#I hadn't been able to focus on my wips
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jan 2019 pleak 🙏
WIP asks but it's just the various sections of my happy (???) beville (/angsty carraville) WIP
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January, 2019.
“Ugh, Carragher invited me to his birthday party.”
David looks up at Gary over his glasses, does a pretend gasp. “Your friend invited you to a party? Someone call the fuckin’ press, this sounds like the start of a national crisis.”
“Oh shush, you. D'you think I actually 'ave to go?"
"He's turning forty, ain't he? That's a big'un."
Gary hates parties. He hates Liverpool. He hates parties in Liverpool, or he will once he's actually attended one.
He remembers the Carragher convoy at international tournaments, knows they'll be out 'til the early hours of the next morning, which means that he'll have to be out 'til the early hours because he's never in his life left a party early and he's not about to start now. Which means that he won't be able to drive home at the end, which means that he'll have to stay in Liverpool overnight, and this is sounding worse and worse by the second.
"Don't suppose you fancy comin' along too?" he asks David, because why should he have to suffer alone?
David, because he is much more of a miserable bastard than people give him credit for, hums and says "can't, I'll be in London."
"I've not told you when it is yet, you twat."
"Whenever it is, I guarantee there will be very urgent business I need to attend to. In London."
"You're not very nice."
"Oi! I am delightful."
*
Just close friends and family, Jamie had said.
Gary's yet to see anyone at this fucking party that's not related to Jamie somehow. He's not sure what Jamie would qualify as a 'close friend', but it can't be too tight a group if he counts Gary among them. He'd been expecting to see Stevie, at least. Jamie's an antisocial prick who tends to rub people the wrong way but Stevie's managed to stick it out all these years, and Glasgow's not that far away.
But two hours in and there's nobody else from football there.
He'd chatted to Jamie's dad for a while, reminisced about Big Nev - a unifying power if ever there was one. Gary's not sure he's ever met someone that knew his father who hadn't loved him. He's caught up with Nicola, entertained Jamie's kids - or tried to, as much as you can with two spoilt unimpressed teenagers.
He's starting to run out of ways to pass the time, and the party's still going strong.
There's not been much opportunity to speak to Jamie, not properly. Not that he's got much to say - he'd seen him at work just a couple of days ago, and they text pretty much every day anyway. And it's not like he's brought him a present, or even a card, so he doesn't actually have a reason to pull him away from his friends.
The more he drinks, the harder it gets to parse the Scouse screeches of the other guests into recognisable words, so he grabs a can of coke and goes to hide in the bathroom for a bit, decompress.
He's checking his emails - because it's midnight on a Saturday, why wouldn't he be checking his emails? - when the door swings open, startling him. Jamie stumbles in, flushed from drinking, and when his eyes land on Gary his whole face splits into a grin.
"Gaz!" he cheers, much too loud for such a confined space. "Was wonderin' where you'd got to, I'd been startin' to think you'd flaked out on me."
Gary shrugs. "Never, Carra, you know me. Just needed a time out."
"Ah," Jamie says, nodding sagely. "Were you getting' all - " he waves his hands around his head, as if that's explanation enough. "Wassit called, again? Senses… sensory overload, innit?"
"You been talkin' to Becks?" Gary asks suspiciously, because he's the only person he can think of that uses all those weird therapy words in casual conversation. Always, at big parties, squeezing Gary's hand and saying I know it's loud, Gaz, I know it's too much. Just keep your focus on me.
"Why the fuck would I wanna talk to 'im," Jamie scoffs, and Gary feels his heart rate pick up.
Just keep your focus on me.
He thinks… he thinks there must be something wrong with him, he must've had more to drink than he thought, because -
Because he's looking at Jamie, and he finds he doesn't want to think about Becks at all. He almost wishes - and it's crazy, there has to be something wrong with him - he almost wishes there was no Becks to think about.
Jamie's looking back at him with those piercing grey eyes, and Gary's clenches his hands at his sides before they go and do something stupid like reach out to him.
He clears his throat. "Enjoyin' your party?"
The scowl fades from Jamie's face into something softer. "Yeah," he says, nodding vigorously, "it's sound."
*
It's still dark when David is woken by Gary bustling around the bedroom, but it's the middle of winter and they have blackout blinds so really it could be any time at all. He grabs his phone to glance at the time - it's not quite 6am yet, much too early for him to be waking up. Much too late for Gary to be coming to bed.
Gary comes over and pats his hair clumsily, says "sorry, Becks, din't mean to wake you. I'll go to spare room."
David's eyes are too heavy to roll them at Gary, but he huffs an exasperated sigh and wordlessly lifts up the covers for Gary to climb in next to him.
Gary climbs into bed fully clothed and immediately snuggles up to David, the way he'd never admit to liking when he's sober. He bunches his hands in the fabric of David's t-shirt and rests his head on his chest, his breath smelling like sweet wine.
"Thought you were staying over in Liverpool?" David mumbles into Gary's hair.
"Called a cab," Gary replies vaguely. "Was missin' you."
"'s only been a few hours, weirdo."
Gary whines unhappily, so he adds "I missed you too. Will you let me get back to sleep now?"
#gary experiencing any sort of feeling for anyone other than becks: i think there's something wrong with me. better go home!#beville#carraville#wip asks#im always out here in the trenches pushing the 'gary is autistic' agenda#also didnt know how to work it in there but jamie here knows what sensory overload is because he has been reading up on it.#so that he can understand gary. he probably googled 'why does my bestie get stressed at loud noises sometimes' and went from there
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🍄 and 🖍️ please!
Full list here!
🍄Decriscribe your wip/one of your wips in the format of “___ + ___ =___”
Hmmmm. Fanfiction writing/reading + unwanted help (or criticism) = eventual true love.
🖍Post Any sentence from your wip
The previous ask made me want to post a sentence from my wip that is currently only an outline, so I had to go back and actually write something. And then I decided "I do what I want" and wanted to post more than a sentence. 😂😂 Thanks, Pal!!
Anakin walked out of the movie theater feeling… incomplete. His friends were all talking about where they wanted to eat in the food court now that the movie was over, but his head was still swirled up in the plot he'd just seen unfold.
What if Ewan had gotten to Hayden sooner? Would he have been able to stop his fall to the dark side? And what about Natalie? Why didn't she trust Ewan more when he came to help? He was Haydens master, his mentor! Surely if the two of them had only-
“Anakin! Are you listening to us?” Ayla was waving her hand in front of his face. “What time is your mom picking us up?”
He snapped his attention back to his group of friends. Padme hadn't been all that interested in coming to see Star Wars, but between Ayla, Kitster, and himself she had been convinced to tag along. She only looked like she mildly regretted it.
“She'll be here in…” he looked at his watch. “Another hour. But she said that if we still wanted to walk around after she got here that she'd stay in the book store for another hour to wait for us.”
He hoped it wouldn't come to that, though. He wasn't sure how much he could participate in their conversation right now when they all seemed content to just not talk about the movie.
It wasn't even that he had any build up going into the film. He'd seen the first two movies when they came out and liked them just fine. Well enough that when the third one got announced he was the catalyst for this outing, but not so much that he needed to go on opening day or anything. But something about this one stuck to him. He couldn't shake the questions and ideas that were tumbling around in his head.
What if Hayden had been sent with Ewan to go after Grievous? What if someone else had gone entirely? Would Ewan have kept Hayden from meeting with the Chancellor? Or would Hayden have ended up telling Ewan about him being a Sith instead of going to Samuel?
Anakin continued to ignore his friends while they all ate, picking at his own fries and offering an occasional “mmm” in response to their attempts at drawing him into conversation. Eventually they stopped all together and contented themselves with discussing their upcoming school year. Another reason Anakin was glad to tune them out.
Padme and Ayla were a couple years older than Kitster and him and were starting their third year of high school, but for the two boys it would be their first. Anakin had been avoiding the topic whenever possible, but Kitster seemed excited to speculate what their classes and teachers would be like. Anakin was more than happy to leave him to Padme and Ayla's advice. He already knew his plan; keep his head down, work hard to get good grades, maybe join the robotics club, and just focus on getting out the other end. The strategy had always worked well for him in the past.
Besides, right now all he could think about was where he might find some message boards online to see what other people were thinking about Star Wars…
#ask game#writers ask game#anakin skywalker#obi wan kenobi#obikin#obikin fanfic#eventual obikin fanfic
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WIP Wednesday
I was tagged by @magpiepills who asked what I was working on. Such a loaded question my dear, what am I not working on? 😘
Well, since I am trying to focus and that is difficult for me when it comes to my writing, I’m going with five. It’s a solid number:
1. I'll dance for you - A Santiago Garcia one shot. Got some humor and drinking, not sure if it will be sweet, smut or both. 😋
2. Wrong Beach and a Speedo (title will likely change) Javi G summer romance. I like nice things sometimes. Sweet honey bear Javi 🧸 needs more fics! 😎
3. Chapter 2 of Roc & Doc - poor Tim. People really want his stuff to go missing. What did you do to the people Tim? 🤣
4. Florida Heat - Santiago Garcia x Dave York. I finally started it! 😘 It’s going to be a lot, I was going to do a clip of that but...they hadn't even really gotten to anything yet and it was pretty racy. 👀
5. We’re the Leftovers - I think I’ll go hotel/motel first because I’m not in a dark mood. Plus Marcus deserves some love. A bit angsty. 😙
I decided on an except from chapter 2 of "Roc & Doc" because of the TV cop references. I watch way too much TV:
The detective and doctor had dinner three times a week and tried alternating who pays. Tim had Doc pay the first time but he insisted on paying the others. It’s been a month since “The Case of the Vanishing Pens.” Doc told Tim that his jokes were as old as Columbo. He was not amused.
