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#GUYS IM SO NERVOUS HELP
satansxknitwear · 1 year
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Still swingin' 🌻😎
✨My links✨
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zwoftt · 7 days
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i am so stressed out about ep95 uhhhh
hoping for a comfort scene between orym and dorian after the big ordeal. i can only imagine orym’s probably still very shaken up about it and stuff, (maybe a little bit mad that neither fearne or dorian *immediately* sided with him; especially from his lines of “would anyone like to tell her why it’s so important to me?” because both fearne and dorian both know why specifically and didn’t respond?? idk). LITERALLY I JUST WANT DORIAN TO WALK OVER AND COMFORT THE SHIT OUT OF ORYM.
that would help a lot with this pain and suffering
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sluckythewizard · 1 month
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BUT IM NOT A WRITER. something strange possessed me to write my first proper fanfic in maybe a decade. be niceys to me but also grill me so i can get stronger. this one is a stupidly self indulgent bit between Soda and Emizel, a day or so after emizel was sired. CW for gore descriptions, but thats about it i think. image below is a snippet of the start. the rest of the whole dang thing will be under the cut. ive never posted fanfic ever in my life. read my tags for secret behind da scenes commentary
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"Oh shit… I think hes dead…" It was another night, another patrol, another fight, and another win, for Emizel and Soda.
Under moonlight, under street light, under interwoven wires above, the two stood here in a quiet and damp alleyway. The air was drenched with the smell of a previous rain, and the puddles of said storm remain huddled in corners and pot holes.
One splashed as soda found himself stepping forwards into one. The residual adrenaline of the fight had left his body shaking, his heart still pounding, his wounds still throbbing. They had still won; or more-so, Emizel had won. A particularly nasty blow to the side had Soda reduced to the side lines for most of the fight, left to watch as his newly vampiric comrade had absolutely eviscerated the competition.
Emizel had only been turned a day ago, but it was impossible not to notice how it had changed him. He already acted so goddamn confident, so on top of the world, and this newfound power, newfound speed and strength, only built upon his insane ego.
The Fangs that they encountered here on this night stood no fucking chance. Emizel was too quick, too strong, and he easily chased off the rivals. It was only now, as the final unfortunate opponent had turned to flee, a clean clock in the jaw sent the human tumbling to the ground with a dull thump, and it did not move afterward.
Soda shifts his shoe out of the puddle, the cold seeping into his sock being one of the few things keeping his mind in his body in the moment. Is the guy breathing?
A low laugh bleeds from Emizel as he stretches his arms, licking his sharpened teeth as he stares off in the direction the remaining Fangs went. Soda knew that look on his face, the look of a tiger pondering on its next kill, he knew well that Emizel wanted to chase them.
But the guy on the ground.. It was one punch to the face, and the wicked crack sound that came from it had planted a seeding dread within Sodas chest.
As he steps forward, around the puddle, the resulting sound made Emizels attention click back over to Soda, the snap of his gaze making Soda flinch.
The two lock eyes, and Soda weakly gestures to the limp body on the floor. "The uh.. I think.. Is that guy dead?" He finally asks, having a hard time keeping contact with Emizels intensely red eyes.
Emizel turns his attention to said body, tilting his head as he goes to kick at the thing, turning it over. "Man no way hes dead, I punched him once." He mutters.
"Well, yeah, but his head almost twisted all the way around when you did.." Soda steps up to stand beside Emizel, the two boys standing with their hands in their pockets, down at this unfortunate, limp body.
"Should we hide it?" Soda asks, glancing back over at Emizel, who had.. An odd look on his face. He was clearly pondering something, but Soda could only guess whatever was going on in that brilliant head of his. He knew and trusted that Emizel was smart. If anyone could figure out what to do about this, it would be him.
But the lack of an answer had anxiety chewing at the back of Sodas rib cage, and after a second, he speaks up again, compelled to fill what he perceived as a tense silence. "Like.. I dunno, I've never uh... killed a guy..." He shrugs, prompting Emizel to let out a big sigh.
"He's not dead man, just out fuckin cold." Emizel kneels down next to the body, putting an ear up to its chest, and pondering on that for a moment. An uncertainty twists his expression, as he decides to instead place a hand on the victims throat, checking for a pulse. A moment passes, and seemingly finding nothing, he pulls back.
"Uh... Okay, so he might be dead."
Something about the confirmation from Emizel made a shiver run up Sodas spine. That, or maybe it was just the breeze agitating the cold water in his shoe.
"Huh… Damn.." Was all that Soda could really get to leave his mouth. Which was hardly a splash compared to the torrent that was slowly churning in his head. They just killed a guy. Or, Emizel just killed a guy. And it was so easy. They had to hide the body now, right? That was the usual progression here? Getting caught for murder was way more extreme than getting caught for breaking mailboxes with soda cans. It was so, so disturbingly easy. It really was just one punch. It's not like the Fangs are weak by any means, so just one punch? And this guy is dead? Forever?
