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#ANYWAYS THERES NO WAY IN HELL I CANT BE SCREAMING AT A CONCERT
berryunho · 2 years
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update on my sickness: coughed up blood. consulted a MD. got an inhaler. hoping screaming crying praying that this plague leaves my body in the next 2 weeks and no later
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Incorrect Quotes 3
Sorry for not updating in a while, anyway, Merry Christmas! Heres Incorrect Quotes 3! 
Ships: 
Crossmare
Errorink
Dustberry
Scifell
Horrorlust
Driller/Kreme
Afterdeath
Fandom: Undertale AU’s
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 
Blue: I'd like to address Ink's annoying personal habits.
Ink: Oh my God! What personal habits?
Blue: I have a list. FYI overuse of the phrase "Oh my God" is number 12. 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dream: I'm sorry for all the stuff I said.
Ink: And for punching me in the face?
Dream: No, you definitely deserved that.
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Ink: It's a good thing I still have this sexy cat costume!
Blue: I really don't think you were the target audience for that costume.
Lust: There is nothing gendered about a sexy cat.
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 Blue: I made tea.
Ink: I don't want tea.
Blue: I didn't make tea for you. This is my tea.
Ink: Then why are you telling me?
Blue: It's a conversation starter.
Ink: That's a lousy conversation starter.
Blue: Oh, is it? We're conversing. Checkmate 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Ink: Am I cool or what?
Geno: What.
Ink: I said, am I cool or-
Geno: Yeah, I heard you.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Ink: You go big or you go home. And you don’t seem like the kind of person that goes home.
Cross: I’m not. I don’t even really have a home.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dust: Those pants look great, and I bet they’d look even better on Horror’s floor.
Horror: Are you hitting on Lust... for me?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Killer: I've lied to every girl I said "I love you" to. I thought I loved them but then I met you and realized I've never been in love before.
Dream: Aw. I did not know that.
Killer: Yeah, it was eating me up inside. So, I called them each individually and said "I never loved you."
Dream: Okay, that seems unnecessary.
 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 Blue: We're going mattress shopping.
Dust: You know, once we get it, we'll have to break it in.
Blue: Oh, I hear what you're saying. Mattress trampoline.
Dust:
Blue: Wait, no. You were talking about sex.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 Blue: Uh oh.
Fell: What?
Blue: Somebody's in love.
Fell: Yeah, right. I just think Sci’s cool. It's not like I lay awake at night thinking about him.
Fell, later that night: shit.
 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 Dream: You guys just got back together. You might not want to ditch him on his birthday.
Blue: I think Dream has a point. You can see it another day.
Ink: But someone might spoil the movie. No one can spoil Error's birthday for me. Surprise, he's even older. Who saw that coming?
Dream: Aww, that's nice. Put that on his cake.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dust: We're lost.
Horror: Lost? As in "where the hell are we?"
Dust: We're not totally lost. We're still in Waterfall.
Killer: You said this was a shortcut.
Dust: It is a shortcut! Look how fast we got lost!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Killer: Before I do anything, I ask myself, would Dust do that? And if the answer is yes, I do not do that thing.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 Cross: Nightmare, I typed up your symptoms into the thing up here, and it says you may have network connectivity problems.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Cross: I would have been here sooner but the bus kept stopping for other people to get on it.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dust: How do you keep your pants up when battling? Its incredible!
 Error:
 Error: belt. 
 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dust: Nightmare!! Theres an ugly monster under my bed!
Killer (who is on the bottom bunk of the bunk bed): Alright. Screw you too!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dream: You took so long in the shower!
Ink: Yeah sorry, I was at a concert.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Cross: Holy crap, you’re so violent-
Error: Yeah, but i'm short so it's adorable.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Nightmare: I scared them again didn’t I?
Cross: They’re terrified of you-
Nightmare: 
Nightmare: That makes me so happy! 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Ink: Error?
Error: What?
Ink: You kicked me in your sleep!
Error: ….who said I was asleep?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Horror: Why would you give Dust a knife?! 
Killer: He felt unsafe.
Horror: Well now I feel unsafe!
Killer: …...would you like a knife as-well?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Error: Okay, lets stop using the term ‘butt-hurt’. We are adults not 12 year olds.
Cross: You sound fannytroubled.
Ink: A little bootybothered if you asked me.
Dust: Someones having a tushytantrum
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Nightmare: HAS ANYONE SEEN MY SONS?!
Nightmare: OH GOD HORROR!
Nightmare: THAT MOTHERS ADRENALINE IS KICKING IN-
Nightmare: DUST!
Nightmare: I CAN SEE EVERY EQUATION!!
Nightmare: Excuse me ma’am?! Have you seen my sons?! They’re about this tall- all clearly gay but we havent had the talk.
Nightmare: KILLER ARE YOU IN THERE?!
Nightmare: *kicks down trash can violently*
Error: 
Error: Cross control your boyfriend jesus-
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Enjoy some quotes from Disney/Nickelodeon Shows!: (I uh- also added some cusswords lol-)  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dust: I'M PREGNANT- 
Killer: You’re not pregnant! 
Horror: Wait- who’s pregnant?! 
Dust: ME!
Horror: Congratulations! 
Killer: He’s not pregnant!
Dust: Easy Killz! I’m with child-!
Killer: You’re not with child!
Horror: I’m gonna be an uncle!!!
Killer: YOU’RE NOT GONNA BE AN UNCLE!
Horror: Then who’s gonna teach the little guy how to ride a bike?!
Error: Calm down Dust! You’re not pregnant.
Dust: Then why am I so moody and nauseous?! 
Dust: I think it's the morning sickness!
Error: ...Dust…
Error: you’re a boy. 
Dust: ...oh yeah-
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Sci: Sorry, but the convertants of air streams coming from the vents are creating a dangerous draft on the guest chair. 
Blue: Alright...but if I catch a cold and start coughing and sneezing uncontrollably it will be on you. LITERALLY-
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Blue: Ink! Geno! Please..! Violence is never the solution-  
Blue: *gets hit in the face by a pillow and falls down*
Blue: HECK WITH THE NON-VIOLENCE..! I AM ON YOU LIKE STRIPES ON A TIGER-
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 
Killer: *snoring on the couch*
Nightmare: Awww- he fell asleep mid clean! I’ll wake him.
Nightmare: KILLER!!!!
Killer: AHH! *sprays cleaning spray on Nightmare’s face* 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Cross: Who took all my scarfs?! I need them for tomorrow--
Dust swinging on a rope made out of cross’s scarfs: *doing a tarzan yell and crashing into the kitchen*
Dust coming out of the kitchen with spoons forks and knifes on him: Now that was awesome!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Sci: Well...I brought a book you could read-
Ink: NOOOOOOOOO- *runs away*
Sci: Too easy. 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Blue: I'm a hugger!!!!
Dust: I'M A HUGGIE-
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Killer: I did not see that coming.
