i sound like the youngest boomer on earth whenever i say this but it really was a mistake for baby gays to learn about the term fruit. idk what it is about the internet that makes kids see a derogatory term for a marginalized group they’re part of, or even just adjacent to, which they’ve never been targeted with and decide it’s just their new Special Inside Joke Swear Word. some 16 y/o online calling a picture of a celebrity wearing a gaudy sweater fruity or faggy isn’t “reclamation” it’s just parroting homophobia and not funny in the slightest.

speaking among onesself or close friends is one thing but when it gets to the point (and it has) where people are calling real life people they barely (or don’t) know homophobic terms, it doesn’t matter if the person saying it is gay or not.

why I joined tumblr (full story)

TW VENT

I had been bullied since a young age when I went to middle school I kinda became mentally insane there when I was there ppl would always bully me cuz of my looks,”weird things” and I do stuff that are “weird to them” I had very few friends and they ended up bullying me physically(mostly mentally tho) (dw they dnt hurt me just push me ,throw things at me and stuff) I never went to a counselor or got mental help because my parents are pretty strict and they get mad at me for the smallest things and ever since I told my parents why _ they would get mad at me which made me not tell them stuff anymore and I matter what I do they always manage to find out (one time when I was 9 I had two friends who were jealous to who which one is my bff and we went to a counselor and stuff and my parents found out and blamed it on me saying I was the one jealous ever since that when I do something “wrong” my parents would always blame me but one day I just had this thought if I became famous maybe people would accept me and why I chose gacha as my passion is because 1. I’m not good at art and I refuse to be one of those cringe kids to make rly cringe vids lol 2. I heard of it when I was 8(cuz of fnaf lol) my parents made leave the internet game I had acces to gacha and stuff when I was 9 but when I got my phone I rediscovered it:D but first I needed ocs after that I kinda just forgot abt that but during winter break I wanted to make art for fun and fame but I’m not good so I tried to do a anime art generator(I didn’t realized it was wrong until the future lol) but then I discovered picrews I did my first one and it was fun I wanted to make my friends as certain characters as human wolves cuz I got interested in wolves lol then I found more picrews so I did the same thing for them lol but then I found out abt this anime dress up game(forgot the name lol) so I did it for them and that’s when I got their names I was going to do fancy words for their colors but I did it but I used it in japanese since I was interested in anime recently now I got my ocs I recreated them in gacha and I made a few vids for fun meanwhile at school the ppl there still bullied me and I was pissed for the last time so I started social media to take another step I didn’t wanted to get payed on YouTube so I didn’t do that for a while so I did Pinterest instead but I couldn’t figure out how to make posts or videos so I tried to find substitutes and turns out tumblr was one of them so quickly created an account and got started one day my friend told the ppl abt my tumblr and they tricked me (I was dumb lol) to asking me my tumblr user and they saw it and they bullied me for being a gacha person since but that didn’t stopped me as I progressed, made recent posts, tried to make my ocs look better, edit better and have good vids and here I am today as I will take my next big step soon

And with the bullying thing I left that school and got a fresh start on a new school it’s only a little bad but the ppl have no idea abt my interest on gacha(except for a few ppl but they support me) but I feel bad for leaving my bff the only one there who loved gacha just as I do but I am mean towards some people there because it’s hard to trust certain people cuz they remind me of my bullies which made me have trust issues

Every time I see the occasional floating SU post talking about how no one understood The Point, I both get it and immediately recognize that, due to the complex hate vortex created on tumblr during its run, people have selective memory for what legitimate and illegitimate criticisms were being made for the show. Heres a short list, do not add to it:

-the racism from outside and inside the house (human zoo full of brown people, entire bismuth plotline, white people saying garnet isn't black "shes an alien" which also happened for all of her fusions, blatant silencing of black teens written of as "the discourse" whenever they made decent talking points about anything, etc)

-people crucifying rebecca sugar for drawing illicit material as a minor (something a lot of ppl who do art or likes art makes or consumes when they get really into drawing or shipping)

-people shouting "rebecca sugar is jewish! she knows what she's doing" to any criticism at all to silence other people just engaging with the show and stating things they didn't like about certain episodes

-the reveal of rose quartz, the beautiful fat character we spent all this time learning bits and pieces about, being a skinny tall girl(pink diamond) in essentially a fat suit

-homophobic and transphobic people capitalizing on the discourse tags to shout louder and louder about small things that'd go under the radar of any other show further poisoning the cesspool (dumb shit like peridot being child coded)

-how the SU crew handled advertising when they really shouldn't have been doing any marketing ( the concrete reveal and immediate backtracking) and I do blame CN for not doing more actual marketing and trying to bank on social media clout with animators who are not equiped for this

-people asking for lowered stakes when it comes to the diamonds whole schtick because of the implications, and they could predict what the showrunners would do based on previous plotlines

-people upset because during a time where we were getting a fascism free sample(drump), the imaginary fascists get a handshake and a "okay, restorative justice time" moment

-severe lack of understanding that the show was cut short due to the ruby/sapphire wedding, and the movie and sequel series was an attempt to make up for it, and i can't say whether or not this was done well because I dropped out of SU before the movie dropped

In summary, I do think Steven Universe was important. It did do a lot of things well, and it helped open more doors for other creators to do more fun gay and trans stuff in their shows including handling difficult topics. Whether those other shows handle ALL those topics well isn't something I'm going to waste my breath on. If the writing captivates me then it captivates me, and now whether or not it's good is always second to whether or not I find it fun.

My little brother and I watched SU together like we did Gravity Falls and Adventure Time, and I was able to use the metaphor of Stevonnie to explain my nonbinary status to him without any issue. However, at some point for me, I stopped finding the show fun, and I know for a lot of people sucked into the tumblr hate vortex that meant they had to equate the show as Bad.

I don't know if I'll sit myself down and watch the movie or follow up series, but this isn't because I think they're bad. I simply have gotten back into actual adult fiction books and comics, so a lot of YA or kids content haven't been hitting those same brain spots with me like they used to when I was a minor or a young 20 something trying to figure out how to be a person.

There's more I could say about how lgbt+ writing and art is held under a tighter microscope than the most milquetoast cishet content, but there's already dozens of posts floating around that explain it better than I feel like doing at this hour.

What I will say though, is if you loved SU at first and you started to hate it, like genuinely hate it, maybe take the time to figure out when the hate started, what caused that hatred, and why you hated it, especially now that you don't have every other post on your feed talking about how SU sucks yelling in your ear.

man i feel so bad for girls on social media oh my god.

i mean i have been through that situation (not to that extent but still) so i get where they're coming from and i do not blame them one bit. but it is just so disheartening and disgusting.

social media is SUCH a double edged sword in each and every aspect. i mean i get it onlyfans and other stuff that revolves around it gives you more control over your content, pricing yada yada, more people are reacting negatively to slut shaming which is for the better too, but it is just making teens and heck preteens think that they should act more 'adult' in the guise of empowerment.

it is skin crawling to think ab where exactly is feminism headed because on one hand more people are encouraging equality, but on the other, children on social media (getting exponentially younger) are exposed to this botched idea of feminism and sexuality and stuff. and if they're exposed to this shit at such a young age, obviously their perception of everything is going to be fucked too, you cant honestly blame them.

you can convince yourself wearing revealing clothing and posing in 'sensual' poses is 'liberating' to yourself, but yk that subconsciously you're trying to appear attractive and sought after. (talking about straight young girls.)

wait till you're 18 atleast oh god (although really, that too is not old enough imo but sure)

the only time i really dont give a fuck even if someone is walking in scraps is when you're financially independent, atleast for most of the part. accn to me that is when you're mature enough.

other than that all i feel is disgust (not at them but everything that moulded their mentality incl; obv media and most importantly, their parents).

a lot of them are children of ppl with generational wealth, so it makes it easier to pass around snarky comments. but they are just kids!! they are so so young and they're sexualising themselves and it is just worse because it clearly represents how negligent their parents are being.

i am not saying people from lower economic backgrounds dont go through this (possibly way worse even) but it is a fairly discussed topic. and it is easy to alienate the richer sects (and also this rant was elicited seeing the profiles of financially well off kids)

alright so apart from myself i personally know 2 other girls who were ruthlessly sexualised when we were fucking 11.

that was the point i had just started getting attention that went beyond platonic, and it was 99.9% degradingly sexual. and i just remember accepting and even feeding into it which is so utterly disgusting in hindsight.

i am sure they're more girls who were sucked into this but ik the other two girls because they were popular around school as they were more attractive than me and i was in the 'nerdier' group. and moreover they had public social media accounts with large followings so whatever i went through, it would have been a hundred times worse for them.

and i think it was same for them too- when you're young you notice that others sexualise you and you're 'expected' to be that way, so you start feeding into it yourself (at least thats what happened to me and i think it's common?)

also i should mention that i have had absolutely phenomenal female role models growing up that were in direct relation to me, so before all this my self identity was entirely based on intelligence and academics, i wasnt exposed to a lot of attention on social media, (always found that uncomfortable) and even when this stuff was going on, people who i was close to and i myself expected academic excellence from me (healthy amt of pressure) so a large part if my identity was still based on that.

what i mean to say is that although i dont know their upbringing (honestly idk shit ab them) i do realise it is extremely possible that they (and other girls) didn't have the same support system as me. and despite all the positives, i was irreversibly affected (a lot of issues, i still am working on resolving years later), i have no clue what the others went through.

