i hope god makes my appendix burst so I don't have to be here anymore

Fading Summer

He held the purple controller with deadly hands, sitting shoulder to shoulder, feet from the TV with Kirishima, Denki, and Deku. The N64 you brought into the dorms has been the center of attention since you pulled it out of the dull cardboard box . Purple grape with one purple grape controller and the other jungle green. The other two controllers where black and midnight blue that you, the ash blonde, Kiri and Mina spent hours....weeks finding so more people could play either Mario kart or Smash bros together.

At first the scarlet eyed boy was aprahensive about the old gaming system. He saw how Kirishima and Pikachu would spend hours upon hours on their shared switch that could have been spent studying or training.

That was until he was challenged by you one lazy afternoon.

"Come on Katsu play one game with us!!!" Eiji begged, patting a spot between you and himself. Katasuki lounged on the couch, legs outstretched as he was planning to watch a movie before you two barged in.

Before you used your puppy dog eyes to get the remote so you two could play.

"No shark face." He sneered over the rim of his book. He locked eyes with you before a smile crept onto those soft lips.

"He's just scared he'll get his asked kicked is all Eiji." She said haunty, as she selected her character.

"Oh like hell I am." He snarls, climbing from the couch and forcing you and Kiri to scoot away from one another to make room.

He never could ignore the call of a challenge. And from then on he bested everyone, everytime in whatever game but you.

When he asked why you wouldn't want a switch instead your face lit up, as if reliving the bitter sweet nostalgia as you said.

"I've just had so many good times playing this with my friends and family. I just can't give it up."

So he had learned to love the feeling of the smooth plastic in his hands as this small thing was something that made him feel closer to you. Especially now that you two spent countless summer hours right here in front of the TV, laughing, shoulder to shoulder with a notebook keeping score of each others wins.

A notebook that lies open to the dark eyed boy, displaying the harsh tallies of class 1As winnings, everyone had at least one inky black tally before Katsuki played.

Everyone but you who had been absent since finishing dinner. His eyes wander to the stairs leading to the girls dorms before "PLAYER ONE WINNER" is bellowed from the TV.

"Come on Katsu let someone else win!" Mina whines as she pouts on the couch

"Nah you dip shits should just get better." He says dropping the controller to make his way to the couch.

"Where's Y/N?" Deku asks earning a glare from the ash blonde for asking first, "She's missing the last tournament before school starts again."

"Oh she said she wasn't feeling too well at dinner." Momo says, bringing the snacks from the kitchen. "She said she was going to bed."

You press the heels of your palms into your eyes.

"Get your shit together." You growl harshly at your reflection. Fat tears threatening to spill again, "Why are you crying over something so fucking stupid!"

Your reflection doesn't answer as you stare yourself in the eye, it only mirrors you splashing hot water onto your face as you scrub a towel over your cheeks.

When you hold eye contact again, it's as if you weren't crying.

You paced in your room, damning yourself for thinking sleep would soothe the weighted void that sits in your chest. Chiseling away at your heart until you were compelled to move.

To run, if even for a moment to have a taste of the dying summer air on your tongue one more time.

You stalk down the stairs quietly, having waited long enough for the tournament to be over. The light from the TV glows faintly in the dark hallway, you eased into the shadows on silent feet with your eyes on the prize.

"Oi, You're not as quiet as you think you are." You jump what feels like six feet in the air. Hand hovering over the cool handle of the front door.

The gruff voice comes from the direction of the living room and you do not need to turn around to know who it belongs too.

You thought for sure that whoever was in the living room was either knocked out or absorbed in the late night TV.

You feel your heart hammer in your chest, blinking furiously at the lingering tears. You're afraid your voice might give you away but your hesitation will tip him off.

"Oh Katsu, you're up so late. And on the first school night!" You tease him as you normally would, though you keep your back to him, he sucks his teeth.

"And where are you going at 10:30 at night?" You don't have to see him to know he is crossing his arms with distaste.

"Im just stepping out to the convenience store." You huff, not sure how much longer you can use your voice evenly.

The sun had already set so early tonight compared to the rest of summer. The sun no longer wanting to kiss the earth, to kiss you for over eight hours a day.

No it was dwindling and dwindling fast.

And that *scared* you.

"This late? By yourself? I don't think so." He says darkly. Hiding the concern in his voice the only way he knows how, with malice.

"Oh Katsuki-kun. I'm a strong independent young hero. I can handle myself for a ten minute walk." Except it won't be a ten minute walk, your feet will urge you further. You pull the handle and with it the door just for it to be slammed shut by a hot palm. He looms over you now, so close you can feel his breath on your ear when he speaks.

"Not by yourself. It can wait til morning. If its medicine I'll get it." You feel his eyes on you as they survey, you bite your lip debating on tricking him.

On sending him on a wild goose chase just so you could sneak out on that ten minute walk.

But you think better of it, he would be honest with you if the shoe was on the other foot and I'm sure he'd want you to be honest now.

Whether you wanted to admit it or not you knew in the back of your head that Bakugou Katsuki could read you like a book and vice versa.

It was only natural with how much time the two of you spent together this summer.

This now decaying summer that you could smell in the air after the rain, the slight smell of decomposing leaves that is so faint you almost think it false until Mina made that damn comment this afternoon. Wrapped in her hot pink towel, yellow eyes glued on Kiri who wrestles with Katsu in the pool.

*"Its gonna be winter before we know it." *

And those words hadn't left you since.

Not even now under the heated gaze of your crush.

The one who kinda reminded you of summer itself.

Hot, explosive like a storm and almost unpredictable.

"I'm going Katsuki." You say darkly, most you faulter but he is not like most, "So you can either let me go alone or you come with me."

He scarlet eyes rover over you, unsure of what you're feeling in the low cast of the moonlight from outside but your tone tells him something is wrong whatever it is.

Something tells him you aren't going to the corner store either.

"Fine." He bites out, resisting the urge to push you against the door to tell you that you are not going, instead he pushes away, "Just let me grab my fucking phone."

He walks backwards to the living room sending you a glare before turning on his heel.

A glare in warning not to leave without him. So you don't.

He huffs as the two of you walk in silence, eyes watching the corner store fade behind the both of you.

"So where are we really headed?" He sighs in mock agony.

"You'll see!!" Your mood has improved some, at least since you pulled in a giant breathe of air when the two of you stepped outside.

The crickets still singing in the warm night, calling to you in their song.

Your eyes look to the sky to see the full moon, your whole body relishing the warmth of the night time air. Smile so wide on your face that it hurts.

A smile that Katsuki finds contagious as his lips turn upwards, eyes glued to you.

You hear a clock chime signaling the time and you gasp, grabbing onto Katsuki's rough hand, dragging him as you break into a full spring.

"We're gonna miss the train!" You yell to him which encourages him to keep pace.

Once the doors close behind you, you both grip your knees gasping for air.

The only other person on the late night train smiles, eyes twinkling with sudden memories of their own late nights.

"Where the fuck are we going?" Katsuki asks with little bite in his voice as you settle in front of the window.

"Its a secret!!!" You sing song as the train rushes by scenery that he watches you drink up as if this is the last time you'll see it.

It isn't until the train crosses the bridge does he realize you two are headed to the last stop.

Which come faster than he'd like, only now is he realizing he could watch you stare out at the stars all night, the train chimes overhead and you stand pulling him once more.

You find yourselves in a huge crowd and you smile pulling him further through the throngs of people. You stop when you see little stands set up every where filled to the brim even so late at night. You stop suddenly to ask a woman in a beautiful yukata that shimmers in pinks and golds like the setting sun.

"Excuse me what is this?" You ask politely, your curiosity earning a huge smile.

"Ah this is the End of the Summer Festival!" When she says the word end you squeeze Katsuki's hand tighter, "All things summer is here for you to enjoy!"

He watches your face almost become crest fallen.

"Why so late in the day," His tone comes out harsh and the woman glances between the two of you giving a small blush.

"Ah it's an all day event so everyone can enjoy it! Some people work so late they were missing it and others just couldnt say good bye to summer before sunset. Please enjoy the festival!"

You blink hard and try to take in your surroundings. You spy many little market stands filled with food, games and hell even an arcade.

Katsuki does not pull away from your soft grip on his hand, in fact his interlocks your fingers so you can pull him better. You don't look back when he does it and you don't look back as you pull him through the stands.

You start by buying you both Yakitori, followed by mouthwatering Ayu, some Takoyaki and all sumed up by sweet Taiyaki.

That is until you spot the famous colored cotton candy shaped like a fat unicorn horn.

Katsuki does not complain while he waits in line with you, your eyes finding your next adventure. He does not complain when you ask him to take a picture of you underneath the paper lanterns, that hit you in such a way that he cannot take his eyes off of you, or your smiling face as you stare at him.

You do not realize he sends the picture to himself as you slide your hand back into his offering him some of the sugary string to which he takes a large bite.

Letting the sugar dissolve agaisnt his tongue he wonders if your lips will be as sweet if not sweeter. He blushes but you do not notice as you drag him to a game.

"Step right up! Only 500 yen!" The man calls, "Break the record of seven watermelons with one punch and win the grand prize!"

