-Mikkelsen: proud of you boo! Xx

Jason rolled his eyes as he read the comment. He was about to reply when a voice boomed over the sound system in the bar.

'Can you all take your seats, we’re about to begin. The rules are really simple, guys doing the switching, you have three minutes at each table. If you come across someone you like at the end you can leave a note with me for the guy that takes your fancy with your number on and we’ll pass them out after. If they feel the same then it’s up them to contact you! Right, let’s get started!’ The man was a little too enthusiastic for Jason’s liking. He took a seat at his designated table and ran his fingers through his messy hair. He probably could have made more of an effort but he so didn’t want to be here. He sipped his drink as the man announced they were starting and a man sat down in front of Jason.

'Hi, I’m Robbie.’ The older man smiled. He’d had dark hair once Jason assumed but it was now peppered with greys. He wore glasses and his smile was a little crooked. Jason sighed inwardly, he’d hoped maybe at least he’d meet a guy he’d want to fuck. Things hadn’t started off so well.

'Jason.’ Jason knew he couldn’t sound any less interested if he tried but he didn’t care.

'Nice to meet you.’ Robbie smiled again. 'How does a gorgeous guy like you end up at a speed dating night?’ He chuckled and Jason couldn’t help but pull a face. What a line, he thought.

'Well let’s see,’ Jason began, there was no point in lying to this man. He had no interest in him so he didn’t see the point. 'I’m kind of in love with my straight best friend and he’s just proposed to his long term girlfriend and I started panicking so my friend made me come.’ He sat back in his chair and folded his arms.

'Oh.’ Robbie scratched his awkwardly. 'I see.’

'Hmm.’ Jason mumbled. This was going to be a long fucking night.

—————————————–

There had been no one that caught Jason’s attention, each guy had been a bigger dud than the last and Jason had barely said a word to any of them. He knew he should try and put more effort into this but his head just wasn’t in it. He would rather be at home pining over Matt with a take away pizza. This was beyond depressing. He was about half way through when a messy haired man with a large smile plastered across his face sat down at his table.

'Jason?’ The man asked with a raised eyebrow. Jason frowned scrutinising the man’s face. He recognised him but he didn’t know where from.

'Uhm…yeah?'

'You don’t remember me.’ The guy didn’t seem annoyed about this, his smile turned into more of a smirk.

'Sorry, no.’ Jason shrugged. The guy laughed and ran his fingers through his hair.

'It’s ok, it was like four or five years ago.’ The guy’s eyes seemed to sparkle as he looked at Jason and a wave of recognition hit him as he looked into those eyes. A beach a Daytona. Drinks were flowing. Messy make-out sessions by the pool, in the club. His disappearing act.

'Danny?’ Jason finally smiled, there was a face he never expected to see again.

'The one and only.’ He winked flirtatiously at Jason.

'What are doing in New York?’

'I moved here a couple of years ago, I never in a million years would have expected to see you again.’ He chuckled and Jason had to admit it was a really nice sound.

'Same here.’ Jason laughed.

'How do you fancy getting out of here?’ The sparkle in his eyes was joined by a hint of danger. It made Jason’s body tremble.

'Are we allowed to do that?’ Jason bit his lip.

'Who cares?’ Danny shrugged. 'I’ve found the person I want to take home tonight.'

Jason felt the tremble again, this time confined mostly to his crotch. He looked around. He knew they didn’t have a lot of time before they would have to switch again and Jason wasn’t done with Danny, not by a long shot.

'Fuck it, let’s get out of here.’ He stood from the table as did Danny.

'Party!’ He grabbed Jason’s hand and then they were running for the door.

—————————————–

They walked through the park together, Danny lit a cigarette.

'Where did you go that night?’ Jason finally asked him after a long silence. Danny exhaled the smoke and it drifted gracefully up into the still night.

'You and that guy seemed to be getting into one. I felt a bit like I was stepping on his toes or something.’ Danny shrugged.

'Stepping on his toes?'

Danny turned to look at Jason as they walked.

'Yeah, he was clearly jealous.'

'I don’t think so.’ Jason laughed uncomfortably. 'Matt’s straight.’

'Fuck off is he!’ Danny laughed and he fell down to a bench in the park. Jason sat next to him. 'I got a gay vibe off of him within seconds.’

'Well you must have been mistaken because Matt is very much straight. He’s just gotten engaged to a woman.’ Jason insisted. Danny pulled a face and dragged on his cigarette.

'He’s no straighter than I am.’ Danny shook his head. 'Come on, level with me. You two have fucked right? I mean you should have done because the sexual tension between you two could be cut with a fucking knife.'

Jason bit his lip and shook his head.

'No, no we haven’t.'

He saw the smirk playing on Danny’s lips.

'You’re a terrible liar.’ He laughed, dropping the cigarette to the floor and stubbing it out with his Converse.

'Fine, so we did. Once.’ Jason sighed, that was the first time he’d admitted that out loud.

'In Daytona?'

'The night I met you.’ Jason felt himself blushing. 'But we’ve never talked about it and not long after he met Courtney and now they’re getting married so.'

Danny turned to face him and put his hand on Jason’s leg.

'You still have feelings for him though.’ It wasn’t a question. How did people keep guessing this recently? Was he that obvious? Did Matt know?

'Uhm…well…I mean-’

'It’s ok if you do.’ Danny smiled. 'I’m not exactly looking for something serious. I had a pretty messy break up not too long ago so I’m just looking for some fun. And if you need a distraction from Matt…’ Danny moved in close to Jason, so close he could feel Danny’s breath on his face. 'I’m told I’m an excellent…distraction.’ He smirked, his lips so close that Jason wouldn’t have to move far to kiss him. Jason swallowed the lump forming in his throat.

'You’d…you’d be ok with that?’ Jason stuttered, feeling strangely nervous. Danny’s smirk grew.

'I would be more than ok with that.’ He licked his lip now and Jason knew it was a seduction technique. And it worked. Jason suddenly grabbed the back of Danny’s head and closed the small space between them, their lips melting together. He remembered the kiss instantly; Danny’s plump lips felt incredible. The kiss heated up really quickly, Danny’s tongue was in Jason’s mouth in no time and he was pulling Jason close by the neck of his t-shirt. Jason was hard within seconds, it really had been a long time. They made out for a long time and were both out of breath when Danny pulled back.

'So,’ his eyes sparkled as he stroked Jason’s unruly hair back. 'Your place or mine?'

It was on. It was so fucking on. And suddenly Matt was the furthest thing from Jason’s mind.

—————————————–

Crawlin’ back to you

Ever thought of calling when you’ve had a few?

'Cause I always do

Maybe I’m too busy being yours to fall for somebody new

Now I’ve thought it through

Crawling back to you

Utter Idiot (Leto Joker x Reader)

AN; Oh my lord. This one is SUPER LONG and i’m sorry and it started off with me trying to write something hot but I just had so much fun with this. I am such Leto Joker trash and I don’t even care. I hope you guys like this!

Warnings; Swearing, blood, biting?, guns, mention of murder, mention of drugs, mention of abuse, mentions of torture. I think that’s everything..?

Summary; Reader gets bored waiting for Mr J to get out of Arkham so decides to visit him.

WORD COUNT; 4221     I know please forgive me

The sounds of angry threats and maniacal laughter echoed around the dark and gloomy building. Shifting nervously in the damp corridor, your eyes constantly flitting and focusing on something new in an attempt to familiarise yourself with the place. One of the guards escorting you sent a glare your way, one meant to fill you with unease, but you disregard it quickly. Coming to a sudden halt outside of a heavy metal looking door you are herded in to quite possibly the filthiest room you had ever seen. They’ve gone all out I see. You thought bitterly. Not allowing them the satisfaction of your distaste you turned to the main guard, Officer Michaels. It was only then you noticed you were alone in the room. Confusedly you started towards the man about to question him when he leered; ‘Get comfortable sweetheart’ and with a wink the door was slammed shut in your face. So this is it huh? You thought to yourself as you perched on the disgusting table in the middle of the room. You had been in some questionable places but this just might take the cake. Arkham Asylum, home to the worst of the worst, and now here I am. Harmless little me. You smirked to yourself. You tried to recall when your life got so complicated and quickly became lost in thought. Your whole life had been a bit of a shit storm, so a trip to Arkham wasn’t that out of the blue. Although completely avoidable in this instance you seethed inwardly. Getting more comfortable on the table you impatiently made a list of the people who would inevitably pay for your little trip here today. ‘God help them’ you smirked to yourself, still staring off in to space. You were broken out of your thoughts by the sound of footsteps approaching the hole Michaels had left you in. Readying yourself, you stood throwing back your shoulders and donning a look of indifference and boredom. Battle ready, you looked towards the door as it swung open. Michaels stepping in first; ‘You have half an hour, no more, as required by law this room has no cameras or listening devices. If you need us..’ he trailed off eyeing your body ‘..scream’ he smirked. Rolling your eyes at his idiocy, you added him to the list you had made earlier. Laughter brought your attention to the centre of the mass of guards. A laugh that sent shivers down your spine and brought a sudden heat between your legs. You devoured the green haired maniac in front of you forgetting where you were for a second. He hadn’t yet noticed you too preoccupied taunting the perverted guard. ‘Sexually harassing a lawyer now Officer? You surely should know better?! Besides I never took you for a lover of dick, explains why you just can’t stay away!’ his signature cackle you loved so much met your ears and you had to physically stop yourself from releasing a giggle of your own, grinding your teeth together in your efforts. He’s expecting Frost, Shit. He’s going to be so pissed. You didn’t want to interrupt him, you knew better than to interrupt one of his pissing contests, but you couldn’t allow the guard to have the upper hand. ‘Don’t get me wrong I’m flattered! It just explains your penchant for cavity searches’ J’s cackle brought out laughter from one of the younger guards, Michaels hand shot out clipping the kid around the head. Clearing your throat and adjusting your glasses, you smiled towards the pale clown who was still cackling madly. ‘I can take it from here boys’ you stated as confidently as you could, tilting your head daring them to eat in to any more of your time. The laughter ended abruptly. Ever so slowly the Jokers eyes turned to meet yours. To the guards leaving you alone with the ‘Clown Prince of Crime’ himself, they probably thought he was sizing you up like a predator does its prey, assessing your armour of tight skirt, revealing blouse. But you knew better. His icy blues where furious. You silently prayed he’d be more pissed at the guard for his comments now that he realised they were about you, than at your presence but kept your face as stoic as possible. You took the silence as an opportunity to take him in. He was a hot mess, his hair unkempt and falling around his face. Straightjacket on, limiting how intimidating he could be towards you, although you would never voice that. And blue ‘Arkham’ bottoms hanging low on his hips. Always low on the hips you groaned hungrily to yourself. You felt the desire for him starting to bloom, and saw a slight smirk grace his lips as he caught your obvious ogling. You didn’t care much, he knew he would only have to raise a non-existent eyebrow and you would be stripped bare, ready and waiting to do his bidding. That’s just how you both liked it, and even if he wouldn’t admit it you had nearly the same amount of power over the Kingpin himself.

Before he could speak you smiled innocently; ‘Hello Mister J, I will be your stand in lawyer today as Mr Frost was unavailable’ you pout playfully, sitting back down on the end of the table. Giving him a great view of your skirt riding up your thighs, your bare legs catching his attention as you crossed them purposefully. The look in his eye was hungry as he slowly stalked towards you. ‘Unavailable?’ he questioned finally dragging his eyes from your inviting bare flesh. ‘Well, you see Mr J, he didn’t have much of a fucking choice in the matter’ you smile innocently at him. Quickly dropping the act you glare at him; ‘Really J? You are such a fucking idiot’ J looked up from your legs quickly and you became aware of how close the two of you had become. He eyed your mouth angrily before laughing. 'And you kiss me with that mouth' licking his lips he leant in slowly.

'I do a lot of things with my mouth' you breathed out huskily, standing up abruptly you walked away from him and sat on the shitty plastic chair getting comfortable and playing with a strand of your usually H/C hair which you had to dye in order to go unnoticed. The lack of effort needed for you to go unnoticed by the people of Gotham would forever astonish you. Dye your hair a shade or two lighter or darker, whatever tickled your fancy, and dress like a normie, keeping your tatts covered and you were golden. Fucking idiots, the lot of em. If you were feeling daring you could even pull out your old glasses, no longer needed thanks to the chemical bath you had taken, but nostalgia was always fun.

He growled but sat across from you at the table pouting like an infant. 'If you ever call me an idiot again Princess..' You cut him off rolling your eyes 'Don't make promises we both know you can't keep. You shouldn’t have gotten caught. If you didn’t act like an idiot I wouldn’t need to call you one.' you smirked over at him seeing how riled up he was getting at your attitude.

