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yesyourstalker · 5 months

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Mahi: hello?

Neta: Hey Mahi don't come into work today. Don't come into work tomorrow or the day after that.

Mahi: Why what's happening?

Neta: *sigh* turn on the news..... I swear it's always me.

News channel: salmonoids have invaded the barnacle and dime mall. We advise everyone to steer clear of the surrounding area. Volunteers and employees of the grizz-co company must arrive as soon as possible to fix the issue. We will keep you all updated on further information we'll receive. In other news is turf war...... ruining our kids education??

Mhai: holy shit!! The whole mall is flooded!!.... Thank fuck we're on the second floor!!

Neta: *sigh*.............. We're still going to get damaged..... The mall is going to smell like salmon shit for weeks........ Anyway I got to head out. I just got my slop suit.

Mahi: what you work for grizz-co??

Neta: No, I'm volunteering. I just want to protect my store! I work way too hard just for it to go-

Cirrina: Aunt Candi's here can we go?!

Neta: yeah I'm coming Sweetie! Yeah I got to head out. Bye.

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Mahi: mizole babe, let's go.

Mizole: We're going to raid Neta's apartment?

Mahi: yep

* texting *

Mahi: Warabi get up our boss is not home let's break in

Warabi: can't Neta is making me do a shift at Grizz's I'm getting overtime

Mahi: :/ fine is Baja still there?

Warabi: you mean my boyfriend ;p <3

Mahi:..[typeing]..... [Typing].................. Yee

Warabi: no he's with me

Mahi:.... [Typing]........ [Typing]..... Ok

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Mizole: you know I expected his place to be a lot shittier......

Mahi: Right? I expected it to be like some sort of depression cave or something.

Mizole: hmm.... So what do you do anyway when you're here?

Mahi: nothing much. Watch TV, play his Nintendo, eat his leftovers, go through his shit........ find some really nice stuff. I took a nice t-shirts and a pair of his old sneakers. They don't fit but they're really nice....... There's a lot of interesting stuff if you look for it.

Mizole:...........hm..... .. If I take the base do you think he's going to notice?

Mahi: put that down. I'm not planning on attending your funeral if you do something stupid.

Mizole: boooooo Mahi stop being such a killjoy I thought you said we can steal whatever we want.

Mahi: I meant stuff he won't miss!

Mizole: what's in this drawer- UH!.....uhhahahahahahahahha! how about this?! You think he'll notice this being gone?!

Mahi: *slams close* I didn't see that! I'm erasing that from my memory. lets go down stairs.

Mizole: hehehehe....I mean it'll be funny-

Mhai: SHUT UP!.......... I saw nothing!...... Let's go.

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Mizole: *eating * so.......... Baja. I guess he's here to stay?

Mahi: ugh yeah.. I guess....... He got a job at the Annaki store and is planning on moving here. ..... Pffth

Mizole: Hey, I mean if we're lucky the salmons will destroy the mall and he'll be out of the job.

Mahi: I'll be out of the job too.

Mizole: you got me, don't you? Heheh.. [kiss]

Mahi: I want my own money.........

Mizole: you don't like Baja?

Mahi: It's not that I don't like him...I like him, he's cool. It's fun to boss him around and tell him what to do. Since he's getting close to Warabi....*eating* They're dating now.......... He's going to be around more often.

Mizole: knowing Warabi. It'll probably be 2 months

Mahi:hehe...... What if Baja wants to move in? We have to buy another mattress... He won't be next to me.. What if Warabi wants to move out again? I'll be here by myself........ again........ what if he forgets me and replaces me with Baja.? A taller better looking vers-

Mizole: *eating* Babe shut up that's not going to happen. Ok? Warabi loves you. He's not just going to replace you with that weenie. I mean look at him....... Look at him Mahi! You can punch him in the face and he'll probably apologize to you! You worry too much babe you'll be fine....... And besides if he moves out you can move in with me.

Mahi: really?... Are we really at that stage?

Mizole: I feel like we are. It's a nice upgrade too, an apartment to a big house in the hills. What do you think?

Mahi: .... ... That sounds nice...... really nice.............. nice big house... We need to keep them together.

Mizole:hahahahahaha.....

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Warabi: okay, just jiggle the pick. I know there's like three notches annnnnd I.... got it! ..... I knew you guys were going to be here!

Baja: are you at least a little worried that he might find out about this?.......... Oh hello

Mahi: hey

Mizole: hm

Baja: you must mizole.... You're the front man of what floor!

Mizole: and?

Baja: I'm a big fan of yours. When Mahi told me that they were dating you. I was really excited to meet you. I've been following your work for a long time. I was a big fan of you when you were with 'the deep sea divers'

Mizole: Yeah I have a lot of fans that's what happens when you have a tale- you know about the deep sea divers?

Baja: yeah! I saw you guys playing at the conch shell club 8 years ago.... Your first rendition of undertow amazing. I mean I like the final cut of it but your first draft was art!

Mizole:.......... You actually like that?

Baja: yeah!... they had a lot of personality in it. Why did you change it? It was so rugged and aggressive now it's all polished now which I love but the original one had such character

Mizole:............... Wow.....uh.......*humph*. You know heh .... when I got signed to a label they wanted a specific genre and all that....hehehe..........* Inhale* ...... What's with the bag and why is it moving?

Baja: oh They're salmonoids. I got some during my volunteer shift at grizz-co. Got a lot of these little guys. I like to eat them raw.....*eating* I got them for you mahi ait tons of them during my shift.

