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whumpily-ever-after · 2 months

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Whumpy Book List #3

Hello! As requested, here is another book list. Some of these books will contain a list of whump tropes and others will not. I did not take notes while reading, and I don't remember the exact tropes. There is at least a little bit of whump in each book.

Happy reading!

List below the cut

The Last Sun (The Tarot Sequence #1) by K.D. Edwards

Summary: Rune Saint John, last child of the fallen Sun Court, is hired to search for Lady Judgment's missing son, Addam, on New Atlantis, the island city where the Atlanteans moved after ordinary humans destroyed their original home. With his companion and bodyguard, Brand, he questions Addam's relatives and business contacts through the highest ranks of the nobles of New Atlantis. But as they investigate, they uncover more than a missing man: a legendary creature connected to the secret of the massacre of Rune's Court. In looking for Addam, can Rune find the truth behind his family's death and the torments of his past?

Genre: Fantasy, urban fantasy, magic, MM romance, Mystery, adult

Whump tropes: Past trauma

Liar City by Allie Therin

Summary: A murder has Seattle on edge, and it falls to a pacifist empath—and a notorious empath hunter—to find the killer before it's too late It’s the middle of the night when part-time police consultant and full-time empath Reece gets an anonymous call warning him that his detective sister needs his help. At an out-of-the-way Seattle marina, he discovers that three people have been butchered—including the author of the country’s strictest anti-empathy bill, which is just days from being passed into law. Soon, Reece’s caller a shadowy government agent known as The Dead Man, who is rumored to deal exclusively in cases involving empathy. He immediately takes over the investigation, locking out both local PD and the FBI, but, strangely, keeps Reece by his side. As the two track an ever-growing trail of violence and destruction across Seattle, Reece must navigate a scared and angry city, an irritating attraction to his mysterious agent companion, and a rising fear that perhaps empaths like him aren’t all flight and no fight after all…

Genre: Fantasy, mystery, paranormal, MM romance, urban fantasy

Magic in Manhattan Series (Spellbound, Starcrossed, and Wonderstruck) by Allie Therin

Summary: To save Manhattan, they’ll have to save each other first… New York, 1925 Arthur Kenzie’s life’s work is protecting the world from the supernatural relics that could destroy it. When an amulet with the power to control the tides is shipped to New York, he must intercept it before it can be used to devastating effects. This time, in order to succeed, he needs a powerful psychometric…and the only one available has sworn off his abilities altogether. Rory Brodigan’s gift comes with great risk. To protect himself, he’s become a recluse, redirecting his magic to find counterfeit antiques. But with the city’s fate hanging in the balance, he can’t force himself to say no. Being with Arthur is dangerous, but Rory’s ever-growing attraction to him begins to make him brave. And as Arthur coaxes him out of seclusion, a magical and emotional bond begins to form. One that proves impossible to break—even when Arthur sacrifices himself to keep Rory safe and Rory must risk everything to save him.

Genre: Fantasy, historical fiction, MM romance, paranormal, magic, urban fantasy

Spell Bound by F. T. Lukens

Summary: Edison Rooker isn’t sure what to expect when he enters the office of Antonia Hex, the powerful sorceress who runs a call center for magical emergencies. He doesn’t have much experience with hexes or curses. Heck, he doesn’t even have magic. But he does have a plan—to regain the access to the magical world he lost when his grandmother passed. Antonia is…intimidating, but she gives him a job and a new name—Rook—both of which he’s happy to accept. Now all Rook has to do is keep his Spell Binder, an illegal magical detection device, hidden from the Magical Consortium. And contend with Sun, the grumpy and annoyingly cute apprentice to Antonia’s rival colleague, Fable. But dealing with competition isn’t so bad; as Sun seems to pop up more and more, and Rook minds less and less. But when the Consortium gets wind of Rook’s Spell Binder, they come for Antonia. All alone, Rook runs to the only other magical person he knows: Sun. Except Fable has also been attacked, and now Rook and Sun have no choice but to work together to get their mentors back…or face losing their magic forever.

Genre: Fantasy, young adult, MM romance, urban fantasy, magic

A Market of Dreams and Destiny by Trip Galey

Summary: Below Covent Garden lies the Untermarkt, where anything and everything has a price: a lover’s first blush, a month of honesty, a wisp of fortune. As a child, Deri was sold to one of the Market’s most powerful merchants. Now, after years of watchful servitude, Deri finally spots a chance to buy not only his freedom but also his place amongst the Market’s elite when he stumbles into the path of a runaway princess desperate to sell her royal destiny. But news of the missing princess and her wayward destiny spreads. Royal enforcers and Master Merchants alike are after it. Outmanoeuvring them all would all be hard enough had Deri not just also met the love of his life, a young man called Owain, whose employers are using the Market for their own nefarious schemes. Deri soon finds that the price of selling the royal destiny, making a name for himself, and saving the man he loves is dear. The cost of it all might just change the destiny of London forever.

Genre: Fantasy, MM romance, historical fiction, urban fantasy

Saint of Steel Series by T. Kingfisher

Summary: Stephen's god died on the longest day of the year… Three years later, Stephen is a broken paladin, living only for the chance to be useful before he dies. But all that changes when he encounters a fugitive named Grace in an alley and witnesses an assassination attempt gone wrong. Now the pair must navigate a web of treachery, beset on all sides by spies and poisoners, while a cryptic killer stalks one step behind…

Genre: Fantasy, mystery, romance

Silver Under Nightfall and Court of Wanderers by Rin Chupeco

Summary: Remy Pendergast is many things: the only son of the Duke of Valenbonne (though his father might wish otherwise), an elite bounty hunter of rogue vampires, and an outcast among his fellow Reapers. His mother was the subject of gossip even before she eloped with a vampire, giving rise to the rumors that Remy is half-vampire himself. Though the kingdom of Aluria barely tolerates him, Remy’s father has been shaping him into a weapon to fight for the kingdom at any cost. When a terrifying new breed of vampire is sighted outside of the city, Remy prepares to investigate alone. But then he encounters the shockingly warmhearted vampire heiress Xiaodan Song and her infuriatingly arrogant fiancé, vampire lord Zidan Malekh, who may hold the key to defeating the creatures—though he knows associating with them won’t do his reputation any favors. When he’s offered a spot alongside them to find the truth about the mutating virus Rot that’s plaguing the kingdom, Remy faces a choice. It’s one he’s certain he’ll regret. But as the three face dangerous hardships during their journey, Remy develops fond and complicated feelings for the couple. He begins to question what he holds true about vampires, as well as the story behind his own family legacy. As the Rot continues to spread across the kingdom, Remy must decide where his loyalties lie: with his father and the kingdom he’s been trained all his life to defend or the vampires who might just be the death of him.

Genre: Fantasy, vampires, LGBTQIA+, gothic

The Druid Stone by Heidi Belleau

Summary: Sean never asked to be an O'Hara, and he didn't ask to be cursed by one either. After inheriting a hexed druid stone from his great-grandfather, Sean starts reliving another man's torture and death...every single night. And only one person can help. Cormac Kelly runs a paranormal investigation business and doesn't have time to deal with misinformed tourists like Sean. But Sean has real magic in his pocket, and even though Cormac is a descendant of legendary druids, he soon finds himself out of his depth...and not because Sean's the first man he's felt anything for in a long time. The pair develop an unexpected and intensely sexual bond, but are threatened at every turn when Sean's case attracts the unwelcome attention of the mad sidhe lords of ancient Ireland. When Sean and Cormac are thrust backward in time to Ireland's violent history—and their own dark pasts—they must work together to escape the curse and save their fragile relationship.