Tim told her that he’s a classic like Columbo, and she needs to show respect. And honestly, he’s more like Kojak - able to find a parking space anywhere in LA. Doc choked on her shrimp fried rice while sitting in the passenger seat of his car, he patted her back to try and help the piece of shrimp go down, it eventually did. “You’re not bald Rockford. Are you starting to go bald? Is that why you think you’re like Kojack? ” Doc asked, "you going to start rocking three piece suits with a briefcase?” Tim’s face freezes and he squints his eyes.
“I will kick you out of my car and leave you at this restaurant Doc. Don’t joke about a man’s hair.”
“You wouldn’t dare, Kojak would never. If you’re going to be mad about it, don’t compare yourself to a famous bald TV detective. Stick with Columbo Rockford.”
Side note: New chapter of “Weddings 101 with Dieter” will be out tomorrow. 🤗 I’m trying out a mood board. I’m getting with the times and all that jazz. 😆 I really do love that this series is equal parts ridiculous and heartfelt. 💕 I usually do several belly laughs while writing each chapter and I hope everyone gets some giggles out of them too. Dieter and Maya (OFC) are sweethearts. I promise @angelofsmalldeath-codeine
I may be working on a small interlude that explains Dieter’s and Oscar’s bad blood. 🩸🥸 Key words: pants, cheese, hair, paint, fingers, thong, numbers.
👀 Try and figure it out my friends. ☺️
NPT: @pedroshotwifey @morallyinept @for-a-longlongtime @sin-djarin @legendary-pink-dot @trulybetty @javierpena-inatacvest @javierpenaispunk @megamindsecretlair @saturn-rings-writes @boliv-jenta @lady-bess @alltheglitterandtheroar @tinytinymenace @sp00kymulderr @drawingdroid @pamasaur @mysterious-moonstruck-musings @gemmahale @soft-persephone @kewwrites @ramblers-lets-get-ramblin @beefrobeefcal @perotovar @chronically-ghosted
#wip wednesday#my WIPs#Nerdie's WIPs usually change#pedro pascal characters#pedro pascal fanfiction#fanfiction#dieter bravo#santiago garcia#tim rockford#Marcus pike#Dave york#javier gutierrez#Nerdie watched a lot of TV
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Darling Simon, here are some fic writing questions! Curious about 2, 7 and/or 8, and 4/37?
Wish you a fabulous Friday!
Hey there W, thank you so much for asking me all of these! :) And I'm sorry for waiting with answering until it's not even Friday anymore ahhh, but I hope you had a good one! 💜💜💜
2: Is there a trope you’ve yet to try your hand at, but really want to?
Oh sooooooo many!!!!! I really wanna write some classic enemies to lovers sometime and OH okay, this is probably highly specific, but I cooked up this AU idea with @sillylittleflower once and like one of the things that me wanna write it the most is the fact that I could include a good old tending to the wounds of someone and getting very close to them in process scene in it. Scenes like that are 100/10 and I will not rest until I've been able to write at least one!!!!
7: Share a snippet from one of your favorite pieces of prose you’ve written and explain why you’re proud of it.
God... the way I always forget everything immediately after I post it. But hmmm, something I REALLY enjoyed writing is this in Never Letting You Go:
Him on his knees to worship Simon, to offer him everything he has. To spell his veneration out, rededicate this space, make it into a temple for them and their love. To fill the air around them with the sounds of his sweet and breathy prayer.
Wilhelm nuzzles his nose along the patch of hair and smiles to himself.
If anyone dares to intrude on this moment that feels so fucking holy, well, let them see.
Because listen... something about using religious imagery to write about gay stuff? Idk, that's just a personal favorite of mine. Oh and I love the entire scene that this is taken out of because it's something I hadn't planned, it just sort of came to me and I love that I was able to take this very compromising position, but then not do what's most likely expected and instead make it into this sweet little break in between the sex, idk? I love writing not-always-so-linear sex scenes in case you hadn't noticed, lol.
8: Share a snippet from one of your favorite dialogue scenes you’ve written and explain why you’re proud of it.
I've recently been trying (and really enjoying!) to write more dialogue-heavy stuff, and I had soooo much fun with EVERYTHING in Lavender Haze, but especially some of the not-so-smoot flirting:
“I uh, I don’t,” he’s stumbling over the words, still not taking his eyes off Simon. “I can’t dance, really.”
“Oh, don't they teach you stuff like that at… royal school?” Simon shoots back, a challenging glint in his eyes that honest to god makes Wilhelm's knee buckle.
Wilhelm winces dramatically.
“Don't fucking remind me… I can give you a really unsexy waltz if that's what you want.”
The laughter bubbling from Simon's throat is worth all the embarrassment Wilhelm feels at the memory of tripping over his own feet at some function.
“Okay, new question: is there such a thing as a sexy waltz?” Simon asks and Wilhelm snorts.
“Clumsy waltz, then?” Wilhelm tries and can’t quite fight the fluttering inside his chest at the way Simon is shaking his head at him playfully.
4: How many fic ideas are you nurturing right now? Care to share one of them?
Oh god... too many for someone that should focus on getting one thing out at a time. But it's also kinda cool, because back in October I thought I'd never be able to come up with an original fic idea (as in, not taking something from canon) ever again.
Okay, I counted about 11 that I have traces of in my Google docs, some of them already have a bunch of actual writing to them, some just have outlines, but I love all of them and hope to get to them at one point of the other <3
37: Talk about your current wips.
Oh my goooood, I could talk for HOURS about them, this is too much ahhhh. Well, my most current WIP is a Sequel to my beloved Lavender Haze, which has Wille dealing with the aftermath of his hook-up (and maaaaaaybe, love at first sight situation, but who's to say) with Simon. I'm having a lot of fun with including other characters for once, like Felice, her gf, Maddie, Rosh and just trying my hand at something AU for once :)
And well... my vampire AU....... beloved...... beautiful......... when will I do her the honors of finally writing that first chapter instead of literally everything that comes after!?!?!?
And then I have a bunch of other ideas that I bother @sillylittleflower with 24/7 because they don't wanna leave my head, one of them, very, veeeeeery beloved is a photography student AU, hopefully strangers to friends to lovers and very, very soft and! which is new for me! Simon POV!
Please ask me some fun fic writer asks <3
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Hi Jess how are you? So I'm really curious about two of your wips heheheh. Can you tell us more about "Nix ruins parties" and "How to guide Tertius?". Btw you are SO SO creative omg, lots of love <3
hey, thank you for the ask and the compliment!!! very sweet of you ty! <3 I'm not too bad, very bored at work currently lmao. I just want to be writing 😩 i hope everything is going well for you too.
Nix ruins parties is a 5+1 format story about Nix misbehaving at a variety of different parties spanning from pre-war to post-war. I have a few sections pretty much finished and have currently been working on section v. may 1945, zell am see, austria trying to get some dialogue hashed out.
“Mm.” Dick made a non-committal noise. “Well, over here, anyway.”
"Ah, the Orient. A whole new kettle of fish.
"It's not over until it's over everywhere."
"You wanna go, don't you?"
Silence.
"You do." Nix rolled himself up onto his elbow, peering at Dick's face. It wasn't really even a decision he had to make: he'd made it long ago. "I'll go with you."
"I won't hold you to that. You're drunk."
"Yes, very," Nix agreed. "But I still mean it. M'gonna come with you."
And How to Guide Tertius is a Sentinel and Guide au from Lip's perspective focusing on the different Sentinels he has to work with through the war until he and Ron find each other. It's one I've been trying to wrestle into shape recently to try to explain the au and get some better description into it. Here's a bit from the start about Dick.
"Sir, did you–" The officer didn’t like seeming vulnerable so Lip was careful to keep his voice neutral. Now he was close enough, he could feel the Sentinel's exhaustion, a low sucking pulse. There was something else there too, a hint of distracting sorrow that was undercutting the rest. Winters always kept his emotions clamped down, so it said a lot about how wrung out he really was right now. Lip wanted to reach out to touch him, grip his shoulder. "I can give you a hand, if you need it."
“No.” That low sense of exhaustion drew back fast, like an animal darting back into its den and out of sight. Winters didn't bristle visibly, but his voice was clipped. The set of his shoulders was stiffer. "No, I'm alright. Thanks for the offer, First Sergeant."
Lip didn’t try to argue the point. A different Sentinel and maybe he would have tried, officer or not. With Sentinels, there was always a risk they’d lose themselves, get too overstimulated, startled or provoked into a spiral that dragged them down into their sense of hearing or touch or sight until they could only focus on the tiniest minutia of that singular sense and nothing else. Sometimes it could be an emotion that did it: rage, fear, grief. Guides were able to break through that spiral, allowing a Sentinel to focus in on them instead.