Mahi: nice! Thanks I like to eat them raw too...*eating* They're juicer too

Warabi: *ugh* I can never get used to that.......Any of y'all know Neta 's finflixs password?

Mhai: bassbaba@86

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Mahi: okay so what's the plot of this?

Warabi: okay, so it takes place during the great turf war. Two soldiers one inkling and one octoling who grew up together and are childhood best friends. And the story switches from backstory to backstory until it goes all the way to present day and then it all comes together during the end of the movie. It's really sad like it's so sad.

Baja: Oh I saw this... We had to watch it in school

Mizole: eh

Neta: Why are y'all in my apartment?!

Mahi: *eat* hey boss. you look like shit.......

Baja: AHHHHH... I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'm sorry I told myself that I wouldn't do this again and I did it again. I'm really sorry I'm so sorry!

Mizole: would you get the fuck up! Stop kissing his ass. It's not going to do shit!

Neta:..................*sigh*........*moan*........... I can't do this today .....*sniff*...... What are you watching?

Warabi: 'war-torn brothers'

Neta: The one based off the book?

Warabi: yeah.....

Neta:............ Cici order something to eat and take a shower okay baby?

Cirrina: ok....You didn't go to my room did you?

Mizole/mahi: no

Cirrina: good Don't want your grody hands all over my stuff.......... Unless it's you baja hi!!

Baja: *waves*

Neta: I'm going to go take a nap......... Maybe have a nice hot bath first........Yeah that sounds nice.......... Nobody bother me and all y'all need to get out of my place by 6!

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Mahi and the gang did not leave around 6 they left around 11 but Neta didn't notice. The minute he got out of the tub he passed out @fish-at-fish-fish-resort

#mizole the shittiest person alive but the best boyfriend to ever exist #mizole used to be in an old underground band called the deep sea divers #It just felt like the perfect time to write this. I always wanted to write Neta doing a big run and now he's doing it. holy shit! yay!#mahi took neta's old sneakers knowing damn well they're too big the guy is a size 12 #i was planning on making Warabi knock over his mom's urn but nah #no more sad old man neta moments now for tired middle-aged man neta who just can't catch a break and just wants to nap #question is mahi actually willing to move in with mizol because i was just spitballing when I wrote that #The big one team consisted of neta Warabi candi and cirrina #Baja was also there. it was on a different team and he spent most of the time eating. salmonoids.... feels very disturbing #after two shifts and being revived 16 times Warabi got frustrated and left

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batsarebetterthanpeople · 1 year

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Reposting this from my twitter because I think you guys will appreciate this more. I've made some Edits because i have more words to work with tho.

All modern AUs are valid however the easiest way to get the vibe of OFMD right is to make Ed a rock star. The fuckery looks like rock concert gimmicks. Black Pete kinda acts like a groupie at times. Ed has a stage name.

Because of this I am rotating a rockstar AU in my brain. Izzy is the annoying manager with no artistic talent and no respect for Ed's craft. Ed loves his art but he's sick of the lifestyle and the paparazzi and everybody treating him like he's some sort of god and not a human being, and it's not fun anymore when he can't have a life outside of it. In order to match the vibe this makes Stede an upstart musician who hired a garage band because he has no friends to start a band with. Either that or he went around recruiting small musicians who needed the money but he found them all separately which I think could be funnier. He is independently wealthy but he's also doing something unique so Ed respects it. His genre is something bat shit, probably a blend of two genres that don't make sense together. Ed is definitely screamo tho.

I know this completely fucks with the Jim and Oluwande backstory, but my desire to see Jim and Frenchie in leather is down right overpowering so for this AU I would like to propose that Jim and Frenchie are part of Ed's band instead of Stede's. Jim is the drummer, Frenchie plays guitar, Ivan plays bass guitar. Fang is either another guitarist or on keyboard. Ed is obviously the front man.

Stede's band consists of Olu, The Swede, Buttons, Wee John, Roach, and Black Pete. I'm not sure who's doing what and I couldn't even begin to guess because I'm not sure of what genre Stede's doing yet. I am dying for suggestions. This post is open ended. Lucius is also involved here he was hired to do manager shit.

I also have thoughts on Calico Jack in this AU because I am obsessed with him. He and Ed were friends before they were famous, and then they both independently of each other made it big, Ed in metal or screamo or pop punk or regular punk or whatever and CJ in country. (Ed got famous the normal way and Calico Jack did to some famous country star what Kesha did to Prince i.e. broke into their house to leave his mix tape. Only difference is that it worked).

#ofmd modern au #our flag means death #ofmd #I think there's a way to make the Jim Olu backstory kind of work in this universe #Maybe Jim and Oluwande do actually know each other and they are the reason Stede and Ed meet in the first place #IDK where Spanish Jackie would come in tho #Jack/Ed rpf exists in this universe #it didn't exist until they got caught by the paparazzi back when they were newer to fame and worse at avoiding them #everyone has been speculating ever since #Jack reads every damn word of the rpf and thinks it's funny and Ed tries his best to pretend that it doesn't exist #they are not boyfriends Ed just refuses to fuck groupies on principle and is too famous for dating apps so his options are limited #Which is part of why Stede is so exciting #Stede and Ed are dating after long enough #Jack drops a jolene cover the day after Ed and Stede go public as a way to troll the fans. He refuses to answer interview questions about i #jamie's crowd sourced band au

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