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#Bernard also theorizes Danny is king
tanglepelt · 10 months
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Dc x dp idea 82
Bernard has a new online conspiracy theorist friend.
Tim is at least happy bernard has less conspiracy theories about the bats. However him going off about a whole branch of the government deemed as guys in white is a bit much.
Now. He sure the two are just feeding off one another.
But it gets a tad too specific at times. Bernard going into detailed accounts of different ghost then ways they may have died?
A tiny ghost in a suit of armor. He is even claiming that his online friend is actually king of an entire dimension of elite ghost warriors? But his friend hadn’t realized it yet.
Honestly if his friend whose username is d3as0rAliv3? wasn’t coming to visit Gotham. Which he has no idea why anyone would come here he’d be hunting him down right now.
He’ll still do his research of course. Tim will also accompanying Bernard for the meet up. Just to be on the safe side.
Now when they got to the library. He most certainly wasn’t expecting a kid their age with a black eye and bruising around the wrists.
Especially not that Danny actually had proof of this GIW and the fact they were actively hunting down beings from a dimension called the infinite realm.
Maybe it wasn’t all a conspiracy theory. How on earth did Bernard find the one person who could prove their was a secret government agency hell bent on breaking the meta protection acts.
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mortiferumsomnum · 2 years
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Burgers are How You Summon the Almighty Ghost King
EDIT: MASTERLIST
***
Look. Bernard didn’t think it would actually work. 
But, there he was. The Ghost King! In all his.... teenager glory...
“You are the Ghost King... right?” Bernard asked, handing the teen a ham sandwich he just put together. 
“Oh, thanks,” said the teen, accepting the sandwich. “And, yeah. But I haven’t had my coronation yet, so a friend of mine is overlooking some things until I’m ready.”
“Cool,” said Bernard. Then, he gave the teen an apologetic smile. “I’m sorry for summoning you, dude. When I read in the pamphlet that you needed ketchup and mustard drawn in the constellation of Corona Borealis, I really didn’t think it would work because it involved condiments and not... you know... blood sacrifices?”
The teen nodded. And after swallowing, he said, “It’s cool. I’m just surprised that the summoning requirements changed that fast across realms after a few jokes I made. It seems some ghosts just don’t leave things be. They probably worked this fast to tick me off...” The teen snorted at what he said, before continuing with a casual wave of his sandwich, “I should change the requirements again, into something more complicated maybe.”
“I could give you some ideas!” Bernard said. Then he gasped. “My boyfriend is REALLY good at contingencies and plans! He could give you some ideas, too!”
The teen frowned worriedly. “Are you sure that’s a good idea?” he asked. 
Bernard nodded, a bit enthusiastically because his bangs were hitting his eyes. “He’s amazing like that! And this isn’t just bias talking! He’s really good at almost everything, it’s insane! He’s a dork, but-”
“Okay! Okay,” the teen laughed. “I get it, he’s amazing.”
“Hell yeah, he is!!” Bernard said, hoping his smile isn’t too dopey.
O_O_O_O
Tim blinked. He blinked at the evidence of the summoning. He grimaced at the black ants that’s marching towards the mess. 
Then he blinked at the white-haired teen in some kind of hazmat suit that blinked at him with eyes that reminded him too much of Jason. But Danny’s face looks kinda... familiar...?? Nah, no it doesn’t. But the green eyes does make Tim internally theorize that neon green is associated with death. 
Then, he blinked at Bernard’s excited smile.
“Okay, first off, this summoning ritual is insulting,” Tim said, gesturing to it. “There’s barely any drama.”
The white haired teen ducked his head in embarrassment. “I was joking with some of the ghosts in charge of changing the summoning rituals... I don’t exactly understand why it’s important to have something that can summon me when the Ghost Realm and the Living Realm should be kept separate but... well... they insisted. And I was annoyed. And hungry. So, I said the next best thing that came to mind.”
Tim nodded. If he were less tired, he would be snorting in amusement and making some kind of joke Kon would be proud of. But right now? Tim had been awake for the last 71 hours and 45 minutes, a quarter of an hour before the hallucinations sets in, and the only thing keeping him going is coffee and Bernard’s promise for a sandwich. And Bernard, bless his boyfriend, is REALLY GOOD at making sandwiches.
