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chalkrevelations · 3 years

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OK, Word of Honor, Episode 9, and I know last time I got deep in the weeds about symbolism, but this week, I’m getting back to basics and rambling on (and on) about what this show is really about: Zhou Zishou and Wen Kexing and their relationship.

First, though, the usual warning: SPOILERS. Not just for this episode, but potentially for the entire show, so drive past and circle back around later if you want to watch all 36.5 eps unspoiled.

Bear with me on this one, because this ep spends a LOT of time on ZZS and WKX, and I think a lot of that time is ZZS making some Monumental Life Decisions, including how he’s going to proceed in this relationship and how he’s going to approach his life moving forward. But I’m finding myself needing to work through it chronologically, and it’s. A Lot. Also, let’s face it, ZZS has been my ride-or-die at least since he dropped to his knees and started disrobing in the middle of the throne room in Ep 1, so a chance to wallow in his emotional journey is a chance I’m gonna take.

So, we do have a brief opener when we find out Dead Guy who the Yueyang disciple was shrieking about at the end of the last ep is Fang Buzhi, AKA the Nine Clawed Fox, the guy who lifted WKX’s (Danyang) Glazed Armor (along with some replicas). He got got by mysterious somebodies in the previous episode, and we find out now that he has three tiny needles in his neck, which ZZS recognizes as a Tian Chuang technique. This leads ZZS to 1) assume it must have been Han Ying who did it, so the (Danyang) Glazed Armor is now in the hands of Tian Chuang, and 2) realize that maybe this is not the best place for the former leader of Tian Chuang to be hanging out right now, so he makes their excuses, because he knows that Gao Chong must be VERY BUSY now that he’s got this corpse on his hands, so they’ll just BE GOING, thanks so much. Gao Chong hopes to see them at the Hero’s Conference, and WKX responds in a Significant Tone that of course he’ll be at the Hero’s Conference, and now ZZS has his Thinky Face on again, because WKX is not nearly as subtle as he seems to think he is when he’s making Pronouncements.

The ZZS/WKX Show really starts kicking into gear that night, at the Getting Lucky Good Luck Inn, where we open on ZZS wandering contemplatively around his room, looking beautiful in the soft light of evening (your FACE, Zhang Zhehan) and ruminating on Prince Jin’s motives for wanting the Glazed Armor, like he’s never met this power-hungry asshole before. Also, he thinks to himself, wtf was that, with Gao Chong keeping anybody from seeing Chengling in the last ep? There’s a knock on the door, which momentarily confuses him - understandably, because as we’ll see, WKX doesn’t generally get the concept of announcing yourself and waiting to be invited in by knocking first, preferring to dramatically bust open doors (at least to ZZS’s bedroom) and grace you with his presence, whatever your thoughts on the matter are. He’s accompanied by waiters and dinner, and ZZS realizes his senses are going, presumably because he can’t smell this spread that WKX has procured in an attempt to prove what a good provider he is (what did I say about food and bonding? ZZS fed him in the market, and now it’s his turn to feed ZZS). WKX tells us that life is just three hots and a cot - which gives away more about your life than you would likely be comfortable with us knowing, Lao Wen, given how close to the vest you’re holding your cards – and that everything else can wait if you can have a meal with someone you like. :coff: (Also, remember this, it will come around again.)

Cut to dinner by flickering candlelight, the better for soft lighting to caress ZZH’s exquisite face, but ZZS isn’t into it at all, staring into space instead of eating WKX’s proffered Courtship Delicacies. This earns what’s possibly WKX’s most hypocritical and amusing comment yet, which is to ask ZZS, “What is it that you can’t tell me?” ZZS - apparently - is still feeling soft about WKX’s help against Tian Chuang’s Chengling-kidnapping attempt - or maybe he’s thinking that a little bit of opening up on his part will soften up WKX - because he hardly has to have a spoon dug into his ribs at all to admit that he’s wondering if it was a mistake to bring Chengling to Five Lakes Alliance. My dude, just steal him back, then. WKX laughs at him and tells him he’s got such a handsome face (true) along with a kind and innocent heart (false, he’s a former government spook and assassin, a part-time ill-tempered gremlin, and a whole-ass troll), and therefore girls will clearly go crazy for him (true, just ask me). ANYWAY, A-Xu, (WKX continues) now that the requisite random no-homo boilerplate is out of the way, are you really thinking of taking on Chengling as a disciple, because now is apparently not too soon to have the adoption conversation about Our Son. I almost expect him to pull out the adoption papers then and there. Instead, he pulls out a story - which is awkwardly placed and kind of clunky, actually, despite being thematically important - of a dog he had once, given to him by Someone Very Important, although of course he’s not going to say who that was (:facepalm:), and his mother warning him that he’d have to take care of it for life, and then he betrayed it.

So, there’s a lot going on here. We’ll eventually find out that ZZS gave Zhen Yan a puppy, so will this story of a gift dog jog ZZS’s memory into realizing that WKX is Zhen Yan without WKX actually telling him, so that WKX can tell his Bundle of Neuroses that it’s not reeeaaallly WKX’s fault ZZS figured it out? Also, WKX sees ZZS being like this about Chengling, and in the Chengling = Zhen Yan equation we’ve already established, is it possible this will prime ZZS to remember another disciple/young boy he took responsibility for, at one point? Of course, on ZZS’s side of things, it’s possible that hearing about this dog that WKX failed is likely to remind him of the way he failed his own responsibility to all the other disciples of Siji Manor, so, excellent way to take a stab at his heart, WKX! However, ZZS breaks the miserable tone we’ve become mired in by smacking WKX, chiding him for comparing their son to a dog, and getting them drinking. See, here, Chengling is the dog. Earlier, the two sisters A-Xiang rescued were the dog. Later, A-Xiang will be the dog. Unfortunately, WKX is going to have a blind spot and never quite realize that, in the Ghost Valley schema he’s set up, the Department of the Unfaithful is also the dog, but we’ll get to that in later eps. For now, cut to later that night: After dinner and a washup, ZZS sits on his bed, and we get some special effects to indicate that his hearing is also giving him problems, so he deploys his special Nightly Nails Torment meditation pose, and then we get the second instance of WKX playing the xiao to help him meditate and rest. (Junjun, your hands on that xiao …) ANYWAY, we get a gorgeous little bit of physical acting from ZZH here that could easily have been overplayed but is nicely restrained and subtle, with just the slightest smile when ZZS realizes WKX is playing, and then his whole body visibly relaxing as he allows himself to sink into WKX’s now-familiar musical embrace the meditation. It is :chef’s kiss:

Cut to next AM, when ZZS is now a very cranky boy, and I get this, because I also am exceedingly irritated when people bust into the room where I’m sleeping with an abundance of cheerfulness and try to get me to interact and do things without at least half an hour to creep my way out of bed, two cups of coffee, and an hour of silence before any attempts to converse like a reasonable human being (I’m looking at YOU, mom), and I don’t even have the excuse of seven Nails pinning me. Also, when WKX whips off the blankets, we learn that ZZH dresses to the right. :hands: I’m just making an observation. So, WKX wants to go to Yuefan Tower like some kind of wide-eyed tourist, and despite some smacking and scowling and death threats, we then smash-cut to the Tower, where ZZS has apparently come to the conclusion that the only way to deal with the ADHD gremlin crawling into his bed is to humor him about this daytrip. I think you could have come up with some more creative ideas that didn’t involve leaving bed, but I guess you’re not the fast one in this relationship, Zhou-ge. Srsly, though, I’m sure WKX would have been happy to do all the work, my dude. (I don’t always have strong top-bottom preferences, but you probably aren’t going to have much luck convincing me that ZZS is not a pillow princess who wants to just lay back and be spoiled. “Aren’t you a very capable man?” indeed. WKX has to do ALL THE WORK, god. I don’t know if I’m swimming against the current here – god knows I was in Inception fandom, where I felt the same way about Eames - but here we are.) Also, I can’t believe WKX didn’t just sit in the bedroom and creep on A-Xu’s beautiful sleeping profile for at least the amount of time it would have taken to drink a pot of tea, another viable option if it was me in this scenario. Tch. What kind of stalker are you, Lao Wen?

ANYWAY, at Yuefang Tower, ZZS tells us about the Four Sages of Anji, a senior-citizen polycule of soulmates who are, conveniently, at this very moment, on a boat in the lake beside the tower, playing music and sword-dancing. This is the first time they’ve been seen in 10+ years, after they put down their various swords and ran off together to live like hippies off-the-grid in the woods, probably skipping around naked, drinking “tea,” and having lots of sex. ZZS sighs wistfully while recounting this tale and calls them “a breath of fresh air.” There’s some discussion and poetry quoting and literary references to soulmates, and somewhere in here we get a shot of ZZS and WKX from behind which makes it super-obvious how hard they’re working the costumes to make Gong Jun look as broad as possible. He’s got the power shoulders on this set of robes, compared to Laopo ZZS’s soft, unstructured, flowing robes, and with those shoulders tapering down to the belted waist, they’ve got Junjun seriously working the Chris Evans Dorito silhouette. Meanwhile, focus back on their conversation: ZZS thinks that “the world is not important, finding a soulmate is,” giving some MAJOR FORESHADOWING for the end of the show (which we are accepting as “Ep” 37 because WE ARE), when we get that icy separation from the rest of the world but they have each other. WKX gives him a yearning look. ZZS looks back … there’s really no other way to put this … coyly, not meeting WKX’s gaze directly. This offers WKX and us a chance to admire his profile once again, thank you, Laopo. ZZS waits until WKX looks back out at the lake before looking at him directly, and his face journey, y’all. He’s thinking that it might not be bad to spend his remaining time with this soulmate, I think he’s starting to re-think the slow suicide, and he’s also thisclose to just letting WKX have him. Y’all, he seriously wants WKX so bad, here. It may be the first time we’ve seen this level of interest from him - it may be the first time, in all that we’ve seen of him, that he allows himself to even have that kind of interest. I think this is the next big step from Ep 6, when he allowed himself to enjoy being desired - now he’s allowing himself to desire, to want something again, other than a chance to drink himself to death in the gutter. This, right here, is a crucial point when he makes the decision to spend whatever time he’s got left living rather than just dying, and I’m flailing on the couch. This is the face of a man who’s ready to Make Some Declarations while getting railed within an inch of his life. SOMEONE IS GETTING SOME TONIGHT. Or he would if he wasn’t going to turn out to be such a fuckup. FFS, WKX.

But first, we cut to a scene of them back at the marketplace, wandering through as WKX mocks various sects in town for the conference – including the Mount Hua boys, who apparently look like virgins make their first trip to a brothel – and ZZS supplies background info on them. WKX asks if ZZS can tell what sect WKX is from, and ZZS calls him a messy bitch before asking if WKX can please stop making him play guessing games about everything and just tell him what WKX so clearly wants ZZS to know. (I know, right? But no, because then WKX might get what he wants, and he’s way too terrified for that, so you have to guess. That way, it’s not his fault when you figure out who he is and reject him, as anyone clearly will do because he’s unlovable and unforgiveable and not even really human, A-Xu.) WKX immediately changes the subject to ramble about the Hero’s Conference and how laughable all the sects are for wanting to be seen as heroes, blah blah blah, rinse and repeat. ZZS comments that only inexperienced people want to be heroes, that experienced people know “every character of the word hero is written in blood,” and yes, the character they’re using for hero, “ying,” is still the same character used in Han Ying’s name (which is not, by the way, the “ying” used in Wei Ying’s name, to cross streams for a moment). ZZS says he’s too old to be a hero (I and my knees feel you, my dude), now he’s just a wanderer, and he asks if WKX wants to be a hero or a wanderer, and WKX says that as a wanderer, all he needs is ZZS, and I’m telling you, someone absolutely would be getting some tonight if only he wasn’t such a fuckup, Lao Wen.

I’m’a try to wrap this up soon, because it’s gotten v. long, but we then cut to that night at the Getting Lucky Inn, ZZS drinking in his room, WKX busting in with his usual dramatic flair, with wine, inviting ZZS up to the roof to drink and look at the moon. He clearly has ulterior motives, but unfortunately for everyone, we’re going to discover they’re not the ulterior motives ZZS is expecting. As they lean back on the roof together, hands almost-but-not-quite touching, a romantic tune playing, WKX tells ZZS that he’s like, really happy! Just super happy! So happy! Ask me why I’m so happy, A-Xu! Spoiler alert: It is, unfortunately, not because he’s getting ready to get some from his laopo. This is particularly unfortunate, because ZZS chooses this moment to take another big step in this relationship, telling WKX that he’s not going to ask about things WKX doesn’t want to tell him, that he’ll wait for whatever WKX wants to tell him. On the surface, this comes off a little bit like, I’m done with asking when you’re not going to answer anyway, but in context – particularly on the back of the earlier scene when ZZS watched WKX turn on a dime and immediately change the subject to avoid exposing anything when ZZS asked WKX to stop making him guess everything – this is as good as a declaration of going all-in. ZZS is committing to this relationship on faith, without having all – or even most – of the answers about WKX, and his approach is going to be to wait until WKX is ready to reveal whatever information he feels safe and comfortable revealing. In practice, he’s going to end up being better or worse at this, depending on the day, but what it reminds me of, already, is that moment in the 20s (Ep 21? 22?) when A-Xiang and Cao Weining are arguing about her killing the beggar guy, he approaches her, she yells at him and points to the ground to indicate exactly how close he’s allowed to get to her, and his respect of that boundary she lays down is instantaneous and absolute. That’s what ZZS is saying he’s going to at least try to do, here. It also reminds me of the way he’s going to respect WKX’s decision on whether or not WKX is going to claim his place as a disciple of Siji Manor, without it affecting their relationship, so we really are starting as ZZS means to go on, here.

Unfortunately, we then find out that what WKX is actually so happy about is that his plan to burn down the jianghu is starting its next big step, and their romantic evening is interrupted by a bunch of dudes fighting and killing each other over a bunch of fake Glazed Armor. WKX mentions that he’s so happy the show’s started; he’s alternately amused, satisfied, and smug as they watch various fights; he seems to be expecting ZZS to also be amused; and I feel like the implication is that this was his real motive for inviting ZZS out onto the roof, to be able to watch this show with him. ZZS – who’s spent enough time standing ankle-deep in blood for six lifetimes and was working hard just a few weeks ago at drinking himself to death to try to forget what that feels like - is displeased and horrified, rather than very proud of what WKX has accomplished; he pushes WKX away from him when WKX approaches him to ask if he doesn’t think it’s all so very amusing; and he calls WKX crazy, then turns his back on him and walks away. To make things worse, the next morning, after WKX brings breakfast to ZZS’s room and actually knocks, only to find that ZZS has left in the middle of the night, WKX will witness an angry mob gathered outside the house in the woods where the Four Sages of Anji are staying for the Hero’s Conference, demanding a piece of the Glazed Armor the Sages are supposedly holding for Gao Chong, and eventually leading to the deaths of all four of these peaceful aging hippies whose commune in the woods was ZZS’s ultimate dream, leaving WKX horrified by the fact that his actions have consequences, including some that are going to make his boyfriend even more pissed off at him.

SO. All that happened. There were some other people in the episode, too:

We see A-Xiang and Cao Weining having lunch. She asks him why he’s not eating, calls him fat and cute, then proceeds to tell him about Ghoul, who likes to eat the faces of pretty boys. Her conversation skills could still use some work. Cao Weining vows to kill the ghosts of Ghost Valley who would do such awful things. A-Xiang actually ignores this slander about the evil of the residents of the Ghost Valley in a way that she doesn’t usually – usually she looks kind of unhappy when the Evilness of the Evil Inhabitants of the Evil Ghost Valley comes up, going all the way back to ZZS’s comments in Ep 2. Right now, she’s too busy pumping Pooh Bear for information, asking about why the Ghost Valley would have left a pile of heads on Yueyang’s doorstep if the Five Lakes Alliance is so great, so what is Five Lakes going to maybe, perhaps, do about this? Cao-dage is suspicious … that A-Xiang might be scared, but don’t worry, he’ll protect her. Oh, sweetheart. I could eat you up with a spoon, right along with Ghoul. Also, it finally registers that A-Xiang called him cute, but she has to step away for a quick confab with a henchwoman.

We also have to watch Chengling get bullied some more by a Yueyang shixiong who I think is Gao Shan, who we’ll later see bullying some prisoners in the Yueyang dungeon as he admits that he’s doing it to relieve his own frustrations and make himself feel better - fantastic disciples you’ve got there, Gao Chong, I’m super-impressed by the morality and ethics you’re instilling as a sect. Once again, I have to consider WKX’s position on the jianghu as a hive of scum and villainy. Anyway, once Bullying Hour is over, Chengling runs into A-Xiang, and he can’t manage to prevent the waterworks as he confesses that he thought he’d never see any of them again and that ZZS didn’t want him. UGH. Zhou Zishu, come and get your child back. He’s at least somewhat mollified by Xiang-jie telling him she’s been sent to take care of him, and god knows she’s managed to keep WKX fed and clothed this long, so she has some experience as a minder, as counterintuitive as that seems.

We get a quick shot of Han Ying (My Beloved) with two identical pieces of Glazed Armor, apparently realizing that there are fakes out there.

Deng Kuan shows up, beaten and stumbling, and nearly gets turned away at the front gates of his own sect as a beggar – have I mentioned how unimpressed I am by the Yueyang disciples? Deng Kuan appears to be the only one of them worth anything – before they realize who he is. He is put to bed and tenderly nursed by Gao Xiaolian, who cries over him as he won’t wake up.

Finally, Gao Chong, Shen Shen and Zhao Jing (uh-huh) are horrified to discover that there’s fake Glazed Armor fk’n everywhere in town, making Five Lakes Alliance look ridiculous, which is just fabulous as the Hero’s Conference is coming up, guys. Shen Shen, because everything is a nail, vows to kill anyone who makes problems. Later, Hei Zi, who plays Gao Chong, has an utterly fantastic moment after the deaths of the Four Sages (wow, I did not remember that we wrapped up their entire storyline within a single ep), when he’s haranguing Beggar Gang Chief and is literally all, “You want the Glazed Armor? :pulls a piece out of his robe: HERE. You want some more? :pulls another piece out of his robe: TAKE IT.” It’s a great acting moment, his delivery is perfection.

#zhou zishu #wen kexing #zhang chengling #gu xiang #cao weining #han ying #deng kuan #gao chong #word of honor #word of honor episode reax

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formless-monkeys · 4 years

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What is your favorite relationship(s) in the show (romantically or platonically, doesn’t matter!)

Anon you will regret opening pandora’s box. Or not. In any case, this post is going to be very long because I’m full of love. Also, anything marked romantic does not need to be romantic for me to lose my shit over them. In no particular order, either. Just in the order I thought of them.

1. The Black-eyed trio

Characters: Otto, Sparx, and Gibson.

Type: Platonic, Romantic,

Explanation: These three are grouped together by virtue of not being obscenely powerful and serving more practical uses on the team. Also, their eyes are all the same color. Besides the poetic connections of the colors of their design, they were alone in the robot together while the other three monkeys were out training.

Sparx and Gibson’s interactions give me life, going from playful jabs to genuine fighting right back to ride-or-die is amazing. The beginning of Night Of Fear, the battles in Brothers In Arms, and a bunch of small moments throughout the series are wonderful for this.

