chapter eighteen — how many secrets can you keep
➝ it’s race weekend in austria, which means toto has some very special guests with him at the race. elisabeth’s anxiety has nothing to do with what’s happening on the track.
➝ word count: 6,8k
➝ warnings: sexual harrasment, mentions of an almost traffic accident
JUNE, 2015
Elisabeth drummed her fingers on the steering wheel of her Mercedes C-Class as followed the light curves of the S36, the expressway that cut through northern Styria. The pastoral landscape, made up of extensive green fields dotted with Norway spruces, was framed by the imposing Austrian Alps.
Elisabeth left Schloss Gabelhofen, an upscale hotel on the banks of the Pöls River, early that morning. Not that the way to the Red Bull Ring was far — the medieval castle was just over ten minutes from the circuit.
But, there was a very special reason why she woke up early that Saturday.
Well, two reasons.
— What are you thinking? — Toto asked her the night before, his fingers playing with the strands of her hair. The question made her shift uncomfortably against his chest.
— About tomorrow — Elisabeth replied, looking up into his brown eyes.
— Since when do you care about qualifying, Liesl? — he asked her, raising an eyebrow.
— I’m not talking about qualifying, Toto. I’m talking about them — she said, nodding to the wall behind them.
On the other side of that wall was Benedict and Rosi, who had arrived at the hotel earlier that evening after Toto had gone to Vienna to pick them up to watch the race.
It wasn’t a surprise that they would be in Styria that weekend. Since 2013, when Toto started going to the garage with her and Niki, the kids were always in attendance for the Austrian Grand Prix, sometimes even for the Hungarian Grand Prix, as the circuit wasn’t far from Vienna. However, unlike previous years, where Elisabeth was just Niki Lauda’s daughter, her status wasn’t quite as neatly defined now.
— Liesl, no need to worry. To them, you’re still Elisabeth, Niki’s daughter, and my friend.
— Friends generally don’t live in the same house.
— They can! I shared a house with friends of mine in the 90s.
— I doubt you were having sex with them — she said, trying to hold back a laugh. Toto looked at her and smiled back.
— True, I wasn’t having sex with them, but the fact that we are doesn’t change the fact that you’re my friend, too. You’re my best friend. You’re my partner in crime — he whispered, his thumb brushing her cheek.
Elisabeth was silent as she took in what he said. Their life had its ups and downs with the stress of living on planes and hotels being amplified by the struggle to keep their relationship status private from everyone except them. However, she’d never felt so sure of a choice in her life. Everything felt so right. She was so happy.
— You’re my best friend too, honey — Elisabeth replied softly. She couldn’t avoid sounding a bit hesitant.
The problem is, she knew that Toto wasn’t just any single man. He had baggage that he’d brought to the relationship — the fears, misgivings, and insecurities of an older man who had been married, had gotten divorced, and had a few girlfriends after his divorce. His baggage was the two most precious possessions he had, the two most important people in his life.
His children.
— But? — Toto asked.
— The term we use to define our relationship won’t matter to your children. To them, I will continue to be a new, unknown person who is stepping into their lives and taking a place by your side. It’s not as simple as it seems.
He blinked.
— It sounds like you’ve been doing some research already — Toto said.
Elisabeth felt her face heat.
— Well, I have.
— You researched how to deal with stepchildren? — he looked at her, one eyebrow raised.
— How to introduce myself to my stepchildren, more specifically.
— And what did you find?
— Well, I’ve found that first impressions are very important for a healthy relationship with them — she raised her hand and lifted a finger, listing off what she’d read — Supporting their interests and encouraging them is important. Also, giving the three of you space to do things together is a good way to bring more security to the relationship between me and the kids. And that honesty and trust are essential for this relationship to work.
Toto gazed at her for a few seconds.
— Everything makes sense, now — he said.
— What do you mean?
— I didn’t do any of that when I introduced them to Aurélie.
— You introduced them to Aurélie!? — she exclaimed, indignation clear in her voice.
— Yes — Toto replied, running his fingers through his messy dark hair.
She held herself back from laughing.
— And how did you do that?
— I took the three of them to a restaurant for dinner. Let’s just say… It wasn’t one of the best nights I’ve ever had with them.