You'd missed this. The little games. The hot sex when those games came to a head. Literally. But mostly just him in general, nothing matched your crazy quite like he did and his absence had caused quite the void in your life.

'So if this isn't a conjugal visit..' He trailed off hoping he was wrong. You just raised an eyebrow daring him to continue. You were not a woman to be messed with. He sighed like a child denied candy making you giggle. 'I do love that sound Dollface.' He said almost affectionately, like a person does to a pet. However the moment was short lived as his true anger started to slip through his pale faced mask, his blood red smirk taking on a sinister edge.

'What are you doing here Y/N?' Oh shit your actual name that was a bad omen, but you had expected it. 'You had direct orders not to come near this place. If they realise who you are...As much fun as the rough stuff is in the bedroom Doll-‘ he licked his lips eyeing your body ‘-you won't enjoy this place and I don't need nor want anyone touching what's mine' he growled.

You unconsciously stood to go sit in his lap. A mannerism you had picked up quickly in your relationship. He leant in to you as your hands found his hair smoothing it out causing him to purr at the action. 'I had to come and remind you to get your ass in gear and get outta this shit hole. I'm bored and no one will play with me.' You whispered seductively in to his ear, biting his lobe gently to emphasise your point. This made him smile, hearing how lost you were without him played in to his need for control over all things, and hearing that his men wear keeping their distance from his doll, his toy, filled him with joy. ‘Awwwww, is my little Princess missing Daddy huh?’ he teased half-heartedly enjoying your hands in his hair, he hadn’t seen you in at least 11 weeks. Having you so close was intoxicating, his need for you increasing. You were like a drug he had quit but had been offered up to him on a silver platter, the addict in him finding it hard to say no. Stilling your movements, causing him to glare at your pouting face you spat childishly; ‘Honestly Mr J I’m starting to think you like Batsy more than me’ you crossed your arms defiantly, causing him to laugh. Leaning his head forward he started kissing from your sweet spot just below your ear downwards making you arch in to his touch, letting out a soft moan. ‘I may like ruining Batsy’s day one explosion at a time-‘ he carries on his assault towards your cleavage ‘-but his moans of pain don’t compare to my girls moans of pleasure’ his husky confession mixed with his hot mouth on your body was driving you crazy. You were putty in his hands, and he was all too aware. ‘Has my kitten been good while I’ve been away?’ he questioned as he dragged his metal capped teeth across your sensitive skin. Your mind flashed to your many outbursts and what had Frost called them? “unhospitable” play dates. You looked down at him innocently ‘Of course Daddy’. His eyes not straying from his task he bit down hard on the flesh at the top of your breast, barely contained by your deep green silk shirt. You yelped slightly your body jumping too. Releasing you he rested his forehead against yours; ‘Liar’ he whispered, ghosting his lips over yours. Pecking your lips lightly he ghosted his lips across your jawline and up to your ear, licking his lips he asked; ‘How many Dollface?’ You instantly blush at his question not knowing if you should answer or not, his face was hidden from you angled towards your neck as he waited for your reply. You had stayed quiet a little too long for his liking he sucked on your neck aggressively marking you. ‘Th-three’ you stutter out quietly. Stilling he meets your eyes slowly his face angry, shit, okay fine! ‘And four more, okay?! So, seven!’ His face was still unreadable, and he had gone awfully quiet, you just looked at your nails finding them particularly interesting right about now. ‘My Princessssssssss, my pretty, pretty, pretty Princess! Dollface, Sweetcheeks, Kitten.. killed seven of my men?’ his forehead was once again resting against yours, forcing you to make eye contact. ‘Hey it’s not my fault they couldn’t withstand standard torture techniques….if you ask me you’re better off without em!’ you smile sweetly at him. At that he laughs loudly before crashing his lips to yours with such force that it takes you a minute to return the favour. Your hands quickly found his hair and tug at it hard making him groan in to your mouth. Noise outside of the room reminds you of your limited time. 'Shit.. okay listen to me J' He was completely amused by your attempt at bossing him around but you didn't have time for games. ‘I have a little present for you’ you smile at him seductively, you stood up off his lap lifting yourself on to the edge of the table behind you, hitching up your skirt just enough to lift your right heeled foot to rest on his chair, between his legs. His breathing picked up, pupils blown at the sight of you in front of him. For the first time since he had gotten there he was super pissed at Batsy for dumping him in the asylum, his straightjacket restricting him from touching what was his, and he jerked angrily a couple times. Your eyes lighting up at the rise you were pulling from the criminal, you continued lifting your skirt until a black lace garter became visible mid-thigh. This caught the clowns attention, a growl escaping him as you pulled something from beneath it covering yourself once more coming forward to straddle his lap. Leaning over him you reached your hand down between his clothed chest and covered arm, you flick something out to your side but he doesn’t take his eyes from your face, completely caught up in his own lust fuelled haze he barely registers the sound of fabric being torn. It’s not until you snap something shut with a quiet metallic ringing noise that his attention zeroes back in on your actions. He watches as you slide in his favourite jester embossed straight razor in to the small incision you made, hidden due to the angle of the cut. Your eyes full of concentration as they urge him to grasp the cool metal. 'When the time comes everything will make sense but for now I need you to trust me’ you stated as you leant back away from him to be sure that the blade wouldn’t be detectable underneath the fabric. He murmured an acknowledgement eyeing your mouth not really paying attention. You stood up off of him pulling him with you 'J listen to me' you urged 'I need you to hurt me' you said seriously. 'What?! No! Why would you ask me that?!'  He was furiously putting the pieces together quickly realising why you were here. Swearing Frost would pay for allowing you to be a part of this. He started to back off looking at you like you were crazy. Which, let’s be honest is true. You understood his hesitation, no matter how frustrating. The both of you had had a few run-ins in the past when a fight had gone too far, and although he would never admit it he’d felt some things afterwards, guilt maybe? Realising you had a matter of minutes left you played the only card that could possibly work in this instance. Grabbing his jaw forcefully you pushed him against the wall with all your strength and whispered spitefully in his ear. 'I've been real lonely since you left Daddy. I wonder if that Officer who was ogling me before would fuck me as good as you can?' you smile cruelly ‘I mean shit, at this point I’d do Frost!’ His jaw started to tense under your touch and you could feel his rage building. You pulled back, 'Maybe the good Officer can do me while they take you back to your cell' you had barely finished when his head came forward and busted your nose. Manic laughter left you as blood started to flow down your face and ruin your shirt. 'You. Are. Mine' he raged in your face. Ghosting your bloodied lips over his you whispered 'Always Mr J' He was still shaking with anger and was stalking towards you. You backed off smirking pushing the table and "falling" to the floor. 'GUARDS! Please help me, someone please! Oh God..' You started screaming and turned on the water works. The sudden change in your behaviour snapped J out of it and he started to go along with the charade cackling like a mad man. 'I'm afraid Miss that I may be in need of a new lawyer!' again cackling as if he had never said anything funnier. At this point the guards had come crashing in and where dragging J away in seconds his laughter haunting the hallways as he was dragged off to solitary confinement as planned. Some “officer” was helping you up off the floor. ‘Ma’am’ he murmured. You were full on sobbing at this point. Very convincing if you say so yourself but, you sent the goon a wink of acknowledgement. Whatever Mr J thought about you being there be damned, you had been bored of Frost telling you to wait until Boss gave the word, so you’d set this little stunt up yourself. Poor Frosty is going to need a raise after this.. if I can get him back home alive that is. J’s men had infiltrated the compound and you were just waiting for Frost to get his ass in gear and get this show on the road. The henchman who helped you up, Liam, your personal guard, was directing you in to the hall way and out of the vile room when Michaels decided to show up. His eyes raked your body but now in concern instead of want, eyes straying to your injury which was merely a nagging pain at this point but you needed this man to think you were weak and helpless ‘Miss I-‘ he was cut off by the sound of an explosion and the asylum alarm blaring. Your sobs grew louder as Michaels reassured you that you would be safe, not questioning the unfamiliar guard accompanying you. He led you both to a secure office, immediately going to a computer looking to see where the threat originated, directing, guards through his radio. Little did he know you were the threat. You took Liam’s hand gun silently exchanging looks with him as your sobs ceased instantaneously. Michaels turned at the lack of noise in the room only to be met with the barrel of a gun. ‘Officer Michaels.. I wish I could say it’s been a pleasure, but it truly hasn’t. I wanna take my time with you, your derogatory comments just haven’t sat well with me officer’ You pout at him playfully ridding yourself of your heavy framed glasses. ‘Please, I don’t know who you are but-‘ he tried to reason with you eyeing Liam as if he was crazy for letting some loon pull a gun on a fellow officer. The sound of your cackle makes him pale. He knows that laugh. Most of Gotham does. He was stood in front of the Queen. ‘Oh him?’ you questioned gesturing with your free hand to Liam. ‘He’s with me. Now! I do believe that we had a safeword did we not?! What was it you said? If I needed help I should.. scream?’ you asked tilting your head shooting him in the abdomen. He screamed out in pain cussing you out but you just stepped over him to play with the fancy computer he had been using, unlocking all the cells. That should slow them down. Looking back down at Michaels you pout, ‘See, Mr J doesn’t like me in danger so I have to miss out on all the fun. Well at least I have you eh, Michaels?!’ Liam cringes in the corner at your giggle and silently prays that the Joker will find you both soon, worried that if Michaels bleeds out while you’re having your fun that he’ll be next. - You can hear J approaching the office in search of you, berating Frost for allowing you in to the asylum in the first place. I wonder if Frosty still has all his limbs? ‘Ohhhh, Dollface! Daddy’s ready for ya!’ he calls out and you jump up from the now dead Officer Michaels, blood stained and giddy. Liam is first out the room checking for threats but you push past him right in to J’s arms. You crush your lips to his each of you forgetting the chaos surrounding you, bullets still flying serenading you both. His hands digging in to you, one hand at your throat the other at the small of your back. He pulls away slightly his hand at your throat tightening just so, making you moan in pleasure. ‘You will pay for disobeying me Doll’ he spits angrily his crazed eyes dancing all over you unsure of what he wants to do more, you or get out of there. ‘Promise?’ you manage to gasp out. His lips smash against yours again except this time you feel him smirk in to it. ‘Oooooh Batsy’ he groans in to your mouth. Enraged you pull away shooting at his feet with the gun you stole from Liam earlier ‘TOO SOON J’ you shout storming off out through the blown out asylum walls with his men. ‘Awwwwwww! Come on Princess! Daddy was just kidding!’ He cackles after you. - Later that day you’re all back at the apartment, the excitement dimmed, and all cleaned up from the outing to retrieve Mr J. It’s as if the boss man hasn’t been gone for almost three months, no one acknowledging his little trip away at all. Speaking of J, he’d been in his office now for a good few hours, hiding out from you. You were still pissed at the Batsy stunt he pulled earlier, knowing that you felt oddly competitive with the Bat for attention. All cleaned up from the trip you strolled out of the master bedroom headed to find something or someone to entertain yourself with. Your eyes landed on Frost as you enter the living room. It would seem J had found time to make Frost his personal punching bag, he was bruised with a nose to match yours and he seemed to be standing more on his left than his right. You don’t know if he looked like this when you left the asylum, you had been too busy sulking. You smiled over at him apologetically but he just shook his head back at you waving you off. Feeling bad you went to find solace in the kitchen. You sat on the counter with your favourite candy daydreaming, your eyes glancing out the large windows, showing you the Gotham city lights. J’s footsteps coming towards you knocked you out of your trance like state. He had wandered in to come find you, thankfully no longer in those ‘Arkham’ pants, even if they did leave little to the imagination. He was freshly showered, dressed in a maroon silk shirt showing off his chest and extensive tattoo collection, pants and dress shoes. Seeing him in front of you again added to fodder to the fire that had been lit since the asylum, a fire you were yet to put out, and you physically swallowed. It had been almost three months since you had been together and boy were you feeling the strain. ‘There you are Doll! Come with me Daddy’s got something for ya!’ He smiled at you holding out his hand. You eyed it cautiously. You knew for a fact he was still pissed at you and you weren’t sure if this was some sort of trick. You thought it over as quickly as you could, his sigh of annoyance making you panic and grab his hand hopping off the counter. He led you back towards the master bedroom. Frost sending you pitying looks making you gulp. Once inside J let go of your hand walking backwards towards the bed, stopping not far from it. ‘Now Princess I know my little joke earlier upset you so I got you a present!’ he rushed out excitedly. You winced, both at the reminder of him moaning the Bat’s name whilst with you and at the idea of him getting you a gift. He often lavished you in gifts but in a mood like this, they weren’t always guaranteed to be nice. He ushered you towards a nice big purple box on the edge of the bed. ‘Go on! Open It!’ he giggled. Lord have mercy on my soul you silently prayed. Lifting the lid you froze at its contents. Laughter erupted from beside you, and you watched as J fell to the floor, tears streaming down his face as he rolled about. ‘Are you fucking kidding me J?!’ you seethed. Inside was a Batman costume with fake eyelashes and eyeshadow applied to the mask. You through the lid at J hitting him square in the chest, and made to storm out. Suddenly you were yanked down on top of him; ‘I love it when you talk dirty baby!’ he laughed. ‘Shut up and kiss me you fucking idiot.’ You grumbled. He didn’t need telling twice. Quickly his lips locked with yours and it wasn’t long till your real “punishment” was handed to you.