An overloaded Sentinel was dangerous, liable to lash out or go catatonic, so Army training for Sentinels was particularly gruelling, drilling the men for hours – days, sometimes – exhausting them, trying to push them to their absolute limits. Boot camp had washed out a lot of Sentinels, and Toccoa had wiped out a lot more. Guides were given different training too, taught how to modulate their voices, keep a touch soft and reassuring, read emotions and body language. Lip hadn't had a problem with it, that kind of stuff had always come naturally for him, even as a child. The training just helped prepare him to do it all under fire so he’d be able to Guide a man through hell itself.
But this was Lieutenant Winters. Lip let it be.
thanks again for the ask!!
Ask me about my WIPs!
#jessi talks#jessi writes#band of brothers#lewis nixon#dick winters#ron speirs#carwood lipton#winnix#speirton#wip ask game#my wips
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Wednesday Wrensday
Tagged by @elfinismsarts to share some of a WIP! So have a future scene that I'm still working on.
Tagging @mareenavee @changelingsandothernonsense @boethiahspillowbook and you know what, anyone else who wants to join!
“Tel…”
The slight whisper of his name shook him to the core, echoing inside his skull as if it had been shouted into his ears. He hadn’t expected her to speak so soon. The paralysis elixir had only just begun to wear off, and he thought she would drift off to sleep. It’s what he would be doing if he were in her situation, but Wren, he had learned, was too tenacious for her own good.
Teldryn stepped closer to the bedside where she lay and forced himself to look at her, to get a good, hard look at what had happened to her. What that damned Khajiit had done, no, what he had done to her. Guilt and icewater flooded his veins, and he froze in place.
This is entirely your fault, she would never have ran off and gotten herself into this fucking mess if it weren’t for you!
His gaze traveled to the bandages wrapped around her leg and shoulder, to the faintest hint of blood beginning to dampen them. Her skin was a pale, pallid gray with no indication of life beneath its surface, her once lively bluish glow completely absent. The only sign of life he could see, besides the shallow rise and fall of her chest, were those eyes which burned like two red-hot hot coals in the ashes of a dying fire.
“Do you need anything? Are you hurt?” Teldryn clenched his teeth and silently scolded himself. Of course she was hurt, what a stupid thing to ask! “I can ease your pain if you need me to, just… just tell me, alright?”
Wren slowly shifted her attention from the ceiling above her to him, or at least in his direction. There was no focus in her eyes, and he wondered if she could see him at all.
“You’re here.”
This was no time for amusement, and Gods know he tried his hardest to stop himself, but Teldryn began to laugh. Through his laughter he could hear a faint murmuring through the walls from Maramal and Briehl, and the soft splashing of water while they cleaned themselves up. His laughter, he supposed, was that of relief.
“I’m sorry,” he choked, then sat gingerly at the edge of the bed and wrapped his fingers around hers. Should he be touching her at all? The lack of anger in her eyes told him she wasn’t about to fight it. “I’m sorry, Wren, just… Gods, I’m happy to see you. Alive.”
“You’re here,” she repeated. Her mouth hardly moved and her voice was a mere shadow of what it could be, a dry and wilted whisper. “Why?”
The single, small word struck him like a punch to the gut. Why. Teldryn couldn't even come up with a proper response. He was simply here. There wasn't a damned thing in Tamriel that he'd rather be doing, nothing so important that he would consider leaving her side for even a moment. He had promised to keep Wren safe, he had prayed to Azura to watch over her, and yet here she was, broken and bloodied after having fled from him, and he hadn't been able to stop it.
"I just am," he said after some time, then gave her hand a small, assuring squeeze. Her fingers just barely tensed in his grip, just enough for him to feel. "You're my responsibility, you know."
Wren stared back at him for quite some time, her eyes, glistening with tears, now locked on him as she found the strength to focus and to speak. "You're wasting your time on me."
"I've got all the time in the world, outlander. None of it is wasted."
Her lips twitched as if she might have been trying to smile, but she said nothing. She didn't need to.
Teldryn rubbed his thumb across her palm and smiled. "You ought to get some rest, we can talk more later. I'll be here when you wake up."
And I always will be.
#wip wednesday#wednesday wrensday#my writing#ascent from the ashes#teldryn sero#wren indoran#skyrim#tesblr
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Victory Ficlet anon here- wouldn't mind an expansion on that bodyguard/princess ficlet but if you want to keep things separate, would cowboy/wild west be a prompt of interest to you...? 👀
I'm not feeling an expansion (that's how you get WIPs) but a wild west AU I can definitely do!
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"I'm not sure how much further it'll be safe, ma'am," Kara says as she helps her new boss over a fallen log. The path back to Cat's holding is still rough, too rough for a wagon to make it through. Kara's working on it, but with so much still needing done it's not a high priority. There's still plenty of time before she needs to lay in supplies for the winter.
"If it's safe enough for you, it's safe enough for me," Cat say stubbornly. She's made it a lot further than Kara'd expected her to, she'll give her that. But in her full skirts and dainty shoes, Kara's not sure how long that'll last. And any further than this it'll be just as hard to turn back as it will be to continue.
Another tree, this one smaller, and then they get to the rocks. "Beggin' your pardon, ma'am. But the rest of the trail is awful rough. We're gettin' close to the cabin, but it's not easy road from here on out."
"I suppose you'd call the first part of the trip easy then, would you?" Cat asks, resting against a boulder for a moment to catch her breath. "A nice quiet stroll in the woods?"
"Well, easy ain't my first thought," Kara admits. "Not with a pack full of goods plus watchin' for bears or anything else out there." Not that it's been difficult, but she's not about to admit that to Cat. Not when her new boss is paying so handsomely for her to get the holding set up.
Cat looks suspiciously at the woods around them, then pushes herself upright. "The sooner we get there, the better for us both, then. I can handle a little rough trail, I'd just very much like to be done walking."
Kara will also give Cat that much, she doesn't back down from a challenge. Even with spending most of her time after Cat hired her out in the woods getting things taken care of, she's spotted that much.
Of course, gumption only gets you so far when you're not properly dressed for the terrain, and they're almost to the holding when Cat slips, one ankle twisting under her as she tries to keep her balance. Only Kara's quick reactions keep her from going down completely, and it's not quick enough to completely save her from injury.
"It's definitely sprained," Cat says as she tries to put weight on it. "I don't think it's broken though, or it'd hurt a lot more."
Looking around to place exactly where they are, Kara debates what to do. They don't have too much further to go, but it's over terrain bad enough she doesn't think Cat will be able to make it on her own, even if Kara can find wood to make a quick crutch for her. Which means she'll need Kara's help, and that'll be difficult with the size of the pack she's carrying.
She could leave the pack here and get Cat to the cabin, but she really needs these supplies. Leaving them behind is just asking for something to go wrong. But there's no way in hell she'd leave Cat by herself out here. Not when she hadn't fully been joking about the bears in the area.
Well, nothing for it, then. "Ma'am, we're nearly to the cabin, but I don't think you'd fare well on the path between here and there, not with that ankle of yours. So if you'll let me, I think I'm gonna have to carry you the rest of the way."
Cat stares at her in disbelief for a long moment, then glances down at her ankle and lets out a sigh. "If you think that's the best way, I'll just have to trust you, now won't I? Not like I have much of a choice."
"I promise I'll be careful," Kara says, slightly stung by the response but trying not to show it as she carefully scoops Cat into her arms. "Path might be rough, but I've got the shoes for it, and I know it well enough to be safe."
With Cat in her arms like this it's hard for Kara to focus, but she'd run away from 'civilized' society years ago for a reason. She's not about to do something stupid now.
"Oop," Cat yelps as Kara picks her up, clutching at her shoulders until she feels settled. "That's not what I- oh drat it all, Kara Danvers. I do trust you. I just don't do well with pain. Now if you and your inconveniently convenient muscles would get us to the cabin, I'd really like to be done walking now."
"Inconveniently convenient?" Kara can't help wondering, stuck on that phrase even as she starts carefully walking forward.
She's surprised to see a blush on Cat's face, but the woman won't actually look at her, staring determinedly out into the woods instead.
Well then. That'll be a fun thought for Kara to puzzle over for the next few days while they're stuck in the cabin waiting for Cat's ankle to heal up.
But for now, she's got to get them there safely.
#Supercat#Supercat fic#Supergirl#Supergirl fic#Prompt fill#Wow I did not mean for this to be so long#Remember you can drop tropes/ideas/etc in my inbox for the 3 full victory fics I'll be writing!#Though as long as long as this is it almost counts as one of them lol
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Writing Year in Review - 2023
I have to say, 2023 was an odd year for me.
I finally made it to TFCon again (after taking a long hiatus during the pandemic), and it was absolutely lovely to see everyone. I got to meet some new folks face-to-face, and meet up again with people I'd met in 2019. Spouse came with me this time, and he had a pretty good time (despite only being a TF fan via osmosis).
We did no other travel, though. Part of that was because we got a new cat, so we're back to needing to make kenneling arrangements before going anywhere. And as much of a joy as our cat is, that has made travel a little more inconvenient.