ik one of them had negligent parents, because why the fuck would you agree to buy your 11 year old revealing clothes omg. and she still sexualises herself on social media, so i know it has affected her. (again, i dont blame her one bit.)

and though the way my parents handled this was way off than how they should've, but at least they cared enough to give a shit.

i just see legit children on social media being subjected to what i am sure is far worse scrutiny. and it is impossible for their parents to not be aware but they blatantly dont give a flying fuck.

i am not super active on ig but occasionally i come across profiles of 14-19 year olds and oh my god. they're headed down the same pathway i was at 11-14. sure they are older, but thats not even close to being old enough!!! and i think i came across as 'so above all that' and condescending even. but what i mean to say is ki i just feel so fucking disgusted seeing more and more girls feeling like they have to be 'sexy' in order to breathe.

also another thing that tipped the bucket for me was that i just came to the realisation that ALL of my male friends (trust me, a lot.) have sexualised me (and other women) moreover a grp of guys allegedly repeatedly joked ab g-raping me and my best friend, which i think, prevented me from completely being sucked into the rabbit hole of self fetishization and totally flipped off the romantic feelings switch for me. so i can see the others from more of a 'past experience' lense (?)

why are all 'empower yourselves' posts and stuff about being sexually liberated. i mean sure you should be comfortable sexually and more convos ab sex makes it a less hush hush, and safer topic. but let us focus on other shit too, yeah? looking pretty isnt the only thing that is going to empower you.

i am just so done oh my god.

Happy New Year! What's the tea concerning Z being on strike? I'm not on Twitter so I miss all the posts on that platform. Do you have a screen shot of the post? Also, what points made that you slightly agreed with. Z had a post today that she didn't even bother to caption. Not sure what's going on with her, but I agree that we should give her space to work through it. As fans, we just don't know the behind the scenes of her life even though some fans act as if they do.

Yes, @tomdayaland posted the screenshots to their blog. It's from a fan account called Zendayainsight on IG. I think they've gone now last I heard.

Anyway---

Here are the links to posts:

https://tomdayaland.tumblr.com/post/638876397776076802/oh-z-deffff-saw-it-after-that-account-posted-the

https://tomdayaland.tumblr.com/post/638876728496881664/yeah-this-is-just-one-of-the-many-things-the

And these are the screenshots...

My overall thought is that fans can be pretty entitled when it comes to their faves. I've even seen some Tom stans behave in the same way (ie. the meltdowns and rude comments over him doing the "big chop" for his role in "Cherry" were just uncalled for imo - he's an ACTOR... his physical appearance is going to change for roles.... it's just HAIR ppl) and it always makes me cringe. 🥴

With that said, my thought was that as entitled as this fan behaved, I can somewhat see how from a FAN'S pov it looks as though Z is "ghosting" her fandom. I don't think the fan was right in making rude posts about going on "strike" however (as I've said on this blog multiple times before, these celebrities don't owe you all JACK - their job is to work and that's basically IT!). With that said, even I as a Z fan have noticed a change in her social media "presence" especially over the past year, and at first I was blaming it on the JE "influence" lol (since he's usually absent from social media), but now I'm seeing this is just a personal change for her.

I used to wonder if maybe she was going through smthg (and who knows, maybe she is? ), but now I'm thinking that she might just prefer to be more low-key about her personal life so that she doesn't start to feel like her fame is a cage. Maybe she also felt that some fans were getting a bit too intrusive in her life. 🤷🏾‍♀️ When I see her (especially recently) make an appearance she seems to be in good spirits, so she might just need breaks from social media every now and then. Even Tom has talked about feeling pressured about posting and how many likes he's getting and has needed to take breaks at times.

I think ppl seen to forget that celebrities are just PEOPLE just like us at the end of the day. Multiply your insecurities x 100 and that might be what celebrities feel because their faces and lives are much more out there for the public to see. 😔😓 The pressure must be immense at times, especially when you're young.

So.....Whatever it is, I think fans need to NOT take it personally, and realize that Z is no longer a young 19 year old lol. She's 24... this year she'll be 25! You're not going to be the same on social media at 24/25 as you were when you were 18/19 lol. Even Tom's social media posting has changed over the years if you go back to his old old posts lol.

Overall, I felt the fan was way out of line, especially if they consider themselves a "fan account". 😏 But if it made Z think a little bit about how she may be coming across to SOME in her fandom, then.... 🤷🏾‍♀️

/PAVLOVEWHORE/status/1315759891668242433?s=20 on twitter

oh her (she also thinks b is grooming kids because his music is appealing to them, the puppet, etc, and thinks grooming means... culture appealing to kids and younger adults? when it means a significantly/much older person building a relationship with a kid, introducing them inappropriately to sex eg porn, pornographic phallocentric sexuality, in order to sexually abuse/exploit them. so she may be suggesting that b’s doing it so he can have more kids to abuse a la the anon accusations). if you (general you, not the anon specifically) read ronan farrow’s catch and kill you know rich men protect themselves by doing crazy shit (spying, ndas, trashing accusers, blackballing women who rejected them or spoke out about sexual assault, catching and killing accusations) and this new accusation is in that same boat of crazy shit... but a non-plausible crazy shit. 

why would someone rich (unless this was happening vices era and before, when b and sarah were far from rich) bribe FANS to have accounts online smack talking breezy, dallon, accusers, etc. if so, they’re doing a terrible job, because there is so much shit being said about b, and now sarah, it’s unreal. (with zack, there are both substantiated and unsubstantiated, anonymous claims. i find some of the later claims plausible. he’s being taken far less out of context than b is. i don’t think he’s absolutely evil, but he’s clearly sexually harassed breezy, has been sexist/misogynist on his twitter, etc. i’ve talked about this more my tag for him.) i’ve come across comments on twitter, instagram, etc where two to none of the claims made about him are true the rest are... idk where most of this bullshit comes from. i’m tempted to do a debunker side blog here (eg the plausible, implausible, true, definitely false, etc). the rumor mill is really something. especially in the age of social media online.

i don’t think sarah and zack would do this. as we have seen over this summer fangirls (and boys) turn on their idols like WHOA. gives one whiplash just looking at it. it would be profoundly STUPID and shortsighted to use fans, because today’s fan is often tomorrow’s basher. fans also have no... loyalty in a sense to their celeb (eg it’s not like a religion, political belief system, country even), no job on the line, no contract, no lawsuit worries... all it would take for this to come out if it were true is someone within that circle of fans getting bribes to smack talk breezy to turn on sarah and/or zack and blab to others, show screenshots, etc. it could NEVER be private very long. even not turning per se, but just realizing it was wrong and sharing the convos, etc they had with them publicly. fans also LOVE talking about and showing the contact we have with our chosen celebs and celeb adjacent people, posting about it publicly. seriously, it is so foolish to try to have private GROUP convos where people bribe TEENAGERS and 20somethings with merch, tickets, photo ops, private photos of b, etc both on the levels of the youth and frequent fickleness of fans (how many leave an artist/show/fandom/franchise/etc after months, a year, a few years...), plus the outrage culture/cancel culture going on where some of the outraged are former fans, etc. 

even employees who agree to spy, hack, create fake personas online and in person, etc can turn on their employer, but someone who’s just there as a fan? there is literally not just no guarantee it won’t be found out, it probably fucking will. and quickly at that. the question is more when than if.

this situation, if it did happen, is also plausibly someone pretending to be sarah and/or zack and catfishing fans. chelsey was mentioned, and frankly... this is in her wheelhouse. she has extensively impersonated b and others online, for a few years. she has also hacked accounts and gotten photos/video of b that were supposed to be not public. and another important question, did these freebies eg ticket upgrades, photo ops with b, materialize? or did they not happen? the fact that some girls can be seen on the tour vids doesn’t prove they got them as a quid pro quo in exchange for slandering others and defending b online at all. (btw, the fact that there are chelsey defenders absolutely ASTONISHES me. wtf. there’s a lot we don’t know with breezy, b, etc so i can see to some extent people based on part of the picture, siding with “one side” and deriding the other, but with her? how? what?)

i know this is a crazy fucking idea on twitter for sure, and probably elsewhere online, but one (like me) can like both breezy & dallon AND brendon & sarah. fucking deranged, isn’t it, in this polarized fandom/these fandoms. b is getting the worst of it, but breezy is getting a lot of shit too. and i feel sorry for both of them in particular. again, the rumor mill: assertions of fact without evidence, even people coming forward with their names/faces, being spread around like wildfire and taken as confirmed, undoubtedly true fact eg the claim that breezy said that b knew about all the sexual harassments by zack of her the whole time (eg how could he have? eg how would he know what zack texts her? he obviously would have known some of it but those likely seemed in line with the joking around they did, would be my guess. i also think his anxiety and trying to fit in can come into play. he may have been a bystander to things zack did that crossed lines eg with breezy, idk. speaking of speculation, here’s me doing it. i also don’t think b did nothing wrong, and i’ve also talked about various things when i’ve come across them that i’ve had a problem with. 

there’s also aspects going on that i want to delve into, but i’m debating eg that one young male fan who’s apparently friendly with breezy and dallon now but used to be obsessed with b (including making sexual comments to him on twitter, wanting to look like him) and is claiming zack took advantage of him (jobwise). seems to be a history of mental instability there and a serious lack of boundaries. it’s not about monstering him; i feel bad for him. 

edit to add i’m still reading things on twitter, what i can find anyway, and another thing i’m ambiguous about discussing is breezy’s dms with others because ppl are posting screenshots. obv there’s more to read there too. in one she thought zack was doing the getting fans to target her and dallon thing in exchange for perks eg meet n greets. the closest she’s gotten to saying anything bad about b was saying he wasn’t always sweet (didn’t say if it was to her and/or dallon) and that she thinks he could have changed, that i’ve seen posted anyway.

also, there’s posts ppl are screenshotting of breezy from years ago to say how gross or disgusting or whatever she is and i’m just like “she’s so saucy, i love her.” it’s mostly pg level stuff too, and mostly about dallon, or brallon. like i said before, notice how what damns breezy (being sexual) excuses zack to many people. at most he’s an “old school roadie” who might have an apology to make, they dunno, but not really, people are so sensitive and breezy is a bitch who is to blame for everything. (seriously, there’s people who think she started it all eg the firezackhall tag, and somehow the accusations against b too. fuck outta here.)