Or, perhaps by human means, their rivals were fairly tough. But Emizel was on a whole other level. No mortal could stand up to him now...
"Hey, are you okay?"
The question had pulled Soda back from his head, his gaze flicking back over to Emizel, who was looking up at him with those eerie, piercing red eyes. Soda felt another shiver.
"Uh, ieah man, I'm all good." Soda nods, swallowing down whatever anxiety was bubbling up in his throat.
But Emizel didn't seem satisfied by his answer, standing back up and staring down his human comrade. Soda couldn't meet his eyes, his gaze instead traveling downward, and pausing on Emizels red, cut-up shirt. There was something off about the color, the way it seemed darker in some spots, brighter in others.. Wait, wasn't Emizel wearing a white shirt before all this?
The vampire boy seems to pick up on Sodas expression, following his eyes down to his shirt. "Oh, yeah! While you were on the floor, the knife guy got me a little" He says, a stupidly simple smile on his face. Soda was about to let out a laugh at how unbothered his friend seemed by it, but it gets caught in his throat when Emizel goes to pull his shirt up.
The sound of the bloodied fabric peeling away from skin made Sodas own skin crawl, but that wasn't nearly as bad as the sight of the intense gash running from his collar bone, down to his stomach.
"Oh, fuck dude!" Soda gasps, but Emizel laughs it off. Even despite knowing Emizel well, Soda was still surprised by just how much Emizel could shrug off. "Shit, doesn't that hurt, dude?"
"Oh yeah this fucking hurts!" he says with a laugh, his smile big and toothy and proud as he presents this egregious wound. Swollen and angry, pulsing with a slow heartbeat, and still oozing with thick, dark blood.
The sight of the split flesh, and the glints of bone beneath the dark, dark red all tugged at Sodas gag reflex, and yet he couldn't pull his eyes away. So Emizel's just been walking and talking so normally this whole time with his chest just cleaved wide open? Soda felt just as impressed as he felt horrified.
It wasn't until Emizel reaches down to poke at the abhorrent wound that Soda snaps out of it. Watching his friend press his fingers into the bloodied flesh, and slowly pulling it apart, allowing more ichor to seep from the gash, it was too much to watch at this point.
Soda reaches up to put a hand on Emizels wrist, the vampire boy stopping, and looking up at his friend.
Soda found himself freezing again when he locks eyes with Emizel. He was going to say something now, right? "U-uhm.." Is all he really chokes out, giving Emizels wrist a gentle tug. "D-do you. Uh. I suppose a hospital Isn't a place you can go anymore..?"
Emizel just smirks at that, letting Soda pull his hand away from the wound. "Oh, yeah no, but it's fine. I mean, I don't think it's gonna kill me" He shrugs. It was so, so impressive just how unphased Emizel was by all this. Fuck he's actually so cool.
"Well yeah man but it's like, still a bleeding hole. Like you're soaked in blood dude, I'm pretty sure that even a vampire needs that stuff on like, the inside." Soda rubs the back of his head, still unnerved by the sight of it all. "Vampires have like, super healing, don't they?"
"Oh yeah like, regeneration powers. I know I heal faster sometimes but I dunno how to just, activate it on command.." Emizel hums, his eyes narrowing down at his own injury, as if trying to will it into mending. Soda looks away, unable to watch that vile gash ooze any longer.
"I dunno man, how do they do it in like, video games?" Soda tosses the question out, trying to click together some sort of solution in his own head.
"Uhhh.. Huh, video games.." Emizel repeats to himself, chewing on the thought while idly poking at the laceration; until an idea audibly flickers to life in his head. "Oh, I just gotta refill my blood meter. Or whatever."
"Oooh yeah, blood meter!" Soda perks up, "Of course, see this is why you're the brains, man" Soda smiles, glancing back over to his cool friend, but immediately needing to look away again when the sight of that egregious gash tugs bile back into his throat.
While Soda averts his eyes, Emizels eyes wander back over to the body, and that classic 'Emizel has a bad idea' smile creeps across his face.
"Well, if this guys dead, I'm sure he's not gonna need all that blood.." He grins, kneeling down next to the body again.
The word 'wait' had hardly gotten the chance to crawl from Sodas mouth, before Emizel lifts up the arm of the unfortunate body, pulling the sleeve back, and immediately sinking his teeth into the exposed wrist.
The sound and the sight of blood gushing around Emizels teeth made Soda cringe, his hand impulsively coming up to aide his own wrist. An empathetic phantom pain made his wrist ache, his imagination simulating the feeling of shark teeth cutting into skin, sinking deep into the flesh, and clacking against bone. That was a lot of blood, that was streaming down the arm of this fodder.
A low growl bleeds from Emizel as he adjusts his teeth, cutting into more flesh, opening the wound further, and allowing a pulsing torrent of red to stream down his chin, onto his coat. It was an annoying thing, to clean blood out of clothing. Most of the Demons deemed it easier to just let the stains remain. But the night that Emizels throat was torn open, and liters upon liters were granted freedom from his human form, the unbelievable mess had practically changed half the color of Emizels iconic coat.
