#I do not want to believe this | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

culmaer · 2 years

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#I've tried to avoid thinking about this for years #but have nevertheless come to a conclusion #I do in fact believe in god #(not capitalised or censored bc I don't mean this in the Abrahamic sense)#but I live my life as an atheist #because I'm angry and refuse to acknowledge them #I simply do not believe they are beneficient and merciful #yet I believe #...#I do not want to believe this #I wish I were truly atheist or joyfully faithful #but alas #but no need for concern #I am not a bitter person #despite everything I believe kindness is the most important thing #because if god will not be there for us #we have to be there for each other #I do realise this is probably the most pointless beleid system #and is in every practical sense atheism #but I do pray or meditate or whatever for what it's worth...#when I say god is uncaring #I do not mean they are malicious #certainly not #I'm just not sure what the value system is (the divine is after all incomprehensible)#not that it would matter anyway #bc I do not believe in a heaven for ''good people'' and hell for ''bad people'' that's frankly ridiculous #but there is an afterlife #more than anything I am convinced of that

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arsenicpanda · 6 months

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FIVE NIGHTS AT FREDDY'S (2023)

#fnaf #fnafedit #Five Nights at Freddy's #fnaf movie #matpat #fnaf movie spoilers #fnaf spoilers #fyeahmovies #filmedit #gifs*#arsenicpandacreates #this LYING LIAR WHO LIES acted like he WASN'T IN THE MOVIE alskjflskjf #yes I DID stop watching to make this gif set what of it?#also I do not like this coloring but also I'm sick of looking at it and want to sleep soooooo #there is NO COLOR in this scene I SWEAR TO GOD #you would not BELIEVE the vibrancy + saturation it took to get it to this bland point #and any further started causing problems booooooo

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artkaninchenbau · 2 months

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A h-heartfelt reunion..?

Bonus

#Sir Crocodile #Monkey D Dragon #Emporio Ivankov #Dragodile #Crocodad #My art #One Piece #We're not gonna talk about the work I should be doing rn I have Severe Procrastinitis and I'm doing my best okay #Alternative version where it was both Crocodile and Garp beating Dragon's ass before Iva-chan joined in but that was too much effort lmao #I'm a believer in Dragon being a Wind Logia so don't worry guys he is 100% taking this beating intentionally #He knows what he did and he's dealing with the concequences of his actions. With grace.#You know I realize Iva-chan should be two whole meters taller than Crocodile but we're just gonna ignore that #Look Iva-chan taking Crocodile's side and being like ''Crocoboy is right you fucked up bad Dragon'' brings me joy #And for real I've been wanting to draw this for months. But never did because I had other shit to do. Which I still do #But. You know. Sometimes you need to draw a shitpost. It's ✨ self-care ✨#And appearently One Piece shitpost comics have become the thing I draw for myself on occassion

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shadowtraveled · 2 months

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"mithrun is the only real monsterfucker in dungeon meshi" is objectively the funniest bit you can get out of his everything, but in all seriousness i think his attraction to his love interest is deliberately overstated—and that makes sense, because romantic jealousy is a classic and digestible motive, which is explicitly what kabru was aiming for in condensing mithrun's backstory, and also because until chapter 94, mithrun wasn't willing to admit to the true nature of his desires.

but because romantic envy is both classic and digestible, it probably isn’t a unique enough or complicated enough desire to tempt a demon’s appetite. mithrun’s wish, as far as we can figure from kabru’s reduced retelling, was to have a life in which he had never become one of the canaries, and that carries like 3857 implications and desires within it. that’s delicious. his love interest acts as sort of a red herring to his motivation for making it, though. (side note: i'm saying "love interest" here because, keeping in mind that i barely speak japanese on a good day anymore, "想い人" is something i'd usually take as just kind of an old-fashioned and romantic way to refer to a lover, but in context i wonder if both the connotation of yearning and the vagueness are intentional, and i think this phrasing gets those aspects of it more effectively. anyway.)

mithrun considered his love interest to be untrustworthy. there was a minute where i thought that comment might be about a similar-looking elf (yugin, one of his squad members), but comparing the two…

the "sketchy" arrow is definitely referring to the elf we know as his love interest—the bangs go toward her right, she only has the one forehead ornament, and, most notably, her ears aren't notched.

