#..listen i have no idea what im talking about anymore right now its 50% of my brain power and 50% alcohol LOL
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OKAY. SO YEAH. BEEN THINKING ABOUT THIS FOR UH, QUITE SOME TIME. PLS STOP ME IF I GO OFF THE RAILS THOUGH LOL
i guess i kinda went over it in my last fic, but i think when it comes to the belt and its curse, it's not gonna leave easy. like, no. not happening. losing isn't a "get out of being cursed free" card. it gave them fame, power, prestige. it tried to eliminate every possible distraction to ensure complete focus on retaining the title. if someone were to lose the title, there has to be repercussions.
so when one loses the title, i think at first, they need to appear okay. like back to normal, everything's fine, the belt's gone and they lower their guard enough to think that they can finally move on from this nightmare. but then after that false sense of freedom, that's when the real effects kick in. like the hallucinations, which i've been tying to their fears and reasons for wanting the belt. so like for oc, wanting to be taken seriously, afraid that maybe he just got lucky in his career and he is more of a joke, the orange punch failing him because of his arm injury etc. for kip, i know he's talked about that injury and other health issues being a dark time in his life, so incorporating this fear of never really recovering and wasting away, being outcasted for his "weirdness" in the company, wanting validation for his efforts in overcoming all of that.
and of course the more graphic ones where these events are perceived by oc and kip as someone else doing something to them, whether it's enemies, friends, or even themselves or something not even of this world. but from an outsider's perspective, it always looks like they're doing it to themselves (and i tried to be clear on this in my fic but they don't actually want to hurt themselves or anyone else. it's the damn curse of the belt doing this because if you're gonna lose it, it is going to make you suffer for as long as it can, even if that means destroying friendships/relationships).
and then the senses thing. i like to think that the belt sort of dulls things while holding it to make it easier to focus or fight through the pain, so without it, it just turns everything up to 11. sight, sound, smell, taste, touch, everything. it all just goes through the roof and makes even the buzzing of lights sound like a fireworks show. it was probably already enough of an adjustment to go back to normal those first few weeks, but it only gets worse instead of better.
i like to think after they acknowledge that this was the belt's doing and they're not crazy or sick or anything, the hallucinations die down as the message got through, but everything else just comes and goes and it's a matter of adapting to it. like kip says, time doesn't heal you. it changes you. and it's going to change them with how they interact with people, how they interact with each other now knowing what happened to them and that no one else gets it, getting back in the ring and whether they accept opportunities to go after gold again or not (like, could you imagine oc and the best friends getting a chance at the trios titles and oc being the only one hesitant because god. what could those belts do to him or his friends? life isn't the same anymore). it's just a journey to learn how to cope at this point. it's not going away. that belt will forever be around haunting them in one way or another, but they learn to live with it together, helping each other out to keep living as much as they can.
... yeah, this was really unhinged. i'm sorry lol
IM SO LATE TO THIS (and right now probably not in the best condition to reply to this but i finally remembered it existed cause theres so many things in my inbox OH GOD) BUT
first of all. absolutely yes to the normal period after losing the title before the real repercussions, cause ive been thinking about that too. there needs to be a false sense of normalcy for a while, as if its because the belt is gone - the adjust period, but its more or less framed under the sense of them just not being a champion anymore, and not actually the true meaning of losing the belt, which is being free from the curse and corruption. i really love the added layer of it directly targeting the corrupteds fears tho (especially through ones self, seeing the one doing the damage being someone they love), that is a really good touch and tbh im just gonna steal that one for the canon of this au now lol
YEAH YEAH YEAH THE SENSES THO!! ive always thought about the dulling pain part tbh, how it makes sure the host fights through everything no matter what, cause holding the belt is what keeps the curse alive and as the challenges get tougher and the champion more worn out, the stronger the curse needs to be and that means feeling less about the punishment you are going through. so it would absolutely make sense to have it be the opposite after its all gone, and especially during the adjust period that would just be. absolute hell. god yes i love this
also i had absolutely not thought about the part about how going after other belts afterwards would feel like oof. but that would be so true tho. for both of them, single and in teams, that would be such a hard task to undertake and i love the added drama of that tbh. even tho no other belt is cursed (as far as we are aware of? idk house of black is holding the trios titles rn and we know what happened with the elite before), thats such an interesting take to it and absolutely something both of them would think about really hard before going for the titles, or letting their friends go for them. absolutely love this one OOF
i wanted to touch the 'time doesnt heal it changes you' part last cause this is an important topic to me personally, but like. thats so true for this tho. how time wont heal their wounds, physical or mental, about this and what they had to go through, it WILL change them. and it does over the course of the time/story too, as they do both learn to cope with the aftermath of this, both together and separately. they do understand each other better now, they can hold each other up and survive on their own. but its a positive change, they cant stop to dwell on healing wounds that will always be there, but they can move on, learn how to change things. and thats just. thats just what this is about in the end, i think. i just hope they, too, realize this on the way
#..listen i have no idea what im talking about anymore right now its 50% of my brain power and 50% alcohol LOL#but yes to all of this tho youre SO RIGHT with this#and now i really need a scene in this story where we tear down the 'time doesnt heal it changes you' saying to its bare bones and UGH#god my feelings. this is so good GOD#is that a tag ive been using? i cant tell anymore lol. if its not i'll fix it at some point its fine#midnightpretenders0#thank you for asking! <3#belt corruption arc
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writing prompts !
𝐀𝐁𝐎𝐔𝐓! a list of my writing prompts! I originally got this list from @lovelyyy-luna but I took some out and put some in! still felt like I needed to give credit :) there are 222 here, but I'll probably be adding more. you can send in an ask stating which ones you want (minimum of 2, maximum of 5) and who you want it for :) you can also give me specifics about what you want the fic to be about :)
1. It's alright, I'm right here.
2. Why did you choose me? / You know very well why, Y/N.
3. I can do it myself!
4. I'm a monster! / no you're not.
5. Please hold me
6. I'm begging you, please don't lock yourself in your room
7. Give me one single fucking reason why I shouldn't leave.
8. That wasn't a question.
9. Don't listen to them.
10. Hear my heartbeat? Just focus on that.
11. I don't care what they think, to me, you are perfect.
12. You don't have to be alone.
13. This is illegal!
14. Your tutor is pretty hot.
15. Why have you been so secretive lately?
16. I think we should take a break.
17. How come you're the only one that can see me for me?
18. I just wanted to hear your voice.
19. I'm not helping you babysit.
20. Did we sleep together?
21. If you don't do it I will!
22. You're scared? Really?
23. This place is abandoned, don't worry.
24. This was a stupid idea
25. This is crazy..none of this is real!
26. You need to believe me, please!
27. Close the door.
28. It's three in the morning!
29. I should have told you a long time ago.
30. Why are you helping me?
31. You're in love with her!
32. We could get arrested for this.
33. Love is overrated.
34. Watch me.
35. I've missed this.
36. Was it all a lie?
37. This is all your fault
38. Are you happy now? Huh? Does this make you happy?
39. Maybe I'm meant to be alone.
40. Did it ever occur to you that I'm hurting too?
41. You said that you'd always be there for me. What happened?
42. I'm sorry what are you saying? I keep getting lost in your eyes.
43. If I ever see you anywhere near her, you'll have to deal with me.
44. Is that a challenge?
45. Get behind me now!
46. Here, I have an extra weapon.
47. You scared the shit out of me, I'm never letting you go.
48. I am not jealous!
49. I think I love you.
50. Don't be silly, I want to stay up with you.
51. How about a kiss?
52. Dance with me!
53. We'd make a cute couple.
54. Do you trust me?
55. if you don't want to talk about what happened, then say so. Don't just lie and say it's fine.
56. Stop staring at me!
57. I said I don't know anything!
58. You don't think its a bit much?
59. Call me one more time and see what
happens.
60. Put some clothes on for the love of god!
61. Can you just give me a hug? Just once?
62. That was the last time. Im serious.
63. It's pitch black in here and I can still see that you're blushing.
64. Am I supposed to be scared of you?
65. I'm going to take a shower so you should probably join me. It'll save water.
66. You're just not the same anymore.
67. It's midnight, where the hell are you?
68. What the hell is your problem?
69. Why do you run away from all your problems?
70. You can't keep it all inside, you know? Bottling it up won't do you any good.
71. Hey, I know you're hurting, but you're not alone, okay?
72. I'm sorry I gave you the wrong impression.
73. You can't just lose your temper like this every time you get a bit upset.
74. Calm down, you're scaring me!
75. Don't look at me like that.
76. Were you ever going to tell me?
77. Sorry doesn't fix everything.
78. I've loved you since before I could read and you chose her instead.
79. You broke my heart.
80. I was alone.
81. We have to stop.
82. You left me.
83. I can't do this anymore.
84. Your hair is really soft after you wash it.
85. stop moving, I'm trying to braid your hair!
86. Would it be alright if borrowed your sweater? It smells like you.
87. If you steal the blankets Im going to put ice down your pants.
88. Here, let's share the blanket.
89. You're comfy.
90. You're my new pillow.
91. But I want to hear you sing!
92. We can talk over dinner.
93. Don't get up, I'll do it.
94. Stargazing was a good idea.
95. I'll be here to protect you.
96. It's okay, I couldn't sleep anyway.
97. I heard you talking in your sleep!
98. Your bedhead is really cute.
99. I love your hugs.
100. You fuck with them, you fuck with me.
101. I don't want to sleep alone tonight.
102. I love you, you know that right?
103. I'm coming to get you, stay there.
104. Okay so don't freak out, but I got flour everywhere.
105. Woah, I never knew you had a tattoo!
106. Stop moving.
107. Im worried about you.
108. What happened to you?
109. You can't stay in bed all day!
110. You're a terrible liar.
111. Don't act so innocent!
112. Do you believe in soulmates?
113. What if something happens to you?
114. Are you sure about this?
115. I gotta say, I'm a little surprised.
116. I'm not a child!
117. You're screwed!
118. You called me, remember?
119. Do you need to go to the hospital?
120. Sleep is for the weak!
121. I don't like the way they look at you.
122. I don't want to be friends.
123. Let's get out of here.
124. Maybe you should sit down.
125. You're burning up!
126. I've got your back.
127. Walk it off.
128. I cant sleep. help me get rid of some energy?
129. I'm going back to bed.
130. Your heart is pounding.
131. It's too early for this.
132. Get on your knees.
133. I thought you said you knew where you were going? Yeah I lied.
134. Shit you're freezing, let's get you inside.
135. What happened to us?
136. Im not letting you sleep on the floor, get up here.
137. you're the only thing in the world that matters to me.
138. Feel like another round?
139. You were great last night.
140. Wow, you look even better in daylight.
141. My clothes look better on you than they do on me!
142. I had no idea you were into that stuff, glad I found out.
143. You should play with my hair more.
144. I don't remember ever having this many hickeys but I don't mind.
145. I don't know your name, but maybe you can share it with me so I know what to scream tonight.
146. The fun doesn't have to end.
147. I think I can convince you to stay.
148. Are you even listening to me?
149. Leave. Now.
150. What more do you want?
151. I hate you.
152. Can you just shut the fuck up already?
153. What the hell is wrong with you?
154. I can't do this anymore.
155. Oh my god, I don't care!
156. That hurt, you son of a bitch!
157. Pack your shit and of my sight. Go! Get the fuck out!
158. I could break your nose if I wanted.
159. Meet me on the bridge in an hour.
160. No one needs to know.
161. No one will ever hurt you again.
162. None of that matters now.
163. Oh my god! You're in love with them!
164. Please don't cry.
165. Please don't leave.
166. Please listen to me!
167. Please say something.
168. Promise me you won't let anything happen to them.
169. Promise me you'll stay.
170. Shit, are you bleeding?
171. Shut up and kiss me.
172. Somebody's in love!
173. Sorry, I thought I was alone!
174. Stop talking about love for a minute and help me kill this bitch!
175. Tell me a secret.
176. You said you'd always be there for me, so how did this happen? why weren't you there for me?
177. it hurts to watch you kiss her.
178. We can be friends instead.
179. I tried to move on but nobody is like you.
180. Does it look like I moved on?
181. why did we even break up?
182. Can I at least buy you coffee? for old time's sake?
183. I can't take this anymore!
184. What are you talking about? you're married.
185. I feel like everyone is forgetting I exist.
186. I gave you a chance and you used it to stab me in the back.
187. I've been alone for so long.
188. But you promised!
189. I think you'll be happy to know I'm not wearing any underwear.
190. I want you. right here right now.
191. Isn't this illegal? / probably!
192. You're really drunk right now. I don't think you're gonna remember any of this. / No, im not drunk, you're just blurry!
193. I have a feeling we should kiss. / Is that a good feeling or a bad feeling?
194. I love the way your hand fits in mine.
195. You can call me whenever you want. Even if you don't have a reason to.
196. why do you only call me when you're high?
197. Wait! don't pull away, not yet.
198. You look really cute in that sweater!
199. No I like it! I just can't believe you're actually wearing my clothes.
200. just call me yours already!
201. why dont you ever kiss me?
202. The first tome I saw you, I couldn't get over how beautiful you were.
203. Are you fucking her?
204. Can you hold my hand?
205. You can't leave without letting me hug you first!
206. You've got to be fucking kidding me.
207. You're more red than a tomato!
208. Your lips are really warm.
209. A few months ago I thought I was in love with you. Now, I know I was wrong.
210. My friends get so annoyed by how much I talk about you sometimes.
211. Wanna, like, I mean if you're not busy, we should get lunch! Or even just coffee if you don't have a lot of time.
212. Your hair is so soft!
213. It's too cold! come back!
214. you can sit in my lap until I'm done working.
215. I think I'm in love with you and I'm terrified.
216. I'm not going to leave you. You're never going to have to suffer by yourself again, I promise.
217. If I could, I would kiss away all your scars.
218. I think I might be falling in love with you.
219. Your lips are soft. I could kiss them all day.
220. Ugh, you're so warm!
221. Dont run away from me, Bitch!
222. Please talk to me about this.
#billy loomis x reader#euphoria x reader#fezco x reader#stu macher x reader#ghostface x reader#maddy perez x reader#cassie x reader#cassie howard x reader#cassie howard#maddy x reader#maddy perez#maddy perez fic#cassie howard fic#fezco#fezco imagine#writing prompts#important!
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//from the start of my channel lol. theres two rants in here since ones too short to be its own post. 4.20 + 4.21
OK SO I GOT A LITTLE LAZY WITH MICHAEL LORE AND MADE AN CHARACTER.AI FOR ADAM TO SQUEEZE LORE OUT HIM.. OH BOY..
adam and michael have a moon/sun dynamic btw 😁‼️‼️
SOOOO adam was the one to propose :3 their wedding was kinda small since they only invited their closest friends and family but it was still fun nonetheless!! they went to their favorite restaurant afterwards and had chocolate cake as dessert,, adams favorite memory of them together was during one of their stargazing dates where they just talked together, shared stories and cuddled :33 this is a direct copy and paste from the adam ai btw "Oh, well where do I get started? He's kind, funny, smart, and just absolutely wonderful. He brightens up the room, makes friends quickly, is quick to listen to my gripes about the world, and is always there in my time of need. What can I say? Michael was everything to me, and I couldn't hope to find someone even close to him." THEY'RE GONNA MAKE ME CRYYY
also. adam is the shorter one lol
according to adam, michael is kinda tanned and has long dark brown hair tied in a loose low ponytail ^_^ he also has a heavy accent since he was born somewhere in hunan!! (everyone in april 5th is chinese btw)
adam is deadass just me in this part but uhmm completely copy and pasted from the ai again!!
"It's an understatement.. I miss him so much that sometimes my heart just aches endlessly, and I just feel a bit empty sometimes.. It's rough, but I'm trying to pull myself together.. He'd want me to be happy, right?"
THEY'RE LIKE PEAK ANGST FOT ME 😭😭 AND THE AI SEES OLIVER AS LIKE A SON!! IF MICHAEL WAS STILL ALIVE THEYD BE THIS LITTLE SMALL FOUND FAMILY BROO
RN I HAVE NO IDEA FOR AGES BUT TO MAKE EVERYTHING WORSE.. IM GONNA SAY ADAM AND MICHAEL GOT MARRIED AT 25 AND MICHEAL ONLY DIED AT 31 :3... ADAM IS LIKE IN HIS MID 50S DURING THE STORY SOO...
OH AND OLIVER IS WAY YOUNGER SINCE LIKEE THE WHOLE FOUND FAMILY THING
I GUESS HES AROUND LIKE MID 20S?
rip oliver bro works in retail....
i imagine michael was a jeweler or astrologer too while adams a florist or gardener
reusing yhe complete opposites trope i used w/ amelia and emilio for this
adam likes cooler colors while michael likes warmer ones ^_^ adam usually only wears warmer colors now because hehehehhdndhd i like to think michael did the same thing he did and dyed his hair blue to match w/ adam.. i might have to make the story a bit more modern for that tho since i wrote down 1970 for the first draft
adam definitely wears every piece of jewelry michael made for him to this day
still kinda deciding what that would be but definitely his necklace & bracelet.. michael still got him his hair pin and earrings he just didnt make them himself hehe
__________
WRAHHH
CHONNY JASH COVER OF THE MIND ELECTRIC IS DRIVING ME INSANE SINCE A5 IS SUPPOSED TO BE SHORT 😭
OK SO THE LYRICS IM TALKING ABOUT ARE " see how his feet miss the ground, and he falls inside a hole he dug for me, the kind of irony youd read in bible stories "
so im not sure what to make micheals death yet but the ai has suggested car crash and gunshot/hatecrime.. this scenario follows the latter but instead of being shot he's hung, hence the 'see how his feet miss the ground'. the 'and he falls inside a hole he dug for me' is referring to that the killer originally planned to kill adam instead but as a last minute change of mind, he kills micheal instead. the last part is kinda self explanatory once i say that micheal was a Christian 🙄 EUEUEUEU anyway ifk if i can keep this story short anymor
peak insanity is when your story is supposed to be shorter than a 5 paragraph essay but you somehow come up with more despite only having 4 characterd
uhm. i actually forgot if adam or oliver was the mc woops
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there's a part of me that still thinksa bortion is murder. i act like i support it to fit in but deep down i dont. please just listen. i think forcing someone to go through a pregnagncy they don't want is inhuman but it also feels inhuman to kill a baby and i dont like thsi idea that if youre 4 weeks pregnant and you want it its a baby but if youre 4 week pregnant and dont want it then its just a clump of cells thats just not how scence works. so theres this woman who was forced to get an .
