#I am never leaving 2008 behind | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

tkaulitzlvr · 8 months

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2008 tom forcing reader to answer a call from her bf while they're secretly fucking, going faster and whispering dirty things in her ear as shes on call to tease her, making it harder for her to not to make any noise🤭🤭

btw I love ur writings sm, one of my fav writers fr😩

thankyouu😽🙏🏻

ANSWER IT - T. KAULITZ

synopsis: your boyfriend calls you at a pretty inconvenient time, but tom forces you to answer, and you have to disguise what is really happening, tom not making it easy for you.

content: smut

a/n: thank u so much anon! and oh my god this req is such a good idea, literally as soon as i saw it i knew it was gonna be the next one i write, and i had so much fun making this so thank u so much for requesting i hope u like it!!💞

come over, no one else is home. 10:47pm

i stared at the text message as it came through, the words looking back at me, contemplating on whether i should give in or not. my mind, the more rational, morally correct side of me, tells me that i should say no, reminding me that i have a boyfriend, who would be home from his business trip in just a couple of hours. but, the fact that my heart should have belonged to someone else had never stopped me before. my heart was more reckless, making rash decisions that spoke only for my impulses, not the part of me that felt guilty for what i had been doing for the past few months, completely unbeknownst to my boyfriend.

it was never meant to turn out like this, no. what was firstly settled as a ‘drunk mistake’ that my boyfriend wouldn’t have to know about became a sober fuck, one that happens at least once a week. i am hooked, unable to stay away from tom despite the constant nagging that reminds me how much of an evil person i am. but my guilty conscience is not strong enough to win me over, so i keep going back, completely addicted to the way tom feels, my boyfriend unable to give me the same satisfaction.

he is kind, loyal, loving. i don’t deserve him, really. he would come home from work every evening, completely oblivious of the fact that another man had been inside of me just hours before, intimate with me in the bed that we would sleep in every night - he knows nothing about any of it.

and it is this that reminds me that i should decline tom’s offer, my eyes still blazing into the phone screen as the message stares at me. i have a boyfriend, this is wrong. the voice inside of my head says, chanting it over and over, convincing me to make the right decision for once, instead of acting purely on desire. he would be heartbroken if he ever found out, he doesn’t deserve this. my conscience continues, on the brink of winning me over, the shame of what i have become sinking into me, nothing about this entire thing justifiable on my part. i can put a stop to this, do the right thing, all i need to do is say the word.

k, i’ll be over soon. 10:51pm

i sigh, a little embarrassed at my lack of self-control, knowing that tom has me wrapped around his finger, unable to decline his invitation. the blood is on my hands, staining my innocence, and i am far too into this to ever go back to the way things once were. i jump out of bed, rushing over to the mirror and inspecting my appearance. my makeup is a little messed up, so i take time fixing it, making sure i look perfect for tom, adjusting my hair after, removing any knots in at as it falls to my shoulders. finally satisfied, i grab my keys, leaving the apartment and locking the door behind me, making my way to the parking lot.

i unlock my car, climbing in cautiously, checking that my boyfriend hadn’t unexpectedly arrived home early before turning off my location on my phone, getting used to doing these things to avoid getting caught as much as i could. the car engine starts with a low hum, radio quietly sounding out in the background as i drive to tom’s house, the guilt soon fading away as excitement buzzes around me.

the familiar house comes into view, but i park a little further down the street, not wanting to make it obvious that i was there in case my boyfriend did find out where i was. the street is dark as i climb out of my car, locking it before quickly walking towards his house, checking behind me and knocking on the door.

tom opens it within a few seconds, smirking whilst looking me up and down, moving to the side and giving me room to walk in. he shuts the door behind him, not wasting any time as he pushes me forcefully against the wall, attaching his lips to mine.

“missed you.” he mutters into the kiss as i whine a little in response, already too into it to give him a proper answer, but judging by the way his hands travel down my back, squeezing my ass firmly, it doesn’t seem like he wants to do much talking anyways.

but i didn’t mind, our hookups strictly sexual, no romance behind them. sure, he would whisper things into my ear in the heat of the moment, but i knew that it didn’t mean anything, and i didn’t want it to either. despite betraying my boyfriend in the most evil way possible, i didn’t want to end things with him, somehow still feeling something towards him though he could never pleasure me the way tom does.

without breaking the kiss, tom’s hands hook around my thighs, lifting me upwards as i instinctively wrap my legs around his waist, our lips moving against each other’s as he carries me to his bedroom, my hands locked around his neck, arms resting on his shoulders.

my back collides with the bed as he places me onto it, his hand flush against my back for support as he falls onto it with me, our lips never breaking, his body now on top of mine. he clearly doesn’t want to tease me, his hands finding the bottom of my hoodie, pulling it off and leaving it somewhere on his carpet, leaving me in only my shorts and small pink bra. he smirks at my lack of clothing, drinking it all in whilst his fingers play with the waistband of my shorts. he takes them off too, seeing that my panties match the bra, his tongue moving to the corner of his mouth.

“all this for me, hm?” he smirks, moving my thighs apart and leaning downwards, cupping my breasts in his hands, squeezing them slightly as i let out a small moan, blushing at his words and nodding my head. “i bet he doesn’t touch you like i do, get you to put in all this effort for him.”

tom continues to taunt me, the mention of my boyfriend causing my heart to wrench, guilt settling in my stomach as it is enough to remind me how much of a bad person i am. but, the second tom pulls his t-shirt off, revealing his toned frame, adorned with muscle in all the right places, his abs on full display, any thought of my boyfriend is long gone, my eyes and mind only focused on what is in front of me - the view admittedly far better than anything he could ever give.

tom reconnects our lips, his tongue entering my mouth, hips beginning to grind against mine at a torturously slow pace, hands moving to swiftly unclip my bra. i start to become impatient, fingers toying with the waistband of his jeans as i scramble for the button, undoing them as his zipper follows. he sees that i am struggling, tugging them down himself and letting his boxers come off with them.

he moves my panties to the side, not even bothering to pull them down, before sliding into me, a long moan escaping from my lips as i feel him stretch my walls, already feeling so full.

“so fucking tight, always so good.” he mutters, his forehead against mine, his breath tickling my nose as he speaks, a choked moan sounding from his lips as he is fully inside. he waits a second, studying my expression, gauging that i am okay as he almost pulls out fully, before slamming into me unexpectedly.

my breathing is heavy, body glistening with sweat as i hold onto him, my hands raking down his back as his pace speeds up, becoming more fast and relentless. i am so far gone, in too much pleasure to even process anything that is happening around me - including the sound of my phone beginning to ring.

tom, however, notices immediately, picking it up from the bedside table whilst still thrusting into me, my eyes following his movements as i am too lost in ecstasy to ask what he is doing. he turns the phone, showing me who is calling. my eyes widen as i shake my head, signalling for him to put it down, not wanting him to stop.

“answer it.” is all he says, passing the phone to me, one hand on my hips, helping him to move in and out of me easier, whilst the other holds the phone to my ear. he accepts the call, smirking as my boyfriend’s voice can faintly be heard.

“baby? hey, uh, i just got home from work. where are you?” he asks, tom nodding his head, gesturing for me to speak. a knowing smirk spreads across his face as he speeds up his thrusts, my teeth sinking into my lips to prevent a moan that is dangerously close to spilling from them.

“h-hey love.” i pant, trying to sound nonchalant, failing miserably as i feel tom hit my g-spot, a muffled whine sounding from the back of my throat.

“what are you doing? you okay?” my boyfriend asks, his tone laced with confusion.

“sorry uh- my back is sore, the usual.” i manage to get out, quickly closing my mouth as tom stares into my eyes, enjoying the way i struggle, showing no sympathy as he only drills into me faster. “i’m- i’m at my mom’s house.”

the excuse is terrible, tom furrowing his brows once i utter the words, making me realise how unbelievable it is. but, he finds my lack of thought amusing, smiling a little before resting his head in the crook of my neck, planting rough, open-mouthed kisses there. i sigh out in response, quickly covering my mouth as i mentally curse my self.

“your mom’s place? what are you doing there? it’s like nearly midnight.” my boyfriend responds, clearly hesitant to buy my excuse.

“yeah, family emergency. i-i’ll…be home in the morning-” i have to stop my speech, pursing my lips shut as a moan is dangerously close to sounding from them.

tom smirks against my neck, goosebumps forming on the skin whilst his lips curve into a slight smile.

“look at you. getting fucked whilst your boyfriend is on the phone.” tom mutters, his voice low as he makes sure that his words can’t be made out through the phone. “so wrong. but you love it, don’t you, hm? fucking slut.”

tom continues to taunt me, paying attention to the way i bite my lip, or place my tongue on the roof of my mouth, even squeeze his upper arms, anything to stop any noise from coming out of my mouth, desperate to stay undetected.

“what? is everything okay?” my boyfriend asks, showing concern as he tries to extend the situation, much to my annoyance, unable to keep this up for much longer, wanting nothing more than to cry out in pleasure. “should i come-”

“no!” i quickly say, a little harsher than i initially intended to, the utterance a mix of desperation and an attempt to hold back a moan, the combination coming out as an abrupt plea. “i mean- she, she’s just…a little overwhelmed.”

tom begins to kiss the skin below my ear, biting at it gently, knowing this spot drives me crazy, and once i shiver a little, he knows that he has me right where he wants me, changing his thrusts a little as the new angle causes a familiar knot to build in my stomach.

“could he make you feel like this, hm? only i can, right baby?” he whispers, knowing the effect that he has on me, no need for me to verbalise it, the way my eyes screw shut at his movements enough to confirm it. “so needy, letting me do this to you whilst he can hear. if only he knew…”

his words against my neck combined with the new angle makes the urge to moan almost unbearable as i bite down onto tom’s shoulder, a low grunt escaping his mouth at my unexpected action. yet it only fuels his stamina as he chuckles under his breath, enjoying the effect he has on me, the thrill of the entire situation turning him on even more.

“oh, just, let me know if you need anything okay? i love you.” my boyfriend says, finally wrapping up the conversation as i sigh in relief, feeling at ease as i have somehow managed to pull this off.

but tom clearly isn’t satisfied with how i have managed to stay quiet, desperate to get some sort of noise out of me, and, he knows exactly how to do that. one hand still holding the phone to my ear, he moves his other downwards, using it to rub circles on my clit whilst thrusting in and out of me. and that is all it takes for a restricted moan to leave my lips, unable to be mistaken for anything else. i know that i am in deep shit.

“what the fuck was that? what’s going on? are you fucking someone?” my boyfriend asks, his voice raising as he has finally picked up on what is going on.

“w-what? are you crazy? of course not!” i quickly say, panting through my words, no longer able to hide it, knowing that i am completely fucked.

“don’t fucking bullshit me! where the fuck are you? i can’t believe this, you’re fucking cheating on me? i swear to fucking god once i find-”

his furious rambling is cut off as tom ends the call, turning my phone off and throwing it somewhere on the bed, his hand now running up and down my waist.

“i did you a favour. he was fucking annoying anyways.” tom breathes out, a satisfied grin tugging on his lips, only faltering once he reconnects them with mine, the hurt of what had just happened never sinking in, tom’s movements more than enough to make me forget.

requests are open! keep sending them in!!

#tom kaulitz #tokiohotel #tom kaulitz x reader #kaulitz #tom kaulitz smut #kaulitz twins #tomkaulitz #tom kaulitz angst #tom kaulitz fluff #bill kaulitz

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night-dazai · 4 months

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The Demon Never Died - 3

Dazai X Reader

Synopsis: You were rescued and now both you and Dazai are scared thinking that the other person hates the other only to find the truth and for Dazai to realise another fact about his pretty sweet soft gf. When she said she had her won share of madness and trauma she was not kidding .

Word count : 2008

It has been how long you had no idea but all you knew was that your hands hurt very badly and you are sure they would leave a mark “Finally “ you said removing the rope from your feet. The fear in you has not left but since no one has come into that room you were brave enough to remove the rope and look around. “Thank god I was not cuffed to bed or something .” you mumbled, the room was tiny the moment anyone opened the door they could see one big white bed one nightstand with a heart-shaped lamp on it and a door to the right “bathroom, “ you said closing it . The tiny screen near the door was now black and no voices were also heard so with nothing to listen you opened the nightstand near the bed the only other furniture in the room “ wh-” you turned to the sound of the door throwing open. “ This is kinda nice why not sell her?” one said coming in while the other man closed the door . The black-haired man walked towards you as you fell back on the bed and chuckled seeing the fear in your eyes “ we did not even tell him much he surrendered, why does he love you so much ?” he asked grabbing your chin in a harsh pull . His nasty breath was close to your nose “wha..” you mumbled thinking about what he could mean . “ what else Dazai said he will surrender and we let you go “ the other red hair said opening the door “ we said we will send her back intact and we should “ .The man holding your chin opened your mouth with force and popped a pill in as he dragged you out “ Dazai …why .why would he” you mumbled feeling tired and soon slumped as they dragged you .

Dazai stood in the warehouse for the past 20 minutes tapping his feet impaitinetly “ what is taking them so long “ he mumbled as his mind raced a million of things they could do to you . The sweet , innocent flower you were and he knew you had never faced anything like this ever . Naomi placed a hand on his shoulder “calm down we are just early “ . As she finished talking a car pulled up at the opening, Dazai and Naomi both turned to see 6 men come out of 2 cars and one held you mouth tied hands cuffed and red . Dazai’s blood boiled “ come here “ one of the man with black hair said looking like the leader he stood in the middle as the red hair behind him was removing the cloth from your mouth “DAZAI GET OUT !” you shouting making everyone look at you suprised. Dazai’s eyes widened “ get out and dont you dare surrender “ you shouted struggling from the man grasp. Before Dazai could get a word out SLAP! the leader-looking guy spoke “ shut up before it goes south “ he grabbed your hair and made you kneel putting a knife to your neck “ come here Dazai before this thing is dead “. You were still crying, you could not see much due to the tears and your head felt dizzy . You were sure your lips were bleeding. “No” was all you hear Dazai say , you looked up with hazy eyes and now saw many people dressed in black.

The men around you struggled to understand the situation. Taking their guns out the were ready , the guy tugged your hair harder making it hurt a lot more “ She is de-” A bullet hit his leg and hand making him fall to the said limp and scream. All you do was be still and shake in fear as bullets rained making all the men near you fall dead . Your taers was running like a river. Feeling a hand on your eyes you flinched “ y/n ..its me “ you opened your eyes to see you lover kneeling in front of you . You flung yourself on him “ whyy..whyyy” you shouted and kept crying as Dazai held you tightly running small circles on your back “ i am sorry y/n “ was the last thing you heard before fainting.

Jun'ichirō snapped his fingers and all the illusions of the military men was gone, Kunikida showed up with a sniper gun with Kenji next to him “The majority are injured very much “ he said giving his sunshine smile but the moment he saw you his face went blank . “can i take-” Dazai stopped him “ thanks but i would like to have alone time with them while the government comes here“ he said handing you gently to his partner whom he trusts with all his heart. Dazai pushed a strand of your hair behind your ear “Make sure she is alright i will be joining you people soon after Ango comes here” his voice was falt with no emotion other than his trembling hand on your face he watched as Kenji, Jun'ichirō and Kunikida walked out . “Now … i told you i would surrender without any problem and was honestly thinking about letting you guys to get your revenge on me “ he cracked his knuckles and neck.

Anger was visible in his face and his voice was strong and scary the 6 men trembled “ i left this all back years go i did but i nerve said i will not do it “ his head titled to the side looking like a psycho Dazai smiled at his prey he removed his brown trench coat , walking towards the corner in the warehouse he came back wearing a thick black coat “ Please allow me to show you my old tricks “ he said bowing dramatically smiling sending chills down the men on the floor already bleeding.

Ango stood outside the warehouse with his men for the past 40 mins mostly cause after 5 mins of his arrival he could hear horrified screams form the other side and knew “lets wait here “ he told his men and waited . Dazai opened the door after a few more mins “ Ya!! Ango , you are here early “ Dazai said back to his cheery voice and goofy aura but this appearance did not match them. A black coat replaced the brown coat he stood blood splashed all over him , pure white bandages soaked in blood “ yeah now you just gave me more work of treating them “ he said adjusting his specs.

Giggling Dazai patted Ango’s shoulder “ well you are good at it right , this is off record “ his voice suddenly went cold saying the last part . Before he got a reply Dazai’s phone rang “ y/n woke up and said she wanted to go back to your shared house she is treated but refused to stay the agency “ Dazai hummed in response hanging up walked back home , a place he thought he could never have .

