#(ooc: oh my god it took so long to add the links but it is very satisfying to see it now)
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OOC Post from the Author: Down with the High Table Summary
Here's a summary/masterlist of the events from the Down with the High Table roleplay, so that people can reread it more easily. I really like organizing things, if you couldn't tell. Events may be slightly out of order because timelines were converging and threads formed with multiple people, but I did my best to include all the posts and to faithfully summarize what we did.
- @thewhumpcaretaker
Tags for participants: @evren-sadwrn @rosevette @r1-jw-lover
As the numerous faked deaths of the High Table members and associates came to light, John Wick watched his friends turn against each other. Akira Shimazu pursued Caine, the D’Antonios, and the Marquis de Gramont on a vengeful murder spree. Gianna sought to kill her brother. The Marquis de Gramont was being hunted for failing to complete his contract against John.
John was angry.
He realized he had to bring them together against the system that had done so much damage to all of them. So he sought out the Bowery King to distribute a declaration of war on the High Table. First, he would take out High Table communications, preventing his allies from being stormed by hundreds of hitmen constantly (although hitmen would still converge on locations known to be important, such as the Continentals). Then, they would take out all High Table members and Continentals who opposed the revolution, along with their assets.
John spent the first night taking down the Accountants in New York, while others joined his cause around the world. The rebels took out communications in all other cities except Paris, where WUXIA Radio was putting up a significant resistance.
Meanwhile, the High Table members responded to the call. Akira reluctantly joined the rebellion because she didn’t want to be on John’s bad side. But she insisted that he promise her the Osaka Continental would be protected, to which he agreed, ordering all of Osaka’s rebels to defend the Continental. Gianna sided with the High Table, stating that it was her destiny to rule. The Marquis’ contract was expanded to include taking down the entire revolt, and in frustration with the High Table, she sided with John.
The Adjudicator responded to John’s declaration of war with a promise to take down the rebellion. They then asked Akira to stand down, and moved against the Osaka Continental when she refused.
While fighting commenced in Osaka, John flew to Italy to kill Gianna and tasked the Marquis with persuading WUXIA Radio to join their side. It was around this time that news of the rebellion reached Sofia Al-Azwar, and she offered her forces in support of John. Akira warmly welcomed her. After learning that John had teamed up with Vincent, Sofia sent reinforcements to Paris to keep an eye on him, because she was suspicious of his loyalties. She herself planned to go to Osaka to help Akira.
Gianna was preparing herself for the imminent fight, and for her probable death. John begged Gianna to reconsider, and Akira suggested that she ask John about life outside the High Table. Once John reached her, Gianna agreed to surrender if John would help her fake her death so that she could live a peaceful life of cats and gardening. He agreed, and announced her death.
The Marquis succeeded in persuading WUXIA Radio to side with them, because his ex worked there. He had also been sober for three days. John congratulated her on both accomplishments, and tasked him with taking down the Paris Continental, which had sided with the High Table.
The battle for Osaka had taken a turn for the worse, and Akira told John that she needed immediate support. He flew to Osaka, and not long after his arrival, The Adjudicator withdrew, and Akira announced the withdrawal. However, John sustained severe bullet wounds during the fight. He fell unconscious.
Meanwhile, the Marquis got a very emotionally manipulative email from The Adjudicator. Due to the stress, she abandoned his leadership of the Paris Continental fight and relapsed.
John woke up to see this and responded with frustration, before realizing that the Marquis had actually taken too much and passed out. John then wrote a long apology, unsure whether the Marquis would live to read it. He also shouted at The Adjudicator and hung up on them.
But there was no time to rest. He flew to Paris and took down the Continental, despite still having bullet wounds and a broken rib. He used adrenaline shots to get through the battle, and won, but suffered a small heart attack. Vincent awoke and the two reconciled. Still feeling protective over Vincent, John suggested that he seek shelter in New York, as he was incapacitated and couldn’t do much to help if anything happened to him. But Vincent refused, because she was scared of Winston after shooting Charon.
While the Paris drama was unfolding, Akira and Sofia were bonding over their shared annoyance with John and his war. Sofia flew to Osaka to help Akira rebuild, and expressed motherly affection for her, which made Akira very happy.
The Adjudicator continued to bicker with the Marquis, who asked John if she could blow up their Administrative Office. He responded, “Please do. In fact, that’s your new assignment: blow up the administration office as soon as you can.”
As Easter morning dawned in Europe, The Adjudicator told Sofia to stand down or see the Casablanca Continental deconsecrated. Sofia refused and began preparing for battle. She was still in Osaka, and John was not available to help. So she and Akira requested help from Katia. Katia agreed to send troops to Casablanca, and even gave a blood marker to Akira as assurance of her loyalty. Katia and The Adjudicator reached Casablanca in quick succession.
However, shortly after the battle began, Katia agreed to a “chat” with The Adjudicator. Concerned, Sofia prepared to fly to Morocco. Katia subsequently switched sides, so that the Casablanca was now outnumbered two-to-one. She also told The Adjudicator where Sofia’s daughter was hidden.
John and Sofia flew to rescue her daughter, leaving Akira to continue rebuilding the hotel. Sofia gave a rousing speech to keep her troops motiviated. Meanwhile, John and Akira continued to ponder why Katia would switch sides. When Winston told John that The Director had not been seen since last night, he realized that The Adjudicator’s forces must be holding her hostage in New York, using her as leverage against Katia. John began to have an internal crisis over The Director’s safety and his complicated feelings about his childhood.
Akira offered to go to New York to rescue The Director and made quick work of that task. Once there, she found that the situation in New York was not as stable as they had thought. The Adjudicator’s troops were preparing to attack the NY Continental. It would not be safe to bring Sofia’s daughter to NY as they had planned.
Simultaneously, John and Sofia fought their way through a hostile Berlin to the ballet studio where Katia’s hitmen were waiting to intercept them. John told Katia that The Director was no longer in danger, and she switched back to their side.
The Marquis successfully burnt down the Administration Office with all exits locked, causing The Adjudicator great distress which they expressed by writing an “EMERGENCY MEMORANDUM.”
John asked him to go to Casablanca, but he paid no attention and instead asked if he could start burning down High Table bases at will. John said yes.
John, Sofia, and Katia made the perilous journey back through Berlin to the airport, then flew to Osaka to drop off Sofia’s daughter. Sofia was still shaken by the danger her daughter had been through. After landing, John immediately got back on the plane to return to Casablanca.
As the final day of the revolution began in Europe, the Marquis informed John that he had destroyed the vehicles on the way to New York, as well as many bases, taking out most of The Adjudicator’s forces in the area and securing the region once more.
The Adjudicator, meanwhile, had continued to bicker with the Marquis, this time over his bounty. The Adjudicator tried to raise it even further, but was informed that the High Table did not have a sufficient budget for that.
As he flew back towards Morocco, John questioned The Adjudicator about their reasoning for siding with the High Table and taking such violent measures in its defense. They explained that they wished to restore order, and feared that John’s new world would be a dictatorship in which he was allowed to do anything he pleased on a whim, and let him subjects fight amongst themselves without restraint.
John explained that he hoped to hand over control of the High Table to an elected official (probably the Bowery King), and that he hoped the organization would become an ethically-run justice system operating outside of governments, acting for the protection of civilians. Upon realizing that such a system would need adjudication and a delicious amount of paperwork, The Adjudicator gladly switched sides and withdrew from Casablanca, effectively ending the war.
John announced that the High Table had fallen. He left the post-war reconstruction efforts and elections in the capable hands of Akira, Sofia, and the Marquis, and went home to rest. And finally, Sofia retired and went to live at Osaka with her daughter and Akira.
#(ooc: oh my god it took so long to add the links but it is very satisfying to see it now)#john wick roleplay#down with the high table#// addiction#// drugs#// relapse
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you’re baackkkkk !!!!!!!! this might be a strange or hard to find fics for, but could you rec some fics where h and l come from different walks of life or learn or experience something from the other that changes how they view the world or their lives? preferably longer and/or with smut. it’s cool if you can’t find any or that many ! have a good day <3
Hi darling. Yes! I’m back! Yayyy! I hope these fics fit what you had in mind. There a mix of smutty and smut-free, but they’re all very good!
The Serpent and the Lion by louiseparker (E, 212K) Despite the fact that I have zero interest in Harry Potter, I was pulled into this immediately and read all 200+K in two days. The author does a wonderful job of creating a nuanced OT5 friendship, writes great dialogue, and draws a intricate picture of life at Hogwartz. Most of all, I loved the use of flashbacks to tell the story, the deeply layered characterization of Harry, and how wonderfully he and Louis fit together and brought out the best in each other. I’m so happy I found this one.
Collision by itjustkindahappened (NR, 225K) This fic is really unique and interesting. The characterizations are a bit OOC (in my opinion), but it’s such a cool story, that this didn’t get in my way of enjoying it. The author has written an epilogue since I read it, which might expand the ending, which felt a little abrupt at the time.
of the divine by @thedevilinmybrain (Mixed ratings, 2-part series, 104K) Oh my god. This series. I cried buckets. It’s so beautifully written. The sex scenes are so tender and sexy, but in such a pure way. Their relationship is so good… you can totally feel how much they love each other, the climactic scene OH MY GOD so intense. It’s also got great zouis friendship and a very sweet narry friendship. Tender punk Louis and guardian angel Harry. Read it.
Wear It Like A Crown by zarah5 (E, 141K) One of my favorites from this author. Really unique storyline, complex characters, great smut, great pacing. Link is to a download.
Wild and Unruly by 100percentsassy, gloria_andrews / @100percentsassy @gloriaandrews (E, 124K) One of the OG classics in this fandom. If you haven’t read it yet, you’re missing out. It’s just a great, original story. Plus, cowboy Harry, city boy Louis, bad guys to hate, nail biting drama, hot af sexual chemistry and smut, and a super satisfying ending.
And down the long and silent street by whimsicule (M, 86K) Similar time period to Victorian Boy, although this one focuses much more on the class structure of Victorian England. The romance here is not only between two men, but between men of very different classes – which only adds to the tension of the already intense subplot. This author always writes with great depth and the detail of the setting feels spot on.
Our Lives, Non Fiction by @indiaalphawhiskey (E, 114K) this is, quite literally, the best fic I’ve read in years. It’s so well written, clever, funny, emotional, and sexy. Its draw you in immediately and you’ll end up falling in love with these characters before you know it. Don’t miss this one.
Young & Beautiful by velvetoscar (M, 227K) This fic is beautifully wordy and descriptive (which isn’t for everyone) and the characters are probably pretty OOC, but I just love everything about it. I know that doesn’t sound like a recommendation, but truly the writing is poetry, the characters are so well-developed, the visuals and setting have stuck with me for years –– there’s a reason this one is a classic.
Ever Since I Tried Your Way by flowercrownfemme / @lesbianiconharrystyles (E, 26K) I loved everything about this fic, from the setting to the characterizations to the slow way Harry discovers himself and how Louis supports everything about him. It’s just beautifully written and wonderfully moving.
Shake Me Down by AGreatPerhaps12 (NR, 209K) this fic will run you through the wringer, but it’s really a great read. I really like the way the author took the boys from enemies to friends to boyfriends, and how we got to see how protective and supportive Louis became towards Harry.
i can be the motor (you be the gasoline) by @kiwikero (E, 8K) As I said before, this author is always a great read. Loved the set up of this one and I could have happily read multiple chapters of these characters!
Glow by dolce_picante (M, 41K) lovely, bittersweet, and sexy. Plus... aliens!
You Drive Me Round The Bend by TheCellarDoor (M, 77K) This is another I read ages ago, so I can’t recall details except that I loved rich, spoiled brat Louis and struggling musician Harry and instant chemistry followed by instant dislike and misunderstandings. Followed, of course, by ultimately falling in love.
Landslide by aimmyarrowshigh, spibsy (lucy_and_ramona) (E, 143K) Set in the 1970s. Read the tags because this fic is a lot. There are pairings you may not enjoy, there’s a lot of period typical unpleasantness, cult psychology, violence, etc. etc. HOWEVER, it’s very well written and the exploration of Harry’s internalized homophobia is done very well, IMO.
In Dreams by dolce_piccante (M, 24K) This actually might be my favorite of this author’s fics, although I know it’s definitely not the most popular. It’s just soft and romantic and sweet and I’m a sucker for tattoo artist Louis winning over slightly uptight Harry.
These Constant Stars by stylinsoncity (M, 31K) Punk Harry/Fashion Designer Louis. This author has written so many great fics and this one is really lovely. I also always like when one of the boys is not what he seems to be on first glance.
Your Name Is Tattooed On My Heart my mcpofife (E, 87K) I reread this one recently and it's truly delightful. The characterizations are so well done. Harry is so endearing (I cried over his heartbreak). And the smut is both hot and really emotional. Love this one.
hope you guessed my name by juliusschmidt (E, 9K) Harry is a devil, Louis is human. I don’t know what it is about this fic, but I just adore it. It’s so moving and so beautifully written and yes, I cried over Harry being a lonely cryptid.
Take Me Home (Country Roads) by Awriterwrites / @a-writerwrites (E, 87K) Probably my favorite of this author’s many fics. Set in rural West Virginia, this hate to love fic is funny, touching, super sexy, painful and features big city doctor Louis vs country boy healer Harry.
Alien Roadtrip! by @helloamhere (E, 16K) You all know I love everything this author writes. This one is just chock full of quirkiness, beautiful writing, and lovely characterizations.
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Title: snowbound pt 1 of 2/3
Theme: snow
Fandom / Character(s):Ben Solo/Kylo Ren x Earth!FemaleReader.
Warnings: First up. I preface with two strong warnings.. I am not a medical professional in any capacity. Second, I am only kind of a casual Star Wars fan, so Idk how things work in their universe as compared to here on Earth. The actual warnings here are blood!tw and injury!tw. Again, I remind you. I am neither a veteran star wars fan nor a medical professional. So, some things may be entirely wrong. And Ben Solo is most likely written totally OOC as he is not a character I am used to writing, by any stretch although i love him with my whole heart... Anyway... The warnings are: Blood!TW, Injury!TW, OOC fandom character and a strong dose of hurt comfort / fluff in the next parts I kind of hope i get to do for this. This part is so long because I was using it to sort of set things in motion..
Word Count: 2k. Listen, I was setting things up and got carried away, rip me.
Listen... You all just don’t fucking understand how much I love Kylo/Ben... I know, I know, he’s a bad guy. Anyway, this is me doing something I’ve literally been dying to do, a scenario in which Ben somehow winds up Earthbound just in time for the holidays...This is my daily entry for my bb @champbucks over on the @12daysofchristmas challenge blog...
OH YEAH.. for the sake of a timeline here.. This part takes place around the end of November/beginning of December. Part two will take place two and a half weeks later and part three will take part a day or so, maybe two, after part two. Trust me, this needed to be said.
Also, again.. I made the banner for this. Don’t steal or repost.
TAGGING:
So, here’s the thing.. There really isn’t anyone on my Star Wars masterlist and like... I haven’t really written anything Star Wars related... Until now. So, if you want to be tagged in my star wars stuff, click the little link below or send me an ask/dm on my main and I’ll happily add you.
@champbucks and @12daysofchristmas
[ about my writing | masterlist | multifandom tag doc ]
“What the hell?”
The boom from outside had the windows to my grandma’s old cabin rattling and I quickly sat up just in time to look out the window at the head of my bed to see a bright flash of blue as it disappeared beyond the treeline across the road.
,, Curiosity killed the cat, remember?” my brain nagged at me the whole time I was slipping on the jeans I’d worn earlier in the day. That nagging only grew as I slipped on my warmest boots and by the time I had my daddy’s old shotgun loaded and I was heading out the door, I wasn’t entirely sure if going over to see what the hell was going on in the woods across from my house was a good idea or not.
I mean yeah, the odds were that some idiot kids were racing around Deadman’s curve and one crashed.. Or a drunk trying to drive home on an icy road hit black ice and lost control… At the thoughts of what probably happened, I stopped in the middle of the road and felt my back pocket.
As soon as my fingers grazed the cool weight of my cell phone, I took a deep breath and started to walk towards the woods on the other side of the little country road.
My eyes were adjusting to the semi darkness, so when the wrecked craft came into view just a few feet into the trees, I had to stop and really stare at it, rubbing my eyes.
“What the fuck?” the words left my mouth in a soft gasp as all the breath left my body. I knew exactly what I had to be looking at by now… And rather than turn and walk away, back to my grandma’s cabin, I kept moving closer. Pushing through bushes and trees and overgrown weeds and dead grass as I made my way towards the clearing to get a better look.
I knew it probably wasn’t a good idea, because everybody knows there’s a damn good reason we have a military base on the outskirts of our little town and we all know they’re not testing weather balloons out there.. I knew that if this were a military thing, there would most likely be a cover-up.
So I did what anybody would and I pulled out my camera, recording the crash site and taking a few pictures of the craft as I walked around it slowly.
I froze completely when I heard a wounded groan.
Now, I’d assumed that whoever crashed whatever this… Thing.. Was… they’d gotten the hell out of dodge as soon as the crash was over.
,,Or they were dead on contact because the impact was really hard.’’ my brain finished. I glanced all around the clearing that the craft crashed in the middle of. Everything was silent. Almost deathly silent, as if something had come along and sucked up all the sounds and background noise. I shivered and hugged myself, swearing under my breath about not having the presence of mind to stop for a jacket or grab my first aid kit on my way over here...
A scream died on my lips when I felt a strong grip wrap around my ankle as soon as I stepped closer to the wrecked craft, bending down to peer inside, my phone out and ready to call for emergency services.
When I looked down, after I dove away as quickly as possible, of course, I swallowed hard and tried to find words.
“Help.”
As he said it, I got the distinct feeling that this was not a word he enjoyed saying, not at all.
I could only nod and when my brain finally felt it had enough time to process what was going on, it kicked into overdrive.
“Can you pull yourself out?” I finally managed to ask the question.
“Trapped.” the word came on the heels of words that were totally unfamiliar to me, yet somehow I knew instinctively that this guy had to be swearing up a storm and in immense pain.
I guess tonight’s one of the few reasons I’m glad I went into the medical field instead of becoming a horror novelist or a starving artist like I used to want to when I was a kid. Tonight my years of school and training and the experience I’d gotten thus far as an intern at the hospital in town was all going to come in handy.
Because the lack of military vehicles or police by now only meant one thing to me.
The military either didn’t know yet so this gave me a chance to finally do something about the way they were polluting the water supply and making people sick or… Nobody knew about this.
