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marieracingteam · 14 days

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Till then I will forever miss you – sv5

Sebastian Vettel x reader

word count: 1588

summary: In which Sebastian Vettel knew he couldn’t be friends with his ex-partner until he got his priorities straight.

The news about Sebastian Vettel’s retirement was out and everywhere. His video has already been shared more than a million times in the few days it has been out. So he guessed anyone with a minor interest in the sport knew who he was and what the future looked like to him now.

Or at least what they imagine his future would look like.

The reality is that not even Sebastian knew what life had in store for him.

He was a divorced thirty-something, with three daughters who lived away from him most of the year and an apartment that made him feel like a caged animal. He had 4 world championships and a full passport, but he also had 35 years behind him in which he felt that he had achieved nothing in his personal life.

He could try and blame his fast-paced professional life for his half-hearted personal life, but he couldn't deny that he was mostly to blame for his failed marriage to a wonderful woman, his poor parenting of wonderful daughters who adored him, and his too-modern home in a city he hated.

Since his divorce, he had dedicated all his energy to racing and fast cars, but he quickly discovered that his heart wasn't in it either. So he obviously knew that he should retire and leave that seat free for someone whose heart was at the wheel.

The worst thing was that Sebastian knew where his heart was, he just didn't know how to get to it. It just had been lost since 2015.

Without it, he had been floundering ever since. He had moved, he had pursued a different lifestyle, he had gotten married, he had even changed teams trying to find it, but he always knocked on the wrong doors only. The truth was that the closest he had been to happiness had been when his daughters were born, but by then he was no longer the man he wanted his daughters to learn from.

But now, he thought. Now he was free of the chains to which he had bound himself. Now he was finally starting to realize his mistakes and taking the right steps to correct them. Now he was ready to be the man he wanted to be, for himself and, most importantly, for his daughters.

After the last race of the season, Sebastian took the first flight to his native Germany and completely left behind his past life and the mistakes he had carried in it.

He bought a house in the country as he had always dreamed of and painted rooms with children's motifs for small beds and toys. He adopted a dog as his psychologist had recommended. And he dusted off the old cell phone that he always carried with him.

It was a long shot and he knew it, but it was the only thing he could think of to find peace and happiness.

In those long eight years, there was a good chance that she had changed her number or blocked him. Maybe she too had gotten married and had a life away from him, probably better than the one he could offer her.

Maybe she had forgotten him. Maybe he should have forgotten her.

But there was no chance, however remote, that he could live in a world in which she did not occupy his thoughts at all hours. He'd been a stupid kid when he'd let her get away thinking he could do it.

He had promised her father that he would do right by her and that is what he had tried to do all his life since he met her in school. His problem had been thinking that he was doing it when he let her go so that she could find happiness away from his chaotic life when she wanted to start a family and he could only think about lifting the championship cup with the red team.

He had been a fool thinking a trophy could give him more than a life with her and even more so for believing that she could be happier away from him.

And all for what? To end up forming a family far from hers? To have his heart searching for something that he knew he would only find with her? He was a fool and he had paid for it by being miserable for the next few years, thinking that his repentance was not enough to deserve her back.

Now, something about him had changed, although he wasn't sure what at the moment. He knew now. It had been the robbery he suffered during one of the Grand Prix he raced in which he lost the photo he kept of her in her wallet. He had hundreds more hidden in his house, but that one was special. That had been a gift from her after graduating from school, a photo that her parents had taken of them to remember their last day as classmates, and that she had wanted him to have to remember her if they were not classmates at high school.

Losing that photo had been the last blow he needed to get her life back in order. When he retrieved the empty wallet he could only kneel on the ground and cry for the life he had lost. And when he found it after hours looking for it in all the garbage containers in the city he knew to do something, even if it was for nothing.

Less than a year later he was a different man. What remained to be known is whether she was also a different woman. And what that meant to them.

After breaking up their relationship, they both accepted that they couldn’t be friends. Not when they knew what it felt like to be more. Not when they had never been friends.