PREFERRED NAME — nora. i think i started going by it in like, 2009?? my full name is eleanor but i hated it n thought it was way too pretentious n i never felt like it fitted me so when i started writing on forums i decided i’d be a nora rather than eleanor and then my school friends called me it and it just kinda stuck, the only person who calls me eleanor is my mum

PRONOUNS — she / her / ethereal being beyond comprehension

AGE — 23 but i tell everyone im 21 because even tho time is literally fake im desperately clinging to that fleeting thing we call youth trying to catch it like smoke in my hands

PINTEREST — i actually have two. this one is my main one where i just cram all my shit n i’ve had it for years and some of its super unorganised. then i also have this one which is one i made for exclusively female characters. it started as mythological figures but now its like, women in literature and the occasional oc as well. variety is the spice of life!

DISCORD — lindsay lohan’s meth#8664

TUMBLR (PERSONAL/MUSE/RPH) — i used to be froseths but now im pvrscphones cos ya gal is a fucking whore for mythology 

OTHER SOCIAL MEDIA YOU’D LIKE TO SHARE — oi oi guvna ere’s me twitta. also here’s my letterboxd n my goodreads if anyone still uses tht

MYER-BRIGGS — enfp / infp border .... the classic profile of a lit student

HP HOUSE — hufflepuff, am fuckin mad. 

ZODIAC — libra which is a joke because i am in no way balanced but i guess i AM indecisive and a peacekeeper so?

DO YOU BELIEVE IN ASTROLOGY? — i believe it when it says good shits gonna happen in my life and blame it if bad shit happens but i don’t strongly follow it i just find it interesting

HOW OLD WERE YOU WHEN YOU STARTED RPING ON TUMBLR — maybe like 14?? my first rp blog here is literally so embarassing i wrote as clove from the hunger games n my best friend irl wrote cato :/ it was wild

WHAT YEAR WAS IT? — like 9 years ago?? 2010 maybs

NAME A RANDOM ROLEPLAY THAT STICKS OUT IN YOUR MEMORY — me n my friend ellie made this really cool group the summer before we left for uni which was loosely based on a concept mentioned mayb once in the divergent series, but it gave us loads of freedom to make it our own thing. it was called the fringe n it was like..... this dystopian society where people with different genes were cut off from the rest of society n lived in overrun slum cities where different groups had like, a monopoly over weapons, produce, etc.... my character jack was the leader of this lost-boy-esque tribe called the wolf pack who were hunters n used to run across the rooftops wearing the skins of animals they’d killed and engage in tribal rituals with sacrifices to the gods n shit. sounds lame but everyone there was so invested in their character arcs that it was a shame to see it go. but ! it kind of reached its end point so we blew it up w nukes n they all died. tragic.

WHAT WEIRD ANIMAL WOULD YOU HAVE AS A PET IF IT WAS REALISTIC — a fox?? do ppl keep foxes? idk i’ve always just felt a sense of connection w them like when a fox stares at me im like this shit is life i am living and breathing in this bitch.... visceral

NAME THE FIRST SONG ON YOUR DISCOVER WEEKLY ON SPOTIFY OR THE FIRST SONG THAT COMES ON APPLE MUSIC / ITUNES SHUFFLE — everbody party tonight by cobra man n summer girl by haim..... not my usual stuff but big summer chillin vibes,.....

NAME A BOOK THAT YOU READ IN SCHOOL THAT YOU SURPRISINGLY LIKED — lord of the flies and also the handmaid’s tale. one of assignments was to write a chapter from another character’s perspective n i chose moira

NAME A BOOK YOU HATED THAT MOST PEOPLE LIKED — skellig. fuck off with ur asprin ugly bat man i don’t care. also of mice and men. don’t care about the rabbits or curley’s goddamn wife.

WHAT TV SHOW DID YOU RECENTLY BINGE? — im not a big binger bc i find it jst makes me depressed if i watch tv all day but im nearly finished stranger things season 3 n i recently finished euphoria (big rec but proceed w caution as quite triggering content)

FAVOURITE QUOTE — cool girl speech from gone girl. but also “there’s something dangerous about the boredom of teenage girls” i know its like.... such an overused quote but it really encapsulates this kind of feral girlhood that a few of my characters like bridget n greta have tapped into. i also loved the line “i feel like i could eat the world raw” from song of achilles, that really captures this kind of.... pure n childlike enthusiasm tht i wanna achieve w rory 

LINK TO A VINE THAT EXUDES YOUR ‘ENERGY’ — this is my energy completely am always covered in glitter n staring broodily out of the windows of ubers at 4am like im in the sad bit of an indie film 

DO YOU WRITE OUTSIDE OF RP? WHAT DO YOU WRITE? — uhh.... not as much as i shd.... i want to be a writer so i shd be makin some effort to get my stuff Out Into The World but im just not.... lol. ive done a lot of poetry collections . i wnt to finish a novel @ some point too.

THREE YOUTUBERS YOU STILL TRUST — bold of you to assume i trust any youtubers

A CELEBRITY CRUSH THAT JUST WON’T QUIT — id literally die for saoirse ronan n timothee chalamet :/ chance perdomo also owns my ass. 

EVER MEET A CELEBRITY? SHARE YOUR STORY — i once high-fived dani harmer, the actress who played tracy beaker. today my sister text me tryin to make me guess what celebrity she just saw on holiday in wales and for ages she let me think it was timmothee but it was actually bradley walsh from the chase :/

WHAT’S YOUR PICTURE-PERFECT NIGHT? — i am in a bomb ass crop top and mini skirt, several scrunchies in my hair, glitter all over my face, wearing cowboy boots. we eat dinner in a trendy but affordable pub that doubles up as a cocktail bar n then we drink zombies or sex on the beaches n go to a rave where everyone is on the same wavelength n i share drugs with girls in the toilets and we swap numbers knowing we will never text each other but its ok bc in that moment we feel like we are soulmates and everyone is super drunk n touching everyone else n its all very visceral and we walk through the woods when the rave ends and lie in the grass because we wish to suck out all the marrow of life 

A CONSPIRACY THEORY YOU KINDA BELIEVE IN — princess diana was murdered 

ARE ALIENS REAL? — maybe the real aliens are the friends we made along the way

PLAY ANY PHONE GAMES? WHICH ONES? — love island game im addicted and way too invested in my fictional relationship with bobby, a cartoon

WHAT’S A FILM YOU LOVED WHEN YOU WERE YOUNG AND RECENTLY WATCHED, ONLY TO FIND OUT YOU DON’T ANYMORE — bold of u to assume i remember my childhood. but if we’re talking last 10 years angust, thongs n perfect snogging is so so cringe 

DO YOU COLLECT ANYTHING? — pairs of glasses belonging to other ppl when they break / get new ones even though i can see perfectly well. 

WHAT’S SOMETHING YOU WANT TO LEARN MORE ABOUT BUT YOU’RE TOO LAZY? — mythology...... always a craving and a wish i’d read like ancient texts but my school wasn’t good enough to do greek or latin or any of that shit n even tho i could read english translations i cant be bothered. also criminal psychology

THREE LANGUAGES YOU DON’T SPEAK, BUT WISH YOU COULD — italian, french and latin

MOVIE YOU’VE WATCHED MORE THAN 5 TIMES — ladybird, about time, angus thongs, shrek 2, what we do in the shadows, the history boys, atonement, coraline, the breakfast club, ferris bueller’s day off

NAME A FICTIONAL CHARACTER FROM TV/FILM/MOVIE/GAME/BOOK THAT YOU FIND YOURSELF PROJECTING ON / YOU RELATE TO — cecilia lisbon. rue in euphoria. alison brie in glow. adam parrish in the raven cycle. richard papen. olivia cooke’s character in thoroughbreds. allen ginsberg in kill your darlings. lily in sex education. holliday grainger’s character in the film animals --- i too am an aspiring writer who never writes and just gets drunk instead .

