FRUITCAKE
— a new year’s addition to southpaw 🎆
——
The sparkler in Sawyer's hand burns out with a lackluster fizzle, just like the end of another year. Staring at the Orlando skyline, everyone, including the twinkling stars above, is out celebrating tonight. Free spirits roam the streets across the centerpiece lake with liquor-infused veins and festive accessories decorating their faces. Straight ahead, each apartment complex window is lit with strobe lights in various colors and a mixture of music booming in each square.
From where Sawyer stands on an unfamiliar balcony, she is just a spectator on the sidelines. She isn't that much of a social butterfly. Parties of any kind are where her fragile wings curl inward, shy and shielding her from a potentially awkward state of affairs. Dressing up is the only reason she agreed to attend the New Year's Eve celebration at some high school acquaintance's studio apartment. Harry, too, she supposes. He's her date tonight. However, mingling comes much easier to him, so he's probably inside having more fun than she is.
His wrist has just about healed, thanks to the time he's been dedicating to physical therapy. Sawyer has been by his side every day, taking care of him and loving the new way they can be around each other since that stormy night outside 7/11 four months ago. It's been challenging keeping up with his bustling life as a professional baseball player and trying to balance her job with how often he travels, but it all proves to be worth it when she feels giddiness course through her veins whenever she's near him.
Harry is the sole reason why Sawyer looks forward to waking up in the morning. The rays of light that shimmer through her bedroom curtains are nothing compared to when she sees the smile on his face, topped with two dimples that make a home for the sun. A sleepy smile when he picks her up and drives her to work bright and early, always with two McDonald's hash browns and a large orange juice to share in his cup holder. A childlike smile when he holds her hand while strolling through the city, swinging their arms as he points at different houses he would like to live in. Her favorite is a radiant smile when she visits him at practice, and he spots her sitting in the scout seats. He always jogs over to her in his dirt-stained uniform and leans past the barrier to kiss her hello, leaving her with a lingering taste of Bazooka bubblegum. She really likes it when he kisses her.
To put it in celestially simple terms, she's over the moon in love with her sunray.
As the party inside rages on, Sawyer sighs between her chattering teeth. Orlando gets nippy at night, and all she wants to do is fall asleep under a nice, warm blanket. Or against Harry's chest. It's hard as a rock, but she doesn't mind since his hands and lips make up for it.
"Southpaw's not out here with you? Bummer."
The hauntingly familiar voice makes Sawyer jolt out of her lovesick trance, a sudden feeling of unease twisting her stomach into a knot. It belongs to her ex-boyfriend, the one who decided to cheat on her behind her back. She had seen him walk in with his buddies and managed to ignore him... until now.
"Leave me alone, Jordan," she calls out monotonously without turning around to see his smug face.
"You got all dolled up, and your boyfriend isn't even paying attention to you," he says mockingly, his voice and footsteps getting closer.
"Go away."
"Are you two a thing now?" he presses like an interrogator.
Ugh! The audacity to ask such a thing! Sawyer turns to face him and brazenly replies, "That's totally none of your business."
Jordan removes his tattered trucker hat, ruffles his hair, and then puts it back on. "I think it is my business, considering you basically left me for him. You moved on fast."
She laughs to herself. "You're so delusional. Take the hint."
"Whatever," he says dismissively. His dilated eyes grossly run up and down her body. "You dress sluttier now."
Sawyer feels like she just got punched in the gut. It's one thing to hear him insinuate that she changed herself now that she's dating Harry, but it's another thing entirely to be degraded by someone she used to have idle respect for. An unsettling fusion of frustration and embarrassment seeps into the open wounds of her wings. Nevertheless, she puts on a brave face.
"Don't make me get Harry," she says with the most threatening tone she can muster up, "otherwise you'll be leaving here with a black eye."
"All right, all right." Jordan backs away, holding both hands high in surrender like a wimp. "Just don't get your dainty little heart broken."
"Screw you."
He doesn't reply and just gives her one last taunting look before sliding the squeaky patio door open to head back inside. Sawyer crosses her arms defensively and swallows down the burning lump in her throat. She's miserably cold, so she begins to cry. Not a sob, but a puny noise that gets stuck on the way out of her mouth and causes tears to fall past her bottom lashes. She knows wholeheartedly that she shouldn't let Jordan get under her skin. The flippant remarks he spewed are irrelevant and don't deserve to make her sensitive side come out of hiding. His words still hurt, though. Her confidence when she arrived has been completely demolished because of a stupid boy she once knew.
After ten minutes, the patio door opens again, and Sawyer hastily wipes away her tears with the back of her hand. Maybe she should just go back inside and find something to distract her; maybe join in on a lousy game of beer pong in the kitchen or find the television so she can watch Boyz II Men perform on Dick Clark's New Year's Rockin' Eve.
