"can you draw a portrait of this guy" what if i killed myself in front of you

I'm scared

There was a rocket that exploded above Dalyat El Carmel

They never got this close to here

It's not even a jewish village, it's mostly druze people there

It's getting closer every time

And i'm scared

It's 15 minutes from here

I heard the boom from where i live

The house shook

Israelis don't deserve to die.

Palestenians don't deserve to die.

No one does.

I just want everything to go back to normal

Please

Is it appendicitis or just fibromyalgia and a stomach bug? Guess we'll see in the morning!

what if… i said i might wanna try writing on discord… how would we feel

I want ships… but I alsoooo want to flesh and develop them all out and get invested, you know?

okeydoke as I have not had much energy for working on stuff lately (but lots of motivation) I'm not gonna do proper NaNo with a wordcount or anything, BUT I am gonna make it a goal to get some amount of work done on a writing project every day (at least until I go away on the 24th). Main priority blaseball projects are, in no particular order:

Fic about the ending

Abner fic

Simon's Quest

secret fic(s) :)

get the Talkers exchange set up

Aside from that, I've been poking at more non-blaseball stuff, which is a good excuse for me to plug my writing blog @cyndakip! All my fics get posted there, so if you're interested in my writing beyond just blaseball (especially if you like pokemon), I recommend following me there, since I don't post non-blaseball fics here.

Hey! I hate to ask for handouts and don't mean to come across as such, as that's not what this is for necessarily. I've been meaning to work on commissions, as in actually setting it up and working on the info itself and with the unexpected passing of my father on Jan 30th, I'm going to try to do just that when I have time or if it comes down to it, if we're stable before or as I'm getting a job it'll be different, there's a hiring freeze at the place I'm trying to get into so the guy will get back to me whenever he can. Right now I'm spending time with family during this time as my mom and I figure stuff out during our free time. My dad was the one who covered the mortgage payments so I just want to help my mom pay for it so we have a roof over our heads, I don't have a job yet and am waiting for a slot where my parents worked and my mom is taking time off and using vacation/sick time to be paid before she has to go back. Issue is, her last paycheck is coming up. We're also trying to figure out stuff with a grief counselor, but I digress. It's only my mom, me and two cats now. The mortgage is a little over $700 a month and I don't want her to do everything by herself and be alone. So, if I open commissions and I'm still drained as it's been hard for me to even pick up a pencil I will start off with small things (like sketch comms, MLP comms, etc) just to get things started. I still have to figure out if I want to open a shop of my own or mess with sites like redbubble, I'm still figuring out Kofi for tips and payments there. I will update with the full information soon once everything is settled if I can. I'm just tired and mentally exhausted, possibly still going through shock, so I haven't felt the energy to keep up conversations so if you think I'm ignoring you, I'm not! I apologize if it's ever come off as such, things have been hectic. Anyways, I wish you all the best and hope all is well!

do you ever get worried about how loud and/or popular your male muse is bc you don't want it to lead to your female muses getting overlooked bc i have to push that down all the time, and i'd just like to say thanks rpc trauma <3

i have dug myself into a deep hole this past year and i am now finally making actual progress to digging myself back out 👍

You know what's a realization I've made just now at this moment. I've been thinking for the last couple of days about how lately my poetry feels like it has no significance to me anymore, and I don't know why or how. It certainly felt more significant to me when I was youngest, when my poetic offerings were least often worthy of much praise, when I was excited and felt catharsis. Before I was even twenty, poetry became more of a craft/hobby than a diary (to give myself credit, it was a craft/hobby when I was fourteen/fifteen too, but I built that craft/hobby out of my teenage sentiments and obsessions rather than a more concerted effort of skill or construction). And it's been many years since I wrote poetry that was about people; I can't tell you the last time I wrote a poem that was purely about my feelings for another person. More often I write poems about conflicts or problems or things I'm figuring out. Very often my poetry is just inspired by whatever book I'm reading. But I'm not interested in my poetry lately whatsoever; I write it coincidentally. I have no interest in elaborating through that medium anymore at this point in my life. I'm not sure why I continue. And my realization is that I actually have felt this before. My poetry feels like a dormant interest because very few things inspire or excite me right now. My poetry feels insignificant when I'm in a phase where my life feels insignificant.

hope u guys don't mind me being a little queer sometimes and talking to myself in the tags, it helps clear my head since people can filter out rant posts easily

The T.umblr block system is good, but I know it can be great.

there’s a specific catholic woman instagram influencer who keeps getting shown to me who i just want to take by the shoulders and shake. soulmates aren’t real and it’s stupid for catholics to think that, sorry

i love having dc mutuals! would love to follow one some day…

Made some coffee because I need the boost

Going to go shave off my beard next because I like the occasional clear cut before growing it back and also no one ever sees me so it won’t matter how baby faced I am for the next week.

Going to stupidly retry buspirone later tonight. If you’ve followed my “lore” (and I’m sorry if you have), the last time I tried it over a few days, it only gave me extra anxiety and made me feel hot and incredibly uncomfortable. Maybe that was a fluke. Maybe it was interacting with the antidepressants I had just upped my dose of. Regardless, we’ll give it another shot and if it goes bad again, I’ll just take a couple benadryls, conk out, and not worry about them again.

Okay, I love you.

the unintentional downside of watching this stream is now i feel like making a dating app profile looks fun