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ibijau · 3 years

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👋🏼 Hello. For writing prompt thing 39. If you haven’t gotten too many of these. NMJ being super dotting on a pretty small baby. Baby could be NHS & LXCs, or NHS & JCs, or NMJ & MYs, 🤷🏼‍♀️

❤️ your writing!

me: aw, that's sweet!

also me: anyway, let's make it angsty

warning for implied trans character, and implied pregnancy of a trans man /o/

Jin Guangyao enters the room to the sound of cooing and meaningless blabber, and freezes on the spot.

His oldest sworn brother, sitting at his desk with a pile of work he ought to be doing, is instead playing with a baby. A very young baby. A month at the very most, going by the size of it… though since Nie cultivators tend to be large, maybe their children are as well, in which case it could be a little younger.

“Is da-ge babysitting?” Jin Guangyao asks, turning to close the door quietly to avoid startling the child.

When he turns again to look at Nie Mingjue, there is no trace left of the earlier softness he displayed while cooing at that baby. Instead, as always when confronted with Jin Guangyao, Nie Mingjue looks somewhat constipated.

“What are you doing here?”

Jin Guangyao startles at the barking tone, which has more bite than usual, even by Nie Mingjue’s standards. It has been a long while since his former sect leader has appeared this angry. They don’t get along anymore, not the way they used to, but Jin Guangyao had foolishly thought they were on the path to… not reconciliation, that would be too much to ask, but a certain understanding at least. There have even been times when he’s thought that Nie Mingjue looked at him with something that might pass for affection, though that always vanishes when their eyes meet, so he might have imagined it.

“Er-ge asked me if I could check on you,” Jin Guangyao explains as he comes to kneel on the other side of the table. Nie Mingjue holds the child tighter against his chest, as if fearing Jin Guangyao might stab it perhaps. Surprisingly, it hurts to be treated with such suspicion, even though Jin Guangyao ought to be used to it by now. “You were absent from that last discussion conference in Lanling, and you have refused all his most recent Night Hunting invitations, so he worries.”

He pauses, and looks at the baby, hit by a sudden doubt he dares not express.

“If da-ge fears that Night Hunting with er-ge will force him to spend time with me, we can make arrangements,” Jin Guangyao offers, pushing down that very ridiculous idea he’s just had. Nie Mingjue would have said something if… at least he would have told Lan Xichen, and nobody keeps these things a secret after the birth, do they? “I am very busy anyway, so I rarely have time to spend with er-ge. You don’t have to avoid him on my behalf.”

“I didn’t avoid him because of you,” Nie Mingjue snaps, his voice rising just enough to startle the baby.

It makes an unhappy noise, like a kitten mewling. Instantly Nie Mingjue’s entire body tenses, before he forces himself to relax and starts rocking the baby in his arms with that gentleness of his which still surprises Jin Guangyao every time he gets to witness it. It makes something go soft in Jin Guangyao’s chest, so soft it almost hurts, especially when he’s always been weak to the sight of fathers caring for their children. His mother used to promise that his own father too would be like that with him, someday, something he foolishly believed for far too long, in spite of how pragmatic he tried to be about other things.

“Is it yours?” Jin Guangyao asks, already knowing the answer.

Nie Mingjue just grunts, dropping a kiss on the baby’s forehead as it starts to calm down.

“I’m surprised you didn’t marry the other parent,” Jin Guangyao says. “Or did you just not think of inviting anyone? I can understand not wanting to see me, but er-ge would be disappointed. Nie Huaisang too, actually. And I know hecan’t have been there, that boy doesn’t know how to keep a secret.”

“There was no wedding.”

Something about Nie Mingjue’s tone startles Jin Guangyao, or perhaps it is the way the other man glares at him, again with more anger than he’s shown in a long while. Jin Guangyao can’t imagine why. It was a legitimate question to ask, he thinks. But then, he realises that perhaps the child came to be in… less than ideal circumstances. Jin Guangyao knows, as few people do, that Nie Mingjue is not like most men, something that he’s been asked (ordered) to keep to himself.

Something cold drops onto Jin Guangyao’s heart, freezing him solid.

He knows, indeed, that Nie Mingjue is a man like few others. He knows it intimately, because his sworn brother once trusted him, before things went sour between them, and because even after their relationship took a turn for the worse, in the early days after the war, there were a few occasions when drink and pent up emotions led to… lapses in judgement. It hasn’t happened in about a year, but…

Well, less than a year, really. More like ten months, more or less, because last time was when Nie Mingjue invited both his sworn brothers for a Night Hunt upon his birthday. They definitely drank too much that time. It wasn’t the only thing they did too much of.

“You should have told me,” Jin Guangyao says, unable to keep the pain out of his voice at this new proof of Nie Mingjue’s disdain for him. “Or… not, it can’t be that,” he adds, regaining control of himself, and bowing politely before his sworn brother. “You wouldn’t have kept it if it were mine. I’m sorry for even suggesting it.”

“If I’d told you, you would have told your father,” Nie Mingjue retorts, taking Jin Guangyao’s breath away, because it means it really is… “And then that old fart would have tried to use it against me. My sect’s safety comes first. Besides, I figured you’d rather not be involved.”

Jin Guangyao wishes it were an unfair appraisal of his priorities, and can’t help but wince at how well Nie Mingjue understands him, at least when it comes to the worst sides of him.

Of course he would have told Jin Guangshan. Possibly, foolishly, out of a hope that his father might mellow a little at the perspective of his first grandson, supposing Nie Mingjue told him before the announcement that Jin Zixuan’s engagement was to be renewed. Maybe also, yes, because there could be political advantage to be gained from this, and if Jin Guangyao can’t have his father’s good opinion out of affection, he’ll try to have it through his usefulness.

Nie Mingjue knows him too well.

And still he bore his child, when there are so many ways to prevent that.

“Why did you keep it?”

“I needed an heir,” Nie Mingjue says, gently rocking the child again, just the way Jin Guangyao now itches to do.