I could write an essay about Otto and Gibson, and someone else already has, but I’ll summarize it as ADHD autism solidarity with a side of Shut The Fuck Up Gibson. They care about each other and learn to respect each other in a way that’s better for both of them. I know a real-life Gibson to my Otto and learning that she’s just pretentious and doesn’t really hate anyone, and figuring out that we’re both equally brilliant and incredibly similar has made life a million times better.

Otto and Sparx don’t have as much development as Gibson with both of them, but their jokes together and general trust is amazing. Sparx is the dumb monkey and Otto supports him in his himbo endeavors.

These three together make an unstoppable technical team, and the only reason they probably couldn’t be a superhero team on their own is because of the raw power and fun dynamics brought by the other half of the team.

Romantically, these three would make the DUMBEST polycule ever. There is no true mediator here. It’s three dumbasses figuring out how they could possibly share a twin-sized bed when they have the ability to just make a bigger bed. Gibson calculates the most efficient 3 monkey makeout and none of them follow the statistics. They all give Chiro equally useless and conflicting advice on homework. Trying to give them a mediator in the polycule just makes me go back to shipping polymonkeys because I literally can’t decide if Antauri or Nova go better with them.

2. Quiet trust and encouragement

Characters: Otto, Antauri

Type: Platonic, Romantic

Explanation: When Otto is being dismissed by the other monkeys, or by the show itself, Antauri is usually the first to say “that’s bullshit, Otto is wonderful”. Circus Of Ooze is a notable example, but there are little moments in other seasons as well.

I just love the idea of the historically MOST SERIOUS and strongest monkey, sometimes even elevated to god-like status by some fanworks... paired with the monkey that has been infantilized and disrespected to no end. I personally like making Antauri have to lean on Otto, just to subvert that even further.

Beyond spite, I ship this simply because I like their dynamic. Antauri needs someone to ground him with more tactile physical things, and Otto needs someone to share his more nebulous thoughts I can’t imagine the others listening to. I love them.

Also, I want Antauri to unlock his true dumbass potential. He has the abilities, but not the will. Be silly with Otto. I want to hear him snort-laugh.

I literally forgot all the silver monkey stuff but I got three fics about that you know I go nuts over mechanic x robot shit.

3. The monkeys and their human son.

Characters: Chiro, Antauri, Nova, Sparx, Gibson, Otto

Type: Familial

Explanation: This family gives me joy. They were forced together through astronomical means and they made the best of it.

Everyone living in the robot is absolutely fucked up. They help each other in the darkest of times. They lift each other up when it’s light. They are a perfect team and nobody can be missing without it feeling wrong. But they can add people!

“Girl Trouble” as a concept is AMAZING to me but my secondhand embarrassment is so strong that I hate the episode. But never once is any of the monkeys resentful of Chiro. Not even Mandarin is like “wow I wish he didn’t take my place” no he’s also struck with the urge to nurture this kid to his fullest potential. Whether you see the team as a bunch of older siblings or 4 dads and a mom doesn’t really matter, they’re a family.

I mean, this also has a sprinkling of shipping all the monkeys in a really domestic way because I like seeing my optimal future in characters I like, but like literally all of these, it doesn’t need to be romantic for me to go nuts. I just think it would be fun to throw just a big monkey wedding or whatever. And funnier for Antauri to go “Chiro I’m having a baby. The baby is you” and holding up adoption papers because on the principle of Toby “Radiation” Fox I love that joke, especially when made much less weird than the original context.

I have a set of characters who is just 5 people in a polycule raising kids and living life because I really love this concept as a family.

4. Evil Coworkers

Characters: Mandarin, Sakko

Type: Romantic, Platonic,

Explanation: Why the hell are these two, in particular, working together? SK could’ve put Mandarin with literally anybody else and he chose what on the surface appears to be the LEAST compatible person on the account that they’re both monkeys. Some bitter asshole who now looks like the epitome of toxic masculinity and this tiny pink pet who used his femininity both as an advantage and a style. They’re different but it ends up working really well for both of them because they’re different in ways that cover each other’s bases. It’s wonderful. Pink and Orange go well together. Green and Purple go well together. Mandarin and Sakko go well together. Also, they clearly trust each other. During almost the entirety of “Hidden Fortress” Sakko was presumably just chilling inside of Mandarin’s armor. Mandarin trusted him enough to have Sakko in a place where he’s able to mess with his cybernetics, and Sakko trusted Mandarin enough to go into the battlefield with him and probably get tossed around.

If they were both human and in a more modern media, then they would definitely be shipped in the straightest way you can get without actually being straight. The Straightest Gay Ship.

5. A Witch and her Accidental Evil Coworker

Characters: Skelemandarin, Valeena.

Type: Platonic, Romantic,

Explanation: These two have been through some shit. Skelemandy was made to serve Skeleton King only to have that purpose yanked away from him. Valeena was groomed to idolize and serve Skeleton King for nearly her entire life. They were forced together by SHEER CHANCE and they both hated it. Arguably they both died at some point.

They both have absolutely NOBODY they can trust so let’s make them trust each other. All hilarity and sweetness comes from that.

Their dynamic is so good that I have them on a blog for a COMPLETELY DIFFERENT FANDOM and people love them with no context.

This is the only cross-species ship I have (besides chinmay and the antauri ships but that doesn’t count), but the fact that Skelemandy isn’t actually a monkey and needs no cybernetic assistance to be human-level sentient makes it a lot less weird. Just put them on equal ground power-wise (like by nerfing Valeena’s magic) and you have the ingredients for bonding.

They have like, no cute moments in canon, but that’s why we have fics and art. They have potential. I want them to help each other figure out who they are without their purpose. I want them to survive this horrible life together. I want them to figure out how to trust again. I want a lot but Valeena is fucking dead.

But she doesn’t have to be.

(Also Valeena is REALLY HOT and Skelemandarin is just me as a monkey)

6. Gay Dads

Characters: The Alchemist, Captain Shuggazoom

Type: Romantic, Platonic

Explanation: Oh my stars. Oh null. Oh me oh my hhougfhfakjghf. These two have the angst of Mantauri but on crack.

They only appeared in about two episodes each and all three episodes are top tier. They call each other “Friend” multiple times in their shared episode. THEY’RE FRIENDS!!!!!!!!! The face Al makes when he realizes that Cap is visiting makes me really happy. The fact that Cap had this whole Batman Double Life thing and he shows the Alchemist BOTH OF THEM is amazing. The alchemist is a hermit living in the woods and he lets Cap into that life.

There isn’t a lot shown, much less than everything else here. But that makes every single fanfic so much richer since they’re almost completely based on headcanons. Friends who have a mutual crush on each other but are No Homo about it? Secret boyfriends? Husbands with 6 monkey kids? An Old man and a grumpy Skeleton making it work? Literally just platonic friends? Dude, you can do whatever you want.

The tragedy of these two losing each other to one big horrible event crushes me. It influences my every move in my creative work. I have an entire character dedicated to reuniting these two in the most astronomical and ridiculous way possible because the alchemist angered the gods but she thinks he needs some company in his eternal punishment.

I want Clayton to unlock Al’s less serious, more fun side. I want them to work together. I want them to hold hands. GHGHGHDFBG UTTHTYE CNAZSNT EBCV ASUA ER

7. The girl power duo

Characters: Nova, Jinmay

Type: Familial

Explanation: These two were my only comfort during the uncomfortable nightmare that is “The Hills Have Five”

Nova was the one who trained Jinmay, and it seems like they hang out a lot offscreen in season 4. They fulfill the early 2000′s cartoon archetypes of girl and Girl, so they’re supposed to get along. If they didn’t I probably wouldn’t like Jinmay.

Nova is a really good big sister/parental figure to Jinmay, who never had any family to speak of.

Anyway, this entry has to be shorter because most of their bonding is in “The Hills Have Five” which is either #1 or #2 in my least favorite episode list. Not because it’s bad, but because it makes me viscerally uncomfortable. I really wish literally any other character than Jinmay was in her role in that episode. Or that the “taken to an offscreen area by an adult man while she screams” just wasn’t there. SHE’S 13!!! Nova did literally all she could to help.

I really like that scene in questionable where Valeena kills almost the entire gang. It’s what they deserve.

Look I just really like Jinmay and I always have. She deserves a good Mom.

8. "My Second In Command”

Characters: Antauri, Mandarin

Type: Theoretical

Explanation: The fandom has really made this ship go from “literally nothing to stand on” to “integral plot point in a lot of fics”. Seriously. I have TWO screenshots that vaguely imply these two ever stood next to each other on the battlefield. This was entirely title-based and fan-made until ProjectAfectivity interviewed Ciro. Yeah he knows Antauri but only as well as the rest of the team. Anyway. Wow. This ship.

This is by far the worst breakup in history. These two, despite what Antauri says, were on equal ground at some point. According to Ciro (and fan speculation), they trained together. This (and other Mandy ship) changes wildly depending on if you think Mandarin was corrupted by the portal or not. Maybe Mandarin was once a kind leader who just crossed the wrong boundaries and paid for it. He could’ve held Antauri gently before battle. He could’ve been the monkey Antauri went to when he needed someone to talk to. He could’ve hyped the team up like Chiro does.

Or maybe, they were constantly fighting against each other in small ways. An incredibly unhealthy relationship, yes, but an interesting story. I like stories where Antauri isn’t this all-knowing pillar of stability. He’s got weaknesses. One of them may have been Mandarin.

Now that’s a good nickname from one to the other.

Imagine Antauri, in a moment of complete trust, declaring Mandarin his weakness. A sweet sentiment. They both know the other is incredibly strong, and trust that the other would never take advantage of that connection. They love each other. Until...

9. "My Closest Ally”

Characters: Otto, Mandarin

Type: Theoretical

Explanation: Okay I'm looking at the screenshot I put for this entry while also having watched Evil Ages recently. My brain is making uncomfortable connections. Combine that with the fandom and the show’s general treatment of Otto and I’m about to slam my head into a wall. I really do not like that, but I feel like there’s somebody out there who does.

Anyway, this is Gibotto and Ottauri but with all the spice that shipping Mandarin with one of the other monkeys brings. When done well, it’s all the respecting Otto that comes with Ottauri and all the intimate partnership of Gibotto. And the Angst of Mantauri, but a lot more grounded.

It paints a lot of stories. A story of a single point of comfort in a world Mandarin thinks is out to get him. A story of powerful validation from the one authority in Otto’s life. Of letting your guard down. Of trust, then breaking that trust.

I’d LOVE to see some things with Mandottotauri because that’s epic and cool and poggers. Don’t see a lot, though.

10.The Hets, I guess.

Characters: Jinmay, Chiro.

Type: Romantic. Platonic. Canon.

Explanation: Look two entries on this list are polyamorous and four of them are mandarin so I have to say SOMETHING for the heteroes following me. Picked this ship over Spova because when I was a young child still suffering from comphet, I never watched the last episode of the show. I only saw up to season 3 at the most. This was the only canon ship for me. And out of all the ships, it’s the most relatable. I’m currently a teenager with black hair who looks really good in eyeliner dating a girl with pink hair who can pick me up and is unbelievably sweet. Except we’re gay and polyam. Wait a second I totally had a crush on Jinmay as a kid and now my gf is the Jinmay in this situation. Oh my god I was going to make this comparison if I did Spova too and I liked Nova.

ANYWAY

These are two LONELY kids. Chiro had bullies during school, and now he doesn’t even go to school. Jinmay hasn’t really had friends at all. Two kids with places in their universe that they aren’t too sure about, and just need someone to lean on. Their date was cute. They instantly bonded over their love of monkeys and I love that.

The super robot is sometimes an analog for Chiro, in the first two season at least, and the way the super robot held Jinmay’s hands to keep her steady on the COB while her head flew in was SO SWEET. Chiro’s instant recognition and reaction to Jinmay’s head being thrown at the team, as well. He really loves her.

I think it’d be interesting if she didn’t love him back, though. I might take a stab at writing that.

#srmthfg #super robot monkey team hyperforce go #srmthg #chinmay #Mandotto #Mantauri #Mandareena #Manokko #Captain Alchemist #Ottauri #Polymonkeys #Gibottarx #Anonymous

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yanderecandystore · 4 years

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bullies x final girl reader? like, they were recently the only survivor of a killing and they’re being seen as a badass ( rightfully so )? bonus points if the reader seems like ur stereotypical ditzy cheerleader

Honestly, I love this??

Recently I've been getting into Dead by Daylight and Slasher movies, but because I'm just too much of an uncultured swine, I can't get enough courage to open the requests for DBD headcanons.

I wish I could put more fandoms on the masterlist, but because I only follow a couple of niche fandoms (some of those weird ones, ya know?) I'm always a little too worried about saying my headcanons for them. I'm afraid of getting out of character 😂😅

🍭꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍮꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍰꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍮꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖🍭

Final Girl (yes, I know, really creative, I'm lazy okay?) - [Yandere!Bully Ocs x Survivor!Reader - Headcanon]:

Who would've guessed that someone like you would face such a tragedy so soon? A big event that would change people's perspective and morals due to the traumatic experiences, in a span of a day?

Or better question, who would've guessed that you would face everything in such a calm manner? Talk with your classmates like it was a common Monday afternoon.

Let's recap a bit, it was Friday when it happened, you were going back home and it was already getting dark and everyone was already either getting home after work, or leaving their home to go to work.

Your classes had just ended, but you still needed some work to do inside the gym, organizing some of the stuff that you and your friends used for practice.

You see, it's when the sun is starting to come down and everyone inside the city is being active and getting to one place to another, the exact moment when the city feels lively, that people feel more comfortable to just care about their business.

After all, it's a lot safer when there are a hundred strangers walking around. No one would be crazy to try to pull a move when there are so many witnesses.

But that's the catch, when the sunset ends and the moon starts coming into vision, it's the exact opposite of the calm daylight. It all depends on where you're going and how long does it take for you to get there.

Even if you live near the richest places with those beautiful villas, you still have a chance, even if it's minimum, to get killed in those silent streets. That's why everyone around that area is known to walk fast at night and be straight to the point.

But then again, you weren't going to the rich area of the city, no, you were going home, in a more moderate area.

I say moderate, because although crimes aren't really high around your house, it's not exactly a calm walk until you get home.

It would be worse if none of the students lived close to you. At least there are a couple of people to talk with, even if some of them are strangers or not really close to you.

It would be a shame if someone were to follow this group of people that aren't armed or prepared in any way, shape or form-

Oh no, wait!-

You can't like the whole event wasn't really traumatic, it's just that, your brain had blocked a couple of memories, you still have a hard time believing any of it happened.

In one second, you're in a group of 6, on the other, you're in a group of 5. "Someone must have got lost along the way", that's what the others in the group said, trying to come up with more positive interpretations while ignoring the worrying inside their heads.

" Everything is fine, we'll see Marie on school Monday surely!"

" She probably just went the other way, maybe she lives on another street and we didn't hear her say goodbye, that's all."

It was always like this, someone would ask where she could be, and someone would give them fake hopes that she was alright. But deep down you all knew she wasn't.

Something in the air wasn't right and everyone knew that. Even if y'all didn't really know each other (as some of these students were from other classes), you could still feel the same worries that Marie's classmate was feeling. He was getting worried that his classmate just disappeared out of nowhere.

He only had known her for a week, he told you explaining why he didn't know where she lived as she never told him. He decided that he would go back and see if she got lost or was needing help. And so, your group was considering if they should go after him or wait for them.

Or just continue like nothing happened.

After some minutes standing up and not seeing any sign of the two, you all decided to go home, as waiting any longer in the dark would be really dangerous.

So there was you and three strangers that were trying to break the ice as best as they could, but nothing seemed to change how terrible you were feeling inside, knowing that something could have happened.

You did make them laugh a bit though, you were fun to be around, and maybe y'all could have been friends.

But things didn't work out that way, things just got worse and worse that night. You were 6, then 5, then 4, then 1.

The killer wanted to go one by one, but he didn't think you or any of the other students would fight back. He shouldn't have attacked a group of six to be honest.

You managed to escape his grasp and turn to another direction so he couldn't follow you to your house, you were panicking, but using skills that you gained by being a cheerleader, you managed to reach a police station nearby.

Honestly, who said that cheerleaders are dumb just ate a mouthful of grass.

Of course they took some time to believe you, thinking it was a prank at first, but giving you a second glance it was obvious you were panicking and had run miles to get there.

They didn't find the killer sadly, but at least they found the bodies that were hidden in some of the alleys, a really sloppy killer, probably didn't have a plan B to cover his tracks.

The incident was all over the news, there wasn't a person who hasn't heard of what you've been through, people even want to have interviews with you, for you to tell the full story and experience, but honestly you're just too tired for that.

You wish you could rest a bit before going back to your daily life, since a lot of the things that happened that night are now a blank canvas inside your brain.

You weren't expecting people to treat you with so much respect though, it was… Pretty heartwarming!

People never have given you the benefit of the doubt, but now your classmates act like you're movie badass or something, but you can't understand why, you only did basic parkour skills to reach the station. You don't think it was a big deal at all!

( Although the cameras around those streets shown you making fucking backflips to jump a wall, but moving on-)

Even the twins that acted like mediocre bullies towards you actually show some respect for once. It's…. A really weird change and you don't know how to feel about it!?

But can you blame them? They were sitting in their couch messing around with their phones and out of nowhere the latest news passing on their TV is:

" Five students from Amaryllis Academy have been found dead at seven p.m by Police Officer Marcella Diaz, after a student named [Y/N] [L/N] had appeared at the Police Station claiming that a killer was following them all night-"

Like, can you imagine hearing that your soon to be wife had almost fucking died by some creep following them???! The audacity of some people, honestly.

But seriously, after hearing your name being mentioned in TV, they freaked out! Something terrible could have happened to you and they wouldn't know about it!

If you were dead they wouldn't forgive themselves even if they don't have anything to do with the incident. They wouldn't be able to sleep at night knowing that not only did you die and that the creep is lurking around somewhere, they wouldn't be able to tell you that they love you and that they're really sorry that they were assholes, and they will burn the man that dared touch you, and-

You know, some people say that after an extreme experience like this, a person would be reborned in a way. But honestly, you feel like your normal self, it just feels like the world is a lot different now. Maybe your perspective had changed, or maybe you did get reborn.

For someone that used to see the world as a great place, you're starting to see that not everything is perfect, and that things like this happen all the time.

That thought kinda scares you.

Lately, the twins have been really friendly towards you, almost suffocatingly so. They even started to welcome you inside their family's lamborghini so they could take you home.

They don't want you to go through anything like that ever again. You even began to go into their house on the weekends.

These past few weeks have been insane, you almost forgot how to breathe when you saw on the news that the body of the killer of your classmates had been found in a parking lot, burned to death.

You didn't know how to react, it was only two weeks after the incident, and he is found dead almost turning into ashes. It's so disturbing, that if it wasn't for the reassuring hug Alexandra has given you, you would fall flat on the floor.

You….. Are absolutely lost for words.

You guess… Maybe you don't need to be worried about him anymore….

🍭꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍮꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍰꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍮꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖🍭

#yandere #yandere oc #yandere x reader #yandere bully #yandere twins #sheep's stuff #yandere bully x reader #cheerleader reader #yandere bully x cheerleader reader #special delivery headcanons #special delivery request #yandere headcanon #yandere oc headcanons

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iceshard1011 · 3 years

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Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Sanders Sides (Web Series) Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Relationships: Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders & Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders Characters: Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders, Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders, mentioned logan patton virgil and thomas Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Creatures & Monsters, Background Logic | Logan Sanders and Morality | Patton Sanders, Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders Being Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders, Explicit Language, Angst with a Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, Violence, Blood and Injury, Brief suicidal thoughts, Imprisonment, Temporary Character Death, Character Turned Into a Ghost, Inspired by Art, I Tried, i've had creativitwin brainrot for weeks, something had to be done, Time Skips, Haunting, Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders is a Good Brother, Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders Has Issues, They need hugs, Minor Original Character(s), they're just unnamed antagonists Summary:

Remus wished there were more stimulating things down here. Or that he wasn’t down here in the first place. Or that he was dead.

so @fangirltothefullest is an absolute sweetheart and allowed me to mess with some story concepts from her #halloween au, so cheers. i hope you don’t regret it.