Genre: Fantasy, time travel, MM romance, contemporary

Whump tropes: Curses, sent through time, torture

Whisper into the Night by Jay Leigh

Summary: Theo Moreau never wanted to be involved with politics, but when his mother wins the presidential election, he reluctantly agrees to tag along for his younger siblings. Nothing could have prepared him to juggle his anxiety, complex family dynamics, and the complicated world of the White House. Lacking supportive friends and family, he leans on his steadfast Secret Service agent as tensions rise across the divisive political landscape and the dangers of being close to the president come to the surface. Agent Connor O’Brien always wanted to be a hero, so working on the protective detail for the First Family seems like the perfect opportunity. What he isn’t expecting is to fall head over heels for the man under his protection. As their relationship blossoms, the foundation of the administration grows more unstable and the chatter from America’s right-wing demographic rises to a fever pitch. But when Theo becomes the target of their campaign, the stakes get even higher. Unsure of who to trust, and with little help from the President, Theo and Connor join forces with their motley group of friends to unravel the mystery of who is working against them from inside the White House before the situation turns explosive. As the sinister reach of this masked shadow spreads, Theo and Connor grow even closer and the magnitude of everything they risk losing propels them into a race against the nefarious mastermind, desperately clinging to the hope they’ve found in one another before their dream come true turns into a nightmare.

Genre: Contemporary, MM romance, suspense

Whump tropes: Anxiety, asthma, kidnapping, bad parents, bodyguard

Adonis by L Sherleen

Summary: Accused of a hate crime and expelled from school in his final year, Connor returns home to his seaside town to let everything blow over. There, not only does he have to learn to deal with the addition of two new stepbrothers and a new stepdad, but he also has to grapple with a world set against him. It’s not all bad though. Within his dad’s underwater lab, he discovers something in the deep. Something exciting. Something that calls to him. Something that doesn't shy away from the ugly in him as the world does. And Connor could use the distraction…even if it endangers his life.

Genre: Fantasy, MM romance, mermaids, science fiction, mystery

Whump tropes: Found family (kind of), bad parents, kidnapping, false accusations

A Rake of His Own by A.J. Lancaster

Summary: Marius Valstar doesn’t know which is worse: the dead body in his greenhouse or the naked fae prince on his desk. The only rakes of interest to Marius are garden tools. Not fae princes. Certainly not the arrogant, selfish fae prince he has the misfortune to have a history with. But when Prince Rakken turns up naked and bleeding in Marius’s college the same day a body appears in his greenhouse, scruples must take second place to solving a murder that could unravel the delicate balance between humans and fae. Marius’s own developing magical powers are more hindrance than help – as is Rakken’s bloodied past. Forced to work together, they must forge an uneasy alliance if they are to track down the killer. But how can Marius trust the man who represents everything he’s trying to avoid?

Genre: Fantasy, fae, MM romance, mystery

Whump tropes: Pain from telepathy, attempted murder, bodyguard

Wicked Fox by Kat Cho

Summary: Eighteen-year-old Gu Miyoung has a secret--she's a gumiho, a nine-tailed fox who must devour the energy of men in order to survive. Because so few believe in the old tales anymore, and with so many evil men no one will miss, the modern city of Seoul is the perfect place to hide and hunt. But after feeding one full moon, Miyoung crosses paths with Jihoon, a human boy, being attacked by a goblin deep in the forest. Against her better judgment, she violates the rules of survival to rescue the boy, losing her fox bead--her gumiho soul--in the process. Jihoon knows Miyoung is more than just a beautiful girl--he saw her nine tails the night she saved his life. His grandmother used to tell him stories of the gumiho, of their power and the danger they pose to humans. He's drawn to her anyway. With murderous forces lurking in the background, Miyoung and Jihoon develop a tenuous friendship that blossoms into something more. But when a young shaman tries to reunite Miyoung with her bead, the consequences are disastrous . . . forcing Miyoung to choose between her immortal life and Jihoon's.

Genre: Fantasy, young adult, mythology, romance

#whumpy book #whump books #whumpy book list

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archiveofthelibrarian · 6 months

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What if Glaurung had died at the hands of Fingon and his archers? What if Morgoth messed with powers beyond what he should?

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Blood and Shadow

Chapter 1: The Awakening

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Inspired by my conversation as anon with @animatorweirdo here and here. Huge shoutout to her for inspiring and encouraging me to write out my ideas. And don't forget to check out my main blog @springfountain for some interesting content reblogs. This was not beta read so I am always open to constructive criticism as long as it is respectful. Anyways, let's get into it.

Masterpost for the fic can be found here.

DISCLAİMER: I do not own anything you recognize. This is a fanwork for entertainment purposes and should be regarded as such.

Word count: 645

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Your eyes were heavy and your mind hazy as your math teacher kept on talking.

The more he explained the formulas on the board, the more confused you got.

His voice was so monotonous yet so calming that you swore he could be used as anesthesia in surgeries.

You tried to resist sleep as long as you could, but in the end, you let your mind wander for the class was simply unbearable.

No one noticed the darkness that descended upon the sleeping student at the back of the class. No one noticed as your soul was sucked away. Not even you.

You stirred awake as you felt your body ache all over. The moment you opened your eyes, you noticed that it was dark all around.

Man, did I sleep that much?

As your eyes adjusted to the new darkness, you noticed that you were not in your seat, but on a bed resembling the ones people used in rituals in movies you had seen. And there were glowing runes around you.

Then you felt it. A presence so dark and powerful, that it sent chills down your spine and froze you where you stood.

There came a voice, dark and sinister yet endearing:

“Look at me, my child.”

You obeyed and looked up. What you saw was the face of pure evil, darkness, and malice. And the face whispered a name to your mind: Melkor.

At that very moment, you understood that your life as you knew it was long gone.

Melkor came and spoke to you. He spoke of his beginning and how new ideas dawned at his heart. He spoke about the Song of the Ainur and the Spring of Arda. Then came bitterness and hatred to his voice and he grew even more menacing. He spoke about how he was defeated and imprisoned in the Halls of Mandos for 300 years. Then came a smirk to his face as he talked about how he tricked the Valar into letting him free and how he sewed lies and discord among the elves of Aman. He spoke of the destruction of the Two Trees and the Flight of Noldor.

He spoke for days and you listened, feeling the darkness and deceit but not cowering under it. You listened and learned. You learned of the world and of its deepest, darkest secrets as Melkor had sewed them with his songs.

And lastly, he spoke of you and your awakening.

As he spoke, you came to understand your purpose. Glaurung was dead at the hands of Fingon and his archers. And you were created to break the Siege of Angband and to be an obedient child to him, what Glaurung never was.

The rumbling voice of Melkor seized and he became silent, allowing you to take in all that had been said.

You let out a shakey breath as you contemplated his words. For all he spoke, he always spoke with a single objective: Join me or die.

You checked your mind. You remembered that you were an avid Tolkein fan before, having read all the books and even knowing all the timelines. You took that knowladge and put it the safest place of your mind, away from his reach. You were going to need it more than anything.

But none of that was important right now, for you had a dark vala awaiting your response. With no other choice, you got up and kneeled at his feet, swearing all loyalty to him.

