GOD twelve truly is the character of all time.

he’s pathetic, he’s an old man, he’s autistic, he’s my wife.

he has a scary and tough exterior but underneath it all he’s kind. he loves so earnestly, with everything in him. he’s afraid of love and the loss that comes with it, but he knows he’s so much better with it. so he loves with everything he has. GOD thinking about him makes my mind go wild. he’s similar to nine in my mind, in that he acts tough, but is just so broken on the inside. but twelve knows how to heal, or at least how to start to heal. ten and eleven were fun, but twelve is so refreshing. he’s brave, he’s unabashedly himself. he loves fiercely. he’s been through so much, and will go through so much to protect those he loves. he is not a good man, nor a bad man, just a man trying his best to be the best he can, and to love those around him.

twelve’s whole story is about grief. the debilitating grief that comes with a practically immortal lifespan, and the knowledge that you will eventually lose everyone you love. but twelve doesn’t wallow in his grief, he uses his grief to propel him towards being good, being kind. he is desperate to stop the cycle of hatred, by being kind despite everything. compassion, always. always try to be nice, never fail to be kind. he always cares.

twelves entire arc is about choosing to end the cycle. choosing love in the face of grief. learning to be kind, despite everything.

Bringing my mental illness to light

I am once again mentally ill about a niche blorbo

my inner monologue is just always thinking about ritsu way too hard

the walten files fans try not to demonize people with addictions, understand these characters are meant to be complex, and learn to grasp the concept of nuance + remorse + grief and fear causing people to make poor choices challenge: impossible

this is how I'm choosing to take my first steps into the Vampyr fandom

2023 Brazilian Grand Prix - Podium - Fernando Alonso

Actually, my new favourite thing to do to heal is to fall in love with a piece of humanity. How could I hate this world when I am so in love with it?

actually. the specific phrasing that boy Kevin wants to kill older Kevin with "I must disassemble him, piece by piece, so that everything inside of the Old Kevin comes out. Only then can the New Kevin truly begin." is so incredibly the idea that to heal from trauma and "improve" you have to destroy every "wrong" part of yourself, that everything "tainted" by it has to somehow be replaced by something untouched (which isn't possible)

Once again i did notes (for my fics) instead of working on the very important work i have to do but this time its ok because i meant to take off today and rest anyway.

and besides i did something i had always wanted to do since fricken 2019!

I DID A POWER SCALE FOR THE MP100 ESPERS!!!

As you can see im still missing the 7th division claw members and the awakening lab kids (and others) buts its ok because i did the most important ones!

(also those missing are all around the same level anyway)

As i watched mp100 I ve always classified the espers in 5 categories(excluding mobs own) depending of their abilities in my mind which i put on the side and also they way i understand their powers (aka telepaths/seers/spiritists behaving differently)

(or at least the way i see all of this)

i included notes explainning why i put them the way i did (good luck understanding them) and even how their powers grew during the story!

even thought ive had this cale in my mind for years i never realized how much ritsu grows in it! (even though i did him so dirty lmao)

i made this mostly as a handy reference for myself but if you want to use it feel free to do it (ñ

or to askme if you are curious about anything!

... Except why Teru and Shou got extra lines... I don't even know it myself I just know they make sense

(I think besides their first appearance im also marking their status as of the world dominatiom arc and at the end of the story (dotted lines are the leaves they reach when pushed to their limits... Not recommended))

dunno when ill get to finish this but when i do it ill update it here or maybe in another post and link it... who knows

Edit: although I named the zone "can copy others special techniques" it doesn't necessarily has to be copied.

That zone actually is "can use more than 1 specialized technique".

I put "copy" because I believe each techquine is innate to some psychic somewhere and while yeah you could come up with a technique on your own different than the one you already have I think it's easier to do it once you see someone else doing it. Aka easier to copy techniques than to create them yourselves.

Copying techniques isn't that easy either (remember the scale is exponential) which is why Teru being able to do it on the spot is so remarkable and says a lot about his level of power.

Just went back and watched Ash fight scenes and if they don't at the VERY LEAST let smoke eminate off Cinder in all his fight scenes you will see me on national and international TV.

image I.D. below the cut

image description start:

[a promotional picture of Sam and Dean Winchester, Sam on the left and Dean on the right, their images from circa 2010. They both stare challengingly into the camera with their arms crossed, though Dean also holds a large blade. The background is a two lane blacktop with an older style of power line and corn on either side. At the top and bottom are flames. Sam says "im restricting", Dean says "and im bingeing" and the flaming text gif at the bottom reads "the eating disorder brothers.]

image description end.

It's about like.

Willow fought to be seen as strong, because she is and for a very long time people not only convinced her that she wasn't, but that a lack of strength correlated to a lack of worth. And because of this past of having to prove herself and rediscover who she is and could be, Willow accidentally internalized the idea that others perception of her as strong is conditional on her always succeeding despite the obstacles, always staying in control and on top of things, always being the shoulder to cry on, etc etc.

And to an extent, she was right! Amity (unintentionally and well meaningly) refused to acknowledge willow's strength, leading to her having to prove herself, Boscha takes great pleasure in pointing out the chinks in willow's armour because Boscha feels better about herself when someone else is beneath her and she most often makes Willow that target. These are examples in which someone (correctly) paints Willow as pretending to be strong, but act like if they peeled back that facade, all you'd be left with is weak, half a witch willow. Whereas Hunter and Gus understand that even if you peel back willow's front of strength to see the more vulnerable side of her, there's still a strong foundation that takes little time in getting back into the swing of things once she's let it all out. Willow can be reliable and have debilitating anxiety. She can be whiney and needy and still be brave and powerful. Reliable people need someone to rely on too.

Willow's arc in labyrinth runners meant a lot to me because being consistently told that you are weak and need the help of people who love you but who struggle to understand you and see past their own need to protect you, by those people hit close to home and was incredibly validating to see. Somebody once compared the writing of those interactions to microaggressions, and intentional or not it resonated with me bc of that I think.

And now willow's arc in FTF completes this in a way that's very viscerally satisfying to me. Because proving your worth to people, no matter how successfully you do so, takes such a toll on your own mental well being and self perception. Bottling up your emotions so you don't drag others down is so difficult. And you deserve to cry like a big fucking baby if you've been doing this. Let it out!

For the future is an episode about being seen and heard, so to have Willow be so thoroughly seen and heard not just by the people who understand her best within the show, but also by the writers and consequently the audience is just.

It's what she deserves. And I love her very much

we may have lost another one to the bisexual hotgirl and straight loserboy agenda but trust i am fighting it comrades 🫡

ok so clarifying on my larry adhd headcanon because i know i'm right here to me larry and phoenix are BOTH undiagnosed adhd (maybe phoenix gets diagnosed later into his life or before the events of the games but idk) but phoenix is the like "what's wrong with me" adhd where he struggles with things and his response is that he HAS to do them because if he can't it's an issue especially when it's so effortless for everyone else and he's constantly worried that something must be wrong with him to struggle so much and larry is the "why is he like that" adhd where he struggles with things and his response is "if it sucks hit da bricks" and puts his effort instead into coming off like it doesn't bother him because he just Doesn't Care about responsibilities ever and it totally never worries him that he struggles with things other people seem to do effortlessly haha why would you think that. no he doesn't worry about that kind of thing. he doesn't even care. he chose to be the irresponsible class clown and he totally didn't make that choice so that his failures felt like something within his control that he could just as easily accomplish "if i felt like it" what makes you think that

Lee Chan