#I THINK that’s what they call it in India
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Mera naam... (Monkey man Kid X Reader)
A/n: uhhhh idk if I like it as much as coconut & honey but enjoy!
'you should never lie'
his mother once told him with angry eyes that he hated to see so much. When Kid was just 8 years old, he had lied to his poor mother about going to play near the river just in front of their humble home, instead, going off far away into the market because he wanted to buy the bangle she's been eyeing for a while.
He's been a proper good boy, he swore, he helped Mr Deepesh, their next door neighbour, by cleaning up his chicken coop for money. He didn't mean to worry her.
'You shouldn't lie to the people you love, even when you think it's for a good reason, a lie is a lie,' she had worriedly say while hugging her boy to her chest.
He didn't think those words would haunt him 20 years later. Kid didn't even mean to lie to you, he didn't even mean to fall for you, but he had, and his lies only bury him into a deeper hole.
"Bobby? You're ready to go?" your sweet voice snapped him out of his thoughts, the beer he's been nursing while you pack up the kitchen still in his hand.
"yeah," he nods, giving you a small smile. You wrapped your hands around his arm so easily as if you've been doing it for years, in reality it's only been 4 months.
4 months of lies
4 months of love
His mind wandered back to how he got here, with your hands wrapped around his arm, heading for your motorcycle. Was it that night? When he first entered his shift, he noticed you eyeing him. He didn't think much of it, you were a chef after all. You could've just been curious about the new staff.
Was it when he keeps staring at you too? Unintentionally?
But it's definitely when you start smiling at him. He's never had any other thought than revenge then this.. You... You happened.
"hey handsome, where's your mind travelling to?" you asked so sweetly he didn't even mind. Kid didn't know much about himself but he knew he hated when anyone else interrupt his thought process, not you though, never you.
Kid smiled and shook his head. "nowhere, right here," he covered it up with a quick peck on your lips and took your helmet from you, placing it onto your head and pinning it on for you, then with a stupid smile on his face he lifted the visor to boop your nose. You chuckled.
Fuck, is this love? This overwhelming feeling over the slightest thing you do?
He put on his own helmet and got on the bike, waiting till you get on too. His waist never felt so empty until you wrapped your arms around them.
4 months ago he didn't even have his own room, now he's heading to "our store" getting off the bike and ordering "the usual" and going straight to "our spot"
He doesn't even know who he is anymore.
Your kiss on his lips brought him back to reality.
"congrats, baby, on making it to VIP floor." you said with a smile on your lips.
If only you knew why he wanted to be on VIP floor so bad.
"thank you, jaan," he whispered softly, arms around your waist, swaying left to right lightly as if dancing to a song. He leaned down and kissed you again. "what's this? What's wrong?" damn you, you always somehow knew, your finger tracing his eyebrows as if to pull the frown out of his face.
He didn't know what to say. Tell you what? He's not at all who you think he is? He's plotting to kill a man? Burn the hotel? Kill one of the most influential fucking man in India?
"hey, you can tell me, Bobby, I'm here," you called that name so lovingly he had to physically fight from flinching.
In a perfect world where he isn't such a coward he'll open his mouth and tell you the truth but the truth is he's just that, a coward.
"i swear it's nothing, jaanu, just... Tired," he smiled and hugged you burying his nose in your neck, scared that he'll forget what you smell like once you find out who he is.
Your fingers snaked into his curls, playing with them like always, like it's yours, like he's yours.
"I've got you, always," you whispered into his ear, planting a soft kiss after.
He hope you meant that
Because after almost 2 months of disappearing, hiding from the police in the temple with the hijras, he's back, at your house, knocking.
You opened the door, you looked great but your eyes looks almost dead, somber.
"jaanu," that's all he could whisper, seeing you again is...
You tried to close the door but his reflexes made him able to hold the door open.
"please, please just let me explain myself"
You looked at him and scoff. "explain what? I don't even know who you are, what could you possibly say to me? What was your plan? Kill Rana and pin it on me or something? Is that it?" your voice gets shakier and shakier by each sentence, your grip on the door loosen. Kid quickly shook his head.
"no, no, never, jaanu," he had wrapped his arms around your crying figure, his body is half through the door, cupping your cheek and tenderly caressed your tears away.
"I trusted you! I loved you!" you cried out and all he could do was hold onto you while you smack your fists on his chest again and again.
