#⤥ mairu speaks !
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poke poke.. (pokes you on the cheek)
bites your finger. can i help you
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i. ive made mistakes okay
cant tell if youll regret this or not.. watch out for magic anon that might turn you into ikemenlope
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Do you think Izaya would be scared of dolls or at least be uncomfortable when around them? I actually like collecting dolls, but then the thought came across me since he doesn’t like fish eyes
I feel like it depends on the doll! If it's one of those uncanny valley, super-realistic ones, with the not-quite-right glass eyes, then it's absolutely make him uncomfortable.
I can also imagine back when he was younger and still took care of his sisters, Mairu and Kururi could have caught on to something like that and always run up to their big brother in stores with the most haunted-ass looking things BEGGING him to get it for them. The one time they convinced him was his biggest regret, as they left it around the house in places where it'd just be STARING at him, including in his own room where he wouldn't notice until he went to bed that night lol
#I feel like people don't take advantage of the cursed family potential the Oriharas have enough#izaya orihara#orihara mairu#orihara kururi#durarara!!#the broker speaks
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um... hello
i’ve been wondering how did you go about characterizing Nanako and Mimiko?
i’m slowly going through your jujutsu kaisen fanfics, michikatsu has my heart, and I’m surprised how well you wrote nanako and mimiko in exponential growth so far.
were some of it headcannon? or did you come to those characterization conclusions based on what was shown in the manga?
Thank you for your nice words about my fanfics. Nanako and Mimiko were a pretty big reason for why I started wanting to write fanfic of jujutsu kaisen, because number one Geto's family is the most interesting thing about him as a character and how he contrasts with Gojo, and number two they're crimminally underutilized in canon. I also found their deaths unnecessarily gratuitous. It was a start of a long series of Gege wasting female characters.
Which is why I wanted to explore them more in fic, and also just explore the idea of Geto's found family. As for where I came up with the idea for their characters, I'll answer below the cut.
There were enough hints in canon about Nanako and Mimiko's cursed techniques that I was able to extrapolate what each of them did, voodoo dolls that force others to commit suicide and cursed photography. I also took a little inspiration from their character designs, Mimiko is obviously meant to be the dark / gloomy one, whereas Nanako dresses like a Gyaru. The fact that they're always near each other / clutching each other hints to a bit of a codependent relationship as well.
However, the rest of their characterization I basically had to make up. The biggest source of inspiration for them comes from Durara!! which is another urban fantasy series by Ryoga Narita, which deals with a bunch of supernatural creatures like dullahans, and vampires existing in an urban setting. I draw a lot of inspiration from Durarara!! because a big thing that Ryoga Narita writes well is having loads and loads of characters share screen time in a bigger story which is something I want to accomplish for Jujutsu Kaisen and it's huge cast. Especially since the aim of my fanfic series is to focus the spotlight more on the minor characters as opposed to the main trio.
Ryoga Narita is pretty famous for his eccentric characters, all of them are crazy in their own special way. One of the ways he manages to balance so many characters is each of them kind of has a gimmick or central concept they're based around. Mimiko and Nanako take a lot of inspiration from Izaya's little sisters, Mairu and Kurui.
Mairu and Kurui are based around the trop of "twins having opposite personalities", but it's a parody of that trope because they're doing it on purpose. Basically, the story is that when they were younger their older brother Izaya emotionally abused them by saying that if they were twins and the same person one of them should kill themselves because they had an extra. (Izaya is a lovely person by the way). They wanted to please their brother, so they decided to write all their personality traits down on a list and then divide them equally. Their theory is that by balancing out their strengths and weaknesses between each other they create the "ultimate human being."
Kurui decided to be the quiet one who's eccentric at school, like a Rei Ayanami expy, she wears her gym clothes to the middle of class and doesn't socialize with anoyone. Mairu decided to be the loud, attention hungry, eccentric one. She screams to everyone the first day of class that she's bisexual and willing to date multiple partners. When a bunch of girls try to bully her, she literally almost forces them to swallow thumb tacks. Kurui barely talks, and Mairu does all the speaking for her.
The twist is that they're intentionally doing that, it's an act for both of them. When they're texting people, or when they're in an online chatroom Kurui becomes the talkative one and writes in paragraphs, while Mairu gives one word responses. Which suggests that at any time they could just swap personalities. Both of them also consider themselves the same person, they want to date the same guys, and if they disagree on anything they have mental breakdowns.
So Nanako and Mimiko share the same central concept, but the thing is while I love Kurui and Mairu and their character concept is excellent they literally have no character development in the story they are in. They're never challenged over the fact that they are super codependent and can't exist without each other. They never really grow past the trauma of the emotional abuse that their brother inflcited on them. It seems like a subversion of the "twins with the same personalities" trope at first, but then they don't really go anywhere with it. Also, there's a lot of icky twin incest subtext between the two of them. They just legit kiss once because light novels are gross sometimes.
The closest the two of them get to character development is their relationship is the friendship both of them make with Aoba Kuronuma.
Aoba is a first year student introduced in the second half of the story, he's basically a foil for their older brother Izaya. He's like an Izaya who's less of a villain because he's younger and capable of making friends. A lot of his positive character traits come out in his relationship with the twins, because while he's a selfish user of people he tends to be really selfless and protective when it comes to them.
This could have been a jumping board for having the twins have separate identities, because they are both friends with him, but Aoba has romantic feelings for Kurui. However, they do the twin incest thing again because the first time Kurui isses Aoba, Mairu is like "I have to kiss everyone my sister kisses" and then kisses him immediately afterwards and says it's an indirect kiss with Mairu.
There's a sequel to Durarara! called, Durarara! SH!. The trio shows up in that novel, but the original plan for that series was to make Aoba the main character with the Kurui and Mairu as the other parts of the main trio. However, that was scrapped in favor of three new characters which I thought was a pretty big waste of their potential.
A lot of the things I wanted to see in the Aoba / Kurui / Mairu trio, I put into Exponential Growth for the Junpei / Mimiko / Nanako dynamic. Basically the whole idea that after meeting Junpei, Mimiko and Nanako's relationship can't remain the same because it used to be their whole world was just the two of them but there's suddenly this third person their own age they both want to socialize with. Also, the two of them can't both date him so he forces them to actually act like individuals.
My trajectory with Nanako and Mimiko comes from what I wanted from Kurui and Mairu which is this deconstruction of the idea that they're the same person, by separating them and forcing them to learn to be their own people. Also, the sheer amount of distress it would cause a pair of twins this codependent to be forced to separate and live on their own. Because they're at that time in adolescence where they're going through some major changes in personality so the coping mechanism that worked for them as kids is starting to break down.
The other major inspiration for them is Maki and Mai. The basic premise is that they have the opposite relationship that Maki and Mai do, but it's just as unhealthy. Maki and Mai are permanently separated from their childhood closeness, because Maki always pushes Mai away. Maki needs to assert herself as an individual. However, this need is so strong that she doesn't think she can have any kind of relationship because she views it as a chain dragging her down.
Whereas, Mimiko and Nanako have been clinging to each other since childhood. They have the relationship that Mai basically WANTS to have with Maki. However, Maki thinks they're utterly pathetic because they can't survive on their own and are entirely dependent on each other. Which is Maki's unhealthy and toxic ideal of strength. At the same time, Mimiko and Nanako think that Maki just plain hates Mai. They can't imagine a sister ever completely ignoring another sister and pushing her out of her life because they value family more than anything else. As unhealthy as they are, at least Mimiko and Nanako make it clear they both love each other.
There's also another foiling point where they are both equally bad at communication with one another. Mimiko and Nanako claim they're the same person, and share the same thoughts on everything but Mimiko is constantly bullied by Nanako. Nanako's extremely bossy and domineering in the relationship. However, it's enabled by Mimiko who's been depending on Nanako too much over the years to make all the decisions for them. They also talk a lot but rarely talk about their true feelings with one another and when they start to it turns into an argument.
On the other hand, Maki and Mai could probably clear up a lot of tension between them with ONE HONEST CONVERSATION, but neither of them are willing to do that.
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The guild reaction to Durara
Everyone's just hanging out in the guild when yelling and crashing is heard.
Erza is about to go lecture Natsu and Gray but they are just as confused as everyone else.
Well almost everyone.
"No way..."
"Lucy?"
"I'd recognise those voices anywhere!" And without another word, she gets up and runs out the guild.
With the rest of team Natsu following her.
Where they find Shizou fighting Izaya.
As usual.
"I told you not to follow me you damn Flea!"
"Now Shizu-chan, is that anyway to speak to little ol me."
Both continued to fight and Lucy sighed, picking up a large stone from the ground with an ease that suprised hdf team.
... And threw it towards both men.
Izaya casually dodged it while Shizou punched it, reducing it to nothing.
Both looked at the direction it came from and smiled.
"Quite the aim Lulu, I'd expect nothing of my darling niece."
Shizou glared at him but couldn't help the smile on his face when Lucy ran up to them both.
"It's good to see you kid" He said, ruffling her hair fondly before reluctantly allowing Izaya to hug her.
"I'm so glad your here" she smiled.
"Oh I am too, your daddy here tried to get away from me but I couldn't pass up to opportunity to see my niece." Chuckled Izaya.
Shizuo glared but neither made a move.
Masaomi often joked the most dangerous person in Ikebukuro was Lucy.
Because Lucy was the only one that could stop these two from fighting.
Speaking of Masaomi... "Lucy! Hey!" He yelled, wandering over with Celty, Anri and Mikado.
"You came!" Yelled Lucy, ducking out of Izaya's embrace to greet them.
Getting a hug from Celty.
"Don't forget us Lulu" screamed Mairu, Kuriri giving a silent wave from her sisters side.
As Lucy went to hug them both she heard Natu's loud yell of "Lucy! Who are these people?!"
Lucy sighed, she had wanted to send time with her family but of course Natsu had followed her with the others.
Ah well, she would have to let them meet one day..
"Guys, this is Natsu, Gray and Erza. They are my guild mates and my friends."
Shizuo looked at the trio calculating before nodding once.
"Natsu, Gray, Erza this is my family." She said, gesturing to each in turn.
