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4aloysius-porteu · 3 years

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i really wish i hated you || tsukishima kei

masterlist | 1 | chapter 2 | 3

pairing: tsukishima kei x f! reader

sypnosis: It was an accident that (Y/N) met a certain tall, blonde male; a memory she isn't fond of remembering, but it is where it all started. And ever since, she magically makes her to his path. The image of the bespectacled man dwelled in her mind more than she thought. Tsukishima pushed away his softer emotions and denied their existence, or at least that's what he told himself. But then, he couldn't believe that this girl he labeled as a clumsy, unlucky creature who smashed his glasses is slowly bringing these strange emotions back to him. She might be irritating and dumb sometimes, but he couldn't get himself to completely hate her. Either that destiny was stupid, or he was blessed or cursed.

genre: fanfiction, fluff

wc: 1881

(Y/N) stopped her tracks upon hearing his voice and turned around to confirm, but it was true, much to her dismay. He held his black-rimmed glasses with its left lens and frame cracked. The girl's mind went blank. She hesitantly glanced at him a few times, hoping that he would forgive her or let the incident smoothly slide.

He hissed, "Don't think you can get away with this, miss."

She sighed in defeat. The kids approached her with worried looks. She patted her heads, accepting their sympathy. "Well, playtime's over."

"But we haven't finished the game!"

"Do you still want to play?"

"Yes!"

"Next time, when you see me again at the park. Onee-chan has to go now."

She bade goodbye to the children and walked towards the guy she hit with his friend. She looked at his broken glasses again and couldn't help but to let out an exhale with anxiety. This is the result of my stupidity...

"W-What do you want me to do?" (Y/N) slurred.

" I don't know, maybe you should fix it right here and right now." The blonde guy crossed his arms and frowned.

Why don't you just get to the point?

"Replace it."

Of course, she will have to replace it. What a question to ask. She mentally rolled her eyes.

"I'll check there out if there's an optical store, I guess you will have to keep an eye on me so that I won't escape?" She pointed to the nearby mall, walking distance from the park.

"What else? Nobody trusts a stranger."

They reached the town's mall and saw an open optical store, but (Y/N) remembered her wallet. She wasn't sure if there's enough money for her to buy glasses.

"On the second thought, can I buy the glasses tomorrow? I don't think I have enough money."

"No." He instantly replied.

"Tsukki," His green-haired companion interrupted, "Maybe we can give her a chance? What if she's telling the truth?"

"I need my glasses in my everyday life, and if she doesn't have the money, I'll be happy to spare her some, but she'll have no choice to be in my debt."

How merciless. It's not like (Y/N) could blame him, but if the same thing happened to her, she would treat them nicely. She looked around the store to find a pair of glasses exactly like his, as he demanded, with his friend helping her for 30 minutes. After she gets the correct measurements and eye grade, she emptied her wallet to pay for the damn thing,

"Here." She held out the new glasses in the case. "Take care of them, it costed my LAST savings."

He took them and wore them immediately, "I am taking care of my glasses, it's just someone 'accidentally' kicked a ball on my way and knocked them off. Thank you for the horrible experience."

He excused himself and walked away. His friend stayed to talk to her.

"I'm sorry for the way he acted, he's like this most of the times. Please understand," He bowed, shyness evident in his voice.

"It's okay, it was completely my fault, so I don't mind."

"It was an accident, though. Thank you for your generosity." He soon followed the blondie that headed first.

"That was mandatory, though." (Y/N) lightly chuckled to herself.

She got out of the mall to take in the fresh air, but her soul almost left her body when a bolt of lightning strikes a tree near her, setting it on fire.

"Oh, my fucking- Did the sky just attempted to finish me?!" She said, calming herself down and looking up. The clouds were much darker than earlier.

As the townspeople bombed the burning tree with water, she ran to her apartment before it rains. There, she dropped her things on the couch and flopped to her bed, thinking what happened on this day because of her own stupidity. She groaned when she held her now empty wallet.

"Argh! Why am I so unlucky?!"She threw her wallet in frustration.