"I know, i know," he whispered, he lead you inside as you limped against him.
On the couch he held you, tighter than usual, he lets you cry onto his chest, not caring about the condition of his shirt.
"you didn't call, you didn't explain, you just vanished, I thought you fucking died!" you cried out.
"I know jaan, I'm sorry, I'm sorry" thats all he can offer. He kept whispering apologies and sweet nothings into your ear until you end up falling asleep on his chest. He laid you down on the couch, planted a soft kiss on your forehead and went to the kitchen. Skillfully manoeuvring through your kitchen, making a meal as he's been there countless of time. He didn't keep track of time, only glancing at the clock when he hears a croak of your voice calling his 'name'.
"I'm here jaan," Kid said walking towards the couch to see your eyes teared again.
"I thought you left again," you said with a whine in your voice, he sat next to you, arm pulling your towards him to kiss your head. "I'm here," he repeated.
"I went to make you some food, it's pretty early I don't think you've eaten," he explained, you simply nodded.
"I... I want you to explain to me who you are and what's happening." you said voice beyond tired.
"my name isn't Bobby,"
"yeah no shit," you scoffed, he only nodded, he's glad really, you're letting him hold you, touch you that's a good sign, right?
" my name... Is Kid. I worked at Queenie's hotel because I'm... Plotting revenge on Rana and Baba shakti. For killing my mother." his voice grew quieter and quieter. The obvious pain in his voice when he mentioned his mother.
"my hands," you looked at those hands, his scarred hands he meant, the ones you would plant kisses on after a night of passion, the ones you loved so much. "they got hurt when I tried to put out the fire my mother was set on... By Rana Singh," he said, face grew harder, voice turned colder.
You stared into his eyes. "Kid," you tried calling his name. He looked at you, all attention on you as if nothing else matters.
"I swear I didn't mean to rope you into this. I didn't mean to hurt you, I couldn't... I couldn't stay away from you, I tried. You consume me, my thoughts, I've never thought of anything else but revenge all my life and you walked into it and make me feel alive again. As if I could have any other life than just death after revenge. I never wanted to live but when I hold you I feel this fear of death that I've never felt before. Understand that all was real, my feelings for you was real, is real," he begged, his hands on your cheeks again.
"but you tried to kill him anyway, why?"
He shook his head. "when I saw him. When I saw that bastard I lost it. Why does he get to live his life while my mother is ashes somewhere on the forest floor?" he grunted, face angered.
You do what you always does, your finger start tracing his eyebrows, his face visibly soften. Like he could breathe again. He took your other hand and kissed it, leaning into your touch. He had been craving you, and you knew. "you're going after him again aren't you?"
"yeah" was all he could breathe out.
You sighed but you understood. The rage he has, it's all he knows.
"will you come back?"
His face lighten. "you want me to?" he asks, hopeful.
"always, always come back to me."
"but I'll be a fugitive by then," he said worried, he's not sure worried that you'll change your mind or that you'll be a fugitive too if you chose to follow him.
You shook your head. "I don't care, come back, we'll run together, I rather not live without you by my side. But Kid.."
"hm?" he asked, looking at you intently with your hands on his. "don't lie to me ever again. Ever." you warned.
He nodded his head and pulled you into him. "never, jaanu." he kissed you deeply, deeper than he ever did that day, lead your body the way he missed. He devoured you full that day, passion spilling into physical touches. He need you to understand his love. He needs you to scream his name. His real name.
#kid monkey man#monkey man fanfiction#monkey man x reader#dev patel#monkey man fluff#monkey man imagine
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Part 2 of "The Womb Requires Us to Be Non-Violent" -Only Posted For 48 Hours!
Common Self-Inflicted Violent Acts in the Female Line
Working oneself to exhaustion, particularly if you are not at the survival level or at risk for being homeless/houseless if you do 2 less shows or work 2 less shifts, say "no" to a new project or new client, don't work extra hours, don't work at night, don't give all your life force to the company you work for, change your mind and say "no I can't go today"....etc. Holding an underlying fear of being disliked or disappointing people or power-hungry, money-hungry, overly-ambitious, or so overly-masculine and achievement-focused that you would be willing to hurt your body in the process then try to patch yourself up later....
Putting everyone and everything first before the wellness of your body, trying to do it all, mommy guilt when taking care of self, socially distracted in ways that provide less time for self-care, attempting to meet impossible deadlines....