every time she’s given a full-body depiction in his dungeon, she’s drawn as a chimera, with the body of a snake from the waist down. (side note: the “what if a dungeon has chimeras before reaching level 4?”/“then the dungeon lord is unstable” exchange just being mithrun grilling his past self alive is so funny. he’s so. but anyway) there are a couple things about this.

first, the snake part of the chimera appears to be modeled after some species of coral snake mimic

which, in the biology-for-fun manga, i… doubt is a coincidence, especially with the added context of the “untrustworthy” comment. the dungeon’s conjured illusion of mithrun’s love interest was a harmless copycat of a venomous original. for whatever reason, he felt this person was a threat and made up a "safe" version of her to be in a relationship with, and while it’s definitely possible to be attracted to or even love someone you find to be toxic and/or intimidating, when you take that into consideration alongside the configuration of her body, you get some interesting implications.

which brings us to our second point: if we assume that mithrun was not in fact fucking a snake, then sexual attraction, at least, was so far removed from his idea of a relationship with this person that he did not even bother to keep her dungeon copy human enough to maintain the illusion of the option of a sexual relationship. this is somewhat echoed in the depictions of their interactions, which also imply a frankly unexpected romantic distance. she kisses his cheek and he doesn't seem to react; she's at the edge of a narrow bed with only one set of pillows, on top of his blankets while he's underneath them.

the kiss is particularly interesting because it seems to contrast the text. kabru's narration tells us this was everything mithrun could have asked for, but mithrun is there looking unreadable to pensive, likely because this is right before the panel that makes it clear things in the dungeon are beginning to go wrong.

walking through this backwards for a minute, we have the physical barrier of his bedding and the spatial separation inherent in a bed made for one person, the emotional barrier of his mounting anxiety getting in the way of his ability to enjoy the affection he sought, and... the snake, which historically carries the connotation of temptation, yes, but also mistrust, barring physical intimacy. okay. ok. if a dungeon reflects the mentality of its lord, all of this might suggest that mithrun was not able to have any real desire for a relationship with this person. his unwillingness to be vulnerable or let another person in was insurmountable. but in that case, why was she such a focal point that she remained to the end, after his dungeon had stopped creating iterations of his friends to come and visit him? why would he get so upset over her meeting with his brother that he became lord of a dungeon about it?

well. mithrun's brother was also interested in her, probably genuinely. and mithrun had to win.

you have an older brother who your parents completely ignore, probably in part because he is chronically ill/disabled and almost definitely in part because he received a ton of recessive traits that resulted in rumors that he was an illegitimate child. you are aware, most likely because those same parents fucking told you, that you actually are an illegitimate child. but they keep you around because you had the good fortune of looking just like your mother. what can that possibly teach you but that you, like your brother, are disposable?

it's utterly unsurprising that mithrun, under these circumstances, developed a pathological need to be better than everyone around him. people don't keep you otherwise. i'd argue this is also why he says he looked down on everyone he knew while milsiril claims his dungeon reeked of feelings of inferiority—he sought out people's worst traits and prioritized them in his mind to protect his already extremely fragile sense of self-worth, and all the while he tried to be as likable and high-performing as he possibly could be. his parents disposed of him anyway, but even then he tried to keep up the performance. he was kind to everyone. he never once lost to a dungeon.

when he saw his "love interest" meeting up with his brother, what he saw was himself being replaced by a person his parents had always treated as worthless, and if that was what they thought of the child they'd kept, what value could anyone possibly see in the bastard they'd given away to die? mithrun and kabru tell the story like he wanted to win this unnamed elf's heart, but it was never about being with her. it was about cementing his worth, proving that he didn't deserve to be thrown away.

and so it's particularly cruel that his demon discarded him, too. but maybe it's also particularly gentle that, in the end, there was someone who refused to even consider giving up on him.

kui laid it out in three panels better than i could hope to.

yeah. it's love. you wanted to be loved, even when the only way you were able to understand it was through the desire to be wanted, and you wanted that so badly that the idea of being consumed felt like the promise of finally mattering to someone.

