SCREAMING CRYING THROWING UP SAKAKIHARA-SAN WON ROOKIE OF THE YEAR IN THE SEIYUU AWARDS LETS GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

EMBRASSE-MOI

: pairing — student! jay x tutor! reader

: genre — fluff, crack 

: song recc. — L’amour by Miel De Montagne 

: a/n — this lowkey sucks but I've been wanting to get work out so I'm sorry if this isn't the best :(( also I'm still learning french so if some of it is wrong pls lmk so i can fix it!! 

Jay was your school’s resident bad boy. blond hair, all-black outfits, cuts class and yells at kids that look his way. you know? the usual. You on the other hand were the complete opposite. straight-A student. A quiet kid who didn’t dare look the ways of Jay Park and his Clique™. So imagine the shock that was felt when the boy you avoided at all costs, walks up to you in the middle of the cafeteria asking for French lessons. 

“You want me to do what?” He rolls his eyes, tired of this conversation already. 

“Can you not hear? I’m failing French and I need to pass or else my parents won’t let me move to France.” He speaks as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. 

“And you’re asking me why?” He rolls his eyes again for what felt like the 100th time. You’re just confused about how he even knows of your existence.

“Listen, all I know that you’re in my French class and that you pay attention, I’ll even pay you I just need to get my mark up.” You perk up to the sound of money. You don’t really need but it’s still nice to have some. Doing this will get you good Karma right? 

“Fine. Meet me at the library every Monday and Wednesday after class, got it?” Jay stares at you with annoyance. He really does not want to be wasting his senior year on stupid lessons but, here we are. He reluctantly agrees and watches you walk away, struggling to hold your books in your arms. He turns around and lets out a deep sigh, wondering if the hot chicks and fancy baguettes in France are really worth this

Minutes turned into hours as you waited for Jay to show up. You waited patiently for hours just for this kid to not show up. Annoyed, you start to pack up your books. You don’t know why you’d think someone like Jay would actually show up to a voluntary tutor session. You were just about to make your way out of the library when you see someone running towards you almost like the flash. As the figure got closer to your still body, you realize it was Jay. Now, bent over in front of you gasping for air with his tongue out like a dog. You stared at his limped-over figure with confusion and slight disgust. 

“s-s-sorry i was… late, i f-forgot about… this.” he manages to speak out with the little air he has in him. He stands up and evens out his breath. 

“what makes you think i’m gonna tutor you now? you wasted my time Park, i have a life too you know.” you snap at him. He stares at you for a brief second before letting out a hearty laugh, throwing his head back and slapping his leg. He sees your serious expression, your eyes glaring at him like an eagle and awkwardly stops laughing. 

“Look, i’m paying you and this is only gonna last for a little while. i just need to pass, that’s it.” His eyes shine with a hopeful gleam, a look that is extremely rare to see from Jay Park. He looked a little cute. You dramatically sigh and start walking into the library, Jay following behind you. 

You settle at the table you sat at prior, re-opening your book bag to pull out your notes. He just watches you do that, not making an effort to even bring out a pencil. 

“Okay, so how much french do you even know?” 

He stares into space, a little hesitant to continue. “Um, i can ask if i can go to the bathroom?” You stare at him with disbelief. You’ve been in this class with him for months and that’s all he knows. 

“THAT’S IT?” 

“Oh and i can say good morning!” you let out a loud groan that catches the attention of others around, causing them to loudly shush at you. Feeling annoyed again, you contemplate if the money was really worth it. You sigh out and start looking for your notes from the beginning of the semester. This was gonna take a LONG time. 

“... and that’s how you conjugate verbs in the past tense, aka passé composé!” You finish off the session with joy. Jay on the other hand has gone completely blank, not remembering a single word you just told him. He stares down at his notes, then at you, then back down at his notes. You can see the struggle on his face and he hasn’t said a word yet. 

“I’m never gonna pass french. This is it. I can kiss France goodbye.” he claims with despair. This already too hard for him and he barely has learned anything. He sets his head on the table and mumbles to himself about how he will never be happy if he doesn’t live his youthful 20’s in France. You sat across from him irritated with his discouraging behaviour and a little sad that you weren’t able to teach him well. Until you come up with a plan that might help him improve much quicker.  

“What if… we hang out this weekend? We can do something and we’ll only speak in French! Of course I’ll help you and all that. But like, maybe? Only if you want to of course you probably don’t wanna spend your weekend with me i dont know you know its just a plan.” you ramble on and on without stopping and Jay simply just watches you. He smirks a little before nodding. 

“How about you put your number in my phone and then I’ll text you when I’m free hm?” he slides his phone across the table towards you and eyes you typing it in. He catches a glimpse of your rose-coloured cheeks and smirks a little more. 

“Okay, uh there’s my number! Just um, text me you know, when you’re free!” you manage to stutter out. Jay just nods at you and again, watches you walk away. This time a slight smile across his face. 

A sudden notification pulls you away from your thoughts. An unknown number that you had a feeling belonged to a particular boy you didn’t think would actually text you. 

042-002-1130: bonjour 

042-002-1130: was that even right

042-002-1130: anyways I’m free on saturday if you wanna hang ig 

042-002-1130: samedi is saturday right 

042-002-1130: it is wow im such a genius 

You let out a snort at his cocky behaviour and reply back, letting him know that you were free yourself and to meet you at the school grounds at 2 pm. 

Saturday shows up as you wait outside the school gates, a picnic basket in hand. An all-black car with dark tinted windows zooms up to you. The window is pulled down and alas, the handsome boy sits in the driver’s seat, ushering you to get into the car with his hand. 

“Woah a picnic basket? Listen y/n you’re cool and all but this isn’t a date,” he speaks and notices you roll your eyes. A smug smile tugging his lips. 

“No you asshole, I have a plan with this.” 

“Tell me,” Jay begins to drive away from the school. The destination is unknown to you but extremely familiar to the boy next to you. 

“In here there is a bunch of food, in order for you to eat, you’re gonna have to say the name of the food in french.” He turns his head to see you looking back at him, a sweet smile places on your face. Jay has always known of you. You sat in the back of the classroom, handed in all your work on time and never skipped a class. You had very few friends and always seemed to be lost in a dream world when you weren’t working. Jay had never been able to speak to you personally as you always avoided him but know he has the chance to actually talk to you, and he doesn’t wanna mess it up. 

The car stopped at the edge of a giant grassy field. The greenery going miles ahead. Trees surrounding the two of you. Jay like a gentleman runs out of the car to open the door for you. You blush at his actions, thanking him silently by smiling at him. 

He directs you to a small spot under a tree. You lay out a blanket for you to sit on while Jay leans up against the tree. You tell him to sit down next to you as you bring out all the little snacks to share with him. He thinks that he could get used to this. 

“D’accord, commençons! Qu'est-ce que ç'est?” (okay, lets start! What is this?) 

You pick up a grape. He thinks for a little bit before answering. “Un raisin.” (a grape) You clap with glee and hand him over the grape. A silence falls between you both, unaware of how to keep going. He picks up a strawberry and brings it to your face. “Tu aime les fraises?” (do you like strawberries?) You eye him for a second, for someone who said he only knows how to ask how to go the bathroom in french, he knows quite a bit. You nod a little, opening your mouth and letting him feed you the sweet fruit. Your face matches the colour of the strawberry and he giggles. You pull out a sandwich and ask him to describe what’s in it. 

“Dans le sandwich, il y a du jambon, du beurre, et de la tomate.” (in the sandwich there is some ham, some butter, and some tomato.) He speaks confidently. 

“Trés bien Jay! Tu es bon en parler francias!” (very good Jay! You are really good at speaking French!) 

“Merci, mon Cheri.” (Thank you, my dear.) you blush even more before and shy away from Jay’s gaze. Jay being the very bold guy that he is, placing his hand underneath your jaw, forcing you to meet his eyes. You both just stare at each other as the sun sets behind you. Was Jay always this beautiful? His eyes scan over your face seeking for any discomfort, none is to be found. So he makes the move and starts to lean in. You already have your eyes closed and lips puckered out, ready to embrace a feeling you’ve never felt before.

His breath fans over your lips and just before he kisses you he asks “je peux t’embrasser? (can I kiss you?) you eagerly nod and whisper out “embrasse-moi.” (kiss me.) Jay finally places his lips on yours and everything feels right. Your hands find their way to the back of his neck to deepen the kiss. You stay in this position with him for a little while before you pull back for air. Both his hands cradle your face, his thumb rubbing across the apples of your cheeks.

“I still have a lot to learn y’know?” Jay breaks the silence. You laugh out loud, falling into his lap. 

“Same time next week then yeah?” He lets out a ‘hmm’ and watches you rest your head against his thigh, playing with the ends of your hair. ‘Maybe France could wait a little’ he thought. 

Okay fine we're doing this. I havent read the books and I'm probably not going to I've only seen the movies so I'm sorry if anything I say is contradictory or has already been stated.

So! Descendants 3 was kinda shit and I dont like it but especially because of the ending because everybody was like "oh yeah island is open and we're all happy with no worries or implications about free villains or people being spiteful about being imprisoned for years!" In fact if anything they joked about those things.

The island is basically its own culture, I can't say how long it's been around, long enough for some almost adult kids to be about and to develop a kind of community.

The Isle is a place of poverty, people are dirty and on the street, eveyone steals from each other and most people don't put much effort into appearance upkeep (personal or of the sourounding area) not because of laziness or being "evil" but because they clearly don't have time or luxury to do such things or possibly even the clean water. Does the Isle have clean water?? How to they get electricity??? Someone tell me!

Another thing that I've noticed is easy to see but is not much explicitly said is the unique style of those on the Isle. As previously stated they don't have much but those who have the most "power" and such on the Isle are the best example of this As they have the most colourful outfits. However these outfits are often made out of patches and ripped things put together, even salvaged things like nets and chains as we can see on thing like Uma and Harry's outfits in D3 they make the best of what they've got and they do fantastic because their outfits are intricate and detailed and just tell you everything you need to know about them. Which is why it's a damn s h a m e when the original VK's ajust their style to be more like Auradon's. That's not an improvement! Be proud of where you came from!! It's like they forgot what it was like being on the Isle in D3!

Moving on, here's something that was touched on in D2 but not enough. Equality. On the Isle there is basically equal opportunity as in saying everything is shit and nome cares what gender and presumably what sexuality you are as long as you can work. Sexism is shown to be almost casual in aurodon from the looks of it, Chad makes sexist comments and litterally none else says anything or seems to see anything wrong with it except Jay who caves to pressure from peers and expectations. He does redeem himself because he's from the isle and he knows you shouldn't give a shit about anyone's gender or anything. If they can do something and ask to be included you give them that opportunity. The sexism is also implied in the way that the rule book has men written specifically in the first place and that it has taken until then for anyone but boys to be allowed on any kind of sports team. We never see it! It seems to be the hetronormative veiw where the boys do sport and girls do cheerleeding and other genders? What other genders? Never heard of that? BAD AURADON!! I bet there's so many trans folk on the island just living their lives, thinking Aurodon is the better place and not knowing that it's a cis het filled nightmare.

Okay no I'm headcannoning now, if their are now a bunch of Isle kids at auradon prep they find it fucking aweful the way all these preppy royals are treating them and make the first LGBT club in Auradon. There is lots of pushback and they get bullied a fuck ton for making themselves the most prominent queer folk in the school until a fight breaks out and the club demand that they should be treated better, taking all the evidence to fairy godmother who is very hesitant because COME ON she's never been that great she is biased to Auradon kids and if putting away those in the Isle is brought up she is all on it, she is jelly spined about doing anything against the royal kids. So the kids are like "Fine, if you won't help us we'll take this to the King himself!" Well mainly the queer mom's of the group (you know the ones I'm talking about) who lead the others and protect the anxious queers as they storm to Ben at his fucking locker and demand an audience because they are being harassed and bullied and none is doing anything. Ben had no idea there was even a LGBT club (too busy ig) and is gassed there is one for a moment before he's like "wait people are harassing you?" So Bisexual King Ben gets his lovely Bi wife and they start coming to club meetings and investing in the pins and stuff the club makes. Most club members are pleased but the queer mom's are apprehensive that this will help until some assholes come to the club to do their usual bullying only to find King and Queen Beast themselves siting there with rainbow bracelets and bi pins and all trying to have a nice old time eating their fucking cupcakes what the fuck are yall doing? The bullying dies down quick once they realise it ain't gonna fly, the other OG VK's that hear about this become members and very protective over their queer children. Did I mention Dizzy and Ceila are a part of the club? They're girlfriend's. Celia is one of the queer moms. Harry becomes one of the biggest protectors over the group as the pan dad. He's been going around snogging everyone and anyone wholl snog him everyone already knew he was queer they just didn't have the balls to try and bully him over it as much as they bullied the lil club members. But now Harry can often be seen in jackets and shit with pan and general queer patches and pins and running around with his gay children yelling "MOVE WE'RE GAY!!" He totally calls them his queer crew. Anyway as a result lots of queer royals start coming out of the woodwork, obvs Lonnie is one of them, and the club eventually serves to bring members of Auradon and the Isle close together.