His child. He’s a father, but only because he did the one thing he always promised himself he wouldn’t do, spilled his seed carelessly and never thought twice about the consequences, leaving the details for the other party to figure out.

Like all those men at the brothels his mother worked at.

Like his own father.

“I refuse to believe I’m the only man who could have given you a child,” Jin Guangyao scoffs, clenching his fists over his knees, desperately wanting to reach over the table and beg to hold their child. “You’ve made it more than clear what you think of me.”

“I don’t take just anyone to bed.”

Ah, so that’s it, Jin Guangyao thinks, feeling the cold and heat of rejection. Of course in Nie Mingjue’s position, taking lovers is a delicate affair. Jin Guangyao can’t be what he would still go for, if he truly had a choice, but since he knows already, it was easier to continue like that than look for someone truly worthy of fathering the future sect leader of Qinghe Nie.

“I see. I am sorry da-ge had to settle for this one. And I suppose… no, of course I can’t be involved in the child’s life.”

“You can if you want to,” Nie Mingjue retorts, a strangle glint in his eyes which makes him look almost hopeful.

Hopeful that Jin Guangyao will know his place, no doubt.

And he does, of course. Everyone in the cultivation world has made sure that Jin Guangyao knows precisely what he’s worth to them, with his mother a whore and his father slightly less respected for having recognised him. The stain of his own birth would just be passed down on that child, on Nie Mingjue.

It doesn’t matter what Jin Guangyao wants.

It has never mattered.

“I think it best if I keep my distance,” he lies with a polite smile. “Don’t worry, I won’t interfere with your child’s life, da-ge, and I swear to never act as if I have any right to be part of its life.”

Nie Mingjue’s expression turns dark upon hearing this, which is no surprise. Of course he thinks that Jin Guangyao’s word had little value. He might not even be wrong. But for this, at least, Jin Guangyao intends to keep the promise he’s making.

It’s fine, anyway.

With Nie Mingjue being his sworn brother, he might still catch glimpses of his child here and there if he’s lucky, and watch it grow free from the disgrace of being descended from a whore.

#nieyao #nie mingjue #jin guangyao #mo dao zu shi #mdzs #jau writes #I like nieyao when they keep fucking up their chances for reconciliation #wait actually have I ever written something not wildly angsty about them??

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aheroinasuit · 3 years

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@jc-tasneem

I don’t think John would ever beat someone up for no good reason and I think Harold knows that all too well!

Thank you for giving me the opportunity to elaborate.

In general, I agree with you. But for the first 15 minutes of the Pilot John is a whole different being than what we’ll know him of. He’s not in a good place. I doubt he’s not aware Carter is going to search his fingerprints. This is a man without a will to live... and if we are honest, Harold with the way he presents himself, he is certain a lot more dangerous for John than say, Anton and his cronies.

And this John, who has seen his (almost) face on the news, who is probably hangover with a headache, he wakes up ziptied to the bed, in a different place than the one he fell asleep, listening to a crime taking place in the next room. He harms himself in a great effort to save the victim, he breaks down the door, the adrenaline runs high and he has Harold breaking all and every humanly possible boundary there is.

John wakes up to “ You need to know what it would be like to be forced to listen to someone get murdered, and not be able to do anything about it.”

I think -and Harold does to- that John has been in similar situations, so we have guilt tripping? emotional manipulation? And I’m certain that John can recognise those.

For the sake of my original post, I will add this comes after John was rudely awaken from a dream/memory of Jessica. And then Harold goes and mentions her too, adding salt to John’s still bleeding wounds.

It would have been easy for John to break right there, and use his own power against the man who at that moment held all the cards against him & waved them with a cruelty? entitlement? we will later learn it was just Harold’s desperation to recruit John and have him help him.

What I am saying is, that there is a good reason.

So it is a hint of what’s to come and John’s strength of character that he immediately leaves Harold with the minimum harm. Well, only Harold knew how much that hurt, but he also knows it could have been much, much worse.

#pilot

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odd-triceratops702 · 3 years

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Idk what I'd give if someone writes this.

But I had this concept for the years about mingcheng. So like here it goes...

Anyways, so the fic goes like this: it's about 2 years after WWXs death and NMJ is SLOWLY getting affected by his qi deviation and is getting desperate in slowing down the symptoms and what not.

But then he meets up with JC (who cares where, could be a discussion conference or him visiting whtevs) and develops a HUGE crush. But JC doesn't realise it cuz he's really spread thin with leading yunmemg and raising Jin ling. So they interact a lot, with NMJ trying to support JC whilst he's still alive.

Eventually because JC is a masochist - he falls in love with NMJ and confesses, assuming that NMJ will friendzone him. Only for NMJ to admit his feelings as well. But it's bittersweet cuz NMJ is still dying from qi deviation (JGY is still a dick) so they rush their relationship. JC gets married to NMJ (this being NMJ favourite memory and JC favourite memory is NMJ interacting with JL) whilst NMJ is still stable and have many little moments together (like both of them teaching jin ling how to shoot and JC teaching NMJ how to use zidian because he trusts NMJ enough to not hurt others with zidian. )

Anyways NMJ eventually dies when Jin Ling is like 8 (and JL only has a few memories of NMJ which destroys JC) and JC & JHS grieve together. BUTTT JC didn't know the full story because NHS wanted to be the only one to get revenge for NMJs murder. So JC just thinks NMJ died because of qi deviation and slowly accepts it but never moves on because NMJ was his soulmate.

Fast forward to the plot, JGY is being confronted by WWX and the gang and JGY admits to killing NMJ and JC is destroyed. And he is Hella pissed, and tries to kill JGY buttttt doesn't because morals or whatever. LXC still kills JGY. But the twist is, that WWX doesn't know that mingcheng was a thing.

Shenanigans happen with WWX and NMJ and somehow WWX fixes him and makes him a fierce corpse... But the twist is that NMJ only remembers his life BEFORE having qi deviations. *Shock and disbelief ensures *

And since of the WWX and LWJ didn't know mingcheng happened, LXC being in seclusion and NHS feeling too guilty and bitter to be near NMJ. NMJ has no where to go and is having a lot of self-loothing because he is a fierce corpse, can't remember some of his later years and didn't figure out that JGY was killing him. But then NMJ stumbles into Lotus Pier...