It has been 2 hours since you woke up and cried for sold 30 mins on the agency couch you said you wanted to go home. Kunikida against it let you go with Athushi when Ranpo told it would be better for you that way. The moment you came back in you dropped to the floor crying hard your mind revolving all horrible images, “why Dazai was not next to you when you woke up , did he think they did something to you ? was his disgusted or was he hurt ? his hands were tied ….yet crying you walked into the room and practically pulled a bunch of his shirts and made a pile of out it to sit and cry till your lover came in . Soon it turned into little sobs while you thought about other things " what happened to those men ? is it alright for me to imagine them being hurt ? " and that's when your brain hit it . Dazai might do it but "his hands were tied and they might be high profile criminals what if samu gets hurt ?" and the thought just made you sob more

Dazai stood outside the apt door wondering in what stay would he find you , what can he say , will you wan to break up , will you hate him. His still opened the door uttering your name softly but found that all random lights were on but you were not in the hall or kitchen he walked worried and scared to the bedroom you both share. The sight in front of him made his heart and whole body clench in pain and guilt seeing your plight wearing one of his shirts and lying on the rest crying your heart out. “Y/n ?” his soft voice made you look at him in fear, more than anything else he hurt at the way you reacted “Any can just kill or torture me “ he thought and walked towards you seeing how you got up and opened your arms like a 5 years old asking for a hug but with bandaged wrists . “Sorry dear ..please…dont cryyy” he said hugging you while soothing your hair “pleasee you are making me cry too” he mumbled with wet eyes “Dazai…dont cry” you still mumbled hiding your face in his chest and there you both sat crying on each other for a while before both of you calm down and soon your rational minds started functioning.

“Here “ he said handing you a cup of white tea “Thank you “ you mumbled and pulled closer ot him as he sat down next to you . “Why would you shout something like that y/n ?” Dazai got right to point starting at you with dark eyes filled with nothing but worry “Cause its true “ you said pouting and sipping your tea “ dont ever i mean ever sacrifice yourself for me you never know i might be worth it “ you said sipping your tea and turned the tv for distcartion. “Why..” his voice broken making you turn to see his eyes getting wet again “ Osamu..” you mumbled and held his hand “Just like how you hate to see me hurt i also do not want to see you hurt i will say this again and again but please i want to be with you if you allow me . If you still like me..” your last sentence facing make the brunette look at you with the question “ why would i not like you ?” you fumbled with your hands “ well..i was kidnapped ..for a while you might know what they did ..” you said softly but panicked feeling his hand go hard “no..i mean they did not do anything to me please trust me!” you also said most begging him .

Dazai could not take anymore his heart and body felt tired “ why ..why in the world would i doubt you love, i know and even if they did something they would be dead and “ he held both your hands tightly getting down on his knees “ i am sorry sorry that you had to go through something like that “ sincerity filled his voice and eyes looking at you his hands trembled yet he held yours tightly. Smiling you bumped your foreheads “ Samu you recall what i told you when you asked why i chose you ?” your voice now normal and cheery, he nodded without blinking you “ you took the coat off ok but your shirt ? , you jaw “ you said tracing the staring and sharp bone “ see blood “ you said showing you finers. Embrassed he looked away but you forced his chin back to you “ i know they are off the hook “ your eyes dug deep into his smiling “ did they beg ?” you asked. Confused for a min Dazai looked at you and blinked understanding the meaning he giggled kissing your hands “ yes dear, they begged a lot to die “You kissed his forehead “ good , see this is why dont be sorry and get up i feel cold “ you said pulling him up .

You snuggled into his arms and that's when he realised you were not some innocent little flower who knew nothing about the world, he never took it seriously when Ranpo said the way you watched gore was different now he knew, you might be naive and foolish and sweet and kind but under them hid something and he also realised that you could see right into his soul from the first time he saw you he realised “ you saw that the demon never died right ?” he asked. You poped your head from his chest and smiled back the sweetest smile “ yes “

Thank you for reading this i was supposed to write a smut scene but will do it separately.

If you have any specific requests do send them to me.

If there are any mistakes please do mention them for me to correct them in the future.

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the-dumpster-fire-of-life · 1 year

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Could you do Bill and reader having a fat “what are we” moment after hooking up in his hotel room after a concert in 2008? (Reader is also in the band)

(Hey! Sure I can, enjoy! Also this is kinda a scenario to my commitment Issues reader I did sorta)

What The Fuck Are We

A lot could explain how you both ended up here, Bill's head in your lap, barely dressed as you wore his shirt, both lying in the same bed once more.

It was a dance, really.

Friends with benefits, you said. Bill was alright with it, kisses, exchanged glances and hidden touches.

But as he lay with you after another night in the sheets, the feeling of wanting more kept eating at him.

"You okay?" Bill asked, almost a whisper as he held your hand that once played with his hair, kissing your palm as he looked up at you.

"I'm okay, Bill. You always do that." You smiled, laughing at his question he always asked every time.

"It's the least I can do." Bill sighed as he sat up, watching you shake your head at him before moving to slip out the sheets.

Bill wanted to reach for you, he did, but you never stayed, and he knew that.

Bill couldn't help but glance a few times as you got dressed, not missing the way you snagged his shirt and threw it on.

"You sure you have to leave?" Bill asked once again, seeing the way you paused for a moment as you sighed.

"You know the answer to that. You treat it like it's a relationship." You shook off once more, Bill standing up off the bed, thankfully having boxers on.

"Then what is it?" Bill questioned quickly, can't help but to finally ask the question that got him a look, the slight annoyance and pull in his chest fueling his words.

"Don't do that." You scoffed, fixing your hair in the mirror to not get caught looking suspicious leaving his room.

"Don't do what?" Bill scoffed back, used to but fed up by your behavior, knowing you knew how he felt, but continued to act as if it was nothing.

"Seriously, (Name). Are we dating? Are we fucking? Or are we just 'best friends', cause I don't even know!" Bill practically yelled, watching as you turned finally to face him.

"I don't know, Bill!" You yelled, mere feet from him as you watched his mere anger fade away to confusion.

"This way you can at least have something from me and I can have something from you without shit getting in the way." You said, your own issues stopping you from want could be.

"I want more, (Name). Do you not want to be with me?" Bill asked, hurt but wanting an answer, pointing at himself.

"I didn't say that." You refused to look at Bill, crossing your arms over your chest as if it could defend you.

"Then why won't you admit it?" Bill asked gently, stepping closer to you, hoping you wouldn't walk out that door.

You stayed silent for a moment before you felt Bill take your hand, using his finger to tilt your chin to look at him.

"Are you afraid to get hurt? Like you did with him?" Bill asked, searching your face for an answer as he finally got it, having seen the damage your ex left behind first hand.

Bill took your silence as a yes, and the way your eyes looked away and slightly flooded, he knew it was true.

"I wouldn't hurt you. I never would." Bill muttered, giving the best smile he could for your reassurance.

"...How am I supposed to know that?" You asked, your voice weaker through emotions, but still as strong as it was, which was something Bill loved about you.

"Can't you let me prove it?" Bill asked, waiting for an answer as he cupped your face with his hands, the intimacy something more than what you guys used to share.

You didn't answer, looking over his face for any search of a lie or a reason to not let him in in the way you feared, afraid of being hurt once more or a reason to walk out the door.

You didn't find one.

Bill took his chance, locking his lips with yours in a kiss, one more intimate and passionate than the ones he gifted you from before, one that would seal it.

And as you kissed Bill, and as he held you there, for some reason you could finally feel something worth possibly being hurt for.

Because it meant being with Bill

#tokio hotel #tokio hotel x reader #tokio hotel imagine #bill kaulitz #bill kaulitz imagines #bill kaulitz x reader #bill

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mizgnomer · 1 year

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Behind the Scenes - The Stolen Earth/Journey’s End (Part 18)

Excerpts from The Writer’s Tale - The Final Chapter

From Russell T. Davies to Benjamin Cook, Thursday 31 January 2008

I know what’s really preying on my mind, though, and stopping me moving onto the Christmas Special. Julie said, ‘That scene on Bad Wolf Bay isn’t working, is it?’ And she’s absolutely right. I love a good note, because it’s like someone has articulated the voice at the back of your head. That scene doesn’t work. I have always known that, from the moment I typed it out, but I don’t know how to fix it. [...] The hardest thing of all in that scene - and Billie might yet have problems with it - is getting Rose to walk away from the TARDIS in the first place. That, indeed, is the problem with the whole scene, that Rose has to act out of character to stay on Bad Wolf Bay. She’s utterly, marvellously selfish, and would push past anyone to get to her Doctor.

From Russell T. Davies to Benjamin Cook, Saturday 9 Febuary 2008

[Russell has a bad case of the chicken pox...] I’m itchy, scratchy and tired, and I still have to rewrite 4.13. And I just realized my plan to make the Bad Wolf Bay scene work - the one involving Voidstuff - won’t work, because I’d forgotten that Mickey has to be free to stay in our universe. Bollocks. Julie’s upset. She’s saying, ‘Leave Mickey in the parallel universe,’ and I’m saying, ‘Too late! We promised Noel that we’d bring him back in Torchwood Series Three.’

From Russell T. Davies to Benjamin Cook, Monday 18 February 2008

The Bad Wolf Bay scene still isn’t working, but do you know what? No one’s giving me good notes on it, when they should, so sod it. It’s slightly better now, and I’ve cut the kiss between Rose and Doctor #2, but it still sucks.

From Russell T. Davies to Benjamin Cook, Saturday 1 March 2008

I’ve rewritten Bad Wolf Bay again. Finally, I’ve got it right!

Basically, I’ve given more of the decision to Rose, put her in control, and used that control to push away the original Doctor. And the kiss is back in! Then the scene finishes as before: Rose saying, ‘No - !’, as the TARDIS fades away. Doctor #2 taking her hand, and a wide shot of the now-empty beach. Julie is happy, David is happy, phew, good. Series Four, final rewrite, done.

From Benjamin Cook to Russell T. Davies, Saturday 1 March 2008

Never mind Julie and David... are you happy with it, Russell?

From Russell T. Davies to Benjamin Cook, Saturday 1 March 2008

I am delighted. That is such a weight off my mind. Knowing it wasn’t working was driving me mad. It hung over me, during Chicken Pox Fortnight. Literally, all the time. I tell you what helped: I watched the footage of the 4.12/4.13 read-through. They filmed it for Doctor Who Confidential, then edited it together fast so that I could see it - and they had to read the first draft of 4.13, because that’s all I had written. It was so slow! I could see what worked and what didn’t, and I realized how good the kiss was, but equally that the kiss had no consequence. That’s why it wasn’t earning its place. But it’s obvious, in the end, isn’t it? The scene is about Rose choosing between two Doctors. So, on the last draft, finally, I’ve written clearly, obviously, Rose making that choice. Rose is in control.

The rushes have helped, too. When Rose is in the TARDIS with Doctor #2, Billie is looking at him with sheer lust. As only Billie can do! That, too, puts the power into Rose’s hands. The mechanics start to work...

Link to [ part one ] of the Stolen Earth/Journey’s End Behind-the-scenes posts or click the #whoBtsStolen tag, or the full episode list [ here ]

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skyscratch-wc · 5 months

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WC Skyfall AU Timeline: From The Skyfall to The Light in the Mist

This is a draft timeline for the Skyfall AU outline. All dates are approximate and subject to change.

Winter 1920 - Skyclan is exiled from the forest after human settlement drives them from their home territory. The remaining clans refuse to aid the homeless clan and Skyclan leaves the forest. Only Birdflight, the mate of Cloudstar of Skyclan, and their kittens remain behind. Skyclan vows to never turn to Starclan again, causing the formation of the Skypaws, which becomes Skyclan's ancestral skies.

Spring 1921 - Skyclan arrives at the gorge. Cloudstar dies soon after, the stress of the events in the forest and the subsequent journey catching up to him. Buzzardstar is named leader.

1938-1940 - The Thunderclan Civil War fought between the Cloudstar and Redstar's descendants within Thunderclan. The result is the death of many warriors and the Thunderclan leader (and Cloudstar descendant), Yarrowstar, and the formation of the Skybloods as a group within Thunderclan.

Summer 1950 - Amberstar of Thunderclan becomes the first true Skyblood leader of Thunderclan. Her descendants (Birdstar, Oakstar, Pinestar, Tigerstar of Shadowclan, and Bramblestar) would lead Thunderclan for the majority of the next several decades.

1958 - Birdstar of Thunderclan and Frondstar of Shadowclan begin leading raids into the town, kidnapping kits in the process. These raids would continue through the reigns of the leaders' successors Oakstar and Houndstar.

1975 - Mapleshade's Vengeance takes place. Darkstar of Riverclan, upset at Oakstar for damning the kittens along with the mother, adds a law to the warrior code: Kittens are to be protected, regardless of their origins or the actions of their kin.

"Mapleshade may have been the one to bring those kittens to the river, but they would not have been there had it not been for your rashness, Oakstar. Kittens are not to be blamed for the actions of their kin."

1984 - Pinestar's Choice begins

1985 - Doestar of Thunderclan ends the raids on the town and establishes friendly, although fragile, relations with the cats of the town.

1986 - Goosefeather's Curse begins [this may be scrapped-- I am not a big fan of this novella or it's implications for future events]

1989 - Yellowfang's Secret and Tallstar's Revenge begin

1991 - Pinestar becomes leader of Thunderclan

1994 - Bluestar's Prophecy and Crookedstar's Promise begin

1996 - Pinestar leaves Thunderclan to become a house-cat, abandoning his family in the process. Leopardfoot, his ex-mate, suggests a new law for the code in her anger: A noble warrior rejects the life of a house-cat and will lay down their life in service of their clan

1997 - Tallstar becomes leader of Windclan and Leopardstar's Honor begins.

Winter 1998 - Blueflame [Bluefur/Bluestar] gives birth to Mistykit, Stonekit, and Mosskit in Thunderclan. Mistykit and Stonekit are given to their father, Oakheart of Riverclan, while Mosskit passes away on the trip to the river. Blueflame is named deputy of Thunderclan.

2000 - Redtail's Debt and Spottedleaf's Heart begin. Crookedstar becomes leader of Riverclan.

2001 - Bluestar becomes leader of Thunderclan.

Spring 2003 - Rusty the Kittypet joins Thunderclan as Firepaw. Windclan is driven from the forest by Brokenstar.

Summer 2003 - Brokenstar is driven out of Shadowclan.

Early Fall 2003 - Fireheart and Graystripe help bring Windclan home after they are driven out by Brokenstar.

2005 - Tigerclaw is exiled from Thunderclan. Fireheart is named deputy of Thunderclan.

2006 - Firestar becomes leader of Thunderclan. The Darkest Hour takes place.

2007 - Firestar's Quest takes place. Skyclan is re-established in the gorge, albeit with very different structure from the Forest Four due to a prolonged time apart. Leafstar is made leader of the newly refounded clan, with Sharpclaw as her deputy and Echosong as her cleric.

2008 - The New Prophecy begins

2009 - the clans arrive at The Lake. Leafpool discovers the Moonpool

2009 - Windclan Civil War takes place after Tallstar's death. Peatstar [Onestar] is named leader of Windclan.

2010 - Leopardstar passes away and Mistystar becomes leader of Riverclan.

2011 - The Three are born to Leafpool of Thunderclan. Her sister, Squirrelflight, adopts the kittens and presents them to the clan as her own. In reality, Lionkit is the son of Leafpool and Mothwing of Riverclan while Jaykit and Hollykit are the kits of Leafpool and Crowfeather of Windclan.

2013 - The Battle of the Eclipse takes place.

Spring 2014 - Hollyleaf reveals the truth of the Three's parentage at a gathering and murders Ashfur before fleeing into the tunnels.

Summer 2014 - The Fourth Apprentice takes place.

Summer 2016 - The Battle of the Dark Forest takes place. Blackstar of Shadowclan dies in the battle and Tawnystar becomes leader of Shadowclan. Firestar of Thunderclan also dies in the battle and Bramblestar becomes leader of Thunderclan.

2018 - The Apprentice's Quest takes place

2019 - Darktail and The Kin arrive at the Lake

Fall 2019 - Tawnystar is killed attempting to drive Darktail away from the lake. Shadowclan is temporarily leaderless.

2020 - Darktail is killed by his estranged father, Peatstar. Harestar becomes leader of Windclan and Goldenstar becomes leader of Shadowclan.

2021 - Lost Stars takes place.

2022 - Ashfur is defeated. A shaken Bramblestar steps down from leadership and Squirrelstar becomes leader of Thunderclan.

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A few notes to make:

Bluefur is now Blueflame

Tigerheart is now Goldenheart (I hated that he was named Tiger to begin with)

Squirrelstar becomes leader several books earlier

The prequels have been shuffled around a little bit in order to better match the cats ages in TPB

Leader deaths have been moved around a lot on the timeline. Some leaders live wayyyyyy too long

I added a large time period between Cloudstar's Journey and Mapleshade's Vengeance. The clans need time to forget that Skyclan existed.

Please let me know if I have made any glaring mistakes in terms of seasons -- I haven't re-read any books recently other than The Prophecies Begin, which I read a few weeks ago. I am mostly relying on my memory of the books, knowledge gained from tumblr, and the wiki.

I likely won't do a ton of work on anything past OotS, since that is the last arc I fully read when I was reading the books as a teenager.

A timeline for DotC through to The Skyfall will be posted eventually

#warrior cats #wc skyfall au #warrior cats timeline

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bethanydelleman · 1 year

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Margaret Dashwood: Is it canon?

Short answer: Margaret Dashwood basically isn’t in the book, so it’s all fanon. She is mentioned 36 times total. Compare that to Mrs. Jennings at 234 and Mrs. Charlotte Palmer at 62.