If you finished this, you trooper i’m sorry for this time you will not get back. Until next time!

New Beginnings - Chapter 2

Chapter 1 can be found here

Chapter 2 - The Accident

It was about twenty past two when I finally woke up.

I was still tired but I felt a lot better. Until I remembered what Scott had told me.

I sat on the edge of my bed, thinking. Before I went to bed, I'd explained to Alan why I was close to Scott. He'd understood immediately, then hugged me.

I looked at my bedside table. That was where I'd put my photo frame, which I'd picked up in our hurried departure. It was the sort that could hold more than one picture. This one held eight. Scott, John, Virgil, Gordon, Mr. Tracy, father and two of Alan. One was a professional picture and in the other, he was in the pool. I would like to have had a picture of my mother in there, too. I don't know what happened to her and I don't have any pictures.

I picked up the photo frame and looked at the pictures closely, studying each one for a brief moment until my eyes came to rest on the one of Gordon. I sighed as I put the frame down, then crossed the room to where I'd dumped my bags.

Due to our late arrival, I'd only unpacked my nightdress, but after rummaging for about five minutes, I found my dressing gown. I put it on and headed down to the kitchen.

From behind the closed door, I could hear voices. I stood outside and listened for a while.

"They are going to be so surprised when they find out."

"Calm down, Virgil. We don't tell them anything yet. At least, not until Gordon's up and about again." Mr. Tracy's voice seemed to waver as he finished his sentence.

I pressed a button and as the door hissed open, all eyes in the kitchen were on me.

"Good morning, Sleeping Beauty. Or is it good afternoon yet?" John announced from the other side of the kitchen. "We were beginning to wonder if you were ever going to get up. Thought we'd have to send in the search parties!"

"John, don't tease her, she's had a long journey," Scott said. "One was cramped, she had bad company and a cabin full of luggage, the other was with Alan and me!" He and Alan started laughing like it was the funniest thing anyone had ever said, while the rest of us sane people looked at them with straightjackets in mind.

"Nice to see you, too, Scott." I said.

After lunch, the boys went for a swim while I sat up in the lounge, on the balcony, watching them duck and race each other. I looked behind me to where Mr. Tracy was tidying his desk as he spoke to me.

"Tin-Tin? Do you think you could shout down to them to keep the noise down, please? Gordon's still asleep." I knew Mr. Tracy was joking, but I could see it was hard for him to say.

"Is Gordon all right, Mr. Tracy? Scott told me last night what happened."

He sighed and sat on the edge of his desk. "He's all right. He just needs a lot of rest at the minute," he glanced at the picture of Gordon on the wall. "I'll tell you what. I'll go see if he's awake. If he is, you can go see him. I know how much you two like to talk about water and all, might help him feel better." The possibility of seeing Gordon made me feel happier. I watched as Mr. Tracy started to head towards the door, then double back. He went over to his desk and pressed a button, which set off a buzzer outside, by the pool. He spoke into a microphone at his desk and his words were reproduced through a speaker in the trellis of the patio.

"Can't you lot behave for five minutes? Keep the noise down please, boys," he said in a humorous tone. He smiled, then left.

I looked down as they started whispering and trying to swim quietly. It was very comical to watch, but it didn't last more than a few seconds.

When Mr. Tracy returned, I knew there was good news, it was written all over his face. "He's up, alright. He got up and answered the door! You go ahead and see him. I'm gonna go and tell the others. I just hope they don't get me too wet this time. Last time I went to talk to them with that many of them in the pool at once, I got soaked!"

I don't think I'd ever seen him so happy. I headed off toward Gordon's room, while Mr. Tracy left the villa and started down the steps to the patio.

I remembered where Gordon's room was from my last visit, as I'd spent about four hours in there, looking through his research books with him.

Being an oceanographer and an aquanaut meant that most of Gordon's research material was marine based. I loved looking through it to find dolphin pictures.

I reached his room and knocked the door. "Hang on a minute," I heard him call weakly, "I'm coming."

"Oh, you don't have to," I called through the door.

It opened and stood behind it was Gordon on crutches and with a bandage on his head, but with a huge grin across his face.

"Tin-Tin! I'm so happy to see you!" he cried, leaning forward to hug me.

"I'm happy to see you, too," I said, "but I'm going to need full use of my lungs."

"Oh, sorry," he said, releasing me, and gesturing me in. "I've had a hell of a time these last few months."

We went into his room and he eased himself down onto his bed and rested his crutches against the wall beside him. I sat down on the bedside chair, waiting to hear what he had to say.

"Five months ago, I was out in my speedboat. I was just sailing round, killing time. I guess I didn't turn in time because I hit the other craft at 400 knots. My vessel was completely smashed and I've been in a hospital bed recovering for four months. According to Scott, I was in a coma for most of that time. I got home a month ago, but the course of drugs I was on meant I still spent a lot of time sleeping. I've only just finished them. Dad would come in every morning and every evening bang on 9 o' clock to give me them. As soon as he had, he'd leave and I'd fall asleep again. There were a couple of times when he'd stay in my room when I fell asleep again. On those occasions, he was still sat in the chair asleep if I ever woke. He doesn't come in very often any more, not since the medication ran out."

We talked for a while longer about his time with the World Aquanaut Security Patrol, which he referred to as WASP, and the year he spent underwater investigating marine farming methods.

He also mentioned something about a thunder bird, but I'd never heard of one of those. I assumed it was some sort of bird that lived on the island. When I asked him about it, he looked a bit sheepish. "Dad hasn't told you yet? Oops. You'd better ask him."

About an hour later, Gordon surprised me completely.

"Do you want to go down to the pool? I expect the others are still there."

I did want to, but I didn't want to just leave him. "What about you?"

"I was thinking that when we get to the stairs, you take my crutches and I lean on your shoulder. One of my legs is still good, so it won't be too bad."

My mouth dropped open with surprise as I looked for the words I wanted. "Oh, you want to come with me. Are you up for that?"

"Yes, of course I am. Don't look so shocked. I've been practising on my crutches in here since I came off my medication last week, but the others rarely come in to see me. They think I still sleep twenty-four-seven."

"Well, okay, if you think you can," I said. I still wasn't sure, but we left anyway.

It took a while, but we made it down to the patio. The others were still floundering about like they lived in that pool, but they all stopped splashing about and jumped out one by one as they saw us coming and offered us assistance.

"Gordon!" John yelled.

"Are you all right?" Scott asked

"How are you feeling?" Alan shouted.

"It's nice to see you're looking better," Virgil said.

They spoke with genuine affection for their brother and all looked very happy to see him.

"Look, will you fellers stop fussing over me?" Gordon shouted above their comments and they eventually settled down.

He sat down on the edge of the pool and lay his crutches down beside him, then gently lowered his legs over the edge, letting his feet dangle in the cool water.

It was a strange sight. While one leg swung backwards and forwards, stirring up the water, the other hung nearly lifelessly.

Virgil went and sat next to him and started to talk and I suddenly realised I still hadn't gotten changed and it was nearly quarter to six in the evening.

I turned toward the villa, meaning to go and get changed, when I heard someone call my name. I spun round as John swam to the edge of the pool and called my name again. "Yes, John. What can I do for you?"

"Why don't you join us?"

How could I refuse? I've always loved swimming. "Do I have a choice?" I called.

"No, not really!" he answered, laughing.

I had to hide a grin as he waited for my response. He hadn't noticed what I had. Scott quietly swam up behind him and after taking a breath; he submerged. The next thing I knew, Scott had hold of John's ankles and was pulling him under.

The latter surfaced, spluttering, but Scott was already sat on the other edge of the pool, enjoying a cool drink.

I laughed, then headed up the long flight of steps, colliding with Mr. Tracy just inside the lounge. He groaned and stepped back a little. "I'm sorry, Mr. Tracy," I said, smiling.

"Oh, don't worry, just watch where you're going," he replied, smiling back as he rubbed his chest. "How's Gordon?"

"You can ask him personally if you want. He's down by the pool with the others."

A look of shock crossed his face, then happiness. He looked down at the pool to see Gordon still cheerfully talking to Virgil. We also saw Alan swim underwater towards him, but when he surfaced, Gordon kicked water over him with his good leg. He looked up, saw us looking and waved.

I waved back, smiled at Mr. Tracy, then headed off to my room to get changed.

About a week later, at about half one in the morning, I was woken by a loud noise. Usually, I can sleep through anything, once I'm asleep, but this was so loud, so close. It sounded like a rocket was taking off from somewhere on the island. I didn't know what it was, but it scared me, yet ten minutes later, the noise was gone as quickly as it had started.

New Post has been published on http://www.lifehacker.guru/5-ways-not-to-hate-your-husband-after-kids/

5 Ways Not to Hate Your Husband After Kids

Since I got married, my “love language” has become the love language of picking your shit up off the floor—because nothing kills romance or libido faster than cleaning up after someone like a 1950’s housewife. And yet this is the norm for many heterosexual new parents: that the woman, whether she works or not, will do most of the labor (much of it unseen) around child-rearing and housekeeping. We may have had egalitarian relationships pre-kids; we may anticipate that we’ll enjoy a pristinely fair division of labor post-kids, but when the actual baby arrives—well, it can be like a bomb going off in your marriage.

For one, the sheer volume of work is not really comprehensible in advance. The Sisyphusian labor of dishes, laundry, housekeeping, admin, and childcare is just…brutal and inexorable, like being caught in a years-long, slow-moving mudslide. Most people have a hard time feebly mumbling, “I don’t think you understand how hard I work around here” whilst scooping mud out of their face.

But the second major problem is more insidious. It lies in our understanding of gender roles, and not in broad “only men should work and only women should stay home” strokes, which I think we’ve (mostly) moved past. It’s more that a million little pieces of information are passed to women via a social pipeline—information that is generally not passed to men. A girl’s first job is often babysitting, and in adulthood she will attend baby showers in which (whether she wants it or not) she gets an earful about the best straightjacket sleep-sack and best infant containment system; by talking to older mothers, she perhaps has already formed an opinion on cry-it-out versus co-sleeping or attachment parenting versus arming children with machetes or whatnot.

This information puts mothers, even on day one of parenthood, way ahead of fathers in terms of know-how and expertise. And unless she’s willing to instruct (and he’s willing to be instructed, and the instruction is more worthwhile than just doing it herself) it’s easy to slip into an arrangement in which moms shoulder the bulk of the childcare and housework. This is slowly changing—men attend baby showers now, and daddy blogs are a real thing—but women are, generally speaking, still running the domestic show.

Which brings me to resentment. Which brings me to Jancee Dunn’s new book How Not to Hate Your Husband After Kids, which she wrote after a crisis in her own marriage involving division of labor, anger, vicious fights, and finally, the realization that if things didn’t change, divorce was inevitable. Her meticulously researched book pulls together the social science behind domestic labor and gender roles (news to me: Men are more likely to be awakened by “strong wind” than a crying baby, whereas women will levitate awake and sprint into a child’s room—running through the air à la Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon—at the merest infant sniff) with first-person interviews and her own marital experiments in couples counseling. She even sought help from an FBI crisis negotiator.

A note: Her how-to is primarily for heterosexual couples—there is a larger body of research on heterosexual couples than there is for same-sex couples, and hetero couples have all the aforementioned gender-role programming to deal with—but the book is pretty helpful for anyone at all who’s ever resented their partner after having a baby.

I spoke with Dunn to get her top five tips for not hating your partner after kids.

1. Let him screw up. 

A friend of mine recently said, about her husband and new baby girl, “He would take a bullet for this kid, but he might forget to put a hat on her.” Remember that social pipeline of information? He doesn’t have it, and if you don’t let him learn, you’re engaging in “maternal gatekeeping,” or keeping him from participating in the nitty-gritty of childcare.