Laughing softly at the thought that I might’ve stumbled onto an alien crash landing, I bent lower, peering into the smashed window and I dug around in my jeans pocket until I found my dad’s old pocket knife.
“I’m gonna.. I’ll try to cut you out, okay?” I muttered. He grunted, a light pained scowl playing at gorgeous and full lips.
I leaned inside a little, swearing as I felt shards of glass.. Or whatever the material was on the windows, digging into my hand..As soon as I got a good look, I realized that he wasn’t trapped by a harness or belt of any kind.
He was trapped because when the craft he was inside made impact, the damn thing basically folded like a soda can. I winced. Drawing a few sharp and shaky breaths, the fog from their warmth lingering in the air as I tried to stop and think.
I should be calling EMTS. I should be leaving him here because everything I’ve ever learned about accidents of any kind clearly predicates that if someone is hurt and you don’t know how fucking bad, you don’t move them.
But here’s the problem with that knowledge and my current situation… If I didn’t do something, then either that military installation was going to get away with the shit they’ve been doing the past few years since they mysteriously popped up on the outskirts, show up to finish this guy off in the time it took me to get help on the way… And then they might just do me in also because I had evidence and proof that they were up to something shady out there... Or… They’d find him and take him back to the base and do God only knew what to him.
,, but he might be an alien…” my brain gave me the gentle reminder and the counter argument arose almost immediately, ,, he can’t be. He looks like I do. He looks human. I can’t just turn my back and leave the guy… If he is military and they do realize what’s happened, he’s as good as dead… And I cannot live with someone’s blood on my hands.”
And with that thought, I proceeded to try and figure out the safest way I could to go about breaking years of protocol that had been drilled into my brain.
I started with the obvious. I leaned in, my body brushing against him as I raised my hand, pressing my fingers to his neck, feeling for the jugular so I could attempt to see if his pulse was steady.
He groaned quietly and I explained in a hushed tone, trying to keep him calm, “I’m trying to take your pulse… to make sure it’s okay to move you if I can get you loose. Because we’re gonna have to get you out of here somehow.”
He merely nodded. I almost asked if he spoke the same language as me, but that was a later question. I was still operating under the assumption that I was working with a very small time frame, either way.
Because even if the military didn’t know what happened out here, they would soon.. Because this just felt like something they would be aware of or become aware of. And I wasn’t going to let them get their hands on the guy, especially when he was injured and far too weak to fight them off.
Or so I thought…
,, where the hell am I? What happened? Need to.. Get out of here. Get back to the others.”
I heard it so clearly that for a second or so, I thought he might’ve actually spoken. I answered quietly, “You’re in Montana. Apparently, you crashed whatever the hell this thing is. If you’ll be still and stay calm sir, I’m trying to get you out of here. We have to hurry. If those damn military guys realize what happened and come down, we’re both probably fucked.” and continued checking him over.
I dreaded what I was about to have to try and do, because if there was any internal injury, I was about to make it worse. The goal, I decided mentally, was to move him as carefully but as quickly as possible.
He gritted his teeth and gave another long and wounded grunt as he seemed to pick up on my rush and started trying to maneuver his legs free from the part holding them in place.
“Okay, whoa. Easy, sir. Stop moving, damn it!” I said frantically, eyes widening as they settled on the dark depths of his eyes.
He glared at me, speaking in a calm but firm tone. “I have to get out of here.”
“And if you’ll go about this carefully, like I said before, you might actually live through this. I don’t know if you’ve been injured internally or not. I won’t know how severe your injuries are until I’m back at my cabin. I’m hoping that since you’re vocal enough to be an entire stubborn ass right now, that you’re really not seriously injured.” I snapped back because he’d snapped at me just seconds before.
He eyed me, almost wary. Almost as if he weren’t entirely sure whether to trust me. But I stared him down, firmly as I could. He managed to get his legs free and clear of the way they’d been pinned somehow and if I hadn’t thought the guy might be strong as an ox when he grabbed my ankle before, I now knew that fact beyond a shadow of doubt.
Oh, he grunted and groaned and growled in pain the entire time, but he seemed to be entirely too stubborn for his own good, too hell bent on getting himself out.
Once he was slowly pulling himself through the busted glass and lying on the snow, I cleared my throat. He winced and gritted his teeth as he pulled himself to a sitting position in the snow. The form fitting black garment he wore on his upper body was shredded in a place or two from the way he’d pulled himself through the window of the wreckage.
“Do you think you can walk? Because we need to figure something out.” I asked the question as I worked on keeping calm. But I was in a bit of a panic see, because internal injuries are difficult to spot and often, they go unnoticed until the person injured either dies or suffers massive complications. And I knew that me, moving him as little as I had and then him freeing himself from the wreckage somehow and all that movement… It was tempting fate, in my own opinion, but I was that determined not to let all this be covered up or to have this man’s blood on my hands.
He looked as if he were going to attempt it and I stood, holding my hands out to him to at least try to help him. But after the second or third attempt, the fight or flight response within me kicked in and I was… Growing impatient to get him indoors and both of us hidden away somewhere safely.
“I’ve got an ATV up at the cabin. It’s literally just across the road at the top of the hill… I need you to stay here and stay hidden. Are we clear?” I didn’t mean to bark it at him like an order, I guess I just assumed at the time that if he were a soldier who worked that base, he was used to it.
He bit his lip and eyed me.
“Don’t tell me what to do.” that firm tone, I won’t even begin to go into the effect it had on me, but I was the one who wasn’t injured and didn’t possibly have the US Armed Forces about to pop up at any second, so I had to act as if nothing he did or said had any sort of effect on me at all.
And god was it ever hard!
“Which one of us crashed a fucking piece of government property and is injured, sir?” my hand dragged through damp hair and tugged a little as I tapped my boot against the crunchy snow covered forest floor.
“ The ship is mine.” he corrected. I eyed him with a brow raised.
“Whatever you say. Either way, arguing semantics with you is not getting either of us to my cabin.”
The searing pain that shot through my palm as I rubbed it against my jeans had me grimacing, but I tried to ignore it. He stared me down, head tilted slightly.
“Alright. I’m going now.” I turned on my heels and I bolted up the hillside, hurrying so fast across the slippery pavement separating me from my cabin that I nearly slipped a time or two and I finally got to the shed that I’d parked the ATV under after riding it along the creekbank earlier to look for fallen trees I could use as firewood.
The keys were still in the ignition. I jumped on and fired it up, biting back a pained whimper as I curled my hand around the handlebar and that only put more pressure on the wound that I didn’t even realize I’d gotten trying to help the man out.
I shoved out the pain and focused on getting back across the road as quickly as possible. And in the back of my mind, yes.. I did find it more than a little odd that nobody had come down. The neighbors a mile away from me have to have heard… Then I remembered that Herb and Isla were out of town, in Kentucky with their oldest daughter and her family for the holidays.
,, c’mon lady luck, don’t fail me now.” the thought came and went and I took a shortcut through the treeline that I knew would put me straight in front of the crash site. Now I just had to hope to God that the guy was okay and he hadn’t left the scene.
Right as the crashed ship came into view, I spotted him trying yet again to use the wreckage to pull himself to his feet and I rushed over.
“You’re a stubborn one.”
“Trying to..” he took a few heavy breaths and grumbled before continuing, “Get back home.”
“And you can do that.. The second you’re at least partially healed, sir. I’m gonna…” I trailed off, awkwardly positioning myself against his side so that he could use me as a crutch and lean on me to get to the ATV so I could take him back to my place, “Lean on me.”
But the guy was an actual fucking giant.
And normally, in a non life or death situation, I’d have been absolutely mesmerized by… Pretty much everything about him. But tonight, I was too focused. Too intent on getting both of us to safety.
,, daddy always told me curiosity killed the cat. Now look what I’m smack in the middle of.” I thought to myself, grunting a little as he leaned into me heavily, my arm around his lower back and his arm around my shoulders as he clumsily tried to make his way to the ATV.
Once I got on and he managed to get himself on behind me, I took off. “Might wanna cover your face.”
And a minute or so later, as I parked the ATV right at my porch steps to make it a little easier to get him inside, he eyed me warily again, this time questioning, “Why are you doing this? Don’t you know who I was?”
“What do you mean was?” I asked the question, all the worst possible scenarios flashing through my mind. And that adrenaline surge from earlier that I had yet to come down from? A little more panicked.
He muttered something and shrugged, putting a shoulder around me again as he grunted and managed to get himself standing.
The light overhead on my porch caught on his bloodied pants leg and I grimaced. “Well, pretty sure that’s a broken leg.”
I kicked open the front door with my foot and helped him into my living room, letting him sink down onto the couch. After I got him all settled in, I rushed around my pantry gathering up my medical supplies that I kept on hand.
And I wandered back into the living room, taking a seat on the handmade heavy wooden coffee table in front of my old plaid couch. “You’re gonna have to… Take off the shirt..”
He eyed me, this curious gleam in his eyes that quickly vanished when I firmly repeated myself.
His eyes caught on my palm and he eyed my own smaller wound, then fixed his eyes on me. “You’re dripping blood on the floor.”
“And I’ll worry about that as soon as I’m totally certain that aside from a possibly broken leg and a few cuts and bruises, you’re fine.” I insisted, a firm tone of my own as I started to tug the ripped fabric up and over his body. I grimaced at the older scars and bit my lip as I surveyed the bruises already starting to form against pale skin. “Are you in any pain at all when you breathe?”
Bear in mind here. I am still only just an intern. So I haven’t actually had to deal with a whole lot in the way of injuries. The most I’m currently allowed to do is make rounds and do consults, checking in on patients to let their actual physician know what they might need or how they might be feeling on that particular day.
So this was all trial by fire for me.
One glance at his well muscled body had me definitely continuing to think that he was one of the guys from the military base and I made a mental note to maybe NOT turn down Carrie if she offered to set me up with one of the guys her fiance knew in the future as I had been doing.
He cleared his throat.
“A little.”
“Most likely dealing with a bruised rib or two. I’ll wrap those for now.. I’ll call in a favor with Dr.Albertson in the morning...I don’t think he’ll tell anybody.”
The man nodded, agreeing.
I went back to cleaning and patching the wounds I could patch and then I turned my attention to his leg.
“I’m going to have to cut your pants leg…”
“Or I could take off my pants.”
I eyed him as soon as he said it because truth be told, not only did he have me flustered in saying it, but also, I couldn’t entirely tell if he were being helpful at last, or if he were being a flirt.
As if to prove he was serious, he rose up slightly, unfastening the black pants he wore, working them down his hips and I have literally NEVER… ever.. Turned away and tried to still catch a peek as I did in that moment.
“Christ. You could’ve given me a second to turn.”
“Why?” he tapped my shoulder as he asked the question and I turned around.
My breath caught in my throat and I quickly had to refocus myself. Because if I thought taking his shirt off was a bit of a distraction… Then him sitting there pantsless was.. A bit more.
I bit my lip and my eyes settled on the lower portion of his leg. The swelling was bad. The leg was definitely broken. I sighed and clucked my tongue, shaking my head.
“I’m gonna have to call in that favor with the old man now. Because this can’t wait to be looked at. And I need to be sure you’ve got no internal injuries.” I stood abruptly, nearly doing so fast enough that I almost landed on top of the guy.
He eyed me and I pulled back and away from him, raising to a full stand. Walking quickly into my kitchen and sliding the pocket door closed behind me.
“Hey, doc? I know it’s late, but if you get this, can you please swing by my grandma’s cabin on your way home tonight? I need your help. And I need someone who can be trusted to stay quiet on what you’re gonna see.”
I’d just walked back into the living room when my cell phone rang in my hand.
“What’s wrong?”
“I’d rather explain when you get here, doc.”
“I’m on my way now. Just grabbing my equipment.”
“Thank you, doc.”
“I always told you and I promised your grandma when you were knee high to a grasshopper. If you ever need me, kid, I’ll be there.”
I hung up and sank back down onto the coffee table, letting a deep breath escape my mouth. The adrenaline was starting to wear off finally and all I could do now was… Process everything. Try to figure out just how far up the proverbial creek I might’ve gotten myself.
The man shattered the silence in the room by clearing his throat and reaching out. I eyed him, a brow raised.
“What are you doing?”
“If you’re not going to do something about your hand, I’m going to.”
“It’s fine. It’s a little scrape.”
“There’s blood caked on it.”
Something in the look he gave me had me extending my hand. It almost felt as if I wasn’t in control of myself, though I didn’t realize this until much later…
His larger hand gripped mine carefully, holding it on bare legs.
“You still haven’t put any pants on, what the hell..”
“If you called that person and they’re going to come and examine me, doesn’t make sense to.” he didn’t look up as he answered, instead, focusing on swiping the cloth that I’d gotten as a spare in case I needed a clean one for his wounds. When the light overhead caused something in the wound to glisten, I tried to yank my hand free in a hurry, but that sensation was back in my mind and his grip on my wrist tightened to a point where I couldn’t move.
“Be still.”
That firm tone again, honestly, fuck him for it.
“Fine. But I feel like I should remind you, I am a medical professional. I could get this looked at when Doc arrives.”
“Well, I’m doing it now.” he stated calmly, as if I had no say in the matter. And when I opened my mouth to argue, to insist I could just wait the ten minutes it would take Doc to get to my cabin, nothing came out.
He gave me this smug look as he took my tweezers and worked them into the cut, making me bite my lip and take a few deep breaths.
When he finally got the shard free, I pulled my hand back, cradling it against me.
He eyed me, amused it seemed.
“I’ll clean it out and wrap it now, thanks.” I mumbled in a softer tone, giving him a small smile and thanking him.
Now, we just had to wait on Doc to arrive...
#12daysofchristmas#12 days of christmas#ben solo fanfiction#ben solo fanfic#ben solo imagine#ben solo imagines#trapped on earth au#my writing; ben solo#my fics; ben solo#my moodboards; ben solo
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cal’s bella x wolves fic recs
hello! this is cal here (obviously) and i’m just reposting this. i made it a while back, but the links didn’t work, so now i’m redoing it. this time, i’m going to make it smaller, with more posts, instead of larger in one post. so without further ado, here is my bella x the wolves fic recs. also, this is only for completed fics, so if you have a story i didn’t add (that’s complete) send me a link and i’ll read it and then decide whether to add it or not. i will not, however, take any bella x edward, bella x jasper, or bella x jacob fics.
other fic recs here
last updated- 12/2/19
j a r e d x b e l l a
i. firebound by someryn / m / 70-75k, multi-chaptered / complete
After the battle with the newborns, Bella stumbles into an entirely new destiny. She’d thought she’d already made all the hard decisions. Now she doesn’t know if her world is falling apart or finally falling together. Bella/Jared.
ii. she belongs with me by booksteaandcake13 / m / 70-75k, multi-chaptered / complete
A fan fiction about the imprinting on Bella by Jared. When Bella goes looking for Jake, she meets Jared instead. How do they make their relationship work, and how does Jacob deal with it? Will Jacob find a new romance?
iii. a difficult choice by nefertel / t / 25-30k, multi-chaptered / complete
Bella breaks free from Edward to visit Jacob but something happens that no one expected. What will happen to Bella and Edward. BXJ pairing. Rated T for now may change to M.
iv. seven days by lilyaurora / m / 2-3k, one-shot / complete
“Please. I’m begging, just… just talk to me. Please.” His heart ached as he watched her eyes fill with unshed tears. Her long, beautiful hair moved fluidly as she shook her head in reply, not trusting her voice. He reached towards her, wanting to comfort her. But she pulled away, a gasp on her plump lips, eyes wide
v. the man who can’t be moved by vampirefairy13 / t / 10-15k, two-shot / complete
Songfic. Despite being imprinted on by Jared, Bella chooses another, his sworn enemy. When all his previous attempts to change Bella’s mind fail he is forced to wait where they first met hoping she will come to her senses. But what if it’s too late?
p a u l x b e l l a
i. no more secrets by just lil ole t / m / >1k, one-shot / complete
Paul loves a challenge and she definitely fits that bill! AU, ONE SHOT!, Rated M mostly for language
ii. redemption by khyharah / t / 35-40k, multi-chaptered / complete
Redemption can come in many forms. For some, it’s finding the light at the end of the tunnel. For me? It came in two forms: a red-haired vampire out for vengeance and a 6'4", copper skinned man….. No man isn’t right. GOD would be closer. Oh, and he just happens to turn into a giant wolf and kills vampires. But really, that’s just a bonus.
iii. holy crow by geezerwrench / m / 15-20k, multi-chaptered / complete
The feather Paul found was a confirmation of what he already knew. Bella is the imprint he requires, but maybe he’s just what Bella truly needs. Written for Afke in the 2014 2nd Annual Tricky Raven Author/Artist Silent Auction. AU. Paul Lahote, Bella Swan
iv. hot headed angel by obsidian stained roses / t / 25-30k, multi-chaptered / complete
IMPRINT STORY: After Edward left, I couldn’t function. I didn’t think I’d ever move on with my life. I was trying for Charlie and Jacob; but it wasn’t enough. I wasn’t good enough for anyone; I just wanted Edward. It wasn’t a life without him. But life has purpose, and after Jacob broke his promise, I found my purpose. I had someone to live for. I had Paul. P/B A/U OOC
v. life in la push by ifeelittoo / k+ / 20-25k, multi-chaptered / complete
What if Charlie had lived in La Push? Bella moves in with him, and everything goes down differently. Will Bella still fall for Edward? Or will a member of the pack appeal to her?
vi. listening to your heart beating by kaialuna / m / 3-4k, one-shot / complete
A little one shot trying to get my writing back after a long setback. Paul finds and imprints on Bella in the woods after Edward leaves. Can she be healed by the quiet warmth of his presence and the gentle thrum of his heart beat.
vii. hearts in sync by untamed loner / m / 30-35k, multi-chaptered / complete / sequel- hearts ever right
When Charlie gets called away to testify, Bella moves to La Push where she meets Paul. It doesn’t take long for the two to form a bond unlike any other. As Paul convinces her to talk about her past, it becomes clear. She was always meant to be HIS.
viii. harmonic convergence by nostalgicmiss / m / 90-95k, multi-chaptered / complete
When Bella comes to stay with Charlie, his first inclination is to keep her away from the vampires and send her to school on the Reservation where she’ll be protected. Her life changes forever when bad boy Paul comes out to play. A/U, BxP, Rated M
ix. big bad wolf by kaialuna / m / 10-15k, one shot / complete
A slap derails Bella’s life. She’d never hit someone before, ever. Now all she can think about is Paul. Odd little one shot. Not my best writing but thought I’d post it anyways.
