#ABANDONING HIM IN A BURNING ROOM kind of deeply fucked up. he killed that kid. Simon you done killed a damn kid. wt actual f
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sometimes im normal and then sometimes i think about how robin had been on the run for 20 years starting at age fucking 8 and when we meet her she's actively aiding in the destabilization of a country and gets so many people killed but one of the first things luffy says about her is that she isnt a bad person. I particularly think about her first appearance and her interactions with crocodile, because crocodile is (much like other OP characters) kind of a ridiculous man in his dramatic overcoat and his giant pets he feeds people to and. do you think robin was emulating him in that way with her own personal giant dramatic coat and cowboy fit. on the run for 20 years ever since she was a child, having to make herself useful to people so that they wouldnt suddenly abandon her, emulating her boss not only to gain his favor but also to try and appear intimidating herself? how many times had she done something like this. robin is a character who presents herself in so many ways, always wrapping herself up in an air of mystery and intrigue but shes also so deeply childish, she constantly makes morbid jokes about her situation because the last lesson one of the only people who cared about her gave her was that what else is there to do but laugh. to never stop laughing. having lived on the run she knows that an assassin is most effective when their weapon is concealed and yet she freely shows off her powers just to gain their trust. to play with luffy and chopper and usopp. how gratifying do you think robin felt when nami called her a sister. in skypiea she's constantly providing tactical assistance in how to survive in the wilderness but she's afraid when luffy and usopp start laughing at her suggestions. lets make a bonfire, robin! we're out camping, this is what you're supposed to do! she freezes in the same way she did when the kids on ohara laughed at her but even when the straw hats happily invite her to party she still stands on the edge, sitting further from the rest. she doesn't know what to do there. she had no will to live after luffy had saved her but one of the truly happiest moments she has is when she's not even cheering, just sitting in awe seeing the ancient city in the sky. was she thinking of her friends then? she never had friends her own age, just scholars multiple times her age and yet they were still her friends, who would never get to see this sight. when aokiji reappears and nearly kills them, shes stonefaced upon waking up that the straw hats even considered having a sleepover in her room. because they were worried about her. she's never had a sleepover, and it's something so simple to the straw hats, that of course they wouldn't see their friend as someone to use. she's never escaped the headspace she was in when she had to run away from the mountains of corpses of a burning ohara. the first and last thing her mother ever said to her was that she didnt know her, no matter how much she wanted to embrace her daughter. she never had the chance to say goodbye. she never had the chance to grow up.
sometimes i think about how nico robin was in many ways raised by her friends in the straw hats with their love for her and hauve covid
#zerav meta#one piece#nico robin#robin is a decade older than her friends but she was literally raised by them. showered in love by them. everything was given so freely#and of course she would burn the world for their sakes
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Zoe Week; Day 5-ROTT
So I know we got given a free day considered ROTT was...what it was but I decided to still go with the prompt and it turned into more of a small rewrite than just a ‘Let’s slip Zoe into this scene’. Zoe is everyone’s braincell and we know it.
Also I tried writing a fight scene....I donno how well it turned out lol
AO3
~*~*~*~*~*~
“He WHAT?!”
Zoe stared at the assembled guardians, the kids, that had gone up against the demigods bent on restarting the world with that crazy plan to strip them of their powers, only for it to fail. Yes, they were alive. Yes, they had Nari, in spirit, but the Arcane Order had her body, had Douxie, and that was not okay for her! That stupid, self-sacrificing idiot! Of course he'd do something like that! But all it would do would buy them time and just what was going to happen when those power hungry beings found out?! It wasn't going to be good, that was for sure and now Zoe had to hatch a plan to try and save her idiot before something bad happened.
Ignoring the overlapping explanations and assurances they'd come up with a plan, Zoe marched her way out of the ex-throne room and down to what was becoming her studio. Shuffling around the various tomes and grimoires, she searched for the one she was certain had the spell she needed to find him, growling to herself when she couldn't. This is what she got for not sorting through all these yet. Finally, just when she'd been about to say 'fuck it' and do it without the book, she dug up the dusty purple codex of scrying and grinned in victory. Oh, she was finding that idiot of hers and then she was going to give him a piece of her mind once he was safe.
Coming back upstairs, the pinked haired witch flipped through the book, looking for the magic circle that would allow her to find Douxie. Ignoring everyone's voices, she quickly read through the directions, reminding herself how it worked and set to etching runes in the air with her wand. The symbols of power fell to the floor in sparking pink power, forming the necessary element for her spell. “Nari.” She called, “I'm gonna need Archie for a moment.”
The little nature spirit, inhabiting her partners body, let his familiar go from her hold as she finished the magic circle, sending the tomb to rest on the floor outside it. Sitting in the center, Archie crawled into her lap in dragon form, already having a feeling on what she was going to try to do. Normally she could sense Douxie's power, they'd known each other for so after all it was easy, but between distance and most likely being blocked, she couldn't without help. It would be easier if their magic was bonded, tied together for the rest of eternity and the ultimate sign of trust and love between magic users but...they weren't. Not for lack of wanting to but their lives had been pretty hectic and dangerous and bonding their magic came with lots of consequences as well as benefits. If one of them died...it would be the worse kind of hell on the other. And as much as they loved each other they hadn't wanted to have the other suffer so. But maybe, after all this, they'd change that.
“Uh..what are you gonna do?” Toby asked, standing near as he watched the pulsing pink runes.
“I'm going to track Douxie using the bond between him and Archie.” She explained, holding the dragon-cat gently, one hand scratching between his ears, “It should, in theory, help me find where the Order is holding him.” Then they would retrieve him and she was going to kick his ass for putting himself in danger, again.
Everyone took that as the queue to be quiet, to let her work, and Zoe breathed in deeply, letting her magic seep out and take shape. The circle glowed as she let herself fall into a trance, focusing on Archie, who was relaxed in her lap, his own magic open to letting hers in. She found the bond, a shining string of magic that was warm, comforting, powerful, reaching out beyond their little space in search of their missing wizard. She followed it as it swirled, twisting and turning through the space between, searching, searching, searching until-There! It sung brightly, tightening like a perfectly tuned guitar string and humming with life and she knew in that moment just where to find him.
Opening her eyes, a pink glow encompassing them, she grinned sharply. The Order didn't know what was coming to them.
~*~*~*~
The group entered the abandoned train tunnel, sans one Trollhunter, looking for any sign of the Order or Douxie. Zoe knew she had been harsh when she told Jim he needed to stay behind but she was not going to take back what she said. He was injured and therefore a liability and she wasn't going to let him kill himself or any of his friends if things were to go pear shaped. But hopefully they wouldn't and they'd be able to rescue Douxie with minimal trouble.
Her blue eyes roamed over the various crates and scaffolding, sensing him near but unable to see him. But she just knew he was here. Even as the group spread out and looked around old, crumbling crates and rusty metal drums, confused as to why they couldn't find anyone, Zoe was reaching out with her magic, searching for her wayward husband. Frowning down at the tracks, something just wasn't sitting right with her, she tried her best to see and think like Douxie would. There had to be something here she was missing...
She blinked, a thought coming suddenly and could it really be that easy?
Trotting up a staircase to get higher ground, she looked down at the tracks, shaking her head lightly because for some eon's old beings, Skrael and Bellroc really couldn't be original? “Their hiding in plain sight!” She shouted to assembled guardians, flicking her wand out and rearranging the train tracks, “They've made a giant sigil with the tracks!” The tracks moved, soon lighting up and dispelling the room around them, revealing a much darker room and three beings in the center.
She wasn't sure if they were aware they weren't alone anymore but it looked as if the demigods of ice and fire were taunting who they thought were Nari. She, or rather Douxie, was hovering in the air, held aloft by his hands in glowing magic and maybe, possibly keeping quiet as to continuing fooling the gods. But then, as they were staring confusedly as the Genius Seals, wondering why they weren't opening, he opened his big fat mouth.
“Abracadabra, Buttsnacks.”
Zoe groaned, because why had he said that?! But before the Order could do more than threaten him, she raised her wand high and cried, “Hey! Hands off!” She then sent a bolt of pink lighting down, just barely hitting Skreal, and then it was on!
Everyone jumped into action, firing and fighting the two remaining members of the Order. Zoe jumped down, joining the fray, firing spells and shields as she made way to Nari's body. She was put to a stop though as the icy wizard floated in front of her, brandishing his staff. Oh, if he wanted a fight, he was getting a fight. Ignoring Douxie's strained call of her name, the hedge-witch ducked a swing of the staff, dodging to the right and not giving in to Skreal's taunting. Hedge-witch or not, didn't mean she wasn't powerful and she wasn't about to let these bastards win.
Zoe fired spell after spell, wildly missing the floating god as he chuckled darkly at her. But that was okay, all part of the plan because when he least expect it she smirked and performed a round-house kick, planting her foot below his belt with a cry of “Rule Number Three!!”
As Skrael crumpled, she turned back to Douxie in Nari's body, running closer and hoping she could break the spell keeping him in the air. Fire had started to burn everywhere, the old wood catching easily to the spells Bellroc fired off but she ignored all that as she examined the magic around Douxie's wrists. She shushed him as he tried to talk to her, needing to concentrate on what she was doing, hopefully she wouldn't need Claire's help. Then a dark chuckle came from behind her.
“You won't break him free.” She turned to glare at Bellroc, their ever fluctuating voice grating on her nerves, “That magic is too powerful for even a full fledged wizard, let alone a little hedge-witch.” She growled as they laughed at her. And maybe she wouldn't be able to break it herself but if she could break this beings concentration... A wicked grin came to her face, feral as she remembered the chaos she'd wrecked at Killahead, and she began drawing runes behind her back.
“You're right...Guess I'll just have to make you break it.”
And with a flash of pink, twenty more Zoe's surrounded the demigod.
Crying out, Bellroc began to blast away her clones, easily poofing them from existence, which was fine as it was only meant as a distraction. The real Zoe dodged behind him, thankful for the rest of the crew keeping Skrael busy as she charged her magic. She'd only have one shot at this and she hoped it worked. It had been a while since she last did this. Bringing her now brightly flashing hands together, she drew them apart, a glowing, sparking, pink arrow held between them.
“Foolish girl! This won't defeat me!!” Bellroc cried with rage, dispelling the last of her clones.
“It's not meant to!” She yelled back before firing the arrow, sending a million volts through the wizard and causing them to spasm. And it was enough, for the spell holding Douxie up sputtered and died, dropping him to the floor. Zoe dived for his staggering form as Bellroc cried out again, pushing him out of the way of a blast of fire. Of course now she needed a plan to get them out of there...
Just as the fire god was approaching, already up from her attack and ready to end her life, a black portal formed beneath her and Douxie and they dropped away.
~*~*~*~
Zoe groaned as she was dropped onto the floor of Camelot, rolling onto her back. That had been...something. She really needed to practice that attack again, it took far too much out of her but at least now Douxie was safe. And Nari. She heard the rest of the guardians tumble in, shouts from their assembled allies rising and still she laid there, catching her breath.
“Zoe! Zoe, are you alright?!” She looked up at Douxie's voice, finding Nari's face above her looking at her with concern and they were needed to change back because this was just getting too weird. She watched him sag with relief, most likely due to her opening her eyes and he sighed, “You were nuclear, Love.”
“You better switch back before you kiss me, Casperan.” Was her only response.
Chuckling breathlessly, he nodded and she watched him hold out his hand for Nari to take, the goddess now crouching on her other side. A flash of magic and she was then being pulled into Douxie's lap, the wizard now back in his body. She let him nuzzle his face into her neck, still recovering from the adrenaline and almost overuse of her magic as they sat there, friends and allies all around.
“Thank you, Zoe.” Nari said softly, sitting primly in front of her, “You risked so much.”
“It's fine, Nari,” Zoe said, smiling at the forest child, “There was no way I was letting them keep your body and Douxie's mind.” Let alone risk the possibility of them forcing the two back into their proper bodies. Then they really would have been in trouble.
“So what do you do now?” She heard Claire ask because now they were back at square one. Keep Nari out of the grasp.
“I donno,” Zoe sighed, “But the important thing is the Order doesn't have Nari anymore.”
“That's not all they don't have..” The nature goddess smirked shyly before holding up the Genius Seals.
Zoe's eyes widen as cries went up around her, Douxie laughing in surprise, before she grinned wide and shark like. Oh, things were about to get interesting.
~*~*~*~*~*~
How the rest of the movie would play out from here I have no idea but there’s some choice Zouxie protecting each other/Nari/Archie so...there’s that. I hope you all enjoyed!
#ZoeAppreciationWeek#Zoe Week#Zoe#Douxie#Zouxie#Nari#ToA#Tales of Arcadia#Wizards#ROTT#Fanfiction#ROTT rewrite#Yeah Zoe and her arrows returned#heehee
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Um, can I have the sdr2 boys (if it's not too much) with an s/o that thinks they may be cheating, but they're actually trying to propose? Like they're busy all the time. Hopefully this isn't too much for you, I know you do dr1 a lot. You're one of my favorite imagine writers!
Awww Thank you so so much!!! I do DR1 a lot but I also love my DR2 and DRV3 babies so don't be afraid to request them. Okay, let's go to the imagine
I made Kazuichi, Fiyuhiko and Komaeda so so long so the rest are a little bit simple but I still find them cute, sorry for that
SDR2 BOYS PROPOSING TO THEIR S/O WHO THINKS THEY ARE CHEATING
Hajime Hinata
•He's been really distant lately
•Sneaking out whenever someone calls him
•Making up excuses to not assist to your dates...
•You don't want to think about it but you do
•It really seems like he is cheating
•And you are very sad now
•He tries to convince you to go with him to the beach
•On a date!
•You don't really want to go but you accept and try to talk to him about it
•"Hajime... is there something you are hiding me?"
•"What? No, not at all"
•You choose to trust him and forget about the issue
•Even if you are a little tense
•When nights falls you want to make him a little surprise and go tot he sand to write I love you on it
•And as you walk backwards you crash against something
•You turn around and it's your boyfriend
•In one knee and showing you a ring
•Oh, and you really though he was cheating on you
•He would never! He loves you enough to ask you to spend all your life with him!
•He gives you a long speech about all you two have been through
•And you can't really focus on it because you are too excited
•"S/O I love you, truly and forever, will you marry me?"
•You don't give him any answer, you just jump onto his arms and no words are needed
Nagito Komaeda
•He tried, he really tried so hard to make it cute
•But you know how his luck works
•The first thing he tried was to buy your favourite book and hide a ring on it
•As a reference for that love for books you two shared
•He took you out to a very fancy restaurant
•And you two had a great night
��And then he wanted to give you a gift, the book
•You opened it and no special reaction was given
•Of course you liked it but it wasn’t the reaction he expected
•Well, of course, you didn't know he was proposing
•Because there was no ring at all, it was lost
•He understood it pretty fast and tried another thing
•He tried to propose at the lake after a romantic day on there you two alone
•But a fish ate the ring
•And he tried to propose with fireworks
•But he ended up a little burned
• You started to doubt him, you knew he was hiding you something and all of those weird dates didn’t help, you liked him beiing extra romantic but he had been busy all week and at the end of every single date he looked quite... dissapointed?
• You know Komaeda would never cheat on you, he adores you
• But it looked like he was cheating definetly
•Luckily, before you went absolutely mad or he killed himself trying to propose, he gave up
•"Look, S/O, I've been trying, really but it looks like my luck isn't on our side for this" he gave you his usual tender smile that smile that made you feel calm whenever you saw it "I love you and all of the bad luck from this world is worth it if it means I can spend my life with you forever, I know it is selfish to want someone as great and hopeful as you all for me and even more if there is no ring-"
• Oh, god, he wasn’t cheating, he was trying to propose all along!
•You cut him with a passionate kiss before he starts degrading himself
•"I want to marry you, Komaeda, I want to marry you because you are the greatest person I've ever met and I don't care about your luck, the ring or whatever you think of yourself, I want to spend my life with you"
•And after a long long kiss Komaeda finally says something
•"Yeah, I am definetely the lucky student, that's how I managed to find someone like you"
Kazuichi Souda
• Kazuichi had been working on his repair shop all week
• And you hadn’t seen him a lot in the past month
• But what made you more anxious was the fact that he hadn’t told you about waat he was working in
• He would usually spend hours talking about his inventions
• And you adored to listen to him because he loked too happy while doing it
• But this time he was keeping it a secret
• And you were a little bothered
• You didn’t want to admit it because Kazuichi was the most caring and attent guy you had ever met
• And he loved you deeply
• But he was also easily distrated by other people
• You knew he would never cheat on you
• But sometimes you were specially sensitive about it if he had been delusioning too much lately
• And that along with the lack of communication issue made you paranoid
• But then Kazuichi called you and planned a date for the next day
• You had to go to his repair shop and so he would bring you somewhere
• You went to his repair shop the next day
• And the wall was projecting something
• He was trying to fix a projector all this time?
• You see then what is being projected
• It shows all of your relationship
• How you two met, how he felt in love with you, your first dates, your first problems, the moment when you two started to be really in love with each other, the tragedy, the killing game... absolutely everything
• And when you were on the verge of tears the projector started to sho things that hadn’t happened
• Yet
• Like you dressing for your edding, a big family house,, picures of you to on it
• Cookig, cuddling, playing videogames, talking about his machines... all with matching rings in both your hands
• Some kids maybe?
• And it ends with two elders you on that house, spending all your life together
• And when you turn around and finaly see him he is in one knee giving you a ring
• And you were thinking you had lost him... you had been such an idiot
• He doesn’t really propose because he just can’t talk
• And you can't either, being honest
• You finaly manage to spit out a “yes” between all of your tears
• And then he is hugging you
• With sucb strentgh yuo breath, he is just way too nervious
• Your poor boy is shaking and his heart razes at lighting speed
• And once he calms down he whispers lots of “thank you”s to your ear
• I mean, he is so thankful for having you on his life... expect a lot of spoiling for the next few weeks
Gundham Tanaka
• Let’s be honest you have always been a little jealous of Sonia
• They were always so... close
• And he had been spending his time in her bedroom more than usual
• Canceling your dates to go see her
• To the point when you started to think that his Devas were sleeping in Sonia’s bedroom
• And you were paranoid
• And that was too much
• You were about to lose it when the Devas came to your room
• Carrying a little box with them
• You took it in your hands and opened it
• To find a beautiful, pure black ring
• It was a rather scary ring, you could almost see hell inside it
• But that was your boyfriend style and you loved it!
• You knew what this meant
• He wasn’t cheating with Sonia, she was helping him and the Devas prepare all of this
• “S/O my dear” It was your boyfriend behind you “there is no one as powerful and valuable as you in this world, and having you by my side has made my power increase" He took your hand in his "would you be the spouse of Tanaka the forbidden?”
• “Yes, yes, yes, of course I will!”
• He kissed your hand before putting the ring in your finger
• “I swear I will make you the happiest person alive, my queen/king of darkness”
Fuyuhiko Kuuzuryu
•He asks Peko for help
•And after all your little talks Fuyuhiko knows what he is going to do
•Peko isn't either but she is your friend and can ask you something discreetly to find put what would make you happy
•He isn't the best with this things
•On the next summer festival, during the fireworks he will ask you to marry him
•You said you used to love the fireworks as a child and that Fuyuhiko was always handsome on his yukata
•He was fully prepared to make your week amazing and romantic and end it with the fireworks and the proposition
•Well, you said more things but those were the most important for him
•And you weren't suspecting a thing thanks to Peko
•But then things went wrong
•The Kuzuryuu clan enemies attacked
•And he didn't want you to know
•And a lot of yakuza's business had place during the festival
•And he couldn't attend it with you
•He was mysterious, angrier than usual and failed you on the festival
•And you realized then that Peko had been covering him all this time but he had been very distant
•And then those thoughts about him cheating appeared
•Nah, he would never cheat
•He was too sweet to do it, right?
•RIGHT?
•Peko accompanied you all night long
•It was to keep you save but you thought it was to make you forget about your boyfriend abandoning you on your favourite festival
•When the fireworks ended and you arrived at home all that you wanted to do was cry on your bed
•But then Fuyuhiko was there
•With a little box of fireworks on his hands
•"I'm late, I know, but those fucking morons- I... It took me longer than I thought to fix some problems but I'm here"
•"Problems? What kind of problems?"