DO YOU FOLLOW ANY SPORTS? WHO DO YOU ROOT FOR? — no. cba

HOBBIES BESIDES WASTING AWAY HERE? — i go to the movies basically every day bcos i work in a cinema. im also a voracious reader n i occasionally do theatre or costume making

PLUG A TV SHOW / MOVIE / BOOK / VIDEO GAME / ETC… YOU WISH MORE PEOPLE WOULD CHECK OUT — where the wild things are (film by spike jonze).  animals. beats. the book fen by daisy johnson and a girl is a half formed thing by eimar mcbride. andy warhol’s biography from a to b and back again

WHOSE BRAIN WOULD YOU LIKE TO PICK, ALIVE OR DEAD? — phoebe waller-bridge on how i get her life. carey mulligan on how she got to be such a good actress n how i can become her. maybs wes anderson. maybs gillian flynn. i tend to listen to podcasts w the ppl i really wanna pick the brains of.

TEAM EDWARD OR JACOB? — edward :/

LAST MOVIE SEEN IN THEATRE — blinded by the light n i lovd it

DO YOU STILL READ? — when i finished uni i kinda got out of the habit but this week i finished two books so ive set myself the challenge of a book a week.

IF SO, WHAT ARE YOU CURRENTLY READING? — i finished song of achilles yesterday n i also finished call me by your name yesterday. started circe by madeline miller today, im also partway through milkman by anna burns and the plays of annie barker

ON A SCALE OF 1-10, HOW MUCH DID YOU HATE FILLING THIS OUT? – 3 i didnt hate it bcos at heart i am self-indulgent and love fashioning some sense of self when i feel lost in a world that is scary and constantly changing 

how to understand tv ratings (so you’ll be prepared for cancellation/renewal announcements)

as most of you know, i had an internship last semester where one of my duties for the company was tracking and analyzing tv ratings. while i’m no expert on this yet, i worked with way more knowledgeable ppl than me on this and learned a couple things about ratings that i definitely didn’t know before, so i thought i’d share some of it now that b99 is back on and we def don’t want a repeat of last year’s debacle.

(also, i’ll be tracking and analyzing b99′s ratings over on @b99bythenumbers this season, so if you’re at all interested in any of this stuff pls check it out! that blog is still under construction and stuff but as this season gets the ball rolling, that blog will come to life heheh)

ok, so i’m gonna break this up into sections to keep it as organized/straightforward as possible, so we gonna cover:

what are nielsen ratings & how do they work? (aka what do numbers like 1.2/5 mean)

b99′s ratings & viewership

nbc’s ratings & viewership

ratings as the be-all end-all for shows? (other ways to support b99) (esp if you can’t access american cable)

what are nielsen ratings & how do they work?

so nielsen media research is a company that’s been measuring data for entertainment for just over 70 years now. tho they got a start in radio, they’re arguably most known in the modern day for their measurement of american television programming, as the data they gather from these measurements (the infamous “nielsen ratings”) strongly influence broadcast networks (abc, nbc, cbs, fox, & the cw) and channels in their decisions to renew or cancel certain programs.

the way nielsen measures this data is through selecting various households with tv’s across the u.s. to monitor what they watch, who’s watching, how often they watch, etc. so it’s not something everyone in the u.s. gets to do, like they might just randomly hit you up and ask if they can use your data. if you say yes, they have to install a bunch of stuff to monitor all tv’s in your household. (if you find this at all kinda interesting, i’d recommend reading this interview with a nielsen family bc it’s kinda wild)

so, now onto the numbers. i’ll use b99′s initial ratings for 6x01 last night as an example

the rating is the 1.2/5 number. the first number, 1.2, means that 1.2% of the 119.6 million households nielsen estimates to have television watched b99 (1.2% of households, not individual people). the second number, 5, is referred to as the “share”, and means that 5% of households watching tv at that time watched b99.

these numbers are “live + same day”, meaning they only include households that actually watched b99 live as it was on tv last night and people who watched it from their DVR the day it was aired live. (for example, i got home after the ep started last night but had set it to record, so i watched my recording as the ep was ending so if i was in a nielsen family, me watching b99 on my DVR the same night it aired would still count for their measurement of an L+SD rating.)

additionally, tho nielsen records a lot of data about different demographics and people of what age are watching what shows, the standard demographic used for these ratings is people aged 18-49, all genders.

the 3.56 is the total viewership in millions (aka the actual individual viewers).

my source for ratings: tv by the numbers (specifically above, their initial thursday 1/10 ratings)

b99′s ratings & viewership

back on fox, b99 had a pretty solid run for the first two or three seasons, until the ratings started taking a pretty steep nosedive in recent years that (unfortunately) kinda predicted and ultimately led to their cancellation. it’s important to look back on their past ratings as a show, because stability & improvement are major factors at play when networks are deciding to renew or cancel shows.

season 1 (2013-2014) ratings

b99 had a rly solid series premiere, tho it pretty quickly couldn’t retain its rating, as the difference between 1x01 and 1x02′s ratings is pretty major. it got its big 6.89 rating (!!!) in february 2014 bc it aired after the super bowl. this season ended with way less viewers than it started out with, which isn’t Great.

season 2 (2014-2015) ratings

overall, pretty similar numbers to s1, especially in the total season average. it had a few ratings above 2.0 which is Good, but those numbers didn’t hold steady. again, the season ended with way less viewers than it began.

season 3 (2015-2016) ratings

b99 dipped under 1.0 for a large portion of this season. that’s Big Yikes. cancellation becomes Very Real Possibility.

season 4 (2016-2017) ratings

this season’s average was less than 1.0.....cancellation is Very, Very Real Possibility.

season 5 (2017-2018) ratings

nothing above 1.0 for an entire season....this show is Doomed, and i honestly can’t blame fox for canceling it from a numbers and business standpoint, considering this was just a continuation of the trend established in s4 with the consistently lower ratings. it’s....kind of totally rational that fox did what they did, especially when you see how b99 compared (in ratings) to other fox shows in the 2017-2018 season:

as you can see fox just kinda took like the bottom half of its shows by rating and cancelled all of them...anything averaging under a 1.0 on fox just isn’t safe!!!

comparing to other shows (esp other sitcoms) on its network is another big factor in renewing/cancelling. tho there aren’t any other sitcoms suuuper similar to b99 on fox, enough comedies did better that b99 got the axe. which means we should probably look at

nbc’s ratings & viewership

and here’s their 2017-2018 season (in which they had the most viewers out of all the broadcast networks for the first time since like 2001 actually!!):

already, b99 is off to a good start, its 1.2 initial rating pretty high for nbc, but what’ll rly matter is if they can hold this rating for the rest of season 6. like i said, stability and improvement are everything in tv world! if b99 can continue like this for the rest of this season, i think we’ll be in pretty good shape.

and, honestly, nbc rly is a good network fit for b99, with its history of popular and acclaimed sitcoms (seinfeld, friends, will & grace, etc.) and its long-running and popular crime procedurals (aka any law & order series ever), and b99 is basically a combination of the two.

ratings as the be-all end-all for shows? (other ways to support b99)

while ratings are of the utmost importance to networks and channels, it’s not the sole deciding factor.

another thing networks and channels look at, as we live in the digital age, is BUZZ. this basically is industry-speak for how much people are talking about and movies! the most visible example of this is getting a show trending on social media when it airs.

a good example of a show like this is the good place. tgp hasn’t gotten stellar ratings this season, but has already been renewed...because a lot of people talk about it on social media! it’s usually trending on twitter when a new episode airs, and its objectively high quality writing has won over a lot of industry folks’ hearts, so it gets a lot of buzz in hollywood as well (hint hint similar to how the “guardians of the nine-nine” contributed to the fight to save b99 last year).

so, here are some tips on how to maximize b99′s ratings & overall potential for renewal:

WATCH. IT. LIVE. or DVR it and watch it ASAP, as final ratings come out within 24 hours after new episodes air. obvi this only applies to amercans with access to cable/tv but clearly these are the people not showing up for b99 since the ratings were so low while the fandom was so big and loud

forgot to record it but still live in the u.s.? watch it on your cable provider’s “on demand” services (if they offer it), hulu, or nbc.com as soon as the new episode comes out the next day!!! while these numbers won’t be reflected in the actual ratings, it’ll still tell the network you care.

are you a young adult who attends college away from home aka your family’s cable? look into your family’s cable provider’s online services! my family’s cable allows me to access our DVR away from home and even watch some things on demand, which has been a lifesaver while i’ve been away at college the past couple years. if you can access your DVR remotely through your cable provider’s website, use it to record b99 and watch it ASAP!

TWEET ABOUT IT. tumblr is cool and valid and all, but let’s be real - everyone’s looking at twitter, because most industry professionals don’t know how the fuck to use tumblr. twitter is straightforward and straight to the point; they want to see it trending there. so pls tweet using #brooklyn99 when the episode is on live!!! you have 3 major chances to do this: 9 pm est (u.s. east coast), 9 pm mountain time (2 hours after east coast), and 9 pm pst (3 hours after east coast) every thursday night.

talk about it in real life! get friends to watch it! again, may not contribute to the actual ratings, but it’s still nice to get more and more people into the show to watch it in other ways and talk about it with other people they know.

i know a lot of these methods are mostly applicable to people in the u.s. and/or americans with cable, but it’s rly important that those of us who fall into those categories do our parts!! fellow americans, let’s yeet this wheat!!!! all b99 fans from all over the world, i believe in all of us!!!!!!

Taylor Swift’s Feud With Scooter Braun Spotlights Musicians’ Struggles to Own Their Work

Prince, Janet Jackson and Jay-Z all fought to control their master recordings. In a blog post about the sale of her former record label, Swift put her personal spin on the issue.

