Coomer and a concerning amount of clones go to dairy queen to fuck shit up

Day 91

Coomers back!!!

tribute for those who remember

@neotheaterz said: “if you’re going to keep staring at me like they man…. I’m gonna have to ask you to stop- ‘s like I can feel your evil .. pretty shitty way to say hey to your bestest friend after so long.. rude man freeman- some things just don’t change”

// From benrey for Gordon if that’s okay! :D I crave conflict 💙

     His evil? His evil?! Ohhh Benrey is fucking lucky Gordon's just glaring. When he'd first seen the eldritch asshole after so long assuming them dead he'd instantly raised his arms to Benrey's back, left hand grasping right arm to aim, only to remember in seconds that his right hand is no longer a minigun. Just in time for the bastard to turn around too.      Now they're at an impasse. He can't just leave. God he desperately wants to, anything to get away from one of his nightmares come to life. But they saw him and spoke up. And fucking hell the shit he said...      Now we don't have time to unpack all of that!      But Gordon sure as shit can start somewhere!

     ❝We were never friends!❞ He shouts, exasperation and vitriol bleeding together. ❝Friends don't try to murder each other! They don't—they don't lure someone into a, a fucking trap, to dismember them!❞ Right hand held up for emphasis, the way the forearm looks like the HEV suit a stark contrast to Gordon's casual clothes. ❝And you, you even—❞      Turns around, deep breaths, isn't helping. He's pissed beyond belief but it's also covering the more pressing issue; fear. And dammit he can't even look away from Benrey cause that's way too familiar, a haunting presence in a Black Mesa hallway, feeling watched as he tries to sneak through, last-ditch plan to not die a gruesome death at the hands of an interdimensional monster and he's terrified, and then the giant head—      Nope, fuck, can't do this.      Whirls back around with the same glare. Better to keep him in sight.

     ❝Y'know,❞ he starts, voice shaky, hands clenched as he tries to steady himself, project an air of confidence and disapproval. God only knows if it does any good. ❝if you don't like me staring there's a real easy way to fix that. Leave. Just go. Just—fucking, get outta here, man. Go be an—an undead asshole somewhere else.❞

How did the fans recover from this canonically happening

cw: somnophilia, noncon, blowjob, masturbation, reader has oral fixation. MDNI.

Coomer!König is such a disgusting menace :((

He uses you when you're most vulnerable, looking all pretty when you're fast asleep. His soft cock rests in your mouth for what seems like forever, slowly hardening when you subconsciously start sucking on it like it's your thumb, your wet tongue applying pressure on his meaty shaft, almost making him cum.

He's forced to pull out once he starts getting harder, not wanting you to wake up just yet. With the same stealth he uses in the battlefield, his massive body mounts you carefully, heavy balls resting on your parted lips while his hand ran up and down his needy cock, muffled whimpers leaving his lips.

König is cocky and confident— that much is obvious by the way he starts to thrust his hips, smearing precum all over your pretty, sleeping face.

His rough, calloused hand rubs every single inch of his long, thick cock, squeezing it to the point it almost hurts while he imagines he's fucking your tight, wet throat. His free hand holds open your lips, blown eyes staring at your welcoming mouth and hoping one day you'll let him fuck it.

“Fuck, fuck—” König is quick to bite his lip, trying to stay quiet and not let all the filth he wants to tell you from escaping his mouth. Rope after rope of thick, hot cum is shot on your waiting tongue, the corners of his lips tilting up when he sees you scrunch up your face and swallow it all.

If you're still taking requests, I'd love to see Boomer art of Coomer being overjoyed that they didn't just disappear when the game was over and Bubby having no god damn idea what he's on about. (yes, i've written this myself. Gotta do something a little shameless every day.)

