#I fucking love making my spaceships as goofy or out of place as I can
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I absolutely fucking love Spore's space stage. You can make your ship literally anything you desire. Anything.
Like imagine you're knee-deep in interstellar space and then a literal biplane from WWI zooms past you on its way to the next system
#beetle posts#beetle rambles#spore#I fucking love making my spaceships as goofy or out of place as I can#sailboats#biplanes#rockets#you name it#the world is your fucking canvas#and your painting will fly across the stars#well it doesn't really matter much when the 3000 Black Ships of the Grox are trying to kill you.
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The Legion of Super Heroes Reviews: The Legion of Substitute Heroes or Unsung Heroes
Happy 29th Birthday to Me! Yes it’s my birthday which means it’s time for reflection, griping about getting older and cake. And after an exausting weekend of grappling with a growth, i’m not going to go into anymore detail, I can finally, relax celebrate and get back to reviewing. And since i’ts my big day, that means I decided to dedicate today’s reviews to things that mean a hell of a lot to me and in one way or another shaped me as a person. A self indulgant way to reflect on my past, look to the future and show y’all some stuff I really like. So with that out of the way let’s talk about the Legion of Super Heroes.. and their oddball sub team I love dearly.
This is also my first chance to talk about DC Comics on my blog. I’m honestly shocked that in the year i’ve been reviewing stuff regularly, the other half of the big two superhero comic publishers hasn’t come up. While I do tend to lean towards marvel, in part because Marvel is simply better at collecting their stuff and putting it on sale more often, it’s still the home of some of my faviorite properties: Justice League International, The Green Lanterns (Minus Hal), Teen Titans, Wonder Woman, Oracle, Batgirl (All of them, particularly Steph and Cass), Young Justice, Supergirl, my personal boy The Martian Manhunter.. the list dosen’t go on by much but it indeed goes on. I”ve been reading dc comics since I was in middle school, and I haven’t stopped since and don’t intend to stop now and maybe in the next year I can get around to tackling some of their awesome cartoons and comics more eh? But yeah among these titans, including the actual titans, are the Legion, one of the most unique and awesome super team concepts in my humble opinon and , even for DC, one of the teams with the most tangled up histories.
First created in the Silver Age by writer Otto Binder and Artist Al Plastino, The Legion of Superheroes is DC”s first successful teen superhero team, predating the titans by a few years, though I dearly love both wildly diffrent teams. The Legion is defined by their high concept: A thousand years into the future, three super teens from diffrent worlds who happened to be on the same ship with billionare RJ Brande, saved Brande from some goons hired by his crooked buisness partner.
And exposed him. Inspirired by their courage, heart and skill, Brande latter called the three together to form them into a super team, one inspiried by the legends of teen hero Superboy.
No not Conner though it was nice to get to show off my poster of him. While he was part of the second continuities legion, we’ll get to that, he’s not the superboy we’re looking for. He is damn great though and it’s good to have you back bud.
Not Jon either, though I do miss this kid’s pre-bendis version and he was the inspiration.. for another version of the legion. (SIGH). Try. AGAIN IMAGE SEARCH.
......
No not the cool bad boy turned troubled good boy, not the child who was inexpciably aged up by that bald smeghead, and not the great idea turned into a editiorial mouthpiece. I”m talking about THIS superboy.
This is where the name came from: From the silver age till crisis on infinite earths, Clark Kent was active as a kid in smallville, and thus was Superboy, superman when he was a boy. He dealt with similar stories just with Lana replacing Lois, and Luthor as a ginger teenager. And it was these deeds as a teen hero on his own, one of the first honestly, that inspiried the legion and brande and forged the team.
And it was naturally a super boy story where they were first introduced as the legion’s founders went back to recruit Superboy after putting him through some trials, and were intended as just one of many silver age one off concepts.. but caught on with the readers so much they were brought back, and had their ranks expanded and eventually not only added supergirl, yes the one your thinking of this time, to their ranks, and yes sometimes she and superboy were in the same place at the same time, Clark willingly had founding member and telepath Saturn Girl put a mental block in his head for any info he’s not supposed to know yet so it’s cool . But yeah not only that but they eventually became their own feature in Adventure Comics, where Superboy’s stories were published, but overtook him in popularity with time.
Over time a number of distinct aspects were established: The roster eventually got as large as 20 plus legionarres, almost all from diffrent worlds, and they eventually set up bilaws. Some are silly and dated such as “Legionarres marrying means they retire” which was eventually done away with in the 70′s, but others were simple logic: each member must have a unique power, no using weapons and such which rather than be super power snobbery is so said tech dosen’t fail and the legion later fully allowed Karate Kid, a martial artist, to join, no killing.. just common sense stuff that adds to it. And one of those is the centerpiece to today’s story, which we’ll get to in a moment.
Obviously given they’ve been around since 1958, there is a LOT more to the Legion’s history I will dig into at a later date: The short version is that Crisis on Infinite Earths, Dc’s first big reboot, fucked the team up badly by retconning superboy out of existance and dc editorial made it worse by shooting down EVERY solution the team came up with to fix the issue. So eventually things got so messy they nuked the whole thing during the event Zero Hour and rebooted fresh with Mark Waid taking the helm and updating the concept for the 90′s and being a more lighthearted, if still not without weight, comic in the sea of 90′s edge. Waid would reboot the team again due to sagging sales, a far weaker reason this time, with a more rebllion slant, the original team would be reinstated, and then ended for a while before recently being rebooted by Brian Micheal Bendis... who sadly is long past his creative prime from books like Ultimate Spider-man and alias and is instead stewing in his own toilet dinner these days and thus it’s not pretty.. well okay art wise i’ts VERY pretty, it’s just story wise it sucks dirty ass in thunder storms. There was also an awesome cartoon that sadly lasted only two seasons that I will DEFINTELY be digging into, especially since unlike x-men evolution, it’s not you know 50 some episodes and me biting off way more than I can chew but a slim 26 that still has fans to this day. I”ll get into ALL OF THIS, some ohter time hopefullly and I mostly outlined it since some of you might be familiar with another version or “Sigh” the reboot and this helps clear things up.
So yeah with all that out of the way we’re going back to the silver age and the first story I ever read of hte team, how I met them with “The Legion of Substitute Heroes” and a later subs story I genuinely love. I first read this story in one dc’s old expensive archives collections I got from the library. Oh how I miss the library. Your probably wondering who the legion of susbstite heroes are.. but since the first story covers that we can jump right in after the break!
So we open with a teen in a parka uniform disembarking from a spaceship from another planet, which a passerby notes is just like the airplanes people used to ride from country to country.
But we meet our hero, Polar Boy, whose in a winter themed outfit and has come to try out. This is the tradition I was saving for now: The Legion Tryouts. Like a club or sports team would, but I like it because it makes sense: The Legion NEEDS to be as big as it is because while their headquartered on earth, their mission scope is anywhere in the united planets which spans GALAXIES. They could be called on any time and need their full force or need to have severa l members on a smaller mission and frequently having members away on a mission was cleverly used to reduce the cast to whoever was needed for the story.
So it only makes sense to frequently look for new membbers to help strengthen their ranks... but given their teens and are recurting teens they need to be careful and need a logical way to reduce crowd flow. I mean you saw how many people used to line up for american idol before that died a justified death, people will do anything to be famous and they need to weed out those whose powers and skill just aren’t up to snuff yet, or those who are just dicks as, unsuprisingly, several stories have been built on assholes who applied and were rejected turning evil and attacking.. even though the Legion wasn’t even paticuarlly harsh. They also are more than fair as applicants CAN try again or if they prove themselves in other ways can be let in, as Bouncing Boy, my favoirite legionarre, was intially rejected for his power of .. well...
Yeah.. on paper inflating like a ball and bouncing around is kind of silly. In practice he can ricochet off enemies, walls, and obstacles and is fairly durable in that state. It’s why I don’t really brook mocking the guys power: yes it’s goofy.. but say that again when he hands you his ass. It’s the same with matter eater lad who yes is an actual character: While being able to eat anything is gloriously goofy.. it means he can chew through ANY substance and digest ANYTHING. Hell in the cartoon episode intorducing the subs they used both of these guys to great efffect: Bouncing Boy, who in the cartoon had to try out multiple times in his backstory, encouraged the future subs while Matter Eater Lad got in by EATING A FUCKING BOMB. He also had shades which I dind’t know he was missing but now I do. My point is the process is fair and well thought out and leads to some really fun scenes.
But yeah joining the legion is naturally Polar Boy’s dream, as he walks down the avenue of heroes, basically a series of statues honoring the legion and hopes all his hard work paid off. We then cut to the auditions, where he apparently waited all night. What I like about this story is that unusually for the silver age legion where it was mostly a sea of powers attached to a bunch of cardboard, really the dc silver age in a nutshell and why marvel broke out so much for having more dynamic and realistic characters, Polar Boy has more of a personality. It’s not MUCH but he’s a dedicated, hard working kid who just wants to join his heroes and seems really in awe of htem, a feeling we can all relate to. We’ve all had people we’ve looked up to, admired, and we’ve all had groups we wanted to join as kids, teens or what have you. And of course.. we all know what it’s like to be rejected by someone or something you badly wanted to be a part of. And that’s what happens to poor polar boy, who comes from a world with an intense sun thus his people developed super cold powers.. but he can’t control them well so while their impressive, they also freeze the legion. HIs powers are good... but due to their strength and radius he’s also a liablility. They give him an consolation anti-gravity belt.. they had these before eventually compressing them into the much cooler flight rings.. which I still desperatly want one of. I have the flash’s costume ring and a green lantern corps ring, but still no legion ring.
Naturally this devistates the poor boy and he wonders around dispondent till nightfall, convinced he’ll never be one of them. He soon meets Night Girl, a fellow reject with super strength given to her by her dad’s formula.. but only in darkness as she’s from a world without sunlight. She also faces a “hopeless future” but it’s then Polar Boy’s true strength reveals itself: he decides screw giving up on their dream and if they can’t be in the legion they’ll start their own Legion.
Though not to compete but to serve as a subtistute, in case the legion is ever incapacitated. So Night Girl gathers the other rejects the next morning. Cleverly one of them, Chlorophyll Kid was seen with Night Girl herslef at the tryouts behind Polar Boy. We soon learn about them and each of their origins: Stone Boy can turn himself into an immobile stone statue, as his world has half a year long nights and thus his people hybernate, Fire Lad who can spit hot fire literally and set anything combustable on fire and Chlorphyll Kid who can make plants grow rapidly. Each were rejected for resonable powers: Stone Boys powers too static, Fire Lad’s is too dangerous and Chorlpyl Kids toos pecific. But upon seeing all of this Polar Boy says they STILL have fantastic powers and still can help people and the legion.
