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lilithhb · 2 days

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🫀Experiences;

One night, in a room.

Years ago I went to a school trip with some friends.

I had these friend who I loved a lot during that time, I am a very loving person so I remember hugging him a lot and he would do the same. It was nice because he was taller than me so I could listen to her heart every time I wanted to by hugging him.

As I’ve had a heart condition for a time now he always took care of me making sure that I felt okay. Something that beyond cardiophilia I always found it cute.

“Did you take your pills?” “Make sure not to eat much junk food” “How is your heart?” “Everything okay with your dumb pump” are small examples of the things he used to say to me. I had that trust in which I would lie next to him and sometimes he would put his hand on my chest while doing stuff, feeling my heart. Something that I told him made me feel safe.

I remember the movement of his hand going up and down following my heartbeat as Ive always had a visible heartbeat.

I remember him getting worried when my heart decided to skip some beats while his hand rested on my chest. “Its fine” I would say, “It does that sometimes” and the he would say that it should not happen again as if I could control my heartbeat hehe….

During that trip he was extra careful with me. We had long walks and he would always walk next to me as I would get tired easily because of my condition. My heart always beating erratically with skips and pauses with the sun making me a sweat mess. He would take my wrist to feel my pulse just to know about my condition. One time he even putted his palm against my chest to feel it directly while he told me I should follow his breathe to calm my heart.

One afternoon after one of those long walks both of us sneaked into his room (girls and boys could not share room during this trip for obvious reasons) to rest and talk. We had small conversations but I was too tired to keep the dialogue going, so after a small silence he got closer and laid his hand on my chest once again. My heart beating strong following a fast pace.

“Does it hurt?” He asked, I started blushing for some reason, it never actually mattered to me that he put his hand on my chest but somehow I felt more vulnerable this time. “No, I mean yeah kinda” I reply. “You should rest then…”

I don’t really remember who things went, but we lay down on his bed, where after some time trying to sleep he would sit and watch me straight to my eyes asking me if he could listen to my heart. My heart started to race more in answer to the question, which I stuttered to reply with a yes.

He would lay his head on my chest while his hand rested on my wrist. I remember that I was having an arrhythmia during that time, so he would comment about every skip and rhythm change my heart would make, he told about how beautiful it was for him to listen the one thing that keeps working so hard, and kinda poorly, to keep me alive.

I remember his breathing, his head moving up and down my every shake my chest had in response to hard little pump. His attempts to follow my heartbeat with smalls “pump pum” coming from his mouth.

I loved every second of it. I never felt soy listened in my life. And we stayed like that for hours until the night came. I did fall sleep at the end, when I woke up I was hugging his head against my chest, with my heart beating slowly with the same pace of his breathing.

This was my attempt of writing some of my cardiophile experiences, sorry for the bad English I am not a native speaker;;; I have many more to tell so perhaps this is only the first of many posts with my experiences, who knows?

#cardiophilia #heartbeat #dark cardiophilia #female heartbeat #irregular heartbeat #stething #heart murmur

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chilapis · 5 hours

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As a result of being burdened by knowledge, and an indulgent inability to remain silent, I would like to discuss scent notes and perfumes that I associate with Childe in consideration of his nature and nurture. I’ll also likely be redoing the post in which I compared him to garnets (x) tomorrow; this is because that post was genuinely intended to be a skeleton and there are many details that were overlooked, both in regards to him and the stone itself, which feels like injustice twofold. Anywho, let’s begin.

For the purposes of this, I’ll first be tackling the elephant in the room. The official Tartaglia perfume, which was formulated by Primaniacs in collaboration with MiHoyo. I do not care for this perfume, I disagree with half of its the associations, and I will personally be disregarding it here onwards because I’m not legally prohibited from doing so.

It should be noted that aside from the “Tartaglia” name and face slapped onto this scent, it also mentions its association with the hydro element; I do not think it would be unreasonable to believe that this perfume can be seen to extend to the hydro element as a whole rather than be exclusive to him. This is the interpretation I choose to utilise.