Sweet old people :)) 🧪

gooner boys are so cute, deathgripping their spent cocks to degenerate porn, slowly melting their brains for their next dopamine rush. and that sound they make when they're about to orgasm, that "nnngh," the way their eyes cross and their entire bodies tense up--the way their legs shake.

i love when you're having sex with one and they can't control their voice when they're cumming, so their moans sound so gay and feminine. when you're sucking their dick so well they can't keep up that stoic display, and you hear that high "ahh, ahh." the best is when they're too sensitive after they've came, and even brushing your fingers on their balls makes them squirm.

telling them they're not allowed to cum until you do, and they have to stop every three minutes so they don't finish inside you. the way their cocks leak cum after they've finished, and they get so sensitive when you clean them up with your tongue.

i always had the fantasy of walking in on some coomer degenerate loser jacking off, and forcing him to continue while I degrade him or make him give me head. i'd love to make fun of him for the cringey porn he watches, and for how perverted he is for jerking off with someone else in the house.

i'd love to make him worse, giving him a strict quota for how many times he needs to orgasm to please me. reducing a guy to such a brainless pervert he needs to cum five times a day to be satisfied. fucking with his brain until he can't stop cumming too early and he can't get hard. ruining him until his jerk-off sessions take longer and longer, until he's spending half the day cumming into tissues. destroying him until i'm the last girl he'd ever be able to satisfy.

List of every single manufacturer and how they honestly are

@autos-official: the one time we colonize something it went... bad. There is a reason for why we are SEVERLY against any misrepresentation of hercynian culture/history... We were the firemen once. But what we fought was not from this world. Ans so we cannot pity them. In our hubris we came out saying "never again" and we're the only ones remembering our vows. We hope that Project 118/Uuo is never brought to light again. And if it is... lets hope nobody figures out how it works. Also AUTOS-NEOS replaces "esoteric" for "rugged" if you want our brand but you want a mech that isnt... paracasualty on legs (LISTEN OUR ENGINEERS AND ARCHITECTS HAVE THEIR PROBLEMS ALREADY LEAVE THEM ALONE 🥺)

@general-massive-systems: you want a mech that, while boring, at least isnt Fucked Up 69 Ways From SecComm? Good then youre stuck with GMS. I mean, respect for sticking to the roots but come on you gotta agree the non-bullshit things cant be all GMS

@officialunionhr: finally! Someone actually giving a shit about the civilians!

@harrison-armory-official: look, your mechs are cool and all, but come the fuck on cant you at least PRETEND to be better than your past? Or at least make a mech that isnt one hot day away from a meltdown???

@ssc-official: half of your mechs are ONE HULL PERSONALIZATION AWAY (which is avaiable at LICENSE LEVEL FUCKING ZERO) from being straight outta R34. Seriously i get "sleek and elegant design" but HALF OF YOUR MECHS HAVE CHILD BEARING HIPS. HALF OF YOUR FANS ARE COOMERS AND YOU WONT ACCEPT IT A-

@ips-northstar-official: you guys are... somewhat cool i guess??? I mean, all that weird pirate shit has been a thorn in your side for like, a century or two too many. I would ask Union to check if someone in the chain of command is doing shady shit about pirates. Seriously.

@horus-unofficial: i get the NHP relationships but uhm... guys, with all due respect. Dont unleash unshackled NHPs on somewhere inhabited. Like maybe when its someone about to "Reference SecComm" but other than that... why would you? Also that whole "lich licenses have always been there" thing is bullshit. UPDATE👏YOUR👏FUCKING👏SOFTWARE