Your eyes widen with glee as you see the oversized cat plush holding your favorite dessert, a taiyaki bun, in its obnoxiously cute black paws. The thing is so cute and sweet just looking at it makes Katsuki a little nauseous but when he sees the want glinting in your eyes he reluctantly releases your hand with out your asking to crack his neck.

"Alright line up as many as you've got." His eyes gleam with competative arrogance, forearm dancing with small explosions.

"Alright. If you can do 10 then I will throw in 10,000 yen." The elderly man says smugly lining up over 25 watermelons.

"Heh. Get ready to pay up gramps. Oh and of course I want that cat too."

"Sure thing kid. But you gotta get seven if you wanna win that for your pretty girlfriend over there." He laughs and Katsuki's cheeks burn with rage and blush.

He winds up and packs it with punch as he slams his fist into the first watermelon obliterating it and the shock from the blast causes the other 25 watermelons to explode as well. You squeal with delight.

"KATSUKI-KUN YOU WON!" Practically jumping with joy over his triumph confirming that he would do it all over again just to see you that happy.

Even if it took him braking 25,000 watermelons he would fucking do it for just a glimpse of the smile you've been hiding the past few days.

Katsuki smirks with manic malice as he jumps up to grab the oversized cat before holding out his hand.

The elderly man stands in uter shock as he stares down the red mess before him hesitant as he digs around for his little silver box of cash. He counts out the 10k yen sending you two on your way.

"Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!" You say as you squeeze the hell out of the cat, still jumping. Katsu sucks his teeth unable to keep the genuine smile off of his own face.

"It was nothing." He says as you slip your ever soft palm to his. His skin buzzes everytime yours touches his and he gladly let's you take the lead.

"Ah I'm thirsty after all that excitement." You beam, Bakugou spies a soda stand, fingering the easily got yen in his pocket.

"I'll get us a cherry soda, stay put." He says as he stands you off to the side since the line is hatefully long. He stares down at his phone at the picture of you he just took, smiling like a mad man as he waits.

You will always be worth the wait.

"This is your final warning." You growl darkly, causing Bakguou to look up with sharp eyes. He sees you placing the stuffed animal on the bench as this guy harasses you.

"Come on sugar tits." Katsuki practically blows up in line then and there as he stalks towards your back. He slips his right arm around your front pressing into your left hip bone pushing you into his body. He tilts his head as he left hand ignites inches from the guys face.

"Did you just fucking call *my* girl sugar tits?" His voice is so dark near your ear that you blush, letting your quirk fade from your palms.

And did he just say my girl?

Your gut clenches as he pulls you impossibly closer. Hand still letting off pops.

"I think you owe her a fucking apology before I make you sorry you ever thought you could disrespect a woman like that you stupid fuck."

"I..I'm sorry." The guy stammers with his now burnt off eyebrows as he bows deeply.

"Grab Neko-chan, Y/N." Katsuki purrs in your ear barely letting you go to do so. You hold onto the cat with all your might, heart banging against your rib cage as you overthink the encounter.

He was just doing it to be nice right?

You hesitantly reach for his hand before changing your mind. He glances at you with searing red eyes offering you his open palm.

"Where to next?" He asks, you stare at the invitation, frozen for a moment before you grab onto him with a strong hold.

"This way!" You smile taking him and Neko-chan in tow. You lead him to the small arcade challanging him to see who can win the most in street fighter.

He somehow kicks your ass by one match and you smile at this genuine excitement for victory. He catches you staring as you blush, nuzzling half of your face into Neko-chan's fur, making your eyes seem larger and doe like.

Katsuki swallows, more blush dusting his cheeks as he asks is a gruff tone.

"Whatchya starin at?" You giggle in response.

"Nothing!" You fight another giggle, arms tightening around black fur, "I just like your real smile is all."

He sucks his teeth and looks away not trusting himself to ignore the urge to shove that damn plush out of the way to see the smile you're hiding behind it, or to keep himself from kissing those lips that are curled up.

"I'll be right back." He leans in close to you with nothing separating you two but Neko-chan, "Try not to let anyone else hit on ya kay?"

"K...kay." He's pretty sure that's the first time you've stumbled over your words, positive that's the first time he's seen your cheeks so red.

On the way back from the bathroom he spies two little necklaces in the display case of prizes. One is a purple N64 console and the other is the matching controller. He likes the idea of them around your neck thanks to him and taps the counter with his freshly won 10,000 yen tapping at the set.

He produces the two small chains and watches as your eyes light up.

"Aaahhh!" You say separating the two as you slide the N64 console around your neck, holding out the controller to him. He frowns as he glares at it.

"You're supposed to wear both." He growls, though his grimace fades with every second you stare at him.

"No silly they are best friend necklaces!!!" You half sequal as you shove it over his neck. You tuck it beneath his black skull shirt, "See now it's our secret."

You smile a devilish smirk before you glance at the time on the analog clock behind him. You grab onto his hand with a death grip.

"Katsuki come on we are gonna miss it!" You whine as you drag him back into the busy street further and further through the festival until the people are so few and far between he wonders where you're taking him.

That is until his smells the tang of salted air brought in by what is normally a refreshing breeze that feels chilled from the changing seasons.

You rush him to the sand, breathing in the heavily summer scent, kicking off your shoes to feel the once warmed sand.

"Come on Katsuki-kun come on!" You urge as he fights with his own shoes willing to follow you to the ends of the Earth and it feels that way where you're taking him. Past a small bonfire to a secluded part of the beach where the moon hangs high over the ocean.

One can see all of the stars in the universe there in that little spot, his eyes look up drinking it all in before looking at an even more beautiful sight.

His heart skips a beat as your eyes dance in the starlight, cheeks now moon kissed and hair ruffled from the wind off the ocean, you close your eyes for just a moment to breath it all in.

The last bit of summer that you can smell before it all begins to disappear into sharper, more crisp smells.

He's close enough to you that he can smell the salt and sugar clinging to your skin, to your lips. He sighs, content for once in his life. Then the stars begin to fall in the deep reflection of your eyes.

"Katsu look!" You whisper shout and he follows your gaze to watch the sky fall.

"Make a wish make a wish!" You urge again and he silently prays that this moment will never end.

But sadly it does, as quickly as it came it went and your crest fallen face has his heart jumping into his throat. He attempts to swallow it down.

"Something wrong?" He asks so softly you wonder if it is still Bakugou sitting next to you and that one little question causes the tears to spill.

Yes something was wrong, terribly wrong.

"Oi..." He pulls you to him shielding your tears from the world as his hand subconsciously trailed up and down your spine, "Why are you crying? Are you not enjoying the last bit of summer?"

"That's it Katsu that's the problem. S..sum..." You choke on your tears before continuing, "Summer is ending and before you know it, it will be winter again. And then a new year and then summer will have flown by faster and faster until the next thing you know my whole life has slipped through my fingers. And I will be left feeling as if I missed all of it. Just like I am now, like I always do."

You fist his shirt as you cry, let it all out all the horrible thoughts of your life going by in the blink of an eye, as every new winter brings you more and more unhappiness and you are unsure why.

You only find solace in summer as things seem to slow down. When the days are stretched deep into the evening and each hour is blessed with such happy memories. Times of you with your N64, of you spending many hours outside baking in the heat of the sun, of miserable days when even the icecream is happy to melt. And especially this summer, *this* night that you've spent with Katsuki.

Memories you can never replace and pray

Hope and plead to any Kamisama who is listening that they will never allow you to forget.

"Hey it's all right." He soothes, "We can come back to this festival every year to help say good bye."

You hiccup, your tears slowing.

"And if that doesn't work I'll lasso the fucking sun for you. I'll be your summer incarnate. I'll do anything, *anything* to keep my girl smiling. To keep you smiling. All you have to do is fucking name it."

You blink away the tears as you stare up into his face and you can tell he's serious that he means it. Red fireworks erupt over head, lighting his eyes with an undying fire and you kiss him. Kiss him how you wanted to all summer. Slow burn that quickly ignites as your hands grab onto one another. Each fire work encouraging deeper and deeper kisses until you pull away. Almost gasping for breath. Your skin feeling heated as it does when you lie out in the sun too long. You hold his gaze, heart fluttering, eyes pricking with tears once more.

"Then lasso me the fucking sun, Katsuki."

periods w/ nct 127

taeil:

- ah, our king.

- definitely the type to give you your space unless you asked otherwise.

- not because he’s trying to be mean, he just doesn’t want to do anything to irritate you.

- but if you tell him you need him, be prepared to be pampered.

- he’ll do anything to make you laugh.

- pulls out his funniest jokes and dances

- cuddles you to the point of suffocation because he knows no number other than 100 percent.

- gives the best belly rubs.

- sweet and long kisses to distract you from the pain.

- guaranteed to sing his part in purple to you because...it’s legendary and you both know it.

- “i love you my baby.”

- doesn’t let go of you even after you fall asleep.

- I believe that during these times he’d take a good look at you and see how much he loves you, and loves being with you like this.

-will get a lil emotional seeing you clinging to him.

[[MORE]]

johnny:

- asks if there’s anything you need first and foremost.

- has zero embarrassment going to get you anything you ask for.

- always comes back with chocolate whether it helps you or not.

