★— ⋆。˚ [Unexpected Things]
For Day 14 of Carry on Countdown 23, Blade. @carryon-countdown
Basil's gone and done it. Poor lad's gotten himself stabbed, and it's only taken 3 years out of law school. At the very least, his nurse seems nice enough.
Rated T for near-death experiences, excessive cussing, and Basil checking out his nurse too blatantly.
This is part 1 of the Nurse/Lawyer AU I started on Day 8.
⋆。˚
‘Oh, bloody hell–’
I need an ambulance. There is a gaping wound in my gut. I am losing a lot of blood. I have enough presence of mind to shrug off my jacket and ball it up to press over the wound. Vaguely, as if from very far away, I think about how I should call for an ambulance. I don’t think I’ve got consciousness enough in me to make the call.
I should really make the fucking call.
I keep fumbling over the keys to my phone as I stumble my way through the alley and out onto the pavement. 999 should not be this hard to dial. My fingers should not be this bad at dialing three whole numbers. Especially not if they’re just the same number repeated thrice over. If I can manage to make it to the pavement I can dial bloody emergency. I’d never seen a blade go so deep past skin before. I don’t think I have enough strength to keep standing.
I shortly find out that I do not.
I am flat on the ground. Did I pass out? Maybe for a moment. Apparently, I’ve managed to get through to emergency though, because someone is asking me to answer on the other end of the line. Someone is Asking my name and situation. Vaguely, I pull my phone closer to me, close enough so the operator can hear.
“Stabbed…” is about all I can mutter out, but she asks for my name and location, so at least I know she heard me. I sigh out, laying flat on my back and staring up at the moon in the sky above.
I manage my location. The moon is blinking at me, blurred morse code messages I can’t quite decipher. Or my eyes are closing and my consciousness is slipping. I can’t really tell which it is, but the latter seems more likely.
I repeat the intersection one more time into the phone. I think the operator is talking me through keeping consciousness, but I don’t think she’s going to succeed. Somehow, I give my name, or at least part of it. The operator sounds really worried for me. What was her name? Crystal? Maybe Krystal. Krystal with a K is such a choice of a name– Kardashian fodder stuff. Not that I’m judging my only link to potentially surviving this whole situation. I will judge her parents though.
“Is your name Crystal with a C or with a K?” The operator stops talking for a whole two seconds, and I cough out a laugh in the moment of silence. I am not doing well, but at least she confirms her name starts with a C. “That’s good Crystal, your parents aren’t shite people.”
The moon is still flashing its blurred morse code at me. Probably, it’s also trying to tell me how to stay conscious. The moon is worse at this than Crystal is.
“I’m sorry, darling, but I think my capacity for staying alive might be a touch dodgy at the moment–”
Crystal keeps talking, telling me to keep pressure on the wound, not to move, ect ect. I don’t register all of it. Distantly I hear sirens.
The world goes dark.
⋆。˚
I wake up in a hospital bed and for a moment I’m surprised enough that I woke up at all that I fail to see the pretty nurse next to me. I apparently managed to skip the whole ambulance ride and repair process too. I feel like I’ve been hit by a truck. I’m also starving. I also really need a drink. I also really need to take a piss.
Alright, body, calm the fuck down, one step at a bloody time.
I start sitting myself up, groaning the whole while, and the nurse who had been diligently taking my vitals drops everything to stop me in my tracks. “Hey, there, Handsome,” the nurse says with her hands on my shoulder, gently keeping me in place, and I can’t help but notice that they’re stronger than they look at a glance. Either that or I’m especially weak in my freshly stabbed state. “Where do you think you’re going?”
“Bathroom?” My voice cracks on the word. Lovely. I’m making a lovely first impression. Fuck.
“Well, let’s get you into a chair. You’re not quite standing ready just yet.” Their voice is terribly gentle despite the seriousness of their tone, sweet and steady, a comforting thing, and in my probably still somewhat drugged state I almost say as much.
