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hyperactively-me · 8 months

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NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO PLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASE LISTEN TO ME PLEASE

141 Task Force + Ale and Kö with a ballerina civilian wife. THEN!!! (NO PLEASE THIS IS SO CUTE LISTEN) They came back from a mission without warning and they go to a presentation bcse they never actually saw one AND!!!! Their wife almost pass out in the middle of the stage by seeing them there (they look at her all in love and proud UGHHH).

THIS IS HELLA CUTE BYE-

BESTIE I'M LISTENING. LOUD AND CLEAR. this is so cute omg!!! also, i've never written for anyone other than ghost, and i don't have the confidence to write for anyone other than simon, so please don't be upset but i will be writing this only for ghost. (although, i genuinely want to get some practice in writing for all the other COD men, which i am trying to somewhat do through my king!ghost au, i just don't wanna fuck up their characters too badly haha. if at any point i decide to write for the others, i will totally come back to this prompt!). also, i wanted to make this more into a oneshot rather than blurb/headcanons soooo! yeah!

As the soft notes of The Sleeping Beauty Suite filled the dimly lit theater, you stood backstage, your heart racing. You sat on a spare box, fastening your pointe shoes on securely. The spotlight beckoned, the hushed whispers of the audience creating a palpable tension in the stiff air. The curtains were about to rise, and you were the prima ballerina. As you finished fastening your pointe shoes, you stood, brushing out your tutu. The weight of anticipation bore down on you, but you stood tall, chin up, back straight. You had practiced this routine a hundred times. It was just another night, another ballet. Nothing you weren’t used to.

Except it wasn’t.

You didn’t know your husband had just slipped in through the doors. He was still in his uniform, except for his mask and tactical gear. He never wore the mask around you.

You had no idea that tonight would be different. All you knew was that Simon was not supposed to come back home for another three weeks. He had been deployed for three long months now. Your heart ached just thinking about how long you’ve been without him, the loneliness and longing that came with being a military spouse weighing heavy on you.

The sudden sound of the orchestra snapped you out of your daydream, and the curtain began its ascent. Your delicate tutu billowed around you as you took your first step onto the stage, your body moving with the grace and precision that only years of training could produce.

But then, in the midst of your pirouettes and arabesques, something caught your eye in the sea of dimly lit faces. A figure, tall and strong, standing in the back of the theater. The world around you blurred as your heart leapt into your throat. It couldn't be.

Simon.

The shock of seeing him in the audience was enough to make you falter, to disrupt the airy balance of your performance. You stumble over your feet slightly, your knees shaky from the sudden interruption.

You recover as best you can, continuing to dance. Your eyes locked onto his, you wanted to cry. He was home early. And he was here to watch you. His expression was one of awe and pride, like a lovesick puppy gazing at his beautiful wife.

You pranced and twirled, lost in the music and the whirlwind of emotions coursing through you. It was as if the two of you were the only people in the world, the stage your sanctuary.

As the final notes of the music filled the theater, you struck your final pose, your breath ragged, your body trembling. The audience erupted into applause, their adoration washing over you like a warm embrace. But your eyes remained locked with Simon's, who was clapping with ferocious fever. His eyes never left yours. You flash him a teary, wet smile.

As soon as the curtains closed, you fell from your pose, taking in a ragged breath.

Your fellow ballerinas had come up to congratulate you on a beautiful performance, but all you could do was say a rushed “thank you” before you were running through the backstage area. The backstage was a labyrinth of bustling dancers, stagehands, and dimly lit corridors. Your heart raced as you rushed to find a way out into the audience to reach Simon. The echoes of applause still reverberated through the walls, but all that mattered now was him.

Finally, you burst through a side door that led to the theater’s lobby. And there he was, waiting for you, his eyes shining with unbridled love and pride. His dark uniform was a stark contrast to the delicate pink of your ballet attire.

Without a word, you threw yourself into his arms, and he caught you, lifting you off your feet. The world around you ceased to exist as you held each other, tears of joy streaming down your face. His calloused hands wrap around you, squeezing you tight against him.

“I can’t believe you’re here,” you whisper into his ear, your watery voice filled with pure happiness.

“I missed you so much, love.” Simon placed you gently back on your feet, his hands cradling your face with care, wiping away your tears.

“I missed you, Si,” you take in a shaky breath. “So much.”

“I– I can’t believe you’re here, how did you know?”

“I would never miss my wife’s performance, now would I?”