He has to bond with his kids too, and you have to let him make mistakes. That means not hovering and not signaling, overtly or subtly, that you know better. Total immersion is the only way, says Dunn. “Leave the house. Get a coffee, or go away for the weekend. His way is not the wrong way.” (I have recently learned that it doesn’t actually help my sweating husband, when he’s struggling to get the kids out the door, to raise my eyebrows and say “classic mistake—always put your own coat on last.”) If you don’t have both partners fully taking ownership, then you’ll stay stuck in the employer/sullen teenage employee dynamic.

But what, you ask, if your husband doesn’t want to do any domestic labor? What if he’s content to let you be the maker of the grocery lists and the keeper of the pediatrician appointments, summer camps, play dates and special laundry instructions? Then, Dunn, says, you are going to have to learn to …

2. Stay on your own side. 

You need to advocate for what you need, or stay on your own side. Now, this advocating can mean losing your temper and screaming that he needs to get off his ass and fold a load of laundry, or no it’s not okay to take a long nap after a long hot shower after taking a long solo run all morning, or you can have a civil conversation and divide up the chores. And keep having that civil conversation, weekly or monthly, as new responsibilities crop up and others fade away. (Goodbye diapers, hello baseball camp.)

Dunn suggests dividing housework based on who likes or loathes what chores—her own husband hates the grocery store (“the crowds, the florescent lighting, whereas I like seeing the new products and thinking about what I’m going to cook”) so food shopping has become her responsibility. He’s compulsively punctual, so he’s in charge of all things time-sensitive, like bill-paying and taking his daughter to her classes.

Not staying on your own side means stewing in silent fury as you do the dishes, bathe the kids, pack lunches and fold laundry—while your spouse reads a magazine in bed. It means presenting things as a choice: “Do you want to do baths or dishes?” and then, after that, “Do you want to fold laundry or pack lunches?”

This doesn’t necessarily mean that you get to dictate exactly how the chores get done—my husband prefers to pack lunches and do dishes in the morning, so unless I want to do these things myself…they’re waiting until tomorrow.

3. Insist on your half-day. 

Dunn tells me that “weekends should not be a forced march” of childcare and chores. “You need to negotiate weekend time, and ask each other ‘what are we doing this weekend that meets everyone’s needs?’” She calls it the “everyone sort of wins” strategy.

My husband and I long ago agreed that we would each get a half-day off, every weekend, in which we could sleep in and had no childcare or housekeeping responsibilities. Even if we’re all home, one parent is off duty. When my kids inevitably ask me if they can have a snack/watch TV/set fire to something, I say “Daddy’s in charge till lunchtime,” and they take their requests to him. (Answers: yes, yes, and depends on what it is.) I read in bed or go for a run or meet a friend for coffee, with no comment from him. He watches the Braves lose five games in a row, with only a few comments from me (“This is how you relax?”). It’s blissful.

4. Have sex during Tae Kwon Do. 

Who has energy for sex when you’re caught in a mudslide? Many new mothers feel like sex is just another demand on their time and bodies, and it’s often easier to say “not tonight, dear, I have a long Netflix queue.” Dunn cites research that claims the marital “sweet spot” for sex frequency is once a week, and that the ideal length of time for intercourse is seven-13 minutes (insert standard note here that intercourse is of course not the only way to have sex). That’s really not a lot of time—and if you, as Dunn did, ask your husband to take some of the evening routine off your plate by putting the kids to bed a tad early, it won’t cut into your precious, precious, sleep time.

For others, scheduling sex is the only way to make sure it actually happens. Dunn tells me about a friend who has a standing sex date with her husband while their twins are at Saturday morning Tae Kwon Do (a drop-off class, I presume). My own husband, at one point defeated by the relentless demands of a baby and a preschooler, said desperately, “We’re going to have to start paying for sex.” When I asked him to, uh, clarify, he said, “We need to hire a sitter to take them out of the house for a few hours or we’ll never have sex again.” Nothing like paying for a babysitter to make you use your time productively!

And having good sex means you’ll want to have more sex, so getting over that first hurdle, so to speak, will make you more eager to do it again. (Disclaimer that no one should be having sex unwillingly—these are just tips for finding time and getting in the mood.)

5. Learn to fight fair. 

“Know that your baby is affected [by your fighting],” Dunn says. “If you’re fighting over her head, making a few choice gestures, she’s getting those stress responses. We were in a pattern called ‘Demand-Withdrawal,’” in which one partner tries to get the other to do something, or to engage and communicate, and the other one just shuts down. The relationship gurus John and Julie Gottman call this stonewalling, and it’s one of the big predictors of divorce. (Um, maybe because it’s enraging.)

Dunn and her husband went to couples therapy—and even consulted with an FBI crisis negotiator—to learn to fight fair, and to fight away from their daughter. They learned techniques such as “mirroring,” when the person echoes what the other person just said, and paraphrasing the gist of their complaint. She said, “And sometimes you have to laugh because the paraphrasing is wildly off—‘You’re angry because I stepped around you while you were emptying the dishwasher’—‘No, I’m angry because you stood there jingling your keys and saying let’s go instead of offering to help.’”

For her part, Dunn had to learn to control her temper, which a therapist told her was verbally abusive, and to ask directly for help, rather than spiraling into a rage cycle when her husband couldn’t read her mind.

How To Not Hate Your Husband After Kids is extremely helpful, and even comforting, if for no other reason than you realize that many couples are confronting the same programming and conflicts you are—and have managed to fight their way clear.

“We’re only a generation or two away from the homemaker/breadwinner model,” she says. Every couple has to reinvent what’s right for them—a strict feminist model calls for a precise 50-50 split, but Dunn argues for what “feels equitable” to each couple.

And Dunn notes, while we’re talking, that her book isn’t necessarily going to help a marriage that’s really far gone. All of her research-backed advice is predicated on the belief that both parties are good people who want everyone to be happy—it’s not, obviously, for people in abusive relationships or even for women married to partners who are just fine with watching football all weekend while their wives clean, cook, and chauffeur.

“A lot of people have come up to me [since the book was published] and say ‘too late! I already hate my husband!’” she says. Her stock answer has become: “‘Therapy, both couples and individual, really helped me—and maybe it can help you.’” To me, she continues, “and maybe it will help that person get out of their marriage—to ask themselves, ‘why am I letting myself be treated like this?’” Towards the end of her book she cites a comment from sociologist Scott Coltrane: “One of the biggest shifts in recent years is that many women will simply not put up with partners who don’t contribute at home.”

We can’t necessarily do anything about the mudslide. We can’t necessarily do anything about the gender-role programming we received in childhood (and continue to receive). But we can stop and have a conversation about who takes the kids to hockey and who goes through the bills. We can have sex during Tae Kwon Do. We can make sure that everyone sort of wins. And that’s how not to hate your husband after kids.

But What If You Still Hate Your Partner?

Everything I Learned About Relationships by Sucking at Dating

Five Communication Mistakes Almost Every Couple Makes

What You Can Do Right Now to Safeguard Your Relationship Against a Bloody, Messy Death

©

Straightjacket Feeling - Chp.8 (Pearlet) by Scarlet

A/N - chapter contains some Viadore smut and just Viadore-centric in general. Some angst towards the end.

Chapter 8

So have you got the guts?

Been wondering if your heart’s still open and if so I wanna know what time it shuts

Simmer down and pucker up

—————————————–

‘Are you a top or a bottom?’ Danny panted as he straddled Jason on Jason’s bed. Jason kissed him and ran his fingers through his hair.

'I’m usually a bottom.’ He bit Danny’s lip making the other man moan a little.

'Works for me.’ He sat back and pulled his jumper off revealing he had nothing on underneath. He had tattoos dotted up his arms and Jason found himself reaching out and touching one which made Danny smile. Then Jason’s hand trailed over Danny’s chest and stomach, coming to a stop at the waistband of his jeans. Danny grinned and toyed with the button.

'You have to get naked too.’ He kissed Jason again and Jason didn’t need to be told twice. While Danny was working on his own jeans, Jason stripped of his t-shirt and trousers leaving him straining against his boxers. Danny was soon undressed too only he was completely naked. He put his hands on his hips and smirked at Jason.

'Nah uh, that won’t do.’ He was then hooking his fingers in the waistband of Jason’s pants and in one swift move they were gone. Danny laid back on top of Jason and they made out as their hard dicks rubbed together making both boys gasp into each other’s mouths. Danny’s lips moved away from Jason’s and he felt them trail down his neck, nipping at his skin. Then they were on his chest, Danny took his time sucking each of Jason’s nipples, biting his nipple ring and tugging it a little with his teeth.

'Where’s your stash?’ He asked between kisses on Jason’s torso. Panting, Jason pointed to his top drawer. Danny smiled and reached over to the bedside unit pulling out a bottle of lube and a condom. He slicked up his fingers and pressed them outside Jason’s hole. He bowed his head and continued kissing down Jason’s torso and then his tongue lapped over the head of Jason’s erection, making him gasp. As he gasped, he felt Danny’s fingers slowly push inside him and his lips wrapped around his shaft, making Jason moan loudly.

'Oh fucking hell.’ He panted, his fingers finding Danny’s locks and entwining themselves in them. His fingers worked on opening Jason up, scissoring him for a while before a third finger joined them and his lips were working his dick. He sucked up and down the length of Jason’s erection, lapping over his head each time he came up. Jason was panting and moaning, his fingers pulling a little at Danny’s hair. The sensation of both Danny’s fingers and his lips were all too much and Danny knew that when he tasted Jason’s pre come on his tongue.

'Are you ready for me?’ He came off Jason’s dick and looked up at him through hooded eyes.

'Fuck yes, please?’ He was a mess, he couldn’t pretend otherwise. Danny removed his fingers and sat up, ripping the condom open with his teeth. Jason watched in lustful awe as Danny rolled the condom over his dick and coated a little lube on the outside. He bowed his head and their lips met in a messy yet passionate kiss. He took Jason’s spindly legs and threw them over his shoulders as he started pushing his way inside. Jason clenched around him, moaning deeply. Danny smirked and then he was moving, thrusting in and out slowly at first. His fingers delicately stroked Jason’s torso and Jason grabbed Danny’s ass, desperate for him to fuck him harder.

'More.’ Jason panted, his eyes dark with lust. Danny smiled and he picked up his pace as Jason had asked.

'Fucking hell you feel so good.’ Danny threw his head back biting his bottom lip hard. His eyes were closed but his hand trailed down Jason’s body and took hold of his shaft. Jason was already close to the brink due to Danny’s work with his lips and he could feel more pre come leaking out of his head onto Danny’s hand. Danny opened his eyes and looked down at Jason whose nails were digging into his ass.

'Are you close?’ Danny panted already knowing the answer.

'Yeah…really fucking close.'

Danny increased his speed, pounding in Jason and quickened his pace on his strokes of Jason’s cock. Jason groaned in an animalistic fashion and then he came, feeling his hot come spill onto his stomach. Danny’s face was flushed and Jason could tell he was close too. He thrust in and out a few more times and then he groaned too, Jason felt his cock trembling inside of him as he filled the condom with his load. Danny slowly pulled out and tossed the condom. He gave Jason a kiss and stood up.

'We should do that again sometime.’ He winked at Jason and grabbed the paper and pen Jason kept by his bed and scrawled his number on it. He dressed while Jason used a tissue to clean the come off his body. Danny gave Jason one last kiss once he was clothed.

'Call me yeah?’ He winked again with that dangerous smirk.

'Of course.’ Jason smiled and then Danny was on his way. Jason got under the covers and located his phone. He had several Facebook notifications. He rolled his eyes and opened the app. His speed dating status update had gotten a lot of attention and he had likes from people he barely even knew, the kind that you meet once and then they add you as a friend and Jason was always too polite to decline them. There were all several comments too but these all came from his friends.

Kurtis Dam-Mikkelsen: I am dying to know how it went! CALL ME BITCH! Xx

Brian Firkus: ooooh juicy! I’ve heard those things are meant to be ripe with hot men ;)

Brian McCook: don’t get any ideas Brian Firkus.

Jake Ludwig: ha-ha Jason’s gettin laid 2nite!

Kurtis Dam-Mikkelsen: by his lack of Facebook activity I wouldn’t be surprised if he was getting laid right now.

Jake Ludwig: Jason u dirty dog! We want all the deets

Jason rolled his eyes again and sighed. The final comment was what made him stop in his tracks.

Matthew James Lent: wtf? Seriously Jay? I thought you had higher standards than that…

And just like that Matt was back in his head. Danny had been right though, he made a really good distraction; he hadn’t thought about Matt all night. And Jason so desperately needed a distraction. He closed the Facebook app, he didn’t want to sit here and scrutinise Matt’s comment, spending all night wondering what he meant and inevitably getting frustrated. He picked up the piece of paper Danny had left and typed out a new message.