#dungeon meshi spoilers #mithrun #dungeon meshi #this has been rotating for a while but i wanted to check my evidence before getting into it thanks user angelspenance for posting that meme #half of this is just the text and the other half i'm sure has been said before but it's making my brain [radio static] so here this is #someone did for sure mention this but i do find it very cute that in his fucked up conjured world meant to portray his ideal reality #his teammates came to visit him. like part of the fantasy was then explicitly that they cared about him and were his friends. even though #he says he tried to see the worst in them.#hm it does feel important to note that i do also believe 100% in mithrun suicidality--his desire to be eaten does seem to focus a lot on #wanting it to be Over. wanting not to be left incomplete and empty anymore.#but that loops back around a bit to the hole in your heart that appears when you feel unloved. it's many things and the same thing at once #snakes #long post #severe problems #meshy

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plorpl · 7 months

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Today I offer Tumblr real, undoctored screenshots from the House MD DS game, free of context:

Special awards go to:

"Would you still love me if I was a worm" core:

And my personal favorite, for all the omegaverse girlies out there:

EDIT: adding a link to my other post with more info on the game

#house md #hate crimes md #ds game #i do not recommend this game fwiw #truly a surreal experience start to finish #i have many many more if anyone wants to see them #believe it or not i am showing restraint here

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chloesimaginationthings · 1 month

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Gregory believes in the Glammike FNAF theory,,

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inkskinned · 5 months

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the problem is that being single is seen as the consolidation prize, and not the natural neutral state of being-a-person. at the end of the movie or the book or the poetry, there is a person waiting for you at the altar, and they love you. if the play is a comedy, everyone gets married. the metaphor is about how you are not-whole. the metaphor is about how everyone is going to be happily-ever-after. the metaphor is that romantic love is the most important resource on the planet, not just all-love. all-love is not a thing, that is a disappointment. the treasure is not the friends we made along the way. the treasure is the girl you landed.

the metaphor is that you cannot be alone, that means you are broken. are you getting over someone? that is acceptable, you can be getting over someone, but not for long. you must be single because you would rather not be single. you must be single and looking to not-be-single. you must want to date, eventually.

friendship and community are never seen as being equal-to or even-better than romantic connection. that person is your one! you need to find them. you need to hunt through the sand particles until you can shift out some kind of gem. this is regardless to your own experience of the beach and the sun. you need to be somewhere with someone.

if you are taking this time alone to heal, that is so sad. everyone gives you this little pitying look. the understanding is that you are not actually happier than you were before you were single. it is seen as a sort of pity - oh, you are choosing yourself, making yourself the priority? - that isn't quite right. you must mean that you are making yourself ready for the right person. you are just laying the bed better this time. open up your heart. you'll find them, we promise!

what do you mean you're really-truly genuinely-very happy? you are probably misremembering what it was like to be in a relationship. and besides, once you meet your person, that time will look grey and bland and wasted. your person is the only way for you to see in color. so what if you have taken this time - for the first time in your entire life - to actually-for-real do the fucking work. you can be proud of yourself, sure. but the way we need to know that you got better is that you get a partner. you're healed enough for the next bad part!

people don't choose to be single, they just say they're choosing to be single - they actually mean "nobody wants to date me." it doesn't matter how many people you have gently rejected or how many times you've talked it over carefully in therapy. what matters is that you are single, and by all accounts - that means you are something worth our pity. your successes and life all seem pale in the sunlight. sure, you have done amazing things and finally found your way in life. what matters is that there wasn't a person in the room with you while you did it.

you want to tell them - that's the whole thing. i didn't know how to be alone in the room. i didn't know how to handle the silence. every moment was so sharp, and i kept choosing the wrong way to close the door. i have spent my entire life in the empty well, living in the ricochet of someone else's cruelty. for once i have built myself a ladder. for once everything i taste is all mine, every bite of sunshine and laughter. i have learned how to sleep out in the open with my memories. recently, they have started to purr.

your father rolls his eyes. listen. this isn't about you. i just want a grandchild in my future.

#writeblr #i actually didn't want a girlfriend before nat #and my dad recently said to me - raquel. i don't approve of the promiscuity #1. i am 30.#2. i had casually dated about 4 people over 18 months.#3. i do believe he was just mad that i get more girls than he ever did #i had to look this 60 yr old deacon in the eye and say. okay so i have a girlfriend first of all im just not tellin yall about her #and secondly.#OKAY???? OLD MAN I DONT EVEN LIVE HERE WHAT ARE U GONNA DO ABOUT IT #briefly considered asking nat if i could pretend we were a one night stand kind of a thing

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critterbitter · 5 months

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Good dialga she’s getting stronger.