I had some major disruptions at work this year, completely upending the end of my summer and start of fall. As a direct result of this, the coming year is going to be extremely challenging work-wise as I get caught up on some things. Hopefully by late summer 2024, the pressure will be off and I can relax again (back into my usual level of work-related stress).
I also had my first round of Covid in 2023, which absolutely sucked. F minus, not recommended. I came very close to going to the ER during the worst of it, and the aftermath continued to kick my ass for months. The fatigue and brain fog was real, but the other health issues that it produced are still with me. Thank god for vaccines; I don't know how things might have gone if I hadn't been vaccinated.
In the coming year, I am going to try to focus on being kind to myself, both mentally and physically. Part of that is going to include the expectations I'm setting for myself for writing.
In December, I wrote 5,500 words, most of it in the story I've started posting, A Matter of Propriety. The story is still being posted (and I need to finish writing it!!) and I'm hoping to keep up my once-a-week posting schedule. If I can't make good progress on the next chapter this week, I'll probably drop into an every-other-week schedule instead, just so I can maintain my chapter buffer. (The story will likely have eight chapters total.)
For the year, in 2023 I wrote 62,502 words. Most of that was on A Matter of Propriety and Again and Again and Again (my TF Big Bang fic). However, I only posted 24,184 words to AO3, split between 4 completed works. (A Matter of Propriety will finish in 2024, so its stats will eventually count for that year.)
Most months I didn't set a specific word count goal, and that's ok. But possibly as a result, my output was all over the map. The two major peaks are in April (when I did the bulk of my Big Bang fic writing), and July (when I got a smutty fic idea and banged (hah) it out really quick).
Like always, my average words per hour is pretty consistent, although not as much as in previous years. Still, it shows that when I do sit down and write, I get consistent work done.
As I mentioned, I didn't make specific writing goals most months, but when I did, I never reached them. That tells me I am setting my goals too high, and I need to be more realistic.
As for the goals I set for myself for 2023, I did pretty awful. 😅 Again, I think I was just setting expectations too high for myself.
Finish Sun and Moon (working title) Nope. I barely worked on it at all.
Finish one Sparkr story (any of my bunnies or WIPs!) In progress? Call this 50%.
Write two comic scripts for practice Nope.
Make more progress in IDW2 reviews Nope, 0% progress made.
Finish The King and the Bounty Hunter Barely worked on this, either, so no.
Rewrite/repost stories that I took down. Call this 50% done.
When chatting about this with a friend last night, I realized that THREE of my goals were basically "finish this longfic." Considering how much brainpower longfics take, it's no wonder I failed. So as part of my "be kind to myself" vision statement 😅 I'm going to focus on do-able goals, with one "stretch" longfic goal.
Write two comic scripts for practice
Finish reposting taken-down fics
Write and post three one-shots
Start posting Sun and Moon (working title)
My rationale for these is: I really want to practice scriptwriting. I really want to finish getting those old fics back up in a better format. I LOVE the instant quick gratification of getting a short story written and posted. And the stretch goal is to start posting Sun and Moon. If I'm starting to post it, that means I am confident about finishing it. ✨
Behind the cut is the first sentence of each of the stories I posted (sans the reposted fics, since those were all backdated to their original posting dates), and the month it was posted in. I wish everyone a happy and safe 2024!
August. Sharing is Caring. "That's it… There you go." The words were whispered into Bluestreak's audial.
August. Plans in Plans. The tiny dot in the distance grew in size as it approached, until Megatron's optics were able to resolve it into the shape of a Seeker.
September. Again and Again and Again. Create log file.
November. A Nice Set of Wheels. "So who is this guy, again?" Mirage asked, slipping between a box truck and a van.
December. A Matter of Propriety. Orion picked up his comm pad for approximately the thousandth time since being shown to his table, and checked it for messages.
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Are u looking for smut prompts?!!?!? Cuz if so 13 for Jacob/Kit, but if not uhhhh disregard and have a cool day :p
I am so sorry this took me so long to get to, sometimes the smut just doesn’t want to come (excuse the pun) and this has sat in my wip folder half finished for forever. But it’s finally here and it’s definitely on the darker side of things.
@strangefable also asked for this one. So without further ado, the prompt fill for “Get back down here, we’re not done yet.”
Taste the Pain
18+, NSFW (Minors DNI)
Warnings: NonCon, References to torture and starvation, Fingering, Finger Sucking, Exhibitionism, Threats
Words: 1799
Pairing: Jacob Seed x Female Deputy (but Staci’s there too)
Read on AO3
Muffled groans were held back behind duct tape, like the sad sounds of a dying animal. By all accounts he was, or at least that’s what he was intended to be. Wide eyes searched the room desperately, trying to find something to focus on other than the cold stare that struck him full of so much fear.
Staci's mewling bit at her, burning through the ice that had frozen her veins for so long. Seeing him so worn out, so broken, and thin. He was emaciated, made weak since the last time she'd seen him, Jacob hadn't lied about what he intended to do with the traitor. He’d been trapped down here for seven days, the same seven days she remembered waking up to, feeling as though her stomach would start eating itself any given second, knowing that her brain had already started the process, and having that same sadistic grin looking down on her while she suffered.
Here they were all together, down in Jacob's bunker. The steady dripping of a pipe in the corner caused water to pool in the middle of the room where a small drain sat. Staci's cowboy boot slipped against the slick concrete, his foot kicking out as Jacob grabbed him by the hair, pulling his head back, exposing his throat. A temptation for the killer instinct in Kit.
"Look at him, this pathetic piece of meat has been sniveling for days. Just won’t die though, so sure you'd come for him."
She closed her eyes, dragging them away from the bound man before her. His brown eyes brimming with tears. Snot running down in streams making the grey tape glisten in the gloom of the bunker’s lighting.
"Leave him alone, Jacob." She warned, not sure if her words would mean a damn thing at this point.
"You hear that Peaches, she's lookin’ out for ya." A cold chuckle drifting from him at the small defiant glance Staci shot in his direction. He hadn’t broken entirely yet, he was stronger than he looked, he had to give him that. "But you and I both know she didn’t come back here for you.” He squeezed Pratt’s shoulder, fingers digging into the space below the collar bone. “She's here because of me."
"This is fucking sick!" She snarled.
Jacob stalked around Staci, leg swinging with each prideful step. His pet had been the perfect bait to catch her, to get her to come back home, and now he’d get his chance to gloat. "Doesn't he deserve to know? His hero, the Deputy, is with the enemy." He pointed his finger at her as if she were on trial, a witch about to be burned at the stake.
Pratt's eyes went wide as a calf's at the revelation. A tear slipping down the side of his face while he looked at her with a furrowed brow. She could only imagine the things he was thinking about her now.
“Doesn’t he deserve to know about the things you’ve done for me? With me?” Jacob smirked and white teeth shone from the corner of his mouth.
She was of the mind to punch the look off his face. “No. I'm not...not like this.” She turned to climb the stairs back out of the bunker, back to where the fresh air blew, where she could think clearly again.
“Get back down here, Deputy. We’re not done yet.”
That growl of his stopped her feet dead in their tracks. Something that spoke to the most basic part of her. He knew how to command her, and just like how an animal is able to obey, understanding only the tone of voice, so too did she come to heel.
“Good girl. Now get your ass back where Peaches can see ya.”
She dragged her feet along the concrete floor, jaw clenched as her fists were held at her sides. Her heart pounding in her chest thinking about what Jacob might have had running through his head right now.
He circled behind her and she went rigid like she was under inspection, her muscles tensing, reacting to his proximity. Cold fingers wrapped around her neck and then grabbed at the collar of her jacket as he ripped it down her shoulders and arms, throwing it into a dark corner of the room. She wore just a tank top and dozens of scratches and bruises scattered across her chest, neck and arms suddenly came to light. He ran his thumb over the freshest of the batch, deep and purple, right at the curve of her neck causing her to wince as a twinge of pain shot through her muscle.
“Ya see I heard a rumor about our little pal Peaches here. I heard that he liked to flirt with ya."
Staci's head dropped, chin pressed to his chest. In a moment of weakness he had confided in the wrong person. Shoulders lifting and then falling with a heavy sigh.
Jacob's cruel grin made his eyes narrow, taking so much joy out of the deputy’s suffering. His nose pressed to Kit’s neck as his hand grabbed the chunk of hair at the nape just above her braid making her teeth grit. "Can hardly blame him."
He pushed her forward, legs stumbling under her like a foal. Grabbing at her sore point, he pushed her down to her knees. She could look nowhere but up at Staci, at his broken skin, all bruises and dried blood. The guilt began to eat at her and all she could do was mouth she was sorry - what little good that would do either of them now.
"From what I hear Peaches has been around the block a time or two. So I'm sure he can tell where all these marks came from." His hand slid from her shoulder, calloused palm rubbing against the tattooed flesh of her back. “Stay right there. Don’t you move a muscle," he whispered to her, his voice creeping into that part of her brain that aimed to please.
She didn’t try to run, didn’t try to fight. There was no point. Doing that would only mean harm would come to Staci, not to her. That was the unspoken rule, she already knew it. Staci was the errand boy, she was the real pet.
Returning to Staci’s side, Jacob grabbed at the corner of the tape on his mouth. Ripping it off in one foul swoop, like tearing off a bandage, portions of Staci’s stubble coming away with it. Patches of red scattered around his mouth, while the tape residue clung to his black whiskers.