“Okay,” he said, sitting down at the table and taking a bite out of his sandwich. “What if the ritual involved making sandwiches?”
Bernard frowned at his boyfriend. He rubbed Tim’s back, which was heavenly because Bernard’s hands were pleasantly warm. “Are you okay, Babe?”
“I’ll be fine,” he said. “But like you said, we’re just putting together ideas, so I’m also just spouting everything that comes out of my head.”
The teen nodded in understanding. “Right? Food’s just that powerful!” Then, his face turned serious. “I want it to involve making a burger. Not bought, but made from scratch from the summoner.”
Tim nodded, bringing out a notepad and wrote down what the teen said in the most illegible scribble Bernard’s ever seen. Hmmm, maybe Tim needs some rest.
“What should be the ingredients?” Tim asked, not looking up from his notepad while twirling his pen.
“We need to find the best burger there is in this world,” the teen said. “And then, we write down the ingredients for it, the step-by-step process of how it should be prepared, and what kind of soda it should be paired with.”
Tim nodded, jotting down what Danny said.
Bernard was honestly amused and worried. “Are you sure this is the kind of summoning that you want?”
The teen nodded. “It shouldn’t just be a burger bought from some fast-food burger joint. It has to be a Burger that I would be HAPPY to eat when I get summoned and have to listen to some creepy person’s plan for world domination!”
“Not everyone who will summon you will want to dominate the world,” Tim said.
The teen crossed his arms. “Then they should have no problem inviting me to a meal over a talk about how to save the world or whatnot.”
Tim circled some... scribbles and then closed his notepad with a snap, clicking his pen with finality and nodding towards the teen.
“By the way, what should we call you?” he asked the teen, who blinked at him. “I get the ‘names hold power’ thing, but I thought that only applies to the fae?” Tim asked, looking to Bernard for confirmation. And when Tim has to look to Bernard for confirmation, you KNOW that the young man is that badly sleep-deprived. 
The teen laughed. “Don’t worry! You guys can know my name,” he said. Then, with a grin, a silver light circled around him and transformed him into a regular looking teen with black hair and blue eyes while wearing a Nasa shirt and a pair of jeans. He then held a hand out, and introduced himself, “I’m Danny.”
Tim blinked. Danny looked... a lot like Damian. Which should be concerning because his skin was just as dark as Damian’s a while ago... maybe Tim was too focused on the glowing green eyes? Damian also has green eyes... Huh. Does being a ghost make other people unable to recognize you when you’re being one? 
Tim looked to his watch. It’s also 4 am. Oh...
Then, Tim looked to Bernard. “The hallucinations has set in.”
“Dammit, Babe!” Bernard screeched before catching his idiot boyfriend.
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*loud cackling* I’ve been drowning in Danny Phantom and Batman crossovers for days!!!! It was only time until I contributed something to the fandom! XD
Unfortunately, I’m not that good with multi-chapter fics, so I’m going to share the ideas I have for this AU!!
So:
- It’s a Danny and Damian are twins AU! Danny was an unnamed baby. He was weak and he was close to dying. Ra’s wanted him dead. Talia faked the baby’s death and tasked a loyal subordinate on his way to another mission in another state to drop the baby off somewhere safe. If the child were going to die, he should die in a place where he’ll feel love and care as a final gift from his mother.
- That love and care comes in the form of a two year old red head named Jazz who was out on a stroll with her giant father. It was sisterly-love at first sight on the baby left on the doorsteps of some old man that hated kids. Jazz wanted to keep the baby. And Jack, unable to say no to his princess, picks up the baby with such care, it was fatherly-love at first sight for Jack as well. Once the baby was brought home, cleaned and put into the yellow onesies Jazz once owned, Maddie had arrived home from shopping for some parts. One look at the baby, and it was motherly-love at first sight, too. When things start going wrong at their home, and the children are left to their own devices, Jazz would always care for her brother first.