NMJ meets up with JC and JC is shooketh. Buutttt then the whole memories erased thing becomes plot revelant and JC becomes insecure ..."If he everything else EXCEPT us, their relationship wasnt that important to him than it was to me...."

So JC keeps his distance from NMJ and lets him stay at lotus pier cuz he's a masochist. Only NMJ to get attach to JC and slowly fold back into JCs life. JC still loves him and this situation is slowly destroying him that JL notices. (Also NMJ knows he feels something to JC but doesn't know what it is, and is repressing it because of self-loothing)

Jin Ling has been prepping to become the Jin Sect leader whilst Lan qiren is his Regent cuz JC REFUSES for JL to lose his childhood like he did.

And Lan Qiren was bored and wanted to give WWX and LWJ some alone time idk. Anyways, JL is free and studying under Lan Qiren and JC on how to be a sect leader and one day whilst staying in lotus pier, he hears JC crying alone in his room. And gets super over-protective cuz "no one makes my favourite parent uncle cry."

And then JL bumps into NMJ and recognises him as jiujius husband from a painting or whatever. And realises that NMJ is the one making JC depressed. JL confront him, saying something on the lines of "that's yr soulmate buuuttttt you don't even recognise him because of yr self-loothing"

NMJ realises that he loves JC and those feelings he has been repressing were because of this.

That night NMJ confronts JC and emotions soarrrrrr. They realise that they are being stupid and get back together. And live out their days together.

*Some additions that isn't in the main plot,

*WWXs reaction to mingcheng like "wait JC lost his virginity BEFORE ME!! NOOO"

*Jin Ling and WWX being overprotective over JC

*JC being Lan Qirens favourite even though they're not related (pre-timeskip, they would have tea once a month because Lan Qiren used to have tea with JC's parents but not as regularly as they do. JC goes Lan Qiren for advice and Lan Qiren sees himself in JC)

*LXC reconciling with NMJ, (Im actually a fan of NMJ being a bit mad at LXC because LXC forced 3zun brotherhood) but both of them working out their issues

*NMJ and NHS interacting, NMJ understanding why NHS did it and didn't hold a grudge

BUT JC is angry with him because NHS didn't ask for help and didn't consider JCs feeling on the matter.

Eventually JC and NHS reconcile after NHS reveals his true nature to JC (like be more sly and intelligent in front of JC) and stops being the lazy headshaker. NHS is still sect leader because NMJ wants to live with JC and NHS wants to change the Niè sect. (Also NHS wants to become chief cultivator) (I just want NHS to be an evil mastermind, an ethical bastard with JCs support)

*maybe LXC and NHS romance, LXC being angry with NHS and being hostile with NHS (and then bring in the enemies to lovers trope)

*JC and WWX reconciling extremely quickly because JC now knows that time is precious and had forgiven WWX a long time ago (during when NMJ and him were first dating because he didn't want useless baggage to ruin mingcheng so he confessed EVERYTHING to NMJ and they moved past it)

*WWX being the strict uncle to JL, and JC, having more child rearing experiences, can handle a bratty teenager whilst WWX hates his past self for giving him karma

So yeah this is a prompt I've BEEN thinking about for a while and I don't want to write it sooooo

#mingcheng #JC #jiang cheng #nie mingjue #the untamed #mdzs fic #nmj

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adhd-wifi · 4 years

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Wei WuXian, Trauma, & ADHD (Part One???)

What’s up y’all I’m here with another ADHD-Wei Ying post, featuring his trauma this time. In case anyone is wondering, here’s the first one. Full disclosure, I have not formally studied psychology and mental illnesses, speaking only from my own experiences plus what I’ve researched to understand my own conditions and otherwise. Specifically, I will be talking about ADHD and its relationship with PTSD, but not as much about the latter as I know less about it.

As usual, this is long and rambly and contains a bunch of spoilers, so it’s under the cut we go. :P

== Line Break ==

Wei WuXian grew up with a strong sense of loyalty towards the Jiang Sect, especially Jiang FengMian, believing that he owed them for giving him a home, a happy life, and the chance to become a cultivator, but never truly considering himself a proper family member, mostly due to Yu ZiYuan as her abuse towards him often targeted the fact that he wasn’t a “true” son to her and JFM. She also often compared Jiang Cheng to him, and JFM never bothered to address that problem and continued to favour WWX. As a result, WWX, who didn’t see JFM’s flaws due to gratitude and being spoilt by the man, ended up blaming himself for YZY’s abuse of himself and JC, and this led to him growing up internalizing the idea that he was a “burden”.

This is a common response in children with ADHD, since ADHD causes difficulty with emotional control and children in general tend to blame themselves when they are put into such a situation, so an ADHD-WWX would take this to quite an extreme (more on that later). Of course, we must also remember that he had been alone on the streets as a child for months, and there are surely factors of trauma involved in there. But I’ll also get into that later when I talk about this trauma as a whole.

Moving on, after Lotus Pier fell, we know WWX’s sense of guilt and debt to the Jiang Sect increased severely, and then he went through three more extremely traumatic experiences, namely; the golden core transfer, being thrown into the Burial Mounds, then actively taking part in a literal war. This was basically the most traumatic period of his entire life, and he was incredibly driven by a terrifying desire for revenge against the Wen Sect, which JC encouraged.

WWX maintained his sanity (for the most part) throughout all this. Of course, we do see him change drastically, his happy and positive personality almost completely gone, but for the most part, he seems…”alright”. Now, it’s important to note that WWX not EXPLICITLY showing signs of trauma is in fact fairly common, as people suffering from PTSD do often repress things and pretend things are okay, so take this theory I have with a grain of salt.