Margaret Dashwood has a tree fort, a favourite atlas, sword fights with Edward, wants to be a pirate, has a pony, does puppetry, hides under things, etc.

Fanon (I’m using this term to cover adaptations and JAFF), not canon. Here is the sum total of stuff we know about Margaret: Margaret, the other sister, was a good-humored, well-disposed girl; but as she had already imbibed a good deal of Marianne’s romance, without having much of her sense, she did not, at thirteen, bid fair to equal her sisters at a more advanced period of life.

Margaret Dashwood literally has no possessions mentioned in the novel. Also, unless he actually paid for it, Edward stole that atlas.

Margaret Dashwood bonds with Edward

Fanon, not canon. The only time we know that Margaret even speaks to Edward is when she opens the discussion on what they would do if they were all rich. Edward never actually replies to Margaret and he only mentions Marianne and Elinor in his speech

“I wish,” said Margaret, striking out a novel thought, “that somebody would give us all a large fortune apiece!”

“Oh that they would!” cried Marianne, her eyes sparkling with animation, and her cheeks glowing with the delight of such imaginary happiness.

“We are all unanimous in that wish, I suppose,” said Elinor, “in spite of the insufficiency of wealth.”

“Oh dear!” cried Margaret, “how happy I should be! I wonder what I should do with it!”

Marianne looked as if she had no doubt on that point.

“I should be puzzled to spend so large a fortune myself,” said Mrs. Dashwood, “if my children were all to be rich without my help.”

“You must begin your improvements on this house,” observed Elinor, “and your difficulties will soon vanish.”

“What magnificent orders would travel from this family to London,” said Edward, “in such an event! What a happy day for booksellers, music-sellers, and print-shops! You, Miss Dashwood, would give a general commission for every new print of merit to be sent you—and as for Marianne, I know her greatness of soul, there would not be music enough in London to content her. And books!—Thomson, Cowper, Scott—she would buy them all over and over again: she would buy up every copy, I believe, to prevent their falling into unworthy hands; and she would have every book that tells her how to admire an old twisted tree. Should not you, Marianne? Forgive me, if I am very saucy. But I was willing to show you that I had not forgot our old disputes.”

Margaret is not mentioned again in this conversation.

Margaret is rude to Fanny Dashwood

Fanon, not canon. Margaret doesn’t even have quoted speech until the Dashwoods are settled in Barton. I can’t even find an instance of Marianne being rude to Fanny or John, though we know she dislikes both of them.

What the heck is canon?

Margaret plays a few important roles. She that lets slip that Elinor has a lover left behind at Norland whose name is “F” to Sir John and Mrs. Jennings. Margaret is also the one who saw Willoughby request a lock of hair from Marianne, which she tells to Elinor. Margaret is also the one walking with Marianne when Marianne falls and is saved by Willoughby. She is the one who romantically calls Willoughby, “Marianne’s preserver”.

Her presence at home allows Marianne and Elinor to travel to London without leaving their mother to be lonely.

I think it is clever to use Margaret to make Edward more of a fleshed out character, but it’s not actually in the novel. Edward only says one single line of speech before the Dashwoods leave for Barton, this is it: “Devonshire! Are you, indeed, going there? So far from hence! And to what part of it?” For a visual medium, this just doesn’t work. You need to do something with Edward and both 1995 and 2008 used Margaret to help with the Edward problem.

#margaret dashwood #fanon or canon #sense and sensibility #jane austen is a genius #edward ferrars

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paramorearchived · 21 days

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August 24, 2010

Transcript:

it's been long enough...

lordy, where do i start!? miss you guys. the honda civic tour has been one of the coolest tours that we've ever put together. not only because of the size of the crowds but the fact that we have been able to pull off a bigger show, with all the fancy production (never thought it'd happen!) as well as having a line up that is so diverse, i feel like there's a band for anyone and everyone who comes out to the show. we've been having a blast.

right now, we have about a week off of it. and i'm sitting on my living room floor gawking at the TV and everything that is blowing my mind on the new season of True Blood. total vampire anarchy. that's what's going down in my house today! if i could count all the times i've heard "f*** authority" in the last couple hours i'd be so punk rock, i'd hurt. but anyways, this season is intense. i can barely keep up! between this and dexter coming out in a month my spare time is all booked and busy. which shows are you into right now? anything i should check out? (ps, chad is buying the box set of Lost and i'm going to start that sometime soon!)

the weather at home is so perfect right now. i feel really lucky to come home to a place that is so beautiful. sometimes it's sad to leave and go out on the road, missing everything that happens here - but honestly, it's nice to miss the things that you love once in a while. so you never forget to appreciate it. hopefully, i can say this without sounding like a preacher but... remember to enjoy EVERYTHING. the things that feel good, the things that hurt, rejection, acceptance.. it's all going to make you better. stronger. and more like yourself. every once in a while i get a reminder of how much i'm okay with just being me. i know that sounds ridiculous. cause i'm in this band. we're lucky. we got successful. but who i am is still this nerdy, silly, flamethrower of a person. and it took me 20 years to see that and get it and love it. now, that i'm home for a few days, seeing some friends and spending some good time alone... with myself... i got one of those reminders:

found one of my old journals. from right around the time we were heading out on tour with NFG in the UK early 2008. i started reading it and couldn't help but cry a little bit. cause that person was really confused. and very lost. and as it went on, the person behind the pen seemed to get a little bit stronger.. that part felt good. it was the reminder that i needed that right now i'm as strong as ever. there really isn't a point to telling you all of this. except maybe i want to thank you. cause you are a constant reminder. that i'm not as lost as i once was.

okay, Hoyt from True Blood is cute and distracting. so i'm going to finish watching this episode. hopefully i'll be back soon! but definitely follow my tumblr if you want more consistent updates. it's easier to post pictures and what not from the road. ok. Hoyt. gotta run!

love you guys. SEE YOU AT READING AND LEEDS! hayley

#paramore #hayley williams #2010 #livejournal

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tattywritingsonthewall · 10 months

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Chapter 1: The Beginning.

I know this took me forever. I was dealing with some personal family issues and I found myself in a writing rut. I also re-wrote this whole thing a bunch of times. It’s a long one. It takes place in 2008, before she finished Fearless. Note: I am NOT saying any of this is true or that I believe it is. It IS a fanfiction after all. There is some belief that they did meet on MySpace… do I think it happened like I wrote? No. But let me have my writing.

I don’t own anyone in this little world I write in. I would never want to own anyone. Please excuse if the writing is off - PCS sucks. I was listening to Robbers & Long Live a lot when i got inspired to go this direction. There’s a lot of references in here…. Kudos if you can find them. I WILL be putting this on Archive once I figure out how….

Enjoy!

Taylor's heart raced in her chest; a mixture of panic and longing engulfed her. She wished for Matty to enclose her in his arms and tell her the things she had been too terrified to voice. But as time passed, she became more scared that he didn't care about her at all—all the emotions she'd believed they shared were just a silly online romance with an emerging country star that he could brag to his mates back home about.

Taylor and Matty had met on MySpace a few months earlier. At first, she could hardly believe that he had responded to her message but as they talked more and exchanged messages on AOL messenger, Taylor slowly grew closer to him. Despite the thousand of miles separating them, it felt as if they were meant to be together. But when Taylor suggested meeting up in person, she was filled with a strange mix of apprehension and excitement. She knew it was a daring move to ask him to fly all the way from England, but without hesitation, he agreed. Could their relationship survive the distance once he went back home? What if he made it as a musician too? These questions, and more raced through Taylor’s mind as she nervously awaited his arrival.

He psyched himself up by running through every detail of her in his mind. Every single lock of hair, the crinkles around her eyes when she laughed, and the upturned corners of her lips when she saw him. Even though their webcams weren't top-of-the-line, he could tell that she was exquisite. Her voice sounded like a sweet melody, but looked like an angel descended from above. He thought about meeting her in person for days on end, until her image was branded onto his brain. Once he finally looked upon her with his own eyes, he knew there would be no going back; he'd either make it work with her or die trying.

Taylor was dressed in black denim shorts and a black, ribbed tank top. She pulled her blonde hair into a ponytail and her sunglasses shielding her eyes from the bright June sun. The shorts had tears at the knees that exposed light skin, while the straps of the top rested on her shoulders, leaving most of her back bare.

Matty stepped off the plane, taking in the new environment with wide eyes. The heat of the sun felt like a soothing blanket on his skin and he smiled as he walked forward, towards the woman who had been in his thoughts for days. Taylor was just as beautiful as he remembered; her face lit up as she saw him approach the waiting area, her blue eyes sparkling in the sun.

He smiled back at her. His clothes were casual but still stylish—a black My Chemical Romance t-shirt and torn up black skinny jeans that made him look like a rock star. He wore dark sunglasses that concealed his gaze but did not hide the emotion behind it.

Taylor took in every inch of him as they stood there in their moment of silent understanding. She could feel what he felt without having to hear it; they both knew that something extraordinary was happening between them.

And then, the moment arrived. Through the sliding glass doors, Matty emerged. Their eyes met across the sea of faces and a profound recognition washed over Taylor. It was as if she had found a piece of her soul she hadn't known was missing until that moment.Like two magnets, they were drawn to each other. The familiarity of Matty's face, so well-known from their digital interactions, yet so fresh in person, was a mirror reflecting her own emotions. As he got closer, she could see her own joy, anxiety, and anticipation mirrored in his eyes.

"Hi, Taylor," he greeted her, his thick English accent carrying the warmth of their countless online exchanges. Her lips stretched into a genuine smile.

“Hello, Matty,” she responded with a quiver in her voice

Their conversation flowed naturally, as if they were merely picking up from a previous encounter rather than meeting for the first time. It was as if they were two halves of the same soul finally coming together. However, the euphoria of meeting Matty was more than just an intense wave of happiness for Taylor. It was a trigger to a journey of self-discovery. She saw in Matty aspects of herself she had never realized before. The realization was overwhelming, slightly daunting, but also liberating. This moment wasn't just about meeting Matty, it was about finding a part of herself too. As they walked together away from the gate towards her awaiting father, Taylor knew that their shared journey was only just beginning.

They spent the next few weeks exploring the country together as she travelled for her music. He was in absolute awe over everything she was as a performer. As they wandered the cities and towns of the United States, Matty could not help but feel as if he was seeing his old life for the first time through new eyes. As though he had been to these places before--in another lifetime.

Yet, there was something almost magical about the southern town of Nashville. The sun shone hotter on his face here; despite being July, it felt like early summer daybreak on a field of fresh grass, with dew clinging to blades bearing beginnings. Everything around him was still coming into its own.

Their relationship was like a match head, igniting the air around them from the smallest touch or word. They were young and wild, always going out for adventure together. The attraction between them was magnetic; they told each other their secrets and hung on every word, drawing inspiration from one another to live life to the fullest.

Few Weeks After Airport

After her interview, Taylor arrived home, her spirit brimming with excitement. As she approached her house, she spotted Matty sitting under a tree, a notepad in his lap, his hair tussled by the wind.

He looked up, momentarily startled as she bent down and kissed his cheek. "Hey, stranger," she murmured against his skin.

A slow smile spread across his face, "Hey yourself, superstar," he replied before pulling her into a deeper kiss.

The world seemed to pause as they enjoyed their tender moment.

"Let's go for a walk, Matty," Taylor suggested when they broke apart, but he shook his head, his hand already reaching for his forgotten notepad.

"No, let's stay here," he murmured.

Taylor couldn't resist his smile. "My parents are out, and Austin’s with his girlfriend," she revealed. "We've got the house all to ourselves."

Taking the hint, they made their to the living room, unable to contain their eagerness. The glow of the television illuminated their faces in a wild fire of desire, barely pausing for a glance at the movie playing before being drawn back to each other. Their kisses ignited something in Taylor; a craving that could only be filled by Matty deepening with every passing second.

"Matty," Taylor whispered breathlessly between passionate kisses, her heart pounding like thunder in her chest. "Let's... let's go upstairs."

He hesitated for only a moment before nodding, his eyes blazing with unspoken promises and longing. Hand in hand, they leapt up the stairs as if their lives depended on it. In the quiet of the house, their feverish footfalls echoed like drums across the walls. Nothing else mattered. It was just Taylor and Matty, two pieces of one destiny on an path towards eternity – each step bringing them closer than ever before.

As they reached the top of the stairs, Matty's face broke into a playful grin. With a soft laugh, he swooped down and lifted Taylor off her feet as though she were a bride crossing a threshold. She let out a surprised laugh, her arms instinctively wrapping around his neck.

Matty looked into her eyes, his own filled with joy. "You know," he said, his voice low, "when we're older, and we get married, I promise to do that for real."

Taylor's heart fluttered at his words. "Promise?" she asked, her voice barely above a whisper.

Matty nodded, his eyes never leaving hers. "Promise," he affirmed, sealing his vow with a soft kiss on her forehead.

Her room was a sanctuary that reflected Taylor's personality perfectly. The room was a blend of coziness and style, colored in soft pastels and punctuated with bursts of vibrant hues. Vintage posters adorned the walls, paying tribute to her musical influences, while a turntable sat on a side table, a testament to her love for vinyl records. Her guitar rested in one corner, its wooden finish gleaming under the soft glow of the fairy lights strung across the room.

A large bay window overlooked the yard, the tree under which Matty had been writing just a while ago visible in the moonlight. The room held an intimate warmth, the subtle scent of vanilla and old books emanating from various corners, making it a comforting cocoon away from the world.

With the utmost care, Matty laid her down on the large, plush bed covered in a quilt of mismatched patches. The moment her back hit the mattress, she reached up, grabbing him by the shirt and pulling him down to her. Their lips met in a passionate kiss, a promise of the deep connection they shared. There, in the sanctity of her room, under the soft glow of the fairy lights, they lost themselves in each other, the world outside forgotten in the intensity of their shared moment.

As Matty stroked his fingers down her cheek, Taylor leaned in to kiss him. He kissed her slowly and thoroughly, as if he was savoring the taste of strawberries on her lips, or the scent of fresh flowers that had gathered in her hair from one of their many walks in the woods.

Matty pulled back a little, his eyes scanning hers. "I don't want to rush you," he said.

She smiled at him and pulled off her tank top. His hesitation faded away as he read the confidence in her eyes. The touch of cool air against her skin stirred the embers that had grown between them over the past few days. It wasn't just about physical desire, it was about the emotional bond they shared, the spiritual connection that had drawn them together from different parts of the world. They were on this journey together, a journey of deepening their bond and exploring their shared connection. As moonlight bathed the room, they continued to explore this new chapter of their relationship, guided by their mutual respect, love, and a deep understanding.

Many hours later, Taylor and Matty lay in a tight embrace beneath the sheets. Her head rested on his chest, listening to the steady rhythm of his heartbeat until she drifted off to sleep. The two of them held each other tightly, an outward representation of their unspoken connection.

Taylor jolted awake as Matty's breathing changed. His eyes were fixed on her with a strange and mysterious look. The movement had pulled her out of her sleep, and she found herself trying to decipher the expression in his gaze.

The room was silent, only filled with the gentle rustle of the bedsheets and a faint background noise from outside. Suddenly, he spoke up, his voice ringing out with stark emotion that made her heart flutter. "You're my best friend," he declared, his words reverberating in the hushed atmosphere.

In that moment, something clicked inside Taylor. The look in his eyes, the tenderness of his voice, and the depth of his words revealed a truth she had sensed but never fully comprehended. Matty was in love with her, deeply and irrevocably. The realization filled her with a warmth that spread through her entire being, echoing the rhythm of their shared heartbeat under the moonlit sky.

At his confession, her eyes welled up with tears, a mix of joy and profound affection. Without a word, she reached up to him, pressing her lips to his in a passionate kiss, a silent declaration of her own feelings. Matty responded instantly, his arms tightening around her as he kissed her back.

Eventually, he broke the kiss, pulling back to gaze into her eyes. His expression was conflicted, a struggle visible in his eyes as if he wanted to say something but was holding back.

Taylor, noticing his hesitation, found the courage within her to vocalize her own feelings. "I love you, Matty," she said, her voice trembling with the magnitude of her admission. Each word was a leap, a declaration that laid her heart bare to him, echoing the truth she had realized moments ago. And with it, the room filled with a new intensity, a shared confession of love that transcended their previous understanding.

Matty looked at her, stunned at her admission. His eyes searched hers, as if making sure he'd heard her right. Then, his expression softened, a tender smile spreading across his face. The conflict in his eyes melted away, replaced by a depth of love that mirrored hers.

"Oh, Taylor," he breathed, his voice barely a whisper. "I... I love you too." His words, simple yet packed with sincerity, hung in the air between them, binding them even closer.

He cupped her face in his hands, his thumbs wiping away the few tears that had trickled down her cheeks. "I've loved you for a while now," he admitted, his gaze steady on hers. "I've just been scared."

His admission, genuine and heartfelt, resonated with her own feelings. In that intimate space of their shared confessions, they found a deeper understanding of their relationship. Their love, declared and reciprocated, had elevated their bond to a whole new level, further strengthening the powerful connection they already shared.

Taylor absorbed his words, her heart thudding in her chest. She watched him, her eyes bright with unshed tears. It felt as though the air between them was charged, their admissions of love transforming their relationship into something even more profound.