•"Yakuza's problems"
•"You should have told me"
•"I didn't want to ruin your night and... I brought fireworks"
•You would like to be angry but you imagined Fuyuhiko with all of his bad temper and anger issues searching for a place to buy fireworks just to cheer you up and you couldn't help but to smile and thanks the world for sending you this wholesome boy
•You went to kiss your boyfriend and watched his special fireworks together when he pulled out a little box of pants
•He was not only worrying about not worrying you and making you enjoy the festival, he was also trying to propose to you
•He was definitely the best boyfriend you could have asked for
•And now he was going to be your husband!!!
Nekomaru Nidai
•He was untraceable all the time
•You offered him to do something and he was too busy
•He wasn't even going to the gym
•Something was wrong here
•And you suspected the worse
•Some days passed by and he kept being ilocalizable and you kept overthinking it all
•Until he asked you to go on a walk with him
•A mountain walk of course because it is Nidai, remember?
•And when you were about to ask him if he didn't love you anymore he disappeared
•And the next thing you saw was a plane on the sky writting with its fume
•It said 'S/O will you marry me'
•And behind you your boyfriend arrived in paracaidas
•With a ring in a box in his hands
•Man, he'd put as many passion onto this as he did usually
•And he almost make you lose your head!
•You run to him and hugged him
•And he spinned you around in his arms
•"I will take that as a yes" he said with his characteristically loud laugh
•That laugh that you loved so much
•And now you would hear it FOREVER!!!
Teruteru Hanamura
•He takes you out to the best restaurant on town
•Your house
•With him as the cook your dinner room will be the best restaurant you had ever been to
•He tries to decorate it as romantic as possible
•But being him it looks more like an acenary from an... adult movie
•You called him and no responses
•But still when you arrive home you love it!
•He has been so distant lately
•And with his constant comments to the people around you it was easy for you to think he would cheat on you
•But no, he was planning this surprise right?
•Yeah, sure it was that
•Your boyfriend's dishes were spectacular
•But your favourite plate was the dessert without any doubt
•And no, Teruteru wasn't the dessert even if he joked about it
•It was a beautiful pink an white cake
•And inside of it a ring
•"S/O, I had never met somebody like you, in you I found another family and I want to be with you forever, will you marry me?"
•"Of course yes babe!!" Is the only thing you say before kissing him
Byakuya Twogami (ultimate imposter)
•They didn't really know how to propose to you
•They had never had nobody that loved them for who they were
•They never had nobody who knew them at all
•Except you
•And they wanted to spend the rest of their life with you
•But how? They dressed up as joyero to ask the costumers about their ideas
•But then you saw them and another person (who were just they digused) and started to think he was cheating on you
•You know where dies he gets all inspiration from
•You eventhough it so much that you decided to ask them once they were at home
•"Oh, S/O, baby" they laughed "I wanted to make it special but it will only make it worse" he se puso sober una rodilla and you already knew what he was doing
•And you were so so happy
•"Yeees!" You answered before they could even ask the question
•You just jump over them tirandola al suelo and hugging then
•You were so so very happy and so were them
#danganronpa hc#danganronpa headcanons#danganronpa imagines#danganronpa#dr imagines#danganronpa x reader#dr x reader#sdr2#danganronpa scenarios#danganronpa sdr2#hajime hinata#nagito komaeda#kazuichi souda#sdr2 kazuichi#gundham tanaka#fuyuhiko kuzuryuu#nekomaru nidai#teruteru hanamura#danganronpa teruteru#byakuya twogami#ultimate imposter
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Rewind, Restart (Prequel)
Instead of a part 2 this time, y’all are getting a little look at pre-Part One. Here’s Billy Russo, a few days’ time since his escape, all tortured mind and finding himself in the middle of a dangerous situation.
Trigger warning: weaponry, mentions of death, fighting
Rating: PG-13/R
Word count: 2066
Hope you all enjoy! If you want to be added to or removed from my tag list, just shoot me an ask!
Taglist: @dylanobrusso @obscurilicious @the-blind-assassin-12 @something-tofightfor @ms-delos @madamrogers @lexxierave @agent-bossypants @yannii04 @gollyderek @carlaangel86 @bicevans @maydayfigment @thisisparadisemylove @ladyofnaps @malionnes @thesandbeneathmytoes
He was haunted with images of skulls and blood.
Every night, it was the same. Whenever Billy managed to fall asleep, to quiet the torment and torture that burned and branded his mind, even his restful moments were stained with terror-- terror that Billy couldn't make sense of. And every single night, his reaction was the same: a scream, guttural, from a place so deeply rooted inside him, he sounded foreign to his own ears. His eyes, black as coal, flew open, wide and wild, his gaze darting back and forth in the darkness. Damp with sweat, shivering in fear, he was deafened save for the sound of his own heartbeat pounding in his chest, yet the part that Billy despised more than the repetitive night terror itself was, night after night, the last realization that hit him. His face-- ugly, disfigured, permanently slashed with scars-- was streaked with tears.
There was a hammering in his head, a rush of adrenaline that had his chest heaving. Paranoid and delusional, his eyes searched the parameters of the room once more as Billy pushed himself up into a semi-upright position. His back was rod-straight, his ragged breathing the only sound in the otherwise stark silent room. Collapsing back onto his pillows propped against the headboard, Billy struggled to steady himself momentarily, inhaling deeply, jaw flexing. He ran a hand over his face, fingertips brushing across thick, numbing scar tissue. It was a reminder; a realization; a reawakening of anger and self-loathing, anguish and absence, abandonment of his severed mind-- any trace of an answer condemned.
A sneer of contempt contorted his mangled face. Dropping his head into his hands, Billy cried without abandon, his body shaking, ransacked with sobs. Howling with torment and wretched in his agony, he abandoned his one perfected apathetic demeanor. He was an animal, a monster, a beast-- a vulgar, raging, impetuous abomination. Billy had lost everything he'd built from nothing and his stomach churned in disgust. He had returned to his birthright, had fallen to his roots. Billy Russo was a grunt, a gutter rat. He was cracking apart, shattering into splinters.
*** *** *** . ***
It was as if Billy was on autopilot. He walked purposefully along the streets of Brooklyn, his surroundings becoming more familiar with each block. Hands stuffed in the pockets of a worn coat, head covered by the hoodie he wore underneath, Billy found himself standing outside of the closest place he could ever call "home"- and it was gone. The Ray of Light Group Home had been bulldozed down. Apartments stood where housing had been, concrete poured and hardened over a lot that had served as a baseball diamond for generations of orphaned children.
There was little that he remembered, and less than a handful of his few, scrambled memories were tangible, concrete. One of those had a big part of Billy’s life that he didn’t necessarily want to remember, yet clung to in an effort to have some sense of self-- no matter how demeaning and lonely. And it no longer existed. It was a surprise, but when he laid eyes on what had been constructed, memory of the complex came back to him in a rush. It was familiar; he’d known before that Ray of Light was gone. There was an importance to the apartments, a reason he remembered them instead of things that were paramount: the company Anvil that he’d founded, his knowledge that Frank’s family would be killed staying tucked away without so much as a warning… what had happened to his face. But he remembered this structure, and he stared across the street at the rows of windows built into the brick exterior.
Time was a feeble thing, and Billy had no estimate of how long he stood still, just staring at his surroundings, his breath puffing out in small white clouds of smoke. Shoes scuffing over pavement caught his attention, his eyes searching through the darkness. Across the street, just outside of the housing development, Billy found the source of the sound. A dull, dim glow from the closest streetlight did just enough to illuminate two figures. The shorter of the two turned to leave and was roughly grabbed by the arm. The street lamp glinted off the blade of a knife.
Agile and silent, Billy darted across the street. His hand wrapped around the barrel of the gun tucked into the waistband of his jeans.
"Hey!" he called out, coming to a stop no more than a foot from what seemed to be a confrontation. "Is there a problem here?"
He was unfazed by the knife gripped in the male's hand, but with one quick glance at you- the one person the blade was threatening- it was obvious the woman in question was affected. She was frozen in terror. A bitter laugh dripped from the mouth of the male as he sized up Billy. Contempt darkened his gaze as he looked back at the assailant, silently daring him to make a move.
"I don't know. Is there a problem, freak?"
Freak. In one quick motion, Billy drew his gun, cocking the hammer as he pointed it toward the knife-wielding asshole. Billy looked at him, wild-eyed and silently begging him to antagonize either himself or the woman, who had slowly crept behind him further. Seconds later, the aggressor withdrew his knife, jogging in the opposite direction.
Pocketing his gun, Billy turned to face her. "Please," she begged, voice shaking, "Don't hurt me."
He shook his head slightly, most of his face shadowed by his hoodie and with help from the angle of the streetlight. "Are you hurt?" He looked over the stranger with a quick sweep of his eyes, a quick check for any signs of blood or other signs of foul play.
She was visibly shaking, still struggling with the previous situation as well as with the knowledge that this man that appeared to care about her well-being had a gun and seemed quick to use it. Her tongue felt thick in her mouth, dry like sandpaper. Taking a few deep breaths, she tried to steady herself, yet felt as if she could crumple to the ground at any given moment.
"N..no," she managed finally. "No, he didn't have the time to hurt me. He asked me for the time, and I stopped to check and..." She trailed off, looking across the parking lot, toward the general direction Billy had come from. "And you appeared." Finally, she peered up at his face, seeing not much more than the dark shadow of scruff over his chin. "Thank you."
Standing still for a moment, Billy nodded in response. Instinct told him not to leave her alone just yet; that asshole could be hiding around the corner and neither of you would know the difference. He'd be much more keen to violence after being threatened and humiliated.
"You live nearby?" Before she could answer, he cleared his throat and quickly scanned the premises. "You should let me walk you the rest of the way," he suggested, glancing back down at her. Without a beat of consideration, she nodded her head vehemently. This stranger had just saved her from another stranger, one who had pulled a knife on her. Somehow, she had faith that his motives were not ill-intentioned.
He took a couple steps, slowing as she began to walk by his side. "I'm Billy," he volunteered, attempting to put her at ease. There hadn't been a shadow of recognition in her eyes at any point since Billy and his gun came to her rescue, and he was fully aware of that; it was the only reason he'd thought to offer his name. He'd seen the news. He knew he was a wanted man. He also knew that he looked nothing like the wanted man in the photo the media was using for identification.
"Hi, Billy," she said with a trace of a smile over her lips. "I'm Caroline... I live in this complex, so I won't be wasting too much more of your time."
Billy's jaw flexed. He had mixed feelings about his former group home; he recalled the deep-seated knowledge that his mother didn't want him, the fucked-up things he'd had to endure as a child in the system. But, Ray of Light had provided him with a place to stay, food on the table, childhood friends he'd made until he was out on his own. It was no coincidence that he didn’t keep in touch; in the end, it was always everyone for themselves. Yet, throughout the years-- save for his time in Kandahar and seemingly endless torturous bullshit months he'd spent in the Sacred Saints-- it was Ray of Light that he'd come to when he needed to find some kind of fucking solace--to breathe. Had he visited in the past three years? Nothing came to mind: it was just another small, insignificant memory that he couldn’t recall. There was a hole in his life, a hole of the last three years, that plagued him more than the myriad of terrible things that had certainly happened to him. At least with those, no matter how much they stung, he was aware.
"It's not a waste," Billy replied with a shrug, turning his attention to Caroline as the pair walked side-by-side. "I lived in this area as a kid. Couldn't sleep and ended up out here.”
Caroline nodded politely, her pace slowing as the two of you reached your building. "This is it," she said, pulling her keys from her bag. She hesitated for a moment, glancing down at her boot-clad feet before attempting to meet Billy's eyes. From what she could see, they were unnaturally dark. It was as if they were all pupil.
"Thank you, Billy." Her voice was earnest, and she made a conscious effort to not allow herself to be overcome by emotion. The night had been quite overwhelming. "I wish I could find a way to repay you, but there's nothing that matches the value of not being tossed in a dumpster down an otherwise unoccupied alleyway." She forced a smile that didn’t reach her eyes; she didn’t have the energy. The knowledge that she very well could have ended up in that very situation-- instead of safely at home-- sent a shiver down her spine.
Billy flashed a hint of a smile, gesturing toward the door. His feet stayed planted where he stood.
"Go ahead inside," he suggested. Seeing this woman disappear inside safely would give him the go-ahead to leave with a clear conscience. A sudden flash of anger sliced through him. If he ever ran into the asshole that had tried to hurt her, he'd kill him.
"Caroline?" Billy called out. She stopped and turned just after opening the door. "Take care of yourself." Eyes lingering on her until she disappeared inside, Billy turned and walked away from that apartment complex, one he was all too familiar with, as clear as crystal in his mostly foggy mind. He’d spent a nice amount of time there… time with you. He continued to walk through the gridlocked streets, remembering your apartment number, the layout of your place, your name and your laugh and the way you bit your lip to try to stifle your moans and how it never worked… the way he’d walked out of your life without so much as a word.
He needed to see you. Maybe you could help him fit some of those jigsaw puzzle pieces back together, jog his memory, sort things into the right order, a timeline that he could eventually use to think in a more linear fashion. Billy needed his life back, years of his life that he’d spent doing terrible things, unspeakable things he couldn’t imagine himself doing. He thought about the disfigurement of his face, upper lip curling in disgust as the mental image of his scars glared ugly in his mind. He knew he didn’t deserve to be allowed inside, much less any type of assistance in anything where you were concerned. But you were the only thing he had once, and for the only time since he could remember, you had wanted him too. Billy had grown to accept the fact that he himself was the one person he needed. But now, after all that had happened, he was a wanted man, a fugitive, a name, a fractured mind, and a hideous face. Now, Billy Russo needed someone other than himself, and that person was you.
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so please don't go- Part 1
It had been weeks since Buck was back at the department, and after suing it it hadn't been the same around.
All his friends were so distant with him he didn't feel welcomed. When they had launch he would feel left out even though they ate together. Hell, he even felt left out on missions. Bobby didn't let him go to a lot of them and he would be doing some other thing, like giving candy on Halloween's day.
What hurt the most? The way Eddie ignored him ever since he was back. Buck could see that Hen, Chim and even Bobby were slowly forgiving him, but Eddie didn't seem like he was going to. He hadn't spoken to him even if it was to tell him that he was still mad
...
He had had enough that day. They went to a mission where Bobby asked for Buck and Eddie to go together to see if there was anyone left behind on the building. Eddie told him he would rather go alone, and that's when it hit Buck their friendship was really screwed up.
He wasn't the kind of guy to drink. He sometimes drank a couple of beers, but nothing too excessive. But that day all he wanted to do was to drink the pain away.
So there he was, in a random bar he found on his way home waiting for the bartender to take his order. That's when he heard someone talking to him "rough day at work?". He turned to look who it was, and he saw a familiar face: Lena.
He remembered her. Well, more like he remembered how he felt when he saw her in the department taking his place. He remembered how jealous he was when he saw her hanging out and working with his team, how it looked that his team had already moved on from him.
But all that belonged in the past, so he started a conversation with her and discovered how nice she actually was.
They hung out a couple of times more before Lena asked him to join her and her team on the weekend. Everyone in the 136 was super nice and welcomed him easily. Buck found himself really enjoying their company and forgetting about his problems in the 118.
Lena told him to meet her at the 136 station and that they would go to the tavern from there. When Buck got there he met the captain.
"Evan Buckley, right?" Ronnie shook his hand
"Yes sir, but people call me Buck"
"Well Buck, I have to tell you that I've seen you working and you impressed me. Would you consider joining the 136?" - Ronnie knew he already had a good relationship with the members on the 136. Not to mention that Lena told him that Buck was having problems with the 118.
Buck blinked trying fo process the information.
It was true that he had a great relationship with all the members in the 136, but he didn't even think about what it would be to work with them,
Ronnie saw the shock on Buck's face "Hey, you don't have to answer now. Take your time to think about it"
"Thanks" Buck said in almost a whisper, heading out the department
He spent two whole days thinking about the offer. He was lying on the bed looking at the ceiling with his hands under his head. Was he really going to do it? Left his team and join the 136? Truth to be told the 118 felt less like home every day that passed.
...
He woke up ready to take that step, he was nervous but it would be the best for everyone. When he arrived at the station everyone was already there except Eddie. He sighed. Maybe it was better that way.
Chim, Hen and Bobby were having breakfast. Buck approached them feeling his heart beat faster than usual. He sighed before speaking "Captain Nash". Bobby looked at him with an eyebrow arched, Buck never ever called him like that "I just wanted to let you know guys that I will be transferring to the 136 in a couple of days.
"What? Why?" Bobby frowned "Kid, I know it's not the same as before but you don't have to..."
"No uh...it's not that. Well, it is, but that's not the only reason" he looked at all three of them "I know our relationship is not the same and that you have difficulties to trust me again, and I understand. I also know you're trying, and I know eventually we're going to be the same as always. But..."
"Eddie..." Hen cut him
"Yeah" Buck sighed, looking at her "That's the major reason I'm transferring. While you guys are trying to trust me again, he won't even speak at me and hell, it hurts a lot." He took a deep breath " I don't want anyone to be in danger because of us. What if.... what if we go on a call and something bad happens because Eddie and I aren't able to work as a team?"
"Buck"
"No Bobby, okay? I'm transferring"
He waited looking at them. Was he supposed to wait until they said something? Did he have to just walk off?
Hen walked towards him and opened her arms "Just so you know Buckaroo, it's going to be difficult to get ridñ of me" she hugged him and Buck laughed
"Same here" he turned to look at Chim "I'm dating your sister, so you really don't have a choice" all of them laughed
Before he headed back down the stairs Bobby approached him "I know it's still not the same as before, but if you need anything..."
"I know" he said
That didn't go that bad he thought for himself once he was in the locker room, a little smile on his face. It faded off fast when he heard the locker room door being slammed. He turned around and in seconds he had Eddie pushing him into the wall.
"What the fuck Eddie?!"
"Were you going to tell me?" Buck could see he was angry
"Tell you what"
"That you're transferring to the 136" Oh, so that's what this was about. He twisted his head before answering
"Why would I?" He saw the anger in Eddie's eyes "I mean, I didn't think you would even care that I was leaving" his expression changed into one of confusion "You haven't spoken to me in almost a month. I'm doing the right thing".
"How is that the right thing?" Eddie's grip softened
"Look at us" Buck pointed between the two of them "This is the first time we have talked in a month. We aren't a team anymore, you and me"
To say that those words hurt Eddie was falling short. They burned in his chest.
Buck moved from the wall and went back to his locker, now facing Eddie with his back
Eddie looked down, it was all his fault. It was because of him that Buck was transferring. He didn't need anyone to tell him, he already knew. If he hadn't been such a jerk maybe things would be different.
Was he angry when Buck sued the department? Heck yeah. He was so angry he almost punched him when they met at the grocery store. He was angry at Buck for all the lawsuit thing, he was angry because he couldn't even speak to him, he was mad because Christopher kept asking about the younger one and Eddie couldn't tell him what happened. So yeah, he was mad at him. But he also was angry at himself. Why was he so mad at Buck when he couldn't even reach him? Why of all things the one that bothered him the most was that there were no more nights where Buck, Chris and him were having dinner and playing video games?
He couldn't understand it at first. It felt normal to be angry at his best friend, because what he did was to be angry at. But there was something more he couldn't quite get at first. He felt disappointed at one point, disappointed that Buck was no longer in their lives. It felt almost like- like when Shannon left. Eddie had that feeling of abandonment, but only that this time it was stronger than that. And that's when something clicked on his mind.
He loved him.
He loved Buck.
And there's where everything turned upside down for him. He wasn't really surprised about the fact that he was in love with a man, but being in love with his best friend? Well, that was something else. That changed everything.
Before he could even notice he had thrown a punch at the locker. Buck heard a loud noise and turned around to see Eddie bleeding. He rushed over to him.
"Eddie! Are you okay?"
Eddie raised his head and looked at Buck, who was looking at his hand. He didn't even notice he had punched the locker, and now he was bleeding.
"I..."
"It's okay" Buck lead him to sit on the bench "Let me just get the first aid kit"
Eddie sat there waiting for Buck to come back, still in shock for what just happened.
When Buck returned he kneeled down and took Eddie's hand to clean the blood. He could notice Eddie staring at him, but he was too focused on treating the injury.
Eddie felt like crying. After everything he had done Buck was still there, taking care of him without even have to ask for it. His eyes were focused on his hand being held by the younger man. It just felt so nice, so natural, like they were meant to hold each other's hands. And that was just another sign of how deeply he was in love with Buck, of how much he wanted him in his life.