x. shades of the past by mysteriouslyme / m / 3-4k, one-shot / complete
When he left, she was left broken. When the world was left devoid of warmth, he defrosted her frozen sheilds of self preservation, helping her piece back together what she had forgotten.
xi. paul’s girl by sweetashuney / m / 50-55k, multi-chaptered / complete
Takes place in New Moon. After Paul imprints on Bella they become close. But how will they fare when the Cullen Family comes back? Will Paul be able to keep Bella’s heart or does she still belong to a vampire? M for lemons and language.
xii. poisoned love by 9poisonivy9 / m / 45-50k, multi-chaptered / complete
What if, when Jake took Bella to meet Sam and the others, Paul imprinted on her. Can Paul fix Bella or will she be the broken girl forever? And will their love survive the newborns and Victoria?
xiii. somewhere i belong by juxtaposed92 / m / 55-60k, multi-chaptered / complete
Bella ran away from an abusive relationship and who should she run into other then the pack? She falls in love with Paul, who has in fact imprinted on her, as they all try and help her escape her dangerous ex.
xiv. my savior by teamjacobrulez / m / 30-35k, multi-chaptered / complete
In the midst of her near death, he was the only one who was there to save her. When everyone else had abandoned her, he was the one who came to give her comfort. When no one else loved her, he did. After suffering a bad heartbreak, can she love again?
xv. believe by bexxyy / t / 3-4k, one-shot / complete
When the wolves are in trouble, a former legend comes to life. All Bella can do is sit and wait but sometimes you can see more than you believe from the sidelines, based on the Quileute legend about the Thunderbird.
s e t h x b e l l a
i. the clearwater solution by shadowpast620 / m / 6-7k, one-shot / complete
Seth does what no one else has been able to do – stop Bella from marrying Edward.
ii. unintended by jasper’sdarlinbunny / k / 1-2k, one-shot / complete
Set during New Moon. A little Oneshot about Seth/Bella and a little thing called Imprinting!
iii. tradition by notashamedtobe / m / 7-8k, one-shot / complete
Some traditions change with time, only to get better. This is an entry from the Tricky Raven’s winter contest. It also checks off my desire to write Bella with all the wolves, minus Colin and Brady. I might add to it later on, but it’s done as of right now.
q u i l x b e l l a
i. closure by lilyaurora / t / 2-3k, one-shot / complete
Some Fluffy Fluff lol
ii. promise me by just lil ole t / k+ / 4-5k, one-shot / complete
What if Bella and Quil grew up as life long friends? How would their lives have turned out? AU, Rated K, ONE SHOT, This piece won Third Place in Tricky Raven’s Twitterpated in Springtime One Shot Competition! :D
iii. walking away by betterintexas / m / 6-7k, one-shot / complete
A different take on the Breaking Dawn wedding. What could have been. Entry to the Tricky Raven Silent Auction. Prompt provided by GeezerWench.
iv. love in an elevator by lilyaurora / m / 5-6k, one-shot / complete / sequel- be mine bella
“Quil!…I swear to god if you press another button on that panel, I’m gonna kick you right where it hurts!”
v. i’m yours by pengins.are.lovely / t / 40-45k, multi-chaptered / complete
After Jake ditched them both, Quil and Bella strike up a friendship, which turns into something more.
vi. that’s not what i expected by carliecullenblack by just a kiss contest / t / 6-7k, one-shot / complete
ENTRY FOR THE JUST A KISS CONTEST: Jake sends Bella away in New Moon after he first phases and Quil finds her crying and upset. The two connect over the loss of their friend in an unexpected way.
vii. i’ve always loved you by knblair86 / 40-45k, multi-chaptered / complete
Imprint Story! After Jake gets ‘sick’, Bella starts hanging out with Quil. How will they help each other heal? What happens when the Cullen’s come back to town and Will Victoria finally get her revenge? Please give it a chance!
viii. well ain’t that something by wolfpull85 / t / 3-4k, one-shot / complete
Bella goes to La Push to confront Jake after he disappears but finds his friend instead and a whole world she didn’t expect opens up.
e m b r y x b e l l a
i. gettin’ game by just lil ole t / k / 1-2k, one-shot / complete
Embry’s struggling to find his game…to catch his girl. He goes to his best source of manly advice for some suggestions. ONE SHOT!, AU
ii. brown sugar by geezerwrench / t / >1k, one-shot / complete
Looking at her, he realized he didn’t really want to know the answer after all—to either question. Perhaps later he would, but right then, in that moment, it didn’t matter. Written for the Tricky Raven Weekly Fanfiction Flash Fic challenge prompt #36. AU Embry Call, Bella Swan
iii. how do i love thee? by chrissihr / m / 2-3k, one-shot / complete
AU: Embry and Bella are lying in bed one lazy summer Saturday morning, basking in the sunshine pouring through the slats of the blinds like cats in a sun puddle as Embry recites “How do I love thee? Let me count the ways…” and shows her. Pairing prompt provided by Afke Deen for the 2nd Annual Tricky Raven Author & Artist Silent Auction. One-shot, COMPLETE.
iv. bella on ice by kookykatie / t / 3-4k, one-shot / complete
Set in New Moon, in February. Bella is moving on with her life after Edward left and has taken to Jacob and his pack of friends. They can get her to do many things she wouldn’t normally do, and they take advantage of that in this particular story. Embry/Bella pairing, Jacob only loves Bella as a best friend.
v. bella’s insecurities by sfj0813 / t / 1-2k, one-shot / complete
Bella thinks she’s not good enough for Embry. Oneshot
l e a h x b e l l a
i. lost and found by sophieangel69 / m / 1-2k, two-shot / complete
After Edward leaves her Bella bumps into Victoria but is then saved by a passing werewolf. (Dub-con) Challenge
ii. magic on the cliffs by whitewolflegend / t / 1-2k, one-shot / complete
“Am I so horrible that no one will want me?” she whispers to the she wolf after a few minutes of silence. Leah held back another snarl and cursed Jacob in her mind before pulling back so she could look Bella in her eyes for the first time. Gasping as she felt the world around her shift and latch onto the woman crying in front of her, nothing mattered but her.
iii. moonlight sonata by izzyiniguez / t / 6-7k, one-shot / complete
Bella/Leah. Leah imprinted and kept it to herself, eventually the wolf will be let out of the bag.
iv. acceptance by mskathy / m / 7-8k, one-shot / complete
Written for the TwiSlash Unveiled Femme Slash Contest - Leah struggles with her self-identity and Bella just wants someone to love. When Alice sets them up on a blind date, they each find more than they had hoped for in each other. Lemons, femme slash.
v. secrets of the heart by sparklingfae / m / 2-3k, one-shot / complete
She was tired of waiting..tonight was the night that she would reveal the truth to her imprint. FemmeSlash warning.
b r a d y x b e l l a
i. all for you by welsharcher / t / 50-55k, multi-chaptered / complete
The meeting with the wolves didn’t go quite as everyone had planned. Especially not when a wolf imprints on Bella. Bella/Brady.
#twilight#twilight fic recs#bella fic recs#bella swan#twilight wolf pack#jared cameron#bella x jared#paul lahote#bella x paul#seth clearwater#bella x seth#quil ateara#bella x quil#embry call#bella x embry#leah clearwater#bella x leah#brady fuller#bella x brady
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Just gonna drop this here and run. ;;; v ;;;
Okay, so like, some of you guys have been asking for me to upload some of my works here, so here I go at last. Please don't hurt me. ; v ;
My name is Pat and I'm one of the original authors for that god-awful ZADR fanfic, "ZADR Orange." It's likely one of the cringiest fanfics I've ever written in my life, but like, also the thing that has been feeding my soul for the past 10 years of working on it. The beginning is rushed and terrible, the characters are OOC, and my writing from back then is just...blah. HOWEVER it's become something I can't let go of and so I continue to plague the fandom with its continued existence even after all these years of posting. Some people have come to love it, others hate it to its core, but for me, it's that thing that has given my life purpose (as stupid as that may sound). It's pushed me to make improvements in my writing, even if you can't necessarily see those improvements in the earliest chapters of the work (and by earliest chapters, I mean like the first 150 of them. Yep, that's how long it took me to not suck as much as I did back then). To this day, I continue to upload new content and VERY SLOWLY make revisions to its beginning. Perhaps someday it will be a halfway decent work of fiction in the fandom and not a target for criticism as mentioned in this hate Wiki: https://toxicfandomsandhatedoms.miraheze.org/wiki/Invader_Zim_Fandom (which I really can't argue with. XD It is pretty cringe-worthy).
There are like a million other fics posted in this fandom that far surpass anything that I could ever hope to write, but still, I strive to improve my works constantly. I know I've gotten a lot of love and support from some fans over the years, but my inner critic is always there to remind me that if I hadn't been the one to write it myself, I likely would have passed it up as a reader simply for its rushed formatting, dialogue, and word flow. Also for the copious amounts of pointless filler word vomit I tend to get into because I think it's interesting at the time only to realize later that I was simply rambling. But ah well. That's just how it goes sometimes, especially when writing an RP (Oh, did I mention that this story was originally a role play with another person? Yeah, there's that too. Since I was the one writing our parts into narrative though, I feel solely responsible for butchering what could have been a decent story if I just hadn't rushed the beginning bits so much). Umm...But yeah, anyways, moving on.
As I mentioned above, this story has also been accused of portraying the characters as WAY OOC from the show. Once again, my fault because I have a tendency towards writing Dib as a whiny little overemotional bitch most of the time. Sorry about that. ; v ; It's a preference in most of my writing with him though. To me personally, what makes ZADR so appealing in the long run, is exploring the emotional torment of somebody who has been called crazy all his life. Dib is just the saddest little stubborn panda bear in all of my writing and I heavily prefer works in which he is the submissive to Zim. Like, Zim is adorable in his own right, but I can't imagine him simply surrendering his dominance to Dib, regardless of how much taller Dib might ever grow. Plus, in my head, Dib will always be that hopeless virgin type of character (even if Zim IS fucking his brains out half the time in my works). Zim's not as clueless as he may seem sometimes either. Like, he's lived a whole other life long before he came to Earth. I imagine he's seen some things and experienced more in his life than Dib has, even if one of the main consensus is that Irken's mature more slowly than humans. Irken society is very different from human society in my mind so I imagine some things are more normal for Irkens than other things (but I won't get into that here. That's a post for a different point in time.)
Whoo boy, this is getting long, and I haven't even posted a link to the actual story yet. ; v ; I guess what I'm trying to say though is that I have a very personal way of viewing and portraying the characters in my work. Perhaps that's why it gets both positive and negative feedback from people. I don't expect everybody to agree with or even like my work, but I simply ask that it not be crushed into the ground for its flaws. Above all else, I write my stories for fun and to see my own improvement. And yes, I know it may seem weird that I'm so paranoid about advertising a work that's been present in this fandom for YEARS now (especially as it used to be advertised quite a lot back when I was still writing it with my co-writer), but let's just say this fandom has left me with some pretty nasty battle scars in the past. I know the haters will always exist and they're better off ignored, but I've had to see close friends come and go from this fandom as a result of that hate. I don't understand the fixation some people have with drama in this fandom. Yes, you're entitled to an opinion, but please don't shove it in other people's faces. It's like some people enjoy intentionally being assholes online and trying to ruin other people's fun. I've tried to distance myself from that sort of hatred because I don't need that sort of stress in my life any longer. But in doing so, it DOES make it harder to interact with the nicer fans out there/continue posting my works, regardless of how long I've been in the fandom. Also, I was kind of an attack dog back in the day when it came to defending some of my friends, which kind of put me in a bad light to some people in the fandom for a while. Whoops. My bad. As much as I hated that sort of drama, I was always the first to jump in and make an ass of myself when it came to defending my friend. Hahaha. <XD
Gah! I'm stalling now. Here's my shit for those of you who were asking: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/5995185/1/ZADR-Orange
(This links to the PG-13 version uploaded on Fanfiction.net. An adult version is also available for 18 + viewers over on DeviantART).
https://www.deviantart.com/dib-the-hybrid/art/ZADR-Orange-Chapter-001-277634496
And for those of you who weren't asking for it, sorry to spam the ZADR tag with my bullshit. ; v ;
Oh, and while I'm at it, since this Tumblr account IS a joint account with another one of my co-writers, Sass (Sassafrass002 over DeviantART. Go check her out! Her art is amazing and she deserves all the love in the world for it. <3 https://www.deviantart.com/sassafrass002), here's another set of links to yet another ZADR roleplay we've been writing together for years now (almost as long as ZO, actually). :> We just recently posted chapter 100 of our story and have so much more to add onto it. Once again though, we do lean towards a softer side of ZADR so it'll likely be OOC to many. I feel this work to be at least a little less cringe worthy though. :> Plus she does amazing preview images to go along with the chapters.
(PG-13 FanFiction.net Version: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/7311546/1/Dib-Is-Sick )
(18+ DeviantArt Version: https://www.deviantart.com/sassafrass002/art/Dib-is-Sick-Chapter-1-254253924 )
I might advertise some other stories of mine at a later point in time, but for right now, these two are the ones that I've invested the most time into. They've kept my mind occupied with ideas for them for years, and I doubt I'll ever be able to move on from them until they're actually complete. (Technically DIS IS complete. Just not all posted yet. But we have a sequel in the works currently that I hope we eventually get to posting also! :>)
Enjoy! :> ...Or not. ; v ; I think I'm going to run away and hide now.
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hi there, just saw in the tags that you didn‘t like endgame. would you like to expand on that? i am curious to know other people‘s perspective. personally, i liked it. it has flaws, yes, but to me it was enjoyable. if you don‘t feel like answering, that is fine :) have a great day!
oh wow. you really wanna know? okay, but on your own head be it. :o
i’m just joking, i’ll go easy, or at least give you the digest (a vicious lie) version. if you want to see the full extent of my derision and vitriol, you can go to @lowkeysebastianstan, which is the blog where i’ve tried to limit this too. but to give you the not at all short and not so sweet of it, here goes. (endgame spoilers obviously).
the first thing that really set me off was the ending, more precisely, what steve did. it made absolutely no sense whatsoever, and hit me closer to home than most of my followers here since bucky and steve are my fave characters, and the only ship i really have. now, i never thought stucky would become canon, not even a little, i didn’t even hope for it. sure, the representation would’ve been awesome, but there’s no way marvel could’ve done it justice, so it was just as well it was never gonna happen. what i hadn’t prepared for was to what extreme extent they were terrified of the ship and the effect it would have if they were to let it be even a hint that could be interpreted as some emotional connection between them, for 3 films they’re built bucky up as the most important character in steve’s life, he’s risked his own life to save him, he basically eradicated hydra during wwii fueled by grief for him, he was prepared to die for him in tws, he fought his friends and gave up everything for him in cacw, and then he just? leaves? to be with a woman who died of old age and natural causes after a long fulfilling life with another man and family of her own. who specifically told him to fucking move on in tws? yeah, sure. and do not get me wrong, i adore sam wilson, after bucky, and the real steve rogers, he is by far my fave in the cap verse (saving a few spots for my bp and cm peeps in the mcu, but we’ll get to them), and he is the superior choice to pick up the mantle, no doubt about it. (okay, a little doubt, they teased sebastian with that shield for 8 years, they based bucky on the brubaker storyline where he becomes cap, and so i do feel a little torn bc no matter how happy he must be for his friend, and him and mackie are good friends, he must be a little disappointed? but who knows, maybe they’ll do something with that in the series, which would be stupid af bc that would negate the positive leap in representation, and mackie deserves it too, so who the fuck knows, i’ll probably not be around to keep track anyways, and can you tell im rambling), but for steve’s last words to be to sam? while bucky stands and watch in the background? like??? i could go on in (more excruciating) detail, but that was why i linked the blog, there might be a point or two about this on there.
but that was just the start. all through the movie i felt disconnected and uneasy, they made some really weird choices, but i don’t think it was until nat took the plunge that i knew i had an absolute dud on my hands.
the mcu has done a lot of things right, but their treatment of women is NOT one of them. and oh boy did they go out with a bang. first is the obvious implication, he got to live bc he had “more to live for”, and she didn’t have a family, and ye gods we know she can’t have kids, so why should she live?
(see, if the bw movie wasn’t in the books, i’d completely get it, if it was to give scarjo her life back, and she wanted nat to be good and dead, sure. actually, when i first watched it, that’s what i thought tbh, that the bw movie was cancelled, so. but it’s not, so she will return. and since that the case it’s just fucked up that they yeeted her off the roster. and sure, some of the bw movie was always gonna be set in the past, but tbh? i don’t see much point in prequels for dead characters, you know that whatever happens won’t affect the outcome for the character at all, and i usually find them completely void of meaning. that might just be me though). and of course the fact that she died the same way gamora went didn’t help. (gamora’s death was maybe the single worst thing in aiw, she was fridged, not for the advancement of one man, but for two (thanos and quill) and it.just.shouldn’t.have.worked.thanos.cannot.love! again, mcu and women? not a good match.)
then of course, it comes back to steve and how much he doesn’t give a crap about the people close to him in the present, we never see him care or grieve for anyone but peggy, and he could barely spare two tears for nat before it was all business again. and the rest of the team? i think clint cared a little, and banner threw a chair, but that was it. no memorial, not burial, no nothing, it was like she never existed, and she died saving the world just as much as tony, he couldn’t have done jack shit without the soul stone.
and speaking of women, shuri and okoye? before the trailer dropped i was sure shuri was in this, that we’d get to see her lead in her brother’s stead. i actually did a short lament on this already, here.
carol was terribly underused, after all the oompf about her being there she was barely a blip. but the haircut was fantastic, and the best part of the movie was when she returned at the end.
then there’s nebula and gamora (again). at first i was actually quite pleased that they sort of found a loophole to bring gamora back, but then i thought about it (yes, sometimes i get seduced by the flashy colours too) and yeah. sure. a gamora is there, but she’s void of all the things that makes her interesting and all her development is just gone, everything “our” gamora achieved and experienced is gone, three films worth of arc is worthless. so what then is the point of getting “her” back? i don’t care about this person, i don’t know her. are we gonna see quill just harass her the next film, bc you know, she’s been with him, so why shouldn’t he expect her to just do that now? tbh i wouldn’t be surprised, but now that gunn is back maybe he can save it? not that i’ll be around to keep track though.
then nebula. nvm that time paradox, that’s a whole other fuckfest i’ll get back to, but we had to get to see her get killed too, didn’t we. by her sister, the only person in the world she loves. fucking fantastic, i cannot control my enthusiasm.
and no, cool as it was, the a-force surrounding parker is not enough to bring this home. it was a cool sight though. (see? i can see the good.)
then of course it’s peggy. a woman he knew for a few months back during the war. (sure they knew each other longer, but i’d say, even if you’re very generous, they can’t have spent more than a couple of months in each other’s company, and they kissed once). who they stripped of all character development and autonomy so that steve could go back and get his “damce”. everything she achieved, every good thing that happened to her, her husband, her family, her advancement in shield, all gone. bc steve must have his happy ending, no matter that she told him to move the fuck on in tws, who cares.
and then there’s sharon. yeah, they forgot about her, didn’t they. i mean, i was never really on board with that, the whole aunt/niece thing was a bit too weird for me, and this was way before i shipped stucky, but that doesn’t matter. bc they did that, they had them kiss within days after peggy’s death (oooh, look how he cared for peggy), making it clear that this was the beginning of something. (also marvel and several of the actors treated emily like crap, oh yeah, i remember, doesn’t help either.)