Killer: *gets smacked in the arm by a drone* OW!
Nightmare: Apparently you don't see a lot of things coming.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 Horror: ...what's that?
A random stranger: It's lasagna… and it's for a Christmas Party I’m going to.
Horror: We could have a party right now-!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Cross: What are you all getting Nightmare for his birthday?
Killer: A slightly used lip balm. 
Dust: A free hug. 
Error: My profound admiration. 
Horror: *picks up salt shaker* This salt shaker.  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Ink: Oh, this is my chum bucket! I’m going to catch a giant squid and tame it! 
Dream: ...you’re a weird kid.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Lust: Now all we have to do is wait for the guests to show up!
Lust:
Blue: 
Lust: Oh...we forgot to invite people….
Blue: Yup, sure did-
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Nightmare: Its not like anybody died…!
Dream: We haven't seen the rest of the tape…..
Nightmare: 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Killer: IS THAT A TATTOO?! 
Killer while rubbing Dust’s arm: COME OFF COME OFF COME OFF!!!
Dust: Hey! The only thing coming off is my arm! 
Killer: What am I going to tell Nightmare?! Oh….oh! I got it! We’ll just cut off your arm!
Cross: Good idea! Because that's easier to explain then a tattoo.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Horror and Dust: *battling with pool noodles*
Blue laying on the ground: HALT!
Horror and Dust: …?
Blue: Does anyone have a pillow? This ground is really hard! 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Killer: Nightmare can you do me a big favor…?
Nightmare: You need a handsome man to go with you to the reunion? No problem...I’ll do it! 
Killer: I meant to see if you could call one of your friends or your brother but uh-
Nightmare: *death stare*
Killer: okay...you’ll do-
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dust: Two days to learn a language?
Dust: I got some spanish for ya! No way Jose- haha!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Cross: And I’m sorry I said he was my favorite-
Horror: It's alright Dad! To be honest, I always preferred Nightmare. 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dream: I know there is still some good left in you!
Nightmare: No there isn’t-! Wait. 
Nightmare: *visibly cringing* 
Nightmare referring to Passive Night: Agrh! There's still a piece of good. DARN IT!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dust: *pretends to yawn to sling his arm over Blue to dim the lights*
Dust: Do you mind?
Blue: Not at all. While we’re at it.
Blue: *throws one of Error’s puppets at the radio to play some convenient romantic music*
Blue and Dust: *about to kiss on the couch*
Horror in the kitchen doorway: *holding a glass of milk* What are you doing?
Blue and Dust: AH! HORROR! 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Ink: What are you saying? That I’m dumb?!
Error: Well- no… you’re just not very….thinky.
Ink: Thinky? Why did you say that?!
Error: Because Geno told me I cant call you dumb.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dream: Hey Killer? Can you get me some punch?
Killer: Sure, I’ll be right back.
Passive Nightmare: Cross? Can you get me some punch too?
Cross: What? Your feet dont work? 
Passive: 
Cross: Ice or no ice…?
Passive: Surprise me. 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Nightmare: If you all want your phones….
Nightmare: *shows box of phones* They’re right here.
Blue: 
Dream: 
Horror: 
Dust: 
Killer:
Ink: 
Blue visibly shaking: 
Dream: Blue…
Blue starts vibrating a bit: 
Dream: Blue. 
Blue starts vibrating:
Dream: BluE- 
Blue: *war scream* 
Everyone except Nightmare and Blue: OH SHIT- 
Blue: I NEED MY PHONE- *starts running at nightmare* 
Everyone else: BLUE NO *tries to restrain Blue* 
Blue screaming: *kicks Ink in the stomach causing him to fall backwards*
Dust and Horror screaming: *trying to hold Blues legs and arms* 
Blue still screaming: *elbows Horror in the ribs*
Horror letting go of Blue: OW!!
Dust accidentally lets his grip loosen on Blue: HOLY SHIT! HORROR?! 
Blue who is still screaming: *pushing Dust to the ground and running at the box* I NEED MY PHONE- 
Killer: *tackles Blue* 
Dream: *helping Killer restrain Blue*
Ink: *confused screaming* 
Nightmare: *laughing*
Blue: *flips over also flipping over Killer and kicking him in the chest* 
Killer: FUCK! *rolls over and clutches onto his chest*
Dream: HOLY CRAP BLUE CALM DOWN- *grabs onto both of Blue’s arms*
Blue screaming and kicks Dream in the shin: I NEED MY PHONE- 
Dream: *falls down grabbing his shin* MOTHER FU-
Blue running and grabbing the box of phones: GIVE ME MY PHONE-
Ink trying to grab hold of Blue: BLUE WAIT- 
Blue screaming and hits Ink in the face with the box: AHHH
Everyone else except Ink: *charging at Blue*
Blue grabs phone from out of the box: I GOT IT I GOT IT- 
Horror: *hoists up a screaming Blue in the air*
Dust: *grabbing Blue from the thighs lifting him up even more*
Killer: *grabbing Blue’s phone from his hands*
Blue: NOOOOOO-
Killer: *puts Blue’s phone in the box*
Blue screaming and squirming: NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!
Ink: *grabbing a chair*
Dream: *helping Dust and Horror restrain Blue* 
Blue: *flipping around screaming and kicking*
Nightmare: *still laughing*
Everyone: *sets Blue down on the chair Ink grabbed*
Dream, Horror, and Dust: *holding Blue down on the chair and shushing him*
Blue: *calms down*
Ink: Holy shit...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Here are more incorrect quotes: 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Killer: Hey do you want to- stop screaming, its just me- do you want to watch a movie with me? 
Dream: I'M IN THE SHOWER- 
Killer: Okay well when you’re done with that do you want to watch a movie with me?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
F!Frisk: You don't think I can fight because I'm a girl. 
Blue: I don't feel like you can fight because you are in a wedding dress. But for what it's worth, I don't think Ink could fight in that dress either.
Ink: Perhaps not, but I would make a radiant bride.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Classic banging on the closet door: Fell! Open up!
Fell: Well, it all started when I was born-
Classic: No I meant-
Blue: Shh....let him finish.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dust: *sneaking in through the window at 2am*
Nightmare *flicking on the light and turning around in his chair*: So, Where were you?
Dust: I-I was with Cross!
Cross *turning around in his chair*: Wanna try again..?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Epic: Bruh, I want to give you the whole world but like...I only have 20 bucks.
Cross: Dude, come here.
Epic: *moves closer*
Cross: *hugs him*
Cross: I don't have any money but I got the world right here in my arms.
Epic: B r u h...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Killer: How high was I last night?
Dream: You forgot what milk was and called it cereal water.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Blue to Ink: What time is it...?
Ink: Don't know. Hand me that flute and I'll find out
*Ink plays the flute*
Dream: WHO THE FUCK IS PLAYING THE FLUTE AT 2 AM?!