One of my headcannons about ghost pokemon is that they need anchors to remain in Xerneas’s domain. Most ghost pokemon seek out a location or trainer. With proper love and care, they can last for decades to centuries before dispersing back into the aether.

Litwick chose Ingo, probably because he’s fun to menace. (This will totally not have horrific implications in the future.)

Pov: ur candle would rather snack on your identical twin,,, the utter disrespect Click here for more submas shenanigans!

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toboldlymuppet · 1 month

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gripped by fear

my piece for dark waters, an op angst zine

#i love my boy hes so brave and beautiful #usopp #one piece #op fanart #skeletons #horror #i guess?#something about not wanting to be left behind but also fearing your own inability to do something about it #and in turn feeding your own self-doubt and believing that getting involved will only hurt more people etcetc #water 7 enies lobby arc girlies where you at

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imagine-too-many-books · 1 month

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Imagine Annabeth and Percy have a kid early, unplanned and it kinda fucks with their finances so Percy drops out of school to get a job so he can care for the kid and support Annabeth in school. At first he gets a job teaching kids sword fighting but then he hears about underwater welding which pays well because it’s dangerous but Percy is a child of the sea so it’s much less so for him. His boss is even willing to give him flexible hours which means Annabeth doesn’t have to take their kid to class anymore and they can actually afford daycare (why does is it the price of a mortgage nowadays???). A huge financial burden is lifted and Percy doesn’t mind the work so it’s good all the way around.

Fast forward to when Annabeth is done her masters in architecture and lands a job at a top firm. They’ve got savings and have Annabeth’s income to rely on. Percy heads back to school and finishes a degree in marine biology, going on to research some really niche topics like how underwater welding impacts the environment and shifting from there until he’s a well known expert in the field.

Just them finding their way. Supporting each other and landing on their feet no matter what

#i really like the idea of Percy having a non-linear path through school to a career #he’s 17 #just because Annabeth knows what she wants to do doesn’t mean he does #let him find his path #also if Percy and Annabeth had an accidental baby #(completely possible once they’re at New Rome though I do believe they’re careful and responsible about it)#and if they couldn’t survive with the baby on scholarships + Fredrick’s money for Annabeth + what little Sally and Paul can spare #I think Percy would be the one to drop out for a full time job #and then go back to school once they’re stable #also I just generally think Percy would be the primary parent so Annabeth could really pursue her career #and because Annabeth’s job probably pays more and has more earning potential #percy and annabeth #percy jackson #percy jackon and the olympians #pjo #percabeth #post HoO

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egophiliac · 20 days

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Serious question.

Do you think we’ll see the parents/family of each of the guys???

Like, We’ve been TEASED with Ace’s brother, that I’m starting to think it’s just a reference to that Alice in Wonderland park character in Japan and nothing else….

Jack’s family, Ruggie’s grandma, Falena, Maleficia, Ms.Rosehearts, Just now Vil’s dad is in the picture which I am really happy but now I’m wondering about his mom, and so Deuce’s mom.

I mean, some HAVE a silhouette!! It could mean they do have a design in the making/ready to show. They could’ve shown us Falena in the Tamashina (hope I said that correctly) event, but didn’t (prolly to make Leona not so σ(▼□▼メ) and it’s understandable)

Anyhow, any idea/headcannon about this? Who do you want to see first?

I'm wondering if everyone might eventually get a travel event? like they've now introduced with Vil's that it doesn't have to be specifically hometowns, so that opens things up a lot! (especially if they have to figure out how to do three separate Coral Sea visits) (how would that even work otherwise)

but yeah, I hope everyone gets a chance! there's a lot of backstory characters I would LOVE to meet. :D :D :D though I do think some of them don't really suit the more light-hearted tone of the events (pretty sure you're right about that being why Falena wasn't in Tamashina-Mina, that would've just been. too much for Leona.) so like...we're probably not ever going to meet the Rosehearts. or Maleficia (although I maintain that this would be THE funniest possible way to introduce her outside of the main story, and actually I would love this a lot, can we please Twst) (I need to see her to put Malleus in a froofy little outfit and tell him what a handsome boy he is). but they've sprung surprises like Kifaji on us, and honestly anyone who shows up and tells embarrassing stories about characters' childhoods is good in my book!

characters off the top of my head who I most want to meet: literally any of the Zigvolts, Azul's mom, Ace's brother, Che'nya's grandfather (<- I think he would be a good one for Riddle) (please just any non-terrible adult in his life), any member of Rook's family because I need to see how they managed to produce him, and...really just whoever they can come up with for Silver.