"My Uncle Izaya, and his sisters. My aunts Kurui and Mairu. My aunt Celty, my Uncle Shinra is somewhere probably. My friends Mikado, Masaomi and Anri. And my dad, Shizou."
Erza looked at her in confusion "I thought your family were the Heartfilia's."
Instantly, a chill is felt in the sir and the warm smiles of Lucy's family turn into rage and anger.
Even Izaya who's face doesn't change in the slightest, holds his knife ever so tightly.
"Not where it counts..." Says Lucy, looking down.
That the others understand well.
Anri takes her hand in silent comfort, Lucy smiles and takes them inside to show them around the guild.
Not too long in a brawl starts up in the guild as usual.
Butt a chair ends up hitting Shizou, who tears that person a new one.
Izaya starts mocking him and the two begin fighting once again.
Masaomi joins the fight while Anri and Mikado hide under a table... Until there both pulled into the fight and tag team with him.
Kuriri is defending Mairu and making people fall on pins and nails.
Celty is just watching them all sat by Lucy, both shaking their heads.
Despite the guild having magic, they are completely outmatched at end up getting their asses beat.
Watching Lucy's family in awe and fear as they take down the strongest and than fight amongst each other.
And nor fight like sparr.
No all fight like their fighting for their lives.
These people, they realise are dangerous.
"Guys"
Asks Lucy, looking up at them expectantly. No one should've been able to hear her over the noise.
And yet they all do, and all stop and take their seats beside her.
Not before a well timed Lucy kick destroys the chair that might've hitten her.
Just like her father.
But if their dangerous, how dangerous is Lucy?
#Lucy raised by Shizou#shizuo heiwajima#mairu orihara#kururi orihara#celty sturluson#izaya orihara#mikado ryuugamine#anri sonohara#masaomi kida#natsu dragneel#erza scarlet#gray fullbuster#Fairy tail#durarara
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OKAY VOCACOLLE SUMMER TOP 15 SONGS (my ranking) LETS GOO
1. Kannagi - Hiiragi Magnetite: the lyrics on this are going to keep me occupied for the longest time until i understand it better. the atmosphere of this song is just incredible, the addition of the bells in her hand in the song, the light chime-y parts of the the instrumental, the piano, the longer notes, u dont need to know the lyrics to know theres a sense of regret in here. theres enough in the chimes u can feel the inner reflection in this, & like other series songs it hits that standing at the end of world in the rain feeling. its paced so perfectly it doesnt even feel like 6 minutes. series wise i think thats not only a call back to kyuuyaku but like shoushitsu & kyuuyaku it shows off that loop theme, getting into whats going on building it up, theres a bit of calm and then it picks up again. lots of story telling & details in it to add to the narrative. haru fits it so perfectly & that's definitely by design. this song has already embedded itself in my heart
2. Stockholm Office - Crump: if kannagi wasnt posted this would take first place EASILY IMMEDIATELY. i cant say in words how much i loved this so instantly. the light whispery-ness of kafu & the spacey-ness of certain instruments and parts combined with the heavy groundedness of the rest of it is so so perfect. the poetic way the lyrics show off the state of things in this song without being super blunt about the complaints in it & the overall rhythm of it draws me in so so much. they really matched the mood of the instrumentals & the lyrics so perfectly. its not spacey enough for me to say true dissociation type feel but theres such a strong feeling of disconnection in this, that feeling of lying to urself to stick something out which im sure is entirely intended given the title. im about to become the number one promoter of this song its one of those found it at the perfect timing things for me.
3. Candy Drop - yurame: this has the usual yurame song feel. i can only describe it as sounding how carbonation in drinks feels. its trendy sounding but at the same time is all its own thing and authentic feeling. the lyrics are written in a way its like ah yeah i get that feeling. despite the lightness of the instrumental its good at getting that melancholic feel across & isnt jarring in the slightest. flower has that mix of rough & cute to suit this as well. very good song.
4. Quiet - szri: szri's usual quick & heavy pacing definitely building off what they did in anaphylaxis. even includes the smallest part of it & u know i love songs that connect to each other. gekiyaku & kafu are such a good combination too especially how they pull it off. not a very light song in terms of content but fun nonetheless & isnt that what vocaloids about.
5. Euthanasia - Dopam!ne: a lighter/simpler song in terms of instrumentals that he does. nice change & still very distinctly his style. definitely not a light song in terms of content the guy even put a content disclaimer at the end. still easy to listen to if u like his style tho. good song
6. Waste - mairu: this ones probably about as heavy as szri's quiet musically speaking though theres a few calmer sections. flower's roughness fits the topic well i think. another one where the mood of every part of the song just seems to align well. i dont have anything profound to say i just think its neat
7. OSINT - Sheeno Mirin: i love the atmosphere in sheeno mirin songs a lot & this one doesnt disappoint. interesting vocal combination choice not that they overlap in any part & they work well with what they were going for. theres something brain scratching (in a good way) about the instrumental, a full sound thats got a weight to it but isnt too much. its really good idk what else to say
8. groom groove - yowanecity: i feel like its been forever since ive seen anything from yowanecity i really should follow them anyway i got really excited to see they posted & this didn't disappoint. its got that bounciness i expect from their songs. fun & smooth sounding. makes u want to dance. definitely worth your time.
9. Capsule - Fuyuu: cat rime & sekai thats so fun i love that and then the gachpon theme on top of it so fun. the sound is not what you'd expect from that description tho. it has a darker feel to it almost grungy i want to say but definitely not off putting. as part of the rime lover nation i love this song. this is going to end up stuck in my head all the time just like crow crow does. very good & both sekai & rime sound like they belong in this song 👍
10. Gambit - Yunosuke: another trendy, almost bubbly sounding song from yunosuke. pretty atmosphere to it. love the whistles & traditional sound instruments mixed in with the otherwise modern electric type sound its got going on. this would be fun to sing if i take the time to learn the lyrics. super good very worth your time
11. Rain - Gomennasai ga ienakute: the usual simple sounding style they have, deceivingly simple sounding bc its very clearly not. the tension building part right before the 3 min mark hits me in particular. very cool rin high notes at the end. very nice melancholic mood to it. maybe i should rank this higher its growing on me the more i listen to it. their lyric sense is very good. compels me. definitely give this a listen.
12. Static Love - Hagino: kafu rap nation rise up. its got that chiptune sound at first that gradually gives into a more modern edm sound. a good mix of cute, cool, and fun sounding. underrated the mixing & execution of this is too good to only have a few hundred views & yet here we are. worth your time
13. Prototype - Aira: THIS SONG GOES SO HARD!! coko chisei is such a good combo too. interesting theme going on here but the melody & such is just very good. the lalala parts make it seem a little lighter than it actually is. love the slightly wavering slightly squeaky sound on both vocals. lends a certain charm to this song.
14. Lewder Liar - Zensen: another great electro swing song from zensen. very fun fresh sounding instrumentals & flower's in no way out of place here. good mix. kind of an interesting theme going on here what with the demon stuff etc.
15. Death Game - Uron Riyu: this one is so fun to me. kafu running a death game. posting this as a vocacolle song feels like its framing vocacolle itself as a death game between songs & thats such an interesting way to look at it. kinda fun. the composition on its fun in its own way too. ik it's supposed to be dark but its just a fun song to me.
#this was getting long so its only 15 sorry. i have a lot more in playlists but yeah#fuck it ill tag it why not#vocaloid
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my mairu ocs???
Hey so im gonna be joining the mairu oc festival!!
First up is... Wendi Lastname!
she looks a little tall here but she is quite smol.
she is a bit of a gremlin. actually, a lot. her bloodline ability, “Gremlin”, let’s her turn into a chibi extremely angry version of herself which is also quite op, just even smaller than normal.
she keeps a lot of stuff in her hair, and there are rumors that it is actually a portal to a pocket dimension or something.
wendi hangs with clara a bit! since they are both gremlins. they exchange the gremlin ways with each other.
her place is in a swamp, and she has a lot of swampy stuff growing on her shoulders and some snails and slugs too! charming
she is in an Arts and Crafts Battler!
speaking of which...
claes is its president! he is a nice 3rd year who is considered an art genius. his art is abstract and haunting.
...although, actually, he just really sucks at drawing. he puts some colors down, tries really hard to draw a human, but fails miserably. still, others consider that a flight of his genius artistic soul. he is a little afraid to be exposed as a fraud and tries to uphold this image. wendi, however, doesn’t care - she thinks his art looks neat even if it doesn’t actually contain any deep ideas or even that good in execution. so she is the only one who knows that he is a fraud!
he really enjoys drawing, though, and doesn’t give up his dream of becoming a great artist one day.
he is quite feminine looking and is often confused for a woman - not that he minds that
his bloodline ability is ‘World Canvas” which lets him turn anything into a stretch of bleach white surface. How much of it he can create depends on his training and mana
claes’s familiar is a camel-like creature which is quite gentle and doesn’t really enjoy fighting.
His current rank is Daleth (4)
Join in the OC festival! Find more with the #mairufc tag
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Four sister characters, that make you wish you had one, or at least a different one.
Sisters. A word that comes with so much meaning, but can also be warped tremendously. I have sisters, two in fact; but I hate dislike them unfortunately. So I’ve wished that I could have a sister who I could actually get along with. So I’ve decided to expand upon a few of my beloved sister characters of anime.
Izumi Sagiri
(Eromanga-Sensei)
Sagiri is the cutest thing in the whole world. She’s shown as a small girl, with silver pigtails, and a very adorable habit of wearing oversized clothing. She gives off an innocent appeal, but is a master at the art of erotic manga.
Now, I’m kind of a recluse myself, so I totally understand the never wanting to leave the house. So for me, if I had a sister who was reclusive due to trauma, I’d probably have an overwhelming desire to protect them.
I’m not going deeper into her and her brothers relationship details further because there would be a line I’d have to cross, and no thanks. In any case though, having a cute tsundere sister who gets embarrassed like Sagiri, could definitely be fun to have.