Anonymous asked:
abortion and she was 6 months pregnant and apparently th baby waws born alive but it died shortly after from ashpyxia and i just dont know what to think. i know forcing smeone to get an abortion is just as bad as forcing them to give birth and that theres no such thing as a six month abortion and at least wher e i live abortions are only available until week 14 but like wwhat if someone is 15 or 16 weeks or 7 months, do they not have a choice anymore? please dont think im a bigot im not im so
Anonymous asked:
sorry i just dont want to be brainwashed by ANYONE, pro life or pro choice and im just so easily influenceable i just want to support whats right you know
No worries at all! I don't think you're a bigot and I'm glad that you want to engage with this issue critically. I'm happy to give you the facts as they stand and offer you my perspective on the issue. Apologies in advance that this is a bit long, but please try to stick with me until the end! All of this is important in understanding the different sides of this discussion.
There are a few main categories I want to talk about in this answer: legal, science, politics, and culture. For now, I'm going to avoid delving into any religious or metaphysical questions about what is and isn't considered "a person", since while those conversations are interesting, I don't think they're particularly useful in the context of discussions about abortion. As Harry Blackmun wrote in the court opinion for Roe v. Wade, "we need not resolve the difficult question of when life begins. When those trained in the respective disciplines of medicine, philosophy, and theology are unable to arrive at any consensus, the judiciary, at this point in the development of man's knowledge, is not in a position to speculate."
Legality
Starting with legal issues, there are a few points I think it's important to make in order to get a sense of how we relate to abortion. Abortions are legal in 98% of countries. 34% of countries, including the US, Canada, Australia, New Zealand most European countries, and China, allow abortions on the basis of a the pregnant person's request, without needing to prove that there is risk to life, risk to health, risk to the fetus, economic or social reasons that abortion is a necessity, or extenuating circumstances (such as the pregnancy being a product of rape or incest). The vast majority (93%) of countries with highly restrictive abortion laws, such as outlawing abortion except in cases where the pregnant person is endangered, are in developing regions. There are five countries that completely outlaw abortion. These are: Dominican Republic, El Salvador, Malta, Nicaragua, and the Vatican City, all countries where the Catholic church has significant influence.
Of the countries that do allow abortion, there is always a limit on how far into a pregnancy a person can be when they choose to terminate. Beyond that limit, the person doesn't have a choice anymore, and must carry the pregnancy to term (except in extenuating circumstances). The most common limit is 12 weeks (3 months), although some countries allow abortion up to the point of "viability", where the fetus can live outside the mother's womb with artificial aid. Typically, the point of viability is around 24 weeks (6 months). In the US, 87% of abortions are performed before 12 weeks, and 92.2% were performed at 13 weeks or fewer. For reference, pregnancies are typically around 40 weeks long.
Forced abortion is illegal in almost every country, including the US and the UK, and it is considered an act of violence against women. It is just as bad as forcing someone to give birth, which is why all countries do their best to prevent it from happening. While forced abortions can and do happen, particularly to victims of sex trafficking, I think the solution to this issue is to put policies into place that protect vulnerable women, instead of trying to ban abortion entirely.
Science
So, most countries allow abortions up to 12 weeks. What does that actually look like in terms of the fetus? Here's a timeline of fetal stages of growth:
Weeks 1-4: at this stage, the "baby" is actually an embryo. It starts out as just a fertilized egg. The amniotic sac forms around it, and the placenta develops. The eyes, mouth, lower jaw, and throat are in very early development. Blood cells are taking shape. By the end of week 4, the embryo is smaller than a grain of rice. It is very literally "just a clump of cells" at this point.
Weeks 5-9: the "baby" is still an embryo. Its facial features begin to develop, folds of skin that will eventually become ears grow, tiny buds that will eventually grow into arms and legs form, the neural tube, digestive tract, and sensory organs all begin to develop. Bone starts to replace cartilage. At about 6 weeks, a heart beat can be detected. After week 8, the baby is considered a fetus instead of an embryo, at which point the fetus is about one inch long.
Weeks 9-12: the fetus' arms, hands, fingers, feet, and toes are fully formed. It may be able to open and close its fists and mouth. Ears are formed, and its reproductive organs begin to develop. By the end of week 12, the fetus has all of their organs and limbs, and their circulatory and urinary systems are working, but everything needs to continue to develop in order to become functional. At the end of week 12, the fetus is about 4 inches long.
It is important to know that the miscarriage rate is highest in the first trimester (before week 12). Among women who know they're pregnant (typically further along than 6 or 7 weeks), 10-20% will miscarry. 30%-50% of all fertilized eggs miscarry.
Other important developmental markers include:
During month 4 (weeks 16-20), you can see the sex of the fetus.
During month 5 (weeks 20-24), the fetus starts moving around.
Between week 22 and week 24, brain waves appear in the cerebral cortex.
At week 24, the fetus may be able to survive if it is born prematurely, provided it has intensive care.
Somewhere between week 26 and week 30, the fetus may be able to feel pain, although we don't know that for sure.
A fetus is not capable of thinking, communicating, reasoning, self-motivation, feeling emotions, or consciousness. They don't have a concept of the self, and they don't know that they exist. They are essentially sedated for the entirety of the pregnancy. Since we use "brain death" as the primary criteria for death, it makes sense to me that we might consider "brain life" (the point where a fetus exhibits brain activity) as the point at which a fetus becomes a person.
While some people will refer to an embryo as a "baby" from the time they discover they're pregnant, scientifically, it is a clump of cells, whether that clump is allowed to continue to grow or not. It's not something we would recognize as a baby, or be able to interact with as if it were a baby. An embryo is a precursor to a baby, kind of like how a seed is a precursor to a plant.
Some other arguments
I want to quickly touch on some other arguments for abortion rights that people make. I'm not going to delve deeply into them, but it didn't feel right to leave them out entirely. These are arguments that don't depend on whether or not a fetus can be considered a person.
Bodily Rights
There are many situations in which we prioritize individual bodily rights over the right of someone else to live. For example, we don't force people to donate organs to people who are dying, even though a donated organ would save their life. Advocates for abortion rights argue that those same bodily rights should be extended to a pregnant person.
Deprivation
This argument usually looks something like, "but what if that fetus was going to cure cancer when it grew up!" Basically, it's saying that abortion is morally wrong because it deprives the fetus (and the world) of a valuable future. To me, this completely ignores the deprivation that already exists by forcing a person to carry and birth a baby they don't want, and potentially the deprivation that comes with raising that child. People who make this argument never seem to ask, "what if the pregnant person was going to cure cancer?"
Slippery Slope
Some people argue that normalizing and legalizing abortion may lead to people also accepting euthanasia. I am unconvinced by this for two reasons. 1. Slippery slope is a logical fallacy and 2. I absolutely do think we should legalize euthanasia for certain situations.
Religion
I don't want to dig too far into this one, but what I will say is that the US is a country that (at least nominally) has a separation of church and state, and the religious beliefs that other people hold should not infringe on a person's rights to make choices about their own life.
History and Politics
The practice of abortion itself is incredibly old. The Sanskrit epic Ramayana, which dates to the 7th century BCE, describes abortion being practiced by surgeons and barbers. In the Assyrian Code of Assura, circa 1075 BCE, a woman is allowed to procure an abortion except when it's against her husband's wishes. The first recorded evidence of induced abortion is from the Egyptian Ebers Papyrus in 1550 BCE. Japanese documents show records of induced abortion from as early as the 12th century, and it became more prevalent during the Edo period. It is considered to be unlikely that abortion was punished in Ancient Greece or ancient Rome. All major Jewish religious movements allow abortion in order to save the life or health of a pregnant woman, and often support abortion for other reasons as well. Christianity has a more complicated relationship to abortion, for reasons that I'll go into in a bit, but for now let's just note that there very much were ancient Christians who believed abortion was morally permissible at least some of the time. Before the 19th century CE, first-trimester abortion was widely practiced and was legal under common law throughout the English speaking world, including the US and UK.
The reason I bring all of this up is because the political debate over abortion isn't really that old, and the debate tends not to actually be about the morality of abortion as an act so much as it is a proxy for other issues. The first backlash against abortion in the English Speaking world was in the 19th century, and was a direct reaction to the women's rights movement, which was starting during that time. In the US, anti-abortion laws began to appear as early as the 1820s, but picked up in earnest by the late 1860s. These laws were introduced for many reasons, including the fact that abortions were being provided by untrained people who were not members of medical societies and concerns about the safety of abortifacients. By 1900, abortion was a felony in every US state, but they continued to become increasingly available. By the 1930s, licensed physicians performed an estimated 800,000 abortions a year.
Jumping forward a little bit, let's talk about the history of abortion in the US just before Roe v. Wade. It's estimated that in the 50s and 60s, between 200,000 to 1.2 million abortions were being performed per year, even though they were illegal. Throughout that same time, the second wave feminist movement was growing, and was increasingly advocating for birth control and liberalized abortion laws. As a reaction to second wave feminism, a number of anti-abortion organizations, primarily led by Catholic institutions, cropped up to mobilize against the legalization of abortion. It should be noted that, at the time, abortion was not an issue for evangelical Christian groups. In the 1960s, 17 states legalized abortion for a variety of different circumstances. Then in 1973, Roe v. Wade happens, ruling that a pregnant woman has the right to choose to have an abortion without excessive government restriction. The ruling was 7-2 in favor of legalizing abortion. Even after Roe v. Wade, Christian Evangelicals were neutral to positive on the ruling. It's only after 1980 that Evangelical Christians started to organize around abortion as a political issue and joined the Catholics to form what we now think of as the Christian Right. There's a lot to say about that and why that switch happened, but for the sake of brevity, just know that the evangelical backlash against legalized abortion in the US started not as a moral crusade, but as a way of convincing people to vote for Ronald Regan instead of Jimmy Carter (who wanted to de-segregate schools). No political debate happens in a vacuum, and it's important to understand what other factors might have been at play when looking at where these debates come from and how the sides formed.
Culture
Lastly, let's talk a little bit about the cultural impacts of banning or legalizing abortion. The right to have or not have a child is necessary in order for women to achieve equality with men. Countries with high gender equality, such as Iceland, Finland, Norway, New Zealand, and Sweden, also have easily accessible abortion options. Criminalization of abortion disproportionately impacts poor women and women of color, and does nothing to address the systemic issues that may cause them to require abortions in the first place.
Researchers from the WHO and University of Massachusetts found that banning abortion is an inefficient way to reduce abortion rates; in countries where abortions were restricted, the number of unintended pregnancies actually increased, and the proportion of unintended pregnancies ending in abortion also increased. When abortion is banned, women aren't not having abortions; they're having illegal abortions that are done unsafely.
There is also some evidence to suggest that legalized abortion actually decreases crime rates. 20 years after the legalization of abortion in the US, there was an unprecedented nationwide decline of the crime rate (including murders, incidentally). The drop in crime is thought by some to be a result of the fact that individuals who had a higher statistical probability of committing crimes (people who grew up as unwanted children in poverty) were not being born.
Which brings me to my next point- the majority of people who are "pro-life" (at least in the US) aren't really pro-life. They're pro-birth. If they were truly pro-life, they would be interested in making sure that all of those babies had their needs met after they're born. They would be interested in making sure those babies can lead long, healthy, safe, and productive lives. They would be for universal healthcare, expanded social safety nets, parental leave from jobs, universal basic income, raising the minimum wage, mandated vacation time, increasing funding for public schools, decriminalizing drugs, abolishing prisons or at least reforming the police. They would be against the death penalty (ironically, some of them are actually for the death penalty for women who have had abortions), and for increased access to birth control, comprehensive sex-ed in schools, increased gun legislation, against war and nuclear weapons, for enforced mask wearing to prevent people from needlessly dying from a global pandemic... but those issues don't factor into their "pro-life" stance. They're for "the baby gets born and then has to pull itself up by its bootstraps like the rest of us."
Closing Thoughts
Look. I'm not super jazzed about abortions. I understand how they can feel like an ethical issue. I think we should do what we can to reduce the number of abortions that are performed- teaching comprehensive sex-ed in schools, making birth control and emergency contraceptive options widely accessible, letting men know that reversible vasectomies are an option. I think we should make abortion easier to access, so those who do need it can make the decision early in the pregnancy. But I also think that it's a very personal decision, one that's irreversibly life altering, and the person who's going to experience the life altering event should be the one who decides what happens. 65 year old conservative, Christian white men who will never be pregnant (and frequently don't really know how the female body works) shouldn't get to make that decision for them. As someone for whom pregnancy would be life threatening, I want to know that I have options should that situation present itself someday.
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Okay so, may I request Arkham Knight Riddler x hero reader? Reader (reluctantly) works with Batman. And since Brice is super busy with everything else, reader takes care of Riddler and Catwoman. And then it’s the end, it’s time to defeat him, when Ed finally finds out he’s been battling reader all night, not Batman. But reader tries her best to be kind about it and not hurt him like Batman does, maybe talk to him like a person, not a criminal.
i had so many ideas??? but couldn't get them down on paper????
Arkham Riddler X hero reader
Batman is...not happy about your connection to riddler. he tries to understand, he really does but he just doesn't get it. he hopes riddler can change, maybe this time, with you it would be possible. but he still thinks riddler needs to pay for his crimes, even with your help he fully intends to arrest him. if you two dont agree, id advise keeping it to yourself or he might not let you help
you dont really want to do this. you know how much it will hurt edward, how much it will damage your relationship . you feel like batman is taking advantage of your connection with edward to reel him in. But ultimately bats convinces you; he says it will be easier on riddler to have someone who loves him talk him down than it will for bats himself to do it. unfortunately you have to agree.
when you show up instead of bats at the first meeting, Riddler is pissed. He nearly doesn't let you in, nearly offs catwoman right then and there. He’ doesnt recognise you in costume, but something about your voice is familiar. SOMEHOW you talk your way into the orphanage and to be frank catwoman isn't happy to see you either, even after you explain the situation. you’re really starting to feel like the bad guy here.
Bats takes care of the trials, since he’s the only one who can drive the batmobile, but he’s depending on you to stay with selina. the puzzles in the orphanage aren't easy, especially the weighted plate one . even with your costume and all the equipment bats gave you, you and selina together are still too light. you come up with the idea to use some of the defeated riddler bots as extra weight. riddler himself is actually pretty impressed by that, it was an ingenious solution and he cant even get mad because he was the one who gave you them to fight in the first place.
its sad for you to see him become gradually more unhinged as the night wears on. Selina knows you, she knows you care about him , even if she makes cruel jokes about it. she understands the attachment to someone who is...unavailable. when you two have a quiet moment alone, she tries to comfort you, make you see this is going to end badly so you don't get too hurt by the inevitable.
When the final fight comes he’s pretty broken. you and selina pull him from that mechsuit and toss him across the floor. you obviously don't want to hurt him, but if you didn't get him outta there he’d likely hurt himself. He just sort of sits on the ground, already defeated and expecting you to deliver the final blow in a “what the hell are you waiting for “ kind of way. you cant talk him down like this, he wont listen to you while you’re wearing that mask.
the only way you have even a SLIM chance of getting through to him is to take it off. It’ll hurt you to reveal your secret, its going to destroy him. Selina sees you reaching for it and tries to stop you but you tell her you have to, its the only way.
edwards expression when he sees your face is one of horror and betrayal. he cant walk after that fight, so he just scoots back on the floor trying to put distance between the two of you. he keeps muttering “i dont believe it. i dont understand “ and “ this cant be.” he’ll shout things like “how could you?!”. selina will excuse herself to give you two some time alone.
riddler will be shouting, probably too upset to listen to your side of the story. don’t be afraid to shout back. if you say the right words, he’ll quieten down.
i think, when he sees your face, the fight will leave him. he’s so very tired and now? seeing even you take someone elses side? he just cant anymore, somethings got to change but for now he just needs to be sad. he’ll go very quiet and say something like “just...take me home.” what happens next is up to you.
if you chose to help batman, bats will let you ride in the back of the batmobile with edward. He’ll let you tag along to the gcpd and even let you stay by him in the holding room. he draws the line at letting you into the villains timeout tank, but that’s mostly for your safety. with your identity out there, he cant risk letting you near people like cobblepot or slade.