Looking up, she sees Harry standing in all his exuberant glory, wearing a cozy brown sweater and his trusty corduroy cap. He's also holding a plate with fruitcake on it. She doesn't have the energy nor interest to ask where he got it and why he has it.
"There's my girlfriend," he says happily, one hand casually perched on the doorframe. "You and me, let's go. They have Heart queued up for karaoke; we're doing "Alone.""
Sawyer wraps her arms around her shivering body. "I don't wanna sing right now," she says, trying to mask the glumness in her voice.
"Why not?" he asks as he walks toward her. "It's our song. Or we could get crazy and do "Barracuda." Or I could ask for "Suddenly, Seymour," if that's more your speed."
"No thanks."
"C'mon," Harry begs, setting the plate on a nearby table and embracing her in his strong arms. He tilts his cap up to smack a few warm kisses on her cheek, then murmurs, "I need you for the harmonies."
"You can do all the parts." He's a decent singer, surprisingly. "I believe in you."
He huffs and starts playing with her fingers, twisting her rings and rubbing his thumb over her glittery nail polish. "Please?"
In her pretty dress and tiara, Sawyer tilts her head and looks at him with big brown eyes that never fail to weaken him. She knows what she's doing—she's been doing it to him for years.
Harry immediately shields his face and says, "Don't give me those eyes."
"Give you what eyes?" she asks innocently.
"Sawyer Alejandra," he says as a warning.
She stomps her foot and cranes her neck back. "Do not use my middle name."
Smirking, he cradles the back of her head to tilt it forward again. "You stomping your foot only makes me want to kiss you. Stop being stubborn and tell me what's wrong."
"Nothing. I just want to go home."
"It's not even midnight yet. Did something happen?"
"No..."
"It's endearing how bad of a liar you are." His inquisitive gaze travels around her face, stopping at the slight wetness visible under her eyes. "Hey," he says softly. "Have you been crying? Why are we crying, baby?"
Sawyer sniffles and stares at the ground. "Is my outfit too much?"
The crème satin dress with a pleated bust outlined in gold flows elegantly down her body just the way she likes it. The tiara on her head arches with glimmering silver beads, an accessory she was so excited to wear. In the full-length mirror at her house, it seemed like the perfect outfit. Now, she's second-guessing it all because of Jordan's imprudent comment.
"Why? You look like an angel," Harry says while drying her leftover sadness with the sleeve of his sweater. "I almost didn't let us walk out the door, remember? We were kissing until we got dizzy."
She quirks her lips to the side and chews on the inside of her cheek. After a moment of insecure contemplation, she quietly asks, "Am I too much?"
He smooths out her eyebrows, his own becoming furrowed. The warmth and gentle caress of his calloused fingertips give her a sense of safety. "What brainless birdie is pecking nonsense into my girlfriend's head?"
"Jordan," she says with a wince. "Um, he came out here and tried to talk to me."
Sawyer braces for impact since his name has always been a touchy subject around Harry. She still remembers the time she told him the news about Jordan cheating. It was almost scary the way he was so willing to throw a screwball at him with a broken wrist. He might have been joking, but she fears he would have done something marginally worse if she hadn't persuaded him to leave it be. Karma probably unleashed her wrath anyway.
"What did he say to you," Harry says, jerking his chin up. It's not a question; it's a demand.
There's no way he's going to let her wriggle her way out of this one, so she truthfully relays, "He told me I dressed sluttier now."
Another brace for impact. Sawyer racks her mind for ways to restrain him if he moves to go find him. Judging by the size of her arms compared to his, she highly doubts she'd succeed.
"Which way did he go?" he asks in a calmer tone. His hand moves to her hip and flexes, almost as comfort for her and a way to suppress anger for himself.
"Please don't cause a scene," she says hurriedly. "The year doesn't need to end in a fist fight. Or another wrist injury."
Harry doesn't listen and glances behind his shoulder. "Do you want me to get him, or do you want to?" he asks through a tightened jaw.
"I think doing neither is the smartest choice."
Looking back at her in bewilderment, he says, "That dumbass made you cry, Sawyer."
"I cry all the time!"
"Yeah, over puppies," he stresses with flailing hand gestures, "and The Golden Girls. This is something serious that clearly made you upset!"
Sawyer scoffs. "Excuse me, The Golden Girls is very serious."
"That's wonderful, babe, but you need to listen to me." He points at himself. "I'm pissed, so what I'm gonna do is go get Jordan and have a civil conversation with him, 'kay?"
"Can I try my very hardest to convince you otherwise?"