Ink: It's 2am
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Cross doing a CROSS-word puzzle: I need a 9 letter word for disappointment....
Ink: Nightmare.
Dream and Cross slowly rising from their seats: Are you ready to fucking die..?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Blue: How do Horror and Dust get out of these messes?
Killer: They don't. They just make a bigger mess to cancel out the first one.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Passive Nightmare: Do I want to be feared or loved? Easy.
Passive: Both. I want people to be afraid of how much they love me.
Cross under his breath: Then I'm fucking terrified.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Ink: I'd like everybody's attention. Christmas is canceled.
Blue: You can't cancel a holiday.
Ink: Keep it up, Blue, and you'll lose New Year's.
Blue: What does that mean?
Ink: Dream, take New Year's away from Blue.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Lust: okay so the gingerbread house instructions say to be very delicate-
Sci: *holding power drill* DELICACY!!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Killer: I can't believe you and Horror broke the bed last night.
Dust: It must have been wild.
Lust: Haha... Yeah...
[Last Night]
Lust: Bet 35G you can't jump high enough to touch the ceiling.
Horror: Try me.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Cross: Hey ya'll. So, I know I'm the new guy here, but I think I can speak for everyone when I say... I don't know what the fuck is going on.
The Bad Guys: Agreed.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
[Sets kitchen on fire]
Dust: shit- we need an adult.
Horror: You ARE an adult!
Dust looking extremely terrified: oh...oh fuck.
Horror: WE NEED AN ADULTIER ADULT. QUICK GO GET KILLER!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Nightmare: It's hard being the leader of the bad guys sometimes, but I love them all and that's all what matters-
Horror: Nightmare! Me, Fell, Dust, Killer, and Lust tried to make ramen in the coffee pot and we broke everything....
Nightmare: [inhales]
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Killer: You need a hobby Dust.
Dust: I already have a hobby Killer.
Killer: How many times do I have to tell you stalking Blue is not a hobby.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Error: Ink? Why are you on top of the fridge?
Ink: Can I not be wherever I want?! Maybe I like it up here!
Error:
Error: Wheres the spider?
Ink, quietly: Underneath the table...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dust: I have come up with a three-step plan to get Nightmare to marry you!
Cross: Okay...Im listening....
Dust: Step one! Get him to play truth or dare.
Cross: Never mind please stop.
Dust: Step two! Wait for him to pick dare.
Cross: Dust. I swear.
Dust: Step three! Dare him to marry you.
Cross: God damn it.
Horror from another room: IT MIGHT WORK!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Killer: Synonyms are weird. Because if you invite someone to your cottage in the forest, that just sounds nice and cozy, but if someone invites you to a cabin in the woods, you're going to die.
Blue: My favorite is 'butt-dial' vs 'booty call'
Sci: It's called connotation
Lust: Also, 'forgive me father for I have sinned'
Lust winking at horror: Vs 'sorry daddy, I've been naughty'
Horror whose face is now completely red: I-
Nightmare: Congrats! Language has officially been canceled.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dream, joking: I should have Killer kill you for that
Killer from another room: who?
Dream: Oh no its okay, I was kidding around-
Killer, walking in, with a hammer and knife in both hands: No, is he bothering you?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Classic teaching Fell how to drive: Alright, you see Dust walking in the middle of the road. What do you hit?
Fell: ...oh definitely Dust.
Classic: The brakes Fell! You hit the brakes.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dust: Quick! Take my hand!
Blue: *grabs Dusts hand* Now what?
Dust: Nothing. I just wanted to hold hands!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Cross upset: I hate you guys and I'm never talking to a single one of you ever again!
[10 minutes later]
Cross kissing everyone's forehead: Goodnight Horror, Goodnight Lust, Goodnight Dust, Goodnight Killer, Goodnight Error.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Blue: Psst! Error!
Error: what?
Blue: I made this friendship bracelet for you!
Error: Blue... you know I'm not really a jewerly person...
Blue: Oh. Its okay! You dont have to wear it-
Error: No. I'm going to wear it forever back off.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dust: Me and Killer get along fine! Right Killz?
Killer: I've never been more stressed out in my entire life.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Cross: I guess I'm just too tough to cry.
Horror: Just yesterday you were crying about snakes.
Cross sobbing a little: THEY DON'T HAVE ARMS HORROR-
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Reaper: Hey bitches!!! I've got starbuckssss-
Dust: YAY!!!
Error: FUCK YEAH-
Lust: AWESOME!
Nightmare: Reaper...please...its 3 am in the morning....
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dream: Are you a cuddler?
Killer: I AM A MACHINE OF DEATH AND DESTRUCTION- yeah I'm a cuddler.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Classic: Dont talk to me.
Papyrus: What happened brother?
Classic: I went and joined a Sans look-alike contest...
Classic: AND LOST-
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dream: Sibling relationships are weird.
Dream: Like, I'd give Nightmare my spine but no way is he borrowing my charger.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dust: Whats it like dating Nightmare?
Cross: One timeI asked him for water while he was still mad at me, and he brought be a full glass of ice and said "wait".
Dust:
Cross:
Cross: I love him-
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dust: I can't go. Stress is bad for the baby.
Killer: What baby?
Dust: Me.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Ink: I hate it when people ask me "whats the stupidest thing you've done?" Like bold of you to assume I've reached peak dumbass.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Nightmare: If someone ever kidnapped you, I would hunt them down to the ends of the earth so I could kill them.
Cross: If you asked I would literally kill everyone in this room with no hesitation.
Dream [A little terrified and disturbed]: You know this is not what normal couples say to each other right...?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Geno: How do you politely tell someone you want to hit them in the face with a brick?
Sci: One wishes to acquaint your facial features in a fundamental item used in building walls. Repeatedly.
Lust shedding a fake tear: Thats the most beautiful thing I've ever heard....
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Blue, opening a Capri-sun: Guess I'll just drink my sorrows away.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Sorry if I posted a quote twice-
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escapewriter · 4 years
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part 22 - because of love
LIE AGAIN
pairing : idol!vernon x musician!female reader
word count : 1.3k
warnings : fluff🙂
a/n : i apologize if there are any grammar mistakes. also, im sorry if its bad😞 im not very good writing this way.
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vernon inhaled and exhaled slowly to calm down his beating heart. he knew she was out there, he knew she wasn’t expecting a lot, he knew that she would this he’s crazy for doing this stupid thing, and yet, his racing heart continued to beat into overdrive.
“you ready man?” wonwoo sat beside vernon, dressed and inears all set, “ready as ill ever be.” the two made their way to backstage by the sound equipment where the rest of the boys were. bringing all their hands together, connecting their thumbs, all of their heads turned to seungcheol, expecting a speech of encouragement. “okay, first show of the tour. lets start this off right,” he brought his voice lower so only the huddled group can hear him and not the staff scurrying around them, “wonwoo, vernon, we got your back, no matter what you do, make it up to them,” they looked at each other and smiled, returning their attention back to their leader, nodding their heads. “well then, lets make this memory last a lifetime, lets have each others backs and make carats proud,” seungcheol paused, taking a breathe, “say the name!” “seventeen!” the group unfolded, patting each others backs in hopes of easing the nerves for one another.