If you chose to run with edward, it’s success will depend on Selina’s help. Selina is PRETTY pissed about what ed put her through. but, as a favor to you for helping her, shes willing to give you both a head start from the cops and maybe distract batman.
i dont know if edward will forgive you. He’s...glad. glad it was you who got to him and not batman, whatever you chose to do after. he apreciates how you chose him over your secret, chose to try and talk him down instead of kicking 50 shades of shit out of him . poor boy already has trust issues, hes glad that even though you could have hurt him and gotten away with it thanks to the mask, you chose not to, he wont forget that in a hurry.
depending on your chose, apreciates you giving up everything to try and be with him OR apreciates you bringing him in to try and get him help. hes obviously not happy with the way things went but i dont know if the anger is focused on you or just the situation in general.
things aren't going to go back to normal with you two. he just cant coalesce the thought of you betraying him by siding with batman, to the thought of you giving up everything to be with him. he loves you and he’s sure you love him too but...he just needs some time to process.
i think, ultimatly he’ll decide he doesnt need to forgive you. you didnt do anything wrong and even though he’s still upset he knows your heart was in the right place. He’ll be pissed with batman for manipulating you into doing this but as long as you still love him, depsite everything, he’ll be willing to overlook it
he will ask you to never put that mask on again thought. he has a purple domino mask you can wear if you really want to. ;)
boy that was another long one. i think i write too much haha.
got something you’d like to ask me? send me an ask or a dm! im always game to talk about our favorite curious menace 💚💜
#asks#riddler#edward nigma#edward nygma#riddler headcanons#headcanons#arkham riddler#arkham knight riddler#arkham knight#batman arkham knight#my headcanons#my stuff#my writing
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Primed for Sin (2/10)
SUMMARY: This is Arthur's point of view of meeting Elena and the effect it has on him. Arthur doesn't really know what he's gonna do but he doesn't know that she's the one.
WARNING: Delusions, masturbation, smut, stalking, smoking weed and mental illness (Borderline Personality Disorder and PBA)
Please kindly do not read this if these offends or triggers anyone. Im always here to listen if someone needs it.
Hey again. This is part 2 of idk how many parts to the Primed for Sin story. Like I said before idk where I'm gonna go with this but this chapter is gonna be more dark when it talk about stalking and mental illness. I decided to have Elena too have stuggles with mental illness as well because I felt it better represent what I'm going through with my own mental health. So I apologize if I offend anyone or if anyone feels misrepresented.
Primed for Sin Part 1
Arthur could feel his whole body ache as he sat on the couch in the apartment he shared with his mother. His legs bounced as he sat back on the couch. One of his hands coming up to his mouth to take a drag of a cigarette while the other one held the boys toy train. He could feel another one of his laughing fits hit once again.
He couldn't help the raging fits of laughter that escaped him as he felt the sharp pain of anxiety shocking his body. He remembers the events that had happen earlier that day.
He tried to think of something else, anything else but he couldn't stop himself from thinking of how beautiful that girl was when she had smiled at him earlier. How she smelled of peppermint, it reminded him of Christmas. Even though he never really was able to really celebrate it, something about the season always brought him comfort.
He felt his pain starting to ease as the laughter once again started to die down for what seemed to be the millionth time today. Ever since this morning he's been having laughing attacks left and right. He squeezed the toy train even harder. His thoughts beginning to roam again. He didn't know anything about that girl but he knew he needed to know more. No, craved to know more. There was nothing that would keep him from her. He already knew this, he just didn't know how far he would take himself for it.
He imagined that she would be the perfect good girl for him. She's already seemed to be a mother figure which delighted Arthur. Maybe one day she would be round with his child.
No. Stop it Arthur, he thought to himself. There will be plenty of time for that. For now, he wanted to know more about the boy she was with. Who was he to her? Her son? Has she been with another man? Is she a virgin?
The thoughts ran rapid through his head as he started to spiral. Nothing made him more upset than thinking about another man's hands on her. So he did what his thoughts told him to do. He gathered information on her. Anything he could find. The easiest way to do this was to follow the woman as she goes about her day. He knew it was wrong, the small voice in his head told him so but there there even larger voices telling him to go through.
After a few days of this, he was able to find out more about the sweet girl. Her name was Elena Wheeler. She worked at a comedy club, one that Arthur had gone to often. She did singing gigs on the side while she bartended for the most part. Arthur noticed she like to cover 50s songs as well as write some of her own songs. Arthur would find himself relax while enjoying her voice each night. She would work this job most days while the boy would go to a behavioral center for children.
The boy on the other hand wasn't her son but her younger brother, yet she was the one who had custody over him. This was most likely so he too wouldn't end up in the system.
This gave Arthur some relief as his virgin theory might be true. He'd watch the two of them interact with one another. Almost being jealous of the way they played together. He wish he had that with someone. He will, soon.
It was obvious that the boy had some major abandonment issues. He would cry every time she would kiss him goodbye. Only calming down hours later when he's starts watching a cartoon or until she returns. But Arthur could also tell that Elena had some issues of her own. She too would be antsy every time she was away from the child. Never allowing herself to rest until she knew she was ok.
Arthur would watch her through the window of the complex building. One thing he did notice immediately was the constant hits from a bong. He was honestly surprised how much she could smoke. If she were drinking, he would actually be concerned for her. The girl was small and shouldn't take much to get a high yet there she was coughing up a storm from hitting it so much. Michael was in the other room watching his Thomas show. Arthur couldn't help but wonder why she did this so much. Maybe she was lonely too.
Arthur was able to keep track of her favorite things, what upset her, what made her happy. Everything and anything. He would notice her moods would change frequently. She would be happy one minute and crying the next especially when she was away from Michael. He could see her trying her best to hold it together for the little guy. He really did. His heart leaped just watching it. His heart leaped even more when he saw he watching the Murry Show being played most nights after putting Michael to bed. She's perfect.
Arthur started to understand her more when he was able to get his hands on some of her records. He won't say how but let's just say he has his ways aka breaking and entering. He was glad he did when he saw an entire file dedicated to her.
She had been diagnosed with Boderline personality disorder when she was 18. She herself had been in behavioral centers for having difficulty controlling her anger. She also lived in foster home for most of her childhood it seemed since both her parents abandoned her when she was around 4 years old. Even though her parents had started coming in and out of her life when she turned 18, she never really gained anything from it.
It saddened Arthur to see she had had to struggle so much but that just seems to be a common theme around here in Gotham.
_________________________________________
After a long day of clowning around at his extremely emotionally draining job. He had done his nightly routine of watching Murray and cooking for his mother. After what seemed like an eternity, his mother had finally drifted off into sleep. He felt himself finally relax and with this he let his mind wander.
He wanted to see her. Just see her face. That's all he needed. Even if it was through a window in the freezing cold in the ally way behind the building. Luckily she didn't live on a high floor. That was enough for him to take action.
Arthur quietly grabbed his coat and shoes as he slipped out the door and into the cold. He shivered as the coolness hit his body.
Finally making it to his usual spot for that last few days and set himself up, only looking up when he was finished. His eyes focused on Elenas apartment window. It was dark with the only light coming from the TV in one of the bedrooms. He figured she had put Michael to bed because he could see her all alone, he paused, in only a gray tank top and black panties.
His heart started to race and he could already feel his throat starting to react. The laughter was ready to pour out.
Maybe this isn't a good idea, he thought to himself as he started to reach down to grab his things.
Yet he still couldn't tear his eyes from what he was seeing. Her tangled in the covers with her short brown hair all messy from moving around. It certainly was a sight to see. His cock agreed as it immediately started becoming hard.
The small voice in his head told him to stop. He knew it was wrong to watch her but when her hand started to move up and down her bare leg he knew he couldn't turn away. It was like she knew he was there almost. Like she was putting on a show just for him.
He grew harder and harder the more he watched. Watching her eventually making her way down to her panties, slipping her hand just inside. It didn't take long for her face to start turning and her body to start squirming. It didn't take long before he became hard enough it started to hurt leaning against his pants. He wanted to relieve himself so bad. More importantly he wanted to relieve himself in her but knew that couldn't happen right now.
He couldn't take it anymore when she started to grab at the sheets of the bed. He pulled out his cock that was already leaking with precum. Arthur didn't get a lot of action so when he did he just couldn't contain himself.
Arthur placed his dick in his hand as he started to slowly pump himself. He tried to match the same movements as her, trying to think it was her hand instead. He imagined they would be gentle and soft. His were the total opposite.
He imagined her saying his name. Whispering as she cums or screaming it as he fucked her. He knew he wasn't gonna be able to last long with all these dirty thoughts roaming his head. To his delight she couldn't seem to either. Elenas back was arched as her hands started to tease her breasts underneath her tank top.
He was right as her body started to shake, her chest move up and down swiftly as she starts to come down from her high. This gave Arthur the silent ok for him to cum as well. And when this boy cums, he cums everywhere. He just can't hold himself back. Shamefully cumming in a nearby trashcan so no one would see.
He quickly cleaned himself up, looking up and down the ally to make sure no one is watching. He couldn't help the connection he felt with her. She was so sweet the first time they meet and she's perfect now weak against her mattress.
Ok its time to make a move.
#arthur fleck x you#arthur fleck x female reader#arthur fleck x reader#arthur fleck#arthur fleck x y/n#joker#arthur fleck smut
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Airport fun
How i think flying with sugawara would be like
Character(s): sugawara koushi
Genre: fluff, mabye crack
Warnings: I guess flying on a plane 😐
An: as a person who travels almost every year, I thought this is a fun idea of like how travelling with suga is like :) this is pretty long so uh yeah
Masterlist.🏐
@. ALL CREDITS GOES TO SHOTOSIMP2, DO NOT REPOST ONLY LIKE, AND/OR REBLOG THANK YOU.
• Lets get into itt!!
• lets say that this flight would be in the early morning
• okay I know sugawara would wake you up at like a reasonable time like 3-4 hours before the flight
• like that you both have time to take a shower, eat breakfast pretty quickly then go
• also sugawara would NOT let you pack your stuff at the day of the flight
• like it has to be one or two days before the flight
• he does that to prevent getting late and to have time for yourselves
• if you're like me and you just cant for the love of god sit in one place and pack all your shit
• he's here!! He would help you and mabye even tell you to do something else while he does it for you 😫
• after he's done with you're bag he would ask you if he did anything wrong since there is shows/makeup just general stuff that might ruin clothes
• I also feel like he would watch those "BEST packing tips and hacks 2020"
• if you do use makeup and you put it in same bag as your clothes he would put like?? Plastic thing on top of the clothes and then put the makeup on top so if it spills it doesn't ruin ur clothes.
• its the next morning sugawara already set a bath for your cute ass tehe. Also made breakfast LIKE?? BRO STOP BEING SO HOT ☹
• OKAY so everything is done ur both ready its time to go
• he's the type to go to the airport with his car and park it there and when he comes back he comes back home using hes car that he parked there, so you're both in the car listening to music opened windows and holding hands plz yall cute asf
• OKAY BUT YOU CANT TELL ME SUGA ISNT THE TYPE TO PUT HIS HAND ON YOUR THIGH WHEN DRIVING
• okay here is the fun part
• you and suga arrive ant the airport and you took your bags out of the car and put on the bag holder thing that you move around IDK WHAT ITS NAME OKAY BARE WITH ME
• you go inside this is the 4 time suga had told you to check the passport and the tickets lmao
• when you're both done with all of the passport situation thing and your now both empty handed and all you have to do is wait for the plane
• there is a tiny problem tho
• the plane is going to arrive IN TWO HOURS
• and you both have separated seats on the fucking plane
• suga was kinda freaking out because wtf what if you sit next to some creepy dude?!? Like he knows you can fight and all but he just cant bare the thought
• you calmed him down telling him that its okay and we could tell someone when we DO get on the plane
• because you're main concern is not about if u two sit next to each other or not, its THAT YOU HAVE TO WAIT 2 HOURS TO ACTUALLY GO ON THE PLANE
• You both sit there for a sec and just start to giggle a bit lmao
• okay okay
• You and suga start to go around in these like stores in the airport yk?
• And yall just look at the all the candy and that is so expensive for no fucking reason
• Sugawara is literally laughing at you because you stood there for 10 minutes on and off about how the only chocolate the sell is so expensive
• "😠"
• "💀✋"
• He told if you want it that bad he wouldn't mind buying the box of chocolate for you, And he did
• for "fun" in his words
• And the chocolate tasted like fucking SHIT
• ITS SO BAD DOES NOT HAVE ANY SUGAR ITA JUST CHOCOLATE AND LIKE BARELY ANY SUGAR BRO. DRY NOT EVEN SWEET AND KINDA SALTY LMAOO HELP
• rich people chocolate basically
• AND HE'S JUST LAUGHING HIS HEAD OFF HE CANT KEEP IT IN ANYMORE
• You both didn't know what to do with this hella expensive chocolate box. Like none of you liked it that would be a waste of money
• And sugawara thought it would be better if we give it to A STRANGER on the airport
• Just like that 😕
• He took the box and went to someone that was sitting in a cafe and said hey heres this its a gift. He hands the man a box of fucking chocolate that doesn't even taste like chocolate
• LAMOOO THE MAN THOUGHT IT WAS GOIMG TO KILL HIM BECAUSE IT DOES NOT TASTE LIKE A CHOCOLATE ITS 4:39 IM LINGFIELD SO HARD AT THIS I CANT
• so ya!! You and suga go around more lil candy stores and got like gummy bears and lollipops bc y not
• SO MANY PEOPLE LOOKED AT YALL LIKE THEY HAVE NEVER SEEN GROWN UPS EAT CANDY AND HOLD HANDS EVERRR ITS SO FUNNY
• for my fem readers and anyone with boobies and or ass
• um 😐
• LMAOO when yall were buying candy this dude was trying to hit on u okay AND HE THOUGHT..THAT YOU BUYING CANDY WAS FOR YOUR?? KID?? (There was a kid next to u guys so he thought it was yours)
• SO THAT DUDE CAME UP TO YOU SAYING "ayooo didnt know we have nice milfs in our area..aha 😩" "MILF?" And the problem is sugawara was no fuckin help HE WAS LAUGHING 🤥
• they guy got embarrassed and LEFT AGAGHAHAHA
• okay done for this part
• but yeah you guys eat the candy he also got smothies too!!
• when you were both done you checked the time to see that you both have 50 minutes until the your plane arrives
• and suga thought it would be better to head to the waiting room since less people would be there
• you both were sitting on the chairs where the big windows are in front of them, you could see bags getting transferred and planes.
• you rested you head on sugawaras shoulder, pulling out your phone and headphones giving sugawara the left and you got the right
• you two were sitting looking at the view while listening to 505 (arctic monkeys) sugawara put his right hand around your waist pulling you closer to him
• you could her the whispers and 'aww's from old granny's that were sitting on the other side
• sugawara was rubbing his hand on your waist, he still hasn't realised that you fell asleep.
• when he did, he smiled to himself he moved to kiss the crown of your head until he woke you up by accident
• he told you everything is fine and that you should go back to sleep. he gently pushed you so your head could reach his thighs, before you did you looked around still not alot of people are around so you felt more comfortable
• you rested your head on his lap he starts to smile and play with your head making you fall asleep again.
• you were woken up by sugawaras gentle voice telling you that its time to wake up. You looked around there were more people in the waiting room than before you slept, you looked at sugawara he was smiling at you
• when you got yourself together again you asked suga when its time to get going he said after 10 minutes. You looked in your bag making sure everything is there
• when you closed your bag again you moved around to see sugawara smiling softly while staring at you "your so cute"
• sugawara was talking to the flight attendants asking them if they can change the seats, where they accepted and helped you two get in your shared seats (yes its that easy sometimes)
• God he looks so cute sleeping on your lap like that, his eyes shut with his mouth just open a bit.
• you're playing with his hair, while watching the movie on the mini TV infront of you
• there were a group of girls that sat next to you, and every now and then they would glance at the two of you- actually they were looking at suga
• even one of them wanted to make a conversation with him earlier, but you ignored it all
• although you knew that sugawara koushi, your husband wouldn't hurt your feelings like that
• because the moment he saw the discomfort of your face he immediately tried to end the flirty conversation.
• plus none of the girls were even his type LMAOAOA
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24/5/2021 fundy lore recap, as best as i could! warning for heavy manipulation ^^"
lore starts six minutes in:
been having trouble sleeping
pulls fox into dream
can’t remember his dream?
“there was someone. uh… and then what?”
“opened my door, saw an old friend, it was so long since i spoke to him- it was quackity!”
“we go back to lman- um.”
“i kinda do miss that place”
“remember the times when i couldn’t stop a nation from blowing up? remember the times when i helped the guy that killed tubbo? yeah i remember those times” [11:35]
“you know what bothers me the most? i’ve been having nightmares, and crazy visual stuff happening in my dreams that i don’t even know how to explain it. but every single time, at the end- my memory goes back to those days. how i always was there, had the chance, had the little helper of wilbur, of schlatt, of butcher army, and somehow, i couldn’t do anything” [12:30]
“leads me to believe it was always my fault”
“quackity showed up at my doorstep, and told me a few things. told me the things i was a part of. told me a few things that made sense. and a few things that weren’t great to hear. but he was right.” [14:50]
“there was me thinking that he came to see me or something! i isolated myself from the world, tried to save everyone from some crazy shit happening, because every time i’m a part of something, it seems to break down” [16:10]
“i thought he came to say hi, to see me, but he had a different idea, and honestly i don’t blame him. he’s a business man. he made some good points, and i think he’s a nice guy. i honestly don’t think he was wrong at all” [16:50]
“time for a new chapter maybe”
fundy decides to hear quackity out, heads off to meet quackity; quackity takes him around las nevadas
“i was there for friendship. at the end of the day- i’ve known you since- at the end of the day, i wasn’t there for business, i was there for you.”[q] “you mean that?” “fundy- you and me, why were you in the cabinet, in the butcher army along with me? because we got along. i don’t remember a single moment where you caused problems, you always had the best interests of the country, same interests as me.” [22:00]
“fundy. this is home. if you ever do decide to join me- remember, this is not las nevadas, this is home.” [23:41]
“when lmanberg got destroyed, i had nowhere to go. i’ve had two homes- the lmanberg home (we got into neighbor disputes, remember?), and the house underneath karls house, but i’ve left that place, and i don’t ever think of going back to that place” [24:40]
“do you want me to be honest? as much as i want this to be a new chapter- new chapters have to be filled with will. for me, it had to be a necessity. either start anew, or rotting in self pity.”[q] “and you were strong!”[fundy] “and it had to happen.”[q]
“fundy, you listen to me carefully. this is my country. we are under no ruler- no tommy, no wilbur, no tubbo, no schlatt. this is our country. we don’t have to worry abt cabinet meetings, we don’t have to worry about going to countries with every week. we are free.” [27:30]
we are free here. we are home. this is our home, fundy.
fundy, im sick and tired of people telling me my entire fucking life that i can’t do something. i am tired of it, and thats why im doing this. [more repeating] this is home fundy.