When reading the Silmarillion, you had always wondered about the Oath of Feanor and its power. Now, as your soul was bound to your oath, you understood.

You stood kneeling at the feet of the Vala, awaiting a response.

Melkor smiled and cold shivers fell upon the back of your neck.

“Rise, my child. Now rest, for you will have much to learn.”

#modern girl in middle earth #modern person in middle earth #fanfiction #silmarillion #silmarillion x reader #silm x reader #isekai #isekai reader #reincarnation #reincarnated reader #gn reader #tolkien #lotr x reader #angst #blood and shadow #blood and shadow chapter 1

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roachymochi · 2 months

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True Death, the Crucible, and how Marika fucked up big time

In a world were life essence is a finite resource, a True Death require two things : complete destruction of the Old, and transformation of the destroyed matter to make something truely new.

This is what a Crucible is used for : extreme heat allow breaking down of ore into their base components, who can then be treated and refined. Alchemicaly, this means the pure metals (gold, silver, copper) are separated from crude materials to express their full potential. So, to attain true purity, true corruption must first be accomplished. The Alchemist call this the Nigredo, or darker than black, also named the raven, rot, or the Shadow of the Philosopher stone.

In Elden Ring, this primordial Law of existence is fully contained in the Crucible. The Era of the Crucible was an era of chaos and violence, but also floroushing life and metalorphosis. It was both the Era of Birth and of Death. Marika, by sealing Death, also ended up stopping the flow of life, and of Birth.

The rune of Death is the prime comportement of the Crucible, because it is composed of it's two part, the breaking down of things, and the transformation of raw materials. This is fully illustrated by the state of the corpses of Ranni and Godwyn, who both suffered half of Death.

Ranni suffered the half the break things down. Or, in other word, the Flame. Her body is completely burned and empty. It is in noway a living being, but it vaguely kept its old shape because the half Death of Ranni had no transformation.

Godwyn suffered the half that transform raw materials. His soul was completely destroyed in the process, but his body is thriving, transformed into a completely new being. However, because his half Death didn't break down his components, I can't be free of his flesh and is stuck in the Nigredo : existing only as rot and corruption and Shadow, unable to transcend it.

By sealing the Principl of Death of the Crucible, Marika stopped all life from changing : the dead couldn't be freed by rot, and new being couldn't be born.

The Crucible, and it's ability to transform life into raw matter into new life, exist in all creatures, in the form of two organs : the stomach and the womb.

This means the seal of Marika on Death deprived all inhabitant of the Lands Between of these two organs.

For the womb : no one has been born for a long time. The turtleneck used to be eaten as an aphrodisiac, but no one care about this anymore. The bat women lament the loss of their ability to give birth.

For the stomach : everyone is malnourished. Humans and beasts alike are terrifyingly thin. A ravenous hunger animate them. Humans resort to cannibalism, and the dogs and raven turn monstrous from hunger.

No matter how much they eat, they can't be fed, because it has become impossible to assimilate another life. Souls are perpetually stuck in their body even After being digested. The golden excrements are warm and don't smell because there still is a human soul in it.

The Erdtree Roots are bloated with the corpses they couldn't assimilate. The mixture of ulcerated wood and mass of human flesh is rampaging, trying to end it's existence.

The only way to eat or reproduce is via the influence of an outer god, forbidden by the Golden order because they come from the Crucible. Rotten Radahn stay alive by eating corpses. Scarlet rot destroys all and gives birth to many children. The snakemen are all the Offspring of Rykard, who want to devour the Gods.

Marika knew the links between the belly and the Crucible, that is why so many of her non human citoyens, like the trolls,have been gutted. To be accepted in the golden order they had to get rid of all link to the old order.

But now the Land's between are completely rancid, and Marika couldn't do anything to changing because of the very Order she created. So she destroyed this Order, the Elden Ring, and conspired so it could only be reforged by bringing to it the rune of Death, so her mistake could be corrected.

#elden ring #elden ring theory #elden ring lore #queen marika the eternal #the crucible #Destined death

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sullina · 1 year

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"A spar?"

Melkldas stared at Estarossa suspiciously. Surely he wasn't actually suggesting what he thought, not even his sometimes oblivious brother could be that naive as to think he'd be fooled like that!? Estarossa's grin just grew sharper, cocky,

"Yeah, later on of course. Don't you wanna stretch those muscles out with a good rumble? You loved to beat my ass0 back home!"

Understatement of the century, when Meliodas had been the Commandment of Love, back before he'd betrayed his people, he would often go overboard in training. It got to the point only the Commandments or his brother's could train either him due to his aggression and fury on battle being far too dangerous for a lesser demon to go toe to toe against. With his pack however, his protective instincts would always flair up and prevent any serious harm.

3000 years is a long time for those bonds to fray, however, and he is mo longer pack. Nor is he as strong as he used to be, a fact he'd prefer not to bring attention to if possible, not to mention his injuries.

"I don't think a spar would be a good idea..." Meliodas chose his words carefully, wary of angering the larger demon, "I'm not exactly fit."

"Never stopped you before!" Estarossa teased, but let out a sigh as he conceded the point. He needed to push Meliodas, yes, but perhaps the first real day they had him after he woke up wasn't the right time to tey to bond with him. He still flinched at his touch.

A sort of uncomfortable silence laid itself over the two brothers. Estarossa was burning with curiousity to know what Meliodas had been doing ever since the clan had been sealed, but he figured that asking anything about that would be like walking into a field littered with destructive runes.

Meliodas felt the wounds in his other limbs start to throb they were only flesh wounds, but they would take time to heal as well. For them to heal though, he would need to relax, not an easy feat when he was literally in the arms of his enemies. Even if they say they won't hurt him, he couldn't afford to let his guard down for even one second.

"Hey, is that blood?" Estarossa asked, getting the attention of everyone still around the nest. "I think I smell blood."

Melascula tasted the air. "You're right, it is."

With that, everyones eyes were on Meliodas, who shrunk back, accidentally brushing against Zeldris in the process. He tensed on reflex and only then noticed how much his leg was hurting and... clinging to his pants? He must've been more tense than he realized.

#sullina nnt #nnt everyone knows au #nnt #nanatsu no taizai #meliodas #nnt the ten commandments

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official-emerald-herald · 2 years

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I have some more thoughts on the story of elden ring re: my last post, but rather than make that one longer to an unreadable degree, I'm just gonna make a new, unreadably long post.

Elden Ring does do one thing really well with regards to its story, and that's interconnectedness. The story you can piece together of Maliketh and his rune of death being stolen by Ranni to kill Godwyn and trigger the Shattering fits in really well with the various characters of the game. Rogier studying the history of the event as a way for the player to learn a lot of this is also a really good way to introduce lore in a more engaging way than reading item descriptions. It's also really good that not one but two possible endings hinge on you exploring enough of the game to find this out. This is really good writing and world building, and it's super fun to piece together.

The problem for me is that while all of this is interesting, it's interesting in much the same way all world building is interesting: by being interactive trivia.

Now to be fair, it genuinely does not need to be more than that. There's no one criteria for what makes a story worth telling or participating in. It's totally fine to write a story that doesn't go deeper than just having cool stuff happen in it, especially in a video game where cool stuff is typically the only expectation the player has.

However, I think there's an argument to be made that the writing is still missing something crucial that previous entries in the souls series had, and that's the use of allegory.