— What happened?
— Well, apart from Benedict’s sour looks, Rosi’s complete indifference, and the fact that Aurélie was so tense she almost crushed my hand from squeezing it, practically nothing.
— Nothing?
— Nothing. They hardly spoke to her during the two hours we spent at the restaurant.
Elisabeth couldn’t help but feel a chill inside as nerves gripped her body and made her stomach turn.
— And… What if that happens to me? — she whispered.
— If what happens?
— What if they don’t like me?
Toto placed his lips on the top of her head, giving her a gentle kiss.
— They already like you, Liesl.
— But what if they stop liking me when they find out we’re together?
— It’s impossible to stop liking you, Elisabeth. Stay calm.
She wanted to stay calm. However, as she turned onto Spielbergerstrasse, the road leading to the Red Bull Ring, Elisabeth kept remembering what she and Toto had agreed to that morning, before she left his suite at the end of the hallway, praying that the kids hadn’t spotted her leaving somehow.
— No touching, no staring, no whispering to each other, no alone time — she muttered, as her eyes flicked over the street signs for the circuit that dotted both sides of the road — For all intents and purposes, we’re just good friends and co-workers.
Even in the face of such precautions, all Elisabeth could do was hope that both of their performances would be convincing enough that neither of the children realized the real nature of her relationship with Toto.
Just over an hour later, she was having her third coffee in the Mercedes’ hospitality area, her back to the entrance, until she heard a familiar voice greet someone behind her. Turning her head back, Elisabeth saw the team principal pass through the automatic door with two pre-teens in tow. They were playing excitedly with each other, the girl trying to steal the boy’s Mercedes cap. It may have been more than a year since she’d last seen them, but the resemblance to their father was uncanny.
— Good morning, Wolff pack — she joked, smiling at them.
— Good morning, Elisabeth — Toto replied, approaching her to greet her with a chaste kiss on the cheek. It was almost comical to her to greet him that way, like she hadn’t slept with him the night before — How are you?
— Fine, drinking Barbara’s amazing coffee.
He looked at the cup in front of her and raised an eyebrow.
— Barbie, is it her first today? — he asked the employee, pointing to the cup.
— Third, Toto — the woman replied, drying her hands on the apron she was wearing. He dropped the folder he was holding onto the chair next to her and took the cup from her hands, handing it to Barbara.
— Hey, give that back! — Elisabeth protested, getting up from her chair and going after him.
— No more coffee for this one, Barbie.
— Toto!
— You know you can’t drink that much coffee.
She tried to take the cup, but Barbara had it out of her reach already. Upset, she turned to Toto, who had a mischievous smile on his face. He had definitely done it to provoke her.
— Why? — she crossed her arms, sulking.
— Too much caffeine is bad, Liesl, we’ve talked about this already — he replied, approaching her.
— I never felt bad after drinking coffee, Toto.
— But you get anxious, I’ve noticed — he said, flashing her one of those smiles that made her heart flutter. However, Elisabeth’s eyes shifted to the kids behind him. Benedict and Rosi looked at them with a curious expression, as if they were trying to understand that interaction between them. “Shit”, she thought, looking back at Toto.
— And since when do you care about that? — she replied, tilting her head slightly towards the children, trying to subtly signal him to not say anything he’d regret.
— Since always, since you’re my friend. And you know friends care about each other’s health. You told me that yourself when I broke my arm — Toto said, giving her a wink.
— Yeah, but not in front of the kids — Elisabeth said quietly, keeping her eye on them. They were still looking at them — What will they think I am?
— Probably a caffeine addict — he muttered, causing her to playfully smack his arm.
— You’re ridiculous, Wolff.
— And you need to be stopped before the hospitality coffee runs out — Toto replied, making her laugh. Even when Elisabeth tried to look mad at him, she couldn’t.
He was too adorable.
— Okay, no more coffee for today — she relented, bringing a smile to his face. He turned to Benedict and Rosi and pointed a finger at her.
— And that’s how you tame a Lauda — he said, making the children laugh.
— It’s easy with me, I want to see you try that with my father — Elisabeth said, dodging him to grab her bag on the chair — By the way, has he arrived yet?
— Yes, Niki came with us.
— Oh. Where is he?