“okay! okay! 30 seconds! everyone to your places!”
~
yn and jiyeon sat back in their chair taking a break from all the singing and screaming as a vcr playing on the big screen. yn leaned her head on jiyeon, “they weren’t kidding when they said theyre good,” a laugh erupted from jiyeons chest until it slowly died down. “yn?” her friend hummed, hearing her call her name, “they haven’t been to our side at all, they probably dont know we’re here.” yn lifted her head off her friends shoulder, “oh well, maybe its for the best. the concerts coming close to an end anyway, you wanna leave early so we can avoid traffic? plus im not feeling very well.” jiyeon had a debate in her head and looked at yn, “we can always watch very nice on youtube, lets go.”
~
dino ran down the hallway, speeding towards the dressing room where the rest of his brothers were. he barged in, slouching over with one hand on the doorknob and one on his knee. the boys looked over towards their youngest, worry and confusion written in their eyes. seungcheol walked up to dino and softly gripped his shoulders, pushing him to stand up straight, “what’s wrong?” dino attempted to talk with his heavy breathing, “yn-, jiyeon-, ah, th-they uh, um they, oh my god i cant breathe can i have WATER?”
they brought him to the couch, refreshing him with a bottle of water. after a couple of gulps, he set the water down, “i just saw jiyeon and yn leave their seats.” the boy looked up at his older brothers, mainly in search of the two who wanted them here the most. wonwoo was slouched in the seat, looking down on his lap, vernon was leaning against the wall with his arms crossed. seeing the distraught looks on their faces, mingyu immediately went to his phone, texting the two to stay a little longer.
~
“how the hell did they see us leave??” yn laughed a at jiyeon, who was holding her arm, “i guess they knew us so well. maybe we should just wait by the merch area and sit down so we dont have to walk all the way back.” jiyeon nodded her head and they made their way over to a bench and sat down. “how’s your stomach feeling?” yn had her hand over her tummy, softly rubbing it to sooth the pain, “could be better, maybe very nice being played a couple hundred times would make me feel better.”
the crowd began to scream as they heard the booming voice of dk. “MY CARATS, how are you doing tonight so far?” the fans screamed in response as all 13 of the boys smiled out into the crowd. seungcheol then spoke, causing more screams to erupt from the chests of thousands of girls. “well before we hit our final song of the night, theres a special announcement we have to make,” his voice faded as jiyeon and yn were left curious. “jiyeon, lets stand over there so we can try to see what it is.”
the two girls made their way to the curtain where it opens to the big arena. all 13 boys stood in a line while vernon and wonwoo stood in the middle of all of them while their bothers looked at them. the two stepped forward, carats screaming to get their attention. they waved for a bit and finally, vernon spoke, “hi guys, so wonwoo and i have something to confess.” the girls eyes were wide, fear for their soulmates running through their veins, “wonwoo and i found our soulmates. however, in fear of our company forces us apart, we thought we made the right decision by letting them go,” wonwoo stepped closer to vernon, continuing the speech, “obviously, it was a terrible idea because we’re dying inside. we thought it was for the best for us and for them, but nothing can break apart the power of ones soulmate connection.” they took a breath, the rest of their members coming up behind them to support them. vernon brought the mic up to his lips, “theyre here at the concert, or, they were here. she probably didnt know but i saw her, and i really hopes she knows that i saw her, and she looks beautiful,” aww’s broke out in the arena, echoing off the walls, bringing wide smiles onto vernon and wonwoo’s faces, as well as jiyeon’s and yn’s.
wonwoo took a deep breath, mentally preparing himself, “our company, pledis entertainment is one of the only companies who is against the soulmate system. they threaten their idols who find their soulmate, that if they dont break up with their soulmate, then they get kicked out of the company,” he turned to look at vernon, unable to continue and silently asking the younger to help, “the thought of that kinda scared us, which led us to do some impulsive things, but we’re risking it right now because of love.” “man that was cheesy,” laughter erupted at seungkwan’s comment and vernon rolled his eyes.
“anyway, you all know one of our songs on this album called lie again, right?” jiyeon looked at yn, eyes wide as she started jumping excitedly, “dude thats your song.” right on cue, vernon spoke, “that song, i didnt write it, and woozi didn’t either. its really special to me because my soulmate was the one who wrote it. it’s very beautiful and conveys a feeling in which i have felt the whole time i was away from her, so without any more delays, here’s lie again, dedicated to both,” he turned to wonwoo, “jiyeon,” “and yn.” the boys got into their positions as lie again began to play.
the two girls stood there hugging each other in awe, with love and warmth in their hearts. “you know, the song you wrote was perfect for them.” yn nodded her head at jiyeons comment. “you trust wonwoo?” “you trust vernon?” the two stared each other down and laughed, returning their attention back to the performance. they both had conflicted feelings about what happened, because they didnt want to be the cause of vernon or wonwoo doing something that they regret later. however the thought slipped out of their minds after finally making eye contact with their soulmates.
“damn jiyeon, we really are living the harry styles fan fiction right now.”
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zisung-archive · 5 years
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If youre up for it, i would like to know what your nct concert experience was like?