Thus the Legion of Substittue Heroes is born. And I love them as much as the originals. As a bit of a misfit myself I relate to these guys: They have strange specific powers, got rejected by the big team.. while that trope is nothing new at the time it was unique and even now it’s a nice and inspiring message. Instead of giving up they form their OWN team to do what htey can anyway. They might not be the best like the legion but they can still help and still do what’s right even if not on their scale. It’s a great concept and really makes them endearing. Again I have a thing for the underdogs but I still really like these guys. It’s why it annoys me they got kind of spat on with time: While I love Keith Giffen and Paul Levitz run on the legion, and feel it’s the best of that contnuinty it’s not without fault and the two basically spent a full issue mocking the team and split polar boy off from them before making their own subs with only ONE of the originals. It just felt.. disrspectful. And so far no continuity has used them again until the recent bendis run, which has them announced for the Future Slate special. It took BENDIS, who dosen’t get how to use the team properly and is up his own ass, to bring them back in a new continuity and I find that obnoxious. The subs are a great concept and deserve to be honored as such and as such are one of my favorite superhero teams.
But their careers don’t start well as they doubt themslves, except for Polar Boy who boisters them along, and constnatly just end up going to missions the legion already has covered and when the legion go to fight some robot ships, they refuse the subs help.. which is fair though, as Brainy puts it they can’t risk putting untrained volunteers in harms way. Their about to just quit, in a really sad moment.. when CK, because I can’t spell cholophill and hate having to use spell check notices some odd seeds spread about.. and when he grows one a horrifying tree man shows up. They struggle with it till the setting son finishes it’s job, meaning Night Girl is at full power and whollops it and the subs spend the night destroying the seeds.
They find out the next day the seeds came from the same planet as the robot ships, meaning the ships are a distraction for whoevers doing this and since they can’t just call earth, as the full force of the legion is needed with the robots and all it’d do is cause a panic, it’s down to them. Night Girl however is scared.. and I like that. It shows that while their regaining their confidence.. it’s sitll risky. Their a bunch of barely trained fanboys, and girl, going up against an alien invasion, with it down to them. They CAN save the world but it’s alright to be entirely terrified when your thrust into it this fast.
They make their way to the planet, having built a ship earlier and lie low, finding out what’s going on: The plant men are fully intellegent, and grow themselves..though how they know to attack and go to the bathrom and what not out of the seed I don’t know but I assume it’s a genetic thing or they might be some form of hive mind. point is the seed plan is to grow troops all over the world via rockets for an invasion, and it’s a brilliant concept for one too. Aliens who simply GROW the troops right into battle, born with the knowledge to do so, and right where they can ambush them. It’s down to our heroes and Stone Boy, whose been the most pesemistic, valiantly dives in to provide a distraction so they can destroy the factory and the seeds. Turns out he is useful as the most the treeple have is a space lead pipe.. yes really. I love the silver age. But they’ll bring ray guns soon, so Stone BOy knows it’s a suicide mission and now our heroes have a timer. But luckily.. our heroes are stronger than they think. Night Girl punches a way in till Night passes, while Polar Boy and Flame Lad use their powers in concert to make an opneing.. but with time running out Polar Boy finishes things by having CK grow all the seeds now they have acess.. thus exploding the planets population, destroying several cities from the number of bodies, and thu discourguing the treeple from trying again. Stone boy is able to flee with the rest of our heroes and the day is saved.
The heroes opt not to tell the public, as to take away glory for the Legion. It’s a noble gesture.. they do DESERVE credit, but they choose not to take it, preferring to let the legion get theres for stil lsaving the world from the robots. They stand firm, now confident they may someday make it to the big leagues.And it’s this that really makes me love them: Thier not the strongest or best, but they try anyway for the reasons a hero should: to help people, and not for the glory. THey remain unsung heroes and are fine with that.
Eventually the Legion WOULD find out about them, but naturally instead of being dickheads about it, fully accepted them, even offering them some contests for membership, but that’s a story for another day. THey’d remain stalwart allies and valuable backup in crisis situations for years to come until the bollocks outlined above. But they’d never leave my heart and thanks to them.. the legion never left either.
Final Thoughts:
While I do love the story for it’s personal signifigance to me, It’s stilll a really good story for the time. A bit stilted as was the style, but still good, well paced and with an endaring cast of underdogs who prove themselves in the end. It’s something diffrent from the usual clean cut ahead in life wasps these stories usually followed at the time. While the team’s still all white and all that, their outcasts and misfits who just want to help and have trouble beliving in themselves. Their a good standard to live up to.. and a good inspiration for me and my constnatly self hating self doutbing self. And I hope you enjoyed htem too.
If you’d like to comission your own review, just dm me. It’s 5 bucks for individual issues. Later days.
#the legion of super heroes#the legion of substitute heroes#polar boy#fire lad#night girl#chorophyil kid#stone boy#silver age#comics#comics reviews#birthday
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tuesday again
weird week!
listening Xenia by Graham Kartna, i’m trying to build out a playlist for the beamsaber campaign i’m playing with the ttrpg crew- i have not played the video game that goes along with the track bc VR makes me nauseous.
this is bright, bloopy in a very early nineties point-and-click soundtrack way, and a little goofy. which imo fits our campaign in my brain bc we have very little idea of what the fuck we are doing at any given time. play to find out, motherfuckers
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reading Scarlett St Clair is a hell of a pen name.
look. sometimes your best friend bullies you into reading a silly little modern Au greek mythology medium burn antagonists to lovers junk food romantic novel. the best way to read anything is at the same time as another person, screaming over texts and sending screencaps and telling the other person to hurry up or slow down.
it was fine. the writing quality drastically improves over the course of the novel as we get out of backstory dump. the author is pulling a stephenie meyer and doing a side book from hades’ perspective, since this is a persephone-perspective trilogy, and i think that’s very good and funny
watching i had not seen Alien (1979, dir. Scott) before monday night bc 1) i am not good with body horror (anxiously played Pocket Camp on my phone for a lot of this film) and 2) it’s hard to find with subtitles until @andmaybegayer kindly reminded me i can download a subtitle file and APPLY that to a movie. technology and you!
peak spaceship design imo- big, cluttered, a million little tactile things and switches, like an airplane cockpit with urban sprawl. i love in the first couple minutes before everybody wakes up as we tour through the ship and see all these tiny motions- the drinking bird perpetual motion toy, the overshirts shifting near the vent, various toys and mobiles gently sproinging as the ship moves. the Nostromo feels lived in- big big fan of futuristic tech that looks like it’s been around and repaired and jury-rigged for decades.
man, i really miss my makerspace. i miss having to think about protective gear and jumpsuits and the second i feel safe leaving my house and see a hot butch i will swoon
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playing- i am only able to play bioshock in fifteen minute chunks and i am not entirely sure why. spoilers for a thirteen year old game: not out of the fisheries yet, haven’t seen the bathysphere bit, still have two little sisters in the level to save before giving peach his camera. is getting frozen in the meat lockers before or after this level? i THINK it’s right after peach betrays you but i cannot place it in my mental timeline
making fallow week
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mtmte liveblog issue 22
oooh man, its time to feel some EMOTIONS!
I'm BACK after a hiatus, which was due in part to me getting my 1st dose of the covid vaccine! woohoo!
anyways, starting here w/issue 22....we have a great cover w/thunderclash, the legend himself
oof. the covers made me forget how much I don't like the art this issue...I hate to be mean to the artists but this art style just isn't doin it for me chief
god I love this issue though. the framing device of rewind’s movie is so so fantastic
tailgate listing off all his fake awards/accomplishments....ily
rodimus my boy, you're a prime in my heart
the ‘not a decepticon’ label for cyclonus is so much hvbhkjfbskjf
I literally wanna comment on every single panel bc I love all the characters so much but then id be here forever...that being said whirl ily sm
hvbjdfbhsfjhdfshja BRAINSTORM ‘according to perceptor - ships genius’ hvhdkjhbfhjs ily dumb gay idiot
and then the cut to perceptor after brainstorm like, blew up his lab vjbkdsfnbksjf dude
GODDDDDD drift ‘your name...defines you. it’s your soul expressed in syllables. hm? oh, yes, sorry. it’s drift.’ GOD he’s so fucking funny. I love early story hippy drift
god I cant stop thinking about how good this whole issue would be as an animated show...like, specifically rewinds film, it would be SO FUCKING GOOOOOOD mtmte show WHEN
rewiiiiind ;_; I fuckgin love rewind god. fellow video editing enthusiast....
ohhhh rodimus being embarrassed about his big speech at the beginning of mtmte....my boy I love u so much
gjhnbgehjsrkfbjksf magnus being suspicious of rewind oh my god. magnus ily but please, look at the lil guy, he’s a good boy, most of the time
the fuckgin footage that magnus removed hbvhakjbfhskf god. wasn't that intended to be footage of magnus dancing? I love him
minibot squad.....
and here it begins, the mystery stick rung question...
poor rung oh my god he’s just trying to polish his lil spaceship and people r throwing shit at him. taking Ls as per usual it seems
hand grenade tag hvbfjksdnfbkjdf love that callback
noooo rungs ship :(
magnus’s censorship vhbhadkjfhdbhjsakjhfn
oh man I forgot about how they met that race of Transformers But More
the one-upsmanship hbvkajsbehfjks
whirrrrrl lmao I love whirl sm
goddddd whirl just killing that other alien and ending the 16 million yr long civil war bvkjsdbfhjjkafs so fucking much
oh god oh god the ‘are you happy’ page, I'm not emotionally equipped to handle this like, ever
but I will say I feel like it would be EVEN MORE oof if it were milne or someone drawing it bc I feel like this art style takes away from some of the impact bc the expressions aren't really that...expressive? idk how to put it
anyways. every single answer destroys me!!! like even the happy ones, like chromedome and rewind and tailgate - well, in present time, none of those three are doing so hot, so that makes this just hurt
and rung....that is so fucking depressing. jesus. this guy is so fuckng sad, somebody get him a friend stat
and swerve...ouch. this readthru I've really noticed how much early-mtmte swerve is not-so-subtly like, crying out for help bc he’s so alone and shit. jesus
also brainstorms response is just plain ole sad w/context, but at this point in the story without context, it just seems very foreboding lmao. I'm realizing this readthru that brainstorm is very sketchy and ominous in a particular ‘is he evil?’ mad scientist sorta way in early mtmte
and then everyone else is also just so OOF in their own unique sad ways, but I think the worst out of everyone is drift....GODDDDDD. especially considering that at this point in the story, drift is this kinda goofy hippy guy, so seeing him just sit there with his face in his hand, not even answering the question...AND knowing that shortly after this he’ll end up banished...IT FUCKING HURTS M8!