A mixture of laughter and tears escaped your lips as you leaned in to kiss him, a deep and passionate kiss. It felt like a dream come true that he was here, watching you perform. It had been ages since he was last able to come to one of your performances, and his support meant the world and more to you. You pull away from the kiss, shoving your face into his neck.

“I’m so proud of you,” he whispered, his voice reverberating in your eardrums. “You looked beautiful, look beautiful.”

You pull back, looking at him with a huge smile, rubbing his back gently. "Thank you, Si."

He pulls you back into a tight embrace, wrapping you in his warmth and burly arms. More tears welled up in your eyes, and you clung to him, feeling the weight of the months apart melt away.

His words warmed your heart. You rested your head against his chest, feeling the steady rhythm of his heartbeat. The two of you held each other close, savoring the moment as long as you could.

#*ੈ✩ simon “ghost” riley #simon ghost riley x reader #ghost x reader #simon riley x reader #simon ghost x you #simon ghost x reader #simon riley x you #simon ghost riley x you #simon “ghost” riley x reader #simon “ghost” riley x you #hyperactivelyme #hyperactivelyme requests

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icy-watch · 2 months

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Those little signs above the doors said 66A before the power surge.

#liveblogging #ninjago #crystallized #season 15 #episode 24 #return of the ice emperor #s15e24

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aroacehanzawa · 9 months

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Tag games that have been piling up 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫 Thanks for tagging me everyone! 💞💞💞

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Tagged by @dandybabbler and @peacocksapphire 💗

picrew link

(this was such a cute and fun picrew!!)

More tag games under the cut:

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Tagged by @yoodokjas 💗

Bold what applies to you:

hardcover or paperback // bookstore or library // bookmark or receipt // stand alone or series // nonfiction or fiction // thriller or fantasy // friends to lovers or enemies to lovers // read in bed or read on the couch // read at night or read in the morning // keep pristine or markup // cracked spine or dog ear

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Tagged by @emerald-fume , @dandybabbler and @bobisnolongerhere 💗

List 10 songs with 10 names in the titles that I like, and then tag 10 people:

Sebastian's Summer (Brideshead Revisited OST)

Julia's Theme (Brideshead Revisited OST)

Pierre (Natasha, Pierre, and the Great Comet of 1812)

Vision of Gideon - Sufjan Stevens

Cambridge, 1963 (The Theory of Everything OST)

Grace Kelly - MIKA

Sanremo - MIKA

Francis Forever - Mitski

Prokofiev - Romeo and Juliet Suite No. 3, Op. 101: Aubade: Morning Serenade

Thaikovsky's The Sleeping Beauty Suite, Op. 66a (arr. S. Rachmaninov for piano 4 hands): V. Waltz

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Tagged by @ghostinb00ts and @satohruu 💗

Five random facts!

i have grapheme-colour synesthesia

my favourite film is The Sound of Music which i've seen more times than i can count

i was a choir kid in high school

i (used to) play classical guitar

i played Miranda in Shakespeare's The Tempest for a class play as a last-minute replacement when the girl who was meant to play her suddenly fell ill on the performance day

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Also tagged by @yoodokjas 💗

Bold what is true:

APPEARANCE

i’m over 5’5” // i wear glasses/contacts // i have blonde hair // i prefer loose clothing to tight clothing // i have one or more piercings // i have at least one tattoo // i have blue eyes // i have dyed or highlighted my hair // i have gotten plastic surgery // i have or had braces // i sunburn easily // i have freckles // i paint my nails // i typically wear make-up // i don’t often smile // i am pleased with how i look // i prefer nike to adidas // i wear baseball hats backwards

HOBBIES AND TALENTS

i play a sport // i can play an instrument // i am artistic // i know more than one language // i have won a trophy in some sort of competition // i can cook or bake without a recipe // i know how to swim // i enjoy writing // i can do origami // i prefer movies to tv shows // i can execute a perfect somersault // i enjoy singing // i could survive in the wild on my own // i have read a new book series this year // i enjoy spending time with friends // i travel during school or work breaks // i can do a handstand

RELATIONSHIP

i am in a relationship // i have been single for over a year // i have a crush // i have a best friend i have known for ten years // my parents are together // i have dated my best friend // i am adopted // my crush has confessed to me //i have a long distance relationship // i am an only child // i give advice to my friends // i have made an online friend // i met up with someone i have met online