Nezuko Kamado
(Demon Slayer)
I don’t think there’s been a sister character in a while, that people have wholeheartedly embraced like they have with Nezuko. (Although off the record, I have the memory of a snail). The whole show is basically about Nezuko and Tanjiro, and their love for each other as siblings.
Despite Nezuko having been changed into a demon, her overwhelming love for her brother, her only family left, she’s managed to basically defy logic and last as a demon without consuming any blood.
Being this dedicated to her family, who wouldn’t want a younger sister with such a strong desire to protect you?
Miyuki Shiba
(The Irregular at Magic High)
Miyuki is the most adorable quick tempered little sister. I kind of have a love for the admiring little sister trope. What can I say, I love a good doting older brother complex *shrugs*
Anyways, Miyuki is powerful because of her brother. As she says in the beginning: “Even my life was given to me by my brother.” That sort of fierce loyalty is rare in my opinion.
The Orihara Sisters; Mairu and Kururi
(Durarara!!)
Their brother is a dick. They’ve survived with each other and became reliant to a point of it making them an unstoppable unit. If you have no interest from your little sisters, you probably don’t deserve them. Otherwise, who could resist such a polarity of sisters? Double sisters means double the cuteness!
And, I’ll throw this in as a wild card, the queen of the imouto genre herself:
Kirino Kosaka
(Oreimo)
Since there’s pretty much a big slap in the face of what this anime is, I fear not to speak upon it. Kosaka is definitely the “perfect” little sister. She’s basically the forerunner of the stereotypical little sister: only having her older sibling in her eyes, despite his flaws; while also tormenting him in a more personal way. Kosaka checks all those boxes, being wrapped up in a tsundere labeled box.
Thanks for reading!
~ The Holy Villainess
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Pokemon Scarlet name list
Just making a list cause it's getting harder and harder to name these pokemon when there are so many and I try not to do duplicates 😅
For the name of the trainer, since I'm going with Scarlet, I did a lot of digging to find an ancient name for the trainer. In my digging I found an ancient mythology that took place in the Iberian peninsula called Basque, and in the mythology are Mairuak, which are giants who built megalithic tombs and stone circles as types of monuments. The singular is Mairu, and I liked the term as a name for my female trainer.
As for Koraidon, I found a Basque diety named Sugaar, who is a god of storms and thunder that's usually depicted as a dragon or serpent.
Speaking of Sugaar, the wife of Sugaar is a goddess named Mari, which I would have considered as a name for my trainer, but I named my trainer Marie in Pokemon Sword and it sounded too similar.
I always go fire type, so I'm going with Fuecoco as my starter. When it comes to his nickname, I have considered Coco and Habanero. I'll decide on a name when I see the final form.
For Smoliv I've thought of Pimento, and for Lachonk I thought of Chonky. Fidough has so many name options, such as Funnelcakes and Doughboy. As for Paldean Wooper, I'm trying to find a good name to go with the original Quagsire, which is Quagmire, and I'm leaning towards Moors as the name censor program won't allow Morass. 🤣 I haven't thought of names for the remaining revealed pokemon yet, but I might when we get closer to the full reveal
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Momentary Peace chapter 45 teaser
Izaya is unsure. He isn’t used to this new part of himself. He used to be the self proclaimed king of the underground, but he felt blind now, wool pulled over his eyes, as plots were carried forth without his planning or approval.
If the world was really falling apart, what did that mean for all of them? He remembers watching Ikebukuro burn from the gang wars he himself organized, laughed as the gangsters and street thugs lost their minds in the chaos.
Now, it would appear that things really were ending. Maybe in fire, maybe in flood. Celty had said she thought the end was upon them, and maybe she wasn’t simply speaking in hyperbole.
Mairu breaks him out of his reverie, by gesturing into the distance.
“Is that one of those things, only I can see? Because of my illness?”
Izaya swallows heavily. So here it begins. He would love to blame what he sees on Mairu’s mental health. He doesn’t want to scare her with truth.
He’s often accused beings like Ruri and Celty of being monstrous, but he suspects now that he’s about to be blown out of the water with the creatures Jacob summoned upon opening Pandora’s box.
“No.” He tells Mairu regretfully,” I can see it too.”
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ueueuuaueushshd…. (crying sounds) back in the inbox i go….
WELCOME HOME :D t h i s i s w h e r e y o u b e l o n g
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Izayaaa? It's Mairu. Did do you know that mom and dad got in contact with us, but didn't say anything about you? Like they forgot all about you! I guess that just proves how unwanted you are.
For those with familial issues, send my muse anons about their family.
"That'd be convenient! But our parents like to pretend they're good parents a bit too much. If that were true, it still wouldn't speak all that well to you. Either way, they're not around for it to actually matter"
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Telescope Now Chapter 6
((click here to read on ao3!!))
After the swirl of colors dissolves into nothingness, and Izaya can't tell up from down anymore, the first thing he's truly aware of is a bright, all encompassing light. He stares at it through blurry eyes, his lips turned down as he blinks and tries to make sense of it. His fingers twitch, and he looks down at his feet as best as he can, but he can't lift his head very much.
The second thing Izaya notices is that he's not alone.
“Iza-nii!”
He glances to his right and sees Mairu there, her eyes wide. Kururi is on the left, a soft smile on her face. Both of them are crying, and both of them are holding his hands.
“Am...” Izaya croaks. He clears his throat, swallows. “Am I dead?”
“Almost, you dumbass!” Mairu says. She takes the liberty of sitting on Izaya's bed. “You got hit by a truck! We didn't see it, but a lot of people did! They said you flew, and they said there was blood everywhere—“
“You died. Then you came back,” Kururi says, her gentle voice somehow cutting through Mairu's passionate spiel.
“Yeah, I was getting to that! A civilian gave you CPR on the scene, and then you got to the hospital and died! But they brought you back. You've been asleep so long.”
“Coma,” Kururi adds.
“How long?” Izaya asks. His entire body is stiff. He doesn't feel much like himself, but he imagines it might take a while to feel normal again.
“A month! A whole month!” Mairu says. She leans on Izaya and peers up at him. “We didn't call Mom and Dad. Your will said not to unless you died.”
“Oh, good. I don't want to deal with them,” Izaya says. He grimaces. “My throat hurts.”
“Water,” Kururi says, holding up a glass with a straw in it. She holds it still while he drinks.
“You had a tube in your throat. They said it'd be sore when you woke up.” Mairu nuzzles her face into his chest.
“Wow... Who knew you two actually liked me?” he jokes.
“Shut up! Fuck you! We just wanna be there to watch it happen when you die!” Mairu lifts her head and glares at him, her eyes watery. “You gotta pick something way cooler than getting hit by a truck. That’s way too easy!”
“Your crying face is so ugly,” Izaya says, and then he smiles when she starts crying even harder.
“Oh, yeah? So's yours! Yours is uglier!” Mairu swats him, and it's only then Izaya realizes he's crying, too.
“Must be a family trait.” Izaya groans at how heavy his body feels. “I'm still tired.”
“You can sleep again, if you want. But the doctor might want to check you first. Do you remember anything?” Mairu asks.
“A lot of things.” Izaya looks between her and Kururi. “You were dead, weren't you?”
“Huh?” Mairu frowns. “Us?”
“Yeah. You were dead, but then you weren't. We had a funeral.” Izaya struggles to remember details of it, closes his eyes when they become too heavy to deal with. “You haunted me... Was Shizu-chan here?”
“He was there when you got hit... Hey. Iza-nii?”
“Mm?”
He doesn't hear her reply before he falls unconscious once more.
***
Time passes. The first few days, Izaya isn't able to stay awake for long periods of time. Despite being out of it for a month, he feels his sleep wasn't restful, and he slips in and out of consciousness. Sometimes he wakes to the twins at his side, sometimes to the doctor, a stern looking woman with her hair swept in a tight bun. Sometimes there are nurses. Sometimes he's alone.
His injuries were extensive, a long list of things Izaya tunes out because it reminds him too much of Shinra's rambling. The doctor insists he stays a few days for observation, so he spends most of his time bored, but it's better with the twins around. They keep him company when they're not in school, and they don't leave until the hospital staff makes them. Izaya doesn't remember ever spending this much time with them, even when they lived together, and despite his eagerness to leave, he enjoys it. He missed them, he realizes, and he didn't even know how much until he almost died.
One day before he's discharged, he finds himself engrossed in playing Go Fish with them. They're all cheaters, so it erupts into a lot of arguing, and the twins keep ganging up on him, swapping their cards like they think he can't see. Sometimes he allows it, but for the most part, they fight until suddenly hours have gone by.
“Do you have any queens?” Mairu asks during their last game. Visiting hours are almost over, but they asked the nurse if they could finish their current game before the twins leave.
“Go fish,” Izaya says, and she pouts at him.
“Are you lying?”
“If I was, why would I tell you I was?” Izaya asks. Her eyes narrow suspiciously before she draws from the deck.
“Kururi, do you have any queens?” Izaya asks, and Mairu throws her cards at him.
“ Cheater! You're a cheater, Iza-nii!”
“Oh, you said queens. I'm sorry, I thought you said something else,” Izaya says, holding her off while she tries to jump on him. Kururi watches with an indulgent expression, and she quietly gathers all the cards back together.
“So you're going home tomorrow?” Mairu asks after she's worn herself out.
“Yes, and it's about time. I hate hospitals. It's the whole reason I have my own doctor,” Izaya says. Shinra hasn't visited, but Izaya isn't surprised. The only one to see him aside from the twins was Namie, who only did so after he blew up her phone and threatened to dock her pay.
“Okay, well we're coming over tomorrow night! And we'll watch movies. You have all the subscription services, anyway. Make sure you buy snacks!” Mairu smiles excitedly, and Izaya scoffs.
“You both have access to all my subscription accounts. You're like parasites. I'll make sure to buy lots of vegetables for you to snack on.”
“No! You better buy good snacks! I mean it!” Mairu raises her fists, and for a brief second, the twins look younger, the way they did when they'd cling to his legs and torture him for hours on end. He blinks and they're back to normal, young women who still torture him for hours on end, though they grew out of clinging to him long ago.
“Okay, okay. Text me what you want,” Izaya relents, leaning back into his bed. Both of them watch him thoughtfully.
