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wellpresseddaisy · 2 years

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The Cokeworth Lost Baggage Department

Part 3

"Liaison Pascoe speaking."

He finally picked up the phone.

"I'm calling to discover the appropriate guardian for a war orphan. The Headmaster is checking at the Ministry." Severus began.

"Is that…Snape? Can this wait? We're up to our…"

"I do not care," Severus used the tone he'd developed to keep his Slytherins in line. "If you are currently hung upside down by your…what was that delightfully Yorkshire phrase…your goolies. This is a priority."

"Well, the years haven't improved your temper." He knew Pascoe trying to lighten the mood.

He would not be lightened.

"Or my tolerance for shilly-shallying. The child is Harry Potter. His wretched aunt has abandoned him."

There was the sound of a phone receiver falling onto a solid desk, and then general mayhem. Severus allowed himself a thin smile.

"What?!" Came over the line, and then more faintly. "No, no, just leave it. I'll clear that up."

"She and her husband decided to slip out the back door of the hotel when she finally realized the child would have to go to Hogwarts. They left a note, which may have transferred guardianship to me, completely." Severus explained.

"Why do these things only ever happen to you?" Pascoe asked, sighing. "I'll have to explain this and then we'll be off. We should be there to explain and bring any documentation you'll need in…an hour?"

"That will give me time to explain, thank you." Severus hung up before Pascoe could try for any pleasantries.

He gave himself precisely three minutes to seethe before he turned to go to the sitting room. Harry sat right where he'd left him, seemingly engrossed in the draft manual.

"Mr. Potter." He called out quietly.

Potter still jumped and gulped and looked about like a trapped rabbit for a moment before recovering his composure. Severus reminded himself that he did not want to crack another molar through teeth grinding.

"Thank you for remaining where you were. Did you enjoy the book?" Might as well see if the boy had a brain.

Potter beamed at him. "It's brilliant! I've never seen anything so interesting!"

Well, perhaps they could make a potioneer out of Potter-spawn.

"Good. The Headmaster is checking with our Ministry and I've called in a police liaison. They'll be here in about an hour but…there are some things you should know, first." He sat in an armchair opposite the sofa.

"Like what, sir?" Potter closed the book and set it carefully on the closest end table.

"It looks likely that you may have been transferred into my custody. The people checking will tell us for sure, but I think your aunt managed it. You, however may not want to remain in my custody."

"Why not?"

"Because your parents are dead because of my actions." Best start with the worst of it.

"Did you hit their car? Aunt Petunia says my dad was a drunk and driving when he shouldn't."

"Your father was many things, Mr. Potter, but he was no drunk. Nor do I think he could actually drive. Your father was born into the magical world, to a well-respected family. Your mother grew up not far from here, just over the river, and she was the only one in her family with magic."

"Then how…?"

"That's a bit of a long story, but we have some time. Your mother and I were friends, best friends, for six years. We went off to Hogwarts together and were sorted into different houses. She went to one called Gryffindor and I to Slytherin. We didn't know, living in the muggle world as we did, that an evil wizard was on the rise. Slytherin, unfortunately, was home to the children of many of his followers. I had an unhappy time at Hogwarts and slowly fell into their way of thinking. Some of the older students had made something of a pet of me and, well, I made some terrible choices that ended my friendship with your mother. And your father and I never got on, at all."

"So you followed the evil wizard?"

"For a time as an adult. I had promised I would when my friend's father offered to sponsor my Potions Mastery. It was something I'd dreamed of, but which I knew was beyond my means."

Potter thought for a moment. "So he bribed you with something you really wanted? Aunt Petunia does that all the time with Dudley."

Severus blinked. He'd never really thought of it as a bribe before.

"At the time I also wanted to join. I thought…well, I thought I would be part of something bigger, something impressive." That cost something to admit.

"I think impressive probably depended on what the evil wizard wanted." Potter said decisively.

"In the end, I don't know that he knew what he wanted, not entirely. Initially it was the wizarding world for those born to it and taking muggleborns and half-bloods from their birth parents. It became something else entirely when he turned to violence."

"And my mum and dad fought against him?"

"Yes. We were on opposite sides until…until the prophecy." He'd never had to explain any of this to another person before.