Was good to bump into you again tonight. Definitely want a repeat some time

He hit send with a smile on his face. Seconds later he got a reply.

Oh don’t worry, there will be more where that came from ;)

As he was reading it, another text came in. Kurtis.

Fuck sake Jason can you at least let me know you’re alive? I’m panicking here thinking you’ve met some fucking creep and he’s offed you.

Jason laughed a little, Kurtis always did have a flair for the dramatics.

I’m fine Jesus mom! Tonight went better than expected…but I’ll fill you in later. Lunch tomorrow?

Kurtis’ reply came straight away.

Ok good, see you should listen to me more often, I’m not just a pretty face! Meet at the cafe by mine 1pm?

He hated it when Kurtis was right, he was so smug about it. He tapped out a quick reply.

Sure see you then

He put his phone on the bedside table and curled up under the covers. He had a slightly dopey smile on his face as he closed his eyes. Danny had somehow made Jason do the impossible. After all these years he’d come to accept that he was going to pine after Matt forever. But one guy, one encounter gave Jason hope. It gave him hope that maybe this time he was going to be able to get over Matt. It was going to be an uphill struggle, he knew that, he knew it wasn’t going to happen overnight. But knowing that this time it was possible, that was enough of a comfort for Jason for now. Who knows, by the time Matt got married maybe Jason would be over him completely.

—————————————–

'You already knew him?’ Kurtis cut Jason off, almost spitting his coffee out of his mouth. Jason had thrown that fact in so casually Kurtis almost didn’t hear him.

'Yeah, I don’t think you got to meet him but we met on Spring Break. We made out a lot and then Matt scared him away.’ Jason sipped his tea and shrugged.

'Matt scared him away?’ Kurtis raised his eyebrow.

'Well we got into an argument at the club and when I turned around Danny was gone and I never saw him again. Danny says that he thought Matt was jealous but he doesn’t know what an ass Matt can be.'

'Maybe he was jealous?’ Kurtis mused, picking up a chip and dipping it in ketchup before popping it in his mouth. 'I’ve never really thought about it before but he does get kinda weird when you’re with other guys. I always thought he was just over protective of you but-’

'Kurtis.’ Jason cut him off. 'Don’t even go there. This whole speed dating thing was your idea remember? You told me I needed to get over Matt, who is straight. Any of his ringing any bells?'

'Well yeah that’s true but-’

'No.’ Jason cut him off again. 'Do not go there. I want to get over Matt. I don’t need you sitting there saying things that are going to get my hopes up.’ Jason picked at some cheese that was oozing out of his sandwich.

'Yeah, yeah sorry.’ Kurtis shook his head but Jason could tell he was still thinking about it. 'You’re right Matt’s straight, of course he is. So Danny? What happened?'

'Well we decided to ditch the speed dating after that. We went for a walk and we talked and then…’ Jason trailed off with a smirk knowing this would drive Kurtis crazy.

'Then what?’ Kurtis was wide eyed leaning on the table now, just like Jason knew he would.

'What do you think?’ Jason laughed picking at some more cheese.

'You got laid!’ Kurtis cheered with a bright smile. 'Oh thank fucking god, it’s about time.’

'Less of that.’ Jason rolled his eyes. 'But yes I got laid.’ He grinned. 'And for the first time in a long time, I didn’t think about Matt.'

'That’s great.’ Kurtis beamed. 'Are you going to see him again?'

Jason finally picked up the sandwich and took a bite, nodding at Kurtis.

'Yeah at some point. We’re gonna keep it casual though, he knows the deal with Matt and he’s not long come out of a messy relationship.’

'So you’ve got a fuck buddy?’ Kurtis smirked eating another ketchup soaked chip.

'I guess so.’ Jason chuckled. He felt pretty good about himself. Danny was hot, there was no denying that and he’d made Jason feel really fucking good.

'Well look at you.’ Kurtis smiled, reaching across the table to pinch Jason’s cheek. Jason slapped his hand away.

'What?’ He frowned.

'Just not seen you like for a while.’

'Like what?'

'Happy.’ Kurtis picked his coffee back up and held it to his lips. Jason couldn’t help but smile. He felt happy, it was a new feeling. And if Danny was the person that made him feel this way then he had to see him again.

—————————————–

Danny: I’m bored, send me a naughty pic ;)

The text came in when Jason was at work a few days later. He was sitting at his desk and he blushed as he read it but he also felt a stirring in his pants.

Jason: you’re literally seeing me in a few hours, can you not wait?

Danny: nuh uh

A few seconds after Danny’s reply came Jason received a picture message from him. Worried about other people seeing it, because he had a pretty good idea of what it might be, he opened it with his phone under his desk. Jason’s breath caught in his throat and now he definitely felt a stir in his pants. The picture was of Danny’s hard cock, his hand wrapped around the base. The caption read 'I need a hand ;)’. Jason looked around and then suddenly darted up from his desk and ran to the bathroom. Once in a cubicle he freed his now fully erect cock and started stroking himself. Another text came in.

Danny: I know you’re touching yourself Jason, at least let me see?

Jason groaned a little and didn’t even think twice when he snapped a picture of him stroking himself, his trousers and pants around his knees. He captioned it ’you are such an asshole, I’m meant to be working!' He put his phone down and continued pumping himself, biting his lip so no moans escaped his mouth. He just managed to get the toilet seat up as he expelled his load, most of it going down the toilet. He cleaned up his hand and his leg where some come had dripped and pulled his trousers back up before exiting the bathroom. He felt his cheeks flushing red as he made his way back to his desk. He felt like everyone was looking at him, like they knew somehow. He got back to his desk and he got another message.

Danny: fuck the bar, meet at your place? Need you x

Jason smiled to himself. He’d never had someone be so desperate for him before. It felt really good.

Jason: sounds good to me ;)

—————————————–

'I’ve been imaging this all day.’ Danny spoke between thrusts. He had Jason on his hands and knees on the bed and was thrusting into him hard. Jason had one hand on his own dick, roughly pumping himself.

'Me too.’ Jason panted. 'I’m gonna come though Danny.'

This made Danny thrust harder and Jason practically screamed as he came. It wasn’t long before Danny came too. He got rid of the condom and they both collapsed on the bed. Danny stroked back Jason’s hair.

'Would it freak you out if I told you you’re beautiful?’ Danny smiled at him.

'Well I mean I know that already.’ Jason chuckled. 'Why would it freak me out?'

'So modest.’ Danny laughed and kissed Jason gently. 'No reason.’ He kissed him again, running his fingers through Jason’s hair as Jason parted his lips to allow Danny’s tongue access. The kiss was passionate but softer than it had been earlier. Jason would almost call it sensual. Just then there was a knock at the apartment door. Jason groaned.

'Don’t answer it.’ Danny pulled him closer and kissed him again. The knock came again.

'I should really.’ Jason sighed. 'It might be my friend Kurtis and if I don’t answer he’ll start panicking. I swear he’s like my mom.’ Jason laughed sliding out the bed and putting his boxers back on.

'Don’t be long, I reckon I can go for round two soon.’ Danny winked at him which made Jason blush a little.

'I’ll get rid of him.’ He got to the bedroom door. 'If it is Kurtis, its better he doesn’t know you’re here, he’ll only want to meet you and then he’ll never go.'

'No problem, I’ll be quiet.’ Danny laughed. Jason closed the bedroom door behind him and made his way to the door as the knock sounded again.

'Fuck sake Kurtis would you give me a minute!’ He threw open the door but it wasn’t Kurtis staring back at him. Matt barged passed Jason into the apartment.

'Where have you been?’ He asked Jason angrily.

'Please come in.’ Jason muttered under his breath but Matt heard him.

'I’ve been worried sick about you!'

'Why?’ Jason frowned.

'Because I haven’t seen you in like a week which is weird for starters and then you put up something on Facebook about speed dating and then I don’t hear from you for days? I’ve been calling and texting Jason! I thought something had happened to you!’ Matt ranted, his voice raised.

'I’ve been busy, jeez.’ Jason rolled his eyes, folding his arms over his bare chest.

'Busy?’ Matt spat. 'You’re never too busy to talk to me usually.’ He sounded a little hurt as he said that.

'Oh god what are you, my keeper?’ Jason sighed. He’d never spoken to Matt like this before but to be perfectly honest he wanted to get rid of him. He wanted to get back to Danny.

'Excuse me?’ Matt spat again. 'What the hell is going on with you? Oh my god…’ Matt trailed off as a realisation hit him. 'You met someone didn’t you? At the speed dating?'

Jason rolled his eyes.

'So what if I did?’ He scoffed. 'It’s none of your business.’

'None of my business? I’m your best friend! I thought we told each other everything?'

'For god sake Matt you sound like a child. I would have told you, the next time I saw you or something. I mean what am I supposed to do, call you the minute a guy pulls his dick out my ass?’ Jason shook his head. Matt had a fucking nerve. Jason heard a stifled chuckle from his bedroom and he had to suppress his smile and hope Matt didn’t hear. Matt turned towards the bedroom and looked back at Jason, realising for the first time that Jason was just wearing his pants.

'He’s here now isn’t he?’ Matt’s eyes widened. Jason couldn’t hide his smirk.

'Yes as a matter of fact he is. So if you don’t mind, you’re kinda interrupting round two so…’ Jason motioned towards the door. Matt’s face noticeably paled.

'I hate this side of you.’ Matt shook his head.

'What side of me?’ Jason scoffed, what the fuck was Matt talking about?

'This side, the side that comes out when you meet someone. You’re not Jason when you’re with someone. Not the Jason I know anyway.’ He shook his head sadly and made his way towards the door. Jason grabbed his wrist a little angrily and spun him back around.

'What the fuck does that even mean?’ Jason raised his voice. He’d never raised his voice at Matt, not that he could remember anyway. Matt bit his lip.

'Doesn’t matter.’ He shook Jason off his arm and reached for the door handle. He was stopped again suddenly by the sound of Jason laughing.

'I know what this is about.’ Jason laughed and Matt turned back to him.

'What?’ Matt challenged him.

'You don’t like it when I meet someone because it takes my attention away from you. You love me being single because it means I can answer all your calls and be wherever you want me to be at the drop of a hat. You like that you can click your fingers and sad, pathetic Jason will come running. Sorry Matt, you’re going to have to find yourself a new lapdog.'

Matt looked hurt and shocked by Jason’s words. He bit his lip again and sniffed.

'You…you think that’s how I see you?'

'Yes Matt I do.’ Jason folded his arms again. If he wasn’t mistaken he swore he saw tears in Matt’s eyes.

'Wow.’ Matt croaked. 'Good to know.’ He turned back around and opened the door. As he was stepping into the hallway he turned back to Jason. 'You know what, if that’s the way you really think about me then why are we even friends? If I’m so terrible and demanding, why have you hung around all these years?’

Jason swallowed, he didn’t really have an answer to that but he wasn’t going to let Matt have the upper hand.

'I’ve been asking myself that a lot recently.’ Jason felt a small stabbing in his chest. Why was he talking to Matt like this? Did he really want to push Matt away? Maybe it was best that he did, maybe that was the only way he was going to get over this.

'Oh yeah? And what have you come up with?’ Matt raised an eyebrow at him. Jason swallowed again.

'I think that maybe…’ he couldn’t believe he was saying this. 'Maybe we grew apart a long time ago Matt. Maybe we should have drawn the line after college, gone our separate ways. I think that if it wasn’t for the others, you and I would have run our course a long time ago, and I think maybe that would have been for the best.’ Jason felt tears in his own eyes but he refused to let Matt know that. Matt looked as though Jason had just slapped him around the face.

'Really?’ He croaked. Jason bit his lip and nodded.

'Yeah really.'

'Well in that case,’ Matt sniffed. 'I’m sorry I’ve wasted so much of your time treating you like my lapdog. Don’t worry, I’m sure Jake will be happy to be my best man. Fuck, I feel like such an idiot.’ He ran his fingers through his hair. 'I guess I’ll see you around or whatever, I mean we’re still gonna have to see each other but don’t worry, we don’t have to be friends anymore.’

'Matt wait-’

'Don’t. Just don’t. You’ve said more than enough.’ Matt shook his head sadly and then slammed the door behind him. Jason let out a large sigh as he trailed back to his bedroom. Danny was under the covers sitting cross legged. Jason had almost forgotten he was there.

'Way to tell him!’ Danny beamed, pulling Jason down for a kiss. 'That asshole had it coming.’

'He’s not an asshole…’ Jason sighed. 'He’s just…I don’t know.'