Where was I? Yada yada auradon expects girls to be pretty princesses and boys to be brave knights or dashing princes. It's shit and should stop being portrayed as good. Moving on!

Food! One of the things we'll established in all movies is that the food of the Isle is shit compared to food of Auradon. The Isle has no fresh fruit which likely means its almost impossible for things to grow there which is fair because again there doesn't seem to be much fresh water and there are always clouds overhead so no sun. Maybe there is some people trying really hard to grow stuff but the general attitude of the Isle seems to be "there is no time for that" and fruits are forgotten so much that the VK's litterally don't knownwhat they are when they come across them. That and anything containing sugar. Actually it's mention by Dizzy and Celia that they enjoy the fact that the cake dosent have dirt or flies so basically food there is terrible. We don't see much food on the Isle but what we do see seems to be beans, eggs, chips and shellfish. Basically protine and carbs that can be easily stored and produced. To be fair beans are kidna good for you but they're likely a sign that if they get any imports from the mainland it is canned stuff. Prison food. There's probably some chef villain that is trying their best to make good food out of the shit but honestly the Isle dwellers should be angry that they've been deprived of good food for so long not happy they're finally been given decency.

Moving on, music! Auradon dosent have nearly as many musical numbers it seems, the Isle songs have a distinct style, to them, the villains that basically "founded" the place were masters of the dramatic songs (with backup or solo) so banging music is basically ingrained in the music's culture, even for battle as we see with the fight between Mal and Uma in D3. Meanwhile Auradon seems to have mainly romance and "I want" songs. Even Audrey's villain song is basically an I want song.

Okay let's talk about the Villains. We've established that the VK's are not inherently bad. However not all of them can be totally good and there are legit OG Villains just kinda chillin on the Isle. They've obviously lost quite a bit of their power, motivation and sanity (isolation will do that to ya as they lost everything and the VKs know no different) but deadass? They were bad guys. You can try to rehabilitate them sure but you've basically just let them free roam, they could make a runner and you wouldn't get the chance. They were also shitty patents which is brushed over/joked about in the interaction between Carlos and...man I feel bad I forgot her name deadass their relationship seemed to come out of nowhere in the second film she didn't seem interested in them at all and friendzoned them multiple times I'm pretty sure Disney did that becaue queer kids were relating to Carlos and headcanoning them as queer (which they deffinatly are) but deadass their mom is an attempted animal murderer and has hurt her child as we can see from how they're afraid of her and her rhetoric and yet it's "haha I'm afraid to meet your ma!" "Me too cus im a dog! Lol!" Fuuuuck offfffff

I think I'm running out of thoughts so here's a last one for now; with the magical barrier down a bunch of magical Villains kids should be coming out for the woodwork. We know Mal has magic basically stored in her so it's is possible, she technically doesn't need the spellbook to do magic it is just inherent to her. So with the diverse range of people from the isle there are deffinatly magic folk in there. Actually if we're following Disney movie law I saw something mentioning Jay being half Genie and yeah! He should be half Genie! Jafar got turned into a Genie he's probably only human because of the barrier! Oh also Ben should be able to go beast on command as long as he had a better beast form than he did in the movies. And give him back the beard and fangs like fuck you he looked so much better

Okay I'm done for now

the pre-pancetta snippet: early december, 3 months before the world went to shit

💉levi gets sick [levi grumbles in the background]

it was the pre-pandemic flu season. levi caught it at work and just his luck, it was pretty bad for him. but healthcare is expensive, capitalism sucks, so he wore a mask and still went to work the next day, thinking bedrest during the weekend would be enough. erwin kindly dropped off some sports drinks while hange gave him a new bag of black tea leaves. oc comes home to find him almost asleep at the table while waiting for water to boil for his tea and her senses tingle. she just knows. levi is pretty out of it by then, very pissed, feeling like shit, but still thinking about the slack he has to pick up at work. oc is very concerned because he looks awful. she bugs him and asks him if he’s okay with her checking him up. he is about to tell her to piss off but what the hell, lucky his roomie’s a doctor and he’ll take free healthcare when he can. so he nods once in dramatic brooding levi fashion.

her hands are cool on his forehead and neck, it feels so good, and levi is really trying not to accidentally moan out loud. when she brings out her stethoscope and asks him to take deep breaths, his focus is on her hand absentmindedly rubbing his shoulder [levi thoughts: he’s really out of it if this is all he can focus on]. oc’s brow furrows when she finds out he’s had only one cup of tea for the entire day and only one meal the day before. he says he’s brewing more, but oc is not having it! she heats up some leftover soup she has and makes him eat before handing him a tylenol. levi feels unsteady and weak but he’s trying to keep up the i’m-fine-it’s-just-the-flu facade. oc sees right through it and tails him to his room.

she helps him to bed, all while saying he’ll need meds for the virus and he needs to eat and drink more fluids because he’ll need an IV drip if not. even if it’s just the flu, he got a pretty bad case. levi strips off his shirt before he drops onto his pillows, grumpy and dismissive, telling her to just leave the prescription. he can handle it. oc snorts before leaving him alone (for now)

levi wakes up to rustling sounds and finds oc by his bedside setting up some stuff. his head is pounding, entire body is aching, and his cough is killing his throat. he’s very grumpy and is about to tell oc to just let him be but he gets a coughing fit. oc rubs his back while checking his vitals, her voice soft with worry as she asks him how he is feeling. he says he went to the bathroom but that’s it. he doesn’t see oc frown, but he’s more than annoyed that he is disturbed when she digs him out of the blankets. she helps him sit up, propping him on his pillows, and she makes him eat more soup, drink some tea, and take his meds. his throat is cooling and he realizes belatedly that she made him strong mint tea. he’s just swallowing whatever so he can go back to sleep [levi is trying very hard not to vocalize his disappointment whenever her hands leave him]. oc sighs at the little care her patient has for himself, but she tells him that he needs a drip at this point. she’s not satisfied with how little he’s been eating and drinking. levi is ready to throw hands because he refuses to spend thousands of dollars for 2 hours at the emergency room and get scammed by health insurance just so they can give him IV fluids, but oc surprises him by saying she’s all set up, and if he’s okay with it, she can do it here.

he shrugs and holds out his hand. the skin of her hands are a little rough with a few calluses, her touch so light and sure. the needle pinches but the pain dulls after a few seconds. he watches oc taping up the line and securing his hand to some makeshift splint so it doesn’t move around much. oc hangs up the bottle on the hanger she installed on the wall lamp by his bed before heading out. levi tries to fall back into sleep again. suddenly, he feels a damp cool cloth brush his forehead and his face while another hand runs through his hair gently. he’s groggy and he squirms because what. he hears oc shushing him, saying something about sponge baths for fever, and he’s just so not used to tenderness and care, and she’s sponging down his neck and his chest, running over his arms, turning him on his side gently so she doesn’t jostle him into wakefulness. her hands are firm and gentle as they wipe down his back and it’s cool and soothing and so good over his heated skin. he falls asleep in minutes. this never happens.

he thinks oc drops in once more in the middle of the night because he remembers someone holding him up to take something. when he wakes up the next morning, his fever is gone and he feels like himself again. he sees an empty bottle on his bedside table which means oc must have changed his drip too. the one he’s hooked to is almost gone. he’s in the middle of answering a work email on his phone when oc, already dressed for work, pops in to check on him. she has a tray in hand, looking genuinely relieved and happy that he’s better. his knows his appetite is back because the smell immediately makes his mouth water. he is very hungry after 3 days of soup and tea. she made really good pancakes, fried bacon to a perfect crisp, and the scrambled eggs are savory and creamy. it’s killing him. he can forgive the tea bag from a packet. levi is still a tea snob. oc is cheery, chirping that he’s good to go without a drip as long as he keeps up his food and fluids.

oc: water, tea, or pocari sweat, levi! none of the sugary sports drinks erwin left you, that stuff is a scam.

levi: i don’t have pocari—

oc: i bought you some, they’re in the drinks cupboard!

levi: why—

oc: it’s not just sugar, it has the electrolytes you need!!

she unhooks the IV and takes out his line, lays out his medication regimen and tells him to please call her if he starts feeling bad again. levi rolls his eyes and bats her concern away, grumbling that he’s fine and well enough, but he’s listening to every word she says. he utters a small thank you because how on earth does he convey his immense gratitude in words, he is not used to words!!! his cheeks feel very warm. oc giggles and ruffles his hair. she understands her roomie’s not talkative, but his soft gaze betrays everything beneath his gruff exterior. his shyness is adorable even if he was a grumpy old man while sick. oc thinks that her theory of him being 89 years old deep inside might be right after all. she sternly tells him to rest and lay off strenuous activities until he’s really recovered.

oc: rest. no cleaning today.

levi: my room—

oc: no. cleaning. today.

and just like that, she’s off to work [levi thoughts: wtf she works on sundays?]. all that levi can think of for three days, or more like since that day, are her gentle, comforting touches, her kind smiles, and how pretty she is. he tries, he really tries to push back the thoughts and bury the memories, but all efforts become in vain for him the next week.

he’s reading on the couch and relaxing for the night when oc comes out of her room looking like a fucking goddess. she’s in a deep green dress of flowing silk with thigh-high slit, sporting a dark, vibrant red lip, complaining of some recognition ceremony she has to attend for one of her bosses at work. she pouts while slipping on pumps that make her legs look even more stunning. levi is aware that he is staring and has tuned out her voice, so he forces himself out of it. he remembers basic conversation etiquette and lamely asks about the party. oc says it’s a black-tie-long-gown thing that’s a waste of her time. she twists her hair up in a messy bun and puts on earrings, grumbling that this is the most formal she’ll go. levi is mildly amused when she says she’ll nick a bottle of good champagne and some desserts before she escapes the party in an hour. tops.

levi: what if you get caught?

oc: they can spare one bottle and a few cupcakes

levi: and what reason have you come up with if they start interrogating you?

oc: my roommate is sad and a stress-eat is essential after shitty weeks of being underpaid laborers *cheeky smile*

he rolls his eyes. when she steps out their door (her uber’s there), levi counts to ten before groaning very loudly to let his frustrations out.

but she really did steal and bring home the good stuff, squealing in excitement when she sees that he was still up. he actually waited for her to get home but she doesn’t need to know that. they shared fruit tarts and fancy mini-cakes and worked through the bottle of champagne while bonding over their mutual disdain for assholes at work. conversation was open and easy, and levi cannot remember when he has been this comfortable around others who weren’t old friends of his. he was in an old shirt and jogger shorts. oc was still in her dress, barefoot, lipstick still perfect and bun still messy, picking a strawberry off the last cake while laughing at his dry jab about her boss. and jesus christ, she was exquisite.

at this point, denial begins to trickle in, but levi doesn’t know that yet. it’s just the champagne, right?

end. this was so mf long, i’m so sorry 😭 anyway this is insanely self-indulgent, and this is me coping with the pandemic (and with SnK ending today)

AHHHHHHH I LOVE ALL OF THIS ANON!!! SO MUCH!!!! PLEASE THIS HIT ALL THE MARKS!! Levi being reluctant to having someone take care of him, oc picking up on him not feeling well even though he’s not really showing it, and eventually just giving him the care and attention he needs (without suffocating him because you know he would be grumpy about that). I love this wow, seriously. 

AND THE END!! When they’re drinking together and he’s feeling better, you know damn well he didn’t even want her to leave in the first place, and IM SO GLAD HE’S FINALLY REALIZING!! Levi, my beloved, you are in love it is not the champagne 😌😌

Hi can I please have matchups with the fandoms fruits basket, mcu, night at the museum, and rise of the guardians preferably male matches. Im a 5’4” tall woman with pale skin, blue eyes, and buzz cut mousy brown hair. I’m shy and a bit anti social But I’m also a rebel with a kind heart. I mostly wear black clothing. I’m an artist as well and the mom friend of my friend group. Although I’m shy I’m not afraid to speak my mind and be blunt.

Sorry I couldn't do fruits basket I haven't seen it in a very long time and will be temporarily be taking it off the list until I watch it again and familiarise myself with the characters again. also. so so sorry for the late response, life's been hectic, mental health has been crap but I'll try to work through my inbox and get through my asks.

Marvel Cinematic Universe:

Octava Wilson Aka The Falcon is the extroverted side and prefers to do the talking however is more than happy to sit back and let you do your thing, he's hard working and kind, adapt at counselling and helping others he is more than happy to let you lean on him if you ever need and more than happy to support you in anything you would need support in. He enjoys the bluntness and loves when you speak your mind as he believes that some people aren't honest and too the point enough.

