Mera naam... (Monkey man Kid X Reader)
A/n: uhhhh idk if I like it as much as coconut & honey but enjoy!
'you should never lie'
his mother once told him with angry eyes that he hated to see so much. When Kid was just 8 years old, he had lied to his poor mother about going to play near the river just in front of their humble home, instead, going off far away into the market because he wanted to buy the bangle she's been eyeing for a while.
He's been a proper good boy, he swore, he helped Mr Deepesh, their next door neighbour, by cleaning up his chicken coop for money. He didn't mean to worry her.
'You shouldn't lie to the people you love, even when you think it's for a good reason, a lie is a lie,' she had worriedly say while hugging her boy to her chest.
He didn't think those words would haunt him 20 years later. Kid didn't even mean to lie to you, he didn't even mean to fall for you, but he had, and his lies only bury him into a deeper hole.
"Bobby? You're ready to go?" your sweet voice snapped him out of his thoughts, the beer he's been nursing while you pack up the kitchen still in his hand.
"yeah," he nods, giving you a small smile. You wrapped your hands around his arm so easily as if you've been doing it for years, in reality it's only been 4 months.
4 months of lies
4 months of love
His mind wandered back to how he got here, with your hands wrapped around his arm, heading for your motorcycle. Was it that night? When he first entered his shift, he noticed you eyeing him. He didn't think much of it, you were a chef after all. You could've just been curious about the new staff.
Was it when he keeps staring at you too? Unintentionally?
But it's definitely when you start smiling at him. He's never had any other thought than revenge then this.. You... You happened.
"hey handsome, where's your mind travelling to?" you asked so sweetly he didn't even mind. Kid didn't know much about himself but he knew he hated when anyone else interrupt his thought process, not you though, never you.
Kid smiled and shook his head. "nowhere, right here," he covered it up with a quick peck on your lips and took your helmet from you, placing it onto your head and pinning it on for you, then with a stupid smile on his face he lifted the visor to boop your nose. You chuckled.
Fuck, is this love? This overwhelming feeling over the slightest thing you do?
He put on his own helmet and got on the bike, waiting till you get on too. His waist never felt so empty until you wrapped your arms around them.
4 months ago he didn't even have his own room, now he's heading to "our store" getting off the bike and ordering "the usual" and going straight to "our spot"
He doesn't even know who he is anymore.
Your kiss on his lips brought him back to reality.
"congrats, baby, on making it to VIP floor." you said with a smile on your lips.
If only you knew why he wanted to be on VIP floor so bad.
"thank you, jaan," he whispered softly, arms around your waist, swaying left to right lightly as if dancing to a song. He leaned down and kissed you again. "what's this? What's wrong?" damn you, you always somehow knew, your finger tracing his eyebrows as if to pull the frown out of his face.
He didn't know what to say. Tell you what? He's not at all who you think he is? He's plotting to kill a man? Burn the hotel? Kill one of the most influential fucking man in India?
"hey, you can tell me, Bobby, I'm here," you called that name so lovingly he had to physically fight from flinching.
In a perfect world where he isn't such a coward he'll open his mouth and tell you the truth but the truth is he's just that, a coward.
"i swear it's nothing, jaanu, just... Tired," he smiled and hugged you burying his nose in your neck, scared that he'll forget what you smell like once you find out who he is.
Your fingers snaked into his curls, playing with them like always, like it's yours, like he's yours.
"I've got you, always," you whispered into his ear, planting a soft kiss after.
He hope you meant that
Because after almost 2 months of disappearing, hiding from the police in the temple with the hijras, he's back, at your house, knocking.
You opened the door, you looked great but your eyes looks almost dead, somber.
"jaanu," that's all he could whisper, seeing you again is...
You tried to close the door but his reflexes made him able to hold the door open.
"please, please just let me explain myself"
You looked at him and scoff. "explain what? I don't even know who you are, what could you possibly say to me? What was your plan? Kill Rana and pin it on me or something? Is that it?" your voice gets shakier and shakier by each sentence, your grip on the door loosen. Kid quickly shook his head.
"no, no, never, jaanu," he had wrapped his arms around your crying figure, his body is half through the door, cupping your cheek and tenderly caressed your tears away.