Since they were six years old they had been best friends, lovers, confidants, each other's other half... but never friends. Now they were nothing, not even acquaintances who follow each other’s lives on social media. Despite having let her be free to find happiness elsewhere, Sebastian knew that he couldn't bear to see her happy away from him.

He thought he was sacrificing himself for her when in reality he had just condemned them both.

However, now he wanted to change it and his only asset was that old phone that he had kept as his most precious possession.

The only number still saved there was the one he used to call at all hours and that he still had memorized.

By the fourth ring, Sebastian was convinced he had lost his last hope. But she had always told him that a fifth championship awaited her. And there was no better victory in his eyes than that fifth tone that she cut to make way for the voice that always accompanied him.

“Hello?” she whispered in German.

“Hello” he whispered back and he felt like coming finally home “I didn't know if you had changed your phone number”

“I did” she confessed “but I kept the phone in case you ever called”.

Sebastian completely forgot the paper he held tremblingly in his hand with everything he wanted to say written down when he heard her.

“You did?” he dared to ask.

“Of course,” she said “who could I not?”

“I didn’t hope you would wait” It was difficult to hear her with her racing heartbeat in his ears, but Sebastian did his best to memorize every one of her words.

“I have always waited for your love, Sebastian”

At that he couldn’t hold any longer the tears that begged to break free from his eyes. A sob left his mouth. What had he condemned them to when he chose for her?

“Everything's fine. We have a lot to tell each other, it's fine. It was difficult for me, but I understood why you did it. It wasn't our time, we didn't know how to align our dreams. But I felt your love in your sacrifice. Everything is alright.”

Sebastian could only nod even if he knew she couldn't see him. Words could not come out of his mouth with his body paralyzed in the only chair he had for now in his new living room. That photo that she almost lost on her knee staring at him.

“I’m back” he gathered the strength to say.

“I know” he answered.

“I came back for you” was his time to confess.

She laughed timidly at that and more tears escaped his eyes. “I know”.

“Can I see you?” he begged.

There was a lot he hadn't asked. He didn't know anything about what his life had been like in those eight years, so he didn't even know if he could ask that question. But he had to do it now that he had worked up the courage to do it.

“Sebastian... I also tried to look for you elsewhere” she whispered again, probably afraid of what those words could mean for both of them.

“I don’t care, liebe. There's nothing you can say that will make me love you less”.

“I have my two boys with me till next month” she said.

“I have my daughters with me next week for a month too”.

She laughed again and he knew she also felt it. He knew that she felt that everything was fine now, that everything was finally falling into place.

They will be fine.

#f1 #f1 fanfic #f1 fanfiction #formula 1 #formula 1 fanfic #f1 angst #sebastian vettel #sebastian vettel x reader #sv5 #sebastian vettel fanfic #sv5 x reader #sv5 fanfic

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marieracingteam · 19 days

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Lancey and his Lilybug – ls.18

stepdad!Lance Stroll

word count: 2990

summary: The day Lance realised he will never be dad to his baby.

Lance knew Lily wasn’t his. He knew. He reminded himself of it every day to see if, by force of repetition, he would memorize it.

But nothing seemed to work when he came back home to her steps running down the stairs.

So he forgot. Or maybe he ignored the truth.

He forgot while he was playing dolls with her. He forgot during bathtime when the whole bathroom was covered in bubbles and marks of the Bathroom Crayons they had just bought. He forgot when the food her mother had cooked for them was her least favorite –even if it was her favorite last week– and they had to play flights with it so she would eat it. He forgot while he was driving and could only think about home. And he forgot when she would wake them up at night time so she could sleep between them, even if he had an early morning waiting for him.

He forgot most of the time.

However, he couldn’t forget it this time. At that moment, Lance couldn’t pretend to ignore the truth any longer.

Lily wasn’t his daughter, she would never be.

Even with his ring on her mom’s finger and their names in the housing registry he bought.