- when he returns, cuddles cuddles and more cuddles.

- i believe he’s the type to try to talk you out of your pain, so expect some deep conversation.

- “so like...let’s read up on the creator of frozen yogurt?”

- “yes.”

- also gives you hella kisses.

- “let’s sleep. you’ll feel better when you wake up.”

- when you wake up, you do indeed feel better, so you and johnny decide to go in the kitchen to make dinner together.

- johnny burned himself and now you have to take care of him.

- not that you mind because???? that’s your whole heart.

taeyong:

- confused in the cutest way.

- he understands periods, he just doesn’t understand how to cheer you up through the pain.

- 100% asks his sister for help.

- she explains to him that the best thing to do is just ask you what you need.

- “what can I do, baby?”

- you simply pucker your lips, inviting him in.

- how could he deny you?

- in between kisses, you whisper something about wanting him to cook you something good.

- “anything for my girl.” he chuckled before going to the kitchen and getting to work.

- cooks everything with so much love omg.

- doesn’t let you help at all even though you beg him to.

- hits you (lightly) with the spatula if you don’t listen.

- “please?”

- “no.”

- 5 minutes later...

- “please?”

- “no.”

- feeds you even though you tell him you don’t need him to.

- “let me take care of you just for this one day. you’re always taking care of me.”

doyoung:

- the two of you have always had a playful relationship, so it was weird to see you moping around the house when you had your period for the first time around him.

-but he also enjoys it because he can baby you to the fullest.

- “let me walk you to the bathroom.”

- “no, let me do it.”

- “don’t move a muscle.”

- “are you cold?”

- “do you want me to cook you something?”

- also clowns you.

-“your head is still hurting?” he questioned with concern. “is that why it’s grown so damn much in the last hour?”

- he’s already prepped himself for all the pillows you were gonna throw at him so he’s immune.

- any other time you’re always all over him simply to get on his nerves, so now it’s payback time.

- except he realizes you’re enjoying all of his fat kisses and wet spots on your face.

- another member who gives you the most amazing belly/back rubs.

- after the fun, the two of you always end up laying with your back to him, his head tucked between your shoulder while he rubs your stomach and whispers sweet nothings.

jaehyun:

- the calmest one.

- on the outside.

- will always try to be very chill about it.

- casually brings you chocolate, but after that becomes distant by accident.

- “why don’t you love me anymore?”

- he’s so confused.

- “i figured you didn’t want company.”

- you have to climb on top of him for him to understand you will not punch him in the face if he attempts to touch you.

- as soon as the gets the okay he won’t let you go.

- will try to talk to you about his week to make you feel better.

- definitely orders food.

- always a chill day for the two of you.

yuta:

- so cheerful and it doesn’t even anger you.

- calls you about 30 different pet names to cheer you up.

- doesn’t leave you alone.

- watching movies and eating everything you shouldn’t be all day.

- every time you hiss from a shock of pain he looks at you with so much concern.

- caresses your stomach softly while staring at you.

- 100% talks to your stomach and tell it to give you a break.

-“i understand you have a job to do, but I’d really appreciate it if you give it a rest so I can have my girlfriend back.”

- seeing you like this honestly makes his heart soar because although you’re in pain you’re clinging to him so much and are accepting all of his love and kisses uwu.

winwin:

- sweet boy :((((

- your cramps are always really bad, but this was the first time winwin was here to see it for himself.

- he can’t feel your pain, but his heart still hurts.

- if you’re in pain, it makes him sad.

- wants to fight your stomach.

“come here.” the two of you just stand there hugging, with him rubbing your back and pressing kisses to your forehead.

leaves to put a slow song on, and dances with you in the middle of the living room.

the two of you stay like that for a while, you listening to him breathe to distract you from the agony.

“you always know how to make me feel better.”

“well that’s my job.” he said simply, twirling you around before pressing a kiss to your lips. “now let’s go to bed.”

jungwoo:

- similar to taeil in the sense that he lets you decide what you want him to do.

- if you don’t want to be bothered, he’ll be sad but he’ll give you your space.

- in what world do we deny jungwoo though?

- never.

- he’s always soft, but he’s especially soft on days like these.

- will literally give you anything you want.

- tells you he loves you 100 times in the same day and you don’t mind at all.

- takes this time to confess all of his mushy feelings towards you as well.

- “i don’t know what I would do without you.”

- “you’re my world.”

mark:

- oh boy.

- mark is going to try his hardest to do this right.

- “is there anything I can do to make it go away?”

- obviously cuddles and kisses will have to do.

- now the two of you are in your bed, just staring up at the ceiling,

- science 101 ft mark.

- “so like...how does this work?”

- now you’re laughing, because this shit is too funny.

- “i’m serious y/n. something drops and all of a sudden blood everywhere? and where do cramps even come from?”

- you explain everything to him and he just stares at you in confusion.

- “who came up with that??? and I’m so sorry?? you’re so strong?” he sounds so distressed.

-“just rub by tummy babe I’ll survive.”

- he’s still going to be very sweet after, rubbing your back softly.

haechan:

- goofiest relationship of all time.

- your period doesn’t stop the party.

- if anything it forces the two of you to be more silly to help you forget the feeling of being stabbed.

- guaranteed to have a michael jackson battle.

- moonwalking throughout your apartment.

“HEE HEE!”

- “won’t stop til’ i get enough.”

-“ha..”

- that was awful so sorry.

- “let’s build a fort.”

- you grab all your materials, and neither of you leave the fort unless you have to pee.

- y’all have the laptop on deck and Netflix is ready for y’all.

- paid attention to the movie for about 2 minutes.

-now there’s no space in between you two and the two of you are just whispering sweet nothings while sharing sweet kisses until the other falls asleep.

- you honestly will forget you’re on.

Ohhh boy... -cracks knuckles- Let’s do this, shall we?