— Niki went straight to the garage. That’s where I’m supposed to be, but we left late and these two still haven’t had breakfast — he sighed, nodding at his children. Looking at the two of them, she dropped her bag strap back on the chair.
— If you want, I can stay here with them and you can head to the garage. We’ll catch up to you once they’ve eaten. What do you think?
Toto blinked once, twice before turning to face Benedict and Rosi.
— How does that sound, kids?
— Fine by me — the girl replied, settling into one of the chairs at her table.
Benedict, however, was more hesitant.
— Okay, Dad — he just said.
Toto smiled.
— Excellent! So I’ll meet you all there. Behave yourselves — he said, walking past Elisabeth and picking up his briefcase from his chair — And don’t let her have any more coffee.
— Okay, goodbye — she said, voice heavy with sarcasm as she settled into her chair.
Toto left the hospitality area and headed to the garage, walking quickly.
As for Elisabeth, looking at the two pre-teens in front of her, she couldn’t help but swallow hard.
She was alone with Toto’s children for the first time. Possibly her future stepchildren, and they didn’t even know it.
— What would you like to eat? — she smiled.
— I don’t know, what is there? — Rosi returned.
— Good question, I only have coffee here — she looked towards the caterer and raised her hand — Barbie, can you come over here?
The employee approached the table.
— Yes, Elisabeth.
— Could you tell us what’s on the menu for our guests?
— Well, we have a selection of breads, butter or jam to go with it, muesli, ham, smoked bacon, sausages, eggs, cakes, pastries and, to go with it, coffee, tea or juice.
Elisabeth looked at them.
— Plenty of options, no?
— Pretty much — Rosi said, smiling — I’ll have a kaisersemmel with jam, a bowl of muesli, and some juice.
Barbara wrote down the girl’s order on her notepad.
— And you, Benedict? — she asked, earning a serious look from him.
— Kaisersemmel, bacon, eggs and a cup of tea — the boy muttered to the caterer, who wrote down his order as well.
— And you, Elisabeth? Did you want something else?
— Well, I think I’ll have a…
— No coffee — Rosi exclaimed, the same mischievous smile as Toto’s on her lips.
“Definitely a daddy’s girl”, she thought, unable to hold back a laugh.
— I’m fine, I don’t need anything.
She watched Barbara walk toward the hospitality kitchen. Then she looked at the children again, studying the subtle differences between them. While Benedict seemed more reserved, looking at the card hanging around his neck that gave free access to the paddock, Rosi seemed enchanted by the environment, her eyes taking in all the details.
After a few minutes of silence, she decided to break the ice.
— Are you two looking forward to the qualifying session today?
— I am.
— I’m fine, I’m sure Lewis will do well — Benedict replied, a familiar confidence in his voice.
— Are you sure, Benedict? Nico did very well in Monaco — Elisabeth said, in an attempt to maintain a dialogue with him about something she knew that he knew a lot about. “Support their interests and encourage them”, she mentally repeated.
— Lewis is on a good run, he’s already scored six poles in seven races — the boy said, smiling — The car is reliable, fast, and he’s well adapted to it. He has everything to get another pole position today.
Benedict’s knowledge of motorsport didn’t surprise her. He, in addition to being the son of a man who was completely obsessed with the sport, was passionate about Formula 1. Elisabeth had already spent hours listening to Toto talk about how Ben watched the races in his lap when he was little, his eyes glued to the screen, watching Michael Schumacher’s red car.
His passion for motorsport had taken him to the Formula 1 In Schools at the school where he was studying, working as the team’s communications director, a role that he performed very well from what Toto told her. However, something told her that a potential leader lurked inside him, just like his father.
— Actually, you’re right — Elisabeth said, smiling — Speaking of a car, your father told me that you are participating in the construction of a miniature prototype, is that it?
— Yeah. We’re refining the design according to the aerodynamic tests that we did in Flow Design. We hope to be testing the car next month.
— And are you enjoying the process?
The boy smiled.
— Yes, a lot. It is complex to keep track of everything, school, extracurricular activities and now this project. But it’s exciting to see it come together, you know?
— I understand perfectly — she replied, spotting Barbara coming to the table out of the corner of her eye — And here comes your breakfast.
