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sleepyfan-blog · 14 days

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Questions

Author’s Note: This is the next fic in Cedric’s Adventures. First. Previous.

Tagged: @egrets-not-regrets @kit-williams @bleedingichorhearts @the-pure-angel @gallifreyianrosearkytiorsusan

Warnings: angst, 30k typical anti-religious sentiment, beating as punishment, unreliable narrator, ask me to tag if something bothers you!

Summary: Cedric asks captain Ash’val when morning prayers are.

"Captain Ash'val... I... I've got some questions, if you have the time, sir." Cedric asked, having managed to pluck up the courage to go to the usually warm and kind Salamander Scout Captain. While there were many things he deeply missed about the time period he had been sent to, most of those things - and people - were wholly outside of his grasp. But there were a small handful of things that Cedric was hopeful that he could have in this time period, that he'd had in the time that he had come from. He was very deliberately not fidgeting with his hands, standing at attention as he waited for the older marine to acknowledge his presence in the other's office.

The Salamander hummed, looking up from the machine that Cedric had been taught functioned similarly to a data-slate and gestured to one of the chairs on Cedric's side of the desk. "I've got time to talk with you, Cedric. Please, sit down. There's no need to be so formal, young one."

"If you say so, sir." Cedric responded, unable to keep direct eye contact with one of his superior officers, having been taught by both the Mechanicum and the Black Templars that doing so was both rude and a sign of defiance or challenge. He obediently sat in the chair Ash'val indicated that he sit in. He took in a deep breath, willing the anxiety welling in his hearts to not still his tongue as he asked "Where are the morning devotionals being held, sir? Or are they being held at a different time of the day, sir?”

".... The what?" The older marine asked, a frown appearing on his face.

"Morning prayers? Part of the morning meditation exercises that every marine is supposed to take in? Or at least, the beginning of shift prayers and meditation that each marine is supposed to complete when not in immediate life threatening danger, should he be overheard, sir?" Cedric clarified, genuinely confused by the other's reaction, and doing his best to explain himself. Not every marine had the same work schedule, after all.

"... Prayers to whom?" Ash'val asked, the frown on his face deepening, his voice shifting strangely.

"The... The God-Emperor of Mankind? The being on who's divine mandate we were all created to serve and protect humanity on?" Cedric answered, deeply confused by the other's question. Who else would Loyal Marines be worshiping? The Living Saints were more for mortals, though he supposed that some marines probably would send prayers to the nine holy Primarchs during their devotionals as well, depending on what they were doing for that day.

"You... You believe that the Emperor of Mankind is a god?" Ash'val inquired, his face having frozen in a carefully neutral expression, though there was tension in his voice that confused Cedric tremendously.

"Yes sir. I was first taught by the Mechanicum to worship him in his aspect as the Omnisiah, but that was corrected by my Black Templar older brothers, after I was sent to them, sir. He is the Lord Commander of the imperium, the shining golden light in the darkness, sir. Without His protection we - and the rest of humanity - would be lost. Killed or enslaved by Xenos and Chaos." Cedric answered earnestly, repeating what he's been told over and over again in his home time.

"... I see. This base does not have a morning devotional, nor would you find such things at four of the other bases in this city. The fifth is run by... Hmm. The fifth is a primarily Chaos base and their worship is of gods opposed to yours. I can tell that you genuinely believe in what you say, but I would suggest not speaking of the... The Emperor as a god in this base much. Most of us who live in this base are from a time before and during the Horus Heresy, and shortly after... And-" Ash'val paused, looking Cedric over carefully.

The young apothecary couldn't look at Ash'val directly. He could hear the recrimination and judgment in the older marine's voice. Guilt and confusion hit him harder than Tau ordinance and it took all of his self-control to resist the temptation to slowly ooze out of the chair and onto the floor. Cedric was keenly aware of how uncomfortable he'd made the Salamander, which hadn't been his intention at all. He... He'd just missed going to morning prayers with his Templar brothers. The sense of community, camaraderie and togetherness that the morning hymns and group meditation at the beginning of his shifts aboard the Sigismund, and in the mornings on whichever Monastery he ended up on occasionally had been wonderful. He'd hoped to participate in that again on ancient Terra. "I... I wouldn't want to make anyone uncomfortable, sir... and I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable, sir. I... I'll leave now." He got up to his feet and retreated from the room as fast as he could, the hurt and confusion making his hearts ache and his eyes sting with tears that he refused to let fall. He was keenly aware of the fact that he was likely to face more punishment for the questions that had clearly made the well-liked and well-respected Scout Captain uncomfortable, and he heard the other call his name, but Cedric desperately needed out of that room.

Cedric threw himself into the chores that he'd been assigned to do that morning, frantically scrubbing the floors of the main entrance hall, watering the plants growing in the internal open spaces of the base and completing the handful of minor repair requests that had come in during the night. The fact that he did that while hyper-aware of his surroundings and avoiding every older brother he possibly could - especially Ash'val, who's steps and hearts'-beats he could hear coming from far enough away with his enhanced hearing to (hide from) avoid in order to not upset further - was just a bonus of his primaris physique. He would report to one of the chaplains to pay for his sins later. For now he needed to calm down.

There was only so long that Cedric could evade all of the older brothers and cousins who lived in this base - especially as he couldn't bring himself to disobey the order to stay on base. There was also the terrible misfortune he suffered of being larger than most first-born marines, and there were only so many places he could be without an older marine finding him at some point. Cedric had also not been created and trained for stealth missions either. He had managed to evade them for several days with his concerted efforts, though he was careful to complete each and every one of the punishment chores he had been assigned to, not wanting to make things even worse for himself.

So the young Primaris marine wasn't terribly surprised when one of the chaplains who lived on base - a stern-faced Imperial Fist with steely blue eyes and greying hair - entered the room that Cedric was currently in. The young black templar was kneeling on the ground, scrubbing furiously at a stain on the stone floor with the scrubbing sponge that he'd grabbed after fleeing from captain Ash'val and beginning his punishment-chores for the day. He was acutely aware of the older marine as the other made his way across the anxiety-cleaned and meticulously cleaned floor. He'd stopped running when he'd known that Chaplain Feldarim was searching for him. While his older brothers likely thought otherwise, he wasn't stupid. He knew that running from a chaplain was a bad idea - and running from the highest ranking chaplain in the base was catastrophically worse. His breathing hitched a little, though he desperately tried to keep himself from visibly tensing or flinching at the older marine's approach. He continued to scrub on his knees, struggling to keep his breathing even and normal, hoping that the other wouldn't notice the way his fingers trembled around the sponge in his hand.

Chaplain Feldarim walked carefully across the room, coming to stand in front of Cedric, his ceramite boots within the younger marine's line of sight as Cedric continued to scrub and clean.

Every time Cedric finished a one foot segment of floor and shifted over to the next tile, Chaplain Feldarim would side-step to keep within the young apothecary's line of sight.

Cedric continued to scrub until each tile in this room was not only clean, but shined and polished to a mirror finish. His fingers ached faintly from the amount of strength he had used, and the hours it had taken to get this room's floor properly clean. He placed the sponge back in the bucket he'd periodically been dipping it into, to get more cleaning solution, letting it go. He sat back on his knees, placing his hands down on the floor in front of his knees, head still bowed. There was no way he was going to break the silence by speaking first and waited patiently, penitently.

Eventually chaplain Feldarim sighed. It was a heavy thing, filled with wordless condemnation.

Cedric fought the urge to curl in on himself, to hunch his shoulders to his ears. To cringe away from whatever just punishment he was about to receive from the chaplain, bracing for pain. Physical, emotional, or likely both. He did, to his eternal shame, close his eyes tightly and turn his head to one side, flinching a little as Feldarim began to speak.

"I've heard that you have some questions, lad. You brought them to Ash'val and then ran off. Considering what he told me those questions were, you'd have been better served going to one of the Chaplains, as you had questions about faith." Feldarim chided Cedric. His voice was surprisingly gentle, but Cedric suspected that the other was just getting started.

Cedric said nothing in response, unsure if he was allowed to, or if this was going to be a one-sided lecture. He erred on the side of caution and stayed silent on his knees, gaze firmly on the other's boots.

The Imperial Fist Chaplain sighed again, and an armored hand briefly entered Cedric's line of sight, the gauntlet the gold and black of the older Marine's chapter.

To Cedric's eternal shame, he flinched backward when one of Feldarim's armored hands touched his face and chin. Shame burned his cheeks and he forced himself to still, waiting for the expected for his outward show of hesitation and fear to follow.

The silence stretched, heavy and expectant uncomfortably before the Chaplain spoke again "... Were you expecting me to hurt you, Cedric?"

Fuck. He was clearly expected to answer. He swallowed around the lump in the back of his throat that threatened to choke him "I... I apologize for flinching, chaplain. I will do my best not to do so again." Because what else was he supposed to say? Of course the other was going to hurt him. Pain was a common enough punishment inflicted upon misbehaving aspirants and battle brothers alike. Among Black Templars, Chaplains were most often in charge of the administration and execution of punishments. Cedric found himself intensely grateful that none of his squad had come with him. As an Apothecary, depending on what he had done wrong and the situation he and his squad were in, he did not always receive the physical punishments he had earned. Instead one or more of his squad brothers would be punished in his stead, and he would be the one to patch them up, while apologizing to them for being the reason why they were bloodied and healing.

"That is an answer, but not to the question I asked of you, Cedric." Feldarim pointed out, irritation seeping into his voice. One of the older marine's armored hands was still holding onto his chin and he was desperately trying to keep his breathing even and steady.

He was trying to shove the shameful and un-Astartes-like emotions that were threatening to have him cry in front of a Chaplain about to administer punishment. It would only make what was about to come more agonizing. "It.. Is only be in service of making me a better marine, sir." He forced himself to say, hating the way that his treacherous body was starting to shake from the intensity of the fear and nervous anticipation running through him. As he had been taught before, during and after such punishments.

"I want you to look at me, Cedric. Look me in the eyes, as I tell you something. So you know that I mean what I say." Chaplain Feldarim ordered, the grip on his chin tightening a little. Enough to be noticeable, but not painful.

Not yet.

Cedric let out a shaky breath as he complied, forcing himself to look up into the older marine's face. His eyes darted up to look into the Chaplain's before they slid down to the other's nose - a little crooked, looking as though it'd gotten broken and healed slightly off of center at some point. Probably multiple times, given the bloody and dangerous work of a Space Marine. No matter how he tried, he couldn't keep his gaze focused on the older marine's eyes, though he desperately tried to obey the other's orders.

"I. Am not. Going to beat you. None of the Chaplains in this base are going to beat you. None of the chaplains on any of the bases on Ancient Terra should ever raise a hand to you like that in punishment, no matter if they're Loyalist, Chaos or Renegade. You should never have been beaten, much less beaten as often and harshly as to make you flinch automatically at the touch of an allied chaplain. Has anyone on Ancient Terra beaten you and called it a punishment?" Feldarim asked, his voice shaking with rage and concern.

His words made no sense, but his fury was at least familiar. While Cedric did his best to behave himself, he'd been on the wrong side of a chaplains' wrath more than a couple of times. Some of the first-born older brothers really resented the fact that Cedric and his younger brothers existed. Sure, they had been gifted to the Black Templars by The Imperial Regent to strengthen their fleet... But some of the older brothers were incredibly strict and harsh on them, finding fault in everything they did, and culling brothers who did not conform quickly enough. "No sir." He answered earnestly. No one had lifted a hand to him in punishment on Ancient Terra.

Some of the rage and worry left the chaplain, and he sighed again, eyes softening a little "There's that, at least. And stand up, lad. You've been on your knees for hours. Your knees are going to be complaining at you for a while for being on them for so long. Up you get, there's a good lad." The hand on his chin shifted down to one of Cedric's elbows as the older Marine helped him up to his feet.

Cedric silently stood up, reeling from both the bit of underserved praise he'd gotten, and the fact that the older marine believed that he shouldn't be beaten as part of his punishments. If that held true for Imperial Fists, how then did they keep discipline? Was that why he had been restricted to base and given chores to complete? Was... Was that the extent of his punishment for being "rude" to two allied chaos space marines?

Ancient Terra continued to confuse him on a soul-deep level.

"Follow me, lad. While you've been quite dutiful in doing your chores, I know that you haven't eaten anything since your conversation with captain Ash'val. Missing meals isn't good for anyone, and I'm going to make sure you eat, lad." Chaplain Feldarim ordered, still holding Cedric by the elbow as he guided the primaris marine to the cafeteria, voice gently chiding.

"Yes sir..." Cedric mumbled, ducking his head a little, feeling intensely foolish for how he'd reacted, as he obediently followed after the first born marine.

#salamander #black templar #oc: cedric #oc: Ash'val #oc: Feldarim #Imperial Fist #space marine husbandry #space marine husbandry sentience #warhammer 40k #my writing #cw: beating as punishment #cw: unreliable narrator #because cedric is Scared #warhammer 30k

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reliabledragon · 2 months

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Hi! I’m genuinely curious, why is Seattle a bad place to live? I’ve thought about moving there at one point, until I realized I wouldn’t be able to afford it.

Ah, well, I should probably clarify that I don't think it's, like, an inherently bad place or anything. It was just a really bad fit for me, so being stuck there for several years really sucked. Basically, it boiled down to a few things:

Making Friends: Seattle is so notoriously unfriendly that the "Seattle Freeze" even has its own Wikipedia page. People will be plenty nice to you, but most have no interest in actually becoming friends, and it takes ages to build a social network there.

Lack of Diversity: In this case meaning the cultural sense, not the racial one. (It is racially homogenous as well, but I'm not really qualified to open that can of worms.) Seattle basically does like, three things: extreme outdoor activities, substances, and computer stuff. ("Substances" here meaning things like weed, but also beer, coffee, etc.) So if you want to go skiing every day, climb mountains, smoke weed, drink artisanal beer, play video games, or found a startup, it's a good place for that. However, if you want to do anything else then you are going to be fighting against Seattle every inch of the way.

The Dating Scene: Again, Seattle does some things very well here — it's probably the best dating market in the country if you're poly! But again, the monoculture means that if you're Seattle's kind of person then you're going to have the time of your life, but if you aren't, then you will simply be screwed. And I wasn't, so I spent three years basically unable to find anyone to seriously date. (I will grant that part of this could have been a me problem, but I certainly had far less difficulty both in SF before and NYC after.)

Urban Design: Maybe this is a personal one, but Seattle is in this really awkward middle ground, where it absolutely sucks to have a car in the city, but it also absolutely sucks not to have one. It's my least favorite city in the US that I've ever driven in, but it's also a pretty rotten experience trying to get around town on the bus or (very limited) light rail system. I'd much rather live somewhere with functional public transit, but if that's not possible then I'd at least like my mandatory car usage not to feel like I'm turning the ignition key in a Saw trap.

Distance: Unless your friends and family are in the PNW, you're probably going to want to leave occasionally to see other people, and Seattle is really very far away from everything other than Portland and Vancouver. Perhaps this isn't the biggest issue on this list, but combined with the Seattle Freeze, it can make the city intensely lonely. And combined with the weather, it makes it even harder to get away when the sky starts feeling oppressive in the winter. And speaking of winter...

Climate: This is a big one, and one that I think you can't really understand until you live there. Or at least, I certainly didn't grasp the implications beforehand. Everyone knows Seattle as a "rainy city", but it's one thing to hear about it and another to live it. The thing about Seattle is that it's both accurate to say that it always rains, or to say that it never rains. It's not like most of the country, where you have rainstorms and then times when it isn't raining. No, not in Seattle. In Seattle is drizzles, constantly. From September until June, every time you step outside, it's just... Damp. And cloudy. Once the clouds come in the Fall, you will not see the sun for nine months. The sky is just a bright gray mass hovering oppressively overhead, not dim enough be properly melancholy, not bright enough to be cheerful. It just looms, vaguely too bright to look at, no matter which direction you look. For most of your life in Seattle, you live in hollow light and hollow rain.