That theory is because he’s “alright” because he’s used to the trauma symptoms already. To elaborate, ADHD and PTSD (assuming this is what he ended up with), actually have a lot of overlap, to the point that even today there are multiple cases of misdiagnosis between the two, especially in terms of childhood trauma. In my theory, I’m guessing that WWX honestly thinks “he’s fine, because the symptoms he’s experiencing are basically things he’s already lived with throughout his life, and they just “got worse” because he lost his golden core”.

Of course, this begs the question: “What if he just has PTSD (as a child) and not ADHD then? He does have trauma from being on the streets and abuse with the Jiangs.”

It’s certainly possible, and I will admit that part of the reason I so badly want to think that WWX has ADHD is because I have it and I relate to him, but it really isn’t the only reason. I do see signs of ADHD that aren’t inherently related to PTSD (they could be, as everyone reacts and responds to trauma differently, but it’s not likely). Said signs which I mostly copy-pasted from my previous ADHD Wei Ying post are:

Came up with a wild and unorthodox solution for a difficult question despite already knowing the “proper” solutions (Literally just his head being full of thoughts and ideas that aren’t necessarily anxiety-based)

His idea of organisation is a chaotic mess to everyone else (Inability to recognise mess rather than the inability to keep things organised)

Obsessed with spicy food because everything else is is too bland (Sensory issues)

Locked himself in a cave to work on inventions while forgetting to eat and sleep (Hyperfixative behaviour)

Somehow remembered a short, nameless tune Lan Zhan played for him once despite there being several factors that should’ve led to him forgetting, all because that tune was a special moment between him and Lan Zhan

Now, I want to talk about one specific trait that is a symptom of both ADHD and PTSD-related trauma responses, which is the fact that WWX reacts explosively when he’s angered, though he never reacts like that for his own sake. Let’s examine the two scenes when he punched Jin ZiXuan for insulting/hurting Jiang YanLi.

In the first incident at the Cloud Recesses, he punched JZX and fought him badly enough to get himself expelled and caused JFM and the Jin-Thot himself to directly speak to Lan QiRen about it, but WWX is shown to have gotten over it fairly quickly, even playing with ants during his punishment and being proud of punching the peacock. In the second incident, which we know as the war camp soup incident, WWX again punched JZX but instead of fighting him, he angrily leads JYL away while making it clear that he thinks JZX doesn’t deserve her. We also know that WWX remained angry for quite a bit afterwards.

While it’s obvious the second incident is much more severe than the first, with JYL actually present and brought to tears because of JZX, and also the stress factor of them being in the middle of war, it’s still also very obvious that WWX’s explosive anger response has very significantly worsened. The main difference here is the fact that remained angry afterwards, meaning he’s lingering on the incident longer, while he got over the first incident easily. This alone leads me to believe that the first incident was more of an explosive ADHD response, while the latter was the result of both trauma and ADHD.

So anyways, this post got longer than expected and I’m honestly still not done. For now, I’ll leave this post as “Basically why I think Wei WuXian has both ADHD and PTSD”, and MAYBE post a part two about the specifics and comparisons of the two conditions.

I would love to discuss this further with anyone who may have better knowledge of PTSD and trauma responses, because I do find Wei WuXian’s relationship with his mental health a really strong point of his character. So if you do had knowledge in that field, please let me know if I made any mistakes and feel free to ramble on right back at me.

Thanks for reading!

#wei wuxian #mdzs #mo dao zu shi #wei ying #the grandmaster of demonic cultivation #the untamed #chen qing ling #cql #mdzs headcanons #my hcs #adhd wei ying #my posts #my ramblings #my metas #mental health metas

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eyeslikefoxglove · 4 years

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Episode 18 - Baby!Yunmeng Sibs & thoughts all over the place

Hey there, I’m doubling up today, still super tired, still scatterbrained, still not holding out hope that you’ll get very much insight from me today. I hope you enjoy!

Oh it is going to fuck WN up when he realises exactly what he just encouraged his sister to do.

... that’s not a chicken. Wyd Netflix translators?

A wild SL appears!

I’m not going to make a joke about foreign bodies in eyeballs because Not The Time. But god do I want to.

Those are big fucking needles to go sticking them into someone’s skull.

Is this again a cultural thing I’m missing? My first instinct is to think that WWX is giving his back to JC when he’s spinning his tale about BSSR because he doesn’t have the emotional strength to lie to his brother’s face. But maybe it’s just a Chinese thing to give you’re back to people when you’re the only one eating, idk, in Spain is super rude to not wait until everyone is seated and served to start eating.

Listen, the only reason I’ll accept as to why JC didn’t clock in on the lie and call WWX on his “if I’m ever in a dire situation go up the mountain and ask the immortal for help” bs is because he’s grieving so much right now. He knows his brother lived on the streets as a kid fighting dogs for food, that’s fucking dire and he’s aware of it.

(He’s eating the chicken’s skin, I can’t, chicken skin grosses me out so fucking much. I will eat blood sausage and cow’s tongue, but fuck chicken skin my god)

At this point I’m so deep in fanon that I don’t know if it is true or not. But I remember reading a fic in which JC found out WWX had turned to demonic cultivation because he’d lost his core, to WZL he assumed, and he kept wondering if it was his fault that WWX couldn’t get it fixed because he (JC) used WWX’s name with BSSR. Obviously we all know what happened and I don’t remember if the transplant was revealed or not but yeah, imagine thinking it is your fault your baby brother lost his core and then you went an led an army against him.

And no, I don’t consider the transplant JC’s fault because as the amazing drwcn (god I really want to write is as Dr Wen) pointed out here, his consent was never given, and make no mistake, it should’ve been asked and he was absolutely sound enough of mind to consent. I’ll bring that post up several times, fear not, you’ll get sick of it.

BABIES!

Bless Shijie’s soul, she took a look at baby!WWX and went “MINE. MY BABY. YOU CANT HURT HIM NOW”. (Of course the same happened with JC, but like, when he was born).

I AM NOT CRYING.