Too much blue light e: scrolling social media, watching tv, reading google, or on your phone and computer in any other way right before bed time ....Not going to bed when tired and staying up late for no reason...not properly preparing one's body for deep rest...
Not building a relationship with one's body, including most intimate parts like pussy, breasts, deep throat area, belly/womb, hips, ass, scalp, pelvis, etc. Forgoing self-curiosity and self intimacy for a lover or relationship...
Limerence: Obsessing over someone who is not thinking about you or hasn't shown they care for you--using your life force to text that fool who hasn't called you back from your last text, settling for less in your relationships...
Not stretching or taking care of your body in other deeper ways and only focused on the superficial, what you look like on the outside, and not on how your body feels. Ignoring your body warnings....
Allowing stress and 'fight or flight' (the news, social media, celebrity culture....) into your brain chemistry (subconscious) and physiology first thing in the morning after you wake up, reaching for your phone rather than relaxing peaceful acts like music, meditation, chanting, humming, singing, stretching, lovemaking, going on a morning walk, , and the like....having a morning routine is helpful....
India Ame'ye, Author
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I had a question about hinduism can I ask you
I read that hinduism doesn't allow conversions.. Is that true? If true will that make hinduism an ethno-religion?
It'd be a bold claim to call a religion that around a BILLION people follow an "ethno-religion".
Ethnicity is already a pretty vague term and the current definitions of it have a viewpoint colonial viewpoint for it. Most people even view it as interchangeable with "race"(which is usually also defined by aUS imperialist lens). Personally, I would not consider the entire country of India as one ethnicity because it doesn't really meet the criteria of a single homogenous ethnicity to me. In fact, a lot of the national myth-making that one could say does point to it being one ethnicity was directly created to unite the country against a colonial force.
Hinduism has become largely homogenous now due to brahminical hinduism taking the centre stage and leading to the erasure of the different form of hindu religious practices/rituals and stories that were previously practised in different pockets all over the subcontinent.
Using this recent homogeneity to claim that all hindus could be classified as a single ethnicity, does a disservice to the entire religion, I think.
So no, if you ask me Hinduism is not an ethno-religion. People's opinions may differ but this is mine and I stick by it.
On the topic of religious conversions, I'm not the best person to ask because my response to anyone stopping other people from doing something completely harmless is to go "What are you, a cop?" Fuck people who police other people's actions for no reason other than to control people's actions and bodies, actually.
- Mod S
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Being a “tortured soul of a depressed Victorian woman ghost” is cool and all but I wanna be a sexy witch with backward feet livin in the forest torturing my in-laws and drinking the blood of man if ykwm
#IF YOUR BROWN YKWM LMFOANDJ#my grandpapi deadass believes churels are real#I showed him a meme of a chick w/backwards feet he actually screamed#RIP his ass frfr#desi#south asia#pakistan#desi folklore#south Asian folklore#desi culture#churel#dayan#daayan#I THINK that’s what they call it in India#idk I grew up calling them Churels
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homogenising something that has always been inherently diverse will kill us all one day.
#-> myra text#political critique#that is why hindutva should have not been popularised. hindutva is not decolonisation or reclamation.#it is homogenising and exclusionist. it takes away the diverse history of this country.#but this statement will reach deaf ears. rather than critiquing nobility they will go and bark casteist and islamphobic bs.#did invaders did what invaders do? yes. but this whole property destruction and lives being at risk has been going on for years.#biggest example who are quite popular: ajatshatru (son of bimbisara) & ashoka the great (the massacre at kaling)#i'm all in for criticising nobility i have no respect for any kings despite their religion and community and whatever.#they're all shits who benefited and left the common people to rot.#these people will say that tipu sultan is the devil reborn but will go on praising the marathas#as if the marathas did not cause a bloodshed in bengal karnataka and the punjab regions. not saying tipu is good but i rather#wanted to point out the hypocrisy of people in certain spaces. its a good thing to appreciate history and even better thing to learn from#the mistakes made in past but some of you guys did not understand the whole point.#absolute shit head cunts some of you guys are. come at me brand me whatever slurs you fuckers use i don't give a shit#calling people sex slaves just because they don't subscribe to your viewpoint is not the big own you think it is.#sanghi bs#india#hindutva
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they better give pavitr a clone saga at some point
kaine and ben reilly's relationship is heavily based off of cain and abel-- the "am I my brother's keeper" and the like. Kaine's name is literally a play on that. It's been acknowledged several times in the comics.
a really interesting adaptation for pavitr would be bhim (ben) and karna (kaine)
the inspiration for this comes from the Mahabharatha.