“You're being much less of an asshole than normal,” Mairu says. “Is it 'cause we died in your coma dream?”
That's what the twins have taken to calling it, “Izaya's coma dream.” He recounted as much of it as he could to them, excluding the parts about Shizuo for obvious reasons, as well as omitting just how much he missed them. As it turns out, there were some accuracies to the things he dreamed, overlap between the dream and reality. Some of the things he experienced really was because the twins were speaking to him, usually while poking and prodding at him, demanding he wake up. His binder of old poems sits on a little bedside table, brought by Mairu, who read a few of them out loud and threatened to post them online if he didn't wake. Next to the binder are two vases of flowers, one sent by Simon, a coupon for sushi pushed into the stems, and the other sent by Shiki, a brief wish of wellness written on the card that came with it, though Izaya is certain it was for the twins' sake rather than his own. Izaya can recall the brief recognition of a floral scent in his dream.
The parts of his dream that didn't happen were his own torturous thoughts, some of them guilt-related, while others were things he's longed for but would never admit, even to himself. As for Shizuo, Izaya has no idea if Shizuo was ever really there or not. The twins say they don't know, but they think so, as they've seen him around outside the hospital. The nurses say they haven't seen anyone else when Izaya asks, though a few of them have conspiratory smiles he doesn't quite trust.
“Maybe my head injury changed my personality a bit,” Izaya suggests. “Turns out you don't annoy me as much as you normally do, but I reserve the right to change my mind on that.”
“Oh, blah blah. We'll see you tomorrow!” Mairu chirps, and she tackles him in a hug. Kururi joins a moment later, though her embrace is much gentler. They wave at him one more time before leaving him alone. He sighs and picks up his phone, planning to work a little to occupy himself, but someone else peeks into his room.
“Izaya-kun!” Shinra waltzes in, a ditzy smile on his face. “So, you cheated death again, huh? You really are like a cockroach!”
“How wonderful of you to say. Took your time in visiting, didn't you?” Izaya sets his phone down and smirks at Shinra, who rolls his eyes.
“What fun is there in visiting someone in a coma! You wouldn't have known I was here.”
“I've been out of the coma for a few days now. Besides, as it turns out, I was aware of a few things.”
“Really?” A spark of interest lights in Shinra's eyes.
“It was like a fever dream. Everything was just...jumbled. It was a strange experience, like my normal life mixed with nightmares and bits and pieces that didn't add up. I've already forgotten a lot of the details.”
“ Fascinating! Well, you're not the first to say such things. Some people can wake up speaking an entirely new language, you know? Some people live their lives as normal before finding themselves waking in the hospital.” Shinra takes a seat beside Izaya and pats his arm. “What parts do you remember about your dream?”
“The twins were dead,” Izaya says, looking down at Shinra's hand on his arm. “I couldn't really figure out how they died, and I kept seeing and hearing them even after they were supposed to be gone. It was like the more they haunted me, the more I realized they were actually alive, but no one believed me, and the more things I couldn't make sense of, the more I thought I was crazy.”
“Well, you are crazy, but not because of that. Sounds like some part of your brain knew you had experienced a trauma. It's not surprising you convinced yourself of a death in the family.”
“I thought of the truck a few times, too. Hell, maybe I was trying to tell myself they were the ones who got hit. Who knows?” Izaya sighs. “You were in my dream as well.. Possibly most suspicious of all was you actually being a decent friend for once.”
“What! I'm the best person you know!” Shinra wails.
“That's not saying much, but no, you're still one of the worst.”
“I won't take that personally because of who's saying it. Like you're a good judge of character.” Shinra crosses his arms. “Well. I'm glad you woke up, anyway. As much as you deserve horrible things, you're still my friend. It'd suck if I was suddenly down to one.”
“You're too kind, Shinra.”
“Shizuo-kun has been really...ah. He'd kill me if he knew I was talking about him to you!” Shinra shivers and makes a face. “But it's not like you'll be going out of your way to see him since you've got a broken leg. Not unless you want to go back into a coma.”
“I can't say I enjoyed it all that much,” Izaya says, though he certainly enjoyed certain aspects of it.
“He was pretty distraught. He said he was chasing you when it happened, said he tried to grab you, but it was too late. He hung around until the ambulance got there. I think he blames himself for it,” Shinra says.
“Well, I've gotten him hit twice now. I suppose he owed me one,” Izaya replies, and Shinra clicks his tongue.
“He owes you more than that! But Shizuo-kun is a good person. I'm sure he'll be happy to know you're going to be fine, at least until he kills you himself.”
Izaya keeps his face as impassive as possible, though Shinra has always been the one to see through it. They watch each other for a moment, lapsing into an easy silence. They've always coexisted well together, well enough that Izaya knew the dream Shinra was off, even if he couldn't place why.
“I don't suppose you want to play a quick game of poker, do you?” Izaya asks.
Shinra laughs. “Not with you! You're a cheater. Anyway, I only had a few minutes to drop by. I better be going now.” He stands, puts his hands in his pockets while he hovers.
“I'm going home tomorrow. I guess I'm stuck making dinner for the twins, so you can come mooch off me, if you want.” Izaya swallows, already knows what Shinra will say.
“Nah, I've got plans with Celty. We've gotten even closer and more in love in the month you've been asleep! I'll regale you sometime, since I know my true love gives you inspiration in your life!” Shinra grins, and then he pauses, tilts his head as he scrutinizes Izaya. “What's that look for?”
“Nothing. You're right, you're busy. I'm just still a little loopy,” Izaya says, and Shinra hums thoughtfully.
“Well, get some rest. Allow yourself to heal before you get back to your usual vile ways, and call me if you need! I don't know how often I'll answer, since it depends on what Celty and I are up to, but I'll get back to you.” Shinra smiles once again, and as soon as he came, he's gone.
Izaya shakes his head before he falls back in bed, laughter bubbling up before he can help it. He laughs and laughs, holds his sides when it starts to hurt, but he keeps laughing anyway.
“Vacation's over,” he says to himself, closing his eyes when they start to burn. He rolls to his side and keeps laughing, and when a nurse wanders in to ask if he's alright, he can't quite figure out how to answer.
***
Once he's back home, he begins to feel more like himself. Namie returns with her usual sour attitude, and he's taken by surprise when she volunteers to cook dinner. Usually, he has to torment her, and even then she'll sometimes still mess up the food she makes, usually by making it too sweet or too spicy. He watches her suspiciously as she bustles around, her back to him.
“Am I still in a coma?” he asks, pushing himself away from the desk so he can follow her around in his office chair. She scowls at him.
“I've been off a month, so I've had enough downtime. Besides, I expect overtime for this.”
“Right, that's fine. Hey, make extra, okay? My sisters are coming.” Izaya scoots back to his desk and starts typing, not realizing at first that Namie is staring. “What?” he asks when he finally notices her eyes boring into him.
“I thought you didn't like them?” Namie asks. She puts her hand on her hip. “All you ever talk about is how much they annoy you.”
“Yeah, well, they do annoy me, but they were pretty distraught by all this. I'll let them hang around until they remember they can't stand me.”
“Shouldn't take too long, then.”
“You can stay for dinner too, if you want. Mairu thinks you're pretty since she doesn't know any better.” Izaya leers at Namie, who looks very much like she swallowed a lemon.
“No thanks. Your sisters are almost as creepy as you,” she says.
“Ah. Well, the invitation is still extended.”
“Look at you, all hospitable. Never would've pegged you as the generous type.” She turns her back to him, and his grin stretches wider.
“As if you'd peg anyone other than dear Seiji-kun.”
She drops the spoon she's holding and stomps towards him, and since he can't run, he winds up scooting around in his chair, cackling as she slaps at him and chases after him, yelling about what a horrible pervert he is.
***
A month later, Izaya is meeting with Shiki about a job. Shiki has opted to come to him, since Izaya is still recovering, and Shiki can be surprisingly accommodating when he wants to be. Shiki arrives with two men who stand on either side of Izaya's door, and Shiki enters the apartment, bowing to Namie when she lets him in. He raises a hand when Izaya starts to stand.
“No need. You're in a cast, after all.”
“Thank you, Shiki-san,” Izaya says, leaning back into the couch.
“You look well.” Shiki walks to a cushy chair he favors during his visits. Izaya had Namie help him move it in front of the couch just for this meeting. “I hope your injuries aren't still bothering you?”
“Ah, just the leg. It broke in a couple of places, so the cast is on for at least another month.”
Namie returns then, places a cup of tea on the coffee table for Shiki, bowing before she goes back to the desk.
“My lovely secretary really makes this all so much easier. I'm truly blessed,” Izaya quips, and when she cuts her eyes at him, he winks.
“I hope she's being paid extra,” Shiki says, picking up his tea. He blows on it, watches Izaya with an amused expression.
“Oh, of course. She insists.” Izaya crosses his good leg over the cast. The worst part of it all is the itching . He can't reach inside the cast, and he's had an itch for the better part of the day.
“I'm glad you're doing well. We have other sources, but I admit you're one of the more pleasant to interact with,” Shiki drawls.
“What a compliment! Comparing me to the scum of the city is cruel, Shiki-san!” Izaya laughs. “I wanted to thank you for the flowers. I know you and Akabayashi-san checked in with my sisters while I was out. They kept the flowers you sent, dried them and made them into bookmarks. I'm glad to know they weren't alone.”
“Your sisters have quite a few friends, all seemingly older than they are,” Shiki says. “I often spot them around the city traversing with the wrong sort of crowd.”
“Family trait,” Izaya responds with a smile. “There are too many things to get involved with in the city, after all. At least they have people looking out for them.”
“It's heartening to hear you care for them. Usually you're so detached, Izaya-san.”
“You think so? We're just not an emotional family. Rest assured, I watch out for them in my own way. I keep them from kidnapping famous actors, at any rate.” Izaya reaches beside him, places a folder on the table for Shiki. Izaya spends most of his time online, but there's something so charming about paper files. He's glad to know Shiki feels the same.
“You're already done?” Shiki asks, leaning forward to take the folder. He looks impressed. “You've hit the ground running, Izaya-san. Ah...in a manner of speaking.”