Despite all that, I really do think Seattle is a great fit for a lot of people, but it's hard to know if you're one of those people before you move there, and the penalty if you're wrong can be a pretty terrible living experience. My response on that poll was playing along with the "city hate group" thing they were asking about a little bit, but I really did have a very bad time there. It might well be a great fit for you, I know it is for a lot of my friends who live there! I would just advise anyone thinking of moving there to make sure they understand what they're signing up for, because it's easy to get taken in by the aesthetic and not realize what sort of place it is, and what sort of person you need to be to enjoy it.

Thanks for the ask! I'm always happy to talk about cities. :)

#my posts

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madcontainer · 1 year

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Vajra and Asura

I am here to discuss the character who we never hear from or see the face of, and his relationship with Asura.

Vajra was Asura’s weapon partner, and appears only in posthumous context - or so it is generally assumed. It is never stated explicitly whether Vajra is alive or dead, and if I make the final judgement call I lock myself out of the interesting possibilities presented by both options.

He is depicted only as the pronged ritual weapon he is named after, featuring stylized filigree on what would have been his grip.

Lord Death states that Asura was always terrified, and eventually in his terror turned on his partner and swallowed him whole in weapon form, gaining the ability to consume souls in the process.

This is the extent of our information on Vajra.

Death the Kid, Asura’s other closest living relation besides Lord Death himself, is a meister with two weapon partners. He is depicted as neurotic to an exaggerated degree. His relationship with the Thompson sisters balances him out, because their carefree attitude keeps him from getting too caught up in his own spirals. Likewise, his meticulous attitude helps balance out the girls’ more chaotic sides.

A meister-weapon relationship is a two-way street - like every relationship. The above is just one example of a pair or trio bringing out the best in each other. When a pair is ill-suited for each other, they suffer the physical ramifications - such as Black★Star being unable to lift Soul, Maka’s hands being burnt by Soul’s handle when their relationship was under strain, and most people’s complete inability to tolerate Excalibur.

I have a hard time believing that Asura, described as paranoid and untrusting, and his weapon partner, who he would have had to have a functional relationship with at minimum to actually wield him, wouldn't have worked well together.

This translation is yet again, clearly faulty, apologies. Chapter 6 is listed as the source for Asura secretly feeding Vajra souls not on Lord Death’s list.

Initially, I misunderstood ‘secretly’ to mean Asura was deceiving Vajra about the source of the souls, but this clarifies it: they both went behind Lord Death’s back.

It is interesting to me that Lord Death judges Asura for betraying Vajra, but never implicates him in what Asura was doing. I suppose they're taking the whole "don't speak ill of the dead" thing very seriously.

Chapter 6 was adapted as episode 9 of the anime. The dialogue during Spirit and Maka’s conversation on the balcony differs from the manga, and he says the following about why weapons are not permitted to eat human souls:

Spirit also says:

It is a little more vague than the conversation in the manga, but it gets the same point across.

In episode 19, Lord Death provides the following dialogue about Asura and Vajra:

Yet again, the brunt of the blame is placed by the speakers on the meister, not the weapon. This is not to say that they believe Vajra to have been blameless, however. It is simply interesting that Vajra is never once mentioned as having played an active role in any of the proceedings before Asura became a Kishin.

Lord Death says the following in episode 48:

“...but you have betrayed not only innocent people, but even your own partner.” Once again, it is evident that the translation is slightly off. I have no other source, and apologize for this.

It is very possible that devouring Vajra was an act of betrayal. This is a poignant reflection of Asura's downfall - killing his partner, the only close relationship he would’ve had. This cycle repeats itself later on with Lady Arachne’s death at his hands.

Another possible angle that it was a willing sacrifice. Asura could not consume souls before consuming Vajra, and being unable to gain the strength associated with such a potent source was clearly unacceptable. Maybe it was meant as a boon granted by the weapon he had been working so closely with, who had already tasted innocent blood for his meister. The only person we have to recount the information surrounding Vajra and Asura's partnership is Lord Death, and he is not an unbiased source.

Ultimately we will never know, but the information we do have tells us that Vajra was the only one who was close to Asura, that their partnership made them the strongest among deaths eight legions, that Asura was driven further and further into madness on his quest to obtain power and eliminate fear. Crucially, his weapon never stopped him, and we don’t even hear about whether or not he objected to Asura’s actions.

Personally, I believe it to be significantly more compelling if they were partners in crime. A weapon is not just a mindless tool, helpless to the whims of their meister. Why wouldn’t they have been on the same wavelength?

#kishin asura #does Vajra even have a tag #to be tagged #They were a little bit gay about it

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toxinsupa · 1 year

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001 RE. Revenge

Viper is essentially a synonym to revenge within the Valorant universe. I believe firmly within the lore, if you looked up revenge in the dictionary within that universe, her face would be it. But there are a few specific things I want to clarify about why Viper is out for revenge in my portrayal. I am going to do my best to address it in this order, her past life, her motives currently, how it has affected her relationships & what relationships those are & the impact it has on her future.

The past: Where does revenge stem from? The urge to inflict pain and suffering on someone who has caused it to you. And this is what fuels Viper. It is very evident from this animation that no matter what viper does her entire life is fueled by revenge for those who caused the accident.

As it stands now canonically there is no lore that tells us what happened and caused this incident to push Sabine into seeking what we do know however is she is close with Omen and no longer trusts or seeks help from Sage most likely due to this event so, here is what will be considered the event on this blog.

Omen and Viper in some capacity were good friends. While it is unclear if they were partners where she worked it is clear they are close. The way kingdom worked and functioned was partial experimentation and testing how radianite reacts with people to make radiates. This resulted in an accident w/ Omen which Viper blames herself for. Following the accident, Sage was unable to heal and help Omen leading to Viper growing angry and not thinking Sage could truly help someone. Viper eventually stuck with Brim but left Kingdom and was consumed by wanting to get revenge on anyone and everyone involved in the project and pushing for the experiments. On top of this she saw the effects of what it did to Reyna’s sister as she was consistently exposed to it because of Reyna and the team not knowing the effects of it which resulted in Lucia needing life force which Viper properly can take from the souls Reyna collects to keep her sister alive while also accomplishing her own test for vengeance.

On top of this, the accident with omen killed a large number of people and caused a lot of anger and rage because that was her family and they completely threw her under the bus for it. Because of this, Omen is the only one who can call her Sabine, who can speak to her the way he does without her lashing out because he understands her, he knows her and why she is doing what she is doing.

Which leads to the next question: what are her current motives? Aside from revenge in different animations with the alpha Earth Viper, we see her interact and do more than just simply seek revenge. She genuinely wants to stop Omega Earth from not only destroying more cities and places but from stealing radianite and hurting more people. Currently, her objectives are the mission she promised to help Brimstone with, whom she feels she owes a great deal to and to seek out her revenge through her assets with Valorant protocol. Specifically, through Cypher and Fade’s help and knowledge networks. Viper is not in this fully to help people and in a big way working for Valorant is a means to an end for her. So much so that she lost her position to Sage because of her constant aggression and rage in the field. While this doesn’t particularly bother her, it is an annoyance because she has lost access to some things she was originally using to seek out the ones she needed to. On top of all of this, one of the biggest motivators is her manipulation and use of Reyna. While Reyna is doing the collection of souls for her sister and is genuinely trying to improve things for her Viper is not only helping keep Lucia alive but using Reyna to help with her dirty work. She knows the Empress is an unstoppable source, having heard of her almost beating Omega Viper and seeing her in combat herself. Reyna, as a friend, is a benfit and as a weapon even more so. She will get what she wants and will also in turn be able to still slightly remain human by keeping a small piece of herself in touch with her roots of helping use her chemistry abilities to keep someone alive.

How has her desire for revenge impacted her relationships, more importantly, her relationships with Omen, Brimstone and Sage? Omen is someone whom we see on multiple different occasions be genuine with her. In fact, Viper is one of the only agents if not the only agent who knows Omen’s real name and does sometimes slip and nearly use it. He is one of the only people left who reminds her of her humanity and to keep it in tact simply because he has lost his. Viper sees most of herself in Omen and often sees him more so as a mirror than anything else. They were incredibly close prior to his accident and while she has become a toxic, hate filled person she remains soft with him purely because he knows her at her core. That does not change no matter what and because they are so similar.

Brimstone is someone else who tends to get a softer side again with her. Simply because they have worked together for so long but, Viper while not as old as Brimstone feels very specifically about the fact 90% of the team is in their early 20s and she is in her early 30s. They often spend time joking with one another but Viper is very strict about how focused and how the mission needs to go. They butt heads and tend to be on opposite ends with how to do missions Viper leaning more towards aggression and Brim wanting to use actual strategies. She has a certain level of distaste for him at times because she disagrees with how he runs things at times but, overall knows she can trust his judgement. That being said, she tends to not listen to him especially after the swap of her for Sage and does not let him tell her how to do her job.

When it comes to Sage it is so incredibly complicated. Sage is one of Viper’s oldest most loyal friends. Prior to the accident Sage and Viper were probably the best of friends, after Omen of course. That being said whatever happened in the accident and whatever Sage could not do during that time led to a deep resentment and the sole thing that spared her was the face Viper had respect for their former friendship. After the fact Sage failed being able to help Omen and fully heal him properly, she grew to hate her, not only that but as she came to Valorant and upon recruiting Fade she began to question the actual nature of her friend. The audacity of acting high and mighty compared to Viper in field, at least from Viper’s perspective was absolutely rotten, Sage doesn’t know where powers to bring and give life come from and logically is probably killing or taking it from others but acts better than those seeking vengeance and justice. While it may not be true, Viper does not like it. She doesn’t like the idea of Sage even helping her with minor things and will often avoid her because of it. In the eyes of Sabine, Sage will never ever be able to redeem herself.

Upon Fade joining Valorant a lot of things changed mostly in the fact Viper was forced to look at her life after she got what she achieved. According to the dossiers that were sent it was incredibly concerning what would become of her after her vengeance was achieved and Viper herself has no idea what is going to happen to her. She has not thought that far ahead but she does know once she has achieved it, and once Valorant is no longer needed she is done. Retirement is something that sounds incredibly wonderful. Outside of that perhaps looking to mend relationships or better understand her own issues. As it stands she is not close with many agents from Valorant, a soft spot for Neon, her closeness with Omen and at times she decides Cypher is good company but outside of that it is not much she really loves. Chamber is too reflective of herself and at the end of the day she finds him rather frustrating to work with because of his chatter although admittedly he can get work done really well.

Vengeance and revenge are really who Viper is at this stage in her life and they have completely consumed her to the point of tarnishing relationships and causing her to not have the status she should at work. It even goes as far as to be what she thinks about in her down time which is incredibly unhealthy but as a way to cope with her emotions per her whole life she puts them to the side for the most part and bottles them up. The way Kingdom worked and the accident finally caused her emotions to boil and explode in hate and rage completely. It is simply, who she is and for now who she will always be.

#─── ☣️ ɪ ᴀᴍ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴍᴏɴꜱᴛᴇʀ ʏᴏᴜ ᴍᴀᴅᴇ ᴍᴇ ᴛʜɪꜱ ᴡᴀʏ | headcanons

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lovereconthings · 1 year

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Overcoming Negativity in Your Relationship

Are you or your partner prone to focus on the negative in the world, yourself, or other people? We all think negative thoughts from time to time, but chronic negativity can affect how you live, how you function, and how you love. It can also be detrimental to your mental health and wellness. Negativity can work its way into your relationships which can be irritating, frustrating, and destructive. If you are the negative-minded one, you can slowly degrade your partner's quality of life which is selfish and even mean. What Negativity Looks Like Negativity can be subtle. How do you know if you or your partner are guilty of negative thinking and energy?

- Hypersensitivity to suggestions or small slights from your partner - Expecting the worst in everyday life and possibly in the relationship - Being argumentative over minor issues - Reluctant to give compliments or praise - Persistent moodiness with partner and family - Being hyper-critical of self and others, especially your partner - Not considering partner's ideas and saying "no" before considering anything new - Endlessly analyzing and overthinking everything - Inability to find enjoyment in ordinary things - Believing that others don’t like you - Struggle to see yourself in a good or positive light. - Pointing the finger of blame at your partner or others for any and everything. - No resilience in recovering from rejection, disappointment, or bad news Overcoming the Negativity Bias We all possess what has been labeled as a “negativity bias.” Basically, anything bad or negative outweighs anything good or positive. We focus and dwell on the one thing that did not go well rather than the five things that did go well. It's too common for this negativity to consume our relationships and distort our thinking. Chronic negativity may be deeply rooted and traced to your childhood, so how can you overcome this natural bias and your conditioning and turn it around? Try the following and see if you don't notice a marked difference in your attitude and outlook. - Think before you speak. Most of our responses are automatic because we don't pause and think before opening our mouths. So, keep your mouth shut! There is power in a pause, and you may realize that you don't need to say anything! - Examine your mind and heart. What is your motive or reason for your response? Is what you are going to say true? Is it helpful or loving? Does it clarify things? Is it just your perspective, i.e., "your truth?" In the case of an idea proposed by your partner, can you “love it for five minutes?” before you evaluate or criticize it? - Don’t focus on being “less negative.” Whatever you focus on, you move toward. Focusing on your need to be less negative will pull you back into negativity. Instead, focus on understanding your partner's perspective and giving them compliments or praise. It may feel awkward at first but keep at it. You may create a whole new positive dynamic for your partner and yourself. - Express gratitude. This is a positive way to say, “Stop complaining!” We all need to vent occasionally, but no one needs to hear all of our negative thoughts. Begin each day with three positive, grateful thoughts before your feet hit the floor. Express gratitude for your health, your job, your partner, your pets, etc. Include what they add to your life. Example: "I'm grateful for my two dogs because they provide companionship and get me out to walk every morning." Especially write and talk about the things you appreciate about your relationship and your partner. - Negative thinking is not a sign of intelligence. You may be assuming that people will admire your critical thinking by pointing out all the ways that things could go wrong. Wrong! They will perceive you as narrow-minded, unable to consider things from all angles, and simply pessimistic. - Allow your anxious moments to pass. Being negative is often a byproduct of anxiety. We worry about what did go wrong in the past and what could go wrong in the future. You don't have to do anything or say anything in response to your anxious moments. Get still and quiet and sit until the negativity and anxiety pass. Try meditation and prayer to calm and soothe yourself. - Be forgiving. Unforgiveness is holding on to negativity, disappointment, hurt, or pain. Forgive as quickly as you can. By not forgiving, you are only causing further injury to yourself. Forgiveness is for you and keeps your heart open and your spirit free from bitterness and other negative emotions. - Take care of yourself. Look after your physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual wellness for a healthy and satisfying marriage. Prioritize those things that keep you healthy and manage your stress. Include sufficient exercise, adequate sleep, good food, relaxation, and playtime. - Be kind. Really, that sums it up. It's just that simple. Be kind to your partner in your thoughts, words, and actions, and be kind to yourself. Relationship researcher Dr. John Gottman believes that every negative interaction a happily married couple has requires at least five positive ones to "balance it out" or even mitigate the negative interaction's effect. It is possible for you to shift your relationship from one that is negative and unsatisfying to one that is positive and loving. Love Recon marriage retreats and marriage conferences, and Recon Coaching can help. It's what we do! Read the full article

#communication #improveyourrelationship #marriageretreat

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chrisbanksdivorcewithkids · 2 years

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How to Explain Divorce to Your Child

Separation is an extremely excruciating and also tight spot. It is necessary to have your kids understand what is occurring to make sure that they can adapt to their brand-new living arrangements. This write-up will certainly help you discuss to your kid what is going on and why.

1. Describe to your kid why you are getting separated. Inform them how long it has actually been coming as well as why you feel it is required. Clarify to them that you like them and that this is for their very own excellent. Allow them know that you will certainly still be there for them and that you will certainly not leave them.