"That tall, blonde, asshole! He didn't need to embarrass me in front of people! I didn't mean it! He could've waited for tomorrow for me to replace his glasses! He's so unforgiving!" She complained, hating the thought of the said guy.

She sighed, cringe, anger, and embarrassment filling her head as she hugged her pillow.

"May karma comes to him sometime," was her last words before drifting off to a nap.

A few days passed, she went out of the house again to buy food supplies in a convenience store. It was almost nighttime. The chilly wind blew to her face and the sweet scent wafted in the store. She picked up some junk food and meat first before stopping by the confectioneries section. While choosing what shortcake flavor to pick, she bumped into something that almost made her fall to the floor, if she hadn't retained her balance.

"Oof, I'm sorry..."

Or rather, it was a person she bumped into.

She looked up and recognized the face of the man. It was the guy she's kind of mad at, but this time, he didn't have his nice friend with him.

(Y/N) took a step back, "You!"

The male looked back at her, tilting his head, observing the girl. He spoke with a monotonous expression, "Do I know you?"

Her eye twitched in irritation, "He doesn't remember me?!"

"I was the girl in the playground three days ago! I... I replaced your glasses!" She said, hesitating on the next sentence.

"Oh." His eyebrows raised, "Did the midget learned her lesson not to play a sport she's bad at?" He mocked.

"I'm not even a soccer player to begin with! What are you doing here?"

"What? Am I not allowed to buy food in a convenience store like a normal person?"

"I've been buying stuff here and I've never seen a similar face I've met twice in a week or month. That's sus."

"Maybe you are following me."

"What do I gain by following a huge, mean person like you?" (Y/N) retorted.

"Perhaps you want to get back at me after what happened days ago even if it's your fault. I don't know. Ask yourself." He took his eyes off her to choose among the sweet desserts.

She paused, analyzing his comment, "Well, you aren't completely wrong..."

"So, I am being followed? What a stalker."

"Of course not! What you said might be possible, but it's not the case right now!"

Both of them have set their eyes on an item and surprisingly the same one. A strawberry shortcake in the middle of the section. Their hands both grabbed the object before staring at each other in annoyance.

"Let go." They chorused.

"I chose it first." Said (Y/N).

"I do not see your name in it. You let go." He replied.

"How about no?"

They glared at each other for a few minutes before (Y/N)'s brows creased deeper in the middle, knowing well that this guy won't back down. "Whatever, you take it. I don't care anymore."

"Wow, thanks." He subtly rolled his eyes then walked away.

It was very awkward in the cashier where she had to wait behind him. Damn, he's so tall. Does he play any sport? Is he human? Or probably just a walking, mean tree?

What happened in the park flashed in (Y N)'s mind again. The impact of the ball might have been so painful to him since he wears glasses, where it cracked. What if the shards got into his eyes? Her wallet isn't ready for more payments, but that isn't the issue right now. She was worried about his well being. Both of them got out of the convenience store and she called the blonde male before he could get away again.

"Uhh, hey!"

He looked over his shoulder a little, "What?"

"Are your eyes okay? I mean, your glasses cracked... shards could've got inside your eyes..."

"Yes, they're fine, fortunately."

(Y/N) let out a sigh of relief. "That's... good to hear."

"But if something happened to my eyes, I will not hesitate to find you and make you pay for an eye surgery."

"You're exaggerating."

"It's not impossible. Now, go home. Elementary school students shouldn't go past the curfew."

She frowned. If only he wasn't a stranger, she would've kicked his ass to hell.

"Oh, gladly. I wouldn't want to stay near a bootleg Eiffel Tower any longer. Have a good day for you."

The blonde male left without any more words. (Y/N) sighed again in mental exhaustion, having to finish a lot of things this night. She was walking straight to her home while thinking of ideas to put in her current project when she realized that he was still walking ahead in front of her.

Where is he going?

She made her footsteps lighter, not wanting him to think that she was following him. She was thinking where does this guy live or why is he walking the same route as she does. It's not wrong to know where does this asshole stay, right? This continued for a couple of minutes before he turned around.

"Will you stop following me?"

Her eyes widened, not expecting him to know that she was behind him, "Excuse me? I'm just walking to my place?"