(gods i said this would be short, didn’t i? imagine if i could’ve spent all the words i’ve spent ranting about endgame on my latest chapter? good grief.)
then there’s their so called lgbt representation. 30 seconds of a character that had a total of 60 sconds of screentime in tws lamenting his dead lover? well. i. they wanted credit for that. i just.
then there’s thor. they negated every ounce of development he had in ragnarok, this also goes for aiw, wasn’t happy about that, and made him completely ooc, he just spends his time drinking ab\nd playing fortnite of all things? bold of them to assume that will still be a thing in 5 years, but also? thor? THOR? neglecting his people? his friends? the world? thor? then they of course made him fat, haha, so they could add fat-shaming to the list while they make light and fun of his drinking problems, his grief and his ptsd. awesome. the funniest.
then there’s clint. that they just randomly made a killer? just, like a straight up murderer? okay then. and still nat deserved to die. excellent.
then there’s banner. okay, i don’t think they fucked him up as bad as the others, but it’s still strange he would risk his intelligence to become hulk full time, but you do you.
rocket and rhodey were the best things about this damn disaster, just putting it out there.
then there’s tony. i mean, we knew he was the main protagonist, and im not objecting that, (even if i think it’s really strange he’d be born in 1970) but idk. that was strange’s plan? all that for that? and pepper just went, eh what the hell, just die, i can raise this kid you wanted. (i know, i know, she’s her mom, she cares), but it was just so flat. and idk. i mean, rdj wanted his life back, just as evans, but i’d want to see that switched, that tony get to retire and steve sacrifice himself to save the world. tony could still be the deciding factor in strange’s plan even if steve delivered the coup de grace. at least he cared enough to show an emotion™when peter came back, which was more than steve bothered with. jfc they fucked up steve.
then there’s the time travel. okay, a few things about the 2012 thing. they put him in the elevator, and then, instead of having him just kick the crap out of the agents, they reference hydra!cap? the biggest shitstorm in the comics in the last two decades? like what the actual fuck? then of course there’s the americas ass thing, which, again, that’s steve, cares about his ass but not his friends! (but at least 2012 steve cares about bucky, maybe he’ll save him a couple of years early, back to the future steve will just live out his life knowing bucky is getting tortured somewhere in siberia, good times.) oh! and i guess they have their loophole to get loki back too, great, they’ll probably just forget that he’s not in the main timeline, bc who cares.
and the fun just keeps coming with the time travel. oh they tried with some crap explanation that no one can make sense of, but here’s the kicker. they can’t either, they don’t even want to try, they don’t even agree with each other.
+ +
how did they know to meet up in wakanda or wherever, the dustees? did strange send a memo? not just the ppl in the soul realm or wherever they were, but all the others too, like valkyrie and hope. time and place just magically popped into their heads? and what happened when they all came back? or some came back, bc obviously a shit ton of ppl died at the dusting, like the pilot of a 747 gone? plane goes down and such, ppl really dead. and where do they reappear? where they disappeared? aka those passengers that got dusted comes back mid flight? fun! and what about the ones that moved on in their absence? what happens to the ones that come back when their wives and husbands are remarried, when there’s no place for them in their old lives. did all of peter’s classmates get dusted, or did the rest of the class graduate without him, i must assume that all of those in s:ffh did, otherwise some would be in college by now, yeah?
and that’s another reason their watertight time travel is leaky af, there’s no way to get the logistics to work. the only option as such would have been to go back to 2018 and fix it, to reset time, bc otherwise there are just too many holes, it’s just not possible. but they can’t do that bc then they’ll undo all the things that happen in the future that the characters don’t want to lose, like tony’s kid.
oh, i know, it’s a superhero movie, but im strange like that, i expect a modicum of internal logic in all my movies, the bitch that i am.
okay, im gonna leave it there, ive run out of steam, and i want to gif a set. there’s a few things more, but i think you’ve gotten the gist, that i’m not a fan of this movie and a short (lol, so sorry, nothing is ever digest with me, i should’ve warned you) list of reasons why. honestly this is the first time i’ve really don’t a more general account, ive pretty much stuck to steve and that crapshute, there’s a lot of other blogs that concentrate on the other characters, i’d list a few, but i don’t have it in me rn, pop me a msg if you’re interested, also if you’re interested in some real meta, this rambling rant isn’t something that people should be exposed to honestly.
avengers: endgame was a shit movie and no amount of “he’s worthy” and “avengers assemble” is going to fix that, BUT if you enjoyed it, i don’t think less of you, obviously everyone is different, and i envy the hell out of you, i sorely wish i could’ve liked it too. the russos directed what is by far the best movie in the mcu imo, tws, and they had us all fooled, even if we probably should’ve seen it coming after iron man 4: civil war.
hope you’re having a spectacular day, sorry you had to read this if you did, and and thank you for making mine better, i really had a rant in me needing out. (you’d think i’d run out of hate for this by now, but nah.)
thank you for the ask :)
#whyisitsohardtogetoutofbed#ask#answered#anti endgame#i am sorry#i know it's awfully negative#but you asked#obviously you couldn't have been prepared for this though#so i am i bit sorry#lisa's crap#oh look a new tag#i refuse to keep tagging for spoilers#if you've still not seen it idk what to tell you#also the read more should be enough
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Hiya I love your blog and writing and was wondering if I could ask for some scenarios with Oikawa and Hanamaki with the 7 minutes in heaven prompt? Many thanks
Oikawa’s been done love!! I’ll link the piece here tho for you :) And Hanamaki?? Sweet pink boi!! Love it! Thanks for the request, love! - Admin Satori
Oikawa Tooru: 7 Minutes in Heaven Here
Hanamaki Takahiro: 7 Minutes in Heaven
“Guys, I really, really don’t want to play. It’s not that serio- HEY!” The closet door closed behind you as you were pushed in.
Was someone already in here? You’d walked into the party late, you’d brought food to make up for it… so why were they punishing you?
“Seriously! Let me out of here, what the hell!” You slapped your hand on the door, hearing the laughter and mocking beyond the wooden barrier. They were definitely making fun of you, not only of your confusion but of the waver in your voice. Were you scared of the dark?
Not usually! But when it felt like something was watching you between the folds of clothes on either side of you? 100% you were terrified and wanted out right this second. You continued to slap your hand on the door, asking to be let out - but it sounded like their voices only got further away. Matsukawa calling a brief, “Don’t be rude!” From what sounded like down the hall to you.
Why this closet, too? Didn’t it have that creepy marionette doll thing that the boys would prank you with? Moving her around the house, making you think she was real and alive or at the very least possessed? You let out an uneasy whine as you slowly turned to focus on your surroundings, “Fucking assholes….” You whimpered quietly, under your breath - not wanting the creepy ass doll to know you were absolutely scared of it.
It was cool in the closet, as well. Dark and cool. Silent, too. You could barely hear anything over your hammering heartbeat, but you knew you were the only thing making any sort of noise.
Your hand tried the handle of the door, feeling your heart leap up excitedly when it turned in your hand. But when you pushed against the door, it didn’t budge. Had they put a chair in front of the closet? Wedging you in here? Another uneasy whimper pulled from your mouth, pressing yourself as close to the door as possible. Why was this closet so creepy?
Where was the light switch? You were scared to check the nearest wall, fearing you’d feel something that didn’t belong. Another body? The smooth surface of porcelain? You didn’t want to risk it. “Darkness my old friend…” Just below a whisper, it felt like your words were eaten by the unending void around you. “Guys…. Please… Please let me out of here?” No response, “Seriously! Come on! I brought you food and you’re doing this to me?” You shifted your weight from foot to food, “Guys?”
Still nothing. No one was out there. You were all alone in a closet.
Why did this feel like grade school suddenly? Because Mattsun was such an asshole he’d been pranking you and teasing you and joking with you for as long as you could remember. Him and Hanamaki!
Speaking of…. Hanamaki was usually your spokesperson…. Where was he to save you from the dark? Had you seen him when you’d come into the apartment? Had he been in the kitchen enjoying the party or…. No, you couldn’t remember seeing him.
Had he even showed up?
“Issei! Seriously! Let me out!! I’m telling Takahiro if you don’t!”
Still nothing. If you strained your ears, maybe some faint laughter from the rooms far down the hall? Had they even heard you? Or were they still laughing at your predicament?
… Did that jacket just move?
You strained your eyes to see, making out horrifying shapes and patterns in the process - your heart leapt into your throat. It’s not real. You knew it wasn’t real. You were just scared. Just paranoid. Right?
So why did you see hands moving towards you from the right?
Screaming, you pushed the hands away, banging on the closet door now frantically, trying to get away from whatever it was that was in here with you. Heart hammering, you only screamed louder when the hands grabbed your wrists and held them tight - cold hands. A ghost? A demon? Here to haunt you? To possess you? To kill you?
Then laughter could be heard over your screams of panic. Familiar laughter.
And the fear that had been bubbling over in your chest was quickly snuffed out. Only to be replaced with anger. Embarrassed anger.
“You…You should… ahahaha! You were so scar-ahahaha Oh, my god…” Hanamaki laughed in the darkness, quickly letting go of your wrists to brace himself as he laughed heartily at your expense. You were so scared. How lowly did you think of Matsukawa and your friends to think they’d put you in a closet full of danger? He only kept laughing.
You wanted to hit him. You wanted to make him pay for making you so scared. But you stayed silent. Not amused in the situation at all. Furious to the point of silence.
The laughter subsided for a moment, and his hands found yours once more - your clenched hands. You were pissed. Hanamaki’s laughs were intermittent, every few words laced with his laughter or his humor, “Oh, don’t be mad, ______. It was a joke.” More chuckles, at your fear, “Look, I saved you, just like you wanted me to!”
A rush of blood warmed your cheeks. He’d heard you. He’d heard your threat to tell on Mattsun to him… How embarrassing. It wasn’t a stated fact that Hanamaki was always on your side, more of an unspoken ruling kind of deal…. And now that he knew you thought of it as a guarantee….. How much more fun would he poke at you?
“Fuck you, Hiro.” You muttered, pulling your hands free from his hold, blushing furiously as you crossed your arms, “I thought you were my friend.” He only laughed softly, knowing you didn’t mean it. You were just upset and embarrassed.
Hanamaki hummed, clear amusement heard in the tone of it - You wanted to push him away as he wrapped his arms around you, pulling you closer to him, playfully trying to get you to loosen up a bit. You’d been really wound tight with fear, hadn’t you? “I am your friend, ______!” He chuckled, squeezing you in his arms, trying to chip away at the block of anger that had settled as your physical being. “You’ve heard of 7 minutes in hell, right?” He shrugged, and you felt his smile in the dark; he knew what he was asking. “That’s what this is! I got chosen, and I wanted to spend the 7 minutes in hell with you!”
You bit the inside of your cheek, struggling to find the anger inside you rather than the amusement of his ‘hell’ vs’ heaven’ change. He thought he was so slick, huh? So smart to pretend this game was supposed to be scary and not romantic or at least intense. Well, it had been intense…. just…. Intensely tense.
Instead of cursing at him again, you let out a heavy sigh, relaxing in his hold. Exactly what he wanted. “It’s not supposed to be ‘hell’, Hiro.. It’s supposed to be ‘heaven’.”
“Hm.. I don’t think so, ______. Because then I’d have done this wrong. And we both know, I’m never wrong.” The smirk in his voice was so prominent you could feel it. You couldn’t tell if you wanted to push him away or kiss him silly… Why did you want anything to do with someone so mean? Stupid crush’s. “And if I’m wrong… Then maybe I can make it right somehow…”
You scoffed, “I don’t think you can reverse a heart attack, thanks.”
He laughed quietly, the moment of fear and panic subsiding, your heart only remaining the same increased beat due to his arms still being around you - his chest now against yours after you’d uncrossed your arms. So very close. He was so warm. “Ye of little faith-“
“Don’t use ole English on me.”
“-I can add years to your life that the heart attack took away!”
Raising your eyebrow, you slowly wrapped your arms around him, returning his hug, feeling his heart slamming against his own chest pressed against yours. Well, sort of. You were tall enough to come to his chin.. So you could probably hear his fast heartbeat better than you could feel it… But you didn’t want to lay your head on his chest just yet…. He was playing more games, and you were interested in seeing what the end prizes were.
But adding years? “Oh, yeah? How so-“
You squeaked in surprise when his lips pressed against yours. You definitely hadn’t been expecting it, and the dark of the closet had given him enough cover to lean in while you were questioning his science. Though, it was dark enough that he was lucky to have landed on your lips. He’d been worried of accidentally kissing your nose or chin… that would have been awkward.
Sweet, soft lips moved against yours, and you quickly melted into the kiss - his hands holding you close. Then he was pulling away just as you were daydreaming of your future with him, smiling proudly when you rested your chin on his sternum, as if you were showing you were available for any more kisses if he so chose to give them to you. “Looking back on this will definitely make you laugh, so there’s your added years.”
A/N: Hanamaki is 1000% OOC and I have no idea how to fix it… so… hehe…. enjoy
#Admin Satori#Haikyuu!!#Haikyuu!! Scenario#Hanamaki Takahiro#Character Challenge!#7 Minutes in Heaven#7 Minutes in Hell
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Seeds AU
It feels rather OOC to me but I like fluffy angst so here's the (VERY UNBETA'D AND FIRST/ONLY DRAFT) answer to your question, @welcometothelosingside. Apologies for not knowing when the fuck to use “breath”/”breathe.”
BTW, as a general shout out, all my fics are open to remixing so long as I'm tagged and/or my work is linked to them.
He knocked when he arrived at Molly’s door; perhaps the first time he’d ever actually knocked on her door. He couldn’t quite remember actually deciding to come to Molly’s but he was here now and he needed to see her. Needed to know she was alive and well and that they would survive this. Together. But he would do it on her terms for once. He did not have the right to let himself into her home. He had done enough. He knocked again, louder this time, called with a broken voice to let her know who it was—though once he’d announced himself he wasn’t sure if knowing who was standing on her front stoop would make her fear him more or less.
The soft padding of her footfalls were so quiet he thought he might be hallucinating her approach at first (he still had an awful lot of tranquilizers in his system along with the lack of sleep and unimaginable levels of stress). And then the door opened to a sleep soaked, red eyed pathologist. She did not open the door as she normally did. It was not an open invitation, she did not open it and walk away, trusting in him to let himself in and lock the door behind him. No, today he saw only a sliver of her form through the crack of her doorway, her cried out eyes not meeting his, her entire form curling for self preservation.
"Molly," the name spilled brokenly from his lips. He had not thought there was an ounce of him left to shatter yet here he was, on Molly Hooper's doorstep, breaking all over again.
"What do you want Sherlock?"
His jaw worked uselessly for a long moment, so many words vying for freedom. Until he finally murmured quietly, "May I come in?" The deafening silence stretched on and on and prompted him to add, "This may take a while."
Molly tucked her face away from view on the other side of the door and Sherlock's entire form lurched forward with the gut wrenching fear that Molly might close this door on him--them. He couldn't breath. He couldn't breath.
And then she was stepping away from the door, a sucked in breath of panic before she slowly opened the door, using it as a shield as he entered. He tucked his hands behind his back to hide their shaking and the nervous fidgeting, entering with slow deliberation as if attempting not to spook a beaten dog--though whether Molly or himself was the dog in the metaphor was rather up for debate.
As he carefully removed his shoes and coat and gloves, feeling like he was trying to stretch out every single second he could. It was an all to real thought at the forefront of his mind that these could be his last moments in the sanctuary of Molly's home. He took in the strong, pleasant scent of fresh lemons; the much fainter traces of chemicals from the lab and mortuary that followed Molly wherever she went; the traces of catnip--though strangely faded as if Molly had not been spoiling Toby as she was wont to. He catalogued it all, desperate to retain it all, to keep it for himself if he was never to return.
He cursed as he tried for the fifth time to get hold of a finger of his glove to pull it off. His hands were shaking so badly and his eyes were blurry with tears again he couldn't get hold of the rich leather. And then Molly was just there as she always was in his time of need--however great or small.
Gently, she took each hand in turn, tugging gently until one glove then the other were free of him, tucking them safely into the pocket of his Belstaff. The gentle touch of her warm, faintly calloused fingers on his skin as she worked them free was grounding and made something desperate and aching spark to life in his chest.
Oh god, he loved her.
"I have a sister." It came from nowhere. He hadn't really known where he intended to start but that hardly seemed a good place.
"You never told me." She said simply, still holding his shaking hands in her own steady ones, her sad, sad eyes on his busted knuckle.
"Neither did I." He tried to make it sound light, tried to keep the smile on his lips though it trembled badly and his voice nearly broke as it crashed upon the words.
Molly looked up sharply, surprise casting away the empty eyed sorrow. Then she gives a little nod and says simple, blessedly familiar words, "I'll get the first aid kit."
And this time, when she turns away, he doesn't feel like the world is ending. For the first time, he feels the edges of ease brushing against his shattered reality. He takes up the familiar place on her comfy couch, pats his lap reflexively to encourage Toby before he notices the cat still hasn't come to harass him for affection and scraps from whatever Molly usually feeds him when he takes up residence in his favorite bolthole. It shouldn't bother him as much as it does considering how much of a nuisance the little beast can be. At any rate, he's always preferred dogs--
He suddenly feels like he's going to be sick and has to put his head between his knees rather quickly as the fabricated memories crash violently with the recently resurrected reality. He comes slowly back to the present with a soothing voice in his ear and a little warm hand running up and down his back. He can't even make sense of Molly's words for a long while but it still helps.