@hra-official: N̴͚̭̙O̥̽̔͠B͓̊̅̀Ǫ̶̲͇ͫ̂̈Ḑ̸̌͏Y͟ ̨͛͗̕͞T̴̻ͧͪͯ̀O̙Ų̰̣̩̓̊̕͜Ĉ̷͔̹́͘H̷̥̘̳̽̔ O͔͕͒͗U̶̧̥̍ͭ́R͖̩͔̓͑́͢ ̸̪͊ͣ̈́͘͝B͚͍̄U҉̛G ̳̰͆B͉͖̠҉Ǫ̕͏Y̹͕͎S̶̅ͤ͝ ̱̾̀͜O̧̪̫̜̔̃R̴̷̤͔͓̂ͫ͋̀ ̧͇̦̆S̵͈̟̾̿ͬ̕O̿͢ ̤̰̯̓̽͡҉͡H̴̢̤͖͐ͯͣ͠E̜̫̍ͫͬ͘͡L̘ͫͅ҉Ṗ̵̢ͨ͘ ̛̿Ỹ̶̴͒ͮ͞O̟͔̻͠Ü̡̧͈̙ ͖R̟̝ͅẢ̷̷̤̖͈/̞̹̇M̎̏̄Eͯ͟T̷͖͛̚͞Ạ͠T̮ͨ͆ͪ ̶̳AͮÙ̸̧N̪͓̐҉̀/̹̝̭̌ ̨̯ͭ́ͥW͟H̯͚҉̸̧Aͬ͘͠T̈́̈͌҉͏E̡ͣ̑́͜Ṿ̢̦̱ͯE̶̩̩̞̎͟R̢͙ͫ͗͟͠ ̺͙̋̐"̷̃͗M̴̹͎ͯ͢͞O̢͎̙̩͟͝N̵͎͈͊̍͡͡I̩̣S̵̙̟̟̐ͧ̓͝T͔͚͘ͅ"̓̽͢ ̟̤͕͑̊ͣY̨̧̧͆O̩̝͡U̢͖̝ͣͦ͡ ̝̓͢͡K̵̾͑͢Ńͦ́Ơ̄͗̊W͔̼̠͛̈́̀͠ ̶̬̑͞͝O̵͔̿̚͡F̵̴̞ͩ̓̕ ̛̺̖̙̂́͠͡I̴̢͕̤̕ ̷̧̞̎̕W̡̨̟͙̥͑̇ͧ͢I̻͓ͥ҉̨̕L͇̗̤͜͏L̐ͅ ̗ͭ̎͋B̨̡͑̋́R͊ͩͩÏ̡̛͖̭̌Ñ̳̥͕̔ͯG̽̉ͥ ͋͐͘҉O͏̕͢N̲͍̓̾҉̧͘T̵̸͠Ŏ̭̑ͦ͢ ̻͔̰͐͌Ỳ̛̤̓̈́O̠̪Uͪ̈́̆͢͏͏ ̫͋̾ͮẆ͉̠̅́H̨̛̭͝A̡̨̠̹ͩ̂̚͜T̢̈́ͯ̎͏̀ ͔̩͍H͙̖͝͞ÄP̳͙̿ͅP̝E̙̎͐̈N͈̪͟E̾̎̕̕D̹̻͢͜ ̯̟͐̈̀T̸̴̵̏O̷̢̜͖̥ ̵̤̼̆͒̕͜Ṯ̉͢H̷ͯE̟͍̩Ṃ̡͉̬ͭ̊ͤ͞͝ ̟̳͔͋HŬ̷̑̾N̨͙̈́̚D̓ͨͧR̶͓҉Ȩ̸̳͖̜̅̋͝Ḑ̓̓ͯ͡͠-̩ͤ̋ ͚̩̪ͫ̐͐͏͟N̫͚ͬ̿҉Ŏ̼͈̝ͧ͒ ̡̬͚A̶̳̻̣̐̔ ͋͑͠T̼̲̕͢H̸̾̍͝Ó͐҉͠͝U̡̧͞S͓̩̔A̸̅͡Ṉ̮͔̈́̑͂̀͏̡D͕́-̚҉̶͠F̧̂̕O͏̡͡L̍D̢̢ͭ̉ͤ ̴̤̫̙Y̵̨ͣ̄O̺͙͟͏͡U̹̍͑҉ ̟̜F̷̵̙͋̅͂͜Ū̸̖̠͛͏C̬̗̭̑̾͊͏̕͜K͈̕̕͠I̡̥͆̈̓ͅ͏͢Ṋ̖́͢G̛̍̕ ̱̰͘Ğ͇̬̣̂E̷͍̤͝N̖̖̓ͤO̦̲̙C͙̼͓ͯĬ̵̳̖͉ͫ̓̀͟D̴̹̐̑A͙͙ͫ͐́̕͜Ľ ̶̯̹͈CͪƯ̡̘̻̖͒̑Ņ̨̗̘͇͞-̧̧̣ͪͪ̑͡

@albatross-lancer: on one hand, if it wasnt for you the Incident wouldnt have been solved and the galaxy would have been in SLIGHT danger. On the other, over 50% of all albatross NSFW on the omninet is because of some of our workers having "art" as an hobby. Yeah, union owes us HARD for all those "erogenous pinup calendars of albatross pilots" and all because most of the staff wants to be wished away to Greener Pastures by a foreign, strong pilot that also saves worlds from oppression... bridal carried to a cottage to be manhandled and bre- UH WE MEAN YOU GUYS ARE COOL AND ARE MORE NEEDED THAT YOU THINK YOU ARE :)

I work in construction and have to let you know that after seeing HLVRAI, every time I see a hole or a pit or a rope I instantly hear Dr. Coomer. It’s just constantly there plaguing me for the rest of the day. It’s hilarious and thought you would like the fact that I have been cursed by Dr. Coomer. Love your work btw!