Eddie actually forgave Buck the first time he apologized, but he couldn't let him know it. After realizing his feelings for his best friend he thought the best thing to do was to stay away from him. That way he would avoid Buck discovering his feelings and things getting awkward between the two of them. But having to stay away from him was killing Eddie. It killed him every time Buck tried to apologize and he had to act as if he didn't hear him, it killed him seeing his best friend walking around the station with his head down like an abandoned puppy. Buck was always the one to cheer up the party and knowing he was one of the reasons the younger one looked so sad killed him.
Buck was almost finished covering his hand with a bandage when Eddie whispered
"Don't go"
"What?" Buck left what he was doing and looked Eddie in the eye with a confused look.
"To the 136" it was still so low Buck almost didn't hear him.
"Eddie..."
"Please, just- just give me a couple of days to figure my shit out" his voice sounded shaky
"Okay" Buck nodded. He would agree to stay a million times if Eddie was the one asking.
#buck and eddie#buck buckley#buddie#buck&eddie#evan buckley#buddie fic#911 fic#eddie diaz#sopleasedontgo
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What if one of the boys got amnesia? -Bird anon
oh my gosh i’ve actually thought about amnesiac Marvin a lot lol i think i started a fic once about Jameson like getting into his dreams and trying to make him remember. but yes that’s a really interesting idea!! like imagine Jackie slams his head one night while he’s out on patrol and when he wakes up he’s just - no memory. nothing. doesn’t know his own name. and he’s standing in this abandoned warehouse wondering what the hell is going on, so concussed he can barely stand up straight, desperately trying to remember anything.
he’d probably get his phone out and call whoever he texted last, someone call JJ. they pick up but there’s nothing but silence on the other end and he just starts crying so hard JJ knows something is wrong and hurries off to find him and help. it would throw their family into complete disarray - Jackie is the leader, and in some ways the strongest of all of them, and now he just doesn’t remember?? any of them?? anything?? doesn’t even know who Anti is???? it’s stressful to Jackie. he knows they expect something from him, but doesn’t even remember the person they want him to be.
Marvin would be dangerous without his memory, freaked the hell out and seeing enemies on every side. someone must have done this to him, right? his emotions run wild and he’s forgotten how to control his magic - he’s screaming and casting without meaning to, and then a stranger in a red hood is grabbing him to pin him down, and a doctor in a mask shoves a needle into his neck, and then he’s drifting. it would take him days to come to trust them again and everyone, Marv included, would be distraught. he’s quite proud and he’d be so humiliated by having lost everything he used to know and having to rely on everyone around him to tell him everything. but he grows very fond of Chase and JJ very quickly, which helps.
Henrik I can imagine losing his memory to protect himself from trauma, and it just leaves him so fucking numb. maybe he’s even dissociated enough to lose track of what’s going on for a while before, but then one night he’s just out with Chase or something and gets triggered and his exhausted brain just goes “nope” and blocks everything out. Chase looks over and suddenly Henrik doesn’t know him anymore - he’s just sitting there staring at him, his face white, terrified but unable to even respond properly. Chase drags him home, trying to be very very gentle with him, reassuring him his memories will come back soon - they have to, don’t they? everything Henrik knows and loves can’t just be wiped away, right? - but they just... don’t. he doesn’t know him.
Meanwhile Chase I think we just go missing for a few days and the others would be losing it with worry. did Anti kidnap him? or someone else, thinking he was Jack? or maybe he just couldn’t keep going anymore and he’s already gone? and then THANK GOD after days of patrolling for him Jackie finds him just wandering the streets, phone and wallet missing, beat to shit and exhausted and too terrified to go to the hospital. he bursts into tears as soon as he sees Jackie because he thinks he’s his twin and he lets him bring him home and wrap him up in a blanket and take care of him for a while. but Chase is just in hysterics and so low on dopamine he’s sleeping like fifteen hours a day. but Marvin’s got a good idea!! you know what’s most likely to make him remember in all the world? they call Stacy up and fifteen minutes later Chase is staring at these two little kids he doesn’t even recognize. And Izzy crawls up on his chest - he’s too exhausted to even sit up, but he reaches out to hold her steady - and she lies down to snuggle with him and whispers “I missed you, Daddy,” but he doesn’t even know who she is and he feels so much guilt he can’t even look at them and he locks himself in the bathroom for the rest of the day, throwing up and trying to find medicine to take too much of. he would not handle it well, but his brothers would all spoil him rotten, for what it’s worth.
Jamie, meanwhile, Jamie would switch between being absolutely ferocious and completely “please fucking protect me” terrified. he has spent his whole life being manipulated and he kind of wants to bite anyone who tries to touch him, but he can TELL that something is missing, that he should remember somebody, that there was somebody friendly and warm nearby and he wants them back but there is also someone dangerous and he knows it. so one day he threatens to melon-scoop Chase’s eyes off and goes sprinting off to hide with Marvin, but then the next day he’s sure Marvin’s going to kill him and he won’t let go of Jackie’s hand. I think he would respond really well to Jack himself - Jameson really likes his energy cause Jack isn’t as freaked out by this as the others (he’s walked all of them through waking up with no memory, he can do this too and he’s very calm even when Jameson’s angry) so maybe he goes to live with Jack for a while and the space really helps him. eventually Jackie starts taking him out to get in fights and it helps Jameson’s brain assign good guys and bad guys more easily, so he gets the chance to trust the others again.
Here, I found a snippet from that old wip about amnesiac Marvin! never going to finish it so you can check it out if you want
Blue dreams in halves and segments and slivers, looking at the sun through his fingers, scared to get burned.
He is magic more than mortal and he remembers it in his sleep, when joy surrounds him as an aurora the earth, and he sees the others before him, haloed in gold. He doesn't remember their names anymore, but still he knows them, knows their eyes, knows the joy in their faces. The word “family” is imprinted deep, deep on his heart, though it has been deeply scared over.
His master saw to that.
Still, in dreams in halves and segments and slivers, slivers, slivers of the man he used to be, he sees them.
There are four of them who are both familiar and unfamiliar, but only the three of them sit around him. Sometimes he cannot make out their faces, but there are flashes – the scarred smile of the head of the table, a hood drawn over his shadowed eyes, the worn, steady fingers of a man with icy blue eyes but warmth in the curve of his mouth, the dappling of freckles across the face and shoulders of the younger one, perhaps older than Silver, but not by much. He is the one who speaks, rapid and loud, a smile on his mouth most days, though sometimes the exhaustion that sits on his body is so heavy he seems to be an old man.
“One year older,” he says tonight. “Blow out the candles, dude!”
Blue blinks and adjusts in his seat, looking down to find a cake set in front of him, decorated with a single candle, flickering like a wave on its tiny wick.
He blows out the candles.
“What did you wish for?” asks the younger man.
“Oh,” says Blue. “I forgot to wish.”
Across from him, the other head of the table has slumped over onto the table. Tears run down onto the wood.
“I can't find him!” he cries. “I can't find him! Where has my brother gone?”
“Well, that was stupid,” laughs the younger man, still looking at Blue. He doesn't notice the weeping at his side. “Come on, you got to have some wish. It's your birthday – ”
He tries to say a name, but the word comes out distorted, as though it were spoken underwater, and Blue can't make it out.
Doctor blinks his cold blue eyes, adjusting his glasses and staring too intensely at Blue, who squirms under his gaze. He knows, somehow, that he's a healer, but there is very little else he remembers about him. Sometimes he catches a whiff of coffee off his clothes or looks over to see terror in his face or, at the sight of him, feels his chest flood with affection, but he does not know his name or what he means.
He just misses him.
You are not allowed to miss them, you are not allowed to think of them, look me in the eyes and listen, no one is looking for either of you!
“I hate these dreams,” he says, as the loud one continues to speak and the hooded one continues to cry and the doctor continues to look at him. “I always forget everything as soon as I wake up anyway.”
He gets to his feet and his vision flickers, revealing halves and segments and slivers: the flowers outside the house that he somehow knows are forget-me-nots, the bed upstairs that he somehow knows has constellation-patterned covers and sheets, a bracelet on the wrist of the boy in the hood that he somehow knows he gave him –
He isn't allowed to think about this. He isn't allowed to remember, no matter how much he wants to. He has to wake up. Steeling himself, he recognizes that the dream is a dream and he tries to wake himself up, distancing himself from the figures at the table around him as he always does, drifting back towards the darkness –
Silver grabs his shoulders. Blue screams.
Silver is the apparition that appears only at the very edges of awakeness, where the monster does not wander. Silver is always black and white, always clutching a clock in his hand, but the only thing Blue can ever see of his face are those two grey eyes, glowing with power, alive with determination.
Releasing his shoulders, Silver strikes three fingers against the palm of his other hand and touches his thumb and –
And Blue wakes up.
Panting.
Clutching at his heart with one hand.
At his hair, chopped short, with the other.
“Oh,” he whispers to himself, trying not to cry.
Banish the memories. Forget them. Stop trying to remember. There's no one looking for you anyway.
“Anti!” he calls, dragging himself to his feet. “I had another dream!”
His brother's voice drifts from the other room. “Of the strangers holding you captive?”
“Yes, please make it go away!”
The monster appears before him, mostly human today, though not quite. Its hands are wrong and it is losing a great deal of blood, enough that a mortal thing would be dead, or at least bothered.
“Don't worry,” says Anti, falling to its knees – knees, are those knees? Why are there so many joints? – beside him. “I'll make it all go away. Of course I will. I'll make sure the bad men never find you, little one.”
He kisses Blue gently on the mouth and drags him back under his spell, resisting the urge to murder the little nuisance before he gets out of hand.
No, he needs Marvin for a minute longer. Just a little while longer. Just a little while longer.
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i used to be broken. i used to be shards of iron and ice,
a whirlwind of broken glass, until I learned to be more.
DILAN DENIZ? No, that’s actually AMELIA BONES from the MARAUDERS ERA. You know, the child of ENDER BONES and IRMAK BONES NÉÉ KUNDAKÇI ? Only 25 years old, this SLYTHERIN alumni works as a LEGAL ADVISOR AT THE WIZENGAMOT and is sided with THE ORDER OF THE PHOENIX. SHE identifies as A CIS WOMAN and is a PUREBLOOD who is known to be SECRETIVE, CYNICAL and SELF-NEGLECTFUL but also JUST, AMBITIOUS and LEVELHEADED.
LINKS – pinboard, stats.
CHARACTER PARALLELS – laurel castillo (htgawm), peggy carter (mcu), spencer hastings (pll), rebecca bunch (crazy ex-girlfriend), raquel murillo (la casa de papel)
AESTHETIC – a blood red lipstick mark on a drained cup of coffee, knuckles bruised from collapsing against a wall, smoking through the crack of your window in the middle of the night, striped blouses, chipped black nailpolish, downing vodka without wincing, wiping sweat off your eyebrow while laughing, sinking down in the shower and not getting up for half an hour, eyeliner sharp enough to kill a man, a longing for something without quite knowing what it is, a sense for justice that burns you up (and hopefully takes the whole world with it one day), something weighing down on your shoulder at all times, the inability to sleep if the world is too quiet
HEADS UP – there are some triggers in this intro (specifically: burn out, anxiety, alcohol, smoking, self destructiveness, death and grief). all are trigger warned in front of the bulletpoints theyre mentioned in!
backstory ( 1955 - 1973 )
amelia bones grows up happy. with two older brothers & a set of loving parents, there was such room to grow. her parents are openminded and supportive and allow her fire and mind to expand and grow. she grows up valuing family and empathy and acceptance and fairness, and will always fall back on these values.
a bit of background on her parents:
her father comes from the bones family, which has been a prominent magical family in eurasia for centuries (mostly for their influence in politics & international cooperation, and their progressiveness). after the global wizarding war, her father’s grandfather and his wife migrated to england after he was offered a position at the ministry, which he got offered due to his efforts during the war. word of their (good & wonderful!) reputation then spread in the UK, too, and they soon became a respected pureblood family (not that they cared about blood status, not at all, and i think plenty of purebloods didn’t care much for the bones --- too progressive and idealistic and proactive).
amelia’s father followed in his own father’s footsteps and joined the department of international cooperation, through which he met irmak, a turkish witch who worked for an international ngo advocating for worldwide women’s rights. they started as coworkers, and soon fell for one another and soon marriage followed, and then their three kids
amelia loves her family. they’re her entire world.
she was the last of her siblings to go to hogwarts, which just made her all the more excited, i think. amelia envied her brothers for getting to go before her, though, very much so. either way ---- amelia was a hatstall, stuck between hufflepuff and slytherin, stuck between her deep sense of justice and her cunning ambition. in the end, she was sorted in slytherin, but she would have thrived in either house, really.
she walked towards that green-and-silver table with such pride in her face and back, proving that she’d fit right in
i think she was sorted in slytherin in the end as her ambition allows her to do more with her sense of justice. it’s the road towards her goals, her goals being reaching justice and righteousness and her ideals.
anxiety / panic attacks / alcohol & smoking / self destructiveness / burn out tw || amelia put immense pressure on herself all through hogwarts, not only wanting the best grades, but also wanting to be a helpful and put together individual. in her fourth year, she burns herself out --- there’s no energy left in her body. she started having more panic attacks, her anxiety growing with the pile of assignments she was unable to finish, and amelia -- for a while -- lost sight of herself, unsure how she was ever able to be so productive, to do so much.
amelia starts smoking. she starts drinking. she yells at the whomping willow. she finds release in anything that will quiet her brain and she loses control, for a while --- detentions grow, as do her absences in class, and her grades drop. after a few months, she steps to slughorn, telling him that she’s not okay, that she needs help. (i imagine he was a bit startled, not by the news (as there had probably been reports of the change in amelia’s behaviour), but by the way she approached him, so maturely.)
admitting she wasn’t okay was the main step she needed and soon amelia was learning where her weaknesses lied, and how she could cope with stress, and how she should dose her work so she wouldnt end up this way again. and slowly but surely, amelia rebuilt her good grades, and prepared herself for those looming OWLs. end of tws
her last three years at hogwarts are spent studying, hard. amelia also became prefect & eventually head girl ( this is not definitive! just. putting it down in case ), and spent the rest of her time preparing for a career at the ministry --- that was where her ambition lied, after all. especially with the turmoil and unrest growing in the wizarding world, amelia’s sense for justice GREW, and she wanted to do something about it badly: the ministry was a flawed system, that much she knew, but she also knew that there were good people there (her dad, her grandfather, etc.) and that there was always room for change and growth
amelia cares SO MUCH about justice, it’s just something she’s always done. she has a very deep sense of justice herself, is very just in judging and approaching people. she’s also open about this & will call you out on her shit ( i imagine she did a fair amount of this in the slytherin common room ) but in a calm and collected way
ended up graduating with seven NEWTs, all with either E’s or O’s. we stan an overachieving icon.
post graduation ( 1973 - 1980 )
anxiety tw | amelia started working as an administrative assistant at the wizengamot, interning under a member at the same time, slowly climbing the ranks and preparing for a successful career. it’s stressful, and sometimes anxiety inducing, but amelia sticks to her coping mechanisms that she’s developed over the years (both good and bad) and mostly thrives. end of tw
(parental) death, murder, grief tw | when she’s twenty, her parents are murdered. at that point, amelia had still been living at home, but she’d been at work when it all happened --- returning to a dark mark above the place she grew up in. her parents had been murdered for not meeting the vision of what purebloods were supposed to be, another pair of victims of a cruel war ( and the start of the bones’ downfall :( )
self destructiveness tw | amelia fell back in old patterns for a while, forgetting to take care of herself, raging against a world that wouldn’t listen. she took the time she had gotten off work to grief and drowned herself in distractions and things that only seemed to make things worse, in the long run end of tw
and then she returned to work and was done. done, with feeling like she’d drown in her grief, and so she turned cold. it wasn’t hard -- amelia had always been quite levelheaded, able to look at situations with emotional distance and objectivity, and now she did the same with her life. she joined the order as well, even though she had previously doubted them ( she thought them unorganised, chaotic rebels, and she had to eat her words, partly, after she joined ). amelia grew bitter and secretive and cynical, but she worked harder than she had ever before, wanting to see a better world as soon as possible --- for her brothers and their families, for all the families still whole, for fucking everyone, to be honest.
death of children tw | re: her brothers and their families, she thinks that theyre both stupid for having kids in this time. look at what happens every day! look at what happened to their parents! why would you risk orphaning your children?!
not that she voices those opinions. they’re dark and mean and she swallows them and keeps them locked up.
of course, she was kind of right. edgar and his kids did die. lmao. when she found out, though, she didn’t think “told you so”, she just hated herself a bit more. end of all tws
right now, amelia is a legal advisor at the wizengamot, assisting with cases, working on arguments and compiling evidence, always bristling at how useless aurors are at paperwork. she hates the ministry, partly, but wants to fix it from within. her dream is to get a seat at the wizengamot, and eventually grow further, too. her ambitions run deep, as does her idealism, and together those will get her far.
she’s also more closed off than she was before. i think that amelia was a lot warmer as a teen, and definitely a lot more spontaneous. now, though, she is focused deeply on the tasks at hand and cynical, scared of loving more people than she already does. there’s more to lose when you have more people you love, and all that stuff --- but still, amelia is kind and approachable, but there’s always a hint of distance and coolness.
does Not take good care of herself. amelia sleeps too little, drinks too much coffee, does not eat enough fruits & veggies and constantly abandons her needs when there’s other, more important things. and there are always more important things ( especially considering she seeks for them )
death & murder tw | the timestamp kind of sent amelia into a state of despair, for a hot second. learning that her brother and his family were killed in the war chilled her to her bones. learning that she was murdered in the far but near future confused her, and scared her. she took a moment to recenter herself, to take in all this new information, and then got to work. i imagine that amelia just stormed into the ministry/the dmle and started working to fix this, using her future position as an argument to have a proper role in the developments. ( merlin knows that the ministry can use a good set of brains, after all, and she has a more than good set. ) she also stuck with the order, of course.
amelia also took it upon herself to research a LOT about the future fates of people she suspected of death eater activity, to know who to trust and who not to. read a lot of archived newspapers and such over the past month. too many. end of tw
personality & details
career woman. fuck the glass ceiling, she’ll break it with her high heels and kiss the shards with her red lipstick and grin while doing it. amelia is successful and will be even more successful and nothing but death can stop her from reaching her goals
in the end, that’s why she was killed --- bc she was unstoppable. if it wasnt for voldemort, she WOULD HAVE become minister for magic, mark my words
caffeine dependent as fuck
kickboxes to let go off some steam and cropped up Stress. she has been doing it ever since her the summer after her fourth year and has a mean right hook and can break your nose if she wants to, but chooses not to. (would rather fight you with words, anyway.)
a levelheaded, realistic queen.
workaholic, pls tell her to take a break!!!!
she has a deerhound doggo called jimmy and she loves him SO MUCH. dogs are Everything to amelia. she loves dogs so much.
“men ain’t shit” -- amelia bones, thrice a day, at least
listen she’s just a Queen, that’s all ive got
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Of novelists and stray dogs - Chapter five
After the fire ...
Waking up is a process.
As Atsushi’s eyelids started fluttering, the colours or rather the absence of them became clearer and clearer. He remembered the last time he had been in this kind of context.
It had taken place a bit before he had left the orphanage.
This man he had-
Atsushi pushed away those memories. He could fight fire any day (but if it could avoid happening, it would be appreciated) but the past was too powerful for him. Actually, lots of things were but none of them were as terrible as his former life.
He breathed and focused on his environment. He was in an hospital’s room but he already knew that. Now that the question ‘where’ had been answered, he needed to find out the ‘why’.
The door opened and a young nurse entered.
“O, you are awake.” He merely noticed. “I’m going to get some stuff and we’ll talk, alright?”
“Of course.”
The man smiled and left.
Atsushi ran a hand through his hair. It was shorter and messier. As if he had taken a bomb in his face.
The fire.
Vivid imageries of hell came back to his mind. How he had tried to help the antique dealer. How the culprit had looked far more like a victim than any criminal had the right to.
He hadn’t healed or rather he had stopped healing. His body didn’t ache anymore but a lingering feeling still haunted every inch of his being. If his ability hadn’t failed him, no one would have ever discovered how badly he had been injured.
However, the past could not be changed and here he was : a room which reeked of antiseptic and pain. This wasn’t supposed to happen.
Kunikida-senpai is going to kill me, Atsushi realized with horror.
Dazai moved forward as his opponent almost managed to hit him in the chest. He jumped and rose his foot in order to kick him in the face. Sounds everywhere : his enemy irregular breathing, his body’s quick moves and the background music.
His state was satisfactory. He could last a few more minutes. He was finally going to be able to defeat him after a hours of work. Giving up wasn’t an option. Thousands of lives were at stake. He would-
Someone snatched away his console.