OH yeah absolutely!!!!!!!! omg i dont even know where to start its like. a hazy dream kind of ahdgkajsd i got there like three hours early because i still had to sell two tickets (which i ended up selling on site luckily) and because there was a bunch of fan events planned with fansites handing out banners and other stuff of the sort. i also ended up meeting some people who i had met the day before and we just. hung out and everyone was playing nct music and having a dance off and it was just nice atmosphere :( i got two banners (even though one of them ended up being confiscated because it was too solid and apparently the venue was very iffy about that) one of them was for welcoming mark back home it was really cute and im so impressed with people who print these in masses because they were super nice quality. anyway im drifting off ahgsd so once i was inside which was quite early? because i was ahead in queue i queued up for the merch line which was pointless since the stuff was sold out super fast and the concert was starting and the queue was still really really long so i ended up just going to my seat!!!!!!! which was third row floor KJHDGASJHD i still…cant believe how lucky i got with my ticket. the girl next to me was the person i sold my other ticket to and she was super friendly and we chatted away until it actually started and once the lights went dark everyone got up from their seats and then it was just. yeah. a dream. i cant even explain how many things i felt i was shaking and i was sort of just. in shock. and then they came on one by one and GKJZUA(OSÖKLDJNBAHVSGDZZUÜAPSIÖLDj, god I CANT EVEN EXPLAIN they performed a cherry bomb remix first and i tried to film some of the stages but i also wanted to enjoy the moment for most of them so i tried to keep the filming at a minimum. but i still sorta needed proof that. that happened??!?!? and i was THERE?!?!?!? fucking hell. also. had i filmed the whole way through the following wouldnt have happened. they were performing summer 127 and during that stage they always have their baskets with signed balls that they throw into the crowd and………………………..taeil was standing by our side of the stage and he SAW MME HE WAS LOOKING AT ME AND THANK FUCK I WASNT HOLDING MY PHONE BECUASE SUDDENLY HE WAS TOSSING ME HIS BALL AND I WAS LIKE ?!?!=!)=“!(/§=)”I!GEUIO”KUEHBSJDSADn ,mNBD SNABD AND THEN IT WAS IN MY HANDS. JUST LIKE THAT FUCKING DASLIUDljkNAJSBHDg I COULDNT BREATHE I WAS SHAKING SO MUCH AND I LEGIT WHIPPED OUT MY PHONE AND TOOK A PICTURE BECAUSE I LITERLALY THOUGHT I WAS DREAMING. I LEGIT THOUGHT ITS GONNA DISAPPEAR BEFORE MY EYES. BUT IT WAS STILL THERE AND THEN THE GIRL IN FRONT OF ME WAS LIKE “YOU CAUGHT THAT????” AND I JUST WANTED TO CRY KSADHJbvh the girl next to me congratulated me cuz she knew i was a taeil stan :( and she said i deserve it……………..HDJASUKZJLD god i cant even believe it still dude u could tell me that never happened and id genuinely consider it but the ball is literally next to me on my bedside table. god…………………..anyway. i need to talk about johnny. johnny was?????????????????? the most charming man alive my attention gravitated to him CONSISTENTLY he always interacted with fans and his DANCING EXPRESSIONS ARE SO GOOD?? like hes. so smug and ugh hes got this allure. bitch. anyway. whenever someone yelled his name he would LEGIT LOOK AT THEM and he always stood by my side of the stage and id shoot him hearts and hed look over and HAVE THE GOOFIEST SMILE ON HIS FACE i fell really hard for johnny that day. doyoung also looked at me a bunch of times and i have a video of the replay stage where they rock their fanlights and doyoung pointed at fans with his and one time he pointed at me and i have a video of it DASZDIUJLKNABSHDGu fucking. SCREAM….no words could describe my love for nct im fucking telling you…….my heart is so full just talking about it. they seriously gave their everything for every stage it was SO high energy and i totally expected them to be at least a little bit fatigued considering the amount of cities they already visited at that point but??? no hints of that. none. they were super chatty at the ments and i know its their job and all but theyre just. so professional and bright and oh my god let me tell you JUNGWOO was so smiley the whole time :( and every members expression lit up whenever they noticed fans singing along like it was. magical. its like theyre still baffled that fans know their lyrics……its so. endearing. oh god this is long but anyway they were amazing doyoungs highnotes sounded extra good live not to say im shocked but im still shocked. everything about this experience feels like. i cant even comprehend it it feels like a dream i know i keep repeating myself but theres no other way to put it. theyre as good as i expected them to be and better. theyre so so professional and powerful and energetic and bright my heart blooms just thinking about it. after the concerts some fans still lingered to talk about everything but i was sort of in a haze tbh shagdkj i just. was completely quiet the whole time just kind of processing what just happened and i was clutching my ball and UDLJKAVGSFDTIZ() anyway…yeah. that lamely sums it up.
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sadprose-auroras · 5 years
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‘About Time’ - Roger TaylorxFem!Reader (Part 1)
A/N: Hello my darlings! I can’t decide if I hate this or not, and I’m not sure if I’ll continue writing this, depends on the response. Please let me know if you want me to continue it (it would probably require way more parts, like a full on series). Hope you enjoy! - Also, this can apply to Ben Hardy’s portrayal of Roger. Whatever you prefer!
(This was totally inspired by a couple time travel fics I read a few weeks ago, I can’t remember the authors or the names but all credits to them for the time travel idea…. LOVE. IT. I just HAD to write my own, crappier version)
Find my other works here!
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 You sunk to the floor, your knees giving out beneath you. You felt ridiculous, curling up in a ball, in your wardrobe, but you had reached your breaking point; everything had suddenly hit you. As you hugged your knees, sobbing, your jeans became tear-soaked. Your mind wandered, as your cheeks flamed in embarrassment and shame about your current state, despite nobody being around. How did you get here? A few months ago, your life was great. You had a great job, a great circle of friends and boyfriend, and you were pursuing your passion; studying fashion design. Then, everything began to crumble around you. All your friends turned on you, you got fired, and your studies began to slip as a result, causing you to fail an exam.  
 If all that wasn’t bad enough, you found out your boyfriend of two years had been cheating on you for a year and 11 months. Go figure. It was as if the universe was playing some long, cruel joke on you, just to see how long before you gave up on trying to pursue any kind of happiness. Just as you came to the conclusion that you really had nothing to fight for, leaning your head back on the wall behind you and closing your eyes, the strangest feeling overcame you. Your head began to spin, and pins and needles covered your entire body. You tried to open your eyes, to move your body, but you were frozen. Your heart rate increased rapidly, and you began to think that this was really it. Whatever was happening, you were going to die. Strangely enough, you couldn’t find it in yourself to care.  
 By some miracle, everything stopped. The pins and needles ceased, and, save a throbbing headache, you felt much better. You experimentally wiggled your toes, and you had feeling back again. Hesitantly, you opened your eyes, looking around you. It was dark, but you could make out the shapes of the clothes hanging around you. Oddly, you didn’t recognise any of them. The chair that was next to you when you closed your eyes was gone, replaced by a shoe rack.  
You stood up, closed your eyes again and rubbed your temples, trying to rid of the probable hallucinations. You racked your brain, thinking back to when you studied psychosis in high school. You couldn’t remember a thing. Was temporary paralysis a symptom? 
 You decided you needed to call a doctor. You pulled your iPhone out of your pocket, still in the dark, and opened up safari. You had no wifi, and no reception. Frowning, you opened the wardrobe door, the knob feeling unfamiliar, to be greeted by a figure doing the same. The door swung open suddenly, bouncing on its hinges.
 You both screamed loudly, and, without looking at the figure in front of you, you tried to push past to get away, however, a hand gripped you and pulled you back. 
 Your eyes became fixed on the man in front of you. You frowned, unable to tear your eyes off him. The hallucinations were getting worse; you were conjuring up images of people in your home. Hang on. You knew his face all too well; you had spent hours watching him drum and sing at concerts on YouTube. It couldn’t be, could it?
 “Who are you, and what the hell are you doing in my wardrobe!?” he asked, releasing his grip on you. You winced, rubbing where his fingernails had dug into you. This was all too much.
 “I should be asking you the same thing, why are you in my house? What’s going on?” you looked around the room, expecting to see your familiar bedroom; your posters plastered around the walls, your colourful duvet, and your plush white carpet. Instead, the walls were empty, the duvet was blue, and the carpet was grey.