This happens to me too. Every time I have a chuckle at my own brain for being a little on the nose LOL

Thank you for the kind words. I hope Doctor Bubby keeps you so humongous safe on the job site.

ROUND 1, MATCH 26

NO MAGIC, POWERS, OR WEAPONS

Dr. Coomer:

“i… don’t think he would win.”

“HELLO, GORDON!”

Floyd Leech:

“If he stays in human form and has no mage stones, he's just Some Guy, so he still qualifies. This mafia motherfucker would FIGHT. One time when faced with a monster, everyone else was like "oh no, we need magic" and he was like "nah, let's punch it" and then he DID. He hasn't used his pointy teeth in canon yet, but he could in theory bite someone if necessary, and it would hurt like a bitch. He'd fight dirty, I just know it. Let him punch everything and then get punched in the face, it'd be so great.”

“This guy is a menace who almost never uses weapons or tools to terrorize people. He's strong and athletic, smart enough to get what he wants on a whim, and squeezes contract-breakers until they faint on a regular basis.”

“NOTE: Floyd is a magic boy, but the “no mage stone” thing is there because it means he won’t be able to use magic, because people in Twisted Wonderland can’t without accumulating deadly magic toxin unless they have the stones. He’s also a merman, but he’d be in his human form. His human form does have pointy teeth (like the anime character kind) but I’m not sure if they have any real effect in game other than to intimidate people. Other people in this game have them too who are allegedly “human.” And again, plenty of “human” anime characters have them. Myfeeling is that they shouldn’t be disqualifying on their own.  This game is about magic boys at a magic school, but don’t worry, they get into traditional fist-fights so often it’s literally a randomly generated event that can happen in your Guest Room space. And Floyd Leech would never use magic in a fist-fight. He’d think that was “no fun” or “totally lame.” His signature magical spell just nullifies other people’s magic that targets him… so he can fight them with his fists. Since no one else here has magic, it’s totally irrelevant.  Also I’m not sure he uses fists so much as he does something to his opponents that he describes as “squeezing” them. I don’t know entirely what he means by that when he’s in his human form, but how much it scares the faceless NPC students indicates to me that he’s found a way to make it work. I do know it’s supposed to have a whole mafia vibe to it. Because his dad (and his childhood friend he lowkey sort-of works for) have real mafia boss energy. And Floyd’s basically decided that if he’s going to do this mafia shtick it’s Capo or bust. Floyd doesn’t always feel like doing stuff, due to his wildly unpredictable mood swings, but it honestly seems like the thing he can most easily be convinced to do is beat the shit out of people. During the “Beanfest” event (which was somewhat analogous to a paintball match), he insisted on throwing his weapon away and beating up aforementioned childhood friend even though the game was over and he’d already lost, just because apparently “once Floyd has decided to fight nothing can be done about it" and you just have to fight him if you want to get on with the rest of your day. He’d started out that event “not really in the mood” but somehow ended up spending the entire day beating the hell out of every person he ran into. In the camping event, when all of the boys were being picked off by a monster in the woods one at a time and were panicking because they didn’t have magestones or cellphones and therefore couldn’t defend themselves with magic or call an adult for help, Floyd was literally just like “why don’t we just beat the shit out of it?” And then he DID. And it was awesome.  But before you think he’s just some sort of dumb thug, let me assure you that Floyd is actually one of Night Raven’s most intelligent students. He has a photographic memory and can create valuable gems in alchemy class with minimal effort. Unfortunately, his mood swings make it impossible for him to maintain a decent GPA. But he’s actually a smart, tactical fighter. He’s just violent and unstable. Oh and if you’re wondering, his personality is generally abrasive and confrontational. He regularly starts arguments with the most volatile people at the school, just to mess with them and see where it goes because he’s bored.  Finally, if it sweetens the deal for anyone, Floyd would wear some killer designer shoes to this fight. Don’t worry, they wouldn’t be dangerous/weaponized. They’d just be expensive and custom made. You know, so he can get upset when someone scuffs them up.  Like for real, is there anyone who deserves to be in a crazy bitch fist-fight more than a moody mafia prince who’s secretly some sort of genius, but seems to only truly love fighting and designer footwear? If there is, I can’t think of them. ”