"Really?" He narrowed his eyes in suspicion.

(Y/N) looked around to find a way to escape. There, she saw her house that she almost missed because her mind was occupied, "Oh, look. It's my house. I gotta go!"

She waved goodbye to the blonde stranger, ran to her apartment, and slammed the door, dying from the awkwardness. She proceeded to the kitchen to drop the food supplies and to cook for herself as well. The salt in the cupboard reminded her of the rude, four eyes that she just met again minutes ago. That's when she realized, she kept calling him either insults or his evident physical features when he probably has a name. She could've asked for his name earlier, but shrugged the idea off, thinking that he will never give her his name.

The common thing to do after graduating junior high is to find a decent high school. (Y/N) is scheduled to have her entrance exams next week, so she has to spend time reviewing her notes these days. She opted to go to the prefectural library the next day to get further references as she isn't satisfied with the books she has. It was Wednesday, thus it was full of people who are also preparing for their entrance exams. With her stature, it'll be easy to pass in this crowd of people but she will have to ask for help because she can't reach the books at the top of the shelves.

After wandering around the crowded library, she found an unoccupied table to quietly study. She made her way to it, carrying the heavy books she needed that was luckily located at the bottom shelves. As she set the books on the left side of the table, someone did the same on the opposite side. She looked up to see who the stranger is, only to find out that the person isn't a stranger to her anymore.

"Oh, the midget stalker is here."

#haikyuu!!#tsukishima kei #haikyuu tsukishima #haikyuu fanfiction #haikyuu angst #haikyuu imagines #haikyuu fluff #kei tsukishima #tsukishima x reader #tsukishima kei x reader #haikyuu headcannons #haikyuu x reader #tsukishima headcanons #tsukishima imagine #tsukishima scenarios #tsukki

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chromium7sky · 4 years

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The Devil wears Armani| Chapter 6

Raven stop munching after he said that. Her mind plays the memory back when she was in university.

*-*-*-*-*

It was final project class and she almost use up all her allowance to buy supplies for her and Damian's fashion runeay project.

Raven sitting at the student square alone at the table concentrate on designing a clothes inspired by Eastern element. Her mind start to get fuzzy and she felt sour in her mouth. It's been 2 days she skip her meal and barely have a real one.

She sighed then stare at the drawing hoping the theme Kintsugi, which she and Damian were thinking, might charm the greastest designer from Japan, Mr. William Aki.

Kintsugi is one of the technique to recover the broken things by filling the cracks with gold dust and resin thus makes them look more valuable and eye catching. Looking from philosophical view, it means embrace the imperfection.

She slowly regulate her breath then from her water bottle, hoping it could fill up her stomach, but only to make it worse. She was thinking of buying some cheap bread after she discuss with Damian about the following project.

As she looking through her secret sketch book to keep her mind off from hunger, she heard someone calling her.

"Raven?"

She jolted and found Damian now sitting in front of her. Quickly she closed the book and put it in her bag. "I thought you didn't make it." She smiled as she cover her nervousness and almost got busted by her muse.

"I was stopping by the bakery to get some pastries for breakfast." Damian open his bag. "I thought you might want one." He put several of sweet and savoury buns on the table.

"What do mean one? I see plenty." Raven try to control her mouth from drooling over.

"I was kidding. Here, have some of it." He pushed the packets towards her.

"B-but you don't have too. I..." Then her stomach grumbling which makes both of them silent for a while.

Raven must be embarrassed with the noise. Truly she doesn't want a burden to any people and she wanted to prove that she can be indipendent person.

Damian on the otherhand raised his eyebrow as he heard the noise. "You were hungry." He comment it, bluntly which makes Raven pressed her lips into a thin line.

She tried to think of something but another growl from her stomach makes her hard to form excuses in her head. "I am hungry." She sighed and admit in defeat.

"Eat the bread, ROTH." His voice demanding or was it she heard it wrong?

Still clueless about what's going on she just "Huh?" to Damian's serious face.

His tongues clicked as he irritates with her attitude, he grab a pack of sandwich, open it and dive it to her mouth.