2. Talk with your youngster regarding separation as well as the result it will carry them. Explain to them that this will make them an orphan, which they may require to live with someone else. They may require to remain with family members or friends. You can tell them that you will be there for them throughout this moment, yet they will need to begin trying to find one more home.

3. Make certain to tell your youngster about your sensations as well as feelings during the separation. If you feel depressing, irritated, upset or clinically depressed, allow them recognize. This will assist them comprehend what is occurring. If you are having a hard time handling the circumstance, do not keep it all inside. Tell your kid how you are really feeling.

4. Tell your youngster that you will certainly still like them also if you obtain divorced. Inform them that you will certainly always be there for them. If you are unable to invest as much time with them as you would such as, you can describe that you are functioning to look after yourself and also your children. Let them know that you intend to be there for them, but that you require to do this for their very own great.

5. Let your child understand that they can talk with you regarding anything. Tell them that no matter what happens in life, they can always speak to you. Let them know that you are constantly there for them.

6. Make sure you tell your kid that you like them. Inform them that they are very important to you and that you will constantly be there to safeguard them. Let them understand that they are unique to you which you will certainly do every little thing you can to make certain that they more than happy.

7. Allow your kid know that you will certainly constantly love them whatever takes place. This will assist them to take care of any troubles that they may have with the divorce.

8. Speak with your youngster concerning the divorce and ask them questions. Ask what they think about the separation as well as what they wish to take place. Ask them just how they really feel concerning the separation as well as exactly how they are handling it.

9. Talk with your youngster about what will occur when you get separated. Inform them what you get out of them. If you have a prepare for what you want to do, allow them recognize what you expect of them.

10. Allow your kid understand that he or she is not alone. Inform them that there are other individuals who are experiencing the very same thing. Inform them that you can be there for them if they ever require somebody to speak with.

11. Inform your youngster that you love them and that you will certainly always be their parent. Allow them recognize that you respect them which you will always do your finest to make them pleased.

12. Inform your youngster that you can not wait till you see them once again. Tell them that you will be able to have fun with them once again and that you will certainly have the ability to take them locations together.

13. Tell your child that you are doing the very best that you can to exercise the problems in between you and also your spouse. Allow them know that you enjoy them which nothing will transform that.

14. If you have made up, inform your youngster that you like him or her. Let them recognize that you have composed because you love them.

15. Tell your kid that you still enjoy him or her and that you will constantly be his or her mother or daddy.

16. Tell your kid that you wish that they will always be happy. Inform them that you want them to grow up to be happy grownups.

#divorce with kids

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confusedinfj · 2 years

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How to Conflict - For Fe

Okay guys, floating a theory here. I can't speak for Fi, but I think Fe conflict needs to be handled according to the following steps:

Validate the person and your relationship. Both. This is important to establish you're not about to pull a 'it's not you, it's me' or full abandonment. Validation is key. Eg. 'I really love you and enjoy your company'.

Clarify why you're raising the issue now. This is especially important for long-standing grievances. You don't want to pull a 'you ALWAYS do x!' without at least explaining you haven't been seething for months. Eg. 'I wanted to see if I could get used to it,' or, 'I wanted to see if you remembered before bringing it up,' or, 'I didn't realise how much it upset me'. If you HAVE been seething for months, cos you didn't know how to raise it, try something like, 'it really upsets me, and I've been trying to figure out how to explain it'.

Now explain the problem as bluntly as you can. Don't be afraid to be emotional and cause upset. We have no inward value/feeling function, so our best chance is to say what we can as best we can and then help the other person feel okay about that. This doesn't mean hurling insults btw. Eg. 'When you do x, I feel y, and it makes me feel you don't care about me'.

Propose a solution. Eg. 'I want you to do x,' or, 'I feel really hurt and I need you do to something to show me you care'.

Follow with bonding activity. Eg. Watch TV, go for a walk, go out together. This needs to be done as soon as all the steps are completed.

If at any point tears happen or things get too heated, do NOT stop halfway through. You ideally need to start in a good headspace where you can get through all the points, or trouble will ensue.

Rationale:

Basically, I would functionally explain the points as follows:

Fe. Obviously. This will be easier for you the higher up it is, since it will be your natural first choice. While tps want to receive this step, they may forget to provide it and assume you understand their motivations.

This is part of Fe. It's another thing a tp would like to hear but might forget to provide. Their low Fe may overestimate your feeling capabilities (they assume you know they care).

Ti. This is why fjs might struggle with this part. This is the introspective part, and fjs have it low down. I argue that tps should be good at this part, in comparison to fjs. While fjs want to receive this step, they may struggle to provide an explanation and assume you understand what they mean with very little information provided. Their low ti may overestimate your analytical capabilities (they assume you can figure it out).

Fe/Ti combo. This requires the person to be aware of themselves enough to know they need something (Ti) but confident enough to express that (Fe). I'd argue fjs may be slightly better at expressing their needs, but may be frustratingly vague (low ti not sure what it needs). I'd argue tps might be better at knowing what they need, but be unable to express it (low Fe not sure how to make a social appeal).

Fe. Tps may forget this step and feel bad after a confrontation without really knowing why. They may take longer to realise they want to reconnect.

Natural Conflict Styles:

So then, if you boil it down to the natural state of fjs, the only steps they naturally know to follow are:

Validate the person. (I really like you and value your friendship)

Say why you're mentioning it. (And I didn't want to mention it, cos I know it's kind of silly).

Vaguely ask someone to do something to make you feel better. (But could you maybe not laugh at me?)

Hang out immediately to make up for any pain you caused.

Which, as you can see, isn't naturally conducive to relational change. The problem is never properly addressed.

On the flip side, you have the tp's natural state:

Phrasing the issue as bluntly as you can. (You laughed at me when I did x, and that was rally hurtful!)

An appeal to change that isn't explicitly stated. (Repeated declarations of hurt).

Hang out later to make up for any hurt you've caused, or offer an apology, or a gift.

Which, as you can see, isn't naturally conducive to keeping friends OR fixing problems. The problem may have been properly addressed, but the manner may scare people off. Changes may not be followed through with because the manner was more notable than the request and/or the apology seemed to nullify it anyway.

Let me know what you think 🙃

#Theory #Personal theory #Mbti #Conflict #Infj #Enfj #Entp #Intp #Fe #Ti #Isfj #Esfj #Estp #Istp

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volterran-wine · 2 years

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Hello :))

Sooo you've said that a sire bond can be quite strong and intimate and if a human joins The Volturi that because of said sire bond one of the kings aka Aro usually turns them so that they're more loyal to them right?

Hope I didn't misunderstood that...

And I thought a little about that. It's said that the whole transformation is intense and extremely painful. So what if because of that the newborn vampire is traumatised and wakes up, sees the person who bit them and '' put them through such pain '' and simply looses it?

Did that happen before? How do The Volturi deal with such a situation? How would the kings react?

Let's say Aro turned someone and afterwards they have a hard time dealing with the extreme pain and trauma of the transformation. The newborn sees Aro, associates him with the whole transformation thing and attacks? Like blind rage?

Or would the sire bond keep the newborn from ripping their creator apart?

Hope I explained that well enough so you get what I'm talking about. I'm not that good at explaining my thoughts.

Have a great day and thanks in advance for answering :D

Good afternoon Anonymous, rest assured; I understood what you were asking about just fine. Hopefully I was able to clarify how The Sire-Bond can function... and how it should not.

𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐕𝐨𝐥𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐢 & 𝐔𝐧𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐛𝐥𝐞 𝐍𝐞𝐰𝐛𝐨𝐫𝐧𝐬

The thing with the sire-bond; it does not have to develop into something deep or familial. It all depends on what the sire does after the human has been turned into a vampire. So say a human joins because they are a mate of someone in the coven, or they might have a potential gift; The Kings would want them to be connected to the coven in a significant manner. If they establish the sire bond they can make sure that at the very least the vampire in question does not end up harboring ill will towards them.

But to use your example; Aro turns a human he thinks will be valuable, it all happens a little too fast because he has no choice. He has played this game before with Jane and Alec, their turning was a much more traumatizing affair after all; this should work out just fine. It does not. The newborn wakes up and is quite uncontrollable and Aro has become their source or ire and disdain. Even though they feed and are wrestled by the strongest vampires in the coven they do not calm down. Aro tries speaking with them, pleading to the rational parts of their brain that is not clouded by vampiric instinct. It does not work. They do not calm no matter what, and Aro realizes he has made a grand mistake; the coven was unable to guide them safely to immortality. If things do not get better The Newborn is killed.

This is why it is so damn important that a human is prepared for their transformation, and why I believe The Volturi would only turn a human in distress if they absolutely have to for some reason. I fully believe that The Volturi gives a human they want to turn a couple of weeks to a couple of months in order to prepare themselves accordingly.

The sire-bond does not automatically keep a newborn from harming their sire, that bond will have to be developed after their turning to inspire loyalty. So if a sire has turned a rather volatile person or traumatized them, the fact that their venom runs in the newborns veins does not keep them from being harmed or worse; killed.

#Volturi Questionnaire #Vampire Anatomy #Vampire Society #Volturi Employment

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smash-chu · 3 years

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As i've stated before i've wanted to make a Viva Piñata iceberg, and while i've enjoyed putting stuff on it and writing down some info on each point i need some help with putting more stuff on here! I'm sure some of you have some neat things, theories or rumors that would go on here, do send those my way (preferably with a explanation, too)

Explanation on each point can be found below

The TV show - Some people’s first exposure to the franchise was the TV show, made to go alongside the games as a sort of advertisement. It was made by 4Kids and had a total of 2 seasons, starring the 4 main characters: Hudson Horstachio, Franklin Fizzlybear, Paulie Pretztail and Fergy Fudgehog.

Rare games easter eggs - There are plenty of easter eggs to other Rare games throughout Viva Piñata, the easiest ones to note are the broken arcade cabinets found in the first game as well as the various nods to Banjo Kazooie - such as the Bird and Bear statue, Mumbo statue, Breegull backpack and Bottle’s Glasses. Stardos is Dastardos - The game never tells you this directly, but it’s an easy and obvious conclusion to make.

Twingersnaps and Fourheads - Without using a guide or looking it up you may actually be baffled on how to acquire these piñatas in game. There is no obvious hint in game to tell you to hit the Syrupent egg before it hatches on the third bounce, which means you either have to figure it out through experimentation or by looking it up.

Leafos False Rumors - Leafos is meant to give you good advice to help you out while you play the game if you talk to her, however not all information she gives is true. Some rumors include putting a Badgesicle in water will turn it into a Sweetooth, feeding a Doenut to a Pretztail turns it into a Mallowolf and so on. None of these actually work.

Piñatas aren’t permanently broken - When a piñata is broken it is magically repaired, at least when on Piñata island, reforming at the edge of a garden when broken at one. It is stated that piñatas are repaired after having been sent to parties, which would potentially mean that piñatas only magically repair themselves when on the island.

The PC Port - Not very well advertised, there was a PC port released for the first Viva Piñata game. There are a couple of differences between the port and the original Xbox 360 release, which are touched upon later.

Piñatas are genderless - Technically no piñata is given a gender in game, all piñatas function the same. While in the show gendered piñatas are present it could potentially be that piñatas are naturally genderless and then if they are sapient can choose genders which fit their identity.

Burger king toys - A bundle of burger king exclusive plastic toys of piñatas were made and sold alongside the children's meals, some of the piñatas were Elephanilla, Sparrowmint, Goobaa and so forth. These toys are nowadays rare and sought after by people who collect the very small amount of official Viva Piñata merch that exists.

Wildcards - Wildcard piñatas are unique piñatas that have a feature which makes it stand out next to others of its species. There are a total of 3 variants of wildcards per piñata, some being exclusively gained through trading piñatas online. In the original game wildcards were extremely rare and there was only one variant, while they were made easier to acquire in TiP.

Both the games and show are canon - Just what it says, according to the creators both the games and show are canon to Viva Piñata lore. This makes for some strange implications, but that is for later.

TiP Fence Glitch / Exploit - A sort of well known glitch often used while playing Viva Piñata Trouble in Paradise. Fences normally do not stop Ruffians and Professor Pester from entering your garden, as they simply destroy them when they’re in the way. However, if arranged in a specific pattern in the area next to the volcano they enter from, the fence will make them permanently stuck. They will be stopped at the very edge of the garden at the fence, unable to properly enter or do anything. This can occur unintentionally as well in both the original game and TiP, as sometimes Ruffians and Professor Pester get stuck on seemingly random things and become unable to do anything.

Domesticated piñatas becoming un-domesticated - A strange difference between the original game and TiP is the fact that you can no longer buy domesticated piñatas from the Paper Pet’s store. Instead of being purchased they simply appear in the wild like any other wild piñata, whether this implies that these piñatas are no longer considered domesticated or is just a game design choice is unclear.

Piñata cards - In Viva Piñata Trouble in Paradise there is a function which is called Piñata Vision, which utilizes the Xbox Live Vision camera. By scanning the card you can get the piñata or item displayed on the card, some of these cards feature the developers in the form of a piñata and characters from other games.

Language Dubs - The PC port of the original game has a lot of language dubs, translated into languages such as Dutch, Swedish, Spanish, Chinese and more. Some of these do not extend to the UI oddly enough, while for the majority of translations all of the game’s features are translated accordingly, with the exception of piñata names. The language chosen is determined by the language set for the computer, so if you want the game in a specific language you’d need to change the language of the computer before installing it.

PC port graphical downgrades - Oddly enough the PC port has some graphical differences compared to the original Xbox 360 release. Mostly the graphics being downgraded, even on the highest settings, such as the lighting and texture resolution on objects and the environment.

Some piñatas are sapient, others not - Because of the fact that both the show and games are canon makes some things kind of weird. Though even if the show wasn’t canon this would still be a thing - as thanks to the existence of Langston and some of the show characters appearing in the DS game. Most piñatas in the games act like animals and cannot speak, however in the show and with Langston they are very much as sapient as a human. What causes a piñata of the same species to be sapient or not? Why does no character in the game acknowledge this strange difference? We don’t know.

Magic is real - In the Viva Piñata universe, at least on Piñata Island, magic exists. Seen in the form of Leafos and Jardinero summoning items, Jack transforming items into other things, Seedos and other characters teleporting and both Dastardos and Storkos being able to fly. There are other examples of magic, nobody really explains why magic exists or to what extent it is used or capable of being, but simply something that is commonplace on Piñata Island. If magic exists in other places is unknown.

The DS game - Known as Viva Piñata Pocket Paradise, the DS game came out after both the original game and TiP. It features a mix of piñatas from both the other games, however not all of them, because of the limitations of being on the DS. It is pretty much just another Viva Piñata game where you tend to a garden, now using the touchscreen to use your tools and so on.

How the fuck does the family not recognize Dastardos as Stardos - A strange phenomenon considering at least Jardinero considers Dastardos familiar, but apparently none of the other family members have been able to figure out that Dastardos is in fact Stardos. Whether this is them just being very oblivious or not it’s still sad that they can’t even recognize their own family member after being corrupted. This is also even more strange considering Dastardos lives literally across the garden from his family, how have they not been able to tell by now?

Langston taking over the position of authority in piñata central from Jeffe - Apparently Jeffe used to be in charge of the piñata central and was later kicked off his position and replaced by Langston, this is to reflect how Jeffe was originally planned as the head of the piñata central before being replaced by Langston as influenced by the show. Why he was kicked off his position is uncertain, but theorized to be because of the fact that he turned into a piñata or half piñata from ingesting too much candy - though why this would influence him being kicked off i’m not sure. Maybe he abused the central for his own gain?

“They all wear masks, some are just more elaborate than others” - A statement from a developer when asked about the masks worn by the humanoid characters in the games, whether they’re their actual heads or some kinda mask. This was meant to clarify that all the human characters are fully human, however it still leaves some things unanswered - such as if they are masks then why can we not see Fannie Franker’s face inside the mailbox on her head? Or what does that entail for the Ruffians whose bodies are pretty much completely covered in their masks.