ur timeline post is insane and fantastic do the others have a grasp on or figure out, or even believe, that the prime timeline is just that—the original? or is that just the naming system? how would they react to that sort of explanation? who wants to return to their timeline first/is that the goal overall for any of them? :’0

to preface, i tend to use timeline/universe interchangeably.. ok . long post time. be warned.

1. do the others understand they're in the prime timeline?

as of right now, this system uses "interuniversal" passports planted on everybody by gee-man as they enter the prime timeline. this was to get around the problem of people having the same name. I love freemanverse but i could not understand how they came to the conclusions of accepting our third-party naming conventions. why would freemind call himself freemind when his name is gordon freeman? martini (who can go by his middle name) doesn't get the "feetman" name joke until way later, so calling him that off the bat would be weird (his passport changes  from gordon "martini" freeman to gordon "martini" feetman when the feet pic bit occurs). No one's name is ACTUALLY barmey, mindrian, freerun, freemercy, etc... but it is on the passport! and they use these names when referring to each other.

okay, so. the naming thing was the main function of the passport, but it has other standard information on it

Dates of birth - explanatory

date issued - release date of their IN REAL LIFE series (I.e Gordon is Nov 19 1998)

date expired - res cas day according to the prime timeline

(These three dates are often conflicting and confusing, which is as intended. They all exist in different years BUT the events of their universes are taking place at the same time. Timelines are synced up.)

AND THEN! place of origin. Every timeline gets assigned a number based on when they were chronologically conceived (for the most part. it's not a strict rule. it can be bent for convenience or funny/cool purposes).

ips: 000

og gordon: 001

freemind: 002

gorgeous: 003

so on and so forth. i like to pair these letters with numbers (HL-001, M-002 (M, not FM, because it's "Mindverse."*) G-003, etc)  seeing as HL-001 is One, they can come to the conclusion themselves that it's the "prime" timeline. whether they ACTUALLY call it that is debatable. i just do it because star trek does, but this requires a more "robust" naming system since it's more than just "prime," "alternative," and "mirror."

*Mindverse technically has alternative timelines too, but we're going with the one where gordon enters the test chamber (not stark) and gordon would've been taken by g-man (not felix)

2. How would they react to that sort of explanation?

Everything is very overwhelming and nonsensical. Since the collisions take place (for the most part) over the course of the rescas, most of them are too stressed to try to fully grasp the situation. They have their interuniversal passports, which just materialized on their person/with their belongings when they get sucked into the prime timeline, so they know SOMETHING IS UP. Some care more than others, like Freemind and Martini (not a game au) both freak out. Freemind probably thinks he's high for a bit even though he doesn't FEEL high. Martini thinks he's going crazy or hit his head, which doesn't help when the science team acts like this is a perfectly normal thing (while it's not a game, they all have their "npc" quirks). The science team is also the narrative vessel which can help explain the phenomenon. emphasis on can. Coomer understands the framework, while Tommy has a more intimate knowledge. But neither explain anything too quickly. Coomer wants playcoins and Tommy would acknowledge the "glitching" and correctly identify it as dangerous and warn the others about it.

The timeline information is accepted. There's not much they can do. They're in an alternate universe? Ok. Well, first things first, don't die from rescas. It's not until later that the information is DIGESTED. This would be during any downtime they have while going through Black Mesa (think how the HLVRAI crew took the occasional nap) and then when they enter the domestic arc. For the most part, everyone thinks that they've somehow JUMPED universes, not that their universe and another have collided together. I guess this could be considered a "plot twist" and if I was writing a comic (comic ver 2.5!) there would be a somber moment where everyone who cares realizes that THIS is there home now. it's familiar and unfamiliar. they know it but they don't. No one is devastated, but it's a very aimless feeling. Characters like Freerun, Gorgeous, Freecat, and Freemercy are "emotionally detached"   from their timelines, so their reactions range from not caring to easily adjusting.