AESTHETICS

i have heard the ocean in a conch shell // i have watched the sun rise // i enjoy rainy days // i have slept under the stars // i meditate outside // the sound of chirping calms me // i enjoy the smell of the beach // i know what snow tastes like // i listen to music to fall asleep // i enjoy thunderstorms // i enjoy cloud watching // i have attended a bonfire // i pay close attention to colours // i find mystery in the ocean // i enjoy hiking on nature paths //autumn is my favourite season

MISCELLANEOUS

i can fall asleep in a moving vehicle // i am the mom friend // i live by a certain quote // i like the smell of sharpies // i am involved in extracurricular activities // i enjoy mexican food // i can drive manual // i believe in true love // i make up scenarios to fall asleep // i sing in the shower // i wish i lived in a video game // i have a canopy above my bed // i am multiracial // i am a redhead // i own at least three dogs

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Tagging for any of the games you want to do: @linanord @mauxanhduong @yoo-joonghyuks-big-naturals @kimdokjas @nnakahara @tecchous-thicc-buttocks @nilesmoon @rolling-raccoon @sixeyesgojo @holdvilagos and anyone else who wants to join 💗

#tag game

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nonono-zzz · 10 months

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pic.twitter.com/idYJ6klAzC

— フカヒレ＠C102 2日目西め-66a (@fuka_hire) July 29, 2023

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tomorrowusa · 2 months

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Minnesota has had a narrow Democratic trifecta since early 2023. Since then, the legislature has been cranking out progressive legislation with Gov. Tim Walz signing it.

A new measure authored by first-term State Rep. Leigh Finke (DFL-66A) would prevent educational institutions and local governments from removing Pride flags and related symbols.

Minnesota schools, colleges and local governments would be barred from removing rainbow pride flags, banners or posters under a bill moving through the state Legislature. The proposal advanced through the House Local Government Finance and Policy Committee on Tuesday and is set to move to a full floor vote after LGBTQ+ advocates said it would provide support for the community. GOP lawmakers said it was an overstep. “The bill does not require anyone to display rainbows, nor does it supersede policies that prohibit the display of all banners, flags or posters,” said bill author Rep. Leigh Finke, DFL-St. Paul. “It just prohibits rainbows from being singled out and banned in schools, libraries and other government spaces.” Several states are weighing bills that take the opposite approach and would prohibit pride flags from being flown in classrooms and other settings. “The rainbow is a sign of hope and affirmation to the 2SLGBTQIA community — my community,” Finke continued. “For those outside of the queer community, it may seem trivial to legislate the definition and presence of rainbows. But in our community, depending on the circumstance, the value of a publicly-visible rainbow on a doorway or window or classroom is literally impossible to overstate.”

Minnesota seems to be competing with Illinois to be the Anti-Florida or Anti-Tennessee of the Midwest. 😎

BTW, in Minnesota the Democrats are known as the DFL for Democratic-Farmer-Labor Party – the result of a party merger in the 1940s.

Minnesota is another example of what can happen when Republicans loose control of a state legislature.

Find out who represents you in your legislature. If it's a MAGA Republican then contact your local or state Democratic Party to ask about helping to flip the district(s) or the entire legislative chamber.

Find Your Legislators Look your legislators up by address or use your current location.

#lgbtq+#pride symbols #rainbow flag #minnesota #state government #state legislature #dfl #leigh finke #tim walz #queer friendly #vote blue no matter who #election 2024

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classical-music-suites-bracket · 3 months

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Sleeping Beauty Suite (Pyotr Ilyich Tchaikovsky):

1 Submission

Last win – Holberg Suite (Grieg)

No propaganda

Pictures at an Exhibition (Modest Mussorgsky orch. Maurice Ravel):

1 Submission

Last win – Carmen Suite no. 2 (Bizet)

not sure any propaganda is needed bc the work speaks for itself but honestly Ravel's orchestration is incredible. The choice of instruments is perfectly thought through and elevates what was already a beautiful composition to begin with. It's an incredibly picturesque and varied suite!

#classical music suites bracket #round 4 poll #tchaikovsky #mussorgsky #ravel

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lours-postal · 1 year

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2023 – 66b

N’est pas apparue avec la 66a sur le fil

Encore comme les précédentes !!!!!

Exemple la 962

la 66a est un détail de la chevelure d’Emma !