Night at The Museum

Octavias An outspoken and honourable person who wouldn't initially be considered any sort of rebellious. He'd initially not like your rebellious nature as he prefers when people are organised and civil but with the relationship with you and friendship with Jedediah and Larry and everyone else has made him much more relaxed, and he's much more willing to adapt and change depending on moods and scenarios. He admires your more responsible nature and 'mum friend' attitude which has helped keep others out of trouble and safe, that mixed with your more honest and blunt way of speaking means he finds communicating with you much easier and quicker.

Rise of The Guardian:

Jack Frost likes to tease you, he likes to encourage you to open up and while at the start he struggled to back off when needed to, he made an effort learn when to back off and let you avoid people and more high stress social events. He makes an effort to appeal and bring out the side that wants to relax and fun and not worry about anything but his own sometimes reckless behaviour (especially when he's trying to show off and impress you) would concern you sometimes, admittedly, he likes the attention, but doesn't like seeing you frown or upset, he was so happy when he found out you could see him so he doesn't want to do anything where you wouldn't want to see him. He LOVES your art and will often almost non-stop pester you to tell him more about it even if you've told him about it before, he'll want to hear it again, and again, and again, because he likes how you smile when you talk about it.

Happy Birthday Burnsy!

@burnsoslow​

Burns,

You probably don't remember this, but the first time I ever talked to you was a reply to your comment on my fic, The Breakfast Club, in early July. I'm not sure what possessed you to reach out to me a week later in chats but, you did and its been one wild and crazy ride since then. You've certainly come a long way since we were new and mulling over those earlier stories-or in your case-Heavier Things, Chapter 1 (YOU ARE STILL WRITING THAT...LOL) . And while you have sooooo many friends here, for some reason you chose me to be your Tumbler Bestie. I hope you know you are so much more than that though ... you're my sister, my twinsie, a truly good friend. You've inspired me in ways you'll never know. I have watched you grow in your craft and reach an unprecedented level of talent that is evidenced in the quality of your work and through the amount of enthusiastic readers who can't wait for you to post the next epic chapter. You did it all through a tremendous amount of hard work, lot of tears and because you have a likeness that draws people to you. You're just truly an incredibly, special person who possesses a certain spark that makes this crazy place even better. And I think I tell you enough, but you really are one of the best writers in this fandom. And as you say to me all the time, I'm gonna say to you ... I'm one proud TBFF!! I can't thank you enough for all the late night laughs, bull sessions, real talks, 6 hour chats about nothing, letting me know when I'm being a dumbass or just being there when things get really, really tough. The fic I wrote isn't anything special and definitely could have been better, however I hope in some small way it captures the essence of our crazy friendship. Keep growing and shining and being your amazing self.

Love you my friend and Happy Birthday!!

Brandy

**You asked for Drake, Alyssa, Riley and Liam shenanigans. I don't know if this will be what you were expecting, but its what I came up with after 20 different versions. You'll recognize some of this as inside jokes or dialogue and situations from your own stories (yep, I stole them...lol). This is wacky and crazy and makes no sense. Okay Im shutting up now.

Thank you @sirbeepsalot for gutting the hell out of this on Monday night and @emceesynonymroll for SO MUCH of your help and suggestions. Also to my lovely pre-readers/keep me saners @jessiembruno and @loveellamae

Song Inspiration: You're Still The One by Shania Twain. **Drakes final dialogue will come from these lyrics.

Alyssa pulled her black mini-van through the palace gates, running over a cone and nearly taking out Michael, the security guard, in the process. Her hair was swept up into a very messy bun and her sunglasses were perched atop her head. She was wearing a blue, faded Bears sweatshirt, black leggings with a small hole in the crotch, and a mismatched pair of flip-flops -- both were for the left foot. Unable to find a close parking space, she double-parked her van in two handicapped-accessible spaces. She checked her reflection in the rear view mirror and wiped away the smudges of mascara that had run below her eyes. 

She was hurt and mad as hell, yet waited until, 'DIRRTY’, finished on the radio before shutting the van off and tossing the keys in her oversized mom purse. Alyssa’s dainty fingers fumbled hastily as she tried to release the lock on her seatbelt with no luck. "You son of a bitch! Let me go!"

After pulling and tugging, twisting and karate chopping at it as hard as she could, she finally freed herself.

“HAHA! MOTHERFUCKER! GOTCHA!”

Alyssa snatched her purse and cell phone before she swung the door open, hopped out, and kicked the door shut. Still mumbling obscenities, she walked a few paces before turning back around and hitting the van’s hood with her swinging purse. “Fucking hold me hostage like that again and I’m driving your ass into a ravine!” 

Everyone who knows Alyssa Walker would say she is generally a fun, loving, and sociable little woman. She’s a devoted wife who has been married to the man of her dreams for several years and a wonderful mother to their children. She's very successful professionally, having served as the Royal Education Director for 8 years. A social butterfly of sorts, she’s been known to give Maxwell a run for his money, in regards to being considered the life of any party. On most days, Alyssa is typically outgoing and joyful.

Today is not one of those days.

Her flip flops were barely hanging on as she trudged across the lawn that led to the palace gardens,  thoughts of her morning crossed her mind. 

For every single birthday since marrying Drake, she would wake up to the smell of bacon, scrambled eggs, and french toast wafting through the cabin. She would lay in bed and pretend to sleep until Drake and the kids burst in with a tray full of freshly prepared foods, a hot cup of coffee, and a glass of orange juice. They would shower her with kisses and hugs, sing Happy Birthday, and then wait anxiously as Alyssa took the first bite to see if their mother approved of the time and effort they put into making her birthday morning special. When she finished, like clockwork, Drake would send the kids outside with the eldest child and give Alyssa a gift that only he could give her; one that required the skilled use of his lips, hands, and the colossus that was his … well … colossus.

Except, there were no bacon, eggs, or french toast. There were no kids jumping on the bed to wish her a happy birthday and fighting over which one hugged her first. Drake did not send the kids away when she finished her breakfast nor had she risen from the bed barely able to walk from the most mind-blowing sex she’d ever had. 

None of the things she expected happened. 

When Alyssa woke up this morning no one was home. All she found was a letter by the coffee pot from Drake, telling her the kids went with Maxwell for the day and that he would see her after work. To make things worse, her 20 attempts to call him that morning went straight to voicemail.

Drake had been working late and acting shady for months, telling her he was helping Liam take care of some horses they were preparing for next month's derby. Lately, she was beginning to wonder if there was something more he wasn’t telling her.

Now she was late for her luncheon with Riley.

As Alyssa rounded the corner that entered the gardens, she saw Riley on the patio arranging a tray of fresh fruit and sandwiches on the table. An array of metallic birthday balloons danced and bounced from the chairs with the changing breeze. Alyssa frowned with resentment towards her best friend of over 20 years. Bitch is still in her 30s.

Riley’s focus was averted when she heard the sound of rustling leaves behind her. She turned on her heels and said, “Happy 40th Birthday, Old Lady!” Her cheery voice trailed off when she caught sight of her disheveled friend. 

“Lyss? What the hell happened to you? You look like shit.”

Alyssa strode past Riley and threw her purse on the ground beside a chair before she slumped down into it.

Riley furrowed her brows with a snicker. “Bad day?”

Alyssa reached for a strawberry and dipped the entire berry, stem and all, into a dish of melted chocolate before leaving behind a trail of droplets from the dish to her mouth. As she chewed, she mewled. “Ma life if ofer!”

Riley scrunched up her face and arched back in an attempt to avoid the spittle of food that sprayed from her friend’s full mouth. She sighed heavily, grabbed a napkin, and wiped away the chunks of fruit-and-chocolate-mixed saliva that landed on her arm. “Oookaay, what’s going on? Why is your life over?”

Alyssa threw the stem on her plate and leaned forward into the table, gesticulating dramatically. “He didn’t tell me happy birthday, Ri! There was no breakfast, there was no spoiling, there was no fucking, colossus dick! There was nothing!”

“Who? Drake?”

“No, fucking Santa Clause! Of course Drake.”

Riley bit into her sandwich as Alyssa complained about Drake’s lack of attentiveness over the past few months. It wasn't the first time her friend had mentioned this to her; however, judging by how upset she was and the fact that she was dressed like a $2 hooker, she knew it was really serious now. 

Alyssa continued to point out how Drake was always working and, supposedly, was helping Liam out with the horses too. When he returned home each night, his clothes were sweaty and dirty but never smelled like horse shit. To make things worse, the sex had dwindled. Alyssa could give up a lot of things in life, but Drake's dick was not one of them.

“I know he’s cheating, Ri,” she lamented, wiping a stray tear from her cheek.

“Nooo.”

“YES! He’s found another woman … someone younger, sluttier, who hasn't popped out a bunch of kids!”

Riley scoffed. “Lyss, everyone knows Drake worships the ground you walk on. I’m sure there is a good reason why he hasn’t paid as much attention to you lately.”

“But he KNOWS I’m needy and clingy and desperate for love!” she wailed.

Riley lifted the napkin from her lap and tossed it on the table. Her friend was a hot mess -- a more than usual hot mess -- and she wanted to help. She stood and walked around the table to her grieved friend and grabbed her tiny hand. “Come on.”

Alyssa’s weepy eyes stared up at her in confusion before she let out a small sniffle. “Where are we going?”

“We are going to the stables. You said he is there today, so let's go talk to him.”

Alyssa sat back in her chair and crossed her arms. “I’m not going, Ri. He needs to come to me!”

Riley began pulling on her friend's arm, but Alyssa was not being very cooperative with her efforts. “Get your ass out of the chair, Lyss, and go get your man.”

Alyssa pulled back harder. “Get off me, you skank ass ho!”

Riley continued to tug at her, surprised there was so much strength in such a little body. “Bitch, I will drag your ass and this chair all the way to the stables!” 

“I’d like to see you try, dumbass!”

With a hard jerk from Riley, Alyssa’s chair tipped over and she landed on the ground. Her resolve never once faded. While Riley continued to tug at her arm, Alyssa reached over and grabbed her broken flip flop and began smacking vigorously back at her. 

Riley immediately let go of her and stumbled backwards. “You have gone insane!” she groaned. “I tried to help you and, if this is how you’re gonna act, leave me out of it!” She turned to walk away and glanced back quickly. “You know the way out.”

“Ri … wait.” Alyssa called out softly to her.

Riley stopped and quirked her brow with a huff. “What?”

“Can palace security take us down? You know my ass ain’t walking that far.”

Riley called for a guard to take the 30-second drive to the stables. Both girls hopped off the cart and entered the empty barn. Riley called out for members of the stable staff while Alyssa’s eyes roamed the perimeter for her husband.

“Your Majesty? Did you need something?”

Riley turned to face the man in charge as he walked around the corner wiping his hands off with an old cloth. Before she could acknowledge him, Alyssa popped in front of her, nearly knocking her over.

“Eric!! Where’s Drake?”

The Queen smiled at the stable manager. “Eric, we’re looking for Drake.”

He looked between the two women, confusion etched across his face. “Is he supposed to be here, ma’am?”

Riley looked at Alyssa, who looked like she was ready to snap at his question, then back to Eric. “Um … yes. He told Mrs. Walker here that he would be helping in the stables today.”

“Hell … I’d say its been a good --” Eric paused to calculate before turning his attention back to the women. “--three  … maybe four weeks since I last saw Walker here. Came down with King Liam to take the newest horse, Driam, out for a ride … it made me real hard ma’am”

“Hold the fuck up!” Alyssa yelled with one hand on her hip and the other covering her forehead. “He told me he has been helping out here for the last several months. Is that not true?”

Eric, realizing what is going on, backed up defensively. He could sense this was not something he wanted to be a part of. “Nope. I'm not getting in the middle of your marital woes, Ms. Alyssa.” I just want in the middle of your husbands.

Alyssa approached him and aggressively poked at his chest. “Oh, you are in so far in the middle of my woes now, Ricky boy! So drop the bros before hoes bullshit and spill what you know.”

Riley grabbed both of Alyssa's shoulders from behind and pulled her aside. “It’s not his fault, Lyss. Plus … I think Eric’s the ho in this case”

Alyssa shrugged her away and began to pace back and forth frantically. “I’m seeing sounds, Ri. I am seeing fucking sounds all over this bitch!”

“Oh God, Lyss! No!  Don’t look at the sounds ... Don’t look at the sounds” She turned her frantic friend around to face her, squeezing her arms soothingly. “Look at me.”

Alyssa’s lips quivered as she stared back at her best friend. “I’ve lost him, Ri. I’ve lost him.”

“No, you haven’t.”

Alyssa sniffled through her tears and wiped her nose on her shirt sleeve. “Can me and the kids live with you now that I’m a single mother with a cheating ass husband?”

Riley pulled her into a hug, rubbing comfortingly along her back. “Of course you can, but maybe we should talk to Liam first.”