meanwhile, the more upbeat ‘quest to see rungs alt mode’ continues...with an ‘alt mode party’ vhbadkjsdfnabskjf it looks so silly with a bunch of cars just sitting around a table lmao
I cant even tell who everyone is bc they so rarely turn into cars n shit lmaoooooo
rodimus with the bucket on his head hbvhakjbfskjf I CANT
everyone’s reactions to thunderclash...i fucking love it
the fact that TAILGATE doesn't hate him, even though we’ve seen that tailgate tends to dislike people who are universally liked/who have achieved a lot of impressive things
rodimus you petty thot vbdkjbfdjhsakjdf ily
RODIMUS IS SO FUNNYYYYYY ‘I'm not making all these sacrifices and leading these guys into battle and being inspirational - I'm not doing that because it makes me look good’ RODIMUS VBHSKJDFNBKSJF
thunderclash talking about magnus’s article on typefaces....hdbksjfsdbkjgfb bro
AND THEN MAGNUS HUGS HIM....HGBSKJFDSHFKD I CANT
POOR DRIFT bvhajkdfbhjkjsfd rodimus saying he ‘rehabilitated him’ oh my god
the whole spectralism thing...im sorry I cant get over how funny all this is vbakdjfbksjf thunderclash rlly b out here charming rodimus’s entire crew
and then ratchet comes in, calling tc ‘thunders,’ and tc immediately notices ratchets new hands (somehow) hvbkjfhbskjf truly amazing
it cracks me up that rodimus is all 😒😒 at thunderclash, even though as we come to find out, tc really IS That Perfect, and him complimenting rodimus isn't sarcasm at all lmao
AND THEYRE LOOKING FOR THE KNIGHTS OF CYBERTRON TOO HVSDHFJBSHKHDFJS OF COURSE
the vis vitalis being a life support machine spaceship is a really cool concept tho
‘rescuing some orphans from an exploding sun’ I fucking cant
evil guy: [holds a gun to thunderclash’s head]
rodimus: :D finally something doesn't go his way!
he’s so petty I’m..........dkdjhfdabhduifadijgl
and its the aliens from earlier! oooh
GODDD I forgot that swerve used rung in mystery stick mode to SCHWACK the guy
rung casually dropping the fact that the functionists like, experimented on him...there's a lot of implications there, and that'll certainly be explored more later...
the fact that his ID card says ‘rong’ hvbhjakhdsbfakhsjfn
oughufadkfujbsfk the circle of light throwing wrenches n shit at skids...guys cmon vbhsdjkfnslfd
the circle of light is like ‘wtf you all have trauma and a bunch of weird unhealthy coping mechanisms this is wack byeeeee’ lmao
skids calling the lost light his home is rlly sweet tho
cant believe the religious space hippy cult is being so rude about a film made by a guy who died like a week ago. unreal
cd finally figured out how to make the pffft sound, good for him
AUGHHHHH the fact that rewind used ‘little victories’ as the title of the film and that's something that chromedome said in the video ;_; I'm fucking inconsolable
rodimus, despite his obvious posturing for the camera during the whole issue, comes off as surprisingly genuine when he says that he hasn't thought about his own future much, but wants the crew to have a happy ending....im gonna cry
‘who knows what's around the corner?’ tailgate, PLEASE don't say that, oh my god,
OUGHHHH GROUP SHOT
OHHH mannnnNNNNN i love this issue SO MUCH. what a good fun emotional rollercoaster wrap-up to mtmte s1. god.
like, this issue has it all - humor, drama, crippling sadness, intrigue, worldbuilding...it’s so excellent
and getting to see rewind again hurts so bad but also I love him
ok quick mtmte s1 retrospective...god s1 is so fucking good. I'm gonna have to read more to say which chunk of mtmte I liked best but s1 is so fucking excellent that it might be my favorite. though its hard to pick bc there's so much good stuff later on too...whatever, the point is s1 is so so good
the plotlines and characters are fucking stellar. like I cant even believe how well Everything works, its very impressive. I cant really think of anything major that made me go ‘yeah could've done without that plotline/character’
I love how dedicated jro is to connecting everything. I've mentioned it before but basically every single moment in the series has payoff - what you initially think is just a funny moment, or a fluffy character establishment bit, ends up ALSO being an important plot point later, in some way
an example would be here w/rung and his alt mode - it just seems like a fun little B-plot for this issue, and seems to pretty neatly conclude with the reveal that rung was eventually classified as an ‘ornament’ (lmao)...but we later on get to see a lot more about this, both here and in the functionist universe
and like, stuff like tailgate’s autobot lessons w/magnus - at first that can be seen as purely character establishment stuff, showing that magnus is a strict rule-lover and tg is a loveable try-hard good boy - but that becomes plot relevant in remain in light, with tailgate saving the day due to his knowledge of the autobot code (and its also character relevant, with magnus’s arc in remain in light).
and I know this is like. a normal regular thing in writing, but I'm just very impressed about how cleanly jro pulls it off, and how many things he’s juggling at once, especially in early mtmte - it’s very ambitious!
and we gotta remember, this is a comic book. I've read a lot of comic books, and the quality is all over the place. a lot of writers bite off more than they can chew, and the story ends up kinda scattered as a result.
another thing I see a lot in franchise writing like this is a lack of strong early character establishing due to the author assuming the readers are at least somewhat familiar with the characters already - which can be totally fair depending on where it is in the continuity, but other times it can come off as lazy
in mtmte, the cast is extremely well fleshed out, and not only that, the cast itself is unique in that there are a lot of relative unknowns (franchise-wise) - which I think was an absolutely brilliant move, because then jro was able to essentially create The Definitive Version of these characters - characters like swerve, brainstorm, chromedome, rewind, tailgate...mtmte is their baseline characterization, because they haven't really appeared in much else
this also allows for deviation from the franchise norms - again, a comic book classic is good writing being stifled by a need to stick to a certain status quo regard the characters, the world, the powers, relationships, etc
(I've mostly read DC comics, and some marvel, so I'm thinking superheroes w/all these comic comparisons)
so mtmte had a good recipe for genuine creativity in that the characters were relative unknowns, the plot was basically ‘space road trip,’ the status quo of ‘autobot vs decepticon war’ had been demolished throughout the entire franchise...so jro was able to take all that and run, and it turned out so fantastic
and luckily it isn't over yet! so many comics suffer from premature cancellation...and sadly mtmte/ll isn't exempt from this, as we’ll see later, but I've seen some awful ones, where comics are forced to wrap up in like 2 issues while in the middle of an arc. yikes.
but another comic staple...one of my least favorite things about comics books in general...something that was basically responsible for driving me away from comics after reading a bunch...the dreaded crossover event
yep, even mtmte isn't immune to this unfortunate plague on the comic industry. crossover events are the absolute worst, and I'm saying this as somebody who adores crossovers (in concept more than execution usually). they SHOULD be my favorite, but unfortunately they p much always completely suck
they're essentially a ploy to get you to read the other ongoing titles, but they usually only serve to bog down whatever story you're reading to the point where you don't even wanna read that one anymore, let alone read all the other ongoings. at least, that’s been my experience
it doesn't help that reading orders tend to be hard to find/keep track of, and that you need to go read the other series to know what's going on. I just hate it, like, I came here to read THIS series, I don't want a bunch of other series showing up too - even if I was reading two series, I wouldn't want them crossed over, because they're separate stories! augh!
I'm totally losing my focus here but my point is...crossover events suck, and mtmte unfortunately is involved in one. I have not read dark cybertron, and I'm not about to. I've heard nothing but bad things so I have no desire to inflict that upon myself
soooo ill be reading through the tfwiki articles for those issues to give myself a better understanding of what went on - which is more than I've ever done in the past - and maybe ill even make a single post summarizing my thoughts on what I read in the wiki, lmao
but yea ill be skipping to the mtmte s2 stuff next
phew ok I'm super tired, my vision keeps blurring out and stuff lmao. its time for bed, I probably have more thoughts but ill save them for later. for now...peace out!
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Ready (a fluffy, soul-soothing, friends to lovers, Malex fic coda)
For long months now, they’ve been friends.
It had been a rocky start, involving some awkward get-togethers and near insurmountable tests of self-restraint at times. But they'd done it - they'd settled in to a new type of relationship together.
Neither know when it happened, for it could not be pinned down to a finite moment, but over time things had become easy between them - they could hang out, they could laugh, they could build and enjoy a new shared history. And they'd discovered that when they had things to talk about besides their painful past, they could, in fact, do a lot of talking - or at least as much as can be expected from the strong, silent, types they both are.
~~~
“Thanks for hosting tonight, Alex,” Max says, “Just going to collect Liz and head out-- Oh, meant to ask, where’d you get your BBQ? I loved it, and I’m in the market for one.”
“No problem, thanks for cooking.” Alex says, “And the BBQ is from Costco. On sale in the winter.”
“Nice, well, thanks man," Max says just as the party stragglers begin to stream into the kitchen.
“Ready to go?” Max asks, turning to Liz.
“Actually we’re all calling it a night. It’s starting to get chilly out there,” Liz says.
“I offered to start a fire,” Michael shrugs.
There’s banter and laughter as the group says their goodbyes and heads towards the door, but Michael finds himself not paying attention, instead concentrating on Alex, who has been squirmy and quiet around him all evening.
“Night, Alex,” Michael says with a small wave, trying to act as normal as possible, even though this discomfort isn’t normal for them, not anymore, and Michael's worries have settled like a heavy pit in his stomach over the last few hours.
As Michael attempts to slip by, Alex catches his arm and speaks quietly. “Can you stick around?”
“Yeah,” Michael manages to say casually, nervous but relieved to at least know he isn't imagining things. He hangs back discreetly as the rest leave.
Alex takes a deep breath as he closes the door behind the last guest, leaning there for a moment before turning to face Michael.
“So, what’s up?” Michael asks cautiously. He’d forgotten how much he hates the feeling that he and Alex are on unsure footing, now after being so stable for months. It terrifies him how that may have crumbled in one evening.
“I’m ready,” Alex says plainly.
“Ready for…?” Michael says slowly.
“Us.”
“Us?”
“I’ve being working through my shit this last year," Alex explains as he sways nervously, shifting his weight from side to side, "And… now… I can’t go live the rest of my life without having given this thing with you a try. An honest to god try.”
Michael exhales hard and looks away, running a suddenly clammy hand over the back of his neck. “Alex…”
“Look, I know we’ve never been on the same page at the right time. But I’m here, on the page-- on our page,” Alex says, words tumbling out a lot faster than he'd planned, “And if you’re not ready, if you still need to figure stuff out, I’ll wait. I’ll wait and I’ll help you, if-- I mean, of course, if you want to try too. If-- if you want me.”
Michael smiles that big nervous smile of his, the one that always breaks across his face whenever he wants to hide, when he's torn between laughing or crying.