#lours postal #carte postale #couleur #série de la chevelure #série des pieds et des mains #Emma #modèle Emma #Emmarcescible #Emma pour toujours #artpostal #mail art #art collaboratif #snailmail #cachet postal manuel

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sakeru-cheese · 11 months

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伍長 🧗‍♂️土曜日西め-66aさんはTwitterを使っています: 「軽率にキサキ https://t.co/vYhKETP3wy」 / Twitter

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theimpossiblescheme · 1 year

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the storyteller trio - playlists for celia, urania, and nasira for @bombawife‘s OC week (album art by @thedragonchilde)

01. alice alone - joby talbot | 02. spark of creation - nikki renée daniels | 03. down the hole - molly gordon, colton ryan, wesley taylor, z infante, nkeki obi-melekwe, heath saunders, catherine ricafort, andrew kober, grace mclean, and noah galvin | 04. on the steps of the palace - denée benton | 05. someone to say - haley bennett | 06. snöfall - a cerulean state | 07. the whole of the moon - fiona apple | 08. moving - kate bush | 09. u - kylie mcneil | 10. the weekly volcano press - sutton foster, maureen mcgovern, jenny powers, danny gurwin, john hickok, amy mcalexander, robert stattel, and janet carroll | 11. impromptu op. 5 no. 5 - jean sibelius | 12. follow the light - pomplamoose | 13. stop - shoba narayan | 14. the maiden and the selkie - heather dale | 15. rêverie - duved’s transatlantic five x tatiana eva-marie | 16. what is a youth - joanna wang | 17. i am my own invention - darren ritchie and janet dacal | 18. op. 66a, th. 234 - II. pas d'action: rose adagio - petyr tchaikovsky | 19. fly me to the moon - the macarons project [listen]

01. magic to do - patina miller and the players | 02. takk… - sigur rós | 03. new constellations - ryn weaver | 04. fairytale - sara bareilles | 05. the projectionist - sleeping at last | 06. zephyrus - the oh hellos | 07. set el habayib - fayza ahmed | 08. parachutes - hans zimmer and richard harvey | 09. whenever i call you friend - kenny loggins and stevie nicks | 10. the life of the party - zoe jensen | 11. digital ripples - ludvig forssell | 12. rainbow veins - owl city | 13. moon river - audrey hepburn | 14. sky woman - anachnid | 15. platonic love song #1 - lauren bird | 16. dear moon - jehwi | 17. the lost words blessing - seckou keita, bethany porter, kerry andrew, jim molyneux, karine polwart, rachel newton, kris drever, and julie fowlis | 18. i’m going to go back there someday - dave goelz | 19. 14.3 Billion Years - andrew prahlow [listen]

#cats the musical #cats oc week #OCs #if music be the food of love play on

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coochiequeens · 1 year

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The man who wanted to help kids undergo medical transition now wants to remove measures protecting kids from pedos.

A trans-identified male politician who drafted a bill declaring Minnesota a “refuge state” for the medical transitioning of minors has proposed an amendment to state legislation removing a stipulation that prohibits “sexual attachment to children” from being classified as a protected sexual orientation.

Leigh Finke, 41, is an elected Representative to Minnesota House District 66A and is cited as a chief author of HF 1655, a bill which seeks to establish gender identity as a protected category and aims to remove rights act sections of existing legislation “that allow for discrimination based on sexual orientation.”

Among the Minnesota Statutes amended by the bill is a subdivision that defines the term “sexual orientation” as having “sexual attachment to another person without regard to the sex of that person.” One characteristic explicitly stated as excluded from the definition is “a physical or sexual attachment to children by an adult.” Under Finke’s proposed HF 1655, this protective clause would be removed.

Finke was elected as a state representative last year after campaigning on a platform which largely consisted of guaranteeing medical interventions for gender non-conforming minors, including drugs which halt puberty, while referring to this demographic as “trans youth.”

Finke held several rallies for “trans kids” in the months leading up to the voting date, and the first bill that he authored as an elected official, the Trans Refuge Bill, or HF 146, allows minors from outside the state to receive puberty blockers and hormones within Minnesota. The bill was passed on April 24 and allows the state courts to have “temporary emergency jurisdiction” over children who enter Minnesota “to obtain gender-affirming health care.”

Finke was also involved in the production of two books intended as a resource for teens and parents on the topic of gender identity. Published in 2020, Queerfully and Wonderfully Made: A Guide for LGBTQ+ Christian Teens, targeted at youth aged 12 to 17 years old, tells readers that parents who do not accept a child as “queer” are not considering the child’s best interest.

“If your parents do not accept you and your queerness, then they do not know what’s best for you… Just because they love you does not mean they know what is best for you,” the passage states.