Simplifying the Mahabharatha: There are five brothers called the Pandavas (one of whom is named Bhim), who are heirs to the throne. However, their 100 cousins (Kauravas) also have a claim to the throne. They go through a great deal of hardships, after which the Pandavas win.
The leader of the Kauravas, Duryodhan, befriends someone not of noble blood, Karna, and elevates him to kingly status.
Karna is actually the first son of the Pandavas' mother; however, she abandoned him after his birth, as she was an unwed woman scared of being ostracized. Karna refused to forgive her, but promised he wouldn't hurt her four of her sons, except for one (Arjun).
The Pandavas only found out the truth after Karna's death.
so. could you imagine the narrative potential if we had Bhim and Karna? Brothers who feuded, and hell--didn't know they were brothers. (Pavitr works into this story somehow I swear--)
#pavitr prabhakar#spiderman india#okay ykw im turning them into character tags anyone who wants to use them feel free to do so#bhim rao#karna prabhakar#<- id rather call him karn but i think thats name of one of the inheritors or smthn lol#idk what maya aunty's maiden name would be so im using rao for now since it starts with r#but let me know if you have better ideas
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Wildest front of the grid I've ever seen
Though I'm crying at the commentary, why did they have to roast them like that 😭: "Certainly though grumpy old men at the front of the grid. The drivers on the first two rows have a combined age of 140, a combined race starts of 875."
#BRO THE OLDEST RIGHT THERE IS RUBENS AND HES ONLY 37 😭😭😭#ageism in f1 truly does exist ✊️😔#i wonder what theyd think if they got time transported to now and saw 42 yr old nando at p3#calling 32/35/36/37 yr olds grumpy old men my god 😭#but i think the wildest thing actually is that none of their teams exist in this form on the current grid#like imo all of these teams are technically extinct#brawn is mercedes/force india is aston/toyota is gone/sauber is uhhh not exactly sauber but is certainly not bmw#also all guys who havent been on the grade in a decade sob sob and all 90s drivers!!!#they cursed nick heidfeld yet again by saying 'will he finally get his win??' YOU KILLED HIM OKAY#i wanna know if theres an archive of the quali for this bcs the whole grid is really baffling tbh#catie.rambling.txt#2009 belgian gp
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I also think sometimes we forget David is somewhat racist and ableist via ignorance. The whole Thing in Order of the Sparrow and then him not wanting to "attract diabetics" with candy in the Candy Kingpin episode?? I don't think he means to be and once he knows better he would fix it but goddamn someone needs to tell him this shit isn't ok 😭
#camp camp#david camp camp#i like 2 think that after OotS that max fully chewed him out for that stunt#''jesus fucking christ david you cant dress up as someone elses race thats fucking racist''#and it only kinda then settles in what he did#because david was raised in the 90s and early 2000s when stuff like that was accepted#and when indigenous people were actually called indian#once max (rightfully) starts complaining about ''native american people arent fucking indian IM indian IM from INDIA' we're not the same''#david definitely works 2 educate himself and fix that stuff in himself
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if i dont move to nyc or london or paris by age 27 what is the point of anything
#i looooove my city so much you guys like if i wasnt who i am (queer) rn i would be so fucking glad that i am in my current city but#i loooove art and history and fashion and stuff and this citymight be about second best for all that but its still soo crowded#people WILL judge no matter what you wear something cutesy and people dont shut up especially when ur 16 and tagging along with your mom to#the mall or something and everyone just stares and even among your classmates ive been complimented so many times#for my unique style or whatever (aka i have beaded shoelaces and wear lots of jewelery and absurd ass eyeliner) and theyre like oh#n******** is so fancy itni stylish bandi hai woh and its so attention grabbing but i dont want it to be a big deal !!!#i want to like 20 badges and wear insane makeup and dye my hair without calling much attention to myself!!!#of course i know that will change slowly as you go in to uni and meet ppl of your type instead of a bazaar market and youll pick ur own#friends who r like minded but considering this is india how many people can you truly find.