can you give a rundown on the tunashark lore, im new to their kinda possible relationship stuff <3

alright! I will say I am not the best archiver for their lore because I have only joined on the bandwagon 3-4 months ago due to dream thirdwheeling their date nights and I realized "Oh?? what's going on Here??" and kept watching I've put all of the things Ive noted under a readmore forewarning its a LOT also this link has a lot of cute tunashark moments condensed

I am not quiet certain how they started exactly but I know the most notable thing in their history of spending time together is their stardew save, they've been playing stardew since around the start of this year end of last year? and this vod

has a lot of their early relationship condensed, they are friendly, bickery and cute with each other

and then somewhere a long the way of spending 8 hours a day with each other they realllyyy started to be cute and simpy - they really are a reality check for what flirting looks like and how DNF are doing the same exact thing haha

my conversion date was a stream on june 16th that was an mcc?? practice stream I THINK?? where foolish was streaming and hanging out with Tina (of course) and dream joined so of course I hope on stream to listen to dream but dream doesn't say a SINGLY word, awesame and punz were there too but they got thirdwheeled SO hard that they started copium flirting with each other only for tunashark to just crush them

Tina does this thing like dream where she has no filter and just word vomits her thoughts and she went on like 2 separate rants on how amazing and great foolish is (you'll notice this is a constant thing with them btw) and while Tina does tend to do that with her friends....she's never went on about how dry their lips are right afterwards

I remember punz vividly going "uhuh...foolish's dry lips..." at the end of her rant about how awesome foolish is and how dry his lips are

punz btw only joined to get awesam to play a game with him but they stuck around to watch their mating dance, sam tried to make a bit about how punz invited him to a restaurant date so when is their date (the game they were supposed to play) and Tina literally went off on him like "YOU CRASH OUR TIME AT THE RESTAURANT AND YOURE COMPLAINING"

😭😭😭😭

Tina also had another moment in that same stream where she said "I want to work out" and then there was a pause and she said "...foolish works out" SHE IS SO DOWN BAD YOU GUYS

and foolish in all of this? he is LOVING it he is so quiet when it happens because I think he doesn't know what to do but he has the BIGGEST grin on his face

They always stare at each others faces btw which is great they try to hide it of course but when one of them has cam on you can tell when they are staring at each other and here is this cute part of the vod as proof 3:22:0 - 3:24:00

basically in this clip foolish was going to end if he didn't find anything to do, and he was trying to think of things to do because he didn't want to end the stream, he asks Tina if she wants to play stardew but she doesn't answer him presumably because she is afk - he starts pouting and tells everyone in vc to just ignore Tina when she comes back , Tina comes back and is mildly confused for like 3 seconds before she IMMEDIATELY points out that foolish is grinning and how he is a bad actor and he just CRUMBLS in the cutest way possible

just adding more moments that showcase just how much time they spend together, they genuinely are like dream and George with the 10 hour phone calls except we get to see it happening

in the stream this clip is from they cant decide on a game to play and several times Tina thinks about leaving the stream, that's how this conversation even comes up

but then she comes up with a game she wants to play and is very excited to play with friends and its the garfield themed mariokart ripoff with TERRIBLE controls

and the whole chat was going "indulge her pls" "play tina's game" and he is so soft and cute and does exactly that

I think there's many problems in the community. But I feel like 2 in particular are merging quite a bit. So before I begin, this is in no means supporting or condoning the negative actions of others, I'm just thinking out loud basically, trying to understand why it's a problem and what not. The "explains but doesn't excuse route" to help me process things. My heart goes out to everyone who has been a victim of gro*ming.

So I've had a discussion about certain words being thrown around a lot. Words that are used as an insult, a word that triggers people immediately and follows with loads of hate comments and the classic kys.

While there is most certainly predators and p*dos in the community. I think there's a secret third option that doesn't really get talked about a lot- if at all. And that's "well intentioned adults". Adults who got the spirit! But execute in very questionable ways compared to people who are more, for lack of a better word, mature in their experiences.

I think I was one of them to an extent, but had some incidents that made me have to make decisions that would have been difficult in the past with my previous thinking (will explain later). Personally, my blog was open to all. And I hear the sfw doesn't mean safe for minors which is so true. But I still let minors follow my blog and that was a choice I own up to. Up until a couple months ago I was somewhat ok with it. Until things started happening that made me ✨uncomfortable✨. I got 13 year olds following me, minors trying to initiate tickle talk in asks/dms, trying to befriend me in ways that were just not great lmfao (trying to comfort me if I made a vent post, or in turn trauma dumping in the DMs). And this led to a LOT of reflection. I didn't want to have this responsibility so to speak, of taking care of children, who I have no previous relationship (/p) with in an online setting. So I changed my blog to a dnf. That's just me tho, I curated my internet experience to suit me after realizing that what I was doing or rather passively allowing before, made me uncomfortable. I didn't engage in the conversations that were initiated, it made me queasy lmfao.

But for *other* people. This feeling doesn't occur. You can have the extreme of being so delusional and enraptured in your own personal gains/pleasure as a p*do. Or... Be the self appointed teacher, parental figure etc. Which is a lot like gr*oming (actually it is a sign of gr*oming). It's such a complex issue in terms of the way some adults could have a genuine desire to help and not harm/manipulate but there's this disconnect where the adult doesn't recognize the harms they're causing unintentionally.

There are adults who don't mind being the educator because that's what they needed when they were a child. And I get it! They want to help. But! We've seen what can happen. And I think the reason some people are hesitant with the whole it "DEPENDS on the context" is that you're taking away their ability to *help*. But they don't realize by shutting down those conversations *is* helping. There are very few circumstances where a 30 year old should be speaking to a 16 year old about sexual topics. And in an online context, even fewer. There are SO many resources online that people can use to educate themselves, you do not have to be the sole educator for those slipping into your DMs.

From experience, minors are very impressionable and still have a lot to learn when it comes to boundaries. There was this time one of my friends sent an ask teasing me and then I got flooded by people sending in their own teases. Minors unintentionally (giving the benefit of the doubt) making me extremely uncomfortable trying to befriend me through "innocent" tickle talk. There are other instances of minors as I mentioned before trying to comfort me when I'm venting. Very thoughtful of them for reaching out and all but also they're endangering themselves. There are adults who would easily respond to them and because the adult themselves are emotionally not stable in that moment, may explain their worries to someone they realllyyyy shouldn't be sharing experiences with, sexual or not. The adult has the responsibility in this situation, as they hold the most power in the dynamic. So yeah I'm gonna put the blame on the minors. Gonna hold the adults accountable. Because it's absolutely not okay.

I always say while intentions are cool and all it doesn't really matter much. The impact, and what your actions will be after the fact, holds much more weight.

It's so frustrating to see the same old arguments pop up in this particular community. And I've said it once before, at our core, seeing the recent discourse and posts from both parties I can see the want to keep minors safe. However, there are some people who don't see how their perceived innocent actions are actually harmful in the long run. Not only for minors but yourself as well. You deserve to have a community your age as a healthy support system. What's not okay is the waters being muddied under the pretense of helping other people. You can't fix people, and it's really not your job to do so as hard a pill that is to swallow.

I'm losing my train of thought so...

TL;DR. While there are p*dos, there are also adults who mean well but go about it in very wrong/harmful ways, and I hope that eventually (sooner rather than later) they realize the harms they caused and work towards bettering themselves.

I also want to recognize the extreme privilege I have talking about sensitive topics I don't have personal experiences of so if I spoke out of place or said something incorrect please feel free to correct me (if you have the capacity to do so). Thanks for reading.

Okay you know how I was whining about dnf? And boom George streams and oh my god the moments in that stream, it was just magnificent.

I watched the whole 5 hour because the stream was just filled with dnf moments!

When Dream first joined they were just laughing and giggling, a bright smile on George’s face. I see people think George doesn’t like Dream as the way Dream does but, they’re wrong. George’s eyes shine when he starts to talk to Dream, just smiling everytime he opens his mouth. They’re truly adorable.

As the stream continued, the part where they spoke about their weakness was interesting. Bo matter what happenes Dream always speaks so fondly of George, praising his minecraft skills also. Well he’s not wrong George is a well above average minecraft player and insanely good at the bow! Its nice no matter how good Dream himself is, he also sees his friends good and doesn’t forget to praise them!

Also the little moment where Dream asked his weakness and George responded with “me” and we got the “you’re such an idiot”. Just endearing, mr wastaken also didn’t deny it!

Well, I really wasn’t expecting to George flirt with Dream, it also sounded genuine so it surprised me. Sleep deprived George really has no filter and we saw how flirty how he can get, this actually felt like what might be their conversations off stream, because of Dream’s stuttering and lack of a proper answer, he seemed almost flustered to answer back on stream.

Another thing Dream didn’t deny was being called a “simp” by George, he simply went “yeah”. He is finally owning up to his status!

One last thing to point out, after Bad joined, Dream seemed silent and off the conversation other than momentarily joining, I felt the vibed that Dream wanted to spend some alone time chilling with George, considering he might be busy with some stuff. He actually tried to move Bad from the call couple of times lmao, well George also tried till Quackity also joined.

Well aftee Big Q and Bad, Dream only spoke up to either defend himself against Bad or when he had George’s attention on him. We are really seeing jealous Dream at his full huh?

To rap it up, this stream had the two dorks on their first date, feeling awkward at first but warming up and having genuine warm moments as the time passed by vibes and I roll with it.

Definitely one of my favourite dnf streams! -⚜️

Hi! Yes, it was definitely a great dnf stream because it felt so real. 

It really is cute to compare the way George reacts to Dream vs how George reacts to Quackity, for example. Before Dream showed up, Quackity kept flirting with George and George was unbothered. There was a time where Quack said “I’m going to kiss you” and George was like “I wouldn’t like that” in the most monotone way possible, could you imagine if Dream said that to George? He would fall over himself blushing. But you’re right the minute Dream shows up, George is smiling and his eyes are shining. It’s so cute. 

I love how much Dream praises his friends. You can tell he loves them so much and even more than that, he respects them as players and he knows they’re good. George is really good, Dream’s right he just doesn’t care as much as Dream and Sapnap do. 

I agree that I think George is probably more flirty behind the scenes. I think George is charming and a flirt, don’t let this ‘I’m baby’ act fool you, he’s a flirt! Remember the Minx date stream? He was so smooth. But yes, Dream didn’t deny it and also - what do I always say? - Dream stuttering speaks volumes. 

Yes, I noticed that when Bad and then Quackity joined as well. Dream got pretty quiet and seemed like he was enjoy his alone time with Gogy. It was cute that every time George’s attention was back on Dream, Dream would perk up and his voice would get more excited. 

It was very “first date”-esque. George made a comment like “when did you wake up, Dream?” so it seemed like maybe that was their first time speaking that day. Then later on Dream said “the speed-running allegations have been taking up all my time” so if they’ve been distant lately it’s probably because Dream gets hyper-focused (which he confirmed in the stream) on a topic and won’t stop until it’s completed. 

A great dnf stream! I loved it. Very chill, lots of great moments. We need more like it. It really just felt like they were talking off stream, it felt so genuine and I think it was because George was so tired. Anyways, I’m really tired because I stayed up late to watch it but it was so worth it! 

2019 has already ended but here’s a list (+ my unasked for opinions) of all the books I’ve read in 2019 in chronological order, Part 2.

((Disclaimer: this is a shitpost for myself and highly overrun by my emotions — I shall not be held accountable if my opinion is taken seriously. And I know it’s 2020 already, but procrastination is prevalent.))

By the way, here’s part 1, if you’d like.