In a Facebook post just after the book’s publication, Finke shared a photo of the excerpt, emphasizing that “this chapter from my book is the most important thing I’ve ever written… Trans and non-binary and queer and gay and lesbian and bi young people: Don’t listen to your parents!”

Another passage, labeled “Adults Can Be (And Often Are) Wrong,” asserts that minors should “limit contact with any adult” who does not affirm their “queerness.” He also recommends that under-18s visit “queer sex shops” in order to get advice, presumably from adults, on breast binding and genital tucking.

When discussing the age at which children may begin to identify as the opposite sex, Finke cites research on same-sex attraction which found that participants, on average, said they first realized their orientation at eleven years old. “Transgender and gender non-conforming people often feel a disconnect between their self and their body even earlier in life,” it is stated, “but age doesn’t really matter.”

Disturbingly, in May of 2020, Finke lamented the death of pederast sympathizer Larry Kramer.

Kramer, a gay men’s rights activist and the founder of the AIDS Coalition To Unleash Power (ACTUP), is prominently featured on the website of the North American Man-Boy Love Association where he is quoted as saying “in cases where children do have sex with their homosexual elders … the child desires the activity, and perhaps even solicits it.”

Finke has also made statements in support of rioting and posted an image to his Facebook profile suggesting that it is necessary to “arm trans people.” He mentioned the potential for violence during a speech at Hamline Methodist in reference to a “torrent of anti-trans legislation” which seeks to restrict medical interventions for minors. Finke stated it was necessary to “protect trans kids,” and asserted that in the near future, “there will be more riots.”

On April 21, Finke took to Twitter to boast of having assisted in inciting a disruptive crowd of demonstrators who showed up at the Minnesota House to support his “trans refuge” bill allowing children from out of state to receive puberty blockers and hormones.

Last month, Finke was awarded the title of Woman of the Year by USA Today. He was chosen as an honoree on the basis that he is “the first transgender legislator in the state’s House of Representatives, fighting to build a better future for trans youth.”

By Genevieve Gluck

Genevieve is the Co-Founder of Reduxx, and the outlet's Chief Investigative Journalist with a focused interest in pornography, sexual predators, and fetish subcultures. She is the creator of the podcast Women's Voices, which features news commentary and interviews regarding women's rights.

#USA #Minnesota #keep Leigh Finke away from minors #HR 1655 #HF 146 #Trans Refuge Bill #A grown man telling kids to not listen to their parents #A grown man advising minors to visit a sex shop #He was a friend of Larry Kramer

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redphoeniximmigration · 16 days

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Red phoenix immigration Services

Address: SCO. 25 Sector - 66A, Industrial Area Mohali Phase 9, Sahibzada Ajit Singh Nagar, Punjab 140308

Phone: 91 98889-30091

Website: https://redphoeniximmigration.com/

Welcome to Red Phoenix Immigration Services! We are a team of dedicated professionals who are committed to providing comprehensive immigration services to individuals and families.

Skilled and experienced professionals often move to Canada to live, work or settle permanently. We understand that immigration can be a daunting and overwhelming process so to help people fulfill their dreams we at RED Phoenix Immigration services, strive to provide personalized attention to each of our clients. Our team of experienced immigration lawyers and consultants is always here to answer your questions, address your concerns, and guide you through every step of the process.

#immigratetocanada #immigration #visaconsultants #visaservices

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tellthemeerkatsitsfine · 6 months

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Thoughts on First Thing/Collaborator – Daniel Kitson (2023):

I wrote a post last week about how I saw the livestream of Kitson’s Ghost Story show, which is pretty much a remake of the Christmas show he’d already done. That’s one of the only two full shows he’s done this year (not counting just messing around with improv/up-a-chicken-style WIP), and the other one is also pretty much just a slightly different version of a show he’s done before. Which backs up the veracity of the thing he’s said in almost everything he’s done this year, which is that he’s out of ideas.

And yet, I am not complaining one bit. You’d think I should be, right? And I could understand another Kitson fan, a proper one who lives in Britain and has been going to see him in person for years, being a bit disappointed. But I haven’t been. I have been collecting all the Daniel Kitson I can find for the past year and a half, and lots of it has been similar, but I like hearing the updates as he progresses in both his artistic skills and worldview.