Even if he was the one she called when she was sick.

Lance wasn’t her real dad. His name wasn’t on the list. And nothing will change it. Not even his father's last name.

“I am really sorry Mr. Stroll, but only the immediate family can enter the intensive care unit. I understand your frustration, but there is nothing I can about about it” said the nurse again.

“Listen, if this is about money…” his father kept going but Lance was no longer listening.

The corridor that separated them, which became increasingly endless, was now his only breathing space. As he walked through it he could only think that Lily was not his. Which was curious when he thought about how much time he had spent ignoring that detail.

Lily was in there and he could only be out there.

When only a door separated them, Lance stood in front of the small glass. Through it, he could only see another white hallway and a doctor passing by, but he still didn't dare to look away.

He knew if father was calling him, but he couldn’t take his eyes off the crystal. The nurse had allowed him to stand them as long as he didn’t try trespassing and he was going to take advantage of that piece of mercy as much as he could.

“Son”, his father tried again.

And that word made Lance want to fall to the ground and stay there till it all stopped.

Son. He was someone’s one. Just like Lily was someone's daughter.

But not his. Never his.

She was the daughter of someone who wasn’t even going to come see her. And he was the son of someone who would have to live with the knowledge that his granddaughter would never have his last name.

“She will be alright. You heard your fiancée. She will be fine.”

But his father hadn’t seen the state the car was in.

He had not had to drive faster than the legal speed to reach a car that was destroyed and from which his family was being taken.

He had not been separated from his family at the door of a hospital because they were nothing of his.

His father had always been there with him. He had always been at the foot of his children's beds. He had always held their hands when they needed him most. Even when it was just a chipped tooth.

Lance couldn’t even see her through a window.

He could just stare at an empty hallway and wait.

And wait he did. He waited for hours standing there. Just moving once to let a doctor open the door and enter the area he could never pass into. He waited until his father had to sit and he waited until the nurse clocked out and a new one came by. He waited while his father tried again without any result. He waited while his cell phone didn't ring.

And when he thought he couldn’t wait any more a door opened in the hallway and a nurse appeared pushing a bed.

A bed too big for such a small body.

And he knew like he supposed any father would. He knew that was his baby.

His fiancée was the first to see him as she walked out of the room. Her head and one of her arms had been bandaged and a slight limp made him realize that one of her legs must have also been injured, but she had not been the one who had received the biggest blow from the drunk driver.

She slightly smiled at him with a sorry expression and she silently turned to the nurse, who also gave him a look before turning the bed and directing it towards the door so that he could see the little girl.

He tried calling his father, but nothing came out of him when he saw her there.

She had a few scratches on her face and arms –the only parts of her that weren’t covered by the sheet– but she seemed to be healthy despite everything.

The ambulance had taken her directly to the intensive care unit of the emergency room after removing her from the back of the car, which had been completely destroyed. Everything had happened so fast that he hadn't been able to see her for even a moment when he arrived. Afterward, Lance had only had a second to talk to his fiancée before she could come in to see her daughter.

When Lily saw him, Lance could have sworn his heart stopped completely. He damned the door when he couldn’t hear her little voice saying his name or reach her and touch her like he had been praying to.

She waved her small hands as she hadn’t expected him to be there. And he couldn’t stop the tears from falling.

His fiancée grabbed her phone –which was cracked and didn’t function completely fine– and he copied her almost knocking it to the ground.

“Lancey!” shouted Lily as soon as the call connected. The video didn't work, but he didn’t need it to see them through a screen when he had them in the flesh before his eyes.

“Baby!” he cried back almost colliding with the glass.

“Lancey! I missed you!”.

“So did I baby, so did I. Are you ok? Does anything hurt?” he asked her without taking his eyes off the small window.

“A little. They are going to put a bandaid on, but they don’t have the dinosaurs ones” she explained like nothing had really happened, as if a car driving at more than 100km on a conventional road had not crashed into her door at a red light.