“Hit the ground limping, at the very least.”
“Thank you. Akabayashi-san will be happy to put some hoodlums in their place. He's been getting antsy. It's been quiet without you around.”
“Coincidence, I'm sure! I'm happy to hear the city was quiet while I was in the hospital. I'd hate to miss too much excitement.” Izaya falls silent as Shiki reads over the papers. The TV is on, but it's muted. A home improvement show is playing.
“Very good, Izaya-san,” Shiki says, standing. “Sorry I can't stay and finish the tea, but I have work to do.”
“No apologies necessary. I hope you'll forgive me for not walking you out?” Izaya says, and Shiki arches a brow at him.
“I've excused you for more, haven't I? Get well soon, Izaya-san.”
Shiki leaves with the men, and Izaya uncrosses his legs, flops dramatically into the cushions.
“God, how pompous. Being in a room full of men in the middle of a 'Mine's Bigger Than Yours' contest is the worst,” Namie drawls from the desk.
“Oh no worries, Namie! Yours was definitely the biggest in the room!” Izaya looks up at the ceiling as he puts his arms behind his head. “We should order lunch.”
“You're not going to insist I cook for you today?” Namie asks.
“I'm craving ootoro! I haven't had it in so long. Doesn't Russia Sushi sound good?”
“I'll order it,” Namie says. “Can't risk you changing your mind, after all. I'd rather not have to make anything.”
“You can have Simon deliver it. We both have too much work to do to leave the office. As it turns out, I have a coupon!”
Simon arrives about an hour later with his usual booming voice and blinding smile. He waltzes inside and places his giant hand on Izaya’s shoulder.
“Izaya! Good to see you. I heard you lost fight to truck!”
“Oh, yes, it was a close one. Thanks for the flowers,” Izaya replies.
“Flowers good for health, but sushi better. I'm glad you used coupon!” Simon hands the bag to Izaya and waves joyfully at Namie, who waves back before going into the kitchen to grab drinks.
“Would you like anything before you're off, Simon? I have some bottled tea,” Izaya says.
“No, no. It busy day. I best get back.” Simon looks closely at Izaya and gives him a smile. The next time he speaks, it's in Russian. “I don't guess this near death experience changed you much?”
“ Of course not. A tiger never changes his stripes, does he?” Izaya says, also in Russian.
“ No, he doesn't. I hope you return to the city soon, Izaya. It misses you. But I also hope you don't mess it up too much. I love the city.”
“ As do I, Simon.”
Namie returns and hands Izaya a glass of iced tea. She sits in the chair Shiki vacated and opens the bag, passing Izaya his food before opening her own container. She frowns.
“We didn't order all of this,” she says.
“On house for pretty lady and Izaya!” Simon says, and then he bows to her. “Get well gift.”
“Thank you,” Izaya says, happy with all the extra sushi. He pauses. “No specials, right?”
“No. We know you picky.” Simon offers one last smile before he makes his way out. He stops when he reaches the door, turns to look at Izaya over his shoulder. “Shizuo was there today. He asked about you.”
“Did he?” Izaya asks, keeping his face neutral. That was definitely the kind of thing Simon could have said in Russian, so he knows there's a reason Simon said it where Namie could understand.
“He troubled by what happened. You should call him, make amends. You two have been fighting so long.”
“Shizu-chan knows where to find me. He also has my number. Trust me when I say I have no desire to see or speak to him, especially with my leg the way it is,” Izaya says, and then he eats a piece of ootoro, keeping his back to Simon.
“I see,” Simon says. “Tigers are not cowards, Izaya.”
He leaves before Izaya can respond.
“What was that about? Even Simon knows about your monster crush? How pathetic are you?” Namie asks. She never looks as happy as she does while being antagonistic. Izaya likes that about her.
“It's not exactly a secret Shizu-chan hates me. Apparently we're a bit of an urban legend around here.” He withholds a comment about Seiji, knowing they'll only bicker back and forth. Mealtimes are meant to be enjoyable, and Izaya doesn't want either of their bitterness to taint the food.
The door bursts open suddenly, halting the conversation.. Namie jumps, almost dropping her takeout, but Izaya has gotten used to Mairu's grandiose entrances by now. She gallops inside, Kururi trailing behind her, and she pounces on Izaya from behind, leaping over the back of the couch.
“I-za-nii!” she sing-songs, and then she steals a piece of his sushi. “We're staying the night tonight! We didn't ask first, since you might've made some excuse for us not to.”
“Great,” Izaya says. Kururi rounds the couch to come sit beside him, and he hands her the takeout bag.
“Oh, guess who we saw today!” Mairu chirps, rearranging herself to sit on Izaya's other side. Her legs kick out, shaking the whole couch. “Shizuo-san! He was working with that guy and that pretty girl! He asked us about you, and I told him if he wanted to know, he should see you himself, and you know what?! He didn't get mad! Isn't that amazing?!” She bounces in place.
“Mairu,” Kururi says calmly, and Mairu stops moving as if she's been shocked, looks wary of Kururi, probably due to the spray bottle Kururi keeps for these occasions.
“Since when did everyone decide to mention that moron to me so cavalierly? I thought we all knew not to mention us to each other,” Izaya says, and Namie rolls her eyes while the twins both sigh in unison.
“Iza-nii, how are you this stupid?” Mairu asks, and Izaya glowers at her.
“All men are stupid,” Namie replies.
“Oh yeah? Even your darling brother?” Izaya asks her, and rather than react to it the way he hoped she would, she just shrugs slightly.
“Sure. He's with that bimbo, after all.”
***
By the time Izaya gets the cast removed, he's so pent up with extra energy that his skin feels as if it's vibrating.
He hasn't stayed locked inside the entire time by any means, but he's had to be careful and on guard, usually accompanied by Namie or Shiki's men, who generously drive him to and from headquarters when Shiki is too busy to meet at Izaya's apartment. Izaya hasn't been able to go off by himself the way he likes, and he definitely hasn't done any work outside of his office, not wanting to risk being injured again while he's been on the mend. If there's anything Izaya hates about humans, it's their limitations, and that goes double for his own.
He opts to have Shinra remove the cast rather than go anywhere else. Shinra's chatter is obnoxious, but he's more convenient to deal with the majority of the time. He's cheerful as he works, prattling on and on about Celty, speaking so fast that Izaya can hardly decipher any of it, not that he's trying very hard to.
“There we go! All finished!” Shinra says happily when the cast is fully off.
“ Finally,” Izaya groans, reaching down to scratch at his skin. “It's been driving me insane.”
“So what now?” Shinra asks. “You're all healed. It's like the accident never happened.”
“I wouldn't say that. I certainly remember it well.”
“What about the dream you had? Do you still remember it?”
“Parts of it,” Izaya says. “Some of it's fuzzy, but I remember highlights.”
“You got off easy, but I'm sure you know that. Fate's always been kinder to you than you deserve!” Shinra stands and stretches before he gathers his things. “You should talk to Shizuo-kun, by the way. He's been moping around lately, and it's intruding on my time with Celty!”
“ Why does everyone insist I speak to that imbecile?” Izaya asks with a grimace.
“Because you want to, and because he wants you to.” Shinra grins and closes his briefcase. “Sometimes things really are that simple, Izaya-kun.”
***
It's business as usual after the cast comes off. Izaya leaves Namie to handle the paperwork and the computer files, and he roams around the city, happily resuming his usual activities. He's on his way to a cafe to grab some coffee when he sees a familiar van parked across the street, anime girl on the door shining as if she was just washed. Izaya chuckles to himself and makes his way over, lifting his hand in greeting when the van's occupants notice him.
“Izayan!” Kawisawa launches out the door and is in front of Izaya before he can so much as blink. You're all better! Did your brain get scrambled in the accident? Have you seen the error of your ways?”
“Rest assured, if anything, I'm worse now,” Izaya says, and she grins at him.
“You look well, Izaya,” Kadota says.
“Aw, Dota-chin, don't flirt with me in public! I'm shy, you know?” Izaya asks, batting his lashes playfully. Kadota rolls his eyes, clearly trying to hide a smile.
“Tell me, Izayan, is it true Shizu-Shizu was there when you got hit?” Kawisawa asks, yanking on Izaya's arm. He frowns at her, worried she'll rip his coat sleeve. “Did he carry you to safety? Did he give you mouth to mouth?! I need to know! Paint the picture for me! So there you are, injured, gasping for air, and in your line of sight, before it goes all dark, you see him, the man of your dreams, crying and gripped with fear at the very thought of losing you—!”
“Kawisawa-chan, you've got quite an imagination,” Izaya says, tugging his arm free from her. “I can't tell you what happened, unfortunately. I was a little busy trying not to die.”
“If you don't know, that means I could be right!” she shouts, practically foaming at the mouth. A hand reaches out of the van and grabs the back of her collar, tugging her inside.
“She's been like this since it happened,” Yumasaki says, poking his head out and giving Izaya a little wave. “She's asked Shizuo too, but he won't answer her at all, so she's just been going wild with the theories. She wrote a story where Shizuo was on a horse when he saved you.”
“A horse?” Izaya asks.
“It's not impossible! Celty-san has a horse, and they’re friends!” Kawisawa shrieks, and then the van shakes as she grapples with Yamasaki. Kadota sighs before he hops out of the van and slides the door closed on them.
“So you're doing better?” he asks.
“Can't complain. Should I take it personally that you didn't visit me?”
“They were only allowing family when I tried. We spent some time with your sisters, though. Made sure they were eating and gave them rides home when visiting hours were over. They were pretty messed up over the whole thing.”
“I'm glad they had some friends around. They're still being a little clingy, but I suppose that's understandable.”
Kadota grins and puts his hand on Izaya's shoulder. “Maybe the truck did scramble your brain, huh? You're being nice to your sisters. Never thought I'd see the day.”
Izaya shrugs. “They're not so bad as long as they don't get splashed with water or fed after midnight.”
Kadota laughs loudly, and Izaya smirks up at him.
“So what brings you here, Dota-chin? Did you need a caffeine fix, too?” Izaya asks.