Lyss wiped her tear-stained face on Riley's shoulder and pulled back. “Liam loves me. He won’t care if I stay with you.”

Riley smiled with a nod. “Yes, he does love you, but Drake loves you too and you know that. There has to be a good explanation for everything.”

“Then why did he lie? He’s never lied to me, Ri.”

Riley gave her friend a sympathetic frown and shrugged. “I don’t know, girl, but let’s find out”

Palace security was once again summoned to haul the girls back to the palace.

Liam was in his office taking part in a video conference with Queen Elizabeth when his door burst open.

“WHERE IS MY HUSBAND?!”

His eyes went wide as he cut them to the flash of Alyssa barging in and stopping behind him at his desk; Riley was just a step behind her. Liam’s face flushed as he looked back at the camera and apologized for the interruption.

“Alyssa, dear,” he whispered. “Now is not a good time.” He motioned to the video feed on his laptop.

Alyssa turned to the laptop with the 106-year-old Queen’s face still illuminating from it. “Turn the hearing aid down, Lizzie! Unless you know where Drake is, this conversation doesn’t concern you!”

“ALYSSA!!” Liam stood, towering over her petite frame. “Are you coming for your King?” (had to put that in there lol).

“Liam, she's had a rough day and, remember, we love Alyssa,” Riley interjected with an innocent smile.

“We do, but she can’t just barge in here while I’m working!”

Alyssa grabbed his tie and yanked him down closer to her face. “Please, just tell me you know where Drake is. He said he was working for you and he’s not. He didn’t tell me happy birthday, he didn’t make my breakfast, and he didn’t fuck my brains out this morning!”

“Oh My!”

Alyssa turned back to the laptop. “I thought I told you to turn your hearing aid down, you old coot!”

Liam’s hands covered his face in embarrassment as he fell back into his chair. 

Alyssa crouched down in front of Liam and pulled his hands from his face. “Real talk, Li. Did you or did you not ask Drake to work for you?”

He stared at her for a moment with a deer-in-the-headlights look. He knew exactly where his best friend was and what he was doing -- he had known for months -- but he couldn’t tell her that. 

Nervous, Liam knew there was one way to solve this problem. He reached over to his intercom and pressed the call button. “Bastien.”

A split second later, the door to Liam’s office opened and the head guard entered. “Your Majesty?” he said as he bowed.

“Yes, could you see Alyssa and my wife out, please.”

Exasperated with Liam's request, Alyssa stood back up and eyed Bastien with a steely glare. “I’m not afraid of this bitch! He’s the one who raised the man whore my husband became with all his hookers and shit. My children are fatherless now because of you!”

Refusing to leave, Alyssa plopped down on Liam’s lap and gripped the armrests of his chair tightly with both hands. Her bony ass caused him to yelp as it dug into the muscles of his thigh. She reached for Liam’s scotch  and took a sip before leaning down so that her face could be picked up by the camera.

“Alright, Liz, help a fellow girl out here! You have a lot of experience with a cheating ass spouse and son … should I rip his big, beautiful nuts off? Orrrr … just take it up the ass like you did?"

The Queen of England clutched her chest with an exasperated expression. "Little lady … your behavior is simply prudish and insulting. I highly suggest you learn proper etiquette when addressing me … and, as for your husband, I can see why the poor man's eyes have roamed with such an immoral and, need I dare say, crazed woman such as yourself for a wife."

"Conversation over, bitch!" Alyssa threw the rest of Liam’s drink at the screen, hoping it drenched the queen and slammed the laptop shut.

"God Dammit!" Liam yelled out while he wrapped his arms around her from behind before standing up and handing her off to his guard.

With Bastien holding Alyssa in his arms, her little legs dangling and kicking at his shins, Riley took action.

The Queen grabbed her friend's feet, which were now bare from her crumbled flip flops, and tried with all her might to pull her back.

"You’re gonna break her hip, Bastien! She's an old, feeble woman now! She could have osteoporosis or the menopause!”

Giving their best efforts to escape, including Alyssa's teeth being firmly sunk into Bastien’s upper arm, neither were able to overpower his strength. 

While carrying Alyssa and dragging Riley -- who was still holding onto her friends legs -- Bastien was able to get the two of them out of Liam's office and into the main corridor.

Alyssa followed Riley back to her quarters, where she was given a pair of flip-flops and new leggings from Riley’s 12-year-old daughter’s closet. The hole in the crotch of her leggings had completely blown out during the struggle with Bastien. There were still no answers or replies from Drake, and Alyssa was beginning to feel utterly hopeless. 

Alyssa started to raid the royal couple’s liquor cabinet, happy to swipe a bottle of Balkan vodka, when Riley had an idea. She snapped her fingers with a sly grin. “I know someone who can help us find Drake.”

“Who?” 

The ladies left the quarters and walked downstairs to the ballroom. Once inside, Alyssa took a hard swig of vodka and eyed the utility closet Riley stopped in front of with a questioning look. 

The Queen gave four quick knocks followed by two slow ones and the door unlocked. Mara had been working out of this closet for years, having been fired after a fall out with Alyssa during a costume ball that nearly got her killed. The former guard walked in there during that ball and just never came back out. Riley and Bastien were the only two people who knew about this and told no one -- Bastien purely for comical reasons and Riley for a certain skill the woman possessed.

Alyssa was surprised to find the woman hiding out there after all these years. "I thought you fired her ass! I nearly got a traumatic brain injury and hearing loss from her incompetence!" 

"Shhh!" Riley pulled her friend inside, peeking around the ballroom to ensure no one was looking, and shut the door quickly. 

Riley explained how Liam revoked her cell phone pinging privileges with the guards before the costume ball all those years ago. Apparently, he wasn't too keen on her stalking the entire cast of Friends. He did what he had to do when a restraining order from Matthew Perry came across his desk. Mara, however, was still able to ping into anyone’s phone, thus, the Queen allowed her to stay.

“That's amazing,” Alyssa remarked. She pursed her lips as she scanned the tight space of the closet. “Can she find … maybe … Dwayne Johnson?”

Riley nodded. “Bitch can find anyone.” She looked to Mara, who was sitting at her desk, and winked with approval.

“Okay,” Alyssa clapped and leaned over Mara’s shoulder. “Let’s find him … I wanna know where Drake is!”

Within several seconds, an unfamiliar address popped up on the screen. It was close to the Walker cabin but still not somewhere Alyssa knew of.

She reached for a pen and a pad of paper from Mara’s desk and started to write down the location. “I can’t believe he lied to me this whole time! I must be really stupid for him to think he could actually get away with this.” Alyssa tossed the pen back on the desk and ripped the sheet of paper off the pad. “They’re gonna write a country song about me, Ri,” she cried. “Poppa’s in the graveyard and Momma’s in the pen! I just need a shotgun and for my damn dog to run away and I’ve got a hit!”

The two snuck out of the utility closet and ran to Alyssa’s van. Alyssa pulled the ticket for double parking in handicapped spaces from her wiper blade and threw it in her glove box with the rest of her parking tickets.  Riley shoveled away the piles of empty, diet coke cans and cheese whisps bags from the passenger seat  into the parking lot when she opened her door. 

Alyssa squealed her tires as she burned rubber down the palace drive, taking out the same cone again, nearly running down Michael again, and driving straight through the lowered arm of the security gate.

“WOOOO!” Riley yelled as they sped through the streets of Cordonia into the countryside. “This is just like old times in college, huh, Lyss?”

“I suppose. We’re just not high as fuck.” Alyssa raised her eyebrows and grinned slyly with an all too familiar gleam in her eyes that Riley recognized immediately. “Say … grab my purse, Ri.”

“Oh God! I know that look. We're gonna get smashed aren't we?"  Riley extended her arm behind the driver's seat. Alyssa reached into the side pocket of her purse and pulled out the rolled up, clear baggie and tossed it to her friend.

Unrolling the bag, Riley began to bounce in her seat with anticipation of smoking weed for the first time in 15 years. The excitement quickly faded.

“Um, Lyss?”

“Hmm?”

“I know I haven’t smoked pot in a while, but this looks like a bag of carrot sticks.”

“Give me that, dumbass!” Alyssa glanced over and snatched the bag. She held the bag over the steering wheel and examined it for herself. “Well fuck!! Looks like one of my kids had a really interesting snack yesterday at school. Oh well”

After a twenty-minute drive from the palace into a forested section of Cordonia, Alyssa and Riley stopped in front of a long gravel road. Riley double-checked the address on the van’s GPS with what was written on the paper.

“It says this is it. Look’s kind of desolate,” Riley mused, not sure where the isolated road would lead.

Alyssa turned the steering wheel of her van, probably a little too tipsy to drive considering she had consumed a quarter of a bottle of vodka (that the author of this story forgot about). They made it there, nonetheless, and no one was hurt. Never drink and drive!!

Lush, plentiful trees and a wooden fence lined the gravel road that seemed to lead to nowhere until they came upon a clear view of Lake Cordonia. Drake’s truck was sitting in front of a large wooden cabin with a huge, flat yard and one of the most stunning views of the lake either woman had seen anywhere. Alyssa tried to keep it together ... until she didn’t. When she saw Drake standing on the front porch, casually drinking a beer, shirtless and wiping his forehead with his denim shirt, she skidded the van into park next to his truck. 

Drake’s eyes widened when he saw his wife get out of the van wielding an ice scraper in one hand and a tire iron in the other, a look of pure hell in her eyes. 

He took a small step back. He hadn’t seen her like this since a drunken Olivia grabbed his ass at a Beaumont Bash two years ago. Drake waved his hands in front of her defensively. “Baby girl … wh … what’s going on right now?”

“Don’t you baby girl me!” Alyssa threw the ice scraper and Drake ducked just in time as it flew over his head.

Drake had no idea what the hell she was so pissed off about, but she was approaching him quickly and twirling the tire iron in her hands. He jumped over the railing of the porch and took off running around the side of the house. As he rounded the rear corner of the home, he ran directly into Riley, who was waiting to block him. The plan was a good one -- it really was -- but her thin frame was no match against the much larger Drake. With a hard thud, Riley fell backward, which caused his body to trip over her and land face down on the ground.

Drake rolled over on his back and shook his head in an attempt to get the daze out of his frazzled brain. There she was, standing over him, holding the tire iron like a bat, ready to pounce him without a second thought.

“Baby! Please tell me what’s wrong.”

“You … you’re a cheater and a liar!”

Drake went to sit up but laid back down when Alyssa flinched the hardened steel at him. “The fuck you talking about, Lyssa?”

With months of building suspicions and hurt, Alyssa took a long, deep breath and let it all out with a wail.

“I’m talking about the late nights, the shady-as-shit lies you have spewed to me over and over again. I’m talking about you missing out on dinners, coming home and falling on the bed without a word to anyone. I’m talking about only having sex with me every other day and forgetting my birthday. Now, me and the kids have to live with Liam, who hates me now because I told Queen Elizabeth she got fucked in the ass! It’s because I’m old now, isn’t it? You wanna be a Bastien and have bunga bunga sex parties with skank ass whores who have big boobies and wear their panties around their ankles! And … I just can’t compete, Drake … I just can’t.”

Drake held his hand up to block any sudden swings in his direction. “Can I get up?”

Alyssa nodded her head before she turned away from him and dropped the tire iron to the ground. “Just tell why, dammit?” she whimpered. “Was I not enough?!”

“Not enough? NOT ENOUGH?!!” He quickly rose to his feet, twisted her around and brought her flush against his hard body. With tears in his eyes, he kissed the top of her head, his thick hands sunken into her lush, brown hair.  He was barely able to mutter a single word. He was visibly shaken and broken by her accusations and that she held those feelings about herself for so long.

With both hands now on the sides of her face, he tilted her head so that she was looking directly at him. “Alyssa!” he sobbed softly. “Don’t you dare ever say you aren’t enough for me … ever! You’re literally my whole world. In every single life, in any alternate universe … I choose you every single time. And you wanna know what I’ve been doing? Look!” He turned her around to face the house.

“This is what I’ve been doing all those months! I built it, with my bare hands, just for you, for your birthday. I wanted you to have a bigger home so you could get out of that small cabin and have the view and the yard you always dreamt of. I wasn’t cheating and I didn't forget your birthday.  I just wanted you to have everything you deserve”

Alyssa gave Drake a quizzical look. “But … you’re terrible at woodworking.”

Drake chuckled. “Maybe I love you enough I learned.”

Alyssa sunk to her knees, not to give a blow job, but realization and understanding of the last few months had set in. She stared up at the beautiful, two-story log cabin that had every bit of her husband’s heart and soul for her in it and wept. “Drake.” Her voice was raspy and full of guilt. “I’m so, so sorry.’

He crouched down behind her and wrapped his loving arms around Alyssa before placing a gentle nip at her ear. “You've nothing to be sorry for. I guess I gave you plenty of reasons to think that, but I was crunched for time and wanted to surprise you. Just hope you like it.”