Raven were shocked because it happen so fast and she was unprepared. Now, there's sandwich in her mouth.

Raven take her time to chew and swallowed the bread then she looked at cross armed Damian. "Why are you being nice to me?"

"Judging from your selflessness and how you look right now, I was trying to help. " Damian stared at her. " You are starving." He sighed.

"Ah..." She rubbed the back of her neck. " Sorry If I'm going overboard. I was kind of wanted to get this project done and perhaps..make Mr William to notice our product outcome."

"We are on the right track." Damian sighed. " There's nothing you need to worry about."

"But to get the gold-"

"You will get enough supplies for the gold dust and gold thread ." Damian look up his phone and start to press the button. "It has been settled." He put his phone inside his pocket.

" Look, both of us are only students with limited allowance, Rook. I mean, you've already spend on that high quality black cloth material." Raven reminding him about the situation.

"Well, we need to cut certain budget to make this final product match with the theme, also, looks exclusive." Damian spit out his knowledge about money management strategies.

"Oh?"

"Like models, I think its better to be both of us."

"Me? M-model? Are kidding me?" Raven in denial.

"I CAN'T see why are you disagree with me." Damian's eyes tracing her from up and down then back to her face.

"What do you mean by that?" Raven narrow her eyes as she bite the sandwich.

He sighed." We could just wear the design ourselves so that we could minimize our budget in finding people to become our model."

"We actually could find volunteer..."

"In this almost one month deadline? No." His eyebrow furrowed. He crossed his arm on the table then stared at her.

Raven, who has finish her sandwich, closed her eyes, raising both of her handsslightly to pacify the situation. " Fine.... Both us become model then. We need to get measurement accurately or else the dress and suit won't be fitting perfectly." She sighed.

Damian smirked as he nodded.

*-*-*-*-*-*

Raven jolted as she heard her name being called. "Uh...what?"

"I said..." Damian put down his coffee then lean towards her. " When the dress is complete, would you prefer to be send to you or come to my studio to try it out?"

Raven's brain still fuzzy to understand the question. "Somewhere between that." Which made Damian confused.

"So, you're going to my studio then?" As he drink his coffee.

"Wait, what?" Raven as if snapped out from from daydream.

"Going to my studio? I thought it would much easier as we could go to Wayne's Gala by there."

"Wait." Raven raised her hand. "You have a studio?"

"And why shouldn't I?" Damian arched his eyebrow.

"I thought after graduate, you totally took over your father business." She crossed her arm.

"Doesn't mean I can't DO what I like." His voice grew deeper.

Raven pretend she didn't hear that rise from her chair as she put the mug into the sink near the kitchen bar.

"Alright, time to do measurement." She turn around and almost collide with Damian who were behind her. She jolted as he hold her arm. "Uhh.."

"Careful where you're spinning, Roth." He smiled.

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funtimebunnyblog · 4 years

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Diamante d’Italia: Chapter 2

(Chapter 2: Strangers like me, part 1)

Abbacchio wasn't quite sure why he let this kid, this almost complete stranger, tag along with him to Lunch.

Hell, he wasn't quite sure why he didn't even snap at him too harshly for prodding him about Gangs and other shit you were supposed to keep your lips closed about.

He thought back to all the times the dark haired man had prevented him from (rightfully) throttling one of the others (he should just outright say 'Narancia' at this point) and encouraging him to take a "gentler" approach and to "put his anger to something positive".

'Maybe all that time around Bruno is making me soft...' he thought to himself as a deep frown pulled on his face.

The man was indeed the very definition of a pushover who just happened to be wearing expensive Mafioso clothing after all.

Every few minutes, he found himself glancing back over his shoulder to ensure Josuke was still with him.

The Highschooler seemed distracted with every single sight there was to see around him which caused him to lag behind for the briefest of seconds to stare in awe at things Abbacchio didn't seem to find too special.

Josuke stopped completely at one point to watch a street performer squeezing away at his accordion, rich music tugging at the teenagers ears and luring him to stay for a while like a siren in open Seas.

Abbacchio was so very tempted to tell him to get his ass in gear but stopped himself upon seeing that bright starry gleam again in the others eyes as he watched the musician in awe.