"Matty," she whispered, her voice choked with emotion. She reached up to gently touch his face, her fingers tracing the contours of his cheek. Matty pulled her closer, his lips finding hers in a passionate, affirming kiss. As their bodies melded together, their shared love creating a palpable heat between them, they lost themselves in the moment, the world outside forgotten.

The sound of a door crashing open violently sliced through the air like a blade, breaking Matty and Taylor's moment together. Adrenaline coursed through their veins as they broke apart and whirled towards the source of the sound. There in the doorway was Scott, her father, his face contorted with fury and his eyes searing holes into them. The oppressive silence stretched on for eternity, hanging heavy between Matty and Taylor like a noose.

"What the hell do you think you're doing with my daughter?" Scott's voice was low and dangerous. Matty stumbled, trying to push Scott away, but he was no match for the older man's strength.

Matty's heart raced as Scott glared at him, his fists balled up and trembling. He could feel the rage radiating off of Scott in waves.

"Please, Mr Swift," he pleaded, "I lov--"

"Don't you dare say that word!" Scott growled, pushing Matty towards the door. His face was twisted with an unmeasurable anger. "I forbid you from ever seeing her again. I mean it Matthew," he snarled, getting closer to Matty's face. "Stay the hell away from my daughter.”

Scott's words were like a knife, cutting deeply and painfully into Matty's heart. He stumbled out of the door, eyes full of tears, and glanced at Taylor's door with an ache in his chest. Part of him wanted desperately to stay, but his pride kept him away from her door. He couldn't bear the thought of her seeing him so broken.

The silence in Taylor's room is a stifling tension, her and Scott's breathing the only sounds to slice the stillness. Suddenly, Scott's voice breaks through the quiet, low but filled with a mixture of an anger and disbelief.

"What the fuck just happened in here?"

Taylor remains frozen on the bed, her mind racing at breakneck speed as she struggles to comprehend what unfolded before her eyes. She can feel the weight of Scott's gaze pressing down on her, waiting for an answer that she cannot give.

"Taylor, answer me!" Scott's voice escalates into a shout.

In a sudden fit of rage, Taylor dresses quickly and storms out of the house without looking back, deaf to her father's pleas for her to stay. Tears stream down her face as she runs full tilt down the street, thoughts consumed by Matty and how unfair it all is.

Taylor drew closer to the park, relishing in its small sense of comfort and solitude. She had been running for what felt like hours, her mind a maelstrom of tears and emotions. Finally, as she made her way deeper into the park, she noticed someone sitting on a bench staring off into the distance.

As she got closer, Taylor realized who it was: Matty. His eyes were distant and had an unreadable expression that Taylor couldn't place. Her heart started racing with a mixture of joy and fear - joy at seeing him again and fear at being so close yet feeling so far away from him.

Matty must have sensed her presence as he slowly turned his head in her direction. He seemed surprised but pleased to see her standing there, but something in his gaze told Taylor that he had been expecting this moment all along.

"Hey," he said softly, his voice barely audible over the sound of the wind rustling through the trees nearby.

"Hi," Taylor replied, taking a step closer towards him before stopping unsurely in front of him.

He nodded towards the empty space next to him on the bench and she hesitantly sat down, still unsure of what to say or do next. The silence stretched out between them until finally Matty spoke up again breaking the tension that hung over them like a heavy fog.

"I'm sorry," he said quietly, not making eye contact with her as he spoke. "I'm sorry for everything."

Taylor's heart ached at hearing those words come from Matty's lips; it was clear to see from his face how much pain and regret he felt about their situation despite how hard he tried to mask it with a stoic expression.

Taylor looked up into Matty's eyes, feeling a sudden surge of emotions racing through her veins.

Without a word, Taylor leaned forward and brought her lips to his, their kiss intensifying with every passing second. His hands moved around her waist, drawing her closer as they locked in a passionate embrace. But as his grip tightened and he showed no signs of stopping, she felt a wave of anticipation wash over her.

She hesitantly broke from the kiss and kissed the tip of his nose before giving him a small smile. "There's a hotel there," she motioned in the direction away from her house in the opposite direction. "We passed it the other day on our walk, remember? Meet me at Midnight."

Matty nodded in understanding and with one last lingering look he turned and walked away from her.

Taylor watched him go until he was out of sight before finally turning and walking back to her house. Thoughts of what their future might hold swirled in her mind but all she knew was that tonight, nothing would be the same again.

The night was unusually quiet, the only sound being the gentle rustling of leaves in the wind. Taylor looked back at her room one last time before hoisting herself up and slipping out of her bedroom window. It was her first time sneaking out, the thrill of adventure mixing with the fear of getting caught.

Navigating her way through her mom's meticulously maintained garden was a challenge. She tiptoed through the flowerbeds, trying her best to avoid stepping on any of the precious blooms. Each rustle, each crunch under her foot made her heart race a little faster, the danger of her clandestine escape adding to the excitement.

As she reached the garden gate, a figure emerged from the shadows. Matty was there, waiting for her, a mischievous grin on his face. He was dressed similarly to her, both of them donning black hoodies and torn black jeans, a perfect camouflage for their midnight escapade.

He let out a soft laugh as he saw her, a teasing glint in his eyes. "My, my, my, we make quite a pair, don't we?" he joked, gesturing to their matching outfits. "With our attire, we could make a good band of thieves."

Despite the nervous fluttering in her stomach, Taylor couldn't help but chuckle at his comment. It was a ridiculous scenario, yet it felt exhilarating. Sneaking out, meeting Matty, their matching outfits - it was a scene straight out of a youthful adventure, a memory they were creating together, a memory that would become a cornerstone of the love story they were just beginning to write.

Her heart began racing as she saw the same excited gleam in Matty's eyes that she felt. She felt a thrill rush through her body as the realization of what they were doing hit her.

The warm night air was filled with the sounds of crickets chirping and the soft shuffling of their feet against the ground. They walked hand in hand along a path winding between tall trees and wildflowers, the only light coming from a bright full moon overhead giving their surroundings an ethereal air.

Matty's hand found Taylor's, their fingers interlocking naturally. His grip was reassuring, a silent promise of the adventure that awaited them. He led her down the moonlit streets, their footsteps echoing in the silent night.

They soon arrived at a modest building, its facade bathed in the soft glow of a single porch light. It was a small inn, an unexpected gem tucked away from the hustle and bustle of the town.

As they approached the entrance, Matty gave her hand a gentle squeeze, a shared thrill passing between them. "Are you ready for our little adventure?" he asked, his voice barely above a whisper, his eyes sparkling with anticipation.

Taylor nodded, the mix of nervousness and excitement making her heart race. This was a new experience, a reckless escapade, and she was living it with Matty - the one person she wanted to share all her firsts with.

Together, they stepped into the inn, the door creaking open to reveal a warm, welcoming interior. Matty handled the check-in swiftly, procuring a room key for their stay.

Once inside, they were surprised to find the room was far more run-down than they had expected. Matty leaned against one of the walls, his gaze intense as he watched Taylor take in her surroundings. He stepped forward and slowly began to pull off his hoodie, but before he could finish, Taylor grabbed him by the wrist and led him into the bedroom.

The large bed took centre stage in the dimly lit room. Nervousness coated their every move as they undressed each other with shaking hands until there was no barrier left between them. The musky scent of pheromones hung in the air, an invisible cloak that enveloped them both in its embrace. And then came that first kiss - passionate and unyielding, like two powerful fires merging together, tongues entwining hungrily as they explored each other's mouths with fierce abandon. The heat between them sizzled like electricity, sparking a wildfire deep within their souls.

The sweet chorus of chirping birds permeated the air, yet neither could bear to move away from each other's embrace. Fervently they clung to each other, trying to savor this treasured moment for as long as possible. But eventually, reality crept in and with a heavy heart, she knew it was time for her to leave their safe haven and head back home again.

Taylor stood below her bedroom window, her heart pounding in her chest. She'd never attempted something like this before, sneaking back in unnoticed. She gazed up at her second-floor bedroom window, biting her lower lip. The climb wouldn't be easy, but she had a rough plan. She'd often watched a family of squirrels navigate the trellis next to her window. If they could do it, so could she. Matty had left her at the corner of her street, both agreeing it was best he not be seen near her house. Now she was on her own. She took a deep breath, gripped the edges of the trellis, and started her climb. Each movement was a calculated balance between speed and silence. She winced at the occasional rustling leaves but pushed onward. As she neared the window, a flicker of relief washed over her. She had left it slightly ajar in preparation for her return. She gingerly lifted the window with one hand, while her other clung to the trellis. Her heart raced as the window creaked open. She hesitated for a moment, then swung her leg over the sill and slipped into her room. Her feet hit the carpet with a soft thud. She quickly closed the window and leaned against the wall, her breath coming in shaky pants. The adrenaline of the night was finally fading, replaced by a deep exhaustion.

She was back in her room, undetected. Her night out with Matty, full of laughter and stolen moments, was a secret safely kept. The thrill of the escape was new, exhilarating, a taste of freedom she'd never experienced before.

Taylor slowly sank to the ground, a wide smile tugging at her lips. She hugged her knees close to her chest, relishing in the feeling of success. She had done it - she'd successfully sneaked back into her bedroom without anyone noticing. The night out with Matty had been magical and Taylor couldn't help but feel a sense of pure elation as she thought about their time together. From the passionate kiss to the countless jokes they shared, it was easily one of the best nights of her life. She closed her eyes and allowed herself to bask in these special memories for a few moments before reality set back in. With a heavy sigh, she forced herself to stand up and change into more comfortable clothes. But before getting ready for bed, she grabbed a pad of paper and pen off her desk and began to write down every detail from the night - every laugh, every moment of joy - so that even when reality made it difficult for them to be together, these memories could still bring them both joy. Taylor eventually settled into bed, exhausted but contented from the evening that was undoubtedly one of the craziest nights she'd ever experienced. As sleep gradually crept up on her, all she could think about were Matty's soft lips against hers...and how badly she wanted their story to continue forever.

The next morning.

Matty made his way to Taylor's house the following morning, taking advantage of the fact that her parents were away. The usually vibrant house now felt eerily empty, the only sound piercing the silence was the booming music that echoed from upstairs. Following the source of the music, he found Taylor in her room, her suitcase splayed open on the bed while she swayed to the rhythm of a Fall Out Boy song. An involuntary knock fell from Matty's knuckles as he watched her, lost in her own world. Taylor looked up, startled by the unexpected visit. She turned down the music, allowing the tension to seep into the room, replacing the lively beats.

"I need to talk to you," Matty started, his words laced with an underlying sadness. He broke the news to her about her father's actions - how he'd taken all of Matty's belongings out of the guest room, relocated them to a nearby hotel, and had insisted he return to England immediately.

"I... I wasn't supposed to come see you," Matty confessed, avoiding her gaze. "Your father made it clear that he didn't want me around. But I couldn't leave without saying goodbye."

Taylor's heart sank at his words, her eyes reflecting the hurt. She'd been under the impression that they still had a few more weeks together. The sudden change of plans left her in a whirlwind of emotions. Matty's sudden departure wasn't just a farewell to a guest, but a painful separation from someone who had become a significant part of her life. The silence that hung in the room was deafening as Taylor processed Matty's words. She felt a sharp sting of betrayal - not from Matty, but from her father who'd orchestrated this sudden departure. Her eyes met Matty's, now glossy with unshed tears.

"But... you still had time here," she managed to say, her voice barely above a whisper. The joy she'd felt while packing for her tour had now evaporated, replaced by a cold dread that gnawed at her. She moved closer to Matty, her fingers lightly brushing against his. She swallowed hard, battling the lump in her throat. "Why...why would he do this?" she asked, her voice strained with a futile attempt to hold back tears. Her mind raced, she knew her father had not taken to walking in on them on her bed well, but she never imagined he would stand by his word to exile him. "Why... why would he turn this into some sort of a modern day Romeo and Juliet?" Taylor's voice hitched as she spoke, her chest tight with frustration. "We love each other. That's not a crime, is it?" The passion in her words was palpable, even though her voice was barely more than a whisper.

Her fingers tightened around Matty's. Their relationship wasn't about defiance or rebellion. It was about genuine feelings, about a connection they both cherished. The fact that her father chose to see it as some forbidden romance was both hurtful and infuriating.

"Why... why would he turn this into some sort of a modern day Romeo and Juliet?" Taylor's voice hitched as she spoke, her chest tight with frustration. "We love each other. That's not a crime, is it?" The passion in her words was palpable, even though her voice was barely more than a whisper. Her fingers tightened around Matty's. Their relationship wasn't about defiance or rebellion. It was about genuine feelings, about a connection they both cherished. The fact that her father chose to see it as some forbidden romance was both hurtful and infuriating.

Her eyes searched his, a torrent of emotions swirling within them. There was love in them, yes, but also defiance and anger and confusion and an overwhelming sadness. Taylor struggled to accept the drastic change in their story. Her eyes were fighting it, desperately pleading with him for another outcome. Not when they were so deeply in love. Not without a fight.

"I understand, Taylor," Matty responded gently, his voice a soothing balm amidst the turmoil. "Your father..., he's just looking out for you. And your parents, they've given so much for your dreams, and I respect that. Truly, I do."

His hand enveloped hers, the warmth a comforting presence. He continued, "I share the same dreams as you, Taylor. The love for music, the passion to perform, the thrill of the applause... We've walked the same path. That's why I... I would never do anything that could potentially hinder your journey. I'd rather walk away than see you compromise on your dreams."

The truth in his words was evident in his eyes - bright, sincere, and achingly honest. His feelings for her were deep, yet he wouldn't let them be an obstacle in her path. He understood the complexity of their situation better than anyone else. "But," he added, a soft determination in his voice, "it doesn't mean I agree with what's happening. This... This isn't about rebellion or defiance, it's about love, something that should be celebrated, not penalized."

In that moment, Matty knew that whatever the outcome, he would respect it. Not just for Taylor, but for himself too. Because love wasn't about possession, but understanding and sacrifice. Matty cupped Taylor's face gently, his thumbs brushing away her tears. The sight of her crying made his heart clench, but he knew he needed to be strong for her. “Taylor, look at me," he said, his voice soft yet firm. As her eyes met his, he continued, "I promise you, I'm not going anywhere. I would never leave you, never abandon you. No matter what. We might face obstacles, and yes, they might seem as formidable as dragons, but I'm willing to fight. To fight for us."

His gaze was unwavering, his words spoken with a conviction that left no room for doubt. Matty was a fighter, and his feelings for Taylor were worth battling any dragon for. “Distance, secrets, your father... none of these are going to change the way I feel about you, Taylor," Matty confessed, his words echoing in the silent room. "And no matter where I am, no matter where you are, I'll always be there for you. We can make it work, Taylor. I believe in us."

His words hung in the air, a pledge of enduring love and unyielding commitment. A promise of a battle fought together, against all odds.

Taylor was sobbing now, her tears falling freely. But amidst the torrent of emotions, she found a sliver of hope in Matty's words. "Promise me, Matty," she implored, her voice barely a whisper. "Promise me that we'll do this."

“I promise, Taylor," Matty reassured her, pulling her into a tight embrace. "We'll face this together. No matter what."

Their bodies swayed gently, a bittersweet dance to the rhythm of their heartbeats. It was a moment frozen in time, a moment of love and pain, promises and fears, farewells and hope. Suddenly, a honk from outside interrupted the poignant silence. The sound of the taxi waiting to take Matty to the airport was a stark reminder of the harsh reality they were about to face.

The pain of the looming goodbye was like a physical force, flattening Taylor and Matty against each other. With trembling hands they held on to one another, their chests heaving with the strain of the moment as they faced their impending separation. Tears spilled from their eyes until their faces were a blur, both agony and love radiating off them in palpable waves.

Matty pulled away slightly, looking into Taylor's tear-stained face one more time. "I have to go, Taylor," he said softly. But his eyes held a promise - a promise of return, of battles fought together, and a love that would endure, against all odds.

"I love you, Taylor," Matty confessed, his voice thick with emotion. His gaze locked onto hers, he waited for her response.

"I love you too, Matty," Taylor responded, her voice just a whisper, but her eyes shone with a resolute love.

In the next moment, they were in each other's arms, their lips meeting in a kiss that tasted of promises and bittersweet farewells. It was a lingering kiss, a moment that held the weight of their shared love, their shared fears, and the shared promise of a future together. Matty yanked at the chain around his neck, trying to loosen the clasp that held it in place. His hands shook as he pulled the hollowed-out rectangle necklace from his chest and carefully draped it over Taylor's head. With a reverent gesture he gently settled the chain around her neck, an unspoken promise between them.

"This... this is a symbol of my promise to you," Matty said, his voice barely audible. He traced the rectangle pendant lightly with his thumb. "A promise that no matter what, we'll make it work."

Taylor felt her heart stop when Matty presented the necklace to her. Overwhelmed with emotion, she clung to it like a life-line in the sea of tumultuous feelings within her. Gone was the simple piece of jewelry - it had transformed into a tangible testament of Matty's love, his assurances, and their agreement to stand by each other no matter what. This necklace was a beacon that illuminated the depths of their union, a bond that was unbreakable, even against the strongest forces of fate.