"There's a prophecy involved?" Harry breathed, eyes wide.

"Yes. I was sent to see if I could secure a job at Hogwarts so I could spy on the headmaster. My job, mostly, was spying. I wasn't very good at it at that point and was caught, but not before I heard two lines of a prophecy." He stopped, hardly knowing how to go on. He thought he'd been ready to be despised.

"What were they?" The quiet question broke the tension in the room.

"The one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord approaches ... born to those who have thrice defied him, born as the seventh month dies … " He trailed off. Those words would forever be seared into his brain. "I immediately brought that to the evil wizard and some time later he told me that he'd decided it was about you and your parents. You'd only been born a few months before."

"Had we been traveling?" Potter asked. "Because approaches doesn't really sound like anything to do with babies."

"No. He believed it referred to your impending birth, when it was given." Oh, Dumbledore would be angry he'd told the boy, but he believed Potter deserved to know as much as possible.

Potter blinked, as if assimilating what he'd just heard. "That." He said after a few minutes of quiet. "Sounds like complete and utter bollocks. I'll bet he didn't like my parents for some reason and shoehorned them into it."

"You were born at the end of July." Severus had to point out.

It opened the floodgate.

"But that could be anyone, really! How many babies were born on July thirty-first? I'll bet loads. And it could be b-o-r-n-e and not b-o-r-n, if you only heard it. So it could have been an adult traveling and not an unborn baby. Maybe he just wasn't good at spelling? And did he keep track of everyone who'd defied him? Like in a little book or something? Because it seems unlikely to me that he knew exactly how many times he'd been defied by each person fighting against him, since that seems like it would be a lot. And do you think it had to be a magical person or could it just be someone not letting him do something? Did it have to be three times exactly? Or was it at least three times? Every book I've read says that the wording in a prophecy is important. Like Eowyn could destroy the Witch King because she wasn't a man." Potter, apparently, had both a brain and quite a bit of pent-up feeling regarding prophecy in general.

"Just as you say, Mr. Potter. But it stands that by taking those words to him I signed you parents' death warrants." How to get him to see just how wretched it had been?

"Did you tell him my mum was pregnant? Did you know?" Potter demanded, brow furrowed.

"No. I had no idea until he told me how he interpreted it. That was shortly after your birth." That, at least, could be answered fully honestly.

"Then how could you have signed their death warrants? You never said anything about us to him. That was all his idea, right?" Potter popped off the sofa to pace.

"Yes, but the prophecy gave him the idea. And…when he told me I only asked him to spare your mother." If that didn't give the child a disgust of him then nothing would.

He stopped in his tracks for a moment, clearly thinking. "Yes…but…if you and my dad didn't get on and people knew about it and the prophecy was about me, who else could you ask to have spared? If he was that evil he wasn't likely to decide against killing me because you said please."

Potter resumed pacing. He seemed to be taking this remarkably well.

"No, he would not agree just because I said please." Severus agreed.

"Did you do anything to help after that?" Potter demanded, pausing for a moment to wrap his arms around himself, looking nervous for the first time.

"I went to the headmaster. He headed up the resistance to the evil wizard. I told him that the evil wizard knew about the prophecy and had decided it was about you. That's when I stopped following and became a spy for the other side."

Potter resumed pacing. "So you knew you'd made a mistake and tried to fix it? And you didn't follow the evil wizard anymore?"

"No. I had to pretend, but only for a few months. On the next year's October thirty-first, he was informed of your whereabouts and went to kill all three of you. He succeeded with your parents, but when he turned his wand on you he…he disappeared." This was the second tricky part. How much did one reveal? He didn't wish the child to be paranoid.

"Oh." Potter sat heavily on the sofa. "Is he…gone?"

"For now. Forever, we hope, but at the very least for now." It was the only truthful answer.

"I have to think about it, I think, about the evil wizard maybe not being dead. But…I don't think I'd mind staying with you. You've already been loads better than Aunt Petunia and Uncle Vernon." Potter shrank in on himself. "I think…I think if I'd known my parents I might be really angry, and I might be later, but…I don't know them…and you tried to help."

"We'll see what we can do to rectify that, Mr. Potter. You should know who they were." He promised. "Would you like some time to think before the liaison gets here?"