5k word story below the cut :)

A modern-day architect would rather have called the castle a mansion, as it may have remained for that long but certainly not in its prime. By then, it would be overgrown and unkempt, with the rock stained dark and wood rotting, and one of the wings would be half-collapsed. By then, it wouldn’t be considered a castle, much less be considered livable. By then, the lonely halls would be acquainted with grief and heartbreak and a sense of ambition strong enough to feel stifling. By then, the mansion’s story would be long irrelevant and forgotten, save for two important variables.

After all, for a castle, it didn’t have a dungeon.

The cellar, for as large as it was, had not initially been very entertaining. It certainly was at least a little interesting now that anything within Remus’ reach had been torn apart and strewn across the floor. The shackles around his ankles and wrists were thin and flimsy but damned hard to break. He hadn’t even got a crack through the links.

Remus hadn’t gotten any ideas until one asshole ventured down into the cellar, gave Remus a smug smirk from where he was tethered in the corner, and snagged a handful of bottles from the far wall.

After she’d left, sauntering up the stairs like they owed her a personal favour, Remus had stretched his leg as far out as he could and kicked the shelf hard enough that it tipped. The sound of crashing glass and the inevitable distress from future intruders, stumbling down for a bottle of shitty whisky or rum, was enough to satisfy Remus.

Only for a small while.

When they’d found out what he’d done, a few brave pricks had tried to make him pay for it, but he’d got one of them in the groin and the other in the eye. They’d quickly decided the gashes in his legs from the littered glass was enough of a lesson.

It wasn’t.

Taking away their small pleasures wasn’t enough. Making them mildly irked at their lack of celebration drinks only fuelled Remus further.

The next thing in his reach were the barrels. The food didn’t matter all that much; potatoes, apples, a few boxes of nuts. He tipped them over, kicked them open, tried to make the ground as gross as possible and the food as uneatable as he could, all the while trying not to wince at the waste.

The only things that seemed to love it were the rats. Remus wasn’t sure how they got in, because as far as he was concerned the only animals that got into the castle were the ones he had occasionally brought in (at the expense of a poor few maids and their sense of sanitation and Roman’s patience) but they ate at the mess he’d created on the floor. He wished he could have said it was one of the best days of his life when they found the fermented grapes. They also ate the spiders in the darker shadows of the room, which he appreciated. It was a bit of a pain when his body defied him long enough to shut down and linger on the edges of unconsciousness only to wake up and find vibrating spiders itching up his face.

Sometimes, Remus’ acts of vandalization were less petty acts of revenge and desperate attempts to escape his own head because everything hurt and he couldn’t stop thinking and every time he closed his eyes, he was crimson soaked and he hated it and it was too much he just wanted it all to STOP—

Those were the times when the old portraits and unfinished artworks were kicked to the ground, dragged around, torn and ripped and cracked and destroyed. The canvases soaked with the floor and strengthened the damp, musky smell which anyone else would have hated but Remus was used to because he always returned home from trekking through rivers or swamps and Roman would wrinkle his nose at him and shoo him away to get cleaned while Remus just laughed in his face—

The noise made as Remus curled in on himself and pressed his clammy forehead to the ground was nearly inhuman.

He didn’t feel much like a human now anyway. Perhaps more accurately a feral werewolf, or a mutant cannibal with a mouthful of fangs, or maybe even a malevolent spirit scratching and clawing at chains wrapped along his body, if spirits exist, which Remus was loath to admit he had yet to be proved so.

(He’d always said that if he ever found a ghoul, he’d drag it into Roman’s room and set it on him for the pure joy of proving his brother wrong and god fucking damnit could his mind stop thinking for TWO SECONDS?)

Remus wished there were more stimulating things down here. Or that he wasn’t down here in the first place. Or that he was dead.

No one came down here, not after he’d attacked the food and drink and then any face that wasn’t familiar. Which included all of them, now. They had all probably figured that he had enough in the cellar to sustain him for however long they were going to leave him down here. Or they were going to let him die of malnourishment. He didn’t have much of a preference.

(He did, but it wasn’t the “right” preference.)

Once, he wasn’t sure how long ago now — hours, days? — a timid, shy looking servant had plucked up enough courage to venture into the cellar with him. They’d offered some clean food and a cheap chalice of water. He’d been mildly surprised when they’d gone so far as to placing it easily within his reach and not expecting him to pop a shoulder from its socket trying to get it.

Remus remembered thinking, for a moment, that they probably shouldn’t have been down in the cellar, and that food and water was probably not supposed to be for him, and they were probably risking something by doing this, and that they certainly hadn’t been part of the initial takeover.

But then he’d taken one look at what he’d been brought; the cruel reminder that he was stuck in a basement, chained and alive and he would rather just— just—

He didn’t remember knocking the tray aside or lunging for the servant despite the chains painfully biting and tearing his skin. He could vaguely picture their terrified expression as they whirled and scrambled back up the steps, and the way the light dimmed with the slamming of the door.

He never saw or heard from that servant again. He hoped it was merely because they were scared of him now, and not something more sinister.

Remus shifted, his legs scraping across the ground. He wished the sharp sting coming from where the embedded glass pieces were enough to distract him from the bone deep throb echoing through his whole body.

He twisted his hands, a habit that had gotten him wrists rubbed raw and nails chipped and bleeding. It made his shoulder ache, too. He’d dislocated it at some point. Before or after being thrown into the cellar, he wasn’t certain.

It wouldn’t be much of a surprise if Remus found out he was already dying. Injuries he’d been dealt previously had yet to be treated, and he was willing to bet any chance of freedom that the open, festering wounds were now infected.

Breathing was painful, too. Whether that was the result of broken ribs or something else, Remus had yet to decide.

It didn’t really matter all that much to him, anyway.

Remus closed his eyes and wished for sunlight.

The bush had clearly been munched. Remus leaned down to squint at it, eyeing the berries and the half-eaten leaves. The muddy banks of the creek proved Remus’ suspicions with a small, almost indistinct trail of hoofprints.

Remus grinned. He shook off the persistent black beetle, which had been trying to crawl onto his boot and turned.

“Alright Moonshine,” he announced. “We’re on the right track.”

The Appaloosa nickered in reply as he swung back onto her back.

“Yeah, I know I can’t call you that in public,” he said, “but there’s no one else around here, is there?”

Moonshine snorted in agreement. Remus nudged her sides and she started forward, delicately clopping over the riverbed. She was much more tranquil than Remus’ old horse, who had been an absolute delight to go on adventures with. Too bad Roman let the stupid advisors boss him into getting rid of her, since she was such a menace. Admittedly, she had been a menace, and admittedly, Remus had loved her very much.

Roman had given him Moonshine and told him to call her Moon in front of anyone else. Remus had decided it wasn’t an all-bad apology. This horse didn’t kick him when he approached her, which he supposed was a bonus.

Given Moonshine’s naturally mild attitude, he was understandably perturbed when she stopped in her tracks and began to back up. Remus frowned and scanned the surrounding trees.

“Nothing’s there, girl. Go on.”

Moonshine snorted anxiously. Her ears swivelled. Remus followed them, glancing back the way he’d come. They weren’t that far from home. What was going through her head?

The horse’s hooves skidded across the ground. Remus narrowed his eyes.

“You smell something?” he asked. Moonshine waved her head from side to side, her eyes rolling. Remus glanced up. Past the treetops, there was a trail of smoke curling up towards the clouds. He couldn’t see where it was coming from, but the unsettled feeling in his gut told him he was quite sure he already knew.

Despite her protests, Remus twisted Moonshine to face the direction of the castle and dug his heels into her sides.

The slamming of the cellar door flung Remus’ eyes open, accompanied by the rapid thumping of his alarmed heart.

He scowled at the thudding of heavy boots on creaky stairs and wondered where Moonshine had gotten to. He hadn’t seen her since he’d reached the castle doors. He hoped she was still intact. Perhaps she had run away the moment he’d dismounted. Perhaps he was more of an unrealistic optimist than he knew himself to be.

Three pale faces bobbed down the stairwell and approached Remus. Remus greeted them with a snarl and feint, to which they all reacted wonderfully with varying degrees of fear. It satisfied Remus enough to remain passive while the guards gripped his arms and detached the chains from the wall. They dragged along the ground with a painful scrapping ring as they heaved Remus up the stairs.

He waited until they’d kicked the cellar door closed behind them to punch the first guard in the face.

He got a kick to his knee for it, and it collapsed under his weight, but they only had to put more effort into keeping him upright, so was it really much of a loss?

Remus didn’t know for certain where he was being taken — dragged, really — but he had a vague inkling that made something in his stomach uncurl ever so slightly.

Twenty minutes later, the first guard with a soured mood, the second with a bruised cheek and the asshole at the back with a broken nose, Remus considered it a win by the time he was flung to the ground at a pair of pretentiously shined stolen boots that glinted maliciously up at him.

“Providing my guards with a hard time, were you?”

Remus bared his teeth skywards. The asshat snorted, like he was amused at the display, and anger curled in Remus’ gut. He shot up, his chained hands reaching, grasping, clutching mere inches from that smug dickface’s gob.

“Go piss into a wolf den, asswipe,” Remus told him. He got another laugh in reply, so he jerked forward and smashed his head to the man’s jaw.

The dickweed staggered back with an agonised cry, and once more Remus felt something in him curling and clenching and biting because really, he couldn’t handle a little bit of a chipped tooth?

“Fucking pussy,” Remus scoffed under his breath.

The man, who was no more a leader than he was a sack of shit sitting in the middle of a grandly polished entrance room, waved to the balcony. “Get him out there.”

The balcony, Remus quickly found, was the centre of attention for a goddamn amphitheatre-esque performing stage.

“Putting me on my knees?” Remus asked as he was shoved to the ground a second time. Whale Penis sneered down at him, still rubbing his swollen jaw. “It’s not the most romantic setting I’ve ever seen. And you haven’t even taken me out to dinner yet.”

“One more word out of your mouth, and I’ll cut out your tongue before your head.”

“Sorry, you skunk-smelling scumbag-of-puke-smelling plaything for a dog,” Remus spat. “I’m into that.”

Cocksucker curled his lip distastefully. He waved his hand, and Remus was bent over a slab of wood that bit into his throat.

“Personally, I’m a bit of top, myself,” Remus said despite the glint of metal now shining ominously above his head. He had to shout over the noise of the people below. “But whatever. If you’re into doggy style—”

“Enough!” Son of a Screaming Banshee Bitch yelled. Silence fell. Remus squinted down at the crowd, but he couldn’t discern any familiar faces. Either they were hiding themselves from him, or… “I thought you would be far more amusing, yet unfortunately, you’ve proven me wrong. I have had enough of this, and you.” He shoved a finger at Remus’ face. He’d bite it if he could. (Given his head was trapped between wood, waiting to be severed from his shoulders, he very clearly couldn’t. The urge was still there, though.)

Murderous Bastard turned to the man standing above Remus and said, “Execute him.”

The blade swung down. Remus grinned.

Finally.

When Remus strutted out into the room, wearing before multiple servants, council members and advisors a frilly green dress blown out around his feet and shrinking down his chest so much it was a relief he did not possess the ideal female body, Roman’s headache returned tenfold.

It didn’t help matters that Remus was continuing a rant from the night prior — one that involved his very open, very shameless, very dangerous thoughts about some poor attractive sod he had seen the week he had ventured into town.

“Remus,” Roman said placatingly.

“You should’ve seen it; he was just looking for trouble dressing like that!”

“I can imagine,” Roman said, not unkindly. Normally, he would indulge Remus for longer, but he could tell that the others in the room were beginning to grow agitated and uncomfortable.

“And I don’t even know why I like him. He’s not even that interesting!”

“It’s all about looks,” Roman assured him blandly, moving his attention to the scrolls before him. One advisor leaned down to murmur their input to him.

“Ah, right!” Remus said, bonking himself on the forehead with the palm of his hand. “Dick size! How could I forget? I must be ill.”

“Remus,” Roman said with a sigh, and his brother finally, finally fell quiet. “I would like to hear more of this, truly, but… Perhaps at a different time?”

Remus wrinkled his nose.

“When I’m not in the middle of a meeting?”

Remus’ scowl deepened.

“That you should be a part of as well?”

Remus’ sour expression dropped. He glanced away, wearing the face of someone who knew they were caught red-handed doing something they should not have been doing. Roman raised his eyebrows.

Remus whirled. His dress swiveled around his ankles. “I’m going hunting.”

“Wearing that?” Roman asked after him. Remus flipped his brother off on his way out the door. Roman squelched his smile when he spotted the disdain on the advisors’ faces. He continued to discuss with the others in the room, quietly wondering how many more seconds in Remus’ presence they were from all having simultaneous strokes.

Luckily (or not) that didn’t happen when Remus poked his head back into the room, his dress swapped for his hunting attire and announced, “I’ll be back by sunset, probably.”

Roman hid his smile and told him, “Bring back dinner.” Remus grinned brightly and Roman was sure one of the counsellors almost squawked in outrage.

Roman was loath to admit it in front of anyone, but going about his day as he was required was a duty nothing short of exhaustingly mundane without Remus. His brother always provided some level of amusement, even if it became distracting at times. Roman supposed that burying oneself into one of the empty armour suits used purely for décor and prancing around to ambush unassuming servants was not an agreeable practice. Remus never enjoyed being cooped up in the castle, though. He got restless, and Roman knew he wasn’t simply “acting out” when crammed into small spaces, no matter how large the castle.

By the time Roman emerged and escaped to the balcony, his headache had spiked to a near-migraine. He tried not to slump but leaning against the railing felt pitifully relaxing after sitting rigidly straight for the entire day.

He was so busy massaging his temples that at first, he hadn’t registered the sudden disturbance down the corridor from him.

Don’t groan, Roman told himself as he stifled a heavy sigh and turned, venturing towards the noise. What was he going to have to deal with now? With any luck, Remus was back and causing mayhem. Roman could do with his brother’s carefree nature at the moment.

He didn’t expect the Great Hall’s polished floor to be splattered with blood and all exists guarded at weapon-point.

“I’ll ask once more,” a voice called. Roman traced it to one of the strangers, who was now looking down at a councillor. “The lord of the mansion is… where?”

The advisor’s gaze caught Roman’s, and he pointed without a moment’s hesitation. Disappointing, Roman supposed, but he didn’t have it in him to be surprised. The intruder turned, a wide smile plastered to his lips when he spotted Roman standing in the hallway entrance. The look in the stranger’s eyes was full of confidence, but one that Roman couldn’t see in a leader.

“It’s prince, actually,” Roman said, briskly walking to the centre of the room before one of the lingering members included in the odd style of takeover could take a swipe at him. “Given our parents were connected to the royal family.”

The man tilted his head. “Interesting. Do you always talk so highly of yourself?”

Roman tried not to scoff indignantly. “Do you always invade people’s homes to mock them?”

“It’s a profession.” The man stalked forward, strides long and slow and not unlike a hunting predator. Roman didn’t miss the sabre at his side.

Still, he only barely managed to repress the flinch when the blade was brought inches from his neck. “Are you aware of how many people your parents fucked over?”

Roman gave him a raised eyebrow. “Were you among them?” he asked, his voice pitched innocently.

The man’s expression darkened, but then dropped to be startled when he found his sabre being obstructed by the blade of a golden-handled rapier. Roman gave him a considering look and a smirk that bordered between sly and puzzled.

“This is not how I remember duels beginning,” Roman said. The man frowned, but the way he immediately tried to kick Roman’s knees told the prince pretty much all he needed to know.

“You’re not very experienced, are you?” Roman asked, easily sidestepping a slash for his shoulder. “Did you think you could just storm a random place with force and some scary blades?” He twisted away from a swipe at his ankles.

“I have help,” his opponent assured him. “If I wanted it, you’d be dead already.”

“You should meet my brother,” Roman said. Blood sprayed to the ground when his rapier left a line along the man’s cheek. “If you weren’t trying to invade our home right now, I believe you two would make a great pair for collective destruction and carnage.”

“I’m sure.”

Roman just barely managed to escape the severing of the tendons of his wrist with the next attack. He skipped a step backwards and used the change of weight and positions to darted around the challenger (a mild and rather polite label for the gang who had already taken several lives unauthorised and attacked without the laws of a proper duel in mind). The man’s legs buckled beneath him with one kick, and Roman leapt away before his own legs could be caught by the edge of a blade.

“What is this all about, then?” Roman asked, frowning at the man as he struggled up from the ground. His sword was lowered, if only in consideration for not attacking a felled objector, but his senses were still running on hyperdrive; the servant at the back of the room was still alive, just barely, despite the blood projecting from their throat. The two intruders near the hallway that lead to the armoury looked like they were discussing bets. To the left, a gang member was inspecting the rings on the hand of a dead councilman. “Surely you could have robbed this place by now.”

“I’m not going to monologue and give you a chance to hatch some grand escape plan,” Roman’s combatant snapped, rising to his full height. “I’m not that dull.”

“Oh, no,” Roman said, because that hadn’t actually crossed his mind, “I’m genuinely wondering what you’re thinking.” He was levelled with a doubtful look, so he continued; “This all seems either incredibly planned out or a spur-of-the-moment decision that carried you here with a number of men and weapons. So what do you want? Money? Is it a ransom? The actual lord and lady of the house died months ago. You can’t get revenge on them.”

“No,” the man agreed. “But I can with you.”

Blazing hot pain sliced along the back of Roman’s leg. It was so sudden and intense that he couldn’t bite back the scream that tore his throat. His knee buckled but he regained his balance by twisting away from his attacker from behind and waving his sword.

“I have help,” the man reminded him with a smug smile. Roman’s lip curled in distaste.

“No honour among thieves, I suppose,” Roman mused, grinding his teeth and forcing himself to stand straight. He wrinkled his nose after a moment. “What the hell are you burning?”

“The gardens.”

Roman rolled away from an attack from someone at his flank and whirled to glower at their leader. “Why?”

The brute dared to look Roman in the eye, shrug, and say, “Felt like it.”

Roman growled and left an open gash along his assailant’s dominant arm. The man shouted and teetered back. Roman swiped another wound down his calf. He dodged a hit from behind and ignored the shriek from the attacker behind him as they clutched at their eye.

Two other guards dropped the more their leader was pushed back to the point of the stairs at the back of the Great Hall, where he was tripped and pinned by a blade to his throat.

Roman glowered down at him. “I was already in a foul mood today,” he said informatively, “and I am less than impressed at your vandalization as well as the murder of the people who live here.” His eyes darkened dangerously. The tip of his rapier brushed the bob of the man’s throat. “Letting you go to live the rest of your life in a prison cell seems like a generous offer to me.”

The entrance doors burst open with a thundering crack and Roman jolted, his grip tightening on his hilt in fear of dropping it. He wasn’t expecting his brother to explode into the room in a furious whirlwind and start swinging his morning star.

“Remus!” Roman barked, almost involuntarily. What the hell was he doing here? “What are you doing?”