His scream echoed around the confines of the damp basement, but Jacob didn't notice, he just kept right on talking. Unfazed by the horror he inflicted on others. "I'm willing to cut a deal here. I'll let Peaches live, hell he can even stay in the bunker, but he needs to know his boundaries, he needs to know where the line is drawn."
Kit could feel the swell of anger bubbling up to the surface once more. "I'm pretty sure he has an idea. You've made your point. Right, Stace?" She looked at Staci with pity in her eyes, knowing all too well that the young Deputy only had so much left in him after all that he'd been through.
He nodded his head fervently at her in return until Jacob yanked back on his hair, holding him in place once more. "He needs to know that what's mine is mine and it better stay that way, and the best way of doing that is getting used to a scent."
Her eyes flared up at Jacob, disgusted by the insinuation of what was going to come next.
"I don't share. And knowing that he's already been sniffing around you, well I need him to be aware of just who you belong to."
"What the fuck are you talking about?" She snapped.
"He set you free thinking you'd come back for him. Thinking you'd escape together. I think Peaches here has a crush. Let's give him a taste of that freedom." He clapped his hands on Staci's shoulders, his cold stare directed at her. "Stand up."
She rose to her feet, swallowing heavily, dreading the soldier's next move, but unwilling to disobey.
"See how well she listens, Peaches. I never have to tell her anything twice. That's why she's not tied to a chair like you are."
Jacob chuckled to himself as he strode back over to her side, standing behind her, his pale stare focused now on Staci as his hands slid down her hips and over her curves. Unbuttoning her jeans, his hand slipped down the front of her panties.
A breathy, shaking sigh escaped her as his fingertips began to toy with her clit, rubbing rough circles against it. Sliding down her slit, petting her, slipping up into her until she was soaking wet and his digits were dripping with her slick.
Her eyes squeezed together tightly, wanting to grab his hands and pull them away, a bright red flush overtaking her. Turned on by the way he made her feel. Embarrassed to have an audience. Shocked to learn how much she enjoyed being taken by him as others watched.
Pulling away from her, he left her empty and wanting. His fingers glistened in the dark as he shoved them under Staci's nose, forcing him to smell the scent of her upon them.
Kit's heart sank as his eyelashes fluttered, his eyes closing as he took in her scent. Her salty sweet musk was a kind escape from the scent of wet earth the basement had surrounded him in.
Grabbing Staci by the jaw, Jacob forced his mouth open, shoving his fingers inside the younger man's mouth, allowing him a taste of her. Swirling his fingers against his tongue, stroking stripes against it, pressing down and making Pratt gag.
"How does she taste, Peaches?"
Staci tried to speak around the fingers in his mouth but it was no use. Saliva dripped down from the corner of his mouth and settled into the hairs of his beard as more tears fell down his cheeks.
"You better get every last drop of her, pup, because this is the one and only time you're going to get this."
Dragging his tongue between thick fingers, Staci’s cheeks concave as he sucked his master's digits clean.
"Good boy."
His eyes rolled back into his head, the conditioning still having an effect on his mind. Even as Jacob yanked his fingers free with a wet pop, Staci was not yet ready to have them leave.
"Now I hope I've made myself clear." Jacob wiped his fingers on the arm of Staci's shirt, smug as ever, his focus returned to her. "She's mine."
#far cry 5#fan fiction#jacob seed x female deputy#jacob seed#staci pratt#oc: kit cross#dark smut#lemon
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Safe (On her arms).
Im once again neglecting my other wips, sorry.
Say that Ruby was worried was an understatement. Her stomach was a knot and her throat felt like it was being squished from the inside. It made her feel sick.
In the most literal way possible, Ruby was worried sick.
Her gaze was fixated on the aura tracker on Nora's scroll. Oscar was low on aura, the bar below his icon was of an annoying yellow.
Yang hadn't explained what had happened and because of that, her mind was going places.
Never mind that the sooner the rest of their group arrived at the mansion her mind may finally find a little bit of peace. She tried he best to ignore the part of her brain that seemed fixated on Oscar's safety specifically. He wasn't a little kid, he was able to take care of himself just fine, yet there she was, eager to see him just to know he was safe. Jaune, Ren and even her sister being a second thought made her feel a deep sense of guilt.
Eventually, the others arrived and the reunions were in place. While she was happy to see her sister, Jaune, and Ren alright, her anxiety was still up, still not calmed down.
Then she saw him. Worse to wear, his jacket shredded and bruises on his face. But alive. And the sole fact he was alive filled her with immense relief. She wanted to hug him, keep him safe, take care of him as the precious person he was.
But then she saw her.
Emerald Sustrai. The illusionist was just two or three steps behind Oscar, who seemed wistfully unaware of the danger this meant. Could she be using her semblance on him? Oscar wasn't careless nor stupid to give his back to this woman, the only explanation there was that he didn't know she was there.
Oscar didn't know. Oscar, who was already hurt and low in aura, didn't know Emerald was behind him.
Oscar, the boy she held close to her heart, didn't know he was in danger.
Ruby saw red.
She acted without thinking, she rushed to his side. With one hand she pointed Crescent Rose at the criminal and with the other she held Oscar close to her, to keep him safe.
Emerald cursed, dodging Ruby's attack while Oscar yelped, taken by surprise by the sudden hug.
"Stay away from him." Ruby threatened her voice deadly cold.
"This is a misunderstanding, I didn't do anything to him!" Emerald replied.
"A misunderstanding? I don't believe you."
But before she could continue with her threats she felt Oscar struggle on her embrace, trying to separate the two.
"Ruby, wait. She's telling the truth." Oscar hurried to say. "She helped me, in fact."
"She… helped you?" Ruby asked, finally lowering her weapon.
"Salem kidnapped me, but Emerald helped me escape." Oscar explained, "She is not with Salem anymore."
Ruby could barely focus on what Oscar was saying. Kidnapped? It felt like a slap in the face, Oscar had been in danger, in Salem claws and Ruby had no idea. She wasn't there to stop, to save him, to protect him.
Apparently Ruby's despair was palpable in the hair, since Emerald realized very quickly it wasn't her place to be. "Im going inside, I'll leave you two alone."
Oscar nodded, right now he was more worried about how quiet Ruby had suddenly become.
"Ruby?" He called, and that made Ruby snap out.
"Oh, Oscar, Im so sorry. I should've been there." Ruby said, and now without the need to use Crescent Rose, she properly hugged him, afraid that if she let go he would be taken away again.
"is not your fault. I'm fine now." Oscar says, to comfort.
Right, he was fine now.
He was alive, he was safe.
Safe in her arms.
#rwby#my writing#This is more hurt than comfort this time around#Sorry bout tgat#Im going to sleep now#rosegarden
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wip wednesday/whenever: wip excerpt edition! i was tagged by @ocean-in-my-rebel-soul, and i'm tagging @autobot-scout-riella, @wildercrow, @wild-houseplant, and @jonbinary (and also @pen99 because the focus is your hawke :>)
Rules: If you're tagged, please give an excerpt of your WIP! Tag and share! (And tag me back, I wanna read what you share!)
this wip is the sequel to a previous fic of mine from several years ago that was called believe it's easier for you, which was a modern day hawke/varric au that explored what would happen if varric left for several years and his relationships with the da2 characters became strained:
The Tethras family home was old and large ('stately and grand,' Bartrand had called it in one of his more snobbish moments, to which Varric had replied, 'It's fuckoff huge, Barty') and perhaps most importantly, the Tethras family home was stuffed full of furniture and mementoes and dust covered hope.
Almost every inch of the place echoed with ghosts. He felt shades of himself running down the halls and scrawling words underneath wallpaper that had been chosen specifically to cover up his indiscretions. He slid a hand down a lintel, feeling the bumps covered up with layers of paint until you could barely tell where Bartrand had carved out lines to measure how tall Varric had gotten.
He sighed, leaned against the doorway, and scrubbed a hand down his face. He almost laughed when it didn't come away caked with dust, after spending the late morning and the entirety of the afternoon packing away some of the lower floor of the house into boxes. Some would go into storage, the rest to be sold or donated to thrift stores. And… now that he had sealed the most recent box with packing tape, he was unable to ignore anymore the weight of what he was doing, which had been settling down upon his shoulders one piece at a time like drifting snow, cold and heavy and merciless.
His mother was in that box, and so was Bartrand, and himself. Everyone, he realized, except for his father.
Almost without his being aware of it, his head slowly tilted up and up, towards the sealed room that had been his father's study when he'd been alive. He hadn't been inside in almost a decade and a half, let alone now when he was closing up the house and had a proper excuse to do so. He hesitated even to broach the thought. That was his father's space. His sanctuary. And leaving it closed up had become… more than a family habit or way of honoring the dead, it had become a responsibility.
Varric swallowed heavily. Without looking away from that section of the ceiling, he pulled out his phone and entered in the code to unlock it. He glanced down only to pull up Hawke With An E, which he had only recently edited to say Hewk.
The phone rang only once, and then there was a click. "What?"
The words he'd been planning to say dried up on his tongue.