 “I need to sit down,” you said, overwhelmed, perching on the edge of the unfamiliar bed. You glanced up at the man in front of you, his expression still shocked and wide-eyed, as he looked you up and down, his brows furrowing. 
 “God, you seem so real,” you laughed. “But there’s no way.”“What the fuck do you mean?” he replied. “I know I’m real, but I can’t say the same about you. I’ve never known anyone who can just appear out of thin air,” he shook his head in disbelief. 
 You frowned, rubbing your hands through your hair. “What do you mean, I appeared out of thin air?” your stomach began to sink. For reasons you couldn’t explain, something else was going on. Something much weirder than you initially thought.
 “Well, I don’t see how you could have got into my wardrobe without me seeing. I’ve been in my room for 20 minutes.” You glanced at his legs, frowning. What kind of person wears flared jeans anymore? 
 “I, um,” you began, a laugh escaping your lips despite yourself. This was all too ridiculous. You were actively avoiding eye contact with him. You figured if you acknowledged that it was him, at that age, in front of you, this would all go away. It was impossible. Suddenly, it all came together, as shocking as it was. It wasn’t him that was in the wrong place, it was you. This wasn’t your house. You had no wifi or reception. And, Roger Taylor, looking as he did circa 1972, was right in front of you. Had you time travelled? Your head span at the possibility. What else could explain these strange occurrences? 
 “What year is it?” you asked, this time properly meeting his eyes this time. Photos didn’t do the real thing justice; his baby blue eyes were maintaining steady eye contact with you, his lips were slightly parted, and his hair looked so soft and angelic. He was insanely beautiful. You internally cursed yourself. Now was definitely not the time.  
“1972…” he said, becoming even more confused. Your theory was confirmed. You’d watched all of the Back to the Future movies countless times, but you’d never imagined anything like that could ever really happen. Especially to you; plain, boring, old you. 
 “I know you’re probably not inclined to believe the crazy girl from your wardrobe, but I think,” you bit your lip, concerned at how he would take the news. “I think I’m from the future.” 
----------
 “So, you’re telling me you didn’t do anything for this to actually happen?” Roger asked. After trying to explain to him a million times, that yes, you were in fact just as confused as him, and no, you didn’t climb through his window, you tried to remain patient. He had every right to be confused as hell, you would definitely react the same if you were in his shoes. Despite this though, he was oddly trusting, allowing you to remain in his house and actually giving you the time of day to explain your side of the story. He even offered you a glass of water and something to eat, which you accepted gratefully. You were starving. 
 “Yes, I was literally just in my wardrobe, then the next thing I knew we were screaming in each other’s faces.” 
 “How do I know you’re telling the truth? You don’t seem very sane so far. I’m going to need some proof. You could just be a crazy girl who will do anything to sleep with me,” he smirked. You rolled your eyes. So the stories were true, he really was cocky.
 “Don’t flatter yourself, Taylor,” you retorted. “And no,” you said quickly, as he opened his mouth to speak, “I don’t know your surname because I’m a crazy stalker.” Your mind wandered to your extensive Queen record and CD collection. Okay, so maybe you were a little, but he didn’t need to know that. 
 “I know because Queen makes it big. I mean, massive.” You bit your lip nervously. If Back to the Future taught you anything, nobody should know too much about their own future. For the first time in your life, you had to think about what you said before you said it.
“How can I convince you?” you asked.
“I don’t know,” he sighed. “What year do you claim to come from, anyway?”
“2019,” you bit your lip. 
His eyes widened in disbelief. “Shit,” he mumbled. “Am I….?”
 “Still alive? Yeah.” Suddenly, you had an idea. You pulled your phone out of your pocket, thankful it was still charged. You turned it on, the time and date you had left still displayed on the screen (18th January 2019, 11:00), in front of a picture of Queen from 1975. You turned the screen towards him. 
 “Holy shit, is that me?” he gasped, leaning forward. “2019.” He looked up at you, and you shrugged and nodded. You were thankful he didn’t know the implications of having a picture of somebody as your lockscreen. 
 “There’s something else,” you unlocked your phone, opening music and searching for ‘Doing Alright.’ You pressed play, the song pouring out of the speakers.
Yesterday, my life was in ruin
Now today, I know what I’m doing… 
“Oh my god, that’s our song! We haven’t even released it yet.” He chuckled. You couldn’t help but grin at his excitement, encapsulated by his gorgeous smile. 
 “Wanna hear more?” you smirked. It’s funny, you had never felt so comfortable around somebody so quickly. You couldn’t quite put your finger on it, but something about him relaxed you. 
----------
 “Have you noticed I haven’t asked about that thing you’re holding, ‘cause I’m too scared to?”
 You laughed, covering your mouth with your hand. You’d spent the last half an hour playing Roger a few more Queen songs. A small nagging voice in the back of your mind was telling you to stop, to not reveal anything about his future, no matter how small. But Roger’s pleading to hear more won.
 “It’s actually a phone,” you said, to answer his question. “Well, that’s its main purpose anyway. You can use it to take and store pictures, play music, and use the internet. Which, well, you’ll find out about in approximately 18 years.”
 “I’m intrigued, what’s the internet?” he asked. You thought of all the unspeakable things you had come across on social media, and shook your head.“You don’t want to know.” He raised an eyebrow at you, and you tried to suppress a blush.  
You cleared your throat, averting your eyes from him as you straightened up in your seat. “What’s the time?” you asked. He glanced down at his watch. “3am,” he laughed in disbelief. “We should probably get some sleep. I’ll sleep on the couch.” 
 You shook your head rapidly, taken aback by his utter kindness. “Oh my god no, please, I will. It’s your house,” you said, getting up from the chair you were sitting on. He did the same. You both stood awkwardly, basically staring at each other. You couldn’t help but think of the times you watched a Queen documentary on TV, with the Roger of your time’s commentary. It was hard to believe the man in front of you was the same person.  
 He cleared his throat, tearing his eyes off you, and going into his bedroom, mumbling something about getting something for you to sleep in.  
 As you awaited his return, you couldn’t help but wonder why you were so focused on how flustered you were around Roger, and not worried about the fact that you were literally stuck in the wrong year, and had no idea how to get back. The funny thing was, you had no desire to. You hadn’t felt so at home in a long time, than when you were laughing and talking with Roger. He made you feel so safe, so quickly. And that feeling would only grow stronger when you both gave up on convincing the other to sleep on the couch, and ended up sharing his bed. 
PART 2: BONUS CONTENT THAT I WROTE THE SAME DAY AS PART ONE. I’M NOT GOING TO CONTINUE IT BUT WHAT’S THE POINT OF HAVING IT IN A WORD DOC N NOT POSTING IT?
When I was writing this, I couldn’t stop imagining rom-com moments. Like, the outfit section? A cute montage with a cute song. Damn I wish I could express the images in my head more clearly, in words. My writing sucks. 