- (I really didn’t think much about how they separate because I didn’t focus on that)
- Now, other than the explanation Danny gave, the importance of having a summoning ritual for the ghost king in this AU is in case the world truly is in danger and requires the ghost king’s help. Of course, while Pariah Dark was king, the summoning rituals were made difficult for the very reason that Pariah was an evil tyrant and shouldn’t be summoned because he will destroy the world rather than save it. 
- Now that Danny is King, the ghosts know that the kid won’t be abusing his powers, not even in the human world. So, even if it were a joke, it was really alright for his summoning ritual to be easy. Plus, they really did want to tick him off and make him learn the hard way that he should take what they’re trying to advise him seriously. Clockwork even told them it was okay!
- Thankfully, it wasn’t the Guys in White or, Ancients forbid, his parents that summon him! It was someone who’s like Wes, but chiller. Danny Really Does need to make it more complicated.
- But having his summoning ritual involve Making Burgers?? That’s the only easy part. Danny wants to also put in them being able to imitate the Mona Lisa Portrait, the Chicken Dance - SCRATCH THAT! MAKE THEM DO THE COFFIN DANCE!, and---
- Tim is looking at him with JUDGMENT. And Danny is offended because it was Tim that suggested Sandwich-making in the first place! And then, Tim AGREED to the burger making!! 
- Tucker thought it was a great idea when he returned to attend school! Sam doesn’t really care as long as the Burger doesn’t involve killing a cow by their hands and instead involves ground beef processed in the market.
- Tim tells him that they can make it complicated, but they are REMOVING THE MONA LISA AND COFFIN DANCE IDEA, and, like, Fine! Maybe having art and dance skills shouldn’t be a requirement!
- Tim then suggests that maybe the summoner should know the true value of ghosts, or, have knowledge that ghosts are sentient beings.
- Because Danny gives them a whole run-down on the laws involving ghosts that’s kept hush-hush by the government but is really there and hasn’t been changed. Tim wonders if Jason is really a zombie like he claims to be, or is actually half-ghost like Danny. But pushes it aside, because right now, researching on the internet on different burger recipes is confusing the fuck out of Bruce and Tim is thriving on it.
- But, to test Tim’s theory, Tim invites Jason to help them cook the different burger recipes. He advises Danny to be invisible while Jason does it, and he agrees. So, he transforms and turns invisible. But the moment Jason is there, Danny drops his invisibility, walks up to Jason, who’s in a daze, and cries while hugging the man. 
- The Ghost King has many powers. And seeing how a ghost had died is one of them. (A headcanon for this au, because why not? I think it’s pretty angsty and cool! But also, it’s like after defeating the previous Ghost King, the powers associated with being Ghost King is also passed on? For now, Danny is still training on how to get a hold of these powers. But in the future, he’ll be able to control his powers, so he won’t be seeing the past of every ghost he meets without their consent. Consent is sexy, guys.)
- While Danny is hugging Jason, the corrupted ectoplasmic energy was getting purified. But Danny can only do the purification in small doses. And, well, he doesn’t need to hug Jason to purify him, but Danny doesn’t want to tell Jason that because the big guy looks deprived of hugs. So a daily dose of purification hugs is recommended for our resident undead.
- Jason grumbles, but assents to it because he hasn’t felt this light in years. He also helps them make the burgers.
- “We should just say ‘Get Jason Todd to cook your burgers, buy some root beer, and draw the constellation with melted chocolate’” Danny says, enjoying the burgers.
- Bernard nods, licking a finger clean of ketchup and mustard. “You gotta teach me how to make burgers like this, man,” he says to Jason. “The only burger patties I cook are the ones already packaged.”
- Jason smirked. “I’m still a student,” he said. Bernard and Danny were in disbelief. But Tim only nodded. “Alfred is the real master. He’s British, but the only food he messes up are the waffles and mashed potatoes. Everything else, he’s excels.”
- “But... anyone can make mashed potatoes???????”
- “We have a bet going on that he messes them up on purpose because Bruce likes them that way.”
- It’s when Danny de-transforms that Jason blinks and goes, “Whoa, you look like the Demon Brat!”
