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#I don't rly care to see anyone else fight him since most people are worse than him about most things
llycaons · 1 year
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She turns then, hands curling into fists in the edges of the robe. She knows she is no brawler, couldn’t last any time at all against Hanguang-jun — but she doesn’t care. All at once, she wants a fight. She wants to hit him, rip that stupid ink-black hair, bite him and see if that jade skin can bleed. She wants to make him swallow down those selfish, shallow words.
YESSSS!!!!!!!!!! KILL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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imaginetho · 7 years
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Hello there! I would like to ask a scenario for ada dazai who meets the reader and he falls really hard for her but he gets this job to find out who was behind the prime minister's murder ( lmao had to be powerful ) and he discovers it's actually the mafia reader? A fluff ending would be amazing but i just don't see it whatsoever so you do you? Maybe she doesn't want to fight him and they just share a long talk? Okay i am done now i promise
i think i have just the idea i see it so clearly and its too beautiful omf thank you for requesting bby i hope you like this! 
rly tho damn someone should write a movie about this i’d def watch it
also we are gonna assume that he already knew she was in the mafia, he just didn’t know what she was capable of bc lets be honest that man is smarter than that
Dazai was not the type of person to fall in love with someone so easily, so when he finally fell for you, he fell hard.
Loving someone meant trusting them, and trusting them meant not doubting them. Which is what he always have done with you, love you and trust you.
Except right now, all of that is being put to hold. 
Not knowing what to think or feel he just held the piece of paper in his hand, which had your name on it. All he knew at this moment is that the one responsible for killing the prime minister is none other than you.
He stood there for a full 5 minutes just staring at the piece of paper until the first and only thing to cross his mind was that he needed to see you.
It’s been almost 2 weeks since the two of you have actually seen each other, but that wasn’t so odd with the two of you. You both understood that no matter what, you still loved and cared about each other endlessly. You also understood that this was just the nature of your daily jobs.
Sometimes you would go two weeks without even calling each other, but that was still fine. You both knew that time never actually showed how much you truly loved someone or cared about them.
Dazai’s reasons to wanna see you all the time were everything but this. He hurriedly called your phone, but there was no answer. Not wanting to waltz in the Port Mafia unannounced he hoped you were at home.
Shoving the paper into his coat, he quickly started making his way to your apartment. It really did not help that the roads were crowded and the rain did not stop for anyone.
After half an hour of driving between the busy roads and the showers of rain with completely nothing but you on his mind, he was finally at the door of your apartment. 
He knocked on your door five times, no answer. He called your name, and still no answer. 
Were you sleeping? he wondered. 
Still, it’s like 8:30 pm and he never knew you for an early sleeper. Going for his last resort he tried opening your door and to his surprise it was unlocked.
Another thing he knew for sure right now is that he was worried. 
Why’d you keep your door unlocked? Did you flee? Is that what you’ve been doing for the past two weeks? Did your really leave him without even so much as an explanation, is this how much he mattered to you?
He walked in and found the lights off. In fact, all the lights were off. Except he noticed that your jacket was on the couch. If you really had fled, then you would have took all your clothes with you, right?
He walked more to observe what else is different, he walked in the bathroom and found that your toothbrush was still there, all of your things were still there in fact. 
He checked almost everywhere and it seemed like everything was still the same, nothing missing, nothing new. The only place he was yet to check was your bedroom.
He got closer to the door and put his ear to it. He could hear something, but he wasn’t sure what exactly. 
Slowly, he pushed the doorknob and opened it. He finally found you.
Your bedroom was also really dark with no lights turned on, he could barely make out your silhouette. 
You were curled up in bed, facing the wall and quietly crying. You didn’t even seem to notice someone just walked in on you, let alone your apartment door was unlocked.
Forgetting everything he knew right now, he ran by your side and put his hand in your hair, softly playing with it and putting it away from your face. 
“Shhh, I’m here now love, I got you.” he whispered, his hand still playing with your hair.
Your cries only grew stronger after hearing him say that, and your body only curled tighter. You were trembling and not wanting him to see your face, you kept it down. 
“I’m sorry.” you mumbled.
“What do you mean?” he asked. 
You grabbed his hand that was in your hair, and squeezed it gently before putting it away and sitting up to readjust yourself.
You wiped your tears away and looked him in the eyes. 
“If anyone saw me like this right now, they’d never think I’m capable of taking someone’s life, even though I have.” you chuckled.
You chuckled after saying that but he saw it. He saw it hurt you a lot more to actually say that than make you laugh. 
He didn’t say anything but remained on the floor watching you and waiting to hear you out.
“You know, even with me working in the Port Mafia, this is actually the first time I’ve ever killed someone. I always just hurt people but never actually took their own life.” you spoke with tears still pouring down your face.
You wiped them again and continued. “I’m not trying to justify what I did or say it wasn’t wrong, because it was. Although, even though I know it’s wrong and even though I regret it, I can’t say he didn’t deserve it. He wasn’t really the best person.”
“I just wish I wasn’t the one to do it.” you finished.
In fact you’ve spent those two weeks wallowing in regret and self hatred. You haven’t even been to work ever since then. You barely slept, you barely ate, just breathing seemed exhausting.
You hated yourself after doing this.
How can anyone even love me after doing that? you thought. 
You really cherished those times before you did what you did. Those times where you thought you weren’t such a horrible person, those times you could go on with your day without remembering that someone’s blood was on your hands.
Those times where Dazai loved you so much.
How can he love you now? After knowing what you did? You can’t even forgive yourself, how can anyone forgive you?
You’re glad you at least got to have someone love you for once.
“You made a mistake, people make mistakes. You did something and you regret it, but you learn from it.” he finally interrupted your thoughts and spoke out loud.
“But I killed a person! I made the selfish decision of deciding whether he gets to live or not.” you cried.
He smiled at you.
Even though Dazai was disappointed, he knew the regret of making huge mistakes. He knew what it felt to do something and feel like utter crap after it. He knew how it really felt to take away someone’s life and regret it.
He knew how you felt, which is why he can empathize and help you get through it. He was the last person to ever have the right to judge you, not when he too had made many mistakes in his life.
He too have done what you did before and even worse. He too have been where you are right now, he too thought he should give up on himself, on everything and think it’s too late to fix anything.
But that was until someone came along and told him to do the right thing. Someone still saw the good in him even when he couldn’t see it himself. Someone taught him that mistakes are made to be learnt from and not took as an example for who you truly are. 
Mistakes never defined a person and no one better than him knew that.
How can he let the person he loved the most go through what he’s gone through without trying to understand? Without trying to help?
He wasn’t ready to give up on you just yet, but he was ready to be your someone.
If someone took the time to actually see the good in him, then he sure as hell can see the good in you. He wasn’t any better than you, and he won’t forgive himself if he let you go this easily.
He stood up and brought his body closer to yours. He held you tight to his chest and let you cry on it. He noticed your body was still trembling from crying so much so he started caressing your back gently.
“I know it’s hard, but I promise, we’ll get through this together.” he whispered closely to your ears and then kissed the top of your head.
He held you in his arms the entire night, his hands roaming in your hair until you finally fell asleep. 
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