“It’s magnificent … and it’s our home?”

“It's our home. Happy Birthday, Baby girl.”

Drake and Alyssa checked on Riley, who was still knocked out cold. After assisting her and giving her a moment to collect herself, Alyssa thanked her friend for all of her help and gave her the keys to the van to return home in.

Drake showed his wife around their new cabin, pointing out the lowered cabinets in the kitchen that would be easier for her to reach. He had built her a library where she could work from and read without the noise and chaos of a house full of children running around. She was thrilled over the balcony that sat just off their bedroom, overlooking the lake and featuring private jacuzzi tub where they could relax together and, of course, have sex in.

Drake took her outside and walked down to the lake, where he had  put a gazebo in overlooking the water and ushered her to the center of it. 

“Drake! This is amazing. How did you know I wanted this?”

He drew her closer to him and kissed the tip of her nose. “I know everything about you, Lyssa … there’s nothing I wouldn’t give you.”

She smiled up at him lovingly. “And I love you so much for it.”

He reached for one of her tiny hands, brought it to his chest, and wrapped his other arm around her back. With very little room between them, he kissed her lips tenderly. “Dance with me, Alyssa.”

Alyssa gave him a knowing look with a grin. “Drake Walker doesn’t like to dance.”

He began to sway with her to music that wasn’t there, but he felt it in his heart. “Drake Walker will always dance with his girl.” Kissing her once more, they began to slowly dance together and Alyssa had never felt more alive or loved in her life. He has that effect on her--always had and always will.

He spun her in a twirl and pulled her tiny body back into his own. “Ya know, Lyssa … when I first saw you, I saw love.”

Drake reached down and lifted the bottom of her sweatshirt over her head and tossed it on a nearby bench. He caressed her cheek and trailed a gentle line down her neck and across her shoulder. “And the first time you touched me, Baby Girl ...I felt love.”

His lips found that sweet spot just behind her ear before he whispered to her. “And after all this time ...”

Drake’s thumb grazed across her bottom lip before he stared into the blue eyes of his yesterday, today, and forever. “You’re still the one I love.”

What happens next? .......

change up. | lee chan

inspired by change up by seventeen and grease, yes, the movie (you’ll understand why in a second don’t you worry)

university au!

nerd!chan x class clown!y/n

-

chan spent his times in his books, in his studies, in ‘always looking in the future’. he never took a break. but towards the end of his senior year of high school, his parents wanted to reward his hard work and studious efforts. it was post-finals, he finished, he got into the university he dreamed of. 

he was free, finally.

so the trip began, his family packed their bags and the road trip to Daecheon Beach from Iksan. chan and his younger brother remained silent most of the ride, chan's brother playing on his phone, occasionally showing chan the new character he unlocked.

"you're going to fry your brain because of those games," chan scoffs, lifting his head up from reading.

"you're going to become evil because of all those scary books you read."

"then, let me."

the two brothers laugh and slowly immerse themselves into their activities and as the sun sets, the two fall into a deep sleep.

four more hours later and the sun began to warm chan's face, they have arrived.

y/n's parents allowed her to pick this year's summer family vacation, her older sister picked last year and her older brother did the year before. they've been to the us, europe, japan but she just wanted to stay home. but her family just didn't allow that so she picked the beach. 

"THE BEACH? Y/N ARE YOU KIDDING?" her sister wasn't here for that, but her brother backed her up, "hey less money spending for us then. we wouldn't need to exchange money, buy flight tickets, bla bla blah."

"exactly." y/n proud of her decision.

"alright, i guess we could go visit my hometown's beach then," y/n's dad shrugs looking at her mother, who was nodding in agreement, "ok, saving money this trip, I like it. we could stay at mom's house then," it was set.

y/n packing her bags, excited to just bathe in the sun, swim, eat her grandmother's food again, this was her trip.

the car ride was absolutely chaotic.

y/n gained the entire back seat to herself with her two older siblings stuck ripping each others' heads off in the middle seats.

"I WILL GIVE YOU TWO MY LAST TWO POCKY IF YOU SHUT UP RIGHT NOW." 

"ok bet," her brother held out his hand as his little sister handed him a strawberry pocky packet and her older sister then received her chocolate pocky.

"thank you," y/n bathes in the silence as she goes back to her drama.

the two met at y/n's grandmother's restaurant. y/n was peeling oranges as chan's family walks in, if you're offered to earn some money on vacation, you take it, y/n dropped the peeler, telling her grandma she can take this table.

chan pushed up his glasses as he looks up at the possibly cutest girl he's ever laid eyes on. she was definitely she was shorter than him, her hair held back in two braids, she kept her pen behind her ear and she looked just like how chan envisions the female characters in the classic novels he reads.

"hi welcome to kitchen by paradise, i'm y/n and i will be your server today and if you have any questions about any items on the menu, i'll be more than happy to recommend you anything! now, could i get you all anything to drink?"

chan's mom ordered water, his dad got a cola, his brother banana milk and chan didn't have a clue.

"and for you?" y/n says as she turns her attention towards chan.

"u-um. um. do-do-o you guys have any specialty drinks?"

"oh yeah! we grow our own oranges so we have a whole specialty of drinks. we have an orange-hibiscus iced tea, an orangeade, an orange-pineapple refresher and an orange mint sunrise."

"could i get the orange-pineapple one? please?"

"of course, that's my personal favorite," y/n smiles and chan could've sworn his heart melted, "i will get those ready for you guys and again, if you guys have any questions, call out for y/n!"

"thank you!" chan's parents chimed in as y/n walks away.

"channie has a crush channie has a crush." 

"i will drown you." chan glares at his little brother as his cheeks began to flush.

chan never knew he could fall so easily, i guess this is what happens when you're not focused on studying instead of girls, but this charismatic waitress got his attention.

chan watched y/n peel oranges and make the drink he had ordered, almost feeling bad because the drink looked so tedious to make. he saw the tray of drinks coming their way as she finishes pouring the yellow-orangey iced drink.

"here we go!" she places the drinks at the table, handing each drink to its rightful owner, "so are we ready to order?"

y/n took everyone's orders and y/n couldn't help but giggle at this nerdy guy stuttering ordering his seafood bibibimbap.

he's cute i can't deny it.

"alright let me repeat your guys' order and i'll send this to the kitchen!"

-

chan's family finished their meals and had left while y/n was on her break, disappointing chan, so he jumped to this opportunity. his 18 y/o heart couldn't believe himself that he left his number for this cute waitress he just met, i mean she probably is a local here and i'm here for the next two weeks.

y/n couldn't believe either. she smiled that that dorky kid thought she was cute, so she saved his number, texting him around sunset.

to orange boy: hey! this is y/n!

to server girl: hi! i'm chan i can't believe you actually saved my number ha

to orange boy: i just had to thank the guy who called me cute and also thinks my favorite drink is good because its our least popular haha

to server girl: thats surprising its rly good omg

to orange boy: so are you free tomorrow?

to server girl: i think my family is just hanging out tmr why?

to orange boy: my grandma is sending me to the market tomorrow to pick up some ingredients and i know you're here for vacation and i know im just a stranger but idk want to explore the coast tmr?

chan couldn't believe it, in his 18 years of his life, he is being asked to go out. with a girl. and she isn't trying to steal his study book.

y/n couldn't believe herself, she just asked a stranger to go out with her.

to server girl: i'm down wanna pick me up?

to orange boy: tmr 12pm i'll bring us lunch 

to server girl: sounds like a plan, so whats your favorite color?

the two spent all night getting to know each other, learning they're the same age, chan was older by a month and a half, y/n's favorite color is every color and said some picasso joke making chan laugh in his hotel room. they both felt like they've known each other for years.

the next day came and y/n packed her backpack and her scooter for the day, writing down the list her grandmother has told her the night before and then sending a text to chan for his address.

"I'M TAKING THE SCOOTER!" y/n yells as she runs down the stairs, "TEXT ME IF YOU NEED ME!"

her family all replying as they hear her leave.

as she makes it to the garage, she ensures she brings the second helmet.

this is a vacation. the wind blowing in her hair as she follows the directions to chan's hotel. her dark blue scooter shimmering in the sunlight and she arrives in front of chan's hotel, rich kid huh?

to orange boy: outside by the lobby!!

chan was already in the lobby for the past ten minutes, didn't want to look like a complete weirdo and come out right when she texted so he waited for a good minutes before walking out. he was wanted to be casual, didn't want to screw anything up with her.

"hey! chan over here!" he walked out seeing the pretty girl from the restaurant on a blue electric scooter? taking off her helmet waving her hand around. he smiled and waved back as he walked towards her.

"this is tomi, my trusty stead," she smiles proudly at her scooter making chan stifle a laugh, leading y/n to laugh at his poor hiding of a laugh, "this is yours, hop on!"

"did not expect this to be the start of my day," he laughs as he puts on the helmet, he gets on the back of the scooter and before y/n turns on the scooter, she grabs chan's arms and to his surprise, wraps them around her stomach, "we're going fast so i don't want you falling off," she turns and smiles at him. what am i feeling right now? butterflies swarm around the two teenagers' stomachs, falling in love before they've even gone out.

"oh o-ok."

and they were off. 

y/n parked the scooter in her usual spot, the noise of the market sang to her and before getting off, she introduces the market, "welcome to daecheon market where old men try to peddle tourists and where local teenagers find the best clothes AND one stand has the BEST fruit produce." 

"y/n i think i should just call you fruit girl because you seem very enthusiastic about them," chan smirks

"i dare you to, orange boy."

"alright fruit girl."

the two laugh as they barely even notice chan's arms are still around y/n, y/n begins to take off her helmet right before she bumps chan in the face with her helmet.

"OH MY GOD! i am so sorry chan oh my god im sorry oh my god i-"

"y/n its ok really," chan laughs at her worried look, "i'm all good no bleeding see?"

"alright im still super sorry i kind of forgot i had a passanger with me," she nervously laughs, im such an idiot what is wrong w me wtf y/n

chan hops off and helps y/n down, "thank you, sir," y/n bows.

"you are very welcome madam," chan bows back, leading them both to laugh once more because of their dorkiness.

"here hold this," y/n opens the scooter compartment and hands chan a camera, "thats my prized possession, keep it safe." she pretends to glare at him but ending up laughing anyways, "you're on picture duty and i am on food duty," y/n pulls out a picnic basket and a large water bottle, "before we explore lets eat!"

y/n leads chan down to a secluded area next to the market, "my siblings and i love coming down here and eating lunch and playing ball. its our secret hideout, and you are a new member of paradise cove, mr chan."

"i'm honored," chan couldn't believe how comfortable he felt around her, a stranger that he had a very long text conversation last night about their favorite colors and whether or not aliens exist. y/n couldn't believe either. why did she feel so bubbly around a kid she met on the job at her grandmother's restaurant?

chan helped her put out a small picnic blanket from the basket and y/n began to pull out the food, “so i remembered your order from the other day and grandma pulled through and made some more this morning and a special touch, an orange-pineapple refresher. dig in!”

-

their picnic was nothing but boring, time passed so quickly while they talked more about the city and high school and where they want to go for univerity, and what they want to be. a convesation nether of the two have had with another human being. they both took some pictures while they were at it, y/n always doing some silly pose when chan had the camera and chan always looking away from the camera. they were comfortable with one another. 

“so, let’s explore the market shall we?” chan standing up, offering his hand to her, she was hesistant at first, “come on y/n i don’t bite,” he laughs, looking away. feeling odd with  his hand out for so long, he looks back at her smiling this time, “i’m feeling a cramp coming on”

standing up, she grabs his hand and pulls him close to her, both of their faces flushed now. y/n had NO idea what she was doing, “can i?” she looked at his lips and then back up at his eyes, prepare for any reaction

“yes,” once y/n heard his answer, his hand caressed the side of y/n’s face and pressed their lips together, almost melting into the kiss. y/n felt her cheeks burn up, the kiss lasted a few seconds but felt like an eternity. pulling away, the two laughed with their eyes closed and foreheads pressed against each other, “so the market?” y/n slowly opened her eyes, seeing the flustered boy in front of her interlocking their hands together.

“i thought you were the romantic,” he smiles back.

-

two spent nearly everyday together. y/n told chan she didn’t live in daecheong, they both knew they were both on vacation and the day one of them was leaving was soon appoarching them. “what will you do without me?” “cry.” “shut up chan” “you asked i answered~!”

chan didn’t want to believe but neither did y/n. their two weeks was up, y/n helped chan pack. “are you really going to cry?” “y/n you’re my first kiss, my first love, my first crush, the first girl that actually has gotten my attention so what do you think?” “now, you’re going to make me cry.” she pouts “y/n you have my number, i have my license, you have a kickass scooter. we have ways to still see each other even if that means our universities are miles apart, we can do this.”