#also my next two years are going to be spent in a college for jee and neet kids#you can wear what you want theres no dress code but you have to appear serious studious and simple if you want to be taken seriously#elle woods at harvard law type#i asked my mom to get an industrial & second lobe piercing and actual dyed hair and shes like turn twenty get into a good college then do#not bc she minds she allowed me to get my hair dyed at age 13 but to go in th college im going to there is SO SO much rigour#and if you dont show yourself as professional and shit they will keep you in lower effort self study classes instead of best of the best#i KNOW how difficult moving abroad is bc my family does not have that money i need to do it myself its so so expensive bc the money#itself has such a high value compared to here (you see americans cribbing abt 30$ hourly wage but here that is 2500inr)#2500 inr is as much as an expensive pair of jeans here. expensive clothes here r 30$ and in usa its 300$ . see the diffence#im changing topics so much but sometimes i do feel this place is suffocating#its a priviledge i have that i can even think about going abroad comapred to other indians but still#dp you get what i mean#and ik movies and all are very romanticised so it might not even be this way in western cities and just an idealisation but still#if things change around here then the entire question of going anywhere is out the window anyway#smalltown boy will byers moment#dni if you read all this and plan on replying unless ur a close mutual (close mutuals u know who u are)#also if someone says why would you want to go to usa uk paris when they colonised your country shut up <3 shut up very much <3
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god i fucking hate spa.rkle sm . most shit i'm seeing says she's being racist against roman.ians , but . . . considering roman.ians are . white europeans ? and i haven't heard of much oppression towards roman.ians . I kinda doubt it ?? but you know what people whose oppression i've heard plenty of in roman.ia and who sound similar enough they constantly get confused with each other ? roma . who were enslaved for fucking centuries and to this day still face horrendous oppression in roman.ia . is she . is she fucking racist towards the h.sr version of part of my heritage . hoyo can i kick her can i please kick and punch her please please please pleaaaase pl
#➳ the fool speaks#i mean even if she just hates eastern europeans For Some Reason (roman.ians) that's still her being a racist bitch abt my heritage#<- roman.ian AND rom.ani#i deserve to kick her into the sun i think#also would this mean aven.turine is . rom.ani ? he's pale and blond . which wouldn't be toooo accurate i think ?#but ykw even if he is meant to be rom.ani n nawt roman.ian . and I'm right with all this . I don't expect hoyo to actually make someone fro#somewhere that is supposed to be based off of a culture and people that originates in northwestern india#have an ounce of color in their skin#he might also just be roman.ian but ?? then the slavery comments that I've seen around don't rlly make much sense .#but um !! idk this is going off of screenshots I've seen and what people r saying about aven.turine and her n all that so#n i haven't played in a while so idfk what's going on in the plot . this is just me being pissy about the possibility of a culture that's#still getting fucking oppressed horrendously and forgotten about and Not Even Having Their Oppression Taught To Others getting used . and#now a fucking . anime girl that I've already seen people saying they'll empty their wallets for n calling her their ''waifu 🥺''#is being a racist piece of shit abt it . like . i find it a bit distasteful. no ? like racism can and should be shown in media#but . . . don't . don't try to sell the racist character ? don't make them look cool ? like ? am i overreacting idfk i just hate spa.rkle#SHE EVEN HAS A STUPID NAME#WTF ''ah yes this racist ableist piece of shit let's name her fucking SPARKLE'' ????????? fucking hell i dont like her i hate her#if she's playable or becomes playable I deserve to punch everyone who spends on whatever her banner is in the jaw . sorry#tw slavery ment#tw racism ment#ask to tag
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hearing my professor say "sex workers" in class after and while literally and explicitely talking about nonwestern victims of sex trafficking using those terms like. im gonna eat my own tongue. im gonna scream so loudly and so silently it will burst my lungs. im going to become a black hole.