She gets him to breath with her; deep breathe in, hold, slow breathe out. Again and again until he feels light headed and grounded. She moves to sit on the coffee table beside the familiar first aid kit (which at this point is more a paramedic or surgeons kit than something the average person would keep forgotten under the bathroom sink). The sting of antiseptic and the bite of splinters pulling from his skin are grounding. He feels safe in her hands. He always feels safe with Molly.
"Thank you." He murmurs, though she's not nearly done cleaning up the damage he's done to himself. And god doesn't that ring a little too true of their relationship.
She glaces up from her work with eyes that have always seen him in ways no one else can, "Does your sister…does she--does she have something to do with…" She doesn't finish--can't finish.
Sherlock gives a stilted nod and swallows several times before he answers, "It was a test." And then it's all just spilling out of him. It's not linear or sensical and Sherlock doesn't know if Molly can make sense of any of it--but frankly, he can barely make sense of it himself. He gets too loud and too quiet and he's shaking then deathly still and it sounds even madder actually saying it all out loud than it ever did actually living through it all but he can't stop. He can't stop now that it's all coming out. He can feel himself trying to avoid The Call, can feel himself trying to find logic and reason and some sort of justification for it as he tells every bit of the story but that part until there's nothing left to tell.
"There was a coffin." He begins after a heavy lull filled with the knowing there's nothing left but this. He's shaking again and though he's been flitting around her living room since he began, now he returns to his seat and takes Molly's hands in his own bandaged ones. He can't do this without the reassurance that she's alive and whole and here. And Molly, bless her a thousand times, lets him, though she seems hesitant in it.
This does not spill from him with the same harried, panicked, messiness of the rest. This is careful and shaking; each word delicate and desperate.
"I couldn't risk it. I couldn't risk you, Molly." He dares to bring her knuckles up to his lips and holds them there as he whispers a broken, "I'm so sorry." He closes his eyes and presses his lips to her skin, more tears spilling from his eyes and onto her hands as he closes them against the overwhelming intensity of his second apology to her; sick with himself for always getting this wrong.
He thinks he's made the whole thing painfully clear until he opens his eyes and looks at the woman he loves across the hills of her knuckles only to find a strained, hurt smile on her face. It's too familiar to him. It's the smile of Molly Hooper taking rejection with grace.
"I understand." She says to his horror, voice soft and choked, "You did what you had to, Sherlock.--"
He can't listen to the rest, his heart rebels against the pain in her, "No, you don't." He says firmly and does not leave enough time or room for more misunderstandings, "I love you, Molly Hooper."
And even though it's the third time he's said it, it still leaves him feeling like every atom in his body is tingling with the truth of it--with the joy of it, even now in their darkest hour.
Until she recoils as if he's struck her, "You don't have to do this, Sherlock. I'm not Janine--"
"I love you, Molly." He says again, firmly. With every iteration, his confidence in these words grows. So he says it again and again and again--because he can, because he's making up for lost time, because Molly deserves to hear them for the rest of her life, because there's still doubt in her eyes and he put it there.
Her eyes spill over with tears and she sobs, shaking her head against it, "Stop."
So he does, because he'd decided to do this on her terms and he'll keep that silent promise--he'll keep as many promises as he can to Molly from now on. In the silence, he presses his lips to the knuckles he still has held in his hands again and again and again. He can't let Molly go thinking his love is a lie. If she decides he has no place in her life--in her heart--it will not be because she thinks him false in this.
"Why are you doing this?" She asks through a quiet sob, "Do you think you--you owe me this? Is it pity?--" She spits out the word and it spurs Sherlock to the edge of his seat, crowding into Molly's space. He wants to wipe the spilling tears from her cheeks, to hold her face in his hands, to pull her close, to do something but he knows he isn't welcome yet. He hasn't earned that closeness yet, he isn't entitled to her.
So he holds her hands tighter and speaks desperately, "It's the truth. It isn't pity or a favor--it's the truth. Just the truth." He begins rubbing his thumb across her knuckles, "I know you have no reason to believe me. I know I've been an absolute cock since--well since the day we met. And…and maybe I'm too late. Maybe I've realized things too late, maybe I've made too much of a mess, maybe you can't forgive me for the way I've treated you--and I wouldn't blame you, not one bit. Whatever you decide, I'll understand, I'll accept it, I swear to you I will respect whatever you decide but--but I can't--I can't," he pinches his eyes closed and bows his head, pressing his forehead to her knuckles--it's the only tether he has to her now and it feels impossibly important to keep hold of her any way he can. He takes a calming breathe and looks into Molly's brown eyes, "I love you, Molly Hooper, and that's that. You deserve a better man--not a junky with the emotional capacity of a cactus," Molly gives a single, wet, almost laugh, "but I love you and you have a right to know. And quite frankly I've had the urge to shout it from the roof tops since I finally figured it all out." It's Sherlock's turn to give a wet little almost laugh, though his is tinged with self conscious nerves.
But for the first time, there is a faint light of belief in her eyes and Sherlock grasps desperately to the hope of that light in her eyes.
"Molly Hooper," was there a more pleasant name in all the world to speak? "Would you like to have coffee?" He echoed the first time Molly had asked him out with purpose. If she wanted to reject him as he had, she had an easy out and he'd accept it. God he hoped she said yes.
"It's two in the morning, Sherlock." But there was the beginnings of a hesitant little smile on Molly's face.
"Fish and chips then. I know a place. Gives me extra portions."
"Ah yes, Sherlock the carpenter."
"Handyman, really."
It was still watery but the up tilt of her lips was a balm to his soul.
"Everything isn't fixed, Sherlock."
He nodded quickly, "Yes, yes, I know. I've a lot to make up for and I don't really know what I'm doing--"
"There are going to be arguments and bad days."
"Yes, I know. I know."
"And I haven't… I'm not sure I completely believe all this yet."
Sherlock nods mutely, halfway bracing himself for rejection, eyes on their joined hands. He holds his breathe when Molly pulls one of her hands free of his until it comes to his cheek and gentles his gaze upwards, "I love you, Sherlock." He feels like she's punched him in the gut but it's still a bizarrely pleasant feeling.
And then she's pressing her lips to his and it's just impossibly better.
They don't have sex, though for the first time, Sherlock understands why people desire it beyond procreation and stress relief. Instead they kiss and hold each other. There are so many different kinds of kisses. Intellectually, Sherlock has known this. The way people kiss in public can tell him all sorts of things about a relationship. But actually experiencing all these shades of love and affection and heart break behind closed doors and within the confines of his own skin is a world apart from what he knows.
Molly's bed feels like a sanctuary from reality. It's safe and warm, and Molly is soft and gentle, and it feels like coming hope--like he can breathe for the first time in a lifetime. Tucked close together in their jimjams, Sherlock melts around Molly and gently into his first restful sleep in months.
There is a moment of panic when he jerks wakes. The bed is empty, the apartment quiet, and Sherlock thinks he's in a break away room in the middle of a field with a little girl on the phone for a bone rattling moment of panic. Then a note crunches under his hand and reality comes into focus.
You sleep like the dead. Gone to work. Leftovers in the oven.
-Love, Molly
He is inexplicably delighted by the hurriedly penned note as he flops back into bed, rolls into Molly's space, and buries his face in her pillow to breath her deep into his rattled bones. He falls back into a light doze before his body is finally sick of sleep. He shuffles to Molly's kitchen, finds the heating instructions taped to the oven, and--for once--follows them instead of just eating the contents cold.
It isn't until he's had a shower and is half way through dressing back into his jimjams that he realizes he still hasn't been accosted by Toby. Frowning, Sherlock begins his search for the pest.
Only Toby's bowls are missing as are his toys and litter box and for a heart pounding while he thinks the cat has died and Molly hasn't told him--how distant have they become if Molly hadn't shared that with him! Only, once he opens his eyes to all manner of clues to Toby's disappearance, he realizes there are a great deal more changes to Molly's life than just her missing cat.
It isn't just his low blood sugar and shock that's made him feel chilly, the thermostat was set several degrees cooler than she used to keep it. There are fine layers of dust in places, unusual for Molly's meticulous house keeping. There are several plants that are beginning to show signs of despairing for water--again, unusually for Molly's green thumb and great attentiveness to all the living things in her home. Everywhere he turns he sees more and more signs of Molly's increasingly regular absences from her home.
He wandered through her house, startled to realize just how much of Molly Hooper’s life he’d been missing. There's a gym bag that was once filled with practical work out attire, several water bottles, healthy snacks, and a small toiletry kit that is now filled with nearly a week's worth of work clothes. At the desk that had once housed medical journals, theories and experiments she had floating about her head, ideas for papers, observations that niggled at her curiosity, stacks and stacks of notes and ongoing studies she was waiting to publish or peer review; there was now a completely different kind of meticulously organized chaos.
On the wall where there had once been a cork board full of a thousand different color post its with the occasionally interesting pictures of decaying flesh, there was now only one massive calendar. Rosie’s pediatric appoints, sitter schedule, and social outings. John’s therapy appointments accompanied by notes to double check he’d actually gone, his work schedule, his visits to Mary. Mrs. Hudson’s baby sitting availability and holidays. Mary’s check up dates and visitation hours. A dozen video conferences for that month alone at the oddest hours (he recognized a few rather impressive names—a Swiss pediatrician, and two different brain trauma specialists from Korea and Egypt). Endless notes to trade shifts with people, sitter availability scheduled then scratched out then rescheduled then scratched out again and again. Notes on John’s mental state, notes on Mary’s progress (or lack there of), notes on Rosie’s milestones. Across the desk were basic books on childcare and more advanced medical journals on the early signs and symptoms of what looked to be any and every plague known to half-pint kind.
There were journals on brain damage from blood loss—long and short term effects, the chances of waking from various types of comas, possibilities of loss of some cognitive functions, the effects and stages of muscle atrophy, how to prevent and recover from atrophy, even a copy of Mary’s charts which she really shouldn’t have had access to—there were journals on PTSD and depression, but most crushing of all, there were journals on the long term effects of opioid abuse. In these, there were detailed notes and criticisms. In one in particular, there was a half written letter of courteous fury tucked between pages dictating in clipped tones exactly what Molly Hooper thought the author could do with his judgmental pity.
That your patients feel the need to self-medicate may stem from deeper problems than their implied lack of morals you have inexplicably ascribed to sobriety. I would highly recommend you begin the search for the root cause with your bedside manner, sir.
Sherlock couldn’t help the fragile little chuckle that left him at that. Though hardly anyone respected her own title, Molly only ever denied using a fellow doctor’s title when she was right and truly pissed. But it was still hard to see all this—the evidence of Molly’s efforts to care for people on all fronts. He carefully removed the calendar from its little nail in the wall and began to turn back the clock. Through meticulous, color coded notes, Sherlock watched John’s downward spiral; watched Rosie’s various ear infections, a UTI, a brief bout of pneumonia, and some very angry penmanship beside a sitter’s name explicitly reminding herself to never call the boy ever again; watched Molly Hooper put the whole of her life on hold for her friends.
Worst of all was the discovery of an innocent little journal. It’s tan cover was plush with yellow, pink, and blue whimsical designs sewn into the fake leather. It was a baby journal dedicated to Mary.
To Mary, with all our love.
I know it’s not the same as having been here but I hope this helps.
-Papa Watson, Baby Rosie, and Godmum Molly
Sherlock would be rather surprised if John knew a thing about this journal tracking his child’s progress through life. The man was barely functional these days. Even if Molly had told him, there was hardly a guarantee John had heard her. As Sherlock flipped through the pages, he found Molly’s meticulous nature put to good (although sometimes a bit graphic use—he was fairly certain Mary would be quite a bit less than heart broken to have missed the misadventures of Rosie Watson’s constipation) use. But the further along he got, the more often he noticed the entries reading less like fastidious accounts of Rosie Watson’s days and more like private letters to a friend and sometimes even as near to a diary as he could ever imagine Molly keeping.
He felt heavy with the extent of it all, had to sit and bow his head in shame as the weight of realization fell up on his shoulders. Molly wrote a journal to a friend in a coma because she hadn't anyone else to talk to--to share her burdens with. It was colder because she was barely living here, no use heating an empty home. Toby was not dead, he had been given up to a coworker so he could be properly cared for and loved in Molly's constant absence. Her fridge was empty of it's usual selection of fresh ingredients for the next few meals but full of prepackaged, pre-made, store bought meals. Molly had an overnight bag to last her a week because she was holding everyone's world together nearly singlehandedly. And perhaps worst of all, Molly Hooper’s work—the thing she had loved longest in the world, long before she knew a whisper of Sherlock Holmes—had been relegated to a corner, collecting dust as she struggled to keep not only her own head above water, but everyone else’s as well. And despite her best efforts, she was drowning.
She was drowning and no one had even noticed.
Shame washed over him, hot and cold. He'd spent so many hours the night before proclaiming his love for her but he'd missed this--missed all this.
Unacceptable.
It was a single thought with a mountain's certainty behind it. He had promised he'd do better. He couldn't change what he'd done--that shame would follow him for the rest of his life, he suspected--but he could do something now. And the certainty of that determination straightened his spine and set his jaw. He could do better--he would do better.
Molly Hooper deserved a better man and Sherlock might not ever be that man, but he could damn well try.
#Seeds of Change#au#fanfic#sherlolly#first draft#I can't believe I wrote all this in one setting?!#like how#my writing
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Gotham s4e14 - The Sinking Ship, The Grand Applause
As I watched it, and some random observations here and there.
Previously on Gotham:
Oswald faked Martin’s death to keep him safe. Jim arrested Oswald for his murder. Victor is a lying traitor. Sofia played Jim for a dupe. I screwed up, Harve. Oh – Jesus – no, not the bit with Lee’s hand again. Ivy’s brief reign of terror. Oswald uses Riddler to plan an escape
As always, long post will be long. There are likely to be rambling digressions. Gobblepot might appear (although I welcome all shippers and non-shippers alike :)). There will be naked favouritism and naked not-favouritism. Broader comments at the end on plotlines and parallels and general direction.
An abandoned-looking house in the city. Martin sits with his back against the fireplace, guarded by hulking men, at whom he stares balefully while sketching them hanged in his little pad. As he turns the page to start a fresh sketch, he finds the next page has a message.
Do you want to escape?
He looks round quickly before reading and following the rest of the instructions. Going into an equally abandoned looking kitchen on the pretence of using the bathroom, he turns the gas on, and returns to the living room.
The men quickly smell gas. Martin smiles. They pull their guns before going to check more. The next message in Martin’s pad tells him to plug his ears. As he does, we see a missile glide through the kitchen window. There’s a huge explosion in the kitchen. Martin sees a figure emerging from the smoke in the hall who turns out to be Ed. ‘Uncle Penguin’ sent him, and now they’re going to get ice cream.
Cherry’s is under new management. In the ring in the centre of the club, we see Samson brutally beating a man. There’s not much in the way of cheering. Lee approaches cautiously, a hood covering her face.
Samson is boasting about how he’s in charge and he collects protection. We see the man’s terrified family watching from the crowd. He begs Samson,
Please, my family…..
Samson replies
Do I look like an animal?
He tells the man he won’t hurt his family, and promptly shoots him in the head. His family scream and surge towards the ring, horrified.
In the crowd – Lee is aghast. She leaves quietly.
GCPD. Harvey and Jim are in what is now Jim’s office. I wonder if Jim considers how much it might gall Harvey to sit in that office on the other side of the desk, given the circumstances?
Jim tells Harvey that before Don Falcone died, he warned him that he had no idea what he had brought to the city. Jim says he knows now that he was talking about Pyg. Jim says someone must have told him about Pyg, and that person also has evidence linking Sofia to Pyg.
Harvey asks Jim why he doesn’t just come forward with what he has. Jim wriggles, and says that it would just be his word against Sofia’s. Harvey’s visibly impatient with him, and says he’s just afraid that it will bring him down too. Jim says Harvey can be pissed at him, but that this is bigger than both of them.
He puts Harvey’s badge on the table and says he needs to know he can count on him. I dunno, Jim, I think you were still wearing your badge when you screwed Harvey over, so I don’t really think it’s a magical talisman, or anything.
Harvey takes the badge and says he hopes they take down Sofia – but he still wants Jim to pay. He adds that he knows a former Falcone assassin, the Scandinavian Skinner, and he wants to go find them. Jim makes to rise from his chair to join him, but Harvey brushes him off.
(An aside. This is the set-up for the later revelation that Mr Penn was apparently a crucial mole that the narrative never for a moment hinted at back in the first half of the season. It’s several kinds of lazy. It also ruins that lovely line of Carmine’s
You have no idea what you’ve brought to this city
At the time, that line sounded like it was about Sofia (I suspect it was, tbh, and this is a retcon to fill a plot hole). Carmine was finally acknowledging how dangerous his daughter was – out of her earshot, and right before she killed him. It carried a lot of weight. Now – it’s some stupid reference to Pyg, who Carmine apparently knew about all along. There, too, goes Jim and Harvey’s (and the show’s) weird notion that Carmine Falcone had some better code of honour than the other criminals. If he knew about Pyg and did nothing, then he was complicit.)
At Wayne Manor, there is a ruckus in the kitchen. Cans of food are rolling across the floor. Bruce approaches warily to find Selina rifling through cupboards, looking for something to eat. She said she needs help. Bruce clarifies that she needs money. She wants to get back something she fenced. Bruce asks why she doesn’t ask Barbara Kean, but Selina says she doesn’t want Barbara involved.
She promises him she’ll pay him back, and tells him that it’s the stuff she took from Roland Charles. Bruce realises she feels bad and tells her he’ll get the money. He also tells her there’s oatmeal cookies in the blue tin. He leaves, and Selina smiles – but still seems troubled.
At Arkham, a yelling Oswald is being dragged to some kind of guard’s station, where he’s told he has a message. We can see what looks like lots of Victorian maids in the background. Maybe that will be relevant later in Jerome and Jervis’ breakout.
The guard delivers a riddle, the answer to which is ‘knuckle sandwich’. Oswald receives a whopping punch in the face.
Harvey enters a delicatessen. We hear children laughing and playing, looking at sweets
Hello Agnes
The Skinner, it turns out, is an old lady – who tells Bullock she’s now retired. She looks away from him briefly to tell the children not to ruin their dinner. They promise her – apparently their grandma – that they won’t
Harvey says they’re looking for someone who might have acted as Falcone's eyes and ears when he was down south. She asks why she should tell him. He says they have a history, but she remarks that ‘history’ got her four years in a gulag.