By Ben Sisario and Joe Coscarelli July 1, 2019

It is one of the oldest and hardest lessons of the music industry: No matter how successful artists may be, chances are someone else owns their work.

Prince, protesting how his label, Warner Bros., had control over his master recordings, quipped in 1996: “If you don’t own your masters, your master owns you.” That same year, when Janet Jackson negotiated a landmark contract with Virgin Records, ownership of her original recordings was a major deal point.

Now we can add Taylor Swift to the chorus of artists who have bemoaned that their creative work is someone else’s property, as she once again used her social-media megaphone to stir debate about the inner workings of the music industry.

In a Tumblr post on Sunday, Swift responded bitterly to the news that her former label, Big Machine, had been sold for more than $300 million to a company run by Scooter Braun, the manager of pop stars including Justin Bieber and Ariana Grande.

Swift had strong personal objections to the deal, which included the rights to her first six albums, blaming Braun for orchestrating “incessant, manipulative bullying” against her by Kanye West, an on-and-off client.

But the episode also highlighted the fraught and little-understood industry politics of master recordings — the original copies of an artist’s work — and the copyrights associated with them.

The owner of a master controls all rights to exploit it, including selling albums or licensing songs for movies or video games. The artist still earns royalties from those recordings once associated costs are fulfilled, but controlling the master could bring greater income, as well as a level of protection over how the work is used in the future. (These rights are separate from copyrights for songwriting.) 

The deep significance that musicians attach to their masters was highlighted last month, when a group of artists sued the Universal Music Group over a fire in 2008 that destroyed many original recordings, after an exposé was published in The New York Times Magazine.

Historically, record companies have retained rights to masters in exchange for the financial risks they take in backing an artist over the course of their contract.

“Fundamentally, the business model that most record companies operate under is not unlike the venture capital business,” said Larry Miller, the director of the music business program at New York University’s Steinhardt School of Culture, Education and Human Development.

“They make investments in unproven talent,” he added. “The trade is that, traditionally, the masters stay with the record company.”

Swift, despite appearing to have an almost unrivaled level of self-determination as a star — like single-handedly getting Apple to change a royalties policy in 2015 — signed such a deal with Big Machine in 2005, at the beginning of her career. Her post on Sunday was partly an admonishment to young artists to avoid those kinds of contracts.

“This is what happens when you sign a deal at fifteen to someone for whom the term ‘loyalty’ is clearly just a contractual concept,” Swift wrote, in a jab at Big Machine’s founder, Scott Borchetta.

Hours later, Borchetta posted a rejoinder, including a snippet of a deal proposal, that suggested that Swift could have earned her recording rights back had she renewed with Big Machine last year. Instead, she signed with Universal. (Her next album, “Lover,” is due in August.)

Borchetta also called into question Swift’s claim that she only learned of the deal once the news broke — he said he texted her the night before — and noted that her father, Scott Swift, was a minority shareholder in Big Machine.

The barbs between Swift and Borchetta, a rare example of such contractual dirty laundry being aired outside of litigation, captivated the industry and raised questions about the age-old power dynamic between artist and label.

“This kind of deal is neither unusual or controversial,” the media mogul David Geffen said. “She didn’t want to put up $300 million. Someone else did. They offered her a deal that she rejected to get ownership of her masters. Only time will tell who made the wise decision.”

Geffen, whom Braun has frequently described as a mentor, added: “I’m betting that Scooter will build an important company with the addition of this asset.”

Steve Stoute, a music and advertising executive whose new company, UnitedMasters, allows artists to keep their rights, saw the Swift episode as a painful illustration of what he called “the fundamental problem with the record industry.”

“The record business historically runs the same business model as sharecropping,” Stoute said. “You build it; we make you think that you own it; you act like you own it; but at the end of the day, we own it.”

The battle between Swift and Braun also divided celebrities on social media, as accusations of exploitation intermingled with personal loyalties.

Some of Braun’s clients, like Bieber and Demi Lovato, defended his personal character. “I have dealt with bad people in this industry and Scooter is not one of them,” Lovato wrote on Instagram.

But other female artists took Swift’s lead as an opportunity to discuss their own experiences in a business that has long faced criticism for its treatment of many creators, especially young women and people of color.

“I signed contracts when I was 15 & I’m still paying the consequences for it,” the singer Sky Ferreira, now 26, wrote on Instagram after pointing people to Swift’s blog post. “Insisting on your rights, value & ownership doesn’t make you difficult.” She added: “Just because this system has been the same for decades doesn’t mean it’s okay or you need to bow down to it.”

In a statement expressing support for Swift, the pop singer Halsey wrote: “it turns my guts that no matter how much power or success a woman has in this life, you are still susceptible to someone coming along and making you feel powerless out of spite.” Alessia Cara chimed in: “stop stealing from women who work hard!!!”

And the rapper Iggy Azalea, while interacting with fans on Twitter, added: “this is why I’m so happy to own my master for this new album, they really do ppl crazy dirty on ownership of their intellectual property in the biz.” After years of limbo on major labels, Azalea recently announced a deal with the distributor Empire that gave her ownership of her recordings.

Tension over the ownership of recordings is nearly as old as the industry, but it has gained momentum as superstar artists have exerted greater control — typically after years of work. Prince rebelled against Warner Bros. in the mid-1990s, after nearly two decades of hits. And when Jay-Z became president and chief executive of the Def Jam label in 2004, he insisted on earning back control of his masters on that label.

The industry’s shift to streaming has begun to change the dynamic between artists and labels, which once held exceptional leverage through their ability to market albums and promote songs to radio stations. Given this change, some younger artists have leaned toward autonomy.

The singer and rapper XXXTentacion, for example, who was killed in a shooting last year, rejected traditional long-term label deals in favor of one-off contracts for each of his releases that offered lower payment upfront, but gave him full ownership and a higher royalty rate.

Swift’s talent for fueling debate continued on Tumblr — the platform where she frequently communes with her most faithful fans — well after she published her account of the deal. “taylor will not be silenced,” wrote one fan who earned acknowledgment from Swift.

Elsewhere, some questioned whether Swift, with her enormous wealth and reputation for careful self-mythologizing, was the best messenger for this ongoing battle, especially after Borchetta pushed back, sharing deal points and private text messages between the two parties.

But the power of Swift’s fame made her message about the importance of ownership a vital lesson, Stoute said.

“If you’re an artist today, you must go into the record deal owning your master,” he said. “If not, then you are basically building an asset that you will not own.”

The New York Times

SJW’s “Diversity” dogma and Tokenism comments

same with me

YES!!! THANK YOU!!!

good point

same, entertainment is for escapism, not propaganda but this is what happens when ideologues control any business

Pretty much.

muthafucken TRUTH ^

they do because 1) it is their “selling-pitch” and to guilt/shame you into watching/liking it and 2) it is so if you dare criticize it they use the women/POC/GLBT card on you and call you names to smear you and deflect attention away from the criticism that it is a shitty poorly constructed film, game, series, comic, etc they use “diversity” to protect their mediocre propaganda from negative reaction, backlash, criticism

yup, that is why feminism is a sham, by looking at the people in the movement, their mentality and hatred of femininity and healthy women, it is no wonder feminists indulge in fandoms to bash classical feminine characters and project themselves into male characters by stripping them of their masculinity and making them go against their original identity by screwing other male straight characters. Feminism is for self loathing fugly women who are anti femininity and anti masculinity in their natural forms.

exactly, they know they have to get them while they are young, the younger he better because they are at their most vulnerable and impressionable. it is very much like a cult, they’d groom their children too.

True, it is feminism that makes women turn against themselves and each other. it conditions them to hate their femininity, hate being healthy and attractive. It is these land whale types that attack classic and traditional femininity and want to make women more butch and masculine because they think that since masculinity is men’s strength then women should emulate it, when in truth femininity is women’s strength, but feminism views femininity as a weakness, thus they emasculate men to weaken them in society’s eye and promote women to be masculine under the dumb belief it is supposed to give women some magical strength that men possess, lol or in other words: ‘cock envy’. This leads to both men and women being unhealthy, depressed, miserable, they develop self-image issues, and instead of taking responsibility for their lifestyle and their gullibility for buying into feminism and anti-gender norms dogma, they blame attractive people or the air brushed celebrities and models (friendly reminder sex sells for a reason, human beings generally prefer attractive healthy partners, people that a obese is a turn off - unless you have a fetish for it). another fact is women are prone to jealousy, envy, (I’m a woman, I know, and every other women with an honest bone in her body knows it is true too) again it leads back to human nature and our hard wired competitive streak. Majority of society’s problems, men and women, where personal issues and self-image and all that are concerned stem from the backwards ideology of feminism attacking our natural behavior because feminism and its flawed theories attack gender norms for its own interest, not for the majority of people’s interests. it causes more problems than it fixes, the only people that benefit are the ones that are devout followers of that dogma...except they aren’t really because they’re still jealous and resentful to those that are not conforming to their ideology. this is why they are now pushing it onto younger people more than before.

yup, sad but true, this is what happens when they are exposed to conditioning through media for decades and pass it down to the next gen and peer pressure them to hate the natural norms of women, her femininity and nature. feminism is communism in a skirt and marxism in drag. feminists are their own oppressors.

