#But I feel it | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

rainbowcolored7 · 2 years

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Okay okay okay, I know I'm probably off the rails here, and this might only matter to me, but hear me out... I know there have been a few deep looks into the Kinn-Porsche-Vegas scene at the spa from ep.4, which were wonderful, but they spoke mostly of Kinn and Vegas. (Rightfully so, the shots were focused mainly on them). I haven't seen anyone really delve into Porsche in this scene, and if someone has and I missed it I'm sorry! Please point me in the direction if someone has because I would love to read it.

I, for some ungodly reason, can't let this scene go when it pertains to Porsche in particular. Maybe it's because I can relate to Porsche a lot, it's easier for me to get inside his head than it is Kinn or Vegas. Maybe I'm projecting a bit, but I do my best to stay unbiased when it comes to analyzing any type of media. So, I'm going to try and dig into this scene a bit more, coming at it from the POV of Porsche.

What really grabbed my attention the most about this scene, beside the obvious, is just how quiet Porsche is through the entire scene. He quite literally doesn't say a single word the entire time. I kept asking myself why? Why is he so subdued here? It's so uncharacteristic of him to not have something to say, big or small.

I've seen people say he's clueless, confused, that the d/s elements are beginning to come into play. All of which I simultaneously agree with and don't. To me, it felt like there was more going on here. I've said that Porsche is smarter than he lets on, that we joke about him being a single braincelled himbo, but that truly he's got a lot going on in his head all the time. Just like Kinn, he's good (if not better) at hiding what he's really thinking and feeling. So, of course, I couldn't just take this scene at face value from his POV. I needed more.

From the start, after he finally wakes, he seems tired, a little out of it. Don't blame him, he's essentially coming back from a bout of heat stroke. (Kinn, really? Rude...) He's probably feeling tired, relaxed, thirsty, hungry etc. He looks like he could go for a nice ass nap even though he just woke up from being passed out. But he's coming to, he's talking, he's engaging.

But as soon as Vegas enters it's almost as if he shuts down? He's polite, which isn't a surprise after his last interaction with Macau (and then again after Vegas lit his smoke, he's friendly and polite). He's clearly learned his lesson when it comes to the minor family. (Well, at least when it comes to manners, if nothing else).

It's a short moment before Kinn enters the room as well, but even before that happens Porsche doesn't appear interested in engaging with Vegas. His focus is on the food, his head down, a polite half-smile on his face for a second. His body language is showing me he doesn't want any part of any conversation Vegas might want to have. Of course, this could have to do with what Kinn said on the balcony, but even then it still felt off to me.

So, I went back through the last few eps to see if I could pinpoint any moment where Porsche was similarly quiet and/or had similar body language/facial expressions. There were a few, and the correlating feelings and emotions spoke volumes to me.

The first moment was when Porsche finds Kinn at the bar in ep.1, long line of bodyguards, sitting pretty, and waiting for him. From the moment Porsche walks in the bar he's quiet, evaluating the threat (I notice every single time how he looks at the bodyguards and then touches his bruised ribs like he's taking stock and preparing to have to fight). Kinn is doing most of the talking. Porsche is observing, he's nervous, he's uncomfortable. Kinn is gently threatening him, throwing his power and pull in Porsche's face. Porsche's questions and remarks are short and to the point, but other than that he's silent and his expressions and body language scream threat, uncomfortable, maybe even a little afraid.

The next moment I pulled was right after Big kicks Porsche to the floor during the compound tour. Chan steps in, and all of Porsche's playful bravado disappears. He's being directly and indirectly reprimanded by Chan, he's out of his depth. He's already feeling like he's been backed into a corner and his hand has been forced, and now it's being shoved in his face again, in front of all the other guards no less!

Anyone who's had a first day at a new job can relate to the overwhelming feelings Porsche is probably feeling here. If I were Porsche I'd have pit stains so big I'd need a new shirt. He tried to assert his dominance and was quickly denied, shoved in line. His shifting gaze speaks highly of feeling incredibly uncomfortable, a similarity to his constant shifting gaze in the food-spa scene.