- Which then just proves Tim’s theory that maybe being a ghost has something to do with people recognizing them as humans. Maybe there’s an instant glamour when you’re a ghost for strangers to be unable to recognize you? Maybe when the ghost allows it, you’d be able to recognize them even as they appear or transform in front of you? Do all ghosts have the ability to appear human? Or is it just Danny? Can Jason transform?? But is Jason even half-ghost??? 
- (In this au, I’m having the glamour only working on halfas., but only because they assume two identities. When you’re a full ghost, you don’t have a different identity just your ghost one. Jason is not a ghost, he’s mostly human, not fully, because even as a human there is ectoplasmic energy running in his veins. Jason’s eyes will be glowing when he’s experiencing strong negative emotions, but these negative emotions are now more manageable. So, Jason is a human with ectoplasmic energy running in his veins. He doesn’t have two identities to switch with. No glamour for him, but being purified does make him a little bit stronger. Not superman strong, but the kind when you’re on an adrenaline high.)
- But also, yep, Tim wasn’t imagining it. Danny did look like Damian.
- It was then Bernard takes out his board full of red string and shares his theory on why Danny could be Damian’s long lost twin brother. Tim was probably asleep when he put this board together.
- “Assassins? Really?” Danny asked, amused. “I mean, I know I’m adopted, but why would I be associated with assassins? Wouldn’t the assassins be watching over me and keeping a closer eye on me in case my twin can’t take over as heir and they’d need a placeholder??”
- And so Bernard goes on, on how Danny was the weaker one of the twins. And maybe the boss wanted only the strong one, and maybe his mother had some ounce of motherly sympathy for him to be brought into a loving family before he eventually died. And there wasn’t any assassin assigned to him because they were so sure he’d die. Danny did explain to them that he got sick easily when he was younger. But after the accident that killed him, he didn’t get sick anymore. (Danny didn’t tell them that he’s still alive, though. He just told them he died, while he’s in the ghost world, he defeated the previous ghost king, and now he’s the ghost king). 
- Cue Tim and Jason sweating in the background. Bernard could be right, because he mostly was right about Damian being associated with Assassins. But Danny doesn’t look convinced, just indulging, so thank goodness for that!
- So, it goes to a question on whether he wanted to meet Damian. But Danny tells them that he’ll think about it.
- So, they get on with choosing which burger “felt right”, but Danny decides to bring a burger he loves. From Nasty Burger. And asks Jason to try and make a better version.
- “Timmy, look for the recipe, will ya?”
- Danny is amused at the illegal hacking that was going on, but even if the recipe for Nasty Burgers might be a well-kept secret of the burger joint, he has no doubt these nerds will be able to find it.
- Tim downloads the recipe, Danny brings over the Nasty Burgers, they taste it and comments that it goes on par with Bat Burgers, to which Bernard arrives with his own batch for Danny to try. 
- And, they were right. They are on par with each other. They both have their own distinct flavors for their patties, it’s unreal!
- Danny then decides to let both be a requirement for the ritual. A better version for both Bat Burger and Nasty Burger as improved by Jason Todd. 
- After a full week of trying to make the perfect nasty burger and bat burger, Danny has to include all the other requirements for the ritual (like the root beer and how the constellation will be drawn, and that one requirement Tim suggested of the human having to have understanding of ghosts being more than just ghosts... Does Jason make a poem for Danny about it? Yes, he does. But nobody but Danny knows about this.)
-Finalized, The summoner has to read the poem out loud, draw the constellation with barbeque sauce, and place the ready-made burger by the summoner in the middle.
- Once Danny has put everything together, and tells the ghosts to update the summoning ritual, he asks Bernard to test it out (Jason ended up taking Bernard as a student in cooking).
- Danny appears in all his Ghost King glory, complete with a Nasty Burger Crown and Blanket Cape, with some cool neon green light show and some cool fog.
- It was a success! And they eat pizza as a celebration because they were sick of burgers already.
- They say good-bye to Danny. Danny tells them that he’ll still be visiting for Jason’s daily purification hugs, and they make plans for meeting up together.
....
- One day, Damian as Robin catches Jason in his safe-house watching a movie with Timothy, Bernard, and... a clone of himself? But that’s a story for another day.
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