“Alex Manes, when I was 17 you made me feel for the first time like there might be a place for me, like earth could be my home, like I could be happy here. And ever since then I've been chasing that feeling, tryin’ to find it again, building a frickin' spaceship because I couldn't-- I couldn't find it again... except..." Michael shakes his head ruefully, "Except those few times when you’d blow into town and take me to bed and-- I don't mean to say it's about sex. It's not. Because I had that feeling before we-- you know, just you being nice to me, giving me a place to stay and a guitar? Man, that was everything. And now when we've been friends I get to be close to that feeling again and it's--" he pauses to take a breath, "So… yeah, I guess what I'm saying is, I'm always going to want that. I'm always going to want you.”
“Oh…” Alex says, or rather breathes the wisp of a word, trying to process.
“I'm sorry. That was a lot," Michael huffs out a nervous laugh and lets his lips creep into a small, genuine smile, "I thought I'd try this new thing where I actually say stuff…”
“No, it's good," Alex assures him, taking a step forward, almost involuntarily for the want to wrap Michael up in his arms, "Saying stuff.”
“Ya? Good. Because how I felt tonight... I knew there was something off and I was freaking out," Michael admits, wrapping his arms around himself instead.
Alex smiles sympathetically, "I'm sorry, I decided today was the day and I was nervous about bringing this up - I didn't mean to telegraph it to you all night."
"It's okay. Maybe it should tell me that putting all of that," he waves his hand in the air, "home and belonging stuff on you is too much. I need to find it in myself, you know? And-- fuck, am I drunk or what because I don't even know what I'm saying," Michael blurts out, diving for the cover of humour.
"Nah, I don't think this is drunk Michael talking. I think it's emotionally-mature Michael talking," Alex says, quirking an eyebrow but sounding a little proud.
"No one's ever called me that before," Michael says with a lopsided grin.
Alex beams at him, "Get used to it if you keep up with this 'saying stuff' business."
Michael actually blushes at the praise. He rocks back on his heels, buying some time to collect himself. But Alex, a little anxious, preempts him, circling back to the more serious issues.
"Like I said... I'll wait. Because we still have our shit to work on..." Alex admits, further closing the gap between them and reaching to take Michael's hands in his, squeezing them comfortingly, massaging gently over the scarred one, "If you need to figure some things out for yourself first..."
"No need. I'm emotionally-mature-cowboy now," Michael says slyly, slipping his hands from Alex's and sliding them around Alex's waist, drawing him closer.
Alex laughs, trying to suppress the flutter in his gut radiating out from where he can feel Michael's warm hands through his shirt.
“So… how do we swing this transition from friends to lovers?” Michael asks, licking his lips before plastering his most flirtatious, goofy, smile across his face.
“That would be lovers to friends to lovers,” Alex corrects him playfully as he closes the gap between them, his hands falling softly on Michael's chest, their hips almost touching.
Michael smirks and leans in, “Does that mean we just keep doing what we’ve been doing for months... except that I get to kiss you good night?”
“And good morning…?” Alex adds shyly, not sure if it's too much too fast - he's had time to process this, Michael hasn't.
But Alex gets his answer when Michael smiles so big he feels a little embarrassed for how revealing it is. Alex grins softly back, slowly, deliberately, sliding his hands up Michael's chest to his neck, then jaw, until his thumbs touch the corners of Michael's lips, the caress silently telling Michael how much Alex likes this smile. This smile that's all joy, this smile that's not a wall.
Their lips meet, and it’s like their early kisses: gentle, but needy, and full of hope.
They part moments later, already breathless.
“Damn, we were always so good at that,” Michael chuckles.
Alex hums in agreement as they sway together, foreheads touching, trying to take in the moment, trying to grasp that this is really happening.
“I’m a little nervous,” Michael admits with a gulp cutting through the silence, “This kinda feels like the first time…”
"Yeah," Alex agrees, because for the first time since then, their love feels elevated above the pain and sorrow, not tangled in it. And for that reason it takes all of Alex's strength to make an offer to which he hopes the answer is 'no'. “We can take things slow, you know, if you want?"
“Slow enough to make it to your bed, maybe…” Michael quips.
Alex laughs, and kisses him again.
[Emotionally-Mature-Cowboy action figures are now available at your local Costco.]
Check out my other Malex fic on AO3 - my author name is "Saadie" or you can copy/paste this link! archiveofourown.org/users/SaadieStuff/works
#Malex fic#my fic#happy#fluff#coda#future fic#canon compliant#emotionally mature cowboy#malex#roswell#roswellnm#roswell new mexico#my malex fic
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my villain pet peeve and Infinity War
So, I saw Avengers: Infinity War last Friday and I’ve been reminded once again why I dislike most villains.
Spoilers ahead.
Now, watching Infinity War started sucky. Because they kill Loki before the Title even shows up on screen. That made me a bit mad for multiple reasons.
I only saw Thor: Ragnarok once, so I had no idea that the after credit scene was “Thanos shows up”... I mean, I knew when I watched the movie, but only because I watched one of those ‘prepare for infinity war’ videos on youtube. So, right off the bat: Continuity.
Now, controversial opinion: Why not put that not-even-five-minute scene at the end of Ragnarok? I mean, Marvel wouldn’t have had to hire Tom Hiddleston for Infinity War, which could have saved them money, I guess? More importantly, it would have helped with continuity, because I can promise you I would have remembered Thanos offing Loki. Also, there would have been the additional tension of ‘Do Loki and Thor live?’ Plus, I would have loved to see the spaceship destroyed and not being thrown into a pre-destroyed spaceship.
It kinda deadened me to the following deaths. Like, we killed a dude in the first five minutes. I expect copious amounts of blood flow... and didn’t get any. Like, people, uh, died, but it was Loki, nothing, nothing, nothing, Gamora, nothing, EVERYONE... and without blood.
This makes the fact that we get little to no reaction to the people dying another problem I have. Like, Thor sheds a single tear ... and Star-Lord punches Thanos because he killed Gamora ... Thanos cries one single tear ... and that is all the emotional reaction we see the characters have to the deaths. Sorry, but that doesn’t exactly move me ... which might be a failure on my part.
Then there is the fact that there are a few character points that irk me.
Scarlet Witch and her inability to prioritize. Seriously, your boyfriend is begging, begging you to kill him because it’s the only way to prevent genocide and you choose smoochies over the universe? I get that she’s lost a whole lot of shit over the course of her life and doesn’t want to lose any more people, but Vision has ... knowledge and thinks about things. He’s arguably the mentally most skilled of the bunch and still smoochies top genocide? Cause I’ve seen a review where someone actually called Wanda decisive and I was screaming at my monitor that “NO! She literally waits until the very last fucking second to kill her boyfriend, that is NOT decisive at all!” Plus, wouldn’t it have been so much more devastating (read: interesting and having emotion-potential) for her to a) realize when they get to Wakanda (cause they would’ve gone there anyway) and b) make Thanos have more power and make him less likable if he’d turned back time for more than 2 minutes? and having Scarlet Witch realize that she even though she killed her boyfriend and has been struggling with that for more than fifteen seconds, that sacrifice was for naught? I mean, she disappears a minute later, so there is no emotion there ... Plus, that stupid stupid stupid scene that was all about Scarlet Witch and Vision being a couple? After we’ve last seen them in civil war and we hadn’t even had confirmation that they’re together, did we have to spend ten fucking minutes on them being all lovey and in an established relationshps? I realize, partly that’s me being not all that interested in Scarlet Witch, a character that showed up 2 movies ago, who has been nothing but that antagonist that joins the team late in the game and whose powers we don’t even actually know a lot about, because nobody has spent time developing her. There has been no movie about her, nothing. She’s been a side character for 2 movies. Nobody gave either Hawkeye or Black Widow a truly impactful role in the last few movies, and we know so much more about them than we know about Scarlet Witch. Mostly, I just hate that she’s nothing more than a plot-device and everyone treats her like she’s the second coming.
Star-Lord punching Thanos, because EMOTIONS. I was sitting in my theater when they almost pull off the glove and telling Star-Lord not to fucking punch him. Yes, it was predictable as fuck and dear God did I want to see Thanos besting the heroes after the took off the glove, but nooooo, Star-Lord had to be ~overwhelmed by his emotions~ after finding out that Gamora is dead, and hit Thanos in that one moment when they could have succeeded. I was so angry at the little twat.
Dr. Strange giving up the Time Stone after explicitly stating that he’s definitely going to sacrifice everyone to keep the stone safe, he gives up the stone to Thanos. Like, dude. Really? I thought you understood priorities.
Dr. Strange’s last words are something along the lines of “Sorry Tony, this was the only way.”, which ruins the whole thing. He looks at 14 Million possible futures. And of course, there is ONE future where they win. He couldn’t have said, like, seventy-five? Like, ALL the stars have to align to win. 75 out of 14 Million is still not a snowball’s chance in hell if you’re talking probabilities and it would have sounded less ... you know ... farfetched. Now, that’s not my biggest problem, because that doesn’t take you out of the movie in the very last moment of the movie. You only remember that later when thinking about it. Which I greatly prefer to having them shove the fact that the whole movie was pointless because of course they’re gonna win, because Dr Strange has put everything he can into motion and he knows they’re gonna win.
Now, Thanos. Thanos, Thanos, Thanos. Let’s summarize what I remember about Thanos pre-Infinity War: In the Avengers after-credit scene, Buffy/Angel-Wesley tells us/Thanos that fighting Earth’s mightiest heroes would be a great way to ‘court Death’. Now, me, a person who hasn’t read the comics, I went on the internet and did a little bit of research (not a lot^^) and found out that Thanos is in love with the anthropomorphic personalization of Death and wants to court her via killing as many people as he can, as gifts to her. Which felt like a cool thing. So I was a bit disappointed that they dropped that angle entirely. Which we find out when we find out that Thanos wants to bring balance to the galaxy.
And that means I have to downgrade Thanos from villain-status to antagonist-status. Imagine my disappointment when instead of Buffy’s “the First Evil”, I got “The Initiative”. Now, both are kinda scary concepts and valid and stuff, but one of them bit off more than they could chew while the other just ran out of people they could manipulate. Plus, one’s embodied by Nathan Fillion in my head and the other by ... Marc Blucas. I had to google that because while Riley was a character on Buffy for 31 episodes and Caleb only for 5, one of them made much more of an impression than the other.
My problem with Thanos as we see him in Infinity War is that he’s misguided. JUST misguided. And I despise misguided villains because most of them aren’t done very well. I understand the desire for villains outside of run-off-the-mill bloodthirsty insanity, but in my head, Thanos is just a person who uses the wrong ends to achieve the same goal as our heroes. Saving the universe. Granted, the heroes’ need to save the universe only arises because Thanos wants to save the universe, but the goal is the same.