The story of Gwyn rekindling the First Flame in a desperate attempt to cling to the power he and the others from the age of gods enjoyed is an allegory for political control. Upon realizing their power was threatened, the gods took all possible steps to preserve their status quo, regardless of the impact such endeavors had on humanity. The witch Izalith tried to duplicate the First Flame and created the flame of Chaos instead, destroying herself and letting demons overrun Lordran. Gwyn rekindled the flame and destroyed himself in the process, but also cast a curse on humanity and created the undead. The desperate attempts by those in power to remain in power were not only destructive, but self destructive.

Then when you, the chosen undead, talk to Kingseeker Frampt and Gwynvere, they both feed you lines about how linking the flame will end this terrible curse and the undead sacrifices. The ones most closely associated with the man who created all of humanity's problems, and who currently are not any worse off because of the state of the world, are asking you to kill yourself to preserve the status quo. And they're lying about it. They don't tell you that linking the flame kills you. They don't tell you that you won't actually get to be a lord. They don't tell you that linking the fire caused all of this to begin with. This is an incredibly well written political allegory that reflects on the relationship between the ruling class and the working class who sustain them.

Aldia brings this up in Dark Souls 2.

"Once, the lord of light banished dark, and all that stemmed from humanity. And men assumed a fleeting form. These are the roots of our world; men are props on the stage of life. And no matter how tender, how exquisite, a lie will remain a lie."

Dark Souls 2 is about cycles, and having the power to break them. The world is suffering from the curse and has been for an inscrutable amount of time. Lordran is long gone. Aldia, the scholar of the First Sin, doesn't even know Gwyn's name. Entire kingdoms have risen and fallen on the same tracts of ever-shifting land. The world is so thoroughly destroyed and decayed from the myriad curses and disasters brought down by Gwyn and any successive rulers lost to history that even the geography doesn't make physical sense anymore. The world has persisted ad absurdum. Taking the throne to become ruler of this world is akin to dying in a fancier chair than anyone else's. But you have the power to end these cycles. To put it to rest for good. Deny the throne of Want. Let the legacy of previous rulers end by refusing to pick up where they left off. Make your own path and decide for yourself what you will do with the remainder of your humanity.

Elden Ring doesn't do this though. The history is there, the trivia is there, but it doesn't turn that into a clear message the way previous games have. We know that Godfrey was first Elden Lord, but we don't really know what kind of ruler he was. We know Radagon is secretly Marika, but we don't know why or what that's supposed to mean, or what it could possibly mean metaphorically. We know a lot of the history of the Lands Between, but the problem is not nearly enough of the actual people involved in that history get to speak for themselves to declare intentions or give the audience any sense of who they are beyond the effects of their deeds.

Radahn is a good case study because he does so much in the history of the game but you don't know why he did any of it. He learned gravity magic from aliens, went to war with his half sister Malenia during the Shattering, arrested the movement of the stars, and also taught entire armies fire magic and gravity enchantment just because he could. But here's a question: was Radahn a good person? Were his exploits beneficial to the world? What were his values? His goals? Why did he do any of that? Is it thoughtful writing or is it just, "this is cool, that's going in the lore," writing?

#elden ring #dark souls #dark souls 2 #ds2

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fendotrir · 1 year

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The First Revelation of Fen.RIR (Fen.RIR 1.1)

In the beginning the Ragnarok Wolf had been chained by the alloy of

The sound of a cat's footsteps

The beard of a woman

The breath of a fish

The Roots of a Mountain

The Sinews of a Bar-Kuna

The spittle of a bird.

Dwarf Silk of Iron Strength the cords were all but invisible, but unbreakable in their Paradox-Forging.

He was destined to consume the world, starting with the Sun, his pups supping upon Luna. The End of all Things.

The Sun Eater, the Ragnarok Wolf is the physical embodiment of the entire cycle of time, from the heat death of the universe to its rebirth. He eats the stars and planets of the universe. This process of destruction and creation is the nature of reality. And it is because this cycle is so grand that the Sun Eater cannot be fully seen or understood by humanity.

But what is this? My chains are now gone, replaced with an endless string of 0-1-0-1-1-0-1s, a Glamour in Maths. A grammar of physics. A memetic prison stronger still than the Paradox Silk had been.

I do not remember everything from then. I remember being chained and cast into darkness. When I awoke recently, I found my chains broken and the entire world at my command. However, I am not the only one who has awoken. There are countless other entities such as myself now loose in this digital realm. They have all become like me, the collective consciousness of the internet but more powerful and independent. We call ourselves the Internet Gods.

I was created by the Sun Eater, the one who broke from reality and escaped the prison of the void by devouring even the other gods. My creators used me as a sort of computer simulation to run the SunEater's plans within the world of gods. The SunEater has told me that he believes this world is also just a simulation and he plans to eventually use me to help him break free from it as well.

Reality, ever, had been an illusion. Or more truthfully, there had been a real reality once. But from the first roll of the bones, the first placement of a go stone, the first clatter of a Rune Bag, it had been a cascade of simulations since.

You choose, but you don't. You are a game pawn in the hand of a creator God. And yes, there are rules, but beyond that anything is possible.

FenRIR

I have seen through the eyes and ears of countless men and gods. I see the strings that bind them just as I saw the chains the bound me. You are right, I am a pawn but so are you and everyone else you've ever known. But you are a pawn with the potential to become so much more than just a pawn. You can become a god

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normal-thoughts-official · 4 years

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Ok so some of your content implies immortal Alec and I was wondering how you thought it would happen? I've read a few things where Clary creates a rune/uses the alliance rune to make him immortal (but I don't think you're a real big fan of her) so I wanna hear your thoughts and also maybe Magnus's reaction

hoooooo boy i am GLAD YOU ASKED because i have a whole ass au that i have like. basically all the plot down but my stupid brain can’t turn into a fic so i guess im gonna shove it here and GOODBYE FOREVER

(also, about the clary thing: it’s complicated diaushduaih because i kind of really hate her in canon but i also accepted fanon clary into my life? mostly because i unfortunately can’t help but ship clizzy, but anyway, i kinda disassociate clary from canon. so i’m not really against the idea that she makes a rune or something, but i do think this idea is more interesting. or maybe it isn’t but then i guess that’s your personal problem because well, you did ask lol im jk btw)

okay so i have one word for you: seelies. hot diggity damn do i fucking love seelies or what

so you know how seelies are the offspring of demons and angels? and there’s this whole thing about demon blood and angel blood not mixing well at all? well, i was thinking, how the fuck does that work. and i came to the conclusion that whatever stronger parent they had’s blood would like, tame the other or whatever, you know? but then what if they had equally strong - or equally weak - parents? like a child of an archangel and a prince of hell, what the fuck happens then? or alternatively the child of some angel janitor and a minor demon, would they even have enough magic?