'Hey, it’s ok.’ Danny cupped his face and kissed him again, sensing Jason was a little sad. 'Friends fight, it’ll be ok.'

Jason nodded and tried to shake the fight from his mind. They’d argued before, of course they had, but never like this. He hoped Danny was right though, Jason didn’t want to lose Matt completely. He couldn’t bare it if he and Matt weren’t friends, he just hoped he hadn’t done any damage that was beyond repair. His thoughts of Matt soon became distant as Danny started kissing down his neck and laying Jason back on the bed. Soon all Jason could think of was how good it felt when Danny kissed him or touched him. Matt drifted from his mind, just the way it should be.

—————————————–

I’m sorry to interrupt it’s just I’m constantly on the cusp of trying to kiss you

I don’t know if you feel the same as I do

But we could be together, if you wanted to

Straightjacket Feeling - Chp.5 (Pearlet) by Scarlet

TW - Smut and angst, that’s about it! Finally skips ahead in time after this one!

Chapter 5

Jason had been drinking all day by the time he practically fell on the bar of some club, Danny’s hands on his waist.

‘Tequila! We need tequila!’ He shouted to the bartender to be heard over the music. 'What kind of Spring Break would it be without tequila?’ He turned to say this to Danny who chuckled and pulled Jason in for a kiss. They’d done a lot of that today, kissing and drinking. Some talking, but Jason hadn’t paid much attention to that. The bartender reached across the bar and tapped Jason on the shoulder as he was busy making out with Danny. He sprung back from the other boy and gave the bartender a sheepish grin before paying him. He handed one of the shots to Danny and they necked them.

'Oh look who it is.’ Jason slurred pointing a finger at the man who had just sidled up next to them at the bar.

'Don’t start.’ Matt sighed running his fingers through his hair. 'It’s the last night of Spring Break Jason, I just want to have a good night.’

'So do I. And I don’t want you ruining it.’ He jabbed Matt in the chest. Matt caught Jason’s finger in his hand.

'Do that again, I dare you.’ Matt clenched his jaw. He saw Jason swallow as though he was scared but he shook it off and when Matt let go of his finger he jabbed him again with a smirk.

'What you gonna do about it?’ Jason challenged him.

'What the fuck has gotten into you?’ Matt shook his head. 'This isn’t you Jason, I don’t like this side of you.’

'What do I care if you like it or not?’ He scoffed. 'I didn’t think you even liked me anyway. I mean obviously I’m so inadequate you forgot my kiss the second it happened.’

Matt’s face fell and he frowned a little.

'That’s what this is about? Jason I didn’t mean that, it was just a dumb comment.’

'Don’t care.’ Jason shrugged. 'It’s not like it meant anything to me either.’ He turned back to Danny to see the space he’d been standing in was empty. He looked around but Danny was nowhere to be seen. 'Look what you’ve done!’ He poked Matt again, harder this time. 'Fuck sake you scared him away.’

'I think you did that all on your own.’ Matt rolled his eyes. He went to walk away because he didn’t want to argue with Jason but Jason grabbed his wrist to stop him.

'I was on to a sure thing! I was definitely going to get laid tonight and you scared him off!’ He yelled at Matt.

’Get laid?' Matt repeated his words. He’d never heard Jason talk like that before. 'Who the fuck are you and what have you done to my best friend?'

'Fuck you.’ Jason spat and this time he turned to leave. He didn’t realise Matt was following him until he got outside and he called after him.

'Jason, where are you going?’

'Away from you.’ Jason yelled back, marching as fast as he could. Matt sighed and picked up his pace to a jog to catch up with the younger boy and when he did, he grabbed his shoulders. Jason turned to look at him, his nostrils flared.

'Please Jason stop acting like this. I hate that we’re fighting. I thought this week was going to be amazing, Spring Break with my best friends, the last big college blowout. But I’ve spent the whole week walking on egg shells and being ignored by you and when you finally do talk to me we fight. Please, let’s just stop this ok? Let’s have one last good night.'

'You hurt me.’ Jason sniffed, his anger being replaced by sadness. Matt’s face fell as he saw Jason’s lip quiver. 'You hurt me when you said you forgot about the kiss ok? You really fucking hurt me. And I didn’t know how to tell you that so I just pretended not to care and I thought being an asshole would make it easier somehow.’ Jason bit his bottom lip, desperate not to cry. Matt bit his bottom lip too. He hadn’t meant to hurt Jason; that was the last thing he ever wanted to do.

'Jason, I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean it, I just panicked I guess.’ He put his hands on Jason’s shoulders as if he were afraid he would run away again. 'The truth is I freaked ok? That kiss it was…it was fucking incredible and that scared the shit out of me because I’ve never thought about another man in that way before. Especially not one who is such a good friend. It scared me how much I enjoyed it though, I didn’t know how to process that.'

'You…you enjoyed it?’ Jason stuttered, seemingly a lot more sober.

'I uhm…’ Matt was going into panic mode again. He wasn’t sure he’d meant to say that. Suddenly he let go of Jason and started running down the beach. 'Last one to the water buys gas all the way home!’ He yelled over his shoulder. Jason just stared at the boy as he ran, kicking his shoes off. Matt was hard work sometimes. Matt stripped off his t-shirt and shorts as he ran and then he was crashing into the water. Jason slowly made his way across the sand to the water’s edge. He put his hands on his hips as he looked at Matt, waist deep in the sea.

'What are you doing?’ Jason raised an eyebrow at him.

'Swimming, what does it look like?'

'Why?’ Jason shook his head.

'The waters lovely.’ Matt smiled softly. Diversion tactic Jason thought.

'Get out.’ Jason told him sternly.

'No way!'

'Matt come on.’

'Give me three good reasons why I should.’

'I’m not playing games Matt.’ Jason sighed. This night was taking a strange turn.

'Give me three good reasons and I’ll get out. But if you can’t, you have to come in.'

Jason rolled his eyes. Maybe if he just gave him the reasons then this would be over faster.

'Fine. 1 it’s late and I’m tired but I can’t very well leave you here. 2 I’m pretty sure it’s dangerous to swim when you’ve been drinking. And 3…’ Jason trailed off. The moonlight was illuminating Matt’s wet, bare torso in the most perfect way. His eyes were shining. He was half naked and he was wet and Jason suddenly didn’t think he wanted to come up with a third reason.

'Not got a third?’ Matt smirked.

'No.’ Jason croaked and then as though he were possessed he stripped down to his boxers and waded into the sea, his eyes locked on Matt’s the whole time. He came close to the older boy, the water lapping around his hips. Matt was smiling at him as his eyes trailed down Jason’s torso.

'When did you get your nipple pierced?’ He asked, making Jason look down at his chest.

'I’ve had it done for years.’ He shrugged. He saw Matt bite his lip. Matt came even closer to him and then his hand was on Jason’s bun, pulling his hair band out and freeing his hair.

'Better.’ Matt smiled as Jason shook his hair out.

'You liked it when I kissed you. You said so yourself. You can’t pretend you didn’t say it.’ Jason found himself blurting out. He saw Matt blush, he didn’t think he’d ever see Matt blush.

'Yeah I did.’ Matt whispered. 'But that scares me.’

'Just embrace the fear.’ Jason smiled stepping even closer so their wet bodies were now touching. He could feel that Matt was hard. 'You want me, don’t you Matt?’ He breathed, Matt felt his hot breath on his face. He bit his lip and shyly nodded.

'More than I’ve ever wanted anyone in my entire life.'

'Then show me. Show me how much you want me.’ Jason challenged him and before he knew what was happening Matt closed his eyes, angled his head up a little and then his lips met Jason’s. Jason pulled Matt close, wrapping his arms around the older boy’s neck. Matt held onto Jason’s small waist. They were both hard and they could both feel the other’s erection as the kiss grew heated.

'Take me back to your room.’ Matt panted into Jason’s mouth.

'Are you sure?'

'Yes, yes please god.'

Jason didn’t need asking twice. He kissed Matt one last time and then took hold of his hand. They waded out the sea and grabbed up their clothes running back to the hotel dripping wet and in their pants but neither of them cared. Once in Jason’s room they fell to the bed, Matt on top. His lips were on Jason’s straight away, picking right back up where they left off. Jason hooked his fingers in the waistband of Matt’s pants and started peeling the wet material back from his skin. Matt sat back briefly so he could get them off and he helped Jason out of his too.

'I’ve never done this before Jason, you might need to help me out.’ He told the younger boy as he started trailing kisses down his neck, making Jason gasp.

'You said you’d done that with a girl though right?’ Jason panted as Matt’s lips moved lower.

'Uhm well, kind of.’ Matt sat back a little and Jason noticed he was blushing. 'We kind of tried but she said it hurt and it didn’t really go very well.'

'It’s ok, I’ve had experience.’ Jason chuckled. 'It’s all about the preparation.’ He pulled Matt down for another kiss to try and ease his nerves. He could tell the older boy was trying to ease himself into but he could also tell he was still nervous.

'Matt?’ Jason paused the kiss and stroked his cheek. 'Are you sure you want to do this? Because if you’re unsure we don’t have to.’ God Jason didn’t want to talk him out of this but he didn’t want Matt to be uncomfortable. Matt silenced him with another kiss.

'I want this Jason. Trust me.’ His hands were wandering down Jason’s body, playing with his nipple ring, stroking his stomach. Jason wanted to take this slow and let Matt get used to what was happening. They made out for a long while, their hard dicks rubbing together as Jason couldn’t stop himself rolling his hips every so often, desperate for as much contact as possible. Each time he did so Matt would gasp and moan into his mouth. Jason ran his hands over Matt’s spine, gradually getting lower until he was cupping Matt’s ass. He gave it a firm squeeze, he’d imagined hundreds of time what that ass would feel like and it didn’t disappoint. Matt held Jason’s face as their tongues danced together, finding a good rhythm.

'I need you Jason.’ Matt panted kissing his lips gently.

'Ok.’ Jason croaked, starting to feel a little overwhelmed by what was happening. He excused himself to get up and rummage in his suitcase and he came back with a small bottle of lube of and a condom. Matt smirked as he laid on top of Jason and kissed him again.

'Carry those everywhere do you?’ He teased making Jason blush.

'You can never be too prepared.’ He instructed Matt to sit up so Jason could have some room. He didn’t want to overwhelm Matt and have him attempt to open him up so he was going to open himself up. Matt knelt at the end of the bed and watched in awe as Jason slicked up his own his finger with the lube and then trailed them down his body and between his legs. He pressed his fingers to the outside of his hole and felt himself blushing.

'This feels weird having someone watching.’ He bit his lip suddenly shy. Matt reached and stroked Jason’s thigh.

'Please? I want to watch.’ He begged a little and that was all Jason needed to hear before he slid two fingers inside himself. He gasped and so did Matt just at the sight of it. Jason closed his eyes, he’d never done this in front of anyone before, this was the kind of thing he did behind closed doors and he felt a little awkward. He immediately started scissoring himself, he need Matt so badly and a part of him was worried that Matt might change his mind if this took too long. He was moaning softly and panting as he opened up his hole. As he inserted a third finger he felt a hand wrap around his shaft and his eyes shot open to see Matt slowly start pumping him, using his other hand to pump himself.

'This is so fucking hot Jay.’ Matt panted biting his bottom lip. Jason felt himself blushing and he also felt like his body was on fire. Between the feeling of his own fingers inside him and Matt’s strong hand wrapped around his dick stroking him, Jason was a mess.

'I can’t wait any longer Matt.’ Jason told him desperately. He removed his fingers from his hole and pulled Matt down into a sloppy kiss. When Matt sat back Jason ripped open the condom wrapper and slowly slid it over Matt’s length making the older boy gasp. Jason picked the lube back up and coated Matt’s dick with the liquid before slathering some to the outside of his hole. He pulled Matt back down and kissed him more softly now.

'Are you ready?’ Jason whispered.

'Fuck yes.’ Matt said but the confidence was missing from his voice. He positioned himself so the head of his cock was pressing to the outside of Jason’s hole and Jason wrapped his legs around his best friend’s waist. Matt took hold of Jason’s hips and Jason swore he saw his hands were shaking. Matt swallowed hard and cautiously he started pushing inside Jason. Jason gasped at the sensation, he hadn’t exactly been with a lot of men and Matt was pretty well hung. Matt gasped too as his dick disappeared inside Jason. He was so tight and warm it was almost enough to push him over the edge. He didn’t move right away, he paused to get used to the sensation. Jason raised his hand and cupped Matt’s face.

'Is everything ok?’ He whispered, not being able to gauge what Matt was thinking. Matt bit his lip and nodded.