Taylor pulled Matty into another passionate kiss, their hearts pounding in unison. As the taxi honked again, a stark reminder of the time ticking away, she pulled away reluctantly, a determined look in her eyes. "Wait here, okay?" she requested, rushing off to her room.

When she returned, she held a brown cowboy hat in her hands. It was the hat she'd bought for him, a piece of her world that she wanted him to have. With a tender smile, she placed the hat on Matty's head, adjusting it until it sat just right.

"You can't forget this, Matty," she said, her fingers tracing the brim of the hat. "Every time you wear this, remember me. Remember us."

Matty looked at her, the cowboy hat giving him a charming yet somewhat goofy look. It was a piece of Taylor he would carry with him, a tangible reminder of their shared memories.

Their eyes locked once more, and they shared one final kiss - a promise of their enduring love sealed with a passionate goodbye. As they pulled away, their hands lingered, their fingers intertwining one last time before Matty had to walk away, the cowboy hat sitting snugly on his head, and a hollowed-out rectangle necklace hanging around Taylor's neck - tokens of a love that would endure against all odds. Matty looked at the cowboy hat Taylor had just placed on his head, a warm smile spreading across his face. He reached up to touch it, feeling the worn leather under his fingers. It was a perfect gift, a piece of Taylor's world that he could carry with him wherever he went.

"Taylor, this... this is perfect," he said, his voice thick with emotion. "I promise you, every time I put it on, I'll think of you. I'll think of us." He looked at her, his eyes reflecting the genuine appreciation he felt. His fingers brushed against the brim of the hat, tracing the contours that held so many shared memories. The hat was not just a gift anymore, but a symbol of their bond, a bond that promised to stay strong despite the distance and circumstances.

"And thank you," he added, his voice barely more than a whisper. "For everything, Taylor. For the music, the laughs, the dreams... and this. I'll cherish it. I'll cherish us."

His words hung in the air, a heartfelt thank you, a bittersweet farewell, and a promise of a love that would continue to bloom, no matter where life took them. As Matty walked away, the cowboy hat a distinctive feature against the morning sun, Taylor watched him with a heavy heart. Each step he took seemed to pull at her heartstrings, echoing the pain of their parting. He looked back at her a few times, his eyes a mirror of the sadness that gripped her. Matty got into the taxi, one last look at the girl he was leaving behind imprinted in his memory. He raised his hand, waving a final goodbye. She stood there, her silhouette framed by the doorway, a picture of strength and vulnerability all at once. The car started to move, carrying Matty away. Taylor watched until the taxi was nothing more than a distant speck, until the reality of the farewell fully sunk in.

Then, the strength that had been holding her up shattered, and she collapsed onto her knees on the porch. Her body shook with the force of her sobs, the silent morning air punctuated by her cries. Her heart ached with a sharp pain, a mix of loss and longing, a testament to the love she had for the man who was now on his way back to England.

Her fingers clutched at the hollowed-out rectangle necklace around her neck, the physical reminder of their shared love, the promise that they would make it work. Despite the pain, she held onto that promise, finding in it the strength to endure the challenging journey that lay ahead.

As the taxi pulled away, Matty watched Taylor through the rear window, her figure slowly fading into the distance. His heart ached with a longing he'd never felt before, the image of her collapsing on her knees on the porch etched into his memory. Her house, her street, the town - everything was retreating into the background, yet the essence of her seemed to linger. He could still feel the softness of her lips against his, still smell the faint trace of her perfume, still hear the echo of her laughter. The tangible reminder of their shared moments was amplified in the silence of the taxi, a poignant memory that refused to fade. He clung onto those memories, his fingers tracing the rim of the cowboy hat she'd given him. Every thread of it, every crease, was a testament to their shared dreams and love, a love that had grown in the short time they'd spent together. It wasn't just a hat anymore; it was a piece of Taylor he was carrying with him, a piece that would be a constant reminder of her in the days to come. The journey to the airport seemed to stretch on endlessly, each mile a cruel reminder of the distance that was growing between them. His heart felt heavy with the knowledge that he was leaving Taylor behind. But amidst the sorrow, there was a spark of hope - a promise they had made to each other. A promise of love, a promise to fight for their love, no matter what. As the airport came into view, Matty took one last look at the retreating landscape, his thoughts filled with Taylor. The goodbye had been tough, the pain of parting was sharp, but he held onto their shared promise. He'd be back, he knew. And until then, they would fight their battles, stand against the odds, and cherish their love. Because what they shared was not a fleeting affair - it was a love that would endure, a love that was worth fighting for.

——————-

There we go. My later chapters will have more x-rated scenes but do the math. The ages? No. Not touching that right now.

#matty healy #tatty #maylor fanfiction #maylor #tatty fanfiction #taylor swift and matty healy fanfiction #matty healy fanfiction

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charliethomascoxuniverse · 1 year

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Charlie Cox: Star turn

Charlie Cox is taking a break from Hollywood to bring Pinter to London's West End. And the experience has proved to be truly terrifying, he tells Charlotte Cripps.

Tuesday 29 January 2008 (X)

I'm watching a preview of the Harold Pinter double bill at the Comedy Theatre on the night before I meet Hollywood's newest star, Charlie Cox, when I encounter his fan club in the row behind me. The girls gasp collectively at how good-looking he is, especially at the end of The Collection, when he strips off to a pair of tight white boxer shorts.

The English public school-educated 25-year-old is not only converting teenagers to Pinter, however; he also holds his own with his more experienced co-stars, Timothy West, Richard Coyle and Gina McKee.

The young star has just played the lead in the blockbuster family film Stardust, alongside such Hollywood luminaries as Michelle Pfeiffer, Robert de Niro, Sienna Miller and Claire Danes. Cox's character was the earnest, genuine Tristan, who transforms from boy to man on his quest for true love. In real life, too, the actor is growing up fast as he finds himself, right at the beginning of his career, rubbing shoulders with the acting elite. Although he had picked up some good roles – performing opposite Al Pacino in The Merchant of Venice and in Casanova alongside Heath Ledger – the actor was relatively unknown until a few months ago. Nowadays Cox, with his boyish, wide-eyed good looks, gets recognised wherever he goes.

When we meet the morning after the Pinter previews, the actor is cleaning his teeth in his dressing room at the Comedy Theatre. As he welcomes me inside, he takes off his porkpie hat to reveal a mass of bouncing, newly cut hair and clear brown eyes. His dressing room, which has the feel of a miniature flat, is nevertheless smaller than those of the other three members of the cast, because, he says as if he is still at boarding school, he is "the new boy".

His costumes for the character Bill – who in The Collection is accused by a husband (Coyle) of having a one-night stand with a married woman (McKee), despite being in a gay relationship with Harry (West) – are hanging tidily over a camp bed. There is a ‘Just For Today’ meditation book on the table – a 12-step recovery tool – because the actor no longer drinks. He has already begun pinning things neatly to the white walls, to create a collage that will document his four-month run in the play. So far it includes a line of fizzy vitamin C sachets, a Nurofen Cold & Flu packet, even three different Starbucks coffee cup sizes. He points out everything to me – "I will remember the bad cold I had at the beginning of the run" – but it is only day four. He is still warming up in his first proper job on a West End stage. "I am far out of my comfort zone. I am trying to keep up with actors who are consistently brilliant, not like me, this Disney kid Cox from Stardust."

Cox lives in World's End, Chelsea, above an art gallery, with his best friend, Ned, and dog, Ralph. He speaks with passion and maturity about his job, and has a calm presence as well as heaps of energy, which he uses both positively and negatively. "I am incredibly self-deprecating. It stems from self-doubt. With every job I watch, I can't find peace with what I've done. It's never good enough in my mind. I will never be happy if I'm in that mindset, unless I get a review that starts: 'once in a generation'," he says, laughing. "Fame terrifies me. I can say that with honesty. You're terrified that, when people know the real you, they won't like you."

The actor was born in 1982 and grew up in East Sussex with his publisher father, Andrew, his mother, Trisha, and his older brother, Toby. He also has three much older half-siblings, Ollie, Emma and Zoë, who were all leaving home by the time he was born. At the age of eight, he was sent to a local prep school and then to Sherborne School in Dorset. He won the school's Gerald Pitman Award for Drama twice, before leaving school for London at the age of 18.

He got a supporting role in the film Dot the I opposite Gael Garcia Bernal, before starting at the Bristol Old Vic Theatre School at 19 years old. It was a miserable experience. "They start picking holes and I took it all too personally." Auditioning for roles was banned while pupils were still at the school, but after his first year he secretly auditioned for Pacino's The Merchant of Venice. "I remember feeling really panicked. I was meant to have learnt to play the recorder for the class nativity play when I got the call from my agent telling me I'd got the role. The next thing I knew I was hanging out in Luxembourg with one of my idols. Deep down I knew I'd never go back to Bristol. To slot back into my class after that would have been entirely weird."

He then played a warrior in an unwatchable Spanish film, Tirante el Blanco. "To call it a flop is an understatement. The film made no sense. It hadn't been translated properly. I wasn't even invited to the premiere." He returned to the UK to perform for no wages in 'Tis Pity She's a Whore to packed houses at Southwark Playhouse. The production, directed by Edward Dick, received rave reviews. "None of us got paid for it but it ended up being one of the shows to see in London."

This was the first time that the actor had a difficult decision to make, as he had already been offered a role in a big feature film when the Pinter play came up. "It really threw a spanner in the works because there is a pressure to continue to do films. If you disappear for a little while, they just lose interest. But if I want to be still acting when I'm older, the Pinter play is the kind of work I need to be attached to. The theatre is where I'm learning my trade," says Cox. "In Tim's [West] day he did years of rep theatre. Today we are in a manic rush to be rich and famous. None of us young stars has had time to learn our trade. There is a horrible misconception that you can either act or not. But experience is everything."

It is a challenge for Cox, playing a lead role in The Collection – one of the two rarely performed Pinter plays, the other being The Lover, which are being revived at the Comedy Theatre under the direction of Jamie Lloyd, who recently directed The Caretaker for Sheffield Theatres. "Harold [Pinter] has been involved in the production, but he hasn't told us whether my character Bill really did sleep with Stella or not. He is the only one who really knows. Gina [McKee] and I made a decision that we think helps us, but we are keeping that decision a secret." Bill is a million miles away from his Stardust role of Tristan, who wore his heart on his sleeve. "What is certain about my character Bill is that he lies all the time. Whether Bill did it or not, he still gives different versions of the story. He is a bit of a spoilt brat who doesn't think of what other people want. He just wants a bit of a drama. He craves power and manipulates people for his own amusement. He annoys Harry for no reason at all other than to entertain himself."

For Cox, who has been living out of a suitcase for so long, starring in the West End allows him something of a normal routine. He can walk his dog and hang out with the small group of friends whom he has known since childhood. Fame has not changed him, and he doubts it ever will. None of the older actors has ever sat him down for a pep talk either, but Pacino offered him some words of wisdom. "Al said, 'You're not an actor until you've got a leather jacket.' I took it very seriously and asked my parents to buy me this brown leather jacket for my 21st birthday. It's worn really well, hasn't it? Then Al rang me on the day to wish me happy birthday while I was in the middle of having a small party. Answering the phone to him was one of the most bizarre things that has ever happened to me."

Now Cox has another offer to star with Pacino, in Enclosure, a black comedy about a Jewish family. He has already finished filming Stone of Destiny, based on a true story, in which he plays Ian Hamilton, a committed Scottish nationalist who in the 1950s led a raid on Westminster Abbey to bring the Stone of Scone back to Scotland. The actor talks about his career with the excitement of somebody who is living his dream. In promotional TV interviews for Stardust he looked almost startled, but since he's been at home he seems to be more at ease. "It's so easy to become obsessed with the film industry and recognition that we can forget that we are not saving the world. We are just actors trying to entertain people. Doing this play, in front of a live audience, has reminded me of that."

~*~

#a lovely interview of a young Charlie 😎💖#and the source of some of his most famous quotes #also I'm pleased to say fame hasn't changed him - he's still the same sweet humble and hardworking guy he's always been <333 #charlie cox #bill lloyd #the lover and the collection #theatre #interview #article

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transformers-mosaic · 1 year

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Transformers: Mosaic #228 - "In Retrospect"

Originally posted on August 18th, 2008

Story - Matthew Simon Hessey Art, Letters - Jamie Roberts

deviantART | TFW2005 | BotTalk

wada sez: This strip follows on from Devastation issue #6, continuing Hot Rod’s story. The yellow car isn’t Sunstreaker, but rather a Headmaster clone of him created by the Machination. See below for the full script for this strip.

In Retrospect…

PANEL 1:

(Hot Rod is in vehicle mode, driving away from Hardhead who is in robot mode. They are in the junkyard from Devastation, this is set just after their talk in DEV #6)

TEXT BOX (RED): Ok. So, let’s think this over. Thinking point number one, Prime and the other Autobots are leaving. Oh well, no worries…

PANEL 2:

(Hot Rod is leaving the junkyard. Turning left, fast, as he does so)

TEXT BOX (RED): …I prefer to work on my own anyway. Thinking point number 2, this means I am currently the last Autobot on Earth (not counting Sunstreaker), and there are (1,2,3…) 7 currently active Decepticons to deal with. One of which is the big bad himself, Megatron. Still, let’s be positive…

PANEL 3:

(Hot Rod is speeding after a battered Sunstreaker clone, who is in vehicle mode)

TEXT BOX (RED): At least Sunstreaker shouldn’t be too difficult to find, that is as long as this Headmaster’s heading back to base. Ha, ‘heading back to base’. See what I did there?

PANEL 4:

(Hot Rod is now right behind the Headmaster, who is firing a barrage of missiles at Hot Rod)

TEXT BOX ABOVE MISSILES (RED): So, as long as this guys running, I’ve got nothing to worry about.

TEXT BOX BELOW MISSILES (RED): Or not… You know, in retrospect, I probably should have thought this over before I committed myself…

TEXT BOX BELOW SECOND TEXT BOX (RED): Nah. I’ve never been one to bail out half way through.

PANEL 5:

(Optimus Prime and Hardhead are aboard ARK-32, talking to each other)

Prime: How’s Wheeljack?

HARDHEAD: Fine. Nothing that can’t be repaired

PRIME: Good. And Hot Rod?

PANEL 6:

(Close up of Hardhead’s face. Hardhead is smiling)

HARDHEAD: Hot Rod? By the time I got there, he was already in the wind.

#Transformers #Transformers Mosaic #Maccadam #IDW Transformers #Matthew Simon Hessey #Jamie Roberts #Hot Rod #Hardhead #Optimus Prime #Megatron #Sunstreaker #Wheeljack

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wisegalaxysweets · 1 year

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Class of 2008: Chapter 2

Here is the second chapter of the Larry fic I am working on. It is on my AO3, but I am also posting the chapters here for those that prefer it.

pairing: Bad Boy!Harry Styles x Football Captain!Louis Tomlinson

rating: E (smut, grinding, oral (m receiving), handjob, discussion of cloesting, general sexual exploits, cheating?)

word count: 3k

a/n: This fic is set at the start of the school year in 2007 where Louis Tomlinson is captain of the football team and the new freshman wearing leather, lots of rings, and sporting curly hair begins occupying his mind.

It wasn’t until a soft moan slipped from his lips that he realized the compromising position that he found himself in. The impossibly plush mouth of the boy he thought detested him was latched to his neck leaving a different kind of bruise than he had initially thought he would receive when he first laid eyes on the curly headed delinquent.

All of the previously imposed judgements that Louis was predisposed to make towards Harry are fading into the dark room that surrounds them both now, the small boy being pushed up against whatever was hanging in the gym storage room they found themselves locked in at this very moment.

His mind doesn’t have space to think about anything other than the hard on he is quickly developing in his shorts and the biker between his legs. He had seen that leather jacket and thought it was such a cliche, but then again he was a bit of one himself. Captain of the football team, dating the cheer captain, probably going to marry her and have two and a half kids living behind some perfect white-washed picket fence.

All the ideals that were expected of him that he never questioned came tumbling down when he saw that leather jacket. He could barely remember his girlfriend’s name when those aviators were lowered and he was met with the piercing eyes of the most entrancing boy he had ever seen.

Those eyes had led him here. Trapped in the gym storage room after practice with his world being rocked and his head spinning with the reality of what was happening.

[you rock my world - michael jackson]

Harry pulled his mouth from its place on Louis’ neck as he placed one more opened mouth kiss on the flushed skin he had been working over. There was no reason he should be this bold. He never did things like this, but the short football captain pinned beneath him had been tempting him for weeks.

Seeing him running on the football field during practice today was the last straw. He knew he needed to get his hands on the gorgeous tanned skin of the blue-eyed golden boy of the school. He shouldn’t have even been by the football field to see Louis running or be stopped in his tracks when he caught sight of Louis’ pert ass in his shorts, round and perfect, begging to be grabbed.

Harry was sneaking out of detention and he really shouldn’t have stuck around campus for fear of being caught, but there was something mesmerizing about the way Louis flipped his sweat dampened fringe out of his eyes and peered over to meet Harry’s and find him already staring from his secret spot behind the bleachers.