Barbara brought breakfast to the table carefully, balancing the plates and glasses on a tray. She smiled as she served the children, asking Elisabeth again if she wanted anything. She shook her head and thanked her. Then, Benedict and Rosi began to eat in silence, making occasional comments about the food and whatever was playing on the screen behind her.
After they’d eaten, Elisabeth led them out of hospitality towards the pits. By then, the paddock was busier, with a crowd of reporters, photographers, staff, guests and visitors making her heart sink. She didn’t even want to think about what might happen if she lost one of them in that crowd.
— Rosi, do you mind giving me your hand? — she asked the girl, trying to hide her apprehension — There’s a lot of movement in the paddock and I don’t want to lose sight of you.
— No problem, Elisabeth — she said, her fingers tightening around her hand.
— Could you take your brother’s hand too? Just to be safe.
The girl looked at her brother and took his hand. She expected Benedict to protest, telling his sister to let him go, but he was silent, watching the flurry of activity — people, press, and car parts, all moving back and forth.
She guided them through the scrum and got them to the Mercedes garage with little difficulty, though it took a bit longer than it normally would have. Noticing their arrival in the guest viewing area, Toto took off the silver headphones and got up from the engineering island to greet them.
— Everyone been fed? — he asked, leaning back against the wall.
— Very well — Elisabeth said, grinning.
— Did you drink any more coffee, Elisabeth?
— No, Rosi wouldn’t let me.
Toto gave his daughter a smile.
— She’s really daddy’s little girl — he said, giving her a wink.
— Speaking of daddy, where’s my dad? — she asked, eyes searching the garage for his red cap.
— He went to the Legends Parade, Elisabeth. Did you forget?
“Fuck, the Legends Parade”, she thought, putting a hand to her face.
Elisabeth had become so nervous about making a good impression on Toto’s children that she had completely forgotten about the event her father was participating in, along with other world champions and drivers from the first turbocharger era in the 1980’s.
— Is he still there?
— Yeah, they’re showing the cars now, they’re going to ride them around the track in a while.
— I’ll go down there, then — she said, dropping her bag on one of the chairs in the viewing gallery, next to Benedict, who was watching the screen in front of him.
Looking at him, an idea sprang to mind.
— Benedict, do you want to come with me to see my father’s McLaren MP4/2B?
She was certain that she saw the boy’s eyes light up.
— Yes, I do — he exclaimed, jumping to his feet. However, he turned to Toto, who had a distinct look of pride on his face — Can I, father?
— Yes, Ben. But don’t leave Elisabeth’s side under any circumstances.
The boy nodded, straightening his cap on his head before following her out of the garage, towards the busy pit lane. The walk to the point where everyone was gathered was fast, with Elisabeth sneaking through a gray gate towards the grid where the cars were positioned.
— This way, Benedict — she said, letting the boy pass her and placing a hand on his shoulder to lead him through the crowd of photographers and onlookers that surrounded the MP4/2. Elisabeth excused herself as she made her way through the crowd to where your dad was, talking to Alain Prost, his former McLaren teammate.
— Dad? — she said, waving at Niki, who smiled.
— Finally you showed up — he said, placing a kiss on her cheek — Where have you been? Disappeared from the hotel, you weren’t in the garage…
— I was with Rosi and Benedict at the hospitality — she said, patting the shoulder of the boy who was looking at the car, delighted — By the way, did you know Ben loves older cars?
He looked at Elisabeth and then at Niki, smiling. He didn’t seem to mind the use of his nickname.
— Yes, I do, Mr. Lauda — he said, nodding excitedly.
— Have you ever seen the MP4/2 up close, Ben?
— Never, just pictures — the boy said, straining to see something near the car’s wheels — It uses carbon brakes, doesn’t it?
Niki smiled.
— Yes, it was one of the few cars to have that feature. They excelled on street circuits in dry, hot conditions.
The boy circled the car, stopping near the rear wing.
— It was also one of the best in terms of aerodynamics, wasn’t it, Mr. Lauda?
— Yes, fantastic rear-wheel drive. The long, high-speed turns were amazing to take.
— I imagine — Benedict looked at your father, eyes gleaming.