3. who wants to go home and is that an overall goal?

I think Martini, Freemind, and Cicero would all want to go home, Martini more urgently since he has Joshie. No one really understands the depth that Cicero wants to go home due to language barrier, but it is assumed. Freemind wants to go home moreso out of paranoia that being in a different universe was harmful to him on a molecular/quantum level (it's not) and that having multiple of him around is WEIRD and he wanted to go back to being the one-and-only while reveling in the fact he was cosmically significant enough to have parallel universes based on him.

Everyone makes the assumption that there is a home to return to. Their first goal is to survive the rescas. Once they get through that, they awkwardly all move in together (where else are they supposed to go?). This living situation is considered temporary... but.. it's not.

(malmo by mook is one of THE freemanverse songs no i do not take criticism)

Their expectations are curbed quickly. At this point one of the gmen (likely mr.coolatta or gee-man) or tommy would just come out and say yeah there is no other (relevant) universe. it's just this one now. (the merging process is... difficult to explain so I'm not going  to try right now. maybe later..). Cicero wanted to go home because people understood them there and thats where all his friends were. but Molly and others (sugar man , corp) are here now, and his new friends are making the effort to break the language gap. Martini wanted his son and he got his son. Freemind has an actual group of people who care about and support him, something he's not used to having (and barmey is there too. giggles. grins.). No one is particularly upset at learning the prime timeline was now also THEIR timeline since their . liek. hierarchy of needs gets filled. it's like if your house burned down but it didnt ACTUALLY burn down, it just FEELS like it did, and then there was an exact copy in its place with miniscule (but noticeable) differences. like something changed and there's a feeling of loss but you actually haven't lost anything. it's sobering and might be upsetting for a little bit, but it's also familiar and comforting. its ok. they all have gained something now. f... family. found family . grins. smiles even.

HELLO EVERYONE!

Might be taking a hiatus for a bit for mental health stuff. DON’T WORRY, I’M NOT ENDING THE BLOG! Things will continue in a while, just not sure when. Will see you all then!

(6th May 2023)

i’m sorry but i also have cheesy sappy soft thoughts that pair with this: 

gordon has always had the worst luck with plants & has avoided trying to grow anything for a while because his plant kill count just keeps increasing. but 1 day while visiting the coomers’, dr. coomer was in his garden like “hello gordon! why don’t you help me plant these strawberry seeds?” & gordo was like “uh no probably not a good idea—i kill every plant i touch.” and dr. coomer was like “nonsense! everybody has the capability to grow something wonderful. come, let me show you…” so gordon visits the coomers’ garden everyday to take of this little strawberry plant with dr. coomer’s help until the day comes when the strawberries are ripe & ready for harvest & gordon is SO excited. he brings benrey to show him what he did & they try the strawberries together & gordon is so proud & benry is even prouder. the end. 🍓🍓

btw this is inspired by ep 3 of the last of us show (aka the only ep ive actually seen oops)

In light of the trailer dropping and my angst brain never being able to shut up, I'm thinking about what would have happened when everyone realizes that Gordon isn't coming back.

How do you think that could have gone? Like, yeah, Coomer would have been estatic that they didn't vanish, and surely Gordon was going to come back any day now with a new announcement that he figured out how to move them, or they'd wake up in a new place, or something, but then every day is just the same.

How do you think they all reacted when the walls started to crumble? When the grass took over the tiles? When the glass cracked purely from it just being so long?

How long until the others gave up hope?

In the trailer, Dr Coomer sounds like he's still trying to reach out to Gordon, so are the others still clinging to that hope that he'll be back? How much longer can they wait? Clearly they can't just sit around waiting, their world is changing and if they don't wanna get killed to death by the Combine they've gotta move. But when did they finally give in and realize that?

How long were they at that Chuck E Cheese for?

I hope I'm not late to the fan statement thing but either way I wanted to try making some-

"Old Unknown Friend" - statement of Madoka Kaname about her classmate's strange behavior (PMMM ; Stranger/Spiral?)