8. The Dragon Republic

Rin was an absolute mess the entire book and god knows how frustrated I got with the dumb decisions™ she made every step of the way. But the poor girl was going through some shit and she picked it all up at the end, so I’m ready for the third installment, and to finally, see the end of the poppy war. Also, THE THIRD BOOK HAS BEEN NAMED “THE BURNING GOD” and I stan. But generally, book 2 wasn’t very memorable to me, and I don’t remember it very well anymore so it was eh.

Characters: 3/5

Plot: 3.5/5

General feel things factor: 3.5/5

9. An Ember in the Ashes

God, I WAS SO DISAPPOINTED BY THIS BOOK. I almost hate it. I might actually. It’s definitely the book I dislike most of 2019. Ok listen, I’m pretty sure I dislike it because I hadn’t been in the right mindset to read it, and it just ended up not being the kind of book I was looking for in terms of plot and mood. Maybe it was intentional, but everything ended up being really dreary and boring and so underwhelming to me. I didn’t feel anything for the story nor for the characters (whose names I no longer remember). I mostly wanted to follow the first girl’s story rather than the other two characters (even though honestly, I didn’t care for what was happening to her either) so I ended up skimming half of the book and then forcing myself to finish the rest of it. Why didn’t I just DNF it? I don’t know too. I was probably going through some kinda mood.

Characters: 1/5

Plot: 1.5/5

General feel things factor: 1/5

10. To Kill a Kingdom

NOW. I’ve seen some reviews on this, and boy, were they mixed — but let’s ignore them, because here is my significant opinion: it was cute. I think tkak is just a simple, short fantasy-romance that got out a cute couple and was done with it. I loved Lira’s character, idk there was just something about her dryness (hah, even though she’s a siren-) that I really enjoyed. Although I have to say, the main guy character had been rather bland, and I don’t remember his name anymore. But anyway, I liked the first-meeting-girl-slaps-boy-scene. I liked the pirates. I liked the romance. I liked the straight-forwardness. I liked the happy ending. (And after AEITA, this was exactly what I needed.) So 10 points to Alexandra Christo.

Characters: 3.5/5

Plot: 3.5/5

General feel things factor: 3.5/5

11. An Enchantment of Ravens

SO. DAMN. ADORABLE. Some people hate enchantment, some people don’t. I personally absolutely loved it. I found Isobel and Rook so cute together, and everything was just really soft and fluffy. Like tkak, it’s just a short and sweet romance, but it leans more towards the fairytale vibes — and I was vibing. I found both the main characters so whimsical and dramatic and ridiculous and they were just so ENJOYABLE to read about. The plot was simple and to the point and it didn’t meander when it didn’t have to — so I don’t care what anyone has to say, an enchantment of ravens is probably one of my favorite reads in 2019 and I adore it. (And the line “Now stop making me feel things.” is just iconic to me. I mean, please, Rook.)

Characters: 4.5/5

Plot: 4/5

General feel things factor: 4.5/5

12. Graceling

Alright, so this is the book I ended on before I stopped reading, aka stopped ignoring the reality of my exams, to start studying for my exams. I found Po and Katsa cute together and I enjoyed their dynamics, but they got a little boring towards the end. I think their relationship got too mature and serious for me (or maybe exams looming over my head just made me really depressed) so they lost the childish charm about them that had drawn me in in the first place. But that doesn’t change the fact that Katsa is an absolute badass, that the entire scene in the courtyard where they fought is iconic, and that the truth behind Po’s sight at the end made me cry. Wasn’t my favourite, but graceling was enjoyable, which was exactly what I needed to feel satisfied to end on, and not too drawn into a world that I needed another one to replace it after it ended. Thank you Graceling, for saving whatever had been left of my grades.

Characters: 2.5/5

Plot: 3/5

General feel things factor: 3/5

13. The Cruel Prince (& The Wicked King & The Queen Of Nothing)

This is definitely my favourite book (and series) of 2019 and I was ruined by it. I actually had to reread the cruel prince, because the first time I did, I didn’t enjoy it and that didn’t sit right with me — I mean, come on, Holly Black is my queen and there’s no way I’d dislike a 4.2 star book of hers. And boy, was that one of the best decisions I’ve made in 2019. I was so immersed in Jude’s world and everything she was about to face; I rooted for her the whole way. I loved her character so, so much (for once, we get an mc that is actually smart). I loved Cardan so, so much. Honestly, I truly liked all of the characters. And Jurdan? I live for that sh*t. I was completely floored by this trilogy and I. Still. Want. More. (+ The quotes from this series??? Just freaking iconic.)

Characters: 5/5

Plot: 5/5

General feel things factor: 5/5

14. Sorcery of Thorns

Ah, yes, another one of the books I was disappointed by. After An Enchantment of Ravens, I had been so excited to read the second work of Margaret Rogerson, but it wasn’t what I thought it’d be. I really enjoyed it at first, but around the half way point I started to get bored and almost DNFed it. And yes, I am aware that Sorcery is meant to be an epic fantasy and is different from Enchantment, but I just thought that the characters would still have that whimsical, ridiculous flair that had been done so well in Enchantment — but the character building here kind of just fell flat for me. Although there were moments I did enjoy reading about Elisabeth and Nathaniel, I just didn’t really see the chemistry between them and I couldn’t appreciate their interactions and banter much. I felt like Silas was just a cookie-cutter “cold on the outside but warm on the inside” character as well. Okay, I’m being extra harsh on this book because of my crushing disappointment from great expectations, but actually, Sorcery had been a pretty good read that started off well. Although the middle got a little dry, i think it picked itself up again at the end and I felt compelled to finish it. Plus, Silas’ moment made me tear up even when I hadn’t expected myself to, so, that’s always a bonus.

Characters: 3/5

Plot: 3/5

General feel things factor: 3/5

15. The Gentleman’s Guide to Vice and Virtue

So whimsical. So funny. So light-hearted — yet it had the surprise punch-you-in-the-gut feels. I spent a good deal of time laughing over Henry’s antics (when he ran naked around Versailles???? Oh my god, what are you doing, Henry?) and his efforts at trying to be a decent human-being. It was honestly, a very heart-felt and romantic story, which really has me torn up because how does Mackenzi Lee weave in so many heavy, important themes like abuse, trauma, racial and sexual discrimination and mental illness, and still make it such a light-hearted story — that was done well? (And lets not forget how she’s also managed to include some serious Fullmetal Alchemist vibes in there complete with murders and violins and pirates. Geez.) She’s a genius that’s how. The number of times I’ve almost cried, but was saved by Henry’s comments is just- ugh. If there’s any book I’d recommend just for being a damn good book, it’d be this one because, wow, was it good.

Characters: 4.5/5

Plot: 4/5

General feel things factor: 4.5/5

16. Carry On

We have now reached my final book of 2019: it was an absolute delight and one of my favourites. I just loved the characters, like they were so enjoyable to read about. I mean, I felt like Simon had a stick up his ass for a good portion of the beginning, but he softened up later on and my god, Baz. I loved his character so much. And the pining? HELL YES. And then, of course, his refusal to admit that he was pining to anyone else but himself. Simon and Baz were just extremely shippable, and I was ready to gobble up whatever I could of their romance. So fluffy, so ridiculous. Rainbow Rowell also made good use of the switching POVs. I normally dislike it when author’s switch the perspectives because it tells a side of the story that I really don’t care for (ahem, an ember in the ashes...) but Rowell did it so damn well. Even Agatha’s pov was enjoyable. She provided a different perspective on things compared to the other characters and I actually really liked her “I don’t want to have anything to do with this bullshit” take on things. It was fresh, and funny, even if she was being an ass half the time. So, Carry On? It’s a yes from me.

Characters: 4/5

Plot: 3/5

General feel things factor: 4/5

And finally, my 3 DNFs, in which I will rant about them just a little:

1) Wicked Fox

Didn’t like the writing style. Normally I don’t notice writing styles much because I’m just not that good with the technicalities, but Wicked Fox’s bothered me and I just couldn’t enjoy it. Also, I wasn’t in the mood to be patient, so I just decided to drop it.

2) Serpent & Dove

I actually really liked the beginning, but I think I wasn’t in the right headspace and I started to get bored by it, so I stopped reading. I’ll probably pick it up again in the future when I’m in the mood for it though :)

3) Throne or Glass

My god. I picked this up purely as tribute for Feysand — which, I guiltily admit, I really enjoyed — but- I- I couldn’t get past the first five chapters of tog. Putting aside the writing style (Why! Are! There! So! Many! Exclamation! Marks!), I didn’t feel anything for any of the characters, and any of the scenes. I don’t know what it is, but everything just felt so disconnected from me, and I had an inkling that I wasn’t going to care about what happened to the mc, or what happened with her and the other two (who I presume are) love interests because even on first impression, and a little past that, both seemed so bland to me. Sigh.

That’s it for the list; if you’re still here, good on you.

YEAR-IN-BOOKS | 2019

So. Last year I read 89 books. The year before that I read 39. The year before that I read 23. This year I have (thus far) read 110 books out of my goal of 100 and will likely finish both The Secret Commonwealth and The Library of the Unwritten before the end of the year. I may even finish another depending on which audiobook I go for next. So I’m gonna talk a lot. Again.

1. a book you loved?

Again, I read a lot of books this year. It was a great year for books. I discovered Brandon Sanderson, which has been amazing. I reread at least two different favorite series, some graphic novels, a few books that would ordinarily be outside of my typical genre. But I’m going to pick Red, White, & Royal Blue, which was probably the one I loved the most. Casey McQuiston, for those of you who weren’t in The Social Network fandom, wrote a really fantastic RPF in like 2011 or so. It was gorgeous and while I’m sad that it was never finished, I can still appreciate the crap out of it. RWARB is a story about the son of America’s first female president falling for the Prince of Wales. It is everything I loved about fics like The Student Prince and Drastically Redefining Protocol and more. It’s best universe 100% and I will probably be rereading it within the next few months because I loved it to pieces. Also, it won both best romance and best debut novel on goodreads by a pretty large margin, which is amazing! 

2. a book you hated?

I think the only book that I absolutely hated this year was The Gunslinger. Which sucks because a lot of people recommended that one pretty highly, but I either reluctantly enjoy Stephen King’s books or I outright loathe them. My review, directly from goodreads, with a rare one star rating:  

“Thing number 1: same guy who did the audiobook recording for The Stand did this one as well. Bad enough. Thing number 2: I forgot how badly Stephen King writes women. I got to listen to this narrator read a scene where a woman has an orgasm because the main character is exorcising a lust demon out of her by shoving a gun into her unmentionables, and then I got to hear someone described as "falling whorishly." DNF at 75%. Sorry. I just could not do it. Falling whorishly was the straw that broke the camel's back.”

3. a book that made you cry?

I definitely cried when I finished The Hero of Ages, which is the third of the original Mistborn trilogy by Sanderson. Without spoiling things... I was definitely crying by the end of it. Might have been crying at the end of the first in the series too. The only other ones I can think of that may have made me sniffle are Everything I Never Told You and To Be Taught, If Fortunate. 

The first because it’s a wonderfully crafted little tale about a family getting torn apart when their daughter dies tragically. The whole thing is pulled wonderfully taut with tension, and each of the character’s snippets into Lydia’s life before her death leads you to more and more discoveries until finally everything comes together seamlessly in the end.

The second because it is a little, little book about a big, big universe and is just so achingly beautiful and big inside that it hurts.

4. a book that made you happy?

I mean, I’m tempted to Red, White, and Royal Blue again because it is 100% the one that made me happiest. I was grinning like an idiot half the time I was reading it. But, because answering the same book for two questions seems cheap when I’ve read over 100, so I’m gonna go with King of Scars, which is the sequel to the sequel of the original Grisha trilogy by Leigh Bardugo. It took the best things about the original series and combined it with the best parts of Six of Crows and left me with a super riveting, fun read.