I will however state my (reluctant) agreement with few of the associated notes mentioned. Namely, Tonka Beans; Bergamot and Orange flower (mentioned together as they will be tackled in one go); Cumin and Nutmeg, and Agarwood.

Tonka Beans make sense on several grounds; firstly, they’re actually one of the most common ingredients in masculine brews (see: Giorgio Armani Black Code; Tom Ford Tobacco Vanille; Givenchy Givenchy Play Intense). Tonka creates a beautiful and comforting warmth in the scent; it’s quite similar to vanilla, but much… smokier, one may say. You’ll notice that a lot of the ingredient I focus on will have much to do with warmth. Historically, the seeds would be dried and soaked in rum for a certain amount of time in order to extract the scent, though artificial substitutes exist to offer the same result now.

Bergamot and Orange Flower are both citrus notes, though the former offers a much stronger one in comparison to the citrusy-floral amalgam that the latter offers. The reason I agree with these is that citrus notes are seen as quite common in aquatic scents as they recall the freshness of the sea breeze (see: Armani Giorgio Acqua Di Gio; Royall Lyme of Bermuda Royall Yacht; Czech & Speake Ausonia).

Cumin and Nutmeg are both spices, so one can imagine that they lead to a warm, comforting, and, well, spicy, scent. Remember how I said only a short while ago that warmth will be a prominent focus of mine? Exactly. No matter where he travels to, no matter where he goes, I’m quite certain he’d like a scent that reminds him of home; considering perfume etiquette requires one to wear fragrance according to the weather and occasion, I imagine warmer scents will be much more reminiscent of the contrasting, overbearing cold conditions that his nation offers.

Agarwood (the wood of Gods) — often interchangeable with oud in the fragrance world, despite both different— is such a deliciously warm and spicy note as well; it can be a bit overwhelming for some if it is found to be too heavy in a scent (which is quite common and rather easy to manage) but it can provide such a delicious base if handled right.

With these justifications done, I will now begin to write the notes that I personally associate with him.

I simply cannot deny the association of musk; another one of the most common notes found in perfumes. It’s warm, it’s soft and heavenly, it’s delicious. It is often seen as bringing a more primal, instinctual, and almost animalistic mood to the fragrance. This comes as no surprise considering it was historically obtained from male musk deers’ glands, even if we are now able to enjoy this scent artificially as well due to modern development and discoveries.

Speaking of animal origins and perfumes, did you know that whale vomit was traditionally a rather popular ingredient in perfumes? Ambergris is a substance that comes from the digestive system of sperm whales; it smells quite foul when fresh, as one would reasonably expect. It smells like faeces, actually. Again, as one would reasonably expect. However, it… becomes pleasant after drying down? Warm, musky. Ambrein is then extracted from the ambergris to be used in brews; rather, it is the quantity of of this alcohol that dictates the quality of the ambergris. It is still used, however due to issues with both cost and access it has been replaced with a synthetic counterpart for the most part, with notable exceptions. It also has a history of being used an aphrodisiac? But so has musk, so, such usage is quite common with animal-origin ingredients and notes, but I digress. It was just a fact I find somewhat curious.

Leather is a big one as well. Do I have much explanation for this? No. Leather scents can come in a wide variety, from smooth, cozy, suave and sensual, to rough, primal, smoky, and beastly. It mostly depends on what ingredients are being used and which notes are being aimed to replicate; the fragrance house of Memo, Paris is extraordinary at replicating different types of leather scents; they’re arguably my favourite when it comes to scents, actually. But either way, there is a kick to it; a spicy, warm, and intense presence that you cannot deny.

I would like to give special mention to saffron, tobacco, rum, gin, bourbon, amber (especially amber), vanilla, cardamom and other spices for bringing a similar warmth and comfort to their scents that I’m absolutely certain would suit him very well. Also vetiver, because it brings a woody delight to any fragrance it embraces.