The sight of the two of them interacting made Elisabeth feel something warm in her chest. She had often found herself imagining what it would be like to welcome everyone to her home in England for dinner. Her family and Toto’s, together, bound together by the love they felt for each other. Seeing Ben and Niki talking and playing, almost like grandfather and grandson, made the desire to see it happen grow.
— Niki! — she heard someone exclaim, in a familiar accent. “Oh no, not him”, Elisabeth thought, forcing a smile. Taking one last look at Ben, she saw the gray-haired man in the white jumpsuit wrap her father in a tight hug, thumping him on the back, companionably.
— How are you, Piquet?
— All well, thank God. And you, all on top?
Her father laughed.
— Everything is on top. You remember my daughter, Elisabeth, right?
Nelson looked at her.
— Of course I remember — he approached, placing a kiss on her cheek. That closeness made her shiver — She was a lovely little girl.
— Thank you, Mr. Piquet.
— But now she’s become a stunning woman — he took a step back, looking her up and down — Too much trouble keeping men away from her, Niki?
Her father gave him a forced smile. He was clearly a little uncomfortable.
— Not at all, Elisabeth is a responsible woman.
— Are you single? — Nelson asked her.
Elisabeth never wanted so much to be able to say she had a partner.
— Yes, I am.
— How can such a beautiful woman be single?
— I’m a very busy woman, I don’t have much time.
— If I were younger, I wouldn’t give up the opportunity to ask you out. Maybe I should set you up with my son, Pedro. Do you remember him? I introduced him to you in Ibiza some years ago.
Elisabeth hadn’t remembered that he had another son besides Nelson Junior, who raced with Mathias in GP2 in 2005. The boy had been the same sort of unpleasant that his father was — as arrogant and completely reckless. The prospect of another Piquet in racing like Junior was a real nightmare to Elisabeth and the racing world as a whole.
— Yes, I do — she lied, feeling her stomach churn.
The sound of clicking camera shutters made him exclaim for the moment to be photographed, saying he needed pictures of her to show his son. Positioning herself beside him, she felt Nelson’s hand land high on her waist, uncomfortably close to her left breast. With the smile not leaving her face, Elisabeth took a deep breath, looking into the lens for a few moments. “It will be over soon”, she repeated to herself like a mantra.
Then she felt the fingers in her ribcage crawling towards her breast and a warm breath against her ear.
— But, if you prefer older guys, you should let me know…
Elisabeth moved her hand from her father’s back and brought it to the point where Nelson was touching her. She noticed that her father was distracted, talking again to Prost. Then, turning to Nelson once more, she leaned in close.
— You should know that, while my father holds you in high regard, I cannot say the same — she whispered — You need to take your hands off of me before I make a point of telling everyone here what you just said and did to me.
He gave her a sneer.
— They’d never believe you — the ex-driver snapped.
— But I bet they’d believe Toto Wolff — Elisabeth said, looking behind him, over his shoulder. Turning his head, Piquet saw Toto, who was standing on the other side of the car, his hands on Benedict’s shoulders. It was obvious from the way his jaw was clenched that he was completely enraged.
Then, Toto made a subtle gesture to Piquet with his head — a tilt that said more than words could.
“Go away”.
— Excuse me, Miss Lauda — Nelson spat, walking away from her.
She took a few seconds to compose herself before saying hello to Alain. Then, Elisabeth stepped towards Toto and Benedict, the boy still distracted by the car. As she stood next to the team principal, she felt like crying, screaming, and throwing up, all at once. Wrapping one arm around her shoulders, Toto brought his face close to hers.
— Are you okay?
— Yes, Toto. Thank you for helping me.
She knew he wanted to say more than that, but it wasn’t possible there, with all the fuss and crowd, and with Benedict so close by. He gave her shoulder a light squeeze, his thumb stroking the skin exposed by the summer dress she’d chosen for the day. It was the most he could do, and it meant so much.
— What did you come over here for? — she asked, trying to push the memory of what had just happened out of her head.
— I saw you on the broadcast and wanted to see how you were doing. Ben looked very excited to be talking to your father.
Elisabeth smiled, placing her hand on top of his.
— Two lovers of speed together, there was no way it could not work out.
Suddenly, Benedict turned to them, making both Elisabeth and Toto step away suddenly.