His brother glanced up, looked Roman in the eye, and smashed the head of one of his attackers beneath his boots. Roman grimaced. More blood spilled onto the floor.

The leader of the foolish escapade launched himself from the ground while Roman was distracted, and the two of them rolled down the steps. Roman flung his arm out to deflect a dagger stabbing for his face, but his sword flew from his grasp, spinning across the floor with a singing screech. He got another punch in on the leader before one of the moron’s backups dove to pin his arms down.

Remus shouted his name, and he twisted his head in time to watch his brother get kneed in the stomach and thrown to the ground.

He couldn't get up; the leader’s dagger was positioned to just barely be touching the edge of his eye in silent threat. He was going on about something to do with revenge and blah blah I’m a villain. Roman pressed his knees to their chest, gifted him a winning smile, and kicked.

The moment that the man went flying Roman clambered away from the other guard, making for Remus at the same time as his brother smashed heads with his attacker, sending them slumping to the ground.

Relief made Roman’s muscles go weak for half a second, but it was all the leader needed to pounce on him a second time.

“Consider this a generous offer,” the man snarled and buried the dagger to Roman’s chest. Roman scrambled backwards, still looking around for his sword. If he could just—

He cursed as his arms dropped his weight.

“YOU SON OF A BLOOD-SUCKING PIG FUCKER,” Remus roared.

Roman kept his breathing even. He glared up at the criminal. “You’re a coward.”

“And you’re dead,” the man replied. Remus careened forward, missed the leader when he dodged, and paid him no more attention in favour of skidding over to his brother. Behind him, a guard raised a crossbow, but he was waved away. The leader watched the pair before him, something akin to sadistic interest lighting his eyes.

A few moments later, though, he’d wave a hand, and a group of his followers would pin the one with the angrily twitching moustache to the ground and drag him somewhere to be contained. There were more exciting things to deal with, and an emotionally repressed brother going through grieving was not one of them.

Remus was snarling like some wild thing, and when he stopped shaking his brother he whirled around, teeth bared and fists clenched and eyes unfocused.

He was knocked to the ground before he could attack. The leader got a fat blob of spit on his shoes and a disgustingly unfavourable insult hurled at his person shortly before a sword hilt connected with the back of his skull and he went as limp as his brother.

Remus was having a Very Bad Day.

He wasn’t sure when he decided, exactly. It had probably been on its way for quite some time, but Remus was always bad at calculating emotional responses and realising when Bad Days were on their way, so perhaps this was not completely unexpected. It did not make anything any easier.

The smallest noises around the mansion had him jumping. Earlier, he’d snarled at the door that always creaked in the kitchen. He’d given Thomas a bad scare, too, when he’d looked at the werewolf and lunged for him with his own bared teeth.

Remus hadn’t realised it was so bad until Patton had walked into the room, screamed, and Remus had spun to see all the furniture levitating off the ground.

Growling, he shuddered from head to toe, trying to dispel the jittery energy tingling in his limbs. Which was stupid, he was being stupid. He wasn’t even physical anymore, he shouldn’t be feeling bugs crawling beneath his skin.

He regarded the jagged shards grouped on the ground and wondered if Logan was sick of him breaking his vases. Several vases, multiple lights, any painting he came across and a variety of decorative plates and bowls had already been destroyed in his trail.

He wanted to kick at one of the pieces, but only the wisp of his body misted around the ground uselessly. The chains strapped to his body scraped across the floor. Remus blinked down at them for a moment, and they began to morph into a pair of blood-splattered weapons and a soaked uniform.

Vehement fury boiled out of him in the form of a low snarl.

The furniture in the room lifted again, now shaking like Remus had dumped the bugs on them instead. Something behind him shattered with his clenched fists.

Movement caught his eye and he whirled, claws elongated and teeth sharpened.

Roman regarded him mildly, calmly taking in the destruction of the room. Remus shifted, still bristling, but now silent as he watched Roman move past him and try to push a flowerpot back onto the desk from where it was dangerously tilting forward. It didn’t move, even with his effort. Remus swallowed needlessly and joined him, successfully pushing the pot to a safer position.

“Sorry,” said Remus, sounding like dragging chalk and screeching metal.

Roman glanced at him. He didn’t ask what he was apologising for. He never did. Remus wondered if he feared the answer. “You’re a poltergeist. Isn’t this behaviour standard?”

Remus worked his jaw, but nothing came out. Roman’s gaze swept back over the room. “Logan will be grateful you spared his photo frames.”

Remus cracked a cheek-to-cheek smile full of teeth. “Only for when Patton’s not in the mood.”

Roman visually sighed, though no sound accompanied the gesture. Remus tried scratching at his arms, but they only phased harmlessly through. He growled to himself. Roman squinted at him. “Your neck is bleeding again.”

Remus took the opportunity to tilt his head exaggeratedly and unnaturally to the side. Roman’s face twitched, a hint of a wince.

“Remus,” he admonished quietly.

Remus shrugged and shifted away. He frowned at the far wall. Roman did not reach for him. He never did. Remus never asked; he had a solid idea why. If he were in his brother’s position, he wouldn’t care much for being affectionate with him, either.

“Virgil and Thomas were making warm drinks when I last left them. Would you like to join them?”

“We can’t drink that shit,” Remus spat.

Roman didn’t react. “It’s not about the drinks.” Remus curled his lip. “I know you don’t like to interact with them, but perhaps it will be good for you.”

Remus gnashed his teeth. The chains curling heavier around his body. He glanced down the hallway. If he concentrated hard enough, he could imagine Thomas’ joyful laughter and Patton’s giggles. It made him angry, how they could be so carefree. How they got away with being monsters and could still smile.

“Come on.” Roman brushed past him, their shoulders just barely touching for a mere moment. “If you hate it still after a little while, I won’t bother you again.”

Remus huffed. He trailed after his brother, shoulders slumped. Roman glanced back at him and he scowled back, making his point evidently clear without whining further.

Then, Roman gifted him a small, genuine smile. Something in Remus’ chest leaped, but it couldn’t have been his heart because that thing didn’t work anymore.

He grinned back, but by the sad look in Roman’s eyes, he could tell his brother knew it wasn’t genuine.

“Only a little while,” Roman reminded him. Remus sighed, low and grating and painful. The blood around his throat lessened, only slightly.

“A little while,” he echoed, and followed his brother.

#sanders sides #remus sanders #roman sanders #creativitwins #listen i've had creativitwin brainrot for weeks #Angst with a happy ending #cross posted on AO3 #please be mindful of the ao3 tags #there could potentially be some quite triggering content

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beetlemancy · 4 years

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I am so brunt out on CR and it is isn't the cast or the actual content. I adore the cast, and I love the stories they try and tell. But I am so tried of the BS and Drama, (the let's hate on Everything They Do because it makes us feel In Control And Important squad) Any advice?

That sucks, anon. I don’t really have the personality to where any online drama would affect my enjoyment of a show I watch, especially not one as riveting and creatively inspiring as Critical Role, and I thank my lucky dunamantic stars for that gift. However, I really feel badly for anyone who does, and I DO have things I do naturally that I think might help people out!

First of all, compartmentalization is key. Repeat to yourself, either vocally or in writing or just in repetitive thought, that CR IS NOT ITS FANBASE.

Second, try to remember that comparatively we are doing pretty okay as a fanbase. It can seem like its worse because we were smaller and people were a bit more tight-knit and CR itself is such a force of positivity that the contrast can be unbearably stark. But think back on previous fandoms you’ve been apart of - things like Doctor Who or Star Trek or SPN or OUAT - something big and genre-y. Do you remember those ship wars? Do you remember those fights and epic fandom splits and decades-old beef between factions? It comes with the territory of getting bigger.

On that note, this is how you ride it out - Find your people. Find the discords you vibe with or the blogs that just keep it chill. If you have to unfollow me and other blogs that do get into the shit, that’s okay! You can still find my content I do put out in the tags, and if you’re ever hankering for some drama later, I’ve got tags for that. Curate your tumblr experience, get New Xkit and make a healthy blacklist. Block the assholes in the tags. If you know that fandom discourse makes you not want to watch the show, don’t engage with it. If you join a discord and they have a vent channel, ask if you can be put on a role to not see it at all. Get the temptations away from you as best you can.Alternatively, try spite. Its what fuels me personally. But take with caution - you don’t want it to overwhelm your entire life. The key is to be kind, but take no shit.

I wish you luck, anon! This game, and this show, is something special and I hope you can find a way - either by using some of my methods or by finding something that works better for you - to continue being inspired by CR, and, maybe, friends who watch too and who won’t bring you down so much.

Also, don’t get on Twitter. Twitter is a place where faith in humanity goes to die.

Edit: also, this is all written with the assumption that you DO want to try and continue watching the show. If you in the end decide that you cannot separate fandom from media, and it is truly an issue for you, there is absolutely nothing wrong with not continuing to watch or engage at all. That is completely valid, for any reason. This is YOUR leisure time. YOU get to decide what to do with it.

#cr discourse #discourse advice #Anonymous

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lefaystrent · 5 years

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Could you write a short story where Virgil is out at a store, Deceit and Remus spot him. Virgil is like F social interaction. Then is only rude because he really didn't feel like being noticed by people who recognize him. (Patton could be another costumer, Roman a cashier who is working there when not acting, Logan getting supplies for a science class at school)

A Storm Rolled into Town

Fandom: Thomas Sanders,Sanders Sides

Pairings: none

Summary: It’s not likeVirgil meant to become famous anyway. It just sorta happened. And now he’sshopping in some small-town mom-and-pop store on a weekday morning. Despitewearing the hood of his jacket up and perhaps looking the more conspicuous forit, he can sense that someone somewhere in this store is watching him.

Word Count: 2150

________________________________________________________________

Virgil Storm was born with eyes inthe back of his head.

Not literally. It was mostly justanxiety and paranoia working in tandem to create a 360° zone of caffeinated caution.A necessary skill when you became part of the famous crowd. All it took was onecrazy person with a knife screaming about how you’re meant to be together, andthen you’re fucking dead.

Not that Virgil had been assaultedby anyone.

Yet.

He has had experiences witha couple of stalkers before that were quickly handled. It’s amazing how whenmore than a handful of people know your name and can buy your merch, theirsense of entitlement turns you into a thing to be owned.

It’s not like Virgil meant tobecome famous anyway. It just sorta happened.

And now he’s shopping in some small-townmom-and-pop store on a weekday morning. He had to make a pit-stop on his longdrive back home to Florida. Sure, he could have gotten home faster if he’dridden in a plane. He could also set this store on fire or go jump in a lakewhile strapped to an anvil. Doesn’t mean he’s going to.

The point is, Virgil is very awareof how famous he is, and despite wearing the hood of his jacket up and perhapslooking the more conspicuous for it, he can sense that someone somewhere inthis store is watching him.

Virgil glances down the aislebehind him, but there’s nothing. Again.

He lets out a huff of air andcontinues to peruse the candy section. He’s got a craving for something sour,but he’s not looking to get accosted here.

He swipes up a packet of gummy wormsand goes around to the chip rack next. Virgil subtly peeks around the store,noting the two guys manning the register counter. They look young, maybe aroundtwenty. They’re more talking and laughing rather than working. Other than them,there’s this one nerdy looking guy in a tie and glasses over by the stationary.The store seems empty otherwise.

Virgil picks up a large bag of sourcream ‘n onion and nearly screams when there’s a mustached face poking out inthe space left behind.

“Boo!” the man says.

“Fuck off!” Virgil growls andthrows the chip bag right at the face.

A series of snickers come back fromthe candy aisle that Virgil had just vacated. Pissed off and heart racing, hewhips his head around to see some guy in a bowler hat.

“I do believe the phrase ‘got you’fits this scene well,” Bowler Hat says.

“You didn’t ‘get’ anything,” Virgilhisses.

“Oh? So you didn’t just jump likeyou’d seen a ghost?”

“He definitely jumped, Dee! He evenpeed his pants!” Mustached Man cackled, coming out from behind the chip rack.

“I didn’t—” Virgil went to defendhimself but found it pointless. These guys just seemed like assholes. “Justleave me alone.”

“Oh poo, have some fun would you?”

“Now Remus, let’s not annoy him toomuch. Wouldn’t want him to storm out.”

Storm.

He made it very clear that he knewVirgil’s last name. If the pointed pun didn’t say as much, the smarmy grin onBowler Hat’s face surely did.

Virgil tried not to show how muchthat got to him.

“So what? You know who I am. Bigdeal. Buzz off and let me shop in peace.” If these two kept harassing him orworse, Virgil could always threaten to call the cops. Then again, cops took afew minutes to respond, and it only took less than a second to die.

New plan. Virgil could throw downthe chip rack and then run for his life. And if that didn’t work, he carriedpepper spray on his person for a reason.

“What brings someone such asyourself to our neck of the woods?” Bowler Hat questioned, not leaving Virgilalone in the slightest.

Mustached Man jumped up beside hisfriend, leaning an arm against his shoulder to loudly whisper, “I bet he needsto hide a dead body!”

Virgil’s eye twitched. “Yeah,because that’s the only reasonable explanation, right?”

Mustached Man nodded in agreement. “Nothingelse to do around here.”

“It does get rather dull here,”Bowler Hat mused. He brushed his gloved fingers over his chin.

Seriously, who the hell were theseguys? And were they intentionally being low-key threatening? Perhaps not, butthat’s how they were coming across anyway.

“That’s nice.” Virgil smiled in away that showed his utter contempt. Better than showing his fear. “Now if you’redone bothering me, I’ve got things to buy.”

He would have liked something morethan just the gummy worms, but he no longer felt hungry enough to risk hislife.

Virgil walked away, his stepspicking up speed as he heard Mustached Man barking at him.

He was never stopping anywhere everagain.

________________________________________________________________

Roman sat at the register counter,bored out of his mind.

“Patton, my loyal companion. Remindme why we’re here again?”

“Because we get paid to be here.”

“Ah.” Roman nodded, eyes narrowedin deep understanding.

Then he slumped over with a whimperingwhine. His head banged against the countertop.

“Awww, cheer up Ro-Ro! We’ve only gota few more hours left of our shift!”

“My shackled soul is unmoved byyour comfort. They are but mere words in the face of unforgiving oppression.”

“…so what you’re saying is that youneed a pun, right? Or maybe a hug. A combination of the two? A pug. Oh!Doggy!”

Roman snorted as Patton’s train ofthought derailed. He sat up to stare at his coworker and long-time friend.

He snapped his fingers. “Focus,Puffball.”

“Oh, right,” Patton said,refocusing. His expression became determined. “Go on and get all the angst out,kiddo. I’m all ears.”

“Retail suuuuuucks,” Roman concluded.“My creative spirit yearns for a place I can spread my wings and thrive! I ammeant for bigger and better stages. You see this face? You hear this voice? Alltoo good to be squandered away in Backwoodsville, Tennessee.”

“We don’t live in Tennessee.”

“My point is that I am a work ofart, and yet I am left collecting dust in grandma’s attic. It is a crime! Theuniverse should give me a break already.”

From the stationary aisle, afamiliar voice contributed to the conversation, “Perhaps if you put nearly asmuch effort into publicizing yourself to the entertainment community instead ofwhining, you wouldn’t be stuck where you are now.”

Roman slammed a hand on thecounter. “No one asked you, Microsoft Nerd!”

Logan smirked and resumed hisshopping. They knew each other of course. It was hard not to recognize everyonewhen you worked in one of the only stores in town. Plus all three of them hadgone to high school together.

Patton patted Roman’s shoulder insympathy. “I think what Logan’s trying to say is that you’ve got loads of potentialand I’m sure someone’s going to notice one day.”

“That is not what I said at all,but go off I guess,” Logan stated.

Roman flipped him off. Somehow, despitehis back turned to him, Logan must have sensed it and returned the gesture rightback to him.

Patton swatted at Roman’s hands. “Don’tbe ugly!”

“That’s impossible for someone likeme.” Roman grinned.

Patton sighed. “What am I going todo with you?”

“Love me, of course.”

Patton giggled.

“Hi,” a clipped voice cut in. Romantore his attention away from the agony of his life to regard the customer athis counter.

Roman hopped up from his seat andshifted flawlessly into his customer service spiel. “Hello! Ready to check out?”

“Yeah,” the man nodded, his hoodfalling back a bit at the movement.

Roman smiled. He recognized thejacket brand and was about to compliment the customer’s taste.

Their eyes met briefly and Roman’sheart exploded.

Virgil Storm.

Virgil freaking Storm was standingat his register counter.

No. No it couldn’t—

HOLY SHIT!

“That’s it,” Virgil Storm said,tossing a pack of sour gummy worms onto the counter. He briefly glanced overhis shoulder as if to look for something. He wasn’t really paying attention toRoman, so he didn’t catch being ogled.

Oh god, Virgil Storm was standingat his register. No matter how many times Roman looked, Virgil Stormstood there, and all Roman could do was ogle him.

Roman suddenly found the candypacket very interesting.

If he kept his head down, nothingbad would happen, right?

“Uh . . . that’s it,” Virgil saidagain, and Roman realized that he’d been standing there frozen.

Willing his limbs to unthaw, Romanmechanically reached for the candy and ran it over the scanner. A beep sounded,and with a stiff arm, he punched for the total.

“Your total is . . . a number.”

“What?”

Roman couldn’t even look up farenough to check the screen. How could he? When one of his idols stood beforehim. He owned all of this man’s albums, for God’s sake!

“Yes,” Roman said, as if thatexplained everything.

“Okay . . .” Virgil said. Heshuffled, presumably getting his wallet out or something. Internally, Roman wasscreaming to Patton for help, but sadly his friend had never mastered telepathy.In fact, he had no idea what Patton was doing right now. He wasn’t sayinganything, that was for sure. Did he even recognize the celebrity in their storeright now?

“Here,” Virgil offered a five-dollarbill.

Roman blinked at it. Wasn’t VirgilStorm rich? Why was he using cash when he could use a card?

Carefully, lest he mess up andforever embarrass himself, Roman reached up and took the bill from him. Theirfingers weren’t even close to touching, but Roman still felt like he’d steppedon a live-wire, a shock racing through his system.

Roman had dreamed many a time ofcasually running into his idols. He imagined nearly daily of becoming likethem, of leaving his mark, of impressing those that he looked up to. He wouldbe suave and graceful and witty, a dazzling star in the making who would sweepthem off their feet.

Instead Roman hunched in on himselfand began to cry.

“Oh shit, are you okay?” VirgilStorm asked him, and that somehow made everything worse.

Roman covered his face with hishands and sniffled. “I’m just feeling a little emotional right now.”

How mortifying.

A hand rubbed at his back. “Sorry,he’s having a quarter-life crisis,” he heard Patton explain.

Roman threw up his arms,tear-streaked face be damned. “PATTON! That’s not why I’m crying.”

“It’s okay Ro, it happens to a lotof people. It’s nothing to be ashamed about.”

“I knew retail work was hell, butgeez,” Virgil commented.

Patton nodded in sympathy. “Hereally wants to be on Broadway someday.”

“Patton,” Roman gasped in admonishment.“You can’t just be telling V— telling people about my silly dreams.”

“Why’s it silly?” Patton asked. “You’reso talented! You’ll make it, I know you will. You’ve just gotta keep trying.”

This could not be happening rightnow. Roman wanted to curl up in the employee’s bathroom and die.

“Broadway, huh?” Virgil asked.

Screw going to the bathroom. Roman coulddie on the spot.

“Ridiculous, huh?” Roman tried tolaugh at himself. If he laughed at himself first, it’d hurt less when everyoneelse did.