That was the first time Soda had ever seen that much blood from one person. And well. This would probably be the second.
The sight was unnerving, but it was impossible to look away. The alley was quiet, save for the distant bustle of a distant city, which made the noisy squish and squelch of teeth gnawing on flesh all the more apparent and nauseating.
Emizel had become a monster for sure, and watching it feed on something was… thrilling, in a way. It reminded Soda of feeding a pet spider, or lizard. A mouse for a snake.
It's a heavy thing to witness, the end of a human life. The fear of death is a primal thing, and Soda was no different from any other living thing. He figured everyone else feared death just as much as he does. Well, maybe except for Emizel, of course.
It made sense. Emizel was such a cocky and noisy kind of guy, but hes always had the power to back it up. Even when he lost, or seemed at his lowest, Soda still saw this sort of fire in him, one that Soda admired.
Of course Emizel would be the one to become something like a vampire. Something that Soda had always figured was just a fantasy creature thing. He wondered; if vampires were real, what else was real? Werewolves? Zombies? Unicorns? Are there real demons? Like from hell? Is hell real? Is he going to hell?
The sudden ttteeeeaaaaarrrr of flesh rips soda from his wandering thoughts. Emizel was tugging his head away from the arm of his kill, his teeth clamped down into the chewed meat, and pulling it apart. Soda had seldom seen so much of the inside of a human arm, and the sight of spilling threads and squirming veins was hardly something he ever wanted to stomach again.
"Oh fuck, dude, hey-" Soda steps forward, raising a hand, but the way Emizel snaps his head back over to him, twisting to an unnatural degree, Soda cant help jolting back.
Reddened teeth glint menacingly in the low light, a threatening growl thundering from its clenched, dripping jaws. Emizels eyes were focused, yet wild, glowing with whatever light they could reflect.
Sodas eyes were wide, and his body was frozen in the thick, electric tension within the air. It was like staring down an angry dog.. Suddenly a light bulb in his head flickers to life. It was kind of like an angry dog, right? One hunched over a meal it didn't want to give up. Memories of old encounters and unfortunate dog bites resurface in Sodas head, and with that experience, and with those lessons learned, he gathers the courage to react.
He shuts his eyes, keeping them closed for a few seconds, as he slowly pulls back his arm, and slowly steps back. It was an eye contact thing, wasn't it? Eye contact makes dogs angry, right? That was how you dealt with an angry dog? As he pulls back, and takes in a breath for composure, he finally dares to peek at the angry vampire before him again.
Its snarling had died down, but its eyes were still trained intently on Soda. After a tense, and agonizingly, slow pause... It blinks back, lowering its head back down to its meal, but keeping its anxious stare on this potential threat.
A relieved sigh falls from soda as the tension finally melts. He didnt realize he was holding in so much of his breath. "O-okay, man.. It's yours, you uh.. Earned it.." Soda mutters, stepping back further, until he was standing in a sufficiently dry enough space to sit down in. Now that he wasn't standing, he was finally taking into mind just how much his hands were shaking.
It's odd. Soda couldn't really describe this feeling thrumming in his chest as something like fear.. Nausea? For sure. Disturbed and rattled? Oh absolutely. This was certainly a sight he would have a hard time scrubbing from his eyelids when he sleeps tonight. But he wasn't scared. The memory of the night that Emizel was sired still coated the inside of his mind like an unwashable film. Even in that moment, when the unnatural teeth from the unnatural maw of an unnatural thing hovered over his throat, he couldn't say with confidence that he was scared.
Emizel really is his best friend in the world. And he knows with his whole heart that Emizel feels the same. He knew and trusted that his best friend would never hurt him. Not too badly at least. He loves Emizel, and would give anything to support him.
Like a mouse to a snake.
This really is an incredible power that his comrade had come across, and Soda especially felt a sort of pride in his friend. He felt it was worth it to help him feed it.
The bile in his throat had made its point, and Soda agreed, that watching someone die, and get torn apart and drained might be too much for him. Despite how much he hated the Fangs, the end of any human life seemed like such a jarring thing. To have such an intense fear finally get confronted. Would he go to hell?
Maybe he couldn't just feed people to his friend. So an alternative could be donated blood, right? Soda wouldn't mind giving up something like blood. His body makes it for free, after all. Maybe some other Demons would agree to give up some blood too. But they shouldn't have to take on such a burden. Soda wouldn't mind being the only one. The only one. The only one.
His hand comes up to rub at his neck, as his imagination conjures up what it might feel like to have teeth sink into his flesh. He's been stabbed before, is that sort of what it would feel like? Would he have to get stitches? He didn't really want to get stitches, so maybe there could be a more effective way to get the blood out of him. And there was so much vital stuff in his neck too. There's' a vein that's safe to cut into somewhere, right? He would have to look that up later.
A STARTLING RINGING;
Splits the moment,
Prompting both Soda and Emizel to jolt in shock,
As the phone in Emizels pocket rings away.
Acting as if nothing abnormal had taken place, Emizel pulls out his phone, and answers it.