"Varric?" There was a shift of fabric on the other end of the phone. He could almost see Edyiss Hawke shifting the phone from ear to ear as if that would somehow allow her to better hear what he hadn't been able to bring himself to say.
He laughed humorlessly, and raked the hand not holding his phone through his hair. "I need you, Ed. Here," he clarified, clearing his throat. "I need… Shit, I don't even know. A sounding board? Someone to witness my descent into madness?"
"You aren't going mad, Varric," Hawke said. The determination in her voice was thin and crackly. She must have driven to the base of Sundermount to go hiking again. Always said it cleared her head.
He looked away from the chair his mother had always sat in by the window, and towards Bartrand's room. "How do you know?" He asked hollowly. "If it walks like a duck, quacks like a duck, has family history like a duck…"
"I'm coming over."
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Dragons Love Gold Teaser
Hi, I'm back again to say that yes, I am still working on the 10+ drafts I have of Merthur one shots, and a couple of them are getting close to being finished. However, it is impossible to estimate how long they are going to take, so I'm dropping a snippet of one of my WIP stories here for you guys to enjoy!
When the fic is finished, you'll be able to click here for the link.
Click the keep reading divider to read the excerpt below! I hope you enjoy it and feel free to share your thoughts/predictions! :3
Dragons Love Gold (Excerpt)
Summary: Merlin successfully rescued the dragon's egg from the Tomb of Ashkanar and brought it home to Camelot. Now he has to figure out the next steps of hatching and raising a baby dragon, while also keeping the egg's existence a secret from Arthur, who definitely notices his strange behavior.
He stood off to the side of the banquet room, dazed. He couldn't focus on anything. All he could think about was the egg waiting for him in his room, and the tiny dragon inside it. It felt like something was pulling at him. The way he was feeling somehow reminded him of his mother. She was always so worried, so focused on his needs rather than her own. Merlin noticed the similarities and wondered if he was developing maternal instincts for the egg.
Merlin drifted between the tables. His body moved on its own out of routine as he absentmindedly filled goblets. He was so zoned out that he nearly spilled the pitcher while pouring wine into Arthur's glass when he spoke. "What is wrong with you today, Merlin?" he asked, making him jump. He eyed him up and down, eyebrows furrowed in thought. "You've been acting weird since this morning. Well, weirder I guess."
"Sorry Sire, I think I'm just tired," he replied. He offered an unconvincing smile. The king scowled now, evidently not approving of his response. Merlin swallowed nervously under his scrutinizing gaze. "Would you like anything else?"
"I'd like if my servant was honest with me," Arthur said. Fear dropped like a stone in Merlin's stomach as he silently watched the king. He took a sip from his now filled goblet. He looked annoyed and suspicious as he set it back down, glaring slightly. "Because he's definitely lying, and I expect him to tell the truth if he doesn't want to be given double chores tomorrow."
Merlin swore in his mind. As much of a dollophead Arthur could be, he wasn't as oblivious as he seemed. He could always see through him when he was upset or troubled. Just tell fragments of the truth, he thought to himself. Then you won't be lying, and he won't pick up on it.
"Sorry, I have a lot things on my mind tonight," Merlin said honestly. "Gaius and I were trying to find some information this afternoon. We were scouring through books for hours, and I honestly feel like my brain is going to explode with the amount of information."
Every part of his statement was true. He held Arthur's gaze, firmly standing his ground. He had no reason to hide; he hadn't lied. The king inspected his face some more as he took another sip from his goblet. His piercing eyes stared at him over the rim of the cup. Merlin was honestly starting to turn red for entirely different reason because of the intensity of how Arthur was staring at him. He willed the warmth that had filled his cheeks away, hoping it wasn't noticeable to the man sitting in front of him.
"That doesn't surprise me considering how small your brain is," Arthur finally replied, returning the goblet to the table.
Merlin rolled his eyes, but his shoulders relaxed. He didn't bother with a retort. He was too tired, and he wanted this feast to be over so he could return to the egg. Flashing an offended frown and huffing, he turned and returned to his work.
The rest of the meal passed by in a blurry haze as he made his rounds. Merlin had to hold back his elation when Arthur announced he was going to retire for the evening. He handed off his pitcher to another servant and followed closely on his king's heels as he strode out of the room.
Once within his chambers, Arthur motioned for Merlin to help him prepare for bed. He tried not to show his impatience as he helped him out of his armor, chainmail, and fine clothes. The king then disappeared behind the changing screen to remove his breeches and tunic. Merlin retrieved night clothes and hung them over the top for Arthur to put on. He bounced on the balls of his feet as he waited for him to reemerge, heart beating a bit quicker with the anticipation of returning to the egg.
The sky he saw through the window was already dark. All he needed was Arthur to dismiss him for night; then he could get the egg, and take it with him to call Kilgharrah. Merlin zoned out, staring at the abyss that coated the city. Stars were beginning to poke their way through. The way they sparkled reminded him of the egg's exterior.
"Could you put out the candles, Merlin?" Arthur said, though the manservant was too much in thought to hear. "Merlin!"
The increase in volume and sharpness of his voice broke him from his trance. He whipped his head toward him, freezing as he tried to think of what he had said. The king stared at him expectantly, but Merlin's mind was blank, too full of plans for the egg to register what he'd been told. "Sorry, what?" he asked, smiling bashfully in a way he hoped as charming.
"Gods, your name suits you. You have the attention span of a bird," he said exasperatedly. He spun around and tossed himself onto his bed. "I said could you put out the candles? Honestly, do it quickly, you seem to desperately need sleep or something. You're even more annoyingly absentminded than usual."
Merlin didn't need to be told twice; well, told three times he supposed. He hurried his way around the room, blowing out all the candles. He managed to bump into the table with a muffled curse. A snort came from the bed where Arthur was laying, but the manservant stubbornly ignored it as he left the room. The door shut behind him a little too quickly for it to be considered normal, but Merlin frankly did not care.
He hurried down the castle corridors. He moved as fast as he could without breaking into a run. Gaius was awake when he got back, but he was in his nightgown and preparing for bed. The old man looked at him expectantly. "I know you're going to talk to the Great Dragon this evening about the egg, so be careful," he told him with a nod.
"Yeah, I always am," Merlin rushed out as he walked past him to his room.
There was doubtful grumbling from the physician that he couldn't make out. He tuned it out as closed his bedroom door behind him. The egg sat where he left it, glistening from the moonlight beginning to shine through his window. Merlin sighed happily as he moved forward. He slid down to his knees to be eye level with the egg, reaching out to put his hands on its sides. The familiar feeling of warmth flowed from the shell to his hand.
Merlin slowly stood up and scooped the egg into his arms, cradling against his chest. He felt his heartbeat match against the faint one beating within the egg.
"I can't wait to meet you," he whispered to it.
#merlin#merlin bbc#bbc merlin#merlin fanfic#merlin emrys#arthur pendragon#merthur#medieval husbands#two sides of the same coin#death of a phangirl#the once and future fandom
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2022 fic wrap-up!
Here it is, my 2022 fic wrap-up! I'll divide it in three parts: general rambling about writing, month-by-month discussion of what I wrote in more detail, and a conclusion about what I'd like to get done this year a.k.a. 2023!
(I wrote so much I'm sorry.)
General Thoughts and Rambling about Writing
I've had multiple times when I'd say I stopped writing. I wrote a lot when I was younger, both fic and original, always in my native language (French.) I also roleplayed a fair amount. Back in 2011, after a very bad time in my life, I stopped writing. My last attempts were roleplaying posts; I think by that time I hadn't written fic in over a year.
For a little while, I focused on drawing exclusively. I even created an original webcomic that's currently discontinued. Then, in 2013, Pokémon X&Y came out–
I'd planned to write posts about my main X&Y fic series on Tumblr, but only wrote one and then never got around to writing the rest. I still want to, though! It probably covers most of what I'd want to say already, so I'll be brief: I got back into writing fic in 2013, for Pokémon X&Y, in English this time, and then lost steam the next year for a variety of reasons. I got back into writing again in 2015-2016, writing more or less exclusively for myself without sharing it except on dreamwidth and password-locked blogs. At the time, I think I felt self-conscious about posting fic on AO3 that I didn't think was "up to par," not to mention I felt guilty about my lingering WIP...
In late 2017, I got into a brand new fandom, Yakuza, and for the first time in four years started to focus my creative energy in something that wasn't Pokémon X&Y. I still thought about it a lot (Lysandre especially) but I was able to get into new ships that I was excited about for reasons that weren't "this reminds me of my ultimate blorbos." In 2018, I started working on a Yakuza fic that I then gave up on, until (encouraged by one of my friends) I got back into working on it in 2020.
I don't know what did it; I'd guess it was having someone who could cheer me on and who was also a writer, maybe, but in 2020 I really started finding pleasure in writing again. I finished the fic around the end of the year and got very sweet feedback (which I was surprised about because the topic of the fic isn't something I expected people to care about haha.) I was itching to write more but I was also kind of exhausted. I figured maybe this was going to be my fanfiction swan song, which I was pretty happy about, honestly. I still think it's a pretty good fic.