I’m not saying that the end justifies the means, but the Thanos we got to know during that movie (that feels inappropriately titled, because, really, shouldn’t it be called ‘Thanos’?) sees his way as the only viable way after experiencing Titan’s downfall. Therein lies my problem. We see Titan lying in ruins. True, there could have been any number of reasons for that, but operating on what we know is Thanos’s level of knowledge, Titan was destroyed because of overpopulation and no way they devised of countering the overpopulation helped. The rationale that killing people, aka Thanos’s way, is the only one that works is sound. Which makes him the hero of the story. You know, the one that makes the hard choices. The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few. Sure, a nice side-effect, he feels, is that people are going to thank him once they realize that what he’s done is great, but that’s not his main objective.
Thanos is too human for my taste. In a bad way. Red Skull was human once, but the way we see him in Captain America dehumanizes him while making him a villain. A goofy villain, sure, but a villain nonetheless.
This is my first problem.
The second one is speculation based on what I know about books and movies and stuff. Namely that after that scene with baby Gamora looking all disappointed in Thanos, the logical way this is going to continue is Thanos is going to realize that he made a mistake and will want to make amends and put everything to rights. And that would really suck because if you want to make Thanos into a hero, don’t market him as a villain.
Redeeming villains has its time and place, sure, but not fast. Please, let there be character development first...and please don’t do that in a superhero universe when you’ve built the guy up for the past ten years.
I mean, I get that there’s other ways to go with the story. I really hope I’m wrong, but ...
My third problem is not with Thanos himself but with our heroes, who, although they should have learned that just punching people isn’t any kind of solution, that’s the only way they even think about solving their problem. Like, I would have expected at least someone to be like “He’s talking about saving the universe. Shouldn’t we, like, try and convince him that killing people is not the solution?”, and then maybe someone to say “Don’t you think there are any number of people who tried that?”, but as far as I can tell, there is nobody who’s ever stood up to Thanos with anything other than violence. I’m not a pacifist, I actually like action movies and the violence in them. Like, from a distance. But nobody ever even talks about a different solution. We have time to establish that Scarlet Witch and Vision are in a sex-having relationship, but we don’t have time for that?
I also don’t know what Thanos can do with the Infinity gauntlet, because nobody says what all that entails. Yeah, he can manipulate reality, but what does that mean? We only ever see him do shit that temporarily affects shit, so ... what? As The Film Theorists pointed out, Thanos could have just doubled everything except the population, but can the gauntlet do that? Other people pointed out that the people aren’t actually dead, just sucked into the soul stone, so is that whole “doubling shit” even an option?
My biggest problem is that I can’t really root against Thanos. Especially when none of our heroes even tried talking to Thanos. Like, sure, they don’t get the chance, but they don’t even consider the option of not waging war. They don’t ever try to find a solution. Sure, he kills people by the billion, but he doesn’t do that for his own gains (as a proper villain should, in my mind) but for the good of the universe. I fucking hate that. Like, Voldemort and Umbridge and Ultron and .... others I can’t think of right now, are actually malicious. Not just ... goal-oriented.
Well, not true. My biggest problem is that all of what I just listed detracts from the good things about infinity war.
Like, the story is actually quite good. The characters fit together well. The chemistry between the characters is great. The banter is great. The visual effects are great. Everything but what I listed is outstanding in my mind.
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The Phantom Menace
Allow me to argue in favor of an unpopular opinion. Not because I’m a troll, or a staff writer at Slate, or for the lulz, no, because I genuinely mean it. Until very recently I didn’t understand I had this opinion, and, now that I know I do, felt like coming clean with it. So, in the nature of full disclosure, I need to say that The Phantom Menace is the best Star Wars movie of all time. Ok, fanfolk, catch your breath while I reiterate: The Phantom Menace is the greatest Star Wars movie ever made. Period.
Now why do I say this? Before we get mired in the analysis, let me disabuse you of a particular frailty all-too common in modern criticism: this has nothing to do with my own memories or experiences with the film. Need proof? So, back in 1999, when TPM was released, I was 20 years old. Still living in my hometown. Still part of my family’s life. My mother and I had a plan to see the movie upon its midnight release. Not thinking she had the stamina to make a late night showing, I blazed it up with my pals before the event. Even dropped some LSD. So, when mother arrives at the cineplex, and I try to weasel out of sitting next to her, a rather tidy scene of pathos and aggression occurred. Long and short of it? I sat through my first viewing of this particular movie next to my mom, who was - perhaps rightly? - pissed at me the whole time. Better still, in the other adjoining seat a guy I knew back in grade school, though our individual paths had diverged geometrically after 8th grade (at the time I was reading Plato, trying to suss that out, while he was busy getting married, or brought into his father’s company as the heir apparent, so). I don’t recall what I thought was worse at the time; the movie or how I saw it. In any event, not altogether the best time I’ve ever had at the cinema.
Right. After that, until very recently, I, like most who have bothered watching these films, understood TPM to be one of - if not the - weakest of the bunch. Why? First there is an opening crawl discussing taxes and trade routes. Then there is the wooden acting and clumsy script. Racist stereotypes abound. Casting a nine year old love interest for a twenty-something queen. Jar Jar Binks.
Many felt that fame, fortune, the freedom bought by such things intoxicated Lucas, allowed him to create a movie with no oversight of any kind. Many argue that it was this freedom, this purely unlimited access to resources, buzz, final cut, that produced a movie, lightsabers notwithstanding, that had absolutely nothing in common with the first three. It is my observation that it is exactly these things that make TPM the true high-water mark of Lucas’ foray into that distant galaxy. Because, I would like to make the argument that TPM most accurately reflects Lucas’ vision of Star Wars, and, as such, makes it the perfect film in that series.
Before we go further I must speak a plain truth. Star Wars, whatever else it is now in the cultural milieu, is, at the heart, a cheesy Saturday B-matinee. It is not grand or profound. Does not probe the human condition or ask tough questions. Was built solely to entertain. It is fluff. Vapid. Lucas, as creator, knew and knows this. This fact is at the foundation of TPM’s greatness.
If we accept (and we should) that Star Wars has always been a goofy spectacle meant to kill a few hours and nothing more, then we begin to see the proof of TPM’s achievement. Did the fanfolk read more into the original trilogy than Lucas ever meant to be read there? Absolutely. Responding to this egregious mis-reading of his gift to Modern America, Lucas set out to set the record straight. Do you think a classically vague, and all too common, story about a gang of ragtag rebels against a tyrannical empire has a deeper meaning? Ah ha! Lucas retorts, well then feast on a trade dispute on a planet you’ve never heard of! What!? Taxes don’t get you hot and bothered? Well! What if we add a couple of completely competent, if lifeless, Jedi Knights to the mix (cheers to McGregor and Neeson though: the Jedi have never been better)! Watch them try and talk to a bunch of folks about other people’s problems! Watch as they befriend a cartoon’s cartoon that’s just there to keep the kids quite while the adults get serious about political machinations a world away! Did you like how alien and weird all those background characters were in the first three? Here are some more aliens that you can tell are aliens because they talk in a very alien way! No, Lucas seems to tell us, it’s not racist at all for an alien species to seem like a racist stereotype - because they’re aliens - and once again, there you fanfolk go projecting onto my work. Or maybe, like some actual human beings living on this planet, you took all that ‘force’ talk seriously? Great! Luckily it’s both religion and science (fatherless birth, Midi-chlorians) so whatever you want you crazy bastards! It’s my party and I call the shots, Lucas appears to be bellowing in every frame. Did you like how I did a ‘will-they, won’t-they’ romance before? Fantastic. Here is a tiny child macking on a grown ass lady. And she likes it. Oh, and I never really gave much a damn about spaceships, Lucas reminds us, just cars, really, so here are some space cars and a race because fuck you. Hold on, did you really dig that creepy villain with a narrative through-line last time? Here is a villain with none of that. Now watch as he kills your new favorite Jedi. And just in case it wasn’t clear enough, all of you who somehow think The Empire Strikes Back is a movie with coherent drama and heart, allow me to show you what acting can’t be. I will say though, that Lucas clearly loves his laser swords. Nowhere in the Star Wars cannon is there a better duel than Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan versus Darth Maul. I mean, there just isn’t.
And a lot of that might sound like snark. But it’s not. It’s recognizing Lucas’ genius in purely deconstructing his own masterpiece in front of, arguably, the biggest audience any movie has ever had. Yet, it’s not just the chutzpah needed to pull off such a feat that assures TPM’s place at the top of the pack. It’s that it is finally and truly the most pure representation of the vision Lucas had for this story. It at once tears down the shiny mirage of Star Wars in the public consciousness and restores that image with its hidden Platonic form. While it is true Lucas sold his story to Disney and is no longer in charge of it, a fact dictating that whatever happens next in the saga has nothing to do with his vision, for those six flicks that bear his indelible mark? Only one can truly claim the honor of representing Star Wars at its most Star Warsiest.
A fact that is neither menacing or phantasmagorical.
(For the record, I drew the above image back in 1999 before seeing the film)
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Embrace the Apocalypse with Me’s 400 Follower Negan Challenge
Hey there friends! I didn’t see you come in...Who me? I’m just sitting here...definitely not in my underwear listening to this...
Wait...a 400 follower Negan challenge? Who said anything about that that?! Oh, It was me? Just a few days ago, you say? Well then, let’s get this party started!
I finally hit 400 followers and I’m gonna party it up with a Negan Challenge! Without further ado, here are the rules:
1. You can create anything you want using one of the prompts below. I don’t care what format it’s in (poem, short fic, multi-chapter, drawing, sculpture, music, interpretive dance, basket weaving). Go nuts!
2. The deadline is Friday, September 1, 2017 at midnight Eastern Time.
3. Send your prompt choices to me via an ASK! If you send it any other way, I will ask you to ASK me for the prompt. ;) It’s first come, first serve and there are only two slots for the prompts.
4. Write any version of Negan you want! Fancy some TV!Daddy!Negan? Rock on! Prefer goofy, crass Comic!Negan? Fuck yeah, pals, me too! Wanna go with something completely outside both of those boxes? I love you! Make it happen!
5. I will be giving out prizes (haven’t decided on physical or virtual prizes yet) for the following: Most Likes, Most Reblogs, Most Comments (this will include comments on reblogs and replies). Writer comments and my comments/likes/reblogs will not count. Only reader ones will be tallied and only until the deadline.
6. Oh shit! I almost forgot to say tag me in your fics as you post ‘em and also tag the fic with #embracetheapocalypse so I can find it!