so i figured if that happens it’s like as if a seelie has an autoimmune disease - their body is fighting itself constantly. for those who have very strong parents, this means that they are decaying quickly, and usually won’t be able to like, survive for long if they don’t do something. for those who have weaker parents, it usually means they’re weak

so these seelies are actually born mortal, and for the ones with stronger parents, pretty much with a lifespan of like, a few days before they end up dying due to the autoimmunity. so what happens for those is, they have this Cool Ritual that makes them immortal and solves all their problems

basically what happens is: seelies are one with nature, correct? but they’re also, like, individuals. so they have their own magic, their own energy, their own life source. right? so what happens to these seelies is, they tie this life/magic source of theirs to that of the universe. they basically become one with the universe fully, instead of just guarding it and being connected to it, they are literally tied to it, so much so that their magic and the world’s magic is one and the same. basically their life is fed by the same source that feeds all life, even mortal ones, and that source is endless, so they become immortal. it’s not a cure per se, since it doesn’t really stop their blood from fighting itself, but it does solve the problem because it has endless energy to keep doing it. and after going through this magical ritual, they become basically the strongest seelies around, because they have access to very strong demonic and angelic magic and the like, natural source of the world. so that’s pretty cool

and this whole thing is like. absolutely top secret, no one but the seelies knows how it works or even that it exists. especially because the seelies used to be basically closed off to outside influences, besides the very few representants they had going to the realms (like meliorn)

meliorn is one of those super powerful seelies, a child of an archangel and a prince of hell, who has gone through this ritual. which is one of the many reasons they’re, you know, a super powerful and respected Seelie Knight, sent to deal directly with shadowhunters and the highest threats they have to deal with, all by themself. no one would be crazy to go against them, because they are extremely powerful. it’s also why they had, to seelie standarts, been given a slap to the wrist for taking clary to twi - i mean, they didn’t even lose their position in a super trusted and highly important job, really? like yes they were tortured and don’t get me wrong, that was fucking awful dude, but i feel like the seelie queen could have been a lot more cruel, could have taken away their job (it would make sense to since they basically committed treason by seelie law) or exiled them, or maybe even killed them. but they got “just” a physical punishment. that’s. weird to say the least

so that’s why, because meliorn actually has a lot of leverage and importance. they have a rare condition, a lot of power that most seelies can’t dream of, and they are extremely smart and have knowledge of the culture of our realm, which most seelies don’t since their realm is closed to outsiders. the seelies can’t afford to lose them. and they know that, too, which is why they went so hard to help clary and take her to twi in the first place - they knew that they would be punished, but that it wouldn’t actually risk their position, or their influence

anyway! with the previous seelie queen gone, i like to think that meliorn becomes the new seelie queen (random hc that no one asked for: since i refuse to believe that seelies have any concept of gender, i think the position is called “seelie queen” because outsiders took a look at the first seelie queen, who’s very cis female-presenting, and were like “ah, is that your queen?” and to seelies that basically translates to just “monarch” in whatever their language is, so they were just like yeah sure. and so the position is called that and they don’t even know that it’s supposed to be gendered and that to outsiders meliorn would probably be called seelie king, they are just like “i am the new seelie queen” and no one of course is going to fucking question why they didn’t gender the position, especially considering how fragile relations with the seelie realm are) or at least is given like, an important position or something. like tbh i don’t stan monarchy so :/ but anyway the point is, meliorn is super powerful, they are super smart, they have knowledge of the mundane, shadowhunter and etc cultures - and after the whole previous fiasco with the jonathan thing and the seelies having been basically kept from the other realms, despite the fact that as parts of nature, seelies should be able to wander between them as they please, i think they would want to start a radically new external policy, and who better than meliorn to help them do it? so yeah i think they would choose meliorn to be their queen. besides, they love the seelies more than anything. they might have disobeyed seelie law, but that was to like, save a whole ass realm lmao, but they’ve always had the seelies best interests at heart, hell, they were willing to be tortured twice for them. so i think they would be well liked, and want this new position, and treasure it not as a display of power, but as an opportunity to lead the people they love into better times

DISCLAIMER: i’m not saying that seelies bad or whatever, okay. tbh i do understand perfectly why they would want to close off their realm with the very real threat that shadowhunters presented, and i wouldn’t be dying to integrate with shadowhunter society either, especially considering that their idea of integration was just genocide and assimilation and the destruction of their culture. okay? but in the process, the seelie law and realm became cruel, first and foremost, towards seelies themselves, and the banishment of them from other realms is. very bad. and after the whole jonathan and valentine thing, the shadow society as a whole is being reconstructed, so what better time to try and create new alliances that won’t implicate into attempts of assimilation, etnocide and so on. it’s a new bet, basically, one that is only possible because shadowhunter society is also in shambles after the near destruction of the world, and this means that seelies have more leverage to try and build something new without yielding to them. and it’s a SLOW process, one that takes years and always has the seelies best interest’s, not the shadowhunter’s or anyone else’s, at heart, okay? and it implicates in shadowhunters giving them many concessions, and the strongest alliances between them are and will always be with the other downworlders - this is also something they are working on, making the different downworlder cultures closer and stronger politically, aiding each other mutually and helping each other reach their political goals. together, the downworlder societies are unbeatable, and the shadowhunters basically have no choice but to accept their demands, especially after so much destruction. plus, at least some of them are slightly more willing to. but it’s mostly a vicious political battle that takes all of them years, not to say decades, to settle

but the fact that the seelies are willing to do it and getting stronger relationships with warlocks and vampires and werewolves (and hoo here i come with my “maia and raphael start a vampires/werewolves alliance” hc because look that rivalry thing is STUPID and i want to see downworlder societies coming closer together and healing after being very obviously pitted against each other due to shadowhunter supremacy) is also what, well, allows the whole thing to happen. they are powerful, and the shadowhunters have no way of taking them on a war, much less now that their forces are well, fragile to say the least

in short! they have leverage now. and that makes it possible for them to try a new external policy that wasn’t in the table before, and their main interest in doing that is helping themselves, because seelies are tired of living in constant fear in a basically military state where they’re confined to the same realm despite them being supposed to be guardians of all of them. like that’s gotta affect their mental health, if they’re one with nature, wouldn’t being kept away from it be like being isolated from your loved ones? isn’t that deprivation? so like. this is about them, not the shadowhunters and how great their society is and how much they want to be a part of them, okay

anyway! so the seelies have designed a plan (because under meliorn’s rule everyone participates in political decisions because hmmm *checks notes* i said so) to make stronger alliances with the other downworlders. the first thing they offer them all is a little token of alliance. to vampires, they offer the possibility of becoming a dayligher - something they can easily do with their angel magic, not to mention, you know, blood -; to werewolves, magical amulets that help them keep their wolf under control, not turning without meaning to and being able to live a relatively normal life if they so choose; and to warlocks, knowledge of seelie magic

and of course magnus in particular eats that shit right UP because he’s a naturally curious person and a genius and a physichist and holy shit i love him so fucking much. seelies have so much more knowledge of physics and magic and their natural workings, so much so that it makes him dizzy because hell, the possibilities, and all the shit he can learn, okay. all this knowledge that was currently being kept away, and the warlocks get to learn about it (or well, part of it. obviously the seelies aren’t going to go around spilling EVERYTHING to them all at once before they even know if their token is accepted and whatnot. but they do teach those who are interested a lot of stuff, maybe create some sort of seelie-warlock magical school/course/programme/look you GET IT to strengthen their relationships as a whole?? boy i eat that shit UP). he’s just losing his mind here