Then, in 2021, Pokémon Masters EX grabbed me by the throat–
It felt kind of eye-opening. It felt like I was back in 2013/early 2014 and suddenly I was fueled by the raw power of OTP. I reread my unfinished WIP, that I'd continued further from what was posted on AO3, and thought: I can finish this. Not only that, but I can make what I've already written better. It doesn't matter that it's been almost eight years, it doesn't matter if nobody cares to read it. I can do this, for me.
And I did!
Not only that, but it kickstarted me into getting back into writing for real. I posted the finished, rewritten (in parts) version of the fic in November (I promise I'll talk about this in more detail soon,) and then in December I posted another fic about them. Which then brings us to, of course, what this post is actually supposed to be about: 2022.
What I Wrote in 2022 (And Other Considerations)
I started out still riding that high from having finished my long fic, and posted two fics related to it in January, turning it into a series:
* The Pangs of Disprized Love: This one is an outsider POV taking place between two of the later So Long as We Can Say chapters. It was really fun to write, despite the subject matter! The last SLaWCS chapter is actually probably my favorite, as a post-canon aficionado, so getting to write more of that was a treat.
* And With Your Hands Your Hearts: This one is a more or less direct sequel. A marriage proposal... How corny. It felt like what the characters needed after everything they'd gone through, though. I had very strong mental images for this one and I'm still pretty happy with the result.
After that, I got to work on the sequel to Et Surtout Mourir de Langueur, the first part of my mutual pining saga. At the time, I ran into two issues:
— I was embarrassed by the idea of writing and posting smut on AO3. (Yes, this seems insane to me too now.)
— I was worried people would be put off by me writing Lysandre as submissive more "aggressively." (As in, actually making it clear that was what I was going for, and not just implying it.)
Because of this, I started getting writer's block, and found myself stalling after deciding to actually include explicit scenes in (what would become) Le Bien l'Ennemi du Mieux. But something very special would happen to me that month...
Indeed, February is the month I came to know Noah a.k.a. @jonphaedrus. Which seems both so long ago and way too little time. I will refrain from gushing and just say that had we not met, I might have never started posting E-rated works to AO3 and I might have even given up on writing that second mutual pining fic. So there.
Thus, in March, thanks to Noah (and Grey!)'s support, I finished and posted:
* Le Bien l'Ennemi du Mieux: They continue pining, but this time they fuck explicitly. A lot. Way too much if you ask me. The romantic tension does not resolve in this fic and did not resolve period in 2022 but it will in 2023 I promise.
My SLaWCS energy had not left me however, and so after taking a short break I started work on a direct sequel to And With Your Hands Your Hearts, where I'd explore Augustine and Lysandre's backstories at last. This quickly became a multi-chapter project, which I was anxious about because SLaWCS (the original fic) had been my only successful attempt at that, but the fact that I had been successful once – and now had support from a fellow prfr appreciator and author – helped carry me to victory.
So, in May, I successfully published:
* Wisely and Slow: Definitely one of my favorites from the year. A three chapters story about dealing with your demons and finding a new place to belong to in the world. I could talk more about it but I won't... for now. This is the last (plot-relevant) SLaWCS story I've posted so far; the next one is going to be the wedding one and I'm SO excited to work on it. SOON.
Taking a break from longer fic writing, I wrote this treat for Noah:
* That Give Delight and Hurt (Not): I feel like this was the first step toward me going full self-indulgent when it comes to publishing smut. It still has feelings, but there's no pretense of a plot, just two characters engaging in D/s fun. It was my first time posting actual PWP on AO3... emotional...
In June, struck by a sudden bout of inspiration at the very end of a challenge from a Discord server I was in, I wrote 20k in a week:
* Perfect as a Statue, Unadorned: A Xerosic/Lysandre fic where Lysandre is a robot. It's also one of my favorites from this year! Very underrated imo. It's long, it's an AU, it's for a rarepair... so I'm not really surprised, but I do wish more people would give it a try. Oh well.
And then, finally embracing my id fully, I wrote and shared what is probably still the most unhinged thing I've written in 2022:
* All in a Day’s Work: Also known as "Rocket Lysandre free use" which tells you all you need to know. Truly just pure bottom Lysandre PWP. I think about the tag "I Want That Pokémon Villain Obliterated" regularly. I originally wasn't even planning on posting it but doing that freed me from any kind of worry about what I was "allowed" to post on my AO3, because nothing else can come close to it. Also very underrated imo but not for the same reasons LMFAO.
I was slowly getting into the habit of writing regularly, so in July I decided to try my hand at writing short fics/ficlets based on prompts I found or that were sent to me. This way, I successfully wrote five ficlets:
* Phototaxis, Show Off, The Precious Time That We Have, Then We Shall Need Each Other & Aspectabund
I also participated in BDSM Exchange, with a fic! Which was my first time writing fic for an exchange – before that, I'd only done art.
* Viens Me Libérer de Mon Sommeil (Je Suis à Ta Merci): An OT3 (Diantha/Sycamore/Lysandre) fic for Noah! It has all of our favorite things: D/s, Lysandre getting run over, BDSM therapy... I nearly finished it in time for frenchflagshipping day, too, but missed it by three days. Alas.
Powered by pure hubris, in August, I decided to try my hand at Writer's Month... and couldn't pull it off (in parts because I got very, very sick mid-way through.) I'm not going to link all of my fics for that separately (they span from August to December) but I will namedrop a few I especially like. Otherwise, you can check them all out in my series! (Shout-out to the series-within-a-series specifically for the bodyswap storyline, too. I'll finish it in 2023! I swear!)
My favorites from August were:
* My (M37) friend (M32?) keeps alienating everyone we know with the way he presents his opinions: Absolute classic. A reddit post parody. I'd still like to write a sequel/spin-off someday.
* A Comedown of Revolving Doors: Kind of a weird one; I just caught a vibe and followed it without being completely sure where I was going with it. I do enjoy the result though.
* It’s a Mechanical Bull, the Number One: Bottom Dom content for the soul. I still think this one was very big-brained of me. Also the title does not get old.
* Hit Me With the Way They’re Flaunted: It sure is over 3k about Lysandre getting his tits tortured/played with. What else can I say.
August was also the month we started posting courage is the most foolish thing in the world a.k.a. roleswap! I am not involved in the writing (as in, I don't write it; I am definitely involved in the ideas and concepts) but I couldn't not give it a shout-out.
For September, I'll cite this one:
* Something in Your Head You’ve Been Fighting All Along: It's cakeverse. I found out about cakeverse completely randomly and have not stopped thinking about it ever since. I'll probably write and/or draw some more at some point... It's still at the back of my mind.
I also participated in another fic challenge: to write an AU fic of no more than 5k words. It turned out a lot more difficult than I expected; I apparently do not do well with max word counts. Still, I managed to post:
* From the Throat, I’m Tied to You: A very horny soulmate AU. I just decided to write the kind of soulmates I'd like to see in fic, heh. Despite how hard it was for me to get the words out, I do enjoy the result, and it was fun to work on!
In November, I posted a fic for the exchange Fic In A Box! I feel like I've already talked about this one a lot LOL, so I won't get too into it.
* do let the old enmity be: A recursive fic for Noah's main prfr series. It's all in-universe stuff, and probably the most fun I had working on a fic this year. I was very pleased to see so many people enjoy it!
I also kept working on my late Writer's Month prompts, and my favorite for that month is obvious:
* Let Your Backbone Slide: My first time writing trans porn... finally, I can put what I want to see into the world (Dom trans/cis sub, in case that wasn't clear.) I like this one a lot, tbh. I'd like to write a sequel/related fic sometime soon.
Finally, the last month of the year: December! My end of the year was really busy. I had a lot on my mind. Still, I managed to post a few more Writer's Month fills and one very special fic:
* De nouvelles saveurs: My last fic of 2023! And it's in French! It's 12k words of flirting via baking croissants. Before writing a short thing for my FIAB fill, I hadn't written in French in over a decade... so it was an interesting experience. I am pretty happy with the result though! The croissants (quaso) got baked and that truly is all that matters.
I'll finish this off by giving a quick shout-out to the old fics I posted throughout the year. These are the fics I wrote back in 2016, as mentioned in the introduction of this post. Noah slowly encouraged me to post them on AO3, even the ones I was the most embarrassed about. Since they've all been backdated, I don't remember the exact month (of 2022) they were posted on, so I'll just give them to you in their original chronological order:
* Fighting With My Weak Hand: A post-canon story about Lysandre trying to earn forgiveness. (Yes, it was already my shit in 2016.)
* Status Symbol: Car sex.
* A Lesson in Self-Control: Omorashi.
* This Is the Finest Game, It Ain’t Even Got a Name: Spy AU. Very self-indulgent.
* Midas Touch: Lysandre doesn't masturbate. Augustine investigates.
* Give Me Fire, Burning Hell: My original soulmate AU.
Phew. Okay, now that that's all out of the way–
What 2023 Has In Store (Hopefully)
I have a lot of WIPs.
See, at the beginning of 2022, I told myself I'd only have one WIP at a time. That way, I could focus on one thing, and get things done at a good pace. Unfortunately, as I began writing more and more, and chatting with Noah about ideas, I started listening to the devil on my shoulder telling me I could just work on multiple things at once.