— Can we see them race? — the boy asked, smiling.
— Yes, we can — Toto replied, taking the cap off Benedict’s head, revealing his light brown hair, messy from being under his hat — But it will have to be from the garage, okay?
Ben nodded, taking his hat back and putting it back on his head.
They made it back to the garage together in time to see the cars on the track through the screens in the viewing gallery. With the silver headphones on his head, Benedict was talking animatedly to Rosi, making gestures with his hands. As she watched, Elisabeth discreetly touched Toto’s shoulder to draw his attention.
— Everything okay? — he asked her, removing one side of the earphones to hear her.
— Yes, I was just looking at the kids.
Leaning over to look at his children, his brown eyes found her face again, accompanied by the wrinkles that only appeared when he gave his widest smiles, as well as the crinkle of his nose that made her belly fill with butterflies.
— They’re happy — Toto whispered in realization.
— Yes, they are.
— Thank you.
— For what? — you asked, laughing.
— For being here. For being by my side. For being my partner in crime.
Elisabeth smiled.
— We’re in this together. Always.
Suddenly, Toto turned his face to the screen, pressing the headphones to his ear.
— Your dad’s driving now, do you want to listen?
She nodded, handing him the cable to her headphones so he could plug them into the engineering station. Looking up at the screen, Elisabeth saw her dad rev up his McLaren MP4/2 on the main straight of the Red Bull Ring, the red and white livery becoming a blur on the asphalt.
Unlike her brothers, she’d never seen her father drive in actual races. All she knew about her father’s career were just memories he’d shared, videos she’d found on YouTube, and the pictures scattered through the house. Seeing him actually driving the car with which he had won his third World Championship in front of her was different.
It was definitely much better than watching the videos and photos.
It was magical.
When her father returned to the garage before qualifying, Elisabeth approached him, smiling.
— What do you think, Mauslein? — he asked her, adjusting the red cap on his head.
— You drove pretty well for an old man — she said. He burst out laughing.
— An old man out of shape, by the way.
— But very talented, nonetheless — she added, giving him a hug — It was amazing to actually see you on the track. Really amazing.
Her father placed a kiss on her cheek.
— Thank you, Mauslein.
The results of the qualifying session did not come as a surprise. Just as Benedict had said over breakfast, Lewis scored another pole position, 200 hundredths of a second ahead of Nico. Another extraordinary performance from an extraordinary driver in an extraordinary machine.
Rising from her chair, Elisabeth made her way to the guest area where Benedict and Rosi were sitting and talking. As the boy was explaining something to his sister, the girl looked at her own pit, looking distracted. Leaning back against the partition, she smiled.
— You were right, Ben — she said — Lewis rocked it today.
The boy looked up at her, the corners of his lips curving into a smile.
— Yes, he did very well. And it will be even better tomorrow.
— What did you think, Rosi?
— I thought it was cool, but quite noisy.
— Just don’t take off your headphones, Rosi — Benedict retorted.
— But it was uncomfortable — the girl complained — They kept squeezing my head, it was already hurting.
— But you shouldn’t take them off!
— Ben, it’s okay. Tomorrow we will see more comfortable headphones for Rosi, ok?
The girl nodded, smiling.
Suddenly, she felt a hand touch the base of her spine, the fingers gently brushing the fabric of her dress. Elisabeth felt her body suddenly tense, only relaxing the moment she realized that Toto was touching her. He was leaning against the partition beside her, looking relaxed.
— Did you have fun today? — Toto asked, smiling at his kids.
— A lot — Rosi replied.
— Yes, a lot — Ben said, getting a pat on his hair from his father.
Watching them, she couldn’t hold back a sigh. “Maybe this can work”, Elisabeth thought, a faint smile playing on her lips.
— And you, Liesl? — Toto turned to her, a gleeful gleam in his eyes — Did you have fun?
— Yes. Race weekends are always fun, especially up close — she replied, tucking a lock of her light-brown hair behind her ear.
— Glad you — he started to say, correcting himself soon after — Or rather, you all had fun. However, I wanted to ask you something.
— Are you staying late? — Ben asked, raising an inquiring eyebrow in a way that was eerily similar to the way his father did. Toto couldn’t help but look a little startled by the boy’s quick deduction.