in general i find that term to be so fucking offensive bc it can only maybe apply to a very very small minority of well off economically privileged women who "choose" to do "sex work" (and even many of them talk abt feeling exploited - almost like prostitution is inherently expolitative wow) but. you know sometimes those "sex workers" are the only ones ppl rly picture, they dont picture street prostitution, hitckhiker hookers, sex trafficking, child sex trafficking, that the averege age of entering prostitution is 14, drug addiction, pimps, constant violence, etc
but. dear lord help me. in the context of literally taking explicitely about victims of "sex" trafficking in relation to poverty. to still have this postmodern god forsaken fucking nightmare so dug into your hear you say SeX WoRkErs;;; I ;;; I. Honestly im so offended. Its so fucking offensive. Like i almost wanna fucking cry. And she aint even white lmao shes indian like maam as a fellow immigrant please stop parroting the western bullshit i beg you. its so god damn fucking offensive and this bullshit is passed off as progressive and right and parroted by professors and taught as a given and preached and taught uncritically and then parroted by students and then. someone posts it online and some idiot reads it tells it to another idiot who tells it to another idiot. And then this insanity affects the whole westenrn "FeMinIsM" movement. And then, not only do I personally have to deal with a bunch of fucking idiots who have the gull to tell ME how the fuck I cant or can speak and how I should fucking feel when they dont got a single damn clue, BUT ALSO. this sort of cultural fucking idiocracy leads to real life impacts. Ala, western european states legalizing prostitution, thus the horrid rise of sex trafficking, child sex trafficking, child pornography, etc, of mainly balkan, roma, refugee, immigrant, poor, etc etc women. Ala, there was this article written by a Romanian prostitute in spain. She was complaining about how because of this sex work narrative now even more men come to prostitutes bc theyve bought this bullshit narrative of the "happy sex worker" so. now, they have to put all this extra fucking emotional effort into pretending like theyre enjoying what these men are doing to them and like they want it and all this shit. Which, let me tell you, its a whole lot easier to just dissociate when you get used to being regularly raped than it is to have to pretend like you fucking want it and enjoy it too. Something along the lines, these men want your soul not just your body, and this much worse...... And how, because of this, they also have to invest more in makeup and shit to look "well" which fuether just sinks them into the whole cycle which is quite hard to get out of. So. So.
As far as Im concerned. All the god forsaken postmodern nonsense that is propagated in western social sciences academica - has real life fucking effects. It has. The things written, the things discussed, the things professors say. Ive said before, that maybe postmodernism has some academic value (though we didnt need french people to be like, yo dude did you know multiple perspectives on life exist? inssne!). But. It doesnt fucking stay in academica. None of this bullshit stays in academica. And apart from this sort of bullshit not even being "feminism" and being inherently detrimental to the unity needed for social movements, inherently complacent, inherently antirevolutionary, inherently fucking REEKING of western individualism and selfishness up the fucking ass,,,,,,,,,it has real life fucking affects.
Westerners whove never fucking been through any of this shit sit in universities coming up with all these fucking theories but who pays the price. Who pays the god damn fucking price? Who? For their thought experiments? For these societal experiemnts? For these bullshit western ideas of freedom and progress and feminism? We do. My people do. We do. God fucking damn it
#Im gonna eat glass#Im not going to stay in academia but if i was. I think theyd kick me out of the anthropology department#before i got my phd#fuck this shit#Someone needs to fucking do something about it. Someone needs to fucking critique it form the inside#which i can actually say i did lmao because i <3 showed up at office hours <3 and uhh#said my peace.#which im sure she wasnt expecting but. im also genuinely glad she listened. i guess#its a big harder to just cancle someone or tell them to shut up#when they tell you frankly tat they were sex trafficked as a child and come from one of the sex trafficking#capitals of the world#like. <3 sorry lol i have more a right to speak then you! lovely! great!#i didnt direct it at her in particular lmao i went a roundabout way of critiquing what i called privileged western bullshit#but im sure she also got that I was biting back against the sex work thing while speaking abt fucking victims of sex trafficking#AND lmaoo i did go on a very short but well put together quip abt postmodernism being inherently individualistic#and detrimental to movements and literally funded by the CIA in class lmao SOmEONE NEEDS TO SAY SOMETHING#just enough to get people looking and curious and wanting answers and QUESTIONING THIS SHIT#i came back to this country after being back home having none of this shit dkdkd#............. how you can even be from india and admit you've seen the horrors of street prostitution and still propagate the sex work shit#in the same breath is beyond me#it really is#and how you can propagate these western narratives of individualistic ChOiCe#while also teaching abt nonwestern concepts which view equality and freedom in nonindivualistic terms#...... maaam...... how is the cognitive dissonance not hitting#...... this was some weeks ago but like. idk thinking back on it its like#again lmao. its so fucking offensive. its........ how fucking deep do you have to be to explicitely speak about sex trafficking victims#stricke by poverty and call them sex workers#.....................#...#like maam. maybe youve been in this country too long. maybe youve been in westenrn academica too long. its time to wake up a bit