well that is one way of putting it. a channel I watched explained that too with a remarkable collection of articles, studies and polls and surveys and all that stuff and not to mention just observing that behavior by living and experiencing the real world, which these snowflakes dont do, they live on the internet in their safe bubble echo chambers believing the opposite about human nature and then get triggered and shocked and outraged when it doesnt mirror their fantasy expectations

personally I like watching attractive and healthy women, I can identify better with a person of any race, gender, sexuality, creed, etc that takes care of their health and appearance, not an unhealthy smelly thing that makes me feel sick :\ the agenda to promote ugliness and force acceptance of it is truly sad and gross

that is a great point actually, it is why the activists first hijacked online fandoms when the internet began because it was the perfect platform to shove their politics down teens and apolitical people’s throats and peer pressure them by calling dissenters all the usual buzzwords if they didnt re-”interpret” characters to virtue signal and appease the oppression stack.

yeah that is true, that is the women’s jealousy showing itself (and in some cases their control-freak tendencies), tumblr showcases their hypocrisy too with the double standards of sexual objectification

omg ... I have found my soul mate !!! ;D

Yeah and that is racist and sexist, once again SJWs are the thing they claim to hate. Personality and who you are matters, not what you are. for the people that think their entire being revolves around their race, gender and sexuality - that is pretty pathetic, that means they havent discovered themselves outside a group. One is supposed to let go of the ‘group’ after highschool. I think because millennials were given social media while they were still in highschool is why they havent grown up, they use it as an emotional crutch. Naturally a dependent person is going to feel helpless and confused because they arent thinking and evolving outside their surface traits that they cling to and use as victim cards. identity politics is cancer.

yeah... -__- yeah they eat themselves, this is a move of virtue signaling to gain more minority followers, they really are bigoted to think minorities want to be used as their fucking pawns in their self serving agenda

truth. the best a girl can hope for is a best friend and a sister. rumors, gossip and backstabbing is huge problem among girls/women, it is the result of being emotionally driven, lol 

because feminist/sjws double standards and jealousy, and their dogma of “not please the male gaze” lol it is not up to them to tell people what to do and dress and be attracted to, but they do because they and their ideology is totalitarian

yup and they get their activists running rampant on damage control to ridicule people who point this out, who do they think they are fooling?? their strategy and co-ordinated efforts to brainwash the youth is fucking blatant at that point, we get students reporting the ideological bias bs they endure in the classrooms 

thats why i find the romantic comedies of the past 20 years unbearable lol

there is nothing wrong with liking characters that all fall into one demographic due to great writing. I like characters for their journey+personalities+quality, gender and race is just the wrapping paper they come in. Badly written characters are the types that only focus on their race, gender, sexuality and nothing else, which are boring tokens and unrelatable on personal level. that why im resentful to fanfic writers that change characters recognizable identity traits (race, gender, sexuality), they prove they cant create a character and have no respect for established characters, even though those traits are what i called the “wrapping paper” it is still their image and a part of them. people that change canon characters are the bigots for changing them in the first place and would be the first to screech if a minority character was changed to be a different demographic. hypocrisy is the SJW game.

exactly, they build it up first, gain the following and support and devotion and then flip the switch. Jim Jones did the same thing. He gained his following by enticing a church, and then after filling them up with joy and hope and hoax miracles to convince them he was legit he then threw the bible onto the floor and said “did lightening strike me down?” and then began pushing his own marxist twisted beliefs and because the followers had been duped to sell their homes to donate to the Jim Jones church and live with the rest of the followers, (note it is easier to create a cult when they are isolated and exposed to the dogma all the time, like modern days ppl are hooked up to social media 24/7) it made it harder for them to just walk away. This is what these zealots do, they lure you in and once they have you they make you feel obligated and dependent on it and then switch the dogma an further poison your mind to reality. it is sick but they use this trick so often it is not hard to spot it, and it is always by the same brand of ideologues using the same methods.

My social media circles are full of ppl that really like CMBYN (not to mention all The White Gays everywhere) that get rly incensed if someone mentions pedophilia so I feel awks expressing An Opinion on there and tbf I don't much about the book/movie but I do know the kid is like... barely an adult? And idk man, making an entire romantic story about a barely-adult's torrid love affair with a guy in his thirties is uhhh weird, js

y’know anon i feel great empathy for you because honestly when my (mostly straight) friends have brought up CMBYN and spoken positively about it, i haven’t actually said shit, mostly because this becomes a really hard movie to criticize in a concise fashion -- like the age difference is sketch, the fact that it was written by a straight man makes me automatically wary, the fact that it’s a relationship built on cheating is iffy, and honestly? that it ends with ‘and then he went and married a woman’ is the like the second most common Gay Tragedy ending to things after ‘one or both die,’ and I find it honestly irritating and eye-rollingly predictable, especially if they end there. I expected better from James Ivory, frankly, given that he wrote Maurice, one of my favorite queer movies of all time.

like i have no doubt that CMBYN is beautifully shot and probably well acted and written and I don’t even really have a problem with Characters Doing Problematic Things per se -- my problem is when those things are normalized and romanticized, and my concern with CMBYN is that that’s 100% what happened. It’s a tragic beautiful coming of age story about a seventeen year old child who falls in love with an older man who should know better than to get involved. it’d be sketchy if it were a 17 year old girl and a 24 year old guy, it’d be sketchy in any other combination of genders, and the fact that it’s not treated as such is troubling to me. 

Because we can go up and down on ‘oh but it’s consensual and elio is in love/lust and pursued the relationship in the first place and he’s of age in italy’ but that’s the kind of rhetoric that leads to young people getting manipulated and abused by older men and women -- they wanted it, they’re mature for their age, they pursued me -- like those aren’t rare justifications from abusers, y’know? and i see such similar phrasing used in so many think pieces about how it’s totes cool for CMBYN to have that relationship at it’s center, apparently without irony.

And like, look, most of us have had crushes on older people in our lives, and especially for people in the queer community, where there aren’t as many options for dating and you’re just so desperate for someone who understands you and accepts you for who you are, but that ends up putting you in a very vulnerable position when it comes to people who have any potential power over you (even if that power is literally just something like ‘they can leave at the end of the summer and you’re still stuck with your parents’), and that’s why the adults in that situation have a responsibility to shut that shit down when it happens. 

The queer community has a particular problem with this -- because there is this narrative/perception in the straight world that gay men especially are going around ~recruiting~ young boys to abuse, and i think we as a community tend to overcorrect and bend over backwards to deny that that ever happens, that any queer relationship would ever be abusive or predatory, which does us all a disservice and puts young people in genuine danger.

i’m not clutching my pearls at the fact that a 17 year old teenaged boy has sexual and romantic feelings for a very handsome 24 year old man who looks like Armie Hammer. Like, duh.  But that it’s requited and consummated -- especially given the fact that Armie Hammer’s in his 30s and looks it, and Timothée Chalamet look substantially younger than his 21 years (and even younger than the character’s 17, in the movie) -- gives me pause. Like maybe it’s because I’m too old -- I’m 29 atm and I look at Elio and I’m like, that’s a child, but I honestly see gifs of them together and it genuinely just looks off to me. 

And I think tbh the filmmakers and Hammer himself have done the movie no favors by pretending everyone who’s somewhat dubious about the relationship is just being homophobic -- like I’m sure I have as much internalized homophobia as literally anyone raised in a homophobic society might, but in this particular case I’m p sure that’s not my problem. But then again there definitely are homophobic people latching on to the same issue, because it feeds into their already well established narrative of The Predatory Gays, and I’m not like going to blame that precisely on the filmmakers, but also like...not helping, dudes, not helping.

i’m not ready to say this movie glorifies pedophilia because as much as I hate the ‘well pedophilia actually means’ parsing that these debates can devolve into, I genuinely feel like the intent of the film is to put Elio in a position of discovery and power in his identity and his sexuality (more than put Oliver in a position of pursuing and using a 17 year old boy for his own power or pleasure). But art doesn’t exist in a vacuum etc etc and i’m just personally not comfortable with the movie itself and, more importantly, with how it’s been perceived and put forth as this beautiful gay romance story that you can’t criticize without people accusing you of being homophobic or prudish. 