“For fuck sake, mackerel, we are in a bloody hospital ! Stop disturbing everyone with your annoying game or at least put the volume down !” Chuuya screamed.
Behind them, a woman was sending them a death glare. Not really an issue, Dazai had guessed a long time ago she didn’t really have a health problem. Only a bit too much of stress.
“But I’m bored, hatrack.”
“Then leave.”
“And abandon Odasaku? Not happening.”
The former assassin was pacing in the room, his eyes locked on the ground.
Well, at least now I can be sure he has adopted Atsushi-kun.
All the informations about the woman responsible of the fire had been sent to Mori. The man hadn’t answered yet but Dazai wasn’t a fool. Teams most certainly had already received strategies so they knew how to deal with her.
A good thing he wasn’t needed right now. He would have hated to sit and talk about the best way to ‘take care’ of her.
However, it didn’t make him feel better. New problems had appeared. The text he had received was carved in his mind.
The colonel is dead. I expect you to take care of everything, Dazai-kun. Everything required for your success will be furnished.
A deeply unpleasant period was about to start. He might as well relax as long as he could, the last platform he had before he drowned in a sea of manipulation and death.
A bottle of soda was given to him. A part of Oda’s attention would always belong to Dazai no matter what happened.
“Thank you.” He whispered as softly as the fall of a leaf. He didn’t want Chuuya to hear him. (Not that it was complicated. He was screaming too much to notice them)
“You can do it.” Oda said at the same volume.
An executive had been killed. No one knew who had done it. They were at the verge of one of the biggest conflict Yokohama had ever know. How was a sixteen years old supposed to stop it?
I’ll find a way. At the end, things are always easier than we imagine.
There was too much to lose for him to fail.
A nurse came to inform them about Atsushi’s state a few minutes after.
“There is really nothing to worry about. He hasn’t been seriously injured apart from a second-degree burn on his calf. It won’t leave any scar. His blood sugar level is a bit low but sleep and a good meal will solve everything. I’ve already explained everything to his grandfather so it should be alright.”
“I see, thank you very much.” Oda sighed.
Grandfather? He told us he had no one. Was he lying? Dazai wondered. No, he wasn’t. This kid doesn’t know how to, so, who is this person?
Atsushi was brought to the parking by a smiling nurse. She had insisted on carrying him on a wheelchair which he hadn’t understood. Despite his protests, she hadn’t bent and here he was.
He hadn’t even been able to speak with Oda, Chuuya and Dazai. Wonderful.
They arrived in front of a grey Ford so old it was a miracle it was still working. In front of it, an old man stood perfectly straight, supported by an ancient wooden cane.
“Haven’t I asked you not to get in trouble?” He chuckled with fondness.
“Sensei ! Good evening ! I’m so sorry I had to disturb you while you were working.”
“Nonsense ! You needed help and as your guardian it is my duty to be here. Than you, young lady, I’ll take care of him from now on.”
“Thank you,sir.”
“Does everything correspond to what you wanted? There was quite a bit of paperwork.”
“You filled everything which needed to be filled. It would be better if Nakajima-kun could come back for a check-up but it is not an obligation.”
“I see. Thank you once again.” Sensei repeated as he helped Atsushi to sit in the passenger front seat.
“It was my pleasure.”
They saw her enter the hospital as the older man started the car.
Night had almost totally fallen.
“The man will take a bit of time to heal but he should be perfectly fine as long as he rests. That’s quite a brave thing you did.” Sensei commented.
“I-”
“Not very careful but-”
“Sensei-”
“A part of your charm is your absolute incapacity to value your own well-being.”
“ Natsume-sensei- ”
A warm hand ruffled his hair for sole answer.
“I’m only teasing you, don’t worry. I know what kind of person you are, Atsushi, but only focusing on others is not good for you. You’re allowed to be selfish.”
“I already am. Sometimes.”
Natsume sighed but didn’t try to argue. Anyway, he had others matter to talk about.
“I saw the three men who had brought you here. They are… interesting choices of company.”
“You know them.” Atsushi translated.
“I do. One of them personally and I often hear rumors about the two others. So I’ll only ask one question : are you sure of what you are doing?”
“I am. At least, I think so. Oda-san is a good person and Dazai-san is… Dazai-san. I don’t know how to describe him, really.”
“And Nakahara-kun?”
He knows his name.
Each time he asked Natsume what he did in his free time, the man only talked about enjoying his retirement. It wasn’t technically a lie if you considered stalking - sorry - surveying everything in the city a hobby.
He probably knew more things about Yokohama than anyone.
Atsushi thought about his question and said very carefully.
“The tiger likes him.”
“Really? Interesting.”
There was no other way to explain the situation. When the feline had first seen Chuuya, a contented purr had almost escaped him. Happiness had overcome the part of his mind he shared with the tiger.
His ability was glad to see him again . Atsushi didn’t want to understand the implications of this emotion.
“We’re going to get some of your belongings and then I’ll bring you to Kunikida’s. They agreed to take care of you for a week.”
Is that how I’m going to die?
“I’m healed.”
“Not all wounds are physical, my boy. Also, the young man has insisted, he really wanted to have a discussion with you.” Natsume explained. A small smile was starting to form on his face.
“You find it funny.” Atsushi complained.
“I don’t see what you are talking about.” The man almost tittered.
To : Oda-san
I’m sorry I wasn’t able to say goodbye. Thank you very much for bringing me to the hospital.
Could you give me Nakahara-san and Dazai-san’s number so I can also apologize to them, please?
To : Nakajima Atsushi
Don’t worry it’s alright. Focus on getting better that’s all which matters. Nakahara already asked me to transmit you his number so I can but I’ll have to ask Dazai if he doesn’t mind.
[contact information]
To : Oda-san
I see. Thank you very much !
To : Nakajima Atsushi
Don’t mention it. It’s my pleasure. Focus on healing.
To : Oda-san
I will. Thank you once again.
To : Nakahara-san
Hello Nakahara-san,
Oda gave me your number. Sorry for not seeing you before leaving !
To : Atsushi Nakajima (aka Tsukishiro-sensei !!!)
Hello kid,
jsut call me Chuuya, everyone does. That’s alright but don’t do it again ! Seriously, it was just reckless !
If you need anything don’t hesitate to ask.
Have a nice day.
To : Chuuya-san
Have a nice day as well. Thank you !
As they walked back toward Mori’s office, Chuuya finally decided to speak up.
“Atsushi has an ability, right?”
“I’m surprised Chuuya managed to figure it out.”
“He was perfectly fine after what he did. It was weird.”
“Probably just a boring, weak, healing ability.”
“You expected something else, didn’t you?”
“You see how Atsushi-kun is, do you really expect him to have an astounding power?”
“You’re avoiding the question, mackerel.”
Dazai hummed softly. From what they had seen at the orphanage, he had thought his ability would be something strong, probably stronger than Akutagawa’s.
The fire should have awoken his hidden capacity, he should have seen what it was, but nothing… Such a disappointment.
“And what are you going to do about it?” Dazai mused.
“Well, he could hardly be useful.”
“Someone able to heal? Not useful? Having such a limited imagination must be nice.”
“Are you going to talk about him to Mori?” Chuuya growled.
“Are you?”
Silence.
“It could be considered a betrayal, you know? Not talking about him to the boss.” Dazai continued.
“He’s a kid.”
“So are some of our members.” Dazai smirked.
“He has the choice to remain out of it.”
“Do you think it matters? The Port Mafia hardly cares about this kind of thing.” There was amusement in his voice.
“So you’re going to tell the boss, then.” Chuuya snarled.
“Of course not ! Atsushi-kun is such a funny boy, I’d hate for him to lose it because of the mafia.”
“You- you-”
“Something wrong, chibi?””
“I don’t know why I keep expecting you to stop being an asshole.”
“Me neither, chibi, me neither.”
Ozaki Kouyou saw herself as a very patient woman. She had to deal with overpowered childish people and a rather useful - when not too focused on little girls - lunatic boss.
She was one of the five executives which mainly translated as being an overpaid babysitter.
That’s why when Chuuya entered her office, a huge bag on his shoulder, she only raised an eyebrow and waited for him to explain. A cup of tea would have been a blessing to deal with this but it could wait.
Honey light was softening her office, illuminating her beige walls with a serene atmosphere. Flower paintings had been disposed all around the room and in its center : a massive rosewood desk which stood in front of a bay window.
So peaceful.
So in opposition with her daily routine.
“Pray tell, why are you parading around with something like that?” She pointed at the bag.
Red blossomed on his face. Embarrassment?
“I’m offering books?”
“Are you asking a question or answering one?” She criticized.
“Sorry, Ane-san. I just thought some of my subordinates might enjoy what I bought.”
“Show me then.”
He opened the bag and showed her.
“Why have you bought dozens of Tsukishiro’s books?”
“I thought others might like it.”
“You’re a member of the Port Mafia, act like it.” She chastised.
“Do I have to stop?” Chuuya asked.
“Give them to our second team. It might teach them a few things.” Kouyou sighed.
Chuuya’s smile was as dazzling as a thousand suns. Seriously. What she wouldn’t do for this boy.
“Will do, Ane-san.”
“If the boss asks, this conversation never happened and don’t get caught.”
“Of course, it goes without saying.” Chuuya laughed.
I’m bored, Atsushi-kun !!! (ﾟ⊿ﾟ)(｀Д´) ಠ⌣ಠ ლಠ益ಠ)ლ
Dazai-san?
How did you get my number?
Odasaku gave it to me !
You stole it from his phone, didn’t you?
You can’t prove anything
Entertain me, Atsushi-kun
Don’t you have work?
Details, details (I’ll never do all this paperwork. Never)
What are you doing?
Regretting my life choice
Shouldn’t you running into a fire have already done that
No.
My friend is making me write me an essay about : “The sheer stupidity of willingly putting my life at risk”.
Sounds feisty
How is it going?
You’re trying to change the subject.
No, I’m not
I don’t see what you’re talking about (*^-^)
[picture sent]
“On the sheer stupidity of willingly putting my life at risk :
As Joan of Arc could testify (or Jeanne d’Arc if you prefer the correct appellation) fire burns. That’s why the author admits that running head first into it could be compared to a suicide attempt. However, my main goal wasn’t to turn myself into indigestible grilled food but to give assistance to a person which I hope can be considered as an extenuating circumstance.”
For your information, no one in their right mind would kill themselves with fire.
This kind of death is far too painful.
Only until you get a third degree burns.
When nerves are affected it no longer hurts.
Still would be awful for a while
I want a cheerful, painless suicide !!
What was Atsushi supposed to answer to that?
He didn’t have to search for long, Dazai continued.
I’m sure your friend is going to love it (￣∇￣)
I’ll never dare to show him that.
He’d kill me.
Your friend sounds like someone fun to tease
Only you would deduce this kind of thing from what I’ve said.
The hatrack is back oopsie
I need to go
Have a nice day, Atsushi-kun !
Have a nice day, Dazai-san.
Atsushi put down the book in front of him and sighed with despair.
It wasn’t terrible per se. Some moments could even be described as pretty good. The real problem stood in everything between those good moments. He liked when characters’ psychology were studied but here it - how to put it…
It didn’t evolve, there was too many repetition which didn’t add anything to the plot and most of the time every problem came from a lack of communication.
He could understand why people liked it. It didn’t have anything to do with poor tastes. Those books were relaxing. You got involved with their characters but not too much and the misunderstandings were entertaining. Also, some aspects of the story could be considered intriguing as long as you didn’t pay close attention to details.
It wasn’t that bad.
But not bad wasn’t good. Writing was the most frustrating activity ever. He had stopped counting about how many he had wanted to tear his hair out and just give up.
However, it was also the only thing about himself he took pride in.
Could he corrupt it for the sake of having more royalties? But what if he couldn’t earn his life anymore?
At the end, it just came back to one question : Did he want to do something meaningful for himself or just see this as a simple job?
Atsushi knocked his head against the table in front of him.
I’ll never find the answer to this question.
Some people managed to do both or to alternate between the two. Would he be able to be this kind of person?
Objectively speaking, the probabilities are against me. The risks of failure are far more important.
His blood seemed to boil because of what he was considering.
Either I betray myself or I lose the roof above my head.
So, reality or ideals?
He thought about asking advice but wasn’t it a decision he was supposed to make for himself?
I’m twelve. How am I supposed to answer those questions?
You stopped being only a kid when you decided to do this job. You must take responsibility, now.
He still hadn’t taken a decision. Great.
Atsushi took out the manuscript he had been working on before all this situation had started, the one he had showed to Oda.
He might as well do something productive instead of torturing himself.
“Do they have any lead about who killed the colonel?” Dazai finally asked.
“Here is the autopsy report, sir.” One of his subordinate handed him a thick pile of paper.
Dazai looked at it. This kind of things never was larger than one or two millimeters.
“What is it supposed to mean?”
“Well, the body wasn’t exactly in top shape when they found it.”
“Call the doctor and tell her I’m going to come and examine it myself.”
“Of course, sir.”
They walked into an empty street and turned into an alley between a clothes shop and a dirty grocery shop. From there, Dazai ordered his two subordinates to move a rather imposant dumpster. Here, they found the door which allowed them to reach the morgue where every body not belonging to a mafia’s member was brought.
Dazai hated this place. It always stank of alcohol and sweat. Also, the doctor had a tendency to ask him for a date. Not because she had any interest for him - at least from what Dazai had understood - she just seemed to really want to dissect him.
Now, it seemed like a funny death BUT he really didn’t want to know what she wanted to do with his body so he prefered to refuse.
“Dazai-kun, it’s been a while ! How are you doing?”
“Fine, sensei?”
“Still don’t want to have a drink with me?” She purred.
“You know it would be the greatest pleasure for me to spend time with a lady such as yourself, unfortunately, I have little to no free time. I have to decline.”
“Pity. You’re here for the body, right?”
“And to see you, of course.”
She laughed.
“Your flirting is terrible, boy. Follow me. It’s really not a pretty sight.”
She opened one of the fridge and pulled the platform on which stood the corpse. Once it was done, she took off the white sheet.
Dazai whistled.
“They had fun with this one.”
“Can’t disagree with you.” She smiled and took out her electronic cigarette.
The colonel had never been handsome. Too many battles which had taken a heavy toll on his body. He had been more scars than skin. Now, he was more blood and guts than scars.
Dazai looked at the wounds. Several gunshots but it wasn’t the cause of death. Those had mainly reached his shoulders. No. The reasons of death were the burn which covered his arms and torso. Cuts could be seen all over his face, as if hundreds of knives had tried to reduce him to piece. On his neck, dark marks. Someone had also tried to strangle him.
“It seems a bit excessive to kill only one man.” Dazai said. “The burns are not always the same.”
“Some were caused by frost, others by fire.” She agreed.
He remembered the colonel’s ability. Executives didn’t share the nature of their powers but it hadn’t been hard to deduce.
Soundwaves.
An useful skill for defense. He had been almost as indestructible as Chuuya. If someone had managed to kill him like that… And considering how he had died as well as the fact that no organisation had so many ability users…
Not reassuring.
Dazai turned around and walked outside, he quickly took his phone and called Mori.
“Dazai-kun, how is your investigation going? Having fun playing detective?” Mori asked.
“Boss,I have bad news.”
“What’s wrong?”
“The colonel was killed by different organisations. They are starting to form alliances in order to take us down.”
Hana cried for air as she felt her leader’s ability compress her lungs with an iron fist. An hand caught her hair and yanked it violently.
“You’re supposed to be a little less dumb than my other toys so do tell me why the Double Black managed to find you.”
“I- I’m sorry.” She sobbed.
“Do you think it changes anything, you pathetic whore? I gave you somewhere to live and that’s how you thank me? You’re going to r egret your uselessness.”
Once again, her ability’s claws lacerated her chest. Again and again. It felt like being drowned except there was no water and every inch of air she managed to catch felt like fire inside her already fragile body.
She wanted it to stop.
Tears ran down her cheeks but it only earned another punch to the jaw.
“Instead of crying like the disgusting child you are, you better think about a way to make it up to me. Or else you might end up in quite the unpleasant situation. Do you understand me?”
She nodded fervently.
Every bone in her body was burning with the coldest intensity. Death would have been a liberation in comparison to this.
“You don’t have anything to say? Well I guess we’ll have to make the lesson a bit more understandable.”
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no
“There was a kid with them? They seemed close !” She screamed.
Her words momentarily stopped her tormentor’s moves.
“How close?”
The hold of her ability weakened and Hana almost wailed in relief.
“They were laughing together. He was following them around. It didn’t seem to disturb them. They were probably used to him.” She precised.
“Is that so? Do you think you could find him again?”
“I could.”
“Really? You’re not going to disappoint me again, are you?”
“No, no, no. I can do it. I swear.”
“Then, bring him to me and be quick, I have things planned out for you if you dare to fail again.”
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If it's not to late, I'd love to see your take on the soft prompt “You haven’t laughed in a long time, and I guess I was staring ‘cause I forgot how that looked like.”
To the shock of absolutely no one, this got longer than I expected. I hope you enjoy!
Edit: I actually posted this on the wrong prompt, mea culpa!
You can find the full series that goes with this fic here.
Ship: Newt/Hermann
Fandom: Pacific Rim (post-Uprising)
Words: 3,150
—
Stay
The final days of the infection were brutal. The Precursors had lost their hold over Newt bit by bit as the time stretched since his last Drift with the hive mind, but that only seemed to make them more desperate.
At times, Hermann truly feared they’d shake Newton apart, or simply kill him out of spite as they struggled and clawed after their waining control. No one dared let Newt out of his cell even as his lucid moments stretched, in case they chose that moment to come roaring back. The effort of will to force them back down again often left Newton trembling and bathed in sweat.
It had been three months since his last incident when the PPDC dared to let him out of the quarantine to walk under his own power to the medical bay for the final scans. The first scans upon his capture had shown a storm of activity in his cerebrum, it was a wonder Newt hadn’t had a stroke from the level of chaos of two consciousnesses fighting for control of his body. Hermann’s knuckles were white from gripping his cane as he waited for the results, watching the doctors as they consulted the images while Newt sat in the locked holding room, looking down at his folded hands.
He was quieter these days than Hermann ever remembered, one might even say subdued. The Newton he had known could never sit still for ten minutes, much less an hour, without jiggling his leg, interjecting some comment, doodling, or tapping out a melody with his fingers. Perhaps it was one mark of his ordeal, a scar, that he had learned silence.
Hermann was Newton’s designated caretaker, had been officially since Newt’s first lucid moment when he’d squeaked out an affirmative from beneath the weight of their control, enough to count as consent. The doctors came to Hermann first now, and he struggled to his feet, as ungainly as a turtle rolling off its shell in the rush to see the scans. Newt watched him, he could feel his eyes through the glass, a twitch of apprehension in the tightening of his jaw.
“The scans are clear, for the most part,” said the doctor, a Dr. Abadi, a distinguished woman a few years older than Hermann. She gestured to a cloud of activity on the scan. “When Jaeger pilots who have lost their partner exhibit this level of activity, we generally consider them out of the woods with regards to suicide risk or other dangerous behavior. Most described the echo of their partner as manageable at that point, an intrusive thought rather than a controlling impulse. Dr. Geiszler’s situation is unusual but, combined with observation, I would consider this grounds to recommend his return to civilian life. Albeit with regular check-ins and light observation, which you would be qualified to carry out, Dr. Gottlieb.”
Hermann exhaled slowly to try to control the spike of his heartbeat, the leap of hope. “When would that be?”
“We could release him into your custody now if you keep to your residence on the base,” Abadi said. “Going beyond these grounds however would require further clearance from the PPDC.”
At those words, Hermann felt suddenly dizzy. He muttered his way through the rest of the paperwork, guides, and assurances by the doctor, but could not stop stealing glances at Newton in the next room. It felt like an eternity before the door was unlocked and he was left alone with Newton.
“So, what’s the damage?” Newt said lightly but his shoulders tensed. They were always dancing around each other, careful not to delve too deeply into what existed between them. Things like the fact that Hermann knew the only time Newton cried the day of the attacks was when his fingers were wrapped around Hermann’s throat. That Newton knew Hermann had moved heaven and earth to ensure Newton was captured and not killed, and had spent every waking moment since working towards his treatment and eventual freedom. That Newton had put himself entirely into Hermann’s hands without hesitation. That in the end, when Newton was finally cleared, they would both…
Hermann cleared his throat. “We can go home now.”
“… Home?” Newt’s eyebrows furrowed in question, as if he hadn’t heard right.