— Yes — Toto replied quietly — How do you know?
— We heard an engineer talking to Bono — Rosi replied, a mischievous smile on her face. It was a smile that looked just like Toto’s.
— Well, then, since you know I’m going to have to stay a little longer here on the track, I want to know if you two wanted to stay in the hospitality, while I finish the debrief and do some meetings.
Benedict and Rosi looked at each other, as if seeking the answer in each other’s silence. Faced with that impasse between the two, Elisabeth decided to speak out.
— Well, I’m heading back to the hotel now — she said, making the three pairs of brown eyes turn towards her — If you want, I can take you there, no problem. I imagine you both are tired and tomorrow will be as full as today.
Rosi turned to face her brother, a wide smile on her face, before looking back at you.
— I want to go to the hotel with you, Elisabeth. Can I, dad?
Toto was still looking at her silently, a glint of admiration in his eyes.
— If it’s not a problem for Elisabeth…
— No problem at all — she replied — It will be great to have company to go back to the hotel.
— Are you going with your sister, Ben?
The boy looked at her, studying her expression for a few seconds. Then he turned to Toto and smiled.
— I want to stay with you, dad.
The answer caused a strange unease to rise in her chest. “Did Ben not like me?”, she thought, trying to hide her discomfort by looking at her phone.
— You know you can’t leave hospitality, don’t you? — Toto asked.
— Not even to go to the garage to see the mechanics working on the car?
— If you want to see the mechanics, I can bring you by, but you can’t leave here until I get back. I don’t want you hanging around the paddock at this hour, is that clear? — he replied with a stern expression on his face.
— Fine, dad — Benedict replied excitedly.
— So, are you ready to go? — Elisabeth asked Rosi.
— Yes.
Elisabeth waited for Rosi to say goodbye to Benedict and Toto, watching her give each of them a hug. It felt like deja vu. Rosi’s relationship with her father and brother was very reminiscent of her own relationship with Niki, Mathias and Lukas. “Maybe we’re not all that different”, she thought, watching Toto say something to his daughter before kissing the top of her head. Then he looked up at her.
— Be careful on the road, Liesl — Toto said, approaching her and giving her cheek a cordial, chaste kiss.
— Always — she replied, trying to sound casual.
When he pulled away, their eyes met for a moment. There was, undeniably, a glow of happiness in them, and she was sure it wasn’t just from the results of qualifying.
— Ready, Elisabeth? — she heard Rosi say, taking her hand suddenly. The gesture made something warm in her chest. “She trusts me”, she thought, looking into the girl’s chocolate eyes.
— Let’s go, dear. Goodbye, boys — she said, leaving the hospitality along with Rosi, heading towards the paddock exit.
Seated in the leather seats of her black Mercedes C-Class, Elisabeth maneuvered the car carefully through the staff’s parking lot. Crossing the entrance gate and Red Bull statue, she made a point of waving to the people who were huddled against the railings on the side of the road, waiting for the drivers to leave. With the camera flashes filling her vision with spots, she took the turn slowly, pulling onto Spielbergerstraße with caution.
— I don’t know how you and my dad put up with this — Rosi muttered.
— This what?
— The photographers. The reporters. The cameras on you. Attention all the time.
Elisabeth heaved a sigh, shifting gears.
— I won’t say it’s easy, because it isn’t. But there comes a point where you get used to it, especially inside the paddock. It turns out that journalists and photographers become part of the environment, like potted plants.
Rosi laughed.
— But my father doesn’t agree with me — she continued, looking briefly at Rosi — He finds it all very invasive, very disturbing. He calls the photographers ‘vultures’.
— My father does, too — the girl exclaimed.
— Now you know where he got it from — Elisabeth smiled at her.
Silence settled over the interior of the car, but there was nothing uncomfortable about it. As she tapped her fingers on the steering wheel, Elisabeth felt a lightness inside you — a kind of relief that came from everything going well that day. Not just on-track, but off. It was a sense of accomplishment.
— Elisabeth…
— Yeah? — she answered.
— Can I turn on the radio?
She smiled.
— Sure.
With a few taps on the screen, the car was filled with Ed Sheeran’s melodious voice, the soft chords of the guitar making her smile.