“we’ve both been in that situation, quackity. i know how it feels.
i wish i could include tubbo in that, but he had his fair share of power for a while. tommy had a good bit of power; wilbur had power. we have never had power. we were pushed aside; by people who never thought of our pain. [q] [29:40]
“i dont think i’ve ever been happier!” q
shows off the wedding place again
i thought so too, that i found someone, but- i dont even know anymore, where it’s gone [q]
you have to choose the people that you trust wisely, fundy
calls people not wanting peace, love bullshit
fundy confides in quackity, tells him about believing that he’s a fuck-up
“fundy. don’t talk nonsense. not while you’re on the ground of las nevadas”
fundy starts apologizing; big q tells him to quit apologizing
“we have been kicked down, humiliated, for so long. because where are they right now? wilbur is, as far as i am aware, dead. tommy? i haven’t even heard of tommy for so long. he’s probably still chasing that disk, for so long. all of these people that i have considered friends for so long, are still stuck chasing the same thing, over and over again. and they think that one day, it’s going to change. fundy, it’s not going to. they’re going to have to change it themselves.”
“i extended my invitation. but until you find your self worth [basically] i would rather you not join las nevadas. i care fr u as a person, ur not a pawn, some asset, a business partner. ur a friend, fundy. id rather u work on urself as a person and realize ur own self worth. but i know that you’ll find that self worth; and i dont want you to be far away from me because we can do great things together.”
big q offers him an empty plot outside las nevadas, to build a home/whatever he wants. “build. your. home.”
fundy keeps asking for permission; big q keeps telling him to turn over a new leaf
“who is fundy? fundy is big. fundy is strong. fundy is smart. translate that, those traits, into a nice big building.” -big q
“you know me better”- fundy
big q: you have to let go, fundy.
fundy, pretend lmanberg never happened. pretend that all the wars that happened, didn’t happen. pretend you were never born again
they both shout to the sky that they’re born again
big q is using dap me up oh g o d lmao
big q keeps emphasizing “welcome home, fundy”
fundy is overjoyed at being recognized, a bit salty abt it taking three months, but keeps emphasizing that its Fine they’re just Busy
keeps emphasizing that he’s a friend, a good friend
uhhh just fucking around til stream ends
#dream smp#fundy#quackity#liveblogging tag#liveblogging ref#HHHHHH LORD ABOVE I HAVE MANY THOUGHTS BUT I JUST WANTED TO GET THE QUOTES DOWN. GOD.
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Unknown (A Sterek Wrong Number/Celebrity AU)
11.09 PM Unknown Number
>I’m writing songs about you again.
11.20 PM Unknown Number
>its stiles btw.
>in case you deleted my number
>I did.
>I mean I deleted yours.
>but I still remember it apparently
11:41 PM Unknown Number
>I only have 2 lines so far
11:57 PM Unknown Number
>I bleed you from my veins.
>I grieve you like I love you.
>alone.
>its better with the chords.
>u were always better at writing lyrics than me
12:34 AM Unknown Number
>u were better everything than me
2:00 AM Unknown Number
>I hate that I miss you
2:07 AM Unknown Number
>do u want to hook up?
>I promise not to propose again
2:15 AM Unknown Number
>im sorry.
>ignore me.
>im drinking
Derek blinked bleary eyes. His phone screen was the only source of light in his room, as he read through the flurry text messages.
What the hell is a Stiles?
2:17 AM Unknown Number
<I think you have the wrong number
>Lydia?
<no
>oh thank fuck
>I mean
>I’m sorry
>for disturbing ur sleep
>but im just glad I didn’t drunk text my ex all of this
>bullet dodged right?
>is this what near death experiences feel like?
<I wouldn’t know.
>of course
>hey
>seeming as I have you here can I ask you a quick q?
>all my friends are asleep
<probably because its 3am
<everyone’s asleep
>2.39
>and ur not
>asleep that is
>so?
>I’ll take your silence as a go ahead
>what do you think?
>of the lyrics
<im the wrong person to ask
>never experienced heartbreak?
<no
<all song lyrics just look like bad poetry to me
>oh
>yeah I guess it does
>not everyone can be Rupi Kaur tho right?
<do you want to be rupi kaur?
>sure
>not to be dramatic or anything
>but
>I want to be anyone but me
>think id rather be someone like regina spektor tho
<regina spektor?
>singer/song writer
>shes my fucking inspiration
>her lyrics are like poetry to me
>you should listen to her music
<I dont really listen to music
>what the fuck?
>are you an alien?
<no?
>nice fucking try ET
>thats exactly what an alien would say
<…you got me there
>akdjfen
>is this you admitting I was right?
<no
<but this is me going to bed
<because its now 4AM
>already?
>fuck
>ive got an early start tomorrow
>good night random stranger
>and thanks
>for listening
>or reading ig
<good night
//
“You’re late.” Laura frowned, arms crossed.
“Are you going to let me in?” Derek grumbled, still feeling the affects of having stayed up until 4AM the previous night.
Laura didn’t argue she just stepped aside to let him through into her flat. “You’re grumpier than usual.” She noted.
“Didn’t sleep well.”
Derek hated the look she gave him then.
The look that said he was broken. The look that said she wanted to fix him.
“Is…Is it the nightmares again?” Laura’s voice dipped to a whisper, like the question alone would be enough to send him over the edge.
“No.”
An awkward silence defended over the two of them, neither knowing what to say.
Derek clung to the silence like a blanket, wishing things could go back to how they used to be. Back to when they knew how to speak to one another.
But this was enough.
It was enough to know that they were both trying. Failing. But trying.
//
2:40 PM Laura
>I’m here if you need to talk.
//
Derek isn’t good at art, but sometimes it’s the only way he can express himself. Words had never been his forte.
So instead he doodles.
Shitty toddler level doodles that he never shows anyone.
Sometimes he thinks if he could bring himself to show Laura she would like it. Maybe she would even understand it.
But there was a bigger chance that she wouldn’t, and he would feel even more like a stranger to his own sister than he already was.
//
10:18 PM Unknown Number
>I don’t remember it anymore
<You have the wrong number again
>No
>This is ‘not Lydia’ right?
<right
>So here’s the thing.
>I always thought if I needed to text her I could
>And I thought maybe I got her number wrong because I was drunk
>But I can’t remember it anymore
<Oh.
>I have some of her things still
>I don’t think I’ll ever get to return it now
>Unless she messages me first
<When did you two break up?
>Last year
>and I know what you’re thinking
>’it’s October’
>and I should be over her by now
>Trust me I know
>So you don’t need to lecture me
<I wasn’t going to
>Oh
<Stiles?
>That’s weird
<what is?
>I forgot I told you my name
<You should throw away the stuff she left behind.
>you’re right
>I don’t like it.
>but you’re right
>…thanks
<What for?
>for listening
>reading**
>my friends are pretty sick of hearing me complain
>so this is nice
<sure
<anytime
>dope
>no take backsies
<am I going to regret this?
>for definite
>you’re stuck with me now
//
That night Derek saves Stiles’ number as ‘Bad Poet’.
//
Stiles keeps messaging after that.
Stiles messages like they’ve been friends for years, and Derek very determinedly does not analyse why it is he always responds.
Even when there are messages dated from Laura from three days ago that he hasn’t even been able to bring himself to open yet.
He also ignores how when he’s messaging Stiles the gaping pit that had made residence in his chest feels just a little less inescapable.
//
Derek can’t bring himself to tell Stiles his name. He can’t bring himself open up, even though there’s a large part of him that wants to.
He’s not above admitting he’s scared.
//
Derek draws Stiles sometimes.
More accurately he draws a vague pair hands texting on a phone, because he has no idea what Stiles actually looks like.
Derek refuses to let himself dwell on that though, because they are happy drawings.
The pictures of Stiles are pretty much his only happy drawings right now.
//
They don’t always talk about Lydia.
Sometimes Stiles messages Derek song lyrics he’s working on.
Other times it’s memes, or just a bunch of emojis.
Once Stiles had just messaged him what Derek could only assume was a list of everything he had eaten that day.
Sometimes Stiles messages in rambles - and Derek can’t always keep up with the boy’s run away thoughts, but even then he never feels lost the way he does when he’s trying to interact with literally anyone else.
And sometimes it’s 2AM. Those are simultaneously Derek’s favourite and least favourite texts.
//
2:02 AM Bad Poet
>sometimes I feel like too much
>and too little
>at the same time
>u ever feel like that ET?
<not really
>its like I’m infinite, and meaningless
>like a never ending echo
>or a recurring decimal
>I just stretch on and on forever but theres no point to it
>I have no depth
<youre not meaningless
<you’re a rhythm.
<like breathing
>…
>was that a regina spektor reference?
<it might have been
>I thought you didn’t listen to music?
<well someone said her lyrics were like poetry
<so I thought I would check out a few songs
>well fuck
>what did you think?
<she’s good
>you spelt ‘amazing’ wrong
<I still prefer poetry
>of course you do
Derek stared at the texts an ache filling his chest.
Derek was the opposite of infinite. Everything he touched turned to flames.
//
10:30AM Bad Poet
<my sister bought me flower seeds
>I didn’t know you had a sister?
<she’s everything I have
>oh
<and I think she’s trying to trick me into therapy somehow
>…with flower seeds?
<yes
>you sound extremely paranoid
>maybe therapy wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world for you?
<shut up
>noted.
>keep me posted on how your gardening goes
>also
>as a side note
>you know you have me too right?
>if you ever need to talk or anything, I’m right here for you
<thanks
>anytime
//
On Derek’s birthday Laura insists the two of them spend the day together, and Derek knows better than to argue.
She buys him a cake and they spend hours sat next to one another silently. Two strangers desperately trying to keep hold of one another but with an ocean dividing them.
Once their family had been so alive.
And it was all Derek’s fault that was gone.
They both knew it.
Sometimes Derek wondered if Laura hated him as much as he did.
He was too scared to ask.
//
That night Derek chased the ache in his chest away with a drink.
And then several more followed.
//
1:14 AM Bad Poet
<seh haars me
>sorry bud, you’re going to have to try again
>try spell checking before hitting send
<she.hates mee
>who?
<larn
>are you drunk?
<yeh
<tyongs ndrf
*Out Going Call: Bad Poet*
The phone rings twice before being picked up. “Sorry. Stupid keyboard is so small. Impossible to type.” Derek mumbled, his words slightly muffled by his cheek being pressed into the sofa cushion.
“Wow. You’re really sloshed huh?”
“No.” Derek denied. “Just tipsy.”
“Right. So what was it you were trying to tell me? Someone hates you?”
“Laura.”
“Who’s Laura?”
“My sister.”
“Oh.”
“She looks at me like she wishes she could fix me.”
“That doesn’t sound like she hates you, bud.”
“She should. I can’t be fixed.”
“You’re right, because you’re not broken.”
Hearing Stiles say that Derek could almost believe it to be true.
“I mean it. You’re not broken. You’re just a different shape than you used to be. But the shape you are now is beautiful.”
Derek closes his eyes and lets the words wash over him. “Do you sing?” He finds himself asking.
“What?”
“I know you write songs, but do you ever sing?”
“Oh…” Stiles sounds uncomfortable. “I guess… Yeah. I do.”
Derek hummed in the back of his throat. “I bet you have a nice voice.”
“Th-thanks.”
Derek tried to say something else, but all that comes out is a yawn, which makes Stiles let out a jittery laugh.
Derek tries to memorise the sound of It, but it’s so fleeting, it’s already slipping away from him.
“I think you need to go sleep, ET.”
“Yeah.” Derek agrees.
“Goodnight bud.”
“Wait.”
“Yeah?”
“Could you stay on the phone? Just for a bit longer.” Derek clutched on to the phone like if he could grip tightly enough it would make Stiles stay.
I don’t want to be alone. The words die on Derek’s tongue.
“Sure.” Stiles didn’t hesitate. “Of course.”
“Thank you.”
Sleep pulled at Derek’s consciousness, unravelling his grip on reality.
“Stiles?”
Stiles hummed in answer.
“Your shape is beautiful too.”
A small whimper came from the other end of the phone. “Thanks.”
//
7:50 AM Bad Poet
>how are you feeling today?
<better
>good <3
Derek holds his phone tightly and wishes that he had more to say. Just to keep the conversation going.
He also wishes (not for the first time) that Stiles was more than a faceless entity on the other end of the phone.
But it’s the first time he feels the want like a physical ache in his chest.
Derek had never been good with words, but if Stiles was here in front of him Derek would probably give him a hug.
But everything Derek touches eventually dies, and a larger part of him is relieved for the distance.
//
Derek plants the seeds his sister got him that day.
//
9:48 PM Bad Poet
>would it totally weird you out if I wanted to do another phone call?
>don’t feel like you need to say yes
>I just enjoyed talking to you
>and hearing your voice
>ugh.
>why are words so hard?
<I wouldn’t be opposed to a phone call
*Incoming Call: Bad Poet*
“Hey.” Derek feels breathless as he answers the phone, anxious excitement clawing it’s way up his throat.
“Hey.” Stiles sounds equally out of breath, and that helps.
Derek chews on his lip, scrambling for something to say. “What did you want to talk about?”
“I don’t know.” Stiles admitted. “Anything.”
“Helpful.” Derek said sarcastically.
“I mean. There’s one thing. I didn’t want to ask when you were drunk because it felt a little like taking advantage. And I don’t want you to think you have to answer-”
“Stiles.” Derek interrupts before Stiles could break into a full blown ramble.
“Tell me your name.” Stiles breaks. “Please.”
Anxiety grips his heart. But… he couldn’t stay scared forever.
“It’s Derek.”
“Derek.” Stiles repeats his name in a reverent whisper, as if committing it to memory.
And hearing Stiles say his name makes everything worth it.
//
Phone calls become a regular thing between the two of them over the next month. Always between late in the evening and the early hours of the day.
//
The next time Derek spirals he doesn’t drink before he calls Stiles, but he does cry on the phone.
The next morning he wakes up to a text from Stiles.
6:42 AM Bad Poet
>you need to talk to your sister
And Derek knows he’s right.
//
It’s not easy confronting Laura. He has two separate anxiety attacks on the walk to her apartment alone.
But he forces himself to take the dive.
“It’s okay if you hate me.” He tells her, even though it’s not okay. Laura’s hate might be the only thing in the world that could break him beyond repair.
Laura looks horrified as she stares at him. “I don’t- Obviously I don’t hate you Derek.”
“It’s my fault that they’re gone.” Derek addresses the elephant in the room.
If he hadn’t fallen in love with Kate.
If he hadn’t broken up with her, just to try and prove a point when she refused to say ‘I love you’ back…
There never would have been a fire.
Their family would still be here if it wasn’t for him.
“Fuck that!” Laura let out a harsh noise. “Derek, none of this was ever your fault. You were a kid, and even if you weren’t… You never set the fire.”
“I might as well have.”
“No. If anyone… I was your big sister- am your big sister. But I was so fucking wrapped up in myself. I didn’t even know about Kate.”
The last time Derek had seen Laura cry it had been at the funeral, so it took a second to fully sink in what he was seeing.
He found himself crying to.
“I’m so sorry, Der.”
Derek stumbled forwards pulling Laura into a crushing hug. Laura hugs him back just as tight.
They spend hours refusing to let go of one another.
//
He realises he fell asleep on Laura’s sofa when he woke up to the sound of his phone ringing. But he had no idea where it was, and he was too tired to move.
He feels Laura moving and the sound of the phone ringing gets louder before cutting off abruptly.
“Hello?”
“No - Derek’s asleep.”
“Maybe call at a more reasonable time?”
“Who is this?”
“Your voice sounds familiar.”
“Right.”
“Okay. Bye.”
Derek let sleep over take him once more.
//
2:29 AM Bad Poet
>sorry for calling so late
>you’re asleep so I’ll just take to you tomorrow
//
9:07 AM Bad Poet
<sorry, I was really tried
>no worries man
>you’re allowed to have a life outside of me
<was something wrong?
>no I was just bored, and didn’t realise how late it had gotten
>im fine
>how are you?
<im good actually
<I spoke to Laura
>yeah?
>I’m proud of you
>how’d that go?
<we both cried
<a lot
<and I ended up falling asleep on her couch
>look at you, opening up and shit.
>think I might cry now
<shut up
>literally never
>better men have tried and failed to silence me
//
2:40 PM Laura
>Want to see a movie on Friday?
<sure
//
One night Stiles calls Derek just to say his name in stupid ways, and laugh himself stupid after each one.
“Duhreek.”
“Doreck.”