-

to orange boy: i miss you

they couldn’t do it. the long distance lasted about a month and then school started.

to server girl: i’m sorry

chan was at yonsei university and back to his old ways. head in the books, no partying no social interaction just studying. this physical therapy major wasn’t moving an inch.

now, what chan didn’t know was y/n was ALSO at yonsei. this visual arts major was the biggest party animal on campus. she ruled frat parties and she was a good students. her professors loved her and her charm.

- ten months later -

HALLOWEEN

“CHAN! you have to come dude!” chan’s roommate, xuxi, begs him. xuxi was the polar opposite of chan, same age same major COMPLETELY different social class.

“no ‘xi for the last time, i’m not a party guy.”

“chan please dude, its a costume party, nobody will know its you.” chan began to consider it, when was the last time i had fun?

“what are you dressing up as?”  “i’m going to be capt. american because im going as the avengers with mark and the other guys. if you don’t want to be recognized then wear a mask, be a masquarade ball dude? idk wear a suit and a mask, be that DUDE”

“i’m in.” here we go lee chan

to server girl: finally going out with the boys for the first time hope you’re well i miss you

y/n read the text almost immediately, “i wonder where he’s going?”

“who?” y/n’s roommate jungeun asled as she’s doing her makeup.

“some summer fling, he just texted me after like three months.”

“he’s more than a summer fling hon if you saw his text so fast.”

“shut up”

“kiss me,” jungeun stuck her tongue out at her, “so what are you dressing up as y/n?”

“poision ivy, mark said they’re going to be the avengers and so i’m showing him up and being dc’s sexiest villian.”

“you’re such a heartbreaker miss y/n let the boy breathe, he may have cheated but-”

“but nothing! he treated me like a one night stand and i wanted more! im going all out!”

-

chan looked at himself one more time in the mirror and xuxi walked behind him in his captain america outfit, “my son you look so fucking good,” pretending to tear up

“shut up,” chan rolled my eyes, sitting back down on his bunk, “should i still go?”

“YES! you look good dude! can’t even recognize you, you look so different and the contacts? you’re really hiding your identity with this one channie.”

“this is the only night we get to be other people so,” he puts on his lacey masquarade mask he bought from target, ‘let’s go.”

xuxi wraps his arm around him, “LETS FUCKING GO!”

-

“MISS Y/N YOU DID THAT HONEY!”

jungeun and y/n nearly in shock of how well this costume curves around her body.

“green is your color girl,” jungeun sighs, “you knock them dead baby.”

“you look amazing yourself j OMG ms daphne over here.”

“I’m finding my fred tonight ok?” she smiles as she ties her scarf around her neck.

y/n places her red mask on, “i’m heading out!”

“HANG ON!” y/n was practically out the door before jungeon runs out, “ok ready.”

“let’s go fuck shit up.”

-

the party was everything chan was not used to, drinking, loud music, people EVERYWHERE, you could say he was slightly overwhelmed. 

you could say he also wasn't used to the attention around him, girls coming up to ask if they wanna hook up or take a shot with him which he declined all of them until she walked in.

ms poison ivy walked in.

it was about 30 minutes after the party started and y/n walked in like she owned the place, jungeon next to her, y/n walked in red heels and green latex in its full glory.

"i'll go get us drinks!" jungeon pracatically screams in y/n's ear.

"OK!" now alone, chan saw this as an opportunity, still not knowing who that was or even who he was in this moment he walked up to her.

"hi!" y/n was drawn back but the handsome stranger in front of her

"HI!"

"I THINK YOU LOOK REALLY PRETTY!"

"THANK YOU! I THINK YOU LOOK PRETTY HOT YOURSELF! LET ME GUESS, a VAMPIRE?"

the music got increasingly louder as this conversation went on so chan yelled back, "NOT EXACTLY, IM A MASQUERADE BALL HOST"

y/n felt eyes beaming her up and down and she saw him, mark, and before he could come any closer, y/n kissed this handsome stranger in front of him.

chan had no idea what was going on but he really didn't care anymore, this kiss began to be a full makeout session in the middle of the dance floor.

"IM SORRY BUT DO YOU WANT TO GET OUT OF HERE?"

"YEAH I DO ACTUALLY"

 both of them walk out of the loud frat house, "so who do i owe this honor to mr masquerade man?"

"chan, i'm chan. how about you?"

"i'm sorry did you say c-chan?"

y/n hasn't heard that name in what feels like ages until today.

"yes? is something wrong?"

was it really him?

"no its just i knew someone named chan awhile back, ha." she sadly smiled.

it can't be him chan was never this bold.

"ah i see, how about you ms poison ivy?"

"y/n"

"y/n huh?"

"yes, what about it?

"do you still have that blue scooter?" chan takes off his mask and turns to face the girl he's been wondering about for so long.

"c-chan?"

"long time no see huh?"

"i-i-i didn't even recognize you? where're your glasses? did you get your braces off too? your hair's lighter, you look really good, chan," she sighs in disbelief.

"college does stuff to you i guess," he nervously rubs the nape of his neck, "and you? wow. i didn't think someone could look so gorgeous in latex." he smiles all goofy.

"chan."

"y/n?"

pulling herself into his chest, "i've missed you, im sorry for being an asshole, im sorry for saying those things i shouldve held on im sorry im-"

"nothing is your fault y/n, look at me," he pulls her out of his chest, "i'm here now! we just needed time i guess," he lets out a small laugh.

"now you're the jokester mr lee."

"lets restart. hi im chan."

"hi im y/n," she smiles and takes his hand in hers, "lets never leave again."

"yes ms poison ivy."

“never call me that again.”

op oc #3: APRIL

im baaaaaaack

u are about to read about my prime DAUGHTER april. the rogue princess. a real pokemon! hahahhahaha she nabbed herself the AURA AURA FRUIT yo this is wild so get ready to learn about ol’ blue eyes!!!!!!!!!!

NAME: april (i dont have a surname for her i cant think of anything and ive had her for 8 years im sorry) EPITHET: “aura shooter” ooOOoOOoOoo AGE: 18 (pre) 20 (post) BIRTHDAY: april (incredible would u have ever guessed) 5th!!!  BIRTHPLACE: nimbasa island in the south blue SEX: female HEIGHT: 5′6″ WEIGHT: 122lbs HAIR COLOR: sandy brown EYE COLOR: blue APPEARANCE: before she escaped her home, she wore an icy blue dress underneath a navy blue cloak and her hair down with a CROWN of course but she hated wearing it a lot. her hair when worn down reaches the middle of her biceps. after she escaped she ONLY wore her hair in a ponytail and she always wore a red bandanna with a white arch atop her head at all times!! it was a gift from her mamma the QUEEN herself. she also wore a white t-shirt with red triangles bordering the collar and the ends of her sleeves. does that make sense? i sure hope. she wore a red sash around her waist and then she popped on some black pants and boots. real piratey. also some of her hair kinda pops out in the front so theres a good chunk that sometimes covers her left side. look at u go princess. AFTER the timeskip she cut her hair so it reaches just above her shoulders, and instead of wearing her hair up and with the bandanna, she wears it down but with a black headband. her bandanna is tied around her left bicep (fashion inspo: zoro). she wears a green sleeveless crop top, and theres a scar that reaches from the back of her shoulder to the end of her collarbone. she earned that shit from her wild timeskip training. oof. shes ok. she wears light-washed pants and some addidas-lookin shoes lmao she also wears a rly loose belt too. also she has gold earrings and thas about it. her eyes are round and just v pretty and blue. her nose turns up at the end just a tad bit and it’s so cute she’s so cute. she has a dimple on the right side of her mouth. her mommas face :’) shes fairly skinny but after the timeskip she gained some muscles made 4 punching douchecanoes  REPRESENTATIVE SMELL: vanilla FAVE FOOD: pasta FAVE DRINK: lemonade  FAVE SEASON: fall REPRESENTATIVE NATIONALITY: australian BOUNTY: initial bounty was 60,000,000 (for being runaway royalty) but after dressrosa she SKRTED up to 155,000,000 DEVIL FRUIT: aura aura fruit a paramecia type. the fruit allows the user to manipulate their energy. with the aura aura fruit, users are able to detect the aura of others, repel the aura of others, and project their own. the power of aura is mood-sensitive and can change a lot. can u believe april is lucario 6 forms of aura: red is physical nature, orange is intelligence, yellow is sheer willpower, green is healing, blue is emotion, vioilet(i THINK) is mental communication. i forgot what i wrote down for the aura types lmaoooo the biggest drawback of this fruit is that the user can only use a limited amount at one time. another drawback is that they cant manipulate other people’s aura??? it’s rly hard to explain this but trust me it makes sense when it’s put into action i promise SKILLS SET: most of her attacks are used with red aura since it relates to physical nature. wild. “aura bullet” is just shootin aura goodbye. i love pokemon. lmao. uh “aura detect” is when she can see what someone else’s aura looks like, so basically she can determine if someone is a bastard or not before they even open their mouth. “aura clone” clones herself with aura and that takes a LOT of effort to pull this one off especially when she wants to use multiple clones. “aura bomb” yo this one is wild she uses it for diversions and escaping since it kinda acts as a smoke bomb but when she uses this thing in battle OOOOH BOY. “starstorm” ok this is like the “im going to die after i do this move” kinda thing. it combines all the damn types of aura and it just RAINS down on ppl. goodbye april. anyways there are more basic moves but i dont rly wanna get too into that rn im sorry PROFESSION: runaway princess lol CREW: straw hat pirates  PERSONALITY: an easygoing girl. v mellow for the most part but there are times where she can get pretty goofy (thanks jack). if the wrong buttons are pushed, she becomes a HURRICANE. she does have confidence issues but since she met luffy, she’s really started to overcome them. shes got a horrible habit of being sarcastic and also she asks a LOT of questions holy SHIT honey. she is TERRIFIED of heights so when franky lays down a good ol coup de burst, her soul leaves her body. g o o d b y e. she was very cold when she first met luffy and the gang bc she lived with the person who killed her mom AND jack left sooooo she was a little bitter. eventually she learned to rly live with the mugiwaras. when she first joined the crew, she was very shy and timid and tried hard to fit in. she was SO intimidated by zoro like he genuinely scared the fuck out of her so she always tried hard to not be a Fool around him but once she got comfortable with everyone she just had a good ol time. “hey grassy ass!! :))” “can u fucking not call me that”. she has the CUTEST laugh oh me oh my. honestly just a rly passionate gal, she just wants to be strong and be able to protect her pals. refuses outside help. bros out with luffy and usopp and chopper sometimes but also judges them from afar like nami does. it all just depends on the day. truly. i once wrote a series of one-shots where each one was an adventure that april had with one other straw hat. luffy was the first one, and THAT was wild. zoro’s was fucking baller. so on and so forth. rly shows off her dynamic with each member. april? shes honestly just a good person and im proud of her bc she works so hard  LIKES: training, traveling, every single animal ever, reading DISLIKES: heights, the marines, the heat, people who walk horrifically slow in crowded places WEAPON(S): aside from her devil fruit shes got a dagger she sometimes uses. jack gave one to her right before he left HISTORY: OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO king jed and queen serena had a baby girl. APRIL. that made her the princess. anyways she grew up as any princess would--spoiled. however the spoiling never got to her head bc serena was so good about teaching her things like that. serena was a goddess i love her pls come back. serena was wildly popular with the citizens of the kingdom bc of her caring and friendly personality. she would always take april into the kingdom every day and pay visits to the citizens. out of all the citizens they paid visits to, the most common faces she saw were those of the solo family. cain was jed’s most talented and trusted knight. he and his wife celeste had 2 kids: jack and sho YO. jack was 7 yrs older than sho and 3 yrs older than april. april and jack became fast friends and often explored the kingdom together. regular kid stuff u know. jack’s mom was always like “jack NO u CANNOT take the PRINCESS to the farms thats FILTY” hahahah but they went anyway.  jed? a dark man. idk who hurt him or what made him so murderous. but. he was tired of serena treating the citizens like equals. he believed that royalty should be viewed as gods.  when april was 8 jed killed serena oh god there it is theres the tragic anime mom death. as soon as serena died, the dynamic of the kingdom instantly changed. soon after jed took total control, people began leaving the island. eventually, the island became so empty that only a handful of families remained. jed did not allow april to leave the castle at all, and with that rule, it damaged the friendship that she and jack had. ofc around that time jack’s dad ran off as well so he stopped tryin to visit her for a bit. but then once he got back into his groove hed sneak all about, avoiding the night patrols, and hed just sit outside of april’s window and talk to her.  when april was 11 she discovered a devil fruit hidden away in the trashed artifacts that belonged to her mother. she ate the devil fruit and was like “now im strong, fight me JED” but lol she got her ass whooped poor bby when april was 16 jack left the island, leaving her completely and utterly alone. the exposure to such loneliness began to change april into a more reserved, bitter person.  2 yrs later the STRAW HATS stumbled upon the island. at that time april had started a habit of sneaking out of the castle to roam the empty streets of nimbasa, but during one of her strolls, she encountered robin, franky, and brook. she ended up knocking them unconscious bc she felt threatened. the second group she met consisted of zoro, chopper, and sanji. they had been captured by guards and were brought into the throne room to be interrogated by jed. april was required to be there as well so she kinda sat in her throne and looked mad the entire time. sanji was like “NO WHY DOES SHE LOOK SO MAD SHE NEEDS TO BE HAPPY” and zoro was like “ive never seen someone so happy to see my face” and chopper was just having a crisis bc they were abt to be tossed into the shadow realm at the hands of the king. zoro got mouthy and jed didnt have none of that shit so he told april to kill zoro but she just knocked him out instead. that pissed jed off. THE NEXT person she met was luffy. she only met luffy bc he infiltrated a banquet thing by sitting underneath a cart. classic luffy. she didnt meet nami and usopp until WAAAAY later. yadda yadda yadda shit goes down (i wrote a whole arc for this. it’s called the princess and the pirates lmao original but yes i wrote an entire arc for her recruitment and it’s A Lot) ANYWAYS luffy asked her to join the crew but she declined at first bc she thought pirates were just like her father: power-hungry and murderous. however that obv changed when she was exposed to the straw hats more when luffy defeated jed who ate the ___ ___ fruit (tbh i forgot what fruit he ate im sorry) she KNEW she belonged with the straw hats. :’) she still be sailin with the legends. shes had some wild times obv. her arc comes a bit after thriller bark. woopie!!!!!!! like always, lemme know if u wanna know more about her!!!