5. the best sequel?

Gah, I read so many series this year, so this is kind of hard. I have two answers!

The Well of Ascension, which was the second of the Mistborn novels and probably my favorite and The Lady’s Guide to Petticoats and Piracy, which in my humble opinion was leagues better than The Gentleman’s Guide to Vice and Virtue. Not that it was bad, I’m just starved for stories about smart sexy ladies who become pirates and flirt with other pretty pirate ladies.

6. most anticipated release for the new year?

Return of the Thief by Megan Whalen Turner is still my answer to this one. The release date got pushed back to August of next year instead of March of this one, so provided it doesn’t get pushed back again - that is 100% my answer. Some others I’m excited about: The Nobleman’s Guide to Scandal and Shipwrecks, which I found out about two minutes ago, the as yet untitled Stormlight Archive #4 which is apparently coming out in November next year, and like six books that don’t have release dates yet so probably won’t come out until 2021. Oh, oh, oh, and The King of Crows, the fourth in The Diviners series, which I forgot was coming out in February!

7. favorite new author?

Easily Brandon Sanderson. Most of my other favorites that I really loved were all authors I’ve read before. Sanderson was my Rothfuss of 2019. Discovering his books changed my whole damn year.

8. favorite book to film adaptation?

I didn’t reread the series this year, but HBO put out their adaptation of His Dark Materials and it has been absolutely amazing so far! I’m blown away by every single episode and can only hope that the second and third seasons will be this good.

9. the most surprising book?

Okay, so there’s this book that I picked up randomly at the library because I liked its cover. It’s called The Hundred-Foot Journey by Richard Morais and it’s about an Indian boy who grows up to become a world famous chef. It’s so, so rich. The detail is wonderful. You can taste the food, feel the sun, be a stranger in a market somewhere in France. It was a true delight of a book and definitely one of my favorites. 

10. the most interesting villain?

I read Codename Villanelle shortly after I got into the TV show, and it was actually a surprisingly good book. She’s a great villain. However, I also read Forest of a Thousand Lanterns, which you don’t even realize is about the evil queen until you’re like halfway through the book. That one was really, really well done and I need to get around to reading its sequel.

11. the best makeouts?

I’m tempted to say Chilling Effect because there’s just something about a sassy space pirate making out with her alien crew member whose skin can make her go into anaphylactic  shock that really appeals to the part of me that shipped Sheppard/Garrus from Mass Effect, but there were two really steamy ones in The Hating Game (elevators) and Ninth House (slightly dubcon-y bit because one character is drugged, but super searing anyway?). 

Also the bit in Red, White and Royal Blue where they make out against a painting of Hamilton in the White House will probably get me every time.

12. a book that was super frustrating?

Again, But Better was a pretty decent book over all. But there were slightly too many pop culture references and listening to an audiobook where the characters are signing along to Blink 182 along with several other songs was a little cringey because the narrator did not actually sing, just kind of singsongy shouted. It was weird.

The Alchemist was also really slow going for such a short book but was over all pretty good.

13. a book you texted about, and the text was IN CAPSLOCK?

I have no real life friends who really read and it is fucking tragic, so the closest I got was recommending a bunch of books to my mom and going off on tangents about how good they were. I think I might have ranted to Nick about a couple of them too.

14. a book for the small children in your life?

I reread The Bartimaeus trilogy again this year and it’s a kid’s book series that I would recommend to literally anybody because it might be my favorite series ever? I also read Lockwood & Co, a kid’s series by the same author who did Bartimaeus, which was fantastic because I didn’t even know he’d written anything since Bartimaeus? It didn’t quite compare, mostly because I adore Bartimaeus way too much, but was still highly entertaining. Spooky kid detectives hunt ghosts! 

15. a book you learned from?

While I did not read a single non-fiction book this year (again, whoops), a lot of books are informative even if they’re fiction. Hell, I learned more about cooking from The Hundred Foot Journey than I have in any cookbook out there.

16. a book you wouldn’t normally try?

Maybe Challenger Deep? I’ve been branching out more, so it’s getting harder and harder to tell which books I wouldn’t normally try. I did read like three exclusively romance novels this year, which was a bit odd for me.

17. a book with something magical in it?

I still say all books are magical. And definitely a lot of the books I read were magical, but probably the one with the most magic was The Starless Sea by Erin Morgenstern, which was a meticulously crafted love letter to all stories and fairy tales. It was really magical and definitely lived up to The Night Circus. If she keeps up like this, I won’t even mind the decade between publications, because she has a hell of a way with words.

18. the best clothes?

Maybe either The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo (the descriptions of her gorgeous silky green dresses made me deeply envious) or Three Dark Crowns (which had neat food and clothes from what I remember)

19. the most well-rounded characters?

All of Sanderson’s stuff has great characters, but Everything I Never Told You is still probably the one with the best. Celeste Ng is really, really good at making you feel each of her characters down to their marrow.

20. the best world-building?

To Be Taught, If Fortunate was very much wow when it comes to the world building. But so was Ninth Gate and The Alloy Era of the Mistborn novels (sequel series to the original series that takes place hundreds of years after the first series). I also read Saga this year, a graphic novel series about a man and his wife on the run from their governments with their baby daughter because their species are in a long standing war and nobody wants anybody to know that they can procreate. That has some fantastic world building.

21. the worst world-building?

Maybe What If It’s Us? I found that one largely boring.

22. a book with a good sidekick?

Definitely any of the Alloy of Law books. Wayne is a wonderful sidekick and all of the other “side characters” in that series are fantastic.

23. the most insufferable narrator?

Ugh, the Gunslinger. Both the character in the book and the person who narrated the audiobook.

24. a book you were excited to read for months beforehand?

I think the only ones I was really excited for head of time were the two Folk of Air sequels by Holly Black and The Starless Sea. I still need to read Call Down the Hawk, and I’m currently reading The Secret Commonwealth, the sequel to His Dark Materials which I’ve been excited about since I learned that it would be a thing.

25. a book you picked up on a whim?

You already know about The Hundred Foot Journey. We Are Where the Nightmares Go and The Monster of Elendhaven were also both randoms that I picked up during the Halloween season that I really enjoyed.

26. a book that should be read in a foreign country?

The Hundred Foot Journey. 100%

27. a book cassian andor would like?

I still don’t know what to make of this question.

28. a book gina linetti would like?

Probably any of the steamy ones? I honestly don’t know.

29. your favorite cover art?

Probably The Ten Thousand Doors of January. It’s very pretty and flowery and the book itself is fantastic. I also really like the cover of David Mogo, Godhunter.

30. a book you read in translation?

I think The Alchemist was the only book I read that was translated from another language.

31. a book from another century?

Ha! North and South was first published in 1854. Other than that the oldest ones I’ve got were written in the 80s (Shards of Honor, Ender’s Game, and The Alchemist) or the 50s (The Two Towers).

32. a book you reread?

This year I reread the Bartimaeus Trilogy, the Temeraire novels (and then finished the last two I hadn’t read yet), Sabriel, and The King of Attolia.

33. a book you’re dying to talk about, and why?

I have clearly talked enough at this point. I think the only one that I loved that I didn’t get a chance to talk about already was Horrorstor, which is a book about haunted Ikea (basically). It’s fantastic and hilarious and spooky and now that I think about it Gina Linetti would probably like it. Oh, and The Bear and the Nightingale trilogy, which was a retelling of an old Russian tale. It was great. 

TLDR; Read Sanderson’s books, Leigh Bardugo’s books, and whatever Casey McQuiston writes for the next 30 years.

2019 T.v. show Tracker

Part 2

Animes

Mo Dao Zu Shi

Finished it. Read the novel. Checking out the Cdrama (The Untamed). Obsessed. Watch it, it’s worth it. 

Currently watching season two! Jing Ling is so precious and all the chibis are SO CUTE!

Dororo

In progress (~episode 20) - Love it so far! Excited to see where it goes!

Update: Dororo was always precious but I just appreciate this child more and more as the episodes continue. I really enjoyed the lighter episode with the opposite village and the swordsmaster. Also, I am glad that Itachi finally died... but tbh I can’t hate him. Dororo is soo forgiving, my precious child. 

Edit: Completed. Enjoyed the story and the way that it was wrapped up.

My Roommate is a Cat

Completed - Loved it! Super cute, fluffy and touching. Fun to watch! Really enjoyed the show and REALLY want more! Please make a season 2!!

Fruits Basket 2019

It’s definitely doing its job of hitting the heartstrings true to Fruits Basket lore (I loved the manga). That opening (1) tho is so depressing really setting the mood for the show I guess... I’m excited for more and aware of the pain that is yet to come. But I am excited (and hopeful) to see them do justice to the plot this time. Update: s1 is almost over and I really enjoyed it! 

One Punch Man

Loved it!! Finished season one! It was way too short... Will watch season two when all the episodes come out! I actually found the show to have a lot of parallels with The Disastrous Life of Saiki which could be the reason that I enjoyed it so much. I really don’t know how all the fans who watched it when it was first released could have waited so long for season two.

Ruroni Kenshin

Randomly started it cuz I was planning on watching it for a while and it was on Netflix so I thought - why not. Liking it so far but I haven’t gotten very far yet so it’s hard to form an opinion atm.

Dramas

Bad Guys

Completed - Good Binge. 

It was very addicting, very interesting premise that captured my attention initially. It’s a good binge, but around episode 10 the show, the show sort of fizzled out for me. The hitman’s storyline (Jung woo) was a bit too melodramatic for my taste and was a bit off-putting, however I absolutely loved the psychopath’s story. That definitely kept me hooked throughout. One huge plus of this show is the action, and it is a lot of fun to watch if you don’t think about the show too much.

Gibo to Musume no Blues

Completed - Loved it!  I’d highly recommend it!

This show was so adorable and so sweet and fun to watch from start to finish. I really enjoyed this slice of life and the warm stepmother and stepdaughter relationship throughout the show. It was very heartwarming to watch. I loved how all the characters were treated with respect and didn’t seem like hollow caricatures, I liked the relationships portrayed in the show and the general warmth that this show had throughout.

I am still not over what happened to Ryoichi :( , but I can say that I absolutely loved every single character in this show. The baker definitely grew on me more and more throughout the later half of the show and he became very lovable. Overall, this was a great drama that I am glad I checked out!

Children of Nobody/ Red Moon Blue Sun

Completed - Loved it! 15/10 would recommend!

This drama was really really gripping. I like how the story didn’t feel very formulaic, and I admit I was quite unsure what was going on in the first 2 or so episodes. But once the plot line was set in motion, I was along for the ride. One huge reason for that is probably the main character Cha Woo Kyung, she won me over very quickly and her backstory was very intriguing. I also really like Yi Kyung’s character as well as his team, though it did take me a while to warm up to him. The children all did a phenomenal job as well - I especially like Ha Na and Si Wan’s acting.Si Wan is another huge factor that kept me watching, the child actor did a great job!

One thing I definitely appreciated with this show was how morally grey all the characters were, it made them more relatable. If I were to compare it to similar mystery/crime kdrama’s I’ve seen, I think so far this would rank the highest - the plot was engaging, the characters were interesting, there was absolutely ZERO focus on developing a romantic relationship and the topic - abuse (child primarily) was handled well.

Her Private Life

Really loving Ryan Gold so far!! He’s actually super considerate and kind? Love it! Quite like the female lead as well. Love her relationship with her best friend, they are absolutely adorable! Not too happy about what I heard about the Eun Gi thing where they did the Reply staple of making the viewers assume that he’s her brother only to find out he’s interested in her romantically and that they aren’t blood-related... why is this trope so popular? This reminds me a lot so far of Reply 1997. 