I think a lot of his shows can be considered companions to each other. Where Once Was Wonder feels like an update to Weltanschuung. Keep is a 10-year-later update to 66A Church Road. Something Other Than Everything is an update to Impotent Fury of the Privileged. A Short Series of Disagreements Presented Here in Chronological Order is… he was up against a deadline to have something to take to America and couldn’t think of anything new so he basically wrote Gregory Church again. Maybe a Ghost Story is A Story for Christmas but for Halloween. I enjoy spotting the many parallels between Mouse and Tree. And I realize that depending how generous you want to be, you could call something a “parallel” or “homage”, or you could call it derivative (of his own work, to be fair, which is at least better than being derivative of someone else). But I do tend to be generous, looking at any repetition as a “two cakes” situation. Why would I complain about having more of a thing I love?

I’d previously said the companion show to Polyphony is As of 152 GMT on Friday 27 April 2012, This Show Has No Title. I still think that’s true, and those two plus First Thing (which I’m going to call the show that was called First Thing in London and Edinburgh over the summer and has now been called Collaborator in Bristol, I’m picking one name to save time and I knew it as First Thing for too long to have changed how I think of it yet) can be a sort of trilogy. Three shows in which Daniel Kitson struggles to think of a new idea, so instead, he writes a play in which he is the main character, and the play is about his own writing process and back catalogue and it discusses his current lack of ideas. 2012, 2015, and 2023.

If anything, the fact that he’s done this twice before makes me less concerned about him spending 2023 insisting he has no new ideas. Okay, Daniel. You said that in 2012. You said it via an hour-long well-written story that plays with fourth walls and reality and shit like that. Then you had several new ideas in the next few years, wrote a few more lovely things (Analog.Ue, Tree, the Christmas thing, After the Beginning), and then wrote another play about how he doesn’t have any ideas. Then wrote a few more great things, and another play eight years later about having no ideas. Surely he has at least a few more cycles of this left in him before retiring to make pots for the rest of his life. And if he doesn’t, then he’s created lots of wonderful original things already and I wouldn’t begrudge him a few years of repetition before going off to make pots for the rest of his life.

So those are my thoughts about it in the larger context of that back catalogue that he wishes everyone would stop going on about. Aside from that context, however, I think First Thing is an enormously fun show. Especially the latest versions, when he hasn’t made fundamental changes but has cleaned up a lot of the dialogue, made it faster and snappier and it flows well and the jokes are spread consistently and the points are made in a sensible order and it’s just really well done.

It's Daniel Kitson at his most meta, it references all the older things about Daniel Kitson and when it runs out of those it starts referencing itself. It’s a retrospective of his career, and to be fair to him, I think his career has been long and varied enough to justify at least two retrospectives. But it is more than that, it’s got ruminations on art in general, and performance in general, and audience participation in general.

It’s kind of an apology, and I always find it interesting when artists do that. Write some art that exists to apologize for different art they’ve made. Simon Amstell’s Grandma’s House. Great Big Sea’s Dear Hometown. Daniel Kitson’s First Thing. What an odd assortment of examples.

In this case he’s looking back at the early days of his career, which I of course find interesting as an early 00s comedy historian, specifically a Chocolate Milk Gang historian, specifically, really, a Daniel Kitson historian. It makes a lot of references to things I’ve heard about, and in a couple of instances to things I’ve actually heard, in recordings from those years. I find it really fascinating to go directly between First Thing and hearing a few specific old recordings from the early 00s where he’s doing the things that he apologizes for in First Thing. Though I think most of the stuff for which he owes apologies is even older than that and from before most of my collection, from the late 90s. There is a documentary from 1999 that documents a little bit of it, and… yep, it is pretty rough. It’s not great.

He's obviously talking about his Late ‘n’ Live days as well, which I do really enjoy seeing, because I think it’s funny when Daniel Kitson is dragging a drunk Johnny Vegas off stage or wrestling David O’Doherty or rap battling David O’Doherty (they did do a lot of that back in the day) or taking apart a cow. Probably less funny when he’s yelling horrible things at audience members, though to be fair you could argue that some of those audience members were very literally asking for it at Live ‘n’ Live, I don’t mean in the sense that they deserved it, I mean in the sense that they showed up to a gig like that because they wanted that to happen. And if they really, honestly want that to be happen, then I guess that can be fun too.

This gets into all kinds of other questions about when and why it’s all right for a comedian to call the audience cunts. Obviously it has a lot to do with context, with whether they showed up to a type of gig where that should be expected, with whether they were heckling in a way to suggest they want that (which is its own problem – rewarding heckling by giving them the thing they want is a good way to ruin comedy overall).