Squazzil name debate - A reference to how in game Leafos mentions that the name for the Squazzil was debated before you, the player, arrived at the island. Being apparently called Nonsquirrel as they were trying to figure out a name for the species. Whether this is true or not is uncertain, as Leafos does state untrue rumors sometimes.

The side characters in P-Factor - P-Factor is a minigame in TiP that is you showing off your piñata in a contest against other players or npcs. This minigame features both already existing npcs, such Leafos for example, as well as some made exclusively for the minigames. Some of these npcs include Maxime, Babochka, Nana Urf and more. They also make an appearance in the Great Piñata Paperchase minigame, however they are much more prominently presented in the P-Factor minigame.

Unknown blue flower - There is a blue flower which appears outside of the garden space as a decoration in the original game. This blue flower is not a flower which appears anywhere else, and cannot be planted in the garden either. Most of the flowers and trees found outside the garden space are plants that are available for the player, but this one flower is unique in that it isn’t part of those plants.

Leafos might be a lesbian - As it is very much implied that Leafos is the one who writes the entries for the items, objects, characters and piñatas in the journal one can glean interesting information and thoughts about Leafos. In the entry for the Pink Flutterscotch there is the sentence “A girl (that I may or may not have liked) once told me that the Pink Flutterscotch reminded her of a kiss.” Some people take this as an implication that Leafos may be a lesbian and or bi, which i personally think would be neat.

Unused piñata concepts - There are plenty of piñatas that never made it into any of the games, as one would expect. Examples of piñatas that never appear in the game but had concepts made for them are a Giraffe, a Platypus that would’ve been acquired by breeding a Quackberry and Sweetooth together, a Hammerhead shark with a sour form and a Kangaroo. A goldfish piñata was also part of concepts, however this piñata does appear in the game - as the fish in the bowl on Miss Petulas head.

Banjo Kazooie Mountains - One of the rarer (hah) easter eggs to spot in the original game, in the distance across the swamp where Seedos lives one can see a mountain which has Banjo and Kazooie carved into the mountain. This is much easier to see in the Xbox 360 version compared to the PC port, because of the higher resolution textures.

Silent piñatas - Every piñata is voice acted, or are they? One might notice that there are two, well technically eleven, piñatas that are completely silent. The Flutterscotches and Motdrops are fully silent, not making any noise. Why this is is uncertain, as other bug piñatas do have noises, such as the Taffly and Sweetle. It may be because normally no noise is associated with butterflies or moths in real life, or it may be because these piñatas are meant to be more akin to decorational than a “proper” piñata.

Dragonache flying away glitch - A glitch which is easily done in game, by making the dragonache engage in a fight with another piñata and using the menu to send it off from the garden. By opening the fighting view, which can be accessed to monitor the fight separate from the normal camera view, it will focus in on the two piñatas. The camera will become strange as the Dragonache flies away from the garden, letting you see out of bounds and see details otherwise obscured by things in the background around the garden. I recommend doing this after having done at least one mandatory fight beforehand, as you are forced to watch the first fight that occurs and will unable to do anything till it is finished. Thus if you do this glitch while forced to watch it you will be unable to access the rest of your garden for quite some time.

Giant Zumbug glitch - Not certain if a glitch or hack, there have been reports of a giant Zumbug in TiP which is acquired through unknown means. This giant Zumbug can be sent through the Xbox Live service, but more than that is not known.

Professor Pester is legit evil and fucked up - Even though he’s presented in the show as a bumbling idiot of a villain, he has done a lot of fucked up shit. Not only does he employ Ruffians to mess up other people’s gardens, including Jardinero’s garden, he is also the reason why sour piñatas exist. Making a sour goop which is used for creating sour candy, it is a candy which makes anyone who eats it sick and possibly corrupts them - this is evident in how he corrupted Stardos by giving him sour candy. He may have rather bland goals as a villain, simply wanting complete control of the piñata island and its piñatas, but he’s done some pretty messed up stuff to try and accomplish this goal.

Extra color variants - All piñatas, except for the Flutterscotches, have three color variants that can be acquired by feeding the piñata specific things. However, there are piñatas that have more variants than others, through being caught in the Pinartic or Dessert Desert, and then feeding those the same things. This will cause them to gain a different tint of color compared to their normal counterparts, as thanks to having a different default color because of being from a different region.

Giant and tiny seeds - You can gain a plethora of things from the mine, which includes seeds. Sometimes when the mine uncovers seeds there is a chance for the seed to either be bigger or smaller than normal, these seeds work exactly like their normal sized versions, but sell for different prices. The size difference can vary wildly, with really big seeds and incredibly tiny seeds that are hard to see.

Ivor has two mouths - Something that may be easily missed, but Ivor Bargain does as a matter of fact have two mouths. One for each “face” he has, for when he’s a beggar and a merchant, he can flip between the two by spinning his head, flipping his head up or down. This is a little freaky, and completely glanced over in game, left unexplained why he has two mouths or can flip his head upside down with no consequences.

Leafos is vegan - A very recent thing which has been observed through the rare cookbook that has been released, which features an array of rare game inspired recipes. Recipes which are vegan or vegan friendly are marked with “Leafos vegan approved”, which implies that Leafos is vegan.

Humans can become piñatas rumor - In game this is presented in TiP with Jeffe, which is a human piñata or a half human half piñata, he states “If you eat enough candy and pull a face in the wind you'll become a piñata, I never want to see another piece of candy let alone a piñata full of it.” as part of dialogue during P-Factor. We cannot confirm whether this is actually true or not, but if Jeffe’s statement is true then it would imply that humans can turn into piñatas. This in turn creates a lot of questions, such as why does this happen? Has this happened to people outside of Piñata Island? Is this something exclusive to just the island or candy from the living piñatas? Can this happen with animals as well?

Tamed sour piñatas reverting via mail - A gameplay mechanic which is not commonly seen is the fact that tamed sour piñatas can revert back to a sour state. This occurs when you send a tamed sour piñata to a player which hasn’t unlocked the tamed version of that piñata, when the piñata is taken out of its mailed box it will be the sour version. This happens in all the main games, including Pocket Paradise as well.

Dastardos and Seedos special interaction - I have not personally seen this interaction but many have reported Dastardos and Seedos having an interaction with each other in game. If people want to elaborate on this or have footage of it that’d be great.

Viva Piñata Candy Stash - There are a few piñata games which aren’t widely known, for example this Adobe Flash tower defense game developed and published by 4Kids TV, known as Viva Piñata Candy Stash. This game features Professor Pester trying to steal the player’s candy using Ruffian robots, and to stop him the player builds towers invented by piñata characters from the tv show.

Piñata mascot suits - As part of promotions and promotion material there exists mascot suits of some piñatas, such as the Horstachio, Pretztail and Fudgehog. Whether these suits are kept in storage somewhere or have been thrown away we do not know.

#viva pinata #viva piñata #vp #iceberg #iceberg meme #yes i actually sat down n tried to make this #i feel like one can add more stuff but also i dunno what exactly #so do give suggestions if you have em #and if i should remove a point or replace it

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elencelebrindal · 3 years

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Female Cloths that have no reason to exist

You all know what I’m talking about, right? Yeah, you do. You absolutely do.

I’m talking about three specific instances of Silver Cloths that, instead of looking like armor and acting like armor, are more like... oh, you’re a girl? Let’s show that body! Let’s have nothing but a pathetic excuse of armor that should you try to fight will have you easily stabbed in the guts.

What pisses me off is not the (bad) design itself. It’s the fact that the Silver Cloths are described are armors that cover the body more than the Bronze Cloths. Yet, we have Marin, Shain and Yuzuriha wearing nothing. These Cloths should adapt to the body of the wearer, right? Well, I want you to imagine how those pathetic armors would adapt to a man’s body. It’s so painfully clear that those armors (or lack of armors) were designed without keeping practicality in mind, but just to have something revealing.

This is a really long post, so I’m hiding it under the “read more”, but I wanted to put my thoughts out there because I’m honestly tired.

We have example of functional armor. We have June (who’s still better in Awakening as far as design goes, imo), and we have Thetis.

So first of all, let’s take a look at those good ones, shall we?

This is, in my opinion, one of the best armors I’ve seen worn by a woman on this series. It’s not different from an armor you would see a man wear, just adapted to fit a woman’s body. It has everything; gauntlets, boots, cuirass, pauldrons... nothing’s missing. A perfect example of how an armor should look. Not a comparison for a Silver Cloth, because the probability of a Silver Cloth having less pieces is high, but a comparison between a good decision and a bad decision.

This is really good for a Bronze Cloth. The amount of armor, given the description of those Cloths, is perfect. She has everything, and at the same time not too much, perfect for an armor of that rank, since we know that the Bronze Cloth cover the smallest amount of the body when compared to Silver and Gold. The only thing I don’t like is that she has an impossible “catsuit” (I really don’t have any better ways to call that) under it. It would make way more sense if the upper part was more like a tank top, than whatever sorcery is going on. You ever tried to wear sleeveless anything? You know that stuff slips off continuously. Aside from that, she’s amazing.

The main reason why I wanted to present these examples to you is to clarify that I’m not complaining about how much of the body is shown. There’s plenty more male characters that literally are unable to stay dressed on this show (Shiryu, I’m talking to you, wear a goddamn shirt for once). I’m complaining about how unfair it is to have female characters being so... in a way, objectified. We have good examples, so why not using those examples for characters that should need more than what they’re given?

To make this even more clear, another armor that has no reason to exist is this:

Because honestly, a Surplice covering nothing of importance is really useful.

I’m focusing on the female characters here because, while half a Surplice is bad, is not as bad as women wearing Silver Cloths that are supposed to be a better protection than Bronze Cloths and instead they get to wear metallic underwear.

This little armor:

only makes sense for a Bronze Saint. They are supposed not to have a lot of it. And yet, this example in particular has more pieces than the classic Eagle Cloth. It does nothing, but it literally covers more than a Silver Cloth. This armor also has boots, of course.

Let’s tackle the problem, shall we?

Try to convince me that she’s not wearing just a goddamn metal bra. Come on. This is not armor. This is Marin opening her closet, finding one of her fanciest bras, and wearing it alongside those gifts that are actual armor parts.

The smallest Bronze Cloth of the classic series has a large total of pieces. Boots, gauntlets, some kind of cuirass, pauldrons, knee guards, helmet (in Saint Seiya the definition of helmet is weird, by now we know). Some of them also have those pieces that in a suit of armor could be faulds or tassets, some of them have simple belts, some have cuissess. Give or take 1 to 3 pieces, basically. The smallest proper Silver Cloth has the same pieces, only they cover much more of the body. Or at least, they should, but we have examples of Silver Cloths literally being the same as Bronze Cloths. It makes me kinda frustrated, but knowing that those armors are stronger gives me a bit of peace. The best Silver Cloth is the Lyra Cloth, obviously, since it actually matches the description accordingly.

So... we have what? 2 for the boots, 2 for the gauntlets, 1 for cuirass, 2 for the pauldrons, 2 for the knee guards, 1 for the helmet, and give or take 1-3 pieces for the “optional” ones I mentioned. It’s 10 pieces of armor.

How many pieces is the Eagle Cloth composed of? 0 boots, 1 gauntlet, 1 breastplate (in absence of other words to call that), 1 plauldron, 2 knee guards, 1 helmet. It’s 6 pieces of armor. She’s supposed to have the same, if not more, compared to a Bronze.

Not only that, have you seen what she’s wearing under it? How is that even remotely comfortable in battle? You know how many times that weird... what the hell is that? A tight high sock? would slip down during a fight? Unless she glued it in place, I highly doubt it’s a good fighting outfit. It would have been better for her to wear either a single catsuit, or even to keep the leotard but have both of the red tights (preferably leggings uh, you don’t go to battle in tights) be a full piece.

The manga armor actually has one more piece. It’s not much, but it’s something. It resembles way more how other Cloth’s are treated, when the breastplate is so small. However, it’s still missing boots. There’s literally no other Cloth, save for Ophiuchus, that doesn’t have boots. What now, they are too much for a woman to handle? June and Thetis have boots. Marin gets leg warmers and shoes she has to personally provide, apparently, because her Cloth is a discount one. I get that it has to resemble an eagle, but come on. There’s totems depicting smaller animals that have more stuff.

This artwork I found is from CamilleAddams on Deviantart:

See how easy is to give her a proper armor? It’s still missing the boots, but it’s already much better. It looks like a Silver Cloth, now. And this is only one of the many “updates” I’ve seen made by artists way more talented that I could ever aspire to be.

This is my own sketch of a proper Eagle Cloth:

Is this really so unrealistic? To have an actually good Cloth for a Silver Saint?

Now, time to take a look at Shaina.

How many pieces is this armor comprised of? 1 breastplate, 2 pauldrons, 0 boots, 1 gauntlet, 1 helmet, 2 knee guards. A total of 7 pieces, just one more that Eagle. 3 less than a basic Bronze Cloth.

The same exact discourse applies to the Ophiuchus Cloth. Copy-paste what I wrote for the Eagle Cloth and use it here. Also the hot pink leg warmers paired with yellow HEELS (which yes, are stupid), green leggings and brown leotard are a spectacular combo. Who in the fresh hell decided the colors for her, this is a disaster more than her Cloth.

At least she actually has no gaps between leotard and (hopefully) leggings.

I can’t believe I’m actually saying this, but the Omega Ophiuchus Cloth is so much better than this, at least in base concept. The art is as ugly as my face in the morning, but the concept is legit.

Look at this, ridiculous but PROPER armor.

Once again, the manga has one more piece. It looks like she’s not wearing shoes, but it’s the manga, I give that a pass.

But this particular Cloth makes me unbelievably angry, and you know why? Because the Ophiuchus Gold Cloth exists. And the Ophiuchus Gold Cloth is the proof that this thing doesn’t need to be so useless, because if that can be proper armor, this could be as well. It’s a design choice, and it’s a poor one to say the least.

Look at the Gold Ophiuchus Cloth (render by LadyHeinstein on Deviantart):

Look at this, and tell me that a decent suit of armor couldn’t be conjured for the Silver Cloth as well. The Ophiuchus constellation is literally a man holding a snake. There’s no excuse for not having a human-like Cloth like, I don’t know, the Andromeda Cloth. Instead, Shaina gets a version that’s not even half a human figure, with nothing to wear but discounted armor that honestly should go straight back to the shop where it came from.

This is what makes me even angrier when it comes to this particular Cloth.

Again, this is an “updated” version of the Ophiuchus Cloth by CamilleAddams on Deviantart:

See how much better it is? How much more realistic it looks, when it comes to Saint armor? It looks like a proper Silver Cloth like this, even with no boots.

In comparison, here’s my own sketch (much lower quality, I know) of the Cloth:

It’s not that difficult! Just have them wear the same stuff their companions wear, is this so much to ask?

But now we come to the best one. Peak character design. So amazingly appropriate for battle that it’s stunning. Crane Yuzuriha from The Lost Canvas.

What. The. Absolute. Fuck.

How is that a Silver Cloth? How is that a Cloth? Come on!

Leaving aside the fact that I hate how she doesn’t wear the mask (I made a post about this whole issue, back in the day, I’ll try to link it as soon as I can), she has basically no armor on expect for her legs and arms. Whatever bullshit is going on on her chest is everything but armor. She has sandals, for gods sake. Sandals. You don’t want to be a Saint wearing sandals, this is not Ancient Romans having wars for breakfasts, this is a supernatural warrior constantly kicking the shit out of stone and trees (generally speaking). How are sandals something appropriate for a Saint? This is the same exact stuff I wrote for the skirts of the Saintias, it’s not appropriate for the setting.