“They said she is fine. The car seat you bought her stopped most of the blow. She only has some injuries from the flying glass. They still have to do an MRI, but they believe that everything will be fine. Now they are going to do the test and if everything goes well they will move us to a room to spend the night under surveillance.” His fiancée explained with tears in her eyes, still in shock from the crash.

Lance could only nod at that while trying to process everything. He didn’t even feel his father's presence behind him.

“You may not be in here but you saved her” she whispered while her daughter threw kisses at him from her bed. He nodded again, remembering the car seat he always made them carry when they visited him. It was crazy expensive and a hulk to carry, but a traffic safety expert had told him it was the best on the market and Lance had refused to drive any car with Lily that didn't have it. He had even bought one for his father’s and sister’s car and another one for Lily's biological father for a car she had never been in Still, he would have preferred never to need it.

His father pressed his head to his son's so he could see the little girl through the window, who immediately began calling him on the phone.

While they spoke, Lance's fiancée moved closer to the window and put her hand in the crystal. Her ring crashed in the process, making the glass vibrate. Lance quickly followed her.

“I’m sorry. I love you” she muttered the words making him repeat them instantly.

Before this, they knew how things worked. Of course they did. It took a while for Lance to be able to pick up Lily from daycare because of the paperwork both parents had to sign. They knew that the relationship they had did not magically make Lance a legal guardian of the little girl. Even so, the hospital's refusal to let Lance in despite the couple's requests had been like a bucket of cold water for both of them.

“We love you” she repeated and he just nodded in tears watching them leave again.

However, this time the wait seemed shorter.

Even though his fiancée's phone had completely died, Lance knew that they were both safe and well and that he would soon be able to see them and hold them in his arms when they were taken to one of the hospital rooms.

So he tried not to focus too much on what had happened. He tried again to ignore the fact that he was still behind a door and think about how soon everything would return to normal.

He tried hard enough, but the door was still there and when the nurse told him he could visit them in their room, she referred to him as a visitor and not a family member.

His father didn’t seem to mind, but he knew he did. Of course, he did. He was just trying to keep his composure for the sake of his son.

But how could he not mind? How could he be okay with his son having to see his family secretly while the girl's real father hadn't even bothered to call?

How could he be okay when his son had called him desperate because his fiancée and his little girl had had an accident on the way to the paddock? No matter what last name they had, they were his family.

When Lance arrived at the room he felt like he was going to pass out. The wait had been long and exasperating. The not knowing had been almost worse than receiving the news in the first place.

But now nothing mattered anymore. Now he was there and so were they.

“Lancey!” the girl shouted from the bed when she saw the driver at the door.

His fiancée turned around immediately and when she smiled letting him know that everything was fine they both breathed for the first time since the accident.

He almost felt dizzy when he started to breathe normally and his muscles relaxed for the first time in the last two hours. But he walked anyway to the bed, almost running, and to the little girl in there.

He didn’t mind he was still in the team wear, he didn’t care about anything else as he held Lily in his arms.

“Are you ok, baby girl?” he whispered in her hair “Are you ok?” he said as he checked her again and again without letting go of her as he had done with his fiancée before.

“Yeah! They gave me candy because they said I was very brave. But look! They did hurt a lot before” Lily explained while showing Lance the scratches the doctor had already disinfected.

“I am sure you were, baby. That was scary, right?”

“A little. But mommy was with me and she said you were coming to save us”

At that, Lance’s fiancée finally approached them again, letting Lance have his moment with the little girl.

“And he was,” she confirmed while stroking Lance’s back “Lancey was there the whole time”.

But Lily wasn’t happy with that answer. Even if she was well-behaved for an almost six-year-old, she still was a child who didn’t fully understand the grown-up's problems.

“The doctor said you couldn't be with me because you are not my daddy. Is it because I don't call you dad?” Lily asked while she hugged him tighter.

Lance pulled away a little to see her face while they were talking and, from the corner of his eye, he saw how his father moved away from the foot of the bed to let them talk more privately.