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The amazing thing is not that the stomach churns, it's that it doesn't churn more often
#I've seen people say ''hamas is not murdering civilians it's expelling settlers''#i've seen people be rabidly anti-Semitic about people fleeing in airports#newsflash: there's not exactly a robust train system or safe roads#i've seen people— neighbors. neighbors. say that animal control is the best solution for this#i've seen people posting maps of reservoirs in Gaza and @-ing the Israeli government in it#i've seen pictures#i've seen people calling for retaliation on Iran and listing off targets#i've unfollowed countless people I thought I had things in common with because nothing anyone can do is criminal#forget evil for a second; evil's not a historical category#this is; as another put it; a series of massacres#and yes most if not all anticolonial movements went through massacres#and I do believe people who switch sides or withdraw any sympathy and wash their hands of it the moment a massacre are committed#i believe that those people are deeply unserious; no matter how sympathetic i am to them#and I also personally don't believe Hamas is doing this half-cocked/for the fun of it/with no blueprint for the political aftermath#i do think this is not random; senseless violence. it was carefully planned violence. a very organized massacre#and of course the stomach churns to that; as it did to what came before and what came after#i just wonder whether anything else is possible. if there is a path to peace where our stomachs will not churn. one not forged in massacre#it wasn't possible for French Algeria. it wasn't possible for India. it wasn't possible for Haiti. it has happened elsewhere#but can anything else happen here ? within these borders ? with these people ? with all the blood ?#so as I have always done and will likely always do I support any Palestinian challenge to the occupation#but the stomach churns at it. don't believe it doesn't
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it’s just weird to see so many people constantly bring up the fact that edwina is 1/4 white whenever they compare edwina and kate in anyway. there is definitely the underlying implication that edwina is not brown enough or something. and this insistence to label and quantify how brown a person is not only weird, it is very much based on american-centric race discourse.
#bridgerton#pls go back to calling her a gold digger#i want to say anyone who is non-indian should stop calling edwina 1/4 white#but tbh now i think that term needs to be gate-kept from everyone#like oh my god do you even know your own history#.... there are plenty of indians some of whom have probably never even left india who very likely have a white grandfather or great grandfat#... there are plenty of indians some of whom have never been outside of india but have a white grandfather or great grandfather#ofc lots of these were not happy stories#but like none of you would be able to tell who had a white grandparent and who didnt#like im going to be honest none of#none of what happened on the show between kate and edwina was a microaggression like ive seen people on twitter argue#and if you think it was its bc your brain has been rotted by terminally online american race politics
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i think if ur trying to earn merits or fix your karma or whatever you wanna call it your FIRST step would be. to not commit more bad deeds. but what do i know.
#hotel del luna#i actually do not know what its called in korea! merits are from china and i THINK karma is across several different beliefs in se asia#but for sure in several indian religions#...india. im talking about india. dont be weird k.
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Well. Time to head to bed tonight
It's been nice though, creating this place has been a real good exercise in... being myself. because. lmfao. I know how to do things and have been acting like I couldn't possibly know but.... You know
Last thing I did was Something Complex, inverting the hierarchy of creation from the sky down into successively more... fleshy matter down into the place. Lev felt it lmfao
It's fun. It's been.... not just on the tip of my tongue but spoken. It's been a dance of forming mental blueprints and then invoking all that good stuff into them, all Reality and ways of existing, condensing information from Consciousness to Matter, sustaining and coagulating ways of being and reactions to the world. Hard to explain in words, but the dance is of externalising and changing states of that which is conceived inside-outside me, like water becomes ice, the world goes from fluid ideas and blueprints into things that are sustained by their own order and make-up. Lines of logic become the lines the molecules take when freezing.
It's so... Intuitive. I really have done this a thousand times before. It isn't just a matter of knowing the theory, like a potter knows the smoothness and coldness of clay in his sleep I know the various rainbow arrays of substance and... I mean. There's a reason I walked into applied maths class and saw the diagrams of all the forces acting on each other and felt like I'd found something that understood me
I'm still beginning! I'm Just A Baby. It's getting back into creation after so long, the first time this life! I'm sure that there's plenty to critique, in fact I can see in local time that there's still a lot to do with Ananyavarda but... To divert the order of the sky in one movement and feel the world suddenly condense with gravity as if now it wasn't just of a floating realm but of a planet... Uh. While I was recovering from being sliced open and bled to feed the field of daisies and stabbed with swords to feed the place and also create a mountain lmfao I'm still chilling here in bed in the astral. we vibin.