But let’s leave this, and let’s tackle what she (doesn’t) wear under her armor. Yuzuriha, my dear, I know that you have abs of steel and you want to show off, but that’s an excellent way to get injured all over with no effort whatsoever. Unless you have invulnerable skin, you’d want to wear something better than booty shorts and bandages that are apparently glued on her boobs. Wear at least something like June, if you don’t want to have sleeves. This is a design flaw, not something beautiful. The concept is good on its own, but a Saint should NOT be dressed like that. They’re constanly being thrown at whatever surface is the hardest at the moment. Imagine your bare skin sliding at the speed of sound on rocks and dirt. It’s not only unpractical, is technically dangerous. And I get it, this is an anime, everyone is invulnerable unless blood is needed, but even then this is utterly ridiculous.

And now, the most ridiculous thing of them all: the breastplate. It’s literally two sheets of silver feathers apparently glued to her skin. Nothing more. It’s not armor, it just... it’s literally nothing. She’s better off not wearing it, at this point, because it’s useless.

She would just need a better breastplate/cuirass for that Cloth to be appropriate. Everything else is fine (minus the heels, but at this point why do I even try). In comparison, a male Saint wearing that Cloth would probably end up shirtless, either the Cloth adjusts itself to the body or not. Who in their right mind would go in battle shirtless????? (yeah yeah, Shiryu and Dohko, but those two have armor on when they don’t act like strippers, at least pay them good money dammit).

What infuriates me is knowing how the other Silver Cloths are like. It’s painfully obvious that Yuzuriha had to be the edgy woman with revealing clothes and armor, when you look at the REAL Silver Cloths of this series.

Those shrtless dudes also want trouble, but at least they are somewhat covered. They still need to wear a goddamn shirt, but they also have more armor. Why they can be THIS normal, but Yuzuriha has to look like she lost half her armor in a dumpster fire and tried to make to with the remnants?

I really like her as a character, and I don’t mind her wearing what she wears (dude, she’s can afford to dress like that, I wish), but the Cloth is terrible.

The women in Saint Seiya Omega were better equipped than these three poor souls. I don’t like that series at all, and I forgot at least half of it (if not more) since the last time (aka the first) I watched it, but they do have more properly designed armors. These three - Marin, Shaina, and Yuzuriha - are a perfect example of what you don’t have to do when designing armor for female characters, unless you don’t actually need the armor and it just aesthetic. June and Thetis, on the other hand, are the perfect example of what you HAVE to do when designing armor for female characters, following the circumstances and the setting.

Thank you for reading my (way too long) essay. Have a good day.

#saint seiya #i cavalieri dello zodiaco #los caballeros del zodiaco #os cavaleiros do zodiaco #knights of the zodiac #the lost canvas #silver saints #bronze saints #eagle marin #ophiuchus shaina #crane yuzuriha

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fipindustries · 4 years

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Mouth Dreams analysis

MOUTH DREAMS

I dont even need to introduce to you the marvelous mash up works of neil cicierega’s mouth trilogy (now quadrilogy i guess). We all know them, we all love them and we all have our own interpretations of what they mean. For some merely musical shitposting, for others clever experimentation laden with phrases, leivmotifs and themes repeating here and there, and for many a deep and rich bounty of lore, hidden messages, subtextual stories and underlying narratives implied across multiple variations of all star, hidden in the meta data and uncovered only after doing spectrographic analysis on the soundwaves of the songs after being played at x0.000003 times the speed. It is usually understood that all the albums together form a unique and rich tapestry, a coherent whole that can be understood in its totality. Im not here to do that.

I came up with my own interpretation of what Mouth Dreams can be read as, independent from the other albums. Think of it as me presenting this entry as the soundtrack of a musical with its own self contained story. It is the interpretation that i chose to go by and i hope its understood the brilliance of these albums lies on how weird and vague and open ended they are such that any number of different readings can be extracted from them. So lets see the one i extracted, without further ado, lets begin.

Yahoo

It is an out of context, in media res, start for the whole story. We hear a voice, echoing in the void, yelling at the top of its lungs, reaching desperately for human conection. One form of looking at this song is that the voice only receives an empty response from its own echoes, but i dont take it like that. The song is too sublime and too beautiful for these, the notes soaring too high, the desperate plead is being answered. Someone is listening to the plead and answering right back, harmonizing.

This whole album is in a way that howl, reaching to others, and we the audience are answering back, listening. But also on another level, this whole album is the protagonist telling the tragic story of his own life to some sympathetic figure who wants to help, perhaps a therapist, perhaps a friend, perhaps a partner, we’ll see. And as the yelling subsides the story starts proper.

Mouth dreams (intro)

We are being slowly taken into the story, entering the psyche of the main character, entering their subconscious, their dreams, their memories and therefore, their past. We’ll see what life they led and how they ended up where they are now and we start right at his infancy with….

Spongerock

Spongebob is a great indicator that we are seeing this person’s early childhood. They seem to be a rambunctious and energetic child. Cheerful and enthusiastic, yet there seems to be some underlying aggression there. The music is a bit to strong, and in comes freddy mercury berating the poor kid “you’ve got mud on your face, you big disgrace”. Who is this entity being so hostile to a poor kid? What lies beneath that image of a happy kid? We are about to see on the next song.

Just a baby

This is where trouble starts. We are treated to a dramatic song about a poor young baby who seems to be having a pretty sad life. Justin bieber, former teen idol, keeps lamenting about the poor baby being stuck in baby jail. This song is very much about loss of innocence. A shadowy figure of the mother is introduced who tells the protagonist to be a good boy. And almost at the end of the song we get a suggestion of what’s so wrong on this poor kid’s life. His mother apparently “shot a man in reno”. We dont know if this is a literal thing the mother did or if this is a metaphor for the mother doing something horrible, commiting some crime, harming someone in some way. While its not clarified we see strong hints of what the mother could have done in the next song

Superkiller

As we worry what may be so wrong with this kid’s mother we come across the title for this song, ominous. Now in the original Psycho killer the killer was clearly the singer, but in here the song is twisted and turned a bit, recontextualized by the beats of “cant touch this”. It seems like this time is the singer the one who doesnt want to be touched by some nefarious figure (the mother? Is the mother a psycho killer?) maybe the kid saw the mother killing people “i dont like people when they’re on fire”. whatever the case might be the kid is clearly strung up and under a lot of stress and we are introduced to the first hint of the insomnia that will plague this persons life who cant sleep because “my bed’s on fire”. The horrible situation in which this kid is living is taking a severe toll on their mental health. How is he going to cope with this?

Get happy

I think everyone can agree that “come on get happy” is incredibly unnerving when mindlessly repeated over and over. A first read might suggest the kid is forced to put on a happy face, to pretend that there is nothing wrong going on with their life. But as the song progresses it could also be interpreted as the kid being tempted to find refuge from the horror by unsavory methods “get happy” as in acquire happiness of a forced and artificial kind, perhaps drugs. But also “we’ll make you happy”. The kid is not running into a rabbit hole on their own, they are being invited. Its possible that the kid is being seduced by a bad crowd to move into seedy circles as an escape from their life.

Ribs

In here we see the kid, probably a young teenager by this point as suggested by the use of marylin manson in this song, falling deep into debauchery. The specific kind is not needed to know, it could be drugs, it could be sexual experimentation, it could be criminality. Point is this is unhealthy and dangerous and depraved, emphasized by the title of the song “ribs” as a reference to the rumor that marilyn manson removed two of his ribs in order to perform autofellatio. Whatever the case it clearly works, the song is actually a great bop, energetic and upbeat, the kid is content with the situation, at least for a while…

My mouth

This song is the coming down from the high. In here we see at full blast how the life of depravity on the one side and their situation at home on the other have turned the character into a hardcore insomniac, their health is severy compromised “My eyes feel like they're gonna bleed

Dried up and bulging out my skull”. Another way to read this song is as we momentarily cutting back to the present. After all, what we have been seeing until now has been dreams/memories and this is a short look at the wreck that the person is as a grown up, stirring awake from their memories and trying desperately to forget or to go back to sleep where they can have a reprieve. As evidenced by the next song

Aerolong

I dont wanna miss a thing is completely turned on its head. As the lyrics clearly demonstrate is the protagonist who cant go to sleep being chased by their memories, specifically the memories of their mother “I don't miss you, babe, and I do want to miss a thing”. As the person is tossing and turning on their bed, unable to sleep they talk about how they dont miss their mother at all and they want to “miss” her as in they want to forget her.

Sleepin’

The character is constantly speaking about how they are “sleeping with their clothes on” this is due to them falling asleep during their everyday life because of their lack of sleep every night, this person is barely functional, their sleep schedule is broken. Also since this song is about the character actually sleeping it also works as a bridge back into their dreams and so into their past.

Aammoorree

Is another vignette about the character sinking into disreputable states in order to escape their shitty situation as a teenager, this time very specifically about being completely drunk and perhaps experiencing romance for the first time. The character is probably at a club or a party, drunkenly hitting on someone, though chances are without much success as the song becomes increasingly more incoherent and we go into a full black out. This gets bad enough that the person finally has to take a look and….

Where is my mom

….stop. It is highly suggestive that in the album the “stop” is part of this song rather than the last one. The person is not only stopping their current alcoholic binge. They are stopping the entire situation and taking a good look at their life, finally confronting face to face what is happening and why it is so wrong. Now “stacy’s mom” was always kind of an inappropriate song due to it being about a child having a crush on their friend’s mom, as sung by an adult. But as it is recontextualized by the instruments of “where is my mind” it takes on a much darker tone. The romantic words are still there but now with a sinister bent. This time the main character asks their friend if they can go and take refuge at their house and when they ask if the mom is going to be there they sound more scared than eager, specially suggested by the way he seems to be stammering the word “pool”, they are nervous and terrified. They also talk about stacy’s mom as “all they want and been waiting for so long”, probably because all they want is a normal, loving mother. Presumably this song is about the main character finally talking about what is going on at his house with a friend, confessing and that confession gives way to realization

Fredhammer

Then realization gives way to anger. During this whole song we see the teenage character finally grasping how fucked up the whole situation is and he gets progressively more worked up with each successive aggravation “Why did it take so long? Why (hoo!), did I wait so long, huh?

Why??? To figure it out, but I did it (huh?)”. From this we transition to the kid actually confronting their mom face to face. The line “So you can take that cookie And stick it up your (yeah!)” can be read as the mother trying to pretend there is nothing wrong or pacifying the kid with empty gestures of motherhood, by making cookies and the kid spitting that back into their face. The kid gets more and more worked up through the song as we seamlessly transition to the next one.

Limp Wicket

This song is pure incoherent chaos but something very important can be rescued out of the chaos. This song uses the lyrics from the “ewok celebration” which is presumably the song the ewoks sing in return of the jedi after the empire was defeated. So in a way is the kid celebrating that he finally confronted their mother and presumably defeated her. This is emphazised by the recurrence of the lyrics ““So you can take that cookie”. Is not specified how the mother is defeated, maybe social services or the police get involved, maybe the kid runs away, either way this song is triumphant. The evil entity that stole his childhood and innocence has been defeated.

Cannibals

This song is slightly different from the rest. It works as a form of victory lap after the defeat of the mother figure, but also as an intermission since it lies smack dab in the middle of the album, and finally as a transitionary song from childhood to adulthood. Is a time skip, we get to see the person grow up in fast forward as the THX song hits its crescendo. This song also makes it perfectly clear that, even though she was left behind, the mental scars that the mother left are still there and still fresh and still very much stopping them from sleeping “She drives me crazy

And I can't help myself”.

The outsiders

This works as a way to recontextualize us in the life of the character as an adult. Our so called “feature presentation”. It is not altogether clear who these people being introduced are. They could be the people who came to mean something in this persons life as they grew up after trauma, probably multiple foster homes, social workers, friends, bosses, co workers, etc. the fact that they are being enumerated dissapasionatly could indicate how most of his social relationships were basically a meaningless blur for him who grew up socially distant due to trauma. It could also represent the multiple roles that our character was forced to take as they grew up and the multiple things that went through his mind or meant something. There is clearly some desperate attempts to recapture their lost childhood as figures such as “inspector gadget” or “the ninja turtles part three” are named. The song is a fast montage of views and places. That prepares us for the next song.

Johnny

We finally zoom in and take a good look at our main character as an adult. A sad, pathetic figure, hurt and lonely, possibly not very well liked and certainly not respected as we hear boos all around. Despite all this the character is clearly committing themselves to be a good person, to not hurt others like he was hurt and specifically to not commit the same crimes that their mother commited.

Closerflies & Nightmovin

These two songs might as well work as a single piece since they are both more or less about the same thing. We reiterate how this person has been turned into an insomniac due to the trauma that they experienced as a child “When I'm far too tired to fall asleep”. They are delirious and barely coherent, possibly hallucinating as they think about their life in bed. This is clearly hell on earth and it seems like its just never going to stop “Can't wake up in a sweat

'Cause it ain't over yet” but, with neil’s classic sense of humor, the song immediately ends.

Now that could just be for the sake of irony but there is also another level in which it could be read. This suffering stops because something suddenly changes in this person’s life. What could that be?

Whitehouse

“I fell in love with a girl”

As the lyrics say, the main character met someone special and they are deeply in love. But also, because of the past that weighs heavily on him, he is very trepidatious about wether to go on with the relationship or not. He knows he is damaged goods and he doesnt want to drag her down as well, these fears make it so he never fully opens up to her about his issues “She turns and says, "Are you alright?" I said, "I must be fine because my heart's still beating."

Wah

The use of “war” by edwin starr is a clever reference about how everything is fair in love and war. Now this song is an important departure since it is sung from the point of view of the girl our main character fell in love with. She is a feisty woman who is very clearly trying to establish the terms of the relationship and demanding her partner to open up which the main character, due to his insecurities, takes as a declaration of war and which he deflects by playing dumb, hence the repeated use of the silly “WAH” by wario.

Pee Wee Inc

The emotional distance from the man is putting a strain in the relationship, so what once was supposed to “feel good” is now this melancholic and unbearable situation. Is no mistake that the song sampled here is “the breakfast machine” from pee wee’s big adventure. After all a neglected partner can feel like a breakfast machine, an object that is there just to make your breakfast. On top of this you can see that the insomnia hasnt gone away “My dreams, they got a kissing 'cause I don't get to sleep, no”. In a lot of ways the girlfriend is feeling used as just a relief from the man’s suffering but not as someone who is being truly loved.

1000 spoons

We go back to the woman’s perspective. At first it just seems like a simple melancholic situation where she is sad the relationship is not working, but then we see the woman have a full mental breakdown as the song changes and becomes much more deranged and we get to see what is really happening. The man ran away on their wedding day. This is represented by the lyrics “is like rain on your wedding day” because it means the wedding has been ruined. She is heartbroken by this.

Mouth dreams (extro)

Appropriately as the previous song talked about a wedding being ruined by “rain” this song begins with the sound of rain. This is the big emotional climax of the story, the music at its most dramatic. Now i will admit, even for me this is a stretch, im willing to concede most of what i am about to say is essentially built out of whole cloth and me wanting to fit a neat full narrative into this album where there is none, but hey, what is art for?

Essentially the man is about to commit suicide, possibly by jumping off a bridge in the rain as suggested by the song being sampled “drowning”. The fact that this song is named after the album is a way to signify how everything that we have just seen weighs heavily on the man’s heart, his whole life, his memories, his trauma, and he is finally ready to end it all. He jumps.

But at the last second his wife jumps after him and drags him to the shore, the last we see is her trying to perform mouth to mouth resuscitation, as indicated by the song,”love me mouth to mouth now…” he is unconscious and presumably finally sleeping peacefully (maybe dead?) “...cover me with dreams, yeah”.

It might look like he will not survive, as implied by the sinister version of all star encroaching over the song. But as it looks like all hope is lost he finally WAKES UP.

In a way this song is also when we finally catch up with the start of the album where we saw the man desperately hollering for human contact and merely echos responding, except now someone finally answered, and he is finally ready to open up and share his story.