“Y/N, wake up. Y/N!!” A familiar, yet foreign, voice startled you. As you came to your senses, you realised your usual soft, silky sheets were replaced with cotton ones, and an unusual smell wafted around you. You slowly opened your eyes, to be greeted by Roger leaning over you, a slightly annoyed look on his face. Fuck. It was real. He must’ve read your disappointment on your face, and he smiled sympathetically and nodded.
“Yep, you’re still here,” he mumbled. You couldn’t help but sigh; you’d hoped it was a really long, unusual dream.
“I have to go to rehearsal for a gig tonight. Do you wanna come?” Of course you didn’t want to pass up the opportunity to meet the rest of the band, and literally see the magic happen, you couldn’t help but feel like you were invading. But then again, who could say they had the chance to sit in on an early Queen rehearsal, especially knowing how successful and impactful they were going to become?
“I don’t – I don’t want to intrude,” you mumbled, sitting up in the bed and clutching the duvet around you, suddenly feeling exposed in Roger’s white shirt.
“Well it’s your choice, I understand that you probably don’t want to sit around with us when you could be finding a way back home or finding your parents or something,” he said.
Although you would never admit it, you wanted nothing more than to go with him. Not only was it literally history in the making, but the absence of your birth parents in your life, leading to a childhood of foster families who couldn’t care less about you, gave you a sense of independence at a young age. You knew how to be alone, seeking solace in music. Music created by the greats like Queen made you feel less alone, as silly as it sounded. It was your escape from the struggles in your real life.
“Wait, no. I want to come. If you don’t mind. But I need something 70s appropriate to wear,” you chuckled, glancing over at your high-waisted skinny jeans and cropped knit jumper folded neatly on a chair.
“I think that can be arranged.” Roger grinned at you, and you were struck with yet another wave of disbelief. Roger Taylor was going to lend you come of his iconic clothes.
After spending a couple of hours going through Roger’s clothes, which was your absolute dream, you finally settled on a pair of pants that were a little too short, and a shirt that was slightly too tight across the chest. You tried to spice up the outfit with a few of Roger’s necklaces, much to his dismay.
“Do I look okay?” you asked when you stepped out, twirling around with your arms out.
Roger, standing with a pile of clothes in his arms that you had rejected, furrowed his brows and looked you up and down. You couldn’t help but stifle a giggle at the sight; he was taking his job as your stylist very seriously.
“You’ll almost fit in,” he said, “although, the shirt is too tight,” he finished bluntly, gesturing to your chest. You folded your arms instinctively.
“Don’t worry, I won’t look at your boobs.” You frowned at this. Was that meant to make you feel better? Why did you feel slightly disappointed?
“Um, thanks?” you scoffed. “What should I do with my hair?” you tugged on each of your French braids. Roger walked towards you without warning, and pulled out your hair ties, running his fingers through your hair.
“Just leave it loose.” He said hoarsely, his face dangerously close to yours. Your heart was beating rapidly, and you couldn’t take your eyes off him. He was biting his lip in concentration, his eyes squinting as he adjusted your hair. It took everything in you to not lean into his touch; his fingers were so delicate. As he pushed a strand of hair out of your face, his eyes met yours.
“Perfect,” he almost whispered, his breath sending shivers down your spine. You knew you should pull away. You knew this would get way too complicated. Your rationality was telling you to snap out of it. But as his hands smoothly came to rest around your neck, bringing you closer, something else entirely was driving your actions.  Just as you began to lean in, he pulled away, clearing his throat loudly.
“Let me get you a coat,” he said, quickly rushing away from you. You bit your lip, cheeks flaming. You were humiliated. What were you thinking, trying to kiss him? He obviously wasn’t attracted to you; the weird, pathetic crazy time-traveller. You didn’t even belong here anyway, how could you possibly think he would want you? Your eyes began to well up, you just had to get out of there.
As you quickly began to gather your clothes and phone, furiously wiping the tears from your eyes, Roger returned with a fur coat in his arms.
“Here, this should fit – wait, what’s wrong?” he asked, realising your state.
“I’m just gonna go. I’m so sorry to have invaded your life like this, you shouldn’t have to deal with my weird ass problems. Thank you for everything. It was nice meeting you, I guess. I’ll never forget you,” you rambled, becoming increasingly embarrassed, trying to walk past him. He gently placed his hands on your upper arms, turning you to face him.
“Hey, hey, I don’t have to help you, okay? I want to. If you’ll let me.” he said, a surprisingly vulnerable look on his face.
“But, I’m burdening you too much! You can’t have me holding you back from living your normal life. You don’t want me clinging to your side like some kind of….” You paused, struggling to find the right words in your frazzled state. “Some kind of leech. I mean, I’m just annoying. For God’s sake, we have nothing in common! I’m technically young enough to be your daughter!”
Roger laughed softly. “Okay, first of all, you’re not a leech. And yes, it’s weird that you’re from the future, and I’ll probably never wrap my head around it, but so what? We shouldn’t get along, but we do.” You hoped he couldn’t notice your blush at this.
“And, lastly,” he said, a cheeky smirk on his face, “the thought of you being my daughter is gross, but me being your daddy on the other hand…”
“Oh my god, Roger! No!” you couldn’t help but laugh, as you rapidly shook your head. You couldn’t tell if he was joking or not; you secretly hoped he wasn’t.
“So, do you still wanna come to rehearsal?” he asked, all joking aside.
You sighed, hoping you weren’t being a burden. “Okay, give me that then,” you grabbed the coat off him, pulling it on.
“Do I look normal?” you asked.
“No,” he smirked, and you raised your eyebrows at him. “In a good way, though. Come on,” he said, grabbing your hand. You tried to ignore the jolts of electricity you felt from this sweet gesture. You never thought simply holding hands with someone would give you so many butterflies.