"I trusted you! I loved you!" you cried out and all he could do was hold onto you while you smack your fists on his chest again and again.
"I know, i know," he whispered, he lead you inside as you limped against him.
On the couch he held you, tighter than usual, he lets you cry onto his chest, not caring about the condition of his shirt.
"you didn't call, you didn't explain, you just vanished, I thought you fucking died!" you cried out.
"I know jaan, I'm sorry, I'm sorry" thats all he can offer. He kept whispering apologies and sweet nothings into your ear until you end up falling asleep on his chest. He laid you down on the couch, planted a soft kiss on your forehead and went to the kitchen. Skillfully manoeuvring through your kitchen, making a meal as he's been there countless of time. He didn't keep track of time, only glancing at the clock when he hears a croak of your voice calling his 'name'.
"I'm here jaan," Kid said walking towards the couch to see your eyes teared again.
"I thought you left again," you said with a whine in your voice, he sat next to you, arm pulling your towards him to kiss your head. "I'm here," he repeated.
"I went to make you some food, it's pretty early I don't think you've eaten," he explained, you simply nodded.
"I... I want you to explain to me who you are and what's happening." you said voice beyond tired.
"my name isn't Bobby,"
"yeah no shit," you scoffed, he only nodded, he's glad really, you're letting him hold you, touch you that's a good sign, right?
" my name... Is Kid. I worked at Queenie's hotel because I'm... Plotting revenge on Rana and Baba shakti. For killing my mother." his voice grew quieter and quieter. The obvious pain in his voice when he mentioned his mother.
"my hands," you looked at those hands, his scarred hands he meant, the ones you would plant kisses on after a night of passion, the ones you loved so much. "they got hurt when I tried to put out the fire my mother was set on... By Rana Singh," he said, face grew harder, voice turned colder.
You stared into his eyes. "Kid," you tried calling his name. He looked at you, all attention on you as if nothing else matters.
"I swear I didn't mean to rope you into this. I didn't mean to hurt you, I couldn't... I couldn't stay away from you, I tried. You consume me, my thoughts, I've never thought of anything else but revenge all my life and you walked into it and make me feel alive again. As if I could have any other life than just death after revenge. I never wanted to live but when I hold you I feel this fear of death that I've never felt before. Understand that all was real, my feelings for you was real, is real," he begged, his hands on your cheeks again.
"but you tried to kill him anyway, why?"
He shook his head. "when I saw him. When I saw that bastard I lost it. Why does he get to live his life while my mother is ashes somewhere on the forest floor?" he grunted, face angered.
You do what you always does, your finger start tracing his eyebrows, his face visibly soften. Like he could breathe again. He took your other hand and kissed it, leaning into your touch. He had been craving you, and you knew. "you're going after him again aren't you?"
"yeah" was all he could breathe out.
You sighed but you understood. The rage he has, it's all he knows.
"will you come back?"
His face lighten. "you want me to?" he asks, hopeful.
"always, always come back to me."
"but I'll be a fugitive by then," he said worried, he's not sure worried that you'll change your mind or that you'll be a fugitive too if you chose to follow him.
You shook your head. "I don't care, come back, we'll run together, I rather not live without you by my side. But Kid.."
"hm?" he asked, looking at you intently with your hands on his. "don't lie to me ever again. Ever." you warned.
He nodded his head and pulled you into him. "never, jaanu." he kissed you deeply, deeper than he ever did that day, lead your body the way he missed. He devoured you full that day, passion spilling into physical touches. He need you to understand his love. He needs you to scream his name. His real name.
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Part 2 of "The Womb Requires Us to Be Non-Violent" -Only Posted For 48 Hours!
Common Self-Inflicted Violent Acts in the Female Line
Working oneself to exhaustion, particularly if you are not at the survival level or at risk for being homeless/houseless if you do 2 less shows or work 2 less shifts, say "no" to a new project or new client, don't work extra hours, don't work at night, don't give all your life force to the company you work for, change your mind and say "no I can't go today"....etc. Holding an underlying fear of being disliked or disappointing people or power-hungry, money-hungry, overly-ambitious, or so overly-masculine and achievement-focused that you would be willing to hurt your body in the process then try to patch yourself up later....