“Fuck. I’m getting a stitch from laughing.”
“You’re so fucking dumb.” Derek is smiling as he said it.
“Deeruk.” Stiles wheezes out.
Derek just closes hie eyes and listens.
“I’m so fucking glad I know you, Stiles.” The words fall out of Derek’s mouth without much thought.
He only realises the weight of his words when Stile’s laughter pulls to a stop.
“I uh-” Stiles stammered. “Me too. Fuck. You’re the best thing to happen to me in…so fucking long. I’m glad I know you too Derek.”
//
Derek finally admits to himself that night that he’d fallen at least a little in love with the stranger from the unknown number.
//
He keeps trying to draw Stiles, but he can’t. Vague shapes just don’t cut it anymore.
He wants to map Stiles out with his eyes and translate it onto the page.
He wants to be able to see the smile behind the laughter.
He wants.
//
1:58 AM Bad Poet
>do you think you day we’ll actually meet?
>maybe not intentionally
>maybe one day we’d pass each other in the streets and not even know
>maybe we already have
Derek couldn’t imagine a scenario where he wouldn’t notice Stiles.
<is there ever a moment when you’re not talking?
<I think id recognise your voice and know it was you
>maybe your face would make me speechless ;)
<I think id still know
<but if you want to be sure… I could send you a picture?
<of me
>dkfajd
>for reals?
>you would do that?
>you?
<well…not for free
>there’s always a catch
>what do you want?
>my soul?
>a blood debt?
>you can have whatever it is
<I meant you’d have to send me a picture too
<geez stiles
The next text takes an unnervingly long time to come through.
>I could do that
>a photo for a photo
>I kind of look like shit rn
>so no judging me
Derek spends the next two minutes fussing and fidgeting to take a good photo. No matter what angle he took it from the bags under his eyes were noticeable, and so was the week’s worth of stubble he had yet to shave off.
And maybe this was a terrible, awful, idea.
But Derek would send one hundred bad pictures if it meant getting to see one of Stiles.
He forced himself to press send on the last picture he took.
As he pressed send another photo came in.
Derek’s fingers shook as he hit the button to download the image.
His heart stopped.
Stiles was beautiful in every sense of the word, and Derek found himself unable to look away. Even when he heard the small dings of incoming messages.
But he couldn’t ignore them for long, because it was Stiles. And when ever Stiles messaged Derek had to answer.
>Fucking hell
>are you for real?
>you gave me a heart attack
>am I being catfished right now?
>when do you think you were going to tell me you’re the most fucking beautiful man to exist ever?
>how the hell to you look like that as 2AM!?
>Derek
>oh my god
>you gotta respond my dude because I’m freaking out a little bit
>still there?
>did my selfie scare you away?
>I would have tried harder for a nice photo if I knew I was talking to an adonis
>Derek?
<still here
>of thank fuck
>so…
<so?
>come on
>your going to give me a complex
>the selfie…was it okay?
>I know it’s not much
>but we can’t all be greek gods
<its beautiful
<you’re beautiful, stiles
>oh
>thanks
//
Derek is so far gone that he makes the picture of Stiles the home screen on his phone.
//
9:49 AM Bad Poet
<Laura wants me to meet her boyfriend
<this is all your fault
>how is this my fault?
<because she never wanted to introduce us before
<and then you got me to talk to my sister
<and now she wants me to meet him
>…and this is a bad thing?
<yes
>because?
<I don’t make good first impressions
<it’s going to be awkward
>yeah probably
<you’re not helpful
>I wasn’t trying to be ;)
>have fun, Derek!
//
Meeting Laura’s boyfriend wasn’t as awkward as Derek thought it was going to be. But it was strange.
Derek hadn’t been expecting to meet someone so soft and kind. He was nothing like any one that Laura had dated before.
But he also wasn’t used to seeing Laura smile as much as she did around him.
Maybe not all change was bad.
//
Derek tells Laura about Stiles by accident. Or more accurately he mentions Stiles once by accident (not even by name) and Laura had badgered him until he admitted that he had made a friend through a wrong number.
“There’s a lot of weirdos out there.”
“I know.”
God did Derek ever know.
But Stiles is different.
“Just…be careful.”
“I am being. I promise.”
Laura reluctantly lets it go after that. “So…what’s he like?”
“He’s…he’s like bad poetry.”
“Oh god. You’re in love with him aren’t you?”
Derek can’t bring himself to deny it, but he does tell Laura to shut up.
//
Derek fully embraces being in love with Stiles on the day he tells Stiles about his drawings. He’d never told anyone about them before - not even Laura. But telling Stiles had been easy.
‘It reminds me of line art’ Stiles had said when Derek had sent him a photo of the doodle he had been working on. “I love it’.
A warmth flutters through Derek’s veins.
//
It all goes sideways on the day Laura goes on Derek’s phone to check the time.
She’d raised one eyebrow at him looking amused.
“I thought you didn’t listen to music?” She said, a teasing note to her voice.
“I don’t.” Derek shrugged.
“A huh. So why do you have a picture of Stiles Stilinski as your wallpaper?” She asks.
It’s so startling to hear Stiles name coming out of Laura’s mouth that Derek’s brain refuses to function properly. “How do you know Stiles?” He asks weakly.
Laura laughs. “He’s not exactly a niche celebrity Der. He was a really famous YouTuber before he started selling albums.”
Derek doesn’t know what to say to that. He blinks as his world slowly unravels before him.
No.
She had to be wrong, because Derek couldn’t be in love with a celebrity. Stiles couldn’t be…
“Hey are you okay? You look really sick?”
“He’s famous?” His throat is dry.
“Yes? Are you okay? What’s wrong? You’ve got to speak to me Der. Use your words.”
Derek just shakes his head because he can’t.
“It’s him.” He manages to get out.
“What are you talking about?”
“Laura. It’s him.”
It takes a moment to click but Derek knows when it does because a look of thunderous wrath takes over Laura’s face.
“I’ll kill him.” She seethes, shaking with anger. “What kind of fucking punk thinks that this is a good prank to play?”
“What?”
“No one is getting away with catfishing you, Der. I’m going to hunt this fucker down, and then I’ll rip him so many new ones that he going to look like SpongeBob when I’m done with him.”
And god, Derek hadn’t even considered the thought that Stiles might not even be Stiles. The thought of Stiles being a liar…
The gape in his heart grows a little bit bigger.
And it all falls apart.
//
It takes hours before Derek can convince himself to confront Stiles.
11:08 PM Bad Poet
<you’re stiles stilinki
>fuck
(And yeah, it was really him).
>how did you find out?
<Laura
>I was going to tell you
<Were you?
>Yes
>I’ve wanted to for ages
>It just never felt like the right time to bring it up
<I wish you had decided on the right time was sooner
>Me too
>I’m sorry
>Please don’t hate me
Derek did not think it was possible for him to hate any part of Stiles.
<I don’t
>Thank fuck
>seriously
>can I call you?
<sure
Derek closed his eyes after sending the text and waited for Stiles to ring. A heartbeat later his ringtone sounded off.
“Hey.”
“You believe me right?” And Stiles sounds more frantic than Derek had ever heard him before.
“I believe you, Stiles.”
“Are you sure, because I can prove it if you want? I can do a video call? Or I can tweet literally anythi-”
“Stiles.”
“Yeah?”
“You don’t have to prove anything to me.”
Stiles lets out a small whine, that reaches through the phone line and yanks at Derek’s already tattered heart, unraveling him just a little more.
“Meet me.” Stiles said, taking Derek by surprise.
“What?”
“Please. I meant to throw a please in there, I’m just really fucking nervous right now. Meet me please. In real life. I uh- I was going to ask when I finally told you about the whole being a celebrity thing. It’s still weird to say that out loud. That’s part of why it was so hard to tell you. But the point was you beat me to the punch with the whole reveal thing, but I still wanted to ask.”
“Stiles…”
“And it’s not that I was trying to use my influence or fame to pressure you into meeting me. I just wanted to be in a space where we were one hundred per cent honest with one another before I asked you. You can still say no. Of course you can, I don’t know why I’m- my point is I hope you don’t say no.”
Derek feels his heart break in two.
“Stiles…I can’t.”
“Oh.”
He hadn’t fully realised just how many worlds apart the two of them were when he had fallen in love with Stiles. It felt even more impossible than it had before.
“I’m sorry.” The words leave him feeling hollow.
“No. Don’t apologise. This is just me getting carried away. It’s okay.”
I love you. The words never leave Derek. They can’t leave him.
There was no way this could work, and he was far too scared of breaking the tentative connection they had with his useless words.
It was better for him to just… fall out of love.
//
6:17AM Laura
<it’s really him
>are you sure
<I’m sure
>what are you going to do?
<nothing
>Derek you’re in love with him
<I’m aware
<it doesn’t matter
<it wouldn’t ever work
>I’m sorry
<don’t be
<I’m going to be fine
>Im coming over with wine
//
That night Derek fills pages and pages of his notebook with drawings of Stiles.
When he gets a message from Stiles at 11PM- for the first time since they started messaging- Derek leaves it unopened.
//
He never ignores a message again after that, and life moves on. Stiles still messages him all the time, but he never asks to call anymore.
Derek misses his voice so much that he goes onto youtube and listens to his music.
He buys all three albums Stiles released and it still doesn’t feel like enough.
//
He fills an entire notebook with doodles of Stiles.
It’s still not enough.
//
1:11 PM Bad Poet
>I wrote you a song
>I know you don’t listen to music
>but it felt weird to not a least send you a link
>bad poetry at 2:00am
The link leads Derek to a youtube video of Stiles holding a ukulele and staring with a soft smile at the camera.
“Hey guys. It’s been a while, huh? But I guess I finally found inspiration. So here we go.”
The song is beautiful, but even more beautiful than that was Stiles.
When the song reached the end Derek doesn’t hesitate to hit replay.
He listens to the song ten times before he realises he’s crying - and he knows that he’s never going to ‘get over’ Stiles because he doesn’t want to.
//
3:00 PM Laura
>have you seen the video?
<he sent me a link
<he wrote a song for me Laura
<I love him so fucking much and he wrote a song for me
>fuck
<what do I do?
>what do you want to do?
<I don’t know
>I think you should look at his twitter
<?
>I wasn’t going to say anything because you said you wanted to get over him
>but I think you need to see it
>@stilesstilinki
//
@stilesstilinski
I want to hug him
@stilesstilinski
Get you a guy that will stay up with you until 4AM talking about literally anything
@stilesstilinski
Why do I alway fall for people so far out of my league? rip me I guess.
@stilesstilinski
He makes me want to write poetry
Derek spends hours scrolling through Stiles’ twitter.
He scrolls far enough back that he gets to the part of his timeline where his twitter is littered with pictures of Lydia, which causes the ache in Derek’s chest to grow. But he can’t stop looking because Stiles looks so happy.
And Derek falls impossibly more in love.
He lets himself acknowledge for the first time that Stiles might love him back.
And everything else?
It’s worth it.
Because Stiles is worth everything to Derek.
//
2:00 AM Bad Poet
<so I looked at your twitter
>fuck.
>how much did you see?
<all of it
>tight
>please excuse me while I go die now
>bye
<don’t leave yet
<I had something I wanted to ask you
>did you want me to delete the tweets?
>I can do that
>I’ll just delete the whole account
>I am my own worst enemy so this won’t be a problem
>actually Jackson Whittemore is my worst enemy
>but I’m a close second
<stiles?
>yup?
<Will you go on a date with me?
>alkdjf
>yes?
>Ofc yes?
>are you being serious?
>because this would be a cruel prank if you’re not serious
<I’m serious
>yes.
>yes. yes. yes. yes. yes. yes.
>holy shit
>theres no fucking universe where I say ‘no’ to that question from you
>im so fucking in love with you
>is it too soon to say that?
>I don’t even care
>I’m speaking my truth
>you obviously don’t have to say it back
>im going to woo you so hard Derek
>you’ll have to love me back eventually
>I’m going to write you poetry
>hell I’ll even read poetry for you
>ill give the whole fucking moon to you
<why would I want the moon?
<im not gru?
>despicable me
>that was a despicable me reference.
>you don’t listen to music, but you watch despicable me?
>you’re such an enigma to me Derek
>god I love you so much
<stiles?
>too much?
<no
<I don’t think I could ever have too much of you
<I love you too stiles
<so much
<I just don’t want you to get your hopes up
<I might not be able to live up to it in real life
>impossible
<seriously stiles
>I am being serious
>I’m already in love with you Der
>you don’t have to do anything more than you’ve already done
>you could wear a potato sack, and spend the whole night not saying anything at all
>and I would still be in love with you
>all you have to do now is show up
<…I can do that
>perfect
//
TWO YEARS LATER
@stilesstilinski
Hey @JacksonWhittemore, remember when you told me I would die alone? Well I just got engaged to the love of my life. So checkmate fucker.
#sterek#eternal sterek#what am i even doing?#i just spent the last two days writing this and banging my head against the wall and nothing else#should i write this into a full fic one day?#i probably wont#hope you guys enjoy#sterek drabble#5k words of them being idiots#i cut so much out how is this still 5k?#stiles stilinki#derek hale#laura is the only other character that makes an appearance#im supposed to be sleeping#but here we are ig#texting#wrong number#celebrity stiles
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Yall don know crap about me so here:
1: when you have cereal, do you have more milk than cereal or more cereal than milk? More cereal than milk. I don like to have a bowl full of milk after.
2: do you like the feeling of cold air on your cheeks on a winter-y day? Yes.
3: what random objects do you use to bookmark your books? Random pieces of old sketch paper I have lying around everywhere.
4: how do you take your coffee/tea? I drink green tea as is. I’ll have that or cocoa, with milk and sprinkles.
5: are you self-conscious of your smile? Yes, I don smile often.
6: do you keep plants? Yes, I have a small sunflower in my window.
7: do you name your plants? Yes, her name is Vivi. Don fuking judge me.
8: what artistic medium do you use to express your feelings? I use oil paints.
9: do you like singing/humming to yourself? Yeah, I hum to the music I play when I draw, sketch and/or paint.
10: do you sleep on your back, side, or stomach? Sleep? Hah, I don’t, but If I take my sleeping pills like I’m suppose to, usually on my side.
11: what’s an inner joke you have with your friends? Er allein, dem die Jugend gehört, gewinnt die Zukunft.
12: what’s your favorite planet? Saturn.
13: what’s something that made you smile today? Watching Shiloh trip and fall.
14: if you were to live with your best friend in an old flat in a big city, what would it look like? I’m not going to live in the city once I finish school.
15: go google a weird space fact and tell us what it is! It would take nine years to walk to the moon.
16: what’s your favorite pasta dish? Ramen.
17: what color do you really want to dye your hair? I want to get rid of the blonde patch at my routes.
18: tell us about something dumb/funny you did that has since gone down in history between you and your friends and is always brought up. When I learnt German only to give our Jewish history teacher wwII flash backs. Nate was mad. I didn’t care.
19: do you keep a journal? what do you write/draw/ in it? Yes and just small outfit ideas.
20: what’s your favorite eye color? Blue, purple or orange. Why? Idfk.
21: talk about your favorite bag, the one that’s been to hell and back with you and that you love to pieces. My hello kitty little backpack that I brought with me from japan, I now use it as a purse when I go shopping. It confuses people.
22: are you a morning person? hell. no.
23: what’s your favorite thing to do on lazy days where you have 0 obligations? Lay in bed till 4 pm.
24: is there someone out there you would trust with every single one of your secrets? Fuck no.
25: what’s the weirdest place you’ve ever broken into? The boy’s dorm room.
26: what are the shoes you’ve had for forever and wear with every single outfit? My black and pastel coloured converse.
27: what’s your favorite bubblegum flavor? bubblegum.
28: sunrise or sunset? sunrise. I’m not a morning person but it looks nice.
29: what’s something really cute that one of your friends does and is totally endearing? no.
30: think of it: have you ever been truly scared? yes, when? I wont tell, unless asked.
31: what is your opinion of socks? do you like wearing weird socks? do you sleep with socks? do you confine yourself to white sock hell? really, just talk about socks. They’re okay ig, yes?, no, no, and no thanks.
32: tell us a story of something that happened to you after 3AM when you were with friends. I can’t really hang out with friends at 3 AM.
33: what’s your fave pastry? dessert mochii.
34: tell us about the stuffed animal you kept as a kid. what is it called? what does it look like? do you still keep it? It’s name is Kuma. It’s a brown fluffy bear. yes i do.
35: do you like stationary and pretty pens and so on? do you use them often? not anymore, I used to write to my mom while I was at school.
36: which band’s sound would fit your mood right now? Bo burnham. That’s it.
37: do you like keeping your room messy or clean? Clean.
38: tell us about your pet peeves! JB. just JB hitting on. every. single. guy. That or Shiloh. Just Shiloh being Shiloh. Also Bae thinking he’s better than everyone else.
39: what color do you wear the most? Black.
40: think of a piece of jewelry you own: what’s it’s story? does it have any meaning to you? I own a small necklace with purple beads. It has meaning to me I guess.
41: what’s the last book you remember really, really loving? The One Safe Place.
42: do you have a favorite coffee shop? describe it! No.
43: who was the last person you gazed at the stars with? JB.
44: when was the last time you remember feeling completely serene and at peace with everything? When I was 11.
45: do you trust your instincts a lot? Yeah.
46: tell us the worst pun you can think of. uhhhhh. To the guy who invented zero, thanks for nothing.
47: what food do you think should be banned from the universe? Store bought ramen. It’s so gross.
48: what was your biggest fear as a kid? is it the same today? Thunder and Lightning, and yes.