“Nah, Togusa is in the store over there. Some kind of magazine article on Hijiribe Ruri. He's still obsessed with her. I'm sure he knows all there is to know, but he buys everything they release on her anyway.”
“How tragic for him she's taken,” Izaya says.
“He'll get over it. Hey— Do me a favor okay? Between us. Wait a while before you fuck with Shizuo again. He's working through some stuff,” Kadota says.
“I've got no desire to see him, believe me. It's more likely he'll spot me and attack all on his own.”
“I dunno, man. He's pretty messed up about what happened to you. Maybe you guys could use this as an opportunity to finally bury the hatchet. It's been peaceful lately.”
“The natural state of things isn't 'peaceful'. Something will happen whether I'm involved or not,” Izaya replies. “Besides, Shizu-chan will get over whatever he's working through, and he'll be the one to throw the first punch, just like always.”
Kadota makes a face. “I really, really don't want to prove Erika right here, so all I'm gonna say is that Shizuo isn't acting like someone who saw the person he hates most almost get killed. He's acting like he almost lost someone important to him. Maybe you guys should talk, at least. I'm not saying you’ll be all buddy-buddy, but it's worth a shot, right? I know you don't hate Shizuo as much as you claim to. You're actually pretty easy to read.”
“Am I?” Izaya asks. “Careful, Dota-chin, you're making a lot of assumptions.”
“Somehow, I think I can take you if I had to.” Kadota ruffles Izaya's hair, and Izaya huffs, shoves Kadota away, and tries to straighten his hair with his fingers. “I mean it, okay? Just talk to the guy. Shizuo is level-headed when he wants to be. Just don't piss him off and he’ll listen.”
“You're giving me an impossible task, you know?” Izaya mutters petulantly.
“Yeah, but you're smart. You'll figure it out.” Kadota smiles and crosses his arms before he chuckles softly. “You crazy kids.”
“Just kiss him when you see him!” Kawisawa shouts, and Izaya looks up to see her face pressed in the window of the front seat. “Words don't matter! It's about the passion!”
“Christ.” Kadota grumbles and shakes his head. “I'm really never gonna get a moment of peace if she's right about this.”
“As if you've ever been a huge fan of peace,” Izaya says. “Personally, I find it to be overrated.” He waves before he makes his way over to the cafe, and when he looks back at the van through the window, he sees Kadota and Yumasaki fighting to hold Kawisawa down, and when Togusa returns to the van, he takes one look at the scene before turning and walking away.
***
Funnily enough, Izaya sees Shizuo again at Sunshine 60.
Izaya is finishing up a meeting with a client, exiting the restaurant when he spots Shizuo walking past with Tom. He wonders if Shizuo is there for work, but it's more likely they're just hanging out. Tom and Shizuo are actually friends more than coworkers, and Izaya keeps in mind that Vorona might be lurking around too, as fixated on Shizuo as she is. Rather than approach as he's always done, Izaya stays still and waits for them to pass, and as soon as they're out of sight, Izaya finds himself taking the familiar path to the roof.
It's a clear night out, and it's freezing. Izaya huddles into his coat and stands near the edge, looking down at the specks of light below. So many people, all of them living their lives, and despite their numbers, Izaya finds he feels alone. Part of him wishes he bought a bottle of sake along, but it would've just been for the sake of nostalgia. Izaya still tries hard not to think of the dream, but like most things to do with Shizuo, Izaya finds it creeping into his mind often. He sighs loudly, watches his breath cloud in front of him.
“Why the hell am I mourning something that never even happened?” he mutters. The twins are alive, he's alive. In the end, that's all that really matters, right? Everything else is just remnants from a dream.
He tenses when the door opens behind him. He already knows who it has to be, but he's surprised all the same to see Shizuo there, hands in his pockets, a weary look on his face.
“Shizu-chan, what a surprise. Did you follow me?” Izaya feels the weight of his knives in his pockets, and they comfort him. This is the real Heiwajima Shizuo, one who hates Izaya and wants him dead, one who chased him into the path of an incoming truck, intentional or not. Izaya can't let his guard down.
“Haven't seen you in a while,” Shizuo says. He's not wearing his shades for once, Izaya notes. Shizuo's eyes are oddly earnest when they're not covered and aren’t full of rage. That's one detail Izaya got right in his dream, at least.
“Aren't you always telling me to stay out of the city? Maybe all it took was a truck ramming into me to make me listen. Really drove the threat home.” Izaya sits on the ledge, facing Shizuo, his back to the abyss below.
“Don't,” Shizuo growls. “Don't make it into a joke.”
“Why not? It's kind of funny, isn't it? Some part of you must think I deserved it. I certainly think I did.” Izaya tilts his head to the side, studying Shizuo. “What's eating you, Shizu-chan? Usually you would've launched at me by now. Look, I'm even on the edge of the building! I've made myself an easy target for you!”
“I said to fucking quit it!” Shizuo shouts. His voice echoes around them. “I didn't come here to fight with you, okay? For fuck's sake, flea, you almost died in front of me, so stop being an asshole for once in your life and listen to me, 'cause I have shit to say.”
Izaya mimes zipping his lips, and then he gestures for Shizuo to keep talking. Shizuo glowers at him, seeming to be on the edge of some kind of breakdown. It's fascinating, and Izaya feels the innate urge to keep pushing Shizuo towards that edge, eternally curious as he is to observe results.
“Well? Are you going to talk, or is the fact you're having thoughts at all making you short-circuit?”
“I hate you,” Shizuo says in response, and Izaya wonders if this is supposed to be profound in any way. “I really do, okay? I hate you so fucking much that it keeps me up at night. Every problem I've had, every time some fucker comes at me with a weapon, all I think about is you, and how you probably had something to do with it. You're a terrible fucking person, and I've spent years thinking of how I wanted to kill you, how much better my city would be without you in it.”
Izaya keeps his face impassive as Shizuo starts pacing. Clearly Shizuo is experiencing enough emotion for both of them, after all. It looks exhausting.
“I told myself at first that no matter what happened to you, whether you woke up or not, that I didn't care. I didn't want to care. It was what you deserved, and maybe you actually deserved worse, but goddammit, Izaya, I keep reliving that day over and over again, and all I can think of is how I wasn't fast enough to save you.” Shizuo stops pacing, turns and looks at Izaya, a helpless look in his eyes. The strongest man in Ikebukuro, helpless. What a thought.
“I see,” Izaya says, not really knowing how else to respond. “So you feel guilty.”
“'Guilty' doesn't seem strong enough,” Shizuo says, back to pacing. “I don't feel responsible, I don't feel like it was my fault, I just—“ He pauses, throws his hands in the air, and growls in frustration. “It felt like a waste, Izaya.”
“Because you wanted to kill me yourself?” Izaya prompts.
“No, because it was too fucking easy, too fast for that to be the end!” Shizuo snarls and exhales deeply before continuing. “You know, all that time I chased after you, and you were never scared. You came back over and over, and I never even thought about what I'd do if I actually caught you. It was just a goal, one of those things you tell yourself to keep you going, but I think... I think I was happy you kept coming back, in some weird, fucked up way. You were the only one who kept fighting with me no matter what. I hated it, but I think it was...a comfort, too. I got used to you coming back. I thought you always would.”
Izaya thinks of the Shizuo in his dream, the one who laughed and toasted his whiskey mockingly to Izaya. “You're the most stable thing in my life.”
“Part of me kept waiting for you to show up and say it was all a joke. I didn't... Fuck.” Shizuo groans, makes a violent gesture with his hands. “I didn't want to think about you actually being gone.”
“Tell me, Shizu-chan, did you come to see me in the hospital?” Izaya asks, and Shizuo looks up at him sharply, an oddly bashful expression on his face. “Would you believe me if I said I could feel you there?” Izaya remembers the comforting pressure of a hand in his, one too large to be either of his sisters'.
“Shinra said you dreamed...” Shizuo mutters. “Said you woke up spouting some shit about the twins being dead.”
“It was my life, but it wasn't. There were details that didn't add up, and the people around me were... wrong. Not necessarily better or worse, but not themselves. I found myself surrounded by others, and wouldn't you know it, that's when I realized it couldn't be real.” Izaya leans back a bit, crosses his legs in front of him. Shizuo looks on warily, as if prepared to leap forward in case Izaya leans back any further. “I was forced to take a good look at things, at various versions of my life, like hundreds of mirrors surrounding me. It was like being inside a telescope.” Izaya forces a smile. “Part of me didn't want to wake up.”
Shizuo sighs softly, and he steps forward, takes the liberty of sitting beside Izaya on the ledge. He reaches in his pocket and pulls out his cigarettes.
“So what now?” he asks.
“Well. I suppose this is the part where I tell you that your feelings are a normal trauma response to what you saw. I could've been anyone, Shizu-chan, and you would've felt just as guilty because you were there to see it happen,” Izaya says.
“Fuck that, it wasn't anyone. It was you.” Shizuo lights his cigarette and inhales deeply. “You were just so lifeless, folded all wrong like a ball of paper. I got your fucking blood on me.” His head tilts slightly towards Izaya, though he keeps staring forward. “It was you, flea.”
“Mm. So it was.”
“You're being weirdly understanding about all this. I kind of thought you were gonna throw a knife or something when you saw me,” Shizuo says, flicking some ashes away.
“I'm not ruling it out,” Izaya promises. He turns to Shizuo and smiles at Shizuo's perplexed little frown. “I suppose I'm just not surprised. To me, this isn't our first conversation about this.”
“Huh? What, was I in your dream or something?”
“You were. You were there more than anyone else, if you can believe it.”
Shizuo's face flushes, and he coughs slightly on his next exhale.
“You know,” Izaya begins, “I'm not sure exactly what it was I experienced. I can say it was a dream, but at the same time, it could've been a glimpse into another universe, another timeline. I saw so many things, some of them I can't remember clearly, but I remember you being there. It made me happy, Shizu-chan, and it was hard to know you wouldn't be there anymore when I woke up.”
Shizuo stiffens, his fingers clenching around the cigarette until it snaps. He curses when it burns him, and he throws it away with an angry little huff before he turns back to Izaya.