"Heyy, Johnny! Yeah we chased em off, I don't think those bastards will be infesting this street again anytime soon. Yeah, ieah we'll be heading back soon. Oh fuck yeah dude, save us some!"
Emizel covers the speaker of his Nokia, turning back to Soda with a big smile on his violently bloodied face. "They got some pizza waiting for us back home, dude!" he whispers out to him.
Soda does his best to crack a smile, and to suppress the look of unease that probably stained his face, as he stares at the literal murder scene that's been splattered about in front of him.
"Oh, yeah, hell yeah man.." He swallows down the bile again. "What kind of uh.. Soda did they get?"
Emizel ponders that, before turning back to the phone to ask Sodas question.
"Sprite and a big pack of that one strawberry mountain dew" Emizel tosses the answer back over to Soda, who gives a nod, and thumbs up.
Mountain dew is so neat, Soda really liked all the wacky flavors those guys come up with. The thought of going home and opening a can of soda was certainly a comfort. After witnessing all this blood and gore and viscera, Soda absolutely needed to get back home and get a nice cold glass of something bright red .
As Sodas mind wanders off to soda, Emizel wraps up the conversation on the phone, before hanging up, and standing up.
The movement had pulled Sodas mind back into the moment, enough for him to timidly voice a concern he's had since the start of this debacle.
"Uh, hey, so.. The body, should we… Uh.." He gestures vaguely to it, and Emizel grants it a nonchalant glance.
"Eh, I can toss it into a dumpster or something, I dunno. I'm sure its fine. I'll handle it."
The vampire boy goes to pick up the corpse, the wound in its mangled arm no longer even dripping with blood, the flesh pale from the absolute absence of red in its veins.
"Go ahead and meet me by that one mailbox, the one with the bullet hole in it." Emizel casually instructs, tossing the drained body over his shoulder. "I'll catch up."
"Uh, yeah, okay.." Soda musters up a nod, and the strength to rise back up to his feet, wincing as that bruise on his side makes itself loudly known again. He still felt anxious, but even despite it all, he knew he could trust Emizel to take care of things. He always does. "Just stay safe man, I'll see you there." Soda assures with a smile, and Emizel matches it, tossing him a wink. And then suddenly- -He's gone! If Soda had blinked he would've missed it, but he was fortunate enough to just barely catch the glimpse of Emizel darting off at an inhuman speed, probably looking for a place to dump the body. Right, he would take care of it. Emizel always makes sure his crew is taken care of. Well... Guess all that's left for Soda is for him to walk back to that meeting spot. He looks around the alley for a moment, taking in the sight of that enormous pool of blood in the middle of the concrete. Or whatever the floor of this alley is made from. He ponders on the present moment a little longer than he meant to, the shock of it all leaving him aimless for just a few, soothing moments of just, decompression. The night is quiet, vast, and cold, but the stresses of just the past 5 hours had left his body radiating with fiery aches and pains, so the chill of the occasional clawing breeze was welcomed. Except for when said breeze agitated the cold water still soaked into his sock. He should step in another puddle on his way back to even it out. The smell of rain still rested heavy in the air, heralding another storm on the horizon. There was that, and then, well, there was also the blood. The stench of it felt far too intense to just ignore it, the metallic miasma making itself maliciously unmistakable. Maybe the impending storm will wash this mess away... He looked forward to putting this unfortunate night behind him. With one last rattled, but deep breath, he stuffs his hands in his pockets, and turns away, strolling back over to the mailbox that Emizel had described.
He couldn't wait to get home and drink some soda with his friends.
#NO TAGS ON THIS ONE BC WELL. IM SHY. IM TAKING A BIG LEAP JUST BY ALLOWING U TO REBLOG THIS. IF IT BREAKS CONTAINMENT THATS UR FAULT.#i unfortunately suffer from the disease of 'i hate everything i write the day after i write it' BUT IM GETTING TREATED#I WILL NOT BE HAUNTED BY THIS WEAKNESS FOREVER. AND HEY LOOK THIS IS THE FIRST ACTUAL FIC BIT IVE EVER FINISHED..#ITS SOMETHING TO BE PROUD OF!! AND BY JOBE I WILL BE PROUD EVEN IF I HATE IT.#i dont always need to be the one who likes my art bc i know Someone out there will always enjoy it.#and to that someone i say: omg thankyou i LOOOOVEE YOUUUUUU!!!!!#JUST DELETED A WHOLE RAMBLE I JUST HAD ABT NERVOUS DISCLAIMERS FOR MY ART BUT I DONT NEED EM!!#GET CONFIDENT GET CONFIDENT GET CONFIDENT. ANYWAY. so emizel and soda huh#THEYRE SO CUTE TOGEEHTERRRR TEEHEHEHEHEEEE they are the homies that kiss eachother goodnight like CMON#but uhh so hey your bestest friend in da world just got turned into a freaky creature thing that eats ppl#ieah yknowthe guy that u care about alot that u had to watch get bled out by another freaky creature thing in an alleyway#yeaaah and you were super hurt and weak and stupid and u couldnt do jack nor shit to help him#what was i talking about again. RIGHT so hes even cooler now bc he cant die n hes super strong n his arms can be knives. sometimes.#but also he can eat people now. and sometimes he cant stop himself from eating people. and thats kinda scary. but in a cool way.#but also in a disturbing way. but also in an interesting way?but also in a freaky way.the feelings ARE MIXED!!!ATLEAST I THINK THEY WOULD B#okay again i havnt listened to the suckening ina bit. so its been a minute since i absorbed their personalities. i could be misreading or#misremembering or misconstruing or mischaracterizing or WHATEVER. i think the confusion carries its intended effect#LOSING MY TRAIN O THOUGHT. anyway i love soda n emizel i hope they get locked in a saw trap together or somethign. for enrichment.#TALOS GRANT ME THE STRENGHT TO POST MY CREATIONS ON LINE!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUGHHH!!!!!!!