Virgil shrugged. “Not really.Someone’s got to do it, right?”

Oh.

No rejection.

Just a practical sense of hope.

Someone’s got to do it, and thatcould be him.

Roman blushed and gazed down at hisfeet. “Thank you . . .”

“No problem. Just uh, feel better Iguess.”

It was clear Virgil found this situationawkward but was trying to be considerate. For that, Roman was extremely grateful.

“Dee! Remus! What are you doing inhere? You know you’re banned!” Patton hollered, moving around the counter. Hehad his stern face on and a broom in hand. The two troublemakers would do wellto run while they still could.

They watched Patton chase Dee andRemus off.

“Does that happen a lot?” Virgilasked Roman.

“Only about every other day.”

Virgil didn’t say anything, soRoman went ahead and finished the transaction.

“Here’s your change,” Roman saidmeekly, handing the correct amount back to him.

“Thanks,” Virgil said, pocketingthe money. He picked up his gummy worms yet hesitated.

“Something else?” Roman wondered.

Virgil scratched the back of hishead. “To be honest, I wanted to get more stuff. But those guys were beingcreepy . . . But they’re gone now, so . . . would it be weird if I went to getmore stuff?”

Roman’s lips twitched up into asmile. “You didn’t judge me, so I’m not going to judge you.”

Virgil smirked. “Thanks.”

___________________________________________

General Tag List: @spectralheartt @a-pastel-pan @notalwaysthevillian @rose-gold-roman @ijustrealizedhowdumbmynamewas @katie-the-noble-fangirl @yourroyalydramaticanxiousness @aroundofapplesauce @merlybird500 @beach-fan @jemthebookworm @whats-going-on-kiddos @randomsandersides @gamerfreddie @unring-this-bell @analogicallythinking @lilygold23 @levy-the-b00kw0rm @tacohippy56900 @accio-hufflepuff-power1 @just-another-rainbowblog @georganabanana @grey-says-heck @crookedlyoptimisticdestiny @thesynysterunknown @idont-know-what-im-doing @idioticsky @fadingglowcloud @whizzie72 @theinvisiblespoon @greyyy523 @opaque-puppet @just-fic-me-up @wowimsogoddamnoriginal @sos-fandoms @loganeatsbooks @trust-is-overrated @theitalianalchemist @im-crunchie @mourning--star @4amanxiety @hogwarts-my-love @enby-phoenix @justanotherpurplebutterfly @internet-or-sleep @absolutesandersidestrash @seaspider10 @nonasficcollection @satanblessi @an-absolute-failure @analogical-mess @noisyeggpizzapatrol @hamilsandersfam @cefinitely-rolo @thgjclw @knight-shives @no-no-no-no-6 @savingshae @rabbitsartcorner @buddypallady @midnight-tragedyy @007ardra @fandomloverangel @dorkoverse @mirrorz-n-starz @idunnosong

#sanders sides #virgil #virgil sanders #roman #roman sanders #patton #patton sanders #logan #logan sanders #deceit #deceit sanders #remus #remus sanders #writing #fanfiction #a storm rolled into town #Anonymous

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polandspringz · 4 years

Text

Haru Gets Kidney Stones- A Balance: Unlimited Crack Fic

Did I write this? Yes. Do I regret it? Yes. Does it now exist? Yes.

At long last, I return to the Balance: Unlimited fandom with my promised (albeit cursed) fic, and just in time for the series to resume its broadcast! This fic was suggested to me by my beta-reader, Tom, after I made him read two fics in which I broke Haru's ribs, and he suggested a more "creative" way for me to injure my characters. As much as I found this idea completely cursed, the response on my last fic was that people were interested? So, here it is.

This is a relatively short fic, so I’ll post it below. Please consider leaving comments on AO3 using the link in the notes!!! It will help my writing gain more readers, and you can find my other, more serious Balance: Unlimited fics there too.

“You know, Katou-san-”

“Shut it, Kanbe-san. I don’t want to hear anything out of you.”

Haru folded his arms and settled back against the pillows of the hospital bed, eye twitching as he glared down the white sheets that seemed to stretch on endlessly. Daisuke’s eyes skimmed over the IV tube sticking out Haru’s arm as it made a jostling noise with his movement, the plastic bag it was attached to crinkling when it knocked against the stand after being tugged.

“Katou-san-”

“I said be quiet, Kanbe.”

“Katou-san, unless you want the nurses to get mad at you again, I suggest you take better care of your IV. Or do you want them to have to administer the needle in your arm when you accidentally pull it out again?”

Haru shivered, the memory of the nurses jabbing him with the syringe making him cringe and he sunk further into the pillows. He did loosen his arms a little bit, letting them both lay flat on either side of him. Daisuke, who was still looming over him, sighed and pulled up the cheap plastic chair to sit down.

“You could get better treatment at one of my private hospitals. You could be back at work within a few hours if you really wanted to.”

“As if I would want to be anywhere near an institution you own,” Haru scoffed, “You’ll just peek at all my medical files and use it to lecture me on more things while we’re on a case.”

Daisuke felt it best to withhold the fact that he had purchased the hospital this morning, upon learning from the HUESC that Haru had been admitted there. He had not had time to switch the staff though, as he knew Haru would get suspicious if a new doctor was assigned to him coincidentally around the time that Daisuke arrived.

And he may have had a look at Haru’s medical records. But that was simply because he wanted to know whether he should force Haru to be airlifted to be treated by his personal doctor. Instead, he was met with a diagnosis that was…

“Besides,” Haru grumbled, “They said it’s better to see what they can find after the IV… you know,” he gestured with his good arm, “flushes it out. I don’t need surgery yet.”

Daisuke took a deep breath and folded his hands in front of his face, tapping his two forefingers against the bridge of his nose.

“I still cannot believe you got kidney stones.”

“Hey! It happens to a lot of people my age! And what are you surprised about?” Haru sat up in the bed and violently pointed an accusatory finger at his partner, “Weren’t you about to go on a tangent about this being because I eat ramen all the time?”

“While I was going to comment on your diet,” Daisuke said calmly and slowly, “I don’t think you should consider this ‘normal’ for someone like you.”

“The doctor said-”

“I know what the doctor said,” Daisuke held up a hand, and pinched in between his eyes as he felt a small headache ebbing at Haru’s shouting, “But Katou-san, you are a detective, and are quite physically fit. Even though you’re not in First Division anymore, I’ve seen you chase criminals down-”

“Yeah, meanwhile you’re watching from a car or some fancy helicopter-”

“-And it doesn’t make sense. Why are you always overworking yourself trying to do things the hard way?”

“You know why!” Haru started to sit up even more, folded his knees under him as he shoved the finger even more in Daisuke’s face, “It’s cause you never communicate with me! You’re always off doing things on your own and never listen to me! I’m older so-”

“-and stubborn, and I could fairly say you just as equally don’t communicate with me.”

Daisuke grabbed ahold of Haru’s hand and pushed it down so he could stop leaning away from the finger trying to poke his eye out.

“Katou-san, I respect you, I promise. But you are never willing to listen to what data I’ve gathered, which could significantly speed up our time spent solving the case.”

“That’s because your data is always gathered using stupid, disingenious methods with your money-!” Haru suddenly grabbed his stomach, and stumbled backwards. Daisuke stood up, hands following him to help him ease back into the bed, being careful of the IV tube that was still being dragged about carelessly by the older man.

“Do you want me to call the nurse?”

“Ha, no. I would rather die than let you see me weak.”

Daisuke’s eyes narrowed, and he placed a hand on either side of the hospital bed railing, caging the other man in.

“Katou-san, are you not feeling weak now? You’re sweating.”

“I am not!”

“You’re obviously in pain, and I am concerned. I came here before work to check up on you. Why are you being so obstinate?”

Haru raised his hand and pushed Daisuke’s shoulder, shoving him off, “Ugh, I get it! I get, okay! Stop being so weird about everything.”

“I’m only being weird, as you put it, because I am worried. I do not want to have my partner out sick more days than necessary.”

“As if you need me,” Haru scoffed again, holding his stomach as another sharp pain went through the back of him.

“Stop that.”

“Huh? What are you talking about?”

“Stop saying things like that. Stop acting as if you’re disposable.”

“Well to you I’m sure I am-”

“Katou-san, for the last time, listen to me.”

Daisuke was standing beside Haru’s bed like he was when he first came in, but something about his tone drew Haru out of his ranting and made him pay attention. Daisuke’s face was schooled though, the only place giving away any emotion were his gloved hands, clenching at his sides as he stared down at his partner.

“It is not good for you to keep acting this way. I know we may have different approaches to cases, but I truly do respect your opinion. I value you as a partner, and would be devastated if something happened because of your own stupidity and obstinance. Please understand, I just want you to start listening to me. I’ve been watching you for months now, and I’ve seen the way you throw yourself into every case. The little things, like you living off of ramen and junk food, it’s led to this. I’m not saying that those specific things will lead to your downfall, but if you keep running yourself ragged with no sleep and stressing out about everything, it’s going to add up.”

Haru blinked at Daisuke, stunned, but when Haru didn’t respond, Daisuke turned and started to stroll out of the room.

“Wait! Kanbe-san!”

Daisuke paused at the foot of the bed, hands in his coat pockets as he regarded Haru with a cold look.

“What?”

“Listen, I’m-”

“I’m always listening to you, Katou-san.”

“No, I-” He threw his hands in the air and groaned, “You know what I mean! Look, I’m sorry. You’re right, I’m an idiot, I’ve been eating nothing but junk for the past year or so, and now I’m stuck here. You’re completely right.”

“Alright,” Daisuke said, shifting his foot as he turned to face Haru again. He was waiting for more, and Haru tried to not let out another groan as he realized this.

“I’m in a lot of pain right now, but I promise I’m not just saying this because I don’t want you to use your money to make my treatment a living hell or anything-”

“Katou-san, if you think I would do that, then you clearly didn’t hear what I-”

“I promise, I’ll listen to you when I’m back at work. I can’t promise I’ll do it all the time, but I’ll make an effort to hear you out more.”

Haru looked to the floor beyond the bedside railing, “It’ll probably take some practice, I’m still going to be pretty opposed to your underhanded tactics, but if we start small, then maybe I’ll be less likely to run off without you. I know I’ve done that a few times.”

Haru lifted his head, and gave Daisuke a small smile.

“Understood, I’ll start by telling you when to start eating healthier.”

“Good. Now, Kanbe-san, can you do one thing for me?”

“Hm?”

“Get out of here so I can call the nurse without seeing your smug face.”

“As you wish,” Daisuke said, and as he walked towards the door, one of the doctors nearly banged into him.

“Oh, Kanbe-san! Good thing I caught you. Katou-san’s test results just came back and-”

Daisuke leaned over the clipboard as the doctor began to flip through the papers, and Haru rose like the dead off of his pillows as he grabbed the tissue box on the nightstand and chucked it at Daisuke’s head.

“I knew you read my files! Asshole!”

Haru ended up getting his IV reinserted for the third time that day.

If you liked, please consider click the link to AO3 in the notes to leave a kudos and/or a comment!

#tom i know you said today $5 for the exploding confetti fic but im pretty sure you promised me $5 for this too #balance unlimited #fugou keiji balance: unlimited #fugou keiji balance unlimited #the millionaire detective balance: unlimited #the millionaire detective #katou haru #kambe daisuke #kanbe daisuke #my writing #fic #my fics

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almaasi · 4 years

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reaction post typed while watching SPN 15x04 “Atomic Monsters”

in which Jensen’s directing blows my mind a little bit?? holy shit. also Dean is only eating phallic things... and the writer in me is reeling. SOMEONE TELL ME THAT WAS JENSEN SINGING THAT SONG PLEASE

07:01pm

mostly what i wanna do right now is eat and watch queer eye buuuut i guess i should watch this first. hopefully it’s fun?? i do not want my heart ripped out or to be squicked right now

07:04

oh no........ becky

i like her as a character but ew ew ew all of her life choices and the way she treats sam

fingers crossed for character development

PLEASE DON’T DIE

i mean .....i don’t LIKE her but still

07:08

i can’t tell if the audio on my video file is fucked up or whether there’s supposed to be a voiceover here while dean’s shooting people while wearing a very nice beard

because it’s very much drowned out

07:10

oh hey benny

soooo this is some kind of au fic maybe

i uh.... fully expected dean to kiss benny right then

07:13

definitely a voiceover drowned out on purpose

vaguely heard “title” as the titlecard came up

okay, interesting

07:15

DEAN GOT VEGGIE BACON

yee

sam: YOU GOTTA STOP CALLING YOURSELF THE MEAT MAN, IT DOESN’T MEAN WHAT YOU THINK IT MEANS

OHHHHH SAMMY No i think he knows exactly what it means, and what it sounds like

dean: yeah it does

TOLD YOU. bi baby

07:18

real bacon

DEAN YOU VEGETABLE-HATING ASSHOLE

07:22

dean and his flask this season..... guess he’s gone back to quiet alcoholism

07:23

wow........ becky has not aged a DAY

07:27

becky: they just sit around and do laundry and talk

okay NOW i relate to becky

thank youuuu davy perez for letting her grow and recognize her awful awful awful mistakes

chuck: eeeeeeh, people like monsters

becky: meh

HELL YEAH

i mean i love monster stories but i love laundry more

07:29

there’s a tall cas doll in becky’s bookshelf, yay~

which.... honestly looks like a white tennis ball on a roll of paper with wings attached but still

07:33

cas is gone and dean is eating SO MUCH

> meat man bacon (textual penis euphemism)

> pretzels (twisted, salty rather than sweet, metaphor for Not Straight)

> alcohol (DESPAIR)

> hot dog (phallic)

i can’t put screenshots on my posts anymore bc tumblr sucks BUT

as dean’s sitting with the hot dog, in the shot that contains sam, there’s BISEXUAL BICYCLES

07:40

sam holds a hyponeedle behind his back

i’m wondering if they’d become a little out of character if chuck is writing them again

07:42

i’d say the orchid is significant

there’s a pink one in the house of the dad/mom/son, and the speech-making cheerleader mentioned ghost orchids

edit: nah

07:44

aww there’s a lil cas pop figure thingy!!! yay team free will!!!

07:45

chuck: fan..fic. it’s not really the same

becky: writing’s writing!!

YES BECKY

07:52

becky: no-one even mentions cas

YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAS BECKY

07:54

flashback to the son biting the girl’s neck, the music kind of halfway there

the directing of this is fascinating

like a music video, it’s ethereal

and... you know when you hear JUST enough of a good chord from a song but you don’t hear the rest and it’s like MMM but just an inch away from satisfying but not in a bad way?? like breathing in a meal you’re not going to eat. like walking past a bakery and not going inside. you want it but you can’t have it, IT TEASES

AND I JUST LOOKED UP THE DIRECTOR AND IT’S JENSEN

WOW. OKAY DUDE 3000 KUDOS TO YOU

this isn’t a tv show, it’s art. like. he just made art. wow

wowow

there are SO MANY LAYERS HERe, particularly in the audio

the kid talking, chuck’s voiceover, the music in the truck, the heartbeat and roaring sound effects, the kid and the girl breathing and grunting in the flashback

it’s like... sensory overload but at the same time it’s delicious

.....you know what?? this scene is beyond incredible, because not only is is beautiful for what it is, but also for what it represents

because i was just thinking that this feeling, this blast and blur of ALL THE THINGS ALL AT ONCE AT THE APEX OF EMOTION feels exactly like the part where i’m writing a story and everything’s happening so fast and i gotta type AS THINGS ARE HAPPENING and words just flood from my fingertips and my heart is pounding and the world no longer exists, i’m kind of out of my body but no longer have a body

and

that’s literally what’s happening. all of this. is chuck writing in that exact moment, unresponsive to becky, WRITING THINGS INTO EXISTENCE

i told my family a while ago, there are some stories only a Writer can write. when they write about being a Writer and you can tell it’s so personal and would be related to the most by other writers. and davy perez has done exactly this here, with becky being us, the fandom, but then there’s THIS

that flood of Everything All At Once is illustrated PERFECTLY, not just in the text, but the way jensen obviously understood the feeling and illustrated it in such a way that i didn’t even remember the layer of this story where chuck’s writing until i was all “hey this feels like that writer thing” and IT’S EXACTLY THAT

this is mind-blowing a little bit??? i really really love this

goddamn

08:09

ooooooh a vampire trying to save the winchesters from humans

08:11

.....who’s singing this song? kind of?? sounds like jensen???

it’s probably not jensen but 100% chance he picked the song

that long note as the girl’s taken out on the stretcher. oh man it REALLY sounds like jensen

....i listened again and....... the word “SOUnds”

no, yeah, that’s jensen. the way he kind of hurls a big note up through his chest yet it comes out soft with just that teeeeny touch of huskiness?? that’s gotta be jensen

if it’s not jensen i’ll be v surprised. might be a friend of his maybe. but there’s a personal connection there definitely

edit: NO IT HAS TO BE JENSEN. IT IS RIGHT??? SOMEONE TELL ME IT IS

*misha at jibcon voice* we get a tingly feeling when we hear it so we know it’s you

08:17

becky: it’s AWFUL. HOPELESS. you can’t do this to the fans

i can’t tell if that textual awareness combined with my dread about the upcoming ending of the show makes me glad the writers understand, or worried that they understand but are gonna give us a dark, hopeless ending anyway

08:20

did the voiceover just say “bexy becky”

08:23

dean: now that chuck’s gone... we are..... finally free

oh no baby

oh no

08:26

laughing bc the ending was just “next to him sit dean and sam bobbleheads”

the end

guess it’s kind of a cause-and-effect thing. chuck types, they wobble

OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH MAN

at least becky’s not dead right?? at least according to chuck talking about her family

CHUCK IS THE ABSOLUTE WORST.

i’m so glad becky is a stable, healthily creative human who obeys consent now and is repulsed by what she did to sam

i probably don’t need to say it again but the directing in this was phenomenal, if highly unusual compared to other episodes. there was a lot of... force in it? actually now i think it about it, it had jensen’s energy. smooth and flowing with smacks of Hell Yeah and some twangs of discomfort thrown in.

also dean’s food was phallic, fight me

i think the bicycles thing probably meant less than the food did, jensen’s way more straightforward with his dick jokes. like, if he’s gonna be gay, he goes for it, doesn’t hide it in the background. someone else put those bicycles there, and he was probably like “ok sure”.