(Who tf am I kidding, of course I am, I don’t think anyone can’t watch the “we must always be together and never be parted” scene knowing how it goes and not cry)

You can see that JC and WWX are having two very different conversations when they’re putting Shijie in the carriage. Again going back to my WWX and Jaime Lannister parallel WWX is not afraid Shijie isn’t going to forgive him, he’s afraid that both her and JC will see him as useless when he can’t deliver his usual results. And I know he knows they love him but *points at his trauma conga line* that. Also, at this point he’s fully convinced he’ll meet JC down the mountain and they’ll go hopefully mount an offensive against the Wens; he isn’t thinking about demonic cultivation yet (he probably is, but more in abstract) so he’s probably trying to come up with something that will help him hide he’s coreless.

SL can’t find the words to apologise to his boyfriend and like everyone else in this damn drama why would they communicate like grownups?

It isn’t a particularly helpful observation but at least we can appreciate WQ’s braincell recognising they’re self-sacrificing idiots.

Can I take a second to point out that I love LWJ in a cold fury? Not only is he badass, but he knows where to hit where it hurts the most (stepping on the flag, “you’re not qualified to talk to me”, “what is black and what is white”) yes please I’ll take all of it. Btw same way I think he’s got a Yiling Patriarch kink I’m pretty sure WWX has a HGJ (that’s how I call this iteration of his character) one. And I can’t remember if our gremlin has ever seen him go on his cold righteous rage mode but please, tell me some of you remember and we’ll get WWX’s version of “yes fuck me up please” eyes (you know what I’m talking about, that face LWJ makes when WWX drinks his wine for him at the Jin banquet). I need to know. For science.

(Also, that would’ve made a great incense burner chapter instead of the mess that’s the library one. But then again, I’m basing my dirty thoughts on YiBo’s expression so ignore me. But yeah, can’t believe there isn’t a bunch of smut one-shots written with that scene in mind)

Knowing that JC is going to find out it is all a farce in the future I just want to give him a hug in all these scenes.

That’s all, thanks for reading, I’m gonna go waste the rest of my Sunday. Have a nice day!

#the untamed #cql #mdzs #mdzs live action #foxglove watches cql #foxglove watches the untamed #wei wuxian #lan wangji #wangxian #jiang yanli #jiang cheng #wen qing #wen ning #yunmeng shuangjie #yunmeng trio #yunmeng siblings #yunmeng bros

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orionsangel86 · 7 years

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I forget if you're someone who's talked about Cas-as-Jesus meta but if you are, I was just thinking how when JC first comes back in the bible, the apostles don't recognize him, and that whole Misha "wanderer" biz just made me think...what if when Cas comes back, the boys don't recognize him immediately? (for whatever supernatural Jesus-y reason)

Hey! Well, It wasn’t something I specifically talked about although I probably mused on the idea following all the imagery in 12x12.

I asked @justanotheridijiton if she knew the origination of the cas-as-jesus meta and being her brilliant self was able to dig up the following posts:

http://orangemeta.tumblr.com/post/157724216160/novaks-jesuscas-yells-loud-enough-to-shake

http://larinah.tumblr.com/post/77938028171/did-anyone-else-notice-the-huge-amount-of

http://dustydreamsanddirtyscars.tumblr.com/post/149717054935/8x16-remember-the-titans-9x03-im-no-angel

and I also know that @awed-frog has talked about this topic specifically:

http://awed-frog.tumblr.com/post/158554899597/holy-crap-i-just-realized-that-cas-its-literally

but basically yeah, we have had a lot of imagery in the show recently which alludes to this idea of Cas being a stand-in for Jesus Christ. He certainly has the whole “dying for humanity” thing going for him at the moment: :(

At one point or another in this series all of TFW have been compared to Jesus and they all have Jesus meta about them. I think this lead to speculation that Sam, Dean and Cas together basically are the Holy Trinity (the Father, the Son and the Holy Ghost) and that is a nice way of looking at things...

http://neven-ebrez.tumblr.com/post/63753207210/the-father-the-son-and-the-holy-ghost-who-are @neven-ebrez wrote about this ages ago so credit goes to her for that one.

But back to Cas specifically being Jesus, yes, this does certainly fit in his current predicament. Following much of what he went through in season 12, if he returns after 3 days (or 3 episodes maybe) from the place he finds himself in (the Empty?!) and is unrecognisable at first in his transformation, it would fit this theme. I do like the idea of this ‘wanderer’ being an AU Cas though. A sole wandering loner angel fighting on humanities side against the nightmarish hellscape of this apocalypse world, a world where Cas never had the Winchesters to guide him but still chose humanity after everything (further cementing how he IS the angel of humanity and a Jesus figure in his own way)

Our Cas has never had the chance to confront Chuck following everything that has happened to him, and whilst I am on ‘team Death’ for the mysterious person he meets in this new place (the Empty?) I would also like it to be Chuck because Cas DESERVES to have that conversation and therefore CLOSURE with his father.

There isn’t much more to Jesus’s story in the bible following his death and resurrection, but if the intention in season 12 was to ramp up the Jesus imagery, to bring us his ‘death for humanity’ followed by his resurrection, what does this mean for Cas going forward?

In the bible, following the resurrection, Jesus appears to his disciples several times, at first they do not recognise him as you say, or believe who he is, but he performs a miracle involving fish and then commands them to spread his word and then ascends to heaven (apologies for this super condensed version I’m not all that great with bible stuff). Applying this to SPN, it makes sense that Dean and Sam maybe won’t recognise Cas at first, or at least refuse to believe he is back - if its several episodes before Cas comes back and especially if they actually do burn his body, its gonna be an interesting reunion where Dean for sure won’t believe him or think he’s a trick or monster or something. I don’t know how much if anything this will have to do with the ‘wanderer’ as I think that’s gonna be in the AU but if there is bleed over I would like to see real Cas and AU wanderer Cas meet and show their differences (especially if AU Cas notices that real Cas is totally in love with Dean).

If Sam and Dean don’t recognise or believe Cas is Cas when he comes back, then just like Jesus did, he is gonna have to do something to prove he is who he says he is. Jesus performed a miracle with a load of fish, Cas wouldn’t need to go so grand scale. He just needs to look deeply into Dean’s oh so green eyes and say “Hello Dean” and Dean will melt. You all know its true.