At present, their chests are heaving from the intensity of the moment before. Harry raised his eyes to meet Louis’ as he took a handful of the older boy’s ass, causing a slight gasp to escape his bitten, cherry red lips.

“C-can you k-kiss me again?” Louis stuttered out between ragged breaths before he could realize what he was asking the other boy. Harry chuckled at his frazzled state and flushed skin, caressing his cheek as a wicked smile graced his lips before he lowered them back down to ghost over Louis’.

“How eager for someone so deep in the closet. Literally and figuratively.” His breath brushed gently and impossibly close to Louis’ lips before moving lower to nibble his way down the shorter boy’s sharp jaw finding his home in the curve leading to his neck.

The comment brought Louis slightly back down to earth from where Harry had him floating in the clouds, but his mouth was far too perfect for him to remain there before he ascended again. His shorts tented as he was sure to be sporting an embarrassing erection from only kissing and touching the taller boy.

It wasn’t a lie that he was in the closet, but it wasn’t the whole truth either. He had never thought about it before if he were being honest. Most of his time was occupied by living his life to meet his parents expectations and the goals they had for him.

There was never a boy like Harry before to change his reality. Make him question whether or not he really liked his cheerleader girlfriend, Jennifer, or if he just thought he did because that is what he was supposed to do.

Sure it might have been strange that he’d never had sex with his girlfriend of three years, but she never questioned it so why should he? Louis gently pushed on Harry’s shoulders to make him detach from where he was forming yet another bruise on the sweaty, salty expanse of the football player’s tawny skin.

“Sure, I may be in the closet, but you are the one who goes around acting like I’m the devil incarnate just to turn around and jump my bones after football practice.” His eyes could barely meet the taller boy’s as he made his weak comment. His knees still slightly wobbly and only now realizing he was being held up by the pressure of Harry’s hips against his own.

Harry’s eyebrows drew together in confusion.

“What? I’ve never acted like that. What are you talking about?”

“Well considering this is the first time you have ever spoken to me and it was after you had your tongue down my throat, I wouldn’t say we were very friendly before today.” A sheepish smile came over the curly headed boy’s lips at the remark on their makeout session. Louis gawked slightly, finding it very out of character. Shy was not an emotion often portrayed on the hard features of the leather jacket, metal ring clad boy that was still pressed against his dizzyingly hard cock.

“I don’t always make the best impression on people I guess. You’re just so impossibly frustrating.” He muttered slowly with a roll of his hips causing a breath to get stuck in Louis’ throat. “I thought it would be better if I didn't try to befriend you. Looks like I failed at that as well.”

His palm slid up the smaller boy’s bare thigh, fingers ghosting under the low hanging hem of his basketball shorts, causing goosebumps to form like a trail marking where they had touched. He hooked his hand around the back of his thigh. Keeping direct eye contact, he lifted the football player’s thick leg to wrap around his own waist with another simultaneous roll of his hips causing a high pitched moan to slip from Louis, his head rolling back as pleasure jolted through him.

“I’m the frustrating one?” Louis panted, needing more friction as he felt a familiar pull in his lower belly. “Your dumb curls are frustrating.” A chuckle sounded from Harry as he threw his head back.

“I was referring to a sexual kind of frustration, but I’m glad you find my curls dumb.” It was only then that Louis realized just how hard the other boy was, the impossibly tight jeans he had on not giving much away to his state of arousal thus far.

It shouldn’t come as a surprise given the hot and heavy pace that Harry had immediately inflicted the moment he slipped into the storage closet behind Louis, the rest of the team long gone leaving him to put everything from practice away. But it was Harry that had gotten them locked in when he knocked the door stop out of the way, not knowing that it would lock upon closing.

It was as the door slammed shut that Louis startled, finding the boy hastily approaching him with the words, “I’m going to kiss you now.” mumbled like an afterthought. So it shouldn’t surprise him when Harry tells him that his behavior throughout this school year was not spurred from hatred, but from resisting his urge to pounce on the blue-eyed boy. That thought alone makes Louis even harder if at all possible and he feels he may pass out from the lack of blood flow to his brain.

He can’t be thinking straight because he quickly changes their present position, shoving Harry against the wall, his hands moving from their previous place on the taller boys shoulders to lace themselves in the long dumb curls at the nape of his neck.

He isn’t sure if this confidence is because he is extremely turned on and in need of release or because he has just learned that the mesmerizing bad boy that felt like forbidden fruit had wanted him since the first day of school.

Harry’s surprised face quickly turns into a smirk as he realizes exactly what Louis is doing and submits without question. Their lips are slotted back together immediately with a feverish pace that fuels both of the flames within them.

“Need you...more...all of you.” Harry breathed between messy kisses, his breath almost shuddering with the last word.

Louis pulled back looking him in the eyes, confused at first then realization hitting him. He had never slept with anyone and here he was in the most absurd place being propositioned by the hottest boy he has ever seen. It almost escapes his mind that Harry is three years younger than him despite being so much taller.

“I don’t..I’ve never..” Louis stutters out with a frantic look on his face. He had just admitted he was a virgin even as a senior in high school. He never felt embarrassed by that fact until this very moment. Harry seemed so experienced and like he knew exactly what he was doing when he had approached.

“Neither have I,” The younger boy huffs out, breath still heaving from their last kiss. Louis thinks he must have misheard the boy, but sees that he didn’t when a shy blush wipes across his face.

There it is again, shyness on the confident biker that he had never seen before. It was endearing really. “..wait, you’ve never...with Jennifer?” Louis is the one with a sheepish grin on his face now at the question.

“Uh, no. I mean we’ve done plenty before, but I’ve just never felt the need.” He peered down at the stiffy he was sporting. “Not with her at least.”

“Why are you with her then? Are you really in denial?” Harry’s eyes showed sympathy rather than judgment for the older boy. He hadn’t thought there could be another reason for Louis’ relationship with the cheerleading captain than to be a coverup, but now he thought there may be some other justification.

“Can we not talk about that right now?” Louis takes the younger boy’s hand and places it over his own arousal, earning a mischievous smile from the boy who takes it upon himself to rub the heel of his hand down, a hiss escaping the older boy’s lips at the targeted pressure. His hips roll involuntarily into the other’s hand in search of more movement, chasing his release.

Harry took the noise as encouragement as he continued his ministrations over Louis’ shorts which were becoming increasingly tighter. He moved his mouth over the football captain’s neck, leaving wet open mouthed kisses up and down. The movement and feeling had Louis reeling and pulled even more beautiful noises from him.

Louis’ head rolled back as he let out a groan, his hands taking purchase on the younger boy's shoulders in an attempt to keep himself standing upright despite his knees getting weaker with each movement of the hand on his clothed erection. Harry stepped forward, coaxing Louis to shuffle backwards. It only took a few steps before the back of his legs hit a large stack of gym mats causing him to fall into a sitting position. With a slight flop, his fringe fell into his line of sight and he looked up to see the taller boy peering down at him with a devilish smile and lust blown eyes.

He went to grab at the back of Harry’s thighs, but before he could, he found himself looking straight into his eyes as the boy dropped to his knees in front of Louis. “..shit..” he mumbled out as he realized what was about to happen.

He was about to get his dick sucked by the curled headed bad boy.

“Can I..?” Harry motioned to Louis’ shorts as if to ask permission to remove them. Louis should have been embarrassed at how quickly he nodded in agreement, but he was too far gone now to look back or continue questioning. He could deal with the implications of all of this later.

Harry’s long ring-clad fingers hooked themselves into the elastic band of Louis’ shorts as he pulled them down just far enough to free the aching member between his legs. The cool air hitting his hot skin elicited a hiss from his lips as Harry wasted no time in taking the older boy’s cock by the base as he began to kiss and lick at the tip.

There was no world where Louis thought this is how his day would end up. For someone who said they didn’t have experience, Harry was a master as he began working his way up and down the football captain’s cock. He pulled out all the stops he could think of licking up the vein on the bottom, hollowing out his cheeks, making lewd noises that had Louis reeling. He found his fingers tangling themselves through the head of curls as he felt the band in his stomach pull tighter and tighter the more the younger boy moved.

Harry’s free hand made gentle strokes over Louis’ tan thigh, somewhat soothing and sweet, a stark contrast to the positively pornagraphic way he was sucking dick right now. “Oh fuck…” Louis began to mutter, feeling closer and closer to the edge, his hand gripping tighter in the boy’s hair. His breathing becoming more labored, “god I’m so close, don’t fucking stop” Harry didn’t speed up or slow down, simply continuing exactly at the pace he had set, preparing himself to swallow all of Louis’ release.

“Shit! Oh my god, that’s it, jesus fuck Harry.” His hips bucked up into the boy’s mouth as he came, shooting his release down the other boy’s throat. Harry sputtered slightly at the sudden movement.

Slowly he removed his mouth with a lewd ‘pop’ sound, tucking Louis back into his shorts. He relaxed back onto his heels, panting, his face looking completely fucked out and satisfied.

“Jesus, you’re seriously telling me you’re a virgin?” Louis asked as he tried to regain his composure. Harry just grinned up at him as he leaned forward to lock their lips together. This kiss was much softer and gentler than the ones before.

“Said I was a virgin, never said I hadn’t sucked dick before.” He muttered as he pulled back only inches away from Louis’ face. The older boy chuckled, but quickly remembered that the kind thing to do in this sort of situation would be to reciprocate the action. He moved to pull Harry up to sit next to him on the gym mats. Hands resting on his waist, lips returning to give sweet and gentle kisses to the others. His hand slid down Harry’s side, caressing his hip and moving towards the zipper of his painted on jeans. Harry pulled away to look him in the eyes.

“You don’t have to-”

“I want to. Want you.” He kissed him harder this time, showing he was on a mission. While he wasn’t quite sure he was ready to get on his knees, if there was one thing he knew how to do, it was rub one out. Sliding down the zipper of Harry’s jeans, he moved his hand over the younger boy’s hard-on, pulling a whine from his lips. Louis swallowed it in a deep kiss as his hand dipped beneath his boxer shorts, finally making contact with the boy’s rock hard cock.

He began slow languid movements up and down the boy’s member, hand loose, gentle caressing in a way that could almost be interpreted as teasing. He licked into Harry’s mouth as the younger boy began sporting a bead of sweat on his brow and uneven breaths. Louis picked up the pace of his strokes and tightened his fist, working up the hill towards the younger boy’s climax. He pulled away from Louis’ mouth, a pathetic whine slipping from his lips. He rested his head on the older boy’s shoulder, nuzzling further into his neck as he started seeing stars.

“More..” he muttered as he gripped tighter onto Louis’ shoulders, the older boy applying more pressure by tightening his fist further. Harry’s brow knit in what could only be described as desperation. Desperate to cum and release all of his pent up feelings from weeks of pining after the football captain. His jaw went slack as he came over Louis’ fist, a low groan rumbling from his lips that Louis chased with a kiss equally as desperate as Harry was a second ago.

Pulling his lips away, Louis’ fist stilled as he gently released the younger boy’s now slowly softening member. He raised his hand to his mouth and licked off the other boy’s release, staring deep into his green eyes. Harry balked at the sight. “..jesus..” he muttered as he couldn’t quite believe what he was seeing. Louis’ lips wrapped around his fingers as he finished off the last bit of cum, a ‘pop’ noise being made similar to the one Harry had made when he had finished blowing him earlier.

“Couldn’t let it go to waste now could I?” He chuckled as Harry still looked at him with awe. A grin spread across the curly haired boy’s face as he pressed a chaste kiss to Louis’ mouth.

“You are full of surprises today.” He said as he tucked himself back into his jeans and zipped them up. They straightened out their clothes and hair to an acceptable state before they remembered that they were indeed locked inside of the supply closet.

“Any idea how to get us out of here?” Harry asked as he looked around the room for some sign of another exit. Louis pointed up to a small window on the back wall.

“That window doesn’t have a lock on it, we can try climbing out that way.” He laughed at Harry’s face of amusement as he began moving the gym mats they were just on over towards the window. Harry boosted Louis up out of the window before pulling himself up and out.

He landed on the ground with a grunt, dusting himself off as he got up to tower over Louis once more.

“Shit! What time is it?” Louis checked his blank wrist as if to find a watch, hands patting his person looking for his phone, which he now realized was back in the locker room in his bag. Harry pulled his phone from his back pocket, flipping it open to see the time.

“Around 6 o’clock, why?” He replaced the phone in his pocket.

“Fuck! I was supposed to meet Jen and the guys for pizza a little bit ago. I’m sorry to rush off like this, but I really need to go.” He moved to begin running towards the locker room to gather his stuff when Harry grabbed his hand and pulled them together, lips crashing into the shorter boy’s.

“Have fun.” He said as he pulled away, leaving Louis a little dumbstruck. “Yeah..” he muttered, still a little dazed at the sudden kiss as he turned to sprint towards the school.

#harry styles #louis tomlinson #harry styles smut #harry styles x louis tomlinson #louis tomlinson smut

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raccooncourt · 4 months

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Twilight is a stockholm syndrome horror franchise (A Raccoon Court Case)

I wrote this essay as an argument for my podcast (which you can listen to here!). If you want to hear this argument along with my friends picking it apart in our court of law, listen to it on Spotify! Enjoy!

Opening Statement

Hello, my name is Mel, and today I will be defending myself against the charge that i have bad taste for “believing Twilight is a horror franchise about Stockholm Syndrome”.

Before I begin, lets get something straight. I would never, ever come on this podcast, in front of the court and God and Jesus and everyone, and say that Twilight is a bad movie because it’s not. Catherine Hardwicke put her everything into this movie, especially when the 2007-2008 writers strike forced her to improvise the line “hold on tight spider monkey.” This movie has some of the best lighting and editing choices EVER. The soundtrack RIPS! The actors are COMMITTING to the weird shit they were given. Like just watch Emmett walk around with that bag of hard boiled eggs. Look at Alice’s insane haircut during the baseball scene. Watch Anna Kendrick be the most passive aggressive and insecure girl in that school. How do they make Arizona look fucking blue somehow? It’s everything to me.

That being said, I believe that Twilight should not be considered a “romantic fantasy film” as Wikipedia describes it. This movie, and the franchise as a whole, follows a serious episode of Stockholm Syndrome where Bella Swan, after trauma bonding with Edward and his family, becomes convinced that her relationship with Edward is good and healthy and worth leaving everyone she knows and loves behind. While Twilight is my main source for this argument, I will be discussing the less entertaining, more biblically accurate movies in the franchise for some key evidence. Before we jump into them, I would like to note that my praise of Twilight does not unilaterally apply to the rest of these movies. I could feel myself lose years off my life watching Breaking Dawn part 1 with Jess back in June. That being said, Breaking Dawn part 2 revived me and I’m actually happy and healthy and young and vivacious now because of that Alice girlboss moment with the Volturi at the end.

With the current group of Twilight fans in the studio, I am sure we will get distracted and just talk about how good Twilight is, but I will do my best to keep us on track. In the case today, I will give us all an AP Psych background on Stockholm Syndrome. I will then detail all of the weird and creepy things that Edward does in Twilight to trick Bella accidentally into falling in love with him. Finally, I will provide examples from the other movies in the franchise to back up how this unstable and unhealthy relationship fits the telltale signs of a Stockholm Syndrome situation.

Defense case-in-chief

One note before we start. This is a fun podcast for fun. We are in no way trying to trivialize or minimize anyone’s mental health struggles or traumatic experiences. I am just interested in using this lens as a way to understand this dumb fucking franchise.

Now, before we talk about how Edward tricks a teen girl into falling in love with him, let’s quickly go over the basics of Stockholm Syndrome.

According to the Cleveland Clinic, “Stockholm syndrome is a psychological response to being held captive. People with Stockholm syndrome form a psychological connection with their captors and begin sympathizing with them. In addition to the original kidnapper-hostage situation, Stockholm syndrome now includes other types of trauma in which there’s a bond between the abuser and the person being abused.” (https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/diseases/22387-stockholm-syndrome)

This syndrome was named after an incident in 1973, where bank robbers in Stockholm, Sweden held hostages for six days in the bank. During that time, some of the hostages started to like the bank robbers, and upon release, they refused to testify against the criminals. Some of these victims even raised money for the robbers court costs.

Again, according to the Cleveland Clinic,

People who have Stockholm syndrome have:

Positive feelings toward the captors or abusers.

Sympathy for their captors’ beliefs and behaviors.

Negative feelings toward police or other authority figures.

Other symptoms are similar to post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) and include:

Flashbacks.

Feeling distrustful, irritated, jittery or anxious.

Can’t relax or enjoy things that you previously enjoyed.

Trouble concentrating.

(https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/diseases/22387-stockholm-syndrome)

I would like us all to remember these key symptoms and characteristics of the syndrome. First, a victim is put in a traumatic situation, or multiple traumatic situations over time, with the abuser. Then, as they spend more time with the abuser, they start to empathize and form good feelings towards the abuser. A key part here is that they also form negative feelings towards POLICE like say maybe a certain DILF from Forks, Washington??? Anyway, the other symptoms of flashbacks, feeling irritated and anxious, losing interest in your hobbies, trouble concentrating, and distrust all come into play here. In our next sections, I will be giving you concrete examples of times Bella displays ALL of these symptoms and how we can use that evidence to diagnose her as suffering from Stockholm Syndrome.