Eventually however, they arrived.

Maybe he shouldn't be in such a hurry...

He simply settled for grumbling to himself and standing to watch alongside the punk until he'd had his fill of the performance.

"Libbeccio" was not only a place their Gang frequented, it was an inviting Italian ristorante and Bucciarati's most favorite establishment in the entirety of Naples.

"This is it." He said, looking to Josuke.

"Do they have French Vanilla Coffee?" He asked, giving Abbacchio a very doe-like look.

The teenager was looking the building up and down. One thing he found he liked around here already was the overall architecture of Italy, even on simple buildings like this.

Everything just looked so cozy and yet so fancy at the same time somehow. This little building looked more inviting than anything he'd been to back home in Morioh.

The older man started up the steps and opened the door, heavenly food smells of all kinds wafted out into the street and teased at Josukes nose, even from where he stood out on the sidewalk.

The white-haired man let out a noise that was sounded like the briefest half-chuckle he'd ever heard.

"They got every flavor of Coffee and Tea you've ever heard of."

He just hoped Abbacchio couldn't hear the roar of his stomach over the feint chatter of people.

Gripping his leather bag tighter, he jogged to keep up with his companion once he realized he was standing outside and drooling like a hungry stray dog, following him inside.

The walls were painted a warm yellow that felt like sunshine.

Artwork that looked more expensive than this trip itself along with various plants (he was even more delighted to find they were real, not just cheep plastic) hung in every corner and on every wall.

The floors were dark wood, so very polished and pristine Josuke wondered if they could get away with serving food on the floor if they ran out of plates.

Good grief, how on earth did he manage to pick up another Narancia? And off the streets no less.

"This is so nice, Abbacchio!" He beamed, forcing himself to keep his voice down as he suddenly remembered he was in a restaurant after all.

He broke off into an excited babble, "Are all places here this nice? Where should we sit? You mentioned they have cake earlier. Do we order here?"

He almost facepalmed at the very thought of it.

He supposed however that maybe he'd be excited too if traveling to a foreign country, but that didn't stop him from rolling his eyes through the others excitable narrative.

Abbacchio held up a hand, "Don't worry about it." He said simply. Anything he ordered here the bill was immediately footed to Bucciarati as the man arranged with the business long before-hand.

Josuke dug into his coat, opening his wallet and sifting around inside, already doing some head math as he flipped through his money.

"What are you going to get? I can pay for you--"

To the teens surprise, Abbacchio didn't even wait to be seen to by a waiter. He stood there, blinking stupidly as the man just walked through the restaurant, past tables of people talking and dining, all the way to the back to what seemed like a secluded spot for private parties.

Things like food and drink cost nothing but chump change anyways in the eyes of a Mafioso.

Besides, this kid couldn't possibly eat half as much as Narancia and Mista knawed through during the Gangs mealtimes.

Josuke fidgeted awkwardly, feeling much like he had back in that ally when Abbacchio first made motion to leave, before looking around quickly and trailing behind.

The staff members never questioned those who were close to Bucciarati (he was more like Family to the restaurant rather than just a regular) and they knew Leone quite well at this point, as he had come alone with the man on several occasions apart from their group outings.

So the place just let the gang seat themselves in the "reserved" area whenever they saw fit to come in.

By the time he reached the more private room, out of the view of other patrons, his companion was already seated at a large round table.

"Uhh... am I... allowed back here?" He questioned, peering over his shoulder as if a member of the restaurant staff would grab him like an offending drunk and toss him out the door any second now. "I mean, I understand if you are but... I'm just a tourist..."

"Sooo..." he began, surveying his surroundings. "You said you come here often?"

A smirk pulled at the older mans coloured lips as he leaned back in his chair casually, "You're with me, aren't you?"

A nod, in which he returned in motion to another chair somewhat across from him, a gesture for him to sit down. Josuke complied, ensuring he set his suitcase down where he could see it on the chair directly next to him.

Leone nodded. It was much nicer coming here however when it was just him and another person (that most often Bruno), that way he wouldn't have to blare music in his headphones to block out the screaming war happening between Fugo and Narancia, along with Mistas constant whining.