"It's Okay To Run Away" - statement of Mafuyu Asahina about her relationship with her mother (Project Sekai ; Desolation/Lonely)

"Zero" - statement of Suzaku Kururugi regarding events of years 2017-2018 a.t.b. (Code Geass ; Eye/Web/Slaughter)

"Frozen Solid" - statement of Noelle Holiday about getting stronger (Deltarune ; Web/Desolation?)

"Bomb Rush Blush" - statement of Callie Cuttlefish about mind control (Splatoon ; Web)

"Hand of Galochio" - statement of Razputin Aquato about his fear of water (Psychonauts ; Vast)

"There's Nothing There" - statement of Dr. Harold Pontiff Coomer regarding his realisation (HLVRAI ; Vast)

"The Loser Looks In The Eyes Of The Monster" - statement of Yuri Beletski about a friend he made at a party (PAFL ; Flesh)

"Day of Unity" - statement of Luz Noceda about a nearly realized extinction event (TOH ; Extinction)

"Attached At The Hip" - statement of Looks To The Moon about her and her brother's deterioration (Rain World ; Vast/End)

"Sins of The Mother" - statement of Steven Universe about his life (SU ; Vast/Slaughter/Desolation)

"Just Shapes" - statement of Mae Borowski regarding her dreams (NITW ; Vast/Spiral)

"Completing the Mission" - statement of Henry Stickmin regarding different timelines (THSC ; End/Spiral)

"Disease and Cure" - statement of Clara [surname unknown] about a plague caused by her supposed twin (Pathologic ; Corruption/Stranger)

"Let's All Quit The Internet" - statement of Ame [surname redacted] about her failed streamer career (Needy Streamer Overload ; Spiral)

"We're Not Done Playing Yet" - statement of Wendy [surname redacted] about the death of her twin (Don't Starve ; End)

"Potato Battery" - statement of Chell [surname redacted] regarding her participation in the Aperture Science Testing Initiative (Portal ; Buried)

"Formerly The Last One Standing" - statement of Natsuki [surname redacted] about deja vu (DDLC ; Spiral/End)

"The End Is Never The End" - statement of Stanley [surname redacted] regarding the voice narrating his life (Stanley Parable ; Web/Spiral)

"Exit Door" - statement of [redacted] about being stuck in a video game (TADC ; Spiral/Buried)

"Taste of Failure" - statement of [redacted] about an island expedition gone wrong (Bugsnax ; Corruption/Buried)

"Floor After Floor" - statement of [redacted] about a long elevator ride with a coworker (Elevator Hitch ; ...every entity)

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i want to send you my hlvrai hcs but unfortunately all i do all day every day is rotate a png of benrey around in my brain for 24 hours. that being said here are some pronouns. of course you have science and pronouns. thats nothing. anyways

benny he/they/it but like. if he doesn't like you they'll say you're misgendering them no matter what you use and then it'll bite you. and also if it does like you they'll also bite you but affectionately.

bubby any pronouns EXCEPT he/she/they/it. ONLY non-conventional and neopronouns. maybe even no pronouns, only name. dr coomer's wifesband. huswif. the two of them use random mashups and its always different :]

dr coomer took her wife's pronouns in the divorce. he/she/they/it

love Tommy collecting neopronouns like beyblades.

gman He/Him like god. godman. He'll yell at you if you don't capitalize it, which most of the science team understands, but gordon doesn't. "THIS IS A VERBAL CONVERSATION?????" "yeah and you didnt capitalize the h. mr freeeeeman."

joshua growing up around the science team and not really understanding gender or pronouns because of it. his teacher is like "your kid keeps calling other kids 'it' in the classroom and it's very disrespectful, please come to this meeting with me." and then they see joshie's dad, (who she knows) with a guy who's clearly an alien, a cyborg, a guy who could be normal but for xer anime-ass glasses sharp teeth and might actually be on fire, a very tall child with a propeller hat who is GLOWING???, and a guy who is so ominous they can't even look at Him. and theyre just like "ok nvm i see."

i love coomer and bubby having fun awesome pronouns yay but GMAN IS FUCKING KILLING ME. GORDON FREEMANS ENDLESS NIGHTMARE