“You’ve been cleared. Do you need anything from your… from your old quarters?”
“From my cell? No! Wait, are you kidding me?” Newt jumped to his feet. Once, Hermann might have expected him to punch the air, whooping or dancing at the news but he stopped there, a grin threatening his lips. Composure. Newt never had that before, either. “I’m never going the fuck back there again. Burn it. I’ll just wear your clothes. Uh… can I borrow some of your clothes? And there’s not gonna be, like, a line painted down the middle of your place, right?”
Hermann snorted, an excellent cover for the sudden lump in his throat. “I’ll happily sacrifice a portion of my wardrobe if it means never seeing that dreadful prison getup again. Which is to say, ah… what’s mine is yours.” He stuttered over the last. Newton met his eye and he knew it clearly as if Newton had spoken that this was it, the moment where they had to finally come to a decision on what they were to one another. It was one thing to tend a friend and colleague through a time of crisis, another to open up his home to that man while he got back on his feet…
But for the first time ever they’d have privacy. There’d be no cameras, no recording devices. No risk that Hermann offering a kind word could be used to wrest Newton’s custody away from him for fear that he couldn’t offer impartiality. For the first time since… since he couldn’t remember how long, perhaps a few moments in the dreadful lead up days to the attack when he still dwelled in ignorance, perhaps when Newton’s hand was wrapped around his throat, they would truly be alone together in a room.
Hermann offered his hand. A stiff, awkward gesture that he half-wished he could pass of as a muscle twitch if Newton didn’t take it. What were they to each other? What could they be?
Newton regarded the hand for a moment before his fingertips slide over Hermann’s palm to take it. Hermann wasn’t sure if he should be surprised that he did.
—
Hermann stood silently by after they entered the flat, to give Newt time to acclimate to the new surroundings, sparse as they were. Living alone, Hermann hadn’t seen much point in bedecking his living quarters. They were simple, functional, containing mostly books and work papers, furniture to accommodate his disability, and one of the Kaiju figurines Newton had left behind when he left for Shao Industries, perched on the corner of a bookshelf beside his desk. It was single level and so could become cramped before long with two grown men who were not, strictly speaking, together in any way that Hermann might secretly hope. They weren’t there yet. They might never be. Newton might just take the time to get on his feet before seeking out new accommodations and privacy. The thought shouldn’t squirm in Hermann’s chest the way it did.
Finally, Newt sat on the bed and stretched his arms above his head luxuriously. “Fuck it’s good to get a change of scenery. Are you hungry? We could order a pizza. God, I would murder for a pizza.”
Hermann snorted despite himself and took a seat beside Newton on the bed. Newt doesn’t move away which is, in itself, a comfort. “It is a military base, but there are some alternatives to the cafeteria, yes.”
Silence lapsed between them, and he could tell by the fidgeting of Newt’s fingers and the pursing of his lips that it’s one where he would like to say something but can’t find the words. Hermann found himself in very much the same situation. He felt as if he were floating above the full impact of having Newt here, beside him in his home, with a clean bill of health that means that to the best of Earths’s abilities, he’s been determined to be clear, finally, of the Precursors influence. After ten years. Ten years of whatever torments they subjected him to, ten years of isolation, ten years of Hermann’s shameful neglect.
“Newton, I’m so sorry—”
“I’m so fucking proud of you, you know that?” Newt said simultaneously, and both broke off, staring at one another.
“What.”
“What?”
“The hell do you have to be sorry for, man?” Newt gaped. “Uh, in case you hadn’t noticed, I would have been completely shit-outta-luck if you hadn’t been there to pull me out at the end. Like, imprisoned for life or more likely just fucking dead. You saved my life. Again. I seriously, seriously owe you for everything you’ve done since… since, y’know, the attacks. And thanks to those jackasses I haven’t been able to say it.”
Hermann’s mouth worked. “But I abandoned you. I didn’t figure out sooner what had happened. I was too late, a step behind…”
Newt barked a sharp laugh. “What? What are you even talking about, man? You think I… ok wait, wait a minute back it up.” Newt held up a hand before pointing at Hermann. “You think I’m mad at you for not figuring out that I was possessed by aliens who wanted to destroy the world?”
“Well, when you put it that way…” Hermann’s lips twisted. “In a word, yes. And for not discovering their plan sooner.”
Some of the levity fell from Newt’s posture and the corner of his lips twisted down as he shook his head as if weighing Hermann’s words. “Ok, that one was a little on you. I figured once Obsidian Fury turned up with a Kaiju nervous system I’d have a good chance of someone figuring it out, but it’s still on like… the entire PPDC for not figuring out two plus two on that one. I mean, who the fuck else besides the Kaiju expert at Shao could have figured out how to put evil Kaiju parts into an evil Jaeger?” Newt shrieked, annoyance flicking over his face in what looked like a very old and oft-repeated frustration. He took a deep breath, steadying himself. “But before that? Dude, as far as you knew, I told you on no uncertain terms to fuck off because I had a hot new life and a hot new wife, what else were you supposed to do? Stalk me? Frankly, I’m just lucky you wanted to talk to me after all that.”
Hermann cleared his throat, flushing a little at the reference to stalking, the thought might have crossed his mind more than once. “Was any of that you, when I spoke to you, before the attacks? Or was it all… them?”
Newt puffed out a thoughtful sigh and scratched the back of his neck. “A little of both? They had this way of… I dunno, twisting my words. Like, I did want you to come over, but I sure as fuck didn’t want you to ‘meet’ Alice. I missed saving the world together but I’m not that much of a douche as to make it sound like you just helped me, get it? It was like, I’d start to say something to you and then they’d add some dickish twist to it so it was an insult. Sometimes… sometimes I wasn’t mad about it though. You were always ragging on my research, it felt good to rain on your parade, just a little, just to get back and to keep you from giving those fuckers ideas like fucking Kaiju blood for rocket fuel. But even once they were gone I felt like I had to be careful. I didn’t want the PPDC to hear in case they got the wrong idea or thought you were complicit with me or some shit.”
“Hear what?” Hermann said breathlessly. Even with the months spent at Newton’s bedside, or rather just outside his cell, they’d not had the chance to speak candidly. There was, as Newton said, always an audience. His head was spinning.
Newt offered him a crooked smile. “That I’m proud of you, man! Like, holy shit. Kaiju blood for rocket fuel? Becoming a one-man PPDC K-Science lab, saving the fucking world? You cannot tell me those dumbass Jaeger pilots figured out a way to get from Moyulan all the way up to fucking Tokyo in less time than it took for the Precursors to hop in a fucking charter plane, no way. That had to be you, which means you saved the world. Again. You’re a fucking rock star!”
“I… well, that is, I didn’t… it was nothing…” Hermann stuttered.
“Shut up, you totally are!” Newt’s eyes are shining and he has grabbed Hermann’s hand in his enthusiasm, the gesture so familiar to a time gone by that tears prickle in Hermann’s eyes as his gaze jerks up to Newt’s face. “Do you know how pissed off the Precursors were about you, do you? They were fucking livid, you scared them shitless. They wanted you dead!”
“Oh, well that’s terribly comforting,” Hermann said faintly. Newt laughed.
“Are you kidding? Man, I can’t think of a higher compliment. The genocidal bastards that wanted to wipe out our planet almost pissed themselves on the tarmac when they saw you were here too! I thought they were going to faint when you showed up at Shao that night, it was fucking gorgeous.”
“They needn’t have worried,” Hermann muttered, but felt a blush rising inexorably to his cheeks and ears. “I did nothing to prevent the attack.”
“You countered every single weapon they threw at you!” Newt exploded, throwing up his hands. “And it took them ten years to put those together. You did it, man. I thought… I mean, I’m gonna level with you, I hoped there would be someone on the outside smart enough to catch on, even when catching on would have been batshit insane, like come on, who just guesses that a fucking war hero like yours-truly is a sock puppet for aliens? That’s nuts, right? That’s the only reason no one could have figured it out.” There’s a fragility to Newt’s levity, as if he’s repeating a rote lesson he’s said to himself over and over, to reassure himself it was true. His voice cracked over the words, but he forged on. “I hoped there’d be someone. I hoped it would be you, honestly, and I was right. I was right because I had the best lab partner in the fucking world.”
At the words lab partner, Hermann jerked back and looked away. The space between them had been closing, Newt’s enthusiasm was infectious. He had caught himself wanting to close the distance, staring at Newton’s lips. But that was all they’d ever been on paper. Lab partners.
“Well, there were others involved,” Hermann said. “I can’t take all the credit. But it is… kind of you to say, Newton. Thank you. I had no idea you held me in such esteem.”
“Always, man,” Newt said. His voice was faint, and when Hermann glanced back his expression was soft. “Since the first. You never could have pissed me off as much as you did if not.”
“Where will you go next?” Hermann said breathlessly, if only to change the subject so the blush rising up his throat wouldn’t consume him. “That is, I want to help you get back on your feet. You’re not beholden to me, and I don’t want you to feel as if you’ve swapped one prison for another, no matter what the PPDC might say on the matter. Your actions were clearly under duress and we will prove it, if necessary.”
“Next?” Newt said, as if he hadn’t heard any of the rest. He looked around the room, as if seeing it for the first time, and then to Hermann. “I, uh, hadn’t got that far, really? I guess I’m chill to hang out here for a bit, not get tangled up in all that paperwork that comes with leaving or…”
He scrubbed a hand through his hair. “Fuck, I can’t do this. I don’t have any plans. The thought of going back out into the world? Scares the ever-loving shit out of me. What if they’re not really gone? What if they’re just waiting, y’know, hiding, and I’m gonna wake up at the helm of another evil corporation in a couple years? I’m right where I want to be, with a fucking army to keep an eye out in case they come back, and the person I… I trust most in the whole goddamn world to keep an eye on me. Hermann,” Newt squeaked, “I haven’t been totally honest and, fuck, you might throw me out for this, but there’s nowhere else I’d rather be right now. I’ve been thinking about you… about seeing you again for a fucking decade. I was hoping… look, you’re the only person that keeps me right, ok? I’m not sure where we stand but if you’re not gonna punch me in the face just for asking I was kinda hoping I could take you out sometime? There’s gotta be a restaurant around here somewhere, right? Or I could, I dunno, cook something for you and we could watch a movie, a real house-arrest style date.” Newt’s eyes grew wild at Hermann’s continued, gaping silence, and his voice rose in pitch. “Or I could be totally off base and I’ll start looking for places of my own right away! Fuck, I shouldn’t have even brought it up, fuck me and my stupid mouth, I could have at least waited a few days but nooo, had to make it weird. Look, I’m sorry, I…”
Newt began to rise to his feet, scrambling away from Hermann, and it sent a jolt through Hermann that jarred him out of the haze that had swallowed his brain. Hermann panicked, and did the only thing he could think of, the only thing to keep Newt from pulling away.
He seized Newton by the shoulders and kissed him with all his might.
It was a messy, unglamorous affair. Their teeth clacked. Hermann’s face was so twisted with warring emotions he probably looked ridiculous. Newton seized up under his hands for a moment, and when Hermann dared open his eyes he saw Newt staring.
“Oh…” Newt breathed, and just before Hermann could break away, babbling his own apologies, he continued, “fuck yes.” And Newt was gripping him in return, pushing Hermann back onto the bed so they were lying flat, kissing one another breathless.
“Stay with me,” Hermann muttered between kisses. “No more lines, no more separation. We’ll figure this out together. Stay.”
“What’s there to figure out?” Newt grinned against his lips. “I’ve got everything I was hoping for, right here.”
#newmann#pacific rim#my writing#it's so fluffy i'm gonna die#i'm embarrassed how fluffy this is#bon-pon
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Polaris Part Nine
Parts: Preview, Part One, Part Two, Part Three, Part Four, Part Five, Part Six, Part Seven, Part Eight, Part Nine, Part Ten (Coming soon!)
Genre: Action, drama, romance, sci-fi, etc.
Paring: Jongin x Character
Word count: 7.1K
A/N: After a long time, and update! Please enjoy the part and feel free to message me your feels!
Minjung felt her heart race as she walked. Everyone around her running towards ships and fighters for the incoming attack while she seemed eerily calm in the middle of it all. She wasn’t, though. Her vision getting blurry as she blinked, noticing she was crying. Fear. A feeling that could cripple her. For so long she worked to have the power and respect so that people feared her, not the other way around. She hated being afraid. Minjung grew up being afraid for hours, like her brothers. One wrong answer meant a beating. One hair out of place meant she was locked in a room for who knows how long. No food. No water. No light. That wasn’t even the worst of it. She knew that Minseok and Jongin got punished the worst. Minseok, because he was supposed to be the heir, and Jongin, because he was to be trained to be a weapon that felt no pain. The faint scars on their body a testament to that. The branding burned into their flesh all the proof needed. It was funny, how their father shows his favoritism. Part of her envied her brothers, because she wanted to be the one their father felt proud of. It wasn’t all she envied about them. They were braver than she ever could be. She would rather be a coward and be intelligent than a brave idiot. Fear is a feeling she hates. It makes her weak. It forces mistakes from her.
So, because of that, Minjung surrounds herself with power, keeping people weak beneath her as she did what had to be done for her mission. She hungers for power like nothing else. Desperate for her father’s approval. The only weapon he has left after the other four abandoned them. The best one, he tells her. She was a glittering gem while her brothers were shattered glass of what could have been. The only loyal one. The strongest one. The smartest one.
Or so she thought. Being moved around like a doll by Jongin made her feel uneasy for the first time in her life. She was never meant to be a fighter, but she was trained nonetheless. Better than many that faced her and yet it wasn’t enough. All those years of Jongin being trained to be the weapon made him intimidating for the first time in her eyes. Her resolve and bravery cracking. Then, hearing him like that over the intercom made her want to shatter. He scared her, because she knew he meant those words. Jongin has a soft heart for those he cares about. A sense of what’s right and wrong and wants to help. She knows Jongin feels like he owed Lang his life, and she pulled on that thread waiting to see them fall apart only for it to come together and get even stronger. It takes threatening a person he deeply cares for to make Jongin act like the weapon their father always wanted.
But he wasn’t coming after her yet…
“She’s still alive,” She mutters to herself. If she would have killed herself like instructed, Jongin would have sacrificed whatever it took to come after her. He would have turned his back on his piloting duties and came for her like an avalanche of certain doom. She remember growing up and watching her youngest brother fight off people after people. His skin covered in cuts, all given to him by Father. If Jongin let’s go of his integrity and his will to be a good person, he can be the most destructive person in this and any other universe. He was trained that way, after all. She remembers watching a seven year old him snapping bones of grown men like it was nothing. The look of cold and cruelty in his eyes. To be an unfeeling machine. Somewhere along the way, he broke out of that. He, to his core, was a good person. Their mother instilled that within them. Minjung ignored it. Jongin didn’t. He was also trained to go after people for revenge. For her… for Lang, he would give into that feeling no question if she had died. But he didn’t. Minjung isn’t certain if there was anyone in her life she would fight for like that...
And now she’s at a crossroad. Does she got after her, finish the job? Or does she turn tail and run? The thought of facing her brother if she did come back to try and end Lang life rattled her. She felt the dread and fear down to her bones. Deep down, Minjung knew what kind of person she was truly.
Jongin rolled Aryl with practiced ease. Most fly worse when their emotions are getting to them, but not Jongin. It’s like he’s moving even quicker. His fighter shooting down more enemies than ever before. Their ships turning into infernos of death as they crash into the water. The sea gathering those dead and dying in it’s cold depths. If it was any other pilot, he’d have an earful of being too flashy. But his skills are known. He flies like he needs to in order to do his job. He sees Sehun’s flyer trying to get two off his tail before he moves to help.
“I’ve never seen you like this,” His brother’s voice says over the comms. Junmyeon’s calm voice a comfort to Jongin. The only one he had right now. The third eldest in their family was calm and composed in times like this. It’s what Jongin needed right now.
“I thought you were in Singapore,” Jongin mutters, focusing as he did a quick turn, firing on the person who was chasing him.
“Turns out a fighter flight between the two is barely a minute. They showed up on their radars and I left,” He hear his brother say, “Someone has to watch over you. Baekhyun is helping Kyungsoo, so he couldn’t.”
Jongin’s heart hurts, “How is she?”
“She woke up once. They had her arm out and there was a screwdriver. Almost stabbed it into herself before Kyungsoo could knock her out,” Junmyeon mutters, “They’re getting that shit out of her arm as we speak.”
Jongin let’s out a breath he didn’t know he was holding. He nods to himself. “Dae? Chanyeol? Xing? What are they doing? Are they ok?”
“Dae and Chanyeol are helping civilians get into the underground shelters. Yixing will be out there in a minute. Don’t know where he was hiding, don’t want to know just in case he needs to hide again.” He says Junmyeon tapping away at the console in front of him. “Kyungsoo told me what you said,” Junmyeon calmly says over the comms. It was nice, having his calm voice there to talk to while there was nothing but chaos around him. “What they made her do. I’m sorry. You must be hurt.”
“I…,” Jongin starts, after one of the Kryton’s ships she was fighting is finally shot down by him. “I really believed it, Jun. Minjung was right to choose that, because I barely noticed anything was wrong. I was so happy that she…” Jongin shakes his head, “It doesn’t matter, though. Not now.”
He hears someone plug into their conversation. “There’s a ship leaving from the base. High ranking insignias,” Jongin hears Sehun say. “I’m going to try to shoot it down before it gets too far gone.”
Junmyeon gasps, “I switched to a non recorded feed. Sehun, that’s high treason-”
He could hear Sehun just laugh, though he could tell it was from stress. “Well, add that charge onto my murder of Iscar Rhys. Turns out high treason is something I good at,” Sehun say so casually.
Jongin’s eyes widen as he turns his ship to where he sees the escaping one. Though the window he sees his father and sister, along with someone piloting them. “Sehun, you really-”
“I overheard them. Yixing and Lyra,” He says, “They talked about that man before their marks were off. And then again, as they were getting removed. I’ve never seen them like that…” Sehun laughs, “Besides, I can’t help but want people like that asshole to rot. Reminds me of my father.”
Jongin knew exactly what he meant. Sehun told him once, about his life before the Syndicate. His father an ambassador for Etherion and his taste for young children, including his son. A man many respected, who took trips to Tribal frequently. That was, until Ambassador Oh fell ill, and no one knew why.
“How,” Junmyeon asked, “You were getting ice, and there was no evidence-”
“Chemical spill suit, the cleaner that was on the maid’s trolley outside his door, and a time manipulator,” Sehun says, calmly.
“Time manipulator,” Junmyeon asks, “Those are astronomically expensive. How did you get one on a Syndicate pilot salary?”
“It was your fathers, right,” Jongin asks, as he moves his flyer in front of his father and sister ship, making them stop.
“Yeah,” Sehun says, “He-”
Jongin cut himself from the feed, moving the radio over to the frequency of the Higher Syndicate line, surprised it wasn’t protected. Sehun will just have to excuse him on this. He sees his father look at him, seething in anger while his sister tooks terrified beyond belief. He made sure to flip the switch next to the radio, just in case. Even if the Fighter is blown up, the recording is remotely being saved to Junmyeon’s control computer.
“You tried to have me killed,” Jongin says, feeling his throat tightened. The anger and betrayal he felt finally coming to the surface.
“Yes,” His father says, his words stabbing into Jongin’s heart. For the first time he could remember, his father was disheveled. He didn’t like like a picture perfect higher up. Instead, he looks like a sad angry man.
Even know, knowing the kind of monster he is, Jongin still feels the need to make his father proud. Years of brainwashing would do that, he supposed. The tears fell from his eyes in the helmet, as his hands were shaking a little bit. Here it was, the truth. His own kids are expendable. His father a man who never cared for them as people, just as tools.
Jongin could feel himself burning with anger, “You made Krytons. From your fucking experiments.”
His father looked at him, unflinchingly. He stands tall, as if he’s done nothing wrong. “Yes,” He says, staring without a single ounce of regret.
Jongin gripped the steering lever tighter, gritting his teeth for a moment. “You’re a bitter evil man,” He says, “All this because you want to live forever?” His eyes move to his sister, though he knows she couldn’t tell with his helmet. “And you. You have to try to ruin everything in the most painful way possible because it makes you feel powerful when you’re the weakest person I’ve ever known, Minjung.” Jongin shakes his head, “Cowards, the both of you.”
“If you don’t go, we’ll shoot you down,” His father says over the radio.