Pretty sure no one should be tolerating the beards when we know how nasty Eleanor was especially towards Harry and then the story of how Danielle basically forced herself on Louis in public came out (plus, if you stick to the narrative, she did cheat on him), and to me both those girls are ugly since they chose to help closet a person. So yeah there's really no reason to be tolerating either of them

ok but like. listen.

this is gonna be long because yall are exhausting me and miss the point every fucking time

i never liked eleanor bc she was annoying and said nasty things about fans and larries and her friends were terrible esp. max. we only heard these bad stories about what she allegedly said about harry AFTER they broke up too. so i didnt particularly like her and she had done her fair share of bad shit across the years but that doesnt mean ppl can say shit about her looks?? which no one did btw. people were far kinder to eleanor than they ever been to danielle.

the thing with danielle is for months and months and months she NEVER said a single word about louis and never posted about him on social media and NEVER interacted with fans (still hasnt). she was just there. but people still spent HOURS talking shit about how bad her shoes and clothes and facial expression were. which was just super unnecessary and nasty. you can not like someone for the job they are doing but attacking a young woman for how she looks is just really fucking low. so i always stood out against that, against the completely unnecessary criticisms. because you know these were not personal criticisms against her, these people wouldve said more or less the same shit about any woman because they dont like what she represents. so yeah, it really fucking annoyed me.

i also lost followers and mutuals for being done with people’s bullshit. people kept projecting so many intentions on her like, people were legit talking like she was forcing herself into louis’ family house bc she was so ‘desperate’. some posts even sounded as if she tricked louis into taking a pic so she could post it on her insta like??? calling her non-expressive resting face ‘smug’ on every pap pics??? like JFC shes not smug shes just!! existing!!! if everyone saw my resting face theyd all call me a bitch. and if she was smiling then she was desperate. so smug or desperate, what a luck. people were losing their fucking minds. i never gave a shit about her, i thought she was a pretty girl doing an annoying job and i wanted her gone as much as everyone else but thats it. except for being a beard (which btw we dont know the details of the contract between the two no matter how much ppl tried to blame her for everything thats bad in the world) she didnt do ANYTHING publicly that was annoying enough or on par with eleanor except existing. people mocked her over how she swung her bag for like, 2 weeks. 

the story of danielle allegedly forcing herself on louis happened LATE 2016, like november?? and only got discussed on tumblr like, a month ago, so you using this as an argument is weak. There was no reason to preemptively hate danielle because of this story back in january 2016 no matter how hard you try to convince yourself that your hate was justified. everyone was just being nasty and bitter and going crazy over babygate and losing sight of what their priorities are. that’s it.

even if people had “receipts” on her prior to that that would justify why they hate an unknown nonfamous 21 years girl so much, they never shared it with the fandom as a whole and therefore, the fandom as a whole did not have any reason to hate her this much. literally the only story i heard is that apparently she was rude to a waiter in a restaurant. omg!!! bring out the torches!! this totally justify you spending hours mocking her face!!!! unless youre telling me that “big larries hated her therefore we all hated her too” because thats just sad and another problem altogether. so yeah dont try to use that as a reason of why you said nasty shit about her appearance back in february 2016.

i dont even know why im saying this because…having reasons to hate her will never justify the amount of absolutely deranged comments ive read about the way she looks. it was and will always be totally uncalled for and i cant believe how far this fandom went, i cant believe the stuff adults have written about this thinking it was ok. if she is that much of a terrible person there has to be more shit you can say about her than your subjective opinion that her resting face looks “smug” and that shes desperate for being in the presence of louis. i also cant believe how much people mocked her for not being famous enough even though a recurrent role in tv show is more than most people can achieve and when yall know you wouldve hated her for being famous if she was. so, eleanor was bad because she was non-famous using louis’ money and not going to school, taylor is bad because shes too famous and using 1d and harry’s name for her own career and danielle had a recurrent role in a popular franchise and that still was not ok for yall. i get the point is that youre never gonna “like” any beard no matter what her job is because you hate beards but just ADMIT IT and find other things to talk about instead of making up reasons why shes a bad person.

so, honestly, this isn’t about danielle at all. i dont care about her feelings or whatever. my problems is that for months ive read thousands of comments criticizing this girl for doing ANYTHING. and the worst is that when i was telling people they should probably calm down and that attacking a girl for how she looks is not cool at all, i got hate and lost followers and had mutuals indirecting me. because apparently having human decency was too much for people to handle. because apparently people still dont get that criticizing a girl for how she looks and dress as bigger far-reaching consequences in the long run. for months ive had to see people spreading bullshit and lies about her just because of their assumptions. 

and this goes for briana too. that girl is awful and did a lot of fucked up shit and i totally support talking shit about her AS LONG AS ITS FOCUS ON THE BAD THINGS SHES DOING. ive also been disgusted at comments towards briana or ashley shaming her for how they look and i dont find it more acceptable just because i hate them too. theres a line and yall crossed it, like, 12 months ago.

im not saying you have to tolerating neither of them now because of you what found out, im just saying that what you DIDNT KNOW a year ago cannot be used to justify what you did back then. 

anyway this isnt about danielle this is about how i still can’t believe i lost hundreds of followers and dozens of mutuals because i argued that talking shit about how she looks was not valid criticism and was a harmful behaviour. 

and if you still don’t think that’s fucked up and still wanna defend that nasty behaviour from last year i can’t help you.

STORY TIME!

I've just been wanting to get this out because it's been stuck in my head for a while now and I don't think I can hold it in (+_+)

( Tw: abuse, self harm )

So anyways, back in around August/September 2018 I was added to this one group chat by a mutual friend and already felt out of place. I spoke to ONE person and that was about it. We bonded over questionable things for people who barely know each other things like casual flirting, kinks and what not. In the beginning it was all she wanted to talk about (we both are girls) and it would always end in me asking sorry for whatever reason and her acting up and just making me feel like shit in general.

She's around 2-3 years younger than me and she was 14 when we first spoke. Yeah I didn't know she was that young until much later. And we'd be talking random shit, we got pretty close but she never once showed me her face. Understandable tho, I wouldn't advise you to go sending pics of you to someone you've been talking to for just a month. We shared our stories, gossiped, bitched about ppl we hated and what not. But we tried to talk as much as possible despite the time zones.

She had this one friend. She's 14 ig? Prolly 15 now idek. So one day, my mutual told me she was hanging out with her best friend (Lee) and she kept sending me pics and videos of the girl. I just thought, hey friends doing weird shit together, nothing much. I replied that Lee was cute. A 14 year old child, I didn't think any other way. She just kept on sending me pics and videos and I told her to stop, it wasn't good. She did.

Lee texted me not even a few minutes later. She's like Hey, heard you been calling me cute sup. And I'm like yea you are a cute girl. She took the compliment tho, she said she wanted to get to know me better. And this is where I made a mistake. I thought probably we'd just get along and talk, the three of us. but she had other plans.

We talked a lot, she got to know I was Bi from my mutual, I told her I was, and asked her why. she just let it be. Then after we started talking for a while, my mutual (let's just call her Ri), To texts me she needed my help and that Lee liked someone. I was down to help. They kept me waiting and I eventually found out they were talking about me.

Lee liked me.

This is the first time someone, let alone another girl, has told me they liked me and I was just blank. She told me I made her Bi. And she really wants to be more than friends with me. I didn't know how to respond and I just told her I needed to think about it. She just replied okay, and Ri was worried about Lee, that I'd done something wrong to upset her or smth. I was already going through a tough time mentally due to issues in school and so I didn't want to deal with anything else.

First things first, she's a child. Say what you want but 14 year olds have much more important things to worry about than a virtual love life over fan accounts across seas. I know distance isnt an issue when you truly love someone but is 14 the age to decide?

I also had my Assignments during that time so I couldn't really go online but when I did get back, I had a lot to hear from Ri. She was MAD at me like FURIOUS mad.

I'm like dude, what do you want me to do. She's like idk just make her happy again and then I texted Lee, she asked me the same question and I replied I don't really think I'm ready for this right now. I didn't know what to say. She was a sweet girl and the things that ri told me Lee was doing to herself was just upsetting me too much.

Apparently she hadn't been eating, she had shit out people because I wasn't responding to their texts and she had been burning her fingers. Like lit matchsticks to her hands. I was overwhelmed. I didn't know what to do what to say ANYTHING.

So I just let her be and she thought I'd agreed on our "relationship" if there was ever one. Like she used to text me if she could call me papi because I called everyone bub. I was like go ahead I guess idek what that means. It went too far and she started sending me too many confession texts and it only made me feel guilty.

So I told ri I couldn't do it anymore and she blames me. I don't know if she's right or wrong and she never listened to what I had to say anyways so I told Lee I didn't want to do this because of a certain incident prior to this and I opened up to her about a story of how I was inappropriately stalked and touched by someone I trusted. So I told her I don't want anything to do with online relationships and so I'd appreciate if she understood and if we could go back to being friends. She just replied, "I know you like Ri. I'm sorry, I won't bother you anymore" and I was like WHAT.

she took a look at mine and ri's previous texts and she thought I liked her because all ri talked about was getting laid and her trying to dominate me. I told her a hundred times to change her behaviour, and not speak that way but, as I told, she could care less about what I had to say.

This shit took another turn when Ri came back online. She was like you ruined our friendship and whatever whatever and she wanted nothing to do with me. I was like as long as I can get out of this mess, I'll take anything I can.

We didn't speak much at all after that, and one day she'd posted a question poll and I thought I didn't want to lose a friend so I just chimed in and typed in 'tbh?' and she replied. Now I wish she hadn't.

Quoting her exact words, 'tbh when it was good it was good. But you turned out to be a lying piece of shit who goes around hurting people just because you couldn't hold your shit together.' and Idek. You guessed it.

that hit my weak spot, my self esteem went underground and beyond and I was a wreck, damn. Then I spoke to my irl friend, only about the last part didn't really feel like saying everything and all she told me was this- 'if you aren't on good terms with them now, there's a reason. Don't beat yourself up on what they think about you. I know you, and please open your eyes and see yourself. Don't let them tell you what you should feel about yourself.'

And I felt better. Although I cried during that break. It felt better to just let it all out.

Why am I telling all this shit now?

I guy I know is probably into me, according to my friends, and he just called me. And I remembered all of this when I heard his voice.

So yea just thought I'd share it with you.

One thing tho, if you want to care for someone, do so. In a pure way. She think I was probably a lusting horny 16 year old and now that we've blocked each other on every social media handle, I can't check on them even if I want to. Before you speak think twice of the consequences, take it however you want, you might be "leading on" a child or you may ruin someone's entire perspective of love, or crush their self esteem that they've been struggling with.

