#I feel like giving up
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my heat pump and furnace is done. i set up a gofundme to raise money for a new unit. i’m done, y’all. i’m exhausted of constantly fighting for stuff.
#need help#please#i feel like giving up#i just got a tooth worked on this morning#and had a $400 vet bill last week#im so tired
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random memes I reblog getting more activity than the art I do is really helping the mental for sure encouraging me to keep going during one of the worst times of my life for sure for sure
#not a cry for help or beg for attention#I’m just so tired making shit and having it just flopping on twitter or here#idk what you guys even want to see from me#I don’t even know anymore#I feel like giving up#my physical health sucks right now#I’m in the process of dropping out from uni#next time I get pills from my therapist I’m taking them all =D
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Good fucking morning to me.
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the “not wanting to finish writing a multi-chapter fic because hardly anyone is leaving comments” vs “no one leaving comments because it’s not finished yet and people don’t read in-progress stuff any more” is getting exhausting
#i feel like giving up#i probably won’t because it’ll bother me if i do#but like#i haven’t felt this discouraged in a very long time#effie rambles
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I’ve been taking some time to draw for myself lately and man does it feel good to not have to post everything you make lol
It always felt like a necessity as an artist to post sketches and WIPS, and that’s kinda why I decided to update my webcomic every day with a new page. I’m not sure if that will become a standard practice these days though. I feel more accomplished posting things that take hours, days, even WEEKS to create.
Maybe Twitter’s unhealthy environment for artists desperately trying to be seen on the internet might have something to do with why posting every day or bi-daily was something I enjoyed. I still want to be able to use Twitter because that’s the best place to reach out and make connections, and all my friends are there which is causing me to miss out… but MAN, I kinda like it when there’s less rules to follow in terms of being a content creator on the internet.
#i miss twitter#content creator#life is hard#I can’t decide what to do#it feels like there’s no winning right now#I feel like giving up#but I gotta press on because I genuinely love what I do and I wouldn’t trade this gift of mine for the world
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#fae vents#i was fine literally two seconds ago#and now I feel like I’m losing it and im trying not to cry but my head hurts and im stressed and tired#i feel like giving up#wtf is wrong with me#it’s fine it’s fine it’s fine. it’s fine
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I realized that I read fanfic because I can’t fathom being loved by a real person.
#sad thoughts#feeling alone#fanfic#i feel like giving up#i really thought they loved me#but I guess not#i should’ve known better
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if anyone needs me i'll be rotting in bed alone.
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all I do is try my fucking best and pray for one day of happiness and it never is enough and im so sick of it
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god I fuckign love ocs. my characters. my friend's characters. the characters of mutuals ive never spoken to. the characters of artists ive followed and maybe spoken to a little more. the characters of complete strangers I see in passing and think "aw that's cool". if you have ten fans I am one if you have one fan it is me etc etc. I love you
#please please please never give up on your original stories#because - and this is crucial - i. specifically me. want to see them#so know when it feels like nobody cares about them: i am there. and i am caring#felix saidtheblackhorse you are always on the mind i love yo. get worse#not art
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#I feel like giving up#like I cant get a job#noone will give me an interview just a 'your application was unsuccessful'#no explanation just someone else was better I guess#but I'm applying for apprenticeships#the jobs that are for people with no skills becasue they teach you to do it on the job#hell I even got rejected from doing housekeeping and being an admin assistant#an admin assistant not admin#god fucking damn does that sting#so yeah wanna give up#not gonna though because theres life to live but goddamn is this crushing#I barely wanna do art too#like I wanna but I feel like its not worth it#cos when I do make art the only attention I really get is from my wife#and like thats nice#but its really disheartening to spend a lot of time on something and not have anyone acknowledge it#so similar feelings there I guess#no ones looking at my art or my job applications#like if I got one of them sorted I'd be good#cos I'd have money from either a job or commissions#but I don't got either#so my self esteem is really low rn and I dont know what to do with myself#I'm just rambling at this point#I'll shut up now and let you enjoy your dashboard now
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Birds of a Feather
previous / next
#my art#feralnette au#birds of a feather#long tags#sorry I went apeshit in the tags#LETS SAY IT ALL TOGETHER NOW#I - M - A - G - OOOOOOOOO#its fun drawing marinette's back to Alya and having her appear stout and unstoppable and totally logical#and then you see her face and she's like two seconds from completely snapping and is keeping it together by a thread#as a note just because mari feels very certainly abt smth doesnt mean she's right. feelings can be valid and also irrational#in the throes of grief she decided it was better to be alone than to lose someone again so she started pulling away#and lila made pulling away very very very easy to do#shes also vaguely aware she's being unfair in pinning this on alya which is why she started spinning the drain on cockmoth again#legitimately all the shit that's happened to her wouldn't have been so catastrophic if he was never in the picture and she knows it#but the bitterness of her bestie choosing a fantastic liar over her at the worst of times stiiiiiings#alya's personal timing was bad but lila really took advantage of the fact that marinette had been acting off and weird#she basically clocked marinette as being unstable from SOMETHING and made up a lie about her#knowing she wouldn't have the strength to defend herself#between her social life going tachy bc of lila and losing fu in a way that felt like personhood death marinette was really put on the spot#and alya doing her thing of busting in there and assuming her bias is correct was a terrible combo#essentially marinette is highly unstable and alya is just realizing that#busting in and giving her a lecture when she's slightly hysterical and definitely delirious from exhaustion is NOT the way#to show her she's self sabotaging#cuz thats just gonna make her double down on self sabotaging. bc marinette will not accept that she is also a CHIIIIILD
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#back again with the i should just delete all my fics train of thought again#i feel like giving up#idk or care if i have silent readers or whatever tf it still feels like no one reads what i write#and i dont want any bs about writing for myself bc I KNOW#but the reason i post it is because i want other people to enjoy it#and no one interacts or anything#idc if i sound whiny I've been post here for three years and I've got the same lvl of interaction i had when i started
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Back at it with my enchanted merthur shenanigans
#when Merlin goes to work#(I am undecided on what he does but I think he does have a job (probably a librarian I’d that’s not TOO cliche…))#he sets Arthur up with a bunch of history books and documentaries to try get him up to date (as much as he can)#and in the evenings they watch all Merlin’s favourite tv shows and movies#I can’t pick what kinds of movies Merlin and Arthur like#I get the feeling they both like pride and prejudice but I’m also biased#I think Arthur would like murder mysteries#ALSO If anyone’s got any fics where Merlin introduces Arthur to modern society please please PLEASE GIVE THEM TO ME#my art#bbc merlin#merlin#merlin emrys#arthur pendragon#merthur
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Why the freak is every commission DM I get a freakin’ scam!?!
My prices are freakin’ cheap! £10 for a customised piece whilst most other artists charge £50+
so why do I only get scammers! Tbh sometimes it makes me wanna give up…
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