Who do we call when our president is our abuser-in-chief?
(Written by the Wild Witch of Art & Magick)
It’s clear that every action, reaction, temper tantrum, tweet, lecture, press conference, policy, and executive order is a reflection not only of Donald Trump’s (#notmypresident) blatant narcissism but also his use of power and control exactly like an abusive man in a domestic violence relationship. (And yes, I am using non-gender neutral terms for the purposes of this post).
As we’ve all seen through the campaign and run-up to inauguration, he has consistently used tactics familiar to all women who have experienced abuse:
10 Emotional Abuse Tactics That Trump Blatantly Used in the First Debate
Donald Trump Is a Textbook Abuser, and Women Everywhere Know It
Trump Is the Nation's Abuser-in-Chief
But now those tactics are being used to create policies that will affect not only women, people of color, LGBTQIA people, immigrants (or lack thereof), and other vulnerable populations, but all of humanity and the environment.
The “America First” policy is the first step towards isolating us, much like an abuser seeks to limit “his woman’s” interactions with other men, then her friends, then her family. By literally walling us off, limiting trade interactions, refusing to aid those in need, turning our backs on longtime allies and peaceful organizations, #notmypresident is seeking to create an environment only he and his carefully selected staff control. (Trump’s White House Shaping Up To Be Home For Men Accused Of Domestic Abuse)
He and his staff seek to isolate us from the world and each other as well by insisting that the media (not his behaviors or action) is the problem. In other words, anyone who calls him out on his lies, who asks him to recognize objective truth, who shows his attempts to gaslight us for what it is, are immediately chastised, belittled, denigrated, made to seem inferior, etc. Only he knows the truth, and the truth is what #notmypresident tells you it is.
I could make this post very lengthy by taking each section of the power and control wheel in turn and illustrating what he has done to-date, but I’m afraid no one would read it then, so I will leave readers with this thought. Below are 30 Signs of Emotional Abuse. How many have we seen so far from #notmypresident and his staff? How many more will we see?
1. They humiliate you, put you down, or make fun of you in front of other people.
2. They regularly demean or disregard your opinions, ideas, suggestions, or needs.
3. They use sarcasm or “teasing” to put you down or make you feel bad about yourself.
4. They accuse you of being “too sensitive” in order to deflect their abusive remarks.
5. They try to control you and treat you like a child.
6. They correct or chastise you for your behavior.
7. You feel like you need permission to make decisions or go out somewhere.
8. They try to control the finances and how you spend money.
9. They belittle and trivialize you, your accomplishments, or your hopes and dreams.
10. They try to make you feel as though they are always right, and you are wrong.
11. They give you disapproving or contemptuous looks or body language.
12. They regularly point out your flaws, mistakes, or shortcomings.
13. They accuse or blame you of things you know aren’t true.
14. They have an inability to laugh at themselves and can’t tolerate others laughing at them.
15. They are intolerant of any seeming lack of respect.
16. They make excuses for their behavior, try to blame others, and have difficulty apologizing.
17. The repeatedly cross your boundaries and ignore your requests.
18. They blame you for their problems, life difficulties, or unhappiness.
19. They call you names, give you unpleasant labels, or make cutting remarks under their breath.
20. They are emotionally distant or emotionally unavailable most of the time.
21. They resort to pouting or withdrawal to get attention or attain what they want.
22. They don’t show you empathy or compassion.
3. They play the victim and try to deflect blame to you rather than taking personal responsibility.
24. They disengage or use neglect or abandonment to punish or frighten you.
25. They don’t seem to notice or care about your feelings.
26. They view you as an extension of themselves rather than as an individual.
27. They withhold sex as a way to manipulate and control.
28. They share personal information about you with others.
29. They invalidate or deny their emotionally abusive behavior when confronted.
30. They make subtle threats or negative remarks with the intent to frighten or control you.
If you recognize these as occurring in your personal relationship, please contact the National Domestic Abuse Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233).
Stay vigilant, have an escape plan, resist if you’re able, take care of each other, be safe. Millions of women, men and children marched last Saturday - we will resist, and we will show the world we can create a better society. #beautifulresistance
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