On to the prompts! I’ve got 5 categories with 5 prompts, and each prompt has two available slots:
Category 1: Shuffle Playlist (Inspired by songs on my actual playlist)
You Don’t Own Me - Leslie Gore (1 slots open, @jdmfanfiction)
Golden Slumbers/Carry That Weight - The Beatles (2 slots open)
You Know I’m No Good - Amy Winehouse (1 slots open, @asshatry)
The Man Who Sold The World - David Bowie (1 slots open, @sherrybaby14)
Enjoy The Silence - Depeche Mode (Full! @jeffreydeanneganstrash @lupienne)
Category 2: A Long Time Ago in a Galaxy Far, Far Away (Opening Lines)
“I told you not to come back...” (Full! @jdm and @doyouhaveavacancy)
“Why don’t you come over here and make me!” (1 slots open @dusty-cookie)
“Oh, for fuck’s sake, Negan!” (1 slots open @flames-bring-a-ton-of-ash)
“Put that thing the hell away, would you?!” (2 slots open)
“How do you take your coffee?” (2 slots open)
Category 3: Gimme Half Your Shit (Items to be used in the piece)
Cell Phone (2 slots open)
Paper Clip (2 slots open)
Photograph (2 slots open)
Beach Ball (2 slots open)
Banana (1 slots open, @daintyunicorn)
Category 4: The Twilight Zone (AU’s)
Horror (From Frankenstein to Freddy Kruger, everyone likes a good monster. Now let’s do a Negan remix with one!) (Full @lucifers-trash-stash and @superprincesspea)
Sci-Fi (On a spaceship? Alien invasion? Robots? Go nuts! Please, please go nuts with this one!) (Full! @roguesandsavours and @ladylorelitany)
Fantasy (Like Game of Thrones but with more swearing! Or Dungeons and Dragons…with more swearing! Or Lord of the Rings…but with-You get the picture!) (2 slots open)
Chick Flick (What if Negan existed in a world of “Meet Cutes” and talking about your feelings?) (2 slots open)
Wild West (Who cares if westerns aren’t in vogue right now? I want a cowboy Negan!) (Full! @thedeadwalks and @84reedsy)
Category 5: The Before Times (Pre-Saviours fics! I am laying down the gauntlet and asking you to envision Negan before he had his back up dancers-eer..I mean army!)
Here’s Negan (any fic that takes place during the events of Here’s Negan) (1 slots open, @thicmcdaniel)
School Days (any fic that takes place while he was working as a teacher) (Full! @wideawakeandwriting, @crowleyismysugardaddy)
Lucille (any fic involving an alive Lucille) (Full! @genevivedarcygranger and @redheadedwhat)
College (before he was anything, he was a student. But was he a frat boy or a nerd? Or the class clown? You decide!) (Full! @blog-stephaniewolff-stuff and @losercowboy)
Used Car Salesman (Ok, so this was never really substantiated, but maybe he sold cars to put himself through school? Or to pay for Lucille’s cancer treatments? Let’s see what his life selling quality used vehicles was like!) (2 slots open)
If you have questions fire away! Also, please share this to get the word out! :)
Tagging folks who liked my status: @neganfiction @dusty-cookie @rickdixonandthefandomlifeposts @superprincesspea @shadesofarrogance @i-am-negan-trash @84reedsy @flames-bring-a-ton-of-ash @daintyunicorn @lucifers-trash-stash @ofdragonsanddreams16 @kellyn1604 @smakka--bagms @to-pick-ourselves-up-7 @superbasementflower @losercowboy @azanoni @lupienne @supernaturally-lucky @strangersangel9 @scrumpescapes @warriorqueen1991
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The Kim and Kim first volume review
First issues reviews were a bad idea and that first review was not good. There was a lot of things I wanted to say to the thing and kind of offer kind of a half-mumbled apology for only focusing on white dudes writing shit (with I ment), and I did. But for some and reading back on it it came off as embarrassingly sincere to me, and sincerity is the death of art. To appreciate anything, everything must be appreciated with a cold detachment. I wish in the future to become less of a human and more of a fugi who can appreciate stuff by just putting it on the skin.
So, let's talk about Kim & Kim. Now that I've read the first volume, which although I promised myself I'd stop spending so much money, was I think a worthwhile pick for me on this. Kim & Kim is about a bounty-hunting team comprising of ... and get this, 'cause this is a shocking connotation ... two bounty hunters both named Kim. In a future that almost would be 100% present day if there weren't stuff like spaceships and necromancy, and 12th-dimensional beings.
Kim & Kim's humor is definitely on the modern variety of humor. This is the type of thing that wouldn't exist without the reveres of internet, and specifically web comics. I can definitely tell this is a web comic, and definitely if it was posted on the web of the web comic, I wouldn't tell the difference.
That's not to be an insult. Some of the best comics right now out in the Ether are from the web indies. That's the new indie, hip, cool alternative place to really get it. What I'm saying is this is a thing that's godard - what a fancy cosmopolitan reference you're doing – godard was talking about this in Hiroshima Mi Amor, but now the influence is definitely out of the stuff ... and comic developers' been influenced by other media as much as by itself, but this is definitely something I can feel influenced by the outside.
You've got a little bit of Star Wars, you've got a little punk rock, and obviously Tank Girls is a big influence in this comic, but ... you know what I'm saying? And it's full of what I call x and y jokes, which, the world is full of oddities, and the characters are perfectly aware that the world is full of oddities. I mean, there's stuff that makes the 10-year-old in me really happy, like first the issue has cybernetic gorillas and all that fun stuff.
First arc in the thing, and then there's a second arc, but there's really only one arc, and I'll get to that. There's really only one arc in the whole thing. A 12th-dimensional octopus thing is stuck in our world, in our dimension, and is trying to get back, and the Kims help him out. They repeat this joke twice, and the first time I thought it was funny, and the second time I was irritated by it, but thinking back on it I know why they've done it.
So, that ends with the octopus dude who can morph into stuff, who they've been friends with, pointing a gun at the Kims, demanding that he take them to the 12th dimension, and then boom! Just as there's going to be a big action scene, you know what happens? They cut away and just them explaining that, and then they go out and eat with friends and stuff, and then it's like, "Okay, that's a pretty funny joke, right?" The audience demands action, they come in for the action like, "This is the climax of your whole arc" and then, "Eh, screw it, you don't want to do it." And I laughed at that. That's a funny joke. I love that stuff. I love subverting the audience's explanation.
Then the last issue of the first volume, they set up a new guy under the term Frank. Now, Frank is a big hush-hush mysterious person spammer, the scum of the universe type. And nobody knows where he is, and in the end, they find him, and it turns out Frank is a monkey-like man, and that's what the deal with was with all the robotic monkeys in the future that have been attacking them the whole time. It's like some revenge thing to a past thing. And then, bam! Big action scene. And they cut away. It ends with them having a cutaway to the bounty-hunting office, them explaining what happens. Frank apparently dies in the battle and the only thing they have is his foot.
Now at this point, they've been broke, the whole bounty-hunting thing ain't working out in the end. One of the Kims' parents has to pay for their rent, and she gets very sad about this. They hug each other in the end. So, now, this initially irritated me 'cause it's like, "Okay, you did this joke once. It's funny, but it's not super funny the second time." But I think about it further, and I'm thinking about this, and I finally glommed on and realized what this is. I mean, it's not subtle in some ways. You don't got to be. It's a funny joke, don't get me wrong. The brown-haired Kim, she was a necromancer, which was said to be a stable job, but she's complained that necromancy can kill a whole town. It happens in an earlier issue where she tries to do it. The way they talk about bounty-hunting is like they're talking about artistic people, like, "It's not a stable job, it's not a real job." which is whatever. I've heard that before in my whole life. I'm not bitter.
So here's the thing. That's compared to the relatively benign world of the artist to the stable corporate job that hurts people by doing their job. You know, the real job whatever. That's a pretty, I think, a fun parallel. Here's the reason why they're cutting away from this, and what I think is actually quite smart, is this is the classic young people's story. It's specifically a modern young people's story. Besides the spaceships, there's really nothing to differentiate from the time of what's going on right there, presumably far in the future, and now, even the spaceships look like not-spaceships, like there's the occasional alien, but really it's just people.
So, by cutting away, it's focusing less on the innate action of it and the struggles that the young people are going through, which is a relatively smart thing. The climax of the story is not the big action scene with the genetically-enhanced ape. It's the realization that brown-haired Kim, tragically, her dreams of making money as a bounty hunter really can't sustain, and she has to depend on her parents, and that's why she breaks down crying.
I mean, there's a discussion about she has rich parents that she can call to, and that's a kettle of fish I don't feel like getting into, but I think that's secretly brilliant. That's like the classic young people's story, and when I say the young people's story I don't mean the coming-of-age or teenagerism. Well, there's technically coming-of-age, but for teenagers, college-age people, the life has just begun. The new adult, I guess is the technical definition. So I think that's kind of a relatively brilliant story idea and concept, and I very much enjoyed that. It was funny. Some of the humor is not exactly my cup of tea, but I found a lot of the jokes funny. Did it gets criticisms Yeah, no work's perfect. Anybody who tells you that is a bad critic. I don't know if the cursing is all that necessary. I'm not like some prude who's like, "Ah! Cursing is the fucking worst." but I did feel that sometimes it was a crutch. Honestly, the story would be perfectly fine for 13-year-olds without that.
So, what the story is, and the first saga, is a drama about the trials and tribulations against the backdrop of an epic war in space, and where this is the trials and tribulations of the new adult, the young person, against the backdrops of a wacky, goofy comedy. I really dig that. I don't want to oversell this thing and say it's a masterpiece unquestioned but it's a fun read. You'll have a good time reading it. I would definitely recommend it for whatever you want to recommend it for. So, Kim & Kim, I give it a recommendation.
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NES GODZILLA CREEPYPASTA - CHAPTER 5: ENTROPY (PART 1)
[directory]
face giveth, and face taketh away.
[source] [triggers]
In the original game, the 6th world was Pluto. Ironically, despite being the smallest planet, Pluto was the largest and most diverse world in the game. Entropy had a different layout, but was similarly huge and diverse.
The board music was played by a violin instrument, a melody that started out sounding mournful and then it gets rather...I guess I would call it "distorted"? It made me feel depressed and unnerved. Not something I would want to hear while trying to sleep.
Strangely, none of the levels from the previous worlds were present here, instead there were eight brand-new icons. The bosses this time were Megalon, Battra, and Mechagodzilla.
As usual, the first thing I did was go to the Quiz Level for another interrogation from Face. But I when I got there, I noticed something different; instead of the usual goofy GH1D0RA music, it was the Password theme.
The music change seemed to be intentional, because after the first two questions at the start, the quiz started to take on a darker tone;
Quiz 3
Do you like Ice Cream?
Answer: Yes, Reaction: Weird Face #1
Do you like clowns?
Answer: Yes, Reaction: Weird Face #10
Is time slipping through your fingers?
Answer: Yes, Reaction: Weird Face #2
Do you have any regrets?
Answer: Yes, Reaction: Hurt
Do some people deserve to die?
Answer: No, Reaction: Weird Face #3
Is it safe to go out at night?
Answer: Yes, Reaction: Weird Face #5
Do you find it hard to sleep at night?
Answer: Yes, Reaction: Weird Face #9
Have you ever killed anyone?
Answer: No, Reaction: Weird Face #7
Do you want to kill anyone?