Potter looked shocked at having his feelings taken into consideration.

"Yes, please."

"I'll make some tea." Severus left Potter to the book or his thoughts and went to the kitchen.

The child had surprised him. He considered it as he went through the motions of boiling the kettle and warming his teapot. He seemed a reasonably intelligent boy, one who thought about things before he simply reacted to them. No doubt some of that came from getting clouted for having emotions, if he knew Petunia.

If it turned out he had custody, they'd do their best. They'd muddle through, at any rate. He'd never had a child in his sole guardianship before.

#cokeworth lost baggage department #harry potter #severus snape #mild dalziel and pascoe crossover #peter pascoe was a hufflepuff

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lieutenant-rasczak · 1 year

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On the incredible danger of the quaint, English village....

Although I live in Texas, thanks to various streaming services I get to watch a great deal of British T.V. I have noticed that these shows (Midsomer Murders, Dalziel and Pascoe, Waking the Dead, Shakespeare and Hathaway, Vera, Rosemary & Thyme, Wycliffe, etc.) share a common theme.

And, after a certain amount of research I discovered that, believe it or not, the third leading cause of death in the UK seems to be "Moving to a quaint, country village".

While “Getting murdered in a quaint, English, village” killed slightly fewer UK Residents in 2021 than "Cancer" and "Heart Disease" it was distressingly close. Even worse it came in only slightly ahead of "Attending a weekend party at a stately country home", which is in itself a fairly lethal pastime. In fact “Attending a weekend party at a stately country home” WAS the second leading cause of death in Britain between 1919 and 1939, but began to decline after the war as the Labour Govt. raised taxes and the number of country homes dropped drastically; thus causing a steep decline in the number of weekend parties one could be murdered at.

In any case my research indicates that IF you are British, AND you are feeling down, depressed, and suicidal, there is no reason for you to run your car off a cliff, or take a trip to Switzerland. In fact, you need only do the following

1) move to a lovely, quiet, English village where nothing ever happens, but the murder rate is (adjusted for population) is far higher than that of South Chicago or East L.A.

You might think that such a village would be hard to find, but apparently England is simply teeming with them. Places with highly competitive flower shows or bleak, cliff filled coastlines seem to be particularly deadly.

2) Change your will, and make sure to mention this to the former beneficiary. (This is vitally important!) Also make sure to let them know where the new will is kept. The top drawer of your desk is probably the best place, no need for locking file cabinets or bank safety deposit boxes!

3) Develop a keen interest in local land titles and/or genealogy. In fact you should probably announce that you are writing a book on the subject. (It is suggested that you do so in a crowded pub.) In any case make sure to spend plenty of time at the local public records office researching this while receiving vaguely threatening remarks from various upset neighbours. If you receive any threatening notes make sure to save them in an easily discovered drawer somewhere, but do NOT mention them to anybody, and certainly do not heed any warnings you are given about a need to “back off”. That last one is ESSENTIAL.

4) Stand against the most popular member in the election for Parish Council. Threatening to win the local flower show is also a good move.

5) Always leave the door or doors unlocked at night. (This includes your car.) Even if you have lived in London for decades, discard any habits you may have about locking up as soon as you move to the quaint, country, murder hole.

6) Never close any curtains or blinds, that way your future assailant always knows exactly where you are and what you are doing.

7) Either don't have a phone or keep it in an inaccessible or hard to find place.

8) Never, ever have any useful weapons nearby or if you do ensure you lose of drop them immediately on seeing your assailant.

Do this, and you’re guaranteed to be pushing up daisies by Christmas.

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jtownraindancer · 8 months

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My Favorite Murder Suspect 💙

#2006 quality will always be 2006 quality but i think these came out okay ♡#burn gorman #jerry hart #a death in the family #dalziel and pascoe #my gifs #man i need a tag for burn now fuck #g l a s s e s #I'm becoming very fond of this man in glasses ^_^#another brown eyed boy ruining my life

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glennk56 · 8 months

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Gerard Horan. British actor who often plays detectives on TV. These photos range from 2002-2013. I like to see wearing something other than the typical detective suit and tie and playing roles other than that.

Gerard Horan Photo Page.