30. HIS DESTRUCTO DISC WAS THE STRONGEST KI ATTACK IN THE SERIES How does that not make sense? You’re starting your list off by not even framing your complaints correctly, as your beef isn’t the attack’s power, but that it’s underused. But even that’s explained. In short, the Kienzan takes up a LOT of energy. To form, to get it spinning fast enough, to throw, takes a bit out of the user. It’s also got several drawbacks, including, but not limited to, being quite loud. People can hear it coming and adjust accordingly. One can make a slightly weaker version they can steer, but that reduces its effectiveness.  Really, the Kienzan is only feasible in certain scenarios, at least until Krillin managed to gain the ability to control it without sacrificing power. 29. HE THOUGHT ANDROID 18 WAS DATING HER TWIN BROTHER Uh... ok? I mean I’m not sure how that ‘makes no sense’ but yeah, he made a mistake. Whoops? 28. HIS BODY MEASUREMENTS Bear in mind a few things here. Namely, that while Toriyama does depict these characters as “muscular”, it’s also lean. So the idea he should be ridiculously jacked is also a bit off. I believe the weight estimate also originally came back when the “Z” arcs started, so there’s that. Otherwise, this is probably one of the only legitimate points on this list. 27. THE REASON WHY HE SHAVES HIS HEAD ...again, how does this make no sense? He shaves his head as a sign of dedication to his practice of the martial arts and because he was taught it aided in the flow of ki in one’s body. That’s explained full well. Just because he ASSUMED Roshi shaved his head doesn’t make this not make sense. 26. HIS ABILITY TO BREAK THE FOURTH WALL It’s a comedy manga at heart. There’s jokes like this throughout. In Goku’s rematch with Yamcha, Goku hits him so hard that he actually breaks one of the borders between the panels and bounces off of it. It’s a thing in the series. Also, Idk why you’re referencing movies when they’re clearly not part of Toriyama’s continuity, but I’m reasonably certain that “lasted a season” was meant in terms of time passed, not “seasons” of a show. Especially as DB never had “seasons”. 25. HE NEVER TRAINED WITH WITH KING KAI Now this is what annoys me about this article. Y’all will take the anime and even movies into account when making this list... and yet with this complaint, you even have a screenshot of where he trained with King Kai in the anime. Yet you say he didn’t do it. Also, “with all the time he spends in the afterlife”? lol really?  24. HIS HEAD DOTS You... you literally explain this in full. How is this something that makes no sense? Literally how? 23. HIS REDUCED FIGHTING PRESENCE IN THE CELL AND BUU SAGAS Again, you explain this in the first paragraph of this entry. Yet you also talk about his activities in both arcs. So... how does this not make sense other than the fact that complaining about it makes no sense? I mean he still has a role, it’s just primarily non-combat. He carried the meat of the story in the Cell arc. 22. HIS BIZARRE CHILDHOOD "A lot of the pasts and families of Dragon Ball’s characters have been shown before (including Frieza's), but Krillin’s remains a mystery.“ Actually, no. They’re not. By and large, we learn very little about the pasts of any of these characters. We have only the vaguest details about anyone not Goku, Vegeta, Piccolo, or Bulma, discounting the people we actually see born during the series. Kami’s past, even his name, is a complete mystery. Tien? No one knows his background outside being taken in by the Crane Hermit and training alongside Chiaotzu. This is not uncommon. But we actually do know a bit more about Krillin’s past in that he was raised at Orin, and he was abused. Daily. Frequently. It left him with a complex that lasted well into his adult life. He ran away one day in tears, determined he was gonna prove he wasn’t weak or worthless someday. That’s a good sight more than we’d gotten about most characters til recently. 21. HE NEARLY BECAME AN ANDROID You guys are reaching into arcade path endings from video games. Why am I not surprised? 20. HOW HE DEFEATED GOHAN DURING TOURNAMENT OF POWER PREP This is easily one of the worst offenders on this entire list if only because this is very, very easily explained. Hell, it was the point of them doing it. Gohan was operating with the wrong perspective, that Krillin going one on one vs a powerful opponent would, by necessity, be outclassed and overpowered and thus couldn’t be an asset. He was also under the assumption Krillin had gotten much weaker, unaware he was stronger than ever. Couple these things with both the fact that Gohan himself wasn’t near as strong as he used to be, and Krillin simply out-planning Gohan and beating him by using the rules of the arena against him vs trying to actually overpower him, and Gohan losing there makes perfect sense. Krillin simply overwhelmed all his senses, dropped out of sight and detection, and then simply knocked Gohan off-balance and shoved him out of bounds. Simple. Literally nothing hard to understand about that. 19. HE’S THE FIRST PERSON FROM UNIVERSE 7 TO LOSE IN THE TOURNAMENT OF POWER He’s the first one out because he actually ditched the safety of the group strategy and rushes out to rescue his wife, who was nearly eliminated first herself. He then teamed up with her for a bit and even took out a particularly skilled enemy himself by using his head. Then he was tripped out of bounds because he was distracted by (sadly) rare praise. It happens and it’s not indicative of “strength” or “power” at all. 18. HIS BATTLE STRATEGY AGAINST FRIEZA'S SECOND FORM Lord, here we go. Imma say this again: The Kienzan takes a LOT of energy to form and use. Krillin had just thrown like, twenty of them in a row and then had to run at top speed. The odds of him being able to produce a Kienzan in time are slim to none This is why, upon blinding Freeza, he was yelling for Vegeta (who was still FRESH, mind you) to attack Freeza now. But Vegeta was too paralyzed with shock and fear to act. I’d also like to point out that blinding Freeza wouldn’t have been super effective with an attack that Freeza could easily HEAR coming. He heard it at the last minute even over Gohan’s screams of agony, pretty sure he’d have heard it off to the side where it was just them too. 17. HE LEAVES HIS DAUGHTER IN THE CARE OF KIDS Yes. Apprehensively. At the insistence of his wife, who assured him she’d be ok and could take care of herself. Y’all really tried to use this to imply he’s a bad dad, wow. 16. HIS REGRESSIVE PTSD IN THE FOREST OF TERROR I’m not sure if I’m happy someone finally admitted it’s PTSD (#DragonBallAintDeepBro) or pissed off someone called this “regressive”. Wait no, I know exactly what I am, and frankly... WTF is wrong with you? How on God’s green earth is that Regressive? Are you, by the body of this entry, implying PTSD is a thing that exclusively happens to people who aren’t strong or “strong enough”? Either way, you missed the entire point of the episode, which you simultaneously admit was good character development. A development arc hinted at since the Buu arc really, but really kickstarted back in the BoG arc. The Forest of Terror was never about just strength or ability. Truly, the enemies seen there were only as strong or weak as Krillin empowered them to be by his fear and the ki he poured into them as a result. The point is they were a personification of Krillin’s own fears. His self-doubt and self-loathing. The condition was slowly killing him, his confidence was next to nothing, and it was affecting his life. His job. His family. It’s why 18 gave him the kick in the butt to start training again, to try to regain some of his confidence. It’s why Roshi sent them there; he saw the lack of confidence in the man. He saw his student in anguish, hating himself for not being more than what he was, but also fully believing he never could be. That he just wasn’t good enough. It’s why, even when facing enemies that his rational mind KNEW were weaker than himself, to say nothing of dead, he still panicked. His PTSD was triggered, vivid memories of what they’d done to him, the pain he suffered, came rushing back. And removing it was what finally allowed him to reach into his truest potential, and become even stronger than he’d ever been before. I also love the realistic way the series handled the condition, in that even as he tries to improve himself, he still has moments where it starts to kick in and he has to fight it off, will himself not to lose it. His wife knows it too and takes extra care (for the most part) to not let him slip back into it. But he refuses to allow it to control him anymore. How the hell that’s somehow a negative, let alone something that “doesn’t make sense”, is a mystery to me. 15. HIS "FULL POTENTIAL" THAT THE GRAND ELDER NAMEKIAN GURU UNLOCKED How is this really confusing? It simply allows him to tap into potential, power, that was blocked off. There are many factors that can contribute to it, be it limitations on time, plateaus, mental blocks, etc. The Grand Elder removed those and awaken that potential. It’s why Gohan and Krillin started to make the gains that they did at the rate they did, going from only about as strong as Goku had been on Earth to strong enough to help Vegeta overpower and potentially kill Freeza in his first form. 14. HIS YOUNGER CHARACTER TRAITS Y-you do realize you’re literally complaining about character development... right? Krillin grew up in an abusive environment where he felt he could trust no one, everyone was out for themselves, and that he had to do whatever it took to get ahead and be accepted as one of Roshi’s pupils so he had a chance to be... anybody, really. And yes, over time, between the influences of his friends and general maturing and growing up, he became a very kind, compassionate, and caring individual and a true friend. THAT’S. CHARACTER. DEVELOPMENT. And to present these traits as a “mistake” is to somehow suggest they came later. They were his original traits. 13. HIS BULLET INJURIES DURING HIS POLICE JOB Literally explained in Resurrection F, both the arc and the movie. Emptying one’s body of ki leaves it vulnerable. It should be his instinct to do so right away, but he doesn’t. He’s becoming careless and distracted. It’s part of his PTSD. Hell, Goku’s clearly not getting “that weak” and yet he also  got lightly bruised by a bullet because he didn’t keep his energy up, a sign he was falling out of practice due to his inability to find a training partner, or to leave to a place that would really push him in his training due to work. Also, if one being vulnerable to gunfire means they shouldn’t be a police officer, or any like job where there might be danger... well...  That’s dumb, my friend. 12. HE CAN PERFORM THE SPIRIT BOMB AND KAIO-KEN ATTACK Stop using video games to pad your list! SERIOUSLY! And how does “performing the Spirit Bomb” make no sense? Goku and King Kai both instructed him how to do it, and Krillin’s always been especially gifted at both energy manipulation and learning on the fly. Besides, it’s not as if he knows how to summon said energy himself, just wield and form it. 11. HIS ROMANTIC NATURE NEARLY DESTROYED THE EARTH Hot Take Time: Krillin’s decision not to kill 18 stemmed from general compassion, not just the fact that she kissed him, and his decision would have had NO impact on Cell had Vegeta followed through, done what he was supposed to, and killed Cell. Even if Vegeta, by some bizarre chance, failed? Trunks was there, and just as powerful. There were two people there capable of killing Cell. No, what nearly destroyed the Earth was Vegeta’s VERY conscious decision to actually HELP Cell reach his Perfect Form, something Krillin never imagined Vegeta would be stupid and selfish enough to do. And even then, Krillin told her to get lost and hide, and even offered to help her move 16 so she could. 10. HIS EARLY DISMISSAL IN FORTUNETELLER BABA'S TOURNAMENT ...IT’S A COMEDY AND HE GOT HIS WHOLE HEAD BIT INTO BY A VAMPIRE, WHAT’S HARD TO UNDERSTAND? FFS He’s still weaker than even Yamcha at that point. His quick thinking is also all that saved Yamcha’s ass from getting whupped into submission. 9. HE PASSES AWAY THE MOST... EVEN THOUGH HE’S EARTH’S STRONGEST HUMAN Oh lord here we go... a. He wasn’t at the time of his first death. b. That kinda doesn’t mean much when you have to fight an alien lizard or ancient demon who could dust you with their pinky. This only makes no sense if you utterly ignore any and all context. Vegeta, for example, has actually died just as many times as Krillin now (Freeza, Buu, Freeza again)... and he’s the second strongest in the roster. Goku has also technically “died” just as many times now too (Piccolo, Cell, Hit), as well as Piccolo (Nappa, Buu, Freeza).  Mr. Satan and Bulma have died the least of anyone. Hardly an indicator of power. 8. HE LIVED WITH HIS FAMILY AND MASTER ROSHI IN THE KAME HOUSE It’s housed Roshi, Oolong, Krillin, Goku, Yamcha, Umigame AND Launch in the past. Housing Krillin, 18, a baby/toddler, and Roshi is hardly filled to capacity. That said... they move. They move as soon as they can afford their own home, which is shortly after 18 gets her fall money from Mr. Satan. 7. HIS FUSION WITH PICCOLO I’d just like to state for the record that this is literally complaining about a fun drawing Toriyama did of what Krillin and Piccolo would look like Fused. That is all. 6. HE CAN ABSORB SPIRIT BOMBS AND USE THEIR ENERGY Aaand we’re back to video games. 5. HE’S THE STRONGEST HUMAN ON EARTH Ok now this one? This one is utter BS. Krillin outpacing Tien makes perfect sense since it’s been happening since Tien first appeared. When everyone came back for the 23rd Budokai? The gap between those two shrunk. A lot. Krillin had not only taught HIMSELF how to fly, how to steer energy after firing it, and more, but he’d improved to the point of Piccolo not only using his true power to beat him, but he managed to survive a blow Piccolo assumed HAD to have killed him... and made Piccolo question whether or not he was even strong enough to conquer this world even if he DID beat Goku. When the Saiyans came? Even smaller gap with the exact same time to train. And Tien even had the benefit of having Chiaotzu as a partner, Krillin was off finishing his training solo. And the Grand Elder awakening his dormant potential, as well as the combat experience on Namek, finally sealed the deal. After all, Yamcha was still intently training at that time too, and Krillin surpassed him. Why then is it so hard to believe he could surpass Tien? It also doesn’t help that Tien doesn’t actually train nonstop, despite what anime filler would have you believe. He runs a dojo and a farm to boot. Tien is also demonstrably still weaker than Krillin in Super and lasts longer in the Tournament because he and Roshi are taking cover and surprising targets to knock them out while they’re off-guard. So there’s that. 4. HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE EXCITING FOIL TO BORING GOKU He was created as a rival character to play off Goku and give Goku something to measure himself against. That doesn’t exactly mean he’s meant to be “more exciting”, but to bring an element of entertainment to the series that had been missing, as well as give Goku someone his own age to grow with. Nice dig at the character at the end though. Top notch. 3. HE NAMES HIS DAUGHTER AFTER HIS EX-GIRLFRIEND For the last time: Maron. Is. A. Filler. Character. Toriyama did not create her. Toriyama did not name her. Toriyama named Krillin’s daughter “Marron” because it’s French for “Chestnut”, which is a play on the fact that the first syllable in Krillin’s Japanese name, “Kuri”, also means chestnut. It’s not at ALL indicative of “lingering feelings” for a character that Toriyama didn’t even make, let alone doesn’t appear in his manga or continuity at all. 2. HE NEARLY ALLOWS VEGETA TO GAIN IMMORTALITY Well, it was more or less that or let the kid he’d sworn he’d keep safe die. I don’t really blame him for at least entertaining the idea at that point. An ultimately bad idea? Yeah. But one born of desperation. Hardly the first for characters in this series. And finally... 1. HIS MISSING NOSE ...wow. It’s... it’s a physical deformity. I’m not sure what about that doesn’t make sense? This list was even more of a dumpster fire than usual.