Update: show is moving on in a very cliche way... extremely predictable so far. Will maybe stick w it bc I love Ryan’s character and the couple are adorable. TBH I didn’t start this for the plot. Another gripe that I have is just why do kdramas always do the thing where the main couple are meant to be and met during their childhood? I don’t get why that’s so popular... But I do respect the fact that Ryan’s real mom did not abandon him and that arc was resolved quickly.

Overall, it was better than a lot of other dramas in this genre and it was done with much less unnecessary drama. I appreciated how the side characters were handled and liked that they were given time to have their own sub-plots. A decent show all in all.

The Fiery Priest

Loved it! I like the mix of the action and comedy that was showcased in the show. I found this show to be very similar in the plot structure, comedy (to an extent) and characterizations to Chief Kim so I enjoyed the show a lot and had a pretty good idea of what to expect from the show. It’s a fun show that keeps you hooked for more, and like Chief Kim don’t expect any romance between characters to really develop.

Angel’s Last Mission: Love

Shin Hye Sun is just gorgeous, omg. She’s also a really good actress. I really liked seeing her in this role coming out of watching Still 17 to see the sheer difference in personality. I am enjoying the contrast. Also, I like her chemistry with Myungsoo. I don’t care for the second lead nor can I bring myself to empathize with him. I also am somewhat disappointed with her family sub-plot because so far it seems pretty cliche so I’m hoping for a plot twist or two. 

DNF. 

Project S The Series: Spike

I FINALLY finished it! Really loved it. Great acting, loved the pace of the show and how realistic it felt. I really liked watching the team come together and grow together. The few female characters were a delight - Jern is so lovable and adorable. Bright is very sweet and does a lot for the team. Puen’s relationship with the entire team was interesting to see - his strong bond with Singha and now Than, his relationship with Jern and ofc his friends. Than’s relationship with his dad was also portrayed realistically right til the end. It’s a good watch, and I’ll definitely re-watch the series. 

Ao to Boku

So addicting, waiting for the last episode to be subbed. Please get subbed!

Update: it was subbed! Finished it! Enjoyed the drama overall. A nice mystery/friendship/slice-of-life one. Be warned that although there is a bit of mystery it is mainly a slice-of-life/friendship drama.

The Untamed

I enjoyed it overall (tho I did end up skipping over some episodes). I thought that it was a faithful adaptation to the novel considering the censorship issues. I love how they took out a lot of the explicit gay but still somehow made parts of the show gayer. Also I LOVE fairy. Fairy is an adorable fluffball that owns my heart <3.

DNF - He is Psychometric

Melo Suits Me/ Be Melodramatic

So... they really made one of the cutest love stories tragic huh. I’m really enjoying the show so far, I love the friendship between the main 4 leads. I am interested about the industry and I like the balance that the drama has with its humour, friendship, love and slice-of-life elements. I really like the actress and her manager couple they are so cute! I kind of wish I have more cute mother-son moments with the kid so hopefully in a future episode.

Update: Finished it! Liked the ending overall, had one minor qualm. I really liked the Director (Yeller) that was introduced. He was an unexpected delight and I love his dynamic with Eun Jung. I did like that they did end up subverting a romantic relationship and left it platonic. That was unexpected.

T.v. shows

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Season 6 - Finally finished it! Lot of fun, and enjoyed watching yet another season of the show. I really enjoyed their Cinco de Mayo heist this year and thought that was a lot of fun. I personally didn’t really feel Gina’s absence too much though her going away words were cute near the beginning of the season.

Broadchurch

Completed - Completely binged season 3! I love this show! 

I forgot how beautiful the cinematography in the show was! Their little village is gorgeous. It’s a bit jarring to watch it after a year or so because my memory of season 2 of Broadchurch was quite hazy. Nevertheless, I absolutely love this show. This season was very different from the previous ones, and it had a good build up but the final reveal of the culprit was quite... predictable. However, there was a twist that came with the reveal that came completely out of the blue. I liked the way Alec/D.I Hardy and Ellie handled the issue at hand and set an example of how cases of rape should be handled within the police force. It was also really nice to see Beth’s growth, the vicar and what Maggie were up to! I also enjoyed seeing Alec and his daughter’s relationship grow. Too bad its cancelled... here’s hoping that one day they’ll renew it. 

Stranger Things season 3

I personally liked it a lot more than season two because I felt that it had more growth from the characters. I liked Eleven’s character growth and how the dynamic of the relationships changed and seeing the kids grow up. But, I’m definitely getting a bit tired of this show... because although I did enjoy this season, I still feel that in a way it was redundant.

Derry Girls s2

I loved it! So funny. So adorable. Love the characters and the ridiculous situations that they put themselves in (or are put in). Sister Michael is still my fave, her lines are always pure gold.

Anne with an E season 3

Trying to keep track of it as it is airing on CBC. I missed the second episode :( But I watched episode 3 and the foreshadowing for the residential schools omg

Games of the Year 2021!

Games of the Year 2021

I've decided to do this a bit out of the ordinary. Rather than compile the lists separately I'm combining the pre-2021 games with the ones from 2021 that I liked. I also agonized about whether to count a couple of the entrants as GOTY contenders since they're in early access. In the past though I have counted demos for games I played as GOTYs so I decided what the hell let's get nuts with it and include some. Perhaps 2022 will have enough games to actually do a proper top ten list, but I didn't finish many games from this year for it to be advisable. That's not for lack of trying I played a healthy amount of games from this year. Anyway, on with the show!

11: HROT

I've been enjoying the resurgence of the boomer shooter. Admittedly I'm a bit behind when it comes to playing them, I think this stems from me playing more RPGs and other genres than when I used to be all about the shooters. HROT though I played the available episode and I liked it quite a lot. It's set in an alternate version of 1980s Czechoslovakia where some unspecified disaster occurred making a bunch of monster men who you need to gun down. I don't recall if there's much of a story in this game if I'm being honest, but the actual gunplay is really fun so I'm willing to give my perceived lack of a story a pass. It feels a bit slower paced compared to other boomer shooters like Ultrakill or Amid Evil, but it's still a great time, and I eagerly await the rest of the episodes.

10: Guilty Gear Strive

I fully intended on not buying this game. It looked good sure, but I know how it goes with fighting games. I play them really hard for about a good two or three weeks and  then I get outclassed by people who really live fighting games then I hardly ever play it again. Happens all the time. But then I played an absurd amount of Strive and I love it. I plan on actually sticking with this game even if I play a character who's not the best. Despite all the salt and scrubiness I've seen about him Nagoryuki probably isn't the best character in the game, but my god I love playing as him. I'm aware that there is a story mode, but I wouldn't know anything about that I've just been doing online matches during my time with the game. I really want to get back into this game, because I find it to be a ton of fun (he said while knowing DNF Duel is on the horizon and looks amazing).

09: Monster Hunter Rise

I don't really have much to say about it. It's Monster Hunter, you should know what you're getting. I keep thinking about going back to play Rise because I do like the game a lot. I just can never really make the plunge. Maybe it's because the PC port is just right around the corner, who's to say. I don't particularly like the final boss monsters, and the gimmick hunts where you fight a bunch of the monsters in the pseudo tower defense mode is kind of lame. But it does offer the new skills with all of the weapons and those are great. I particularly love the jumping to plunging attack with the switch-axe. Even though it may not look like I have much to say I assure you I did indeed love this game a lot. I just think perhaps my hundreds of hours in World and GenUlt up until release of Rise might have dampened my enthusiasm a bit. Which is what I would say if I didn't rack up nearly a hundred hours into the game within a month of release. I'm quite excited for the expansion that's coming out in the summer, as well as the PC release, in a couple weeks.  Something about this game still has the absolute power to just sucker me in for another ten plus hours of playing it, at least for a while.

08: Amid Evil

For years I've been clamoring for someone, anyone to make a new version of  Hexen. For a brief period of time it looked like Techland was going to make a game to sate my desires, but sadly Hellraid got quietly killed and it became a DLC for Dying Light. Little did I know that Indefatigable had heard my whines and had made a game that is everything I was hoping for (I have not played Hexen since I was a kid). This game is simply the bee's knees. I love this game, it does so much that I think is simply the tops. The way the game plays is superb, with every weapon feeling positively fantastic to use. Even the standard axe is a joy to use despite being a weapon I hardly used and only in the direst of circumstances. The game is gorgeous to boot, I particularly love the episode where almost every enemy is a crystalline monster. It is positively thrilling to shoot enemies with a small weaponized version of a planet and just watch it explode against  them.

07: Demon's Souls

This is honestly the weakest of From Soft's Soulsborne offerings, but I think that stems from the fact it was the first Souls game. Also at the time when I played the PS3 original I played it after I had gone through Dark Souls 1, 2, and Bloodborne first. So it wasn't exactly a fair comparison. The PS5 version done by Bluepoint did upgrade the graphics of Demon's Souls but this is very much a warts and all remake. Which is fine, because even at their worst I find the Soulsborne games a delight to play, this is also certainly the easiest of the Souls games but again I think this is because of the aforementioned warts and all remake of Demon's Souls thing. I'm certain that if you're not used to stamina action games you'll probably be thrown for a loop over the difficulty. That said I sunk a ridiculous amount of time into this having run through the game through the base game and two new game pluses.

06: Darkest Dungeon II

I freely admit that I never actually got particularly far in the original Darkest Dungeon. It's a fun game to be sure, but for whatever reason I just never finished the game. I adore the aesthetic however, and when I saw the launch trailer for the Early Access release of DD2 I just had to get it. Granted it's only the first chapter right now, but what's there is a ton of fun to play through. Depending on how your individual runs go I'd wager it'll take quite some time to go through everything the current release has on offer. Even though it doesn't control super well I quite like the carriage traversal it adds a nice helping of desperation to the adventure.

05: Resident Evil Village

Despite being somewhat let down by this game I still loved it immensely. One of the problems I have with the game that I think might be just a semantics thing is I don't like how long the opening of the game takes before you can actually play the game. For the first ten to fifteen minutes it is all atmosphere building and it is certainly effective on the first playthrough. But for any playthrough after that initial playthrough it's a bit of a schlep. That said the combat in this game is delightful even when the game takes a turn for the absurd towards the end. I was gripped for a good ninety-five percent of the game, even though there were certain aspects that didn't land at all for me. I like that mercenaries mode is back as a mode that comes with the game and not as a separate DLC. It's a very enjoyable game, and an excellent piece of evidence that a RE4 remake will probably be just fine, and totally totally in development. I love how this game awoke in so many people their fetish for tall women. Hell for the most part the bosses are great, except for one because it's not much of a fight and more of a "puzzle." This particular entry feels like the series might be backsliding into its more goofy side of things. It definitely is on the Resident Evil 4 side of things where the game is not afraid to indulge in sillier plot threads compared to some of the more straitlaced entries. It does make me wonder though if every new entry in the mainline series will keep being first person or if it'll go back into its former third-person existence. Also I find it somewhat gratifying to know if I'm ever in peril of freezing to death I just have to run the game on my PC for a few minutes and then I'll be warm for the next few hours.

04: Yakuza Like A Dragon

This was without a doubt one of the single best RPGs I played in all of 2021. Admittedly my playthrough was spread between the tail end of 2020 and the first month or so of 2021. Gameplay wise the combat feels like a really good melding of the older Yakuza games beat-em-up action and turn based systems. Something that always blows me away about the Yakuza series is that it's fundamentally a yearly franchise but every single entry always has a very strong story. They never feel like they skimp on content or that it feels overdone. I like how the combat system isn't just the typical choose an action from the menu and it does it, it also uses both timed button presses and some light mashing as well. It keeps you involved than a purely passive combat system I think. I love the inclusion of the job system in the game even if some of the jobs are not well suited to every character it's a fun addition even if it feels like kind of a waste with the latter members of your party. While I feel the storyline is very well done throughout it does take a slight bit of a dip towards the last few chapters when it pumps the brakes and forces you to go do some of the side activities for a bit. It was never a deal breaker though, but perhaps the game could have more smoothly and transitioned into making sure you were appropriately leveled up instead of just making you slam into a brick wall. Despite a couple fumbles in the final hours of the game I did think it was simply superb from beginning to end. I can't wait to see what they do with this cast in future installments. Zhao is best boy.