Now that we have our psychological background information, let’s talk about Twilight!

When we first meet Bella, she is nervous about moving to Forks, and she is a generally shy person, but she is personable. Bella has consistent dinners with her dad and is nice to the townies. She laughs with her mom on the phone. She immediately makes friends with Jacob and finds a group of friends at school on the first day. She smiles a lot considering her character in future movies. She makes jokes when she first meets Mike and Jessica (”aren’t people from Arizona supposed to be like really tan?” “yeah maybe thats why they kicked me out”). I like this weird Bella. She is doing a great job at making friends despite coming in the middle of the year and being shy!

Now, Edward - he is looking ROUGH when we are first introduced. He looks like he’s actually dying a painful death when the rest of the Cullens look like legit immortal and young. Jessica describes him as “totally gorgeous” but as we will see as the movies progress, he won’t reach his hottest until the last few movies. He is not a catch right now. Watching him react to smelling Bella is one of the worst things that I’ve ever seen. I know that it’s just because he is Horny for that Blood, but it is awful to watch. He kinda looks like when a little kid throws up and has to go tell their mom about it in the middle of the night towards the end of the scene.

Anyway, Edward and Bella have now met, which is the beginning of the end that will stretch out over the next 5 movies. But currently, there has been no trauma bonding. There is no psychological damage, except maybe to Bella for thinking she smelled so bad Edward was gonna yak. We are not in Stockholm Syndrome territory yet. Edward comes back to school, apologizes, and becomes Bella’s lab partner again. He’s cuter in this scene somehow, and while it isn’t the same glow up we will see after him and Bella trauma bond, there is something to be said about him tearing her confidence down and then building it back up as the movie makes him look more attractive…

Now, 21 minutes into the movie, Bella is about to get crushed by a car when Edward appears out of nowhere and saves her. He crushes the door of the car, stops it, and then runs away. Here is our first instance of Bella associating Edward as her protector. In the future, this white knight syndrome seems to justify any future danger that Edward puts Bella in. Also, this begins my favorite Edward trait in this movie - this man is a GASLIGHTER. Bella confronts Edward about how he got to her so fast and why his eyes are different colors and he says 1) he was right next to her and 2) “its the fluorescence.” Bella fights back, but he laughs her off. He talks about how she hit her head and is confused. When she keeps fighting, he says “well, no one is gonna believe you,” WHICH IS A CRAZY THING TO SAY!!!!

In the next scene, Bella is having some small flashbacks to the car accident, which could just be PTSD, but as I mentioned earlier, PTSD shares a lot of symptoms with Stockholm Syndrome. Bella is zoning out and not paying attention to Mike while he asks her to prom, but at this point, she is still nice fun Bella. She even puts in a good word for Jessica. However, at the greenhouse, Edward gets mad at Bella for tripping and tells her that she can’t be his friend. It’s a weird back and forth that definitely isn’t helping her psyche. She thinks the guy who saved her life regrets it, which would fuck you up for sure.

This has nothing to do with my argument, but I need to mention that in the next scene, we get both “its la push baby, la push” as well as Edward kicking the apple up into his hands in a way that defies logic and gravity. It’s cinema perfection. To be fair, in this scene, Edward says that Bella would be smart to stay away from him. He may not be trying to force Bella into a Stockholm syndrome situation, but I am sure those bank robbers weren’t either.

Bella is still herself at this point. She goes to the beach with her friends, hangs out with Jacob, and gives the girls advice about the Prom. She asks to go with the girls to prom dress shop all on her own, but she is kinda zoned out and reading a book because she just wants to go to the bookstore. I appreciate that she tried to participate in the girly things her friends wanted to do, but then she is dumb as fuck and walks down the darkest and creepiest alley ever. These gross ass adult men jump her, and Edward comes to the rescue in his teeny tiny little car. Slay! But do you wanna know what’s not slay? Edward was literally stalking her, but Bella feels blessed because he saved her once again. At dinner, Edward, in the creepiest way possible tells her that “he feels very protective of her.” I am obsessed with how quickly Bella accepts that he can read minds. Like what the fuck is wrong with her. But here, we can start to see the change in Bella despite the warning signs - Edward was LITERALLY STALKING HER. GET A GRIP GIRL!!

After Waylan’s death, Bella has flashbacks for a second time! and it makes her start reading the book about vampires. This leads us to an incredible scene of internet sleuthing about vampires and having MORE FLASHBACKS to when Edward saved her. Someone get this girl some help. In the next scene, we get the incredible confrontation between Edward and Bella in the woods. Something I need to bring up here - this girl knows that Edward has stalked her, and she is pretty sure that he is a dangerous vampire. YET!!! She decides to walk out into the forest ALONE with Edward to confront him somewhere no one could see. These two aren’t even together yet, and she has the worst self preservation skills of all time! Then - when she finds out that he has been 17 “for a while” she STAYS AND KEEPS TALKING TO HIM!!!

Now, here is where I truly feel like my evidence really begins. When Edward talks about what vampires eat and how he is dangerous, Bella says “you won’t hurt me.” We are certainly seeing some crazy amounts of trust and sympathy for this man who was literally stalking her and may kill her out in the woods and is also a vampire. Remember how the Cleveland Clinic notes “sympathy for their captor’s behaviors” as one of the key signs of Stockholm Syndrome… She has no reason to believe in him, but she does. Edward drags her through the woods and then forces her up the mountain to reveal how weird and shiny he is. “This is the skin of a killer, Bella” should have really made her turn around and run, like he is literally admitting to being a killer and she says “I don’t believe that.” GIRL!! GET OUT OF THERE!! RUN BITCH!!

I find it interesting that Edward in this scene says that his voice, his face, and his smell are tricking Bella into being drawn in because he is a predator, and it is a trap. He talks about how he was designed to kill and how Bella would never be able to out run him or fight him off, and he is trying to physically demonstrate the threat by throwing shit around. It is a scary display! Edward does a lot in the first few movies to stay away from Bella, but eventually, he does fight to keep her around despite the fact that he KNOWS that he’s 100 years older than her (ew) and he KNOWS that his vampire whiles have tricked Bella’s brain into being attracted to him. Honestly, if he were a good man and not a weird criminal, he would have just moved. Like why do the Cullen kids even need to be in school. Let them pretend to be in their 20s for a while and move away from this poor dumb girl.

As soon as Edward and Bella get together in the woods, she says she is in love with him. Girl, BFFR. We start to see Bella pull away now that she has Edward. Bella ignores all of her friends at school to be with Edward.

Ok, now Charlie is on the hunt for the “animal” killing people. Bella fully knows that its a vampire and that those vampires can kill Charlie and her friends, but she doesn’t say anything because she now has this weird allegiance to the Cullens. She also won’t tell her dad that she’s dating Edward. Mike tells Bella that he doesn’t like Edward dating her because “he looks at you like you’re something to eat.” I know that Mike says that shit because he used to have a thing for Bella, but it says something when your friends are worried about your boyfriend and you brush them off… That’s not a good sign.

That night, Edward just appears in her room while she is on the phone with her mom and ADMITS TO SNEAKING INTO HER ROOM FOR THE PAST FEW MONTHS??? TO WATCH HER SLEEP??? Bella thinks its hot. Literally what the fuck girl get a GRIP. Now, when Edward introduces himself to Charlie, he looks hot. My theory, and you can test it as you watch the series, is that Edward gets hotter over time because Bella gets deeper and deeper into her Stockholm syndrome situation. A lot of the other characters are their hottest in this movie, but Edward gets hotter as Bella loses her mind. I think that is saying something.

BASEBALL SCENE!!! BASEBALL SCENE!!! BASEBALL SCENE!!!

Now we are in the first instance where Edward has put Bella in danger - the three rogue vampires find out about her while the Cullens play baseball. This won’t put Bella into danger until later, but it fully is Edward’s fault that she was out in the woods where the vampires could find her. What it does do is force Bella to choose between Edward and Charlie, and this one singular time, she chooses correctly. Bella tells Edward to leave her alone. She isn’t fully sucked into the Cullen trap! JKJK!! It is all a trick to get Charlie to think she is leaving so he doesn’t worry about her! It is absolutely devastating to watch Bella hurt Charlie because Edward says “you have to.” Oh my god it is so hard to watch. DON’T HURT CHARLIE THAT’S MY MANZ!!!

This scene of Bella leaving really solidifies her jump from normal Bella to what we could call captive Bella. She is forced to leave her dad. She is painfully watching her friends have fun while she runs away with the Cullens and a boy she just kissed for the first time after he admitted to sneaking into her room for months. From here on out, we will watch her slowly pull away from everyone until it is just her and Edward. In this scene, Bella admits to being afraid and Edward says “Bella, you are my life now.” Insanity. It’s actually so scary. He also says that when it is over, they are gonna go somewhere alone. Isolating a 17 year old from her home, her friends, and her family is manipulative creep behavior, even if it’s because a scary vampire is trying to get her. Especially when it’s your fault for the vampire even knowing she was a target to begin with.

James tricks Bella into coming to the ballet studio alone and beats the shit out of her before biting her, which nearly kills her. Edward has to suck the poison out because Alice gets horny off Bella’s blood. Bella has to watch a murder happen while Edward just lets her suffer until he decides what to do with her. Edward then takes too much of her blood despite Carlisle telling him when to stop, which is a cool and totally not bad thing to do to your girlfriend when she is on the brink of death. When Bella wakes up, she thanks Edward for saving her, solidifying this savior idea she has about a man who will continue to put her in danger.

Oh god and I totally forgot about the boot to prom. Now, right before the end of the movie, we get one final attempt at a friend trying to save Bella. Jacob gets paid by his dad to tell Bella to break up with Edward. Another adult man informing Bella of what a mistake she is making. She is just like ok whatever bye! Note, she goes to prom with Edward and not any of her friends, even though her friends were so excited about it. She does say hi to her friends, but Edward takes her outside, and they spend the entire prom alone together. It is really fucked that the soundtrack goes so hard in this movie because I start to tear up even knowing that she is going to lose all of her friends and family for Edward.

At the end of this movie, we know a few things about Bella and Edward. Bella starts off as a shy girl with friends who spends time with her dad and calls her mom often. When she meets Edward, she idolizes him after he saves her life a few times. He tries to explain how much of a fucking creep he is by admitting to stalking her, being a murderer, and sneaking into her home for months. She thinks its hot and says that she loves him. Edward, despite being 117 and knowing better than to be into a 17 year old girl, brings her into his family and exposes her to other vampires. Those vampires hunt her for sport and to “protect her,” Edward forces her to lie and leave her friends and family. She now has no one else besides the Cullens. While they do save her, it is their fault for putting her in this situation. However, because they save her from James, she sees them as her savior rather than her captor.

Now, we will complete our analysis by quickly going over the evidence from the other four movies. It is going to be less descriptive because I could not make myself watch this entire series again after watching it literally 2 months ago.

Everyone, buckle up because it is New Moon time. Before we get started, I would love to read the character descriptions from the New Moon entry of Wikipedia:

Kristen Stewart as Bella Swan, a teenage girl who falls into a deep depression after her true love, Edward Cullen, leaves her. Her friendship with Jacob Black is expanded as she realizes that he can mend the hole left open by Edward

Robert Pattinson as Edward Cullen, Bella's vampire boyfriend who abruptly leaves town to protect her.

Taylor Lautner as Jacob Black, a cheerful companion who eases Bella's pain over losing Edward. He reveals to Bella that he is part of a pack of werewolves whose main goal is to protect her from the vampires Laurent and Victoria

Totally off topic, but I went into the talk page for this bc I love Wikipedia editor drama and someone reviewing this page marked it as stable because it doesn’t have an editing war happening in it. I just love Wikipedia editor culture. Anyway -

In the beginning of this movie, Bella gets a paper cut at her birthday party, which is with the Cullens and not her friends, and Jasper tries to kill her. Again, we are so clearly in “the Cullens are the threat” territory but this bitch has her blinders on hard core. Edward freaks out about it ,and his family moves out of Forks to protect her. At this point, you must be saying, “how could she have stockholm syndrome if he left to protect her?” Just you wait. If you remember from before, sometimes Stockholm syndrome manifests as anxiety, being unable to relax or concentrate, and withdrawing. Well, my girl Bella goes through a major depressive episode when Edward leaves and seemingly stays in her room for months just moping around. The only reason Bella reconnects with anyone is because Charlie threatens to send her to Jacksonville to live with her mom. So, Bella goes to see a movie with Jessica. However, instead of just enjoying the movie like a normal person, she goes up to some bikers she sees on the street and gets on a fucking strangers bike so she can see a force ghost of Edward.

This entire movie is about Bella doing dangerous activities so she can see a memory of Edward even though she has a support system she could use to safely get over the breakup. Jacob tries to be a friend but ends up helping Bella do dangerous shit to see force ghost Edward. Unrelated to literally anything, Jacob goes through werewolf puberty and has to ditch Bella too. The distance doesn’t last long thought. Bella is quickly attacked by Laurent, one of the rogue vampires. You remember, the guy who discovered Bella when Edward had her out in the woods to play baseball. Remember the guy who was friends with the guy who literally almost killed Bella like a few months ago. Yes, that Laurent. The werewolves save Bella and that starts a whole other thing for these movies with the pack politics and the werewolf - vampire feud that we won’t get into.

Bella says yolo and does the dumbest shit ever - go cliff jumping alone in Washington to see her ex-boyfriend. I do want to note that Bella and Edward have known each other at this point for 6 months, and they have been apart for 6 months. Literally, they were together for less time than they have been broken up. It’s insane. And I know that I usually like to give teen romances a break because teens have big feelings and love can be all consuming at that time, but this girl is constantly in danger and depressed because of a man she has maybe kissed 3 times and is 117. Also unrelated, but this twilight wiki article on the timeline mentions that when the Cullens move away, they move to Ithaca where Jasper becomes a philosophy student?? Are you talking about the same Jasper who fought for the confederate side?? Ok yeah ok.

Anyway, Alice sees this in her vision, and Edward, thinking Bella is dead, tries to kill himself. I literally don’t care. Alice and Bella fly to Italy to save Edward. They do, and after some negotiating with the Volturi, they get to leave when they promise to eventually turn Bella into a vampire. At the end of the movie, we see Edward make what Stephanie Meyer would call a compromise and I would call a quid-pro-quo. He promises to turn her into a vampire, which is her dream, ONLY if she marries him. Remember, he is 118 at this point and she is freshly 18, but yeah pop off I guess. No weird power dynamic going on here. Definitely no reason to be worried about this relationship at all.

Our next movie is Eclipse. I would like to note that in the Eclipse talk page on Wikipedia, it is listed as a horror as is Breaking Dawn part 1… I’m gonna say that is a point in my favor too.

This movie is really just a way to exploit the love triangle of the series, but I think it illuminates the weird tension and power dynamic that Edward and Bella have together. Now that Edward and Bella have been reunited after Edward tries to (with an Italian accent and the hands 🤌🏻) kill himself, he proposes. Bella doesn’t want to get married at 18. Like thank god she has 2 brain cells in this movie. I have to note that when Edward proposes, they have been back together for 3 months, and together for a total of 10 months at the most. She is really uncertain about the whole thing, partially because she is so young and partially because her parents didn’t stick together.

Something I think is interesting in this movie is the fact that Bella legally has to be turned into a vampire to fulfill her agreement with the Volturi. If she doesn’t get turned, she will be killed by them. Edward refuses to turn Bella into a vampire unless she marries him. In a way, he is forcing Bella to chose between two options she doesn’t want: get married or get murdered by scary Dakota Fanning. She no longer has any agency in her life or her decision to become a vampire - she literally has to pick getting married. Now, because she has been tricked into falling in love with an 118 year old murderer, she thinks it will work out just fine. I just wanted to bring up that plot point because it really is so gross of Edward??

Next in Eclipse, Jacob kisses Bella, and she breaks her hand trying to punch him. At the same time, we get some training montages to prepare for the battle with Victoria, the lover of James, remember James who almost killed Bella. Yeah, well she’s a coming, and she’s bringing some fresh vampires. During the training, Jasper tells Bella about how he hated his life until he met Alice, and that is enough to convince her to marry Edward. I love when a heart to heart with a canonical confederate soldier fixes my relationship problems.

Because of Victoria and the need to force the love triangle, Jacob, Bella, and Edward go on a camping trip. While Bella tries not to die of hypothermia, Jacob gets mad about them being engaged and runs off. Bella then kisses Jacob to keep him from running away because thats how you shut people up in romance movies but also because apparently now she loves him?? Edward is like ¯\(ツ)/¯ because “he knows that she doesn’t love Jacob as much as him” and maybe also because if she chooses Jacob she will literally be murdered by the Italian vampire squad??

There is a fight and like its fine and then the Volturi remind Bella of their deal, so she chooses Edward. Again, it is great to choose your partner under duress, especially when it is entirely your partner’s fault that you are under duress. Wikipedia describes the end of this movie as follows: “Bella and Edward go to their meadow, where she tells him she has decided to do things his way: get married, have sex, then be transformed into a vampire, and that she feels complete in his world. They decide to tell Charlie about their engagement.” I always forget how important Edward’s “old fashioned views” on sex and relationships are in these movies until I rewatch. Nothing reminds me more about this 100 year age gap than Edward not wanting to take her flower before God intended. Ugh, anyway.