By now Josuke was observing his new companion on a deeper level. It was weird to admit, but he felt a little drawn to the man. There was just something there that he hadn't noticed before (apart from the implications he was in the Mafia of course).

"Yeah, practically every day. We do.... business here."

It was always pleasant to discuss matters back here anyways, the atmosphere was lovely, the chatter of voices not so very loud and always away from prying eyes.

It was... familiar? Something at least resembling familiarity in his opinion. It was strange but it sort of reminded him of his relationship with his best friend Okuyasu back home in Japan...

"Business, huh?" He gave the Goth a small teasing smile, still testing the waters with him. "You're a real mysterious guy, Abbacchio..."

"Trust me, you don't know the half of it..." he replied, his tone holding just a pinch of the playfulness Josuke had questioned him with.

He huffed at that, another smirk appearing on his face. If only this punk knew just how deep those words could run...

Granted, Abbacchio knew he wasn't exactly considered a "powerful" stand user, but Moody Blues did have its usefulness.

At long last, a waiter appeared and approached Abbacchio as easily as someone would an aquaintence, he didn't even offer the man a menu.

Josukes head spun as Leone switched over to Italian when speaking to him, watching blankly as Abbacchio pointed between them as he spoke.

Now he knew how all those tourists in Japan felt.

He listened to him, absolutely clueless but interested all the same.

The strange words seemed to just roll easily off the others tongue and he found himself mouthing out certain words that stuck out to him, struggling to even get the feel of it right.

'Molto bene, signore Koichi!' He remembered the man praising, making Koichis face absolutely light up.

He had once listened to Tonio and Koichi talking back and forth in the language back home. Koichi was taking a language course of choice that term and decided to try his hand at it, once he learned a few basics, with the only Italian in town.

Tonio was very patient with his friend and only corrected him if he asked, his smile so warm it practically radiated off the mans face at the shorter boys efforts.

He nodded, "Yeah, strawberry's fine." He replied, tilting his head curiously. "What'd you get?"

"I hope strawberry's ok with you." Abbacchios gruff voice pulled him out of his thoughts and he realized the waiter had left.

He should probably learn a proper 'thank you' sometime soon if he was going to be frequently eating in restaurants like this. His Mom made sure he was raised with manners so he may as well put them to use...

Abbacchio would never admit this aloud to him, but he was starting to feel more at ease around Josuke. Despite being near strangers, he felt like he had known him for a long time.

"Tea for me. I ordered that coffee you wanted too." He hummed, leaning back in his chair again.

It was a little late for lunch now, he supposed this would be an early snack for them both as they talked and then he'd order them some proper dinner later on. "There's cake for the both of us, that's the strawberry part."

It was like how he felt about Bruno after just meeting him on that rainy night on the streetcorner some time ago.

This however was only convincing him more that there was more to this kid than met the eye. He was practically convinced he was a stand-user, or maybe one that had yet to be awakened, but he had no idea how to act on it.

How does one casually ask another if they have the ability to manifest their soul into a spirit at will to do anything from kick the shit out of someone to anything else under the sun?

"Ah, awesome!" The highschooler beamed enthusiastically, trying to keep the conversation rolling as he felt Abbacchio staring into him again. "Is the cake good?"

That familiarity was there once more and it was only getting stronger. It was like another prescence entirely...

'Could he be like me?' A voice questioned from the furthest corner of his mind.

And this meant Josuke was about to take a BIG risk.

If Okuyasu had taught him one important thing in the time he'd known him (not to mention all the dumb shit they'd done together), it was to never be afraid to take a risk.

You couldn't win the lottery without buying a ticket after all...

The hairs on Josukes neck stood up as he felt Crazy Diamond materialize itself behind him. He waited with baited breath, keeping his expression as cool and composed as possible.

He kept his eyes on Abbacchio, whose gaze had trailed down to his nails, watching the man purse his violet lips as he tried to pinch off a stubborn hangnail as he spoke.

He was way overdue for a manicure. Maybe he could go get one with Bruno sometime when they both got the chance. Maybe he could even be persuaded to let Bruno pick the colours to go on his nails...