Remus Lupin and the Prisoner of Azkaban--- Chapter 34: Recovering From Recovery

Ao3 link

Chapter 1 / Chapter 2 / Chapter 3 / Chapter 4 / Chapter 5 / Chapter 6 / Chapter 7 / Chapter 8 / Chapter 9 / Chapter 10 / Chapter 11 / Chapter 12 / Chapter 13 / Chapter 14 / Chapter 15 / Chapter 16 / Chapter 17 / Chapter 18 / Chapter 19 / Chapter 20 / Chapter 21 / Chapter 22 / Chapter 23 / Chapter 24 / Chapter 25 / Chapter 26 / Chapter 27 / Chapter 28 / Chapter 29 / Chapter 30 / Chapter 31 / Chapter 32 / Chapter 33 / Chapter 34

(Warning: another graphic description of the Change)

True to his word, he sheepishly made his way to the Hospital Wing after dinner, with more difficulty than it really should have taken which only drove home the fact that she was right and he was wrong, yes, thank you, he got the point.

Luckily, Poppy reported that Severus had agreed to bring the Relaxation Draught along with that day’s Wolfsbane potion, which, at least, relieved the worry that he would have to approach Severus in his own territory. Which was something that he had often made Remus do, claiming to have too much work to make a delivery--which may or may not have been true, though the truth was, not much could make an interaction with the man pleasant. It was just that, this month, he wasn’t sure his knees and flagging energy could make repeated journeys into the dungeon. After a quick once over, a vile tasting green potion for inflammation, and a short lecture that was full of words like ‘irresponsible’ and ‘function’ and ‘idiot boy’, he was released to ‘sleep, dammit.’ Which--to his credit, he thought--he obediently did.

Unfortunately, it didn’t help as much as it ought. The morning of the full moon dawned bitterly cold and merciless and it didn’t improve as the day wore on, nettling his joints with tiny glass needles that, when they weren’t stabbing, crumbled into some grating gravel that seemed to get stuck in the cracks and throb like nasty little embers. Grading was listless work, wrapped in his blanket at his desk and he often came back to himself staring out the window or into the flames in his fireplace while his hands resonated with a dull ache holding his quill. There wasn’t really an emotion that he could assign himself past ‘tired.’ Sleep was calling him but he knew this feeling, knew the muzzy twinge behind his eyes would grow into a pounding fog that would blur his thoughts for the rest of the day, rendering him utterly useless. He sighed and flexed his fingers, wincing as at least 7 different joints popped and pushed back from his desk. The intention had been to stand, but, instead, he sank further down into the blanket like some sort of turtle and found that, at present, he lacked any sort of motivation to go anywhere at all. He knew this was lazy and that he should be working. This knowledge bounced off him like a defective bludger.

A sharp rap came from the door. For a fleeting moment, he considered not answering, but, instead, straightened up with a more impressive crack from his spine, tried to look responsible--or at least awake--and called, “Come in.”

Snape opened the door, sour look evolving into a sneer when he saw him bundled up. “Aren’t we cozy.”

“Good afternoon, Severus.”

“I see you can’t be bothered to move yourself and that you need things handed to you like a child,” he continued as if Remus hadn’t spoken and thunked a goblet and a small corked vial on top of the stack of parchments. A small slosh of potion dribbled down the side and seeped into the essay on top.

For a moment, Remus simply looked at him blandly. Then, he said, “Yes.”

Snape scowled. “What?”

“Yes, you’re right. That’s what I’m doing.”

His scowl deepened in irritation, but he seemed unprepared for such a response. Instead, he shot a contemptuous glance around the room, tutted as if disgusted and stalked out. Well, you live in a dungeon so I’m not sure what you’re criticizing, his internal James voice muttered, which he ignored and set about to cleaning off the essay, belonging to Cho Chang. Unfortunately, he was able to take the liquid out but unable to repair the blotted ink. Scrawling a quick apology and an assurance that he could still read it on the bottom of her page, he reflected that he was lucky that what seemed the most effective course of action to ruin Snape’s fun and encourage him to leave was also the one the required the least amount of effort on his part; he would have to remember that one. 

The Wolfsbane was absolutely repulsive, as usual, and he counted his lucky stars that Poppy’s anti-nausea serum worked so well or else he felt he would never be able to keep it down. After a few minutes, he also downed the clear vial Severus had left, hoping in a vague way that it was the Relaxation Draught and that the intent was for him to drink the whole thing and Severus had not conveniently forgotten to mention some sort of dosage size. It felt oddly...gelatinous and carried a strong taste of licorice, that meshed unfortunately with the meat-and-garbage flavor of the Wolfsbane. Successfully motivated, he rose and made his way back to his bedroom to hurriedly knock back another dose of said anti-nausea to head off the growing feelings of unease that were beginning to roil in his stomach, just in case. He doubted either potion would be effective if they came back up.

For a moment, it occurred to him to worry about possible interactions between all these potions, but then, a curious sensation began seeping through him, as if his shoulders dropped 2 inches, tension melting from his scalp and jaw, his neck, his spine. It was like a warm honey was slowly being poured over him. It was enough to make him sit heavily on his bed, glad he hadn’t been in the middle of actually going somewhere when it hit, for now he felt distinctly boneless and almost forcibly relaxed. In fact, the weariness that had permeated him all day now had no tension to battle against and suggested, quite reasonably, that perhaps it was easier to lay back instead of struggling to stay upright. Remus supposed this was true and sank back. He thought mournfully about the blanket he had left on his chair….

A sharp, vicious, and unpleasantly familiar stab in his stomach bolted him upright with a hiss of pain. Darkness lay over the room. For a moment, bewilderment gave him a distinctly displaced feeling, as if he had slipped out of time with no anchor as to when he popped back up. A small, but growing wave of panic was building deep within him; what time was it? When was moonrise? He began to fumble for his watch when another searing wrench doubled him over, leaving him gasping. Now. It’s NOW.

Lurching to his feet, he made for the door--don’t want to Change in here, it’s small, a safe place, a resting place--but the combination of pain and Relaxation Draught brought him to his knees, permanently. Something snapped, muted, wet. His breath was coming fast and harsh. It was like some sort of unrest before the storm, the beast within him unsure what this new, unfamiliar lack of tension was. Testing the waters. Then, the agony seized him, crushing and flaying and burning mindlessly. But slowly. Where each rip was usually sharp, it was now a long, languid tear, each bone bending, splintering, cracking before the break. A slow torture. Don’t scream, didn’t ward door, don’t-- Teeth clamped, viselike. Throat shredding. Copper on the tongue.

There was a pressure, a pulling. Everywhere clothes touched seared like acid. Insides liquifying. Endless. No sight. Was there screaming? Can’t hear. Twisting, gouging, peeling.. No floor, no anchor, just pain. Forever….