49: do you like buying CDs and records? what was the last one you bought? The last CD I bought? Beetlejuice the musical.
50: what’s an odd thing you collect? Knifes. Pencils.
51: think of a person. what song do you associate with them? uhh. Jeremy with sad song by scotty sire.
52: what are your favorite memes of the year so far? Ugandan knuckles, i know its dead but it’s still my favorite.
53: have you ever watched the rocky horror picture show? heathers? beetlejuice? pulp fiction? what do you think of them? i love beetlejuice.
54: who’s the last person you saw with a true look of sadness on their face? idfk.
55: what’s the most dramatic thing you’ve ever done to prove a point? I climbed up a shelf at the library to prove that I could be tall.
56: what are some things you find endearing in people? no.
57: go listen to bohemian rhapsody. how did it make you feel? did you dramatically reenact the lyrics? im not answering this one.
58: who’s the wine mom and who’s the vodka aunt in your group of friends? why? uhh idk.
59: what’s your favorite myth? Any Japanese urban legend.
60: do you like poetry? what are some of your faves? uhh. no.
61: what’s the stupidest gift you’ve ever given? the stupidest one you’ve ever received? I once gave away some floppy hat that my step dad gave me.
62: do you drink juice in the morning? which kind? Yes, pineapple.
63: are you fussy about your books and music? do you keep them meticulously organized or kinda leave them be? Yes. I make sure they’re organized on genre and then in the genre it’s alphabetized.
64: what color is the sky where you are right now? blue.
65: is there anyone you haven’t seen in a long time who you’d love to hang out with? My mom, but in order to do that, i’d have to die. :)
66: what would your ideal flower crown look like? Pink daises and sunflowers, small ones, plus some bits of lavender.
67: how do gloomy days where the sky is dark and the world is misty make you feel? Happy, it’s nice.
68: what’s winter like where you live? no snow, it’s like 60 degrees.
69: what are your favorite board games? idk.
70: have you ever used a ouija board? ya.
71: what’s your favorite kind of tea? green.
72: are you a person who needs to note everything down or else you’ll forget it? No, i have an okay memory.
73: what are some of your worst habits? I bounce my leg around whenever i’m not moving, that or I flick my pencil around.
74: describe a good friend of yours without using their name or gendered pronouns. big ass hole.
75: tell us about your pets! I only have one and she’s a blind kitty. She’s white with spots and has a fluffy tail.
76: is there anything you should be doing right now but aren’t? My homework.
77: pink or yellow lemonade? pink.
78: are you in the minion hateclub or fanclub? uhh i really don’t care
79: what’s one of the cutest things someone has ever done for you? I was given a flower by some girl during lunch, i never got her name though.
80: what color are your bedroom walls? did you choose that color? if so, why? white, i didn’t get to choose cus I live in a dorm room.
81: describe one of your friend’s eyes using the most abstract imagery you can think of. northern star.
82: are/were you good in school? ya i am.
83: what’s some of your favorite album art? idk.
84: are you planning on getting tattoos? which ones? no.
85: do you read comics? what are your faves? Ya i guess, and deadpool.
86: do you like concept albums? which ones? no. not really.
87: what are some movies you think everyone should watch at least once in their lives? my neighbor totoro, kikis delivery service.
88: are there any artistic movements you particularly enjoy? not really.
89: are you close to your parents? I was close with my mom.
90: talk about your one of you favorite cities. tokyo. i don’t have to explain.
91: where do you plan on traveling this year? no where.
92: are you a person who drowns their pasta in cheese or a person who barely sprinkles a pinch? i don’t put cheese on my pasta.
93: what’s the hairstyle you wear the most? Shaved under my lil floof bangs.
94: who was the last person you know to have a birthday? Jeremy.
95: what are your plans for this weekend? Draw.
96: do you install your computer updates really quickly or do you procrastinate on them a lot? I update immediately.
97: myer briggs type, zodiac sign, and hogwarts house? INTJ - The Mastermind, libra, and huffle puff.
98: when’s the last time you went hiking? did you enjoy it? idk and no.
99: list some songs that resonate to your soul whenever you hear them. no.
100: if you were presented with two buttons, one that allows you to go 5 years into the past, the other 5 years into the future, which one would you press? why? 5 years into the past, and for reasons.
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i was tagged by @yoonmochiiii thank you baby!!!
1. Nickname(s): Tessa, Tess, Tessy and pooh bear
2. Bias: The sun LOL JKJK Jung Hoseok
3. Blood type: I have no idea LOL
4. Favorite food: Dumplings oh man dumplings are so good and my moms Arroz con pollo 🤤
5. Birthday: February 23 (:
6. Zodiac sign: Pisces
7. Pronouns: she/her
8. Hair lenght: short
9. Height: 5'9= 175.26 i think
10. A crush: lol
11. What do you like about yourself: I like how non judgmental i am and my loyalty i’ll always be there for everyone
12. Right or left handed: right
13. List of three favourite colors: Yellow, Red, and white
14. (Right now) eating: Nothing
15. (Right now) drinking: Green Tea
16. I’m about to: Finish my chinese drama
17. Listening to: Easy by DaniLeigh
18. Kids: None
19. Get married: Yes
20. Recent phone call: My friend to annoy me LOL JKJK
21. (Have you ever) Dated someone twice: nope
22. Been cheated on: yup
23. Kissed someone and regretted it: yes
24. Lost someone special: Yes
25. Been depressed: Yes
26. Been drunk and thrown up: Nope
27. Had glasses or contacts: I wear glasses
28. Had sex on the first date: Nope
29. Broken someone’s heart: Yes
30. Turned someone down: yup
31. Cried when someone died: Yes
32. Fallen for a friend: hell yeah
33. (In the last year have you) made a new friend: Yes i love you all!!
34. Laughed until you cried: um have you not been on my blog? just cause its text doesnt mean anything im deadaas laughing 💀
35. Met someone who changed you: yes!
36. Found out who your true friends were: yup Uni changes you honestly
37. Found out someone was talking about you: Y U P
38. Lips or eyes: eyes
39. Hugs or kisses: both
40. Shorter or taller: taller
41. Romantic or spontaneous: Spontaneous
42. Sensitive or loud: sensitive
43. Hookup or relationship: relationship
44. First best friend: My friend Kc still friends but not my best friend anymore
45. Surgery: None
46. Sports I joined: LOOOL i’m lazy
47. Do you believe in yourself: sometimes i’m working on it tbh
48. Miracles: yes
49. Love at first sight: ehhh idk
50. Heaven: Mmm nope
51. Do you have any pets: I have a cat and two dogs (:
52. Do you want to change your name: Nope i love my name i’ve never met someone with the same name
53. What did you do for your last birthday: My best friend picked me up we ate at a Japanese restaurant and went on a shopping spree (for him not even me i dont like shopping much 🙄)
54. What time did you wake up today: 12 pm LOL
55. What were you doing last night at midnight: Did an all nighter JUST to watch my chinese drama
56. Something you can’t wait for: Can’t wait for the summer idk why but i have a good feeling
57. Last time you saw your mom: Like rn she made me some food (:
58. What is one thing you wish you could change about your life: Honestly, i would say the decisions and things i have said but at the same time i need to learn and to forgive myself
59. What’s getting on your nerves: For me its noise as well like fuck man i just wanna sit down in peace and just listen to some piano all day
i tag: @hobifuljoon @dearlyjoon @rosiegukk @snowy-meowl @yoonseok @pjmskosmos @softesthobi (you dont have to honey buns its okay!!) 💛💛💛
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Sounds of Silence pt1
A/N: Modern AU with Mitsunari! This is loosely tied to Everything comes with a price, set over a year after it. Unlike before, there won’t be a set release schedule bc this fic isn’t completely finished yet. (I just need some validation and motivation oTL). A big thank you to @dear-mrs-otome for telling me this idea doesn’t completely suck <3
Also spoilers for Mitsunari’s route!
When he opened the door all he could do was stare.
Behind it stood a young woman. And not just any young woman but the one he had seen at the library countless times reading books to kids in sign language. The woman he secretly always hoped he’d see when he went to the library, whose smile he couldn’t stop thinking about.
***
At first, Mitsunari was annoyed by the voices coming somewhere out of sight. Libraries were supposed to be where you could study in peace, he had no idea what could cause such a ruckus.
The sound of laughter guided him to the children’s section of the library, but what he saw wasn’t what he expected.
A young woman was standing in front of a group of kids, a book open in front of her, animatedly reading the book in sign language. The kids were excited, laughing and giggling at the what he assumed were the exciting parts of the story.
Mitsunari felt enamoured, his annoyance long forgotten. He didn’t even realise he had stared until the story was over and all the kids were circling her, trying to talk to her all at once. Her smile brightened her face and she looked so natural and happy amongst the kids Mitsunari felt almost jealous.
Just then, she caught him staring. He felt his face heat up and he turned around sharply, stomping back to the table he had reserved for himself. He planted his face firmly on the book open in front of him.
Gods, that was embarrassing. Who goes around staring random women, when they were supposed to study. Ughh…
*****
He saw her walk towards the children's section from the corner of his eye and somehow his head turned to look after her. She stopped to wait for a boy in his teens to bounce all excited to her a book in his hands. They shared a greeting but Mitsunari couldn't follow the signs they spoke with. It didn't stop him from staring after them when they continued on their way towards the room where he had seen her read to the kids.
"Hey, are you even listening to me?"
Mitsunari turned to look at Sakon who looked at him a wide smile on his face.
"Or are you too busy staring after women to tutor me?"
"If you have time to lazy around and comment on everything I do, you must be ready for a quiz about all the important battles post-Honno-ji?"
"Ack! No! Don't you have any mercy, we just went through them 30 minutes ago?"
"Then what are you doing fooling around, you incorrigible dimwit. Get back to studying."
"I'm sure no one would have made me work this hard in the Sengoku period..." Sakon mumbled with a sigh.
"What was that?"
"I'm studying!"
When he was finally free of Sakon, he made his way to the children's section. But it was quiet, the children long gone. He was just about to turn around when he noticed a schedule on the wall. She would be back in an hour.
He could wait for that long.
Wait, maybe he shouldn't? Would that be weird? But he really did want to see her read again.
He didn't see her until he got up to get some coffee from a vending machine. She was sitting on the sofas next to it with the same boy as before, lost in an animated discussion he could only guess the topic off.
A part of him wanted to loiter so he could watch them talk, but the reasonable part of his brain forced him to return to his table.
As soon as he saw her followed by the silver-haired boy he stuffed his things to his bag and stood up to follow her. A group of excited kids were already waiting for her but he stayed behind until everyone had sat down. Then he stepped behind the parents by the door, his eyes following the movements of her hands taking in every sign.
Unlike before, this time when she was finished she kept glancing at the clock and hurried away as soon as possible, almost colliding with him. The silver-haired boy tried to stop her but after some hurried signs let her go. The look on the boys face looked a bit like a lost puppy and for some reason seeing her hurry away like that made Mitsunari feel a bit same.
He was brushing his teeth in the evening when he felt the buzz of his phone in his pocket.
[23:12:45] <<bookshy>> do u evr feel like ur stuck in ur life?
[23:12:52] <<bookshy>> like u shld hve accomplishd so much mor in ur life tn u hve?
He stared at the screen for a while before he typed a reply. He didn't know who bookshy was, not really. They had been talking with each other for years, but always with nicknames, always through messages in the internet. It felt more comfortable that way somehow. Knowing there was always a person willing to listen to you without judging.
[23:13:05] <<ManjuDreamer>> Are you feeling like that right now?
[23:13:07] <<bookshy>> ya
[23:13:11] <<bookshy>> i dunno wht ill do w/ my life
[23:13:19] <<bookshy>> i thght id do so mch more u know?
[23:13:22] <<bookshy>> and now i jst feel liek im stuck nd see no way out
[23:13:23] <<bookshy>> is ths my life now?
[23:14:50] <<bookshy>> evry1 says i shld b happy w/ wht i hve
[23:14:59] <<bookshy>> i hve so much im feeling ungrateful whn i feel like ths
[24:15:46] <<ManjuDreamer>> You still have plenty of time to accomplish your dreams. It's not for others to decide when you can be happy.
[23:16:02] <<bookshy>> guess ur rite
He heard a knock on the bathroom door and quickly finished brushing his teeth. When he opened the door Hideyoshi was standing behind it already in his pyjamas.
"I thought you'd never come out," he commented with a yawn and pushed past him to the bathroom.
"Good night," Mitsunari wished to the closed door before he retreated back to his room.
[23:18:30] <<bookshy>> how was ur day
[23:18:49] <<bookshy>> i saw the prettiest person today like hot damn
[23:19:13] <<ManjuDreamer>> I saw an interesting person today too, I wish I get to see them again. Other than that, it was mostly my student being an idiot, so nothing new.
[23:19:53] <<ManjuDreamer>> I tried to do some research on a paper I'm writing, but it didn't progress much. I was just about to go to bed so I have energy to study more tomorrow.
[23:19:56] <<bookshy>> srry to keep u up
[23:19:57] <<bookshy>> night!
[23:20:10] <<ManjuDreamer>> Night.
***
Mitsunari tossed the wig from his head frustrated, running his hand over his face. He glanced at the mirror of the bathroom, at the perfectly drawn eyeliner, the perfect shade of blush, the perfectly applied foundation. The perfect set of lies, painted on his face.
[13:33:14] <<ManjuDreamer>> I went to see my mother.
He hesitated a bit before he sent the message. It didn't take long for his phone to bling with a reply.
[13:34:29] <<bookshy>> how did it go?
[13:34:48] <<ManjuDreamer>> As well as you would expect.
[13:34:51] <<bookshy>> u wanna t alk about it?
His fingers ghosted over the screen of his phone before he put it down and looked at the mirror again. He reached for the makeup removal wipes from his bag and scrubbed furiously at his skin until the last remains of the makeup were gone.
[13:36:18] <<ManjuDreamer>> She's there but I feel like I'm losing her.
[13:37:01] <<ManjuDreamer>> Every time I visit she seems further and further away.
[13:37:15]<<ManjuDreamer>> Sometimes I wonder if the mother I used to know is there at all.
He started to type his next message, but stopped, gripping his phone tight in his hand.
[13:38:34] <<ManjuDreamer>> She's my mother, but it's so hard.
[13:38:42] <<ManjuDreamer>> I don't know what to do.
He glanced at the mirror to make sure his eyes weren't red before he pulled his shirt over his head and replaced it with one from his bag.
[13:38:47] <<bookshy>> ur doing plenty already
[13:38:49] <<bookshy>> u dont have to push urself so hard
[13:38:50] <<bookshy>> im sure shed understand
[13:38:59] <<ManjuDreamer>> But I'm all she has.
[13:39:02] <<bookshy>> i know
[13:39:06] <<bookshy>> but u hhave 2 thnk abt urself frst
[13:39:15] <<bookshy>> if u feel its too much u can keep a brek. ur not prfect. u dnt have 2 b
[13:39:50] <<bookshy>> im alws hr 2 tlk if u need me
[13:40:20] <<ManjuDreamer>> Thank you. It means a lot.
He put his phone on the side of the sink and wiggled out of his skirt. He really should buy a new one next time he got paid for tutoring. The zipper didn't work properly anymore and the hem was starting to fray. He kicked the flats from his feet and looked at the kneehigh socks on his feet. They wouldn't be visible under his pants anyway so he let them be and took his pants and shoes from his bag before showing the skirt and shirt in their place. He considered showing the wig in after them but realised making the wig presentable after that would be too much of a hassle. So he gently combed the wig with his fingers to sort out biggest tangles and folded it neatly in a mesh bag. Flats into a plastic bag, then into the bag.
Like countless times before.
He got dressed and made one final glance at the mirror before he put the bag on his shoulder and stepped out of the bathroom.
"Oh, Mitsunari! Here to see your mother?" a nurse greeted him when he tried to slip past the nurses' office without being noticed. What a nosy bunch of quidnuncs insistent of mothering him.
“Yes. I was just leaving.” He replied with a stiff bow.
“Come and have some tea with us! How did the test go you told me last time?” Another nurse poked her head from the office. Mitsunari resisted the urge to roll his eyes and offered another bow.
“I believe it went well. I still haven’t received the results.”
Half an hour later he was still stuck at the nurses' office surrounded by what felt like a flock of mother hens, all determined to squeeze every bit of information out of him they could. He was just getting up from his chair when a voice behind him froze him on the spot.
"Did my darling Saki leave already? She was just here... Such a dutiful daughter, coming to see her mother so often..."
His knuckles turned white as he squeezed the edge of the table, his head down. He wanted to turn around. He wanted to see his mother as himself. He wanted... needed to see if she'd recognise him this time.
"We saw her leave a while ago, Mrs Ishida. She's such a nice girl."
He heard a nurse walk his mother away and the sighs of relief from the remaining nurses.
"Are you alright, Mitsunari? You know we'll listen to you if you need to talk. Or we can help you find someone-"
"I need to go now. Goodbye," Mitsunari interrupted the nurse who had put her hand on his shoulder to calm him. He got up in such haste his chair fell to the floor with a rattle, but he just offered a quick bow before he fled the office.
He didn't stop until he arrived at the bus stop. There he sank on the bench, burying his face on his hands.
He took the bus to the library, staring idly out of the window.
[14:36:09] <<bookshy>> did u make it home
[14:36:35] <<ManjuDreamer>> No. I'm heading to the library. The nurses got me again.
[14:36:37] <<bookshy>> lol how did u mnage 2 escpe
[18:36:56] <<ManjuDreamer>> Mother came to the office.