Brithoven

Even though this song is sung by a single person i choose to take it as a dialog between the couple, both of them sharing their regrets about their relationship with each other, her recriminating the fact that she couldnt have known what he was going through “oh baby bay, how was i supposed to know, that something wasnt right here” and him finally admitting that he needs help “My loneliness is killing me”.

Finally they both agree to try it again and give their relationship a second chance “hit me baby one more time”

Ain’t

Part of me is conflicted about this song, i kind of want to disregard it, mainly because i think its kind of a weird way to end an album and also because i just dont feel is a very good mashup really. The lyrics dont mix that well with the song, they are paced in an inconsistent way and overall feel like they never truly click. On top of that it just doesnt fit at all with the narrative that i have been building during this analysis.

There is talk about alcoholism and parent abandoment, this time by the father, a figure that was never mentioned during the album. The last line says “say it aint so” which doesnt particularly seem to reflect on any of the themes i’ve been building upon. Ultimately i think i will just leave it besides and be content that i managed to fit almost all of the album into one story, this process was never meant to be a perfect dissection of the carefully planned story that neil deliberately crafted but rather me having fun seeing pictures in a rorshach test.

So anyway that was Mouth dreams, let me know what you thought.

#mouth sounds #mouth silence #mouth moods #mouth dreams #neil cicierega #music

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littleeyesofpallas · 4 years

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Bleach - Name Games

Continuing with the zanpakutou posts... One that seemed to get broadly misinterpreted is,

Katen Kyokotsu(花天狂骨)

...written as 花: “Flower,” 天: “Heaven,” 狂: “Madness,” and 骨: “Bone.” Viz translated this as "Flower-Heaven Bone of Madness," and later changed it to “Flower Crazed Heaven Bone Spirit.” But what I keep seeing overlooked is that Kyoukotsu(狂骨) is the name of a youkai; a white haired elderly man emerging from a well to act upon a grudge, cursing people who would drink from its well. (It’s also a homonym with the word for Kyoukotsu(胸骨) “Sternum” written “Breast”+”Bone” which is played on in Kyokotsu’s design for the anime as a skull-clad busty woman.) “Bone-Spirit” actually does seem like it’s referring to the youkai, but then it scrambles up all the other adjectives and nouns.

Kyoukotsu(狂骨) is also a slang term in some regions for someone in a state of looking wild and and in noisy disarray --which basically refers to either a a mentally unstable person, or a raucous drunkard. I think the logic in that might have to do with the idea of the Kyoukotsu cursing its well, and the idea that a belligerent or gibbering drunk being that way from having drank something evil... i.e. from a cursed well? Given the nature of zanpakutou as reflections of their wielders’ inner-selves and Kyouraku’s disposition as a frivolous drinker, it may have been meant to imply a darker side to that.

I’ll be honest, I can’t tell if Katen is supposed to evoke “A Flower (from) Heaven” or “A Heaven (made/full of) Flowers.” They more or less imply the same tone, but it’s the difference between a singular item or a whole landscape. The only more specific phraseology I can find that would point in one direction over any other is katengecchi(花天月地) which refers to a scene of flowers blooming in moonlight, and kind of makes me lean more toward the landscape imagery of a field of flowers so beautiful that it is like heaven. But I don’t know that those terms are even really related.

Together, at least to me, it seems to give off the impression of getting sloppy drunk in a field of flowers, which seems pretty in line with his general vibe.

But adding to these themes, his release call is notably longer than most, and appears to be specifically split up into one call for each of his two identical swords (and Ukitake’s the same, but noticeably Ukitake’s sword can’t be interpreted as two different names, like what they did with Katen and Kyoukotsu). These and Ukitake’s, more than any other zanpakutou calls, and more like the hadou spells, lean into Kubo’s affinity for poetry --something he also indulges in in his tankobon poems.

花風紊れて, 花神啼き: “Flower-Wind* in disarray, Flower-spirit(s) call out/cry/wail”

*I think... think... maybe... this is supposed to be an abbreviated form of Kachou-Fuugetsu(花鳥風月), written “Flower, Bird, Wind, Moon” which is a term used in classical Japanese art to refer to “the beauty of nature” as subject matter. It doesn’t have to literally include Flowers, Birds, the Wind, or the Moon. Basically, it just refers to a nature scene meant to display the beauty of nature (as opposed to being a slice of life or a strictly historical depiction, or other non-aesthetic-primary focus.)

Also the construction Kashin(花神) here written as “Flower kami*” doesn’t seem to refer to a specific deity, but worth noting is that it’s a homonym with Kashin(歌神): the kami* of Waka and of song --Waka being a traditional Japanese form of poetry, which are also sometimes translated as “muse” if that gives you a better sense of what they are. Functionally they are closely related, because it’s the spirit of nature that inspire poetry/song about the beauty of said nature. Moreover, as discussed previously, Shunsui has a distinct theme of both flowers and of music, so both feel kind of relevant here.

*I feel like this is kind of a Japanese mythos 101 thing to point out, but if you’re not aware, Shinto being an animist religion means they believe in an innate spirit in basically all things. The word kami does not mean “god,” it refers broadly to that innate spirit that all things possess. The most powerful kami are analogous to gods in other religions, but a kami’s only real definitive quality is that it is a spirit and that is exists... the spirit of a flower has no power nor grand design nor will, nor any other quality that would make sense attributing to what we call a “god” in the West. But that doesn’t make it any less a kami.

Also the naki(啼き) here is the same root as the nake(啼け) that Urahara and Benihime uses. It can, in this context, read like “yelps” or “wails” or even “screams” but all in the tone of, “cries of distress.” (As opposed to quiet weeping; it’s “cry” as in the sound, not the tears.)

Also it’s kinds awkward but the verb midarete(紊れて) is the conjunctive form of the verb “to disturb” but I don’t know how to say that in English without throwing a lot of extra words into it, and I didn’t want to imply that there were more words and their implicit meaning involved.

And then...

天風紊れて, 天魔嗤う: “Heaven-Wind in disarray, Tenma* laughs/sneers/ridicules”

I feel like “Heavenly Wind” here is supposed to refer to something more specific than just the two words mashed together, but I can’t really find anything that clarifies this for me... But my first assumption is that like kamikaze(神風) “Divine Wind” it’s meant to describe a favorable wind, sent to protect or relieve someone in need; hence it being “spoiled,” “thrown about,” or “dispersed” being a bad thing, in the same tone as the Flower-Wind phrase above. It’s the same verb, but i feel like “disarray” of something like “a wind” doesn’t visualize clearly.

And the specific term Kamikaze went from a general term to a specific title to refer to the two notable historic typhoons that coincidentally sank invading Mongolian fleets in the 13th century. For their immense power and convenient timing they were attributed to acts of the divine defending Japan. In turn it’s why the Japanese kamikaze pilots of WWII were so named.

*Tenma is the Japanese name of the Hindu Mara, of Buddhist mythos. He is a kind of temptor figure presiding over both lust and desire as well as hesitation and fear such that they interfere with a buddhist's ability to meditate, focus, and adhere to their virtues. In particular he's responsible for having tempted Siddharta Gautama Buddha with beautiful women. (in some iterations said to be the deva's own daughters.)

Yes, it’s the same Mara as the SMT franchise, but the giant penis monster Mara isn’t based on any real mythology, it’s actually a pun on the Japanese Mara(摩羅), written as “chafe/rub/polish/grind (against) thin-silk,” and used as a term meaning “obstacle to Buddhist practice” in accordance with the actual Hindu Mara’s role in mythology. I’ll be honest though, I don’t know if the construction is supposed to reference masturbation or dry humping. Maybe both?

So, trying to work all this into something a little more readable in English, what I think the overall vibe of this is, is...

“The-Beauty-of-Nature is being thrown into disarray, and the Flower-spirits wail; Saving-Graces aren’t going to arrive, and ‘The Devil’ laughs(mockingly).”

The theme here is that the beauty of nature suffers, a heavenly blessing is interrupted, and a demonic figure laughs at it: There’s nothing to sing about, there’s no relief, the tempter wins. It’s actually a little weird because thematically it feels very much the opposite of what his shikai actually does. I feel like he wanted Shunsui using his shikai to be that moment of serious-ing up, but by the time he came back around to actually using it, he wanted to keep Shunsui’s powers more in line with his personality and save the change of mood for his big bankai reveal instead. but we’ll get to that in a bit...

For context, Kyouraku Shunsui’s own name reading as “Capital(City) Music, Flower Water” points to his lazy personality: he’s a big city type who’s all about lounging and luxury and sweet indulgences. So, his sword release by contrast is those declaration that playtime is over, Kyoraku is done being lazy.

Broadly speaking I never really liked Masashi Kudou’s anime-original designs for most of Bleach’s filler arcs, other than just not really aesthetically fitting with Kubo’s design sensibilities(all Kudou’s designs look like bad cosplay with big swatched of empty solid space, flat colors, no color balance, and no implicit weight or texture) they don’t really gel with most of their names and themes, but Katen Kyoukotsu in particular got kind of tragically reduced to a generic waifu design. I honestly really hate that Kubo went and ran with that design for Shunsui’s bankai.

And speaking of bankai...

Karamatsu Shinjuu(枯松心中)

is tacked onto the end of the same name as the shikai to make the new bankai name. Kara(枯) and matsu(松) just read as “Withered/Withering PineTree.” Fun fact: when chapter 647 first ran in Weekly JUMP, the title was Kuromatsu(黒松) which is the specific species of “Japanese Black Pine,” Pinus thunbergii, which is the specific iconic tree used in Noh theatre.

And Shinjuu(心中) is written as “heart”/”mind” and “inside,” meaning “inner thoughts/feelings” but in the context of the bankai’s theatre theme refers to a “double suicide”/“lover’s suicide.“ It’s a theme in classical Japanese theatre and literature (but notably in Japanese puppet theatre) that when lovers, or sometimes parents and children are unable to live together due to social restrictions, they will tragically but nobly opt to die together with the expectation that they will be reunited either in the afterlife or in the next life via reincarnation.

I like the idea behind his powers and the progression of forcing people to play by the rules of children’s games, to forcing people to play by the “rules” of theatre plots. But I was surprised his bankai didn’t come with the drawback of forcing himself to abide the same limitations: they both get sick together, they both drown together, they both hang themselves, etc... The initial scene’s power walked right into this, but then the effect disappeared with the subsequent scenes...

All in all there’s just a lot going on in these names despite how little most of it ever really got addressed or elaborated on in the series. Like a lot of stuff that got sort of awkwardly shoehorned into the final arc it feels like it wasn’t really played out to its fullest potential, but it’s still a super cool assortment of themes and motifs to think about.

#bleach #Shunsui Kyoraku #katen kyokotsu

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imaginaryelle · 4 years

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Turnabout and Start Again

Part 8

(aka, the soulmates role-reversal au)

Note: My knowledge of meridians, qi, acupuncture and traditional Chinese medicine is based on incomplete personal research and wuxia tropes, and I am very likely to have gotten some things wrong in my presentation of the concepts Wen Qing uses in this chapter. I’m working mostly on the idea that this is a fantasy world based on a fantasy genre with some real world connections, and so accuracy is not my primary concern, but if I got something completely wrong, or present ideas in a way that is unintentionally offensive, I am happy to learn and edit in corrections.

Thanks again to @morphia-writes and @miyuki4s for the continued beta help!

They find Wen Qing tending to simmering pots of medicine outside a large, airy building that Wei Ying describes as part infirmary, part training hall. Three disciples are fanning smoldering embers and sorting fresh herbs under her direction, and the sunny courtyard smells so strongly of bitter tonics and woodsmoke that Lan Wangji has to swallow back a cough.

Wei Ying pauses just outside the arc of tables and stoves and lowers his voice to a murmur.

“Wen Qing is trustworthy,” he says, “but if you don’t want to share your identity—”

“It’s fine.”

“—I know you didn’t tell Zewu-jun so I can probably—what?” Wei Ying blinks at him.

“You trust Wen Qing.” It’s barely a question—the strength of their relationship is evident in how Wei Ying speaks of her—but Wei Ying takes it seriously.

“With my life. With—with anyone’s life.” he promises, so readily Lan Wangji cannot doubt him.

“And you believe she can help with the curse.”

“I hope she can,” Wei Ying looks over his shoulder at her. “She’s very good. I told you she saved Zixuan-jiefu and Shijie—if you remember—”

Lan Wangji could not have forgotten. The image of the Jin heir, pallid and barely breathing with the glow of a soulbond spilling out of his open chest, is one that haunted his dreams in the days he spent searching for Wei Ying afterward. Thirteen years past by the calendar; only months ago in his memories.

“She knows more about spiritual energy than anyone else I’ve met,” Wei Ying is saying, moving his hands for emphasis.

“You trust her,” Lan Wangji repeats. “I will trust her.”

“You—okay.” Wei Ying blushes. He turns away and strides quickly across the courtyard and Lan Wangji can see the flush moving to his ears and down his neck. It’s distracting enough that Lan Wangji misses the start of their conversation, caught trailing a few steps behind and unable to look away.

“We have a schedule,” Wen Qing is saying. “We have appointments for people who aren’t actively bleeding. What’s so urgent that you’re ignoring all that?”

Wei Ying pouts, which clearly only makes Wen Qing more annoyed. “His spiritual power’s been damaged,” he says. “I thought you’d be interested.”

She manages to stare down her nose at him, despite the difference in their heights. She looks Lan Wangji up and down. He bows.

“I apologize for the imposition.”

“It’s not your fault,” she says, shooting another glare at Wei Ying. Then she sighs. “I’ll meet you inside in a moment.”

Wei Ying grins, and bows, and drags Lan Wangji up the building’s steps. Wen Qing’s workspace is simply decorated and smells of incense, with only the faintest whiffs of the courtyard’s activities seeping through. The room is lined with bookshelves and divided cleanly into a study space, complete with three long desks, and an examination area, screened off from general view. Wei Ying guides him to the private side of a standing screen painted with willow trees and urges him to sit.

“Someone will bring tea soon,” he says, settling on a nearby cushion. “Not like your last visit. We can actually afford guests now. Wen Qing’s medicines are a much better source of income than radishes.”

Almost anything would be, Lan Wangji is certain. It had been—unpleasant, to realize the depths of Wei Ying’s poverty at that time. Sleeping in a cave that smelled of death without even the cheapest of teas to ward off the damp chill.

He wonders, again, what might have happened if he had stayed at Wei Ying’s side after that visit. If he had not let himself be convinced that his presence was only one more burden on people already carrying too much weight; if he had known his own mind well enough, then, to stand and lend open support before disaster fell on all their heads once more. How much difference might those months have made? Would his brother have understood? What would his clan have done then, if he had acted before all hope was lost?

Such speculation can only lead to further unhappiness. He is about to ask if Yiling-Wei also collects payment for nighthunts, as most Sects do, or sells talismans, when a young apprentice arrives with tea. Wen Qing is only a few steps behind her. Her attention lands on Wei Ying again.

“Don’t you have better things to do than bother my patients?”

“I want him here,” Lan Wangji says before Wei Ying can respond. Perhaps the interjection will be taken as rudeness, but Wei Ying can explain the curse much better than Lan Wangji himself would. No other reason for desiring Wei Ying’s presence must be stated.

Wen Qing sighs in the face of Wei Ying’s too-innocent smile, but does not comment further.

“I am Wen Qing,” she says after the tea has been served and the apprentice dismissed. “As Wei-zongzhu has likely already told you, since he can’t be bothered to make proper introductions.”

“I ...” Lan Wangji hesitates, pressing his lips tight together. “We have met before,” he clarifies. “I am Lan Wangji.”

Wen Qing hardly even blinks at him; her gaze shifts immediately to Wei Ying.

“It’s true.” Wei Ying looks earnest and sincere. He pulls the array drawing from a qiankun pouch. “He knows things only Lan Zhan would know. The original owner of that body was called Liang Feihong, but he gave it up.”