#art #twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland spoilers #tapis rouge #tamashina mina #i think it's just those two #(i am very very sorry about how long it took to reply to this)#but yeah i don't know if everyone is actually doable! i just want to ~believe~#though silver would also have one of the zigvolts honestly #(they are the only reason lilia managed to actually raise him without silver like. falling through a manhole looney tunes style.)#so let's say he gets sebek's mom and sebek gets his dad. just because it would make sebek VERY annoyed.#god i want to meet azul's mom though. everything we know about her makes her sound AMAZING #i want her to feed me lunch and teach me how to take no shit #ANYWAY i do also wonder about vil's mom...#i had been thinking we might learn something about her during tapis rouge. but nope! not a mention.#i guess we did establish that vil either went with eric or was cared for by the house staff when he was traveling #so i dunno! it doesn't necessarily mean anything she might just be a busy lady doing busy things #i just wonder!

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lunarmoontea · 2 months

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How long can Vox and Alastor stay in the same room together?

Answer: Not long.

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lokh · 7 days

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#there is twitter discourse happening.#poll #to be fair the discourse in part appears to be a misunderstanding #of the correlation between how often u wash linens/clothes and how often u change them #because. apparently to some people having more than one set of sheets is unimaginable?????#thats not the question here though #this may vary based on the season? or any other reason #i thought my answer was pretty reasonable but there are ppl on twitter that r like #if ur not doing it every week ur nasty. and genuinely.... u think im gonna go thru the effort #of changing it every fucking week.......#genuinely not here to judge i think theres a lot of factors into when u change sheets #but i refuse to believe people are Actually doing it every week. i want to know the circumstances #i guess if u r sweaty or the weather is really bad or ur fucking every night idk.

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rennenaway · 1 month

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I mean

I'm not wrong?

#francis mosses #thats not my neighbor #tnmn #Kisses for all the artists who draw him as the pathetic middle aged guy he is #Mwah mwah #But like i see this so often #It's mainly the Doppelgänger fanarts who are like crazy yandere-fied #Which idm they're supposed to be that way i think #But like there's so much fanfic with this guy being the absolutes 'alpha male' ever #Which is so funny cause look at him #He just wants to sleep #Also can't believe that these shitposts do better than my actual art

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sonoda-oomers · 18 days

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realizing thistle never actually reached the maturation point for an elf is so. eye opening. especially bc he actually witnessed both delgal's birth and the birth of delgal's son (AND HIS GRANDSON!!). as a human reader it's so easy to be lulled into thinking he's so old and marcille's remark of him being a child came so fast it's so easily forgotten

like i definitely think the golden kingdom and delgal himself never knew let alone be able to perceive thistle as an immature person. bc in their years he's just so old. and i think growing up surrounded with all tallmen also gave thistle false perceptions of how mature he was and it played a part in him taking on the responsibility of rejecting death for the whole kingdom. it's a brilliant and raw display of what age discrepancy actually means in the world of dungeon meshi

#spud.txt #dungeon meshi #(tagging so it's easy to filter but i also want. search attention. sowwy)#i also don't really agree with takes that delgal didn't see thistle as a brother when he grew up. they're really interesting i just #don't want to add it to my repertoir bc their bond means so much 2 me #i also don't want to believe it's a hollow vessel of delgal that thistle's dancing with in the op #look at them doing the spinnies he deserves that much

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grimfantas · 3 months

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under the same umbrella…? to hell with that! if i did that, um, it'd mean…w-we'd practically be like a couple!

#yosuke hanamura #yu narukami #persona 4 #souyo #still doing comms btw.. i believe i cleared everyone who requested me on tumblr anyways but i just wanted to give that update 9_9 #ill erase that tag later since its just a mini updatein da tags #ok bye~~~ i hope ppl are enjoying the p3 remake... i gotta get on it soon but.. im.. tt..tired... and already got locked on p4...#...again #i'll draw some p3 soon ^3^ probably. I WANNA PLAY P2

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