Harvey threatens to tell her grandchildren about her past, and goes so far as to call to the children. She caves fast. She says Falcone only ever trusted the book-keeper who smelled of fish – but she heard he vanished. Harvey leaves.
(An aside. It’s debatable whether he would have gone through with it, but having Harvey use the woman’s grandchildren as a threat seemed ooc unsympathetic for him.
Was ‘Agnes Skinner’ a Simpsons reference?)
At the Falcone mansion, Sofia is throwing a tantrum about Martin’s disappearance. She sends Victor to Arkham to kill Oswald – knowing that this is the only leverage she has over him. Victor asks if he can take HeadHunter. Sofia doesn’t care, as long as Oswald dies choking on his own blood.
Harvey is also at Arkham, asking for Oswald. He finds him in the infirmary. Oswald sits up when he approaches – not clear whether this is somehow part of the escape plan. Harvey tells him (sarcastically? Not sure. Sometimes there’s an odd amiability in cop/criminal encounters in this show – but Harvey is generally angry in this episode) that it’s good to see him.
There’s a scream outside. Harvey runs out to investigate. It’s Victor and HH, looking for Oswald. Victor remarks that he though Bullock stopped being a cop, but it clearly didn’t take. He reintroduces HH to Harvey as Wendell.
Harvey tells them to walk away – but Victor says they can't. They draw their guns. I’m still generally cross at Victor – but good god those shoulder holsters do things to me.
Victor tells Harvey to step aside and he can live to get drunk another day. (this is the weird kind of amiability and sense of an actual relationship I was referring to earlier).
Suddenly, alarms start to go off. Harvey looks back. Victor and Wendell decide to try again later. An announcement comes over the tannoy system that Oswald has escaped. Harvey runs back into the infirmary. Patients there are yelling and hitting their own heads at the sound of the alarm, because this show’s depiction of Arkham just continues to plumb new depths every damn time.
Harvey looks out the window. He sees Oswald heading for a van, and Ed, leaping about like a giant grasshopper, shooting his gun into the air
Nygma
(An aside – we never actually hear how Ed broke Oswald out, because it doesn’t really make any sense that Oswald couldn’t manage it alone. He survived on his wits alone in season one – Oswald managed to negotiate his way out of a car that was seconds away from being crushed. He bested Ed last season. He managed to wrangle success from the Tetch virus mess. But to shove the plot along, he’s handed the idiot ball here.)
My wrists hurt and this bit was not wildly interesting. Bruce and Selina go back to the shop where she fenced the stolen goods, get into a big fight, make up, flirt a little, and then leave.
A street on the Narrows. Ed says he knew that Sofia would send hitmen when she learned Martin was gone. Oswald anxiously asks how he is. Ed says he’s snug as a bug in a rug. Oswald’s face lights up to hear that Martin is safe.
Ed hands Oswald his hat, and wants to boast about how he found Martin, which somehow involved Victor loving disco and Ed dressing up as an old Polish woman. Oswald, however, is not interested – and says they need a powerbase to fight Sofia. Ed smiles and says he knows – loosening his tie.
A makeshift office somewhere in the Narrows, where Lee is sitting at a desk. The door opens, and she pulls a gun – understandably wary. It’s Ed – posing as whatever iteration of himself he was before, I’ve virtually given up at this point. Lee smiles – genuinely happy to see him.
You're back. How are you doing?
Worlds better
He spots her hand, and asks what happened to it. There’s an interesting little break here. His voice when he asks the question is feigned – because he’s still pretending to be old Ed, but that only serves to underline the contrast with him quickly noticing that something had happened to her hand, and the look of concern, which seem genuine in comparison.
Lee said that Sofia smashed her hand with a hammer.
Together we can get that bitch back. She can't take everything we built.
Ed straightens his tie and calls to Oswald, saying that Lee can’t help them. A confused Lee asks what’s happening. Oswald tells her about their deal.
I let him out of his cage, he let me out of mine
Lee stares at Ed.
You're him. The Riddler
Ed stares back at her as he puts his hat on. Lee looks him up and down.
He says was hoping she was still running The Narrows and could help – but he guesses not. He’s still staring at her saying this and straightening his tie, even as Oswald tugs on his sleeve, and impatiently asks what they’re going to do now.
Walking away from the desk, Ed says he has a backup plan. He wants Victor Fries to put Oswald in a block of ice, and to offer him as a gift to Sofia – like a trojan horse. Oswald laughs incredulously and tells him to try again.
Lee walks over to them, and tells them to let her help. They continue to bicker and ignore her. She looks indignantly at Ed. Lee was infuriated to be overlooked during the Tetch debacle, too – so her annoyance here is consistent with her character.
You think I can't handle it
I know you can't
Lee holds up her hand. Ed’s eyes are again conflicted when confronted with her injury.
Look what she did to me. I will pull the trigger on that bitch myself
Ed says that’s tough talk, but only talk.
An impatient Oswald stops their squabbling, and says that they need muscle. Lee smiles and agrees with him
I can tell you where to look.
They both start paying attention to her. Ed and Lee decide to lock eyes again.
Don't you think he misses you?
As she says this, she smiles at Ed, who catches on and smiles back. Oswald asks who she’s talking about. Neither acknowledges his question.
(An aside. There’s quite a lot in that scene. Ed superficially discounts Lee’s usefulness in the scheme to oust Sofia, since she’s lost The Narrows – but there was an awful lot of conflicted glancing at her hand. In fact, there was an awful lot of staring at each other in general. The smiles they shared at the end were also private – reminding us that they now have a close relationship and shared history.)
Ed is in the sewer, yelling for Grundy – saying he’s his best friend and pal, and smart again, and generally prancing about, enjoying the fact that there’s an echo. Ed is such an ass.
Butch approaches him. Ed condescendingly tells him he’s corralling allies to kill Sofia, and they need
A galoot like you for cannon fodder
He frowns, realising Butch looks different, and asks why he’s looking at him like that. Butch growls
Oh dear.
Butch says he’s not the only one who got smart. Ed fumbles saying that he helped him
Ed put out fire. Ed help Grundy
Butch says he’s not Ed anymore, and he’s not Grundy.
Back at Lee's. She’s relaxed, feet on the desk, waiting for Ed to come back to move on to the next stage of the plan. Oswald, meantime, is pacing, convinced that Ed has betrayed him already.
Lee tells him to calm down. Oswald snaps not to tell him to calm down, she has no idea what he’s been through. Lee calmly tells him that Ed will be here, and they will make Sofia pay. Interestingly, Lee doesn’t seem wary of the Riddler persona at all. The trust she has for Ed carries over – which raises the question of whether Lee now simply sees him as an integrated persona.
An agitated Oswald says he can't wait, and storms out. Lee rolls her eyes.
Jim and Harvey walking down a street in the Narrows. Harvey is wondering aloud how Ed got in touch with Oswald anyway. It’s called a plot contrivance, Harvey.
Jim looks annoyingly crisp and smart in his suit when I'm still mad at him. He’s told Harvey that the best way to find Oswald and Ed is to find Lee. As they head down the street, Oswald approaches. Jim and Harvey draws their guns
Or we could talk to Oswald right now
Oswald smashes a bottle and points it at them in warning. He asks what they’re doing there.
Harvey says they’re looking for an Arkham escapee, about so tall, limp, and a mommy complex.
Oswald manages to look so livid that he’s tearful
(An aside - Go take a fuck to yourself, Harvey. What on earth was that nastiness about? Aside from being mean and unnecessary – it’s not really in-character for Harvey. His first comment on encountering Oswald at the big showdown with Theo – in the midst of all the mayhem – was to tell Oswald he was ‘sorry about his mom’. So what’s this?)
Oswald tells Jim that the trumped up charges he used to put him away have lost their teeth – Martin is safe and well. Jim says if that’s the case, then produce him.
(An aside – Wow, Jim is capable of some mental contortions. So, he probably didn’t think Oswald actually killed Martin, but decided that the accusation was enough to justify arresting him, and even though he likely didn’t really believe the accusation himself, fell back on needing evidence to exonerate him)
Oswald quickly retorts no – Martin’s not safe until Sofia has been dealt with
Jim looks wide-eyed at Oswald’s statement. Why would he be surprised that Oswald wants revenge on Sofia? Anyway.
I think you and I both want the same thing, Oswald. We both want Sofia to go away.
(An aside – he’s falling back on the same line he used with Harvey: ‘yes I fucked up, but hey, we both have bigger fish to fry, so please forgive me and let’s not dwell on my fuck up’
Oswald says if that’s the case
Then turn around and walk away - let me do what I do
Jim can’t have that, though – he wants her in jail
Harvey and Jim mention Penn, and Oswald's eyes bulge with rage. He screams incoherently
That little weasel was working for her
Harvey tells him Penn worked for Carmine for years, and tells Oswald he needs to address his management style. Oswald isn’t listening, on another level of rage now, chanting to himself.
I’m gonna kill him
Jim approaches him, lowering his gun.
Oswald, Oswald - calm down.
Bizarrely, after everything that’s gone on between them– and there is a lot of everything – Jim’s voice manages to break through Oswald’s rage, and Oswald makes eye contact. Jim says they can make a deal. If Oswald tells them where to find Penn, then he’ll let him walk away.
There’s a long pained look, before Oswald says.
I don't believe you
(I ship this - so you can take it or leave it - but imo, part of Oswald looking pained in that moment was because he wants so much to trust Jim, and hates that he now can’t immediately do that)
Harvey interrupts and says that Sofia sent Victor to Arkham to kill him. She runs the Narrows now, and she’ll find him.
Jim and Oswald look at each other. Oswald drops his bottle and they face each other without weapons. Apparently there’s a specialist spa that Penn visits, and he’s probably hiding there.
Oswald walks past them. As he does, Jim says his name. He turns to face him. Oswald’s face looks raw and vulnerable. Jim actually manages a sincere thank-you, and extends his hand.
Oswald’s face softens, and he looks down at Jim’s hand, and - taking it – smiles.
Unfortunately Harvey Interruptus chooses this time to start going by the book, and cuffs him
Oswald yells they had a deal. Jim asks Harvey what he's doing, and Harvey says he didn’t agree to anything. Oswald yells as they walk away.
Lee watches from the shadows
As they get to the car, Oswald is still furious, but Jim tells him to relax, and that if the Penn info is good then he’ll still be rid of Sofia.
Victor and Wendell appear across the street. Jim quickly shoves Oswald into the car, which was technically protective, and so I’m taking it as a shippy moment and you can’t stop me.
Victor apparently has the sharpest hearing in the world, since he heard them mention Penn’s name from across the road. There’s a bit of back and forth, where they realise Penn is important.
A big shoot out happens, during which Lee swoops in and steals Oswald and the car. Victor and Wendell shoot after her before giving up. Jim tells Harvey they need to find Penn, and also need to find a car.
(An aside - Oh, Oswald. Your easy forgiveness here makes my fic writing life much much easier, but…sweetie, really. You have a very big Jim Gordon shaped blind spot. Between this, and calming down when Jim spoke to him, and making a beeline for him when he was infected with the fear serum, it seems that Oswald still sees Jim as a ‘safe’ person.)
At Sirens, Barbara has a terrible, terrible headache. She throws back a pill as Tabitha approaches, asking if it’s another migraine. Barbara nods, before asking what that stink is.
It’s Butch approaching, dragging Ed. There’s some back and forth nastiness, where Barbara realises that Butch is himself again. Which, interestingly, means that Tabitha didn’t share that information. Out of a sense of shame at her response to him? Wanting to protect him? Not having as close a relationship with Barbara anymore?
Butch tells them that Ed tried to recruit him to fight Sofia, so he brought him to Tabitha as a gift, after the whole hand amputation business. Why does this show hate hands so much? Oswald got a brooch pin through his, Butch got his cut off with a machete, Ed guillotined Tabitha’s, and Lee got hers mangled.
Anyway, Butch turns to leave. Tabitha calls after him
Don't just walk away again
What? Why wouldn’t he? Tabitha’s response to his reaffirming his feelings for her made pretty clear that she wasn’t interested anymore – and she didn’t complain when he left last time. Are we supposed to have forgotten that? I start to share Barbara’s headache.
Butch promises Tabitha that he’ll find a way to get back to what he was. Like – seriously, aside from the hair and skin, what’s the big problem here? Why is Butch living in the sewer, anyway? Some foundation and hair dye and he’s good to go. Butch, 99% of your trouble here is that your sleeves are too short and give you that weird ‘monster suit’ look. Just go see a tailor.
Butch leaves, kicking Ed as he does so. Tabitha watches him. Tabitha is wearing a seriously terrible satin shirt with weird, weird sleeves. If anyone should be living in the sewer, far from society’s gaze, it’s her in that shirt.
Barbara, meantime, grabs her head again – almost collapsing against the bar. Tabitha asks if she’s OK. Well – clearly not, Tabitha. Barbara says they should send him back to Sofia. She’ll torture him, Lee’s allies are gone, the rebellion is quelled. Once Sofia doesn’t need Ed, she’ll kill him. Same end result, less work.
(An aside – sorry, not remotely believable that Tabitha would pass up the chance to torture Ed herself. She’s generally sadistic, and enjoys torture – and she loathes Ed for what he did to her and Butch. But now she’ll hand him over? Nope.)
Back at the Falcone mansion, Sofia is pissed to hear that Oswald isn’t dead yet. She’s dialling the phone when Victor mentions Penn’s name, and goes very still. She says they have to find Penn before Gordon does. Victor asks which to prioritise, and she tells them to do both.
(An aside. Sofia’s temper and demands in this episode are another nice parallel with Oswald. It’s a reminder that the relationship was worth exploring and keeping a little more grey in terms of their similarities and understanding.)
Back at some location in The Narrows, Oswald thanks Lee for coming to his rescue. Lee tells him not to bother, she needs him to get to Sofia. Well, at least she's honest with him. Oswald sarcastically replies
Touching
Oswald can't believe they’re doing this without Ed and Butch – this plan will likely get him killed. Ah – so they’re at Victor Fries’ lair. Lee says she doesn't care, as long as it puts Sofia in the ground, and Oswald's jaw drops.
Victor F enters the room. Now my jaw drops, because good God, is Victor F in fine shape. He’s also cross at Oswald because he didn't follow through with funding him. We see him from another angle. I’m so happy.
Oswald smiles, and says that the failure to fund him was an omission he regrets and will rectify if given the chance
Victor opens a tap on a gas canister and sprays himself with something to cool himself down.
Oswald moves to investigate something in the makeshift lab. Victor grabs his arm to stop him
Don't touch that
Lee tells him he needs money for research, and Sofia wants Oswald. If he delivers her, then he can name his price. Victor hands him something. He says it’s short notice – but the best he can do. Oswald turns to Lee and starts to say if this affects his brain the way it did Nygma’s then it’ll be a disaster. He can’t afford….
We don’t know what he can’t afford, because Victor cuts in
Ready?
Oswald splutters. Victor doesn’t listen.
I don't care
Victor freezes him in a block, like he did Ed.
(An aside - I know, by this point, that I’m essentially on a hiding to nothing if I wonder about logic and reasoning – but why didn’t Oswald fund Victor? He knows what he’s capable of. He’s greedy for allies. Did he just not have the funds required? Did he never really intend to do it all (again, confusing, given how useful Victor could be to him). Did he forget? It’s not a big detail but – again – it fleshes things out to know.)
(Another aside – I think I need some of that cooling gas canister stuff. Wow.)
At Wayne Manor, Selina roots through the jewellery while Bruce ices his knuckles. She wants him to return it and he twigs that’s why she came. It wasn’t about the money. He clearly and carefully tells her that she didn’t kill Roland Charles, Ivy did. But Selina is guilty and ashamed. She asks what she’s supposed to say, ‘sorry’? Bruce says sometimes that’s enough, and they look at each other.
At the Falcone mansion, we hear drill sounds. The dentist we met before is torturing Ed. He comments that his strength of mind is impressive. Sofia pats Ed’s shoulder, and tells him he will tell her what she wants to know, or this will look like a pleasant dream
Ed laughs, and says OK
I can be done with the teeth, the eyes or the mind - what am I?
I can be humorous, but I’m never funny - what am I?
Sofia stabs him in the thigh with a scalpel, and demands to know where Oswald is.
Ed laughs and tells her he already did – but she’s too stupid to figure it out
Sofia jiggles the scapel in his leg. Ow ow ow. Ed screams in earnest. They’re interrupted – they have a visitor.
It’s Victor F – with a frozen Oswald. Ed turns and laughs – amused that they’ve gone through with his plan after all, and no doubt somewhat tickled to see Oswald in a block of ice.
Sofia asks if Oswald is alive. Victor F responds that he might be, and asks for a hundred grand. She agrees quickly. Should have asked for more, Victor.
The other hot Victor enters as he leaves, eyeballs frozen Oswald, and says he’s not even going to ask – but tells her they found Penn. A delighted Sofia kisses his forehead. She tells the other thugs present to take Ed to the docks, shoot him, and throw him in the river. Why does anyone bother doing this in this town? It’s the least successful murder spot in the city.
She smiles brightly and bounces out of the room
Let’s go get Mr Penn
Victor follows, grinning like the cat who got the cream. Wendell knocks warily at Oswald’s ice cube.
Jim and Harvey arrive at the Sumka spa. They walk into a main hall. Harvey speaks
What fresh level of hell is this?
Oh dear. Not to judge – but this is a lot of no.
Jim says they’re looking for Arthur Penn. The nurse says they try to guarantee anonymity. They spot Penn trying to escape. I’d rather exit this scene quickly without the need for description – so Harvey and Jim escort him out. The end.
At the Falcone Mansion, Oswald defrosts. Once out, he screams incoherently at the dentist about he must have been working for Sofia too. He asks where she is, before walloping him hard on the head and screaming in rage.
Lee is in the car. She answers her phone and asks excitedly if it’s done. Oswald tells her that Sofia left the mansion and is on her way to stop Jim. He tells her to meet him at the spa and they’ll kill Sofia together. That’s a bonding experience right there.
Ending the call – he spots Ed’s bowler on the table. The dentist tells him Ed wouldn't turn on him (but did he actually reveal his location through his compulsive riddling? Did anyone solve the riddles? I’m terrible at it). Oswald asks where he is now. The dentist tells him they’re at the docks, and Oswald has a visible internal back and forth on whether to go immediately to kill Sofia, or go to the docks to prevent Ed from being murdered.