03: Shin Megami Tensei V

Like so many others I began to worry about whether or not this entry would ever even see the light of day. So much time had passed since Shin Megami Tensei IV, and Atlus has been seeing it rain money with Persona 5 and its sequels/remasters. So it seemed oddly quiet about the fate of the fifth entry  of the parent series. Sure there'd been Apocalypse, but what about V? Announced four years ago with the 3DS remake of Strange Journey and then nothing but radio silence. Then it came out, and to defy tradition it came out within a day of the Japanese release instead of a year later, as seemed the norm for Atlus. I admit that for the first few hours I was waffling a bit on this game. It only seemed fine, not good, not bad, fine, simply alright to play, I'm willing to suggest this might be because the game runs somewhat poorly on the very system it was specifically made for. Or maybe the story simply didn't have the strong hooks IV, or IV Apocalypse had. Never the less I persevered, and I'm really glad I did because this was far and away the best game released in 2021 I could have played. While initially the story was a bit thin as it progressed I was getting more and more into it. It has its issues to be sure but I really love where the story wound up going towards the end. It also features an absolutely stunning and realistic result that you never really see in games like these. A scene where the protagonist acts like a regular person would and does some sensible actions. The press-turn combat is back in all of its full glory to keep you on your toes even though this particular entry seems a bit easier compared to some of the recent Megaten/Persona offerings in my opinion. While it was never a stroll down easy street just stomping foes left, right, and center it also never really erected a major difficulty spike neither. Whenever a boss fight, or any of the late game fights became a drag it was only ever because they were a bit spongy and just took some extra time to kill due to low damage. The only real exceptions are the endgame bosses, the optional super boss, and the DLC fight against the Demifiend from SMT Nocturne. The real star of the show in my eyes though is the absolutely stellar music in this game. Jam packed with some of the absolute best battle themes I've heard in games in recent memory it really stands out as a real delight in an already terrific game. According to the in-game timer and my switchs' timer the first play through of the game took roughly ninety hours. Which is incredibly surprising because the game doesn't really feel its length, granted there are absolutely times where it does feel like it's dragging a bit, particularly when you hit the Shin Megami Tensei dungeon, but this was an absolutely wonderful game to play. I desparately hope the rumors about the leak are true and this game gets ported to PS4 and PC because I feel it would be just that little bit better if it was on a system that could run it properly.

02: Leisure Suit Larry: Wet Dreams Don't Dry/Wet Dreams Dry Twice

I freely admit to not being interested in the Leisure Suit Larry games. I've been aware of their existence for a good chunk of my life, particularly it was the first reboot that put his nephew in college that I was chiefly aware of. Then eventually I learned about the original series, but it never really grabbed me. My understanding of the series was that it was just a dumb boner comedy series, I wasn't like morally opposed to the series, it just wasn't something I was interested in. I can't really say what it was that inspired me to try Wet Dreams Don't Dry, only that something convinced me to give it a whirl and I'm really glad I did. While it's not riproaringly funny from start to finish I found an appreciation for the tone and the jokes of the game. It also had a nice sense of escalation where none of it really felt out of left field or overly ridiculous. The puzzles for the most part are relatively sensible, the only ones that really stand out in the first game as particularly egregious are the rat in the condom, and the navigation puzzle. The reason I have both games listed here is because I played them in very close succession so they really stand out as a particularly strong singular unit rather than separate entities. The writing is much more improved overall in Wet Dreams Dry Twice, and I generally like the characters it introduces than the ones in Wet Dreams Don't Dry. The villain is a bit worse than the first entry, but with that one exception the cast in Wet Dreams Dry Twice feel much better. One of the other things that makes me think of the pair as just one game is that in the menu for Wet Dreams Don't Dry there is a very nice section that leads directly into Wet Dreams Dry Twice and help introduce some plot threads that come up in the sequel. The only real negative I have toward Wet Dreams Dry Twice is a very sudden and rather poor Flappy Bird section. It's not as bad as it could be because the game offers you the choice to just skip the section entirely. Also the sequel stands out as better than the first of this reboot series because it has actual nudity in some of its cutscenes which I think is simply grand.

01: Frostpunk

Before I started playing this game I had the wrong perception that this was yet another survival/crafting games that are so popular these days. Then I learned it was a city builder game and that sort of torpedoed any interest I really felt for the game. They're not my thing, then I decided at some point to give it a try, an ad I'd seen for the sequel convinced me to give it a shot. I positively love this game. There's something very cathartic to trying to steward my ungrateful band of survivors to survive the frozen hellscape that keep roping me back in time after time, failure after failure. Something about the game just scratches an itch I didn't know I had within me because despite the frustration I feel when things inevitably go pear-shaped with my frozen colony it just keeps pulling me back. I have figured one almost constant route to almost victory involves using the corpses of my dead citizens rather than just planting them in the ground. Which sounds positively ghoulish, and it is, but for some reason I get a lot further along without raising to much discontent or losing hope when I make the decision to harvest the dead for organs than let people just bury the dead. Also religious zealotry seems to make people more accepting of my reign than trying to just be a guy who uses "justice" to guide my regime. This is just the main game as well! I haven't even touched the expansions that have come out even though they sound absolutely wonderful. I fully expected to bounce off this game super hard when I started playing it, instead it absorbed me completely and utterly. It's very oddly gratifying seeing your city rise from nothing and become a super efficient bastion in the frozen hell that is the world. The joy I experience when juggling the demands and tribulations of my ungrateful bastard citizens while trying to ensure my exploration teams don't die exploring the wastes and find giant working mechs from before the fall is one I never would've felt if I hadn't taken a risk on a genre I normally don't care for. Even when it all falls to pieces and same aforementioned ungrateful bastards decide to exile me from the city scant hours until negative hundred degree weather hits it just inspires me to try that much harder. It is just an absolute gem of a game and it is always a great time to spend even one short hour messing around in it. Plus it's available on consoles and it surprisingly doesn't run terrible on there even if the controls take some getting used to. I love this game so much.

Carlos is overrated. People say ~but Charles ahould be doing sooo much better~ are expecting him to beat the laws of physics because at some point it's just not possible to be faster. Who is to say he isn't getting the absolute most of the car? Only Ferrari know that. And Carlos has done a good job but at the end of the day he's an unremarkable driver, gets the job done but has no ~star quality that others Lewis, Alonso, Seb have/have had, no great moves, no ambition, it's all safe and boring1/2

//

I honestly agree, like I don’t think people understand how much Charles has worked with Ferrari and stayed with them even in 2020 wasn’t he even approached by RB or something. Like yes Carlos has adapted well and is a solid points scorer, but you are comparing a 27 year old driver with loads of experience with a younger Charles, and honestly everyone goes on about Carlos consistency but Charles has had the most top 4/5 finishes out of everyone and despite having a couple of dnfs which you could argue are not his fault and only 1 podium, is ahead of Carlos. Like I understand in the past couple of races Charles hasn’t been his best in comparison, but he is Ferraris future. I think Everyone knows that he will stay with Ferrari for a good while and he has proved his worth fighting against seb dragging that car to up to places where it shouldn’t be, and honestly I would be really disappointed if Ferrari started favouring Carlos because Charles has given so much I think for Ferrari to try and win races with them and he has so much potential that it truly would be sad. All I see on Instagram is Carlos underrated but everyone is saying that so he can’t be if everyone thinks that. He is a good solid driver as I said before, but I get what you mean I just don’t get that raw speed and drive that you see from drivers such as Charles, Lewis, Max ect. Who all push their cars to the limit. You see Charles doing it all the time and everyone time he crashes in fps and Monaco ect. Is him pushing that car to the very limit.

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Title: Ashes of the Sun

Author: Django Wexler

Series: Burningblade & Silvereye #1

Genre: Fantasy

Rating: 3.5/5 stars

The Overview: Long ago, a magical war destroyed an empire, and a new one was built in its ashes. But still the old grudges simmer, and two siblings will fight on opposite sides to save their world, in the start of Django Wexler’s new epic fantasy trilogy. Gyre hasn’t seen his beloved sister since their parents sold her to the mysterious Twilight Order. Now, twelve years after her disappearance, Gyre’s sole focus is revenge, and he’s willing to risk anything and anyone to claim enough power to destroy the Order. Chasing rumors of a fabled city protecting a powerful artifact, Gyre comes face-to-face with his lost sister. But she isn’t who she once was. Trained to be a warrior, Maya wields magic for the Twilight Order’s cause. Standing on opposite sides of a looming civil war, the two siblings will learn that not even the ties of blood will keep them from splitting the world in two. –Goodreads

The Review:

Although there were a lot of things I really enjoyed about Ashes of the Sun, I didn’t like it as much as I think I should have… and I can’t quite pinpoint why. From an evaluation standpoint, it had all the elements I expect from a high fantasy: intriguing world-building, great characters, an interesting plot, good pacing, and a more than adept writing style. It had a good mix of exciting action scenes and slower character development moments. So what’s my malfunction?

I think part of the problem may have been the audiobook narrator. In some ways the characters felt over-performed, coming across as more caricatures than real people. On one hand it set the tone for cheeky characters who I think were supposed to bring a bit of lightheartedness and fun to the novel (which they did), but on the other hand it made a couple of them come across a bit juvenile even though on paper they were actually pretty badass. The final nail in the coffin in this regard may have been how recently I’ve read Wexler’s YA Ship of Smoke and Steel. Both female leads, Maya (AotS) and Isoka (SoSaS) were a bit more similar to each other than I’d have preferred.

Also, based on the name of the series and where the story culminated, it kind of read like a prequel.

Also, also, I don’t know who had the idea first, but the magical constructs in the book were very, very similar to the villain in season 3 of Stranger Things. It’s entirely possible both ideas originated organically (much like the monster’s themselves, lol), but either way the timing is quite unfortunate. Had I read this a year ago I think it would’ve come across a tad more original.

Okay, so on to the things I liked, which were plentiful. The world-building. Perhaps not completely original, but the framework for the story – an empire still suffering the after-effects of a war for power fought hundreds of years ago – set a wicked cool atmosphere with a city divided into factions, underground vies for power (often literally underground), and ongoing biases of politics. I loved the expansive feel of some of the settings and felt completely satisfied at how much Wexler helped me explore in this first book. It also added another great dynamic that the main characters fought on opposite sides of the conflict.

Another thing I liked was the overall character construction and how the author treated them. The beginning had a lot of great camaraderie, which really connected me to the characters. I like that he gave some of the minor characters a bit of a spotlight here and there because the way he did it felt unconventional. I’m not sure I liked where the story headed for many of them because I’m trying to wrap my head around what to expect in the sequel, but for this novel alone it was great.

So overall I’m battling between a rating based on comparable merit (solid 4 stars) and my own personal enjoyment of the book (3 stars). There were parts that had me glued to it mixed with others that had me wondering if I should consider a DNF. I’m going to split the difference with a 3.5 rating with the disclaimer that I think others will enjoy it a lot more than I did. It has a lot of things going for it.

Recommendations: this is a great high fantasy novel for fans of Wexler’s work. Dive in if you’re looking for great character dynamics, a cool world, and good action scenes. Maybe, just maybe, consider skipping the audio version.