...and I could! At the end of the day, "a lot of WIPs" isn't actually even that many WIPs. Still, I have a bunch of stuff I'd like to get done in 2023, writing-wise:
— I have an unfinished SLaWCS smut spin-off that's like two scenes away from being done and has been for months. I really need to get back on that.
— I have, of course, part 3 of my mutual pining series. I'm nearly 10k into that and Arceus knows how long it'll get. But I'll finish it this year for sure!
— I have the few prompts left from my Writer's Month, most of which I have ideas for if I haven't already started them. I will complete it this year (and not give the prompt list for this year a try, I'm sorry–)
— I have a few challenge fics I started and never finished that I might or might not go back to. (One I'm fairly confident I can finish; the other I have no idea where to go with so it might stay unfinished forever. Maybe I'll share what I have at some point.)
— I want to write in French more!!
— And, last but not least, I'm desperate to write more SLaWCS. I want them to get married!! I spent most of the latter half of 2022 writing shorter fics, and I really want to get back to longer works. I want to drop 60k of wedding planning that only five people will read. This is all I need to stay alive.
As for the rest... I'm still itching to participate in exchanges and other fandom events, so I have plans in that vein, but I don't want to give it away too early. I'm very grateful for the support I've gotten this year, no matter the content... Thank you for all your comments, asks, tags, kudos... I wouldn't have written this much without you! I don't know if I can aim for more than I did in 2022, but I'd like to keep at it, at least.
So here's to another year of Pokémon fics... and art! If you've read this whole thing, thank you, too! I appreciate it! 🙏
#samfic#fic wrap-up#i'm sorry for writing so much lmao i wasn't planning on talking this much . you don't have to read it#it is a pretty handy guide to most of what i wrote in 2022 if you're into that tho
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WIP Thursday
Thanks for the tag @hippolotamus I passed out like 3 hours earlier than usual last night and hadn't written anything anyway. Still haven't, because work has been terrible and exhausting this week and by the time I clock out my brain is mush. So until it resolidifies how about another randomly selected snippet from library boy:
His brain has decidedly not taken well to the weird sleep schedule he’s had over the past several days, and halfway through the class he stops trying to pay attention altogether. He pulls out his phone and starts scrolling mindlessly through social media because he doesn’t want to disrupt the class by leaving midway through.
As soon as class is over, he heads to the library. He should be making his way to another class, but there’s no chance he’ll be able to focus. Today is a scrap day, and he’ll reset his brain with a decent night’s sleep tonight and be ready to tackle academia once again tomorrow. But for now, he doesn’t want to disappoint his parents by letting them know he’s skipping classes - although he’s pretty confident they don’t know his schedule anyway - he’s not taking chances, and decides to spend the afternoon in the library, killing time.
The library is packed, but he finds a corner to hide out in, thankful that libraries are by nature quiet places. He lays his head on the table and moments later, jerks awake. He wakes his phone screen to glance at the time, confirming that he didn’t actually fall asleep, at least not for more than a minute or two, tops.
He needs a distraction.
Looking around the library he catches a glimpse of the shelves where he found David’s first note and remembers. He’s not going to get his hopes up, but checking will at least give me a moment of distraction, and walking for a minute might help keep him awake longer.
#wip day#library boy#no idea what i have or haven't shared of this yet#but it's 71 pages so the odds are probably not this?#poor wip has been stuck at 71 pages for nearly 6 months
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Note
ask game
😅✍🛒🛠💖👀🤗
Hello darling! Thank you for the ask (<3)
😅 (What's a story or scene you've created that you're a smidge embarrassed exists?)- God, um, I have this one x reader thing I wrote, and it was the very first piece of fanfiction I ever came up with. I wrote it in eighth grade (T-T). It wasn't super terrible and I didn't say "orbs" instead of eyes even once, I just kind of didn't know what I was doing. No planning took place, it was just a little forced, but I'm kind of proud of myself for just getting it out.
It was an Armin/fem reader thing where they were going to a party dance thing and there was a confession. Kind of like a less evolved version of my recent masquerade fic, actually. I guess I enjoy writing dancing.
I know I was young and everything but I'm so thankful that I hadn't figured out that I could actually post on fanfiction websites yet, I kept writing and thankfully (at least I believe/hope) that I got better.
✍ (Do you have a beta reader?)- I do not. I'm not against it or anything, I just don't.
I do have this one friend that I send e v e r y t h i n g I write to though, albeit after it's published because she's not really an experienced writer (not that she's bad, just not the right person to ask for feedback). She's even read that dance fic I mentioned in the previous question.
🛒 (What are some common things you incorporate in your fics? Themes, feels, scenes, imagery, etc.)- Mutual pining is a big one for me 😭. Whether it's friends to lovers (which is what I mostly write), strangers to lovers, enemies, coworkers, etc. etc. there will always be mutual pining at some point. Even if one has had feelings for longer and I depict the growth of the other's feelings (which I find really interesting).
Also- random- but I feel like hand holding/focus on hand touches is always a light thing I find myself wanting to incorporate. Not sure why.
🛠 (What tools/programs/apps do you use to write?)- I like to use google docs. It syncs to my phone too so I can write on the way to school or in public if I'm bored, stuff like that. Straight up writing in the tumblr drafts scares me, it's too easy to delete O.o.
I oftentimes keep one doc for notes (if it's a longer fic) and write the fic separately.
Fun fact though, when I started out, I was actually using the notes app on my phone. That didn't last long, but I still have my first few unpublished 8th grade fics on there.
💖 (What made you start writing?)- Okay so what made me REALIZE that I liked writing was my English classes in school. I've always been a bookworm- ever since I was a little kid- so it was amazing to me that I was able to create stories and show them to people in the same way real authors could.
So middle school me loved doing creative writing assignments, I always went way over the wordcount, I loved reading books, etc. etc.
Eventually I start getting into fandom, and through internet browsing, I come across fanfiction for the first time.
I have to say, it kind of blew my mind.
It's hard to explain that I never really stopped reading as much as I did in middle school and elementary school, I just read a lot more ~digital works by unpublished authors~ now (and I still do read books, I'm currently reading Mistborn by Brandon Sanderson and I love it).
The rest I kind of already explained. I tried my hand at it for awhile in the notes app, eventually made an account, read, liked, etc., started posting, and the rest is history. :)
👀 (Tell me about an up and coming wip please!)- *Rubs hands together.* Okay, so:
First of all, I'm ALMOST, almost I swear! I'm almost done with the next chapter for my ongoing fic. I'll probably post it sometime next weekend (I don't know if you follow it but there's that).
I'm currently working on a Dazai oneshot with the pocky game (you know what that is, right?)
And then someone sent me a jealous Chuuya request which I plan on completing after my other two wips since they won't take long.
🤗 (What advice would you give to new fanfic writers that are just getting started?)- EEEE! Okay okay!
Dear new writers, WE ARE SO HAPPY TO HAVE YOU HERE. Please don't be shy! Reach out, interact, share your work (if you want to) and there will be people who say hello back!
Remember, don't compare yourself to other writers. We all started at some point. We all had a first post, we all make mistakes, we're all human.
On that note, don't beat yourself up about making it perfect! Getting out a first draft is a great first step. It can include notes, errors, run on sentences, and that's fine because it's a draft! You do not have to be perfect, none of us are.
Do not feel bad about not having the time to write, or even if you do have the time but lack the energy. Take care of yourself first always!
Remember to have confidence in yourself. You created something that wasn't there before and put it out into the world and it's a story and it's yours and that is amazing in every aspect.
Don't give up on yourself, take care of yourself, be kind to yourself, and you will slowly but surely find your place in the writers' community! <3
Thank you again for the asks! I hope all of you sleep well tonight. <33
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WIP Game
Rules: in a new post, show the last line you wrote and tag as many people as there are words
my god @feelymeely it's been ages since i wrote anything and it was THAT piece with leon and sienna. i swear i'll finish writing this filth at some point. but for now i'll treat y'all to a whole section of it :3c
"You've been so good to me, Leon," Sienna murmured into his ear. "Isn't that right?" Leon quickly nodded before gulping in a deep breath.
"Well,I must have done something right to be getting all this." Leon responded with his usual dry humor, making Sienna chuckle. Leon had said he'd be up for whatever she wanted to try, and she planned on treating him good. He turned his head to face her as he tried to chase Sienna's lips with his own. Sienna leant back to postpone Leon's pleasure a little longer. She noticed the slight pout on his lips, and it reminded her of when they'd first met. He'd really had such a boyish, puppy dog look back then.
"Are you sure you're gonna be okay?" Leon asked. Sienna nodded. There'd been a lull in testing on her for the past couple of weeks so she'd thankfully managed to get some strength back.
"I won't push myself too hard, I promise. Besides, tonight is all about making you feel good." Sienna shifted the focus away from herself. She didn't want to think about the numerous bruises and scars littered across her body that Leon hadn't seen. No, she'd protect that secret from him for as long as she lived. Leon, who took the whole weight of the world on his shoulders when it was never his responsibility. Her Leon.
She gave in to his desires, and her own. A brief kiss was all she allowed Leon before she pulled away again. She would tease him a bit first, she'd decide. And then she'd reward him for his patience, and make him forget about everything. All of the shit they'd been through and all of the shit yet to come, so that only she remained. Maybe she'd be able to forget, too.
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