Back at the spa with Jim and Harvey. Apparently, Penn worked for Falcone. He asked him to keep eye on Sofia. She found out, and made a deal – he had to report on Oswald. Harvey expresses distaste at his triple-dealing, and Penn indignantly tells him it’s how you stay alive. Sofia would let him live as long as her kept her one step ahead. She also asked him to put her in touch with Pyg - so he did, and then told Falcone right away.
Jim tells him they need a statement, but they’re interrupted by the arrival of Victor and Sofia. There’s lots of shooting. Sofia is wearing a terrible outfit – that soft pink trench-coat again, and high waisted white trousers.
There’s general mayhem, and Jim gets shot. He tells Harvey to get Penn out of there – he can make it until backup arrives.
Sofia advances, calling for him
James Gordon. We could have had a good thing, you and I - but you had to go and ruin it
Jim reiterates that Harvey should go, and makes it an order. Sofia tells her men to find Penn and get Gordon.
Jim stumble/runs into the kitchen. He takes another shot, from Sofia this time. He turns to shoot her, but he’s out of bullets, and staggers away, as Sofia follows.
Outside, Harvey passes Lee as he’s taking Penn away. Lee calmly strides past him, asking where Sofia is. Harvey says she’s in there with Jim. Lee doesn’t deviate pace or fluster, just tells him to take the car as she walks on. Harvey calls after her that Jim’s hurt bad.
Nearby, Victor and Wendell decide that the day’s more or less over at this point, and they should go get a milkshake.
Jim is stumbling, bleeding heavily. Sofia is ranting. She tells him he’s such a disappointment, and shoots again. She asks if it would have been so bad, being in the palm of her hand, letting her chip away at his soul little by little. Did he really have to rob her of her revenge?
Jim is on the floor. He tells her it wasn’t about him – he wasn’t going to give her GCPD. Jim – you’re bleeding pretty heavily and all, but she had GCPD. You were a puppet.
Sofia doesn’t buy this. She tells him of course it was about him – his pride and arrogance. What she wanted was no different than what her father had for thirty years. Jim states.
Your father - who you killed
Sofia doesn’t wobble for a moment.
Yes - he disappointed me, just like you
(An aside – Sofia’s murder of Carmine was probably her scariest moment in how he justified it to herself. A lot of her behaviour and beliefs are probably learned – her childhood sounds messed up. But we heard her use the old ‘he made me do it’ before with conviction, and hear it again here).
Sofia crouches by him. She tells Jim she still cares for him. If he begs for his life and asks forgiveness, then they can start over.
(An aside - ugh – Sofia has feelings for Jim, apparently. What did it for her? How easily he was duped by appealing to his ego? How judgily he looked at her before any of their sexual encounters? His eye-watering knack for hypocrisy? The way he immediately tried to drop her when she wasn’t useful anymore?)
Jim sits up slightly.
Sofia. Go to hell
Her face pinches, and she rises
James Gordon - this is where our story ends
Before she can shoot, though – she is shot in the back. She turns, face shocked.
You!
It’s a calm and smiling Lee
She pulls the trigger again – and puts a bullet through Sofia’s forehead
Yeah - me
Jim falls back to the floor, his head lolls to the side, and stares into Sofia’s open eyes. We get flashes of Lee trying to keep him conscious as he eventually blacks out.
(An aside – it’s notable here how purposeful and calm Lee was, and how little Jim factored into her actions. I’m sure saving him was likely pleasing – they have a history – but hearing he was in there didn’t produce a visible reaction, nor did her face change to see him on the floor. She was entirely focused on revenge.
There’s a narrative logic to Lee killing Sofia, in terms of Gotham’s rules. She was for a long time, and still is – in a sense – the closest thing the story has to a ‘good’ woman. She’s nurturing and protective. Her profession involves caring. Even before her current stint trying to revive the Narrows, she existed as a symbol in Jim’s story: the motivation for moral redemption, something to protect, something to long for - the ‘love of a good woman’ trope. For a long time, she hid her knowledge of Jim’s misdeeds – something she was only willing to use recently to protect people who had become more important to her.
In contrast, Sofia is set up as the wicked woman. She founds an orphanage as a front, and then uses one of the children to manipulate Oswald’s finer feelings. She uses the memory of his dead mother to do the same – serving up the goulash. She also preyed on his vulnerability about his physical disability. She uses sex to manipulate Jim, and uses his misdeeds to exert power over him. She endangers Martin. She murders her father. In just about any way a traditional narrative would function (and Gotham employs a lot of fairly traditional tropes) – she ‘fails’ at being a good woman. She’s cold where Lee is passionate, destructive where she’s nurturing, uncaring where she is protective.
In terms of narrative, then – Lee taking Sofia out is the kind of moral judgment you’d probably expect. That Lee does it herself, and later seems to enjoy using violence, I suppose raises questions of whether the story now sees Lee as ‘tainted’ by her actions.)
At the pier, Ed is being led, chuckling to the water’s edge. One of the thugs offers a bad riddle. Ed rolls his eyes, and tells them just to do it. Before they can they’re shot. Ed turns, and sees that it’s Oswald
He asks if he already killed Sofia, but he tells him no – she left the mansion to pursue Jim, and if he’d gone there he wouldn’t have made it to the pier in time. Ed is confused – Oswald gave up his revenge to save Ed?
Oswald looks out at the city. He tells Ed that trust is so very hard to find in Gotham, but he trusts Ed. Really? He thought he betrayed him, like, half an hour ago. Whatever, though. They both put their guns away and stare out over the water. Ed says he has a strong desire never to see this pier again. Oswald rolls his eyes, and heartily agrees.
(An aside - Oswald trusts Ed? This makes no sense either. Unless Oswald has essentially decided that Ed is ‘lawful evil’, and that digging up his father’s remains, humiliating in front of the public whose affection and respect he craved, and then attempting to murder him was a fair response to Isabella’s murder – and that therefore Ed can be trusted because he’ll only ever strike in retaliation. Play by the rules, and you’re fine.
To be honest, I’d find it more believable if he did it to fulfil a sense of duty to the Ed whom he essentially buried alive when he enabled the Riddler personality to come to the fore, and who is – in a sense – an unwilling passenger in all this. But hey – why bother grounding actions in personality and motivation?)
Jim wakes up in a hospital room, with quite a good colour about him for someone who was shot so much. Harvey is there. He tells him Lee saved him – even one-handed, she’s a damn good doctor. Sofia is apparently in a coma. Wow – really? Right through the forehead? OK
Jim frowns. He tells Harvey when he gets out he’ll confess everything. He has to come clean. Harvey tells him no. That would only benefit Jim’s martyr complex and make him feel better. He tells him if he wants to pay his debt he has to live with it, like he does. Oh Harvey. That would only work if Jim had a properly developed sense of guilt. You’ve made the same mistake as Sofia.
Jim says that Sofia wins after all. Harvey says it’s what the city needs.
Jim asks after Lee. Harvey says she went back to the Narrow – unfinished business.
Cherry's – where Samson is being beaten. Lee walks down the stairs, making an entrance, a hammer hanging at her belt. Samson yells that he’ll go. Lee smiles
Oh, I know - just not yet
She tells the men to hold his hand out. Samson yells no – but to no avail. Lee’s eyes light up, and she seriously goes to town on his hand – enjoying it quite a lot.
At Sirens, Barbara is in pain. Tabitha is going on about how they need to grab power, but Barbara snaps at her – in too much pain to listen. Tabitha strops off sulkily.
Barbara looks down at her hand -which is glowing white, like the thing Ra’s gave her. As she looks up, she sees him walk through the crowd. She stares in shock, the air around her blurring and jolting.
General Observations
Forgiveness is the name of the game today. It’s offered and accepted just about everywhere. Jim and Harvey seem to have worked towards a tentative truce, even though things are still delicate. Jim and Oswald have a meaningful handshake – forgiveness requested and granted hidden beneath the surface. Ed and Oswald eventually seem to have reached a truce that will enable them to cooperate when necessary and maybe even sustain friendship. Lee’s keeping Jim alive after he’s shot is mostly down to her personality and their history – but there’s also some tacit forgiveness in there, maybe, for his actions around Mario. There’s a lot of pain and history to go round – but as Bruce tells Selina, sometimes sorry is enough.
Except for Sofia. Forgiveness has to be offered, but she demands Jim beg her for it. In turn, she’s punished by Lee – who has no intention of offering forgiveness.
The practical result of all that is resetting the chessboard before the next big plot.
Harvey is back at GCPD, and Jim is still Captain. I’m not sure to what extent they’re completely OK with each other – but they’re working together now.
Oswald is out of Arkham. He’s established a truce with Ed which will enable them to cooperate. He seems to have forgiven Jim. Sofia is temporarily gone, and Martin is temporarily safe. He was willing to joint-kill Sofia with Lee.
Lee has embraced the darker side of herself. She’s back to running the Narrows, and is now a formidable power as well as on the side of her people. Her focus on getting revenge on Sofia was impressive, as was her calmness throughout.
Ed is currently in his Riddler persona. He’s mended fences with Oswald, but regained an enemy in Butch.
Ed and Lee warrant their own paragraph, I think. I’d be surprised if we don’t see things develop further there. We’ve already got the foundation of the Ed/Lee friendship, then we were shown Ed falling for her, then we got the little flickers of romantic expectation we saw from Lee in the previous episode. In this episode, they couldn’t keep their eyes off each other, and there was tension crackling all over the place.
Barbara’s having creepy headaches, Selina is pretty much awol, and Tabitha is trying to figure out how to grab power after they fundamentally backed the wrong horse. Sirens is pretty much in disarray.
Victor Fries has funding now. I think we definitely need to see more of him for important narrative reasons. Much more
Thoughts?
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Am I the only one who think the episode was poor? I didn't like the writing, it's was a bit lazy and I still think Clarke's action was ooc to create more drama. Idk, it wasn't a bad episode but I didn't like it but I usually don't like the way Kim writes tbh
You’re definitely not the only one. I’ve seen a lot of complaints about it, actually.
Personally, I usually DO like Kim’s episodes, which is why this one was so disappointing. (I mean, Kim wrote “Nevermore”, which is honestly one of the best episodes not just in Season 3 but in the entire show IMO. And while I know this is an unpopular opinion in the BC fam, I REALLY enjoyed 3x03 as well) I didn’t hate it, but I didn’t love it - I didn’t have many strong feelings either way. There were just a bunch of things that I found a bit annoying.
I didn’t really find Clarke to be ooc to be honest. I think that for Clarke, as an extremely pragmatic character, that list was exactly how I would expect her to write it (besides Monty but that’s another problem I had with the episode). I don’t think that her making hard choices and using “its for my people” as justification was out of character. Clarke has always been that way. I don’t think her lying to the people in order to do so was out of character either. This season is going to be about Clarke learning about free will, for real this time. She isn’t perfect, she’s not a perfect leader. I like that the writers try to show her flaws. I also might add, I like that they like to explore those flaws when Clarke doesn’t have Bellamy at her side, and vice versa.
They centre each other. It shows when they’re apart.
Anyway, I haven’t rewatched the episode yet so I don’t know how well I’ll be able to pick out very specific things that bothered me about it, but I guess I’ll talk about the main ones.
I mentioned that I thought Monty being on that list was dumb. Not just because he wasn’t on it, but because OCTAVIA WAS. I have no idea how Octavia made that list (well, I do, but it has nothing to do with her and everything to do with Bellamy, and I don’t like that implication either). I’m not going to rant here because I already posted an all-caps rant about it here. So, if you’re interested in some screaming go right on ahead and click the link lol
The other big one I can think of is basically everything to do with Octavia’s fight scene with Echo and her “death”.
So much was wrong with that scene. I find it annoying that it was two to one and Octavia effortlessly took out the first warrior even though both of them have been training since they were children. It shouldn’t have been even close to an even fight. Octavia shouldn’t have even been able to hold up against Echo for as long as she did. Especially when you consider the fact that Bellamy disarmed and overpowered Octavia while he had his hands literally tied (and no weapon!) back in 3x10 when they confronted Pike in the span of like, three seconds. It bothers me how, in pretty much no time at all and practically no extra training, Octavia is suddenly hailed as this “badass” force of nature who is effortlessly fighting/killing all of these highly skilled and trained warriors left, right and centre. It doesn’t make sense and the sacrifice of continuity in order to make Octavia more “edgy” is getting old really fast.
I also hate the slow-mo they use in action scenes (not a criticism of 4x04, but the entire show as a whole). Why did they start using slow-mo in season 3? Its like they’re trying to be this big, cool action-movie and are trying to make everything look more badass but it just makes it seem lame. This is a character-driven show. It doesn’t need the slow-mo in order to appeal to people and never has. And the slow-motion glorifies violence in a way that it never used to before Season 3. And I don’t think that glorification was something the writers have ever intended but it makes it seem like thats what they are doing by adding in the slow-mo.
Octavia getting stabbed through the abdomen and falling off that cliff is so ridiculous I can’t even describe how fucking stupid it was. There is no way she could have survived that fall relatively unharmed. Even without that stab wound, she should have broken bones, probably snapped her neck. She should be DEAD. And I bet you anything that in the next episodes the only wound that will be addressed will be her stab wound, not anything she sustained during the fall. Because lets be real, that fall was just there to create drama and parallel her to Aragorn, but it didn’t look like she was suffering from any other injuries.
*clenches fists* URGHHHHH
HOW DID SHE PULL HERSELF ONTO A HORSE HOWWWWWWWWWWW A LOT OF PEOPLE CAN’T EVEN DO THAT WHEN THEY’RE IN GOOD HEALTH THIS MAKES NO FUCKING SENSE
I didn’t like Raven’s line to Luna: “It’s not your blood that defines you, it’s your heart.”
a) it’s cheesy as fuck and I despise cheesy things oh my god
b) it doesn’t sound like something Raven would say. I mean, didn’t we just spend last two episodes exploring how RUTHLESS Raven can be and how she just … doesn’t connect with people in the same way as someone who was more of a “heart” kinda person would? Not to say that Raven is heartless (cause she’s NOT) or doesn’t know how to empathize with people but she’s always been a head over heart kinda gal and, especially since we’ve seen that focused on so heavily lately, it seems odd that SHE would be the one to say that line. It implies that Raven thinks that a person’s morality and their compassion and all that shit are a LOT more important than what we’ve been led to believe by her actions in recent episodes. And believe me I’m not dragging Raven or anything because I love Raven and I love how pragmatic and rational she is, but this line seemed like it should have been written for someone else. It would have made more sense if someone like Abby said it.
(Anyway I have no idea how to articulate any of what I was trying to say but whatever)
c) it felt out of place in the scene and pretty much entirely unnecessary
Just all around an awkward line.
I didn’t like the piano music in Bellamy’s scene where he finds out about Octavia. It felt like they were trying to force the emotion onto us instead of just letting us feel it. I wish they had cut the music off entirely and just let us HEAR and SEE the emotion of the scene through Bellamy (and Kane’s) grief. That would have been a lot more impactful. I’ve seen other people point it out as well, but I also wish that the camera lingered more on Bellamy. The shots were all over the place, it was hard to focus on anything. The music was distracting, the camerawork was distracting … It could have been better.
A lot of the issues in the episode are probably due to that being the director’s debut though, so I’m giving him the benefit of the doubt for now. I’m sure it will get better.
I’m not as upset as most people about the lack of Bellamy in the episode, tbh. I missed him and I wish there was more but I’m not ANGRY. I think people are blaming this all on Kim but I don’t think Kim actually has the ability to just be like “you know what, fuck Bellamy, he’s not going in this episode”. It’s not just up to her - its up to the entire writers room. Remember, they decide what goes in the episodes. Individual writers just decided on the smaller details, like specific lines and movements and how they want the scenes to come to life. But the lack of Bellamy definitely wasn’t just up to her.
Remember 3x10? We got like, two minutes of Clarke in that episode due to scheduling issues with Eliza. My gut tells me that they probably knew Bob wouldn’t be able to film much for 4x04 and that’s why he’s barely in it. They probably gave that episode to Kim BECAUSE they know she doesn’t enjoy writing Bellamy as much, but I don’t think that him not being in the episode was really up to her. Just my two cents.
Anyway I touched the main points. I know you probably didn’t want this response but oh wellll. Thanks for sending in the ask!
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John isn’t really blogging in TST
So sorry if this has been done already but I haven’t seen anyone mentioning it yet so I thought I should write my first meta after a long time.... Sorry if it has a lot of mistakes I write really fast and don’t check more than twice really
Few things I have noticed...
What is John typing if this is an image/picture opened in his laptop? Seriously I don’t think this is a slip up, this is deliberate. Like look at this... the tItle is JOHN BLOG IMAGE.png. Is this a snippet of his screen?
Is that why the blog isn’t updated anymore?
Look at the past series when the blogs were shown... no seriously look
The “live”/as John types the writing is hovering on the screen blog type we get in a Scandal in Belgravia, though no showing of the actual screen...
And here John’s blog counter being stuck in 1895, BUT this isn’t a photo/picture a snippet of his screen like the one in the Six Thachers
Now you get the message, I can’t add all snippets of where we see John’s and Sherlock’s blogs being shown and not a picture but when actually updated the writing is hovering s2 style...
If John was really updating, and with all the brilliant and busy hovering texts we get this series, why is the (since) s2 when John’s blogging the text is hovering scene missing? Sure the episode is fast paced, it is already busy so they couldn’t add it... yeah okay
But why isn’t updated anymore? This is a picture of the draft... John isn’t really typing... and the blog isn’t really updated...
There’s also what John had written(past tense cause this fucking shit is a snippet, John isn’t really updating look at this shit) is quite funny. This is the text(anything in the parenthesis and italicised is my own additions):
Title: 221Back!
Text: And we’re back! Sorry I haven’t updated the blog for such a long time but things have really been very busy (seriously John what kind of sentence is that. Also confirmation that a lot of time has passed since the last blog, The Sign of Three!!! Mary is seriously pregnant but for so many fucking months.... Anyway back to the text). You’ll have seen on the news about how Sherlock recovered the Mona Lisa (no sorry John it hasn’t broken our fourth wall though it seems more exciting than the fourth wall break of the announced of your daughter named after your wife’s freelance assassin facade... sorry name). He described it as “an utterly dreary case” and was much more interested in the case of a missing horseshoe and how it was connected to a bright blue deckchair on Brighton beach.
Next paragraph: I’ll try to write everything up when I get chance but it’s not been missing portraits and horseshoes that have taken up my time. (You sure mate? You missed 59 calls from your elephant term pregnant wife when she was going in labour because you were with your best friend all day?Mate you put an exclamation mark in we’re back but not in the announcement of you being a father? John your unhappiness is showing...)