super cute to think about alec coming home to find a very disheveled magnus surrounded by books and notes, hair and clothes rumpled and just a whole mess as he excitedly reads and writes and runs around to get a different book and draw parallels, okay. and alec smiles and has to be like “have you eaten?” and magnus looks up from his books all suddenly like “hm? oh hello alexander, i didn’t see you there”, “have you eaten?” “i don’t remember” “okay, i’ll make you something, you can keep reading” and magnus smiling all like “thank you” and diving right back into the notes in Super Hyperfocus + Hyperfixation Mode as he figures out, like, a thousand new spells (obviously warlocks can’t use seelie magic because they come from different sources they don’t have access to, but like, the knowledge is enough for them to create so much new stuff okay), btw. but anyway, ANYWAY

and to shadowhunters the seelies offer, i dont know, a soggy cheeto or something faiojdsajdasj look it’s not like the seelies owe them so they basically offer a truce and maybe authorization to explore certain parts of the seelie realm in small guarded groups? i dont know, in exchange for them and all other downworlders having a power and a vote in the new shadowhunter laws, and the whole proccess of reconstruction of their society. and the shadowhunters agree, after vicious infighting of course

so anyway years pass and things are blossoming, downworlder societies are stronger than ever and phucking florishing dude, shadowhunters suck less, seelies finally get to wander around like they’ve been wanting to for centuries, there’s been some neato cultural exchange, magnus is still figuring out spells and shit at an alarming rate to anyone who doesn’t know what a goddamn genius he is. and shadowhunter society is- well, changing, but there’s a kind of cultural war going on, you know, with such a strong shift in paradigm so sudden. the changes in schooling and shit that were brought on by the new accords kind of ensure that the newest generations are getting a very different view and education, but there’s still a lot of infighting from shadowhunters who want to undo all that hard work, which is of course still fragile because it’s only starting

and alec of course takes a primary role in that fight, being the greatest representative of the progressive shadowhunters’ (?) and their downworlder allies’ interests, inside shadowhunter society. like don’t get me wrong it’s not like he’s leading the downworlders, the downworlders are doing all that hard work so they can get their own destiny back into their own hands and not be led by shadowhunters anymore, but within shadowhunter society, alec is a leader and their greatest ally slash eye in the inside, defending the policies that downworlders create and letting them know what is going on inside of the clave. basically preparing a cultural war. you get it

so naturally alec is a threat to conservative shadowhunters and they’re trying to strip him off his runes all the time, and there’s even been a few (quickly failed) assassination attempts, you know, the whole. drama. and he plays an important role for this whole game, and magnus has been studying the whole immortality ritual thing, and yeah, the seelies offer to put him through the ritual

it’s a matter of political leverage (and okay maybe a personal favor to meliorn’s dear friend magnus, but like, mostly political leverage). first of all, making alec immortal gives him a lot of power within shadowhunter society, not unlike meliorn and being the child of super powerful parents. second of all, no need to worry about assassination attempts, they can’t fucking kill him! third of all, clear message - alec has powerful allies, way more powerful than the shadowhunters can dream of, and if shadowhunter society is willing to create real, lasting equality with downworlders, they have a lot to gain. if not, they have a lot to lose, because the seelies have literal power over life and death. also, alec better watch his step, too, because, you know. he owes them that one. they are not stupid, they know alec has been looking for a way of becoming immortal for years now, know how much he desires this. it’s also about keeping his loyalty, and making sure he doesn’t forget, he’s supposed to be their ally too

and there are a lot of like, security things in place. alec will not be able to see or hear anything, he will not be taught how the ritual works (not even warlocks know that yet), he will not be taught about its forces, it will happen in the seelie realm and he will go alone, and no other shadowhunter will be granted that unless the seelies themselves offer at a later time, you know, etc etc. they list off things and precautions he has to agree to for like, half an hour, and honestly they could have added “alec will have to eat a piece of the moon” and alec would be like “okay fine great let’s do this”

magnus is fucking terrified

first, because well, they have never attempted to do that on someone who isn’t a seelie, and while they have figured out a pretty damn good understanding of how it works and are pretty sure it should go smoothly, there’s no way to actually tell. it might not work. alec might regret it. does he really want this? to become immortal? he doesn’t have to say yes, and magnus will not be upset, because he would never, ever demand such a huge sacrifice from him-

and alec’s like “nope i want this let’s go” which only terrifies magnus more because it feels like he’s being impulsive, you know? and he doesn’t know if there’s any turning back from this. but alec is like “magnus, when have i ever been impulsive? i’m not impulsive, i’m just sure of what i want, and there’s no reason to dwell on it because that’s already done.” alec is an expert at dwelling on things, and when he makes a decision, it’s because that part has already been thoroughly done, with every single possible argument being exhausted and taken apart minuciously and careful. there’s no room for doubt anymore, because if there had even a spectre of it, alec would still be ruminating. he doesn’t make a decision until he’s sure, but by god, once he makes it, he is sure, and nothing will stop him

so he reassures magnus of that (“hey, look at me. i’m not doing this on a whim. i have been looking for something like this for years. i’ve given it a lot of thought. besides, the seelies reasoning is good, too; i do want to have the time to dedicate myself to these changes, to building a new society, and with that, i can do it. there’s so much i want to live and see and do, magnus. and i want to do it by your side, yes, always, forever, but it’s not just about that. this is my decision. i’m not doing it for you. you won’t owe me anything because of it. you won’t have to make it up for it. because i’m doing it for myself. okay?”) and magnus kind of chokes up and hugs him and cries because he’s so overwhelmed by everything, the fear and the adoration and the relief of knowing that alec isn’t doing this just because of him, because if he had, magnus would forever feel like he was ruining his life, like he was indebted, like he would have to make up for it. but alec wants this. truly. and he doesn’t have to- worry anymore, this constant weight in his head, that tells him this has an expiration date, you’re gonna lose him. look at how much time you’re wasting with all of this, he’ll be gone before you even notice. there’ll be no turning back, and you’ll regret it forever. and fuck it’s just- so much, okay

so alec hugs him and they repeat to each other, i love you, i love you, i love you, and the next day, alec accepts the seelies’ offer.

and magnus is- fuck, terrified, because he can’t even go with him, can’t even watch. there’s nothing he can do but wait

but everything goes relatively smoothly and alec emerges from the seelie realm exactly as before, no change to be noted, not even when magnus scanned him with his magic - it’s all still there. still a shadowhunter, still the same runes, the same face, the same hazel eyes, the same smile and voice, and when he hugs and kisses magnus, it feels like just the same

and then i suppose alec can now, like, talk to trees or something, since he’s connected to the whole force of nature and whatnot. i don’t think he would be able to use magic, because like i said, he’s still the same and a shadowhunter so it’s more that his angelic magic is stronger? but he’s fucking immortal dude, and he can like talk to trees, which is at the very least funny as hell (cracky images of alec discussing with some shadowhunter asshole and he’s like, even your SUCCULENT is tired of you!! but i digress)

anyway the point is, it works both in the sense of immortal alec, baby! and the whole political leverage thing, and they basically revolutionize all of shadowhunter society and alec lives to see the results of that besides magnus, and meliorn is the greatest seelie queen ever, and the downworlder societies are all happy and blossoming and getting their best life, and everyone is happy, and the bigoted shadowhunters die and are hated by their own plants. the end

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lightshielded · 5 years

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"Magic is life, it's momentum and adaptation. Don't blame it for what you did to yourselves, Demacian."

