My favorite Batfam fics are just B walking in one day with a feral child under one arm like an old football. Sets it down and it immediately starts chewing on furniture or smthin and he’s just like “man I wonder how long this one will take to find the bat-copter keys”

Meanwhile Alfred has already gone through his daily dose of the 7 stages of grief and prepped a new room before Bruce was even halfway up the driveway