Other books you might like:

Dragon’s Path by Daniel Abraham

Twelve Kings of Sharakhai by Bradley P. Beaulieu

Sins of Empire by Brian McClellan

The Waking Fire by Anthony Ryan

Black Prism by Brent Weeks

by Niki Hawkes

Book Review: Ashes of the Sun by Django Wexler Title: Ashes of the Sun Author: Django Wexler Series: Burningblade & Silvereye #1 Genre: Fantasy Rating: 

20 THOUGHTS: Winter is, er, not coming, it is here, actually

JUNE.

This is the guts of the football season, the temperatures drop, the stakes rise; the year becomes aspirational for some and a grind for the rest.

And this works just as well as an analogy for the on field competition or indeed the fights in the bar, it’s a long season if you’re looking to improve your win-loss record within the Medallion Club middleweight division.

Such an interactive fan experience now when you go to the football. If you want to sit and watch your team, they have ticket options for you, but if you’re tempted to throw some cut lunches at a fellow fan within a licensed part of the venue, there’s that option available too - it’s such an all-inclusive entertainment product the AFL offers, they should be commended really.

  1. Want to start with the Fair Work Act. Wonderfully details workplace relations that protect and support employees in a number of areas, but the one we're most familiar with would be leave entitlements. It may differ slightly from workplace to workplace, but paid leave for falling ill, or for caring for an immediate family member, are genuinely invaluable for individuals to keep a regular cash flow in times where you or a loved one can't get to work and need a couple of days off. What it is not for, at all, is for when you decide to let your eyes spend far too much time oogling your media adviser, despite having a loving wife for no less than 24 years, that leads to conception, before the Australian public finds out your new friend with benefits is with child, your child,  so you lose any political popularity you had, because you know, you're all about family and love even though you voted No last year, and then, in a bizarre twist to either clear the air or make bread with your Party or the constituency alike, you let Channel Seven give you and your new son's mother $150,000 for an interview the same time everyone's watching Gordon week start on MasterChef. Now you have been granted five weeks personal leave because the fallout to said interview has got you "struggling", despite the thousands of sheets you took up front for doing so. Now if the Fair Work Act doesn't abscond the taxpayer from having to fit the bill for this said paid leave, we need to get our grey leads and erasers out and get re-drafting the Act. Not good enough Barnacle.

  2. Daniel Ricciardo and then Will Power. Firstly, the West Aussie who piloted a broken Red Bull around the streets of Monaco for a very famous win. Drove literally the perfect lap, a track record, on the Saturday then backed it up with guts and grit when after his pit stop the Renault engine gave him significantly less power, and where retiring to a DNF was on the cards, he drove the thing so well he scored his well-deserved maiden Monaco win. And then the same day, over at the Brickyard, the Toowoomba native who was the Indy series champion four years ago, notched his first even Indianapolis 500, probably the other world famous motor race. Two Aussies on top of the motorsport world on the same day, bloody grouse.

3. Let’s get the rest of the non-footy out of the way up front today, onto tennis quickly. Nick Kyrgios, a lot of good happening in his world, maturing, game is improving, but sadly the body is failing him. Against popular opinion but withdrawing from the French was a good call, getting himself 100% fit for a surface (grass) that he can win some serious matches on, as opposed to clay where its pot luck for Australians, that’s smart. Let’s see him in a few weeks and judge. As for Bernard Tomic, hmm, at least the Australian taxpayer isn’t covering his expenses whilst he has all his leave. Ah Bernie..

  4. And Cricket, so, we had match-fixing rear its ugly, deformed, oily-skinned head this week. We had two accusations of matches involving Australians. Firstly, that a pitch was doctored to guarantee a result in the Sri Lanka-Australia test in Galle. Absolutely viable, it went two and a half days, world-record pace, so absolutely plausible the pitch and subsequently match was fixed. The other, an India-Australia test the same year in Ranchi. The allegation is something around ensuring a session or block of overs were under a certain run total, an over/under bet. The revelation is that two Aussies were bought and that they went on to carry the crime out. Those two would be Steve Smith and Glen Maxwell in the second session on Day One, but without knowing this accusation on paper it just looks like they batted conservatively after losing four early wickets. I’m not sold.

   5. So Kevin Sheedy gets elevated to Legend status, definitely deserves the accolade. 929 games as a player or coach, three flags with Richmond, four flags coaching Essendon. Plus the impact he had as essentially a promoter, a marketer. Phenomenal. Still think Fos Williams should not be too far behind as we’ve mentioned in an earlier column. 779 games a player or coach, played in a flag at West Adelaide before moving to Port Adelaide to be captain-coach, where he won another six flags, then as coach only of the Magpies steered them to another three. That’s Ron Barrassi-esque figures, and he should not be overlooked for too long because they are SANFL, until the late 1980s, VFL, WAFL, SANFL, all comparable to some degree.

  6. The Giants hey? Not good. But, oh, injuries. Not really. So yes, Tom Scully will be eight weeks, then there’s also Brett Deledio and Toby Greene, and that’s it. Phil Davis has a concussion but that’s not long term.  Aside from that, Zac Williams is a wait and see. 14 players from Saturday night played the Prelim last year. You have Steve Johnson and Nathan Wilson not in the side from the weekend who played in the prelim last year, one did nothing, one they traded to Freo for a 2018 draft pick. But Jeremy Cameron dint play the prelim but played on Saturday. This team isn’t really decimated, nor has any excuse.

  7. Woosha, its a theory we've spoken about before, but the win on the weekend goes a bit further to validate it, that from coming on board in 2016 it was about rebuilding a broken club, a higher emphasis on job engagement than results. Yet ever since he publicly came across different in the media two weeks ago, tough, uncompromising, intimidating, which is just like how he was as a player, the team is playing like results do matter and that enough is enough. This club is long from being that broken place, it’s now about making and winning finals. Huge chance this Saturday against the reigning premier, and then all of a sudden, should they win, look out.

  8. Shocker by Adelaide oh my, that was a hell of a stinker. No surprise then to see Don Pyke resort to silent intimidation at the huddle, that’s about as awful a performance as any, and I mean any, we’ve seen all year.

  9. So the Dees then. Great scoring, got to give them that. Five weeks in a row over 100 points. As for margins, 109 points last week, then 91 points this week. Great. But the Crows gave no contest, they beat the Bombers before their resurgence, then its wins over Brisbane, St Kilda, Gold Coast and Carlton. Yes, they beat North Melbourne, but equally they were average against Hawthorn. They look good on paper, they'll beat up the Doggies this week, and the draw is soft. It’s all very winnable aside from two trips to Adelaide after the bye, Geelong down the highway, Sydney at home but the Eagles in Perth. So they probably end up with a maximum of 8 losses, they makes finals, then good luck to them. It’s a very flattering third position right now though.

 10. Angus Brayshaw does deserve some love though. 37 touches on the weekend, 5 inside 50s, week before seven inside 50s and 11 tackles, he has become so important. This column is a big fan.

  11. North Melbourne, looking very good, and whilst the Dees are heavy on the scoring, credit to the Roos they are number one for scores against, averaging under 70 points a game through ten rounds. That’s impressive.

  12. Shaun Higgins, massively key to the Roos ascendance. In their wins, aside from the Hawks game, averaging 29 touches, six clearances, six inside 50s, three tackles. All-Australian squad at a minimum to Round 10.

  13.  Easton Wood. Without Dale Morris looks all at sea and easily-exposed. With Morris in the backline he is an All-Australian third man up, intercept defender. But this season looks easily squandered, and then Friday night did not register a tackle, the fourth time that’s happened already this season. Morris might miraculously come back soon but this surely is his last year, he can only be Superman for so long. So Wood is a 28-year-old captain who needs to find a way to be better.

  14. The Dogs had ten players who played in the 2016 GF but not on Friday: Boyd, Picken, Liberatore, Morris, Biggs, Dunkley, Smith, Stringer, Hamling and Roberts. Those that didn’t play in the flag but played on Friday: Suckling, Richards, Williams, Trengove, Dale, Smith, Gowers, Lipinski, Crozier, Schache. Plus you’ve got the likes of Wallis, Honeychurch, Jong, Adams, Redpath who played neither. What that says is that whilst they are missing a good bunch of premiership players who could influence results right now, few are either stil at the club or could be making such an influence in the short term, too the replacement players have worked to only some degree at best and some of their more experienced players are so out of form its potentially forcing games into kids who might not yet be ready. Consider the Dogs lost.

   15.  Dayne Beams. Courageous week, not an easy week personally and then far from an easy opponent with the Swans last Saturday. Came up with a best on ground performance, 38 touches, nine clearances, five inside 50s, four tackles and a sausage. Such a jet.

  16. So we have a few punch ups at the footy of late, but this column is glad its getting covered. Sure, the A-League cops it far worse but that’s old stereotypes dying hard, images in this country where there’s flares or fan separation feeds fear, and fear feeds the news cycle. But the A-League is nowhere near as bad as the image it cops, and the AFL needs to do something about its punch-ups.

  17.  Tom Mitchell. Started the year with 54 touches in Round One, then 40 in Round Two, two best on grounds, maximum 10 votes in each game from the coaches, he was the superstar that no coach should be dumb enough to let off the chain. Since then, he is still smashing the averages, getting 32 touches a game, but clearly his influence hasn’t been such. The Hawks are 3-5 in that time and in half of those games Mitchell hasn’t even got a single coaches vote. Three games he got over 40 but did not get a perfect 10. Despite his first two weeks, he is now six votes behind Patrick Cripps who is averaging less than 30 touches a game in team that has four less wins. Tag Cripps. Don’t bother with Mitchell.

�� 18.          Footy Show, Front Bar, quick one, we're not far from the Front Bar having the permanent wood on the Nine show now we think. We reckon if nothing turns it around by seasons end it gets pulled. Does. Not. Make. Money. Been on our screens since 1994, it will be strange to see it go, but its time.

19.   Credit to the Cats’ recruiters for their 2016 draft. Let’s recap. They did not have a first round pick because the year before traded it to Carlton for Lachie Henderson. Not a great move but they were in good need for some tall timber, so we can understand. But as for their selections for the picks they had, they took Brandan Parfitt and Tom Stewart in the second round, Sav Ratugolea in the third round, then got Jack Henry and Jamaine Jones in the first and third rounds of the rookie draft. Tough to assess Jones after only his debut, but clearly there’s at least three or four long-term senior players from one crop, as outstanding a job by the recruiting staff as you’ll see.

20. And finally, old mate Damien Barrett wants clubs fined for 'lying about injuries to the consumer' in response to Patrick Dangerfield’s article where he said its competitive advantage for clubs to not reveal or always be truthful about play availability, selection, etc. Robbo is sloppy but this is just bizarre. Things aren't good at home Damo? Not enough fibre in your diet. We do hope you can move past this sadness in your life, Damien.

(originally published 30 May)

2017 HITS Palm Springs “Ironman” Race Report

It’s been on my bucket list to do an Ironman distance race for some time.  After completing the half-distance race at this location in 2013 with a friend (Carlos), we both agreed to come back for the full distance the following year. Unfortunately, it was not to be for either us.  Carlos succumbed very quickly to cancer.  One month he was my training partner, and the next he was gone.  Around that same time I was overtraining, and ended up with PF. I rolled over my entry to the following year and vowed to complete the race next year for Carlos.  However, a year-long deployment to Afghanistan meant a 2nd straight DNS (Did Not Start).  In 2016 I dedicated the 2nd half of the year to the goal of finally finishing this particular race for Carlos, for myself, and all my friends who had supported me in pursuit of this goal.  Instead, I made a series of little decisions that resulted in a DNF (my first and only).  Fast forward again to 2017, and you can begin to understand the importance of completing not just any Ironman, but this particular race.  