Flamed out eternity later, shuddering on the floor. Tangled in clothes misshapen, squeezing, half shredded. Panting, he unsteadily gathered his legs under him, splayed wide like a colt learning to walk. Still throbbed; it always did. Just when it began to fade, dawn would come...but long way away, now. Headache was still there. He had never been surprised like that; it was unbalancing, unsettling--he hated it. He shook himself ineffectively, pawed and wiggled and stretched and twisted until the clothes--or remains of them--were on the floor and not him. This induced relaxation was pairing with the after-Change ache and exhaustion like a particularly nasty wine; It was all he could do to clamber up onto the bed, collapse diagonally, ears laid flat. He couldn’t go out into the office, he wouldn’t. There had been no time to lock and ward the door and he was not safe, he was never safe, he was the monster and the rest of the castle was beyond that door, everyone he loved anymore. 2 doors would have to do. Exhaustion weighed down his edges and sleep did the rest.

As he lay curled up in the weak dawn light and wheezing after the pain Change back smacked him from unconsciousness for the second time in 24 hours was receding, Poppy slowly opened the door to his bedroom, looking white and shaken. More important than a greeting, something else had to come first. “We’re not doing that again, Poppy,” he slurred wearily.

She was silent a moment before saying, quietly, “Alright, Remus.”

There was a pause, as if she expected him to respond or elaborate but he was utterly wrung out, nothing but pain and breath strung tenuously together. “It’s much later than it should be,” she said just as softly as before. “I came to see how you faired with the new regimen and when I came in while you still were….” Trailing off, her mouth grew quite thin and she stared at a spot to the left of him, sightlessly. “I waited out in your office, til it was...quiet....I don’t think any of us actually can grasp what you go through, now, after seeing you Change. I don’t think we understand at all.” She paused again, for just a moment, watching him but he could offer nothing in response.

Moving measuredly, she sat next to him, feather-light touches briefly prodding, shifting, checking. It still hurt, but he would never let her know that. She smelled like soap and something warm. “It must have been the Relaxation Draught, maybe paired with your own overwork, but you should have been Changed back half an hour ago. Did it take you this long to Change last night?”

Remus made a vague, hoarse sound he hoped she took for affirmation.

“That must have been it--hsst,” she drew in a sharp breath through her teeth, gently pulling his right forearm out to see. It was smeared a brown-rust, an irregular crescent splitting the skin. The tang of it still lingered in his mouth and he grimaced.

Poppy cleaned it and his arm with a wordless spell and wrapped it with clean gauze produced from one of her many pockets, muttering “I hate that I can’t heal werewolf wounds. I hate it. What good is magic if it can’t help everybody?” She finished with a sigh, retrieved his pillow and tucked it beneath his head, and summoned his blanket from the office chair to drape over him. “Sleep now, love.”

“Been sleeping,” he mumbled.

“Probably because you needed it. I’ll let Dumbledore know to find someone to cover your classes.”

“No, I--” he tried to sit up, but only managed to twist his shoulders uncomfortably, to which Poppy only tucked him in more firmly.

“Rest. Remus.”

Despite the warning in her voice, he felt a hand stroke his hair. Everything, including his scalp, still hurt as if it had been unzipped and dragged through a ringer, but the brush of her hand rolled a wave of relaxation through him nonetheless, some sort of childhood response of soothing. It had been more than a decade since anyone had done so--had it been his mother? Da? Before the War, then. Despite every hair follicle complaining, his eyelids drooped lower with each smoothing motion until sleep, the hungry beast that it was, swallowed him.

It had taken him a full 2 days and a Pepper Up potion to recover and return to a somewhat regular sleep schedule, just in time for another boggart lesson with Harry. As much as he hated to laze about in bed, he was grateful for the respite for it allowed him to actually function as a human adult. Well...not human, but as near as he could manage. It had taken him a full day to actually leave bed, and when he had, he noticed there was a light layer of wolf fur dusted across the sheets from where he had lain during the Change. Repulsed, he’d used his new, unsteady energy to tear them from his bed and stuff them in the trash. When he had returned from breakfast, they were gone, fresh, dark green sheets tucked neatly in. It was not often that he thought of how much House Elves did around the castle, but that day, he made sure to make his way down to the kitchens and drop a quick word of thanks that they graciously rejected as just doing their duty. He resolved to do so more often.

Physically, he was on the mend. His headache had persisted, a low-grade angry cotton feeling, but it wasn’t too bad, comparatively, though his recovery time was not at all what he had come to expect from the Wolfsbane potion. Both Poppy and he had firmly agreed that the Draught had been a mistake, one they would not repeat. It had been a more physically and mentally jarring Change than he had had in a while and it had taken a lot more out of him than he had anticipated. Though he had been forced to admit that he hadn’t been taking care in how much he did and how close to the full moon he did it, he was anxiously waiting reentering castle life. Harry’s lesson was the first step.

The boy seemed a bit wary of him when he first walked in--probably still thinking of the sharp response to his question about Sirius, as he was--so Remus made sure to smile broadly at him, taking the chance to half-sit on a desk as Harry was, conserving what little energy he could. “Hello, Harry. How has your day treated you?”

The boy shrugged amiably, then stifled a yawn on the back of his arm, “Long. I’ve got Quidditch practice most days, so a lot in the evenings. Oliver’s running us ragged.”

“Aiming for the Cup, I take it?”

His face split into a grin, “Always.” Oddly, he glanced at Remus’ face a bit furtively, then down at the leg of the desk the boggart’s case rested on. “I, er, wanted to say sorry if I upset you, y’know, last week.”

Remus was already shaking his head. Kind boy. Relief and warm affection washed through him; all was not lost, despite all else, he hadn’t ruined their time together. “Think nothing of it, Harry. I’m sorry I got terse; it...surprised me and I was quite tired.”

“Me too...I wish I was learning faster,” he said, an irate look passing over his face.

Remus laughed. Lily had been the exact same way when she wasn’t a prodigy the first time she tried a spell, despite the reassurances that she was near the top of her class--though Harry didn’t hold that title, his drive was obviously just as keen. “I’ve told you, Harry, this is an incredibly advanced spell. If it makes you feel better, you’re catching on faster than I did when I first learned it.”

His looked up at him in surprise, dark eyebrows raising. “Really?”

“Yes, it took me weeks to produce anything at all, and that wasn’t even with the effects of the Dementors on me.”

Harry looked a bit heartened by the information. “Where did you learn it?”

“Oh,” Remus said airily, turning to unlock the case. “An old Auror friend. There were more Dementors, er, free range back then.”

“Oh,” Harry looked dubious. “That sounds horrible.”

“It wasn’t pleasant,” He admitted, then diverted, “Are you ready to start?”

Harry nodded, sliding off the desk and drawing his wand unprompted. “Yeah, I suppose we should. I’m ready.”

“I’ve brought plenty of chocolate frogs and another premium Honeyduke’s bar, so at least we have that to look forward to.”

The boy nodded again, steel already in his eyes as he held his arms up in a ready pose. “Alright.”

FROM AFAR - CHAPTER 16

Lauren (10:35 am): camz

Lauren (10:35 am): i need to talk to you

Lauren (10:35 am): you there?

Camila (10:46 am): hi

Camila (10:46 am): i just woke up

Lauren (10:46 am): lol

Lauren (10:46 am): you okay?

Camila (10:46 am): do you wanna come by before lunch?

Camila (10:46 am): yep

Camila (10:47 am): had a lot of dreams this night

Lauren (10:47 am): great

Lauren (10:47 am): i’m ready, i’ll come by

Lauren (12:47 pm): what were the dreams about? was it those scary stuff?

Lauren (12:50 pm): so, camz, you don’t have to answer now, you can reply after you leave your class no worries. What i wanted to talk about is, i know everything we had settled when we talked, but these days have been out of the ordinary, right, so i just wanted to say that if you think that i’m too close or anything, you can tell me. watching you suffer all of this is really hard for me and i wanted to be as close to you to help you with anything you need! then i just want you to tell me if i do anything that you’re not comfortable with, ok?

Lauren (12:50 pm): that’s it, because we talked and decided things and then it all changed

Camila (2:03 pm): you’re not, and i need you in this moment, i won’t be able to go through this alone, i’m still really scared with everything

Camila (2:04 pm): thanks for your friendship, i gave you a lot of work yesterday, you thank me every time but now is my turn

Camila (2:06 pm): i’m trying to get over that thing of being weird, i think it’s practically the same as before…. sure it’s not easy for me to be close to you and do all the stuff like before but knowing nothing will happen after, i’m not gonna say that it’s easy

Camila (2:06 pm): but i don’t want anything to change, and if i do anything that i said i wouldn’t please tell me

Camila (2:07 pm): and thank you really, i didn’t want to be going through this and it’s been really hard

Camila (2:07 pm): but it’s gonna be okay

Lauren (2:12 pm): no, you’re not doing anything wrong and i don’t feel you being weird, it’s not easy on me too because now more than ever i’m more confused, but time will help

Lauren (2:12 pm): and you don’t have to thank me for anything

Lauren (2:13 pm): i’ll always be here for you, that you can be sure

Lauren (2:13 pm): and it’s already getting better!!! your grandma will get better more and more each day!!!