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jollyroget-blog · 5 years
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Becoming me
Why did I stop being religious? I mean a trillion reasons but most of the fun ones came later. After my dad and my ex step mother had their "incident" and separated I didnt really have anyone to hang out with on shabbos when I was there. When I was with my mother, it wasnt much better as I really didnt get along with my stepfather (which I now realize was just because I was traumatized and didnt want any step parents near me). I did try to have some sort of relationship with my family but they didnt understand me and honestly I didnt really feel like they were family. They were just some strange people who for some reason wanted me to hang out with them for literally no reason as they never really spoke to me or anything. So I was alone during a time where I really shouldnt have been. I didnt have many friends and the couple I had, i didnt feel comfortable telling them what had happened. We were young and bad things hadnt happened to any of us yet so I kind of just cut them all off.  I think they were offended but i just couldnt have them know that my life was no longer sweet and innocent like theirs. So then came high school and a few months later...and then came the nervous breakdown. It was on shabbos. If I had just been able to pick up my phone and call someone I would have been okay ( I now recognize that I should have and it would have been forgivable but at the time i couldnt imagine ever breaking shabbos). So i just crumbled. I never attempted suicide, though I wanted to desperately that night, because I figured that whatever consequences there are for that were worse that living and sticking it out, so I just cried and prayed and begged hashem to let me sleep and to please not wake me up in the morning I didnt know much about drugs or alcohol at the time so I just tried to knock myself out my banging my head against things. Eventually I cried myself to sleep telling myself that I had to at least pull myself out of this enough to recognize that there had to be a lesson learnt from this whole thing and I did find it and I know that was what saved me and I will always be proud of that. This was my first experience with sleep paralysis which i was never able to explain but was a  terrifying thing. I couldnt move or wake up but I was hearing people screaming at me, shrieking with laughter and it was utterly horrifying. when I woke up I had claw marks all over my arms. I tried to say modeh ani, but said it through tears as if I was accepting a punishment. I still have trouble saying it to this day. I was never the same after that. I still kept shabbos but would break down every friday night. My mother stopped making me come down for meals (but always set my place at the table for me no matter what and for some reason as I am writing this entire thing, this part is what bring me to tears. She is literally the best person in the world.)  and i would just go up to my room and cry and pray and beg hashem to please help me keep shabbos in any way because it was getting to be too painful as it was. I started dreading shabbos and getting anxiety even by Wednesday because I knew it meant 24 hours of more pain. I would literally just cry through the whole thing. I wasnt drinking yet but I would resort to hurting myself physically in any way I could think of because for some reason that was what helped me sleep. I have no idea why. I would wake up covered in bruises all over my body and just look in the mirror and cry more until it was over ...then wait till the next week. Eventually I took to drinking, I was still a teenager so I would sneak out my window to the liqueur shop that accepted my fake id and just drink myself into a coma. All this time praying and begging for hashem to take this pain away so that I could keep shabbos because I wasnt sure how much longer I could hold on. Eventually I was healthy enough to make some new friends. They werent jewish and I did stop keeping shabbos slowly. first thing I did was leave the TV on so that I would be able to pull myself out of the sleep paralysis...eventually I would turn it on or off....eventually I would go out with my friends and do whatever they did because I just couldnt anymore. I never stopped praying and I never stopped telling hashem that I would love to keep shabbos again if he would only help me find a community and friends to do it with. After i stopped keeping shabbos, everything else followed. I always kept to a standard of kosher but I no longer had any jewish friends. My parents had pulled me out of my old high school after I had been rushed to the ER when I had slashed my leg with a pencil sharpener blade and Id spent some time in a mental hospital and my new school was much more relaxed, but it was far and I was the only person in the grade. (yes that is the end of that sentence. it was a small school and my grade consisted of only me..). I was terribly lonely and the friends I found were from concerts, art school and various parties. Many of them were good people and really did help me as at that time it was my life that needed saving and not just my faith.   i missed shabbos terribly. It was an empty space that I couldnt even acknowledge because it was too painful and too far away, picturing myself at a shabbos table full of friends and family, sitting on the couch reading books together, going for walks, and of course that feeling that only shabbos can give you which I hadnt felt in years. Anyway like i said after shabbos, everything else follows. Shabbos nurtures our emunah and mine was fading and fast. It was a terribly painful experience. I thought about death constantly and it absolutely terrified me. I thought to myself one night, during a particular bad moment (I believe i was anorexic and drinking constantly at the time, having sex with whoever whenever) that I thought to myself...this is hell. This is what our hell is. Being distant and empty and losing touch with any and all purpose. It sounds basic it really does but it was a horrible feeling and I truly understood what kind of punishment kaaret could be. I dont remember exaclty what went on for how long but thats basically how it went. It took me a long time to accept that I was no longer "religious". I told my mother this once and she told me that I am religious and Im just having a hard time but I still keep mitzvot and guide my life by the torah as much as I can and I'm so grateful to her for that. She insisted on keeping the title for me and I am sure it saved me in some way.  I never skipped a major fast and yom kippur was coming up. I was nervous as i never broke chag on yom kippur and i knew I had a lot to atone for and to think about. I was in a really terrible place and felt  like my soul was actually dying and i cant describe how much it hurt. I sat on the edge of my bed as the chag came in and wept for a good couple of hours. eventually I was in a panick and couldn't catch my breath. I prayed desperately for strength and for comfort and most importantly some sort of direction so that I didnt have to do this anymore. I was done I didnt want to be like this. Suddenly a calm came over me. I literally felt it spread from my head to my fingertips down to my knees and toes and i got my breath back...a voice inside my head then spoke to me (In my own language which I always appreciated about epiphanies) and said...."lets do this. let get the fuck to Israel"....I guess the rest is history. I called my dad after chag and said " i need to go back" and it turned out they had just decided to have my brothers bar mitzvah there so yeah..that happened.  It was never said that I was going to be staying in Israel but my mother got me an extra suitcase and made sure I had my papers with me "just in case. The night before I left my mom came in to talk to be sobbing like ive never seen her cry before so I told her "mommy dont. Ill visit."..i think that was the first time we kinda said anything about it out loud. she said (well, hiccuped, as she could barely get the words out) "I want you to be happy. I just wish that it could be here. But im proud of you".When we got to the airport and we were boarding the plane my eyes filled with tears and the same little voice in my head said "its over. You did it you're going. Its gonna happen you're gonna be okay" and I had the same feeling when I got to the kotel ( which i made sure to be alone for). My first night in Israel all i wanted to do was walk. I walked all night. I savored everything, I smelled everything, breathed the air, ran my hands along the stone walls taking it all in because I knew that I was literally living inside my own personal miracle. It took me a while and I did have some major ups and downs here like this was far from a smooth transition. I still had trouble with alcohol and hadnt kept a shabbos in years and it of course still had that stigma but I was here and I was ready and I knew that I was finally on my way and most importantly, I didnt feel my soul dying anymore. My first shabbos alone in israel was just me by myself in my sublet apartment with some cheap groceries, a glass of wine and two pitas which today would have sounded like the worlds most depressing night, but when I lit my candles and heard the shabbos bell go off and I had my little set up in the city I had always dreamed of living in, I felt so at peace and for the first time in a long time, I didnt feel alone in this planet and I knew that everything was going to be okay as long as I did my part. So thats it. Thats me. Theres way more obviously i had a lot of work to do but I never stopped moving forward and I dont plant to settle until Im "as frum as I can get I guess" which is always my answer when people ask me what I want to be. I found a group of friends. They dont know this whole story so theyll never really understand what they are to me which is literally, in every sense of the word, the answer to my prayers. every single one of them. Now when I light for shabbos, I picture my own shabbos table set and waiting, my husband coming home from shul, my kids sitting on the couch together reading books, and the spirit of shabbos shining through my home from the light of my candles and the comfort of knowing that its all real. Finally its no longer a painful wish, but its still a prayer and i feel it closer to reality every day. 
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