“You already want me dead, so do it. Or are you all just scared of actually having to get your hands dirty? To be around to see what your decisions cause,” Jongin practically growls at them, glaring at them. The burning hate in their eyes, but mostly, he sees fear. “I’d love you see you try to shoot me down,” Jongin says with a laugh. “A fighter verses this transport pod? We both know who will win.” He looks at the pilot, “Does your pilot really think he can out maneuver me? I’m the best pilot in this and any galaxy. We all know it. If he’s brave enough to try, I welcome the challenge. You’d have to be a hell of a pilot to be able to do it in a slow ship like that.” He looks at his father. Moving and taking of the helmet. The tears still falling from his eyes as he could stare his father directly in the eyes. “Look me in the eyes, then. If you’re actually going to try to kill me, the least you owe me is that.”
Jongin watches as his father moves, slamming his fist down on the trigger button for the huge laser cannon on the front of the ship. Instantly. Unfeeling and unflinchingly. Jongin quickly rolls to the side, as the blast goes past him along with the transfer pod. The helmet held tightly in one hand. He glares, feeling his heart finally shatter. After everything, the person who’s approval he sought after for so long just tried to kill him directly. The Transfer pod moved slowly, giving him time to put the helmet back on. Jongin just simply turns, looking at the wings and seeing the eight thrusters. He locks onto one of the sides, shooting it. Four of the thrusters exploding instantly. He just stops a moment, watching as they go up in flames. The ship, without enough thrust to keep in the air, starts to glide down.
Jongin turns his radio back, “The transerpod is down on the South side of the island. It’ll float there until we can get someone to extract them.”
He could hear a small gasp. “Jongin,” Junmyeon’s voice says, soft and worried. It made Jongin happy that someone was there for him today.
He looked, seeing a ship explode as a Kryton ship moves in. The barrier stops them from getting in, but it was flickering. “The barrier-” He starts, racing off to keep fighting.
“We have someone working on boosting the power to it,” Junmyeon says, “Go. Do what you do best.”
Jongin nods to himself, before taking a deep breath. His heart racing from the encounter. The pain, knowing that his father hated him enough to actually try to kill him just them with his own hands hurts. The pain of knowing his sister was enough of a manipulative bitch to use the person Jongin loved against him. The haunting sight of Lyra trying to kill herself. After the hell he’s been put through, he needs an outlet.
“If we can take out their bomber, the overall threat would go down,” Sehun says to him.
“Let’s get going then,” Jongin says, shoving all his emotions out of his mind while he could. The threat trying to kill innocent people will have to be his punching bag for the moment.
I wince, looking and seeing Baekhyun holding my arm down while Kyungsoo was looking over what seems like a control panel.
“We’re done,” Baekhyun says, looking at Kyungsoo. “You can turn it off!”
He looks at me, smiling. “Here, all done!”
Everything that happened before slams into my mind all at once. The tattoo, Minjung, the knife… Jongin and the kiss… then ruining it all by being forced to try to kill him.
“I need to get to HQ,” Baekhyun says, looking alarmed. “Kyungsoo, you’re going to be needed at the ER. Lyra, things are going to need to be repaired, and I know you just woke up after a whole ass event just happened to you, but we’re being attacked and we need all hands on deck!” He glances around, moving to the part of the garage and seeing radios. He takes two, getting two pairs of ear pieces and hands them to the both of us. “So-”
“SHIELDS AT… 27 PERCENT INTEGRITY, POWER DIRECTED TOWARDS SHIELDS CRITICALLY LOW.”
I take the earpiece, putting it in my ear, “I’ll go see what I can do to help there.”
“Channel One is for high Syndicate officers only. Two is the HQ line. If you go to three and spin the small dial below, you’ll be able to talk directly to some pilots,” Baekhyun explains quickly. “Jun is handling the pilots, I’ll talk to all ground forces and emergency personnel. The room that controls the barrier is basement three. It’s one large room and there will be a control panel close to the entrance.”
I nod, before turning and taking off into a sprint towards the elevator. People running to do their tasks, some new recruits looking like they’ve seen a ghost. I get to the elevator, people trying to get in. One person practically shoving me out the way in order to get in.
I shove that man out, “I’m working on fixing the barrier, you can wait!”
He glares, pointing to his uniform, “I am a high ranking offi-”
“I don’t give a fuck,” I yell, “I care more about the lives of the people on this island than whatever the fuck you’re about to do, now get the fuck out!”
I slam my fist on the close door button, before finally hitting the BASE 3 button. As he just looks at me shocked, I roll my eyes, letting the elevator go down. It felt like it was taking years, and all I can think of was the pain I saw on Jongin’s face. How his bright smile quickly shifted to a look of betrayal. Thankfully he told whoever came in after he knocked me out that I needed the mark removed. I shake my head, trying not to think of that while a whole fucking battle was happening. I didn’t even want to think of what it looked like outside. The carnage that was happening...
When the door opens I see the entire machine barely flickering. I go over to the control panel, looking around. “Power’s low,” I mutter, running a quick diagnostic. I glare, seeing one of the power sources has been unplugged.
“Baekhyun,” I say over the radio, moving and walking to where the diagnostic shows where on the machine the thing has been unplugged. “Someone unplugged one of the power sources,” I yell into the radio.
“The shield being messed with, the plan to kill Jongin… seems to me this attack was planned,” He says, and I could hear the anger in his voice. “On top of the fact that we don’t have a lot of Fighters, Bombers or evac ships. This was the plan all along.”
I pick up the power plug, using every ounce of strength I had to push it into the shield machine. “The power should make the shield stronger,” I say, moving back to the control panel. “I’m going to make the emergency operations be the primary focus of the power. This should add more power to the shields. Power everywhere but the hanger, HQ and the hospital won’t be functional until someone comes here and turns it back off.”
I side my fingers on the screen, watching as it moved to Emergency mode.
“YES,” Baekhyun yells, “Shields now at 87 percent!”
I move to the elevator, seeing it was working still, but the lights were off. “I’m going back up, what and who needs help?”
“There are some laser cannons that popped up after we went into a state of emergency,” Baekhyun says, “If you want to take out Kryton’s that get too close…”
It felt like a blur, running to one of the cannons outside. People screaming, children crying as I hope into the seat and look at what was happening. I vaguely remember passing by Jongdae as he was directing people into a shelter. The chaos going on as I see Fighters racing about. I feel my heart in my throat when I see one speed by with a bear painted on it. I see a massive bomber, coming towards us.
“Baekhyun,” I mutter, “Is the bottom of the bomber open or not?”
“It’s closed,” He says, “Seems like they want the shield down first.”
“Fuck,” I shake my head. Looking at the ship. I look at the gun, seeing a sight folded down. I flick it up, seeing it magnify as I point it at the bomber. I smirk, knowing exactly what it was. “Patch me into Jongin.”
“Alright,” He says, as I hear a quick buzz as the channel changed. I hear Junmyeon speak.
I completely cut him off. Any other time I could get court martialed for that, but not now. Not that Junmyeon would mind. “That bomber is an older version of the Syndicate’s,” I say, “It has a weakness! Beneath the wing is VERY thin layer of metal between it and the top of the bomb storage. If we can just hit it, the whole thing should be done for.”
“How large an area,” I hear Jongin say over the radio. His voice meaning business. I could tell he isn’t even thinking about anything that’s happened before now.
“As long as the wing and less than a third of a meter in height,” I say, shooting a ship that flew buy me. I frown, “It’s going to require a precise shot.”
“Fuck,” Jongin yells, “I’m not that great of a shot.”
“You could kite it towards me,” I say, “I’m on the canon closest to the hanger. I’m a better shot, but the range on these things are not that great.”
“It would have to get too close,” Jongin, and I could tell he was angry. “Not worth it. The explosion would heavily damage the shield and risk you.”
I could practically feel my heart in my throat at him saying that. “Then I don’t know what to tell you other than try to shoot it,” I say, seeing a Flyer racing towards me. I manage to shoot the driver easily, turning to try and shoot down fast Kryton patchwork Fighters.
“I have an idea,” Jongin says quietly. “Jun… Is Yixing out and about doing his thing?”
“Yeah,” He says, as I manage to hit a Fighter. The sky is full explosions and lasers. Shrapnel raining from the sky, some coming my way as I cover my eyes with my arms. I hiss, feeling some cut into my skin, before I move, looking back and seeing a Fighter crashing down into the water in front of me, a ball of fire being extinguished and sinking quick.
“Tell him to look for me. Lyra,” Jongin says, and I should hear his voice shake. I felt dread, knowing he was planning something. “I’m sorry. You worked really hard on this Fighter, but this is our best chance.”
I was about to ask before I see Jongin’s Flyer racing towards the bomber. My eyes go wide, understanding what he was thinking. “Don’t you fucking dare Jongin you could Di-”
I see his wing clip the thin metal. The wing being ripped away, as it starts to spin. The bomber starts to explode as I see Jongin eject, his Fighter exploding soon after. I felt sick, it felt like an eternity before the parachute opened. “That fucking idiot,” I yell into the radio.
“Yixing is going to him,” Junmyeon says, “The bomber is done. The major threat is over with. Now it’s just clean up.”
I rip the radio out of my ear, taking my worry and fear out with the firepower I have at my hands. Junmyeon was right, it didn’t take long for the fight to be over. I leapt from the gun, moving towards headquarters.
I see a Flyer race above me, as I get into a sprint towards the comms building. I burst through the door, seeing Jongin and Yixing. Blood on Jongin’s side as he was leaning into Yixing, but his eyes locked onto his Father and Sister, both soaked and being held at gunpoint.
I walk forward, moving and pushing my way. The untameable anger I felt bubbling over just seeing Minjung’s face. She glanced at me, before looking away quickly. I move, balling my fist up as I pull it back, letting it smash directly into her face.
Her nose starts to bleed as she looked at me, eyes full of tears, “How da-”
“Fuck you,” I growl, “You goddamned manipulative bitch!”
“I am a higher rank than you,” She says, glaring, “I’ll have you killed for treason!”
I grabbed her jacket, pulling her so that we are face to face. “It would be worth it,” I scream in her face, my eyes filling with tears of anger. “I’d gladly die as long as I dragged your ass into hell with me! How fucking dare you act like you’re in the right!”
She glares, her hand quickly grabbing my throat. Before I could even act, I see someone rip that hand away. She looks, her eyes going wide in fear as I glance, seeing Jongin next to me, looking angrier than I’ve ever seen him.
“What did I tell you about putting Lyra in danger,” He growls, his grip on her hand getting tighter.
“Let go of me,” She says, sounding more like a whine than a command.
“Threatening a high ranking officer is treason,” Commander Kim says.
“Speaking of treason,” Minseok says, looking at his father. “What will happen when everyone in the known galaxies learn of what all the inner circle of the Syndicate has done?”
His father glances at him, “You have no proof. The conversation you recorded Jongin will be dismissed as it was taken without my knowledge.”
“But the info chip with your plans and messages to one another is proof enough to let you all suffer the consequences,” Yixing says, and I see him smirking. “Along with taking down the Tribian royalty, as they knew of the plan all along.”
“We looked all over your room,” Minjung says, shaking her head as she smirks. She wiped her face, trying to regain composure. “There was no chip.”
“It wasn’t in mine,” Yixing says, reaching into his pocket, taking it out. He looks at me, “Ceiling fan was a good idea. Genius that you weighed all the blades down too.”
“Thank you,” I say, smiling. “What worse is if she would have thought to ask me when I was under the mark again, she would have known.” I look back at her, “Seems like she constantly misjudges everyone. Not as smart as she thinks she is.”
“Smart enough to trick you and make you assault a high ranking officer,” She looks at the security around us, “Aren’t you going to arrest her?”
“I’m not pressing charges,” Jongin says, just as we hear the door open. I look, seeing Kyungsoo move inside. He was covered in blood except his hands. He pulled on a fresh pair of gloves, pulling Jongin towards a table as he sat in a chair. He doesn’t seem to care one bit about the tension on the room.
“How,” The doctor asks, looking over the wound after lifting Jongin’s shirt. His Pilot jumpsuit down to his waist and tied there.
“Kryton blade,” Jongin says, “They clipped me as I was parachuting.”
“Not deep,” He says, “Looks worse than it is. Hand still good?”
Jongin nods, just glaring at his sister. “I told you to leave her alone,” Jongin says as Kyungsoo was taping some gauze over the cut on his side.
“You also told me you didn’t care for her,” Minjung scoffs. “Which is funny because literally everyone who knows you knows you’re so in love with her it’s pathetic.” She laughs, “Brother, I thought you’d have better taste than some Tribian whore.”
My heart fluttered hearing about Jongin loving me. Then I just rolled my eyes to the rest of her sentence. “Say what you will,” I say, shrugging, “It won’t stop the fact that you’re both probably going to get fried. I made something of myself from nothing. You started in a good place and threw it all away.”
She reaches out, grabbing my shirt and pulling me to her. “I will not be lectured by some worthless bitch!”
Before I could do something, I see a hand grab hers and pull her away a second time. I glance, seeing Jongin glare at her. Her face goes pale, eyes wide.
Baekhyun smiles, walking over from his computer, “I wouldn’t get so daring since all the proof of your plans are gracing ever screen in the galaxies right about now.”
Jongin lets go of her, smirking seeing her face go pale.
“Looks like I’m the senior most officer here now,” Minseok says, looking at the security. “Place them in the holding cells. Check them over to make sure they have no weapons. Have Officer Zhang help you. He’ll know what to look for. We have statements to make.”
Commander Kim was red with anger, “The other commanders-”
“Are currently in custody, as we replaced this information to the second in command of the whole Justice department. They are, like you, going to be transferred to Mars, where the Justice headquarters is. There you will be judged for your crimes,” He calmly explains, looking at him. He shakes his head, “All this time you were a selfish bastard. We thought we were helping people… but it was really all of you all along.”
I saw nothing, watching as they get dragged away. Minjung screaming at her brothers, tears falling from her face as their father was just death glaring them.
Jongin moved, holding his side as he just sat down, closing his eyes and leaning back. I walk to him, as he just glances at me. I could see the heartbreak in his eyes. “Lyra,” He says, before looking away, “It’s ok. I know you didn’t mean it. You’re not the type to try to hurt someone unless they deserve it.”
“I almost killed you,” I said, feeling my eyes fill with tears. “I’m so sorry, Jongin.” I sniffle, looking down.
“Hey,” Jongin says, before I feel something hold my hand. I look, seeing Jongin looking up at me from his seat. He turned to me, a small smile on his face. His eyes weren’t smiling. “I don’t blame you, I swear. It was that mark, like you said. You’re not a murderer. You wouldn’t do something like that. I know you didn’t mean to. I’m just glad you’re ok.” He looked away, “I was so scared, seeing you almost kill yourself…” I see him stop, lip quivering for a moment before he seems to compose himself. “I’m just glad you’re still alive, Lyra.”
“I’m ok,” I mutter, placing my hand on his shoulder. He seemed to tense when I did, before relaxing. I frown, “Jongin, about everything els-”
“Jongin,” Yixing says, looking at us. A small regretful look on his face. “I… I found something else out. You and your brothers should see me. Alone.”
Jongin nods, before standing. He hisses, the cut on his waist hurting. I reach out, helping him stand straight. He looks at me, smiling sadly, before just nodding and walking away. The look of sadness and hurt made me want to completely break.
In that moment, I knew that the feelings I had for him were deeper than just attraction or like. I did love him, and I’m scared he’ll never believe me when I tell him.
Jongin looked at Yixing, who was smiling at him and his brothers. The four Kims standing there, completely shocked. The ticking of a clock in the room were the only sounds for a moment. It seemed to be extremely loud to Jongin, as he just tries to wrap his head around what Yixing just said.
“Mom… she’s alive,” Jongin asks, tears falling from his eyes. “He told us she died in an accident…”
“She’s alive,” Yixing says, smiling. A screen on the wall, moves, as Yixing glides his hand over it, showing their mother. A bit aged, but still beautiful. Her smile just like he remembers. “She’s in Wystria. Making wedding gowns for the last couple of years. She threatened your father to expose everything if he didn’t let you all go from under his thumb.” The spy pats Jongin on the shoulder softly, “He agreed, but she could never see you all again. I’m honestly shocked he didn’t kill her,” Yixing mutters to himself. “I guess there is one person he cared about.” He smiles at the Kims, grinning at all of them. “She’s alive. I contacted her a few days ago. She’s coming here. Should arrive tomorrow. After hearing about the attack, she started to leave. This Galaxy has a jump port to Wystria-”
“Those are expensive to use,” Minseok mutters, his eyes wide in shock though.
Yixing smiled, “Well, turns out your father’s account hasn’t been frozen yet. I remote paid for it with his money. She’ll be here early tomorrow.”
“How did you find all this out,” Minseok asks, quietly. Of them all, he remembered their mother the most. Felt the most pain when she was gone suddenly, seemingly taken from them. Now, he knows she’s alright. Left for their protection. He nods to himself, seems like something she would do.
“There was a file locked on his Reader,” Yixing says, his smile bright for them. He was happy to finally give them at least a little good news. “I know you know of it, Minseok. It took a bit but I finally cracked into it. I set this all up right before there was an attack.” He looks down at the floor, a sigh. “He cared for her. A lot. Which is why she was given an ultimatum. He had a journal. He told the other commanders that he had her killed.” Yixing looks at them, seeing the sour look on their faces at the mention of their father. “But that doesn’t matter. What matters is she’s alive, and is excited to see you all again! Right?”
Jongin pulled him into a hug, gripping him tightly. If it hurt him, Yixing didn’t show it. He just held his friend. After everything that’s happened, Jongin finally broke down, crying and sobbing into his friend’s shoulder. His mother, Kim Minjee. He closes his eyes, remembering her white hair and purple eyes. He clutched Yixing tighter, feeling his legs give out as Yixing just carefully got to the floor, on his knees still holding the pilot.
Jongin didn’t even look at his brothers to see their reactions. He just let himself get lost in the pent up feeling of the past day.
Yixing held him tightly, his heart breaking for his friend. When Jongin pulled away, he looks at Jongin. Yixing brushes the hair out his face, “Some advice? For future talks?”
Jongin looked at him, vulnerable. Scared. Yixing has never seen him like this. Always that confident bravado he puts on. Armor to shield him away from negativity. Jongin, the pilot, always ready and willing to jump into any fray looked like a small and emotionally exhausted boy. He nodded.
“When Lyra gets the chance to tell you, believe her,” Yixing says, smiling. “I overheard her and your sister, when she was giving commands and questioning her. You sister didn’t just hurt you today. Don’t push her away. Give her a chance.”
Yixing smiled, patting him on the shoulder. Jongin didn’t remember much, except Jongdae helping him to his room, where he, after the stress of the day, passed out. In his dreams, the smiling face of his mother and a mechanic covered in grease.
#exo fanfiction#exo scenarios#exo fanfic#jongin fanfiction#jongin fanfic#kai fanfiction#kai fanfic#I'm really feeling Polaris my next update may be in it too
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warning, the following has mainly snarky (and possibly furious) opinions on Spirit of Justice. Reader discretion is advised.
alright. part two, here we go
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“she’s safe”
“I’m afraid you’ve lost me”
the words ‘maya’ and ‘safe’ do not go together in phoenix’s dictionary
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...Phoenix’s phone has caller ID??
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ooh a phone vocal-blip. cute
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ok fuck you how is the Benefactor keeping tabs on them?? Did Atishon use his One Phone Call to report to headquarters or something???
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“I admit, I didn’t see that coming”
well spoilers guys I know who the benefactor is, and they have to be pretty fucking stupid not to know that a spirit medium is needed for this.
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“its your friendly neighbourhood dragon”
no dhurke, youre not cool enough to be spiderman.
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“you cant lay a hand on maya fey, and i mean literally”
>foreboding
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[sighs deeply]
guys. just. fucking call edgeworth. he’s chief prosecutor of america and his sister is part of INTERPOL. call edgeworth and just. fix the fucking problem. right now.
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“No time to explain”
ggghhghghhghghgh
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...oh. there’s edgeworth
...............now watch him be completely fucking useless
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.......ARE YOU KIDDING ME
PHOENIX /DID/ CALL EDGEWORTH THE MOMENT MAYA WAS KIDNAPPED AND HE STILL WENT THROUGH HIS FUCKING “DUHHH BETTER DEFEND THIS OBVIOUS CRIMINAL” SHIT??
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oh edgeworth. you and your chartered planes.
whenever he does that i like to imagine he hired MJN air.
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Edgeworth...
A) Why are you letting Dhurke be involved? Just cut him out, send Franziska and Lang in with a team of guys and kick the shit out of the enemy
B) You don’t need to conceal someone on a charter jet. You chartered it. You can do whatever the fuck you want with it. Besides, Dhurke got into the country p easily, he can get out the same way.