I’d say it has to do with more specific things too – I wrote recently about seeing people online say they were upset that Daniel Kitson called an audience member fat in 2006, and someone else said he used to do that stuff but doesn’t anymore, and someone else said yes he does because he called someone a pedophile recently. Now this is a difficult thing to justify and there’s really no way to make it sound all right out of context, but I think that’s not a fair comparison because calling someone fat is a lot worse than calling them a pedophile. Because the former is a genuine insult, they probably really are fat and you’re telling them you think that’s wrong and you’re telling all the fat people in the crowd that you think how they look is wrong and you don’t respect those members of your audience. While calling someone a pedophile is very obviously a joke and doesn’t pick on a real thing about the person. However… that’s a tough distinction to explain, I’m not confident that I did it successfully here or that I could anywhere. All I can say is I’ve heard Daniel Kitson call people fat (in very old recordings) and I’ve heard him call people pedophiles and I feel like I can hear the difference. You could also make an absolutely fair argument that pedophiles do actually exist and there could be people in the crowd who’ve had their lives ruined by them and won’t enjoy hearing a comedian make light of the idea that one could be in the room. I don’t have a good answer to that, I think I might have just talked myself out of my own justification. I similarly don’t have an amazing explanation for why I as a feminist think the word “cunt” is okay even though I’m often less cool with a word like “bitch”, except to say that “dick” is also an insult because I think we’ve just agreed that genitals are taboo in society so therefore they’re a mean thing to call someone and the insults don’t have to be gendered unless you gender them. I’d be fairly suspicious of a man who only called women cunts, but I’m pleased to say Daniel Kitson applies it liberally across genders.

These are flimsy explanations at best, I’m not really confident in any of them. I just mean that I have heard Daniel Kitson call people cunts in a way that I’ve found hilarious, and I’ve heard him call other people names in a way that’s felt horrible and mean, and I wish I could find a more logically consistent way to differentiate between the two. I’ve also heard some comedians say almost the same thing but in slightly different ways and slightly different contexts, leaving one seem like a funny bit of harsh crowd work and another seem horrible. The status of the comedian comes into play too – if they choose to play a lower status then they can get away with more because it feels like punching up. But also, if they actually are too low a status, then I think excessive insulting can feel a bit cheap and desperate. Kitson might be in the perfect position that way, that he genuinely is sufficiently high-status so the audience trusts that he knows what he’s doing and can do this without really hurting anyone (anymore), but also plays low status enough so it doesn’t feel like he’s doing any real harm.

Back in the day – in the really early days of his compering at rough clubs and first couple years of Late ‘n’ Live – I think he was lower status but played a bit higher status, and that’s a good way to immediately sound more harsh. These are days I’ve only glimpsed through tiny clips as there’s barely a record of them, but I’ve read about them in some articles, and have heard Kitson tell stories of them in many later years. They are most clearly summed up in these paragraphs from this article in the Australian publication The Age from 2007:

For a couple of years, he learned to tough it out with audiences as the compere at the weekly new talent night at one of London's top comedy venues. “It was absolutely invaluable, up to a point,” he says. “It made me confident on stage; it made me not value any gig too much; it made me feel I could talk to people, but I did it slightly too long.” In 1999, he was doing the same thing in Edinburgh. “And somebody said, ‘Look, you've got to be careful; not every gig is the Comedy Café’. It was genuine advice and I thought, ‘f---'. “I realised I'd gone too far down that road and I was no longer doing the thing I'd originally wanted to do on stage. I remember sitting outside, nearly in tears, saying, ‘I’m shit’. And I probably was. I had loads of people saying no, you're brilliant, you're going to be huge and I'd say, 'But this is shit, hateful, bullying shit!' And that was a real turning point. It was after that that I decided right, I'm going to do a show that is material-based, not just me f---ing around.”

I've heard him tell that story on stage too, when he says the person who gave him that advice was small-faced man (and... possibly some things that are a lot less fun than having a small face and the reality of some comedians being horrible is exactly why being jokingly horrible isn't always all fun and games even for the genuinely nice ones, but let's not worry about that right now) Trevor Lock, along with Andrew Maxwell. When the three of them did a joint show in Edinburgh in 1999, which is where he also did a show with the Comedy Cafe, which was the rough London comedy club he's talking about. In Edinburgh in 1999, he took part in two shows - one with the Comedy Cafe where he'd been performing in London, and one with Andrew Maxwell and Trevor Lock.