And I’m thinking ‘bout how people fall in love in mysterious ways
Her head began to shake gently.
Maybe just the touch of a hand
Her fingers drummed on the steering wheel to the beat of the song.
Oh me I fall in love with you every single day
Her lips muttered the lyrics silently.
And I just wanna tell you I am
Her mind was filled with memories of white wine-flavored kisses.
— I really like this song — Rosi said, once the British singer finished the chorus for the first time.
— Your father loves that song too — Elisabeth muttered unconsciously, not realizing what she’d implied until she heard the girl next to her answer her.
— Because it reminds him of you, doesn’t it?
Her words made her heart skip a beat and her entire body feel heavy. The shock had Elisabeth swerve the car, her foot slamming on the brake with such force that her torso was shoved against her seat belt.
She turned off the ignition, feeling her hands shake as she pressed the hazard light button. Her pulse roared in her ears, her breaths heavy. Gathering all the courage she had left, Elisabeth turned to face Rosi, who was staring at her with wide eyes.
— Where did you get this from, Rosi? — she managed to say, her voice shaking with shock.
The girl hesitated for a few seconds before starting to speak.
— Well, I suspected my dad was seeing someone when I saw his phone.
She felt her heart sink. She had been so careful to keep his number with the same name, without any hint that there was anything more. After all, they never knew when someone might look at the screen.
“He couldn’t have changed my contact information after our conversation, could he?”, she thought, her fingers gripping the steering wheel.
— What did you see? — she asked. Elisabeth was imagining the worst.
— His cell phone was ringing and I was going to take it to him at his office, but the call went to voicemail. That’s when I saw the wallpaper and realized it wasn’t the same photo I’d set for him.
It was an undeniable fact that Toto was a walking six-foot-five contradiction. The fact that he had achieved success investing in tech companies but was completely unable to download an app or change his phone’s wallpaper without help always made Elisabeth laugh.
At that moment, she didn’t find the situation funny, especially since it had been that simple detail that had exposed them to his kids.
— The fact that his phone’s lock screen picture was different. I know my father doesn’t know how to change it, so that made me suspicious. However, when I showed it to Ben, he noticed in the photo that there was a lipstick mark on one of the glasses. That’s when we were sure he was seeing someone.
— That’s all?
— No. The furniture in different places and the new decor in the penthouse also made us suspicious. We were sure when my dad played this song on the way here and started humming it.
Elisabeth had no idea what to say.
She and Toto had definitely underestimated Benedict and Rosi.
— My father only ever plays one song when he drives, which is Thunderstruck, by AC/DC. We always heard it on a loop, no matter how long the trip was.
Elisabeth held back a laugh.
— I’m guessing you got sick of it.
— Very — the girl laughed, lowering her gaze.
— Me too — she replied, smiling.
It was silent again for a few seconds, as if they were looking for something to say to each other. Then Rosi looked up at her.
— Are you my father’s girlfriend?
She hesitated for a few seconds. There was no way out now.
— Yes, Rosi, I’m your father’s girlfriend.
The girl looked forward, her expression unreadable.
— Are you upset? — Elisabeth questioned her, trying to hide the apprehension in her voice.
— No, Elisabeth. I would never be upset if my father is happy. But knowing that you’re the one who’s on his side makes me — the girl hesitated for a second, as if she was searching for the right word — Glad. Well, not just me, but Ben too.
Her lips curved into a tight smile, relief flooding her body.
She could hardly believe what she was hearing.
Rosi liked her. Benedict liked her.
— Besides, you’re better than the last one he introduced us to. She didn’t like us.
Elisabeth laughed, remembering what Toto had said about Aurélie’s introduction to the kids over dinner. She’d definitely made a poor impression.
— I like you a lot too, Rosi. I like you and Ben — she replied, placing her hand on top of hers.
— And my father, do you like him?
She felt her cheeks heat up. “Like” wasn’t an adequate enough word to describe the way she felt when she was with him, whether in the garage, on the plane, or just them, alone in their house together. Her feelings for him went far beyond a simple physical attraction, which was their guide in the first months of coexistence. It was something much deeper, genuine, intense.
— I love him, Rosi. I love him.
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