Before moving on to the next scene I pinpointed, I want to point out that, regardless of when Porsche is feeling uncomfortable or out of his element, he doesn't always appear this way. Looking back at it now, it actually kind of throws me a bit how brash he is when he goes to speak with daddy Korn. Even then, not feeling fully in control and in totally new territory, he still manages a quip or two. He holds his own, he tests some buttons, respectfully. Out of everyone you would think Porsche would remain quiet for, you would think Korn would be one of the tops, but it wasn't. Curious? Maybe.

The next couple scenes don't really fit in so much, but I wanted to add them because they're good examples of showing Porsche feeling incredibly uncomfortable and quite literally a fish out of water, which can be compared to potential feelings he's having during the food-spa scene. Both of these scenes he is silent in. He's been called out, he's been humiliated. He has nothing to say (that he can get away with unscathed that is), and he's actively trying not to dig himself a into a deeper hole than he already has.

Again, sidenote, the scene in ep.2 where Macau goes crying to daddy and big bro, before Kinn puts Porsche down, he is very brash and blasé. I believe this speaks heavily to him still not taking anything seriously, not believing his life or anyone else's is in true danger. After this his behavior begins to change, and we begin to see him trying to understand and taking things a bit more seriously. (Even with Tankhun he's actively trying to get better, he's doing his best to make good of a shitty fucking situation).

So, the next moment where I recognized some similarities in expression/silence/body language is the scene where Kinn has ordered Mes to be beaten to talk.

Here he is again, out of his element, in the exact place he never thought he would be. He's uncomfortable, he's upset, triggered by his memories of his uncle and his past, as confided in with Pete. He's trying to fit into this new role he's been forced into and he's struggling. (And I will quite literally never get over how Kinn makes Pete take him out after seeing how upset he is).

So, this brings us back to the food-spa scene. After Kinn enters the room Porsche's gaze is constantly and consistently sliding over to Kinn. For insight? For acknowledgment? For direction? What is Porsche feeling here?

He's been having another day, for sure. He's been trying to piece together what happened the night before, he's been trying to make sense of Kinn's odd behavior towards him the whole day. (This is still before he remembers that Kinn kissed him on the pier). He's here, sitting with two major players in the Theerapanyakul family after having a very genuine and intimate conversation with Kinn in the sauna. He passed out in his boss's lap, he's probably feeling very off, confused, perhaps just a bit fed up with the entire day.

Both Vegas and Kinn are essentially having a conversation with/about Porsche, but clearly not actually wanting any input from Porsche himself. Porsche is obviously annoyed by this (who wouldn't be? Geez boys), having Kinn speak for him, but he still allows it, without his usual quips, without his usual foot in mouth expression. Is it Vegas' presence, is it Kinn?

Comparing all the previous scenes to this one, I would say Porsche is once again feeling backed into a corner. He's feeling like he has no control, no choice, no voice, no agency. He's tired, he's trying to remain polite because he knows what dangers it could cause if he's himself right now. This whole conversation is about him, something I don't think goes over his head, and he is writhing with annoyance about it. He's uncomfortable, he's out of his element again, almost like he's back where he started. Except this time, when he wants to say something, he can't, and I think it's really bothering him. He's not used to not being able to speak his mind openly.

This... Was a very long-winded way of saying hey, Porsche was uncomfy during this scene, not lacking a braincell. There you go, there's the summary of this this word-vomit lol.

I'd love to hear anyone else's thoughts on this! I had more to say but I'm a bottle of wine in and losing the ability to form real coherent thoughts after spending basically my entire evening fleshing this out.

Thanks for reading, if you got all the way to the end! 💜

#kinnporsche #imm mates #kp meta #kinnporsche meta #kinnporsche the series #y'all i really don't know #why this scene got to me so bad #but it did #and so here we are #i hope it makes sense #i could very well just be talking out my ass #but i FEEL it #I having SO MANY FEELINGS #idk #enjoy?#my words

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