(also? dean’s “nice beaver” quip, followed by the fact that THE PERSON INSIDE THE BEAVER FURSUIT IS A GUY)

i bet i’m gonna get on tumblr after this and someone’s gonna be like “hey here’s the song that was in this episode and yeah it’s off jensen’s new album”

i’m interested to see where this story goes next. but also WOW, i’m not into the fact chuck is manipulating the storyline again and the winchesters aren’t aware of it. curious flip regarding consent issues, with chuck and becky. now chuck’s the violator and becky’s the voice of reason

anyway this was 10/10, and i’m happy to report that after i got past the scene with the red lights in the bunker, and made it to the brothers eating bacon, i’d completely forgotten i wanted to be watching something else and began to fully enjoy this episode~ yay

#spn spoilers #15x04 #atomic monsters #season 15 #Elmie watches things #spn #post of postiness #Jensen singing #???#director!Jensen

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thatshortdudety · 5 years

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Types of Ravenclaws - Nicholas Black

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=usDdoAXxk_c

The Stereotype

Raven Qualifications: love knowledge, kind of witty

- Whenever they are around, people run

- They are insufferable

- They're just annoying in general and constantly act like they're better than you

- At least one or two of them exist

- You may not find them very often but when you do... you know

- They're the type of person that will debate you until one of you dies, so just give up and let them think that they are right, because it's just not worth it. Just fuckin leave

- The assholes in social media comments that start their comments with 'uM aCtuALLy' and like 'sOurCeS'

- Elitism is so thick that they might as well be in Slytherin

- They love knowledge so they are actually pretty smart

- They have some wit, but no wisdom or creativity

- They get really good grades, so teachers have a love-hate relationship with them as they're a know-it-all but make the class look better

- Usually in the library studying

- Makes you feel stupid in .3 seconds

- They probably drink tea and write Shakespearean lit in their own time [like fucking nerds]

- the LEAST RAVENCLAW Ravenclaw in the tower

The Weird One

Raven Qualifications: Intelligent, wise, creative, original, individual, acceptance

- Basically Luna Lovegood

- They're weird and you know it

- Tend to be obsessive over a few particular topics, eg. if they love crocodiles and you ask them a questions about crocodiles they will whip out an encyclopaedia from their pocket [and you wonder how it fit in there in the first place then you remember you're a wizard]

- They have porcupine teeth under their bed and you don't know why. Nobody knows why, all we know is that we live in fear

- They're the person you call when you know you are being haunted. They know about that spiritual shit. They have the sage ready, they know how to relieve you of your demons [basically if you have a ghostie problem, they gotchu bitch]

- They talk very rarely, but when they do, they either sound like a wise monk or a crackhead... or both [and that, my friends, is entertaining]

- They are divination experts [fuck you, Hermione, they know your future, whatchu gonna do about it]

- They have an ongoing "experiment" since like the first day they were at Hogwarts, and everybody knows there is an experiment, but nobody knows what it is [so the Ravenclaw power lives in fear. The Gryffindor tower should also live in fear, but those fucks aren't scared of anything so like honestly fuck 'em]

- They're like Socrates, sometimes, they're basically like "I know that I know nothing," all humbly-wise like that [and you're like "huh that's why you're a ravenclaw hm ok"]

- Despite having no social skills and scaring everyone shitless all the time, these Ravenclaws are the most mindful and spiritual, most open Ravenclaws

- They accept any theory or idea because "fuck it, we know nothing and anything could be real"

- Scary but pretty cool

The Mum

Raven Qualifications: Intelligence, WIT, wisdom, creativity, originality, SHARPNESS, ACCEPTANCE

- Has a first aid kit on hand and knows how to use it. Basically a doctor. Didn't go to med school, but they know their shit.

- Has a remedy for every illness. Pretty sure they're not allowed to have a potions cabinet in their dormitory, but Flitwick allows it, and so they've just got med potions in the dormitory [even though we have... a-uei- even though we have a hospital wing]

- The best advice giver in both complicated and stupid situations. They will give you some fucking common sense, they will spell it out for you

- NUMBER ONE Ravenclaw

- eg. If you have a boyfriend who has cheated on you multiple times and you ask them for advice they will look you straight in the eye and say "BITCH you deserve better, break up with that hoe" and you should probably listen to them because most everything they say is correct

- They will not tolerate stupidity [she will not tolerate your stupidity, richard, get out of the damn tree]

- They read the entire unabridged Lord of the Rings to their children, A.K.A. first year Ravenclaws and all Hufflepuffs

- The voice of reason [please just listen to her it.. it's all i ask.. please she's right, don't... don't question it]

- Knows all the answers to your homework assignment and knows how to effectively teach it to you [but fuck off dan she will not do your homework for you.. not again]

- If you get into some stupid shit, they'll say 'I told you so' and continue to fix your shit like a GODDESS [honestly she needs more love]

- Breaks up fights and sends people to their rooms. They're not having your bullshit.

- Such a smart person! eg. amazing war strategist [she-she knows. She knows all manipulation tactics, sh-she knows how to get her shit done, she is the strategist of the century, i swear]

The Artist

Raven qualifications: Intelligence, WIT, wisdom, CREATIVITY, originality, INDIVIDUALITY, sharpness, acceptance

- They're probably on Tumblr. That's just how it is.

- They don't give two shits about grades. The school system is rIgGeD............. okAy maybe they do care a little bit, but they'd DIE before they'd admit it

- They're an ex Emo and an activist

- They like politics

- They are the second debater in the house. For the love of god, don't put them in the same room as the Stereotype. Do you wanna fucking die? [i mean i do too, carol, but not now. It is unstoppable force vs immovable object, do you want to explode? didn't think so]

- They're either a music, theatre or art nerd... or possible poetry if you're.. that bitch. [but um if you don't know the difference between a play and a musical, we're judging you- WE'RE JUDGING YOU SEVERELY it's not that difficult i know what a fucking touch-down is]

- They're probably a communist, socialist, anarchist because fUCK CAPITALISM HELL

- Music and art is subJECTIVE YOU CANNOT TEACH IT, KAREN [and that's when the Stereotype walks in and starts a debate on that]

- They're pretty depressed

- They like musicals

- They have an aesthetic Instagram but all the captions are like 'aha lmao i wanna fucking die' and 'i crave death'

- Not gonna lie they cry after a debate even though they started it

- They have high standards that they don't meet themselves

The Bookworm

Raven Qualifications: INTELLIGENCE, wit, wisdom, CREATIVITY, originality, individuality, ACCEPTANCE

- They're kind of like a stereotype too, but they're the good stereotype

- They're like, the chill

- They're only passionate about like books and shit, so if you wanna have a 24 hour conversation with them, just bring up their favourite book series and they won't let you go

- They have a very popular fanfiction account. They are a veteran stan that wrote a 300k word fanfiction that is a STAPLE in the community. They are the fandom's mum

- They have like 30 books to read but for some reason they just read Junie B. Jones again. For the 5th time.

- They're very kind, usually patient, the most empathetic [other than maybe the Mum in the house]

- They do tend to be alone most of the time

- They have an internal debate on whether or not they should focus on their grades or read the 30 books they have to read [they.. somehow... do it both. um... i hate you]

- They're usually friends with the Mum Ravenclaw, they're like the parents of the house. Without them somebody might mysteriously disappear, or like, die [the weird one hasn't come back for three weeks send help]

The Junkie

Raven Characteristics: Wit, creativity, ORIGINALITY, individuality, acceptance

- [i know what you're thinking: 'come on nick, ravenclaws are smart, they wouldn't do drugs!'..... that's where you're wrong, bitch. they would do drugs.. but only the smart drugs. only the safe drugs]

- They only do marijuana. They don't even do any other drugs, and when they DO marijuana, they eat it in a pot brownie so that they don't get cancer from smoking it [like, they're pussies basically, i'm sorrty but]

- Okay, I take it back, they might do LSD once because the Weird One told them that they'd "see god" on LSD, but they'll never do it again cos it was a bad trip and probably killed some of their braincells, so they're a little overce

- They're anti-capitalist, but they never specify what their political and economic beliefs are, so they just kinda say 'fuck capitalism' then they go to bed high as Snoop Dog

- Usually friends with the Weird One [...i'm scared all the time]

- They're high all the time, but they never get caught because they're a Ravenclaw, and Ravenclaws don't get caught [take notes, Slytherin]

- They once woke up with a surrealist painting in one hand and the communist manifesto in the other... they don't know what happened the night before, but they got rid of the evidence real fuckin quick because you can't be too safe

- They claim to be Buddhist and trying to find the real meaning of life, but like they don't practice Buddhism really well.. they-aie- I think they're just doing it for the aesthetic, they know a lot about Buddhism they just don't practice it very well

- They're trying to open their third eye. [none of us want them to. their two eyes are problematic enough, we don't need them to have a third

#ravenclaw #hogwarts #nicholas black #The Stereotype #The Weird One #The Mum #The Mom #The Artist #The Bookworm #The Junkie #howarts houses #the houses #which one are you?#youtube

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kalinara · 5 years

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Rip Week #1 The Many Faces of Rip

It’s been a long time since I’ve posted anything positive about Legends of Tomorrow. However, it’s Rip Hunter Appreciation Week, which is a time meant for positivity! At one point this show, and this character, had me blogging meta on a daily basis for almost two and a half years and introduced me to some great people! And I will always be grateful for that.

So the topic for Day 1 of Rip Hunter Appreciation Week: The Many Faces of Rip Hunter.

One thing that still fascinates me about Rip as a character is that, even though he’d only been a central character on the show for 1.5 seasons, we’ve gotten to see so many different sides of the character. He’s been deconstructed so thoroughly and so fascinatingly, allowing us to really appreciate what makes the character tick.

Let’s start with Rip himself, the baseline number. The guy who kidnapped a bunch of assholes, brought them to the roof of a tall building (and I still wonder how the stringy little bastard actually managed that) and gave them a sales pitch of a lifetime.

From the opening scene of the pilot, to Rip’s almost goodbye into the sun in Legendary, season one was first and foremost the story of a man broken by grief and betrayal, who slowly, and reluctantly found a reason to go on, and people to share it with. Rip spent season one a raw, open wound, ugly in his pain and rage. He tried very hard not to stay focused on his goal. He tried very hard not to care about his team.

He failed pretty much on day one, when he saved Martin Stein’s marriage. He failed again not too long after that when he abandoned the closest thing he had to a working plan to get Carter’s body back for Kendra. And he kept failing over and over again.

And they saved him. They challenged him. They forced him to look outside of his single-focused obsession and look at the people that they could save around them. They forced him to take a long hard look at what he was doing when he started to go too far. And he very clearly and very obviously loved them for it.

I still can’t believe that fandom still tries to claim that Rip didn’t care about his team, when we saw how broken he was after each major loss: Carter, Leonard, even Jax (almost). That’s not a man who is unfeeling.

We saw Rip as a child: a tiny savage creature who, even when warm and fed, was still ready to stab the nearest adult who threatened him. It gave a new, fascinating insight to the tension Rip had with both Leonard Snart and Mick Rory. As well as possibly another reason that he’d bonded with Sara so strongly. Rip is someone who understands what it means to become a monster in order to survive, and what it means to have to live with that afterward. It likely does make it difficult when face to face with people who represented the worst of that time (and that’s not even touching on how child Rip probably met a number of people who looked and acted similar to our lovable Rogues, and it likely would not have ended well.)

We’ve never really seen the man Rip was before he was broken. Except perhaps for a giddy romantic moment with Miranda and that horrible humiliation when they were caught. We’ve heard a bit more: from that pirate in Marooned, from Magister Druce and Jonah Hex. We can draw inferences: a man who was capable and skilled (though perhaps not as skilled as his wife :-)), who never the less was a rulebreaker at heart. Someone who fell in love with the idea of heroism to the point where he almost left the Time Masters entirely. Someone who, while loyal, wasn’t quite willing to trust his masters with the tool to unmake reality. But at the same time, someone whose fundamental trust in INDIVIDUALS like Mary Xavier and Magister Druce, survived even when his world fell apart.

At the end of season 1, we got a Rip Hunter who was ready to finally move past his grief, and it will forever be something of a disappointment to me that the series decided to give us a time jump instead of actually showing us Rip learning to be part of a real team.

But season 2 did give us a truly fascinating deconstruction of Rip Hunter as an individual.

One very common plot in almost every superhero’s story is the depowerment story arc. Who is our hero when he doesn’t have what makes him a hero? It’s most common for men like Superman of course, but we even get it for folks like Batman or Green Arrow. What are these men without their money, or their physicality?

What is Rip Hunter without his knowledge, his memories, or his time machine?

Well, we saw him. And he was adorable! Phil Gasmer was a hilarious story beat, but unlike maybe certain other storyline elements that we see in later seasons, there was also a point to Phil Gasmer. Phil Gasmer showed us the kind of man that Rip Hunter is deep down.

He’s creative. He’s clever. He’s determined. He’s a little whiny. And definitely high. Rip is a man who would benefit from a little unofficial pharmaceutical help. He’s a man who, when the world suddenly goes sideways, will first attempt to protect his friend. He’s a man who, when face to face with a stranger with scary abilities, will try to hit him with a script. He’s a man who loves his team so much that even when he has no conscious recollection of them, he made them the basis of his movie. And he’s a man who walked out to face the Legion to save a bunch of strangers who kidnapped him, because it was the right thing to do.

I’d like to think in another universe, Phil didn’t get kidnapped by Eobard Thawne there, but instead made it back on the ship, where the crew actually got the chance to get to know Rip without all the baggage. I think they’d have gotten along.

And then there’s evil Rip.

“Teammate goes evil” storylines are a dime a dozen, in superhero lore, but there’s a reason for that. When done well, they can be amazing. And ultimately, I think the evil Rip storyline was done very well.

One of the things that I always liked about the evil Rip storyline is how it utterly destroyed that pervasive (and wrong!) fan idea that Rip never cared about his team. Because they showed us a Rip who didn’t care about his team, and he was a fucking scary son of a bitch.

He also showed us how Rip’s best worst enemy was always going to be himself. Because holy shit, Rip is competent when he’s not tripping himself up. Turncoat was terrifying in all the best ways, and even that opening of Land of the Lost was amazing. It’s still very amusing to me that the most effective member of the Legion of Doom was the one Eobard brainwashed into it.

One thing I always found fascinating about evil Rip is that, for all that he lacks Rip’s compassion, empathy and love, he didn’t go the usual scenery chewing sadist route. He’s a monster, of course. He was perfectly happy to murder Sara, to carve the spear piece out of McNider, and brainwash the entire knights of Camelot. But it was always a measured sort of evil.

Evil Rip had a goal, and evil Rip pursued his goal. And if he could get what he wanted in a relatively non-disruptive and non-violent way, he was willing to try it. He had no interest in terrorizing the Waverider crew once he had the spear piece from them, even when he saw that Sara had survived her murder. He tried to trick McNider, only resorting to violence when McNider saw through it. When he had control of the knights, he just had them stand there, much to Darhk’s boredom, rather than playacting some farce for his amusement as some of the others might have done.

Evil Rip was our chance to appreciate how truly formidable Rip could actually be, and also appreciate those qualities that kept him from turning into that monster again.

My biggest disappointment in this story arc was how little we got to see Rip interact with the other members of the Legion. His interactions with Eobard and Darhk, in what little we had, were very entertaining. But we never saw him interact with Malcolm at all (I admit to being intrigued by this, because I thought Malcolm had actually had the most interesting dynamic with Phil in Legion of Doom), and we never saw Eobard react to his capture. Missed opportunities or food for fanfic?

I don’t know if Doomworld Rip really counts, but I have to admit that, compared to some of Rip’s other coping mechanisms, baking cakes to deal with a year of solitary confinement (Gideon sort of counts, but she’s just a voice at this point), is pretty good for him. I hope he actually got a chance to eat them.

The idea behind Rip at the Time Bureau really was a good one. The idea that Rip would have created this organization, but specifically designed it to be the antithesis of the Time Masters: open, transparent, and accountable, is a good one. But unfortunately, season 3 never really explored that to the extent I would have liked.

It’s hard to imagine the Rip who recruited Sara before she could die with her sister to Damien Darhk would be okay with leaving Zari in a prison without a very good reason. But we never got that reason. Of course, maybe he wasn’t. He wasn’t in that episode. We know from Ava that he didn’t want her chasing the Legends, and wanted them given “lenience”. But if he’s not on board with that, how much of the Time Bureau is actually under his control?

Considering that Return of the Mack told us that Rip allowing Darhk to be resurrected in order to confront him with agents was a “sanctioned” plan (that Rip still ends up in prison for, because Rip is just that good with people), that implies a certain level of oversight. His and Bennett’s dynamic seemed just shy of outright antagonistic. And certainly Rip seemed a lot more blase about seeing Bennett meet a grisly end than seems warranted. This is a man who dismantled the team after Leonard Snart died.

I mean, trying to work out coherent characterization for ANYONE in season 3 is a bit of a problem, but I feel like if the Time Bureau had gotten the same level of focus that it gets much later, perhaps some of these things could actually work. If, for example, there are multiple factions within the Bureau with their own ideas on what the Bureau is supposed to do, (perhaps tied with the oversight that Rip specifically put in place, because there’s nothing more Rip Hunter than getting hoisted up by his own petard), then a lot of the more confused behavior by the organization could make more sense.

In the end though, Rip is still a secretive, scheming bastard who cares very deeply for his team, and I wouldn't give up that wonderful, almost baggage free friendship with Wally for anything. So it does have its good points.

Ultimately, I think that all of these facets make Rip one of the most well-developed and defined characters in the CW-verse, even when compared with others who have had years and years of screentime. It’s fun to poke around and explore all of these layers and see how they fit. And it definitely is food for some great fanfic. I’m told some other Rip fans will be writing some great fic for #RipWeek. You should go check them out!

#rip hunter #legends of tomorrow #RipWeek #Rip Hunter Appreciation Week

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theaudity · 4 years

Text

And tonight, it ends...

So, I guess here I am, ready to make a relatively long post regarding my thoughts and feelings on The Magicians going off the air, with just a few final hours to go.

I was a bit late joining the party on this series. and didn’t actually jump in until the first couple of seasons were on Netflix. However, that meant that I did jump in right when I needed this show. I was 23, living on my own for the first time, and failing my way through grad school in a city that I hated, with no friends, no intentions of making good choices, and a case of depression and anxiety that was getting worse by the day. Three guesses which character I latched onto like an aggressive tick?

Quentin Coldwater was, to me, the most honest depiction of living with depression I had ever seen on screen. There was never a bullshit “love makes it all better’ narrative, he was kind of a prickly asshole, and his darkness never quite went away, even when things were just fine. It was real, it was raw, and it gave me hope. I was still in denial about how bad my shit was, and wasn’t willing to consider that I needed actual treatment at the time, so watching this character deal with the same shit I was, and never really being better, but being able to get by, and be supported? That shit mattered. Yes, it’s problematic as fuck, but again, at the time I didn’t think “better” was something that could exist for me, so this was a happy medium that I could work with. And the emotion hook of that character ended up dragging me all the way into a mad run of incredible characters, surreal situations, and let me play in a world where magic was real and every episode made me question whether or not it was worth it.

I’m not going to say that this show saved me from my poor decision making, or made everything so much easier, it absolutely didn’t. But god damn, was it an outlet. It was an aesthetic masterpiece, a televised crack-fic that took itself dead seriously, a whirlwind of drama that constantly teetered on the edge between black comedy and Shakespearean tragedy, and I couldn’t get enough.

Anyways, we all know what happened with season 4, we all lived it. So, I’m not going to dwell too much on it here, other than to repeat that it was bullshit. The showrunners have always been bleak, they’ve always played fast and lose with the line of how much these characters would suffer, but in the end, they let us believe that the ending would be alright, and they lied.

Actually, that’s a lie, I am going to dwell for a bit longer. The showrunners screwed themselves from a writing standpoint. The season 4 finale wasn’t a ‘brave choice’ to ‘subvert expectations about who the main characters really are, and show that no one is safe’. It was the equivalent of them spitting in the face of the audience and saying ‘it doesn’t matter that everything sucks, because you’ll die soon and not have to worry about that’, and fuck me but even though the show has always reveled in the pain of the cast, it’s NEVER gone that far. So what happens next? Well, they made this ‘bold decision’ to kill the main character to tell the audience that he wasn’t the main character the entire time. Unfortunately, what they really did was martyr him, so from here everything has to either a) be the rest of the cast reacting to this huge loss, essentially making him the main character still (by reason of being the catalyst), or b) have everyone move on and go in an entirely new direction, which would feel hollow and pointless. I can’t speak for everyone else’s thoughts, but I feel like they landed somewhere predictably in the middle.