Lauren (2:13 pm): she will be home soon, you’ll see

Lauren (2:13 pm): and she’ll come out of this even stronger

Lauren (2:13 pm): i can imagine how hard this must be, but i promise that i’m here for anything!!

Camila (2:14 pm): thank you thank you thank you

Camila (2:15 pm): and time will help you

Camila (2:15 pm): did the girls help you anyhow?

Camila (2:15 pm): when you talked?

Lauren (2:15 pm): now i want you to rest, tell your mom that you’re gonna sleep e forget your phone for a little bit

Lauren (2:15 pm): yeeesss, they helped me a lot

Camila (2:15 pm): she’s in the hospital

Camila (2:15 pm): it looks like nothing improved

Camila (2:15 pm): i’m exhausted

Camila (2:15 pm): physically and emotionally

Lauren (2:16 pm): well, now she’s stable and started to fight it, now it’ll only get better

Camila (2:16 pm): i was thinking about skipping class

Lauren (2:16 pm): i know! i can only imagine how this feels

Lauren (2:16 pm): that’s why i’m telling you to get some rest

Lauren (2:16 pm): if you need to skip class, do it, i’ll talk to the professor and explain everything

Camila (2:17 pm): yeah i could do that

Camila (2:17 pm): let’s wait and see in what state i’m gonna wake up

Camila (2:17 pm): knock here if you need anything

Lauren (2:17 pm): i gotchu

Camila (2:17 pm): and if you want to stay here when you get back that’s fine too

Camila (2:17 pm): i’ll just be asleep

Lauren (2:17 pm): mhmm

Lauren (2:17 pm): i’m gonna do my paper and keep you company

Lauren (2:17 pm): get some rest now camz

Lauren (2:17 pm): call me if you need anything

Lauren (2:17 pm): i’ll show up later

She really came by and did her stuff while I was deep in my much needed slumber. It was funny because Lauren was concerned about me and wanted to be there for me, but I knew that she needed it too. She had her own personal problems and struggles and she needed someone just as much as I needed it. We were helping each other without acknowledging it.

Camila (9:37 pm): wanna come here?

Lauren (9:40 pm): hmmmm let me think about it

Camila (9:46 pm): if you don’t wanna come then just don’t

Lauren (9:50 pm): wow someone is angry

Later that night Lauren came by again and we just watched Game of Thrones together in my bed. Halfway through it, my roommate arrived with a bunch of her friends. I didn’t mind having people around if they were at least polite while in my room (they were not). I had my friends over too so it was only fair for her to invite people. They were just talking about random things while me and Lauren were eavesdropping the whole conversation because, well, it was funny and they didn’t care about it. I was aware of my proximity to Lauren after all the things we had discussed about being too close and whatever, eventually sneaking caresses on her arm, but even though I was nervous about doing it, Lauren didn’t seem to mind either and we both could use some human affection during those atypical days.

My heart stopped beating though when my roomate particularly said something about hooking up with friends and losing a great friendship because of it. The timing couldn’t be more wrong for the whole situation to be happening. Lauren being in my room in that moment, our current friendship situation, Pam coming in right when Lauren was there, talking about this subject e especifically saying that it’s not worth it to get involved with a friend and messing with a friendship. That was exactly what was going through my mind but I had a different opinion on the matter. But I knew Lauren obviously thought about that too and I didn’t want that statement to have any influence on Lauren’s judgment, but it was too late for that now. Everything just got awkward. We didn’t even finished the episode because Lauren said she was sleepy and those fuckers were still there, so nothing would happen anyway, and the people in my room didn’t seem like they were going anywhere soon.

Lauren (2:00 am): camz i forgot to bring my laptop

Lauren (2:00 am): but i’ll get it tomorrow!

Lauren (2:00 am): just ask if you can turn the lights off

Lauren (2:00 am): otherwise they’ll stay there forever

Camila (2:01 am): i found out that they all hooked up

Lauren (2:01 am): that’s just delicious

Lauren (2:01 am): i’m going to dream about it now haha

Lauren (2:02 am): i’m going to bed now camz

Lauren (2:02 am): good night

Camila (2:03 am): where did you put your laptop?

Lauren (2:04 am): i don’t know lol

Lauren (2:04 am): wait, forget it

Lauren (2:04 am): i went to take a shower and brought it back

Lauren (2:04 am): i’m crazy

Camila (2:04 am): i was going crazy here looking for it lol

Camila (2:05 am): sleep tight

Lauren (2:06 am): hahahah sorry, i didn’t see it and thought i just left it there

Lauren (2:06 am): you too camz <3

.

.

.

Lauren (9:28 am): Morning sunshine

Lauren (9:28 am): are you up? wanna stay here with me?

Camila (9:30 am): good morning

Camila (9:30 am): i have to get ready for class soon

Camila (9:30 am): my grams is the same way for two days

Camila (9:31 am): all i feel is agony

Lauren (9:34 am): :(

Lauren (9:34 am):that’s why i told you to stay here til it’s time for class, so you don’t stay alone

Lauren (9:35 am): everything’s gonna be fine camz, i know it is impossible not to worry but she’ll come through!!! she’ll be even stronger!!!

Camila (9:37 am): :( :( :( :(

Camila (9:37 am): it’s killing me inside

Camila (9:37 am): that’s all i can say

Lauren (9:38 am): i know that :(

Lauren (9:38 am): that’s why i don’t want you to be alone

Lauren (9:38 am): not even for a minute

Lauren (9:39 am):i’m just gonna grab something to eat and if you want me to stay there with you, i’ll stay mute the whole time if you want but at least you won’t be alone haha <3

Camila (9:39 am): thanks love

Camila (9:39 am): but i have to get up and live

Camila (9:40 am): i can’t skip class

Camila (9:40 am): you can come in the afternoon

Lauren (9:40 am):no you’re right, don’t skip it

Lauren (9:40 am): ok, just let me know if you need anything

Camila (9:44 am): yeah yeah

Camila (9:44 am): thank you

Camila (9:44 am): did i cross the lines yesterday?

Camila (9:44 am): i know i did the opposite of what i should do

Camila (9:44 am): even what i asked you not to do, i did it

Camila (9:44 am): is that a problem?

Lauren (9:47 am): stop

Lauren (9:47 am): stop thinking about that now

Lauren (9:47 am): there’s no problem

Lauren (9:47 am): i didn’t follow what we settled too

Camila (9:49 am): :( :( :(

Lauren (10:00 am): sorry

Lauren (10:00 am): but don’t keep filling your head with that now camz

Camila (10:05 am): i’m the one who owes you an apology

Lauren (10:09 am): i’m gonna punch you in the face hahaha

Lauren (10:09 am): enough of that

Lauren (10:09 am): it’s all fine

Camila (10:21 am): : D

.

.

.

Camila (11:52 am): she’s got worse

Lauren (12:01 pm): wait

Lauren (12:01 pm): where you at?

Camila (12:01 pm): in my room

Lauren (12:02 pm): i’m coming

The day had started awfully already. I woke up feeling bad and that feeling wouldn’t go away anytime soon. It was exhausting and painful to feel the things I was feeling without knowing when it would go away. I went to class like I had told Lauren but by the end of it I was a mess. My mom had told me something about my grandma dying and that she was pretty bad. I was literally living my most feared nightmare and it didn’t matter if I went to sleep or stayed awake, it would never go away. I came back to the room and my only hope was Lauren. Maybe she could ease the pain by just being there, I don’t know how but maybe she could. I explained to her what was happening and I cried, like I had never before. Like the battle was already lost, and deep down I knew it was, it was just a matter of time. Lauren stayed with me for the most part of the afternoon, I took a nap and had three of those bad dreams in a row again. Where Lauren was just there by my side but she couldn’t hear me and couldn’t help me, no matter how loud I screamed or how hard I tried to move. It was pure agony. Lauren kept me company in the night too. I went to her room this time and she tried to distract me but wasn’t really successful at that since my sadness was unbearable.

Lauren (6:10 pm): everything okay there?

Camila (6:21 pm): Yes

Camila (6:23 pm): i just have a headache again

Lauren (6:26 pm): did you eat something?

Lauren (6:27 pm): it could be hunger, camz

Camila (6:39 pm): i’m not hungry

Camila (6:39 pm): but i’ll try to eat something

Lauren (6:42 pm): i know you’re not, but eat a fruit or anything

Lauren (6:42 pm): but don’t keep your stomach empty

Lauren (6:42 pm): it’s going to make your headache worse

Camila (6:44 pm): mhmm

Lauren (6:51 pm): okay then

Lauren (6:51 pm): call if you need anything

Lauren (6:52 pm): i’ll be back by 8, tops

Lauren (6:52 pm): okay?

Camila (6:52pm): okay

Camila (6:52 pm): i’m eating

Lauren (6:58 pm): greeeeaaatt

.

.

.