Answer: No, Reaction: Angry
Are you actually accomplishing anything?
Answer: No, Reaction: Weird Face #4
Does life have any real meaning?
Answer: No, Reaction: Love
Do you like Mothra?
Answer: No, Reaction: Maniacal
I knew that last one was gonna be a gameplay related question, but I had no idea what the result would be. I answered honestly, because as I said before I never liked Mothra.
Nobody liked playing as Mothra in this game. And there was a good reason for that, every other time Mothra gets hit she gets slammed back to the left corner of the screen, and she sucks at fighting because her attacks are so weak. The only benefit Mothra had was being able to fly over obstacles in some levels.
So I answered No, and Face actually replied back to me, not only with the maniacal expression, but with text;
"TOO BAD!"
I was taken back to the map screen, and I was shocked to see that Godzilla and Anguirus has disappeared from the board, leaving only Mothra. Face had just fucked me over. Needless to say, I was pissed. But there wasn't anything I could do, and I'm willing to bet even if I had said "Yes", I would have been stuck with Mothra anyway. Face giveth, and Face taketh away.
I took a deep breath, and got ready to explore. There were two paths I could take through the board, I decided to take the lower one. This turned out to be a good choice for reasons I'll get to momentarily.
The first world ahead me of was a forest, so I started there. Almost immediately, I got an eerie feeling. There was something about this level that just seemed "off" to me, even more than the previous ones.
Perhaps it was the pitch black background. I've always been afraid of being in a forest at night. Something about all those trees, makes me feel surrounded and vulnerable.
And the fact that I was stuck as Mothra didn't help. Playing the game's previous worlds as Godzilla gave me a feeling of bravery, being in control of the King of The Monsters, I'd be able to handle just about anything in my way.
But it's not like that with Mothra. No feeling of strength, or security. Now I'm just a weak, easily overwhelmed bug, traversing into the unknown.
Back to the level. The music had new instruments, sounding like woodwinds, followed by slow, rhythmic drums and chiming bells. Gave me this feeling that I was intruding into some dangerous place I really should not be.
After a while, I encountered the first enemies of the stage. Or at least I assumed they were enemies. They were strange, long legged deer like creatures. Instead of attacking, they were just idly walking around. I went to approach them, and they ran away.
I thought about shooting one with an eye beam to see what would happen, but it seemed wrong. These creatures were harmless. So I passed over them and continued through the level.
About halfway through, I encountered groups of the deer-like animals, and also two new creatures: A sloth like creature with a beak climbing on a tree, and hairy raptor-esque beasts that were preying on the deer.
It was very surreal watching these creatures interact. I didn't feel like I was playing a video game, but rather that I was traveling through a forest in some other dimension.
The creatures ignored me for the most part, although the raptors did attack me when I got too close, or if I attacked them first. I know I shot one of them to help one of the deer creatures escape. I got clawed at, but confrontation was easily avoided by flying up to the top of the screen.
After that, I had to choose whether I wanted to play the levels with the hourglass, or the TV screen. I picked the latter. What I got was not at all what I expected.
When I pressed the button to start a level on the TV Screen like I normally would, this screen with an animation popped up. There was also music in the background, which was the goofy Gh1d0ra music that used to be playing in the Quiz levels.
I was somewhat unsettled by this because it was just so strange. I also found it a bit spooky because I had a shirt that looked just like that when as a kid. After starting the animation, you could go back to the board by pressing any button.
After that, I had no what to expect of the rest of these icons. I went to try an hourglass icon next. I was somewhat relieved when an actual level came up.
It was certainly an unorthodox looking level. All brown, with time measuring instruments floating in the air and gigantic grandfather clocks in the background. The music was the same as the board screen.
And very early in the level I encountered something else I didn't expect to see: Original enemies from the game!
And not just that, it seemed to be a whole fleet of them. And the yellow tanks, which were normally immobile, could now move. I took some damage, but it was nothing I couldn't handle. But the most interesting thing about this level was the colored hourglass items.
There were 3 of these:
A blue hourglass, that made time slow down and filled the level with enemies from the past.
A red hourglass, that made time speed up and filled the level with enemies from the future.
A green hourglass, that set time to the normal speed, and filled the level with the original game enemies.
I encountered the blue hourglass first. As stated, the game started to slow down, and I saw the "enemies from the past", which were five different types of prehistoric animals. I don't know much about prehistory, but I believe all of these enemies represent real animals.
The level went into another segment, and I encountered the green hourglass, and then I fought the original enemies again. It was the same five types so I didn't take any screenshots. But in the last segment, I encountered the red hourglass, and the enemies that must have been from the future.
Now, whether or not the game was showing me 8-bit renditions of creatures that will actually exist thousands of years into Earth's future, I have no idea. But with that thought in mind, I found this particular segment to be very eerie, and it was made more tense because everything moved faster.
One of the future enemies bore a striking resemblance to something I saw in a book once, called "Troodon Man". Another looked like some kind of organic spaceship.
There was only one of the fifth type of Future creature, and when it appeared, all the others ran for their lives, leaving me alone to battle it.
It could fly but its sprite didn't actually move, and its single attack was firing a lightning bolt from its "face". Even so, it was surprisingly powerful, and I suppose it could be considered a mini-boss.
After defeating it, it left a health power-up that restored the health and energy I had lost fighting it. Which was convenient! It seemed I would need all the help I could get to beat this world with Mothra alone.
After that previous stage I call "Time Warp", the next stage appeared to be a Toxic Waste Dump.
As you can see, the place looked grungy, and inhospitable. The music was a short looping of an ambient synthesizer song. Listening to it made me feel like I had sniffed some toxic fumes myself, and it was messing with my head the whole time. I even felt like I was choking while playing this level.
The enemies all seem to be mutated to some degree. In the above screenshot you can see green mummies with bird skulls, that jump out of the waste to spit projectiles. There's also a brownish cow skeleton monster with spider legs.
Halfway through the level I even saw one of the deer from the forest. It was alone, and when I saw it, it was drinking toxic waste out of a barrel with an anteater-like tongue.
I was moving over to try to make it stop, but then this flock of skull birds came out of nowhere and started attacking.
The deer was scared by this and ended up running off the ground into the toxic waste. I feel bad for it. One of the birds bit me, but I regained health quick from killing all of them, they were rather weak.
I pressed onward. Of all the levels in Entropy, this was probably the most "normal", in that there was little deviance from the "Move forward, smash things" formula in the original game.
I encountered more creatures through the level, like tentacled blobs, and some kind of deformed thing with human-like teeth. I didn't feel like provoking them into a fight, so I kept on flying near the top of the screen. I still had to deal with occasional flock of birds now and then.
At the end of the level was a large, bluish green lake, and there I encountered another mini-boss. Some kind of a monster with a long neck and a whale's skull. It attacks with a mouth projectile, and by charging into you. It also could go underneath the water and rapidly emerge from a different place.
It was harder to beat than the boss from the Time Warp, and it had a lot of health because it must have taken me three minutes to defeat it. It let out a really loud noise when it died, and then sank back into the water as I left the screen.
Back on the board, I went to the nearest level icon I hadn't seen yet, which was a white tree. As I guessed, the level was a winter themed recolor of the forest stage.
But unlike the regular forest, I didn't feel unnerved starting this one. I think the music had a lot to do with it. It was a gentle, calm song, it almost sounded romantic. It was quite stress relieving, and the forest itself looked much less ominous covered in snow.
I traveled through the first segment enjoying the atmosphere for four minutes, when suddenly I realized something: I haven't seen a single creature since I started the level. Where are all the animals? Soon after, I left the screen, and the next segment started.
In the second segment, I was still in the winter forest, but now the music was gone. I was starting to feel suspicious, but then I reminded myself that there were other empty levels in the game and this was likely another one of those.
But then...I heard something familiar. It was the twelve second looping music from "UNFORGIVING COLD" starting up. I could feel my heart sink as I came across this horrible sight:
It was a whole group of dead deer creatures, covered in snow. Judging from the blackish blue tone of their skin, they must have all frozen to death. On closer inspection, some were missing body parts. Now I was frightened. But I still had to keep going.
Before exiting the level, I was really hoping to see something resembling the previous forest animals in a living state. And sure enough, I did.
It was a creature much like the beaked sloth, except this thing had white fur and was more of a beaked gorilla. It was walking very slowly when I saw it, but I was happy to at least see something alive. However, it didn't stay that way for long.
A pack of raptors, who must have sensed that something else was still alive, came rushing in from the right side of the screen. The beaked gorilla didn't stand a chance, as one of the raptors immediately lunged at it and ripped open its back legs.
These "winter raptors" acted far different from their temperate relatives. While the other raptors only attacked while hunting prey or when provoked, the winter raptors seemed to have all gone insane. They attacked everything in sight, one was running back and forth clawing at nothing. Even the noises they made sounded different, more high pitched and enraged.
As I left this second segment, I even saw two Raptors fighting to the death. They were both covered in injuries, and one of the Raptors had been blinded in one eye. I took a screenshot, but I didn't stay to see who won the fight.
I only had to get through one more segment before I could go back to the board screen. But in this segment, I was no longer in the winter forest, but instead a very empty grassy plain, with a bright gray moon in the sky. The pleasant music of Winter Forest part 1 had returned.
And immediately, I started to feel dread. This is going to sound crazy but it's the absolute truth: The game made this level from one of my memories.
After a long stretch of nothing, I reached a lake. And then, the moon moved down from the sky, and begin to hatch like an egg.When it did, a curled up humanoid figure fell into the lake as the moon halves quickly disintegrated.
I heard a splash when it hit the water, then a moment of silence. Then the screen began to shake, and a new creature emerged from the water;
And thus I was introduced to a monster I call the "Moon Beast". This was the only screenshot I took, as I was focusing all my concentration on winning the fight. And it was the most difficult fight yet. Stronger than any of the previous bosses, this creature would have been hard to take down with Godzilla, and with Mothra it seemed nearly impossible.
I suppose I would consider myself fortunate that the beast lacked any attacks like Gigan's saw, because if it had I would never have won this. I barely had three bars of health when I finally killed this abomination.
But what happened afterward is hardly what I could call a reward.
...I've been trying to keep my promise and suppress this memory for years, but it seems as if I have to get it off my chest. This is a very painful memory for me, but the game already knows about it and I think you should too. I'll just tell you the important parts, because I don't like bringing this experience back into my head unless I have to.
Back when I was in Middle school, I had a girlfriend named Melissa. She suffered from some kind of mental disorder that caused her to go into "episodes".
When she was in an "episode", she would stand or sit perfectly straight and still, and her face would instantly lose any expressions she had before. She would speak very clearly, without any hint of emotion. When it was over, she would start trembling and sometimes bury her face in her hands, and remain silent for several minutes. I can't really convey the feeling it gave me in words, and I won't try. You had to see this in person to understand.