Now comes the discussion of perfumes; arguably what I’m most excited for and the main reason that I wished to write this.

First off the list is Ocean Leather, by Memo, Paris.

Now, the official site claims it to comprise of Vetiver, Nutmeg, Cedar, Mandarin oil, Sage, and a leather accord. It also has basil and elemi, so I’m certain you can imagine how all of this together with the mandarin oil would offer you a truly citrusy, aquatic scent, combined the comfort of leather, nutmeg, vetiver and cedar. This, along with the gorgeous whale artwork, makes this almost perfect for him. Almost.

This is the only one in the list that I haven’t smelt myself (because somehow, much to my dismay, no stores seem to be carrying it) however, I’ve heard a lot of people review it to be more of a… clean scent? Which I feel doesn’t suit Ajax at all.

For the record, fragrances are often divided as being either clean scents, or dirty scents. Clean scents are those that are not overwhelming, these are scents containing light, refreshing notes. You should expect something like citrus-heavy, something that’s very suited to spring with light, fresh floral notes. Something you’d smell in a professional setting, in an office perhaps. It’s a mild, timid scent. And I do not think it suits Ajax in any sense of the way, whether you take into account his domestic life or his professional life.

Dirty scents are warm, musky; they’re heavy, they’re entrancing, they’re so deeply connected to the Earth. They feel like browns and reds, like clay. No matter which face of him you choose to assign a scent to, it’ll likely fall under this. Imagine the sweet and gentle atmosphere at home, where he and his siblings huddle together as he cherry-picks the details of the sights he witnessed adventures, ensuring to leave out all the parts unfit for the children to hear. Do you imagine him to smell like a bouquet? Or do you imagine him to smell like home itself? A smoky sweetness that shares the depth of the abyss as it mixes with his body’s chemistry?

Or, imagine him in the battlefield; would this man smell like spring? Or would he smell like a mix of iron, sweat, musk and leather? There you have your answer.

So I’m not all too sure about this fragrance simply because I don’t have a personal reference to go off of, and everyone that I know in real life, as well as every online forum I seem to run into, calls it very light. I even saw someone refer to it as an office-scent? He is not wearing a damn office scent. However, if the citrusy notes are at balance with the leather and nutmeg and it’s offering a conflicting, fresh yet potently warm fragrance? That suits him perfectly.

The second fragrance I’d like to discuss is Royall Yacht by Royall Lyme of Bermuda.

It is another aquatic fragrance and my goodness am I in love. It perfectly balances that need for aquatic accords through citrus and that need for warmth through the warmer notes. It has vetiver, lemon, cedar, musk, and amber (along with a few floral notes but they’re not the focus). Although reading off of the notes, one might imagine this to not be so strong in its aquatic mood due to the citrus being so limited, but reviews will prove otherwise. Most people state that it perfectly encapsulates the feeling of the lulling sea breeze as one sets sail. This does come with its own issue however, and that is the fact that this house in general (Royall) is not… particularly known or admired for the longevity of their fragrances. What I’m saying is that their fragrances don’t last very long at all. I say this from personal experience (due to owning a few fragrances) as well as online observation; perhaps an hour or two at most and then they are as good as gone, and that is if you’re not partaking in any strenuous activities that might make you break out in a sweat. I imagine this wouldn’t even last ten minutes on him, so I don’t, quite see a point in its purchase or wear for such an active man.

The third I’d like to discuss is Opus XIV Royal Tobacco, by Amouage.

The notes are within the picture above: we’re seeing cardamom, musk, vetiver, agarwood, osmanthus, tobacco, licorice, benzoin, bergamot: I’m sure that you can tell that we’ve left the aquatic scent category by now. Though bergamot is present to give a citrusy feel, it’ll most just heighten the intensity of the other notes rather than offer its own unique mood. It’ll be a very dark, carnal, spicy scent with a lot of depth and smokiness to it; perhaps not suited for Ajax, a gentle family-man, but certainly fitting for the 11th Harbinger. I adore the longevity of Amouage fragrances, they’re known for their gorgeous bottles and their interesting ingredient and note selection, and this perfume is no exception.