The Union: The Business Behind Getting High (2007) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rwkFmvIg4CU

Grass: The History Of Marijuana [Full Documentary] https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dH4w-6tllhQ

A Chart That Shows the War on Drugs Isn’t Working http://www.thewire.com/national/2012/10/chart-says-war-drugs-isnt-working/57913/

Why Cannabis is Illegal and Medical Marijuana Laws are Not real freedom

1) Most people have very little knowledge of the plant and are therefore irrationally scared of it. Only about 10 – 15 % of people actually use cannabis so those who don’t haven’t cared about the rights of others enough to change these hypocritical, tyrannical unjust laws for DECADES ! And those hypocrites who oppose cannabis freedom do nothing to make the destructive hard drug alcohol illegal and neither prescription drugs and tobacco products.

Graphic: This Ranking of the 10 Most Harmful Drugs May Surprise You

Some drugs classified as highly dangerous are less harmful than alcohol or tobacco

https://www.economist.com/graphic-detail/2019/06/25/what-is-the-most-dangerous-drug

2) They like to lock people up and have an easy reason to do so scarrring people’s records with misdemeanors and felonies trying to make life harder for people.

Police arrest more people for marijuana use than for all violent crimes — combined https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/wonk/wp/2016/10/12/police-arrest-more-people-for-marijuana-use-than-for-all-violent-crimes-combined/

There are many serial killers, rapists and thieves out there but cops spend most of their time trying to stop people from using plants.

Imagine if the gov used their time, effort & resources from targeting the cannabis community to targeting actual terrorists.

56% of Republicans Oppose Cannabis Freedom http://reset.me/study/study-majority-of-americans-say-marijuana-use-should-be-legal/

5 Reasons Why Conservatives Should Support Marijuana Legalization https://www.civilized.life/conservatives-should-support-marijuana-1725033497.html

Nixon Aide Reportedly Admitted Drug War Was Meant To Target Black People http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/nixon-drug-war-racist_us_56f16a0ae4b03a640a6bbda1

The black/white marijuana arrest gap, in nine charts https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/wonk/wp/2013/06/04/the-blackwhite-marijuana-arrest-gap-in-nine-charts/

When Republicans hear stats that show that black Americans are arrested for marijuana far more frequently than whites that makes them support cannabis prohibition even more. The GOP supports Trump mainly because they share a hatred of minorities.

Black defendants receive longer prison terms from Republican-appointed judges, study finds https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/wonk/wp/2018/05/23/black-defendants-receive-longer-prison-terms-from-republican-appointed-judges-study-finds/?utm_term=.c23d960d519c

64% of Republicans, 55% of Democrats and 49% of political independents harbor prejudice against blacks. https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/politics/2012/10/27/poll-black-prejudice-america/1662067/

The most racist places in America, according to Google https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/wonk/wp/2015/04/28/the-most-racist-places-in-america-according-to-google/?tid=pm_business_pop_b

3) Evil people don’t want the masses to have the medical benefits of cannabis and its cannabinoids and to be healthy.

4) Cannabis hemp provides an alternative via bio fuels, plastics and many other products therefore reducing the need for crude oil and creating competition to petroleum products.

5) Prohibition produces an underground monopoly on cannabis providing higher prices, bigger profits, and fewer competition to the cartels that sell it.

Anti-Mafia Prosecutor: Legalizing Cannabis Would Help Defeat Terrorism http://www.activistpost.com/2016/04/anti-mafia-prosecutor-legalizing-cannabis-would-help-defeat-terrorism.html

6) Prohibition provides big business for private prisons, lawyers, attorneys, police, judges, politicians, etc. Evil swindlers enforcing evil unjust laws.

5 Entities Still Fighting Against Marijuana Legalization Despite The Changing Tide http://reset.me/story/5-entities-still-fighting-against-marijuana-legalization/

7) Medical Marijuana Laws are Not real freedom. It is Fake Freedom and it creates another form of monopoly through money made on yearly doctor visit fees and cannabis card license renewals. They also limit who can sell it and where, sometimes making people travel long distances to purchase some grand cannabis bud. Also, making someone ask permission and pay money for a natural God-given right to grow and use cannabis is wrong and Un-American. George Washington, Thomas Jefferson and many others grew acres of cannabis. Would these people SWAT team their houses, harm their families, kill their dogs, and take them to prison today ?

8) The CIA sells drugs to fund Black Ops https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2W75JBgClSU

God has given us Every Plant bearing seed and Every Tree, he causeth the grass to grow for the cattle and the herb for the service of man.

Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful. Forgive and you will be forgiven.

It’s time for people to stop being afraid of plants.

End the Tyranny and Oppression !

End the Hypocrisy !

Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness !

People must be free to grow cannabis with no restrictions like any other plant.

Enough with Babylon’s swindler laws and tactics !

Legalize Cannabis Freedom !

De-schedule Cannabis !

Cannabis promotes neurogenesis and produces antidepressant-like effects. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/16224541 http://www.bluelight.org/vb/threads/644148-Cannabinoids-promote-neurogenesis-produce-anxiolytic-and-antidepressant-like-effect

United States of America Cannabis Patents http://unitedpatientsgroup.com/united-states-of-america-cannabis-patents/

Treating or Preventing Diabetes with Cannabidiol http://www.cannabisinternational.org/info/CBD-Prevention-Diabetes.pdf

CBD and THC are Neuroprotective Antioxidants http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC20965/

Cannabinoids and Neurogenesis http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/20565726

Neuroprotective Antioxidants from Marijuana https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/10863546

Want to get the most out of cannabis? 9 reasons why it’s time to grow your own. http://greenflowermedia.com/article/9-reasons-to-grow-your-own-cannabis/

Here Are 5 Reasons You Should Have The Right To Grow At Home https://www.civilized.life/marijuana-home-grow-right-1595672235.html

420: It’s Time To Get Involved in the Legalization Movement http://blog.norml.org/2016/04/20/420-its-time-to-get-involved-in-the-legalization-movement/

Regulate alcohol like marijuana? Alcohol consumers wouldn’t put up with this sort of over-regulation for a second. http://www.boulderweekly.com/features/regulate-alcohol-like-marijuana/

The Growing Acceptance of Marijuana Smoking in Society http://blog.norml.org/2016/04/18/the-growing-acceptance-of-marijuana-smoking-in-society/

God said, “Behold, I have given you every plant yielding seed, and every tree

Genesis 1:29-31

He causeth the grass to grow for the cattle, and herb for the service of man

Psalm 104:14

Better is a dinner of herbs where love is than a fattened ox and hatred with it.

Proverbs 15:17

From a Christian perspective in Genesis 1:29 God said, “I give you every seed-bearing plant on the face of the whole earth and every tree that has fruit with seed in it. They will be yours for food.”

So the government and people who support cannabis prohibition are stealing our food from God and are therefore thieves, kidnappers, hypocrite neurotoxin alcohol promoters and swindlers.

No USA state has true cannabis freedom because the most they can grow without swindler laws of making people pay for a license is 6 plants.

Limiting people to just 6 plants and making them pay money for permission to grow more is Un-American !

Jesus of Nazareth calls out the Hypocrite Scribes and Pharisees (Matthew 23) Hypocrites All !!! Blind Guides !!! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mD–lHALcm0

The Christian case for drug law reform https://www.tribtalk.org/2015/03/02/the-christian-case-for-drug-law-reform/

I’m A Seminary Student & I Believe God Wants Marijuana Legalized https://www.bustle.com/articles/63347-im-a-seminary-student-i-believe-god-wants-marijuana-legalized-as-much-as-you-do

Chart of the Week: 100,000+ Workers Employed By Marijuana Companies http://mjbizdaily.com/chart-week-100000-workers-employed-cannabis-companies/

For a country that overwhelmingly touts freedom there’s not much of it to be found. http://www.fitsnews.com/2016/05/13/states-of-pot-taxation/

We’re Seeing The Surest Signs The War On Weed Is Finally Going Up In Smoke http://dailycaller.com/2016/07/23/were-seeing-the-surest-signs-the-war-on-weed-is-finally-going-up-in-smoke/

It’s time for the No Fun League to get out of the pot-policing business http://www.cbssports.com/nfl/news/its-time-for-the-no-fun-league-to-get-out-of-the-pot-policing-business/

Cannabis is the Swiss army knife of plants. 1st necessity to the wealth & protection of the country for independence & self sufficiency.

Everything plastic can be made from nontoxic and biodegradable hemp.

Cannabis prohibition has contributed to the plastic pollution of the ocean.

Cannabis freedom can help end deforestation, plastic pollution, fracking, dependence on fossil fuels and much more.

What if Cannabis and Hemp Had Never Been Prohibited? http://www.wakingtimes.com/2016/03/21/what-if-cannabis-and-hemp-never-prohibited/

The biggest drug dealers on planet earth are the alcohol companies.

The “buzz” feeling from alcohol is your brain being destroyed on contact.

People who sell the neurotoxin alcohol at their businesses and oppose cannabis freedom should stop being hypocrites.

Trump is against legalizing cannabis recreationally but sure isn’t against selling the neurotoxin alcohol recreationally at his hotels.

If you don’t think people should be fined for possessing alcohol then you shouldn’t think people should be fined for possessing cannabis.

When Republicans say they support states’ rights on cannabis that really just means that they support states that keep cannabis illegal.

Cannabis freedom saves many people from alcohol abuse and prescription drugs by giving people a safer alternative.

Cannabis prohibition eliminates the meaning of private property rights.

If they treated alcohol users and dealers the way they treat the cannabis community people would realize how much tyranny there is.

Cops are thieves in uniform.

The cannabis community deserves equal rights and justice !

It’s time for the cannabis community to be set free from all the restrictive swindler laws of Babylon that are keeping the prices high.

88% of America hasn't legalized cannabis to where you have the freedom to grow even just a few plants without a license.

WA doesn't let you grow cannabis without a license and they don't let people grow in NV who live within 25 miles of a dispensary.

2017 and people are still so afraid of plants that you can't even grow them outside where they are supposed to grow in nature.

Cannabis Community Music http://ropevilleraider.tumblr.com/post/140691490938/three-6-mafia-where-is-da-bud

If cannabis prohibitionists were consistent with their beliefs they would make the neurotoxin alcohol illegal.

http://ropevilleraider.tumblr.com/post/156415297963/neurotoxin-alcohol

Arguments against cannabis can be made more justifiably against the neurotoxin alcohol.

Alcohol vs Cannabis http://ropevilleraider.tumblr.com/post/156415453348/alcohol-vs-cannabis

The only reason alcohol is legal is because it is an ancient drug that many people use and are familiar with not because it is good for you.

How is it that killing a baby in an abortion is legal but simply growing cannabis plants is illegal ?

Capitalism is better than communism but if capitalism is so good why was it so easy for the banking cartel to take over capitalist countries ?

Capitalism is better than communism but if capitalism is so good why don’t people have the freedom to grow cannabis on their own property ?

The real crime is funneling people to drink the neurotoxin alcohol and away from cannabinoids that are antioxidants and neuroprotectants.

The founding fathers grew acres of cannabis,  do you really think they didn’t intend to protect that right in the constitution ?

George Washington and Thomas Jefferson grew acres of cannabis yet for decades people thought it was ok to have no cannabis freedom at all.