Harry starts backing away, stuffing his hands in his pockets. "If you use those eyes on me again, we're going straight home, and you'll be in big trouble."
"I would actually love to go home right now."
He pokes his Shirley Temple-stained tongue out on his way to the door. Just as he's about to turn around, he stops and begins walking forward. He reaches behind his neck to remove his knitted sweater, then gently tosses it to her. "I thought I told you to bring a coat, Sawyer," he says before retreating inside.
The graphic tee she gets a glimpse of fits him well — a little too well — and the thin silver necklace he wears briefly catches in the light, the 'S' pendant he's had for years. He always teases her and says he got it because his last name is Styles. Sawyer smiles at the thought and absentmindedly toys with the 'H' pendant around her neck. She then puts on his sweater and lets his leftover warmth engulf her. It smells like his house, his cologne, his sheets--just him. It consumes her in an overwhelmingly beautiful way.
Harry is gone for no longer than a minute when he comes out again, this time with Jordan trailing behind him like a dog with its tail between its legs. He guides her to a chair and pulls her down on his lap, taking his cap off and sticking it in his pocket like always. Some curls fall over his forehead, and it makes her heart squeeze.
With one tattooed arm winding around her waist and the other holding his ankle propped on his thigh, Harry starts the conversation with a casual, "Long time no see, Jordan."
"Styles." His eyes narrow and shift over. "Sawyer."
"I heard you two already had a chat out here."
He uncomfortably readjusts his footing. "Yeah, we bumped into each other."
"Oh, did you?" Harry asks sarcastically. "You know, you're digging yourself a deeper hole by lying."
"I'm not lying," Jordan replies with too much confidence.
Harry laughs in amusement. "That's funny." Sitting up a bit, he tightens his hold on Sawyer. "I suggest you tell the truth and tell me exactly what you said to her."
"Dude, it's not that big of a deal."
"It is when my girlfriend is involved."
Jordan scoffs and looks around incredulously. "Well, maybe if you were out here with her instead of ignoring—"
"You fuckin' cheated on her, mate, don't tell me—"
"Stop it!" Sawyer blurts, stressfully swiping a hand over her forehead. "Both of you, just stop."
Harry takes a deep breath and cracks his neck. "I want you to apologize," he continues more calmly, "and if you're not willing to do that, then I'd be more than happy to have a little chat with you myself."
Jordan's hesitant body language speaks for itself. He knows not to mess with him. "I'm sorry, okay?"
"Sorry for what?" Harry asks.
"For saying—"
"Speak to her, not me."
Jordan grinds his teeth, making awkward eye contact with Sawyer. "I'm sorry I said that you dressed sluttier now. You... look great. You look happy."
"Thanks," Sawyer mutters while picking at her chipped nail polish.
"See?" Harry says, flipping his palms up. "That's all we needed."
"Can I go now?"
"Sure thing, bud. One last thing: I never want to see your face again or hear that you've been talking to my girlfriend, got it?"
"Jeez, chill out. Happy fucking New Year."
With that, he removes himself from the interaction with a drunken peace sign. The thick tension in the air disperses, and Sawyer releases the breath she'd been holding while curling into Harry's chest.
"Boys are so exhausting."
Harry hums, lightly scratching her back. "You're not wrong."
"Not you, though." She kisses his jaw and then scans the balcony. "Hey, is there a reason why you brought an entire fruitcake out here?"
"Oh, it's— I, uh," he stammers, his shoulders slumping. "I forget."
Sawyer cradles his cheeks and giggles fondly. "You make me laugh, sunray."
His skin grows warmly rubescent under her touch. "I burn brighter when I'm around you. How could I not when I get to hear that laugh?"
She plummets deeper in love, a straight drop into daylong devotion. "My sunray."
"Forever." Harry goes off into his own world for a bit. After studying his surroundings, his face suddenly lights up like he mentally stumbled upon some profound epiphany. "Wait, listen to this. You asked me if you're too much, yeah?" He nods to where the dessert he brought out sits. "You're like that fruitcake. On the outside, people who don't know you assume things about your character, like how people judge fruitcake by its appearance. They say it doesn't look tempting before they even try it. But on the inside" — he gently pokes where her heart is — "there are all these delightful little fruits that make up who you are. They take people by surprise."
Sawyer hides her face in his neck. "That was a really stupid analogy."
"You were so about to smile," Harry says, giving her a playful noogie. "I can tell."
She slaps his hand away. "Ow! I was not."
"Were too."
A sudden boom interrupts their harmless bickering as fireworks begin shooting off in the sky, making Harry instinctively pull Sawyer closer due to the startling noise. They both turn their attention past the balcony railing and admire the colorful, celebratory explosions. They burst and crepitate amongst the stars, grandly signifying the start of a new year. She was so enamored by Harry that she didn't even hear the partygoers chanting the countdown inside.