'You’re just so fucking tight, I needed to compose myself so I didn’t blow my load.’ Matt blushed and Jason couldn’t help but smile. He hooked his hand around the back of Matt’s neck and pulled him close so he could attack his lips with a passionate kiss.

'Whenever you’re ready Matt, there’s no rush.’ He whispered and nibbled Matt’s bottom lip lightly making the older boy hiss. He took a few deep breaths before he slowly started moving in and out. Both boys gasped simultaneously at the feeling. Matt gripped Jason’s hips tightly and the younger boy arched his back to allow Matt’s dick full access to his hole. His thrusts were slow at first as he got used to the feeling but it wasn’t long before his lust took over and he picked up his pace. Jason moaned really deeply as Matt found his prostrate.

'Oh fuck Matt, yes right there!’ He pulled him down for another kiss, it was messier this time as the pleasure washed over him. Matt continued to thrust in and out as Jason reached between their still damp bodies and wrapped his hand around his own dick and started pumping himself, trying to match Matt’s thrusts. Matt continued tapping Jason’s bundle of nerves and Jason’s head was a mess. He used his free hand to reach around and grab Matt’s ass firmly. Matt gasped loudly and bit Jason’s neck.

'Fuck Jay, this is embarrassing but I’m gonna come soon.’ He panted.

'Me too.’ Jason groaned, picking up his pace on his dick. Matt thrust harder a few more times before he couldn’t take anymore and balls exploded and he moaned deeply as he came, harder than he ever had before. Jason kissed him again and it only took a few more pumps and Jason was coming too, covering them both in his load. Matt fell on top of him, not caring about Jason’s come covering his body. He placed lethargic kisses on Jason’s neck. He laid there until he caught his breath and then he slowly pulled out and disposed of the condom. He rolled onto his side and Jason rolled his head on the pillow to look at him.

'Are you ok?’ Jason asked Matt softly, a little concerned about what happened now. Matt responded by stroking Jason’s cheek and kissing him gently.

'I’m more than ok.’ He smiled sleepily. Jason kissed him one more time before forcing himself up from the bed. Matt whimpered a little.

'Where are you going?'

'I’ll be two seconds.’ Jason chuckled a little. He went to the bathroom, his legs shaking a little as he walked. That had been the most incredible orgasm he’d ever experienced. He grabbed some tissue and returned to the bed and wiped down Matt’s stomach where Jason had covered him in come and then cleaned himself off too. Once he’d discarded the rubbish he settled back into the bed and Matt wrapped his strong arms around him. Jason sighed in content as he laid his head on Matt’s chest and he felt Matt placing delicate kisses in his hair. Jason felt his eyes growing heavy. He had a small smile on his lips. He felt like he’d waited an eternity for this. He felt happy and safe in Matt’s strong hold, maybe for the first time in his life.

'Thank you.’ He found himself whispering.

'For what?’ Matt gave him a squeeze.

'For just being you.’ Jason mumbled and then he fell into a deep and peaceful sleep.

—————————————–

The next morning Jason awoke with a smile on his face. Last night had taken a completely unexpected turn and he still couldn’t believe his luck. He rolled over in the bed and reached for Matt, maybe they could have a repeat performance of last night? But as Jason stretched his arm across the bed he was met by nothing but cold sheets. He blinked his eyes a few times as though he didn’t believe the bed was really empty but it was. His heart immediately sank. The sheets were too cold for Matt to have just gone to the bathroom. He already knew. He should have probably known last night. This was a one night stand; a drunken hook up. He sat up in the bed feeling tears immediately begin to flood his eyes. How could he be so fucking stupid? The piece of paper on the bedside table caught his eye. His hand was shaking as he reached for it. The first tear fell when he saw what was scrawled on the note. It read: Sorry, M. That was it. He’d run out on him without so much as a word and he thought that was an acceptable note? Jason’s sadness suddenly turned to anger. Was that all he was worth? Two fucking words, one of which wasn’t even a word. He hadn’t even been bothered to sign his name! Jason balled the paper up in his hand and let out a frustrated scream as he threw it across the room. He wiped his tears away on the duvet; he was too angry to cry. They were supposed to be best friends for fuck sake, did Matt not think Jason at least deserved an explanation? Sure it would hurt to hear Matt tell him it was a mistake and it shouldn’t have happened but he would rather the truth than some half assed note and a disappearing act. He jumped out of bed and threw last night’s clothes back on that were on the bedroom floor. Then he grabbed his key and his phone and he marched from the room down the hall. He knocked on Matt’s door heavily.

'Matt you better answer this fucking door right now, or I swear to god-’

'Everything ok?’ Bri emerged from the room next door, clearly hearing he commotion. Jason stopped banging on Matt’s door.

'Do you know where Matt is?’

'He text Brian this morning and said he was going to be by the pool. What’s going on Jason you look-?’

'Thanks.’ Jason cut him off and he stormed away towards the pool.

Matt was in just a pair of swimming trunks with his sunglasses over his eyes. He had a drink in his hand. Jake and Roxy were occupying the beds next to him. Jason marched over to him and stood right over Matt’s bed. Matt groaned a little and lifted his sunglasses up.

'Morning.’ He croaked, clearly ignoring Jason’s demeanour.

'We need to talk.’ Jason clenched his jaw.

'Not now Jay, my head is banging.’

'Yes now.’ Jason spat. He grabbed Matt’s wrist and tugged him upwards and the older boy groaned. Jason dragged him away from their friends to a quieter spot on the other side of the pool.

’Sorry M? Really Matt? Fucking really?’ Jason spat the second they were alone. Matt sighed and rolled his eyes.

'I’m not talking about this now Jason.’ Matt ran his fingers through his hair.

'You fucking well are talking about this now. Listen to me for fuck sakes!’ He shoved Matt’s arm when Matt’s eyes started glazing over telling Jason he’d switched off.

'No.’ Matt suddenly spat. 'You listen to me. This is not the fucking time or place ok Jason? We are not getting into this now.’

'I don’t fucking care Matt! We need to talk about this, this isn’t ok!’

'Not now.’ Matt clenched his jaw and spat the words so menacingly at Jason it made the younger boy a little scared. 'Just not fucking now.’ The look in Matt’s eyes wasn’t a look Jason had seen on him before. It was anger mixed with something else. Hate maybe? Whatever it was it told Jason all he needed to know. Last night wasn’t just a mistake to Matt; it had ruined their friendship. As Jason watched Matt skulk away back over to Jake and Roxy he knew this was it for them. In one night they had ruined everything. They weren’t going to get passed this, or at least Matt wasn’t. He was going to graduate soon and that was going to be the end of them. Jason felt his heart shatter into two at that moment. He’d lost the love of his life and his best friend in one fell swoop. Talk about a rough night. He felt tears forming in his eyes again as he pulled his cell phone from his pocket and made a call. It rang three times.

'Hi mom, it’s me. Could I please borrow some money? I’m in Florida and I need a flight back to New York desperately.’ He told her, trying to keep his tears at bay. All the while Matt’s words kept swimming around his head. Not now. Just not fucking now.

Straightjacket Feeling - Pearlet [Chapter 5]

This is something I worte AGES and AGES ago. Last chapter set in college. Kinda based on on ‘Do I Wanna Know’ by the Artic Monkeys. Chp includes smut and angst.

Chapter 5

Jason had been drinking all day by the time he practically fell on the bar of some club, Danny's hands on his waist.

'Tequila! We need tequila!' He shouted to the bartender to be heard over the music. 'What kind of Spring Break would it be without tequila?' He turned to say this to Danny who chuckled and pulled Jason in for a kiss. They'd done a lot of that today, kissing and drinking. Some talking, but Jason hadn't paid much attention to that. The bartender reached across the bar and tapped Jason on the shoulder as he was busy making out with Danny. He sprung back from the other boy and gave the bartender a sheepish grin before paying him. He handed one of the shots to Danny and they necked them. 

'Oh look who it is.' Jason slurred pointing a finger at the man who had just sidled up next to them at the bar. 

'Don't start.' Matt sighed running his fingers through his hair. 'It's the last night of Spring Break Jason, I just want to have a good night.'

'So do I. And I don't want you ruining it.' He jabbed Matt in the chest. Matt caught Jason's finger in his hand.

'Do that again, I dare you.' Matt clenched his jaw. He saw Jason swallow as though he was scared but he shook it off and when Matt let go of his finger he jabbed him again with a smirk.

'What you gonna do about it?' Jason challenged him.

'What the fuck has gotten into you?' Matt shook his head. 'This isn't you Jason, I don't like this side of you.'

'What do I care if you like it or not?' He scoffed. 'I didn't think you even liked me anyway. I mean obviously I'm so inadequate you forgot my kiss the second it happened.'

Matt's face fell and he frowned a little.

'That's what this is about? Jason I didn't mean that, it was just a dumb comment.'

'Don't care.' Jason shrugged. 'It's not like it meant anything to me either.' He turned back to Danny to see the space he'd been standing in was empty. He looked around but Danny was nowhere to be seen. 'Look what you've done!' He poked Matt again, harder this time. 'Fuck sake you scared him away.'

'I think you did that all on your own.' Matt rolled his eyes. He went to walk away because he didn't want to argue with Jason but Jason grabbed his wrist to stop him.

'I was on to a sure thing! I was definitely going to get laid tonight and you scared him off!' He yelled at Matt. 

'Get laid?' Matt repeated his words. He'd never heard Jason talk like that before. 'Who the fuck are you and what have you done to my best friend?' 

'Fuck you.' Jason spat and this time he turned to leave. He didn't realise Matt was following him until he got outside and he called after him.

'Jason, where are you going?'

'Away from you.' Jason yelled back, marching as fast as he could. Matt sighed and picked up his pace to a jog to catch up with the younger boy and when he did, he grabbed his shoulders. Jason turned to look at him, his nostrils flared.

'Please Jason stop acting like this. I hate that we're fighting. I thought this week was going to be amazing, Spring Break with my best friends, the last big college blowout. But I've spent the whole week walking on egg shells and being ignored by you and when you finally do talk to me we fight. Please, let's just stop this ok? Let's have one last good night.' 

'You hurt me.' Jason sniffed, his anger being replaced by sadness. Matt's face fell as he saw Jason's lip quiver. 'You hurt me when you said you forgot about the kiss ok? You really fucking hurt me. And I didn't know how to tell you that so I just pretended not to care and I thought being an asshole would make it easier somehow.' Jason bit his bottom lip, desperate not to cry. Matt bit his bottom lip too. He hadn't meant to hurt Jason; that was the last thing he ever wanted to do. 

'Jason, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean it, I just panicked I guess.' He put his hands on Jason's shoulders as if he were afraid he would run away again. 'The truth is I freaked ok? That kiss it was...it was fucking incredible and that scared the shit out of me because I've never thought about another man in that way before. Especially not one who is such a good friend. It scared me how much I enjoyed it though, I didn't know how to process that.' 

'You...you enjoyed it?' Jason stuttered, seemingly a lot more sober. 

'I uhm...' Matt was going into panic mode again. He wasn't sure he'd meant to say that. Suddenly he let go of Jason and started running down the beach. 'Last one to the water buys gas all the way home!' He yelled over his shoulder. Jason just stared at the boy as he ran, kicking his shoes off. Matt was hard work sometimes. Matt stripped off his t-shirt and shorts as he ran and then he was crashing into the water. Jason slowly made his way across the sand to the water’s edge. He put his hands on his hips as he looked at Matt, waist deep in the sea.

'What are you doing?' Jason raised an eyebrow at him.

'Swimming, what does it look like?' 

'Why?' Jason shook his head.

'The waters lovely.' Matt smiled softly. Diversion tactic Jason thought. 

'Get out.' Jason told him sternly.

'No way!' 

'Matt come on.'

'Give me three good reasons why I should.'

'I'm not playing games Matt.' Jason sighed. This night was taking a strange turn.

'Give me three good reasons and I'll get out. But if you can't, you have to come in.' 

Jason rolled his eyes. Maybe if he just gave him the reasons then this would be over faster.

'Fine. 1 it's late and I'm tired but I can't very well leave you here. 2 I'm pretty sure it's dangerous to swim when you've been drinking. And 3...' Jason trailed off. The moonlight was illuminating Matt's wet, bare torso in the most perfect way. His eyes were shining. He was half naked and he was wet and Jason suddenly didn't think he wanted to come up with a third reason.

'Not got a third?' Matt smirked.

'No.' Jason croaked and then as though he were possessed he stripped down to his boxers and waded into the sea, his eyes locked on Matt's the whole time. He came close to the older boy, the water lapping around his hips. Matt was smiling at him as his eyes trailed down Jason's torso.

'When did you get your nipple pierced?' He asked, making Jason look down at his chest.