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caramel-mocha-latte · 10 months
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Hi hello!!! Sorry for the lack of posts recently, I've just been dealing with some pretty bad depression
And uhhh! I am currently unable to afford meds rn so I'm just gonna...
points at my $5 headshot commissions again
and even link my cashapp. Only $3 extra for a tiny on your shoulder now for my commissions! No charge for having a big hand patting your head or something cause it's actually easier to add than a tiny for me lol
https://ko-fi.com/mocha_latte/commissions
https://cash.app/$Astakoi
So uh.. if any of you want anything/just want to help me out, yeah I'd appreciate it a bunch!
Gonna try to get back into posting more art :> and do a few artfight things before the month ends
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staneetrashee · 2 months
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CHAT HOW DO I TALK TO BOYS HE'S SO CUTE AND IM SO NERVOUS TO EVEN EXIST IN THE SAME SPACE AS HIM BUT HE'S MY ROOMMATE ANYWAY HE'S REALLY PRETTY AND I DONT WANT HIM TO HATE ME CHAT HOW DO I TALK TO BOYS.
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impishmaverick · 1 year
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somethings happening in my little mind (autism lair)
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im even attempting an animation right now!
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obey-me-headquarters · 10 months
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I feel like, as a group who likes A/B/O, haven't embraced the Sigma as a valid dynamic in our omegaverse fanfic.
And I feel like that's a real shame! We should reclaim this sexist term and put it into our smutty fanfic!
So I volunteer myself as a sacrifice and will journey into Sigma male spaces to learn:
1) what a Sigma even is
2) How a Sigma is supposed to behave
3) What their role is in the A/B/O hierarchy
And once I have gotten all of that, I will write Sigma!Reader X Omega!Character fanfic in the hopes that it will inspire others to do the same, and that the role will become apart of Omegaverse.
Anyway, if yall have any Sigma headcanons I would LOVE to hear them!! How do you think a Sigma behaves? Do they have ruts? Are their scents stronger than Alphas or Omegas?
If you know other people that have written Sigma headcanons or have Sigma posts, I would LOVE to see them!!
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toytulini · 6 months
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terfs go climb into a hole and start rotting. animals cannot inherently tell your "biological sex" you are all so fucking stupid. All this post is saying is that animals are not infallible judges of character and some of them make really stupid vibe checks and that people should try not to take it personally. Unless youre a terf in which case they know and they hate you and you should take it personally
re that one post tbh i do want to stress i dont think animals are like magically psychic at knowing your True Gender tbh i think ppl definitely get way too weird about Animal's judgement of ppl.
Sometimes a dog will vibe check a man and the dog will be right and you should listen. but sometimes the dog will vibe check someone for no good reason. sometimes dogs have wack judgement. sometimes dogs have biases influenced by their owners or previous owners. like. there are Racist Dogs. its not the dogs fault, but that doesnt make the bias theyve developed less real, or less potentially hurtful. i dont think we need to like, Cancel Dogs Bc Sometimes Ppl Can Train Them To Be Racist, but we do need to stop perpetuating the idea that a dog's judgement of someone is infallible. theyre not responsible for it and its not their fault its developed, theyre just dogs, they didnt choose it, but that doesnt mean theyre RIGHT lmao. i think its important to stress this for many reasons but in regard to that last post specifically, if youve ever been vibe checked as a gender you arent by a judgy dog its literally not your fault. might not even be the owners fault. not the dogs fault cos like. its a fucking dog. you do kinda have to be the bigger person in that scenario cos the other person is. A Dog.