It is such a mouthwateringly delicious scent, I cannot stress this enough. Also, the handle is made to recall the image of a Khanjar in one’s mind; Khanjars are traditional Middle Eastern and South Asian blades in the shape, usually worn by men on the hip. They’re crafted in the shape of a ‘J’ and their handles are made from a variety of materials, including but not limited to bone (especially camel bone), gold, and silver.

My last and most important association is that of Iberian Leather, by Memo, Paris.

This is such a beautiful winter fragrance; I actually got it not too long ago but I have been so deeply in love with it. It lacks aquatic accords but it has a spiciness that can handle his duality. This fragrance can provide that intimidating, overwhelming, animatic atmosphere but it can also surround one with that comforting, cozy urge to huddle in. I call it a winter fragrance because it is just that heavy and warm; although I’m personally not one to follow the etiquette of limiting scents to seasons as I prefer heavier scents all year round, people have noted this to be perfect for winter use both in real life/personal expedience, and in online discussion. Its notes include cedarwood, vetiver, agarwood, oakmoss, amber, musk, vanilla, osmanthus, cinnamon, bergamot, clove, saffron, sandalwood, and a few flower notes as well. So you’re once again getting that wooziness and that spice but you’re not getting the sweet and tender darkness of tobacco and licorice. It’s still intense and it’s still deeply layered in its scent profile but it’s not dark. It’s something that’ll suit him no matter the situation he is in or who he has in his company, and this is arguably one of the best scents to douse your winter coat in because it is so, comforting, so warm, so cozy. It is so earthen and natural. It feels like sitting next to a bonfire on a cold night. It feels like him. Not to mention, the longevity of this (or, the whole house, rather) is very impressive; you can apply it in the morning and it’ll still very much be on you when you sleep, even if barely. No matter how hot it is outside, how much you’ve been sweating, it will be on you, so help you god.

I would also like to give special mention to a few other perfumes that were close but fell short, such as Russian Leather Memo Paris; Giorgio Armani Acqua Di Gio; Giorgio Armani Black Code; Flåm Memo Paris; Vancleef & Arpels Ambré Imperial; Vancleef & Arpels Tonka Imperial, and more.

With all associations and justifications stated, I’d like to conclude this post by also mentioning what he smells like? A lot of people forget to take into consideration that no fragrance smells the same on everyone; it has a lot to do with your body chemistry (& natural body odour) as well as what you’re doing throughout the day. For example, on some people, floral notes tend to be more prominent, while on others, vanilla or more gourmand notes might appear more prominent instead. Although I can’t speculate much on which notes would be more prominent on him (vanilla; I want to say vanilla) I do feel like he’d smell like a mix of his chosen fragrance and iron. I feel like from being in battle all day, the scent would become… even more him, due to constantly mixing with his own sweat and body odour throughout the day, which then further combines with the unmistakably metallic scent of blood if business requires more extreme measures,

I will say however I imagine his fatui fur-collar cloak to smell like the most comforting thing in the world. I’ve noticed this to be quite common in winter clothing somehow, especially when you wear it quite commonly. One does not realise (and does not care, really) whether they have applied anything on it already and just about on their normal routine, spraying it over and over until it just… seemingly sets in, creating a scent so unique to the wearer because it now smells like them and the fragrance combined. It smells like home, it smells like all the memories of your past winters that you spent with those who love you. It smells like solace and relief and a happy ending and I think he deserves that bittersweet comfort of domestic nostalgia.

#tartaglia #childe #genshin impact #childe tartaglia ajax #I had to hold myself because because I was about to say something else in his personal scent section but I think I should head to bed.#🥀#🫀

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