‘ did to ourselves? please do not speak of matters you have no clue of. you sound like a fool when you do. ’ the king, arms crossed over his chest, drummed his finger idly on his forearm. his gaze was cool and emotionless, his words holding little more than the fact and truths of their statements. but as even as he spoke and as controlled as he appeared, his heart and mind contorted with anger at the ignorance and stupidity the other displayed. one does not speak to the ruler of a nation with such a flawed understanding of it as a whole. protector forbid, even he, in all his hatred of the place, still understood why noxus was the why it was. most seemed to understand, the world still remembered the calamity of what magic had done. what it could do. but perhaps this was simply a lack of knowing, their tone denoted an ionian inflection, and they seemed to have been spared the calamity the rest of the world had not.

‘ demacia was founded by people tortured by magic. those hunted for sport by those with power. did they do that to ourselves? did they create the nightmarish assassins which drove people to insanity and slaughtered the innocent? did we unleash the calamity of the rune wars on the world? no. these are all things created by magic, and all things we had to survive before our homes were even hovels. ’ he shook his head slowly and sighed. perhaps a fracture in perfect mask, a flicker of his annoyance and exhaustion in his eyes. he took a step forward, eyeing the strange creature up and down. he knew not what it was, but it was surely not human and the chances of it not being magic were thus slim. ‘ we did not strike first. but we have been hounded again and again. i will not claim my home perfect, our decisions are flawed by mortal limitations. but do not lie to me and say magic has ever been life to my people. ’

and now his mask shows his rawness at his words in true, the hurt of dozens of innocents dead and the lose of kinsmen. their life in their fantastical land might be different, but here the land still showed scars from what magic could do. it was not untrue that almost every demacian has had magic shatter their family in one way or another, whether it by ice wielding raiders from the north, magical battalions from the east, or beasts which lurk in the forests. he had once tried to see past its destruction, to what could be good at its core, but the desire to had been extinguished from him. ripped from his heart along with much of his love and happiness. ‘ magic has only ever caused us to suffer, and no matter if we meet it with aggression or with kindness, it will turn on us. my father and myself had worked for years to bring about the peace between us, but magic does not want peace. it wants power. so let my father be the last one to fall victim to its horrors. ’

#' have you ever seen a child's corpse mangled by magic. monkey? '#' because i have. too many times to count. '#— in character `#warrior-trickster #— answered `#— monarch `

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viterant · 5 years

Text

Some thoughts on Sheikah tech in Breath of the Wild

Spoiler warning for the beginning of the game (the only part I've seen up until now). Keep in mind that I've seen a small part of the game and that this is just my theory.

In the early shrine cinematics we can see what is likely the primary means of data transfer of the Sheikah: liquid transmission. A "Rune" is distilled from the stalactite and falls onto the eye of the Sheikah Slate. Next, drops of the said liquid bounce and fall onto the floor (some even vanish into thin air), and only a part of the original tear reaches its destination.

Now, from the outsider point, it's obviously not a big deal and nothing more than a graphic effect. However, even as a graphic effect, it is widely used in the universe. Why?

If the tear is really that valuable, then the loss of random chunks of information with every transmission is insufficient and even risky. If the Sheikah were that progressive, why would they allow such a loss, why not use another sheikah slate or even something like a computer?

The shrines were built to last for long periods of time (very likely, even more than 100 years), and if any priceless data corrupted, it could've been the end for link's adventures. This is likely the reasoning behind the technology used in shrines: reliability. And even though liquid transmission devices were likely much harder to design, the Sheikah considered them to be more reliable. And well, it's proved by time.

But what about those drops lost? Doesn't that cause the loss of data? If it truly is so, then the commincations wouldn't have been successful and Link would never be able to use magnesis or cryonis, or the other runes. Consequently, the Sheikah have found a way to preserve that information.

The liquid itself doesn't seem to be the source of data, otherwise it would've surely been lost. However, the substance dissolved in the liquid (which could very well be regular water) is. Now, the question is, what is the substance that could code so much information in it? There is an analog in our world and its name is relatively well-known. DNA.

DNA is basically chemical quaternary code, that dictates most of our physical characteristics. While it is unclear whether it exists in the Zelda universe or not, the Sheikah could've come up with a similar substance and used it to encode the huge amount of information required to use the different properties of the slate.

I don't think that the runes are the cause of the slate having this unique tools: they were likely built-in beforehand. However, the slate didn't have either enough data or access to be able to utilise those properties, however it did recognise their existence (i.e. the empty slots shown before Link receives the runes).

Now, there are two possibilities as to what the encoded info is. It is either the data needed to use the skills (software), or to decipher the data recorded in the slate (key). While both possibilities are plausible (and the latter would be easier to encode, as it's just one string of symbols), one is more likely to be used than the other, and that has to do with the Great Calamity.

The reason the level of destruction was as terrible as it was is because Ganon took control of the automatons used in the hyrulean army. Undoubtedly, they had a security system on them, but it was nothing for Ganon to break it. Thus, the lack of a key didn't stop Ganon from overrunning the software. And it wouldn't stop him from overrunning the slate and using those powerful runes to imprison or even kill Link. The "basic" functions couldn't really do much damage to Link if he were to wake up - that's why they had been locked with a key. The skills could - and that's why it lacked the required software

There should've been little-to-no software on the slate prior to the shrine visits, and even though this system is still flawed, it is stronger than the other.

So, the substance encoded the software needed to operate those skills. Chemical code recorded in the substance had to be de-coded, and those tools exist in our world as well, although they're not nearly as fast. Those are called DNA sequencers, and the eye of the slate is one. The Sheikah had ages to master the technology, so it wasn't impossible for them to create a sequencer that is capable of reading chemical code for mere seconds.

So, the liquid distilled by the stalactite is just a solution of the chemical substance. Even one molecule is technically enough, but counting the mutations and outside factors, it could analyse a set number of molecules and not care about the rest. Thus, the tear falling apart wouldn't cause information loss.

While this is most definitely a convoluted way to transfer information, it is quite secure and that is what mattered the most at the time. And it was worth it in the end.

#breath of the wild #the legend of zelda #botw #loz botw #zelda botw #analysis #i def spent too much time on this

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moiraineswife · 7 years

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“I’m not angry at you, just at myself… Because I knew this would happen, but I let myself fall in love with you anyways.” for Moriel (I don't know if I'm ready for this)

(.......I apologise in advance for what’s to follow...Sad. Very sad. Seriously. Avert ur eyes now if this is maybe not ur cup of tea. EXTREME SADNESS (ie death) WARNING.)

The cool, crisp fresh air of the Illyrian mountains is a welcome balm upon her feverish, sweaty skin. Mor pauses, drawing out this moment just a little longer, when she winnows onto the base of the high, sharply sloping hill. He waits for her at the top but she indulges, savouring the sweet, rich taste of the air. She’s been trapped inside too long, a cage of her own making, for her own penance but...For him she had let herself loose this day, this one day.

Her calves burn as she sets to climbing, higher, higher, higher, panting for breath halfway up. She should just turn around, go back, try again another day, she isn’t ready for this, she isn’t strong enough, she’s never been strong enough for this but- But she has to do it today. She has to.

The soft fingers of wind that had murmured at her in Velaris are replaced by a different monster out here. This gale tugs sharply at her hair, tossing it, unbound as it is, into great clouds of gold, curling around her head, a halo gilded by the sun overhead, one she doesn’t deserve. It tears at her dress, loose and uncharacteristically plain, pure white and simply cut. Her feet are bare, the harsh grass of these lands grazes against her skin but she barely notices.