#toy txt post#this was meant to be a quick post it got a bit longer and more in depth than i planned oops#i just hate when ppl act like All Dogs have Inherently Correct Judgement Of People#like from every angle. its funny to joke about but i know theres ppl out there who might be feeling like#very fragile in their gender or smth and seeing a post like that if they meet a dog that normally hates men but not women but it doesnt#recognize your inherent true gender im sure seeing shit like that post can be a horr#got interrupted by a phone call while typing it and the post is glitching so i cant see where that tag is cut off so uh#dogs are like ppl in that they can develop biases and have bad judgement and they dont always get it right#they are not like ppl in that it is not possible to ask a dog to examine its biases. you cannot make a dog take a class on#critical race theory. you have to work to socialize and desensitize them against those biases or at least make sure those biases theyve#developed dont negatively impact ppl. in this sense i guess im morally obligated to try to learn more spanish to see if it helps my dog#chill. shes nervous around all new ppl but parents have anecdotally noted she extra dislikes men speaking in spanish. she was a stray so we#dont really know her history. she also does Not like fire pokers outside. weirdly even tho its basically the same tool she is unfazed by#the indoor poker for the woodstove? but ig she wouldve had less exposure to indoor woodstoves as a stray in Louisiana?#but i can see like ppl having a little backyard barbecue and threatening the big mastiff looking stray dog with a fire poker and i think#that region of the country prolly has a higher number of spanish speaking ppl than our current residence so the odds of her running into a#spanish speaking guy who isnt very nice are prolly higher just due to a denser population as a whole. and we think shes part mastiff which#i think is a breed already prone to disliking strangers that probably cooked up into a little cocktail in her brain#luckily shes bad enough with All Strangers that i think honestly it would be hard to even notice her bias? but. ig i need to see if i can#desensitize her? idk. sighs but im scared to open duolingo now 😭. but i could maybe do it. when other ppl wear hats she fucking hates it#i wear a fucking face covering mask that looks like a giant eyeball she looks at me a little quizzically but is fine. jester hat? fine#i am like that video of the person desensitizing that horse except thats just like. living w me. minus the cat thing. id never do that to#the cats or dog. everyone would hate that. squirrel already cant tolerate being held while a dog is out cos he THINKS im going to do that.#it would traumatize the dog cos he'd injure me escaping and then prolly her trying to scare her off to get past her and shes just minding#her business. solo i cant hold that long but is less likely to injure anyone. shadow. first of all all 3 are way too heavy to be holding#like that#im getting lost in the tags again sorry im chewing caffeinated gum. i should go try to buy some catnip#ive made my Phone Calls. im gonna try to go get dressed and buy various catnip products. maybe lure him with a toy this time. need my#parents to help me but not be so visibly Ready to help me next time cos i do not want to chase his ass again...
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tomaturtles · 1 year
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I rotated Sparky really hard in my mind in a desperate attempt to free him from the oc freezer. anyway he’s Lilly’s Just Some Guy neighbor
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myriadsystem · 1 month
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#personal#i have doctors appt today with a new doctor its literally not even a real appointment i just need some stupid forms signed#but guys im so stressed im so scared ive already cried once about it today i just. i fucking hate doctors so so much#theyre all so bad. im not in the mood to be dismissed again today and its 15 goddamn degrees so everything feels bigger and worse than it is#if they dont sign the form i dont get paid any more and if i dont get paid i cant continue to try and sort out my medical#which means i continue to not get paid and im just. so scared. so so fucking scared i dont even care if we find the start if the path#to vetter my health i dont care about gettinf better right now i just need this fucking form signed but#ive already been dismissised for it once and i have new doctor jitters. what do you mean i have to tell someone new that#i have ptsd and anxiety and depression and fibro and alleged bpd but its probably autism actually and hope#hope and prey they losten to me because its other doctors that have told me this and im definitely computer illiterate i couldntve come up#with all this on my own i promise ive done zero research into my own symptoms i live with every day im a simpleton im an idiot#please believe me dr refer me to ypur colleagues for further testing but in the mwan time sign the one form i need please#im so scared. i dont know what to do. my tarot says to tryst myself and find my own authority about the situation#but like literally legally i cant i have to rely on the hope this new doctor gives her signature or i dont get fucking paid as stated#i hate this i feel so shaky and nervous and nauseous and awful 😮‍💨#and im supposed to do groceries today. im at the very end of my shopping like if i dont go get food today#then i dont eat tonight but its cold and rainy and im super stressed abt the appointment so idk if ill be able to go shopping after#i dont wanna die anymore but like rn i kinda do this is too much today feels like too much#help me im drowning
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celestial--atlas · 2 months
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3 & 10 for the OC ask game :3c
OOO I didnt expect ppl to actually be in my ask box!! hello!!
let me preface this; the character, maeve, i'll be doing for this challenge/ask game is a self insert, with AU/universe flexibility, most of her character building revolves around her interactions with other characters. I havent thought much into her playability! so this is pretty much made up on the spot
#3: "a member of the astral express crew. her role on the train as a journalist does not lend itself to being someone incredibly powerful, but don't mistake her friendliness for compliance. she spends her time gathering additional information from friends and companions the crew has met with, and filing it away neatly in the data bank."
#10: GREETING. "oh, hello! good to see you again, dear. how have you been? anything interesting happen lately?"
CHAT: THE DATA BANK. "hmm... i should go through the data bank... what things could i add to it?"
ABOUT DAN HENG. "he's very quiet, but don't worry, he's not ignoring you. the both of us find solace in silence."