[14:37:09] <<bookshy>> oh no
[14:37:10] <<bookshy>> im so sorry
[14:37:21] <<bookshy>> how r u feeling rn?
[14:38:29] <<ManjuDreamer>> I don't know. I'll try to find some reading to distract myself with.
At the library, he searched for materials for his upcoming paper but when he sat down and tried to read, the words didn't make any sense.
When he had read the same page several times over and still remembered absolutely nothing he was interrupted from his reading by a book shoved on top of the one he was just reading.
"Can't you see I'm-!" the sharp words died on his lips when he saw the same woman who had read to the kids in front of him. She tapped on the note on top of the book and he looked down to read it.
'This is the book I was reading. You seemed interested'
She handed him a second book, a note on top of it too.
'I'll read this next'
When she shifted her weight from one foot to another clearly uncomfortable, he realised he was staring. He offered her a curt nod as a thank you and she bowed at him a small relieved smile on her lips. She seemed to hesitate before she signed something but he had to shake his head.
There was a slight shift on her smile, on her posture, and she took a step back.
'I'm sorry' she mouthed and offered him a bow before she all but fled, leaving him to sit alone, feeling like an idiot.
[16:19:20] <<ManjuDreamer>> I think I just made a complete fool out of myself.
[16:29:59] <<bookshy>> lol rly?
[16:30:00] <<bookshy>> wht did u do?
[16:30:02] <<bookshy>> i thght fool wasnt in ur dicktionary
[16:31:18] <<ManjuDreamer>> And for that terrible joke, I tell you nothing.
[16:31:47] <<bookshy>> noooo hw wll i evr know how embarassng u can be if u don tell me?
[16:32:32] <<ManjuDreamer>> You'll survive.
***
"She's not here today."
Mitsunari was startled from his thoughts by a familiar voice behind him. He turned around, vaguely aware of the frown his irritation had brought on his face.
"Who?" he asked as if he didn't know exactly who was the 'she' in question.
"I got this for you, I'm sure it holds some useful information." Mr Otani handed him a flyer for the children's activities in the local libraries. Mitsunari stared at the flyer blankly before he looked at Mr Otani, letting his irritation show.
"And what am I supposed to do with this?"
Mr Otani just smiled and pushed a book towards him as well.
"I'm sure you'll find this useful as well. Come find me if you need anything else."
Before he had time to protest Mr Otani left him with a wave, a wide smile on his face. He considered running or yelling after him, but changed his mind when he looked at the book in his hand.
'Sign language for beginners'
He tucked the children's program leaflet securely at the back of his calendar and checked the book out.
Something about the sign language intrigued him. She looked so graceful when signing. And so comfortable and she seemed genuinely love reading to the children.
At first, he thought he’d look up a few signs. Just in case some of the children needed help in the library. Just so he could talk to her. No, he meant the kids. So he could talk to the kids. But few turned into a few hundred. A few thousand. He was so lost.
***
#slbp#slbp fanfic#ishida mitsunari#toyotomi hideyoshi#voltage fanfic#frywen writes#sounds of silence fic
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If you wanna hear a messed up story about something I just read & then heard the audio from, read it all. Its some screwed up crap
Im reading a story right now about this poor woman who called 911 cuz her car got picked up in a flash flood. She can’t swim & was crying to the operator that she was scared she was gonna die.
I’m listening to the call right now & so far; this heartless ass bitch, the operator, is telling the scared woman these things so far as I’m listening:
- The woman saying please help, she doesn’t wanna die, and that water was already coming through her windows.
- Operator says almost with an annoyed sounding ugh to it “You’re not gonna die”
- Now she’s telling her its gonna be a while til they get there & saying she doesn’t know how long it’ll be cuz they have no officers available. Lady is crying & saying she needs to call her mom & tell her bye
- The lady is saying people are looking at her & gonna laugh at her like shes dumb.Then what I mention later brings this up again but the operator did say though “people are looking at you and not gonna help you?” which was my thought later with these people & makes this whole thing even worse. And the operator keeps saying “you arent gonna die. im not gonna let you die”. Then the lady is saying its going over her chest now full of water.
- “Am I not on the phone with you trying to get you some help? So stop. Youre not gonna die. Idk why you’re freaking out”
- The lady asks if she’ll pray for her. The operator basically says no but the lady can pray if she wants. Now is telling her she isn’t gonna get swept away to anywhere cuz the layout of the road so to basically stop freaking out
- THEN HAS THE NERVE TO SAY “well this will teach you next time don't drive in the water. I don’t see how you didn’t see it. You had to go right over it so...”
- “how tall are you? you aren’t 3 foot so you’ll be fine”
- “A lot of people have called in on you so dont think that nobodys just sitting there. They have called in. They’re not gonna get themselves in danger because you put yourself in danger” - Read that again. Imagine being a 911 dispatcher saying that to someone whos crying for their life saying theyre about to die & the water keeps getting higher & was up to her neck now
- “well don’t cry. And then don't talk. And let me know if you hear the fire department”
- Shes also putting her on hold & taking other calls & completely not taking her serious. The tone of her voice is so nonchalant & also just annoyed AF & the lady on the phone is being so nice while also thinking shes about to die & freaking out begging for help
- Now the operator is practically laughing at her when shes telling her location cuz the cops can’t find her
- Now she just fucking told her “youre gonna have to shut up ok? listen to me”. The poor lady even replies “yes mam”
- The water was going up past her doors so shes telling the operator its getting higher & shes scared & the operator yells “HOLD ON FOR ME. HOLD ON!” In an annoyed attitude voice, NOT concern
- Now the water is so high it picked up her SUV & is moving it, the water was about to go over her neck, and the cops couldn’t find her
- The last part of the call was her saying it was going past her neck & screaming cuz the car was moving & she didn't know where or what direction or anything & that she couldn’t breathe anymore. Then the end of the call happens
Imagine that. That being the last thing you said after calling 911 for help. And you get yelled at, disrespected, and treated like a joke. After the call cuts off after its over her neck, it cuts to bodycam footage from the cop walking through a bunch of water trying to find her car. The waters were too bad so he started saying they needed a boat out there asap so a boat was dispatched
- After forever, the fucking cop asks someone he passed if they knew where someone was stuck. These fucking people knew where the car was cuz I think they watched it float away? Cuz they knew exactly where it was when the cop asked. THEY JUST WATCHED THAT & DIDN’T DO ANYTHING? ARE YOU KIDDING ME RIGHT NOW?
And that's also why I strongly feel like i’m gonna die while saving someone/and or multiple people. I would have been out there by my fucking self if I had to trying to save her right when I saw that. I would NEVER let something like that happen that I knew about & not do everything in my power to save her. That's the difference between people like those people & me.
People make me so sick. Humanity at its finest is the reason this lady died. In a horrible way. In front of people just watching & on the phone with her. There were multiple people that were with the lady that talked to the cops. Multiple people. Just watched. How pathetic
And the operator wouldn’t let her call her mom basically telling her bye & that she was about to die. The operator didn’t even let her do that & she did end up dying.
It was the operators last shift of her working there too. Very last shift
. She had put her 2 weeks In just about exactly 2 weeks before the call so she was on her last shift of ever working there already. She clearly didn’t give a fuck & wasn’t even trying. Like you can do that with that type of job...yeah right. You don't work at Walmart! When your job is solely based on peoples lives & counting on you to help, you can’t half ass it like its not serious
This makes me utterly disgusted & so sad. Thanks humanity for letting her die in front of people watching her car before it was too late & then just watching all the way until the water completely covered the car & still just watching. Knowing someone was in it. Actually it could've been full of people but they had no idea. But they knew at least someone was in it cuz the lights were on inside of it so they could find her until everything got flooded & her car died
Its horrifying how long it took to get to her too. This is the timeline of events they have listed in the video & the times of everything
4:38 - the call first came in. the fire dept. was dispatched too but couldn’t do anything
4:50 - the fire dept. and the cops are there now but couldn’t find the car
4:58 - they still can’t find the car & also dispatch the boat now
5:00 - call is disconnected between her & dispatch
5:02-5:04 - They located the car in “a stand of trees” but said they couldn’t get to it cuz high waters were moving fast. They try to get the car while wearing life vests & using ropes
5:16 - the rescue boat arrives & is launched
5:58 - they finally got to the car, took her out, and tried doing CPR but she was already long gone.
4:38 to 6:00 practically is how long it took. Practically an hour & a half
How frickin sad this whole thing is. Fuck that worker and RIP to the poor lady
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Work aftermath
This contains smut!, beware
《....》
-Im home!-
You hear that accent you know so well,automatically you bolt to the livingroom only to see him there.
Both of you embrace eachother into a hug, muttering words of how much you missed eachother, how worried you were.You look at him in the eyes...uh eye, smiling at the sight of your husband being in one piece,both of you lean in eachothers touch, letting the smell of tobacco and cologne embrace you.
-how are you feeling?- you ask, unaware of the Sneaky hands on your waist,who squish it like they were reassuring themselves that you were still here, you notice this, and look at him concerned- Hey Vicente...im still here ,im here with you, youre home, away from the pain of the Battlefield, you know this-He nodds and scoops you up- hey!, be careful, your back isnt what it used to be-
-I missed you , so much-
And then he kisses you.
Again.
And again.
Something wasnt right,he is not that afectionate.
You sit him on the sofa, and cage him with your limbs, he sighs,since capitao knows to were this leads, his hands are still in your waist.
-What happened?-
-nothing-
-Vicente dont lie to me, what did you see back there?-
-I told you , nothing! -
Capitao rised his voice, to wich you respond with a frown.
-We've talked about this!-you say, pretty pissed off by your husbands behaviour- you need to talk to me or doc when this things happen,dont Keep it to yourself!-
The both of you stay in silence, then he calms down and his hands finally Grab yours and pulls you in for a hug, you pat his back, as your husband starts to tell you what happened on that mission.
《...》
Finally, when he is done telling you, he squishes you,trying to Keep the tears from coming out like a River.
-I know your answer...but maybe...its time to retire...-
- No, im not--
-Listen here you stoic bitch!-you stand up, lookig down at him- this isnt healthy anymore!, you are not in the psicological condition to bear all of this!, your body is getting old!, and you know it!,I dont want to sugarcoat it, baby, this isnt making you any good!-
Your husband rises from the sofa, youve gone and done it, didnt you?.
Instead of him walking away, he scoops you up and makes your legs hug his waist, holding you from your butt so you dont fall, his face leans in on yours and looks at you.
-I know you are worried, I am too, I fear I might not be able to come back to my wife, and I get it, im getting old,im pushing my 50's up the hill- Vicente says seriously- but I promise, one Year more and im staying home..., ill retire and make my life with you-
You sigh, this is as much as you can bargain with him.
-its there anything I can do to help you relax?-
-Well I do have something in mind...-
He smirks and presses your back against the sofa's Seat, biting you neck,as he presses his body against yours.
You roll your eyes and sink into the feeling, digging your fingers on his hair, feeling the warmth of his body,you sigh in content, kissing Him once he retreats from your neck, you sit on his lap And unbotton his shirt looking at his well built torso, with scars that to you seemed just as attractive as he is.
You kiss his colarbone, and he bits his lip, he always is so shy of letting you know he is enjoying it, knowing this, your teeth sink into his flesh, being mindfull of not hurting him,and finally he moans.
-Whats the matter Sir?, too shy of this recruit?-
He blushes 50's shades of red as you laugh your ass off,hugging him, reassuring that the joke was all in good favor.
Then he straps you to his lap, his hands pressing your frame as close as he can to him.
-Sssshut up- Vicente mumbles as he kisses your neck lovingly, you answer this with a whimper as he continues - I missed you so much, you have no idea how-oh no, there he goes again- with you I feel secure, Like all the hardships of war arent there-
- I know, I know bebe- ( baby) you say caressing his cheeks- and I love you, but if you dont fuck me right now, I might lose my shit-
He lets out a loud laugh as you smile,youve always been so direct.
-Very well then-
And Next thing you know both of you are making out, your clothes on a far corner of the room and your bodys pressed togheter, his hands Travel down your legs and you hug his waist with them , he smiles and leaves a trail of kisses down your Jawline to your neck.
- if it hurts you tell me , okay?-you nodd, hes always a gentleman.He enters you and lets you adjust to his size ,yep...its been a while,when you finally nodd he starts to thrust , slowly, making sure everything is okay- damn- he moans- this feels good..-
You nodd and starts to match his pace, scratching his back as you tried not to be so loud, the neighborgs dont want to hear you fuck,nor do you have the courage to look at them in the eye if they heard it.
-Honey?- you call to your husband, and he looks at you- faster..-
Then his pace is as quick as his body lets him,hiding his face in the crook of your neck, his moans being muffled , and you bite hard on his shoulder.
And finally you both reach your climax,moaning eachothers name.
Vicente falls atop of you, being careful not to crush you under his weight.
-Did it work?-
-Im sure as hell it did...- he moves behind you and embraces you from behind, your hands Grab the blanket that was on the sofá,now on the floor, and cover the both of you with it- do you need anything?-
-No...-you say-im fine, as long as I am with you, im fine-
You hear him chuckle and before you doze off you hear him mumble.
'I do too' .
《 ... 》
- How can you date him?-
One of your colleague asks.
-He so old-
- and kind of ugly-
- But at least he didnt leave me when he knew I was pregnant-
The table in you workplace falls silent,and you make your way to your husband, who brought you lunch to your work.
-What did you say this time?-
He asks you.
To wich you just show him this image:
Then he starts to laugh and hugs you,kissing your head.
-I love you-
《...》
Oof first smut!