C) Dhurke is a criminal. Depending on what he’s done as a rebel, he could be as guilty in your country as his home country. Why are you acting like he’s innocent? Aren't you kind of by-the-book?
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oh yeah and despite the fact that they’ve updated Phoenix’s sprite, Miles still looks like a frozen plank of wood. Thanks :\
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Apollo: Sorry Trucy, guess you have to hold all the unnecessary evidence and hold down the fort and be LEFT BEHIND FOR A CHANGE AAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
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oh. this is a really nice garden.
the drama theme is kinda harshing the mellow tho
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o hai rayfa
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um. what the fuck. that mask must make it pretty difficult to do shit pal
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Garan, whilst ordering her henchmen online: drama queen or king preferred
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UR DIARRHOEA, GAH-RAHN
cool theme, love the use of the royal “we”.
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“what about those guards over there”
“ohh, just prepared to fuck shit u–– iii mean help you haha.”
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yeahhh... I'm not buying her super calm “my husband is a kidnapper” attitude.
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UIGSFILGFLIS DHURKE YOU FUCKING MORON
god he’s such a useless piece of shit. unless he’s trying to get taken so that he can be taken to... idk, wherever Maya is held in some sort of Gambit, he’s a real moron for just up and outing himself like that.
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BAAAAARBED HEAD. YOU HAVE SOME SPLAAAAAAAAININ TO DOOOO
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man why do they even give us other options if we can’t use them???
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“Dhurke... I sure hope he’s alright”
hey apollo wanna hear a secret
i dont
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Phoenix externally: Patience, Apollo, patience.
Phoenix internally: we are so screwed at any moment the queen could be all “OFF WITH YOUR HEAD” and i’ll never see trucy or maya again jesus holy mother buddha help me
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i love that Garananana is kinda just chilling with them. You got more important shit to do, queenie. like being evil
also open your goddamn mouth once in a while, sheesh
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Apollo: I hope no one gets hurt
The entire series of ace attorney as a whole: oh honey
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wait ... INGA HAD A RATTAIL?!
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ohhh yesss listen to those punches
why couldn’t they have animated it too ;w;
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phew. im glad Maya’s ok.
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yeesh... poor Rayfa.
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i love that even apollo’s like “fuck dad, you didn't kill him, did you?????”
its a beautiful contrast to how adamant he was about Trucy not killing Manov.
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um, soundtrack, now is not the time for Grand Revival. I know Edgeworth is on screen but the shit he’s saying is far, far from uplifting.
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“it seems prosecutor sahdmadhi has grown quite fond of her”
nooooooOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!
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“they’ve almost become a team of sorts”
ok so mark Ema down on the list of AJ characters who will never be seen again after this game.
fuck man i’d even take Klema over this
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can you imagine if they'd split up Apollo/Phoenix Edgeworth/Athena instead
i really wonder how Athena and Edgeworth would interact. Athena’s spunky enough to be a bit like Kay I suppose, so maybe similar to that.
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again, Kooraheen’s detention centre theme is really quite pretty
too bad i have to look at Dhurke’s face while listening to it
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...a tasty... hash house
i
oh apollo’s up for that
well tbh if i was him i could use some hash after all this shit
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yEAH YOU TELL’IM APOLLO
SMARTEN THAT BASTARD UP
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god apollo he’s not worth it. i’d say leave the fucker to his fate but i guess it is important to find the real killer... sigh
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apparently queen Amara liked insensitive fuckbags with masculinity issues
oh well. to each their own.
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>:( don’t compare Dhurke’s story to Phoenix’s, Apollo
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“you ran?! but why?!!”
oh i dunno, athena, maybe the fucking death penalty?????
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hang the fuck on
are you telling me that Dhurke started making trips to his shitty abandoned law office via sewer... while Apollo was still with him?!
Like what fucking reason would he have to drag him down there?! The place is an archive/resistance base, but Apollo and Sadmad lived in the mountains as children; why the fuck would he take his /kids/ into town at the risk of having them all arrested at once?!
WHAT THE FUCK IS YOUR PROBLEM, DHURKE
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that orb better be a fucking laser or some shit cause I'm really tired of hearing about it
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oh......... hi sadmad..................... what a pleasure to see you........... again................
just as fucking pleasant as ever
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i love that Dhurke is like “what happened to fighting the man, son??”
like even if he is a double agent he can’t very well just be like “psst I'm still on your side!!!!” in front of the fucking guard
i hate that dhurke’s face is so placid during this too.
“Son, why did you betray me? Also how was the sports game?”
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“The Nahyuta you knew exists no more”
yeah sure sadblackworth, whatever you say
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oh well that was abrupt
meh, onwards to the tomb
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“No, that’s the holy mother. She’s the one who brought spirit channeling to Khura’in”
oh so you mean Ami Fey.
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oh ema... i’ll miss you while youre off being Sadmad’s lapdog
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“You mean His Ephemeral Holiness?”
Yes, Ema, fight it!!! Fight it!!!!!!
“But when he manages a smile and compliments my work, it’s hard to say no.”
...nuts.
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wait what do you mean the defendant is someone you know
you met Dhurke like once a day ago
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aw apollo took the locked-room-mystery words right out of my mouth. i love him so. why are they going to take him away?
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alrihgt back to this shit after like a 3 month hiatus or something
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i love how chill everyone is talking about Maya’s kidnapping
“oh yeah he brought her here to the tomb so nobody would see. sensible thing to do. oh also maya almost died but i guess that’s nbd”
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casually opens a tomb
casually opens the sarcophagus hangings
casually tries to open the sarcophagus when told there’s a mummy inside
apollo, you're contracting douche-itis from everyone else. this old family of yours is a bad influence.
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...we’re gonna yeet this sarcophagus arent we
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i love that Amara’s just kinda. depicted standing there as she’s burned to death. i mean i guess theyre trying to preserve her beauty and dignity in death but it also makes her look like an idiot who didnt try to escape the flames.
ooh i like that last one though
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pff thats a pretty well-equipped corpse line
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“Where’d the other three bullets go?”
“Maybe Dhurke ate them?”
if he did they'd better have a VERY good explanation
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“the poor guy”
EMA
HE WAS HOLDING MAYA HOSTAGE
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“the cuffs of justice”
love it
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“just one of those traditions people do and they dont know the reason why”
“like rolling up your sleeves?”
“or your psychology, if we’re going there”
HE FUCKING WENT THERE
OOOOOOOOOOO I LOVE YOU APOLLO
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“he said grape juice has something in it that helps you relax”
are we going into grape juice lore here
"Really? ...Um, are you sure he was talking about regular, plain old grape juice?”
Yes, actually, Athena. It’s canonical that it is /actual off-the-vine welsh’s good ol’ sippy cup grape juice/. It’s not a metaphor or a censoring for kids, it’s just juice.
Of course, this is written by the DDSOJ staff. And considering the intense, dark n’ gritty action makeover the series got, I wouldn’t put it past them to retcon the juice into the... “fermented variety”. thanks Athena.
Yayyy not only do they write shitty dads, but they have to retroactively en-shitten Phoenix as an alcoholic father. Gosh, I sure do love these guys.
(obviously this isn’t a dig at anyone who head canons gj as wine, there’s a difference between head canons and malicious retconning.)
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hmm interesting mechanic for this chair. i guess since you can’t stuff it in your inventory you cant do the ‘look all over’ thing. but on the other hand, they REALLY wanted to impress you with that hidden blood.
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Ema: [performs a blood test in 2 seconds] I didn’t get a match!
Well probably not in that time, babe
i have to commend them on the little cutscene though that was nice.
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again, i guess Amara really liked emotionally stunted fuckwads
the devil horns are a bit much, though.
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oh damn.
thats a nice ass pendant
...oh thats blood
well, it sets off the pink and gold quite nicely. and its a butterfly... seems like something Dahlia would wear
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“speak of the devil...”
speak of the devil indeed. hiiiiiii sadmad... its been a while.
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oh ok he didnt say anything
also i find it funny that apollos like “Wait!! wait!! damnit, after him!”
and then you just. go back into the talk menu with Ema. bit of a moment killer, there.
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“why does everything have to be so difficult with you?”
cause hes a prosecutor, apollo. thats just how it is on this bitch of an earth
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“the law is the law. placing personal feelings above it is beyond reprieve”
ah but placing religion above it is totally fine. gotcha yuts
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“And the winner is... prosecutor Sahdmadi!”
helpful, athena
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“it’s like he’s trying to cover something up with his pretty words!”
oh did you mean the inevitable reveal that he's actually a good guy and we have to forgive him for being a shitwad?
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oh wow. that joke post about sadmad developing generalized anxiety was actually based on a legit thing that happened
is it ok if i hate him even more for it? i mean how did he figure it out? he didn’t let apollo use it in court so where would he have gained the knowledge? unless he knows about Thalassa’s abilities...
...also, how /is/ he doing this? the way Perceive works isn’t just “i can sense that you’re uncomfortable”, it’s that people who can use it have extremely good eye-sight and see tiny little movements in other people. If they’re smart about it, they can tell that the movements mean the enemy is lying. Apollo just happens to get tense when he notices this, most likely because he’s kind of straining his eyes.
But then again that brings up the fact that his power would act up CONSTANTLY, either because EVERYBODY FIDGETS, or Apollo himself could just be stressed and making the bracelet squeeze on its own.
So thanks, SOJ. Not content with ruining Apollo’s canon, you’ve also got to ruin his cool lawyer power. Gosh, you’re just the gift that keeps on giving, aren’t you?
-
“Powerless in the face of the Holy Mother’s blessings”
SOJ team is now nicknamed the Holy Mother. Or possibly the Unholy Mother.
-
“Looks like your power won’t work against Sadmadhi. Guess we’ll have to try something else.”
“Yeah, let’s ask Dhurke...”
Yeah. Because you obviously don’t have someone with you RIGHT NOW who ALSo has a special power. You dont even have TWO POEPLE with you with a special power. Guess we’d better talk to the man who birthed this shiteater.
-
“I won against Mr. Wright”
yeah in a completely rigged trial where losing would be the worst option. thats not really something to brag about, you know.
-
“...doomed to be reborn as something lower than a bug or a vegetable”
you heard it here first folks Sadmad hates sustaining agriculture and the bees.
-
>Lang’s scrolls and dickfuckery
>Edgeworth’s by-the-bookishness
>Franziska’s catchphrase
>Blackquill’s backstory twist
These were the ingredients chosen to make the perfect prosecutor. But the SOJ writers accidentally added an extra ingredient to the concoction: BAD WRITING
THUS UNINSPIRED ASSHOLE WAS BORN!
-
apollo you don’t matter to anyone anymore youre getting the boot. do as your foster pop said when you were a drowning 5 y/o and suck those pussy baby tears back into your skull.
-
welp thats it for part one of investigation day 2. now (i think) we’re headed over to the delicious pandering of Phoenix and Edgeworth, back together. Will it bring me solace despite being an obvious ratings grab?
good god, i hope so.
till next time.
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Moonlight Sonata
Pairing: Sephesis
Rating: T/sfw
Prompt: Apocalypse/Moonlight courtesy of @lilly-white
Word count: 2421
Summary: Genesis awakens and is confronted with a post-Shinra era world where Sephiroth has scorched the planet. Sephiroth has faith that his lover will join him.
A/N: Tag said sfw for this prompt...Look, I tried. I really, really did. But there are non-graphic mentions of sex. This is also more post-apocalyptic.
I see you there. Traveling always under the faint light of the night's sky. Riding in the passenger seat of a farmer's pick-up truck across the arid dust bowl of old mines and environmental wastelands. Hitched your ride in exchange for some head at a truck stop, you'd say. But he saw that flip knife in your hand and your eyes, bright like they were on the breezy plains of Eastern Wutai. You close your eyes. Not able to stand the sights and smells of burning cities. Of people rebuilding civilization in the image of a lost era.
They've forgotten you. Your charm. Your wit. Your betrayal. How your exercise in rebellion cost you your family, fame and fortune. Rendering you to the lonely, wondering soul that you are now; trying to find his way into a world so foreign to him. Even the lies they made of you were lost to time and war; I knew the Turks killed your parents, you always said you were adopted and appreciative, I also knew that you left with your engagement ring affixed to your left ring finger.
The farmer leaves you at the broken down train stop of Edge. From a night of coercion he told you about his wife and four children. How the cabbages in the back were to be sold so he could provide for them. Send those kids to college if there will be one again on the continent.
"E-Edge!" he yelped, knife to his throat. He tried to touch you in your sleep. His broken wrist remembers that, "It's where everyone is! Midgar...it's ain't a city no more. Rubble it all is. But Edge. That's the hub. The home of the new world government."
Pleads for his life he does. You took his word for it. Step into the rainy town, because a city without street lamps was a husk.
It's early afternoon and those clouds were thick like smoke. You weave your way through the streets, narrowly missing a rat chased by a small girl with a shiv. What did you wake to? Does it please you? Or do you wish that slumber had not ended?
You make your way to the only source of light you can see. Flashing neons, coffee in the air and flames crackling. Seventh Heaven.
POSITION AVAILABLE
APPLY INSIDE!
A job. Get to know the locals. Facilitate some income. Find yourself. Is a bartender your calling?
The bell above the door rings as you enter. A woman approaches. Smiling. Cheerful. But mature.
"Hi! Welcome to Seventh Heaven. Name's Tifa, I run this gig. New face, you are. Not a bad one either." She winks, you smile.
"Certainly not as pleasant as yours." You turn on that charm. She laughs. Your lip curls in that smug, self-important manner.
"So, what can I get for you, new man?"
You sit at the bar, eyeing the menu written on the chalkboard.
"If it's not too much of a bother...a pina colada. Don't skimp on the umbrellas either."
"Would two umbrellas be enough?"
"I won't be happy until there's at least four."
She talks to you. Teases you. Watches you try to drink your alcoholic concoction between six umbrellas. "If they fall off, I'll charge you double."
She has a foster child. She takes care of two children. She runs a bar and diner all on her own. She's got an Avalanche HQ sign stuck to the wall, and a picture of her and a troupe of interesting characters.
"You know...you look really familiar." she says, "Are those mako eyes?"
You smirk. "I'm not sure of the state of Avalanche today, but rest assured, I'm more interested in applying for that bartending job you have available than standing in the way of whatever it is you plan to do."
She nods. "How good are you in the kitchen, soldier boy?"
Tifa trusts you. She probably remembers you vaguely flying around Nibelheim. How you watched as Zack left her behind. How you foolishly, for a brief moment had the weakness to cast a healing spell to delay her injuries and wipe away the blood from her face. You shouted for help, had a disguised clone help drag her to safety before departing. Maybe. That or she's stupid enough to trust you.
You make dinner service a breeze. She gives you an impromptu pay rise for making good candied apples and seared steak.
"Come on, just say hi!" she drags a reluctant you out of the kitchen and presents you to everyone, "This is the man behind the magic!"
You know them. One squints foolishly at you. And the other has shock written on his face.
You ignore them. Thank the clapping ones for their compliments. Chat for a bit, before tapping out for a breather.
"I know ya." You turn to face the cigarette puffing engineer.
"So, you've joined Avalanche, Highwind."
"Genesis Fucking Rhapsodos."
"It's Francis actually." you joke.
Cid cusses. "He's dead, yaknow. Or at least we all sure hope so."
"I've gathered from what I've seen. But do you know where he was killed?"
"What? You plannin' on makin' a funeral?" he shakes his head and speaks to you sincerely. Or at least as sincerely as an uncouth bastard could, "Look. I get it. You two were an item. But what he became...not even human. No human could call on a meteor to destroy the planet. Sure a human could damn well wish for it ta happen, but the shit he's done...you'd have killed him yourself."
You smirk. I wondered what you were thinking. Maybe you wanted to agree. Maybe you wanted to punch his eyes out of their sockets. But whatever it was. You worked hard. Gained their trust. Slowly learnt more about me. Stuck around that Tifa woman. Joked with her. Bought her gifts. Took her out to dinners and cabaret shows. Everyone was loving you.
But Tifa especially talks to you openly and honestly. Takes you on expeditions. Trusts you deeply. Believes you to be a good man who will aid them. Tells you of all the tragedy I have caused - the deaths, the attempts to end all life. But did she ever tell you that I did all of this for you? For your legacy? I had plans for us. To have a world where it is only you and I. So no one could destroy the bonds we have and force us apart again. I regret...it's my only regret, that I did not leave with you. Had only I not been so foolish to believe you spun lies out of jealousy - to believe the rhetoric about you that Shinra fed. For I trusted that opinion more than my own instinct - than the own knowledge I had from having you in my bed and you as my only love. How could I believe that they knew more of the man I would die for than I did myself?
But you understand this. You know me. You know what actions I would take. You know that you were the greatest thing in my life. That I would bow to you and work for your favour. That I would abandon whatever motive I had if you so disagreed.
Tifa trusts you. But do you trust her? Or do you trust your knowing of the man you called your Gift of the Goddess? You humor her. You called her a sister. Worked her into your palms. What are your plans for her, exactly? No one seems to mind your relationship. The children appreciate having a father figure who wasn't a broody brat that vanished for days and weeks. You taught them poems and arithmetic. Took them to school, went scavenging for children's tales and other books, took them kite flying in the plains. You've always been a kind-hearted spirit. I believe my brothers would have appreciated just as much listening to you talk about the apple trees by the fireplace and being tucked into bed after you made sure they brushed their teeth.
But Cloud. He felt threatened. Reeve had teased him about you stealing the show - putting more work and effort into rebuilding camaraderie and the city. Tifa confides in you hushedly, asking for romantic advice. You take her hand and speak to her sincerely. But he cannot here you. Only see as you whisper in her ear and she giggles. You made a crass joke about your preferences.
That cadet shattered a bottle and tried to gash your pretty face.
"Cloud!" Tifa had shouted. He hit the bottle hard. Gone for days at a time, but felt like he owned the woman. I'd have never done that to you.
But you just shrug. Feint and counter. Put him in his place with your boot to his chest. "There are children around." you whisper.
He breaks from you and Tifa questions him.
He points at you. "Do you know who he is?!"
"Yeah...my employee. He makes good margaritas and I'm not losing him to your stupidity!"
"I just...I just hate seeing you two so..."
"So what, Cloud?"
"So...So flirty!"
"Flirty?!"
You laugh. Maniacally so. You grab the edge of the bar to stop yourself from falling. Tifa sniggers. "He's not like that...you know. He's a man's man."
Cloud was confused. "The hell you mean?"
You wipe away a tear. "Meet me at a glory hole and I'll show you."
It became known as the day Cloud stopped being a complete ass to you. Tried to know who you were. Realised he knew so little of SOLDIER. Asked you to help him clear out Old Midgar of the dredge left behind. Bizarre monsters, the products of escaped Shinra experiments and the corruption of geostigma.
You work late into the night. Sent Cloud home early as the pack had thinned. He took off. Leaving you here. Alone. Picking through what were the remains of our apartment with only the light of your lantern guiding you.
December in Modeoheim. What were we thinking, you thought as you picked up the shards of a broken snow globe. You find the mattress. Burned, broken. You cut it open. Dig through the stuffing. You find it. Coordinates. Of Loveless Avenue, the one restored sector of Midgar.
I was waiting. Rented a room. Wore contact lenses to hide my eyes. Cut my hair. Became a blonde with an eye patch. A man named Seth Faremis. I smoked on the street corner. Waving away adamant street walkers that went by. And you were there. Standing in front of the bright lights of the Loveless Theater. Thinking about all the plays that you had seen here. The way you'd lean against me, hold my hand, whisper to me. You were so vibrant then. Like the life of the planet vanished with you and had returned.
I walk to greet you. Either you were pretending to ignore me, or you were planning to leave. But I knew that you felt my presence. You always had. You at least believed that I was still alive. But the face that greeted you...I saw that disappointment. But you entertained me. We saw a play together. Found a private dwelling of rubble in the Midgar ruins to make love on. I said how I never wanted this night to end. And you placed your hands over my throat.
"Where is he?" you ask, eyes alight with that determination which keeps me yearning.
I grin, "Deepground."
You start digging. You know the site. And I help you for the time being. We hit steel and make the descent. Your body aflame as you take control of the facility - slicing through the guards and muscle that stood in your way, blasting through defenses, reminding the world again of the power and finesse of a fine SOLDIER. The scientists try to shut you out. Call for Code Red and attempt to evacuate. The halls run red of the last of Shinra blood. You hurry to the central most room and the sight that greets you...