George Washington grew cannabis at all 5 of his farms yet most people today are scared to grow more than 6 plants.

George Washington and Thomas Jefferson grew acres of cannabis yearly, they can’t do that with AUMA.

With CCHI they can at least grow 99 plants.

What better exemplifies true American freedom ?

CCHI 99 Plants Home Cultivation

or

AUMA 6 Plants Home Cultivation

Unpopular drug laws reduce people’s respect for laws and law enforcement.

How the War on Drugs Has Caused More Harm Than Good http://articles.mercola.com/sites/articles/archive/2016/04/07/war-on-drugs-opioids.aspx

Harvard Economist on why marijuana should be legalized https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ti3QAlKx10c

Ex-Top Cop Says Legalize It ! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AgXutdgronY

Retired Police Captain demolishes the War on Drugs https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W8yYJ_oV6xk

Law Enforcement Against Prohibition ( www.LEAP.cc ) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LayaGk0TMDc

Barrry Cooper Gives Speech For ABC’s 20/20 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YYpt_H6g_44

Anti-Drug people are not really against drugs until they recognize that the neurotoxin alcohol is a hard drug.

It angers me that people are extremely afraid of cannabis plants yet are accepting of the neurotoxin alcohol, prostitution porn, abortion etc

In time cannabis prohibition will be looked upon like segregation is today.

Cannabis is safer than alcohol.

Alcohol is a neurotoxin that causes cancer and destroys the brain.

Your body converts alcohol into acetaldehyde, a potent carcinogen.

Cannabis is the opposite of alcohol.

Cannabis has cannabinoids that are antioxidants and neuroprotectants that kill cancer and promote neurogenesis.

For 40+ years they promoted brain damage and cancer with alcohol and treated the cannabis community badly for choosing a safer alternative.

The fact that cannabis isn’t descheduled yet and the neurotoxin alcohol isn’t even scheduled and is advertised everywhere shows their madness and hypocrisy.

People drink alcohol which causes cancer, then pay to try to cure cancer, then ban cannabis which has many studies on killing many cancers.

Some people don’t like cannabis but just because you can’t handle the V8 doesn’t mean you should ban the V8.

If people are so afraid of cannabis why aren’t these hypocrites trying to make alcohol and tobacco illegal ?

Cannabis prohibition is tyranny and oppression.

Thinking alcohol is ok and cannabis is not is like thinking the world is flat when it is round.

Antioxidant and Neuroprotectant rich Cannabis is listed as a schedule 1 drug while the poison alcohol and tobacco are not even scheduled.

They dump fluoride in your water, inject your kids with mercury in vaccines and feed you GMOs but act like cannabis is the one that is bad.

Alcohol destroys and creates holes in the brain And causes cancer yet is still Legal worldwide.

These hypocrites erode their brains with alcohol but then still go out and treat the cannabis community badly with fines and jail time.

Land of the Free but they don’t have the Freedom to grow cannabis which is far safer and better than alcohol.

Home of the Brave but they are afraid of Cannabis Plants.

If alcohol was still illegal today would you want it to be legalized or just decriminalized ?

A black market marijuana industry is less safe than a legal industry that earns tax revenue for the state.

Take Action To Help Legalize Cannabis Freedom !

http://norml.org/act http://www.mpp.org/federal

Alcohol is a factor in more violent crimes like rape and murder than any other drug but they will never ban and keep it illegal because it’s white people’s drug of choice.

How can they act like they are tough on crime and drugs when they literally promote and advertise the neurotoxin alcohol, one of the hardest drugs there is, to everybody and their kids at every sporting event and on many TV channels ?

They have no problems bothering people and locking people up for growing and using a safe plant like cannabis for 40+ years though because only about 10-15% of people use cannabis.

If they were blind they would be without sin but since they say we see and only the neurotoxin alcohol, tobacco and prescription drugs are ok their sin remains.

They themselves suffer from their own hypocritical decisions because studies have shown that the neurotoxin alcohol not only destroys the brain and causes permanent brain damage but also causes at least 7 types of cancer including breast cancer and studies have shown that cannabis has cannabinoids that are Neuroprotective Antioxidants that kills many types of cancer, promotes neurogenesis and has antidepressant effects.

It would be wise to Deschedule cannabis immediately.

http://ropevilleraider.tumblr.com/post/156415187503/cannabis-and-neurogenesis

Alcohol Drinking = Brain Damage, Cancer and a Beer Belly.

Alcohol drinking is a destructive culture because it’s a neurotoxin that destroys the brain and is involved in 40% of all violent crimes.

Are the big holes in people’s brains that the neurotoxin alcohol causes the type of medical standard the @DEAHQ and @US_FDA are looking for?

They should research and schedule the neurotoxin alcohol if they are really so concerned about health.

It boggles my mind that people are so accepting of the neurotoxin alcohol and fearful of the much safer cannabis.

Non-violent drug users do not belong in violent gang run jails and prisons.

America is supposed to lead the world in freedom not be just like Russia and China.

When the NFL has their girly month when they dress their players in pink to supposedly fight cancer remember that they sell alcohol which is a neurotoxin that causes many cancers.

Your body converts alcohol into acetaldehyde, a potent carcinogen. Alcohol causes seven forms of cancer, even among people who don’t drink much. Alcohol causes cancer of the oropharynx, larynx, esophagus, liver, colon, rectum and breast.

Also remember that there are many studies that show that cannabis kills many forms of cancer.

People deserve Real Cannabis Freedom not Babylon Swindler Tyranny.

Prohibitionists are afraid of plants yet guzzle neurotoxins like alcohol.

Neurotoxins like alcohol and fluoride cause cancer.

Plants have anti-cancer properties.

Avoid all neurotoxins and benefit from plants.

Scientific studies show that CBD and THC work best in combination and potentiate each other’s therapeutic effects.

Cannabis boosts brain cell growth, reduces anxiety and has antidepressant effects.

You call out looking for cannabis freedom in the East and South and all you get is the sound of crickets and a tumble weed passing by.

The problem with government is that they care only about money, power and control, not about people’s rights.

Russia and the entire world needs to Legalize Cannabis Freedom to counter their heavy drinking of the neurotoxin alcohol.

To be self sufficient you need a beneficial plant with multiple uses like cannabis.

Cannabis Freedom allows people to live with abundance because of its many uses.

George Washington grew cannabis at all 5 of his farms and wanted it grown everywhere, yet most people today are scared to grow more than 6 plants.

Thomas Jefferson once said “The greatest service which can be rendered any country is to add a useful plant to its culture” and “Hemp is of first necessity to the wealth & protection of the country”.

25 Things You Didn’t Know Could Be Made from Hemp https://www.learngreenflower.com/articles/196/25-things-you-didn-t-know-could-be-made-from-hemp

Seriously it’s 2017 why are people afraid of cannabis plants and destroy their brains with the neurotoxin alcohol ?

Scientifically cannabis beats alcohol every time.

Imagine if the @DEAHQ actually focused all of their resources on the most harmful drugs instead of benign cannabis.

Congress Should Legalize Cannabis http://www.cnn.com/2014/11/19/opinion/miron-marijuana-legalization/

Cannabis Hemp: how one little Plant could Boost America's Economy https://www.theguardian.com/society/2017/feb/04/hemp-plant-that-could-boost-americas-economy

GOP and old people are the only groups left that oppose cannabis freedom. If you are a Republican and support reform talk to them.

Only 15% of people use cannabis so we need all the help we can get to legalize it. If you have many followers please help out.

Equal rights & justice for the cannabis community. Set at liberty those who are oppressed. Legalize Cannabis Freedom !

Legalize Cannabis Freedom ! http://ropevilleraider.tumblr.com/post/136775346643/the-real-gateway-drug-is-100-legal

Avoid all neurotoxins and benefit from plants. http://ropevilleraider.tumblr.com/post/140752731283/nutrition

01/02/1989...2017

Happy birthday. First I did pretty good eating. lots of water. I ate too much at my dads but besides then I ate well. tomorrow is the first weigh in of 2017 and we shall see what the beginning of my year will look like. Some lady on fb is offering some 21 days fix stuff and coaching and workout videos. idk if I should do it. its $200. I have tops to keep me accountable. I have this blog to talk to. I wouldn't mind getting the cups but I don't know if that's something I could keep up. Also, I have had a pain in my side all night. im starting to be afraid to eat. I don't know whats going on with my gi. its messing with me though.

I want to talk about parenting and being a single mom. Its soooo hard. today was hard. we all slept in. it was nice. Owen was awake first and we got some snuggle time in. Natalie woke up and I went to make breakfast. maybe I make too much complicated things. I like adding veggies whenever possible. Natalie likes scrambled eggs, green peppers and spinach. I made an omelet. neither of the kids ate it. it makes me so made because cooking takes time away from them with me. I have to clean the dishes, cut the veggies, cook the food, get their plates ready, get drinks, get them situated to eat and then no one buy me eats. its so much effort and no one appreciates it. I want my kids to be healthy, I want them to know how to eat healthy food and how to cook. I want to get Natalie in the kitchen with me but she needs to watch owen. maybe when we move well have a more open floor plan and that will be better, plus she always burns her damn self. its frustrating. they did eat the fruit I gave them. maybe simple is just the way to do it. stop being soooo wrapped up. I was throwing all my food into the steamer. it was messy though. kept boiling over. but maybe simple things like that or crock pot meals are just the way its going to have to go. once they didn't eat, Natalie got blueberries all over the couch. im starting to contemplating eating in the kitchen over the concrete floor. less mess, less distraction. ill try to move the dryer and see what happens. we need to eat as a family. im just so burned out by the time dinner comes I just want to zone out and not think. its so hard doing this all alone. at least if there were another person around half of everything could be taken on by them. I can handle one, two is so hard. Just saying this for now, I like shawn. I know he wants kids one day. what if that happens. what if I have another baby, that was never in the plans ever. what if I give in, what if we don't work out, what if im alone again, with 3 kids now. Idk if I can handle it. that's a scary thought. I think about it daily since getting someone serious with him. Jodie tells me not to think about it but these are the issues that break people apart. not wanting the same things. he would be such a good day though. he likes kids, he is a big kid. hes gentle. I think it would be fun to be pregnant with his kid. he did say something at his house about it when I took my birthcontrol, like he was testing the waters to see what my future plans were. I guess I haven't told him anything. im not very forth coming about things. I let him talk. ill ask him questions for days about himself but he never really comes back. maybe tomorrow well play 20 questions. I want him to know more about me and I want to see what hes interested in knowing about me. he prolly has no idea he barely knows me at all. and fucking andy. he came over yesterday and made me cry. everytime he comes over he digs into things im not ready to talk about and makes me cry. I cry a lot with him. its weird. I said without realizing it that it was the anniversary of me and josh starting our relationship. 8 years ago. I realized last night I have been paying for that kiss ever since. start to finish it has been a very painful relationship. but once I said it the memory of our first kiss and how I felt flooded back and made me cry. then andy said he doesn't think im as miserable as I put off here. that upset me because I guess I hadn't said it to myself how unhappy I am here. I think about it but I haven't made it real yet. I fucking hate my life. I hate where I live, I hate where my kid goes to school, im starting to hate my job, I hate my loneliness, I hate money, my diet, my body, my stress, my craziness, my need for male attention, my past, my future, I hate it all and I need to change it but its soo hard with kids and no money and no one to help. maybe it was his way of trying to keep me here. idk. I don't want to stay but I have no where to go. I envy people who just pick up and leave. those people don't have kids and if they do someone is with them.

Back to parenting, I need to set goals for myself . eating in the kitchen away from the tv is going to help. im scared to make Natalie eat more than she wants to because I don't want to force her to be an overeater. but I hate when she doesn't want to eat and 30 mins later says shes hungry. Eat in the kitchen, if she doesn't eat, her food will be placed in the fridge until the next meal and she will eat that if she is hungry. I need to hide the candy and offer healthier desserts. tonight she had a small bag of m&ms and a cup of blackberries. I have to know what im doing is working. owen and her eat their fruits. veggies are a maybe. I just have to calm down. accept the dirty house, the millions of dishes and mounds of laundry. they are not going away. maybe one load a day of laundry. and put away dishes one day, wash the other. its hard to be motivated daily, having people over helps I guess. its prolly the only reason my house looks half way decent. shawn might come Wednesday night. ill be mad dashing again. and I should make him dinner. we need to keep our money for the future. lol.

tomorrow is Tuesday. my goal is to clean eat for 4 straight days. today I had coffee with no milk. I can deal with that. it wasn't horrible. no cappuccino at work. black coffee stevia and water is it. lime and cucumbers should go in. the cuc needs to be used. maybe a drop of peppermint in my coffee. hmm. maybe a small container of oatmeal for breakfast. and a chicken wrap hummus and lots of cut up veggies for lunch. dinner.....steamed fish. kids can have spaghetti. I can do it.