So yea, take care of yourselves, love yourself first, make yourself your first priority, relationships can come later. Thanks for listening to this shit here's a puppy

The Expendables: The Social Media Debate Surrounding the Missing D.C. Girls

By Brian Richards | News Stories | March 28, 2017 |

Back in 2009, I went to visit my cousins in the faraway land of Toronto, Ontario, Canada (home of Drake, Scott Pilgrim, and that show 1 Girl, 5 Gays that used to air on LOGO) in order to attend a wedding over the weekend. As I was talking to and hanging out with my youngest cousin, who I’ll just call K (and no, she’s not a member of the Men In Black), the topic of Chris Brown and Rihanna came up, which made sense considering that the incident in which Rihanna’s physical assault at the hands of Brown had recently happened. In short, K was a lot more forgiving of Chris Brown because of him being so good-looking, and able to sing well, and because he could dance. Which made me roll my eyes so hard that I had to ask K to fetch me a crowbar so I could pry them loose from my forehead. I responded that all of that didn’t matter because he attacked his girlfriend and expressed little to no remorse for it. I then asked her if she would be so forgiving of what Chris Brown had done if he was just a regular dude who worked as a teller down at ScotiaBank (for American readers who have never crossed the border and immediately went “Huh?!,” ScotiaBank is basically Canada’s version of Chase Bank) and wasn’t famous. And of course, K didn’t really have an answer to that and blew it off. (When I saw K again a couple of years later and the topic of Chris Brown came up, she pretty much indicated that she was no longer a fan or supporter of his. I don’t remember what else was said after that, but it probably had something to do with my surprise and amazement over the fact that milk in Canada is sold in bags. Or something.)

I say all of that because I’m once again reminded of how so many others, whether they’re part of the legal system or not, were and are willing to give a free pass to men who commit heinous acts just because they have a talent or skill that makes audiences go “Oooh!” and “Ahhh!” And also that the lives of women mean little to nothing to far too many of the men who reside on this planet. The most recent example of this being Brazilian football player Bruno Fernandes de Souza, who was offered a two-year contract to play for the Brazilian football organization Boa Esporte. Despite the fact that he was just released from jail on a technicality after only serving nearly four years of a twenty-two-year sentence for, along with his wife and several of his friends, murdering Eliza Samudio, his former girlfriend, and then dismembering her and feeding her remains to his pet Rottweilers in order to dispose of the evidence. His reason for doing this? Samudio had been demanding child support payments for their four-month-old son.

You would think that all of this would make a football organization, any football organization show disgust and anger toward de Souza and refuse to touch him with a 39 1/2-foot pole. But then again, we have our own football organization in this country that will welcome a player with open arms after he beats the living daylights out of his wife or girlfriend (unless it’s caught on camera and makes that organization look bad, and then they fire that player), and then turn around and refuse to piss on another player if he were on fire for having the audacity to speak out against police abuse and misconduct. So yeah, it didn’t take long for de Souza to be offered a two-year contract upon his release, despite numerous protestations from those who wondered how they’d feel if it were their daughters or their mothers who suffered the same fate as Samudio. Boa Esporte’s response to that, as is usually the response from men who don’t give anything resembling a shit about the overall well-being of women, regardless of who they are:

Fans and sponsors of the Brazilian second-division side quickly denounced the move but so far Boa Esporte isn’t backing down. In a lengthy post on its Facebook page, Boa Esporte’s president, Rone Moraes da Costa, says the team isn’t committing any crimes by signing the 32-year-old who formerly played for one of Brazil’s most famous clubs — Flamengo — and was tipped to line up for the national team at the 2014 World Cup on home soil. He could be back in action within a month and a half.

“Esporte Clube was not responsible for the release and freedom of the athlete Bruno,” da Costa said, adding that the club was “giving work to those who intend to recover.”

Bruno “deserves a new opportunity as a professional,” the team said in a separate post. “The club has no relation with Bruno’s personal actions, nor with his past, having hired only the professional.”

And on to much happier and life-affirming news…This past month, many people on Twitter pointed out the increasing number of disappearances involving young Black and Latinx girls in the Washington, D.C. area and how there seemed to be nothing being done about it, along with the fact that such a large number of disappearances and possible kidnappings were receiving little to no news media coverage. (For a list of names and photos of many of the young girls who have been missing, read here.) Especially compared to the news media coverage being given to the all-important, time-consuming case of Tom Brady’s jersey going missing and having to be tracked down and retrieved outside of the United States. Yes, you did read that correctly.

#NewProfilePic pic.twitter.com/XZX9jxour6

— Questlove Gomez (@questlove) March 25, 2017

lol y'all still trying to find a white woman from 19 years ago but no postings about the 30+ young girls missing in DC AMERICA IS A JOKE https://t.co/kLQ8VXW2F2

— shia laCunt (@fuzzycuntkins) March 24, 2017

it's not always as blatant as someone getting snatched & thrown in a van. They're luring ppl in. Talk to your siblings. pic.twitter.com/5qrrMhAANs

— #PineappleExpress (@tbrownmedia) March 24, 2017

💔One child missing is too many. Whether it's a stolen child or one running away from unsafe homes, they deserve help.#BRINGBACKOURGIRLSDC pic.twitter.com/IeW0xQpqzx

— Simone Missick (@SimoneMissick) March 24, 2017

The thought of so many young Black and Latinx girls going missing and possibly being led to unspeakable fates resulted in many a heated debate and conversation on Twitter…

There were those who found it downright hypocritical for Black and Latinx people to spend so many months criticizing police officers for their abuse and misconduct towards them, and then expect them to go out and find their kids. (Yes, it was from a real tweet and unless it was actually a troll/White supremacist using the Twitter avi of a Black person to conceal their identity, yes..it was a Black woman who actually said that.)

There were those who called that person out on her bullshit, and pretty much reminded her that 1) you pretty much have to be a fucking idiot to find something wrong in police officers having to be told to stop abusing and murdering Black people and 2) finding children and adults who have gone missing and are possibly being held in captivity is part of what police officers are paid and trained and expected to do.

There were those who saw this as another reason to call out White feminists on their supposed bullshit, considering that many of them just came from participating in the Women’s March on Washington and coming together in solidarity to stand up and speak out against those who do and would treat them as if they aren’t deserving of anything resembling respect. To let everyone know that their lives and their voices matter.

And yet…

If you went to the #womensmarch, are you planning a return trip to draw attention to the missing Black & Latinx girls or nah? pic.twitter.com/xjNce6x1JE

— Nyasha Junior (@NyashaJunior) March 24, 2017

Photos from the D.C. town hall meeting about DC's missing girls this morning. A room full of African-Americans but #AllLivesMatter right? pic.twitter.com/OjHWGQTyTd

— DC Maryland Virginia (@DMVFollowers) March 23, 2017

White feminism shook DC's foundations wearing pink hats. But they sure are quiet as Black women disappear from the same city.

— Benjamin YoungSavage (@benjancewicz) March 24, 2017

White people feel nothing but a sense of relief when Black people disappear, so long as it doesn't affect them financially.

— Benjamin YoungSavage (@benjancewicz) March 24, 2017

If white feminists raised a fuss on Black women disappearing in Washington DC… I don't even know what would happen. It's never happened.

— Benjamin YoungSavage (@benjancewicz) March 24, 2017

Meanwhile, Black women have have been the strongest supporters ALL women's rights. They've fought tooth and nail, whip and lash for it.

— Benjamin YoungSavage (@benjancewicz) March 24, 2017

Black women won't leave ANYONE behind. When they rise, they drag everything up with them. And yet get left behind like no one else.

— Benjamin YoungSavage (@benjancewicz) March 24, 2017

And then there was this statement from the police in Washington, D.C. stating that many of the girls who have disappeared haven’t done so because of kidnapping and sex trafficking, they’ve disappeared because they’re runaways. Don’t bother asking how or why that’s supposed to be even more comforting or how this doesn’t come off at all like victim-blaming, but there it is.

The Washington D.C. girls who have gone missing are not crime victims … they’ve just fled their homes, according to Washington D.C. officials.

There’s been a call for an investigation into the disappearances, but a police spokesperson says the numbers are not alarming … they’re in line with missing persons stats.

There are currently 38 open cases of missing persons in D.C. We did some checking … 12 disappeared in the last 5 months. Nine of the girls are 18 or under. Ten are black and 2 Hispanic.

A police spokesperson says they believe all are runaways based on the circumstances of their disappearance, however, they say they cannot be certain.

The police and Mayor’s office tell TMZ, they handle thousands of missing persons cases every year, and virtually everyone is located.

We spoke with police Chief Peter Newsham who says with almost every case, those missing have a history of leaving home. He says the number missing is similar to years before, it’s just been brought to the light with the use of social media and other platforms to help locate missing people. Newsham says his department’s goal is to get to the root of the problem to determine just what causes these kids to leave their homes.

There is so much more that needs to be said and discussed when it comes to this, but it’s obviously not about to be done in just this one post alone. Whether the attention that social media has brought to these young girls from Washington D.C. who keep disappearing will result in something being done to stop this and find out who or what is responsible are questions that have yet to be answered. All we can do is continue to hope and demand that young girls and women are given fewer reasons to worry about their overall well-being (especially in the D.C. area), all because everyone else around them sees how much they are continuously made to suffer and their only response continues to be:

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