Instead, I keep my head enough to respond in a very smart and on topic way, “That bad?”
“Not as bad as it could’ve been,” they answer lightheartedly. And then I see their name tag and pronouns neatly displayed on their chest. Simon.
Alright, Simon.
I roll the name around in my head while she fetches my chair. It’s not a bad name, a bit simple though. Mother wouldn’t have picked it, but then again her chosen husband had an equally boring name, so I suppose that doesn’t really matter, does it?
Crowley, my mind’s all over the place. Where the bloody hell do I get off on comparing Simon to my father right off? I mean clearly he wouldn’t be a homophobe given he was at minimum an out part of the community. That didn’t outright exclude bigots or internalized homophobia but, you know—
I should probably stop thinking so much. My head’s starting to hurt with the liberties it’s taking about someone I’d exchanged a whole five lines of dialogue with.
Oh, thank fuck the chair is here. I start sitting myself up again, but Simon’s quicker, already there to guide me up and over.
…It’s a process.
I feel so bloody betrayed by my body, but Simon talks me through it and I suppose that’s help enough. Embarrassing still, though. Even more embarrassing how I can’t stop myself from noticing how soft his sun-streaked hair looks, how striking his eyes.
As if meeting someone via stabbing was a great way to start a relationship or form an attachment. Fuck’s sake, she’s a nurse, Basil! This is her place of work, I literally know better. I’m just asking to catch a harassment case at this rate.
I just sit for a while in my chair after the whole affair’s done with, my head leaning probably too far back and my gaze intent on the ceiling.
“Do you want to stay there a while?” Simon interrupts my fugue and I realise I’ve probably been holding him up from the rest of her patients.
I shake my head, “No, I’m bloody starving though. Thirsty too.”
“Well,” she starts, not stuttering a second while she’s helping me back into bed, “Technically it’s past supper, but I’ll see what I can manage for you, Tyrannus.”
“Baz,” I correct, even though I’m never this informal with strangers, “Baz or Basil, please.”
“Baz,” Simon repeats, taking a moment to note it on my chart, “I’ll see what I can do.”
“And water?”
“Already done,” she gestures to the bedside table and there it is, already poured in glass for me and everything.
“Delightful,” I manage without an ounce of sarcasm. It’s an achievement, actually.
“Press the button if you need me,” Simon says with a warm smile.
My heart does a stupid flip-flop despite the risk such a thing would be to my life, what with the whole recently stabbed and nearly bleeding out bit. Really inadvisable, heart, let’s just kill us after just barely managing to survive a direct attempt on our life. Don’t be such a numpty, heart, I’d like to live a good while longer.
I manage a nod despite my internal argument with my circulatory system. “I’ll see you back then?”
“More than probably,” Simon answers, “Don’t forget your water.
My heart does another flip-flop when he gives me another smile full of sunshine. Rather against my earlier advice. The idiotic bloody muscle’s practically trying to kill me.
⋆。˚
I don’t see Simon back for a while, but I also haven’t bothered to press the button. I’d finished my water and my phone was right there next to it, and I’m not sharing the room so I can have the tv on if I like even despite the late hour. I’ve plenty to entertain myself with, or at the very least plenty to distract myself from the pretty nurse trying to invade my mind with his skin painted in freckle constellations and copper curls.
It’s not enough, somehow, and I find myself having to actively resist the urge to push the button for no reason. I’ve not needed much for the painkillers, I’m not popping stitches or going anywhere, and I’m not exactly dying of hunger, so there’s no reason to call Simon unnecessarily.
Still.
I want to.
Thankfully I don’t have to. Simon shows up sometime near three o’clock in the morning with a sandwich in hand and a side of apple slices. I’m pretty sure it’s her lunch.
“Are you allergic to anything?” He asks as he plops himself in the chair next to my bed.
When I shake my head Simon proves me right by keeping half the sandwich for herself. I bite in without thinking about what might be in it. I’m too hungry to be particular right now, and I polish off the sandwich before I can even properly figure it out, washed down with a fresh glass of water and a sigh.