 This year I’d have company on the long course with my good buddy Freddy as I had convinced him to upgrade to the full in 2017.  He may or may not have been drinking at the time but I was happy he agreed as Freddy and I trained all summer and fall.  Diana was also back to improve on last year’s first-time half-distance finish. The three of us departed after LA traffic cleared up on Friday and arrived in time to hear the RD’s mandatory race briefing.  The course had changed back to the flat route that it was years before.  I was disappointed, as last year’s route through Box Canyon, while difficult, was beautiful and a great way to break up the monotony of farmland surrounding Lake Cahuilla.  Another new wrinkle was that there would be two different transition areas, but we were starting and finishing at the lake.  Otherwise, the course was 2 laps in the water, 4 laps on the bike, and 4 laps on the run.  Some of my friends can’t stand loops; however, when trying to conquer a new distance or keep track of your pace, the confidence of knowing the terrain makes racing strategy and adjustments easier.  After the participant briefing we quickly set up our things in T1 and took off for our hotel. Despite a few beers and a soak in the hot tub I found sleep elusive most of the night.  Perhaps it was race anxiety.  Nevertheless, I had been banking sleep all week, and woke up at 0500 feeling well enough and got things going.  

 We arrived back at Lake Cahuilla a little later than desired (~0615), and had less than 20 minutes to get into our wetsuits, tires pumped up, and make any last-minute adjustments. This would later factor into my bike ride as I had failed to premix my electrolyte powder (Tailwind) into the water in my water bottles.  Instead it was left in the back pocket of my bike jersey that I would put on after the swim. In no time at all it seemed as if we were being kicked out of transition and towards the water.  The water this year was perfect: low 60s and calm. After last year’s low-to-mid 50s water temperature we were bracing ourselves for the worst.  I later said to Freddy and Diana that what we were most worried about turned out to be the best part of the race experience.  There were less than 200 participants combined between the half and full distance this year.  I’m sure last year’s cold water temps and 20+ mph wind gusts through Box Canyon discouraged a lot of folks from coming back.  Too bad for them, but good for us as it meant a whole lot less people at the swim start.  Freddy, Diana, and I were almost ready to go when we spotted a photographer and got a group picture.  About 30 seconds later it really was go time and Freddy and I were out of position for the start of the race.  However, this would prove beneficial as we didn’t have to fight as many people while swimming, staying on the very outside of the pack for the first leg.  We stayed parallel to the shore going into the sun. I had just purchased a new set of ROKA mirrored goggles which worked perfectly without any fogging, leaking, or pressure marks on the face.  The buoys were a combination of small and tall yellow cylindrical and orange triangle, shapes spaced about a tenth of a mile apart.  Except for the fact that we were in fresh water instead of salt water, I’d describe the course as perfect racing conditions.  

Given how great the swim conditions were I was free to focus on my strategy, which was as follows: 1. Stay relaxed as long as possible, 2. Stay as long as possible (maximizing distance per stroke), 3. Follow through with every stroke, and 4. Kick only as much to keep your hips up (I’m not a strong kicker).  This would be key as I didn’t want to race against the pink hats (half distance male racers), but stay focused on my own strategy.  When I turned the first “L” of the first lap I caught my time as ~17:53 and thought, wow I hope I can maintain that.  A quick check of my technique and breathing, and I realized, yes, I think I can.  Having made the turn with the sun at my back I could see better the line of buoys and realized they curved to the left.  I decided to do what I usually do in the ocean and focus on the target farthest away, which took me away from the closest buoys but put me on a more direct path to the last buoy.  As a result, I encountered only one other swimmer.  He was alternating between breaststroke and freestyle.  During freestyle he kicked way too much and would be faster than me during that portion, but then I would pass him during breaststroke.  After a couple of times of leapfrogging each other, one of his kicks caught my forearm and I got pissed.  While any type of stroke is legal in triathlons it’s really inconsiderate to do it in close proximity to anyone.  Still, I’m pretty sure I caught up to this guy and he was swimming away from everyone else so he could do his own thing.  I quickly went back to focusing on my preferred swim mechanics and was happy to realize we were close to the final turn (for him).  I finished the first lap (1.2 miles) in about 36:13, which I realized would put me on a crazy PR if I could double that.  As I come from a trail running background a quote popped into my mind, “It’s not about who’s the fastest, it’s about who slows down the least.”  I set my mind to not slowing down and getting my time under 1 hour and 15 mins.  The 2nd lap was easier going back into the sun as it was a little higher, and there were very few swimmers in front of me.  I found myself trying to catch up to a few of the swimmers ahead of me, and slowly but surely caught up before the 5th buoy and other end of the lake.  I’m not sure if it was because I swam a more efficient route (I’m better than average at sighting), picked up my pacing, or if they were tiring.  When I turned the “L” for a second time at ~55:26 I knew I had slowed down some, but I was going to push to the finish.  I again lined up for a straight shot on the final buoy and had not a single swimmer in front of me as they again stayed closer to the buoy line.  The only difference on this final leg was that I encountered a little bit of debris in the form of twigs, but nothing like the kelp that one encounters on a regular basis in the ocean.  Last year at this point I was fighting wind and chop in the water.  My hands wouldn’t properly close to catch the water on my stroke and my ears were starting to hurt despite the neoprene cap with chin strap. What a difference a year makes!  This year I was passing people at the end instead of getting passed.  When I stood up from the water I was at 1:14:33 and ran up to T1 for an official time of 1:16:05.

I was 12th out of 37 full-distance participants on the swim.  Not bad considering I used to be in the bottom 25% on the swim. Normally, I would compare against my age group and gender, but there were only 4 of us dudes aged 40-44. However, for those of you that love metrics (like I do), I maintained a really strong swim cadence for me (27 strokes per minute avg) throughout, even pushing to 29 SPM to finish.  By comparison, on my last three long swims (2 miles, 2.4 miles, and 3 miles) the stroke rate was 24 SPM avg.  

I averaged 150 bpm heart rate, max of 174 bpm, which put me right in my Zone 5 heart rate, yet surprisingly I felt like I could have gone another couple of miles.  Maybe not at the 1:48/100yd pace that I averaged, but certainly another mile or two would have been easy.  Perhaps I’ll eventually get to that 10K swim I’ve been saying I’ll do one day.  

T1 was about half the time as last year.  I took my time first eating a macadamia nut cookie from subway and drinking some water, then toweling off, mainly my legs as I wanted to keep my socks somewhat dry. Moisture-wicking socks are more effective if they’re mostly dry to begin with.  I zipped up my bike jersey over my tri suit (which had my nutrition, a 2nd spare inner tube, and my phone), grabbed my aero helmet, and took off. Total time 5:28.

I immediately felt better on the bike portion compared to last year.  I was in far better shape after the swim this year and knew for certain I was a better conditioned rider.  The route was 4 loops starting at Lake Cahuilla and ending at T2 only 2.6 miles away.  One of the things I did throughout this ride was do math aloud.  112 miles minus 2.6 miles is 109.4 miles.  Divide that by 4 and that’s 27.35.  Divide that by 2 and each length of a lap is about 13.66 miles. Break down the lengths of each turn. Ok, that length was X miles..  so many miles until the next turn.  Ok, my last 5-mile split was 19.9 mph..  let’s see if we can keep it above 19 mph avg for the next 5.  I mean really, when it’s you and there are only so many other riders you have to find things to occupy yourself.  I’m pretty sure I sounded like a less gifted “Rainman” out there at times (definitely, definitely a good rider) until things got worse, and then I switched to cursing out loud at times.  My goal for the race was under six hours.  I had completed two half-distance tris where I was able to maintain 20 mph for 56 miles and did that without race wheels.  However, since then I had bought super light, super aero race wheels and figured that they would help me combat the ever present wind that is inevitable in the Palm Springs area.  If you were to have any doubts about whether or not there would be wind in the Coachella Valley, pay attention to the ever- growing number of wind turbines on the West end of the valley.  They’re growing like tumbleweeds in the Mojave Desert.  So the answer is, wind is always a factor, but at least for the first couple of laps it wasn’t that bad.  Excuse me for saying it again, but certainly not anywhere as bad as last year. The course also had only a combined 1080’ of gain/loss this year.  Nothing like the sustained 3% avg climb for 12 miles through Box Canyon with 15-20 mph wind gusts.  Yet monotony has its own price to pay.  Later on we’d later comment that we missed the hills as the change of pace gave us a chance to coast on the downhills.  Granted, that is coming from 3 individuals who have completed 100K or more distances who value the variability that hills provide.  The course reminded us a lot of a trainer ride where there is no such thing as coasting.  I would like to say that I knew exactly how fast I did the first 56 miles, but I mistakenly forgot to turn off auto pause for the bike portion of training.  Moving time was about 2 hours and 51 minutes, which, despite the short breaks I took to grab water bottles of Heed (the electrolyte drink from the aid stations),  I was well on the way to a 19 mph avg finish.  Now let’s talk about where I F’d up.

If there’s one adage that you should always follow, it’s don’t do anything new on race day.  That includes nutrition.  That includes making sure whatever bottles they’re handing out will actually stay in your bottle holders.  That includes making sure your stomach will accept what you’re putting down. That includes making sure there’s enough calories to keep your body going.  Well, I learned that the arrowhead water bottles that they were handing out are likely to slide through my bottle holder because they’re TOO SQUEEZABLE and you’ll have to keep riding until the next aid station in 13.66 miles! I learned that if I’m rushed in the morning I should remember for the LOVE OF EVERYTHING GOOD TO STOP AND ADD THE TAILWIND ELECTROLYTE MIX IN YOUR JERSEY POCKET TO THE WATER BOTTLE THAT’S ALREADY FULL OF WATER.  I learned that waiting to eat your shot blocks, or your ingenious snickers with almonds bar until it’s much later in the day, it WILL BE TO LATE BECAUSE you’re going the distance AND for speed.  And why or why didn’t you just use the same stuff you did in training? Yeah, those wonderful homemade sandwiches (sometime with PB&J, sometimes with Nutella and ohney) that you used with the OFFICIAL UNCRUSTABLE SANDWICH CUTTER sealed up nice and easy inside of individual sandwich baggies.  NO, you had to get all fancy and stupid with the “I ONLY NEED ONE HAND FOR SHOT BLOCKS AND THEY HAVE CAFFEINE WHICH WILL MAKE ME FASTER.”  