“I had dreams, too,” he says. “Nothing as weird as yours. Mostly just about us in high school, I guess since that's the most time we ever spent together. I kept wondering how different things might be if we ever tried to get along.”
“'What if' is a dangerous question, isn't it? Let's consider it progress that we're sitting here now.” Izaya smirks at Shizuo, who immediately narrows his eyes in suspicion. “Shizu-chan missed me.”
“I did not,” Shizuo says defensively, and then his eyes widen as if the thought only just now crossed his mind. “Or...I did? Fuck. I think maybe I did.”
“You don't know?” Izaya asks, and he can't help but laugh at the bewildered expression on Shizuo's face. It's been so long since he's laughed like this, without bitterness or malice. It really is just funny.
“Fuck you! Stop laughing!” Shizuo glowers, seeming to sink into himself when Izaya only laughs harder. “You're the worst. I hate you, I really do.”
“Then why did you miss me?” Izaya lilts, and Shizuo crosses his arms, looking pointedly anywhere but at Izaya.
“Maybe I'll still kill you. Shitty flea, you piss me off,” Shizuo mutters, mostly to himself. Izaya can hear his teeth grinding.
“Relax, would you? I missed you, too.”
In an instant, all the anger drains away from Shizuo's face. He turns to Izaya, his mouth slightly open in surprise.
“You were with me, but it wasn't really you. I missed my Shizu-chan! Another is no good for me.” Izaya stands and stretches, aware Shizuo's eyes are still on him. He takes a few steps towards the roof entrance.
“Wha... Hey! Where are you going?” Shizuo asks, following after, as always.
“It's cold. I'm cold.” Izaya stops abruptly and turns to face Shizuo, who stops just short of ramming into him. “Let's go get a drink somewhere warm.”
“Like, uh. Like a date?” Shizuo clearly has all the experience of a fumbling teenager, and it's so charming somehow, so unlike the Shizuo in Izaya's mind, and that's enough for Izaya to know this is really happening.
“Yes. Like a date.”
Shizuo smiles, and Izaya finds he doesn't mind that he can't recall what the other Shizuo felt like or smelled like, doesn't mind having to learn it all over again. All that matters is this: Shizuo walking behind Izaya, holding onto the back of his coat with a gentle hand, directing him to a bar down the street that has a special on half-priced bloody marys. Shizuo laughs, says it's perfect for a flea like Izaya, and Izaya savors every second of it, orders a bloody mary just to make Shizuo laugh harder.
In another universe, they never come near the truck, and life resumes as normal. In another, Izaya doesn't confront Shizuo that day, and Shizuo never knows Izaya is in the city. In another, Izaya is killed instantly, and in another still, he never wakes up, and Shizuo is consumed by grief he can't explain, and a confession he'll never voice.
But in this universe, Shizuo sits in a cozy booth across from Izaya, their feet touching under the table as they talk and laugh together until the bartender is closing down. They step outside, and Izaya turns to leave, is startled when Shizuo's hand grips the back of Izaya's coat and tugs him closer. Izaya laughs delightedly, and he tugs Shizuo along to Shinjuku while Shizuo tries very hard to look annoyed by it. They wind up sprawled together on Izaya’s couch, TV playing lowly in the background, and when they wake up curled into each other, Izaya smiles sleepily, lifts his hand to Shizuo’s cheek, and kisses Shizuo as easily as if he’s done so a thousand times, and will do so a thousand times more.
#telescope now#Shizaya#Izaya Orihara#Shizuo Heiwajima#halloween fic#this is the end! thanks for reading you guys <3
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"Ah, yes. The slightly strange way that Tohru-kun speaks using Keigo* would become what, in other languages, I wonder?? If Tohru-kun didn't use Keigo (polite language?) it would honestly be like 'who.. who are you' (lol)"
*Keigo is the politeness level of speech in Japan used to speak to people above and below you in the hierarchy. This does not exist in English languages so it is incredibly hard to replicate or translate, which is why some of Tohru's 'character' is lost in translation. It is exceptionally rare for a young girl like Tohru to use Keigo, especially even to close friends. This is a trait she inherited from her father.
Example: the phrase 'to go/come' - Iku (行く) becomes mairu (参る/Humble form) and irasharu (いらっしゃる/Honorific form).
"The importance of when Yuki uses 'ore' rather than 'boku', and other such nuances? It is a shame that such things probably can't be translated"
"The little things are really really important, as I keep saying, and there are so many of them."
"But I really obsess over whether a person refers to themself by saying 私/Watashi*, 俺/Ore**, 僕/Boku*** or あたし/Atashi****. A rude or vulgar person saying Boku is the best thing ever, in my opinion. In my opinion. (This conversation kind of swerved off track"
*私/Watashi is the common, gender-neutral, polite term most Japanese people use to refer to themselves.
**俺/Ore is a term generally used in casual situations by males. It gives off a very 'rough' and 'manly' vibe. Kyo often uses 'ore' to refer to himself.
***僕/Boku is a term generally used in casual situations by young males, and is a much 'softer' version of Ore.
****あたし/Atashi is a more feminine version of Watashi.
"Ah~... thank you~ ( ˘ω˘ ) I was obsessed with Rin referring to herself as 'Atashi (アタシ)' in Katakana*"
*Katakana is one of the three Japanese writing systems. Writing this word in Katakana as opposed to Hiragana (the system normally used) adds emphasis to the word.
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Story Update
Here’s an update that took way too long to write~
Now if only I can get motivation to write the other ones...
Title: Trapped in Reality
Pairings: Shizuo x Izaya
Rated: R
Summary: “Kuru-nee is right, Iza-nii’s name is in there lots. What are we going to do if Iza-nii leaves?” Mairu’s voice wavers as she speaks in an attempt to hold back more tears in favor of speaking. “We can’t do it alone; you can’t leave us like mother and father did.”
“I will do whatever I can to not leave you like they left us.“
Fanfiction.net: Chapter 3
Ao3: Chapter 3
Thank you to my friend for being my beta reader!
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Holiday Kiss, my secret santa gift for Bree
Tucked away in a dark spot between two kiosks, Shizuo checks the notes and coins in his hand trying to figure out how many rides they can get him into. He’s left most of the money his mother gave him earlier this afternoon with his little brother; it seemed only fair given that he had gone to the fair with the intention of abandoning him. Kasuka will be fine, he knows, and that reassuring thought keeps him from feeling too guilty about intentionally lagging behind until the rest of the company, composed of his little brother and their cousins, had lost him completely. The chances are they will only look for him when their time of departure approaches. Kasuka is bright enough to guess that his older brother has disappeared on purpose and their cousins are unlikely to lament the loss of his company, except perhaps when an opportunity to mock him comes up and he’s nowhere to be seen, depriving them of the vicious pleasure of watching him seethe, unable to do anything to vent his frustration. Despite him thinking that he is entirely incapable of self-control, Shizuo has proven to his mother on countless occasions that he can restrain himself in order to not embarrass her or hurt her feelings. She has never told her son, but she often wishes the world was more understanding, less cruel towards her sweet older boy who can be the most loving young man if given the opportunity but can just as easily explode in rage if faced with injustice. What she has told him is that people are often cruel by defense, to hide their insecurities, and that deep down everyone is flawed and scared, and he tries his best to always remember it.
He’s still struggling with the simple maths of how many rides the amount in his possession translates into when he catches a voice that has adrenaline coursing through his veins and drowning away any hints of coherency. He snaps his head to the direction of said voice, already seeing red, but stumbles upon confusion as he’s faced with a rather unexpected image and it’s only then that he registers the words he’s hearing.
“Now, you will both stay close – no running away on a whim, Mairu! If you’re not holding my hand, I want you to be maximum two steps ahead of me.”
“Izaya-kun?”
This is perhaps the calmest he has ever sounded with that name on his tongue. Izaya must recognize his voice just as easily, because he freezes immediately, going completely still for a moment as he’s hunched over. Then he whips around to face Shizuo while simultaneously stretching his hands out a bit on his sides, as if to protect the small figures behind him from the beast before them.
“Sh-shizu-chan?” he stutters, his face a pale white devoid of any emotion other than apprehension. “I am here with my sisters” he adds quickly, clearly in an attempt to deter Shizuo from causing a scene and oblivious to the fact that Shizuo himself has no such intention.
“I can see that”, he says instead, a bright smile on his face as he sends a friendly nod to the two faces obscured be Izaya’s outstretched arms. “Hello” he adds as he ducks to get a better look. The girls peer at the stranger behind the barrier of their brother, gazes inquisitive and perceptive, one closed-off and the other mischievous. It’s the mischievous one who steps forward first, ignoring her brother’s attempt to keep her hidden by shifting his weight.
“Are you friends with Iza-nii?”
There’s a short pause, during which the other girl also steps forward, with a look on her face that reminds Shizuo a little of his brother, until he finally shrugs and replies lightly “we have some common friends”. It’s not a lie, but it’s not exactly the answer to the question posed either. But the girls seem content anyway, the one with mischief clear in her eyes nodding enthusiastically and greeting him with a joyful hi as the other one simply blinks.
“We’re here to kill a couple of hours. The fair is big enough to fit us both, so let’s just steer clear of each other and call it a ceasefire for New Year’s Eve.”
Izaya sounds composed, but the look on his face is too rigid to be anything but anxious. The similarity between the three siblings is uncanny. Shizuo knows from Shinra that Izaya’s sisters are identical twins, but he didn’t expect them to also look so much like their brother. Especially the one with braided long hair could be a spitting image of him when he was her age.
“That’s fine” he says, his eyes still on the tiny girls gazing up at him. “I’m also just killing some time.”
“On your own? Can’t you find even a single person to put up with you during the holidays?” Izaya scoffs, some of the customary hostility they share having returned to his posture. Shizuo chooses to ignore it and explains calmly that he’s lost his company and before he’s finished speaking he has two Orihara girls clinging to his legs.
“You can come with us!” the talkative one exclaims as her sister joins her in a chorus for the last two words.
“I’m sure he has better things to do”, Izaya provides, arms crossed in front of his chest, but Shizuo is fast to disprove him.