On to Breaking Dawn Part 1!! I hate this movie, but boy does it have a lot to discuss.

This movie opens on the wedding. Our sweet lil girl is finally marrying her 118 year old spooky boyfriend so she doesn’t get murdered! How beautiful. But before that, we get Edward admitting to Bella that he used to murder people for sport after he got turned even though Carlisle told him not to. Very cool Ed!! Bella says that its ok because he probably was saving more lives by killing these weirdos, which is another good example of siding with her captor. Side note, but Bella is all in on getting married and never seeing her friends and family again as Edward reaches peak hottie status in the series… Coincidence?

In the scenes leading up to the wedding, we see two Bellas: the one around Edward who is so sure about getting married BECAUSE she is so sure about becoming a vampire and the one around her friends and family who looks nervous and unsure about the wedding. She looks like she’s having a panic attack, especially as Charlie walks her down the aisle. That could just be because she’s shy Bella but I think maybe there is something more going on here.

At the wedding, we hear from some of the speeches from Bella’s friends and family. Emmett gives a horny ass toast. Jessica gives a crazy speech about how she is hotter than Bella. Charlie says “Edward will be a good husband. I know this because I am a cop.” which devolves into him just threatening Edward. Bella’s mom sings a lullaby that goes on for a criminal amount of time. Alice bashes Bella’s fashion sense. Esme gives a harrowing speech about protecting Bella forever.

In one of my favorite scenes of the series, we watch Jacob and Bella reconnect. I am going to include the best part after I talk about this evidence, but here Jacob says “I should be used to saying goodbye to you.” Remember how, since vampires don’t age, Bella is going to have to leave literally every single person she knows and loves to live exclusively with Edward, a man who invites endless danger and also is a creep? Woof it is hard to watch. Then, Jacob gets mad at Bella, rightfully!, for planning on getting dicked down by her vampire husband before she turns vampire.

Before she goes on her honeymoon, Bella has a tearful goodbye with her parents, who she knows she will never see again. It’s really sad?? She can hear the wolves howling and is even more sad. From here on out, Bella will only have the Cullens. She has committed herself forever to this group of people who constantly endanger her, partially because if she didn’t Michael Sheen would kill her.

Now, the rest of this movie is Bella’s pregnancy. Fun fact, she is aware of her pregnancy for less than 14 days before she gives birth. According to the book and a tiktok Twilight historian I follow, they have sex on August 14th. From August 15th to 20th, Bella is having weird dreams and eating raw chicken. On August 21st, they have sex again and 10 days later, she realizes she missed her period. When Jacob sees Bella all gross and pregnant, 7 days have gone by. Renesmee is born on 9/11. It’s WILD.

So now, this poor girl has had sex exactly twice like shes Lane from Gilmore Girls, and she’s pregnant. And guess what? Edward is like fucking EW get rid of that thing rn. This man, who was all about proper godly values, is like abort that creature. She’s like no I wanna keep this baby, and he won’t even try to be understanding. So now, Bella doesn’t even really have her husband as a support system or any of her family to get her through this. She just has the Cullen girlies until Edward can read the baby’s thoughts and he’s like oh sweet the baby means no harm on my wife who I’ve abandoned many times and also forced to leave her entire support system.

Bella dies in the most gruesome childbirth scene of all time, and Edward turns her into a vampire.

FINAL MOVIE!!! BREAKING DAWN PART 2

Most of this movie is irrelevant. However, in the beginning, we get my actual favorite scene in all of twilight [you imprinted on my daughter??]. Edward is SO HOT, peak hot one could argue, in this movie. Now that Bella is fully indoctrinated into the Cullen family, Edward becomes as hot as possible. His total mind takeover is complete.

Anyway, this movie really reminds us of the impact the Cullens have had on isolating Bella. Charlie is desperate to know anything about Bella’s health and where she is, btu the Cullens are like yo - we gotta move and never talk to him again. We gotta pack our bags and move away. Jacob is like thats absolute bullshit so he snitches to Charlie. He doesn’t tell him everything so it seems to be ok? They say that Renesme is adopted and Bella is no longer sick, so its gucci.

The rest of the movie is just about the Volturi bullshit and Alice girlbossing until Bella, Edward, and Renesme get to be a happy family, totally cut off from the outside world.

To recap, people who have Stockholm syndrome have:

Positive feelings toward the captors or abusers aka the Cullens

Sympathy for their captors’ beliefs and behaviors aka Edward being a stalker and a murderer and a pedophile

Negative feelings toward police or other authority figures aka Charlie and the werewolf pack when they warn against being with the Cullens

Other symptoms are similar to post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) and include:

Flashbacks like all of the ones she had in Twilight and the force ghost projections in New Moon

Feeling distrustful, irritated, jittery or anxious which only gets worse in Bella as she spends more time with the Cullens.

Can’t relax or enjoy things that you previously enjoyed - this bitch is on edge all the time and everything in her life has become life or death at 18.

Trouble concentrating - you know it, especially in New Moon.

Over time, we watch Edward get hotter as Bella feels more and more tied with the Cullens. When she has no other way of surviving, she marries Edward and then is removed from her community forever. She can’t even share the miracle of her becoming a mother with anyone. It is upsetting to watch, and that’s why I believe this franchise is actually a horror story warning us about Stockholm Syndrome.

Closing Statement

Honorable members of the jury, I am sorry that I put you through this today. I can’t say what compelled me to do this other than grad school procrastination and a recent hyperfixation on Twilight. I hope you can all look at this movie with a clinical eye, as doctors recognized by the court today, and see that yes, Edward put Bella in danger many times and yes, she thought he was hotter every time he revealed something fucking heinous about himself. We should all watch these films not as romances, but as warnings. Don’t fall in love with weird loners who are 117 years old. Don’t join a family with a confederate soldier. It will only cause you irreperable psychological damage and physical pain and also give you a weird baby that your ex-lover imprints on. Please don’t find me guilty of bad taste for believing Twilight is a Stockholm Syndrome horror film.

#raccoon court #twilight #twilight saga #essay

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consistentsquash · 2 years

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Happy Birthday/Author Love Letter! Eldritcher!

You know how you have that one big moment when you read something after which your life won't be the same again because you suddenly realized something about yourself you didn't know/didn't want to accept? Eldritcher's fics did that for me.

Generally I am super afraid to write author spotlights/love letters because it’s definitely safer/less personal when I can just do content recs instead. Because what if you rec an author and you find out later they are a bigot or something! But pretty confident to take the risk about this one. Because Eldritcher is amazing as a person.

Where do I even start!!! I mean!!! Multifandom gem <3

Once more. He must sing once more. Caraxes had never denied him in the end.

Because that's what eldritcher's writing is all about. It's about trying just one more time to make things work. It's about staying hopeful in the middle of epic tragedies. It's about how love clasps grief but it's still worth it because it's love.

Some background context

So at first glance it can look like Eldritcher has a lot of fics. But technically they are much less prolific compared to a lot of authors and only really have around a dozen stories. But these stories are usually really grand epic scale masterpieces.

Sunset (2008)

Fandom - Silmarillion/Lord of the Rings

Rec -Baby! Aww! Written when they were like 16. I really love how idealistic and totally kinky these fics get. It's got the type of total, shameless indulgence that just doesn't show up in E's later fics. But don't underestimate the story. It's really deep and beautifully characterized. The recurring topics on War, PTSD and masculinity are already here. To quote from @ten-thousand-leaves because they pretty much said everything I was going to say

1. Hands down, the most tragic, captivating and horrendously, eerily beautiful portrayal of Maedhros I have EVAR seen in fics. Though it might be very, very unconventional. I loved it to pieces.

2. The magnitude of the plot and the scale and the end game. Small hints to what it is all about are strewn throughout the stories, but MY GOD, the mastermind behind it!

3. Bittersweet ending. I bawled my eyes out and had to be treated with loads of fluffy porn.

(Author Appreciation Week, Eldritcher)

Fic Vibe quote

He is a lost cause, brother. Look into his eyes. The truth runs deep there, beneath the pretence he dons. It was not merely his body that he pawned for his cause. It was his mind and his soul too. We cannot save him, Atarinkë. But if we can ease his pain in any manner, forbidden or not, then we must. That is why I did not protest to his wretched games with Findekáno. I cannot deny that they alleviated his mental torment. Now, if Macalaurë’s regard brings about that end, then I say, bless Macalaurë for loving him.

Eldritch (2010)

Fandom - Harry Potter

The fics from this set people usually know more directly - The Prometheus Triptych, The Minerva Quartets, The Judas Sextet, Black Tales.

Rec - Darkfics focused on Dumbledore, Tom Riddle, McGonagall, the Black family and Snape. They are all amazing. Definitely going to be a different experience compared to the author's more matured voice. But it's pretty amazing how their writing has that unique emotional connect from Day One. To quote from @squibstress because they said it perfectly.

These are stories about the beautiful and dreadful parts of being humans who love. They cut to the heart of what it is to long for what we know we should not want, and knowing the price, want it just the same.

(Fic Recs by Squibstress)

Fic Vibe quote

“You are alive,” Severus pointed out. “And the Dark Lord is dead.” Harry waved his hand half-heartedly and said, “I killed the mad sod. Why does everyone say that I saved the world or that he is dead? He is dead because I killed him. I did not even kill him very cleanly, you know. I killed him piece by piece, Horcrux by Horcrux. It is very convenient to forget that. The greater good and all that.”

A Four Chord Carousel (2016)

Fandom - Harry Potter

The fics from this set people usually know more directly - CATULLUS 16! Epic of the Forgotten (that intersex Viktor Krum/Voldemort fic which everybody needs to read).

Rec - Total commitment to pr0n. But being eldritcher they somehow managed to write complex gender and relationship dynamics with some of the best plots I have read in HP fanfic. Quoting from @rendered-reversed because they really got the spirit of this series.

I am definitely in love with the writing, and if you love literature/philosophy references, smut, plot, and different takes on LV, then you will love this fic too. Oh, and did I mention angst, because I bawled like a baby at certain points. Settle down and prep your tissue box (for tears, for wanking, whichever you prefer…maybe both and maybe at the same time too, watch out).

(Harrymort recs)

Fic Vibe quote

And later, Harry asked him softly, “Are we on Catullus still?” “I think I have traversed to Sonnet Fifty Eight, to serfdom at my lover's beck and call, mastered by his heart. Luckily for me, you are Harry, our hero, so full of grace.”

Unvollendete (2018)

Fandom - Harry Potter

The fics from this set people usually know more directly - ALMAGEST! The best slash fic I have read in my whole life.

Rec - Unvollendete is Schubert's unfinished symphony. Pretty much the theme of this series. It's really dark and intense. Also really raw. If you want to experience Eldritcher's rawest writing style this is it. From Brown Sugar to Almagest to Caliban to Omphale, this is eldritcher's most intense/powerful/raw writing in a nutshell. I am going to quote from my own rec list like a total weirdo because I have feelings and FEELINGS about this arc

This fic makes me feel everything I am capable of feeling and then some. I am not a fan of Voldemort/Harry fics because of the tropes they usually have and the characterizations they go for. Almagest does the impossible. Beautiful writing, mature characterizations, brilliant plot. Albus is spectacular as the beating heart of the fic. Voldemort is brittle and cautious but he can't really hide his love for astronomy. Harry is true to himself here. (21 Slash Recs from 21 Years)

Fic Vibe Quote

He had not minded incorporeality; he had not felt corporeal in his body for most of his life. In Albania, as a spirit, his existence had been simpler. What would he do now? There was no end to this, he knew. Take my triumphs, Albus had said, and had omitted to tell him that he was placing a world upon his shoulders, a world Albus had not wanted to deal with. Death danced in his veins now, and he struggled to overcome being pulled into its mysteries. Mastery was not a single day's combat. He fought the hallows into submission each day, knowing that the mantle would fall upon Harry if he failed.

Human Things (2020)

Fandom - James Bond

Rec - So I am not really a James Bond canon expert. But this fic is one of my all time favs in any fandom because it really shows the deep understanding of war trauma without magic/scifi settings. This fic is about love. Not just the love of two people who are serving the same country with similar psychological difficulties. This is love in capital letters. This is love in the epic sense. It’s consuming, terrifying and capable of incredible sacrifices. You can read it canon blind and still get totally wrecked.

Vibe Quote

Mallory had known the bent of his heart from the beginning, and surrendered in grace. James had blundered into his fate unknowing, railing against the inevitability of it. What did it matter how they had sailed home, through storm and peril? Nostos was a war-weary seafarer's journey home, only to find nothing the same. This rose-littered bed was not the seaside by Abruzzo where James had once dreamed he might make love to Vesper. Mallory had never dared aspire to another's care. This was not the home they had known to dream of, and yet, here they were, in a bower of two wrought of their will and want, whittled clean by the course of human things.

Pandemic (2021)

Fandom - Harry Potter

Rec - PANDEMIC! I mean I shouldn't be so excited about a fic which is about the Coronavirus Pandemic. Also an intergenerational epic saga showing humanity's resilience through other big name pandemics in 20th/21st century. ALSO THE EMOTIONAL CONNECT LITERALLY SAVED MY LIFE. At least my therapist bills during the pandemic. Yay! Going to quote @clarasghosts who explains it really well

pandemic is a fic I will recommend until my dying day for a number of reasons. au where the second war ended in a truce, splitting up the magical country for over twenty years. then covid hits, and both sides are forced to work together. all of the fics on this list can get heavy, but this one handles mental on both a personal and national level. it really, successfully evokes life in 2020/2021, from the stock market to the despair of lockdown. harry, who lives alone, takes it particularly hard, and his depression begins manifesting as an obscurial. (tomarrymort recs)

Fic Vibe Quote

The shadowed places in Harry's heart that had known only loneliness gleamed bright as he held in his hands what he had longed for, through four decades of keening want and wish. "I wish you would not stare at me so." "Oh, but I must!" Harry vowed. "Wild and brave thing, heart of me." A horse with no name, come home from the rain, to Harry, at their loneliness's end.

Byzantium, Frabjous, Bestiarium (2021)

Fandom - Harry Potter

Rec - SNAPE. SNAPE. SEVERUS SNAPE! I mean. Enough said! If you want Snape and if you want to read eldritcher's writing this arc is pretty much it! Also Frabjous is the most intense Snape fic I read since the Snarry Games Angst fics. Also lots of Snarry. But the best fic is still Snape/Giant Squid. It's beautiful and eerie. Because that's how we roll. Also Tumtum tree is the single most ethereal kinkfic ever. Oranges and cheese. Because quoting my favorite Snarry Queen @danpuff-ao3

There is so much poetry in it (as in, written very much poetically) and so much joy in it, however unconventional. This one made my heart very happy and it sang to my soul (as all good poetry does.) Danpuff Answers

Fic Vibe Quote

That night has always meant to them the night at tower's edge. They killed a man, taking turns one after the other, with poison and with mercy. That night left Harry an orphan and turned him impotent in war. That night left Snape a widower and turned him impotent in body. What can Harry say? Those were times of shame and wrath, of senselessness and despair, of trudging on through the tulgey wood to the Jabberwock's lair.

Babylon (2021)

Fandom - Dune

Rec - What can you do with 13000 words? EVERYTHING. Apparently. This just kind of grabs your heart and stomps on it. Also fixes it. Somewhat. Because this is a bittersweet tragedy you just can't stop reading because of how much love it contains. LaurenX had a great take on their rec list which I 100% agree with.

The intimacy of this is staggering, and the imagery is even heavier. Never have I felt more like I was intruding upon something delicate and raw and sacred than while reading this. prophetic sand

Vibe Quote

There was no shame in the boy's confession. He held Duncan's gaze, frank as no lord's get should be, and the candour of his gaze held back no secrets. Had the Baron Harkonnen once led men to his bed by mere virtue of a coy glance? The boy did not know the inappropriateness of what he was doing. If the Duke knew, if the concubine knew-

Kalinka (2021)

Fandom - Kingsman

Rec - Ok. So this isn't one of the Cool Kingsman movies. I don't even know who watched this movie. But the fic. OMG. The fic. It's got this World War I intergenerational mess with a lot of cultural pain. Also Rasputin. I mean this really is intense and beautiful plus it's got Rasputin.

Grigori took him by the hand and led him outside to the pond. The moon soared high and full, before it was made amandine by a cloud's skirt over it. Grigori kissed the Duke once more. Then he shoved him into the water. He had made the Duke whole with a healer's hands. He had taught the Duke with a lover's hands. He drowned the Duke with a killer's hands.

Ossuarium (2022)

Fandom - House of the Dragon

Rec - The best HOTD/ASOIAF fic I have read. Also the best GENDER. I mean. So much gender. I have recced this fic like 200 times now. So I won't go into more details here! But also. This fic!!!! Omg. This fic. Never getting over it.

But anyway. I love Eldritcher's works. <3 They are amazing as a person. Also. So. Much. Love.

#eldritcher #author love letter #fandom #author recs #celebrating fandom authors #hp fandom #snape fandom #hotd fandom

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