“Fuck…” I sink back against my pillow and let my eyes close, tenderly poking around the stitched up wound in my gut.
“Stop that,” Simon scolds with a swat in my direction, “Just because it’s not that bad doesn’t mean you can just poke at it.”
“How bad is not that bad?” I still stop, even if I ask the question as if I wasn’t going to.
“Not bad enough to need surgery,” Simon answers between bites, “You’re lucky enough your assailant didn’t knick any arteries or organs, but bad enough that if you put too much strain on it or pop a stitch the doctor will be Very upset with you.”
I can hear the capital in his voice. I don’t press further, letting my eyes slip closed in the moments following.
“So who’d you piss off enough to end up in this state anyway?”
“Is that normally the sort of question you ask a patient, Simon?” I can’t help cracking my eyes back open to serve them an incredulous look. At least I hope that’s what it comes across looking like. Who’s to say what I actually looked like, between the tiredness seeping into my bones and the ache in my gut.
Simon snorts out an amused laugh at me and my look only turns more sour. Or, again, I hope that’s what comes across. “Maybe if I were on the clock I’d be more tactful.”
“You’re spending your off hours with me? How unprofessional. I’m a lawyer, you know, I know how that could come across.” Even as I say it, there’s no threat behind the words. I’m leaning up to look at her more properly and she’s still smiling that sunshine smile and I can’t help but smirk back.
“It’s just my lunch, we’ll see about off hours later,” Simon’s being coy, but I can’t help but notice that he looks good doing it.
“You’re really toeing the lines of respectability, I’ll have you know.” Even I think I sound pompous at that, but Simon just keeps grinning over at me, so maybe she likes pompous sorts anyway.
“Is that how you got stabbed? Pissed off a client? Got on the wrong side of the mafia then?” He asks it like a flirt, tone all low and sultry, and I can’t help but laugh.
This is definitely not how one normally flirts. “Not exactly,” I answer as I settle back down in my bed, letting myself relax before carrying on, “A client’s ex-husband. I’m a divorce lawyer, and some men don’t handle that too well, it seems.”
Simon lets out a whistle of surprising length as he starts at his apple slices, “I was thinking criminal lawyer would be hotter, but I think I could be into a family court kind of guy.”
I shift as carefully as I can onto my side and perk a brow at this too pretty nurse ineloquently munching her lunch beside me. I’m still unreasonably attracted to him. “That’s incredibly unsubtle, Simon.”
“I know, Basil, but you’re not too subtle yourself.”
“What gave me away?”
“Heart palpitations,” Simon answers simply, “And I caught you staring at my bum when I left the room.”
“I was not!” I have to deny it, even if I had been.
“Sure you weren’t,” Simon hums, head quirked to the side and watching the guilty flush that was surely on my cheeks spread, “But how do you feel about the idea of shared off time? When you’re not such a vulnerable stabbing victim at some point even.”
“Is that how you’re asking me on a date, Simon?”
“Is that how you say yes, Basil?”
I purse my lips at him, a little bit of dramatic flair showing while I stretch out the moment in unnecessary anticipation. We both well know I’d already agreed. “That depends on your taste in the theatre. Are you a musical sort of person at all?”
“I could learn to be,” Simon answers, almost too earnestly.
I like that earnesty too much. “Well, I can appreciate someone who’s willing to learn for me. Give me your number and I’ll call you when I’m less recently stabbed. I’d like to be able to walk properly if I’m going to take such a pretty thing out on the town.”
“You’re really pushing for that lawsuit now, aren’t you?” Simon teases.
I’m a little too proud of the fact that I still managed to get his number programmed into my phone by the end of her shift though. I know full well I’m going to call him before I’m done healing though, even if I try and tell myself to not rush into things.
When I do call, a mere two days after I’m discharged from the hospital, Simon doesn’t seem to mind my blatant approach in the least.
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