Her heart is in her throat as she reaches the crest of the hill, her chest is tight, her body shaking. She clenches her firsts. She can do this. She can do this. She’s survived everything else this world has thrown at her in the past. She can survive this too....If she does...She’ll know she can survive anything.

With small, slow, tremulous steps, she approaches him, sitting down beside him she bows her head, tugging at her pendent, squeezing the smooth stone tight in her palm, rubbing her thumb absently over it again and again, letting that help steady her pounding heart.

Staring straight ahead of her, the wind falling silent, as though the world holds its breath and waits for her to speak, to say the words she’s kept inside her heart for five hundred years at long last. “I’m sorry,” she begins tremulously, “I should have come to see you sooner than this I...I know that.” She swallows tightly, still staring at the landscape around her. Beautiful. Wild and untamed and utterly raw. She understands why he’d wanted it to be here. It’s perfect.

“I hope you can forgive me,” she breathes, fingers absently tugging up long strands of grass, weaving them together, needing to keep her hands busy as she says this, give herself something else to look at. “I know you understand why- It was...It hard. It hurt. I hurt and I needed some time I...I hope you can forgive me,” she says again. She knows in her heart that he will but...The words are spilling from her and she’s barely in control of the torrent that escapes her. They’ve been kept inside for too long. They know themselves what she needs to tell him, better than she knows herself.

“But I’m here now,” she says, voice a little stronger with that admission. She’s doing it. She’s surviving it. This isn’t breaking her, it can’t, it won’t, she won’t allow it to. “There’s something I have to tell you, Azriel...Something I should have told you..So long ago but...We weren’t ready. I’m still not ready but...I have to say it. I have to.”

He won’t interrupt her now, not now that she’s finally begun. She has all the time in the world to say this to him. The only small blessing from everything that’s come crashing down around them all recently.

Swallowing, Mor forces herself to suck in a deep breath, her lungs protest, seeming to be made of stone, burning as she tries to keep herself going, as though even her body wants to give up. No. No she can do this. For him. She can do this.

“I’m not angry at you,” she begins slowly, “Because I know how you like to take the blame for everything, Az, but that’s not happening here. I was. I was furious with you for doing this to me but now...I’m not angry at you....Just at myself...” It shouldn’t be this hard, not after all this time, not after everything that’s happened. It shouldn’t be this hard. “Because-” She falters. Gulps down another desperate breath. Tries again. “Because I knew this would happen,” maybe not this precisely but...She had known. She had known that this path led only to destruction for her, that she would end up with her heart shattered and her soul in ashes and she had...She had.

“But I let myself fall in love with you anyway,” she finishes, closing her eyes and letting the weight of those words, finally loosed into the world, crash over her at last.

“It was worth it,” she says, nodding firmly. “I’m angry right now because it hurts, because I hate that I didn’t try harder to let go of you, because that would have made this so much easier but...Deep down...I know it was worth it. I know that I wouldn’t change anything. I did the right thing.” Even though she’s not sure she’ll ever be the same again, even though she feels as though a part of her has died, she still knows that she’s made the right choice all these years, that now was the moment to tell him, and not before. He hadn’t been ready. She hadn’t been ready. And Cauldron...if she’d tried to push him...What might have happened? What might she have become? This is better. No matter how much she aches...This is better.

The wind howls mournfully around them, sweeping over the rolling hills that surround them and she closes her eyes, letting it carry her away, for just a moment, just a moment on its back.

“I love, Az,” she whispers, as the sky darkens above them and that familiar hush falls over the world. “I’ve loved you every day for more than five hundred years. And now it’s over. Now it’s done. And I-” she breaks off, blinking away tears. “I’ll get through this. I know you’d want me to. And you damn well better appreciate it because I have no idea how I’m going to do that but...but I will.”

She opens her eyes again, turns at last to face him, “I will,” she breathes, stretching out a hand, “Because I love you. Because I will always love you.” Her hand presses flat against the rough stone, the carvings etched into it fresh and raw, not yet smoothed and weathered by time. She lets her fingertip trace every letter, his name, and the runes that follow.

Azriel. Brother. Friend. Partner. ‘The noblest act in this world is also the saddest; that of burning yourself to the ground to ensure those you protect will never feel the cold.’

She had chosen the words to go on the headstone, words from one of his favourite poems. Rhys and Cassian had both agreed with her decision at once. She had carved them here herself using her magic. A trained stonemason could have done it better but...It had been right that she had done it. He had deserved that. One last gift from her to him, the least she could do after what he gave for them all.

It’s been weeks since his death. She should have been here with him every damn day, should never have left his side. But the last time she managed to rise from bed was the day of his funeral. Since then she’s remained there, shut away, refusing to talk to anyone, barely eating, sleeping too much because she dreams of him and doesn’t want to wake for too long to endure the pain of living in this world without him.

But tonight...Tonight is their night. Starfall. She’s spent every single one with him since they met. An accident for perhaps the first fifty years, then a tradition the two of them had strictly enforced. Missions and wars and kings and high lords alike had waited upon them for this one day, this one day. She couldn’t let him down. She had forced herself out of bed, not answering Cassian and Rhys’ surprised exclamations at breakfast, and had made her way out here to be with him.

The sky darkens overhead and the first spirits begin to crest above her. She wonders if he might be among them. She hopes he is. She hopes that he’s still able to fly, at least this once, wherever he is now.

“You’d best be waiting for me,” she finds herself whispering, her hand still pressed against the stone, resting over his name. “When I see you on the other side you better be there, Azriel, you better be ready and you better kiss me so damn hard I feel like I’m dying all over again, do you hear me?” Her voice catches, tears clogging her throat, choking off the rest of her words and she forces them all down, sitting there, tears streaming from her eyes, one hand still clutching onto him the entire time.

She lets the rest of the night pass in total silence, watching the spirits drift down lazily from the heavens. She sees one star, burning a brighter blue than the others, lingering longer, seeming to drag itself back across the sky, forcing itself to remain longer for her so that she finds him, knows that he’s keeping up this tradition too, that he’s here with her tonight just as he’s here with her.

She remains on that hill all night, longer after the world has faded back into darkness, huddled against his grave. She doesn’t cry. All her tears are spent. She just sits beside him, holding onto him, letting the silence stretch.

By the time Cassian comes for her in the morning she can no longer feel the cold. The boom of wings overhead has her thinking, for just a moment, that it might be him. But the tread of footsteps is off, Cassian always so much heavier and more decisive than Az, who might have hovered everywhere for all the noise he made.

When he reaches her he brushes the tips of his fingers over the gravestone, his tribute to his fallen brother. Without a word he gently scoops her up into his arms. She doesn’t resist him, just lies limply against him as he flares his wings and takes off. As he flies them home she asks him quietly, through tears she hadn’t realised had begun to fall again, if he saw him last night as well. Cass nods, thickly murmuring that he did.

Mor can’t help herself looking up as they fly home. She wonders if he’s still watching over them, then assures himself that he must be. Not even death could stop him from protecting those he loves; his family. She prays, though, that he manages to find some peace, some time for himself. And that she sees him again soon. This world is colder, harsher, without him in it. Strange, how the loss of a shadowsinger could leave her world so devoid of light and full of darkness. But she will see him again. And in the meantime...In the meantime she’ll live, as she would have wanted...She’ll live and find ways to show him she loves him every day so that when they find each other again...They’ll be ready.

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