As emotional as the reunion scene will be, that’s not the part of this comparison that bothers me. Its the ascending to heaven part that does that. Because I don’t want Cas anywhere near heaven and the other angels again. But I can very well see the show doing this just to get him away for another few episodes (as they so love to do).

Trying to think of it more metaphorically though, in terms of Cas’s transformation arc, when he comes back he could be enlightened in some way. his ‘ascent to heaven’ isn’t so much a literally ‘going backwards and having to deal with his horrible family’ again, but instead finding and accepting his own personal heaven. Where he belongs, and resolving some of the bigger points outstanding in his character arc. His home, his family, his loved ones, and faith in himself. That’s what Cas’s peace should be, that’s what his ‘heaven’ should be. So getting him on the road to these things should be the primary goal for his story in season 13. However he gets there, whether by fish miracles, wayward disciples or an unruly new born nephilim manchild, I want Cas's story to be a bit more uplifting now, and a bit more enlightened for our poor angel.

#castiel #destiel #spn meta #castiel as jesus #cas as a christ figure #spn speculation #season 12 #season 13 #season 13 wishlist #asks #anon #Anonymous

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cyclinglegs · 7 years

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I’ve doe it, after years of thinking about it, and talking about it, I’ve finally bitten the bullet. I’ve signed up for a French cyclotour in June with local outfit Unique Cycling Tours

I don’t think I’ve quite gotten my head around it yet, but having the opportunity to ride some of the climbs we see on TV is mind blowing. How about these apples.

MONT VENTOUX

ALPE D’HUEZ

COL DU GLANDON

CROIX DE FER

TELEGRAPHE

GALIBIER.

http://www.uniquecyclingtours.com/provence-and-french-alps/

There’s still some available spots if you’re interested.

Indian Pacific Wheel Race

They got off to a flying start on Saturday morning over in Freo, and as I sit here on Tuesday evening, there are 10 riders already in South Australia. The front runner Kristof Allagaert is setting an incredible pace, having ridden 1,829km since Saturday morning. Thats something like 82 hours somewhere around the 22 km/hr, thats not even allowing for any stoppage. Incredible stuff.

One of brilliant features of this race is the use and spread of social media covering this race. The event organiser , Jesse Carlsson, who unfortunately had to withdraw from the race on Sunday, in partnership with some prominent players in Aistralia including Cycling Tips and Curve Cycling, have been huge supports of social media around this event. Some of the features include:

Rider tracking – you can sit at your phone and watch the riders track across Australia, live. I’m not sure of the accuracy, but the tracking shows the riders barely metres apart, all withing the “No-Drafting” rules of course, incing their way across Australia. You can see when they stop, where they stop, and who’s sleeping with who. Have a look here. Indian Pacific Wheel Race Map Progress

Status Updates – Regular updates and photos on the IPWR Facebook Site Facebook – IndianPacificWheelRace

Rider interviews – Regular spot interviews by IPWR on their Facebook site. This feature really brings to the fore the character of the riders, their humor, the trials and tribulations as the days slowly go by.

And then there’s this one from South Australian Davin Harding. His character and dry wit shine through.

Rider Facebook and Instagram sites. Riders are regularly posting either themselves when they get a chance or have a support team posting on their behalf.

James Raison

Mike Hall

Kristof Allegaert

Sarah Hammond

Jackie Bernardi

The rider social edia sites can be accessed through the rider profile on the tracking tool. Click on the rider name and the profile will pop up, giving sponsor names, social media addresses etc

Rider Sponsor Facebook and Instagram updates such as

Curve Cycling

Sportful

Rapha

Ben Rides

Apologise for the many I’ve missed.

It would be good to see mainstream media get behind these hard core athletes, the nation needs to see what these guys are doing.

And us, we should be doing everything we can to support the riders as they pass through our hometown, so track them as they come in and get out there and give them some moral support.

3 Peaks

Funny thing about the Peaks Challenge Falls Creek. After the months and months of training (remembering i only went for the weekend, i didn’t ride the bloody thing), planning, donuts, coffee and the like, the weekend went by so bloody quickly it almost feels as if it didn’t happen. But happen it did. Its an extraordinary weekend, a lads weekend away, but when you peel away the layers, its much much more. Each rider taking part has a books worth of stories in their personal struggles to get to the line, let alone ride it.

I mentioned a few posts back a gentlemen called Paul, a strong rider who last year was found bent over his bike with 2 km’s to go, suffering stroke like symptoms and unable to finish. Unfortunately, and fortunately at the same time, he recognised the same symptoms again and chose to withdraw from the ride. Sorry to hear this news Paul, but very glad you made the right decision.

I’ve been to Falls Creek 5 times now, helped with the training for each, and am happy to report that of the 25 attempts over these 5 years, attempts where the rider actually crossed the start line, we’ve had 25 completions. There were some doubts we would achieve that, particularly as there was doubt over JK’s hamstring, something he tore about 5 weeks out, something which curtailed an already compromised training program. Bugger us all, he did it. This guy has an unbelievable ability to push through the mental barriers and finish against the odds.

Sitting back as a casual observer for the 3rd time this year, I was ecstatic not only seeing each of the riders in our group cross the line, but standing down at the finish line the emotions etched across the faces of each and every rider crossing the line gave only a hint if what was going through their minds, but I felt an outsider walking through finishers on the other side of the line. The looks of euphoria, pain banished, exultation, relief, disbelief scrawled across the faces was something to behold. That was an extraordinarily hard ride to finish. I rode down to Anglers rest with a mate on the Saturday. I’d forgotten how painful that ride back up is. My mate was tackling it for the first time. He’s in awe of the 3peakers finishing that ride with 200km in their legs. Same here. Well done to all who completed.

On a finishing note, a couple of successes at both ends of the spectrum.