Next: I’m going to be a Dad. (no exclamation mark, so he’s not excited... this is not a response from a happily married man about his addition in his family)
Next paragraph: I mean I thought I’d spent the last few years being a Dad to Sherlock (wow dad capitalised? Again? and the hurtful baby is Sherlock jokes again? Damn John, you are exuding unhappiness), but it doesn’t compare. The baby runs all our lives (but it’s not born yet, or was it born when you pretended to write this up, Johnny Boy...) (this is John’s parenthesis: Maybe not THAT different to Sherlock then!) (oh boy he exclamated this and not his announcement... yeah he is so happy about the baby...). If I’m not changing nappies, I’m buying nappies (um.. the baby isn’t here yet?) I’ve fought in Afganistan (sorry not present in the screencap but it’s there for milliseconds) and my best friend once faked his own death (still not over it wow!) but none of that ....(I am assuming here he has written compares but his fingers are always in the way however much I slow down the scene) It’s terrifying and amazing and the biggest adventure I’ve been
Here it ends... We never see what John “writes” as he doesn’t actually write up but pretend.
Further proof that John has a picture up of his own blog and not actually updating the blog is the actual corner. Now thank God I have Windows 10, same as John, which is weird if they are still in 2014 thanks to the hiatus and the baby etc. but look at this
Like honestly? The time jumps and the continuation problems we’ve always had.... but this is brilliant... not a slip up...
I am telling you John isn’t updating and this is why the blog also doesn’t update in our universe but I will leave you to further deductions as well...
Next!
The hit counter has changed moved away from 1895, thank god, but still in our real world it isn’t there. The numbers on counter now are 18493 and there’s weirdly an empty space in front of the 1, the hundred thousand space.
and a clearer image here
um??? why the empty space?
Okay so clearly John’s blog is booming, so much success is coming out of it, surely why not update it? Why leave fans waiting? Is this an act? Or MP?
Then we get these:
He has a touchscreen Windows laptop with removable keyboard. Okay alright the props and their time continuum is messed up we know this... BUT LOOK HE ISN’T ACTUALLY WRITING ANYTHING UP, IT’S A PICTURE HE IS LITERALLY NOT UPDATING HE IS ACTING UP WITH THE PICTURE ON HIS LAPTOP WHY???
And then we get the blogs up at the same time as the deduction scenes...
we get the s2 as John is writing up the case the blog post is on the screen effect, but here the client’s case is still unsolved, while usually when we see John write up the cases it’s after it has been solved... so they are trying to squeeze up the time here?
Next case, next blog post, this time the name is mentioned, so this one is probably linked to the wrong thumb they sent Sherlock. Nothing significant here...But why no title here? It’s meant to confuse us into thinking it’s the ontinuation of the last case but it’s not
Next: Wow John can’t really finish these blog posts can he? This is such a small piece, but why?
Next cases: The Circus Torso and The Canary Trainer. Oh here’s Hopkins and sorry I can’t remember his name while writing this but can’t bother to go find out. Here both of the cases are left with ellipsis again meaning it’s not finished. Here again not much context of the cases but the blog posts and the simultaneous Skype call (i think, could be face-time) are loading up the screen... Why? Why are we going so fast, and why are they showing the blog posts when it’s not updated. we’ll never read, have nothing to do with most of the episode, and are stealing precious time which only makes this more fast paced?
Sorry such a shitty screencap. Next up The Cardiac Arrest. Probably a pun as well, but we will never know because the blog isn’t updating anymore. Also because of much less context we get, yet it get’s screen time.... What is the point of this???
AHAHAH this is a nice one. Literally out of context, ellipsis before and after indicating it’s from some other blog post but then again we will never know because John won’t update his blog anymore... But look at this and tell me what your first thoughts are. What are you first thoughts?
221B has literally been circled by assassins before, Mycroft has warned John, and then John’s wife turns out to be an assassin so is it really so surprising? An assassin who turned out to be.... is a great wait to end this quote... beautiful.
AND IT COMES BEFORE JOHN REALISES THAT HE HAS 59 MISSED CALLS FROM HIS WIFE. THEY ARE LAUGHING AS THEY ARE GOING UPSTAIRS ARE FUNNY AND LIGHT AND THEN THIS SHIT HAPPENS.... BEAUTIFUL...
And then that’s it... all the fast paced no context cases Sherlock took up and the very heavy blog post effects covering the screen end with Mary being in labour, but Sherlock’s texts to presumably Scotland Yard begin...
Now I will continue this as I go into the rewatch more but it’s funny how I am stuck in the first not even 10 minutes of the show, analysing only 3 minutes of cases for the last 3 hours...
Anyway anything wrong please point it out, and tell me our own deductions from these scenes but there is more analysis coming, and if there’s something wrong message me, reply, tell me but go easy on me this is my first analysis type post after a long time!
Lastly, to answer many people who have been asking me, no I don’t think that John lost his passion to update the blog or even follow Sherlock after Mary’s death, but I guess part of the 221Back explains why John has stopped blogging, because he can’t keep up with Sherlock, baby and then all the Mary stuff going on... I also believe he’s acting suspicious and OOC just like Sherlock because it could be MP or they are undercover or something but I guess we’ll have to wait and see...
Plus they didn’t talk much in the episode like???
Conclusion: Something bigger is coming, but John’s posts will never go up. The are just snippets of him writing them... but never up.
please @hudders-and-hiddles @finalproblem @quietlyprim @constancecream @deducingbbcsherlock @loudest-subtext-in-tv @love-in-mind-palace and many others look at this I am so struck by it!
#s4#spoilers#sherlock#the six thatchers#tst#series 4#s4 ep1#analysis#meta#john's blog#hovering effects
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hello! i’ll be traveling a lot for the holidays this year which means i need some good fics to read! would you be so kind as to rec me some long fics with a lot of smut and also a good plot/storyline? thank you sooooo much if you can i love your fic recs xxx
Oooh…holiday travel is a perfect time for reading fics. I have to say, the newer fics I’ve read don’t have a whole lot of smut (sadly), so quite a few of these are older, but hopefully you haven’t read all of them yet! I would also suggest checking out my Classics fic rec as I didn’t include them, but many are quite long and have a great plot/smut.
Danger I Can’t Hide by CelticSky (E, 227K) This one’s got all the tension and drama you’d expect of a World War II story—life and death high stakes, friends and lovers unexpectedly torn apart, battles and heroism, plus the added stakes of classism and homophobia—then add a slow burn, high risk, scorching love affair spanning years. If you want a story that’s complex and fantastically researched, plus lovers to root for, read it. It’s long. But I couldn’t put it down.
babydoll blues by devilinmybrain / @thedevilinmybrain (E, 112K) At last, the full-fledged, dirty, sugar baby fic we needed. Harry's character is so layered and so beautifully drawn, I just fell in love with him. Louis is sexy and powerful and also tender and sweet, just how I imagine the actual Louis to be. This author wrote one of my favorite fics of 2021, so I was really excited to dive into this one. They really know how to set a scene and draw you in to their characters. Scorching smut scenes, excellent use of side characters, and some angst that fully made me cry. Definitely worth a read!
Walk That Mile by purpledaisy (E, 150K) I’ve read this one multiple times and still love it. Their bickering is so realistic, their resistance to their attraction to each other is perfect, the way the author portrays all of their weird quirks and differences but still makes it believable that they’d fall fo reach other is such fun to read….I love this fic.
Collision by itjustkindahappened (NR, 225K) This fic is really unique and interesting. The characterizations are a bit OOC (in my opinion), but it’s such a cool story, that this didn’t get in my way of enjoying it. The author has written an epilogue since I read it, which might expand the ending, which felt a little abrupt at the time.
In Vogue by otpwhatever / @thecelineharry (M, 121K) This one is just….so much. The intensity of the characters, the crazy hot smut (oh god, the window scene), the FASHION, the angst (I had to take a walk around the block after reading it), the epic love story between two men who could rule the world if they could just figure their shit out. Love. (this fic has been deleted, link is to a download)
somewhere in between lightning by jassy117, nauticalleeds, shiningdistractionwrites / @nauticalleeds @shiningdistrction (E, 100K) SO, I don’t know what took me so long to read this one, but I just finished it last night and it was so much fun. It’s lighthearted and sexy and satisfying. I loved the way the authors used flashbacks in a really organic way to fill in the backstory.
of the divine by @thedevilinmybrain (Mixed ratings, 2-part series, 104K) Oh my god. This series. I cried buckets. It’s so beautifully written. The sex scenes are so tender and sexy, but in such a pure way. Their relationship is so good… you can totally feel how much they love each other, the climactic scene OH MY GOD so intense. It’s also got great zouis friendship and a very sweet narry friendship. Tender punk Louis and guardian angel Harry. Read it.
everything that shine ain't always gonna be gold by sarcasticfluentry (E, 49K) You don’t need to know anything about the movie that inspired this fic (it’s an Inception AU). What you do need to know is that it’s got great OT5, it’s super sexy, it’s got a terrific story line, and the pacing is just right for a nail biter. Extractor Harry and Louis.
But If This Ends by nonsensedarling / @absoloutenonsense (E, 107K) This author referred to this fic as their “depressed vampire” fic while they were writing, and it is that. But it’s also a unique story with beautifully fleshed out characters, plot twists, and super hot smut. Go check it out!
every universe but ours by @28finelines (E, 50K) How this fic doesn’t even have 3K hits is beyond me. It’s so touching and funny and sexy and I read it all in one go––thankfully just before I published this post! Please go read it because it’s like reading multiple Larry fics in one, each one with that “I would find you in any lifetime” vibe.
Our Lives, Non Fiction by @indiaalphawhiskey (E, 114K) this is, quite literally, the best fic I’ve read in years. It’s so well written, clever, funny, emotional, and sexy. Its draw you in immediately and you’ll end up falling in love with these characters before you know it. Don’t miss this one.
An Invincible Summer by Brooklyn_Babylon / @twopoppies (E, 45K)
Never content to stay in one place for long, a few months down south researching for his novel seemed like an idyllic, slow-paced summer to Louis. He wasn't ready for the blistering heat, the backbreaking work of watermelon picking, or how stifling the attitudes in rural Georgia would feel. And he definitely hadn’t anticipated falling in love with the farmer’s son.
The summer of 1946 would turn out to be everything worth writing about.
Seeing Blind by zedi (E, 47K) I really liked the way this author gave a twist to both Omega Harry and Alpha Louis’ characteristics. It’s a whole lot of smut and miscommunication and, of course, a happy ending.
and i’m weeping warm honey and milk (that you stay surrounding me) by FangirlFlailings/ @wooltobravetheseason (M, 78K) This fic digs deep into therapy and recovery from PTSD and anxiety. It included everything from great Ot5 friendship, great side Ziam, coming out, commitment phobic Harry, and of course, vulnerable Louis. I really enjoyed this one.
Mine Would Be You by @crinkle-eyed-boo (E, 115K) Beautifully written, flawed characters and an emotionally engaging and ANGSTY plot. Super hot smut that made me cry like a fool. Banter, OT5 friendship, and the gritty realness of New York as a backdrop. Loved this one.
We’ll Be Seamless by @dinosaursmate (E, 52K) Inspired by Tumblr (back in the days when porn was actually allowed), this one is filled with super sexy teasing and flirting.
Sing When You’re Winning by hazmesentir (NR, 91K) another one I read ages ago, but I always like this author’s writing and the premise of newly out footballer Louis and journalist intern Harry who somehow snags the interview, is such a fun one. And I don’t know why it has an NR rating, there’s plenty of smut.
just a flicker in the dark by @falsegoodnight (E, 57K) I just finished this one last night and it was so good! The super original story and great pacing definitely had me on the edge of my seat. It had everything in it: hate to love, exes to lovers, scary supernatural elements, warm friendships, plus a sexy and emotional smut scene. Highly recommend it!
we can take the long road home by @pinkcords (E, 46K) This was absolutely gorgeous. And it made me cry, damn it. Seriously though, the writing is so beautiful. I loved the characterizations and the way they both showed their vulnerability. I loved the slow pace and the hot smut. I loved this fic
Amor Victorious by HappyPrincess / @pattern-pals (E, 39K) Beautiful writing, gorgeous use of description, a slow meandering trip through Italy, but never boring. Beautifully paced. This author is fairly new to me, and I’m loving all of their fics. This one has a bit of a sad undercurrent of internalized homophobia, but I thought it was handled very well and the way Louis gives in at last is so delicately done.
Nothing But You On My Mind by nonsensedarling / @absoloutenonsense (E, 84K) I couldn’t put this down from the minute I started. Everything about it was such fun. Terrific banter, great chemistry, unique story, beautiful writing. I literally read the first 9 chapters in one sitting. Starting at 1:30 in the morning (like an idiot).
My Lights Stay Up, But Your City Sleeps by PearlyDewdrops (E, 108K) Featuring lots of pining, really well done internal monologue from Louis, and excellent smut. It also has some really lovely writing that I felt captured the pain of mental illness/anxiety very well.
sex shop fic (dildornado ‘verse) by istajmaal, LoadedGunn (E, 2-part series, 97K). If you like a story that’s chock full of BDSM smut (and just sexy smut), these two authors are a sure thing. One of the things I really like about this series is that the second one has switching POV and one author writes Dom/Louis and the other writes Sub/Harry. It’s a great dynamic and a great read!
no pressure, no diamonds ‘verse by karamelised (E, 5 works, 71K) This series is SO good -- really fun, original story, great characterizations, crazy hot smut... what are you waiting for?
Speaking of Marvels by navigator, quitter (E, 101K) This was one of the first fics I read in this fandom, but I read it again recently and had forgotten how really wonderful it is. The writing is so lovely and the characters feel so well developed. I especially loved how the authors explored how differently the two of them would respond to their relationship given the different stages of life they were in. It made the romance and the attraction and the angst feel really real.
Tainted Saints and Velvet Vices by Toomanytears (E, 126K) Yes, a Harry Potter crossover, but I don’t even like HP and this one was so good. Great story, enemies to lovers that works, layered backstories, and the smut is worth the wait (even though it’s a long wait).
The Finish Line (Is A Good Place For Us To Start) by LoadedGunn (E, 122K) It’s been years since I read this one, but this author is a sure bet for a great story and super hot smut.
Destined For More by karamelised (E, 77K) This one is an OT5 polyamory soul bond fic, so you have to be up for OT5 in every variation to enjoy it, But, if you are, this is a fun one with great OT5 friendships and a LOT of smut.
Lightening Strikes Twice by @dinosaursmate (E, 104K) Really meaty storyline, in-depth characterizations, lots of smutty goodness, and a really moving character arc for Harry, especially.
For Reasons Wretched and Divine by @indiaalphawhiskey (E, 95K) Really well written, angsty, emotional fic. I love this author’s ability to draw you in so deeply (and the excellent smut).
Symphony Hall Series by @helloamhere (E, 3-part series, 138K) I’ve only read the first two parts (the 3rd is Ziam and I haven’t gotten to it yet), but it’s one of my favorites. Great writing, unique and compelling story, great smut scenes.
(Take Me Home) Country Roads by Awriterwrites / @a-writerwrites (E, 87K) A Northern Exposure AU with Harry as an Appalachian healer and Louis as a “big city” London doctor. Somehow this author makes you feel not only as though you’re there in the middle of Appalachia, but also like you don’t want to leave. It’s funny, sexy, sweet, and an all around great read.
Walk That Mile by purpledaisy (E, 150K) Enemies to lovers with two characters who are at once both flawed and perfect for each other. It’s a beautifully written, perfectly paced road trip fic. SO good.
Don’t Want Shelter by @kingsofeverything (E, 77K) More enemies to lovers! I love it! One of the few “older Larry” fics and this author does it so well. Really layered characterizations, realistic bitterness and insecurities, and super steamy smut.
To the Ends of the Earth by stylinsoncity (M, 68K) I read this one years ago, so I don’t have great notes, but this author has written some of my favorite fics. What I do recall is that it was beautifully written, painful but ultimately so lovely, and of course...sexy.
Like An Endless Summer by objectlesson (E, 87K) Summer camp pining and flirting and falling in love. Featuring Harry in the yellow shorts and Louis in jodphurs (and a riding crop scene that’s hella hot). Link is to a download
Take My Breath Away by @realitybetterthanfiction (E, 154K) Also known as The Top Gun Fic, this one has such a great story that is only loosely based on the film. The angst is super angsty and the OT5 friendship and banter is brilliant.
Tug-of-War by cherrystreet (E, 63K) Speaking of angst…this one got me good. The smut is hot af, the story is so well written, and the characterizations are really well done.
Wings to Break Your Fall by karamelised (E, 103K) I mean…Harry doing a striptease in angel wings.
Your Name is Tattooed On My Heart by mcpofife (E, 87K) Just read this for a second time recently, and it’s truly delightful. The characterizations are so well done. Harry is so endearing – I cried over his heartbreak. And the smut is both hot and really emotional. Loved this one.
The light to guide me home by Star_Henderson / @tommosgun (E, 65K) I don’t know what it is about this fic but I’ve read it so many times and I just really love the instant chemistry, the smut is stupid hot and fuels the character growth, and even with the angst, the whole thing is just lighthearted and sexy.
Tug-of-War by cherrystreet (E, 63K) I read this one a while ago, so I can’t remember a lot of specifics, but this author is pretty much a sure bet. My notes on this one make me chuckle: “So touching. Tears. Great characterizations. Angst is heart breaking, but relatively brief. Smut is hot af”. Well, there you go!
Can I lay by your side? by Star_Henderson / @tommosgun (E, 60K) There are a few of this author’s fics that I’ve read multiple times. This is one of them. It’s just sexy and soft and a little heartbreaking. But a happy ending, of course!
Some Things Take Root by navigator, quitter (E, 50) I pretty much love everything these authors have written. This one is sweet, charming, and sexy.
we've got the world in our hands by sarcasticfluentry (E, 55K) A Mutants AU. I read this one ages ago with very little interest in superhero movies and I literally couldn’t put this down. It’s just really well paced and has great dialogue and characterizations and I could easily read this fic if it’d had been twice as long.
May We Stay Lost On Our Way Home by LoadedGunn (E, 74K) Famous!Harry meets fairy!Louis. Yep. Mix in this author’s always incredibly hot smut, magic, quirky characters, and this is just a great read.
You Drive Me Round The Bend by TheCellarDoor (M, 77K) This is another I read ages ago, so I can’t recall details except that I loved rich, spoiled brat Louis and struggling musician Harry and instant chemistry followed by instant dislike and misunderstandings. Followed, of course, by ultimately falling in love.
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