I wasn’t planning on watching season 5. At least, not for a while. Then I heard that it would be the last one, that The Magicians had been cancelled, and I figured “what the hell. It’s one season, I’ll deal”. And my guys, I just hate to see the show go out this way. For years, this show meant so much to me. Seeing these characters struggle and inevitably grow from those struggles actually mattered. Quentin went from a socially maladjusted nerd to a guy who wasn’t afraid to put his heart on the line for people when it really mattered, Eliot went from an abused kid hiding his identity to a man who was finally brave enough to accept himself, Alice went from being a mousy outsider to being an extremely misguided badass trying to carve out whatever sanity she could in the world, Margo from being a vapid socialite to being a mother-fucking king, and so on, and so on. But now? Everything that’s happened in season 5 just doesn’t feel like it’s mattered. I’ve tried to be invested, I’ve tried to care, but, I can’t.

The worst part is, that these characters, and this world, meant so much to all of us, and it’s going to go out with a whimper and a million unanswered questions. There were too many storylines for a final season happening at once, and (at least to me), none of them felt connected. The only storyline with any thematic relevance so far has been the Dark King, but the writing there has really suffered with all the focus spent on the couple, and the moon heist, and the harmonic convergence, and all these things that just don’t matter at the end of the day. I don’t care about the couple, and I’m still wondering why the writers didn’t just bring the Mcallisters back if they wanted an Earth-bound villain. I’m still wondering why “we want a world so we can have a child” is supposed to be a good enough motive to hack people’s fucking fingers off, instead of having a conversation like normal humans, or why the moon hasn’t acted up before now, or a few dozen other things. And with one episode left, they’re still bringing new ideas into the story, but none of the previous plot threads have been resolved. I won’t be watching the finale until tomorrow morning, and I want this show to have a satisfying conclusion, but my hopes aren’t high. They aren’t, and The Magicians deserves better.

To the cast and crew, the set designers, the costumers, the production team, lighting and tech, music, all the incredible creatives who made these years possible; Thank you. This show meant a lot to me, and it meant a lot to a lot of people. I know this fandom won’t die, but it hurts to see you go. I only wish I cared enough for it to hurt more.

#the magicians #magicians series finale #magicians season 5 #goodbye magicians #thoughts and feelings

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charmingpplincardigans · 5 years

Note

For the quick drabble prompts: tua + defenestration

Look at me, changing it up! This one is about Diego! Someone stop me from writing a whole fifteen thousand words about Diego and Eudora. I don’t have time for it, but I do have the same deep need to give Eudora good things as I do to give good things to Klaus and Dave. She deserves them!!

…

Diego thought he might be dead.

One minute he had been throwing himself at a guy twice his size in a fourth floor apartment and the next minute he had been thrown. He didn’t remember the fall. His mind had, blessedly, chosen the moment he crossed the threshold of the window to black out. His body remembered though, and every muscle and bone screamed at him in protest as he sat up and checked his head for blood.

There were lights flashing. He couldn’t tell if they were inside or outside of his head.

“Hey! Hey, you!” It was a familiar voice.

Diego groaned and pulled himself to his knees. Outside of his head then.

“No, stay down.”

A hand hit his shoulder and he looked up to see Eudor—no, she hated when he called her that on duty—Detective Patch standing over him. Her brow was furrowed and her lips were set in a thin line.

“You’re a lucky son of a bitch,” she said.

“It’s good to see you too, detective.” He tried to stand up and she pushed harder on his shoulder to keep him down. “Are you gonna cuff me, or do you just like seeing me down here?”

Her lip quirked, “Maybe I do, a little, but no. It needs to look like I’m explaining to you in excruciating detail how stupid you are and how stupidly lucky you are that the woman who called 911 identified you as the person who attacked her attacker instead of just some random asshole with knives who broke into her apartment for no reason.”

“You know I never do anything without a reason, Detective.”

“Please don’t make me actually give you the list of reasons you’re stupid, Diego,” she said. “It really is very long, and you already know most of it.”

“Most?” he asked, giving her what he hoped was more of a smile than a grimace. His face hurt as much as the rest of him and he wasn’t sure he had complete control over it.

“I’ve been keeping some for a rainy day,” she said. “God, Diego, we have got to stop meeting like this.”

“You won’t meet me any other way, and I miss your charming personality.”

“No, I won’t” she said. “And we both know it’s not my charm you miss.”

“It’s a little of what I miss,” he said rolling his shoulders and stretching so he could brush her hip with his hand.

She released his shoulder and smacked him in the back of the head. “Do you need help up?”

“As you can tell,” he said, planting his foot on the cement in front of him and grunting against the pain. He noticed suddenly that he and the cement were damp. Had it been raining when he went inside? Or had he been out longer than he thought? “I’m perfectly capable of standing on my own.”

He tried to push himself up, faltered and fell hard on his knee, let out a colorful string of curses, and then tried again. This time he managed to get himself mostly to his feet and he landed heavy against Eudora’s side as he toppled. She grunted under his weight and pushed him off her.

When he turned to look at her the whole scene slid into focus finally. There were three patrol cars at the end of the alley, lights going. Four uniforms were milling around and studying what he assumed was his path down to the ground which included a broken fire escape railing and an awning with a hole in it.

Eudora crossed her arms and tilted her head. She was waiting to see what he would do next

She was pretty in any light, but the combination of the orange-sulfur lights of the alley and the blue-white-red flashing off the cars managed to make her look like she was made of stained glass: glowing from within, colorful, fragile, shot through with lead bars in spite of the rest. She was just a woman—no special powers, no maniacal father who made her train from the time she could walk, no inbred sense of superiority. She was fragile, and for that reason alone she could be the bravest person he knew. There were other reasons of course, and her fragility was not what made him love her. It was the way she worked against it at every turn, how she chose over and over to be better than those around her.

“Diego?” she asked, reaching for his face. Concern lurked at the edge of her voice. “Do you have a concussion?”

He couldn’t believe she had ever chosen to accept him into her life, no matter how briefly, that she still chose every day not to write him off entirely as the asshole he was. It almost made him want to be a better man.

Then another realization hit him and, against his better judgment, Diego started to laugh, which was unfortunate because how much it fucking hurt.

“What the fuck is wrong with you?” she hissed. She thought a moment, then pulled her hand back and said, “No, I don’t want to know.”

“It’s, it’s de-,” he started, knowing he wouldn’t be able to finish. “De-defen-de.” He laughed harder, holding his hands against his ribs to try and keep them from moving too much.

“Defense?” she said. “That’s what the woman told us.”

“No, no. I can’t say it. The window.” He pointed up.

Diego had never been able to say the word defenestration. Usually his stutter only manifested under pressure, and as such was a sensitive subject, but for this particular word there was a more involved and touch toughened history. They had all learned at eleven that for some reason, that word just would not work in his mouth no matter how much he visualized or practiced. He didn’t figure he’d ever need it, not really. Not after Klaus and Ben had spent a full month ruthlessly mocking him over it by dropping it into conversations he was in. They had even created a List Of Ways To Kill Diego, which was just fourteen different forms of defenestration. It had been creative, but Mom found it and put an end to the whole thing.

When he could catch his breath he said, “I’m glad I didn’t die.”

He was thinking he was glad he didn’t die that way especially because, even though it had been more than a decade since all of that and they’d lost Ben in the meantime, he was sure Klaus would remember and make sure that his cause of death was on his grave marker. Or rather, probably his grave marker would read: DIEGO HARGREEVES – D-DE-DE-DEFEN-SSS. Because Klaus was a fucking asshole.

Eudora’s face softened. “I’m glad you didn’t die too, you jerk.”

“Would you miss me?” he asked.

“I would consider it a real pleasure to be able to get to miss you,” she said. “But apparently you’re the only one around here with any luck at all.”

(Send me a word + fandom/character and I’ll write you a quick thing.)

#the umbrella academy #diego hargreeves #eudora patch #Anonymous #tua tales

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golbatgender · 6 years

Text

How not to be a pox on fandom, incomplete list

Fanfic doesn't have to conform to canon. Canon ships are not better or worse than non-canon ones.

Someone shipping a character you ship in a different ship than you do is not an attack on you. It is not a claim that your ship is wrong. Fan creators each have their own internal canon that is separate from all others, unless they're collaborating. If you try to ban people from shipping something or try to find reasons why it's "bad" just because you ship something else, you're an asshole.

Shipping means that you think 2 or more characters look hot together or have an interesting relationship dynamic, or sometimes that you think the canon is implying they might be together. If the latter, that does not mean you have to like it or can't ship anything else, nor that it isn't a false flag or a temporary relationship or you just reading into things that much.

Shipping is a creative state. It should inspire you to make things. If you only want to destroy everything else, you're an asshole and only hurting fandom.

If you seriously intend to hurt or harass people because a ship got sunk or they ship something you don't like, you're an asshole.

If you're planning a literal protest because a ship got sunk, you're an entitled, selfish, toxic asshole. There are actual problems in the world, and you're picketing a TV show because you didn't like a ship. Go be ashamed of yourself.

Writing about something doesn't mean doing it in real life. The point of fiction is to mentally explore things you can't or shouldn't do in real life. You should try it sometime.

Don't do pedophilia libel. It's homophobic and destructive. (The average fan creator is queer.) If there isn't a direct victim, it's not predatory and the accusation is fake. The target can, under some circumstances, sue you. It's not worth it. Don't do it.

Don't shame people's kinks. If you don't like it, they didn't write it for you. There is a 99% chance you have some weird horrifying fetish, too.

(And this is not a claim that pedophilia is a kink, ffs. Assaulting people is bad. You'd better have some evidence that an assault actually happened before you accuse anyone though, you ghouls. Also, if you literally think there are pedophiles everywhere, your reality is distorted and you need to get help.)

Disgust ≠ moral turpitude. That's projection. Look it up.

"Fujoshi" doesn't mean what you think it means. Just stop using that word.

Fetishization requires dehumanization and reduction of a character to a single trait. Attraction is not automatically fetishization. Arousal is not fetishization.

Sex isn't bad. Stop being scared of sex. Especially stop being scared of fictional sex. You can't even get pregnant or catch an STI from it.

Stop judging people for having sex, for wanting to have sex, or for doing either in ways that you wouldn't.

Stop being scared of your own desires. Stop hating yourself for them. If you can't do that, at least don't project that onto your opinions of other people and their work.

A ship having abuse or conflict doesn't mean it's bad to ship. Just don't emulate it in real life. This is simple. If you don't get it, you need help. If you just pretend not to get it so you have an excuse to hate people who ship a thing you don't like, you're an asshole. Stop being an asshole.

Shipping doesn't matter in real life. People shipping ships you don't like doesn't matter in real life. Just ignore other people's ships.

If you get so obsessed with a ship that sinking it would make you have a real breakdown, you need to disengage. If that level of obsession happens regularly, you need to stop shipping at all until you're more stable, because it's not healthy for you, the same way you wouldn't run a marathon on a sprained ankle.

If you'd break up a friendship or relationship because they started shipping something you didn't like, you have a problem and you're being an asshole. Get help.

Don't insist things are canon when they've only been implied. Especially don't do that to attack other people or ships. Canon does not define validity. Stop being an asshole.

If you feel like you need external validation such as canon to ship or headcanon something—you don't. If canon directly contradicts the thing, it's simply AU. That means alternate universe, which means you can change as many rules and conditions as you want, for whatever reason. If you still feel like you need external validation, get help.

Wanting your own work to be canon compliant is fine. Bashing someone else because theirs is or isn't makes you an asshole. Don't be an asshole.

Before you reblog things that make claims about anything fannish or shippy, especially if it has buzzwords, apply critical thinking to make sure it and its underlying premises (assumptions about how things work) make sense. If you're allergic to thinking, take Benadryl. If it doesn't actually make sense but it gives you a plausible sounding excuse to be a hater, you're an asshole. Stop being an asshole.

If you like hating on people and get a rush out of it and take any excuse to yell at Bad People and tell them to choke, die, suck your toes, or pee themselves, you are an asshole and are probably not being honest with yourself about your motivations. Also, please look up the definitions of humiliation kink, breathplay, foot fetish, or omorashi, and try to find consenting partners for any of those that appeal to you and stop doing them verbally to strangers on the internet who didn't ask for it and probably aren't interested. (Because that's creepy and predatory. Notice it also involves actively doing something to real people instead of writing about it happening to fictional characters.)

If you think fictional characters are traumatized for real when people write about bad things happening to them and that such writers are real abusers, but that you're not hurting anyone by yelling at them and accusing them of terrible things and hurling outre sexual invective at them, you're an asshole and your reality is distorted. Get help.

Fictional characters aren't real people. Writers and other shippers are real people. Treat the real people only how you'd want to be treated, and get consent before you do anything else. Take out your antisocial impulses on the fictional characters, because they're not real and can't be hurt by it.

Being kind is ultimately more rewarding than trying to seek out and identify Bad People. "Everything is bad and I must punish it" can feel powerful but leaves you exhausted and terrified. Kindness is two-thirds leaving people alone and one-third encouraging what you do like, but you'll make real friends you don't have to be afraid of and walk on eggshells around, and the kindness comes back to you.

Creative, not destructive; transformative, not curatorial; kindness, not vengeance. Less ship wars, more free sailing.

Don't be an asshole.

#shipping discourse #orig post

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itsclydebitches · 5 years

Text

RWBY Recaps: Vol. 5 "Dread in the Air"

This is a re-posting from Oct. 21st, 2017 in an effort to get all my recaps fully on tumblr. Thanks!

Seeing the intro for the first time as an intro in Episode 2 is always exciting, especially since RWBY has a history of hinting at things to come in their openings. Though it is a little reminiscent of an Instagram filter, I do enjoy the grainy texture given to each of the girls' introduction shots--a move from pure, bright coloring to a darker texture reflective of the show's darker themes. The fact that we have house shenanigans alongside a passing silhouette of Ozpin, an intense fight against a literally larger than life Salem while Ruby still finds reasons to smile... it's looking like Volume 5 is finding its balance.

Indeed, in the name of balance this is one of the rare episodes where Ruby never shows up. "Rare" doesn't even cover it really, considering that in previous episodes focusing on others she at least appeared in the background: attending class, cheering on her teammates in the tournament, etc. However, as the stakes and cast grow, we should expect more time to be devoted to the other players in this game. "Dread in the Air" pays particular attention to its villains.

Any lingering doubts about Lionheart's loyalty are laid to rest as Watts visits him personally, escorting him to one of Salem's jellyfish grimm that's... just hanging out in the middle of the school somewhere? Alright then. We see partly now why Lionheart got rid of all his security. Not easy to keep your duplicity a secret if you're housing stuff like that next to the broom closet. Regardless, it's clear that he's being threatened or blackmailed and is caving under that pressure pretty quick. For a long time the fandom considered Qrow/Tai/Ironwood/Ozpin as the scarecrow/cowardly lion/tin man/wizard representatives, but with the introduction of Lionheart as a cowardly figure and an obviously lion-ish look/name, we might eventually be getting a third school headmaster in need of a brain...

Now that jellyfish thing is certainly creepy--remember Mercury and Emerald's first reactions?--but here we get to see that even the creepiest grimm become a thousand times worse in Salem's hands. Lionheart makes the mistake of trying to order her around, telling Salem to hurry and get the Spring Maiden before Qrow does, and his outburst is rewarded by tentacles snapping out to choke him, one threatening to put out an eye. The fact that Salem can control her grimm from such a distance lends credence to the theory that she's the other "brother" from Qrow's story, capable of manipulating all her creations. Or at least she’s connected to them somehow. She is, in short, their god. Does that mean then Ozpin can do similar things with life as her opposite? Regardless, this moment also implies that these jellyfish grimm aren't inherently weird scroll replacements, but rather that this communication is an ability that Salem is bestowing on them. After all, we haven't seen any of the other creatures being used as tools yet.

As Lionheart reports that he's found the Spring Maiden we learn that Cinder has finally recovered, at least enough to tell Watts to shut up and argue with Salem about murdering children. (Didn't you miss her?). I'm always pretty attuned to when people use names vs. epithets, and Cinder's move from "the silver eyed girl" to "Ruby" when she begs Salem to kill her shows just how personal this fight has become. Salem also warns Cinder that Ruby's powers--once she harnesses them--are a real threat to the Maiden's. Jury’s still out on whether that’s because of their magic or something else intrinsic to the Maidens.

After Salem asks to speak with Tyrion (appearing highly displeased) and Watts is tasked with somehow getting him a new tail, we cut to Weiss where my reading of last's week's conflict (and Weiss' character) rings true. They are still near the ship that sent out the distress call and after another one crashes Weiss says enough is enough. She's going to help, "What we should have done in the first place." We're then treated to what are, in my humble opinion, the most god awful grimm to ever grace the RWBY screen.

Wasps.

Or lancers, as they're called, with stingers that act like grappling hooks--isn't that wonderful?

A lot of people have complained about the fight sequences since Monty's death, but there's still a wonderful wealth of creativity here. Flexible magic structures aside, from a purely fight standpoint I've always appreciated the ways that Weiss utilizes her glyphs, in this case to steady herself on a moving airship, shoot volleys at a number of moving targets, slow their descent, and lift an entire cargo hold of dust to turn it into a bomb. (Seriously... she can do anything with that semblance.) When that doesn’t work we get what we all knew was coming: that knight. For the first time we really get to see it in action and learn that these summoned creatures aren't just mindless minions, but rather avatars that Weiss can control. While she closes her eyes in concentration the knight fights with her style: using glyphs as launching points to attack, the exact move we first got in her trailer.

It's also worth noting Weiss' little smirk while they're getting attacked by freaking wasps that shoot spikes and have a queen that is impervious to dust. It doesn't matter how hard things get. Like Ruby, Weiss just loves the challenge.

Meanwhile RWBY is once again showing that they have a very iffy handle on race issues. People have voiced numerous grievances over the years, from the small (that the racism against faunus is never actually shown--Cardin doesn't count when he's a bully to everyone), to the large (turning the group demanding equality into one of the series' main villains is...not good.) These problems are even more overt with the introduction of Sienna Khan, a tiger faunus who is murdered after just a few minutes of screen time. Her opinion that attacking the schools "crosses a line" and her speech that she wants respect from the humans sets her apart from Adam's radicalism. Yet at the same time including "fear" in what she wants and the implication that she's only refraining from going to war because she might not win... it adds complexity to her motives, complexity that we rarely see in so short a scene. Not that it matters, considering Adam runs her through with his sword seconds later. The fact that Sienna is one of the very few PoCs in RWBY (and a woman to boot) just makes her sudden death all the more cringe-worthy. It wasn't impactful and it hardly seemed necessary. Was I really the only one who thought Adam was already in charge of the White Fang? RWBY's wiki assures me Salem mentioned Sienna once, but it was hardly emphasized. Her loss of power means little when at least some of us didn't realize she had that power to begin with.

Admittedly some fans are already theorizing that Sienna survived (A single stabbing couldn't kill her, right? What's her semblance? Where’s her aura? They didn't have to mention that burial...) but we'll have to wait to find out if Sienna pops back up and spills some blood when they try to put her in the ground. For now Adam lounges on the throne, dreaming of the humans serving him, and Hazel laments that, "Nobody needed to die today." Despite my interest in Hazel and his connection to Oscar, I can't overlook the fact that this is two white men seizing power (and the scene) through violence. It's apt, but not exactly refreshing.