ABOUT MARCH. "her photographs are phenomenal! i always have her take pictures to be the covers of my articles."
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sammy,, look under 😜 — 💬
"Need another cup of coffee?"
"How about you go fuck yourself?"
"Jeez, excuse me for trying to be polite," muttered Warren, walking out of the kitchen with Eli tailing him.
Samuel could hear the latter saying in a low voice, "Why do you even bother trying to be nice to him?" and Warren replying, "He just looks like a needs a friend sometimes..."
Once they were out of his hearing range, Samuel sighed and stared down into his empty cup of coffee. He took out his phone to see if he missed anything on his break, but all he got was a text from you. After reading it, he raised a brow and simply replied:
No.
But now he was curious. Should he check below the table real quick or would he just look stupid? Wait, were you trying to make him look dumb...?!
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nyankoizumi · 2 years
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Grabs DHMIS tv show by the shoulders and draws blood like that one meme please please please PLEASE let duck have a turn on the self awareness. Let him go insane. Let him see the situation he is in or show us if he knows it and how he copes with it please please i am begging you they're gonna kill my wife if you don't
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i don't feel real anymore and it's only. monday.
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quirkle2 · 2 years
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I actually want the scarf backstory.
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(warnings in the tags)
ok so here's the sitch, the scarf will come eventually i promise
wars' entire life growing up in castle town was just . frankly shitty GVYEAGIV his family was decently wealthy and they easily had food on the table, but wars' father was a Dick and very much not a good parent
wars' mother on the other hand, was like . basically The World to him. in his little 8-year-old eyes she was Everything and he followed her around everywhere she went and he just adored her. she was always so gentle and patient w him and she made sure to teach him how to be kind above all else. she was the one who kept him from letting the arrogance and just,, general toxic behavior of a LOT of people in castle town influence him
she gives him a big orange scarf that she made at some point, just a little gift for when he's older and able to wear it, but he ends up adoring it so much that he wears it even when he's Tiny and gets very attached to it
his mother sadly passes from illness when wars is 8. him being a little guy and not knowing how to process grief in the slightest, he grasps at the only thing he has left of her and that's the scarf—it becomes a comfort item, smth he can't leave his own room without having it wrapped around him
his father starts training him when he's 9 in hopes of making him a soldier good enough to defend the kingdom. he grows up, doesn't make many friends, and eventually climbs the ranks until around the time his game begins. his father dies in battle before wars is even promoted to captain. all that hard work to make him proud, and he never sees him succeed
impa promotes him and hands him the blue scarf, and he's forced to discard his precious orange one in exchange for the Hero's garb. it feels heavy in his hands, heavy on his shoulders, and even though he's 18 when this happens, he's still far too young to rly understand the scope of what he's being dragged into
months later, he knows. he knows far too well why that scarf had felt so heavy on him when he'd first donned it
i'm sure u can guess where i'm goin w this, but all the Expectations and the High Standards and the Pressure of being the hero sorta just melds w the scarf in his mind, and when he puts that thing on, he feels all of it weigh on him
the people in his kingdom are Critical. they love him and they hate him and they praise him and they mock him and u know how being a Big Figure goes, right? every little thing he does is treated with both cheers and malice and usually, to him, the malice reaches much further
they ridicule him for just abt everything. he stands next to artemis as she's giving a speech, acting as her bodyguard—rly just there for show since he never says much during the parades and the announcements—and people in the crowd r making gestures at him, slitting-throat signs w their hands, yelling and mouthing death threats right at his face. when he returns from a long battle injured and beaten, they accuse him of being a poor choice for a war, not good enough of a fighter, not strong enough; when he returns uninjured, they claim he's slacking and letting his underlings take the hits instead
and during the war ? wars' life is just . ,,,so so bad in the mental health department. he's Completely alone. he lives by himself, he has no friends, and impa and artemis are more coworkers than they are companions, even if they claim to have his back. he's overworked until he can barely walk by the end of the day and every surface of his house is peppered w paperwork that he can never escape. the weight of the responsibilities and the Trauma of the war on top of all that ?