“No baby, this isn't your fault. At all.” Lance let her know, firm but loving “You are my good girl, aren’t you?”.

They had already spoken about the “dad” thing before. Her biological father had told her that only he could be dad the last time he saw her a year ago when the girl innocently told him that her mother was going to marry the driver. And Lance hadn't pushed her when his fiancée told him what had happened.

He wanted to, obviously. He dreamed about it most nights. But he understood. And then he forgot he wasn't really her dad. Even when she called him Lancey and he heard her call dad someone she only spoke to once a month over the phone if she was lucky.

Lily left his embrace completely and immediately started crying “I lied” she confessed between tears and whines “I told the doctor I would call you dad but I don't want you to be my dad. I just wanted you with me”.

She cried so hard that a nurse had to come in. Not even her mother could calm him as she cried the same again and again. “Please don't be my dad. Please”.

Lance felt stuck there. He felt like he was again before that door. Useless. Unable to do anything to change the situation over which he had no control.

Lily was high on meds. He could see some still being pumped into her through an IV. That's what he said again and again to himself as he heard his girl begging him to not be her dad.

Lily loved him deeply, almost as much as he did. He knew, he felt her love every day. He knew her love was real even if he didn’t see her some weekends because he was working. He knew she trusted him enough to wake him up when she had a nightmare. He knew she would sleep with them every night if her mom let her. He knew.

However, her cries were there, rejecting him again and again, almost knocking him down with each tear.

“I won't be your dad, Lily. I promise, baby” he said as tears also streamed down his cheeks.

She was holding his hand tightly and used it to wipe her face before speaking again. “I don't want you to be my dad. I want Lancey!” she cried stronger if that was possible.

Her mom got into bed with her as her last effort to calm her down. She was looking at him as he imagined he was looking at her.

However, this was not the time to think about himself. Nothing about that day had anything to do with him. Now he had to think about Lily and her fiancée. He would have time to lick his wounds later.

When the nurse came back again he knew he had to leave before they showed him the door. He may not know how, but he was the cause of her distress. Which was a little bit funny considering he always was her protector before.

“Everything will be alright, Lily. I will let you rest now, baby. I love you” he said kissing her temple and letting go of her hand.

Nevertheless, that didn’t work as he hoped.

“Lancey!” she screamed as she watched him leave.

Even though her mother was holding her, Lily tried to get out of her arms to get out of bed, pulling on the IV and causing the nurse to have to hold it to prevent her from accidentally tearing it out.

“You are not my daddy!” she cried one last time. A scream so heartbreaking that Lance was holding her before he was even aware was going to do it. “Please, don't leave like my dad. I want you to be Lancey forever. My Lancey.”

With that, his fiancée silently cried as she made space for him in the small hospital bed, finally understanding everything. So did Lance’s father, who always knew she was his granddaughter without needing a last name or a title.

Lance didn’t say a word as he lay in bed holding Lily in his chest minding the IV and grabbing his fiancée's hand.

“I will always be your Lancey, Lilybug” he whispered as she finally relaxed in his arms.

“We are going to be alright, love” his fiancée said as she caressed his hand “We don’t need titles to be perfect”.

He just nodded, forgetting everything that didn’t really matter. He forgot the door and the wait too when Lily fell asleep in his chest, safe and sound.

He only let go of them when he remembered the thing he always carried in his wallet close to the picture of the three of them they had taken last year.

Without waking her up, Lance put the dinosaur bandaid on her arm on the tape that held the IV.

His fiancee hugged tighter as he did and he forgot the rest of the day and the fact that Lily wasn't his daughter.

Because he was her Lancey and she will always be her baby. And that was more than many fathers could say.

#f1 #formula 1 #f1 fanfiction #f1 fanfic #formula 1 fanfic #f1 angst #lance stroll #lance stroll fanfic #lance stroll x reader #lance stroll imagine #lance stroll fluff #lance stroll angst #ls18 #ls18 x reader

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