Anyway. I'm like. I can tell the way Lev's looking at me has changed completely. He knew I was going to be a thing he just didn't know what I'd feel like lmfao. That's how I'll put it.
#Not to pseudo doxx my Possible Past Self but I was almost born with the name India Weavers lmfao and that's. Yeah#India was definitely a reference to Indra but I don't think the person who wanted to give me the name knew about indra. Maybe he did.#But anyway. That's sort of just............... That was certainly a clear vision of me. It's nice to be weaving again#The fate spider and the sky itself. The tapestry is being woven and. I. Am. Chewing.#Can't wait til this place is anchored and open to what comes through but... These Raindrops as I'll call them for now bc yay rain#These Raindrops around the main building are for me. mostly. And will stay that way. Eventually I'll push the veil around them and#uh. oousg. I'm tired.#That's the other thing though. I'm never really tired. I have. endless. energy to pull from. I am the sun itself not in madness but in...#I am the sun. I feel tired for like two seconds before I go ''oh wait I'm not human and small I have so much energy and - ohhhhhh how sweet#the liquid vision of the deep space body begins to crest and I see the Leviathan in organic un-vision form. What a beautiful creature#astral diary //#ramblings //#ANVD: Creation //#This place is Ardhanarishvara dancing in two. Shiva begins to know himself reflected in the eyes of Shakti
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everyday i see clueless westerners (especially white people) peddle thinly veiled hindutva propaganda which they wouldn't know cause they know absolutely nothing about what goes on in india. so here are some signs that that the person you're talking to is a hindu nationalist:
they either do not acknowledge casteism or claim that caste is a western construct. my personal favourite however is dismissing anyone bringing up caste discrimination by saying that the indian constitution outlaws untouchability. they may also bring up the fact that the prime minister belongs to an other backwards class (obc) so clearly india has moved on from caste and hindutva isn't only for the upper castes. they possess a shallow understanding of caste
harping on about "islamic colonisation" : no, the mughals did not colonise india. when you point this out, they will immediately assume that you think muslim invaders were innocent beings who did nothing wrong, which is very much not what anyone is claiming here
while we're on the topic of "islamic colonisation" they will also refer to the demolishing of muslim sites of heritage and worship and then building hindu temples over them as "decolonisation" (cough cough ram mandir) the hindu right also goes around pretending that they're indigenous to india. this is false
along a similar vein, they will dismiss islamophobia by bringing up instances of hindu oppression in countries like pakistan and bangladesh. it is true that hindus are persecuted in these two countries, however they are used to fuel their oppression complex, that their upper caste hindu self is under attack in india of all places (think a white christian in the united states). you should be in solidarity with minorities everywhere. it is neither transactional or conditional (note: they will never bring up sri lanka. persecution of hindus exists only when the oppressors are muslim)
claiming that hindu nationalism and hindutva are not the same because hindutva means "hindu-ness". that is only the literal translation of the term. like it or not, they're the same thing
they support the indian military occupation of kashmir. they will call it an integral part of kashmir, one reason which will be "hinduism is indigenous to kashmir." they will also bring up the last maharaja of kashmir signing the instrument of accession as further proof, as if the consent of the people was taken
they're zionists. do i even need to explain this. hindutva is just zionism for hindus
they refer to buddhism and jainism (sikhism too sometimes) as branches of hinduism rather than separate, distinct religions
they condemn any resistance to the indian govt as a burden or terrorism (like calling the farmers who are currently protesting a hindrance or terrorists. funny how sikhs are the same as hindus when they support hindu causes but terrorists when they resist oppression...)
they call you a pseudo liberal or a fake leftist. i'm telling you, they don't know jackshit. they can't even tell the difference between a liberal and a leftist and call US unread lmao. bonus points if they call you a liberandu or a sickular 💀
they call india "bharat" when they talk in english. there are in fact multiple indian languages that call india bharat or bharatam, but if they say bharat while talking in english, that is absolutely a hindu nationalist no questions asked
please do your due diligence. read up on hindutva. hindu nationalists have already started making gains in the united states, thanks to rich upper caste nris. do not fall for propaganda
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