"I've found you..." you say. You kiss me. Thank me. Farewell me. Until I leave that corporeal form, this avatar, clone, and re-enter myself.
Bound to a chair. Gagged. I open my eyes and see you break into the white padded room using a computer virus that you used for years with your espionage team.
I'm pleased. To see you with my own eyes in my own flesh. Those full, red lips. That soft, auburn hair. Those heavy-lidded slanted eyes. You had always been so beautiful.
And now. What will you do? Will you release me? Will you embark on that journey you hoped for so long? The one where you walk down the aisle, exchange vows and say I do. We could do that. We could rule this planet, not hide ourselves, scurrying away after dark. Pretending that your bed was not indented with the form of my body. We could do so much together. Could live the life we wanted. The one where we had an estate and a dog. The one where I would prepare firewood as you glaze the roast. The one where we traveled the world not as warriors, but us culture enthusiasts. You always loved the raw fish from Wutai. You would never put an end to all of that
Let's go to the hot springs. Relax. Take some time together. Plan that eternal future we will have slowly.
"I love you." You say. So softly and sweetly. You sit on my lap, unbind the cloth from my mouth...I kissed you. You kissed back.
"Genesis..." I say, not knowing where to begin and end, "It's been so long."
You unbind me. Believing that a wise decision and help me out into the dark. Where should we go in a world I am unwelcome? Under the cloak of a thick night we flee. Into the barren wastelands where the moon hangs high and you look so indelible writhing under the silver light above me. Moaning my name with the cricket's chirping. I touch your soft, warm skin, kiss your neck, watch the stars. Taste the milk of paradise.
We're panting. I open my eyes. Expecting to see your blushing face, tousled hair and soft, hazy blue eyes. But I saw the barrel of a gun. A gift from your father you stowed away.
Your left hand. Barren of any promises.
"I love you, Sephiroth." You say.
And I believe you.
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Beneath the Stars Chapter 8
Chapter: I II III IV V VI VII
AO3 Linkage
Summary: After a particularly regrettable fight with her sisters and Tamlin, Feyre tracks her boyfriend down at Ianthe's Newspaper party and receives an unwelcome surprise. Full breakdown ensues.
Chapter 8
Nesta and Elain froze when they saw me. No one said anything, so I cleared my throat and decided to go first.
“Hey,” and then I couldn’t think of anything else to say. It wasn’t like either of them to be home in the middle of the semester especially on a Sunday night before they’d have to be back early the next day for class.
“Feyre,” Elain said trying to smile at the same time that Nesta said sharply, “We need to talk.”
Elain faced our older sister and pressed her hands downward towards the floor mouthing something. Nesta grimaced, but spoke again with a little intensity. “Mom wants you to come home.”
“What?”
“Can we at least sit down first?!” Elain stammered.
“Fine,” Nesta and I said at the same time taking seats on the living room couches. “What is going on?” I asked. “What do you mean mom wants me to come home? This is home. And when did she decide to talk to you again?”
My sisters looked at each other tightly. Elain bit her lip. “Feyre…” she said slowly with careful deliberation. “We never stopped talking to mom.”
There was a silence during which everyone was uncomfortable and an awful truth sank in. Mom wasn’t talking to my sisters. They were talking to her - actively. I’d had it all backwards.
The only person mom had apparently stopped talking to was me.
And dad.
“But she left us,” I said as a raw spot in my throat went numb. “How could you-”
“We haven’t lived here in years, Feyre,” Nesta said coldly. “It’s time you didn’t either.”
“And go where? With her? Nesta, she hasn’t spoken to me since the night she left.”
“That phone works both ways, you know.” She flipped her hand in the direction of the phone still sitting in my palm. I hadn’t let go of it since I’d left Rhys’s - save for driving of course. “You could have called her. But instead you’ve been sitting here all summer acting like she’s the reincarnation of Hitler and it’s ridiculous.”
“Nesta,” Elain warned, but I was already fuming.
“What’s ridiculous is you defending her. Nesta, mom abandoned us. And she didn’t even bother to say goodbye.”
“That’s because we went with her!”
I sat back feeling like she’d just driven a stake through my heart. “You - you what?”
“That’s right. I dumped dad’s sorry ass and moved in with mom. She got a new place close to school so that she could make it easier on me and Elain with classes.”
I looked to my middle sister. Her body constricted inward on itself as she drew her shoulders up high around her face, her back curving over herself. “What does she mean when she says it’s easier on her and you?”
Elain looked like she might cry. “Feyre - Feyre, we just want you to be safe, okay? That’s all this is about. Mom left so that we could have a normal life because dad’s not well. Now that she has a place arranged, you can get away from him.”
She tried to lay her hand against mine, but I brushed it off. Betrayal took on a whole new meaning as I realized my sisters had left me too. I could see it in Elain’s guilty expression because she knew full well this was a secret her and Nesta had purposefully hidden from me. Why on earth they thought it mattered now to take me away was beyond me.
“Dad’s fine,” I said. “And anywhere with mom could never be a home. Not for me.”
“Are you fucking kidding me?” Nesta snapped. She shot out of her seat, ignoring Elain’s strangled gasp and disappeared, coming back a moment later with the kitchen trash can in her hand. It was empty save for at least half a dozen empty alcohol bottles.
Whiskey, bourbon, vodka… whatever dad could get his hands on so long as it took the pain away each night. I hadn’t realized he’d been going through so many bottles after I went to bed.
“You think dad’s okay?” Nesta shouted. “Look at this and tell me this is okay Feyre. Tell me!”
“Shh, he’ll hear you!” Elain said, standing up to put herself on Nesta’s level. Good luck to her. No one could ever pull even with Nesta. She was a tower of fire and venom hell itself could not have forged.
Elain pointed upstairs to where dad’s bedroom was. I prayed he was sleeping deeply by this point, even if that only further proved Nesta’s point…
“I don’t care if he hears me. Let him! He’s an ass for doing this to us and he’s out of his fucking mind.”
She threw the trash can on the floor and the bottles rattled inside causing me to jump. “For fuck’s sake, Nesta - he’s sick. That’s why he needs our help!”
“Get a grip, Feyre. He’s a drunk, and a lazy, depressed one at that. You can’t help him. You can hardly help yourself! Look at you running around with that loser thinking you have a life. You’re just as miserable and pitiful as dad is.”
“Which is why you have to come with us,” Elain said and then froze, realizing how she’d just sounded. “I mean - no, Feyre, I only meant that it’s not good for you to be around dad so much when-”
“I know exactly what you meant, Elain,” I interjected entirely stone faced. “I get it. I’m worthless. Mom said the same thing - right before she walked out. So save it. I’m not going with her. I needed her - I needed all of you - and you all left. Now dad needs me and I’m sure as shit not ditching out on him like the pair of you.”
“Such bullshit, Feyre,” Nesta said, but I cut her off with a shout so shrill, I hardly recognized my own voice.
“That’s enough! For years you have treated me like shit, Nesta and I don’t know why. I’m sorry your perfect sisterhood got interrupted ten years down the road, but you can blame mom and dad for that. So just go back to school. You can pretend like I don’t exist. It’s what you normally do anyway, right? Feyre doesn’t have a life. Feyre doesn’t have friends. Feyre’s not important. Well guess what - you were right. I don’t know why you even bothered coming.”
I stormed past them and managed to wait until I hit the stairs before I let the tears fall. Elain tried to call after me, but I listened as Nesta cut her off and made some excuse about it getting late and early morning classes or some other.
When I heard the car start, I dared peak out the window to make sure they were really leaving and then I went back downstairs to check on dad. The door was shut, but not locked. When I opened it, the room was pitch dark.
Dad was a collapsed heap in the middle of his bed. He was lying on his stomach so I couldn’t see his face, but a second later his body gave a great heave and a heavy snore erupted out of him.
He was okay.
I went downstairs and fetched a broom to clean up the broken beer bottle that had fallen on the floor beside his bed and cracked open, adding it to the trash can Nesta had shoved in my face before taking it all outside.
And then I went to bed wondering if I’d ever have a day that didn’t fill me with some kind of darkness again.
That was the worst part, I decided. Never feeling completely whole. Some days I woke up and watched the world around me burn. Other days I woke up and felt almost normal, but never entirely so.
For some reason, the universe insisted that something had to be off at all times. There were struggles that were easier to pinpoint and understand - problems like the trash can or the unanswered text messages or the unfilled applications, all of which were symbols of a lot more than what they were as simple objects orbiting in and out of my life.
But the days where I couldn’t figure it out, where everything was seemingly fine - those were the days that nearly killed me. I could wake up, pick out an outfit that made me feel good about myself and still feel like dirt.
I could sit at lunch and joke with Tamlin and sometimes even Lucien and hardly touch my food.
I could get an A on every test, come home to find dad stone cold sober, watch my favorite tv show, and get all of my homework done on time and it didn’t matter because I felt miserable. Something was missing. I had people in my life at every turn and I felt disconnected to all of them. I would say things I didn’t mean, ignore the people and ideas that mattered, and let the anger take over while Feyre coasted on autopilot.
The only time I didn’t feel like a complete zombie faking it just to get from one day to the next was my time spent with Rhys and Mor, but I kept those interactions as brief as possible. I sensed Tamlin didn’t like me being around them even though he wouldn’t tell me why, and most days I was too tired to argue. So the guilt clipped my smiles and every time I hung around Rhys for SBC meetings, a little hole in my heart opened up as soon as another closed.
And I was so sick of it. Sick of never knowing what normal felt like anymore. I missed it horribly. Missed understanding what it was like to live life without knowing with any certainty what kind of day I was going to have, what my body was going to dictate I felt regardless of what I wanted. Never had I felt so empty and full to bursting at the same time. It dragged me down and down and down.
Tamlin finally cornered me Monday to talk about the time I’d been spending on student council. He hadn’t spoken to me all day for never calling him back after my first day at work even though I apologized profusely for it all through lunch.
I was just about to open the door to the administration building when I found Tamlin pushing in front of me to slam it shut so hard the window pane vibrated.
“Are you shitting me right now, Feyre?” He kept a hand firmly on the door so that there was no chance of me getting past him.
“What the hell are you doing? Tamlin - shit!”
He stepped in front me, his face only inches from mine. I’d never seen him explode with so much anger before. It made me nervous. Where was Lucien?
“I thought I told you to stay away from Rhys? And now I find out you’re on student council with him? Shit, Fey - is this where you’ve been going every Monday when you ditch on me?”
“Oh because you don’t ditch out on me all the damn time for Newspaper?”
“That’s because Newspaper is actually important!”
All the fire went out of me as that single word Nesta had thrown at me reverberated in my head.
Important.
As in - I was not important.
“I’m getting somewhere with this and you’re wasting your time when I need you most. I tried to call you a million times yesterday and you wouldn’t pick up.”
“I was working. I was…”
With Rhys.
“You were working, huh. At eleven o’clock at night?”
The trash can falling to the floor.
Nesta hollering.
Elain’s milky doe-eyes cringing at me.
And mom, mom was…
“There’s a party tonight at Ianthe’s. She’s announcing co-editors finally. I was going to ask you to go with me, but obviously,” he turned and gestured roughly at the concrete walls I wanted desperately to crawl into, “you have other commitments, so I won’t bother.”
Won’t bother with you is what he’s really saying, my mind registered. When did I get so jacked up?
“If you’re smart - if I matter at all to you, you’ll stay the fuck away from him.”
“What exactly is your problem with him?”
“Should it really matter? Honestly, Feyre. I’m your boyfriend and you should trust me, which is a heck of a lot more than I can say for you right now. He’s not good to be around and he used me and his sister horribly a few years back. Set us both on the wrong path. That’s all you need to know.”
Tamlin left and I hardly took notice of anything as my feet led me mindlessly inside, past the reception desk, and into the meeting room where our SBC sessions took place. I prayed this wouldn’t be one of the days where the principal joined us.
Cassian was the only one there yet and when he saw me, his eyebrows went through the roof.
“What the hell happened to you?”
I sat down and replied with the only two words I knew anymore. “I’m fine.”
“Really? Because you look like crap and that’s putting it mildly.”
Heat flooded my face as a wave of embarrassment crept over me. His expression softened, but he still looked… confused.
“Hey,” he said much more gently. “You know you can talk about it if you need to. I can take the punches if there’s something you need to get off your chest.”
And he meant it. I could tell. Cassian stared at me and he understood something - maybe everything, I wasn’t sure.
I took a good look at Cassian right then, perhaps my first real look at him ever. It was hard to see past the hulkish figure, but for once I managed it. His football jersey hung out of his backpack with dried mud and grass stains worn into the seams. That meant practice almost every day after school. And he wasn’t stupid - not by a long shot. Cassian was taking just as many AP classes this year as Az was. Not to mention Student Council duties which Cassian was very attentive to underneath the pseudo-mockery he made of it.
He’d grown up on the move. Military family, dad probably never home. Was that what drove him? Was that why he gave so much? Because no one gave him anything?
Was that what he was seeing and assessing right now as he stared back at me?
I didn’t have a chance to find out. Mor breezed into the room and plopped down in the seat next to me. I took one look at Cassian and just barely shook my head in the negative.
“Well I’m pooped,” she said throwing her arms down beside her. She had her cheer uniform on so she must have just gotten out of practice. Cheer was an entire period unto itself just like a regular class. “Rhys better keep this meeting short. I’m tired of talking about pep rallies. They get exhausting when you have to perform at every one of ‘em instead of just kicking back in the stands like you lazy lot do.”
She was making a joke, that much was clear. Her smile was bright and clear as always, but when Cassian didn’t say anything and she took in my sullen mood, the redness of my eyes, her curiosity spiked. “Am I missing something, or-”
“Everything’s fine,” I said totally on autopilot. “How was cheer?”
She was still skeptical, but with a fake smile plastered all over my face and an encouraging nod, she was forced to answer my question.
The meeting itself passed in a blur. Rhys really did keep it short and I took the first opportunity to leave when it was over and bolted. He’d been eyeing me worriedly too many times and I kept thinking about what Tamlin had mentioned - how Rhys had somehow hurt him and his sister. I didn’t even know he had a sister.
I’d hardly looked at Rhys or said more than was absolutely necessary. Mor was asking if she could have a word with him when I was halfway out the door.
I stewed for the remainder of the afternoon unable to shake off the memory of Tamlin slamming the door shut in front of me. Tamlin getting in my face and yelling so harshly at me. Tamlin losing his temper so much that it frightened me what he might do standing so close.
Homework went forgotten. I ignored dad when he called up the stairs to my room in the attic that he’d made dinner. I wasn’t hungry. Food just didn’t seem… important.
I nestled in the corner of my room hugging my knees to my chest. The walls were still blank and the thought of painting them as I’d wanted to was now unbearable.
This wasn’t right. I wasn’t right.
I was breaking - maybe even already broken beyond repair.
But I had to try.
By the time I got to Ianthe’s, I could barely drive. I probably should have called someone. Her front yard was a mess of parked cars. The entire Newspaper staff was likely invited and from the sounds of celebration going on inside, it seemed she had already announced her co-editors.
No one answered my knock on the door, so I let myself in. People milled about everywhere and while it wasn’t a booming sound, music played distantly in the background.
Lucien sat on one of the couches with a cup in his hand. He was laughing - the happiest I’d seen him in weeks - chatting amiably with a brunette when he looked over and spotted me. His face went still as death and I recognized the look. I’d worn it too many times myself.
Fear.
I scanned the room and reached the conclusion at the same time Lucien saw it dawn on my face. He shot up in a hurry, but I moved down the hall.
There were too many doors. Ianthe’s house wasn’t multi-storied like most of the upper class mansions in this ridiculous city, but the layout of her lone floor stretched on forever. I could hear Lucien shouting after me.
The first two rooms were empty and the third was a bathroom, but on the fourth I struck gold.
“Feyre, don’t!”
I swung the door open into the dimly lit room. It was too dark for me to see properly, but my other senses took over. I could smell them together - scented the sweat collecting between them. I could feel it too. That tension between them as they moved? It was palpable.
Worst of all perhaps, I could hear it. The sound of skin on skin. The smack of lips sucking and nipping to tease and delight. The crinkle of sheets tangling between their legs.
The groan emanating from Ianthe’s lips as he pressed into her…
My body started shaking. I fumbled against the wall looking for the switch. Lucien collided into me with a whispered admonishment, but the force of him knocked me further and I found the light.
Tamlin and Ianthe were nothing like I’d imagined in the five seconds I’d stood in the dark. They were a million times worse. In the moments between the lights coming on and the realization dawning on Tamlin as Ianthe writhed beneath him, I saw her face - saw how her mouth parted and her eyes squeezed shut with delight and it wrecked me.
Rage replaced the guilt and grief that had ushered me over.
“Feyre,” Tamlin said, all movement ceasing. We stared at each other and I was vaguely aware of the party coming to a standstill behind me. The world was so silent when it came to a standstill. Tamlin’s lips trembled, his chest heaved. He looked down at Ianthe who was clutching the muscles of his arms.
He moved to get off the bed and I stepped back. “Fey?”
My blood boiled. I never wanted to hear my name like that from him again. “Congratulations,” I said keeping a tight leash on my self-control. “I see you got the job. I’m glad all the hours were worth it.”
“Feyre, please.”
“No.” My muscles shook, but I wouldn’t give myself away - not yet. “We’re through.”
“Feyre.”
The sheets pooled at his feet as he stepped off the bed. “We’re through.” I slammed the door in his face - an eye for an eye.
I’d forgotten about Lucien, didn’t even hear him running after me until he had to physically stop me and turn me around outside my car and I shoved him roughly. He looked horrible and I didn’t care.
“Did you know?” I asked. I already knew the answer, but I wanted to hear it from him. “Did you know?” I asked a second time. Lucien closed his mouth and I could see his throat clench as he swallowed his anxiety.
“Yes, Feyre. I knew.”
And it all made sense. All those weeks over summer of fighting and biting comments building between the two of them, Lucien’s warning me about Tamlin after Rhys offered me a spot on SBC, the way he and Tamlin barely seemed like friends anymore. Shit, even the night I went to Lucien’s party and he insisted on finding Tamlin himself. Was that because he’d been with her even then?
Tamlin was never obsessed with making co-editor or maybe he was, but it was only one small part of it. He’d been sleeping with her all along.
Was I to assume every late night he blew me off was so he could go and see her instead? Was every staff meeting just an excuse to cozy up to her more? Did he love her?
I decided I didn’t want to know. Lucien froze my car door as I opened it and I snapped at him, “Don’t you dare!” He stumbled back. I’d never yelled at him before. Not once.
“Feyre,” he pleaded, his voice dry. “What did you expect?”
“I expected you to tell me, Lucien! And if you think shooting him dirty glares and giving me cryptic messages about talking to him counts, you’re insane. I mean, for goodness sake, I knew you didn’t particularly care for me, but I thought we were better friends than this.”
“We were - we are. I only-”
“Don’t. Don’t even try to justify it. We’re done. I just want to go home.”
But as I drove away trying not to look at Lucien’s miserable face, I realized this was an outright lie. The further I got from Ianthe’s house, the more the picture of her naked pressed up against Tamlin burned into my mind. The more the tears came fast and hot on my cheeks, burning my eyes as they went.
I felt everything.
I felt the way Tamlin had looked at me like he knew he should be sorry, but he wasn’t.
I felt the way Lucien had startled off the couch, panicked I would discover the truth the I deserved to know.
I felt the way Nesta had thrown the horrible reality of my dad’s situation in my face.
I felt the way every bottle he drank drained me of a little more light.
I felt the way mom yelled at me to get out of her way as she closed the door - said the sight of me with dad made her sick.
I felt how truly alone I’d been for months turning away the only good company offered and clinging to all the bad.
I was in a hole hanging on to the last roots of the earth dug into the sides, dirt caking underneath my fingernails and making me feel dirty for clinging on. If I stepped down any further, there would be no climbing out. I would disappear forever and it terrified me.
The only thing that terrified me more was the idea that I wanted to disappear and never return. That epiphany of understanding just how insignificant I was in the universe threatened to crush me. As I drove, I wondered what it would be like if I took my hands off the wheel and just drifted on, let come what may.
Only important people with purpose in their lives were meant to stay, right?
Somehow, I made it to his house in one piece. I rang the doorbell and waited.
Rhys opened the door and his face shattered.
“I need help,” I said.
And then the dam inside me broke open wide and unabated.
xx
#myfic#beneath the stars#beneath the stars: a feysand fic#bts#feysand#feysand fanfiction#feyre#rhysand#acomaf#acomaf fanfiction
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