He had to be calm in order for this to work.

'If he can see Crazy Diamond reeling their fist, he'll no doubt react and try to catch it.' He thought, feeling a phantom pull in his right arm as his brightly coloured strand cocked its fist. 'If he doesn't react, I'll just play it cool.'

"It's the best damn cake in town." Abbacchio answered, flicking away the offending hangnail at last, his eyes turning back to the teenager across from him. "At least that's what--"

He froze suddenly, the words dying on his tongue, as his duel-coloured eyes widened in surprise then narrowed quickly.

So he was right. This brat was a stand-user.

Just what did he think he was doing anyways? Was he trying to pull a fast one on him? In a restaurant of all places?

Crazy Diamond released its fist and Abbacchio jumped up from his seat, towering over Josuke.

"Moody Blues!" He said sharply, now fully radiating with a bright green aura.

Josuke could only stare in stunned silence as there came the prolonged beep of a disconnected telephone, a tall mauve androgynous figure appearing by Abbacchios side in an instant.

And for one second, Josuke was afraid he wouldn't be around to try that cake after all...

[To be continued...》

#Diamante d’Italia #josuke higashitaka

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myheartbeatskids · 4 years

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Tolerance

Popeye: Sabrina do i have to have no hate towards Jeremiah?

Me: you don't have to have any feelings towards him

Popeye: is that how you handle it?

Me: that's what i do. I dont feel anything until they piss me off. Some times they happen to please me but i have to remind them i don't like them so its just a momentary

Chris mcgha: like a mirage?

Me: except its real... Like how you can see the heat waves bending in the light on a hot and humid day.. That's as scientifically close as you can get to a mirage... The rest is heat exhaustion and imagination or delusions. So no.

Abu laughs: stupid fuck

Me: their delusions seem to be permanent. And my tolerance of them is real.

Matt: so what Popeye is saying or asking is do you hate Jeremiah 24/7?

Me: no because i dont see him 24/7 and its unhealthy to be so angry and not have an outlet to rage at... So no. I'm not pleased with him the rest of the time

Matt: so she just puts it into neutral until he lays his stupid body in the road and she decides to step on the brake or run him over but all the time shes ready to pop it in drive and burn out on his flesh anytime he pisses her off.

Me: exactly. Like being in a crowded room if hes way the fuck over there Not making me notice hes acknowledging i exist or being loud or trying to get attention from me then fine. But if he's 5 feet from me or being loud about something that I'm not interested in or all about my panties then im gonna kick his ass.

MarjorMarie: like with Declan when he was saying he was worried you would throw him under the bus... Or someone would and it just happened to be you but that was funny!! "I like people like Declan -- The No-Man"

Me: well he didn't seem to be trying to impress any one and i know that he actually does care about Declan and Declan's safety.

MajorMarie: I wouldn't say caaaaare..

Me: more yours than mine

Jeremiah: hey! I care a bunch about you both

Me: not my mental safety.

MajorMarie: or emotional! That's all I'm saying!

Jeremiah sighs: why do you call me Abraham Lincoln?

Me: you look like him

Jeremiah: i do not!

Me: see? That's your attention seeking. Get in an argument for No reason other than hiding flattery then when i actually want to kill you or have nothing to do with you because you annoy the life out of me

Jeremiah: i do not

Me: im absolutely stupid and Don't know my own emotions. You explained just now. Then you want to cuddle and have make up stupid sex.

Jeremiah: sooo does it work?

Me: if i like cuddling with a corpse. Do you get it?

Jeremiah: well im not sorrrrry

Matt: you can go now Jeremiah

Me: yeah you can. Im already done.

Matt: that's how I get. If I can't count to 10 and she doesn't blink then There's a problem and someone is gonna die. I can blink just fine but her... Uhh no... And her face feels like stone. I tell you, she's medusa. That's how i know shes in neutral. But!! When she's about to pop it in park and start ass beating with no weapons, that's when I know

Me: i don't turn on the turn signals... There's no blinkers, im on the brake but i regret it. And so I'm gonna share that regret.