Lauren (1:19 am):i wish you had stayed here

Lauren (1:20 am): but i’m afraid my roommate won’t like it

Lauren (1:20 am): i don’t want you to sleep alone

Camila (1:21 am): i’ll be fine

Camila (1:21 am): relax

Lauren (1:21 am): :(

Lauren (1:22 am): okay then

Camila (1:22 am): thanks for everything

Camila (1:22 am): really

Camila (1:22 am): i don’t have words to thank you

Lauren (1:22 am): you’re welcome, camz. you don’t have to thank me for anything

Lauren (1:22 am): seriously

Lauren (1:22 am): i just want to see you well

Lauren (1:22 am): and laughing at stupid things again lol

Camila (1:23 am): i think it’s one of the worst moments of my life

Camila (1:23 am): and i don’t know when it’s going to end

Camila (1:24 am): i’m going to bed and waking up to anguish

Lauren (1:24 am): keep calm, camz. thing will get better, you’ll see! lets have some

faith that all of this is temporary

Lauren (1:24 am): i know that, i can imagine

Lauren (1:24 am): but this will pass

Lauren (1:24 am): you can be sure of that, and your grandma will be stronger

Camila (1:28 am): :((

Camila (1:28 am): my head is fucked up again

Lauren (1:29 am): it’s because you don’t stop thinking about it

Lauren (1:29 am): see, that’s why i don’t want you to be alone

Lauren (1:30 am): all will be fine camz!!

Camila (1:30 am): i’ll try to get some sleep

Camila (1:30 am): don’t worry

Lauren (1:31 am): haha that’s impossible

Camila (1:32 am): just like it’s impossible for me to stop thinking about it

Lauren (1:33 am): yeah, sorry :( i just wanted to distract you with something

Camila (1:34 am): i know, and i don’t know how to thank you

Camila (1:35 am): neither does my mom when she hears about it haha

Camila (1:35 am): i’ll stop responding you because if i don’t i will cry the whole night and my head can’t take it anymore

Lauren (1:36 am): okay, get some rest

Lauren (1:36 am): i’m going to sleep too

Lauren (1:36 am): good night

Lauren (1:36 am): don’t forget to set your alarm for tomorrow

Camila (1:36 am): what time?

Lauren (1:38 am): 8?

Lauren (1:38 am): then we can get some breakfast and see our beloved Lori at 9 haha

Camila (5:03 am): my gradma is gone

A/N: haven’t proof read but i wanted to finish this chapter asap. These last chapters have been hard for me to write since it’s such a painful and personal moment but i had to put it out there. I’ve been dreading it for so long and i also have less time to write now. The next one is gonna be a tough one too.   

Part 2!

Well, my sister brought me to the hospital emergency room. I couldn't walk, so she went in and got a wheel chair for me then brought me in so i could start on paperwork. She went back out to park her car. They'd already brought me back to a room to wait and she came in and joined me.

Well, 2 hours later, someone came in. Im not actually sure what his job was, but im telling him everything and i just see something click with him, but he isnt saying what it is. Suddenly, he's asking me questions. I didn't even know some of this stuff could be symptoms, but he seems like he knows whats going. Well, he won't say it yet. My sister and i are both getting worried. He said he wanted to schedule and MRI ASAP. He left and some nurses came in a few minutes later. They brought a gown in for me and and a cup for me to pee in along with some vials to draw blood.

I ask the nurses how long i should have to wait for an MRI. They said between it was usually 6 to 10 HOURS. I hadnt eaten since 9 am. It was now 4pm and i was starving.

Well, the guy comes back in 2 hours later and they move me to a different, more private, room. They had me change into my gown since i hadn't yet and 2 real strong guys helped me into a hospital bed that they could roll around. They pushed me to the top of the list for the MRI because this guy was so worried. He fought tp push me to the front and this was happening now.

Off we go to this huge wing of the hospital. The techs there have me change into a different gown because theirs have absolutely no metal.(the one i had on had a metal button)

They tried to get me in the MRI machine and have me lie still for the scan. Well, heres the kicker. I haven't slept on my back for months(when its usually my preferred position) because of the absolute agony that lying down straight on my back caused me. I couldn't lie still for 15 seconds, let alone 15 minutes. The tech just keeps telling me to keep still when i can't. I tell her the pain im in and she pulls me out. I was crying from the pain. She gets some people to help her put me in a wheel chair to bring me back to my bed and then puts in an order for someone to bring me some dilaudid. Let me tell you, after constant pain for months, this was like a god send. I was back in the MRI and i passed out, i was feeling so good. It felt like it was over in 15 seconds.

Then they pushed me back to my room with my sister, gave me some hospital sock and had me sir there and wait for the doctor. Im high af in this moment. It's like 8pm and i dont know where the last 2 hours went my parents texted my sister to say they were leaving work early to come sit with us.(mom doesnt usually leave til 10pm. Dad stays til 11:30 pm)

Were both starving.and ask them to bring food. They arrive around9:30. Well, before my mom can even give us our food, the doctor comes in. He has my dad leave the room and asks me to roll over on my side so he can check my control over my butt muscles(he used different words tho)Well, next thing i know, his finger is up my butt and he's asking me to squeeze.

Then he says i can sit back up. I do and he has my dad come back in. He starts by telling me i have something called Cauda Equina syndrome. Now, i watch a lot of TV and i know what it is. Im asking all these questions"am i going to end up paralyzed? What caused it? I haven't had any recent trauma. What can i do about it?" He tells me "no, you won't be paralyzed, but a couple more week and you would have been. There's a schwanomma around the bundle of nerves at the base of your spine. We can have a surgery in the morning for you." He looks right at the chic fil a bag. "No food until now and then" i just start crying. Its 10 pm. I haven't eaten in over 12 hours and im starving. He thinks im crying over reasonable stuff(i.e. surgery in the morning) my parents think the same. My sister knows me a bit better and knows why im crying. I sign all of my papers and they transfer me to an actual room.

Surgery comes in the morning, I'm high as a kite right before and pass out before we even get to the operating room. It takes 4 hours from prep to finish and im back in another new room where some nurses are sticking a catheter up in me. Apparently, im not supposed to get out of bed after surgery or something crazy. Well, my brother, dad, and my brother's 2 best friends who are practically family are there while a catheter is getting shoved up inside me. Not cool.

No surprise here. My brother didn't even notice i couldnt walk for months. Who is that unobservant? Now all of a sudden, im in the hospital. He didn't even know my sister brought me to the ER the day before. I don't really know where he thought everyone was.

Now im in the ICU for a couple days. Honestly, great room. Big TV, couch and chair for the family, and a personal bathroom(not that i could use it. Catheter and bed pan for me)

Couple days later they move me to a regular room(definite downgrade, but my medical bills thank them lol. Besides, better to keep that room for someone else who really needs it) next thing i know, here comes my surgeon having me x rayed and saying that my schwanomma bent my spine out of place. If it didn't correct itself, id need another surgery to implant a titanium rod to keep my spine in place. Well damn. I just had a surgery. I still had my drainage reservoir(which i affectionately called my drainage donut since it was round. It kept blood and fluids from building up in the space where the schwanomma was) attached to me. The first incision was only a couple inches. If they did this, id have a scar all down my back.

Well, i ended up with that longer scar on sept 30th. I had to keep this long bandage all down my back.

Finally, all done with surgery. Next came the hard part. Dealing with my family. They would not leave me alone. My sister came after work in the morning and stayed for a few hours. My dad came after work at night to stay with me a few hours. My mom came after work in the evening for a few hours. They all thought of this as they're personal nap time and passed out in the reclining chair next to my bed. My biggest pet peeve is snoring. I absolutely hate the sound. It grates on my ears and just pisses me off. I know they were just worried, but i literally could not have been safer. I was surrounded by nurses and doctors 24/7. I finally snapped and told them to just head straight home after work and just go to bed. I couldn't deal with the snoring. I felt bad about it, but finally being able to sleep in peace eased the guilt a lot.

Next was physical therapy. Learning to walk again. I had to wear a very restricting back brace to help the titanium rod mold to the right place of the bone and keep my spine straight. They transferred me via ambulance to an inpatient care facility. i was told that they wanted to keep me for 4 weeks. I just went along with it. They knew better than i did as doctors.

They put me om the spinal injury and stroke floor. I went through what I'd be doing there with my doctor. They were basically going to teach me to function again.

I started PT the next day. It was hard, but rewarding and i was doing great. It went similar the next few days. Then Oct 6th came. My sister, brother, and I had all wanted to go to a bar for my 21st birthday and now i was spending it in the hospital. It was still fun. My family and my sister's boyfriend came and we all ate cookie cake(my favorite) and played board games. It was a fun day until visiting hours were over. My family had to leave and i had to go back to my room. I sat there and couldn't stop crying. A nurse came in and saw me. She asked what was wrong and after i told her, she sat with me until i calmed down and stopped crying.

You may wonder why my brother, sister, and i couldn't just make plans to go to a bar after i got released. Well, we would have, but my brother was leaving the country on the 13th to go live with his wife in Demmark.

I finally got to go home oct 16th. I just had to go to out patient physical therapy, wound care appts to help with my surgery wound, and appts with my surgeon-not to mention walk with a walker and wear my brace for the next 2-4 months.

Finally, im all healed up. I figured a year after i first started noticing problems might be a good time to share this message:

Dont wait. If your body says something is wrong, it probably is a d you should try and listen to it.