"It's 1992," Harry says in her ear. Over the thunderous noise, his voice sounds like a deep rumble, but it's still comprehensible to her since she's tuned into him constantly.
Sawyer turns her head to find him already staring at her. She smiles. "Happy New Year."
"Our first year as a couple," he says as he fixes her crooked tiara.
Shyly averting her gaze, she whispers, "Yeah, it is." It's probably impossible to hear.
"Can I kiss you?"
"You don't have to ask, Harry."
"I know." The fireworks look mesmerizing in the reflection of his pupils. "It's just that you get so nervous. I want to make sure you're comfortable since our dynamic has changed."
Sawyer passes a hand over his stomach and hooks her pointer finger in one of his belt loops. "I'm always comfortable around you. Besides, nothing has changed too much, has it?"
"No, I suppose not." He smirks and glances at her lips. “Except we kiss now, which is super cool."
She scrunches her nose. "You're silly."
"In all seriousness," he says with a squeeze to her hip, "take however long you need to warm up to this whole thing. I can be patient for you."
"I'll get there."
"I know. I know you will. We're dating now, but that doesn't stop you from still being my best friend."
Sawyer rests her forehead against his. "I love you," she mouths over the sounds of revelry in the sky.
"In what way?" Harry mouths back.
Beaming, she speaks up loud and clear. "In a way that makes me want to kiss you all the time."
His eyes close for a second before he replies, "You can't say things like that. Shit, you're making my heart go crazy right now."
She places her palm on his thumping heartbeat. "Then kiss me, summerboy."
"Mm. Once I start, I won't be able to stop."
"That's fine by me."
Harry nudges his nose with hers before diving in, capturing her lips with a slight clashing of teeth. Deep and slow, he lets each one linger while guiding her face with one hand. He's a face-grabber when he kisses, and it makes her entire body shudder. She can taste the maraschino cherries he always eats first before sipping his virgin cocktail. Sour and a little bit sweet, something she can never get enough of.
He eventually pulls away with a soft pop. Over the past few months, he's gotten quite acquainted with Sawyer's mouth by kissing her like he's making up for every time he wanted to but couldn't. "I love you so much." Kiss. "And I'm obsessed with you." Kiss. "And I could look at you forever."
Sawyer gets her own kisses in, three smacks in a row that make him hum blissfully during each one. "You'd get bored of my face," she replies breathlessly.
"I would absolutely not." He twirls a strand of her golden hair and stares at her attentively. "Your eyes are such a dark brown, but they still light up when you smile or laugh. I fuckin' love it when they do that. You're my brown-eyed honey angel."
"Do not start complimenting me."
"God, and when I first met you on the beach" — Harry looks off into the distance and shakes his head slowly — "I thought you were so pretty. Like, it blew my mind how someone could be that pretty."
Sawyer presses her fingers against his swollen lips. "Literally shut up, Harry."
"Then I heard your voice, sweet and soft like a songbird." He's giggling through his words now, but they still come out with complete sincerity. "My heart made room for yours right then and there. I was a goner."
She blushes profusely. "Stop it, or I'll push you off this balcony."
"Then you almost gave me a concussion, but I feel like that was fate. You made me dizzy then, and you make me dizzy now."
"Enough!"
"I'm going to love you for a lifetime, Sawyer," Harry confesses candidly. “I hope you know that. You could push me off this balcony, and I'd still follow you to the end of the earth."
"That's oddly romantic, but let's love each other through 1992 first," she tells him, patting his dimpled cheek. "Okay?"
"Whatever you want, fruitcake."
She laughs and shoves his firm chest. "Your nicknames for me suck!"
He steals another kiss, smiling into it. "See what I mean? That laugh lights me up. And hey, fruitcake is a better nickname than shortstop, right?"
"I guess," Sawyer mutters, "but I… I really like it when you call me baby." The last portion is whispered quickly and sheepishly, yet the gleam in her boyfriend's eyes tells her he heard it all.
"Yeah, baby?" Harry murmurs with a satisfied groan as he readjusts her in his lap. “You gotta stop saying things like that. It's got me going weak in the knees." Sawyer bites her lip, causing him to lull his head to the side and clutch where his heart is. “God, everything you do makes me want to kiss you for hours."
So they do. Not for hours, but long enough for the fireworks to fade out and the party inside to die down with remnants of confetti and glitter on the ground. Under the stars, they kiss until they become dizzy with love and secret exchanges of words they have yearned to say to each other for so long. Just the two of them on a random balcony, falling deeper and deeper in love with each other until it's time to go home.
They shine too brightly to be dimmed.
——
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