“You’re certain?” Wen Qing asks, her stare unwavering.

“Completely.” Wei Ying assures her. He does not mention the soul bond.

“Hm.” Wen Qing studies the array. “This is unfinished,” she observes, tapping the paper.

“But you can see the shape.” Wei Ying leans into her space, against her shoulder, tracing over the drawing, as if they do this often. Perhaps they do. There are probably many ways arrays and talismans can be used to promote healing. Lan Wangji makes himself drink more tea; it is fresh and green and light on his tongue.

“Exchange,” Wei Ying is saying. “One soul spent to make room for another, in return for service. In this case, revenge. It’s designed for a vengeful spirit, but Liang Feihong called Hanguang-jun instead.”

Wen Qing stares down at the paper. “You’ve never mentioned this ritual before,” she says after a long moment of silence.

Wei Ying shrugs. “It’s ancient. I found it when I was working on Wen Ning, but it usually fails. I haven't thought about it in—” his eyes flicker over Lan Wangji’s face, “—years.”

Wen Qing stares hard at him. “You said you were going night hunting.”

“I was, I did,” Wei Ying stares back, unblinking, and Lan Wangji is no longer sure he’s following the conversation. “It was only a night hunt,” Wei Ying insists. “Lan Zhan found us last night. He walked for three days.”

Still, Wen Qing watches him.

“Is there a problem?” Lan Wangji asks.

“No.” Wen Qing returns her attention to him. “Tell me how your spiritual power was damaged.” She holds out her left hand for his wrist. Her hand is cool on his skin.

He looks to Wei Ying as her fingers find his pulse, but Wei Ying just nods at him, apparently unworried by the tension that has filled the room, that can still be seen in the stern lines of Wen Qing’s posture. He does his best to answer the question despite the feeling that he’s missed something important.

“I believe it was a talisman. There is also a curse mark, from the ritual.”

Wei Ying produces the talisman and sets it beside the drawing of the array, But Wen Qing is frowning at Lan Wangji’s wrist.

“Tell me about the curse’s effects.” She shakes her head to forestall Wei Ying’s words. “The effects you have experienced,” she clarifies, to Lan Wangji.

“It drains spiritual power.” That much he knows to be entirely true. “I believe my physical weakness is due to imprisonment and inconsistent training.” Liang Feihong left the Lan Sect nearly fifteen years ago, after all.

Wen Qing drops his wrist, her fingers moving to his middle dantian and then to his face. She turns his head gently, and then drops her hands to her lap and studies the talisman.

“It’s not only the curse,” she says after a moment. “Your core’s been damaged. Not by this,” she gestures at the talisman. “This can only produce temporary effects. Something else.”

Wei Ying leans forward, suddenly intent. “Damaged? Not—”

“Not destroyed,” Wen Qing shakes her head. “But it will take time and effort to restore it, and the curse will complicate the process. It will be difficult to re-establish the proper energy flow.”

“But it can be done,” Wei Ying presses, concern clear on his face. Wen Qing nods.

Lan Wangji says nothing. He has known, since his first investigations on the first day of this new life, that if this body had ever formed a golden core it wasn’t functioning properly. A damaged core is a better prospect than no core at all, but he again feels like there is some piece of information he’s missing, carried in the weight of Wei Ying’s concern and the careful calm of Wen Qing’s words.

“I will prepare medicines and teas to aid the process,” Wen Qing continues. “And I would like to conduct a more thorough examination, if you’re willing.”

Lan Wangji nods. He has no reason to refuse, and could gain much from her expertise.

The examination lasts over an hour, through to a light lunch and then after, and involves more needles, talismans and salves than Lan Wangji has ever before experienced in such close succession. Wen Qing inspects the wounds in his palm as well as the curse mark itself, and produces new ointments and bandages for each, and another of Wei Ying’s talismans for the curse mark, before moving on to other, more obscure avenues of investigation. Wei Ying stays for all of it, sometimes talking out theories and suggestions from the other side of the privacy screen, sometimes scribbling notes at Wen Qing’s desk.

“The curse’s caster is dead,” he says, waggling an ink-wet brush between his fingers, “but could the curse be transferred?”

“No.” Wen Qing doesn’t even open her eyes to answer. The spiritual power she feeds into Lan Wangji’s wrist, apparently meant to help her better map the damage to his core, never wavers.

Wei Ying frowns. “Most curses—”

Wen Qing frowns, too, a furrow appearing between her brows. “This links to soul as well as body and spirit. Even if it could be transferred, I wouldn’t help you do it.”

“Not even if it was transferred to the curse’s target?” Wei Wuxian asks.

“Not even then,” Wen Qing says. She sighs and releases Lan Wangji’s wrist. “I need to see to my apprentices, and I have another patient soon.” She meets Lan Wangji’s eyes. “Come back in the morning. I should have more for you then.”

He nods.

“Don’t stress him in the meantime,” she adds, pinning Wei Ying in place with a look.

“Of course, of course,” Wei Ying assures her as he rises to his feet and stretches theatrically. “Only the best of hospitality for Lan Zhan,” he adds, a smile spreading over his face.

Wen Qing shakes her head, and waves them out the door. Wei Ying continues his tour of the Yiling-Wei grounds, leading Lan Wangji on a winding path past dormitories, and kitchens, and a less martial training hall—“for talisman work and spirit lure flags,” Wei Ying says, “It’s no Lan seminar but we do classes for outsiders sometimes.”

Yiling-Wei is a smaller sect than Gusu-Lan, both in land area and in population, but the grounds are still busy. Lan Wangji cannot help but notice the eyes on them at each new turn. It’s only reasonable; he is a stranger, walking with the Sect Leader, after a night hunt that lasted several days. Wei Ying has not so much as read a letter or spoken with anyone but himself and Wen Qing since they arrived. Lan Wangji has seen his brother’s work, and his uncle’s. This attention cannot last forever. Should not.

“I am keeping you from your duties,” he says as they stand at the edge of an archery range and watch Wen Sizhui and Liu Weixin loose arrow after arrow under Wen Qionglin’s expert tutelage.

“Hm?” Wei Ying seems distracted. Unfocused.

Lan Wangji curls his fingers in his sleeves. He has been selfish enough, taken enough of Wei Ying’s time—nearly a day of it. Wei Ying has more responsibilities now. He cannot spend so much effort on a single visitor.

“Do not let me take your attention away from important matters,” he says.

“What?” For a moment Wei Ying looks as if he will protest, but then he glances away, back to the archery field. His expression smooths to neutrality.

“Right,” he agrees. “I should—show you the library, at least. I know we have a few texts you might find useful.”

The library turns out to be a small pavilion lined with shelves and desks, much like Cloud Recesses’ in design but clearly smaller and holding a less extensive collection of books. The texts Wei Ying means are tucked on a high shelf behind a finely-carved screen, and their contents largely concern either curses or talismans.

“Wen Qing has more on core formation in her study,” Wei Ying says as he sets his half of the stack on a small, almost-secluded table near a window. The charmed covers of the remaining books tingle against Lan Wangji’s uninjured palm. “Not that you need much help there.”

If what Lan Wangji understood from Wen Qing’s examination is true, repairing his core will be a very different process from forming one new, but he does not correct Wei Ying.

“Is there anything else you need?” Wei Ying asks, as a good host should. “I’ll ask the kids in the practice yard to try and keep their voices down, I know it’s louder here than Cloud Recesses...”

“It will be fine,” Lan Wangji assures him.

“I’ll—see you at dinner then,” Wei Ying says, and bows, more formal than the situation demands. Lan Wangji returns the gesture, books still in-hand, and tells himself Wei Ying will not vanish to smoke and mist as soon as he leaves Lan Wangji’s sight. That he will be easy to find again, here in his home, among friends. That Lan Wangji has no right to demand even more of him.

Wei Ying hesitates another moment, then leaves. Lan Wangji watches him go and thinks again of that flush on the back of his neck. On his cheeks. Wei Ying hadn’t blushed when he hid pornography in Lan Wanji’s books at sixteen, or when he held Lan Wangji’s forehead ribbon in his hand at seventeen, or when he threatened to take off his clothes in the Xuanwu’s cave.

It’s difficult to imagine that a simple statement, alone, could make him flush after so many years. But it did.

Lan Wangji sits at his appointed desk and opens the first text with careful fingers, and does his best to block out everything but the words on the page before him. The readings are, indeed, informative, and several of them document Wei Ying’s own studies into curse formation and removal; there is an entire treatise on the hundred-holes curse alone, though it is almost entirely theoretical. The curse is too rare, Wei Ying notes, and too costly for both victim and caster, for frequent or multiple experiments. Such is likely also true for the curse Lan Wangji himself bears, but the texts at least reassure him that following Wei Ying was the correct choice for more reasons than the pull of his heart.

It’s Zhou Xiuying who summons him to dinner, guiding him to a seat at Wen Qing’s table before joining her wife on the other side of a loud and crowded communal dining room. The dishes set before him are heavy with lotus root and mushrooms alongside roasted pork, and, he notes, heavily spiced. Wei Ying does not arrive at the evening meal until Wen Qionglin leaves to fetch him, and he settles down at the crowded table with a sigh, slipping onto the cushion next to Wen Sizhui and across from Lan Wangji.

“Why aren’t you all eating already,” he asks, as if it is not obvious they were waiting for him.

“You’re late,” Wen Qing informs him, adding fried lotus and mushrooms to his bowl even as he serves himself meat and soup stained red with chilies.

“Wei-zongzhu should eat on time,” Wen Qionglin asserts. There is no bowl before him, though he holds a pair of chopsticks. A fierce corpse does not need to eat. He adds lotus to Wen Sizhui’s bowl, and then Wen Qing adds stir-fried greens and then Wei Ying adds pork, proclaiming that the boy needs regular meals far more than he does, and a sudden pang strikes deep into Lan Wangji’s chest.

He serves himself from the milder-looking dishes. It’s pointless to be jealous of Wen Qing and Wen Qionglin’s places at Wei Ying’s side, and in his heart. Of the easy, well-trod patterns and open affection Wei Ying gives them. It’s pointless, but that knowledge doesn’t stop the sour swell of frustration and ill-feeling within him.

He pushes the feeling away. He is a guest. They are being much kinder than simple hospitality requires. He eats in silence—the food is not unpalatable, as he feared, and he cannot tell if it is due to the actual flavor or if Liang Feihong was more used to such things—and he listens in silence as Wei Ying talks and laughs, lit up the way he used to be, before the Sunshot War. Several times, that beaming smile is turned on him, paired with questions about the food, or his reading, and offers of new dishes tomorrow, despite his protests that he needs no such special treatment. But still, Wei Ying is guarded with him in a way he is not with the rest of the table. It is strange to hear ‘Liang-gongzi’ fall from his lips again, instead of Lan Wangji’s name.

Eventually, he retires to his guest quarters. It’s only then, as he prepares to sleep in an unfamiliar room decorated with red and black instead of white and blue, that he realizes the knot of feeling in his chest is not the same emotion he thought it was. Or not entirely.

It has been more than three months since he shared a meal with his brother, or a conversation with his uncle, and before that he was holding his blade against them. The thought that he doesn’t even know whether his uncle is alive—that he might never speak to him again—hits him like an arrow, a flash of remembered pain from wounds he no longer bears. In its wake, the knowledge: If he cannot find answers, or stabilize the curse, he may never speak with his brother again either.

For a timeless moment he is hollow and grasping white-knuckled at his robes, his ears ringing and his breath caught in this throat. But he has already made this choice. He chose Wei Ying. If this is the consequence he must bear, so be it.

Slowly, the faint sounds of the night outside his room penetrate his senses once more, and he calms.

Rest. Meditation. His body and spirit need both. In the morning he will resume his training, and meet with Wen Qing, and confront the problem of Jin Guangyao’s crimes with clear vision.

(on to part 9)

#wangxian #mo dao zu shi #mdzs #mdzs fic #wangxian fic #turnabout verse #soulmates au #role reversal au #alex writes #the whole thing is also on ao3 #link for that soon #or in the older parts

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kateyandthecloset · 4 years

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Sect Bound . aaron hotchner [2.8]

Annabel Bradey hovered at her door for a moment; she was waiting for Aaron to enter his office before she left the comfort of hers. Having been well aware of the man's professionalism in the work place, she knew that he wouldn't seek out the conversation in the Bureau, but that didn't mean the conversation wouldn't arise in hushed voices if they happened to cross paths before the day was over. For that reason, Annabel wasn't leaving her office unless it was a dire necessity, much like coffee was in that moment. If she were to contact each of the people on her list and still leave at a sensible time, she needed coffee to keep her functioning.

It was funny for Annabel, to find herself craving the stimulant during a regular day. For a decade, she had drunk nothing of the sort, the compound she had lived in preaching minimalism in the material world. It wasn't a Calvinist group but it appeared that way to the external eye. She had given away all material possessions when she had entered the church, all except her crucifix, Gabriel had allowed her to keep that.

The times she caught herself thinking about Gabriel Martyr were decreasing rapidly as the weeks progressed. She no longer saw his face when she went to sleep, nor did she become confused when she awoke, and he wasn't beside her. If only she had the faith that they could apprehend him without risking the lives of the other members of the church, then she could allow herself to find a way to never think about him again. However, her allegiance lied with the people who had done nothing wrong except fall for the same faulty knowledge that she had.

Her eyes followed Aaron as he left the desk where Derek was filling out a field report for the last case. The identical form was sat on her desk, waiting to be given to the Unit Chief. In that form she had detailed the ways that she had broken protocol, despite the team having reassured her that she had simply done what her gut said was right, but she also carefully explained what she would do if she were in an identical situation again. She wouldn't have remained in the car, but she would have ensured she was wearing a vest before entering into a potentially dangerous and lethal situation.

Turning back to the office, Annabel took the report from her desk holding it to her chest. She was entering a potentially dangerous and lethal situation, so she crossed the bullpen to Aaron's office her protective armour secured with a smile.

Knocking on the door gently, Annabel took a breath as he called for her to enter. There was a happiness in his eyes before they caught sight of the form in her hands, then the light fell, and his usual studious expression became fixed to his face. She knew that the loss of light was her own fault, for having a backup if she became too afraid to have the conversation that she knew was inevitable. That was what caused her to become adamant now was the time she spoke to him, if she didn't then, if he was feeling the same knot in his stomach as she was, she would be prolonging it for him. She couldn't do that to him, no matter how much she would to herself.

Timidly, Annabel crosses the office, stating, "I have the field report."

"Can you put it with the others." Aaron replied, gesturing the pile of paperwork on furthest corner of his desk. She nodded, taking herself further into the room, ignoring the pounding of her heart.

Having placed the report with the others, straightening both the pile and the placement, she froze contemplating changing her mind once more. However, she knew that putting this off was no longer an option, not for her and not for Aaron.

Annabel moved to join Aaron behind his desk, resting on the wood beside him. She let out a sigh, watching as he finished signing his name before he leaned back in the chair. From where he was sat, Aaron had to look up to meet her gaze.

"So, last night," the ginger spoke, her voice as soft as it was when she had been talking to the Delilly family earlier in the week. She had paused slightly, as if confused on how to phrase her point, but soon she settled on, "Last night happened."

"Last night happened." Aaron repeated, pulling his gaze away from her. While he held no regret for the previous night, he didn't know how she felt. If he had to see the regret flash across her eyes, he wouldn't be able to concentrate on the words he knew he had to say.

Before Aaron could add to his statement, Annabel had chuckled, "I'm glad we clarified that."

"I don't regret it." The Unit Chief stated, catching the woman off guard. Her mouth opened and closed multiple times as if she were unable to form the words she wanted to say vocally. "I don't need to know whether you do, I just needed you to know that I didn't."

Annabel nodded her head, letting out a slight breath before replying, "I didn't. I have done a lot of things I regret, and, besides the fact that I thought I could wear a turtle neck and not get questioned by Garcia, I don't regret anything that had happened in the last twenty four hours."