Putting everyone and everything first before the wellness of your body, trying to do it all, mommy guilt when taking care of self, socially distracted in ways that provide less time for self-care, attempting to meet impossible deadlines....
Too much blue light e: scrolling social media, watching tv, reading google, or on your phone and computer in any other way right before bed time ....Not going to bed when tired and staying up late for no reason...not properly preparing one's body for deep rest...
Not building a relationship with one's body, including most intimate parts like pussy, breasts, deep throat area, belly/womb, hips, ass, scalp, pelvis, etc. Forgoing self-curiosity and self intimacy for a lover or relationship...
Limerence: Obsessing over someone who is not thinking about you or hasn't shown they care for you--using your life force to text that fool who hasn't called you back from your last text, settling for less in your relationships...
Not stretching or taking care of your body in other deeper ways and only focused on the superficial, what you look like on the outside, and not on how your body feels. Ignoring your body warnings....
Allowing stress and 'fight or flight' (the news, social media, celebrity culture....) into your brain chemistry (subconscious) and physiology first thing in the morning after you wake up, reaching for your phone rather than relaxing peaceful acts like music, meditation, chanting, humming, singing, stretching, lovemaking, going on a morning walk, , and the like....having a morning routine is helpful....
India Ame'ye, Author
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everyday i see clueless westerners (especially white people) peddle thinly veiled hindutva propaganda which they wouldn't know cause they know absolutely nothing about what goes on in india. so here are some signs that that the person you're talking to is a hindu nationalist:
they either do not acknowledge casteism or claim that caste is a western construct. my personal favourite however is dismissing anyone bringing up caste discrimination by saying that the indian constitution outlaws untouchability. they may also bring up the fact that the prime minister belongs to an other backwards class (obc) so clearly india has moved on from caste and hindutva isn't only for the upper castes. they possess a shallow understanding of caste
harping on about "islamic colonisation" : no, the mughals did not colonise india. when you point this out, they will immediately assume that you think muslim invaders were innocent beings who did nothing wrong, which is very much not what anyone is claiming here
while we're on the topic of "islamic colonisation" they will also refer to the demolishing of muslim sites of heritage and worship and then building hindu temples over them as "decolonisation" (cough cough ram mandir) the hindu right also goes around pretending that they're indigenous to india. this is false
along a similar vein, they will dismiss islamophobia by bringing up instances of hindu oppression in countries like pakistan and bangladesh. it is true that hindus are persecuted in these two countries, however they are used to fuel their oppression complex, that their upper caste hindu self is under attack in india of all places (think a white christian in the united states). you should be in solidarity with minorities everywhere. it is neither transactional or conditional (note: they will never bring up sri lanka. persecution of hindus exists only when the oppressors are muslim)
claiming that hindu nationalism and hindutva are not the same because hindutva means "hindu-ness". that is only the literal translation of the term. like it or not, they're the same thing
they support the indian military occupation of kashmir. they will call it an integral part of kashmir, one reason which will be "hinduism is indigenous to kashmir." they will also bring up the last maharaja of kashmir signing the instrument of accession as further proof, as if the consent of the people was taken
they're zionists. do i even need to explain this. hindutva is just zionism for hindus
they refer to buddhism and jainism (sikhism too sometimes) as branches of hinduism rather than separate, distinct religions
they condemn any resistance to the indian govt as a burden or terrorism (like calling the farmers who are currently protesting a hindrance or terrorists. funny how sikhs are the same as hindus when they support hindu causes but terrorists when they resist oppression...)
they call you a pseudo liberal or a fake leftist. i'm telling you, they don't know jackshit. they can't even tell the difference between a liberal and a leftist and call US unread lmao. bonus points if they call you a liberandu or a sickular 💀
they call india "bharat" when they talk in english. there are in fact multiple indian languages that call india bharat or bharatam, but if they say bharat while talking in english, that is absolutely a hindu nationalist no questions asked
please do your due diligence. read up on hindutva. hindu nationalists have already started making gains in the united states, thanks to rich upper caste nris. do not fall for propaganda
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