John C was a welcome blow-in to the group, a friends friend who had set himself a sub-9 target. JC had put the training in and was confident, but also very focused, quiet and a little withdrawn. JC rode a sub 9 ride and was understandably wrapped with the result. At dinner on Sunday night we almost couldn’t shut him up. Well done JC.

At the other end, Hack, who similarly came in as a friend of a friend last year but with an interrupted training regime last year, came in this year with with a few more laps under the belt, hit WTF approx before the cutoff time, beat the Trap Yard gate closure, but struggled across the top, ended up with flat batteries on his from light, and ended up getting the support of a motorcycled marshal who shone his headlights in front of Hack and another rider to help them cross the line, albeit after the 13 hour cutoff. Suffering hypothermia, Hack was taken to the medical centre for an hour or so before being released. He ended up crossing the apartments threshold to the supporting appreciative roar of our group, wide smile on his dial, pretty much summed up the weekend.

Well done all, it was a pleasure to spend the weekend with you.

A few pictures from my trip below.

Sagan has ridden La Classicissima 7 times now, with two seconds, and two fourths. Saturday was his 78th second place of his career. Imagine if just a few of those had been victories

Lakes Cycling Shoes – Lake MX 237

Before Christmas i bought a pair of Lake MTB 237 shoes, the old road shoes were falling apart, and to be honest, I was looking at buying some cx/mt shoes for my gravel road riding, and the occasional possible cross race (tbc), and the thought of buying 2 pairs of shoes wasn’t sitting well. I wanted some decent shoes, but didn’t want to spend a bucket load on 2 pairs.

After much deliberation, i decided to buy the one pair, a good pair, and not really worrying about riding road with mountain bike shoes. Yes they are a little heavier, but hey, I’m 50+ years old, so a few extra grams at the bottom end of town wont hurt that much. On the upside, i dont have to worry about slipping over on those bloody slippery cleats whilst walking back to the table with a cuppa in each hand.

So, i bis pretty much the same as the CX 237 road shoe, but comes in a MTB package. Carbon sole, full leather upper and double boa fastening system. My first in all 3 categories.

Apart from the looks, the feature that grabbed me initially was their reputation for being wider than usual, and trying them on certainly didn’t disappoint.

The Boa fastening system provided comfortable but firm tightening across the top of the foot which steps up the control of the tightening that you just don’t quite get with my old ratchet and velcro fasteners.

Out on the road, it took a while to get used t the new fit. The first three to four 4 hour+ rides had me finishing up with a numbing left foot. I couldn’t quite figure it out, and it got a little disturbing for a while there, but the numbing on the longer rides eventually disappeared.

Those longer rides were during some of the hotter days, and invariably I’d turn up at home soaked in sweat and salt encrusted kit. Taking the shoes off after these sweat fests would show black staining from the black leather. A little bit disturbing, however not permanent, the stains came out in the wash and after a while, the staining stopped happening.

Once the numbing stopped, I came to admire the shoes, they are nice and stiff when i needed them to be, but super comfortable due to their width, inside fit and the nice smooooooth supple leather. They now fit like a pair of old gloves, i hardly notice them any more, which can only be a good thing. It’s probably not surprising that I didn’t notice them at all when riding up the back of falls/WTF a few weekends back.

The upshot is that I found them well suited to flat and hilly rides either on the road and gravel. I haven’t tried them in a cx race yet, but i haven’t found any reason why they wouldnt suit. The carbon sole gives these shoes excellent power transfer characteristics, with a stiff feeling under even the hardest out-of-the-saddle pedaling efforts like WTF, whilst still maintaining a good amount of flex when off the bike walking around holding onto those coffees.

The rubber MTB sole is strong and looks like it will take a lot of punishment, providing plenty of clearance for those trail riding days.

All up, I would highly recommend you have a close look at the Lake shoes next time you are looking at replacing or upgrading. I’m glad i spent the little extra on some decent shoes, and also happy i chose the MTB sole, although I’m sure there would be many roadies out there that would be frowning on my choice, but hey, I just enjoy being out in the great outdoors.

Oh, I bought these shoes at the Bike Bug in Stepney, what is rapidly becoming one of my favourite lbs’s. https://www.bikebug.com/index.php

Milan San Remo

A classic finish to this years Milan San Remo with Peter Sagan showing that he’s was the strongest rider of the day, jumping out with around a km to go, but Michal Kwiatkowski showed on the day he was a little smarter than Peter Sagan.

A brilliant finish right down to the line.

In his seventh attempt at La Classicissima, Sagan has finished second twice, and fourth twice. Sagan’s race statistics show he has ridden 558 races, won 92 races and finished on the podium 204 times. Saturday was his 78th second place of his career.

Rider of the Week – Lorne McLurg

Thats Lorne, bottom left

Lorne is a first generation Australian of Irish parents. Eldest of three children, he was born in 1971 and raised in Adelaide. He has lived and worked interstate and overseas for a few years before returning to settle down. He is married, with 3 primary school aged kids. Lorne completed an Arts degree in Geography, that never got any serious use other than in games of Trivial Pursuit.

Now, he jointly owns a Project Management Consulting business, Moto Projects, focused on larger commercial, retail and high rise residential construction projects.

Lornes first career beyond trivial pursuit was as an outdoor adventure guide, but realized the lifestyle, although fit, fun and challenging, had its limitations…mostly fiscal. He gave that away as a full time professional endeavor after 7 years and phased across into a second career as a full-time project manager.

Lorne has been riding bikes for as long as he can remember. He was one of the founding members of the FRA PowerOn team in early 2003 and has been riding ‘pretty’ consistently 2-4 times a week with the mob since then.

I can’t see myself ever stopping riding for any reason other than obviously, life and death ones! Not known for my hill climbing capability, but more so for my love of descending…. the real reason for why we climb the hills in the first place!!

How long have you been cycling?

About 44 years…. Got a trike when I was about 2 then my first real bike…a yellow dragster…when I was about 5. Not stopped riding since then.

Was a BMX bandit in the late 70’s & 80’s, as a founding member (with my siblings) of the Tea Tree Gully BMX club, raced every week from the age of 10 til about 16.