Anyway, mistakes were made again.  At least I didn’t lose my vision this year.  OH, on that subject, I stopped twice at aid stations to remove the visor from my helmet and completely wash my face.  The interesting thing is that sweat only accumulated in my left eye twice, which resulted in my closing my eye for a few minutes until the eye generated enough tears to flush it.  Later on when I started the run, that same left eye was just slightly blurred.  I’m thinking last year’s vision problems were a combination of factors, but perhaps the key one might just be the amount of salt taken into the eyes.  I’m a very heavy sweater and I was thankful that while it did get hot at that point, I wasn’t grinding up Box Canyon with both wind and sweat to irritate my corneas. But back to the 3rd lap.About halfway through, the wind patterns did change as it was the hottest part of the day.  I started slowing down on my 5-mile splits, and when I finished the 3rd lap (about mile 84,) I decided I needed to sit down for a minute and drink more fluids. I moved my sorry self over to the curb and sat down and thought, what’s wrong with you.  This is about the distance you stopped last year. Certainly you’re better than this. You’ve gone through dark times on the trails.  You once were counted out and then got up and hiked all night.  Your legs still work?  Ok, get your ass back on the bike and slug it out. I’d like to say that things got easier after that, but at that point the damage was already done.  I could feel both lower quads start to cramp when the leg was fully extended.  Being the problem solver that I am, I decided if my quads weren’t going to cooperate, then I use more hamstrings.  Well, that worked well enough for a while.  The aid station support was actually at the half-distance turnaround.  At that time of day only the porta potties remained, and they had moved all support 1/3 mile up the road to the full-distance turnaround.  When I pulled in and swung my leg over the seat I immediately felt my hamstring cramp up.  Not like someone gave me a Charlie horse, no.  This is the scream-out-loud, don’t-fall-over, don’t-pass-out kind of cramp that comes with dehydration, electrolyte imbalance, and high intensity exercise in heat. It’s a special kind of pain, and honestly, I was glad no one else was there to see me.  It took about 30 seconds before I stopped clinging to my bike, afraid that I would drop my baby, and moved it over to the bike rack that was thankfully still there, and slowly lowered my butt to the ground trying to stretch out my right leg.  As I sat there watching my leg quiver uncontrollably, I again turned to dark thoughts.  In times like those you try to fight away the negativity, but inevitably fear of failure creeps in.  The idea that I could DNF on the same race two years in a row was lurking, and I quickly turned to assess my options.  I had remembered to bring my black “fanny pack” which had a variety of “when things go wrong” options.  I quickly took a salt pill, Advil, and salt chewable (digests the quickest).  I also finished the other half of Tailwind and sat there.  People I had passed were riding by now, one actually asked if I was ok, which was appreciated.  I kept massaging my hamstring and quads, hoping to bring them back to life.  I needed less than 14 miles to get back to T2 and walk things out.  I started psyching myself up.  Carlos would keep going if he were here.  There was a one-armed guy that did the half.  You still have use of ALL OF YOUR LIMBS.  Get your ass moving.  Slowly at first, and take it mile by mile.  Use one leg, just keep going.  I managed to pick myself up and get moving.  I shifted to the small ring up front to test things out on the bike. That seemed ok.  Luckily the wind was now at my back or crosswind.  No more aero, just let it push you.  I saw that Freddy, who had been about 5 miles behind me earlier, was now nearly caught up.  Made sense as I spent about 15-20 minutes sitting on the ground at the last 2 aid stations.  As I slowly pedaled my way back to T2 I started thinking about how the salt tablets would affect my digestion.  I still had a marathon to get through, and remembered what it was like to walk the last 3.5 miles at LA Marathon with double leg cramps, or trying to finish the last 2 miles at Silverman 70.3 in 2014.  It’s one thing to have confidence in the face of the unknown.  It’s another thing to have experienced pain and know that if you’re going to finish that there will be no easy way.  To quote the movie 300, “This will not end quickly, you will not enjoy this.”  But again, I was letting the negativity creep in.  I thought of the 400-lb sumo wrestler that did LA Marathon each year. He had power walked it in 8 hours. If he could do that at his weight, certainly I could as well.  When I finally finished the total bike time was 6:54:35, a 16.2 mph avg.  I finished 20 out of 37 finishers, which was very surprising to me considering how much time I had spent on the ground.  I also had an average cadence throughout the entire ride in the low 80s, even when I was cranking out 5-mile splits at 19+ mph, which is very unusual for me.  I’d like to say what my average HR was, but it cut out on me very early in the ride.

When I got to T2 I asked for help dismounting.  I had someone hold my bike at an angle so low it was only 1 foot high.  It made it a lot easier not to test my hamstring by having to swing it high over my seat again.  The volunteers sprang to work and took care of everything else.  They racked my bike for me, they went and got my T2 bag that I had dropped off at T1 at the start of the race, they were kind enough to take my helmet to my bike and get me fluids.  I felt like it was a VIP experience.  At the time I didn’t think about how unusual that was for a race, but when you only have 37 full distance finishers (don’t know how many started) and it’s getting late in the day, a half-dozen volunteers makes for an amazing transition area.  I’m curious to hear how T2 went for the half-distance racers, but I thought it was amazing.  I sat there slowly changing my shoes, putting all my bike stuff back in my bag, and before I knew it, someone had taken that away too.  Freddy soon showed up and I was so very happy to see my friend.  I could tell he wasn’t having that much fun on the bike.  I knew at this point forward Freddy would be ahead of me.  I really didn’t care that much anymore about beating Freddy.  I had hoped to at least push him on the run, but I knew I didn’t have the legs anymore for sustained running. Nevertheless, we headed out together to walk the first mile of the run. Time in T2 was 14:43.

The aid stations on the run were the opposite of the aid stations on the bike.  I will make it a note to write the RD a note saying can we PLEASE, PLEASE have bananas on the bike course.  Anything besides Heed and water.  But I had been promised a cornucopia of fruit and snacks at every run aid station.  At this point that was my primary mission on the run.  Get to mile 2 and eat high-sodium and potassium foods; whatever I could stomach. Knowing that my stomach would be imbalanced from having so little solid food on the bike and then adding a bunch of salt I figured I was in for a tough time.  Getting to that first aid station and assessing how much I could take in would be everything.  I grabbed a handful of pretzels, green grapes, Ruffles potato chips, and bananas, taking my time to chew each as thoroughly as possible.  From my experience on the Backbone race earlier the year where I took in too much salt, I knew that from that point forward, the ability to take in fluids and nutrition would determine if I were doing run-walk intervals or walk-run intervals.  I asked how far until the next aid station, and was told about 2 miles. I wanted to eat more but was having trouble keeping down everything I had just subjected myself to.  Walk-run intervals it would have to be.  At that point I was really happy that I had put my jacket in my T2 bag instead of my special needs run bag (which wouldn’t be available until about mile 6), as the sun was already setting behind the 10,000’ peaks of the San Jacinto Mountains at 1600.  The run course was 4 laps along the neighborhood roads and leading back to the lake.  There were three total aid stations, with the first and third ones being the turnaround points for each lap.  It was a completely unexciting race course for the initiated among trail running. The best thing I can say about the course is people driving by and honking horns, yelling at us to finish strong, and of course seeing everyone else out on the course.  Considering how empty and quiet the bike course was, this was constant noise by comparison.  I won’t complain about the course design, but it had occurred to me that it would be cool if we ran around the lake at least once.  Of course, the problem with that is running in the dark, or getting lost.  No, they designed a good race course for people who, like me, would be shuffling along in the dark for hours.  We were like zombies; mindless, in search of nutrition, driven by the need to keep moving but forgetful in our purpose of why we existed.  Some of the runners were pure joy to encounter as they overflowed with positivity and encouragement.  I tried my best to do that with every runner, as I believe in karma.  And when it wasn’t returned, I sometimes said a small curse under my breath and wished a small curse upon them.  I wasted my precious breathe in my state to wish you well and you ignored me.  The race gods will strike you down with FURIOUS ANGER for having not honored this sacred code among endurance athletes.  But, like a cat’s memory I moved on to the next thought in front of me.

One of the pretty things about the run was that we were one day short of the super moon.  Although the course provided us with head lamps, we really didn’t need them to see.  The moon was gorgeous and the night was far from dark and full of terrors.  No, the head lamps were so that we could be seen among the cars trying to pull in to their gated communities.  It didn’t happen very often, but sometimes I’d have to check for a vehicle waiting to turn.  That section of the road was the long, boring part of the race that I came to dislike, even though that’s where the most encouragement happened.  I preferred running near the lake, which, at above sea level, radiated both humidity and air that was warmer than the desert air around us.  During the 2nd lap I discovered they had chicken broth, and forced myself to keep taking that in, knowing it was loaded with sodium.  For real, a bowl of that stuff and you’ll have almost your entire recommended sodium for the day.  For us ironmen, it was just something to keep us moving.  I stopped taking in solids for the most part during the 2nd and 3rd laps.  The ability to digest food meant losing blood from the limbs, and I wanted to keep the walk-run intervals up.  At least ¼ mile of each mile I would run.  At one point during the start of the 3rd lap I ran for a half mile and that made up for walking the entire first mile.  By then Freddy was 3 miles ahead of me, and I was realizing I would be out here for too much longer.  I started stopping at the aid stations to sit down for just a minute to get off my feet.  That hot foot that had started developing on the bike in my right foot was starting to come back.  Truthfully, I had done more trail running than road miles, and even though I had a thicker shoe than the Vibrams I trained in, I could feel my feet swelling up and getting angry with me.  I decided to switch to a very pronounced heel to toe stride with less pronation to ease off it, and that seemed to keep it from getting worse.  

When I got to the start of my fourth and final lap, I ran into Diana, who was back from finishing her race and driving back to the hotel to freshen up.  She had her jacket, beers, and vegan food for Freddy and I and was getting ready to catch us crossing the finish line.  I was so very pleased to see her.  Between Freddy and Diana they’ve pulled me through some very, very long races.  They know what motivates me, when I’m not myself (I stop talking), and when I just need to be told to “stop being a little bitch” and keep moving.  Ok, they didn’t really say that to me.  She told me she was proud of me and that I just need to keep walking and that she would see me soon.  6.7 more miles and I would be an Ironman.  About a mile into the last lap I saw Freddy.  He too offered up encouragement and told me, “I’ll come get you if that’s what it takes!”  I let him know it wouldn’t take that, and to be ready when I got to the finish line. I started running more after that. In fact, I caught up to a few people, passed them, and stayed ahead for the next several miles.  At this point I wanted more energy, so I switched to orange slices and water.  I love simple sugars, and with less than 10K to go, I didn’t want to waste time trying to worry about the next lap.  No, at this point it was finish time.  I noticed on my 4th lap that about half the runners had cleared out.  Those of us who were left were mostly walking. You’d think that the tall skinny guys would have finished or the really old folks would be last, but there was no rhyme or reason to those who were behind me or in front of me.  When I got to the turnaround point I sat down again, this time for a few minutes.  My right foot was flaring up again, angry from the run-walk intervals I had switched to. I decided to not push injury and just speed-walk the last 3.3 miles.  I could average a 16 min/mile pace on flat ground with no problem. Less than an hour to go.  I stuck with the oranges and water, making sure to thank everyone still out on the race course for their support.  I have volunteered very few times, but I’m always extremely appreciative of those who take the time to enable us to do crazy feats of endurance, or masochistic behavior (depending on your point of view). With about a mile to go, Diana found me heading in.  I was able to forget about everything for a while, which was nice.  We got to compare notes on how the race had gone, and I was pleased to learn of her finish and Freddy’s.  We kept messaging Freddy to let me know how close we were to finishing. Once we got about 500’ out Diana ran ahead to join Freddy, and I got to muster enough strength to pretend that I was still a runner and not some poser who was out here pretending he was a triathlete.  I crossed the finish line just a little after 10:30 pm, over 15.5 hours after I started. It was the longest marathon I had ever done, and the first in which I started in pain.  In the end it took me 7:03:12.  By comparison, I’ve down a 50K with 4000’ of gain/loss in 90 less minutes. I finished 35 of 37 overall in this category, clearly the hardest part of the day/night for me.  

Overall, I finished 26 out of 37 finishers.  Considering the downward spiral of cramps, nausea, and moments of sitting, I’m shocked I finished where I did.  I was thrilled to have finally finished for the night.  Not for the pride of accomplishment, but because I wanted my bed. I wanted to be resting.  I had threaded the needle between pushing my body just fast enough to avoid throwing up and succumbing to cramps for nearly 8 hours. Not exactly the most fun way to complete your first ironman distance race, but I’m already thinking about how to improve and getting another shot at it.  But mostly, I’m just super thankful to my friends who were there to see me through this, yet again after doing stupid stuff on race day.  Super thankful that we get to share in these moments and keep going.  People wonder why I’m so faithful to this particular race.  I’ll tell you, it’s not the race, it’s not the place, it’s the faces staring back at you when you finish.  May you find those moments in your life too.