'I've had it done for years.' He shrugged. He saw Matt bite his lip. Matt came even closer to him and then his hand was on Jason's bun, pulling his hair band out and freeing his hair. 

'Better.' Matt smiled as Jason shook his hair out.

'You liked it when I kissed you. You said so yourself. You can't pretend you didn't say it.' Jason found himself blurting out. He saw Matt blush, he didn't think he'd ever see Matt blush.

'Yeah I did.' Matt whispered. 'But that scares me.'

'Just embrace the fear.' Jason smiled stepping even closer so their wet bodies were now touching. He could feel that Matt was hard. 'You want me, don't you Matt?' He breathed, Matt felt his hot breath on his face. He bit his lip and shyly nodded.

'More than I've ever wanted anyone in my entire life.' 

'Then show me. Show me how much you want me.' Jason challenged him and before he knew what was happening Matt closed his eyes, angled his head up a little and then his lips met Jason's. Jason pulled Matt close, wrapping his arms around the older boy’s neck. Matt held onto Jason's small waist. They were both hard and they could both feel the other's erection as the kiss grew heated. 

'Take me back to your room.' Matt panted into Jason's mouth.

'Are you sure?' 

'Yes, yes please god.' 

Jason didn't need asking twice. He kissed Matt one last time and then took hold of his hand. They waded out the sea and grabbed up their clothes running back to the hotel dripping wet and in their pants but neither of them cared. Once in Jason's room they fell to the bed, Matt on top. His lips were on Jason's straight away, picking right back up where they left off. Jason hooked his fingers in the waistband of Matt's pants and started peeling the wet material back from his skin. Matt sat back briefly so he could get them off and he helped Jason out of his too.

'I've never done this before Jason, you might need to help me out.' He told the younger boy as he started trailing kisses down his neck, making Jason gasp. 

'You said you'd done that with a girl though right?' Jason panted as Matt's lips moved lower. 

'Uhm well, kind of.' Matt sat back a little and Jason noticed he was blushing. 'We kind of tried but she said it hurt and it didn't really go very well.' 

'It's ok, I've had experience.' Jason chuckled. 'It's all about the preparation.' He pulled Matt down for another kiss to try and ease his nerves. He could tell the older boy was trying to ease himself into but he could also tell he was still nervous. 

'Matt?' Jason paused the kiss and stroked his cheek. 'Are you sure you want to do this? Because if you're unsure we don't have to.' God Jason didn't want to talk him out of this but he didn't want Matt to be uncomfortable. Matt silenced him with another kiss.

'I want this Jason. Trust me.' His hands were wandering down Jason's body, playing with his nipple ring, stroking his stomach. Jason wanted to take this slow and let Matt get used to what was happening. They made out for a long while, their hard dicks rubbing together as Jason couldn't stop himself rolling his hips every so often, desperate for as much contact as possible. Each time he did so Matt would gasp and moan into his mouth. Jason ran his hands over Matt's spine, gradually getting lower until he was cupping Matt's ass. He gave it a firm squeeze, he'd imagined hundreds of time what that ass would feel like and it didn't disappoint. Matt held Jason's face as their tongues danced together, finding a good rhythm. 

'I need you Jason.' Matt panted kissing his lips gently.

'Ok.' Jason croaked, starting to feel a little overwhelmed by what was happening. He excused himself to get up and rummage in his suitcase and he came back with a small bottle of lube of and a condom. Matt smirked as he laid on top of Jason and kissed him again.

'Carry those everywhere do you?' He teased making Jason blush.

'You can never be too prepared.' He instructed Matt to sit up so Jason could have some room. He didn't want to overwhelm Matt and have him attempt to open him up so he was going to open himself up. Matt knelt at the end of the bed and watched in awe as Jason slicked up his own his finger with the lube and then trailed them down his body and between his legs. He pressed his fingers to the outside of his hole and felt himself blushing.

'This feels weird having someone watching.' He bit his lip suddenly shy. Matt reached and stroked Jason's thigh. 

'Please? I want to watch.' He begged a little and that was all Jason needed to hear before he slid two fingers inside himself. He gasped and so did Matt just at the sight of it. Jason closed his eyes, he'd never done this in front of anyone before, this was the kind of thing he did behind closed doors and he felt a little awkward. He immediately started scissoring himself, he need Matt so badly and a part of him was worried that Matt might change his mind if this took too long. He was moaning softly and panting as he opened up his hole. As he inserted a third finger he felt a hand wrap around his shaft and his eyes shot open to see Matt slowly start pumping him, using his other hand to pump himself. 

'This is so fucking hot Jay.' Matt panted biting his bottom lip. Jason felt himself blushing and he also felt like his body was on fire. Between the feeling of his own fingers inside him and Matt's strong hand wrapped around his dick stroking him, Jason was a mess.

'I can't wait any longer Matt.' Jason told him desperately. He removed his fingers from his hole and pulled Matt down into a sloppy kiss. When Matt sat back Jason ripped open the condom wrapper and slowly slid it over Matt's length making the older boy gasp. Jason picked the lube back up and coated Matt's dick with the liquid before slathering some to the outside of his hole. He pulled Matt back down and kissed him more softly now.

'Are you ready?' Jason whispered.

'Fuck yes.' Matt said but the confidence was missing from his voice. He positioned himself so the head of his cock was pressing to the outside of Jason's hole and Jason wrapped his legs around his best friend’s waist. Matt took hold of Jason's hips and Jason swore he saw his hands were shaking. Matt swallowed hard and cautiously he started pushing inside Jason. Jason gasped at the sensation, he hadn't exactly been with a lot of men and Matt was pretty well hung. Matt gasped too as his dick disappeared inside Jason. He was so tight and warm it was almost enough to push him over the edge. He didn't move right away, he paused to get used to the sensation. Jason raised his hand and cupped Matt's face.

'Is everything ok?' He whispered, not being able to gauge what Matt was thinking. Matt bit his lip and nodded.

'You're just so fucking tight, I needed to compose myself so I didn't blow my load.' Matt blushed and Jason couldn't help but smile. He hooked his hand around the back of Matt's neck and pulled him close so he could attack his lips with a passionate kiss. 

'Whenever you're ready Matt, there's no rush.' He whispered and nibbled Matt's bottom lip lightly making the older boy hiss. He took a few deep breaths before he slowly started moving in and out. Both boys gasped simultaneously at the feeling. Matt gripped Jason's hips tightly and the younger boy arched his back to allow Matt's dick full access to his hole. His thrusts were slow at first as he got used to the feeling but it wasn't long before his lust took over and he picked up his pace. Jason moaned really deeply as Matt found his prostrate.

'Oh fuck Matt, yes right there!' He pulled him down for another kiss, it was messier this time as the pleasure washed over him. Matt continued to thrust in and out as Jason reached between their still damp bodies and wrapped his hand around his own dick and started pumping himself, trying to match Matt's thrusts. Matt continued tapping Jason's bundle of nerves and Jason's head was a mess. He used his free hand to reach around and grab Matt's ass firmly. Matt gasped loudly and bit Jason's neck.

'Fuck Jay, this is embarrassing but I'm gonna come soon.' He panted. 

'Me too.' Jason groaned, picking up his pace on his dick. Matt thrust harder a few more times before he couldn't take anymore and balls exploded and he moaned deeply as he came, harder than he ever had before. Jason kissed him again and it only took a few more pumps and Jason was coming too, covering them both in his load. Matt fell on top of him, not caring about Jason's come covering his body. He placed lethargic kisses on Jason's neck. He laid there until he caught his breath and then he slowly pulled out and disposed of the condom. He rolled onto his side and Jason rolled his head on the pillow to look at him.

'Are you ok?' Jason asked Matt softly, a little concerned about what happened now. Matt responded by stroking Jason's cheek and kissing him gently.

'I'm more than ok.' He smiled sleepily. Jason kissed him one more time before forcing himself up from the bed. Matt whimpered a little.

'Where are you going?' 

'I'll be two seconds.' Jason chuckled a little. He went to the bathroom, his legs shaking a little as he walked. That had been the most incredible orgasm he'd ever experienced. He grabbed some tissue and returned to the bed and wiped down Matt's stomach where Jason had covered him in come and then cleaned himself off too. Once he'd discarded the rubbish he settled back into the bed and Matt wrapped his strong arms around him. Jason sighed in content as he laid his head on Matt's chest and he felt Matt placing delicate kisses in his hair. Jason felt his eyes growing heavy. He had a small smile on his lips. He felt like he'd waited an eternity for this. He felt happy and safe in Matt's strong hold, maybe for the first time in his life. 

'Thank you.' He found himself whispering.

'For what?' Matt gave him a squeeze.

'For just being you.' Jason mumbled and then he fell into a deep and peaceful sleep.

 -----------------------------------------

 The next morning Jason awoke with a smile on his face. Last night had taken a completely unexpected turn and he still couldn't believe his luck. He rolled over in the bed and reached for Matt, maybe they could have a repeat performance of last night? But as Jason stretched his arm across the bed he was met by nothing but cold sheets. He blinked his eyes a few times as though he didn't believe the bed was really empty but it was. His heart immediately sank. The sheets were too cold for Matt to have just gone to the bathroom. He already knew. He should have probably known last night. This was a one night stand; a drunken hook up. He sat up in the bed feeling tears immediately begin to flood his eyes. How could he be so fucking stupid? The piece of paper on the bedside table caught his eye. His hand was shaking as he reached for it. The first tear fell when he saw what was scrawled on the note. It read: Sorry, M. That was it. He'd run out on him without so much as a word and he thought that was an acceptable note? Jason's sadness suddenly turned to anger. Was that all he was worth? Two fucking words, one of which wasn't even a word. He hadn't even been bothered to sign his name! Jason balled the paper up in his hand and let out a frustrated scream as he threw it across the room. He wiped his tears away on the duvet; he was too angry to cry. They were supposed to be best friends for fuck sake, did Matt not think Jason at least deserved an explanation? Sure it would hurt to hear Matt tell him it was a mistake and it shouldn't have happened but he would rather the truth than some half assed note and a disappearing act. He jumped out of bed and threw last night’s clothes back on that were on the bedroom floor. Then he grabbed his key and his phone and he marched from the room down the hall. He knocked on Matt's door heavily. 

'Matt you better answer this fucking door right now, or I swear to god-'

'Everything ok?' Bri emerged from the room next door, clearly hearing he commotion. Jason stopped banging on Matt's door.

'Do you know where Matt is?'

'He text Brian this morning and said he was going to be by the pool. What's going on Jason you look-?'

'Thanks.' Jason cut him off and he stormed away towards the pool.

 Matt was in just a pair of swimming trunks with his sunglasses over his eyes. He had a drink in his hand. Jake and Roxy were occupying the beds next to him. Jason marched over to him and stood right over Matt's bed. Matt groaned a little and lifted his sunglasses up.

'Morning.' He croaked, clearly ignoring Jason's demeanour. 

'We need to talk.' Jason clenched his jaw.

'Not now Jay, my head is banging.'

'Yes now.' Jason spat. He grabbed Matt's wrist and tugged him upwards and the older boy groaned. Jason dragged him away from their friends to a quieter spot on the other side of the pool.

'Sorry M? Really Matt? Fucking really?' Jason spat the second they were alone. Matt sighed and rolled his eyes.

'I'm not talking about this now Jason.' Matt ran his fingers through his hair.

'You fucking well are talking about this now. Listen to me for fuck sakes!' He shoved Matt's arm when Matt's eyes started glazing over telling Jason he'd switched off.

'No.' Matt suddenly spat. 'You listen to me. This is not the fucking time or place ok Jason? We are not getting into this now.'

'I don't fucking care Matt! We need to talk about this, this isn't ok!'

'Not now.' Matt clenched his jaw and spat the words so menacingly at Jason it made the younger boy a little scared. 'Just not fucking now.' The look in Matt's eyes wasn't a look Jason had seen on him before. It was anger mixed with something else. Hate maybe? Whatever it was it told Jason all he needed to know. Last night wasn't just a mistake to Matt; it had ruined their friendship. As Jason watched Matt skulk away back over to Jake and Roxy he knew this was it for them. In one night they had ruined everything. They weren't going to get passed this, or at least Matt wasn't. He was going to graduate soon and that was going to be the end of them. Jason felt his heart shatter into two at that moment. He'd lost the love of his life and his best friend in one fell swoop. Talk about a rough night. He felt tears forming in his eyes again as he pulled his cell phone from his pocket and made a call. It rang three times.

'Hi mom, it's me. Could I please borrow some money? I'm in Florida and I need a flight back to New York desperately.' He told her, trying to keep his tears at bay. All the while Matt's words kept swimming around his head. Not now. Just not fucking now.