"What does that mean?" Aaron asked, his hand resting on her knee, the need for physical contact with her having increased since he had woken up that morning. He had had a taste of something addictive, and he had put up no resistance. He let himself become hooked.

Annabel took his hand in hers, smiling slightly as she stated, "It means that we are slightly more complicated than we were before."

"Do you want to pretend it never happened?" Aaron asked, unsure on whether or not he wanted to hear the answer that left her lips. She may not have regretted the crossing of their boundaries, but that didn't mean that she felt the same way as he did about the situation.

"No," she whispered, moving their hands so that their fingers were intertwined. "But I don't think it should happen again. Not until we've worked out what this is."

Aaron nodded, knowing that she was speaking with intelligence she had gained from experience. Somehow, she had learnt how to separate her head and her heart, using what seemed most suitable to understand a situation. However, as she watched Aaron's hesitant agreement, she wondered whether she had chosen the correct logic to follow.

"I should go and finished calling the families Erin gave me." Annabel declared, breaking the silence that had been created. Having squeezed his hand slightly in reassurance, she whispered, "I'll see you when we're ready to go home."

That was the first time she had called his apartment home without being prompted by his previous referral, which didn't go unnoticed by Aaron. It was that statement that told him that he had to let his heart take control, the way it had the night before. That was why he stopped her before she could leave, standing to take hold of her hand turning her back to face him and pulling her closer to his chest.

His lips met hers, his free hand moving to graze through her hair. She didn't pull away; she simply placed her hand on his chest smiling into the contact of their lips. Neither of them wanted to listen to the screaming of their brains then. They both simply poured their hearts out to each other through the simple movements of their lips, unaware of the money changing hands in the bullpen.

...

Series Taglist: @dr-reid-ismyspiritanimal @l0ve-0f-my-life @theroyalbrownbarbie @fandoms-unite14 @word-scribbless (Message or comment to be added.)

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currantlee · 4 years

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You mentioned awhile back that you think Felix has some autistic traits. I'm curious to know what traits you think he has? And, to make it interesting, how you think that would affect his relationship with Sylvain?

Before I answer that, I want to clarify for people who don’t know me and might read this that I am an autist myself (Aspie to be completely clear), so I know what I am talking about here. Also, please keep in mind it’s a spectrum. No two autists are alike, not in regards of their symptoms or personality. I know several other people with my diagnosis and some of them show symptoms I don’t while others don’t have symptoms I’m showing.

Update as of the current day: it seems that I have been misdiagnosed with Asperger’s and actually suffer from hospitalism (which does have some of the same symptoms as Asperger’s does) due to years of emotional manipulation and abuse from my mother. I sincerely apologize for falsely saying that I have Asperger’s. I didn’t know any better.

Alright, buckle up, because this is going to be a long post.

Felix’ Aspie Traits…

First up, I think Felix shows signs of Asperger’s Syndrome. Americans will likely know this as high-functioning autism, since it’s as far as I know not an official diagnosis in the US (it apparently used to be, but it was merged into autism spectrum a while back). In Europe and Asia however, it still is it’s own diagnosis.

As for the signs of the syndrome Felix shows: the most obvious one is his dislike / inability to make direct eye contact, which he even admits himself. This is a very common trait of especially aspies and everyone has a different way of describing how it makes them feel uncomfortable. I personally find it impossible to focus on what a person actually says if I do make eye contact. That is because making eye contact for too long actually freaks me out a little, for reasons I can’t explain. It’s just… Scary.

Another obvious trait is Felix’s focus, which borders obsession, on swordfighting. You can clearly see that he is hesitant to do anything, unless it benefits his swordsmanship in some way. For example, he asks Byleth why he should learn magic. If they reply that it will benefit his swordsmanship, he will regard that as a good answer. Another example is Flayn asking him to chop wood and vegetables for him. He only does it once she points out how this would serve as a great exercise for him.

This ties in with another thing about him: dissociation. No, I don’t meant the personality disorder. It is merely the process of getting completely absorbed into something (like a task or a daydream). It is a way to deal with all the information that floods our brains because our perception filters don’t work properly.

You can clearly see in several of his supports that Felix gets so lost in training that he doesn’t realize when people try to address him anymore, even if they are standing right next to him, most notably his support with Dorothea.

A less obvious trait is the fact that Felix can possibly not tell if someone is joking or not (and yes, that actually takes me some time as well every time someone in that game jokes). While he plays it off with his snarky attitude, which makes it seem like he is simply annoyed, there is more than a few examples in which he takes a joke deadly serious. An indicator for that is that Sylvain is always quick to tell him that he was joking with something, possibly because he knows how hard it is for Felix to recognize a joke (I mean, it is kind of obvious if you have grown up with an Aspie even if you didn’t know they have this condition - at least I have been told so by a childhood friend of mine). Yes, he does it with others as well, but he is never as quick with it as he is with Felix.

This also shows in the fact that he is unable to understand metaphors. A great example of this can be found in his support with Bernadetta, wherein she tries to explain him why she isn’t scared of him anymore by telling him that ghosts are only scary because you can’t see or talk to them (however that is supposed to explain it…). Felix immediately mistakes this for Bernadetta thinking he is a ghost.

A far less noticable result of this trait is the fact that he tries to make sense of anything. While this may not be seen as a result immediatly, let me explain. Aspies have two ways of dealing with their natural non-understanding of social stuff. They either back off and isolate themselves (mostly children do that) because they are scared or they start to observe and ask questions.

In Felix’s support with Annette for example, Annette just sings something because she feels like it. Felix however immediately tries to find the logic behind her lyrics, questioning them because they don’t make any sense to him (since he doesn’t understand Annette is just singing for fun and not trying to put a message into her lyrics).

This also shows how Felix finds it difficult to empathize with others. Unless something is very clearly explained to him, he just can’t make sense of it because his brain works different from others. Another example for this is his support with Lysithea: when he catches her eating cake, he just thinks nothing about it. Lysithea however immediately starts interpreting his reaction (like… “Normal” people do this so often and I cannot state how confusing and annoying I find this) and thinks he might go tell everyone. Therefore she gives him the cake in an attempt to keep him from doing so (even when Felix never intended that), which is something he finds absolutely confusing. First up, he doesn’t understand why she thinks he’s going to tell everyone (showing that Felix has no idea how a complex social concept like reputation works) and second, he doesn’t understand why she gives him the cake and assumes she wants to annoy him. Which is not the case: to Lysithea, her cake is something really important, even precious. That is why she gives it to him and it is also why she tries to teach him the value of cake later on. Anyone else, even if they hate cake, would probably acknowledge this gesture as something very sweet.

Another thing this support also shows is how Felix also has problems adapting to a new, sudden situation. He absolutely refuses to try her cake, which she made for him and him only. I mean, he gives in eventually, but before that he is pretty insistent. I know he doesn’t like sweet stuff, but out of being polite, anyone else would probably at least have it given a try without all the arguing. While this is also a good example for how Felix doesn’t understand the concept of politeness (I mean, he is very blunt anyways), it also shows how he finds it hard to adapt to new situations. I mean, he probably tried cake before, but never Lysithea’s cake. Also, she made it specially for him, so she probably thought about how he doesn’t like sweets.

Speaking of politeness though: I often hear that all Aspies / autists in general are very, very polite. This is not true though. Many of us are indeed more polite than “normal” people because first, basic rules of politeness (like not talking with your mouth full of food) is something you can easily learn. Most autists will be happy to, because those rules are actually very, very clear and not open to interpretation. It means it is something we can easily do right. Some other basics (like you don’t tackle people in the subway) are also something that comes naturally because… Ever tried tackling an autist? Please don’t.

However, as I mentioned before, it is a spectrum. Not every autist is alike. There are also enough autists who do either question or not understand those rules. As for bluntness… I think almost every autist will agree that we don’t get lying for the sake of being polite. Which results in the famous pointing out how terrible you friend’s new hairstyle looks (and not even understanding what you did). Felix’s bluntness is similar to that.

Felix is also shown to not interpret additional meanings into words and therefore come up with unconventional things in his support with Ingrid: aside from the fact that he leaves early (another example of him being unable to understand social rules as long as no one explains them), he suggests stuff like stealing the enemy’s horses (which is actually a logical thing to do), meaning something outside of the battlefield. Everyone else apparently assumes they are talking about strategies on the battlefield, when actually only strategy in general is mentioned.

There is something I want to make clear about all of this: autists, and it doesn’t matter if high-functioning or not, are not dumb. They simply lack the instincutal knowledge about social interaction normal people have.

A little quirk: Aspies tend to collect things, even if it is absolutely senseless or even very, very strange from a rational perspective, even to themselves. For example, I know someone who actually collects DLCs, including those they don’t even own the game for. I used to collect soaps because I liked the smell, but never used them. Eventually they got bad and I had to throw them away, but recently I started collecting Copic markers (don’t worry, I actually use those). Felix has a little more of a sensemaking collection: he collects swords. And yes, not all people collecting stuff are automatically aspies. It is just a quirk that is very present within the spectrum.

And now another quirk: Felix is bad at harmonizing. This is actually a common thing: aspies do not have a good control over their voice. While this doesn’t mean we’re all bad singers, it means we tend to talk too loudly, too quietly, very monotone (though this mostly affects Aspie children) and yes… It is hard to talk and sing when others are doing it as well. For example, I never had a problem with singing in front of a class and always had great marks on that. But as soon as it came to choir singing or choir speaking (baaaaaad memories of some language classes here by the way), I really struggled with it. Because while I’m not exactly bad at singing or speaking, I absolutely suck at harmonizing. Funny thing: it is the same with most Aspies I know except one who has sund in the church choir her entire life. So yeah, I can feel Felix here.

Also, Felix is a great example on how autists are never the same: he can keep it short. I obviously can’t.

… and how they could affect his relationship with Sylvain

Alright. You asked for headcanons, you get headcanons.

Getting Together

I think Felix and Sylvain might have a hard time getting together to be honest. Like… It is a constant dance around each other, constantly backing off as they try to adjust to each other.

I think the biggest issue in any autist-nonautist-relationship is recognizing and adjusting to each other’s wishes, needs and boundaries. For example, you can’t expect an autist to cuddle with you every day, just like that. On the other hand, “normies” usually yearn for exactly that: physical affection, be it in form of handholding, cuddling or sexual contact.

So at the end, both sides need to make compromises. Sylvain would have to come to terms with the fact he can’t (immediately) get what he wants, while Felix would have to metaphorically descent into the cold water, meaning doing something he isn’t exactly comfortable with (at first). If you have ever stepped into a cold lake or pool, you know you should rather take the stairs than jump… At least, that holds true for me. You have to adjust to the temperature, which takes a while. It’s the same with adjusting to new situations for Aspies, really.

Like… Once they are actually together for the first time, the first thing Sylvain does is dragging Felix away from the training grounds since Felix doesn’t quite understand that being in a relationship doesn’t mean being alone next to each other. Which leads to Felix breaking up for the first time because “I don’t need a relationship then”.

I think he comes to Sylvain again after like a week because he wants to give it another try. But only if he doesn’t have to spend all of his time with Sylvain. He spends more and more time with Sylv than with his sword though as time goes by.

So yeah. I think it would be a very slow burn between them, a constant dance around each other. They might also break up a few times because Felix isn’t ready or Sylvain notices he is getting too impatient before getting together for good.

Being Together

I think each of them still has their own room at the Officer’s Academy and also when they’re in the army after the timeskip. Doesn’t mean they don’t sleep in the same bed though. However, Felix absolutely refuses to let Sylvain enter his room in the beginning because Sylvain always, always puts something where it doesn’t belong in Felix’s opinion.

Felix is a side sleeper and also refuses to not sleep with his swordhand free. Sylvain usually sleeps on his back and takes up way to much space on the pillow for Felix’ taste, so Felix usually abuses Sylvain as his personal pillow when they share a bed. I think Sylvain likes that though.

Also, when they’re sleeping in different rooms, they usually swap their pillows around, so they are at least able to smell each other. I think that one develops from Sylvain stealing Felix’ pillow as a joke when the latter refuses to sleep in his bed once - Felix actually breaks up after that once more because he feels pressured. Once Sylvain has cleared the misunderstanding and they’re together again though, Felix decides to respond to Sylvain’s joke by stealing his pillow as another joke.

When they’re doing stuff together, they are often comprimising or trading favours. Like… If Sylvain trains with Felix, they go into town together afterwards.

Or they snuggle under the starry sky together because Sylvain wanted to cuddle while Felix just wanted some quiet time for themselves and maybe talk a little. They speak about different constellation’s names (Sylvain probably knows them all because he used to impress girls with those) and how Felix thinks constellations are an absolutely stupid thing because he sees different things in them. In the end, they end up thinking of their own constellations (like the Sword with a Strange Grip or the Horse that Feels a Little Nausy).

Another headcanon: Felix actually hates other people laying hands on his hair / head, because he is pretty sensitive there. However, Sylvain practices to be carefuly only for the chance to do Felix’ hair. So sometimes, he lets him and just grits his teeth while Sylvain is busy. However, I think Felix loves Sylvain washing his hair.

They also like to take each other out for lunch / dinner or spending time at the library in the evenings once the training grounds are closed. Also, Sylvain is a romantic sap who likes to drag Felix to watch the sunset at the fishing pond. He might even get Felix to play some boardgames.

Alright, the next section is something I’m usually not so fond talking about and I really went back and forth on if I should add it to this post for quite a while, but I decided to give it a go because this is something normal people might actually find a little comedic (note: I don’t really mind if Aspie traits are used in a comedic way in media, as long as the figure having those traits is not warped into a total joke through that or heavily stereotyped. If you are, then that is fine, everyone feels different about it). I personally didn’t understand the comedy of this until it was explained to me by some frineds. I think I can empathize a little on why people think it’s funny by now, even though it’s definetly not my kind of humor, so I decided to give it a go.

Basically when Sylvain suggests having sex with him, Felix is like “Why? If you want to have a baby, you would need a girl to do that!”

The background of that is that while many Aspies gain some understanding of the emotional component of sexual contact, most Aspies I know (including myself) struggle with understanding this nature, especially if they have zero personal experience. Rationalized, it is merely a tool to get babies and that is exactly how many Aspies I have met think about it, at least before gaining experience.I figured Felix might share this view at least initially, before he gains some experience.

Alone Together

However, I think that they not only have separate rooms, but also live separate lives. Like, they never really get married. That’s not entirely a Felix thing though. I think both value their independency too much to make themselves depend on someone, Sylvain perhaps a little less than Felix.

I think there would be countless examples of being alone together, like when both are reading books in the library. They’re technically together, but they aren’t interacting.

Felix does especially need space when he experienced a sensoric overload or after he was arguing with Sylvain. I think when either is the case, Sylvain always finds him at the stables later on, where his horse is. Sometimes, Felix is asleep, sometimes he is awake but barely approachable. I also think Sylvain’s horse often lays down next to him and Felix likes to pat it. In any case, Sylvain always gets him a blanket and waits until Felix comes to him again (because he will, it merely takes him some time).

Due to this, Sylvain probably gets him a cat some time. Felix mentions in his support with Bernadetta how he “doesn’t dislike” cats, so I think he is fine with that. The cat usually also follows Felix if he needs space.

Animals and autists often get along very well. We have a natural or developed liking for them, as they are easier to communicate with than humans and know when to leave us alone. Also, they actually communicate to other humans when to stop, which is often helpful for both sides. So yeah, I think the cat would do that as well. And of course, it would take up the entire space in the bed when Sylvain wants to sleep there (which might actually be something they argue over).

And yeah… That’s actually all :3 Thank you for the ask!

#Fandom #Fire Emblem #FE3H #FE Meta #FE3H Meta #Character Analysis #Analysis #Sylvain José Gautier #Felix Hugo Fraldarius #Sylvix #Autism #Headcanons #theeeveetamer #SeaSi answers

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