@grain-crain-drain
- Void
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throwing together some of my recent/ish hc posts/tags for @hellomyguru bc its a thing, babey (i have no idea what you’ve seen and what you havent bc tumblr really just suck like that so lmao)
my tags on this post::
#HELL YEAH HELL YEAH #more pride hcs!!! noice!!#i love these sfm#like klaus always taking part no matter how bad shit is bc HIS PEOPLE!!! and ben trying to punch picketers and homophobes is fucking adorbs#and i would kill (whoop) for the day klaus makes ben corporeal during pride and ben can punch all the people and then disappear#vanya’s is cute. come to the light darling!!#and diego fksgjf okay listen whether one hcs him as bi or not this is 1000% something he’d do either way#he’s supportive!!! and he has lgbtqa+ family!!! and nobody gets to be mean to his family but him!!#see also:: the first year after the apocalypse is avoided five decides to tag along when klaus saying he’s taking dave to#his very first pride. he not only enjoys himself but he learns a lot and either then or over the course of the following weeks figures his#own labels out - bc i hc five as asexual and i just have a thing for klaus being the all knowledgeable one about something for once#and his siblings learning about gender and sexuality from him and maybe discovering something new about themselves along the way!#except luther. he’s a cis hetero and we all know it#but maybe he learns to be a good ally. maybe#i mean probably not but whatever#allison is the only other person in the family who i’d even consider calling straight#bc there’s nothing wrong with being straight and i just.. dont have another label that i think fits her really well#so yeah ive got gender and sexuality hcs for them all flgkscndn happy pride month bitches
my tags on this post::
#’you’re telling me this happens every year?? for a whole month??!’ #actually i need every possible concept of dave experiencing pride month and seeing how far things have come for gays#like rainbow shit everywhere#and of course the legalization of gay marriage#out and proud gay politicians and gay people in positions of power#the amount of support that comes when homophobic shit happens now#homophobia isnt the accepted norm anymore#another thing i like is the concept of - either during pride or just in general - dave being excited to learn about the community as a whole#his boyfriend is a nonbinary pansexual and klaus has explained before what those words mean but dave wants to really understand#we stan a supportive and loving couple#dave has a lot to learn in 2019 but i think this stuff would be the most important and have the most effect on him yknow??#shit isnt perfect but its better and now he can work on getting passed the environment he was raised in#so he can hold klaus’s hand in public and kiss him around other people without panicking and eventually he proposes because HE FUCKING CAN#HE CAN DO THAT. HE CAN JUST.. ASK HIS BOYFRIEND TO MARRY HIM. LEGALLY.#good fucking shit
my tags on this post::
#did you see the state of the sky in the apocalypse?? there’s a chance he really wouldnt have noticed#i mean like yeah it could be a funny plothole#but there could also be reasons for why thats not something he noticed#or idfk man timeline shit#maybe the moon didnt explode the first time around#maybe it did and there’s just another moon somehow some way#maybe he didnt notice bc he was first too scared and then too frenzied and angry probably and then he had shit to focus on and math to do#and then dolores wanted to go on dates to the local wine cellars and flat empty areas that used to be parks and then there was spending days#in the library together like having a girlfriend is a lot of work okay#maybe five just didnt have the time to slowdown and consider things like space#maybe his headspace was too fucked#sometimes you just forget about the moon - i know i do!#so sfgksncjf okay y e ah
my tags on this post::
#YES!!! #yes yes yes #okay #so#everytime someone mentions or even hints at dave having anger issues i wanna fucking cheer bc thats one of my biggest hcs for him#like yeah he’s sweet and gentle and respectful and all that - genuinely a good man - our lil jewish gay#BUT#he did grow up in the 50s and 60s which as op said would have surrounded him with a lot of toxic masculinity. now i dont think he would be#a toxic kind of masculine AT ALL but it definitely would have forced him to hide his emotions and feelings and idk hobbies and of course his#sexuality. and i say hobbies bc there isnt a canon answer for it i dont think but i personally hc dave as being someone who loves art#specifically: drawing. dave keeping a lil sketchbook and some pencils under the pillow on his cot in vietnam?? yes please#so anyway yeah - he wouldnt have really had any good examples of how to properly take care of your anger - although he has enough#heart and common sense to know its really fucking wrong to take it out on women and children and people one is dating WHICH - another hc i#have that ties into this is that somehow his dad found out that he’s gay and beat the crap out of him over it. because unfortunately thats a#thing that happens. so his main male example was an abusive pos. and then he goes to vietnam which is fine because its not like he has#anyone stateside that will miss him - that will talk to him anymore - and its a warzone so there are a lot of ways to work out your anger#and yeah that of course includes bar fights. and he does - usually - try and keep a hold on his anger until he’s away from anyone who might#feel threatened - and he doesnt wanna end up taking out an innocent on accident - but he’s not actually perfect and so sometimes he fails#and it happens around klaus one time and seeing his love’s reaction - the making himself smaller - trying to hide - going quiet and so#clearly afraid - and not just afraid but afraid OF HIM - freezes him to the core where he stands because nobody has ever reacted like that#before. or if they have he never noticed or cared because they didnt matter. but this is klaus. his klaus. who he loves and would never do#anything to hurt him. his klaus who he protects and defends and knows he wants to spend his life with - no matter how impossible it is#he wants to go to klaus and apologize - try to undo the damage done simply by him raising his voice and lashing out - but he doesnt know#what to say or how to say it - he doesnt know what to do with the situation honestly. so he leaves the tent and goes to take his renewed#anger and frustration out on whatever he can find so he can calm down and hopefully get into the right headspace to have whats#no doubt going to be a really hard conversation with his boyfriend. because where do you even start??#but of course they talk it out and dave promises to work on his anger and on how he lets it out and yknow.. its dave so klaus trusts him and#it takes some time - there are some incidents - but dave works hard and learns a lot from klaus - including how to unlearn a lot of shit he#grew up with - and its rough but having a partner from the future who breaks all kinds of barriers definitely helps#so y eah. those are my brief feelings on it and i wanna marry op
my tags on this post::
#!!!!!!!!!!!! #YES #i adore this post#i could never pinpoint why the introduction on the bus made me feel like That but this is it!!#its just so sweet and innocent - even surrounded by other soldiers in the middle of a warring country#the innocence and unbearable fucking adorableness of their first convo on that bus just… its so bright and lovely it makes everything else disappear#the only thing that matters is the two guys getting to experience that ‘o h’ moment for the first time in their lives bc their childhoods#never let them have that #i assume#bc like op said klaus didnt go to a regular school and he wasnt p much stuck in that house and then he was on the streets so#and for dave like.. i guess he could’ve had that moment in school? but it would’ve been one-sided and he never would have#told anyone. 1960s. gay jewish man. yeah.#they’re each others first (and only) loves and i just really fucking adore that and live off of posts about them
my tags on this post::
#what if he wasnt dead-dead though???#bc like… the day five found them all dead was apparently the day the apocalypse happened right? so its not like they’d been dead for days#weeks or w.e yknow??#and the time between klaus dying and coming back is varying and undetermined - there’s no canon timing for the length of his deaths#so what if he came back to life??#like okay i know its not really possible in canon bc five buried them i think?? or is that a fanon thing??#i cant remembering #anyway#but still - in general klaus not being permanently dead in the apocalypse is another possibility#and five didnt know about it bc after finding them all he began his 45 year journey#and klaus wakes up alone and essentially has to learn to survive and he doesnt know five was ever there bc..well.. yeah#five is long gone#maybe klaus lives out his days in that wasteland#and he doesnt remember it where five does bc five time traveled back and klaus didnt. the klaus that got stuck in the#apocalypse is a different klaus - like a different timeline. the klaus from ep1 never got stuck in the destroyed future so#he’d have no knowledge or memories of it or anything#or - second thought - he kills himself at some point after waking up and either begs god to let him stay dead or he strikes some kind of#deal with her so he doesnt have to return to whats left of earth#oooo or something happened that put a lock on his powers?? like yknow those cuffs and devices and stuff in stuff in fantasy that freeze the#users abilities?? that’d be an interesting plotpoint bc then like who did it and why and what was the last day really like? yknow#vanya’s meds but More is the idea #just a thought#but anyway idk im just a big fan of klaus with the inability to die and all the possibilities that brings
my tags on this post::
#i’ve actually never stopped to consider why he didnt notice them except for my v first tua watch-thru#which is odd bc like that seems like a thing one should notice after a few watches??#but w.e #anyway#my only other hc for that part of the episode isnt that klaus didnt notice them bc he’s used to guns#it’s that he didn’t hear them#or that they weren’t loud enough -to him- to register as gunfire initially#bc like one of my close hcs is that he has bad hearing. growing up with people screaming in your ears 24-7 365 can’t exactly be good for#his ears now can it? and with how loud some of them are and how close they can get to him - without touching him - that’s just.. a lot of#fucking volume okay#now add in the academy’s mission alert siren#how loud he listens to his music with headphones on when he’s trying to drown out some REALLY LOUD SCREAMING#and then being near gunfire growing up. those bank robbers had guns and weren’t exactly a big distance away#all the raves and clubs and parties he goes to?? places where music is played so loud the room shakes and you cant hear anything else and#the music itself can be heard from blocks away?? that’s an indeterminable amount of intense noise#and then of course the gunfire of vietnam#so like… boys ears have SUFFERED. whether they wanna acknowledge that in canon or not#so the shooting at the theater - the shooting thats IN the theater - which is large and meant to house sound#thats happening across a big city street from where they’re standing and they’re behind the food truck and if klaus was ordering when it all#started that was just another level of sound and he’s not exactly focused bc everything is awful yknow?? so either it takes him a second to#notice or register it on his own or maybe he doesnt and ben says something?? idk but that’s kinda the field i’ve landed on for that scene#not that im not here for op’s hc!!! bc it really is a good one and it makes sense. im just rambling my own theory here bc i like considering#the Ways for Things sometimes. esp with klaus involved. this does make me wonder tho… if his hearing somehow is -fine- in canon…. h o w?#bc like bitch who tf can take all that and have perfect hearing?? thats gotta be impossible. if they are fine is it related to his powers#somehow?? like.. does his casual passing between life and death all the time mean he doesnt have mortal ear weaknesses? its weird but im..#i’ve got theories.
my tags on this post::
#probably in the massive fucking pockets of his fluffy coat#see also:: a dealer’s place #a boyfriend’s place#an ex-boyfriend who is also a dealer’s place#a girlfriend’s place #a partner’s place#all ex’s of course bc dave is the only valid romantic relationship#he made friends with the person who owns a nearby thrift store and they help him out#he has a locker at a public place like the ymca#he only has one outfit before returning to the mansion so he has nothing to carry - ever on the move#he thiefs off of people in rehab and crackhouses he stayed in that are dumb enough to leave their shit unattended#when he sees something he likes or he feels its time for an outfit change#he mostly sticks with his lace up pants as far as bottom pieces go bc its much harder to sneak away with skirts#and the kind of crazy pants he likes. there’s only room for one pair of pants for this pan disaster#after returning to the mansion he has access to the funky gay clothes he had managed to aquire before leaving all those years ago#bc like… i kinda hc that he got out of there fast and probably higher than fuck and had nothing packed#have you ever tried to pack while high?? it’s harder than it has any right to be#crack theory:: he had a bag - we just never saw it bc in the beginning he wore it under his floofy coat bc safety and he didnt need it the#rest of the time.#i have a lot of thoughts and headcanony opinions about klaus’s time on the streets so thank u#for giving me a place to dump some of them
#a collection of my dumbass tag rambles about the umbrella academy#for the ever lovely#hellomyguru#im definitely gonna be thinking of more pride hcs tho bc... Gay.#oooo i should make a post about my gender/sexuality hcs for all the siblings maybe?? ive seen other people do that and like.. i wanna share#but i also dont want to be eaten by people who disagree so... mayhaps not.#idk.#anyway. i knew i typed a lot in tags but uh... i wasnt aware of how bad it was. whoops?#mytuaposts
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The full story
(Heya all! This is litteraly the full story of Maeddrona up till the point im rping her, I just kinda took this moment to word vomit everything I made for this character, she’s been developing in my mind for about six months, So, yeah. OOC super Long post under the break!)
Maeddrona is a literal incarnation of the void, previously I mentioned it being old, but the void is old and a God actually looked around as the universe got more and more busy and full- It just kinda.. stopped. Once humans became a thing it looked at mortal life and envied humans for achieving so much with so little time, it looked at the smaller picture of happiness humans could carve for themselves amidst a bloody history. So it just kinda, gave up it’s greater power and sentience, it’s essence possessing humans every once in a while.
These humans would usually barely live passed the age of 15, their lives being ended by some odd coincidence one way or another. It seemed as if dark reality had no place for hope and optimism. There was one that lived to be older, in about the 2nd Millennium *cough* but she was murdered but someone very close to her.
Now, Maeddrona was growing up on her planet of Fortuna a little bit before Emps has started his rise on Terra. She reaches about age 35 and is the first Void-Born to awaken to her powers.
The entire planet is wiped clean of animal life and the planet itself is shrouded in an odd bubble-ish thing of space so warped you can look at it and see the stars behind you. This is only an illusion, and a result of the explosive amount of power awakening her, but she is left alone on this planet and with the isolation of the Age of Strife, no-one’s gonna show up. (if someone did show up, it would look almost like a black hole might be there, and they’d turn right the fuck around, because whatever that is, we’re not fucking with it)
So Maeddrona, now awakened to her void powers, realizes she... can make things happen by thinking about them on the Planet. Nothing big or overly huge- but time seems to have stood still since she gained her powers, but if she focuses on a plant growing and producing fruit, that’s what that one plant will do until she stops thinking about it. So she can at least survive- just, things are... wrong here. She also begins to have dreams, memories of each past life. Not movie-style, i mean boring, day by day, feels like real time dreams until she wakes up. It it does feel like she is this person, not like she’s watching from outside. She doesn't quite understand what these dreams mean. but she begins to write them all down in a journal.
Though, with Maeddrona being void, have discovering she can utilize a pocket dimension of just empty space, and that putting anything besides herself in there will slowly desolve it. A being with power like this and also who just caused an entire planets worth of population to die would be very interesting to atleast one God i can think of...
So Tzeentch enters her head, uninvited, occasionally, and tries to find out what the fresh funky fuck is happening in THIS corner of the galaxy! Maeddrona is convinced she’s going crazy and the eldritched fuck is all for it. Eventually Maeddrona says something like “prove to me you’re a god of knowledge and not my mind going mad, give me the knowledge I need to escape this fucking planet.” So she stands there, waiting for her mind to suddenly ascend with understanding and learning.
Then a book drops to the ground next to her.
Then another.
Then it starts RAINING BOOKS and she just runs to hide in a building, Fully believing a god was in her head now.
So, now, she starts reading and begins making a ship. It takes her the better part of 50 years (when she awoke to the void her body stopped aging, but more as a “she is nothing, neither alive nor dead” kinda thing) with non-stop work and learning and failures and dedication to get SOMETHING functional. (Thankfully she has an entire worlds worth of resources all to herself) Then she starts fucking with how to FTL travel- because she doesn't have a warp drive. She couldn’t actually make one- so she fucks around with the void, and finds she can travel trough the void while going through the warp as a bit of a substitute. (Its similar to how the Tau FTL travel)
So she ends up getting to another planet! But she enters in so close to the planet that she kinda crashes. not far from her crash she finds a few dying people- she (correctly) assumes this might be her fault and tries to fix it, attempting to do something with her powers to save them. She saved one. She makes the first Void-Touched. The void changes her hair, and it tells her a name that she likes far better than her own, and is so grateful to Maeddrona that she wants to follow her when she leaves. Maeddrona isnt alone anymore
(at this point I should mention I take a lot of things from Warframe- specifically names, weapons, frames and abilities. I just love it so much!! but that’s all I really take.)
So for the next long while Maeddrona flies about space, making another deal with Tzeentch to get dreams from people dying that are compatible with the void (she doesn’t question how he knows who is and who isnt, he’s a God *shrugs*) and gets about 30 people in her little family. Occasionally they run back to her Fortuna because it’s their planet now and no-one else knows its there. (Yes, i have all of these as OCs, i know all their plots and stories;;;;)
Then one dream leads her to Terra, where a small boy is dying. Foolishly, she goes. She has much better control over her powers now, masking the ship with the same warped gravity look to try and mask their presence as they go to the biggest hornet nest in the galaxy.
And she is not surprised when the warmongering ruler of the planet does interrupt her in the middle of saving a child. He questions her, and she answers honestly. But her soul just feels... wrong. off. like it’s not there, but obviously something is!
She smiles, and offers her greetings. She does not prostrate herself before him, does not whisper rumors and legends and feats of his beings.
She smiles and patiently waits for him to respond. through their conversations an interest grows. Both are old souls and both hold immeasurable power.
And both consider themselves human.
When she says she is void, he asks if she is Chaos, ready to destroy her if needed. She gags. As by now she knows the intentions of the voice in her head, He and the 3 others have stolen a few of her Void-touched. “I am no God.” would come her reply, Honest.
He would then decide, though not entirely honest, she is no threat, And that these powers she speaks of are interesting, He asks if she would mind being studied,
of course she says yes
the fool she is
Eventually a relationship does form, and while their views are fairly different on many topics (read: most if not all) they balance each other out when they are willing to listen to one another, as both are incredibly hard headed and stubborn. He lets her in on the Primarch project, wanting her insight on raising children as she has been motherly to most if not all her Void-touched.
And he even offers they should make a child from her genetics, to raise along with the Primarchs. She will be human- or Void-born as Maeddrona would call her. But she loves the idea.
Then, tensions rise a bit. the primarchs are still being developed, but Emps wishes to increase the reach of his Imperium a bit as well. there is a system he wishes to acquire- and Maeddrona offers her and her children to do so instead, they can get there faster and her children are very effective with their abilities and such. But he refuses.
This is not the first time this has happened, she thinks he is afraid of the Void, afraid that it is too similar to chaos to be fully trusted on battle. And then, Tzeentch speaks to her once more, agreeing with her, She’s right! Of course she’s right! She should just get there first and do it before he arrives anyway. Show him he’s wrong, give him undeniable proof.
So she does. And... the conversation she has with the Emperor is less than pleasant, It is long distance, but he has been aware of Tzeentch talking to her for some time, he was growing worried that she wouldn’t shoo him away and would sometimes humor his asinine conversations. But now
Now she’s starting to listen to Tzeentch.
He tells her they will have a talk when he arrives, and plans to give an ultimatum as she is so close to falling and she doesn’t even know it. While waiting for Emps to arrive Maeddrona makes a discovery that she is pregnant, this being incredibly exciting news as she believed the void made her infertile.
When Emps finally arrives and she is sent for, and he feels something is wrong. When he sees the presence of two souls, though masked and hard to make out from the void, his mind is not on pregnancy, it is on her fall. He assumes she has allowed Tzeentch to at least semi-possess her and makes a decision, he grimly faces her smiling self and names her an enemy of the Imperium.
At first she is stunned into immobility- but then he begins approaching her, and she flees. She uses the void to go back to her ship and tells all her family that the Emperor is going to kill all of them- So she uses her power and uses escape pods to put them all in Void-stasis (it’s like a Schrodinger's box really, while it’s closed, whatever’s inside of it does and does not exist at the same time until someone opens it and everything exists again. So, they arent even sleeping, just not existing.) and sends them out, one by one, because she doesn’t understand and thinks he’s here to slaughter them because of the void.
She then send out two pieces of equipment, a head accessory known as the “Halo of the void”, and her giant two handed long sword, the “Blade of void.” She then separates her soul into three pieces among herself and these things, using her emotions as separation points. Her confusion and shock go into the Halo, her anger and feelings of betrayal go into her sword, leaving her with her fear. Her incomparable fear. She sends these two pieces out into their own pods
And the Emperor boards her ship. It is quiet, eerie as he walks. It is not a warship. This is their home. This is where they lived, had comforts and hobbies. The walls are lined with pictures and drawings, many areas are made to be comfortable lounging areas, doors are stuck open from the commotion, leading windows into shared rooms of her children.
This was their home. And he must walk through it to get to where Maeddrona is hiding. And when he does she is a mess, curled up on the ground and sobbing uncontrollably. It’s too late for words as she approaches her, but he stops. He cares for her enough to want a near painless death for her- but curled up like this she has made it impossible, so he contemplates how to go about this,
His pause gives her hope, and she uncurls for a moment, bleary eyes looking up at him,
And she says his name. She says his name. She knows his name yes of course she knows his name. Spoken with hushed voice only to him in their moments of privacy and passion.
Now said breathlessly
As his sword is already plunged through her.
As this happens, Limbo, the first Void-touched Maeddrona ever made, enters, trying to save Maeddrona and escape together. And she screams. Rushing to her mother’s side, crying, bawling, and screaming at the Emperor.
He leaves, he does not need to kill her child- then she screams about what Maeddrona was going to tell Him.
About her pregnancy.
And he does stop in his tracks at that, the truth of the second soul’s presence now dawning on him. But he only stops for a moment before continuing back, through the halls of a ruined home, with his mistake and his mistake alone.
He then returns to Terra to find the Primarchs scattered.
And that’s where this story turns, The Emperor basically dies with the Heresy, his soul shattered. Then one small part, one tiny bit, that loved Maeddrona, that never stopped loving Maeddrona, finds her small soul in the warp. As the void is like permanent marker- you can never really get it off once it’s on something. So he finds her, attaches his soul to hers and uses what of his power he can to give her a stable body in the warp.
And that is the Maeddrona I have as my muse :)
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