But despite this, she was a very kind person and I cared about her dearly. We liked to hang out in a field at night, and look at the stars. But one night she didn't say anything to me at all, she just stared directly at the moon, trembling. I tried to talk to her, but she suddenly sprung up, and ran right into traffic. I tried to stop her, but I was too late. She got hit by a truck, and was killed that night.
I looked her right in the eyes when the wheels went over her neck. That sight has always haunted me.
I know that the game knows about this because after I defeated the Moon Beast...this happened.
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Memory Prompts: Siren (Pt. 1)
🌈- A memory about when they first fell in love
“The first time? Must have been about fifteen, I think?” She scratched her head. “Was about two years before the ravagers came through, yeah. There was this Fili’ion, a beautiful bright orange, who Gram saved from the sale block. I think it was the two mouth thing that caught my interest first, ‘cause they would sing my favorite songs, in harmony, or mushed all together. They said it was ‘cause it made me smile, and no one had really tried to do that since I had been dropped off. Gram wasn’t mean, but she had other things to do than try to keep a buncha orphans smilin’. But anyway, their name was Rouched, and they were damn sweet. Best friend I had in there, couldn’t help but love ‘em. Don’t think they loved me like that, but it’s alright. I was happy to take anything I could get. Besides,” a grin crossed her face, and she elbowed the man next to her. “Made it so I was used to waitin’, eh?”
🌋- A memory about their first heartbreak
“Heartbreak?” She laughed, hollowly. “Had to be when my parents told me they didn’t want me, and dumped me in an orphanage, because I was an abomination, wouldn’t it? That was fun...” A swirl of ink left her mouth as she whistled, whisking the bottle of booze that was making its way around the circle. A few chugs to protests later, she passed it on, and continued. “You know that feeling yo get, when you’ve done something exciting, and want to show your parents, ‘cause you just wanted them to be proud of you? Yeah, it didn’t go too well. I found I could make these little critters, and they could pick things up, and I thought it was so cool, ‘cause I had never seen anyone else do it, yeah? Like I had seen dancers, they made wisps ‘n shit. But hey, on my home planet, making touchable stuff obviously meant I was gonna kill everyone, and needed to be disposed of. All that excitement got turned into bein’ locked in a room, and hustled off to be left cryin’ in an empty room, nameless, with the damn orphans feeling sorry for me. You know your shit’s fucked when the people with dead parents look at ya an’ think ‘at least I’m not her’!” She stomped to her feet, grabbing her own bottle from the cooler. “Fuckin’ A man, why would you make me think of this shit again.” She took a long pull before adding, rather morosely, “The irony is I would never have killed anyone if they hadn’t left me there, yeah? Them leavin’ me there made it so I wound up here.”
🏠- A memory about their childhood home/where they used to live
“Oh man, if I could go back to my home planet? Ah, it was beautiful. You know how people say, ‘ah, I’m gonna retire to a tropical resort planet’? They’d go to Esorta. At least where I was born, it was just... Warm water, so much life. Beaches that went forever down the coast, tall trees with their green branches sproutin’ up from the water, so it was all in shade, which was good, yeah. We burn easily, too light skinned for most places.” She flapped her arm, the skin on it quite pale indeed. “But you’d get this glorious ripple pattern of light comin’ through, which would catch the algae growin’ in there and turn th’ water this lilacy color...” Her smile was wistful. “We lived on the beaches, in these, like, cave systems. Ya could reach most others just by walking through ‘em. Felt like the spaceships do, honestly. Everything connected, which was good, yeah, ‘cause we got storms a lot, and ya couldn’t get outside when there’s hurricane goin’. I mean you could, I guess, but it was a dumb idea, man. But the trees... They never budged. Maybe the storms just felt stronger when I was so teeny... I always would wanna go play in ‘em. Bet my parents wish they had let me, when it came out what I could do...” Her face fell, fingers tangling in her hair. “Woulda saved them the shame.”
📷- A memory that comes with a picture they have
“This one was great, yeah.” She waved the long strip, smiling slightly. “We had found this thing in a junkyard, don’t remember what we were doin’ there, but Peter called it a “photobooth”, and it apparently still worked. We crammed in there, him ‘n me, and this button made it all flashy, and we got this string of pictures, just some goofy shit. Apparently you’re supposed to make dumb faces, he said he and ‘is momma did it before. Look, this last one here, where Yondu stuck his head in, is my favorite. Look at our faces!” She giggled, her hand pressed against her lips. “We look so startled, he managed to sneak up on us real good. He popped his head in, yelling about how we had to leave ‘n shit, and we were so not expecting it. Man, it was an easier time...” Her smile turned sad. “Now Peter’s this big hotshot an’ all, got so little time for his old family. Proud of him, of course. But I miss him...”
💡- A memory that comes with an object or keepsake they have
There was a snort. “We ain’t got space on this ship for keepsakes, not with all the damn animals people keep bringin’ on! You know we got a cow in the ship dock? Like, there wasn’t any space left, but it was blind so Theoric felt sorry for the stupid thing. You know what don’t move outta the way of space ships? Blind cows, that’s what. You gotta be so careful parkin’ in here, like it isn’t even deaf! Just blind! You’d THINK it would move, but apparently its goddamn self preservation was linked to it’s fuckin’ eyesight! ...What? Shut up, maybe the cow’s a keepsake, dickhead.”
🔪- A memory about a dangerous situation
“Kiddo, I’ve been a mercenary for almost forty years. There’s a lot to pull from.” She tapped her chin with her nails, thoughtfully. “One of the jobs would be boring, honestly. Like, there’s only so many ways it can go. You go shoot at people, so ya get shot at, or ya try to keep others from gettin’ shot at, so people shoot at you instead, or ya break in the steal their shit, and they shoot at you. Sometimes we try to keep things from being stolen by people who will come on in shootin’ at ya. I’ve been shot at a lot, it doesn’t feel dangerous anymore, ya know? Hmmm... Oh!” Siren’s face brightened. “How ‘bout this? Spackle wanted to go to this safari thing, yeah? Like a zoo, but like, everything runs ‘round like it’s hot shit and owns the place.”
“Oh boss, no, please!” Spackle groaned, falling backward with her hands over her eyes. Siren laughed.
“Nope, shut up! I’m telling this one. Anyway,” her grin got wider as she continued. “So we go, yeah? And they take our weapons, because there’s been an issue with poaching, ‘cause some of these fuckers are rare and some shit, and we, well. We don’t look like high society, right? Yeah, so we go in, and there’s all these wild things struttin’ around, and since we’re in this buggie, it’s all cool. Well, turns out this glaxi had managed to break perimeter, and smelled Spackle. What’s a glaxi? It’s this giant ass dog-type thing, with a few extra legs, a mouth on it’s belly, and four tails that it grabs shit with. Also, they’re ‘bout thirty feet tall too, so it can be some scary ass shit. Anyway, they hate Ykonases, which is what Spackle is. Kinda a long time competitor sorta thing, Ykonases are smarter and faster, but glaxi are giant dumb animals that eat everything they come across. So this buggie we’re in, it’s like, maybe up to its knees? The first ones anyway. Holy shit, I almost pissed myself to see this thing come blasting over the hills. Spackle is screaming, Lash is laughing, I’m just angry as fuck that we left the damn weaponry back at the ranger station. So we turn, and just fucking floor it. This stupid little thing, it gets maybe fifty miles an hour? Nothin compared to the glaxi. And it’s not that damn stable, so we hit this bump, right? We hit it far faster than this thing is meant to, and it flips. We all go tumbling, spilled out of the car, and Spackle just takes off. She’s running before I get my hair out of my eyes, and the big ol’ thing just goes right after her. Me ‘n Lash are stuck sittin’ there like “what the fuck is goin on?” Though, Spack is our friend ‘n all, and we can’t just leave her to get eaten-”
“Love you too Boss Lady.”
“So we go on after. And Spackle, I have no idea how she managed it, but she got so far up this damn giant tree near the station that it can’t reach her. She’s up there, hissing and spitting at it, fur all on end, and it’s paying no attention to all the rangers tryin’ to shoot it down, cause it’s not supposed to fuckin’ be there. We hurry on over, Lash pulls out one of the guns he had kept hidden, and I get my dragons goin’, and we eventually get this thing down for the count. But the whole time, it didn’t seem to give a shit about anyone but tryin’ to eat Spackle, who has forgotten she had some of Dave’s grenades in the pockets she had for once! All it would have taken was a good one tossed down it’s throat to kill it.”
“I hate this story.” Spackle muttered, her tail drooped over her eyes.
🎈- A memory about a time they were safe and relaxed
“Never happened.” It was muttered around a mouthful of food. “Seriously, what part of ‘merc for forty years’ did you not get the first time?”
“Any real answer isn’t going to be PG-13 for you, kid.” Shine had an even worse stage whisper than Lash, and Siren chucked a roll at her. Shine dodged, grinning, as Siren sighed.
“Even in a safe place, these nerves don’t fuckin’ relax. Closest might have been right after I left the ravagers, when I switched ships so I knew there was no chance of them findin’ me. I went lookin’ for an ocean planet, just to see what it would be like. Spent almost a month just bumin’ around, no jobs, no fightin’, no nothin’. I did have to hunt for my food, but that involved a lotta fishin in this gorgeous lagoon type place... Gods above, I need to go back there. Now that I don’t have the fear of a giant ass ship crashin’ into my head.”
“Wouldn’t have been as much to worry about if you hadn’t stolen part of it, girl.”
📔- A memory from a journal/diary entry
“Yeah, never kept one.” An eyeroll. “Where would I have kept it that it wouldn’t have been found? No one I’ve ever been around has a respect for privacy. I can’t even shower without some asshole walkin’ into the bathroom to take a piss, there’s no way I’m putting my inner most thoughts anywhere anyone but me can get to them.”
📝- A memory of them getting to know/meeting my muse
“What do I remember? Jeez, I remember fishing your dumbass out of the engine, that’s what I remember. Your poor dad was freakin out, and you could tell that wasn’t something he was used to fuckin’ doing. More blood than I like seein’ on kids, so it was a bit uncomfortable, but not nearly as much as I was used to seein’, so it evened out a bit. What? Kid, you might technically be older than me, but you look like twelve, and that’s all I give a fuck about.”
🔗- A memory about their proposal/wedding
“Kinda personal, ain’tcha. I ain’t married, and I’ve never been proposed to. The fuck would the point be? I live on a space ship. In space. Who’s gonna acknowledge it? Who’s gonna care? It doesn’t mean anything anyway. I don’t hold assets that government would be able to hold for a spouse anyway. Everyone knows he takes control of the ship if I die anyway. ...Well, if he asked, I’d say yes, ‘cause that means it meant something to the old fuck, but it’s not like it would change shit.
...Kid shut the fuck up, I am not blushing. I don’t blush. You’re an asshole, goodbye.”
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