Nicholas Nickelby (period adventure romance adapted from Charles Dickens noval), 12/2002. pictured with Timothy Spall.

2-4. My Family 5;9. (tv Family sitcom starring Robert Lindsay and Zoe Wanamaker that ran for 11 seasons, 2000-2011) 5/2004.

5-6. Marple 1;4. 1/2005 (tv mystery based on Agatha Christie's Miss Marple novels set in the 1950s)

7. Timewatch 4;2. 3/2005. (investigative documentary series on historical events-This particular episode follows the life of Cicero.

8. Oliver Twist 9/2005. (Apapted from the Charles Dickens Novel) Gerard played a small role as a Farmer.

9-10. Doc Martin 2;1, 11/2005. (from very long running Comedy/drama TV series) I posted photos from this episode earlier.

11-13. Dalziel and Pascoe 10;7 4/2006. (Long-running personality driven whodunnit crime drama.) Gerard plays a suspect in this episode.)

14. The Royal 5;10, 5/2006. (Hospital drama) Gerard has only a small role in this episode.)

15. As You Like It, 9/2006. (adapted from Shakespeare's play)

16-19. Doctor Who 3;8, 5/2007. (from the 2 part episode Human Nature and The Family of Blood during David Tennant's turn as the Doctor)

20-21. Kingdom 1;4, 5/2007. (Crime comedy/drama starring Stephen Fry) Gerard played a recurring character D.C. Yelland.

22. Lark Rise to Candleford 1;3, 1/2008. (short-lived Romance Drama set in the Victorian Era) Gerard appeared in all 6 episodes.)

23. Kingdom 3;3, 4/2009.

24. DCI Banks 1;6, 10/2011. (Crime/Mystery Drama)

25. My Week With Marilyn. 10/2011. (A film of the making of the film The Prince and The Showgirl)

26. Appropriate Adult (miniseries) 12/2011.

27. Dancing On the Edge. (award-winning miniseries) 2/2013. John Goodman plays a prominent role. Gerard has a small role.

#Gerard Horan #british actor #fat actor

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annadaptors · 7 months

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DC Stuart Fraser in Taggart, 'Angel Eyes' (1996) / DS Edgar Wield in Dalziel + Pascoe, 'Child's Play' (1998).

Fraser 🤝🏼 Wield = Forced to come out to their superiors after the murder of a former lover.

#dalziel and pascoe #taggart #usergay #mlmsource #tvedit #gifset #finksgifs #now this would be an ambitious crossover #i’ve been wanting to do something like this for a while #their coming out plots had a lot in common #all those newspaper articles claiming stuart’s ‘coming out’ was out of left field #obviously did not pay close enough attention to devil’s advocate #or maybe i’m only seeing it because i have the benefit of hindsight #edgar wield #stuart fraser

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keep-it-light · 2 months

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@somethingblu3 this was the best I could come up with for Neil's characters Michael Faulks from DOCTORS and ET from Dalziel & Pascoe. I hope you like them.

#neil newbon #bbc doctors #dalziel and pascoe #requested #made by me #my collage #ripley's collages

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somethingblu3 · 3 months

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💙somethingblu3's masterlist💙

All graphics used are made by the wonderful Ripley! @keep-it-light NSFW 18+

My asks are always open for ideas and personalized requests, although do bear in mind I'm a university student, so the responses may be slow. I'm generally open to writing anything dark, so don't be shy; the only limits that I hope you bear in mind are:

Needles (For medical reasons)

Anything medical-related (I'm fine with blood play or injuries

Feederism - Anything related to weight loss or gain Feederism (I'm totally down for writing plus sized characters!)

Suicide - I'm fine with characters having invasive thoughts (as that's perfectly normal) but not the act of self-harm.

Also, if you would like to request a fic, please add specific characters, kinks or scenarios a little background. Nothing too vague but doesn't have to be extremely detailed. Also, feel free to dip into my inbox to talk characters or headcannons! I think about Mr Newbon's characters more than the average person should.

Also, one last thing I thought I would put here to get more eyes on it. We have a really small Neil-focused discord. If you would like to join us, click here! It's very rusty, but it's something (DM if you are interested in becoming a mod to help tidy it up a bit I'd very much appreciate any help)