“I don’t, actually.” He watches Izaya’s eyes widen comically before turning to the little girls still clinging onto him. “I’d love to tag along, if your brother’s ok with that.” It’s cheap of him, he knows. Izaya would probably agree to jumping off the roof to save himself from his sisters’ wailing. But he’ll take what he can.
Unsurprisingly, Izaya is broody for the first several minutes of their joint wandering. The girls are overexcited with the unexpected addition of a new member to their company and with the variety of options around them, bouncing eagerly from one side to the other, arguing between themselves about which rides they should go to and what sweets they should buy from the kiosks, while Izaya follows them closely, sulking in a very uncharacteristic manner. Shizuo manages to extract the names of the girls from him – Mairu, the one with the braid, and Kururi, the quiet one – and their age – 6. Shizuo watches him from the corner of his eye, walking beside him with his shoulders tense and his jaw set, as if ready for a fight. He’s never been blind to Izaya’s good looks, but it’s always been easy to look past them and focus on his annoying antics instead. But out here, in the middle of a crowded fair, with Christmas lights casting golden and crimson hues along Izaya’s pale face, it’s hard to think of anything else. With Izaya on the defensive there are no biting comments, no sarcastic smirks, only a handsome boy walking next to him, quietly watching his sisters ahead of him. It’s endearing really.
“Your sisters are fun.” Izaya tenses next to him, but keeps quiet. “I have never seen you with them before.”
“Do you spend your free time stalking me, Shizu-chan?”
Deep down everyone is flawed and scared, he repeats his mother’s words to himself and chuckles. “I just mean that I could never picture you this way. I have a little brother myself-”
“I know”, Izaya cuts him off with cold indifference, as if this brief exchange has managed to bore him already. “How come he’s not tailing you? Does your mother not force you to take him along with you everywhere?”
It sounds like a typical, if somewhat petty, older brother complaint and Shizuo finds himself feeling amused. “He’s somewhere around here with our cousins.”
When Izaya turns to look straight at him, Shizuo feels as if the world has momentarily stopped turning. His eyes look unnaturally bright as they reflect the neon signs around them and the way he stares openly at Shizuo’s face, it’s as if he’s reaching into his mind and caressing every thought of his. “Not a very good company, I guess?” He’s shrugging before Shizuo has had the chance to offer a reply, turning away to follow his sisters to one of the kiosks selling soft ice, scoffing family is overrated over his shoulder and the moment Shizuo thinks they shared is gone just like that.
Between arguing about which rides are best suited for the twins’ age and munching on jelly beans and soft ice and chocolate bars and pretty much anything sugar-loaded available, they end up not going to that many rides after all. They agree on the least exciting-looking roller coaster, one that is clearly destined for the younger ages, and Mairu is practically furious about said choice, as if this specific roller coaster constitutes a personal insult for her. But it’s the only one her brother will allow her on and she’s been bugging them about getting on a roller coaster since the moment they arrived, so she gives in eventually. Shizuo sits with Kururi behind Izaya who is vainly trying to restrain Mairu next to him. It’s not that bad, after all. Kururi has a wide grin on her face throughout the ride while Mairu squeals incessantly, throwing her arms in the air and howling like a wolf, but it’s Izaya’s crystalline laughter that echoes in Shizuo’s ears even after they’ve climbed out of their seats and moved on to buy tickets to the Ferris wheel. Mairu climbs in with Shizuo this time and gives him multiple heart attacks by swinging her legs non-stop, making their car rock precariously from side to side. They get the girls on the carousel afterwards, standing by next to each other and watching them ride on their fake horses with huge grins on their faces.
“You could have gotten on the more exciting rides on your own” Izaya says at some point, but there’s no mocking lilt in his voice, no malice, just a matter-of-fact statement. “You would have probably had more fun.”
“Nah. I’m having a good time as it is.”
The girls come running shortly after and they’re off to find the next ride to spend their money on, but Izaya’s gaze lingers on Shizuo as they move on.
As they’re passing by the shooting games, Mairu suddenly starts jumping up and down, her little arm extended in the air and pointing at something. “Iza-nii, I want THAT!” she’s shrieking within seconds, grabbing her brother’s pants and pulling him towards one of the games. There’s a metallic headband with deer ears and antlers hanging along with an assortment of plushies and hats at the back, which serve as prizes for those who manage to shoot down a number of targets. “They’re so beautiful!” she croons and Shizuo can see why. The antlers are long and thin, painted rose gold. The ears are fluffy, made of a combination of felt and faux fur, and sprinkled with stardust. The top of the headband is decorated with small silk flowers, of different sizes and colors. It’s certainly cheap and flimsy, as all carnival prizes tend to be, but it still looks like someone put great care into making it.
“Elf” Kururi mutters, joining her sister in front of the kiosk and pointing at an elf hat, complete with pointy ears, just a bit to the right of the deer headband.
Izaya sighs, exasperated with his sisters’ antics, but asks how much it costs to try his luck anyway. When the clearly bored employee hands him a shotgun, Izaya turns to extend it to Shizuo. “Come on, Shizu-chan, show us what you’ve got.”
Needless to say, Shizuo fails miserably. He manages to shoot down one target and is a second away from splitting the toy gun in half by the time he runs out of bullets. The twins are close to tears from disappointment, but Izaya looks sorely amused. He pays for another round, places the gun against his shoulder, takes aim and keeps entirely still for a second, before pulling the trigger and missing the first target by a hair. He remains calm and still despite the disappointed sounds his sisters make. He adjusts his position quietly, not losing his concentration, takes a deep breath and holds it before pulling the trigger and shooting down the first target. The twins scream with excitement and start jumping up and down excitedly, while Shizuo whistles his approval. Izaya ignores their reactions completely and continues in the same pace until he’s shot down all targets and won the headband for Mairu and then reluctantly pays for another round to win Kururi’s elf hat as well.
“You’re really good!” Shizuo exclaims when Izaya turns around to join them, handing over Kururi’s prize.
“And you’re predictably terrible” is what Izaya offers in reply, but his mood is clearly lighter than before as he basks in the awe-stricken stares of the crowd that has gathered to watch him shoot one target after the other.
“Where did you learn to shoot like that?”
“Didn’t you know? When I’m not wrecking Raijin with you, I’m a hitman for the yakuza.”
Despite his tone dripping with sarcasm, Shizuo has the sinking feeling that it wouldn’t be too farfetched for Izaya. It must show on his face because Izaya laughs at him like a madman.
Half an hour later, they’re sitting at a picnic bench facing each other, watching the girls run around with other kids not far from them. A comfortable silence has descended between them and Shizuo thinks to himself that Izaya is almost nice to be around when he’s not actively trying to piss him off. He lets his gaze wander to the boy sitting opposite him, studying his profile as the other is busy watching his sisters with a look that resembles affection too closely to look anything but foreign on him.
“This was nice.”
Izaya doesn’t refute this, but he keeps silent long enough to get Shizuo worried. His gaze is still following his sisters although his attention has clearly shifted. He drums his fingers on the table between them and hums skepticism in the back of his throat. “And it’s back to normal after the holidays, right?” He only cuts his gaze to Shizuo when his question goes unanswered and coming face to face with confusion he continues “Me pissing you off, you trying to kill me. Life at Raijin as we know it.”
Izaya’s features are set in hard resolve and his expression feels out of place in their current setting. He looks almost upset and Shizuo is shaking his head rendered weak with uncertainty. “It doesn’t have to be.”
Izaya’s jaw tenses, he averts his gaze to stare at the surface of the table instead, pressing his lips tight together as if to keep himself from saying something he’ll regret. Shizuo thinks he should say something, but as he opens his mouth, still uncertain of what’s going to come out of it, Izaya’s cell phone starts ringing and the moment is gone. As Izaya checks the screen for the caller’s identity and grimaces irritation, the twins arrive running at the table chanting a chorus of mom.
“Hello? Yes, hi mother” Izaya speaks into the receiver rolling his eyes and swatting his sisters’ hands away from him and the device. “Have you just landed? Alright, we’ll see you at home then.” The girls have fisted their little hands in his coat and are trying to pull him away from the table even before he’s hung up, Kururi murmuring late while Mairu alternates between shrieking with joy and berating her brother for not taking them home earlier. “They have just landed at the airport. They are still waiting for their luggage and they need at least an hour to get home from there, so stop dragging me!” They let go of him eventually, but they stay hovering by the table, eager to leave asap, so Izaya stands begrudgingly. “I guess it’s time we left, Shizu-chan.”
“It was nice meeting you, girls” Shizuo says as he gets up and then squats to be at the same level with the twins, trying his best to conceal his disappointment at having this evening cut short. He finds it easier than he originally thought as the twins throw themselves at him, hugging him tightly and wishing him a happy new year. Mairu goes on to heatedly explain that their parents are coming back for the New Year celebrations and they have to rush back home to welcome them and Shizuo can’t help but smile goofily at her excitement. Kururi just looks up at him and takes the hat off her head to place it on his. Present is all she says, but her eyes make it clear that she will not take no for an answer, so Shizuo thanks her and leaves the hat on. He hears Izaya chuckling above him, but Mairu is jumping on the table next thing he knows and when he looks up, Izaya has the deer antlers propped on his head, looking surprised and adorable. It’s Shizuo’s turn to chuckle, but as Izaya’s eyes narrow with irritation he states “you look cute” and watches color rise in the other’s face.
“If you tell anyone, I’ll kill you.” Shizuo takes it for the empty threat it is and just smiles.
“Leave it on, it suits you” and he takes a step forward, effectively stepping into Izaya’s personal space, leaning in to plant a kiss on his cheek. Izaya starts, shocked at the close proximity and clearly not knowing what to expect, and the kiss lands not exactly on his cheek, but at the corner of his lips, leaving the both of them embarrassed as the girls stare at them with matching devilish grins. “Happy New Year”, Shizuo blurts before turning to leave, to go find his brother and cousins so they can all leave together, the image of Izaya looking literally like a deer caught in the headlights imprinted on his memory.
DRRRSecretSanta2019: A lovely fic for @breedafool by Astroenergy! Thank you so much for participating!!
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