Luckily we don't end with these two. Poor Weiss takes a beating in that crash and the final scene is her waking up, begging two shady-looking men for help. Who should walk over then but Raven. See? Groups are already coming together! Just... not how we wanted.

First the Spring Maiden and now the (former) Schnee heiress. Raven sure does like kidnapping important young women. Sadly we'll have to wait until next week to see how Weiss gets out of this one.

Until then,

Other Details of Note

Watts - "A little birdie told us." You're hilarious, asshole. Please stick around.

Nice change in audio as Salem speaks through the grimm. Her voice echoes a great deal, making her appear even more powerful and threatening than usual.

I appreciated the pilot's skill helping to save Weiss' ass. It's incredibly rare for us to see non-Huntsmen making a difference in combat.

We learn that the White Fang will execute its members if needed. They're no longer just an "activist" organization, but truly creating their own government and rule. Salem is, in many ways, no longer the biggest threat.

Can't help but think that Adam's choice to blame Sienna's death on a human huntsmen will cause serious trouble down the road (as is his intention). The kingdoms are already divided on the huntsman's place within society and having the White Fang hyper-focused on them (as an embodiment of the worst of humanity) certainly won't help.

#rwby #mymetas #RWBY Recaps

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rudemaidenswrite · 5 years

Text

Sweet Revenge Kisses

Part 3

Fandom: Detroit Become Human

RK800 Connor x Reader

By: @pusantheamazonian not beta’d

Part 1 Part 2

It’s been five days since were arrested and you have not contacted Connor at all. He also has not tried to contact you. Not that you have been counting the days. You don't know whether to feel embarrassed or angry that he hasn't said anything about your behavior, and that is why he can no longer pursue a relationship with you. But it was nice while it lasted.

“Andrew make sure the grease trap is empty.” You wipe off the outside bar.

“Got it.”

“Y/N?”

Speak of the devil. “Connor? What are you doing here?” Startled, he’s standing a few feet away dressed like he’s homeless.

“I came to check on you and Andrew.” Connor remains calm and monotone.

“Well I'm doing okay. Andrew’s inside if you wanna talk to him.” You point to the door.

“Thank you.” Connor nods and walks around to the side. “Hello Andrew.”

“Oh hello Detective Connor. What can I do for you?” Andrew sets the dishes down to face Connor.

“I’m not a detective, I work as an advisor for the DPD on human-android relations and assist Lutueinate Anderson.”

“Oh well…” Confused Andrew pauses trying to figure out what to say.

“You can just call me Connor. I came to check on how you are adjusting after the incident.”

“I’m doing...okay. Y/N explained that some people would not understand and would cause problems. But I never thought that it would happen to me.... It was an experience to learn from once i got over the shock.”

“Very insightful Andrew.”

“Yes Y/N has been very helpful adjusting in my deviancy.” Andrew smiles with his response.

“How did you become defiant?”

“I don't really know. Y/N says I was attacked by the feels one day.”

“The feels?” Connor asks specifically. No one has yet used words like that.

“Feelings. One of our regulars was an elderly lady, from Rhode Island. It was just the kindness she showed me and the overbearing sadness I felt when she passed.”

“I see how that would active deviancy.” With a slight nod Connor agrees. Feelings such as that would activate deviancy.

“Have you talked to Y/N?”

“I asked her how she doing before coming in here. Why?” Connor is surprised at this question.

“You were the one she went on a date with right?” Andrew asks as if he knows the answer already.

“How did you know that?”

“She said there was an impromptu date with an android. She likes him enough to carry on the relationship but doesn't know how to address it because he works with Gavin. And Gavin is well Gavin.”

“Detective Reed hates you?”

“I don't think so, I know he tolerates me. We haven't reached that level of friendship. But Y/N said she would beat him up if he doesn't treat me like a decent human being.” Andrew shrugs.

“She threatened him into behaving?”

“Yes, but you didn't hear it from me.”

“Thank you Andrew for your time. It was a pleasure speaking with you.”

“Likewise.” Andrew nods while returning to work.

Connor smiles and exits. Rounding the corner he is surprised to hear you singing.

Singing you finish closing up outside. “Naneun seuwiseue geonneo gassda. Modeun Yodellersgaissneun gos yodeul-ege baeulyeogohagi. Nae yodel-oh-ee-deewa hamkke naneun keun nop-eun san-eul ollassda. Malg-go hwachanghan nal-e geuligo yodellin 'gal-eul mannassseubnida. Jag-eun seuwiseu syalleeseo ollawa. Geunyeoneun na-ege yodeul-ege galeuchyeo jwoss-eo. Yodeul-o-i-di. Diddly-odel-oh-ee-dee Diddly-odel-oh-ee-dee.”

“You speak Korean?” Connor asks loudly.

“What? No, I barely speak English.” Jumping from his sudden appearance, you quickly process his question.

“But that song-”

“Was from a movie I like, it’s in Korean.” Interrupting you clarify yourself.

“What movie?”

“I'm a cyborg but that's Ok.” You’re a little embarrassed to say it because Connor is an android.

“Excuse me?”

“The movie is called, I'm a Cyborg but that's Ok. A young woman believes she's a cyborg, is hospitalized in a mental institution where she eats nothing and talks to inanimate objects. She comes to the attention of a ping-pong playing patient who steals other people souls, makes it his goal to get her to eat.”

“Oh, that explains a few things.” Connor makes a face that seems like the light bulb has gone off.

“Explains what?” That comment made you slightly angry. Sounding as if he came to the conclusion you are crazy.

“Nothing, you have an interesting menu.” Realizing his mistake Connor points at the menu board.

“.... Thanks. Everyone has to bring their own creativity to this business.”

“You have vegetarian options.”

“Um yeah many of my neighbors are vegans. I've learned that even if you're not vegan many people prefer to have the option.” “Very considerate.”

“I guess, but it's more like knowing your target consumer.”

“Good rule to follow.”

“Do you need something? Or are you just killing time?” Crossing your arms you address the issue head on.

“I do have a question for you.”

“And?”

“Oh.. when would you like to go out on another date?”

“What? You want to go out again?” You’re floored by the question.

“Yes. Was that not the general consensus?”

“I-I thought that after me being arrested you wouldn't want to be associated with a possible felon.”

“No. I admit it was confusing and concerning how the day's events went. But I find your company… enjoyable.” Connor’s blush returns, turning his ears a deep blue.

“Okay... well do you wanna help me tamper with Gavin's desk tonight. So that it's all set for tomorrow?”

“Are you sure you're not trying to lead me down a criminal path?”

“Noooooo.”

“Okay.”

“Good, well why don't I meet you outside the police station in an hour?”

“I will be waiting.” Connor smiles.

That he did. It took some convincing before Connor actually helped with the tampering but he got you inside easily and was the look out. Then that was it, you didn't hear from him until late afternoon when he sent you a video. Watching the video you almost peed yourself. Connor had recorded Gavin opening his desk for you. Unaware Gavin just casually opened his drawer and the confetti shooted out causing him to spill his coffee. Then Gavin's angry texts made it the best day ever!

Angry Homo: You bitch 😠

Y/N: Happy Birthday!!!!!! 😆

Angry Homo: I hate you. You're never allowed at my desk again.

Y/N: You loved it don't deny it!

Angry Homo: …….

*KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK*

“Y/N! Y/N! Open up!” The words are slurred as you approach the door.

“Good damn it Gavin! Your drunk.” Moving to the side he stumbles past you slumping on the couch. “What the hell are you doing her? It's 2AM. You should be sleeping, you have work.”

“Fuck work.”

“Gavin we are not doing this again. You can't quit your job because you're resentful.”

“Fuck you.”

“Yeah yeah move over you can't take up the whole couch.” You shove his legs off the couch, sitting on the arm rest.

“Ugh…”

“Why are you drunk on my couch this time?”

“You fucking the tin can or what?” He shouts loud enough to wake the neighbors.

“Gavin! That's none of your business but no we are not. We are not dating either, we've only been on two dates.”

“Shocker… seeing that my own sis is conspiring against me.”

“Oh my god. Stop being an angry closet homo. Connor is not Geoff nor that sex android.”

“Still programmable... for evil… all should….die.” The slurring becomes worse.

“This is bullshit. We both know it. You're my brother, I know you. You're a submissive tsundere who loves animals and never forgets a birthday. This projected persona of assholeness. Is really annoying. So what is really going on?”

No response just angry grumbles, annoyed you go to bed. Slamming the door shut.

“They're getting married.” The whisper fades into the cushion.

Making a cup of coffee you sit at the table and sort yesterday's mail. A certain envelope peaks your interest and name of the sender is what concerns you.

You storm past Connor and Hank, aiming directly for Gavin.

“Mutherfucker!” You slam the envelope down.

Gavin jumps. “What the hell?”

“This is why you've been extra bitchy? They sent you an invitation.” You glare at him.

“How did you-”

“They sent me one too.” Gavin looks off to the side indicating a yes. “Fuck it. I'm going to kill him.” Gavin bolts up dragging you out the back door. Opting for privacy.

Connor walks to Gavin’s desk to see what has started this fight. “Connor I wouldn't do that.” Hank calls.

“I'm only collecting data.” Connor picks up the opened envelope. “It's a wedding invitation from Geoffrey Sprouse and Adam. There's no other last name.”

“Connor, l would leave it alone. Gavin will shoot you.”

“Why? If wedding invitations are being sent, then this public knowledge.” Connor returns to his desk.

“Fuck.Why me?” Hank sighs. “Connor did you listen to anything Y/N just said?”

“Mutherfucker. Gavin's being extra bitchy because of the wedding invitation. Y/N is going to kill him.” Connor recites everything back.

“You're supposed to be an RK800 prototype. How is none of this connecting?” Silence from Connor. Hank looks around quickly before leaning closer. “Don't tell anyone and you did not hear it from me. Geoffrey from the invitation is Gavin's ex boyfriend. Y/N dubs Gavin as a angry closet homo. We just called it gay rage.”

Connor's LED light is spinning back and forth between hello and red.

“You okay Connor?”

“Yes...just processing.” Connor nods slowly.

Outside Gavin lights a cigarette. “Fine. Yes they sent me a wedding invitation a week ago. That's why I've been bitchy!”

“They are not worth it. Well Geoff needs a good beating.” Aggravated you rub your forehead angrily.

“He needs to suffer and die.”

“He's not the only one who needs to go….” Shrugging you agree but that’s not topic right now.

“What?” Gavin stares questionly at you.

“You wanna crash it?” Smirking you glance back at him. Gavin just lets out an annoyed sigh. “Well?”

#dbh gavin #dbh connor #dbh hank #detroit become human #RK800 Connor #connor x reader #connor rk800 #crash #birthday #schemes #wedding invitations #another date #raging gay #gay rage #drunkness #SIBLING WAR #reader insert #food truck #the feels

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sansloii-a · 5 years

Note

coughs so am I allowed to request all of the “salty af munday meme” answers or—

oh my fucking god || @imbruedinfear

strap in y’all ‘cause someone wants to hear me complain

What does someone have to do for an instant unfollow from you?

if you post excessive ooc in quick sucession, i will unfollow you faster than the speed of light. i’ve done it in the past. i will not hesitate to do it in the future. i don’t care if it’s tagged. if i’m on and i see it, you’re gone, my friend.

What’s the WORST thing that has happened to you rp wise?

uuuuuuuuuuhhhhh there was this one dude that legit tried to monopolize one of my old muses on another blog, got upset when i set a main ship for said muse, complained to me nonstop, was trying to use me to get back into rping with my friend group ( which he called “the popular group” for a reason I don’t understand to this day ), only wanted to ship, got pissy over a fucking pokemon au ( if you ever wanna hear about this, lemme know ), tried to insert a ship into every au we made automatically, tried to tell me how to write smut for no reason ( said he would read it and give me tips and everything ffs ), was an asshole to my sister ( who rped way back when but doesn’t anymore ), made several friends of mine uncomfortable to the point of leaving the rp scene for a bit, blamed other people for issues that he honestly had a part in causing, and a bunch of other things that i’m forgetting right now.

i figure that’s the worst because nothing has topped that. nothing. that happened years ago, though, so i’m good now. no one fucks with me like that anymore.

What was a mildly annoying thing that has happened to you rp wise?

i got about 10 asks from someone when i wanted to do other shit ( my asks that are in the double digits ) ‘cause they wanted me to send them an ask. annoyed me to hell and back and i promptly deleted those asks

¯\_(ツ)_/¯ tough shit. i was not in the mood for games and i’m still not.

Has anyone ever tried to steal your blog? Your headcanons? Icons? All that jazz?

not that i know of??? i hope not ‘cause i worked real hard on all this and if you steal anything from me, i’m gonna throw a huge-ass heaping of karma your way.

How many people don’t like you?

i dunno. i’d say none but i know not everyone is going to like me so if you’re out there and you don’t like me, you’re entitled to that. don’t tell me, though, ‘cause i don’t wanna know if you don’t like me.

How many people do you not like?

¯\_(ツ)_/¯ i don’t really care enough to actively not like anyone. you can annoy me but unless you piss me off and continue to piss me off, you get stuck on the “do not care” list.

Have you managed to stay away from drama?

i give advice when needed on how to avoid whoever my convo partner is talking about and i avoid getting involved. unless it’s like… a close friend or involves a close friend, i refuse to get in the middle of whatever issue people have. i’m not about to have my ass dragged into problems that do not concern me.

i don’t cause drama either so that’s also how i stay away from it. 100% guaranteed to keep you out of drama.

Have you ever been in the middle of drama?

personal/friend drama? yes. rp drama? see above.

none of that was fun btw. it was a lot of me getting angry, being frustrated with certain behaviors, having to cut people out for doing shit/saying shit that they knew they shouldn’t have and refusing to recognize that they have fucked up and use that to change their behavior, etc. it’s draining and not fun and i’m pretty sure it shaved years off my life but y’know, it is what it is. the most i can do about it is look out for myself and keep out of relationships that will put me in those situations again.

Have you ever tried to bring peace to a situation?

no because i used to be friends with people that weren’t straightforward with shit and made excuses instead of changing their behavior. i don’t wanna go into it ‘cause and i can’t remember all the details but boy, peace was hard to come by and it didn’t last long. i wasn’t going to try to bring peace if people didn’t really seem to want it and level with each other.

How long do you stay mad?

depends on what you do, tbh, but it’s a couple hours at least. a couple days at most.

What’s your rp pet peeve? ( i have a lot of these )

playing “find the links” on someone’s blog. if i can’t find your links, i’ll try “/rules”, “/r.”, “/g.” and whatever else i can think of to get your rules and a couple more things to get your muse’s about. however, i shouldn’t have to and it takes little effort to make it so that your links are easily distinguishable from the background. if i don’t find them, i don’t find them. and i don’t follow/follow back

Have you ever forgiven a partner when you shouldn’t have?

nope. not now, not ever.

Have you ever been forgiven when you knew you shouldn’t have been?

i’ve never been in a situation where i’ve had to be forgiven for stuff i’ve done so no.

What fads/trends are you so over?

the first thing i thought of was the fucking double ampersands thing that was everywhere at some point. those annoyed me so much and i’m so glad they’re gone. super small text needs to die too. i may not wear glasses but i sure as shit ain’t straining my eyes to see what you’ve written in 3px font.

honestly, a lot of the excessive aesthetic shit that sacrifices accessibility for #aesthetic

Have you ever rp’d with someone you knew for a fact was abusive but tried to give them a chance/to make up your own opinion on the roleplayer? Did they change or did you understand what people were talking about?

nope, nope. nu-uh. if i knew for a fact that this person was abusive in that moment, i wouldn’t touch them with a ten foot pole. absolutely fucking not.

Have you ever made a public call out post?

-loud snort- hell no.

What has made you completely lose your chill?

honestly? look at my worst experience and that about sums up shit that has made me lose my chill. you really gotta push my fucking buttons to make me mad ‘cause i’m usually pretty laid back.

What do you think about public call out posts?

answered here

A fandom that you feel isn't open and accepting?

¯\_(ツ)_/¯ i dunno. i’ve only been in one before and that was f.ire e.mblem

A fandom that you feel is open and accepting?

imma be real honest with y’all--the only fandom i’ve been in that i will acknowledge is f.ire e.mblem and i had a pretty sweet time there. i had some ups and downs but it was an overall good experience for me. it was pretty open and inviting in my opinion but i tended to stay away from the douchebags in the fandom ‘cause i just wanted to have a good time there.

Thoughts on duplicates following you?

if i have duplicates of my oc following me, i’ll have a whole fucking cow

Do you agree with reblog karma or is it forced interaction?

i don’t think it’s forced interaction most of the time ( with sentence starters, symbol memes, memes that take literally zero fucking effort to send in ) ‘cause... everyone likes getting stuff, y’know. if you wanna reblog it from someone, just take a moment to send something in if the interaction is feasible. that’s the key thing here. if it’s feasible, then i don’t see the issue with sending something in before you reblog it from someone ( especially if you’re mutuals ). if it isn’t and you just wanna reblog it, reblog it from the source. it’s not that serious.

if someone nitpicks you for rebloging the same meme they did but you reblogged it from the source, i wouldn’t feel too bad. you know what’s best for your muses and if you don’t feel like the meme is cohesive for interactions, then that’s your prerogative and the

Has someone ever ruined an FC or character for you?

answered here

Has someone been jealous of you?

i’ve only been told that someone was jealous of me once and it was a long time ago. i have never heard that from anyone again ( not that i remember, at least )

Have you ever been jealous of anyone?

mhm! but it usually comes when i’m feeling super down about my blog and doubting my ocs ( which isn’t often ). when i do get jealous, it’s over interactions and the like and my big dumb galactic brain is like “wow, don’t you wish you had those interactions? don’t you wish you were rping with those people?” and makes me feel bad about the interactions i have, the speed at which i reply, my ocs, how many people are interesting in my ocs, etc. however, this shit doesn’t last long ‘cause i have a bunch of wonderful people that motivate me to get out of that funk and just... focus on what i have instead of what i’m seeing on my dash. i remind myself that i’m here to have fun and i shouldn’t try to match my experience to others’

How has Tumblr RP changed since you started?

more formatting, smaller icons, more focus on having a fancy ass theme, more formatting, more callout posts, less communication in some regard, more reminders for communication.more psa posts, more formatting--

honestly, i’ve been on tumblr since 2012 and most of it is a blur lmao. i probably don’t remember everything ‘cause i was.... 15 when i started rping on here. i’m 22 now. i’m sure a lot has changed in seven years but i definitely haven’t seen it all.

Thoughts on the fandom you're currently rping in?

i’m currently a fandomless blog and boy, is it a lot more fun XD i have a lot more creative liberty and i can shape the world my muses live in to my liking, as opposed to following or just adding onto what the fandom universe already is. it’s a lot of work and it takes a ton of time but it’s fun and i’m enjoying every second of it!

How salty are you feeling right now?

answered here but i’ll just say it again: not salty. just tired and rambly because holy shit this took a while

#imbruedinfear #🗪 ┊ ⧼ yᴏᴜ ᴀʟʟ ᴀʀᴇ ꜱᴏᴍᴇ ᴄʜᴀᴛᴛy ᴄᴀᴛʜyꜱ! ⧽ ⇹ ( asks. )#ツ ┊ ⧼ ᴄᴀᴛᴡᴀʟᴋ ᴛᴀʟᴋ ⧽ ⇹ ( ooc. )#.i answered ALL those questions #.i hope my salt was enough for you

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