he's close to breaking. he's the type of person that needs and loves and seeks affection and he hasn't gotten that literally since he was 8. he's an extrovert, Loves talking to people, loves Being w people and conversing and joking around and hugging and laughing and he's got none of that—the closest he manages is w his troops, but wars is careful not to get too close for,,, obvious reasons. he doesn't need to lose anybody else
he comes home to an empty house and it's that ? staticy, humming silence when he closes the door and stands there in the dark that he hates the most. he has a couch that nobody has ever sat on except him. he doesn't have enough time to decorate and the furniture and tapestries on the walls weren't even put there by him, it was the people artemis hired that were put in charge of housing him. it all feels utterly Empty, and wars is . pretty much hopeless at some point. just,, trudgin along
but then the war is won. and even though that doesn't relieve him of hero duty, at least the fighting and the death is over with. all their resources r directed to rebuilding, and while it's still a lot of work and everything is far from over and wars is still utterly fucking exhausted, he's just glad there's no more corpses he has to look at
fast forward to lu—he meets the chain, they go on a quest, and for the first time ever, he gets close to people. he starts calling them teammates, then friends, then Family, and since he's technically not on duty while out w the chain, he wears his orange scarf instead. it's lighter than the blue one in many, many ways
at some point when they return to wars' era for a visit and a quick break, wars is not included in that break. they overwork him hard enough for him to get ill and bedridden and legend gets so irate about it that he marches up to artemis and impa and makes a Big scene abt it
he's drawing negative attention to authority, but they bite their tongues until wars is better. when he is better, he is called to the throne room and ordered to "keep legend quiet." wars doesn't like that. stuff happens, arguments ensue, and it eventually gets bad enough to where they threaten to Ban legend from castle town altogether
this is . greatly disturbing to warriors. bc they Know how much ledge means to him. and they would blatantly use that against him, to get their way ? they call themselves his friends, when they'd do smth like that?
he says that if legend is banned, so is he—their Hero
and they agree to that
so warriors is, legally, exiled from castle town—his home. he'd meant it as a bluff, bc he'd half-thought artemis was bluffing—ofc tho, he doesn't regret the decision, not when legend was being wrongfully banned just for sticking up for him. and he spends the next few weeks thinking all that over—the fact that his "friends" would do that to him is appalling, but it suddenly,,, Hits him at some point that when he'd stopped being useful, they just,, threw him out
the second he got too hard to handle and not worth the trouble, they tossed him to the street. some "friends" they were.
when he's exiled, he's given a chance to reflect. and he realizes that it was actually one of the best thing to ever happen to him. he was so unhappy all his life within those goddamn walls, so miserably alone, so utterly hopeless, and then when he'd been sent through those portals and met the chain, the weight of that all seemed to ,, lift, a little
he realizes that even though he's on another adventure and looking death in the face, he's infinitely happier with the chain than he ever would have been back home. the chain loves him, treats him like family, talks to him, jokes w him, hugs him and laughs w him. they don't overwork him to death and they don't stop loving him when he's not at peak performance 24/7. he has people who care. he has people who don't only talk to him when they want smth from him
so he ditches the blue scarf altogether. with it goes his responsibilities and all the stress and depression and crippling loneliness it had housed. he dons the orange one instead, sunshine on his back—he's gained a family and the warmth of that resides in it, the happy, jittery feeling in his chest is what the fabric is practically made of. it reminds him of his mother and happiness and it feels so, so much lighter.
#qktalks#destructokats#tw parent death#parent death tw#tw death threats#death threat tw#i just rly enjoy stories of recovery and things getting better#and the scarves sorta represent that#btw he's still very much attached to the orange one#still treats it like a comfort item. is Always wearing it. gets genuinely jumpy and nervous if he isn’t near it in some way#he's gotten better over the years w it and he Was sorta forced to not wear it during duty back in the war#but that doesn't mean it didn't make his anxiety any less high back then. he Hated not wearing it#at some point he gets a white one just like it (or as close as he can get to his mom's)#and he wears that one when his orange isnt available. the weight on his shoulders helps a bit. makes him feel less naked#important note that i feel like somebody might be miffed abt:#yes i kinda characterize artemis and impa as like . cold and efficient coworkers and nothing more#and that is purely bc i feel absolutely nothing for their characters and how they were written in hyrule warriors GVIAEGYV#i'm sorry for making them Like That i simply don't have an attachment to them At All#please understand im just a little guy#anyway im so sorry holy shit GVIEYAV that was so long and needlessly dramatic. wow i am so cringe#but im so free. actually no im not i could be freer. i could be living in the woods hollering to the moon abt him#in my mind that's what im doing . i assure u#i skipped a good bit from him growing up to his shitty mental health during the war#mostly bc the details aren’t set in stone and they're a bit darker#kinda heavy stuff so i won't go too into it here but just know that he rly struggled and it was Bad#and that makes me sad cuz wars isn't inherently a very depressed person. he was Driven to that level of depression and hopelessness#he's usually very happy. but for a solid chunk of his life it was very hard to stay happy#i also just left stuff out cuz this was long and yaknow . i feel like there's a limit to how annoying u can be and im for sure reaching it#IM AT 29 TAGS . I HAVE ONE MORE TO CONVEY MY LOVE FOR WARRIORS IF THAT HASN'T ALREADY BEEN ESTABLISHED#twists him around like im wringing out a wet dish rag. /i love you i love you i love you i lo
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gaywiththesauce · 6 months
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SONG SINGING
someone calm me down i need to SLEEp i have a SOLO section in a SONG tomorrow and my WHOLE family is going to be there im NERVOUS and now im NERVUOUD more and i hope we go to wendys :)
saucy landed meself a solo line that i get to sing!!! in front of 1 million people (a church of >100 and a chapel room) and my part is miniscule but im the only one singling it!!!!!!!!!!!!! and i want it to be good!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
so uh uh uh time to go feral on stage. im getting flowers >:)
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