Tea Tree Gully BMX Facebook site

I discovered road bikes when I was 14 for fitness and commuting to school, then Uni and work. Got into Mountain biking after a trip to the USA in 1992 and a chance to ride the famous Slick Rock trail amongst others around Moab and the Colorado Rockies.

I got back into regular Road biking when I moved home to Adelaide in 1996 and have been riding around the beaches and hills 2-4 times a week since then.

What got you started in cycling?

Father Christmas and from there the love of the wind in my face and the freedom to cover distance and see beautiful places under my own steam and at my own pace

How many bikes do you own and what is your main go to bike?

3, a new Canyon Ultimate SLX 9.0 purchased in Feb 2017 is the go to at the moment. I have a Specialized SWorks Tarmac SL4 currently having some carbon repairs done on it and a Specialized Crave SL 29er MTB (Single Speed) that is my go to for rides with the kids and when the weather is crap.

What bike do you covet?

I’ve been lucky enough recently to build up the bike of my dreams. The Canyon with SRAM Etap, Zipp 303 NSW’s, Garmin Edge 820 is about as good as it gets I think.

How do you store your bikes?

Mostly in the house. The MTB lives in the shed with the wife and kids bikes and the roadies live in the house where I can get at them easily for the early morning before work rides!

Do you do all your own maintenance or do you use a LBS? If so, which one?

I do most of my own simple stuff, but when time is limited or it’s a bit trickier then Anthony Mezzini at Elbows Akimbo or Pete at BMC are my go to gurus.

What cycling specific tools do you have in your “bike shed”?

I’ve accumulated lots of little gadgets over the years. My favorites currently are my ParkTools torque driver and ParkTools workstand.

What is your favourite piece of cycling kit or accessory?

My Garmin 820. Love how it uploads straight to Strava and does live segments to help keep me honest….and my new bright blue Shimano Sphyre RC9 shoes.

What do you love about cycling?

The camaraderie of cycling with my bunch. Politically incorrect banter and the gentle push to ride more and faster, that comes with riding with a bunch of mates… that and the beer! Ride Bikes, Drink Beer, PowerOn being one of our motto’s

What annoys most about cycling?

Idiot riders who don’t show simple understanding and respect to other road users, who antagonize drivers, chase fame through social media and thus give all cyclists a bad name. It shouldn’t be that hard to ‘treat others as you want them to treat you’

Other than yourself, who is your favourite cyclist?

Peter Sagan…he’s the all-round cyclist.

If you could have dinner with 3 people in the cycling world, who would they be and why?

With a biased agenda, because I have a strong and independent daughter who I want to see having access to equal and sustainable opportunity and income – Rochelle Gilmore to discuss the challenges and opportunities in Women’s cycling and strategize how to raise it to par with the men’s league, Rob Arnold to further the discussion on how to raise women’s cycling to par with the men’s league on the basis that it’s all in the media power to do so, and Nick Green to discuss the role Australia’s peak body needs to play in developing and supporting cycling and in particular Women’s Cycling.

Where would you take them to eat?

Chianti Classico – Can’t go past a good feed of Rabbit

What are your craziest/fondest cycling memories?

Riding the burbs for hours on end with my BMX bandit mates, jumping and skidding our way down the streets and through the parks and creek reserves, getting muddy, scraped and bruised, every weekend and loving it!

Have you had any nasty crashes? If so how did the worst occur and what was the consequence?

Had my fair share. Too many to remember them all. Used to average one car hit a month when I was a bike commuter in London in the mid 90’s. Most recent nasty was being hit from behind at the finish line of a Vets Crit, by some numpty who had their head down sprinting for 20th. I hit the pavement at about 45Kph and busted 3 ribs and punctured a lung. Put me off the bike for 6 weeks.

What is your favourite post ride coffee/tea spot, and what would you normally buy as a treat?

Cibo King William Road – Been going there since it opened. Grande Flat White being my usual. Sometimes accompanied by a piece of Banana Bread….not that my gut needs it!

Do you have a favourite overseas country in mind you’d love to take your bike to?

Would love to take the Roadie and MTB back to France. Did a lot of snowboarding, rock-climbing and mountaineering there, but didn’t have the space to take the bike so would love to go back just to ride. Such awesome terrain to adventure in and the descents…breathtaking for someone like me who loves going down.

What is your favourite local training route?

Windy point to Belair, then up through the National Park via Saddle Hill Rd and on up to Crafers and back into town via the old freeway. A perfect 1.5 hr outing for me and can be done before work and herding children begins in the morning.

What is the biggest cycling lie you have told a partner?

Probably the same one’s we all try to get away with…I’ve had that ‘new piece of kit’ for ages!

What cycling related thing would you like for your next birthday?

More dope socks as I need to keep on top of my games in that department.

Is there a local cycling outfit/company/cycling club/cycling group/person that you would like to plug?

Elbows Akimbo. Anthony is a very thorough bike fitter and mechanic and generously supports our team.

Do yourself a favour and get a bike fit from him. Amazing how it can help your comfort and power

From a non-cycling perspective, what do you love about Adelaide?

I love the small city / big Country town environment. Its something we need to learn to celebrate and not condemn. Having lived and visited many cities around the world, I know we have it good here. Naysayers should try living the same lifestyle they enjoy here in Europe or Asia…unless you have a few $Mill a year in income, you’ll be very sadly disappointed.

What is your go to place when interstaters come to Adelaide?

I think the go to ride for visitors to Adelaide has to be Old freeway, over Lofty, across through Uraidla to Deviation Rd, back along Loby Rd to Basket Range, Ashton then across to Marble Hill and down Montacute and back to the city for Coffee in Vardon Place.

Is there anything else you feel like talking about?

I think I’ll have bored everyone enough by now!

Not all all Lorne, a pleasure to hear from you, love the early day BMX bandit storys, although I can’t quite get the image of you with Nicole Kidman style hair out of my head.

Till next time

tight spokes

iPib

Race Across Australia – IPWR I've doe it, after years of thinking about it, and talking about it, I've finally bitten the bullet.

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