Chris mcgha: and you're gonna hold up traffic

Me: well... Probably shouldn't get behind me.

Popeye: i think i get it. So she stays mad but its dormant like a volcano, like when she used to know me, when we all lived together.

Me: yup, and the release is fantastic, see Jeremiah, that's why i dont need sex with you, being a volcano feels fantastic

Popeye laughs: thats what i used to tell him!!! Like 1991!! Man, that's old! So you're really not mad tho?

Me: see you tolerate him as your adopted child. I don't tolerate him as a human or anything. Except there's nothing i know i csn do so i have to tolerate his existence, except when hes in my personal space.

Alan: so how you do Your moms.

Me: yeah there really is no difference. Okay so take Julia. Cause like Jeremiah she can be awesome

Popeye: ok!

Me: so when shes good then im fine. But I still am not all chummy with her I was... But now she pissed me off and reminded me of some really horrendous shit she did to me and still does. So i tolerate her now

Popeye: what is the difference?

Me: when i think about her i lock my jaw.. Whixh Matt calls medusa. Like teeth grinding which i don't do because i got jaw problems...so i actually put my tounge on the roof of my mouth but other people grind their teeth.

Matt: and she glares

Me: when i focus on her... But then i remember other people are around so then i can ignore her that's why i like noise... So its like a busy house or small house party. Like Christmas dinner. So usually its the TV on the tablet which is Right next to me so envision a house party and different conversation or just a loud dinner even so i would turn to the closest person to me to have a conversation. The TV. So if they're annoying me past my focus on the TV hen I have to stop and kill them.... Now some times people come out of the TV but they should enhance and not subtract from the TV. Cause I can follow along but sometimes I miss something So different programs will add different things. So like NHRA if someone further explains themselves like makes louder what they said... But like other programs I judge peoples personalities. And other programs try to help with my amnesia So they try to clarify what they are saying Like "no hes not the bad guy .... Or no the story isn't the way it seems but the beginning is but the ending is made up" and some stay in the TV. Some are a mix. Mostly only the NHRA makes me want to kill them. Because I don't get information. I don't learn who a person is beyond a screen... I don't get shit but static or crap like what's she doing?? I'm watching the Goddam tv are you fucking kidding me??! Im like im fucking naked and masturbating while tying my shoes shut the fucking door!! And no don't ask why there's a pair of seeing glasses in the peanut butter jar! Go! And by then half the dam program is over and i have to decide to rewind or decide ots a dam waste of,time to,even try to,watch the NHRA And usually it's the latter. Oh thebest of the worst is people screaming "what are you doing to me?!?!" Like really? Are you fucking kidding. Im in my bed trying to watch you on TV. Never fucking mind moron but then is it fair to turn it off halfway cause some psycho thinks I'm their mechanic?

Matt: don't watch the TV

Me: and so Popeye. I know Its difficult But with my mom Julia im fine until i see her little slip.. Im sure you know Jeremiah's little twerks... With her I'm all don't even start your shit, and im not affectionate towards her. I'm all 5 feet over there and Don't be all i love you and shit because I dont think you understand the whole concept. Like i know she does but at the same time all that trust i had in her is gone. Its broke. Its a big sand storm blown all over kingdom come. I dont have it. So it's all medusa. I hear her. I hear her good parts. But i don't allow them to affect me. Its just like slime flying and hitting a marble slab wall. It just slides down. Im still 5 feet over there and dont tell me you love me. Don't have emotions in your voice dont expect me to respond,to you. I don't blink because I don't want to miss anything important. Behind this thick thick marble stone is a very soft and fragile heart. And one day maybe she can see it again but not today. And i dont have to tell her. She just needs to understand it (the wall, my hate, my tolerance, me, herself) and when she doesn't then i tell God to take his little bitch and do something with it. Cause I ain't gonna raise her. I raised myself. And her other son. And i did a dam good job. And i had help from God. So God can take his little bitch and fix her up.

Popeye: yeah that does help!

Me: so you did do a lot of work on Jeremiah but

Popeye: oh! The serenity prayer! Thank you! Now i got it!

Me: exactly! Good job Popeye!

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