The former is partly documented in this documentary about Edinburgh that year, so I can confirm that it's pretty fucking rough. A show that he did with fellow Comedy Cafe performer Lee Canterbury, and also appearing in the documentary is Noel Faulkner, owner of the Comedy Cafe who had taken them to Edinburgh like children on a school trip, it sort of seemed. That latter is the show where apparently Andrew Maxwell and Trevor Lock - hardly the epitome of thoughtful and restrained comedians - had to tell him to take it down a notch because you can't treat an Edinburgh show that's not in a truck like it's the Comedy Cafe.

...I may have recently gone through all the Edinburgh programs since his first year in Edinburgh, which was 1999, and taken screenshots of all Daniel Kitson's entries to put in a folder, because that's the sort of thing I do, so here are the two from that first year:

Amazing that at the time, his late-night (start time: 22:45, 00:30) Gilded Balloon show was the restrained one compared to the other one he was doing. Having seen some of the other preserved in a documentary, I can confirm that this is the case. It would be a couple of years later that he took over compering Late 'n' Live, where I think his skills at dealing with tough audiences were welcomed. This is where he did things like yell at audience members for using the bathroom.

After that, in 2002, he won the Perrier Award at the same time as Phoenix Nights was happening, and then he got bigger crowds as a result of both those things, including crowds of people who were just there to see the guy from the quite abrasive sitcom, and who wanted to see him call people cunts. And that was when he hit the brakes very hard on all the momentum he'd built in that direction, wrote the sensitive theatrical touching story show A Made Up Story in 2003 to put off all the people who want to hear him say "cunt", and developed his entire schtick about wanting to be small and un-advertised and refusing to perform on Friday or Saturday nights and starting shows at odd hours and doing everything he could to get rid of the shitty audience he'd cultivated by being shitty. In 2006 (the same year he left his agent, I think - though that might have been 2005) he fucked off from the raucous Late 'n' Live to go host Honourable Men of Art, at The Stand that was for artists rather than the Gilded Balloon that was for raucousness, to have a nice nerdy show with the other Chocolate Milk Gang nerds. He didn't even take some of his biggest stand-up shows to Edinburgh, instead writing more sensitive theatre things and performing those there. I've heard recordings from 2006 in which hecklers have tried to get into arguments with him, and he's said he doesn't do that stuff anymore, he used to be like that but now he's not, if they're here because they remember when he used to spar with hecklers and call everyone cunts then they should go away because he's changed. Though I've also heard him say that and then proceed to get drawn into some rough stuff with the audience anyway.

In his efforts to backtrack on all the things he hated about what he'd done in his early days, when he was only 22 and really should be easily forgiven for being a bit of a dick for what wasn't even all that much time in the grand scheme of things - he may, arguably, have slightly overcorrected. Just a bit. Surely there's some sort of middle ground he could have found. But I think one of my favourite things about Daniel Kitson is the way he eschews the middle ground. Whatever he's doing, he's anything but average.

I'm aware that I've veered wildly off topic, by the way. I realized I was going that way a few paragraphs back and decided to just go on rather than acknowledging it. But I feel like I should acknowledge it now. This is barely related to the show First Thing. But it is related to it a little bit. Because First Thing is him talking, nearly 25 years later, about those days of his career. And apologizing for them, even going so far as to write some of his slated audience members in as characters to come back to haunt him.

I like the show. It's basically Polyphony again, but I very much like Polyphony - it's one of my favourite things he's ever done - and I'm happy to have another Polyphony. Polyphony and As of 152 GMT on Friday 27 April 2012, This Show Has No Title are a similar idea executed very differently. Polyphony and First Thing are pretty much the same idea executed pretty much the same way. Which I think is great! Two cakes!

I think I fit into the exact category that's a target audience for something like this. Someone who knows nothing about Kitson's career history won't get a lot of the references in First Thing. Some who follows his career closely like a normal person will already know about Polyphony and find this repetitive. But someone like me - an obsessive collector of as many versions of Kitson as I can possibly find - will get the references and just be pleased to have a new version of the retrospective on them.

I don't think you have to know his whole history to enjoy this show, though. Because like I said, it's about broader stuff. What art is, what performance art is, what audience participation is, under what circumstances comedians should be allowed to call people cunts. You know, universal themes.

...I started this show planning to write a sort of review of a Daniel Kitson show, and didn't intend to do the long off-topic history lesson in the middle of it. But personally, I find the show more interesting when knowing the context. And there's a lot of context. But even if you have no context, it's a fun hour of the audience all getting to take part and there are good jokes and it made me laugh and that's what actually matters, isn't it?

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